Work Text:
Sirius Black to Whore-antine: im starting an onlyfans
Remus Lupin: Please don’t.
James Potter: seconded
James Potter: i mean seconded to remus. not sirius. i am not also starting an onlyfans.
Remus Lupin: And I mean absolutely no disrespect to those who have OnlyFans accounts.
James Potter: just 100% disrespect to sirius specifically
Remus Lupin: Exactly
Peter Pettigrew: whats onlyfans
Sirius Black: the next landscape for me, the titan of tiktok and scion of social media, to conquer
James Potter: its like patreon but mostly used for sexy stuff
Peter Pettigrew: whats patreon
Remus Lupin: You studied computer science how do you not know these things??
James Potter: patreon is a subscription service where you pay to support a creator and in exchange get access to special content or like get it early or stuff like that
Sirius Black: patreon is the site jim supports (stalks) that redheaded youtuber on
Peter Pettigrew: ohhhh ya i no that 1
James Potter: i do not stalk her!! i just have a deep appreciation for her work!!!
Remus Lupin: No, I have a deep appreciation for her work. You just think she’s fit.
James Potter: i am a complex man. both things can be true.
Peter Pettigrew: wat does she make videos abt again?
Sirius Black: dont get him started
Remus Lupin: She talks mostly about politics. She got her start making videos about the alt-right, and has expanded from there.
James Potter: shes brilliant
James Potter: the mind of our generation
Peter Pettigrew: whas the alt rite?
Remus Lupin: Why don’t I just send you some of her videos?
Peter Pettigrew: ok
Sirius Black: watch out james! you might have competition for number 1 fan :O
James Potter: dont you have an onlyfans to make?
Sirius Black: ooh thx for the reminder! ill dedicate my first video 2 u ;)
---
@lilyevans tweeted: Looking to interview friends and family members of people who have been sucked into white supremacist groups for a new video! Drop me an email (address in my bio) if you would like to get more info! Xx
---
From: [email protected]
Hey. I saw your tweet about the video you are making and I’d like to get involved. You might not know who I am, but I have 11.5 million followers on TikTok (@padfoot). I mostly make comedic videos, but what you’re doing is really important to me. My whole family is full of Riddle supporters and white supremacists. Including my little brother. Would love to maybe collaborate on something with our 2 accounts and 2 platforms if you’d be down. Hoping to put my following to good use. Let me know your thoughts.
Cheers,
Sirius Black
---
Lily Evans to Girlbosses: so guess who just reached out to me looking to be involved in my upcoming video??
Marlene McKinnon: timothee chalamet
Lily Evans: no but i wish omg
Lily Evans: or wait maybe i don’t because that would mean he has lost family/friends to white supremacy
Dorcas Meadowes: how is he considered attractive?? i get that i am not attracted to men but that one just absolutely baffles me
Mary Macdonald: i feel shame for finding him attractive if that helps!
Lily Evans: same
Marlene McKinnon: anyway who reached out?
Lily Evans: oh right! sirius black!
Mary Macdonald: omg i love his tiktoks
Dorcas Meadowes: oh that’s cool. he’s super funny
Marlene McKinnon: his videos about being bisexual SPEAK TO MY SOUL (amongst other parts ;) )
Lily Evans: hm. ew. anyway
Lily Evans: he actually wants to do some kind of collab
Mary Macdonald: whoa really?? that’s so cool! he’s got a huge following!!!
Dorcas Meadowes: yeah that’s brill congrats!
Lily Evans: i know!! like this could be huge for my channel!!! help me reach new audiences and young people and whatnot
Marlene McKinnon: why is he interested in collabing?
Lily Evans: apparently he comes from a family of white supremacists so the issue is close to his heart
Mary Macdonald: aw :(
Marlene McKinnon: oh bummer. he’s talked about his shitty family in some tiktoks but has always played off the shitty things they did for laughs. the videos are dead funny
Dorcas Meadowes: he did make that one video one time about how humour helps with the ~trauma~
Lily Evans: but yeah i’m gonna respond and try to set up a meeting since i know he also lives in london! talk about what a potential collab could look like
Mary Macdonald: exciting!!!!
---
From: [email protected]
Hey!!
I would absolutely love to collab with you! And I totally know who you are! My friends and I all follow your account and love your videos!!
I'm r eally sorry to hear about your family. My former best friend is now a full-on neo-Nazi. It’s kinda what sparked my whole channel. So I understand, even if just in a small way.
Since we both live in London (sorry is it weird I know that?), we should meet up and discuss this further!
