Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“No.”

“Uramichi senpaiiii!”

“No. Go die.”

“Uramichi-san I'm begging! I can’t deal with her right now-”

Having had enough of his whining, Uramichi turns around slowly to face his kouhai, a terrifyingly blank expression on his face. Said kouhai can sense the impending danger and lets out a small plea to no avail.

Usahara is removed (more like thrown out on his ass) from the oniisan’s dressing room with a pout on his face. He recovers quickly and then he’s off running. He needed to get a break from Capellini-san. She was driving him crazy!

No matter where he went, she’d always find him to rehearse choreography that an infant could learn in an hour. Ok, maybe an infant couldn’t even stay awake an hour, but the point is there. He's no Broadway performer, but he’s just as good as the other actors, minus Iketeru-san who somehow is perfect at everything he does.

Of course, that doesn’t apply to the man’s awfully immature humor.

Stop getting distracted! He needs to hide. Everyone he’s gone to for help has kicked him out in fear of being dragged into extra rehearsal with him. Kumatani was no help either; he vanished the minute Capellini-san came around the corner.

“Screw you Kumatani! Always leaving me in my time of need!” the blonde shouts into the empty hallway.

“Usao-kun~, there you are! Your break is over! We still have lots of work to do, cutie pie!”

It's over. He's been captured yet again. Another 2 hours of the same impossibly thorough warmup, repetitive moves, and non-work-friendly comments that make him wish he were dead is ahead of him.

“Sweetie, I've got some new moves for you to try out...” he’s mostly blocking it out at this point preparing for the worst as he’s being dragged away by the blonde choreographer.

The obvious solution would be to go to HR, but he knows his shitty company won’t do anything.

His fate is sealed.

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After everyone was done for the day, they went out for a drink as per their usual ritual on more emotionally taxing days.

“I wish I was funny... then girls would like me. Girls that aren’t Capellini-san. Ughh How do I be funnier for the girls I want? You know what she said the other day? ‘you’re just my type.’ like that has got to be sexual harassment.”

Also, as per their usual ritual, Usahara is drunk after only 10 mins and is spouting his usual drunken complaints.

The group collectively ignores him and discuss mundane topics such as the news and the new pay schedule for work.

“This sucks. I don’t wanna get paid once a week. Twice a week was so much better.” Utano groans before drowning her sorrows in sake. ‘If you kicked out your deadbeat boyfriend, I'm sure it would make it easier to save your money’ Uramichi thinks to himself, not daring to start the roller-coaster of emotions he’d face if he’d said it aloud.

Kumatani hums in agreement with Utano’s statement and continues to silently sip his drink while Uramichi lights a cigarette. Why does he always get dragged along to these anyway? They're always the same amount of sad and boring. He silently hopes the sun doesn’t rise tomorrow and blows some smoke away from the table.

“That shit’s bad for you y’know.” Usahara had stopped his moping and turned his attention to Uramichi, who looked back at him with mild annoyance.

“You should quit before you get all the cancers, you don’t want to go bald at 30. No wonder girls don’t- NO! NO please! Uramichi-san I was joking I swear-” and just like that he’s dragged outside into the snow, screaming like a baby as if he doesn’t bring this on himself.

When Uramichi returns, he grabs his jacket and says he’s going to head out, waving down the waiter for his and Usahara’s bill. Kumatani thinks it strange that he picks up Usahara’s tab without protest. sure, if he was here, Usahara definitely would have begged one of them to get it anyway, but to do it after throwing him outside?

Uramichi notices the quizzical look coming from Kumatani and sighs, “Even if it adds to his tab, he would just bother me till I pay it anyway, making my life even more unsatisfactory and miserable than it already is.” Kumatani nods in bleak understanding.

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The days go by like normal, Derekida comes up with horrible ideas and they act them out. Usahara thinks back at the filming on the beach (in the middle of winter) and shivers at the memory of shooting Uramichi with the water gun.

He was almost killed! Like multiple times! And no one did anything!

“That damn Uramichi. He always just pushes us around!” He once again starts his tirade on the oniisan against all common sense. “He doesn’t even have any hobbies besides working ou- Kumatani? Why are you walking away? Shit-”

He’s now in the break room, holding a bag of frozen peas to his head, when Uramichi walks in. In a panic, he throws on his Usao-kun head and tries to act normal. This doesn’t work of course because he had already gotten out of his suit, so just having the head on is useless.

‘At least I don’t have to look him in the eyes.’ he thinks to himself.

Uramichi looks over at the 28-year-old man with a pink oversized rabbit head and watches as he stiffens under his gaze. He looks away and lights a cigarette, leaning on the opposite wall in silence.

In his peripheral vision, he sees the rabbit-man hybrid begin to tremble. He’s not paid enough to deal with this. He already had to deal with 4 crying children and 1 asking where babies came from during their live segment.

“Relax. Take off that stupid head. You look like an idiot.” he says after a beat.

The rabbit-hybrid jumps and lets out a small squeak at being acknowledged before hurriedly taking said costume piece off. Keeping his eyes trained to the floor, he returns the peas to his injured head. They sit in silence and Usahara eventually goes back to his usual self.

“I am not excited about this company trip.” he groans. “I’m gonna be stuck in the same resort as Capellini-san for two whole days. My life is over!”

Uramichi gives him a ‘stop being so dramatic. I didn’t even know about this trip till an hour ago.’ look and Usahara feels the need to defend himself.

“Dude, you don’t see how she acts cause we have different rehearsal times. No matter what I’m doing, she looks at me like a hungry animal and I'm a seven-course meal. I don’t want to be a seven-course meal!” He’s not exaggerating. Even Uramichi’s noticed the primal aura ruminating off the strict choreographer. “I need to come up with a way to get her to give up on me.” The blonde thinks out loud.

“Just get a girlfriend.” Uramichi supplies the solution like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“If I could, don’tcha think I would’ve done that by now?” he says, frustrated in his own incapability. Uramichi shrugs, completely uninterested in this conversation. Suddenly the taller man’s face lights up and Uramichi can literally see the lightbulb of a no doubt idiotic plan pop into his head.

“I only need to make it SEEM like I’m taken to get her off my back, so why don’t I just pretend to date someone I already know, preferably on this set, so she will see it and leave me alone,” he says like it’s a perfectly sane solution.

Chapter Text

“No way in hell.” Uramichi deadpans.

“C’mon! Everyone knows Utano won't leave her douchebag boyfriend even if he cheated on her and Kumatani has that whole ‘will they won’t they’ thing with Iketeru. Plus, Kumatani would send me to an early grave if I even asked him.”

Uramichi is honestly surprised Usahara was open to the idea of dating (or fake dating) men. He’s never mentioned wanting to be popular with men before while drunk. The brunette hadn’t put much thought into the younger man’s romantic interests in the first place, but the information was intriguing.

And wait a minute... Kumatani has what with iketeru?? On second thought, he sees it.

“There are other people in this office.” he decides to say.

“You’re kidding. First off, Kikaku looks like he’d skin me alive if I breathed the same air as him. And Uebu has made it very clear he only likes anime girls. Secondly, all the girls in the office are besties with Capellini-san. Please you’re the only one!” The blonde seems like he’s thought about this longer than he’s letting on.

“Why weren’t you afraid to ask me, like you were with Kumatani and Kikaku?” Uramichi hears himself saying against his better judgment.

Usahara becomes flustered as he wasn’t expecting Uramichi to ask something like that.

“Well, y’know you’re Uramichi-san.” he states as if it’s plain as day. “Even though you’re terrifying most of the time, you- you're not as mean as you portray yourself to be, but- but I don’t know maybe I'm wrong.” He quickly sticks that last line on there in a panic.

