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“I’ve known her longer than we’ve been dating.”
“That’s cool.” Vi said flatly. She scrubbed the dish in front of her with much more force than necessary, and sent a fork flying to the floor.
Caitlyn raised her eyebrow. “What’d that dish ever do to you?”
Vi’s chest heaved. “Forget it.”
“I’m just saying!” Caitlyn said, exasperated. “That’s why we planned the trip together - Vi, I haven’t seen her in seven years.”
“Just the two of you?” Vi dropped the sponge, turning to face her. The dish floated to the bottom of the sink, half-scrubbed.
Caitlyn said softly, “Don’t be like this.”
Vi swallowed. “I saw the way she was looking at you.”
“She’s straight.”
“Didn’t look like it to me.” Vi met her blue eyes, before almost strangling the kitchen towel with her wet hands. She wiped them one by one, listlessly.
Caitlyn watched the hurt in her movements and sighed deeply. “She’s a good friend.”
“I can tell.” Vi bit her lip. She felt awful for getting this mad, but she’d seen the way the girl had acted around Caitlyn. It didn’t help that she was gorgeous; it didn’t help that Caitlyn had known her for half her adult life. Her heart twisted in jealousy.
“We were just teasing.” Caitlyn murmured. “Having fun.” She paused. “Like girls do."
Vi gripped the kitchen counter with a tight fist, facing away from Caitlyn. She replayed the night’s interaction in her head and regretted it the moment she did; she heard the elated giggle from Caitlyn, the way her eyes had lit up when they’d met. In a single night, she could tell the two were like sisters - inseparable. Finishing each others’ sentences, laughing. The ugly green emotion twisted her stomach. She felt sick.
Caitlyn came up behind her to wrap her arms around the girl.
“We’re just good friends.” She murmured against her back. “Her parents knew mine. It’s not like that, I swear, Vi.”
Vi grimaced. She was supposed to be happy for her girlfriend: joyous high-school reunion! She’d seen the smile Savannah had brought Caitlyn, and a pretty smile it was. They were supposed to support each other in this relationship. But her heart twisted in protest. Savannah was smoking hot. She stared at her own hands, bruised and damaged from misuse.
“What’s happening in there?” Caitlyn pressed a kiss to her muscled back, before running a hand through pink hair, rubbing the sides of her temple softly.
“Nothing you’d want to know about.” Vi said. She yawned. “I think I’m just gonna go to bed. I’ll finish these dishes tomorrow, Cait. Good night.”
————
Vi was rolled over in the bed, staring at the window. The night had brought rain, and she watched a single drop race the others to the bottom of the glass. It fell with glory, speeding gracefully to the bottom to claim victory. She watched another try and barely make it. Like her, and Savannah. A classic tale: one for the ages. The underdog and the gladiator. She wasn’t stupid - she knew nine times out of ten the gladiator won. People just made stupid stories up to make themselves feel better.
“Vi, everything okay?” came Caitlyn’s soft voice.
No. You’re not supposed to be here. You’re not supposed to be with me.
There was a silence, briefly punctuated by Caitlyn taking off her shoes, and the soft brr of a zipper as she slipped into her pyjamas.
Vi sighed, watching the rain race with something like bitter defeat. “Savannah could take care of you a lot better than I can.” Every tale Vander had told her had ended with the pretty girl in the arms of the prince, not the street rat. “One of the richest families downtown, no?” She swallowed. “Smart. Rich. Legs for days.” Her voice was so small that Caitlyn had to strain to hear it. “I don’t know what I can give you that she can’t.”
Caitlyn was about to speak when Vi interrupted, “Have you seen this shitty apartment? I don’t even have a working elevator.”
“I’m not with you for a working elevator. That’s so stupid.”
Caitlyn’s voice rambled on, indignant. “I’m tired of this, Vi. I don’t know why you’re even…”
Vi was barely in the room to hear it. She rubbed her temple with a rough hand, sighing as the voices she’d collected and stored over the years made their unwelcome appearance.
Vi. The delinquent. Can’t solve a problem without her fists. The sooner you let her into your house, the faster she’d steal everything in it. She loses everything she loves. Street trash. Vermin. Can’t hold a job if her life depended on it. Do you know why Powder left? It was because you weren’t good enough to take care of her. Vander would be ashamed. You’re a mess.