Super excited to work with you!
Best,
Lily Evans
---
Sirius Black to EuphoRemus: okay so i need to tell you something but u cant tell james yet
Remus Lupin to Z-List Influencer: Off to a bad start. But okay.
Sirius Black: im meeting up with lily evans on saturday
Remus Lupin: ?!?!?!
Remus Lupin: Are you seducing this poor woman?? Is this revenge for James leaving crumbs in the butter??
Sirius Black: lol no
Sirius Black: but not a bad idea… he knows how much i hate it when he does that… maybe he needs to learn his lesson once and for all…
Remus Lupin: Sirius.
Sirius Black: fine fine. i should separate business and pleasure anyway
Remus Lupin: Business?
Sirius Black: yeah so she tweeted that she was looking to interview people whose family/friends had become white supremacists and i was like “hm yep thats me!”
Sirius Black: but then i thought about it some more and was like… it would be cool to do some kind of collab with her. use both our platforms. stop the spread of hate. all that good stuff.
Sirius Black: so i reached out and proposed working together and she was super excited so we are meeting up to discuss
Remus Lupin: Wow! How exciting!!
Remus Lupin: Sorry for accusing you of trying to seduce her
Sirius Black: no it was a fair assumption. ill get my revenge another way though dont worry
Remus Lupin: Please limit causing any further structural damage to the flat.
Sirius Black: maybe
Remus Lupin: So why aren’t you telling James yet?
Sirius Black: oh because im gonna have him meet up with me at the end of the meeting and run into lily. gonna be dead funny. cant have that surprise being ruined.
Remus Lupin: And that isn’t your revenge??
Sirius Black: nah. hes gonna freak out but its gonna be a happy freak out. eventually. probably. my revenge needs to cause an unhappy freak out.
Sirius Black: maybe i should track down that skinless furby i bought…
Remus Lupin: You know the rule. If you bring a Furby into the flat, I get to shave your head.
Sirius Black: ugh fine. buzzkill.
---
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: hey! still on for tomorrow?
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: 4:00 at the costa by london bridge station?
Lily Evans: yep!
Sirius Black: ill be there! keep your eyes peeled for a dashingly handsome young man in a leather jacket. if u hear adoring screams, thats how u will know u have found me
Lily Evans: lollll see you then!!
---
Sirius Black to Love is Blind: hey meet me at that costa by the london bridge station at 4:30?
Sirius Black: we can grab a pint and then head to mum and dad’s from there
James Potter to The Black-chelor: okay!
James Potter: why that costa specifically?
Sirius Black: oh just having a meeting with another content creator about making some videos together. u know how it is.
James Potter: i mean i dont because my job is research and development not “content creation”
Sirius Black: lol nerd
James Potter: anyway see you this afternoon!
Sirius Black: ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
James Potter: why are you sending me the suspicious face??
Sirius Black: no reason. see you later jimmy xoxo
---
Remus Lupin to Uncut James: Hey you might want to put on a nice outfit before you head out.
James Potter to Lululemon: ??
James Potter: why lol
Remus Lupin: No reason. Just you know. Sirius. Always recording. Especially if he’s meeting with someone like him.
James Potter: true true
James Potter: his millions of followers have seen me in my jammies a fair bit
James Potter: would love to actually look nice in one of his tiktoks for once...
Remus Lupin: Exactly!
Remus Lupin: Anyway. See you at the pub later!
James Potter: see you!
---
Mary Macdonald to Girlbosses: have fun meeting with sirius black lily!!!
Dorcas Meadowes: oh yeah have a good meeting! let us know if he’s as funny in person
Lily Evans: thanks ladies!!
Marlene McKinnon: feel free to pass along my number ;)
Lily Evans: i almost certainly won’t but okay!
---
James Potter to TRAITOR: YOU KNEW DIDNT YOU
Remus Lupin to Uncut James: Why I have positively no idea what you could possibly be accusing me of!
James Potter: DONT TRY TO PLAY INNOCENT
James Potter: YOU KNEW SIRIUS WAS MEETING WITH LILY EVANS
James Potter: THATS WHY YOU TOLD ME TO CHANGE
Remus Lupin: And aren’t you glad that I told you to do so?
James Potter: I MEAN YES BUT THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT
James Potter: WANT TO KNOW LILY EVANS AKA MY DREAM GIRL’S FIRST IMPRESSION OF ME WAS??
Remus Lupin: Considering how freaked you seem… Do I?