Uramichi gets a weird feeling in his gut that he does NOT like. Since when can Usahara read people? He’s never even seen him read a book!?

“Sorry about Capellini-san, but I’m not getting involved in this disaster.” The brunette states as he walks out of the room. He needed to get out of there; His idiot kouhai stopped acting like an idiot kouhai for a second and that freaked him out.

He guesses it’s not that out of the blue since the blonde has told Uramichi he could talk to him if he needed to in the past. The idiot has enough troubles with his gambling addiction and months worth of rent to pay up, why is he paying this much attention to Uramichi?

As he leaves, he hears the taller man sigh and whine “Uramichi senpaiiiiiii!” then he’s out the door.

As Usahara watches the door close on his one chance of freedom from their overly-friendly choreographer (figuratively and literally), he realizes something.

That was one of the longest conversations he’s ever had with Uramichi that didn’t end him with some bodily injury. And... did Uramichi just appologize?

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It was past the time he should’ve left his apartment to get to the bus on time, but Usahara hadn’t even started packing. Kumatani would never let them leave without him; he’ll be fine.

Kumatani definitely WOULD let them leave without him, but Usahara likes to live his life in denial.

He throws some clothes and other various items in a bag and runs out the door. It was a cool morning, so he’s happy he remembered his ‘wanna quit bunny’ jacket.

To his surprise, he was the second one there, the first being Uramichi. Shortly after, Utano and Iketeru arrive.

“Uramichi-san! Check out this T-shirt!” the ever-cheerful purple-haired man says as he opens his coat to reveal probably the most hideous and disturbing design Usahara’d ever laid his eyes on.

“It’s not- it's not cute! It's so not cute that I stumbled over the words! I'm in shock!” Uramichi responds.

The never-deterred Iketeru continued expressing his excitement for the shirt and the deal where he got a free pen case of the same design for purchasing two of the horrid articles.

Just then, Kumatani arrives, and low and behold, the second shirt appears. The blonde quickly gives Uramichi an ‘I told you so’ look and it’s received by a face of utter dumbfound-ment looking back at him.

-

On the bus, Usahara faces the longest ride of his life, getting stuck sitting next to the flirty choreographer herself. How had this even happened?! He was the second person here?!

Uramichi didn’t look too thrilled about his seating arrangement either, next to Derekida and Yusao Furode, their producer. Both of them leaning in and squishing Uramichi and Iketeru between them. (Even Iketeru looks like he’s about to snap) If he can get on his good side, maybe Uramichi will sit with him on the way back. Something about the idea of possibly getting to sit with Uramichi on the ride back gives him the motivation to get through this drive!

“Look at your skin! You were drinking last night, weren’t you?!” Capellini nitpicks while poking at his face. The motivation is gone.

When the bus comes to a stop at the resort, he’s covered in lipstick yet again. Iketeru and Uramichi don’t look any better. They’re all ready to go home.

Chapter Text

They decide to go straight to the baths after putting their stuff in their shared room.

In the baths, Uramichi is mostly blocking out the others' conversation when he catches sight of Usahara next to him, turned away. His eyes follow the curve of the other man’s muscles and watches as the warm water rolls down them. He scans his wide back for any imperfection, but he finds none. Finally, eyes reach the other’s face. There was a small redness to the blonde’s face, no doubt from the heat of the bath. ‘pretty’ is the only way he can describe the scene.

It's not news to him that Usahara was conventionally attractive. He’s known since they were roommates for a short time in college.

“Uhh Uramichi? Did you hear me?” he hears a familiar voice ask. Shit, he got distracted. How long has Usahara been talking to him?

“Huh?” He replies dumbly, prying his eyes away to look anywhere else but the man in front of him.

Where did the others go? Just how long was he lost in thought??

“I said, ‘Iketeru and Kumatani headed back cause Iketeru was feeling light-headed.’ What’s got you so distracted?” the other man answers all his questions despite him only asking in his head.

“The realization that I'll slave away my whole life for bosses that’ll never see me as a human being, just so I can survive and keep living this meaningless existence until I can someday retire when I'll be too old to even enjoy the freedom before I die.” It's not like this wasn’t bothering him all the time anyway, so it’s technically not a lie.

“If you always think about the world so bleakly, you’ll end up living exactly the way you just described.” the blonde says. Usahara’s surprisingly insightful response takes him off guard. He expected the younger man to just shrug it off and leave him alone, but he’s looking back at him with his head tilted to the side, eyeing him like he's trying to read his mind.

“Just- stop worrying about me. I don’t need to be lectured. Let’s get out so we don’t miss dinner.” he says already turning away to escape without having to continue this conversation. He's out and changing before Usahara can respond.

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After changing and getting ready for dinner, Usahara remembers his favorite clip that his little cousin had given him was in his bag. It's pink and has a strawberry on it. If asked, he’ll say it’s the only one he has and an ex-girlfriend left it at his place. He doesn’t need to be teased even more around the studio. He puts it in his hair and heads to dinner.

Utano’s drunk and singing karaoke of what Uramichi says is her own song, though she’s crying so it’s hard to understand the words.

Once her song is over, she’s crying at Uramichi about how he probably thinks she's a crazy drunk pain in the ass. Usahara tries to join in and tell them to try to have fun when Capellini strikes again.

“You could be having a lot more fun!” she says smacking him on the ass and dragging him away from the party.

“Uramichi-san! Uramichi-san help meeeee...”

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After returning from the depths of hell then an intense ping pong game, Usahara and the group decide to soak again in the baths.

“Ah! Uramichi-san! A stinkbug!” It was crawling on his towel.

“What? It's only a bug. Don’t make a fuss.” Uramichi replies, shrugging off his cries.

“I can’t! I can’t help it! It's creepy!” he says, now cowering behind the slightly older man. “That’s my only towel!”

Uramichi sighs, “Just leave it alone. I’m sure it’ll crawl somewhere else.”

The blonde grips his shoulders, “Is it really okay?! Without the towel, everyone’ll see my whole hog!”

Uncontrollable snickering, Iketeru, can be heard off to the side.

The realization strikes the brunette like a truck at rush hour. Usahara... naked...

He turns on his heel, bright red, and makes a beeline to the baths. He’s had enough of the damn stinkbug.

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That night, Usahara’s up thinking after everyone else went to sleep. He’s trying to think of a way to give Iketeru his pillow fight he was so excited about and guesses the best time would be tomorrow morning. Iketeru deserves to have the school trip experience!

“I’ll help you.”

Chapter Text

The blonde jumps at the sudden voice, half thinking it was a ghost before recognizing the owner to be Uramichi.

“W-what? Help me with what?” he questioned the man who he thought was asleep a minute prior. Uramichi is sitting up cross-legged, finding the hem of his blanket impossibly entertaining.

“The thing you mentioned yesterday. I'll help you get Capellini-san off your back,” he answers.

“Wait?! For real?! You’ll do it?!” The blonde thinks he’s dreaming. He never thought Uramichi would agree to such a dumb plan?

“Unless you want to make a habit of wiping lipstick off your face.” He replies in a snarky tone.

“No way, man! I knew you’d come around!” he hugs the older man before pulling away and adding “I’m impossible to refuse!” He says rather confidently.

“No, you’re just too sad to watch.” the shorter man corrects.

“Awww Uramichi-san's worried about me, I'm truly touched,” Usahara says, holding his hands to his heart.

“Don’t make me change my mind.” is all he has to say for Usahara to quit the act and pretend to be asleep, using ungodly fake snores.