The voices were cruel, but they had a point. The image of her, in rags, and Caitlyn, in riches, flashed in her mind like one of Vander’s fairytales. This image was so jarringly incompatible that she blurted out,
“If you want to leave, Cait - just say it.”
The sentence was shocking - it made Caitlyn gasp.
Caitlyn climbed on top of her, keeping her there. “I don’t.”
Vi moved her neck away from Caitlyn as she kissed it, and Caitlyn gasped, pulling her lips back. It was only at the start, a long time ago, that Vi would move away from her touch.
Vi moved away, because she thought Caitlyn would hurt her.
“Baby, stop.” Caitlyn whispered, as a callused hand moved to her thigh, about to shove her off. “Can we talk about this?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Vi was stronger than her, but she pressed the muscled body down with a hand regardless.
“I think there is.” Caitlyn said, resolute, before she grabbed Vi’s hand on her thigh and pinned it to the mattress. “Stop fighting me.”
“I’m not.” Vi squirmed. Her breaths were coming harsher as the voices got louder. Caitlyn pressed a soft kiss again to her neck, pressing Vi’s wrist on the bed. “You’re not leaving without telling me what’s wrong.”
“What’s wrong is that she’s-” Vi said, her eyes filled with tears. She brought the callused hand back to the thigh, intent again on pushing Caitlyn off. “Better than me! Okay? And you deserve that. You deserve someone who’s not some-” She gestured at her own apartment, which was strewn with dirty dishes, clothes from two weeks ago, and instant noodle packets. “Fucking shitshow. Cait, I love you, and you know that. But even you gotta admit that this?” She pointed at herself, pinching the fabric of her shirt, ripped slightly and with a tear on the side. She pointed to the girl’s pristine clothes in comparison, ironed and pressed, with her bloody initials sewn on it. “And this. Doesn’t. Work.” She thumbed the collar. “It never has. Cait, she lives in a mansion.”
She gestured again to her tiny apartment - it was dismal compared to Caitlyn’s, and to everyone’s uptown. She was pretty sure the Kirammans’ bathroom was bigger than her entire living space.
“So do I.” Caitlyn retorted. “And yet - I’m here. Do you know why?”
Vi shrugged.
Caitlyn pulled her into a rough kiss, pressing her chest onto the mattress. She slid a gentle hand under the ripped shirt to reach Vi’s heart, which thumped wildly under her palm. She pressed it lightly, feeling the beat reverberate under her fingers.
“I couldn’t give a shit how much money you have. And I don’t fucking care what you wear, either.” Caitlyn growled. She kissed Vi again, this time sliding her body over Vi’s to make sure she couldn’t leave. “Your shitty apartment? A paradise. Do you know why?”
Vi shook her head.
Caitlyn pressed her hand into her heart, pulling her deeper into the kiss. She thumbed a stroke over her chest, pulling back. “Because I get to be with you.”
She saw Vi about to interrupt and she cut her off, sliding a hand into her hair. She kissed her again.
“I don’t even notice where I am when I’m with you. All I can think about is how good you are. How kind you are.” Her own voice hitched and she kissed her again, cutting off Vi’s protests. “You’re so sweet, Vi. And I know that. I’m with you because I love you.” She sniffed. “I’m sorry if that’s not enough.”
She bent to kiss Vi’s neck again, tears starting to slide down her skin. “Savannah is- she’s a friend. No one can treat me better than you can.”
She rubbed at her own eyes, which had become wet. “You have a good heart.” She thumbed over Vi’s heart again, feeling the heartbeat start to slow. “That’s why I’m with you. You really think I’m that fucking shallow I would want someone for their money?”
Vi was floored. She swallowed, the girl’s words singing in her ear, striking straight to the heart that she held under her fingertips. “I don’t know.” She said weakly.
“No, you don’t.” Caitlyn replied. She bent her forehead to Vi’s, shaking her head. “Because if you did, you’d know the only girl I want is you. Always, baby. Is that enough?”
Vi’s lip trembled. “Cait.”
Caitlyn kissed her, soft and slow this time. “I love everything about you. I even love the broken elevator.”
There was a pause, before she leant back and said very seriously, “I’m yours, Vi.”
A simple statement; it sent shockwaves through Vi's body. She swallowed again. "Do you promise?"
"Oh, baby." Caitlyn stroked her cheek. "I promise."