James Potter: SO I GOT ONE OF THOSE FROZEN MANGO PASSION FRUIT DRINKS BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO CUT DOWN ON MY CAFFEINE INTAKE BUT AS I WALKED OVER TO MEET SIRIUS I DRANK IT TOO FAST AND HAD A MASSIVE BRAIN FREEZE
Remus Lupin: Uh oh
James Potter: SO WHILE IM TRYING TO DEAL WITH THIS, SIRIUS JUST LOOKS UP AT ME AND GOES “OH YOU’RE EARLY! JAMES, YOU KNOW THE YOUTUBER LILY EVANS RIGHT?”
James Potter: AND THE SHOCK OF WHAT SIRIUS SAID COMBINED WITH MY BRAIN FREEZE CAUSED ME TO SNORT FROZEN DRINK OUT OF MY NOSE ALL OVER MY SHIRT JUST AS LILY EVANS LOOKED UP AT ME
Remus Lupin: :o
Remus Lupin: Yikes…
James Potter: YIKES IS RIGHT!!! I AM NOW SHAMEFULLY HIDING IN THE BATHROOM TRYING TO CLEAN MY SHIRT AND FACE!!!
James Potter: SO YES A LITTLE WARNING WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
Remus Lupin: In my defence…
Remus Lupin: You did leave crumbs in the butter again and you know how much I hate that. Not as much as Sirius but still.
James Potter: THAT WASNT EVEN ME!!! IT WAS PETER THIS TIME!! I GOT MY OWN SEPARATE BUTTER!!!
Remus Lupin: Oh… well…. good luck with Lily Evans! Tell her what a big fan I am! See you in a bit!
James Potter: you are an absolute weasel and this betrayal shall not be forgotten
---
Sirius Black to Love is Blind: okay u can come out now lol
James Potter to The Black-chelor: is she gone??
Sirius Black: shes gone to the loo. perfect time for you to quit hiding and come try to salvage her opinion of u lol
James Potter: you are the worst brother i swear
James Potter: ugh fine though. but only because someone has been banging on the door to the men’s room for the past 10 minutes
---
Lily Evans to Girlbosses: so update on my meeting so far from the loo
Mary Macdonald: ooh yay!
Lily Evans: sirius is great. super funny. super passionate. we’ve got some great ideas.
Marlene McKinnon: as hot in person?
Lily Evans: yes but not my type and not the point
Lily Evans: at the start of the meeting, he mentioned his (adopted) brother would be joining us later. meeting up before they head to the pub after this
Lily Evans: which okay yeah sounded fine
Lily Evans: then 15 minutes ago, the hottest man i have ever seen started walking toward our table
Lily Evans: and he had one of those frozen fruit drinks costa makes
Lily Evans: and as he walked over, he took a massive sip of it
Dorcas Meadowes: rookie mistake
Lily Evans: and as he’s having some kind of cold-induced aneurysm, sirius turned to him as he reached the table and introduced him to me as his brother
Lily Evans: and then about half a second later, he snorted his frozen drink all over his shirt
Marlene McKinnon: LOL
Lily Evans: he then shouted something like an apology and ran to the loo
Lily Evans: and want to know the worst part of all this?
Dorcas Meadowes: what?
Lily Evans: i’m still lowkey madly in love with him at first sight
Marlene McKinnon: lol he must be hot if youre still into him after that
Lily Evans: OH WAIT HE’S BEEN IN A BUNCH OF SIRIUS’S VIDEOS
Mary Macdonald: omg which one is he??
Lily Evans: he’s the one sirius always wakes up in the middle of the night
Lily Evans: i dont think i’ve seen a clear video of him before because sirius always runs away after waking him up
Dorcas Meadowes: the one with the pokemon jammies?
Lily Evans: yes! him!
Marlene McKinnon: lol you would be into him
Lily Evans: hm can’t tell if that was an insult and don’t have time to figure it out because i need to return to the table
Lily Evans: but anyway, wish me luck! fingers crossed he emerges from the bathroom at some point!
Mary Macdonald: you got this!!!
Marlene McKinnon: offer to help him clean up by licking the frozen drink off of his chest. show off your impressive tongue dexterity
Dorcas Meadowes: please don’t
Lily Evans: wasn’t going to!
---
Sirius Black to EuphoRemus: can i tell u something crazy
Remus Lupin to Z-List Influencer: If it is about how thoroughly you have traumatised James, I have already heard.
Sirius Black: no no not that
Sirius Black: although it was dead funny. u missed out big time. extremely bummed i wasnt recording
Remus Lupin: Sirius.