Uramichi rolls his eyes and lays back down to go to sleep, wondering what he just got himself into.

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After an early morning pillow fight that was probably more violent than it should have been and a late breakfast, it’s time for everyone to pack up and load onto the bus.

Usahara always packs light, thanks to his sports trips in high school and college, so this time he was the first one on the bus and got to snag a window seat! He put his bag on the other seat in the hopes of deterring most people from sitting beside him.

He hasn’t had a chance to talk to Uramichi about anything they’d talked about last night yet, so he’s been trying to distance himself in hopes of not making him change his mind.

While others began piling on the bus, he was getting lost in thought. Trying to come up with a way to sell this without getting his ass kicked by Uramichi was not an easy feat.

Suddenly his own bag is thrown into his lap and someone’s sitting next to him.

“Ur- Uramichi-san! You scared me haha,” he says rubbing the back of his neck. Uramichi hums as a response and opens his phone. His Phone case has a picture of Kotori-san on it, though his lock screen and background are the basic ones that the phone starts with.

“So, you do like Kotori-san. Y’know the merch isn’t nearly as scary as the original drawing.” He says, pointing to the back of the man’s phone as he places his bag on the floor under their feet.

“Kikaku-san sent a whole box of these cases to my apartment. I’m scared of what he’ll do if I don’t use one.” He replies, glaring at the cartoon ‘bird’ as if it had personally wronged him.

Usahara chuckles at the scene in front of him and Uramichi just stares at him for a second before returning to what he had been doing on his phone.

The bus ride was much quieter than on the way there. Everyone was tired and ready to go home. Uramichi hasn’t elbowed him so far so that’s a good sign! They talked about ‘Man-Eating Salmon vs Bunny on a Moped 3’ and discussed how the directors could possibly make it even worse than the first two.

Usahara thinks about how the older man hadn’t changed as much as he thought he had since college. He’s still the same on the inside, just buried under a lot of depression. Silently, he’s hoping this whole thing brings them close enough for Uramichi to open up to him.

Apparently, Uramichi had dozed off and fell onto the blonde’s shoulder. Usahara didn’t pay it any mind, however, he was too busy playing Genshin Impact on his phone. At the last mixer he went to, the girl he talked to the most wouldn’t shut up about the game, so he ended up downloading it. Of course, now he’s hooked and has spent more money than he’d care to admit on primogems.

-

Uramichi is awoken by the sound of movement from everyone preparing to exit the bus, just about falling out of his seat when he realized who his pillow was.

The pillow in question seemed too enthralled by whatever he was playing on his phone to even notice the man’s weight had been lifted from his shoulder.

“Uramichi-chan! You’re strong. Help us lift these boxes before you go home.” Derekida interrupts his train of thought.

“Chan??” he questions, unamused by the choice of honorific. Next thing he knows he finds himself moving boxes with Capellini-san glaring daggers into the back of his head.

They hadn’t even started the plan yet and he was already facing the consequences. What did he get himself into?

Chapter Text

Uramichi lets out a long sigh. He had just finished unpacking from the trip and was on the balcony lighting up a cigarette. He feels his phone buzz in his pocket; it’s a text from Utano.

He opens the text and chokes on cigarette smoke when he sees the attachment. It’s a picture of himself sleeping on Usahara’s shoulder on the bus. Usahara seems unaffected by the position they’re in and is looking at his phone while Kumatani is holding bunny ears over his head from the seat behind them. Iketeru can be seen next to him smiling brightly, probably not knowing what's going on.

*Knock Knock*

He knows who it is even before answering the door. Nobody else would dare disturb him at this hour after he just got home.

“I brought beers,” Usahara says as he’s taking off his shoes at the front door, before moving to sit on the couch. The idiot didn’t even ask if he could come in, though the offering of beer keeps Uramichi from pressing the issue.

“Why are you here?” Uramichi asks since the intruder had yet to speak again.

“You remember what we talked about before, right? Well, I was trying to think of ways to sell the relationship, but I'll need you to tell me your ground rules,” he says. Something sticks out to Uramichi.

“Ground rules?” He didn’t think there would need to be so much planning involved.

“Yeah, y’know like what you’re comfortable with. Like how far are we going to prove that we’re dating?” he explains further.

“I-” He’s taken very much off guard by the question, not sure how to answer. While he's trying to will his face to stay his natural complexion, Usahara continues.

“Okay Okay I've made a list, but don’t you dare laugh at me! I'll say something and you say whether you're comfortable with it or not.” his face gets redder as he’s preparing to list off what he has written down.

The 31-year-old nods to show he understands and won't laugh. (Though he can’t really promise the last part)

“Okay, so umm... holding hands and or hugging.” Uramichi nods again.

“Right okay...” he marks something down on his phone. “...most couples use like pet names...” Uramichi scrunches up his nose at that, clearly not a fan. “Understood. Uh how bout just like normal nicknames or first names?”

“First names feels weird,” Uramichi finally answers verbally to the blonde’s delight.

“Alright, let’s brainstorm some nicknames then... how about ‘Michi’ for you and hmm what for me...”

“I can just call you Usahara. I’m really not the type for nicknames and I don’t really say your name that much in the first place.”

“Yeah, true. My name’s kinda hard to make a nickname of anyway. We’re making good progress, Michi-san.” He says with finger guns.

Uramichi rolls his eyes and looks away to hide his emerging blush at the new nickname. He’s never had anyone call him by a nickname before, so it’ll take some time getting used to.

“Next on the list: uhh kissing. It can be like on the cheek or something, it doesn’t have to be the lips if that’s too weird.” He’s nervously talking fast and his cheeks are as red as Uramichi’s feel.

“I- I mean if it's like REALLY necessary...” The older man says slowly, refusing to tear his eyes from the view outside his window.

“Yeah of course that sounds good.” the younger responds. “So my ground rules are this: you can’t hit me anymore if I'm annoying you and you have to pick up your weights so I stop tripping on them!” he says gesturing at the weights in the middle of the living room floor.

Oh. Ground rules. He thinks of anything he wouldn’t want Usahara to do or say. “No talking behind my back or saying I don’t have any hobbies. Also, you’ll have to stop drinking or you’ll probably blow the plan by complaining about girls not liking you.” he decides on.

The last part gets the taller man’s attention, “No drinking?! C’mon if I can’t drink then you can’t smoke cause everyone knows I hate smoking!” He- he had a point.

“Fine you can drink, but if you start slipping up, I'll have to break your first ground rule and knock you out before you blow our cover. Got it?”

Usahara nods violently then starts... Laughing? Uramichi gives him a concerned look. Was the threat of bodily harm really a laughing matter?

“This whole thing is so funny. Man, I appreciate you doing this, Michi-Michi.” singing the nickname.

As he watches the other man laugh, Uramichi can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips and soon enough they’re both on the ground wiping tears from their eyes. Tomorrow’s gonna be one hell of a shit-show.

“Hey, we already have a head start cause you fell asleep on me on the bus ride back.” he chuckles, showing that Utano had sent him the same picture. “Here, let me make it your lock screen. Your’s is too boring for any ‘boyfriend’ of mine to have!” he says wrestling Uramichi for his phone that apparently, he knows the password to.

The brunette gives up his phone, being too delirious from their current situation to fight back. They’re both laying on the floor of his living room staring at the ceiling. Before he can think to stop them, his lips are moving on their own.

“I didn’t know you were, y’know, into guys.” he says.

The blonde blushes “oh yeah, I normally lean toward women, but I can’t deny that when I see an attractive guy, I feel the same as I do toward an attractive woman. Honestly, the world is too pent up on labeling everything, but I guess I'd be considered bi.” Uramichi hums in response.

