Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Excuse me, if I could have everyone's attention. Just a moment.” Charming’s voice filled the room, as Regina watched the scene between the family unfold. What had originally gotten her attention was the way Henry had hugged Emma, and she had figured that Emma had decided to stay by now. The smile on her face had been caused by the one on her son’s face - so happy about the fact that his Ma was gonna stay, that she couldn’t help but feel happy with him. Sure she had had her issues when it came to Emma, but that was a long time ago, and Regina knew that it was best for Henry - and most of the other people too - if Emma stayed.

“This coronation ceremony is something we’ve looked forward to for a long time. The arrival of our new son has been a cause of great joy for our family, and we hope you can share in it as we name him for a hero. Someone who not everyone of us got to meet, yet he lives in all of us. Someone who we loved and he loved back.” 

Someone had to tell the charmings that they should come to the point, the brunette thought to herself. Whatever name they had come up with, wouldn’t be as special as they pretended it was anyway. Okay maybe she was a little excited. She loved children after all, and somehow, deep down, she was incredibly happy for Snow. Sure, her former step-daughter's pregnancy came with other emotions, too, but she was happy for her nonetheless.
Then Snow spoke up, and Regina couldn't suppress the tiny smile that graced her lips, as she looked at her beaming stepdaughter. It had been a long time where she wasn’t happy. Too long. And now she looked as if everything was alright, everything was fine - as if she was happy.  

“People of Storybrooke, it is our great joy to introduce you to our son, Prince…” she paused purposely, and Regina shook her head and rolled her eyes slightly, but the smile never left her face, as she watched and waited patiently for Snow to actually come to the name.
Then suddenly the smile wiped away and all the blood rushed to her feet as she heard the loud, proudly spoken “Leopold.” fall from Snow's lips. She choked back the gasp that had nearly left her lips. And as everyone got up to congratulate the pair, she stayed seated for a few seconds, trying to calm her ragged breathing, yet failing pretty hideously. As quietly as she could manage she slipped out of the diner, stumbling towards one of the tables and catching herself just moments before falling down. 

Calm down. 1-2-3-4.

She had read somewhere that counting to four and back would help against hyperventilating, but it didn’t seem to do much good for her at that moment. 

“Regina, are you okay?” Emma’s voice came from behind, but it barely registered in the brunette’s mind.

She just nodded way too quickly, way too often, as her whole body was still supported by her hands clinging to the table as if she would die if she’d let go. 

Emma quickly stood behind her, raising her hands to help her stand, but Regina shook her head anxiously, and walked away from Emma's hands almost frantically. 

“Just go inside, I’m fine.” Regina’s voice was a weird mix between whisper and scream, and Emma’s eyes grew wide in fear as she watched the older, usually so controlled woman, turn absolutely free.
Emma looked as if she had absolutely no idea how to act in a situation like this.

“Regina,” Emma contradicted. “Calm down.”

Even in her lost state, Emma seemed to realize just how not helpful this last answer was, as she shook her head. Her eyes stayed glued to the other woman, fearful and lost.

Regina didn’t answer, she just pointed to the door again trying to convince Emma to go, and then she let herself fall to one of the chairs. 

Her whole body was covered in sweat by now, the whole world moved weirdly around her, and Regina wasn’t able to see if Emma actually had left anymore. Her vision got blurry and blurier and blurier. Her ears were filled by a loud, high-pitched beeping that seemed to not stop. She felt a little pain in her forehead, but she didn’t know where it came from or why.

One-Two-Thr… she tried again, but then someone or something seemed to have touched her, and even though she couldn't figure out who, or where or when, there was a sharp pain send through her whole body, as she tried to somehow shake off whatever it was, but the touch stayed firmly, continuing to send sharp strains of pain through all of her body. Her body shook violently under the pain, as scenes of her former life flashed through her mind, and she wasn’t even sure if the pain maybe just was a memory.

There was someone talking, somewhere in her head, but Regina didn’t hear, didn’t understand. It sounded more as if it was coming from a different world, just barely loud enough to hear. 

One-Two-Three-Four-Three-Two… she started again, now realizing that her head was resting on the table in front of her, and the touch she had felt was Emma’s hand firmly resting on her shoulder, and now that Regina knew, she quickly took the hand, and shoved it off of her. 

“Regina!” Emma must have called her a few times, because her breathing was quicker than usual too, almost as if she had run a marathon. 

“Yeah?” She just answered, realizing how stupid that was just as it had slipped out of her mouth. “I am sorry, Emma.” she added quickly, while she stood up on wobbly, almost pudding-like legs, that were still shaking, as Emma quickly reached for her arm to steady her. “You should really be inside celebrating.” She added as Emma was still staring at her without uttering a word. 

“Are you- are you okay?” Emma just asked, ignoring her comment, as Regina just nodded, opening her mouth to say something, but Emma quickly cut her: “What was that anyway?”

Regina breathed out a long, exhausted breath, raising her eyes at the blonde again. Somehow she wasn’t able to calm down her breathing. She felt as if she had run about five marathons more than the blonde woman next to her. 

“I don’t- not sure. I just… umm… guess I had a lot of stress lately, it’s fine really.”

She forced a small smile onto her lips. “Can we just talk about this later, yeah?”
Emma looked at her with unconvinced eyes, and Regina added “Hey, look. Your parents are celebrating. You should be there.”

Emma must have known that Regina was right, because her gaze reluctantly fell onto the diner, and she saw the happiness in her parents - in everyone really.

“Are you coming?” Emma asked with her eyebrows raised high, as she watched Regina's expression falter. 

“I- I’m afraid, I can’t.” 

“Why?” Emma’s face said everything while she asked such a simple question, and Regina suppressed the laugh, and the cry that wanted to escape her at the question.

Why wasn’t she happy for Snow? Why had the name thrown her off so much? Why didn’t she feel like congratulating the Charmings’? Fuck. She should be a much better friend right now. She should, but she knew that she couldn’t.