Sirius Black: anyway so james totally humiliated himself right?
Remus Lupin: Yes that seems like what happened.
Sirius Black: but like…. i think lily is still maybe into him anyway
Remus Lupin: Really??
Sirius Black: yeh like she blushed when it happened and stared at him and then kept trying to subtly see if he was coming back from the loo
Sirius Black: shes gone to the loo herself now and james is getting a new drink and trying to pretend it never happened
Remus Lupin: He knows that won’t work right?
Sirius Black: who knows. brain freeze might have caused permanent damage
Sirius Black: oh shes coming back now
Sirius Black: shes paused midway to the table to stare at him waiting for his drink
Sirius Black: omg he looked over at her and she tripped in her haste to look like she was just walking back to the table and he squeezed the sugar sachet he was holding way too hard and it exploded all over his face
Sirius Black: i think theyre soulmates???
Remus Lupin: Honestly…. it sounds possible at this point.
---
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: was lovely to meet you!! so, so excited about this project!!
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: yes was lots of fun!! very excited as well
Sirius Black: sorry about my brother being such a spaz lol
Lily Evans: oh no it was totally fine!!!! he was super nice!!!
Sirius Black: mkay long as he didnt scare you off lol
Lily Evans: no not at all!! :)
Sirius Black: well its good that he didnt actually because i think i want to rope him into this project. i think his perspective would be super valuable. different backgrounds and all that
Lily Evans: totally agree!!! yes happy to have him join!!!!
Sirius Black: great! ill let him know
---
Sirius Black to Love is Blind: good news! ur working on the project with lily and i
James Potter to The Black-chelor: WHAT
James Potter: have i not embarassed myself enough in front of my dream woman???
Sirius Black: well no because i didnt manage to record any of your truly spectacular first meeting
Sirius Black: but also like your perspective would be valued as a non-white person
Sirius Black: (but mainly bcuz i wanna see how this thing with u and evans plays out lol)
James Potter: ughhhhh
James Potter: fine but you had better be roping remus in as a jewish person
Sirius Black: lol is introducing her to the whole marauders package this fast a good idea?
James Potter: i mean peter isnt involved yet. also remus is objectively the easiest one of us to handle so he will only help
Sirius Black: think we might want to leave pete out of this one anyway. his crippling fear of the camera will only hinder us
James Potter: you know that you gave him that fear right?? like you have trained him in some kind of sick pavlovian way to fear cameras
Sirius Black: really?
Sirius Black: lol oops
Sirius Black: okay ill start giving him little bits of cheese every time i have my camera out to train him the opposite way
James Potter: does it work that way??
Sirius Black: not sure but excited to find out!
---
Marlene McKinnon to Red (Taylor’s Version): so when are you meeting up with sirius again?
Lily Evans to Bob Marley: today at 3! im going over to his flat to start planning!
Marlene McKinnon: does he live alone?
Lily Evans: please control your hormones
Lily Evans: and no he does not he lives with james (the hot brother) and two of their friends
Marlene McKinnon: i wasn’t asking for my own sexy/nefarious purposes!
Marlene McKinnon: just looking out for you and your safety <3
Lily Evans: aw thanks marls <3
Marlene McKinnon: but like… i can’t deny that it’s valuable information
Lily Evans: thanks revoked </3
---
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: hey uh just checking
Sirius Black: do you like baked goods
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: what kind of baked goods?
Sirius Black: any kind
Sirius Black: all kinds
Lily Evans: lol yes i like most baked goods
Lily Evans: are you much of a baker?
Sirius Black: absolutely not
Sirius Black: my brother on the other hand…
Lily Evans: haha fab can’t wait <3
Lily Evans: i’ll be at yours in about 20!
Sirius Black: see u soon!
---
Sirius Black to Love is Blind: okay she likes most baked goods
Sirius Black: and considering you have baked like 10 different types i am sure she will like at least some of them
James Potter to The Black-chelor: i cant just have all of them out when she comes though!!
James Potter: ill look like some kind of nutter!!
James Potter: (also im now up to 12 different types but who is counting not me lol!!!!!)
Sirius Black: yeh… its the baked goods that will make you seem like a nutter…
James Potter: why cant you be as supportive as remus
Sirius Black: because remus isnt actually being supportive he just wants you to keep baking
James Potter: not true! he is my most supportive friend!
---
James Potter to Lululemon: you actually think me doing so much baking is a good idea right? like youre not just using me for my goodies?
Remus Lupin to Uncut James: First off, that is a very suggestive way of saying that.