“Well, how bout you? Obviously, if you don’t know or don’t wanna share no biggie.”

Uramichi hadn’t ever put much thought as to who he was attracted to and he has embarrassingly limited knowledge on all the different identities, so he’s not quite sure how to answer.

He takes a deep breathe, “I've never thought about it too hard to be honest.” he pauses to think. “I was always very focused on my goals growing up, I didn’t think it was important enough.”

“m, that makes sense. You had a strict schedule and there wasn’t time for that sort of thing. No worries, it’s never too late for self-discovery.” he moves his head to look at the other with a warm smile on his face.

Uramichi feels a warmth inside him growing from this simple conversation. He wasn’t quite ready to ‘self-discover' what it meant though.

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“What are you doing here, again?” Uramichi finds himself asking the man outside his door when he opened it to leave for work.

“We have to go over the plan, Michiiii.” The taller man answers/whines.

“There’s no ‘plan’ to go over. We have the ground rules, now let’s just wing it.” he says, shutting him down immediately.

“No,” Usahara affirms. “We can’t just walk in there and make out, it has to be subtle. This first week we gotta set the groundwork. C'mon, it’s like you’ve never had to fake date someone before.”

“Is this a common occurrence for you?” Knowing Usahara, it very well could be.

“It was a joke. Let's go. Arriving together late would definitely NOT be considered subtle.” he jokes as he pushes Uramichi out the door.

Chapter Text

They greet their coworkers like normal and suddenly the plan seems relatively doable. Usahara won't show it, but he’s been a nervous wreck all morning. He wanted to be prepared to be doing most of the work during the first day of this escapade.

While they’re all talking after being finished with costumes and makeup, the man in the bunny suit makes his first move.

He shifts so his elbow is propped up on Uramichi’s shoulder. A small first step, but Kumatani takes notice when the oniisan stiffens, but makes no initiative to remove the offending arm.

‘Interesting' the man in the bear suit thinks.

Surprisingly, Uramichi makes the next move once they’re called to set.

“Usahara, remember the queue I was texting you about.” he says before walking through the set doors.

“Got it, Michi.” the blonde assures. He certainly does not ‘get it’, but he plays along like he does.

“Michi?! And why didn’t he punch you in the face for that little stunt you pulled.” Kumatani asks, clearly suspicious of something.

“Huh? What stunt?? Guess we’ve started talking more since the trip, but I don’t know what the big deal is, though it’s just a nickname.” He answers quite smoothly if he says so himself, which he does.

-

Later in the work day when Usao-kun is dancing with the kids, a little brat decides it’d be funny to trip the friendly rabbit. He bites his lip to keep himself from cursing in front of the children as he stumbles forward and into Uramichi.

“Eek Uramichi! Don’t hurt me! It was an accident I sw-” he stops his apologizing when he realizes Uramichi had caught him.

“Y’know kids, it’s not nice to pull pranks on others. That’s how people get hurt. Now Haru-chan, would you mind apologizing to Usao-kun. He’s lucky I was here to catch him.”

The small boy (brat) apologizes while poorly concealing his laughter.

“I forgive you Haru-chan! Hip! Let's hop together soon!” He says cheerfully, in order to keep his job.

The kids start whispering to one another, “Usually Uramichi oniisan gets upset at Usao-kun when he makes mistakes. This is weird.” Another joins in with “yeah, maybe they had an unexpected adventure with life threatening dangers that left them with a better understanding of one another, so now their friendship is stronger because of it.” The children nod in agreement that that must’ve been the case.

‘What the hell are they feeding kids nowadays??’ Usahara thinks. He looks at Uramichi who shrugs.

During their break, Uramichi finds himself cornered in his own dressing room.

“I would expect at least you to knock.” he says, mildly annoyed, working out his grip strength.

“What’s going on?” the black-haired man asks.

“Look, I don’t know how the kids formed such complex relationship analysis. I only teach them how to survive as adults in this unforgiving, unrelenting world.” he avoids what the other obviously meant, hoping to end the conversation there.

Kumatani stood in surprise for a moment. “What?” he asks before continuing “Never mind the kids acting like mini literary professors, I mean Usahara.”

“What’d he do this time?”

“That’s what I came to ask you. You’re acting different towards him.”

“They’re going to call me back to set soon and I need a smoke break. I don’t have time for whatever you’re talking about.”

Kumatani gives in and leaves, knowing better than to get between Uramichi and his smoke breaks.

The brunette looks down at his phone and smiles as it lights up and shows the lock screen Usahara had changed last night.

In the end, the first day wasn’t a complete disaster.

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The rest of the week plays out more or less the same. Kumatani has stopped interrogating them, though every time Usahara uses the nickname, he looks as though he might explode.

Uramichi refrained from his usual acts of violence toward the blonde, but he still found ways to torment him during a shoot. In return, Usahara used his dressing room to escape Capellini, who began searching him out even more since the company trip.

He began finding himself looking at his ‘boyfriend’ more and more, which was great for the act, but not so great for his own sanity.

He knew the man was attractive. It’s a fact as is the sky is blue, so why can’t he stop thinking of the way the sweat drips from his hair and down his collarbone when he removes the top half of his costume. Or the way his abs show when he uses his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face.

He had always appreciated Usahara’s physique, justifying it as his interest in working out. The slight racing to his heart and lingering stares are unraveling this justification.

Shit.

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Midway through the second week, Usahara decides it’s time to make it official. He now finds himself being stared down by a boxer-clad Uramichi as he had just, once again, walked in without knocking.

“What the hell, Usahara?” The man complains, but Usahara is already moving on.

“I think we should kiss.” he says.

“Huh?!?”

Chapter Text

“Capellini’s not backing down. It’s time to step it up. The best way to do it would be to have someone catch us kissing. Then the whole company will know by the end of the day.” he explains talking fast again.

“Woah woah woah! We haven't even agreed on if we’re doing that yet.” Uramichi is trying to hide his blush at the thought of kissing Usahara.

“Can you think of a better way that’s as unmistakable?” he asks, seemingly frustrated that the shorter man is countering his 'perfect plan'.

“Can you at least let me put pants on before we continue this conversation?”

“Huh? - Oh” Usahara fights the urge to look down, “yeah yeah of course!” How long had Uramichi not had pants on?! Oops.

He slaps his hands to his burning face and turns around while the other puts his pants on.

“So, when and where?” the now fully dressed man asks.

Still turned around the blonde swallows his excitement and says, “We could just wait here and leave the door cracked, then wait till we hear someone coming.” he suggests awkwardly. (He didn’t think he’d get this far)

He hears the other take a deep breath and a low “Okay.”

“Really?!” He turns around finally and can hardly suppress his excitement. For finally getting rid of Capellini’s advances of course, definitely not for kissing Uramichi.

Uramichi motions him to come over to him and he walks over nervously.

“I have a plan.” The brunette says “stand over there till we hear someone.” pointing to the area beside the mirror.

‘a plan??’ suddenly Usahara is a bundle of nerves and can’t figure out how to hold his hands or look natural at all. The realization is dawning on him that he’s about to be kissing his senpai and purposely trying to get caught doing it.

He obediently stands still and watches Uramichi’s concentrated face as he listens for footsteps.

Soon enough they hear two people talking, making their way toward the dressing room they’re currently in and Uramichi springs into action.

“SHUT THE HELL UP USAHARA! I’m not gonna tell you again!” He yells, making Usahara jump. His heart nearly stops in his chest, what the hell had he done wrong?