She quickly banished the questions. She knew the answer, but she sure as hell didn’t want to think about it. She felt the pain creep up, and take over her expression, so she closed her eyes shortly.

Not able to think of another excuse, she quietly said: “I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on.”  It was not said convincingly at all . it sounded just like what it was: a horribly stupid excuse. At last it brought a little smile to Emma’s lips. “Look,” Regina tried again, “I just don’t feel like celebrating, and - as much as you won’t believe me - I do have a lot of work.” Then, studying the younger woman’s face she quickly added: “I’ll drop by tomorrow, to talk to all of you, alright?” 

Emma just nodded now. She wasn’t sure what she could say and as much as she hated it, Regina was right. Her parents were surely already looking for her, and they were her family. 

“You just let me know if you need anything .” Emma answered and Regina nodded. She appreciated the sincerity in the other woman’s voice. “Promise you’ll let me know.”

“I promise.” Regina smiled at her. “Have fun.” she added and then watched as Emma hesitantly went back into the crowded diner. 

Emma braced herself, putting on a smile, turned back another time, to look at Regina, and then she moved herself inside. 

It was only then that Regina let her stature fall again. Her shoulders were hanging down now, same as her head - which was usually held so high, but now just brokenly ducked. Her whole stature was a sight of misery really, as her small body moved along the street on still trembling legs. She held the jacket tugged close around her middle, as her arms were crossed above her abdomen. That’s how she slowly made her way home.

☆☆☆

With a tired sigh, Robin put the key in the lock of Regina’s mansion and turned it around. She had given him the key barely a few days ago, and the feeling of being able to go into her house without having to press the bell, made Robin smile - he was sure it still would in two years. He carefully walked into the floor, frowning when he didn’t see Regina’s shoes or coat in the vestibule. She was a strictly clean woman, and never walked into the house with shoes. But it was already near midnight, so he wasn’t sure where she would be at this hour. 

“Regina?” He called gently, listening, but he didn’t get an answer. 

Then suddenly he remembered that the coronation ceremony for the new prince was supposed to be held today, and he debated whether to head to Granny’s quickly to join the celebration, but listening to the tiredness of his body, he decided against it.

Slowly he made his way towards the kitchen, pouring himself a whiskey, and downing the drink. 

He wondered a bit if it would be okay for him to just go to sleep in Regina’s room, but as much as she had invited him, it still felt weird to invade her privacy like that, so he decided to go to the living room and wait for her there. He then opened her Netflix and started watching a movie, but over time it got pretty boring without her. The best thing about watching Netflix was Regina, he realized. It wasn’t like he knew much about technical things or movies, but in the short time that they had been together, he realized how relaxing a silly movie could be. 

Hey, are you still at the Party? he texted, but there was no answer . He tried again only a few minutes later.

As another 5 minutes passed and he still didn’t get an answer, he dialed her number - nothing. She must have put her phone on mute, as she always did when an important announcement was made or she was in an important meeting. “Wouldn’t want the mayor’s phone to interrupt.” she had told him with a smile as he had asked. But still, she would always turn it loud again as soon as she could, so he frowned slightly, the feeling that something was wrong getting stronger and stronger.

So he dialed the princess’ number instead. He was received by a sleepy voice at the other end of the call.

“Hello?” 

“Snow? I was wondering if you knew where Regina is? She was at your party, but she’s not answering her phone.”

“She wasn’t at my party.” Snow said, and even though she tried to sound mad, Robin knew that she was just trying to hide her disappointment. “I mean, yeah, she was there. But only like 30 seconds and then she left before the party even started. Don’t ask me what happened.”

“Hmm. Thank you, Snow. Sorry to have interrupted your sleep.” He said, and just as he was about to press the red button that would end the call, he raised the phone back to his ear. “Oh, Snow, before I forget. Congratulations.” 

He could almost feel the smile that must be on Snow’s face right now, as she said. 

“Thank you, Robin. Oh, let me know when you find Regina, okay?”

“Sure thing. Sleep well.” Robin said and then he ended the call. 

Now his panic really started to creep up. Where was Regina? He walked upstairs almost frantically and opened the door to her room. 

And there she laid. Just like that.

Or not just like that. She was still wearing heels and her coat, had her knees raised to her chest, and the blanket hugged tightly around it. Her arms were wrapped around her legs, and somehow holding the blanket from underneath.

“Regina?!” His voice was loud, worried and underneath it all, a layer terrified. 

“Robin?” She spoke softly, quietly but he could hear the anxiety in her voice. She turned around then, looking up at him, and suddenly without any warning she jumped to her feet, ran towards him, crashing into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her head in his chest. “I- I was waiting for you, but you. you didn’t come, and then i thought- and I was scared Robin- and Snow she… she-” Regina babbled with tears in her eyes and a voice that let him see right into the deep anxiety in her soul, waiting to break out more than it already had. It scared the hell out of him. Regina was always composed about her feelings. Even if she slipped, and let Robin see how she felt, it never lasted for more than a few seconds.

He soothingly started to rub his hand over her back. He had never ever seen Regina in a state like this. Naturally, Robin got a better look at her feelings than most people, but everything that was happening between them was so new, so raw, so even with him she had never been so completely unguarded. 

What happened?

“Shhhhh.” he whispered tenderly, and that’s how they remained for the next few minutes, none of them aware how much time had passed. 

Then suddenly Robin’s ringtone started loudly, echoing in the silent room, and he reluctantly pulled away to look who was calling: Snow. He had totally forgotten.

“Hey.” he quickly answered as Regina finally let her grip at his chest lessen, and walked back a few steps, leaving Robin feeling so lonely and cold now.  “Yes, I found her. I am sorry if I kept you awake.” 

“It’s fine,” Snow’s chirpy voice replied, “Leopold kept us awake anyway.” she chuckled. 

For a moment Robin just stood there, trying to grasp what she just said. “Wh- How- I don’t understand.”