Remus Lupin: And of course not! I think that this is a genuinely brilliant idea! What girl wouldn’t find being greeted with a dozen different treats endearing?
James Potter: are you being sarcastic right now
James Potter: you know im terrible at picking up on your sarcasm via text
Remus Lupin: I would never be sarcastic to you, my dearest friend!
Remus Lupin: Now… have you made any banana bread?
James Potter: SIRIUS WAS RIGHT
---
James Potter to Whore-antine: i hate everyone in this flat except pete
Sirius Black: </3
Remus Lupin: I can live with that as long as you make some banana bread.
Remus Lupin: Not for me, of course… for Lily.
James Potter: both of you traitors can shut up
James Potter: pete, is there anything in particular that you are in the mood for?
Peter Pettigrew: i dont no wats going on
Peter Pettigrew: but im not rlly in the mood 4 anything rite now! i have a huge wheel of camembert with me in my room rn. its all i could ever rlly want <3
Sirius Black: truly living your best life pete
James Potter: DEAR GOD DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOOR AND LET THAT SMELL OUT
Peter Pettigrew: but what if i want to meet lily 2??
Remus Lupin: Respectfully and unfortunately, I have to agree with James on this one. Please do not subject the whole flat to your cheese stink.
Sirius Black: remember when we all had covid but only found out because we realised pete was eating cheese in the living room and none of us had noticed? good times
James Potter: pete… please… this is my dream girl
Peter Pettigrew: fine. all this cheese makes me sleepy anyway
Sirius Black: legend
Sirius Black: oh btw lily should be here in approx like 5 minutes
Remus Lupin: James, that shriek you just let out was horrifying.
---
Mary Macdonald to Girlbosses: so lily how is it going??
Lily Evans: going really well! i was greeted with like 10 different types of cakes and biscuits and whatnot
Dorcas Meadowes: black really knows how to treat a lady
Lily Evans: actually it was james who made them!
Marlene McKinnon: a man who bakes <3 <3 <3
Lily Evans: (i know <3)
Lily Evans: anyway the meeting itself is also going really well
Lily Evans: we’ve decided that we would do one long video for my channel, and then a series of promos and snippets for his tiktok account
Dorcas Meadowes: sounds like a solid plan
Lily Evans: yeah it’s all about like maximising viewership for both of us but also making sure that the most important bits are on tiktok to increase the viral potential of vital information
Mary Macdonald: don’t fully understand what that means but yay!!!
Lily Evans: i think we are gonna film and edit this all over the next few days so we can hopefully get it posted on sunday to catch the end of the weekend peak in viewership
Marlene McKinnon: it’s so sexy when you talk youtube to us <3
Lily Evans: :P
---
Sirius Black to Whore-antine: lily will be here again in 10 look alive
James Potter: AH
James Potter: okay okay this is fine
James Potter: pete are you still in your room?
Peter Pettigrew: no im at a garlic festivall in the isle of wight. ill be here 4 the next 3 dayz
Remus Lupin: And you didn’t tell us you were going away??
Peter Pettigrew: i told sirius 2 tell u
Sirius Black: in my defence… i did think he was joking
Sirius Black: btw james can you let lily in shes downstairs
James Potter: IT HAS ONLY BEEN 3 MINUTES
Sirius Black: oops
---
Marlene McKinnon to Girlbosses: you good lils? have barely heard from you the past few days
Lily Evans: hi yes sorry i am very good!
Lily Evans: just crazy busy with this project
Lily Evans: but it has been so fun
Lily Evans: we finished filming yesterday so now we are just editing
Mary Macdonald: how exciting!!!
Lily Evans: lowkey i’m pretty sure this is gonna be my best video ever
Dorcas Meadowes: we shall celebrate when you return to us <3
Marlene McKinnon: omg yes!! pizza and prosecco night?
Lily Evans: that sounds amazing <3
---
Lily Evans to Sirius: okay im hitting post now!!!
Sirius Black to Lily: godspeed
Sirius Black: am posting the trailer to my tiktok now
Lily Evans: it’s officially up!! ahh!!!
---
@lilyevans tweeted: Thank you all so much for the love and support you have shown to my collab with @padfoot over the past day! Being the top trending video on Youtube is a dream come true. Couldn’t have done it without all of you who have supported me Xx
@padfoot replied to @lilyevans: 1 like and I will post a behind the scenes video on my TikTok
♥ @padfoot and 17,805 others liked this Tweet.