Next thing he knows his head is violently hitting the wall behind him. Uramichi has him pinned, staring straight into his eyes. The blonde gasps from the sudden disorientation, but it dies out when chapped lips meet his own.

Uramichi... was kissing him. Hard. This is not how he expected this to go. Uramichi’s a better actor than he thought.

He’s overcome by the sensation of the other’s lips and stops thinking all together. He eagerly follows his lead, tilting his head to better the angle and hears a noise escape from the brunette’s lips. He grabs at Uramichi’s shirt and pulls him closer to deepen the kiss.

“No.”

“Fucking.”

“Way.”

Utano and Kumatani say is practiced unison, both mouths agape.

As soon as it started, it was over. Uramichi pushes away from him, releasing him from the wall. They turn to the onlookers like deer in headlights.

This was what they planned, but the embarrassment was very real.

“Usahara of all people?” Kumatani deadpans at Uramichi.

“Hey!” Usahara says, taking offense to the comment.

“Well, I can’t say I'm surprised.” he continues.

“It’s kinda like an ‘enemies to lovers’ troupe!” Utano joins in “I wish my love life could have a ‘they get married’ troupe. Or even a ‘he picks up his dirty fucking underwear from the middle of the Livingroom’ troupe. Why can’t I ever have thrilling romance?!” she’s tearing up again.

“Stop making it weird.” Uramichi says.

Usahara is hiding behind him, similarly to how they were during the stinkbug incident.

“You’re just jealous I got a boyfriend before you could even confess your undying love to Iketeru, Kumatani!” The blonde sticks his tongue out childishly at the other man.

“Is everyone here gay??” Utano questions, still wiping tears from her eyes.

“My sister’s gay. Oh, does anyone have the time?” Iketeru is summoned by the mention of his name and materializes out of thin air.

“SHE’S GAY TOO??” Utano seems to have been brought back to life at this new information.

“They were sucking face just a minute ago!” Kumatani tattles, thinking he’s getting back at Usahara by exposing them.

“Oh, I was wondering when Uramichi-san would find someone. Congratulations you-.”

“Richard Ryder.” Uramichi interrupts causing the singer oniisan to fall to the ground in a fit of laughter.

“haha oh my god! Hahaaha his name is- pftftd Dick hahshah Ryder!!! Dick Ryder! It's too much hahah!” laughs the man now rolling on the ground.

“As funny as this is, we came to tell Uramichi that Derekida wanted him on set.” Utano says, no longer interested in the situation.

“So much for my smoke break.” Uramichi groans as he walks out the door, stepping over a still-laughing Iketeru.

Then, Kikaku appears. "Sounds like you got a lot better than just a smoke break! Huh, Uramichi-kun?” he says with a sly smile. Uramichi felt his soul leave his body at the sudden apearance of the terrifying man.

“Why is everyone in this damn hallway?”

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Two days later, Usahara is sure everyone’s heard about the incident. The girls in the office, that all turned him down before, keep asking him questions and whispering when he walks by. Technically this is his coming out as well, since he’s never really expressed his attraction to men quite as openly as with women.

Capellini had been even more clingy since it has started to spread. She keeps trying to keep him away from Uramichi whenever possible. He’s gotten good at coming up with excuses and avoiding her tactics.

He overhears two of the girls, no doubt wanting him to hear, saying “I think I heard Capellini-chan was confronting Uramichi-san today. What’s she gonna do?”

Oh shit. He should probably check up on that. Uramichi might beat him up if she does anything to anger him.

He makes his way and rounds the corner, jumping back immediately when he sees them. He watches from behind the wall, just in case.

“Look, if you didn’t harass him every ten minutes, maybe you would have had a chance. All you did was freak him out.” Uramichi says to the choreographer, looking unimpressed as she blocks the door to the smoking room.

Uramichi was defending him? Something in his chest started to light up.

“Usahara-kun always enjoyed our time together! I don’t know what you're talking about! Harassment! I never! If anyone’s doing that, it’d be him! Once he’s done with you, he’ll move on to the next coworker. You’ve heard his reputation! No one’s safe now that he likes men!”

The light is gone and something painful replaces it. Is that how everyone views him? Is that how Uramichi views him?

“Shut up. What kind of twisted reality are you living in? Usahara didn’t want to hurt your feelings so he let you do what you wanted even when he was uncomfortable. He cares about people. All you care about is having a young, attractive guy to fawn over cause you’re too stubborn to find someone your own age. If you’re worried about reputations, put some thought into your own.” Uramichi says all this with a repulsed look on his face, leaving the older woman at a loss for words as he walks past her to the smoking room.

Why was that so hot?

He called him attractive too. Was Uramichi still playing a part? Cause that felt very real. Just as real as the kiss from the other day. They had yet to talk about it. Even though it was Usahara’s idea, Uramichi was the one to initiate it. He still hopes he didn’t cross any lines though.

To be honest, Usahara had been much more than okay with said kiss and had thought about it all night. The way their mouths fit together so perfectly was something he definitely didn’t expect to feel while kissing Uramichi. He’d been attracted to him since college, but wasn’t comfortable in his attraction to guys at that point. He cared too much about what people thought of him back then.

He holds his breath and enters the smoking room once the choreographer had walked away.

“What are you doing?” The brunette asks, chuckling at the face the other is making to keep from breathing the smoke.

The taller man walks over, presses his lips to Uramichi’s, then pulls away, and walks out. Once he’s out the door, he finally releases the air from his lungs.

Uramichi stands there with a dumbfounded look on his face, not sure what exactly just happened.

Once it fully settles in, he’s got a hand over his face covering the growing blush and dumb looking smile that he’s fighting against with all his might.

“Shit, why does that idiot keep doing this to me!?” He yells under his breath. Why does he want Usahara to come back and kiss him again and again?

He thinks he might know why.

Chapter Text

Against his own better judgment, Uramichi finds himself out for the usual drinks with his coworkers.

“You two better not be all lovey dovey or I might puke.” Utano says, slightly tipsy already so the threat isn’t so empty.

Kumatani hums in agreement next to her.

“We are not lovey dovey.” Uramichi feels the need to assert.

“You sure about that? You’ve been flirting since college.” Kumatani explains bitterly.

Before Uramichi can counter that 'completely false' statement, drunk Usahara is already interrupting.

“I wish! He was so hot back then and even hotter now! It’s not fair, I’ve only gotten to kiss my totally real, totally hot boyfriend once for real!”

Shit! Uramichi was supposed to be watching how much the blonde was drinking. Where did those extra cups come from??

“You’ve only kissed once? Hard to tell by the way ya’ll were going at it the other day.” Kumatani says with an eyebrow raised. His area on the table having a strikingly bare about of cups. This was a trap.

“Can you believe it?! Even though all this is just for-” The drunk man attempts to continue before having his mouth covered by Uramichi’s hand.

“You don’t know what you're saying and it’s none of their business, so please shut up Usahara.” The brunette says, trying to remedy the other’s fuck up.

He looks at the people sitting across from them; Utano seems uninterested as usual, but Kumatani has his eyebrows furrowed like he’s thinking about something a little too hard.

Uramichi feels teeth bite his hand. ‘Ew,’ he pulls his hand away and uncovers the other’s mouth. The blonde is looking at him like an angry child.

“Make me! I know exactly what I'm talking about!” he says.

Uramichi wants nothing more than to take him up on his offer, but the first time their coworkers saw them kissing was awkward enough.

He can’t help but think back to when Usahara came into the smoking room, kissed him, then left like nothing happened. Wouldn’t that have been their second kiss?