“Ohh, you weren’t there at the announcement.” Snow chuckled again. “Well, I think you were at the station, you are graciously forgiven.” Then she added the words that suddenly made everything make sense to Robin: “Our son - Prince Leopold.”

“Oh, right.” Robin said. “Umm. Sorry, but I gotta go.” He said then, his gaze wandering to his love, as she had made her way back to the bed, and was sitting on the edge, looking so lost it nearly broke his heart. 

“Yeah, sure. Night, Robin. Oh, and if you could tell Regina that I expect her to come around and explain her sudden disappearance.” Snow meant it as a joke - Robin knew that - but he couldn’t help but feel a bit of dislike towards the woman. 

He just ended the call, not knowing what to say. He could say he would, but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t, but he couldn’t tell that to the woman either. So he just put the phone on the shelf, and then he walked towards his girlfriend.His girlfriend. It still felt good to just think these words. Silently he seated himself next to her. 

“Sorry.” She whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder. 

“Don’t be.” he answered silently. “You should go to sleep. We can talk tomorrow. Or whenever you’re ready.” 

She nodded, still a bit exhausted. “We should both go to sleep.” She whispered. Then she let her body fall back onto the sheets. “Come here.” Her voice still whispered, as she looked up at him expecting him to join her.

“You don’t want to change?” He asked with a frown.

“No, I really don’t.” She admitted sheepishly. He raised an eyebrow skeptically, and then he rolled over so he laid next to her. “You know I am here when you need me.” He said, and she nodded, while she quickly kicked off her shoes. 

“Maybe I should get rid of my coat after all.” she smiled softly and sheepishly, and Robin fell in love with that smile all over again in this moment. 

☆☆☆

“Hey, good morning.” Regina said awkwardly, while she watched Snow’s expression. It was filled with disappointment, with a bit of sadness and Regina’s heart clenched painfully when she thought about the fact that she most likely was the cause of that.

Robin had tried to change her mind about actually meating Snow, but she told him that she had promised Emma, to which he had asked when and why. At Regina’s response that she hadn’t felt very well, and Emma had been there and witnessed it, he had raised an eyebrow, letting it go for the moment. However she knew she would have to explain it to him. Robin had been so worried, he had actually made her promise that they would talk about it. “Later.” she had said. 

And now she was standing in front of the Charmings’ apartment, awkwardly fidgeting with her hands. Clearing her throat, she said, “Look, I am so sorry about yesterday. I just- I got a very urgent call, and I had to… umm… take care of it.”

The other woman responded in a nod, and Regina almost believed that she had gotten away with her lie, when Emma suddenly stuck her head out of the door. “An urgent call, huh? What about?”

With a deadly glare towards the blonde, she answered, “About… work.” Then she turned back to Snow. “Look, I just came to give you my congratulations. I am happy for the both of you. The three of you,” she corrected. 

“Thank you.” Snow responded, her lips graced with a little smile. “Why don’t you stay for breakfast?”

“No.” Regina answered, way too fast. “I… couldn’t impose like that. And I have a meeting coming up pretty early, so I gotta go.” She tried to save the situation, and Snow seemed to understand, because she just nodded.

With a smile she wanted to turn around and walk away, when suddenly a little voice behind Snow said: “Nonsense, Mom. You don’t have to stay long. Just for a coffee. Pleeaassse.”

This was not fair. How could she say ‘no’ to her son, to her little boy?
“I really can’t, Henry.” When he looked at her, frowning slightly giving her his puppy-eyed look, she eventually gave in, breathing out shortly. 

“Just because you’re the one asking.” She smiled at him. “But I really can’t stay for long.” 

He nodded, smiling up at her while he took her hand in his and walked to the table with her. “I’m gonna get you a set.” he said, nodding his head to the table, so she understood he was referring to a plate. 

They all sat down pretty awkwardly. Regina couldn’t shake the weird feeling of discomfort. She cleared her throat silently, before asking “Soo, ummm… how was the night? Did you sleep?”

Snow laughed, replying with a smile: “No, we didn’t. Not much anyway. He screams a lot still.” She looked around, and then she added: “It's all worth it, though.”

Regina nodded. “It is.” she agreed, turning to Henry, and quietly taking his hand under the table. He squeezed it carefully, smiling at her a little.

Snow broke the silence, raising her brows at the older woman. “You wanna hold him for a while?” she asked.

Regina felt the panic rising in her slowly, but trying to press it down as well as possible, she shook her head. “No.” she breathed out. Realizing the perplexed look on the face of - well everybody on the table, she continued, “I… ummm… I’d love to. Sometime, but I should really go now.” She got up, hurrying out of the room, leaving the Charmings’ and Henry with a confused look on their faces, looking at each other weirdly.

She made it to the car, got inside, before her breathing got out of control again. She leaned back, trying to breathe as deep and slow as possible. A few seconds later, she started practically tearing at the door handle, stepping out of the car, and leaning forward slightly. One-Two-Three-Four….

It didn’t get as bad as the last time, but it did take a few moments for her to get her breathing under control. Not exactly under control, but a little slower, and a little more controlled anyway. Then she got into the car, and slowly started driving away. She didn’t see the confused look on David’s face who had watched the whole thing silently.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

☆☆☆

His breath was uncomfortably meeting the skin on her shoulder. He smelled like alcohol, smelled absolutely disgusting. 

She swallowed hard, trying to hold back the urge to puke right in his face, trying to get the damn smell out of her head, trying to escape into a different world. 

It didn’t work this time. Sometimes- Sometimes it did. There were nights where she was able to escape into her head, focus on something else. Not entirely- it wasn't like she would shut off the impulse her body gave her, but it was better than this. 

It was better than nights like these, where she felt every hair, every breath, every inch of his body on her, with no way to escape, no way to leave, now way to shut him out.

She could feel his hands wandering down, could feel the way her body tensed as his hands settled at her hips, to wander down to her thighs. She breathed in sharply, when his hands moved to the inside of her legs, pushing them apart. It was no use to fight, she knew it, had learned it. So she turned her head to her side, staring at the wall, letting him pry her legs apart, even though every muscle in her body was clenched.