---
Lily Evans to Sirius: omg how is the behind the scenes video ALSO already trending on tiktok rn??? it was basically just posted!! i haven’t even watched it yet!
Sirius Black to Lily: because we r dead funny
Sirius Black: duh
Sirius Black: and also maybe lowkey because it is mostly a montage of clips of you and james flirting and now our followers ship it
Lily Evans: what
Sirius Black: they cant decide between #jily or #lames as ur ship name
Lily Evans: ?!?!
Sirius Black: personally im team #lames
Lily Evans: okay this is a lot lol
Sirius Black: ah sorry i should have asked first before i posted it
Sirius Black: if you dont like james like that its genuinely nbd
Sirius Black: i was just messing around
Lily Evans: i mean like… i don’t not like him like that
Sirius Black: KNEW IT
Lily Evans: but does this make james uncomfy?? i at least signed up to the spotlight
Lily Evans: (kind of) (like obviously having a youtube following isn’t the same as a massive spotlight but still you know what i mean)
Sirius Black: yes i 100% know what you mean
Lily Evans: ah it’s so nice to have someone else who understands lol
Sirius Black: and dont worry james isnt uncomfy in the slightest lol
Sirius Black: ive put way more embarrassing stuff on the internet involving him
Sirius Black: >:)
---
Sirius Black to Love is Blind: wake up bitch youre trending
James Potter to The Black-chelor: ?????
Sirius Black: since you wouldnt quit flirting with evans during filming, there are lots of #totesadorbs clips of the two of you
Sirius Black: that have been conveniently edited together into a behind the scenes video that may or may not have been posted on my tiktok
Sirius Black: ur welcome
James Potter: what?????
Sirius Black: welcome to the #lames train
---
Sirius Black to Whore-antine: everyone congratulate jimothy on his new gf
Remus Lupin: Congrats James!
James Potter: WHAT IS GOING ON
Peter Pettigrew: u hav a gf?????
James Potter: NO
Remus Lupin: Aw no need to be shy! We are all #jily shippers here!
James Potter: et tu moony?
Remus Lupin: I tease out of love and support <3
Sirius Black: i dont
Sirius Black: i tease out of a defence mechanism to make jokes out of everything that way nothing can hurt me.
Sirius Black: and also because ive monitised teasing you
Sirius Black: <3
James Potter: why did you post the video???
Sirius Black: you and lily r obviously into each other and neither of you did anything about it
Sirius Black: so i took fate into my own hands
Sirius Black: and also for the views. always for the views
James Potter: what do i do????
Remus Lupin: You could text Lily?
James Potter: ahh thats scary though idk
Sirius Black: or i could post screenshots of our texts of you completely fangirling over her
James Potter: okay so what’s her number?
---
James Potter to Lily Evans (!): hey this is james! just wanted to let you know that it was really cool getting to work with you this past week
James Potter: like beyond the fact that it was super fun, i really do think all the work youre doing is incredibly important
Lily Evans to James: aw thank you for hosting me!! i had so much fun as well!
Lily Evans: and thank you so much for your comment. it means a lot <3
Lily Evans: it’s just crazy that this whole thing started from one of the worst things in my life and has just snowballed from that into my entire career
James Potter: well if you ever need anyone to talk to about it, im here
James Potter: i mean like im sure you have tons of friends to talk to about stuff as well
James Potter: i didnt mean like you dont already have people
James Potter: please dont think i was implying you have no friends
Lily Evans: hahaha no worries that was not what i thought at all
Lily Evans: that’s very sweet thank you <3
Lily Evans: it’s been years now so it deffo doesn’t affect me the same way it used to
Lily Evans: wanna know one of the funny things about the whole situation though?
James Potter: ofc
Lily Evans: the former best friend of mine who is pretty much the entire reason i got into all this also has his own youtube channel
Lily Evans: and he used to be like kinda big in the neo-Nazi far-right circles.
Lily Evans: he never really adjusted to social media or promoted his channel or anything so it eventually just kinda died down. but he did have decent reach at one point
Lily Evans: but like… even my lowest viewed videos have many multiples more views than his highest viewed videos hahaha
James Potter: lolllll get wreckt
James Potter: whats his channel? i wanna see the kind of bs he posts
James Potter: i mean only tell me if you want like ofc you can keep it private
Lily Evans: haha i appreciate your thoughtfulness but im happy to share
Lily Evans: his youtube is “halfbloodprince”
James Potter: lol bold name choice
Lily Evans: haha i know
Lily Evans: he claims he is descended from the swiss royal family
Lily Evans: but switzerland has never has a monarchy so like….. make it make sense lol
James Potter: holy shit
Lily Evans: ?