“You’re drunk. I'm not ‘making’ you do anything but going home to sleep this off.” He says, grabbing his coat and pulling the blonde from the booth.

-

After an eternity of getting the blonde out of the bar, into a taxi, and into his own apartment, Uramichi is fighting to stay awake.

This is the first time he’s been in Usahara’s apartment. He looked around; It was simple, but more colorful than Uramichi’s place. He had some clothes lying around and unopened mail on the kitchen counter, but other then that it looked fairly clean, which was surprising. He didn’t know why, but it kind of felt... lonely.

“So much for not getting drunk, you idiot. I'm sleeping on the couch. I can’t be bothered to go home.” Uramichi says from the kitchen.

“Sleepover!”

“Not a sleepover. Here, drink this.” He says handing the taller man a glass of water.

“M not even drunk. You’re crazy.” Usahara says.

“That’s something a drunk person would say.” he responds.

“How do we know YOU’RE not drunk Michi Mi-chi?” the man sitting cross-legged on the floor asks accusingly, pointing his finger at him.

Uramichi lightly smacks him in the back of the head. “Because I didn’t go on a rant about how hot my 'totally real' boyfriend is to our coworkers.”

“Touché, maybe I am the drunk one.” he says like he solved a mystery.

“Yes you are, now go to bed. I’m tired.” At least they had off work tomorrow.

Usahara nods then flops over onto the floor, grabbing a blanket from the couch. He’s going to sleep on the floor in his own home?

Uramichi can’t be bothered to question it and instead lays himself on the couch.

Despite how tired he felt, he struggled to get to sleep. He just kept thinking about how Usahara got even more drunk than usual, but instead of talking about girls, all he talked about was Uramichi. He's not smart enough to keep up the act while that drunk, so what does that mean? He's started unwrapping his own feelings for the blonde, but he doesn't want to think too much in to things and make it weird. He was helping a friend.

Why did that friend have to be so much more tolerable than anybody else?

Soon enough the sweet release of sleep crept in and he no longer had to think.

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Usahara wakes up to something touching his pounding head. He opens his eyes and upon wiping the sleep from them realizes that the thing touching him is a hand. He jumps up and throws out some ‘very threatening’ karate chops.

“Oh shit, it’s just Uramichi.” he whispers, happy the other man didn’t wake up to such a display.

"Hold on... Why is Uramichi on my couch? And why am i on the floor and not my bed?" Before his mind could make any presumptuous assumptions; the memories start flooding back.

Uramichi’s gonna kill him.

The man in question stirs in his sleep, causing the blonde to once again assume a defensive position, karate chops at the ready. When he confirms that the other was still sound asleep, he lets out a sigh of relief. His breath blows some of the hair resting on Uramichi’s face and he can’t help but stare at the peaceful expression on his face.

“You’re so pretty when you’re not trying to kill me.” he speaks in a low voice. Then, he adds “Well a little bit while you’re trying to kill me too, but you don’t have to know about that.”

Just then, Uramichi rolls over in his sleep, hand slapping Usahara in the face.

“Ow! I take it back! You’re a demon!” he yells.

“Huh? Shut up, m trying to sleep. Wait... Who’s a demon? And why are you in my apartment again, Usa?” The demon himself asks sleepily.

USA??!

“Well good morning to you too. This is my apartment. You want cereal?” He says from the kitchen, he ran away as fast as he could when the other awoke.

“Why am I- oh yeah.” Uramichi says. “You have coffee?”

“Just ran out.” he says sipping his ‘Together with Maman’ coffee mug.

“Bastard.”

“I would think you just drank pre workout every morning.” he teases.

“I would think you wouldn't be so smug after what you said last night.” He challenges, a small smile on his lips.

Usahara’s face turns 3 shades redder and he hands over the mug and resigns to taking himself up on the offer of cereal.

“Whatever. It’s not like they found out and I was playing the role.” he says, munching angrily. Uramichi rolls his eyes.

There’s a moment where neither man says anything, something unspoken in the air between them.

'Fuck it!' Uramichi thinks, and speaks the unspoken.

“I mean it wouldn’t hurt. Y'know, to practice more... So, it’s more believable.” the brunette says after a short silence, sipping his newly obtained coffee.

Chapter Text

Usahara chokes on his cereal. “Tghe gkissijng?!” His mouth is full of Lucky Charms. [translation: The kissing?!]

Uramichi looks like he might take it back, so he quickly swallows and continues, “No, you’re right, dude. It was awkward the first time because we aren’t comfortable with one another yet. Practicing will make it more natural.” he bullshits, hoping to get to kiss Uramichi again.

“Yeah.” the other man agrees, swallowing the last drop of coffee and looking at the blonde expectantly.

“Right now? C'mon the charms are gonna get soggy, gimme a sec, will ya.” Usahara reasons.

“You can’t be serious.” Uramichi groans

“Dead serious.”

While Usahara finishes his cereal, the shorter man surfs through the channels on the other’s TV. He was restless and didn’t know what else to do. Coincidentally, “Man Eating Salmon vs Bunny on a Moped” was having a marathon. He silently wonders if two movies can really count as a marathon, but settles in to watch nonetheless.

When Usahara is done with his cereal, he joins him on the couch.

“Okay, ready.” he says, turning to face him. “Do you really want this shit on in the background of us making out platonically?”

Uramichi covers his face with his hands, “Do you have to say it like that? You always have to make it weird.” he groans.

“Sorry sorry. Just two dudes practicing kissing each other to sell their fake relationship that’s being used to scare off their horny choreographer. Nothing weird about that.” he laughs, trying to hide his nervousness.

“Shut up and just kiss me already, idiot.” Uramichi says as he leans in.

Usahara jumps in and sets the pace for the kiss. Their lips melt together just as they did before, this time soft and easy. Uramichi struggles to match the tempo at first, but soon they’re in sync and all he feels is the pleasure of having Usahara’s lips against his own again.

Usahara’s mouth tastes like the sweet cereal he just ate. A stark contrast to the coffee left in his mouth from earlier. The two tastes blend together perfectly. He normally hates sweets, but he feels like he could taste it again and again without ever getting sick of it.

The small noises the blonde makes against his mouth cause electricity to spread throughout his body. He wants more. He wants more of Usahara, his idiot kouhai that endlessly annoyed him and never gave him peace.

“Usa” he says, his mind clouded from everything, but the man on his lips.

He moves his head to deepen the kiss and puts a hand in the other’s dyed hair and it’s softer than he’d imagined. The blonde gasps against his lips at the new sensation and he takes the opportunity to lick into the man’s mouth. Hands that were cupping his face start rubbing soft circles into his skin.

“Yeah?” The other breathes out heavily.

Their pace begins to speed up to something more eager, like neither of them can get enough. Usahara uses his height to deepen the kiss even more and push the other so his back is against the couch. Then he’s climbing onto Uramichi’s lap, not breaking the kiss once in the process.

The blonde starts pulling on strands of his hair and all he can feel is pure bliss. He unconsciously grabs Usahara’s ass and pulls him closer. No one he had ever kissed in the past had made him feel this way.

This is a serious problem. He’s not supposed to fall for the person he’s fake dating. But he can’t bring himself to stop.

Delirious, he asks “Why do you do this to me?” when they come up for air. They’re both breathing hard, foreheads pressed together.

“Do what?” Usahara’s playing with his hair and he thinks he might just die.

“YOU’LL NEVER DEFEAT ME, BUNNY ON A MOPED! I WILL ALWAYS BE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU!! FOR I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!!” a familiar talking salmon screams out of nowhere, absolutely obliterating the mood.