She let him remove her underwear, or rather let him rip it off her body, while she continued to lie around, like she was dead. No movement, no sound. Just the slow steady breaths she tried to muster, trying to get herself away, trying to somehow escape into her mind. It still didn’t work. 

She could feel him sinking into her, could feel the pain of him entering her, but she didn’t feel. Her soul was empty, while slow tears started to roll down her cheeks. “Please.” she whispered. “Stop.” but he didn’t hear. Maybe he didn’t care. Probably both. He continued to move inside her, ignoring the slow pleas falling from her lips, ignoring the silent tears falling from her eyes.

She shut her eyes tightly willing the tears to stop, but they didn’t. Her body didn’t obey her anymore, hell her mind didn’t obey her anymore. She found herself thinking things she didn’t want to think, found herself doing things she didn’t wanna do, but nothing mattered anymore. She was empty.

She could feel him coming closer to his high, could feel his breath quickening, his muscles tightening. She shut her eyes as hard as she could. Maybe she wouldn’t feel him spilling his seed inside her, if she tried, but it didn’t work. She felt it as intense as the hand that was slowly moving away from her, felt it as intense as she heard his grunt, felt it as intense as she felt his breath meeting her shoulder, when he rolled to the side to fall asleep.

He raised his hand to her breast, resting it right above it, and then he fell asleep.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She carefully removed his hand as soon as she was sure that he was asleep, and then carefully got off the bed. Tightening a robe around her she left the room, almost ran to hers, before dropping into her bed. One of the servants came in only seconds later, and she knew that it wasn’t her fault, knew that the poor girl couldn’t change anything, knew that she had come just to help her, but she yelled at her nonetheless. Yelled at her to get out, yelled at her to leave, yelled, yelled, yelled. 

She could hear someone calling her from afar, but she didn’t pay attention to it, reveling in the fear the girl’ eyes showed, reveling in the way she ran, reveling in…. 

“Regina.” whoever called her got louder, but there was no one there and she hated the way she felt. Suddenly she could feel a hand getting laid on her shoulder.

A rush of adrenaline flashed through her body. “No, no, please. Not again.” He just fell asleep, how could he be here ag-

“Regina, Regina. It’s me. Robin. I am not going to hurt you.” 

She opened her eyes, slowly, fear still running through her system. He must have seen it in her eyes, because he removed his hand from her shoulder, giving her space, while he carefully whispered, “Regina. It was just a dream. You are safe. You are okay.”

Her eyes moved to his, taking in the blue of his irises, taking in his tense stature, taking in the fear in his own eyes.

“I am so sorry.” she whispered, so quietly he almost didn’t hear. Raising her hands, she wiped the sweat off her face, and then slowly moved forward, into his arms. “I am really sorry.” she repeated, thinking maybe he didn’t hear the first time, because he didn’t reply. 

“Regina, it's alright.” he said, his voice way steadier than hers, but somehow shaken too. “It’s alright.” she just repeated, while he wrapped his arms around her small body, trying to give her comfort.

“Did I hurt you?” She herself didn’t quite know why she was whispering, but she couldn’t get her voice to be loud, to be normal at least.

“You didn’t hurt me.” his voice was a whisper now, too.

“You sure?” she stopped, swallowing hard, her heart was beginning to rise, faster, faster and faster, but he realized just in time, put his Hand on hers and said: “Regina. You did not hurt me. Everything is okay.”

She just nodded. “Thank you.” She said, a few seconds later. Then she wiped her face with her hands, and adjusted her position in his arms. “I didn’t scream, did I?” she asked, worry showing on her face. 

He shook his head. “No, you didn’t.” 

She nodded again. “Thank you, Robin. Are you alright?”, she added, because he was acting so weird, and she was beginning to worry about him, but he nodded. “I am alright. I just-” he stopped himself, taking a breath, thinking of a better phrasing, but he didn’t seem to come up with one, as he raised his head and said, “I just hate that he did that to you.” 

She immediately looked away, not able to look him in the eyes, not able to talk about it with anyone, not able to listen.

“I am going to quickly check on Henry. Just in case he heard something…” she said, and she really was. Henry knew that she had nightmares. He had always known, but they never talked about it. Regina knew that he knew, but she was trying to shelter him from it.

He nodded. She could see that he wasn’t happy with her leaving the room now, and that he wanted to say something else, but it was going to have to wait. He sent a reassuring smile, and she was sure he understood. He was a parent too, and Regina knew that he would check on his son first, if he would ever be in a situation like that.

She quickly got up, and went to Henry’s room. Her worry turned out to be quite unnecessary, because he was lying in his bed, tightly sleeping, his body covered by his blue blanket. She walked around his bed quietly, careful not to wake him, and then took a seat on the edge of his bed. 

She raised her hand, carefully caressing over his face. Watching him sleep had a surprisingly calming effect over her. It had something peaceful, something relaxing, making her heart fill with love. She spent a while there, and the time must have passed way faster than she had realized, because at some point Robin walked into the room.

“Are you okay?” his voice was only a whisper. 

She raised her head to look at him, answering with a little smile and a little nod. “For now I am.” she replied silently.

“Look at him. He’s so peaceful.” she smiled, raising her face to Robin again. She watched him for a little while, before she whispered: “We should get out of here.” 

She stood up silently, grabbing Robin’s hand and then slowly walking out of the room.

Once outside, Robin softly started talking again: “Regina, I seriously think we should talk about this.” They both stayed quiet for a few seconds. What was she supposed to say now? 

It was hard enough thinking about it, even harder now, but she just couldn’t talk about it.

“Not with me.” Robin continued. “Maybe with Archie?”

She started shaking her head vehemently. “I tried that, a while ago. Not about this topic, but about not using magic and stuff. He kinda told Emma what we discussed. Not in detail, but he did. It’s probably stupid, but I can’t really trust him.” 