James Potter: your best friend was SEVERUS SNAPE?!?!!?
Lily Evans: uh yeah do you recognise him?
James Potter: UH YEAH I RECOGNISE HIM
James Potter: we went to secondary school with him!!!!
James Potter: he was the absolute bane of our existence
Lily Evans: holy shit
Lily Evans: in sixth form he always talked about how awful his previous school was and how he was bullied
James Potter: HE WAS BULLIED?!?!?! HIM?!?!
James Potter: he literally made it his life’s mission to ruin our lives
James Potter: like we would prank him and mess with him sometimes (how could you not)
James Potter: but he straight up like tried to get us kicked out multiple times
James Potter: and he talked about how he was so much better than us because he had a pure bloodline (whatever the fuck that means) and made so many racist and antisemitic comments to us
Lily Evans: holy shit holy shit
James Potter: i cant believe you know him!! that you were friends with him!!
Lily Evans: it was obviously a mistake. i clearly regret it.
James Potter: NO WAIT SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN LIKE I WAS ACCUSING YOU OF ANYTHING
James Potter: just more like ‘holy shit what a small world i cant believe both of our lives were nearly ruined by the same prick’
James Potter: fuck i feel like i am terrible at communicating with you
James Potter: im just nervous. sorry if im coming across as a complete tosser
Lily Evans: aw omg no worries
Lily Evans: why are you nervous??
James Potter: i just like really respect you a lot and think youre really cool and really smart and really pretty and just generally a really impressive person
Lily Evans: aww that’s so sweet thank you <3
Lily Evans: you didn’t seem nervous when we were hanging out?
James Potter: i know it’s just something about communicating via texting. too much time to overthink and not enough ways to inject tone into messages lol
Lily Evans: well i can think of a solution
James Potter: ?
Lily Evans: wanna hang out in person again sometime soon?
James Potter: !
James Potter: !!
James Potter: yes of course!!!!
James Potter: should i check when sirius is free?
Lily Evans: you could
Lily Evans: or i mean like
Lily Evans: you also don’t have to if you don’t want to
James Potter: okay so like
James Potter: is this me being really awful at text communication and being completely unable to understand what youre really saying
James Potter: or like…... are you actually wanting to hang out just the two of us
Lily Evans: i would like to hang out just the two of us :)
Lily Evans: if that’s okay with you! totally fine if not
---
Sirius Black created a new group: JESUS CHRIST JUST BONE ALREADY
Sirius Black added Lily Evans and James Potter to JESUS CHRIST JUST BONE ALREADY
Sirius Black: i cant handle reading the messages between you 2 anymore
Sirius Black: how are you both so bad about asking each other out
Sirius Black: please for the love of god just go on a date
Lily Evans: what the fuck is going on
Sirius Black: i have james’s icloud password and use it to mess with him. yes it is an invasion of his privacy. no i am not going to stop. any other questions?
James Potter: SIRIUS I AM LITERALLY GOING TO MURDER YOU
Lily Evans: i'll join! it can be our first date!
James Potter: wait do you actually want to go on a date with me?
James Potter: please dont feel like you have to because of captain dickhead in the chat
Sirius Black: 1st – thats captain richardhead to you
Sirius Black: and 2nd – YES SHE VERY CLEARLY DOES. YOU BOTH WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH EACH OTHER. PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
Lily Evans: i mean… captain dickhead isn’t wrong. i would very much like to go on a date with you
James Potter: omg okay
James Potter: i would very much like to go on a date with you too
Sirius Black: FUCKING FINALLY
---
James Potter to Whore-antine: how early is too early to arrive at lilys flat to walk her to dinner?
Remus Lupin: What time is your reservation?
James Potter: 7:30
Remus Lupin: 2 hours is 100% too early.
Sirius Black: not too late to take me up on my offer of letting me vlog it
James Potter: absolutely not
Sirius Black: you should really think of your fans. bit selfish of you
Remus Lupin: I think he’ll live.
Sirius Black: i mean honestly you kinda do need me there for your own good
James Potter: in what world would your presence on my first date with my dream girl be for my own good??
Sirius Black: well… you never know when brain freeze could strike again
James Potter: ill take my chances
---
Marlene McKinnon to Girlbosses: so??? how was the date????
Lily Evans: omg omg so good
Lily Evans: i proper fancy him
Mary Macdonald: aww!!!!!
Dorcas Meadowes: cuties <3
Mary Macdonald: what did you do?