Usahara throws his head back and laughs uncontrollably. “HAHHA I told you so Michi Michi! This damn movie even has awful timing!” he says still laughing.

Embarrassed and annoyed, Uramichi pushes him off his lap and onto the ground with a thud.

“Shut up.”

The blonde can’t even respond he’s laughing so hard, holding his stomach and rolling around like a dog. Eventually he catches his breath and turns to smirk at the embarrassed man.

“Admit it! I’m an awesome kisser!”

“Tch.” is Uramichi’s response. No way is he giving him the win.

“Don’t be shy! You weren’t too bad yourself. Let’s platonically kiss again sometime.” he says with a wink.

“Maybe...” Uramichi starts, but it dies in his throat. His mind won't stop telling him how selfish he’s being. ‘You’re using him just like Capellini was.’ ‘You’re taking advantage of his situation and his kindness.’ ‘If he finds out how you feel, he’s going to hate you.’

“This can’t keep going.” he says. This is what’s fair for Usahara. He can’t keep doing this, pretending he feels nothing.

Usahara just blinks at him, still processing the sudden shift in the atmosphere.

“W-what? You wanna stop?” he asks slowly.

“I- yeah, it’s not a good idea to keep this up for too long. Capellini’s already started backing off. I’m sure she’s gotten the point.” he tries to reason.

“Oh... uh okay.”

“I’ve uh, got to head out now. See you.” Then he adds, “Drink lots of water for that hangover.” He grabs his stuff and heads to the door.

“Will do.” Usahara replies with a forced smile. Uramichi leaves and he’s left only in his apartment.

What just happened?

He thinks... we... should end it?

Did he do something wrong? Did he do something that made him uncomfortable? Uramichi had proposed the idea in the first place, so why’s he acting like this?

He was even starting to think that maybe...

“IDIOT! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!” He’s banging his fist against his head. “I never should have thought he might feel like that. Uramichi was just helping me out because he felt bad.”

“God, how can you be so stupid! Argh!” he yells at himself. “He probably thinks I'm using him. He thinks I just want to hook up with everything that breathes. He’s thinking all these terrible things...”

“And he’s probably right.” Tears are welling up in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Uramichi.” he says sliding down the door to the ground and holding his legs.

“I’m sorry im sorry im sorry im sorryimsorryimsorryimsorry-” he whispers over and over into his empty apartment, covering his ears.

Chapter Text

As Uramichi exits Usahara’s apartment, he feels like shit. He shouldn’t have said it like that. He basically broke his promise to help him and now he looks like a dick.

The worst feeling of all is the feeling that he may have hurt Usahara while trying to keep from doing just that. Usahara has been nothing but kind and helpful during this whole thing and he repays him by catching feelings for him then running away without a proper excuse. He’s a fucking idiot.

He goes to the gym and works out until he can barely walk anymore. He did triple the reps than his usual routine without proper rest periods in between. He needed to keep moving. To keep pushing. To stop thinking and just feel his own body burning, the same way his heart was feeling.

Working out is the only way Uramichi knows to help him get out pent up emotions and cope with his own shitty existence. Having something to work for, limits to surpass made him feel real. It made him feel like he had control over an aspect of his life and his person.

He didn’t want to be stuck in the same routine day in day out like an NPC in a video game. His work life already felt repetitive enough with the same idiotic, nonsensical songs played every shoot at least three times a day.

When he finally got home, he took a shower and fell right to sleep. He made sure to leave no time for his mind to think about Usahara or the fake relationship or anything at all. He wanted to sleep and to feel nothing instead of everything, so that’s what he did.

-

The next morning, he wakes up late due to not setting his alarm the night before. He rolls over to look at the clock, but is stopped by his screaming muscles.

His back, arms, legs, abs, neck, and even his ass hurt like hell. He groans. Yep, he overdid it.

He’s used to the morning pains from an intense workout, so even though it’s much worse than usual, he gets ready and heads off to work, already twenty minutes late.

On the way, he counts every dog he passes and tries to guess its name and political ideology. Not a fun game, but a game to keep his mind busy. It helps for about three minutes before he’s thinking of all the things Usahara is probably thinking about him right now.

‘Tiffany, probably smells bad and thinks all governments should be run by the church.’ he thinks passing a small white dog with a limp and brown shit under its eyes.

‘Uramichi is avoiding me because he hates gays and I make him uncomfortable.’ he imagines the blonde thinking, sitting alone in his shared dressing room because his best friend would rather hang out with someone else.

At the thought, Uramichi’s walking speeds up and he finds himself at the studio five minutes faster than usual.

“Good morning, Uramichi. Looks like you slept in today.” Kumatani says as he enters the building.

“Forgot to set my alarm. Sorry for any trouble.” he says in his usual monotonous voice.

“Derekida was asking, but you still have some time to get ready...” he assures then adds “You okay?” referring to the other man’s unnaturally slouched posture.

“Worked out too hard.” not necessarily a lie. “How did Usahara look walking in?”

Kumatani looks to the side and makes a face he can’t quite place.

“He seems... lost.” he explains after a second.

“Lost?” Uramichi questions.

“He’s been awkward and like dull. He’s going through the motions like he’s on auto piolet. He doesn’t seem here, really.” he says, obviously worried for his friend. Uramichi silently feels bad for the way his mind described him as a bad friend just a few moments ago.

“We... had a fight. I want to fix it, but... I don’t know how.” the brunette opens up a little.

Kumatani looks surprised by his honesty at first, but then takes a moment to think of useful advice for his senpai.

“Were you being honest with him during this ‘fight’?” he has a clue of what this could be about.

“I- not exactly, but I think I'm doing what’s best. I was only thinking of what would be fair to him, but now I don’t know what he’s thinking and I don’t know... anything.” he explains.

Kumatani is trying desperately to fill in the blanks and figure out the situation, so he can help his friends, but Uramichi could really stand to be less vague.

“If you aren’t honest with him, then how do you know what he thinks would be fair to him? Maybe if he could understand why you did what you did, you two would be able to figure out a solution, so no one gets hurt any more than they already have.”

As much as it was the last thing he wanted to hear and it hurt like hell, the other man was right and this all could be over as soon as he’s honest with Usahara about his feelings. He takes a deep breath.

“You know everything, don’t you?” he says to the black-haired man.

Kumatani smiles the smallest bit, “I can put the pieces together.” he says. “I really don’t think you have any reason to worry about Usahara’s reaction. He really cares about you and all of us. Just...” he pauses. “Just make him start acting like himself again.” He says looking to the ground with a pink tint on his cheeks.

-

Once they got on set, he found that everyone seemed to be down in the dumps. Utano was staring off into space drumming a pencil on her hand. Iketeru stood next to her and Uramichi could practically see the cartoonish storm cloud over his head, probably because he was standing in front of the rainy day set backdrop, but he thinks it'd still be visible without it. Even Derekida seemed to be having a less than stellar time, though that could be because of his tardiness.

He spied Usahara with Kumatani, neither one speaking. He had the Usao-kun costume on so it was impossible to see his expression or if he even looked at him.

“Alright let’s bring in the kids!” Eddy yells as he normally does, blissfully unaware of everyone’s sour moods.

During the shoot, they kept needing to reshoot parts over and over, since it seemed everyone’s minds were somewhere else. The feeling that something was missing although everyone being present was a weight on everyone's shoulders.

What they all began to realize, was that what they missed was Usahara. He stood right before them, but at the same time he seemed so far away. His usual complaints and hijinks left a hole in the team.

Uramichi stood before the kids with his fake smile and decided he'd power through until he could talk to him.

“Oniisan?” one of the children asks.