He nodded. “What about Snow?” His voice was questioning, he was looking into her eyes, while she breathed out shortly. 

“It’s her father Robin. I can’t do that to her. She just learned her mother wasn’t all that good. And she absolutely adored him. If I tell her, what he-” she stopped herself, only to continue a few seconds later: “It would break her.”

He turned around to wrap his arms around her loosely. “I have a feeling you are going to find a super-respectable reason for every single person I can suggest.” 

It put a little smile on her lips. He was right. She probably would. She had always hated to talk about feelings or problems, and especially about something that was hurting her. It wasn’t easy, had never been.

Robin put his finger under her chin, raising it softly, until she looked up at him. “I know this is hard for you. But you have to. You choose anybody, alright? I don’t mind who, but you have to talk to someone.” She was trying to move her face, to avoid looking him in the eye, but he didn’t let her. “Regina, please. This- you need to get some help.” 

She nodded silently, before breathing out: “I know. I just-” she stopped, carefully resting her face against his shoulder. “I can’t.”

He slowly started stroking over her back. “Regina, I know it's hard. Just please think about it.” Then he carefully pressed a kiss to her hair. "Alright, we'll try to find a solution in the morning. Right now you need to get some rest." She nodded, taking his hand, and they both started walking towards the bedroom.

“Robin?” she whispered after both of them had snuggled into Regina’s bed. “Yes?”

She silently turned around, facing him, before continuing: “I know you said you didn’t want me to talk to you.” She could see his brow frowning in confusion, but he didn’t interrupt her. “But maybe….” she took a little breath, her hand searching for his’, before she continued: “I think you might be the only one, I would feel comfortable enough with.”

TBC ?

Chapter Text

It had been intense days for both of them. Regina had not talked much, and Robin had been busy with the sheriff's station and Roland. 

The main reason was that David had been asking him to take over most of his shifts, due to the “insane amount of crying” his son did during the nights.

For the majority of times, Robin didn’t have a problem with that. In fact he was usually happy to comply, always happy to help, and - who would have thought - he liked the work at the station.

Today however he had denied David’s request to take over his shift again. As much as he was happy to help the prince, his loyalty lay with the Queen. 

And today he had to talk to her. 

So he had ditched David, and was now on his way to her.

He had absolutely no idea how to do this, had about a hundred plans in his mind how it could go, but he was well aware that none of his plans would become reality - most likely anyway.

When he arrived, Regina was sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, sipping a coffee.

It was a thing she had picked up over the last couple of days. She would drink coffee in the evening, afraid of going to sleep, only to then lie awake during half of the nights. When she would fall asleep somewhen in the mornings, she was usually having nightmares, which over all resulted in an extremely sleep-deprived state of the woman. 

“Hello, milady.” he greeted, and let himself drop onto the couch next to her. 

“Hey, thief.” She didn’t sound enthusiastic, but it was probably just the tiredness that was finding its way into her voice.

She moved her face towards his. “The infamous fighter against sheriffs and governments not taking over any shifts today?” 

“No.” he replied. “The infamous fighter against governments is all there for the queen today.”  

For a little second he was worried she might be mad at him, but the chuckle he had waited for came a little while after. 

She let her head fall to his shoulder, letting out an exhausted breath. “How was your day?” she asked, her voice quiet.

“Alright.” It wasn't the most elaborate answer, but she didn’t seem to bother. She nodded against his shoulder. “Yours?” he asked.

“It was okay. A lot of work.” she answered.

“Regina? I am sorry I have been so busy.” she smiled softly, but he continued. “Maybe we can talk a little today? I know this is hard for you, but….” he stopped abruptly, while he moved his gaze downwards to look at her face. 

She had her face contorted in a little frown, but she hummed quietly. “Like right now?” 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Whatever you prefer.”

She nodded. “Okay.” she said, but then she turned silent again. 

He waited patiently for her to continue, but as the minutes passed all she said was: “I don’t really know where to start.” 

“Wherever you want.” he said, and the ironic chuckle that left her lips made him aware that she didn’t want to start at all.

“Well.” she began nonetheless, “the start.”

☆☆☆

It had been a horrible day, to say the least. Thousands of fake smiles, hundreds of fake people, dozens of fake hugs, even fake vows. 

He - the king - her husband - hadn’t even tried to dance with her. It was for the best, it wasn’t like she particularly wanted to be anywhere near him. She prefered to be far far away. Still it stung. That wasn’t supposed to be how her wedding was supposed to go.

Regina had always been a romantic in her younger years, imagining how her wedding was going to be. Perfect.

Only it wasn’t. It was horrible, and she hated every second of it. 

The times she had tried to escape over the past few days were almost impossible to count, but what was even more impossible, was escaping this castle. 

And now? Now it was too late. Because she was married.

The worst part of it all? She knew that the worst part was still to come, and every fiber of her being was begging her to run. To run as far as possible, and to never come back.

And while that sounded incredibly tempting, it was completely unmanageable. Guards followed her everywhere, even now that she had discreetly retreated to her chambers, guards were standing at the door. In her room. They didn’t even have the courtesy to wait outside.

She released a little sigh, and then slowly walked into the bedroom. 

The castle - hell, even her chambers were so large, so big, that she felt utterly alone and insecure.

The look of the bed alone sent a chill down her spine, and made this feeling of dread settle deep in her stomach. She clenched her hands together, fidgeting nervously, completely unsure of what to do.

She let her feets lead her to the door, being greeted by the utmost strange look from the guard. “I am going to get a glass of water in the kitchen.”

The man looked at her, as if she had completely lost her mind. She tried to force out another smile, while the man explained: “You have maids for that.”

“Yeah, I do.” she replied, and then she opened the door and walked straight into the kitchen. The knights followed her begrudgingly.

She hadn’t even made it to the kitchen before she could hear people gossiping.

“It’s such a shame.”
“She looks so innocent.”
“Of course she married him for the money and status. What else would a pretty little thing like her want with him?”  