Lily Evans: he took me to this super nice thai place
Lily Evans: food was absolutely to die for
Lily Evans: we were there for hours just chatting and sharing food
Marlene McKinnon: and did the date end there??
Lily Evans: he maybe… possibly… came back to mine and spent the night
Marlene McKinnon: THAT’S MY GIRL
Dorcas Meadowes: and was that part of the evening also satisfactory? ;)
Lily Evans: a lady never kisses and tells
Lily Evans: (but omg yes)
Mary Macdonald: !!!!
Lily Evans: we are going on our second date tomorrow!!
Marlene McKinnon: ooh just can’t get enough??
Lily Evans: ;)
---
James Potter to Lily <3: 3 days without you is way too long… just saying <3
Lily Evans to James <3: well why don’t you come over and fix that? ;)
Lily Evans: i’m just finishing editing a video but then i am all yours ;)
James Potter: on my way ;)
---
Lily Evans to Girls Who Get It: okay booked the pub table for 7
Lily Evans: james, sirius and remus are coming
Lily Evans: their fourth flatmate, peter, is apparently still recovering from some kind of garlic incident
Dorcas Meadowes: how concerning
Dorcas Meadowes: i'm coming from work so might be a few late but very excited to finally meet the boy! it's been long enough!
Mary Macdonald: so excited!!!
Marlene McKinnon: i might also be late
Marlene McKinnon: i need to pick up the poster i had printed of that picture of you during freshers week
Lily Evans: MARLENE
Marlene McKinnon: jk of course <3
Marlene McKinnon: the normal size version on my phone should be fine ;)
---
Sirius Black to Malewives: jim wya
James Potter: leaving lilys now
Sirius Black: ugh again?? what is this like your third date this week??
James Potter: fourth but who’s counting?
Remus Lupin: You, evidently.
Sirius Black: you have been attached at the hip since we made the video
James Potter: i know isnt it amazing <3
Peter Pettigrew: am i aloud 2 meet her yet
James Potter: have you successfully completed a 24-hour garlic detox?
Peter Pettigrew: mayb
Remus Lupin: He absolutely has not. His breath still reeks.
Peter Pettigrew: but sirius told me tht garlic is an afrodisiac
Sirius Black: and it is
Sirius Black: dont listen to james
Sirius Black: hes just afraid that the raw animal magnetism that you are now exuding would instantly cause lily to fall for you
Remus Lupin: The only thing Peter is currently exuding is pure vampire repellant.
Sirius Black: i mean… that could have its uses as well
Sirius Black: how do we know lily isnt a vampire?? she doesnt like the sun very much
Remus Lupin: She’s a ginger?? That's completely normal??
James Potter: please stop calling my girlfriend a vampire
Sirius Black: GIRLFRIEND??
Remus Lupin: ^^
James Potter: ahhhh
James Potter: pretend i didnt say that
James Potter: we havent like… decided on anything officially
Sirius Black: i can fix that
---
Sirius Black changed the name of the group ‘JESUS CHRIST JUST BONE ALREADY’ to ‘JESUS CHRIST JUST BE OFFICIAL ALREADY’
James Potter: i hate you so much
Lily Evans: hm is sirius trying to tell us something? i can’t tell
Sirius Black: sublety is one of my strengths
Sirius Black: just like matchmaking
Sirius Black: hint hint
James Potter: this is so not how i wanted this to go
James Potter: but can i come over lils? evidently we need to have a talk
Lily Evans: of course <3
Sirius Black: can i vlog this conversation at least since you didnt let me vlog your first date
Lily Evans: of course not <3
Sirius Black: no one has suffered as i suffer
---
@lilyevans tweeted: After an incredible past few weeks, I think it is finally time to announce… #Jily confirmed <3
@padfoot replied to @lilyevans: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU STOLE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT FROM ME
@lilyevans replied to @padfoot: What if I agree to let you make a storytime of how it happened?
@padfoot replied to @lilyevans: All is forgiven #Jily4life
@jamespotter replied to @padfoot: Okay now leave my girlfriend alone. It’s date night <3 @lilyevans
@lilyevans replied to @jamespotter: See you soon <3
@padfoot replied to @lilyevans and @jamespotter: 1 like and I will vlog myself crashing their date
♥ @marlenemckinnon and 4,564 others liked this Tweet.
@lilyevans replied to @padfoot: 1 like and I will vlog myself calling the police to report @padfoot for trespassing
♥ @jamespotter, @remuslupin and 32,187 others liked this Tweet.