Work Text:
He hasn’t been able to talk to her ever since. Hasn’t been able to thank her for what she had done for him and his family. He truly thought for a second, as he watched his childhood love and friend leap away and as he watched the airships go down; he truly thought that he lost her. Just like that. He had no time to fathom the whole thing while trying to survive and protect his family. He just went on and hang onto this malicious, overpowering wind until they finally felt safe.
From one second to the other, from the thought of losing her he suddenly hopped to the feeling of budding relief. She lived. He could live on with the knowledge that Lin was still breathing! That thought and how at ease and safe it made him feel also made him feel guilty. But soon another wave washed over him.
She was alive, however, she was utterly broken. Her radiant green eyes were now hollow, filled with sorrow. Hope lost and the future completely altered. Yet again, because of him.
That sudden relieved shock turned into anger. He was angry at her for throwing herself so selflessly to them. So selfishly. That anger turned then towards himself for not being able to do something even though he fully understood her decision and sacrifice. Then he was angry at everything. The whole world and destiny that has been brewing for centuries. He was so consumed by anger and hatred that it left no place for guilt for that short second.
Then their eyes met and the whirl changed again. His gray eyes reflected her own.
Then he sat down with his family. Enjoying a gift.
Surviving.
Ignoring.
He could not bear to watch her be so empty. He couldn’t even imagine how it could have felt.
At that time they thought that all would be well once they reached the South Pole. That his mother would solve this whole disaster. Safe the avatar and save Lin.
But instead there he stood in the corridor of his mother’s house, listening to the dead quiet. For a few seconds he could not move. His heavy chest prevented him from taking any steps. He was so determined a second ago, when he left his room to go to hers, to say something to her. To be the only one who she would allow close to finally comfort her.
He was scared to move; scared of so many things. From rejection, from his pure reaction and from seeing her after his mother broke to them that not even Lin could be mended.
He had to do it, however. It was only right that he did it. So alas, he brought himself to the small guest room.
He didn’t knock and even though she could not feel his footsteps anymore, he knew that she would recognize his presence either way. They would recognize each other anywhere from even just a tiny change in the air.
That is exactly why she didn’t flinch when he walked into her dark room only lit by the pale moonlight. She just laid there, curled up, turned towards the wall. Even though sorrow was seeping from her body, he could not stop himself to lament on her armorless curves. He forgot how graceful and timid she could look. That is what also beckoned him forward, not just the overwhelming sadness that filled the room to the brim.
Did she also look like this back when they…
He sat down behind her on the bed and touched her shoulder that remained bare to the world.
The feel of her skin warmed him.
It made him open his mouth.
“Lin…” he sighed.
He felt everything from that touch. This wave was even more overpowering than the ones he felt earlier. When her muscles tensed under his fingers to hold back her tears, he felt his chest get heavy and he felt a lump growing in his throat.
“Lin, I ah…” he started again but he had to swallow to make himself continue. “I will never be able to fully express how grateful I am for what you did for us. This will always be beyond anything.”
He gently squeezed her shoulder to gather more power. She slightly turned her face into her pillow, probably struggling again to lose her power over her tears. He laid his head on her shoulder.
“I cannot imagine how it feels and it is only thanks to you. But it pains me that this is how it ended and that I have to see you this way because of me.”
“Tenzin…” she tried, voice quivering.
“Know that I will always be here for you. Always! Just let me!” he continued gently, his hand continued to squeeze her reassuringly.
After his final word she began to cry. Her body shook under him as she let out her sadness. It urged him to hug her as best as he could, burying his face into her neck; into her soft curls. He held her strong and close to help her survive the waves of tears and to abide his own that she could definitely feel on her skin.
Everything was so overpowering and so confusing at that moment. Senses overruled and washed away. He could not think straight. When he tried, all his thoughts began to speak at once. So he let everything be Lin. That was the least he could do for her.
Sometime later, he gently nudged her onto her back so he could look at her and to see for himself if he could somewhat ease that immense pain.
She looked back up at him, her face wet from her flood of tears, eyes glistening and puffy, face and chin red from emotion and irritation. She could now see for herself how he truly felt and to truly prove her, he touched his forehead to hers. Their feelings synced and like seismic waves, they waved through their bodies.
Each wave shrank little by little, yet his thoughts remained a blurred echo.
Their noses touched in a familiar, gentle way. He smelled her, sensed her. With their eyes closed something old became anew. He barely realized that in a few seconds their lips also followed their old custom. His lips gently tested her wet, upper lip. Again and then again. He could not understand what spurred him on but he so wanted to comfort her, to give her something. He so yearned for her.
Their kisses were timid at first, just testing and feeling. He did not know who initiated it first, maybe they were both at fault, but then all of a sudden their kiss deepened. They desperately clung to each other as they strived to feel and re-explore. Her body was so close, pushed flush against his. She felt so familiar and grounding in his arms.
But they needed to breathe. He thought that maybe the waves would stop for that night, but instead another hit him again and he was not prepared. For a moment, a short moment, that at that time he didn’t know he would cherish in the coming days and weeks, there was a calm glint in her eyes. A glint that only he could lure to the surface. But just for a moment, because then an even greater sorrow and torment took her over which she decided to hide from him.
She pushed him off of her and turned back towards the wall.
“Lin…” he pleaded for whatever reason and reached for her.
“Get out!” she hissed and swatted his hand away, her voice still raspy and shaky.
“Lin, I’m sorry. I ah…please, let me…”
“I said get out!” she hissed with more force. She shrank more and hugged herself with adamant force.
He stared at her tense back for a few seconds then stood up with a sigh and left her room.
His head was buzzing with feelings and thoughts shouting at the same time but he could not understand a thing. So he just stood there again in the empty corridor, in the dead quiet, just staring at the wall in front of him. He could hear her whimpers from her room.
He let out one last sigh for her then started towards his room.