Well, she did not make it to the kitchen. She turned on her heels, almost running back to her room, the guards being utterly annoyed with her, but it wasn’t like they could really do anything.

And then the worst part came.

☆☆☆

She had stopped talking, and they sat in silence for a minute or two, before Robin gently put his hands onto hers, trying to get her out of the scene, that was - although not spoken anymore - clearly still playing in her head. 

She flinched slightly, but then she must have realized that it was only Robin, because her tense shoulders relaxed a bit again.

“Do you want to stop for today?” He asked gently, but she immediately shook her head.

“Let me finish this.” He took her hand in his, squeezing it firmly. 

“Remember, I am right here.” She put her head back onto his shoulder, whispering a small “Thank you.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Well, I guess you have an idea what happened.” The enchanted forest had been oh-so-different from this new land.

Domestic violence, Marital rape all of those things weren’t necessarily more common, but they weren’t punished or in any way looked bad upon. Of course they weren’t respected, but nobody ever saw behind the scenes of most marriages, as a lot of things were tabooed even worse than they were in this realm.

Especially royal couples had a reputation to maintain. So even if these things happened, there was for sure no one to speak up, no one to say something, and most people didn’t even know - not that that was different in today’s society. 

But those who did know, had the utmost fear of the king, and most of the people working at court knew the consequences for telling on inside-information very well. If it was bad for the king he could have them hanged with a snap of his fingers.

Leopold hadn’t usually done that, but that didn’t mean that people didn’t fear him, especially those working close to him, who knew what he was capable of.

Regina's lips release a rush of air, as the hand of Robin squeezed her hand softly, getting her out of her thoughts, and getting her back into reality.

“Well,” she started, because she couldn’t think of another way to start. “It was terrible.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, the fear showing in it so clearly, that she almost stopped talking.

She had always hated any display of weakness, and now in her tired state, she couldn’t bring herself to be the composed, strong queen she wanted to be.

She swallowed hard. “He… Maybe you should know that I,” she stopped, inhaled for a second, and then started talking again: “I didn’t sleep with someone before that night.” The confession alone felt like an iron burning into her heart.

“Mother was… never particularly open about that stuff. I think it was awkward for her, but don’t ask me why she never talked to me about it. Maybe she just didn’t care enough.” Another hot iron burning its way into her heart, leaving a big red, burning scar.

“Anyway,” she tried again, blinking rapidly to keep the few tears in her eyes at bay.

“He wasn’t gentle. He was completely drunk when he did make it to bed. He summoned me into his chambers and I was escorted by a few of his guards.”

She took a sip out of the coffee mug, to try and get some wetness onto her dry lips, but it was cold by now, and tasted terrible, so she put it down again.

“He ordered me to take off my clothes, and then lay down flat on my back. He took my hands and tied them to the headboard. He didn’t do that often, but some nights, I guess when he wasn’t sure if I would fight him.”

She could feel Robin swallowing next to her, and now it was her that was squeezing his hand. She knew that it was hard for him too, but she couldn’t stop now. It would be even harder to start again, and as much as talking about it hurt, as much as she didn’t want it, there was a small part of her that was happy to get it out. That needed someone else to see her point of view. So she forced herself to go on.

“It hurt like hell. There was blood everywhere, and it wasn’t like he spent much time on foreplay or anything.” Back then she didn’t even know what that was.

She breathed in, feeling there again, lost in that moment, utterly and completely alone, not a single soul there to help her.

☆☆☆

All she could feel was his weight on top of her, moving rhythmically on top of her. All she could see were the guards standing at the door, watching them. She somehow felt bad for them. Because none of this was their fault, but Regina already hated them, and she knew that she always would.

She could feel his breath against her skin, could feel him moving inside of her, as she raised her eyes to the ceiling above the bed, tears slowly forming in her eyes. Her hands were helplessly tied above her head, and she tried to get them out of their chains, but they wouldn’t move.

The material was uncomfortably cutting into her soft skin, and with every twist it hurt more and more, but the pain wasn’t as uncomfortable as it used to be. 

The pain helped instead. The pain took her mind off him, even if it was just for a second. It didn’t last long though.

The obscene noises the man on top of her was making got her back into reality rather quickly.

He stilled suddenly, and her young, clueless spirit wondered what was about to happen, but then he suddenly groaned, loudly, ugly, spilling his seed inside her. 

Then he took one of the pillows, and stuffed it under her hips, ordering her to lay still, before crawling next to her, lying down and falling into a deep sleep.

She just laid there. Not moving the whole night, not closing a single eye, and all the guards and maids that passed the room, didn’t even have the decency to cover her up, at least let her cover herself. Not a single one.

☆☆☆

“Some of them looked at me, like I was a poor, abused puppy, some looked at me as if I was the devil himself. I will never understand why he did that so often. Snow was going to be Queen, that was sure from the very beginning, so I can absolutely not understand his need to impregnate me.”

She took a few deep breaths, before quietly whispering “Are you okay?” 

Robin nodded. “You’re asking me ?” She smiled painfully, but she didn’t reply anymore.

“Robin?” she started again, after a few minutes of silence. Dread was filling her whole stomach, as she started drawing patterns on the skin of his hand. 

“Are you freaking out yet?” She asked silently, because fuck what she was going to tell him would break him. She knew it. 

He stroked his thumb over hers. “I’m not. I won’t.”

“Agree to disagree.” she whispered. Because yes, this was Robin. But they hadn’t been together more than a few measly weeks, and nobody was strong enough to put up with her for the long run. And as kindhearted as Robin was, he would run eventually. Might as well get it over with.

She was almost sure Robin had said something, but whatever it was, her brain hadn’t registered it.

She wasn’t sure where to start, didn’t know how to tell him what she had to, but somehow, somehow she needed to find a way.

“I…” there was no way to complete that sentence. “It…” Didn’t work either.

She took another deep breath, gulped down the cold, disgusting coffee that was standing on the table next to her.