“Yes, Naomi-chan?” he responds politely.

“Why is everyone in a rush and messing up so much today? Are you feeling okay?” she sounds worried.

Uramichi thinks for a second. “You see, sometimes there are things that need to be said and sometimes those things are so important that you’re restless until you say them. Unfortunately, in the life of adults, there are many things to be said with very little time to say them.” he preaches to the small crowd of children.

“Why can’t you go say it now Uramichi Oniisan?” a different child asks.

“I’d very much like to, but as an adult I have responsibilities that are viewed as more important than what I want to do. It’s like how in order to get to dessert, you first have to eat all your vegetables. Once I eat my vegetables, I will be able to say those important things.” he answers.

There’s an ‘ohh’ of understanding from all the children. A couple tell him they hope his vegetables don’t taste too bad, so he can say what he needs to say soon.

Maybe it's his aching muscles, maybe it’s his already vulnerable heart, but hearing that makes him tear up the smallest bit. The tears are gone in a flash, but the warmth in his heart gets him through the rest of the shoot.

Whenever Usao-kun was out, there was a tense awkwardness at first, but it would slowly dissipate as the kids distracted them again.

-

“Usa,” he says once they finish for the day. He wishes he’d take off the damn costume, so he wasn’t talking to a pink rabbit.

“Don’t. Okay? It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m sorry for getting you involved.” he says, walking away.

“Please. Just wait a second.” he says

“I need to get going. Don’t worry, we’ll call off the bit.” he says and closes his dressing room door in the other man’s face.

At some point while Uramichi was changing to go home, Usahara slipped out and he missed his chance.

-

Usahara’s laying on his couch watching some obscure anime that was on when his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text from Uramichi.

Michi Michi<3: Can you come over? I really need to talk to you and it can’t wait another day.

He looks at it for a while, reading and rereading over and over. They’d talked about everything already. Uramichi wanted to stop pretending to date him and it was all his fault for coming on too strong and making him uncomfortable. He’d accepted it, cried about it. He really didn’t want to hear it from the man himself, having it on a constant loop in his head was more than enough.

Uramichi thinks he’s a gross pervert. End of story.

But something keeps bringing him back to read the text again. And again. Maybe he doesn’t think that. Maybe he feels the same. Maybe...

Usahara Tobikichi: ok.

Chapter Text

Once he’s standing in front of Uramichi’s door all he wants to do it run home and cry. He’s not ready for this. He’ll never be ready for this. Not with how much Uramichi means to him. He takes a deep breath.

‘I have to do this.’ he thinks. At the very least he needs to get Uramichi back as a friend. He doesn’t know what he’d do without the man in his life.

‘There’s still a chance... A chance that he’ll return his feelings. He never said what he wanted to talk about.’ his mind gives him hope. ‘But at the end of the day, I'll never know till I open this damn door.’

He grabs the doorknob, ‘Here goes nothing.’ and twists it to open the door.

“Shit, I need to knock first.” in his haste he had forgotten that people normally lock their apartment doors, so strangers didn’t just go waltzing in like he had just attempted to do. He lets out a soft laugh at his own ridiculousness and at the whole situation itself and suddenly feels a lot calmer.

*knock knock*

The door opens and he’s face to face with the man that normally made him so happy, but now gives him a nervous pit in his stomach.

“Hi, uh come in.” The older man says with a polite smile. A smile he’d never had at Usahara’s arrival in the past.

Usahara walks inside and Uramichi motions for him to sit on the couch. He remembers what happened last time they were on a couch together, but quickly pushes the thought away before he could start blushing.

There's an awkward feeling of anticipation in the quiet room. The silence makes him uncomfortable.

“So, what did-” he starts to say at the same time Uramichi begins to speak as well.

“I shouldn’t have-” They both pause before either can complete their statement. “Sorry, so uh...” Uramichi pauses.

“I really need to be honest with you. I handled this the worst way possible and ran away without telling you why.” he continues sincerely.

“No, I'm sorry I-” Usahara tries to say, feeling like he knows what's coming.

“Please don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Uramichi cuts in while grabbing his shoulders.

Usahara has no idea what’s happening and is startled by the sudden touch. “I- didn’t?” he questions. He’s missed Uramichi’s touch, even if it had only been about a day. He actually missed a lot about Uramichi: his face, his laugh, his smile, his abs, his compliments (even if it was often masked with an insult) his everything. He really just missed Uramichi.

“Of course you didn’t,” the missed man says, pulling him out of his own head. “You’d never mess everything up like I did, so please don’t apologize. You're- so kind and I just-”

“I’m not.” His eyes are looking to the side.

“But you are. You always cared. You always asked, but I never even tried. You’re just so amazing Usahara.” Uramichi looks at him like he hung the stars.

“Please just stop. I can’t take this. I forced you into this and made you uncomfortable.” he says, eyes welling up. He doesn’t deserve this praise. He’s dirty. Yeah, this started as a way to get rid of Capellini, but it became so much more. Early on he discovered his feelings for his senpai and just kept pushing it to see how far he could blur the line between friends and something more.

“I wanted to stop because I didn’t want it to be pretend anymore. I couldn’t keep kissing you while you still thought it was an act. It felt like a betrayal of your trust for my own selfish desires. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Usahara.” Uramichi says tears also welling up in his own eyes.

“You- what? Why would you want to kiss me for real?”

Uramichi cups his face with both hands. “Because you make me happy. Because you always complain and drive me crazy, but I never want you to stop. Because you’re so pretty I can’t take my eyes off you. Because you make me feel things that I've never felt with another person before. Because you’re Usahara.” he says.

“I can’t believe you!” the blonde interjects, pushing his hands away from his face. “You heard what Capellini said, didn’t you. Once I'm done with you, I'll throw you away. I’m just a pervert that doesn’t deserve someone to think so highly of them.”

“You were there.” he whispers in realization. “She’s wrong. I know you’d never use someone like that. You’re just too nice. So stupidly nice that you wouldn’t tell that horny bitch to fuck off. So nice that you made sure we set ground rules before starting this whole thing so I wouldn’t be uncomfortable. So nice that I fell in love with you and it pisses me off.” Uramichi has tears streaming down his face.

The light the moon is emitting through the window makes him look so absolutely beautiful, that Usahara almost misses everything he just said. He's sitting there staring into Uramichi’s shiny eyes while his brain is still processing the last statement.

Uramichi can see the light bulb go off in his head.

‘He’s in love with me. Uramichi loves me.’ The person he hadn’t stopped thinking about since college, loved him back and he was sitting right in front of him.

He leans in to press a soft kiss on the other man’s lips. “That’s our second real kiss.” he says smiling ear to ear.

“Second?” Uramichi tilts his head in confusion.

“Our first was in the smoking room.” he explains. “I couldn’t stop myself after you defended my honor.” he jokes.

“Oh, that’s what that was? I thought you were trying to give my lungs some clean air.” Uramichi laughs. “You looked so stupidly cute that you caught me off guard.” Oh, how he missed his laugh.

Usahara just laughed and leaned in to kiss him again. “I love your laugh. And your abs. And your stupid pretty face.”

Uramichi smiles. “Tobikichi, I love your stupid pretty face too and can’t imagine my life without it.”

The blonde covers his face with his hands, “Uramichiiii!!!! You can’t just say things like that!!!”

“You know what you asked me when we started this shit show? About sexualities.” Usahara hums. “I’ve been thinking about my answer. I’ve never wanted to be with anyone like this before, so I think I must just have a thing for annoying kouhais with shitty dyed hair.” he says ruffling the blonde’s hair.

“I hate you.”