“There was a point where I couldn’t take it anymore.” She squeezed his hand, willing him to stay, willing him not to run, even after what she was about to say.

“I would have these memories. There was no way to escape them, apart from…” and just like that she stopped. It felt like she needed to get it out there. She had never ever talked to anyone about this. And yet- maybe it wasn’t worth it? Was it worth him leaving? Because he would, she was sure of that. 

Did she even trust him enough to tell him? 

Yes, The answer was a clear Yes. She trusted him. She trusted him way too much, and thinking about it, made her want to freak out. But this wasn’t the time to debate her whatever towards Robin.

She sighed.

“Regina? How did you escape them?” He seemed scared, and Regina felt another rush of guilt rushing through her body, as she looked at the fear in him that was caused by her.

 “Sometimes, they would just come. Randomly. There was no way to stop them, and then I would feel so helpless….” she stopped, choking back the sob in her throat.

Robin didn’t pressure her, and there was nothing that she was more grateful for in that moment. 

There was no coherent thought being able to be formed inside her brain anymore. Only one word, that she was barely able to choke out. “Pain.” 

Her mind went into a hollow darkness. Just darkness, the feeling of her hands shaking. Blood- a lot of blood, and his face.

“Regina!” Robin's voice panicked, as he shook her shoulders. 

“Darling, are you okay?” The worry in his voice was always too much, sending another streak of hot iron into her heart. 

“You spaced out for a moment.” he explained, his voice only a whisper, pulling her into his embrace. She let herself melt into him. 

“Sorry.” she whispered.

They are silent for a few moments, before Robin breaks the silence. “Regina. What did you mean with that ‘Pain’ ?”

She tightened her arms around his torso. That was it. That was where they would end.

“The way to stop the memories. Pain.” She could feel the blood rushing into her feet, could feel the way her arms wound around him even tighter, could feel the way his hand was slowly and soothingly stroking over her hair.

“Maybe Pain is wrong.” She then clarified. “At first it didn’t hurt. But it did stop the memories, you know? It stopped it all from becoming too much. It would only hurt later, while it was healing.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, she wasn’t even sure if Robin had understood a word of what she had just said.

He did.

“What do you mean? What did you do?” His voice wasn’t scared anymore, as if somehow he already knew. Instead, it was filled with compassion, was filled with something that soothed her aching heart, something that suddenly made her not-so-sure that he would leave.

For a while all there was was silence, and the two hearts of them beating erratically right next to each other.

She moved her upper body back, looking at him “Do I have to?” It was a quietly whispered plea, answered by a just as quiet answer. “ Please. ”

“Kiss me.” she answered instead, and the confusion was visible in his eyes, but Regina didn’t want to explain. 

She wanted him to kiss her. Because she was sure again - he would hate her after she had shown him. It was bound to happen anyway, she thought to herself. But she needed to feel his lips on hers first.

So she leaned forward, brushing her soft lips against his, before she slowly moved back and stood up.

“Everything?” Her voice was shaking, but now loud and clear. He flinched slightly, she wasn’t sure if because of the question or because they had basically been whispering for the past hour.

He forced out another: “Please.” and she moved her eyes to the floor. 

Whispering again, she said: “You’ll hate me.”

Then she raised her hand, letting it move down her body once, and then she just stood there not looking up, not doing anything.

Her clothes were mostly gone, she was wearing a black bra, and simple black cotton underwear. Scars were stretching all over her body, several groups of paralleled, healed cuts placed at her forearm, the side of her torso, some on her upper legs. 

She was still looking at the floor and didn't dare to look up, as she heard him gasping for air.

“I have never seen it.” he whispered. And it made sense. Robin had seen every inch of her naked body. But never what she did to herself. 

Regina spoke quietly, almost unhearable: “Rumple gave me a spell. Taught me how to cast one. To hide scars. I don’t know if he knew what it was for, maybe he assumed it was for the lip.” 

She couldn’t look at him. She didn’t dare to see the hate he was going to have in his eyes. Wouldn’t be able to stand his pity, his disgust, his judgment.

She could feel the air moving and was expecting for him to exit the room, but then suddenly he was standing right in front of her, carefully crabbing her chin and raising her face.

She didn’t struggle, she let him lift her face, but she didn’t look at him. She fixed her gaze on the couch behind him.

“Would you please look at me?” His voice was so soft, it didn’t sound hateful - quite the contrary in fact, but she still didn’t dare to look at him. “Regina.” it made her heart shatter into a trazillion pieces. She didn’t want to look at him, but she didn’t want to risk hurting him even more than she already had either, so she let her eyes slowly move to his.

To her utter surprise there was no trace of what she had expected to find. Instead his eyes looked at her lovingly, and it made absolutely no sense. She tried to swallow the big lump that was forming in her throat, but it didn’t work the way she wanted. 

She let herself slump slightly, but stopped before she was leaning into him - she couldn-t do that. Not now. She couldn’t make him touch her like this.

So she straightened her posture again, realizing how he raised his hands, and then hesitated for a moment.

“May I?” It was a quietly spoken question, and she wasn’t entirely sure what he was referring to, but she was guessing it was about touching her. She nodded almost unnoticeable, before she brought her gaze back to his eyes. 

He wasn’t looking at her anymore, no - he was, but not at her face. His hand found its way to her arm, and when his index finger - ever so gently - made contact with one of the scars, she couldn’t help the gasp that came out of her throat. Goosebumps started spreading over her whole body, and she suddenly felt incredibly cold.

She squirmed a little, moving herself back a few centimeters, causing his finger to fall from her arm. 

He looked at her, a silent question written in his features, before he suddenly pulled her into his embrace. She couldn’t fight it, not when it gave her that much comfort, not when it just felt right .

She leaned into him, carefully raising her hands, and wrapping them around his torso. His hands were slowly starting to move up and down her back.

“Would you mind looking at me for a little second?” He asked again. She did. She found comfort in his eyes. 

The love in his eyes earlier gave her the courage, gave her the trust to look at him again. 

“I need you to know that you are incredibly beautiful to me. Even with - especially with these scars.” his fingers slowly started moving around the cuts again. They differed in size and depth, and even the scars showed just how some of them were deeper.

“This?” he said, his finger slowly gliding down her arm, “This isn't who you are, Regina. But it’s a part of you. And I love that part of you as much as every other part. It doesn’t make you ugly.”

She swallowed. He had said love. Her heart was jumping, thumbing, wanting to burst. It was too soon, too soon for her to say it, but it was exactly what she needed to hear in the moment.

She wanted to reply, wanted to tell him so many things, but she couldn’t. The lump in her throat was too big to speak around.

She just melted into him a little more, silently starting to let the tears fall that she had been holding, and that’s how they remained.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They were startled by a loud knock at the door. Robin frowned, reluctantly letting the woman out of his embrace.

Robin watched her while she closed her eyes and then, with a movement of her arm, raised the glamor spell again. A pair of Jeans materialized in her hands, but it took her almost a minute.

“What’s wrong?” Robin’s voice cut through her racing thoughts.

What was wrong? Her. She was too unfocused. Magic was mostly about vision, especially materializing-spells. And well, a person that had her thoughts on something else, or wasn’t able to form coherent thoughts simply wasn’t able to cast spells like this.

She muttered an explanation towards Robin, before stepping forward and opening the zip of his Hoodie. With a little smile she pulled it off him, leaving him in his shirt, and put it on. Then she walked towards the door. 

She motioned for Robin to open the door, taking a place behind him. She didn’t know who was knocking, and to be completely honest she didn’t want anybody really to see her like this. 

The way she was hiding behind Robin felt absolutely ridiculous, but she did it anyway.

“David?” Robin’s voice sounded strange. She wasn’t used to Robin being mad, or angry, or pissed off. Right now he seemed to be, and that was clearly audible in his voice.

She put a little hand onto his back from behind. “I am so sorry to bother you.” David’s voice sounded through the hall. He seemed sincere about that. He looked physically in pain just being there, but neither Robin nor Regina cared at the moment.

“Snow asked me to get you, Regina. And neither of you were answering your phone…” Robin interrupted, his voice sounding harsh as he said: “Yeah, for a reason.”

Regina didn’t even know why she hadn’t heard her phone. It was probably because she had either put it down somewhere, or maybe she had forgotten to put it on loud again after work today. It didn’t matter now. 

Regina could see Robin glaring at the other man and David was uncomfortably standing there, not daring to move. He looked like he wanted to flee the scene as fast as he could.

“Okay,” she cut in, and by the way David almost flinched she realized that he probably hadn’t even realized her. “What does Snow want?” 

David released an exasperated breath. “I don’t even know. She has been crying for most of the evening, and demanded to see you. I think everything is a little much for her.”

He moved his gaze back to Robin, but bothered by Robin’s dark expression quickly back to her.

Regina couldn’t suppress the little laugh that escaped her lips before she could stop it. The situation was honestly ridiculous. Prince Charming standing in front of Robin Hood and the evil Queen being more scared of Robin Hood than of her.

“Give us a few minutes. I’ll get my purse.” She moved back, but not before grabbing Robin's hand to pull him with her.

“Is it okay if I go check up on her?” she asked silently. “You don’t have to ask me, Regina. You can do whatever you want.” he reminded, but then he continued: “Of course it is fine with me. But please be careful, alright? You don’t owe her anything.”

She nodded, although it wasn’t fully true. She did owe the girl. She had hunted her for the most part of her life, had destroyed her life, had kept her from raising her daughter, had done… so many terrible things to her.

“Regina.” Robin pulled her out of her thoughts. He knew her too well for the little time they were together. “I know what you’re thinking. I just want you to take care of yourself first. You come first. Not her. Okay?”

She nodded with a little smile, and answered with a wry “I’ll try.”

“I am going to the station, okay? David seems to be a little out of his head, I think he could use some help.” She nodded with a little frown. “ You come first. Not him.” she echoed, bringing a smile to his lips. 

“I know.” he leaned forward pressing a small peck to her lips. “It’s boring without you here, anyway.”

She smiled and nodded. “That’s about right, thief.” she winked at him. “I’ll see you later.”

☆☆☆

About a few hours later she was sitting in Snow’s living room, the small boy in her arms, finally not crying anymore.

David had been right. Snow had been a complete mess. The girl had cried, thrown a huge tirade about how she had no idea what she was doing with her son and had begged her to help.

Granted - the boy had been screaming. Screaming pretty loud, he had seemed tired, and Snow was utterly helpless, rocking him, putting him in the crib, taking him out, trying to feed him something - in summary: she had tried everything.

Regina had really felt sorry for her. It wasn’t Snow’s fault that the boy was crying, but she knew how it felt to think - to be sure that it was your own fault.

Well, she had sent the woman to bed, telling her to get some sleep, because Snow seemed as tired as the little one, and now it was just the two of them - him and the boy named after her worst nightmare - sitting on the couch. 

To her surprise he was actually not screaming anymore, just quietly whimpering. She raised him up to her chest, and started soothingly talking to him.

“Well, little one. First of all we need to find you a name, huh.” She thought a little second, but in the silence he started whimpering again, so she quickly started talking to him again.

“Schhh. You have to let your mother sleep, dear. She can’t take care of you if she’s as tired as you are.” The boy stopped the crying again, and Regina’s face was taken over by a little smile again.

“You know, you’re not so bad. It’s not your fault your dear mother chose such a horrible name for you.” She boopeed his nose with her right index carefully, before putting it into his little hand. He immediately closed his fingers around it.

“So, you’re another product of true love, hm? Are you gonna be a savior-like thing?” she asked, frowning, because it was actually a pretty great question.

“Anyway, if you should be one, you have to cut the bad guys some slack, you know. They aren’t all that bad. In fact most of them can be quite good. Soo, instead of fighting them, give them a reason to be good.” She smiled. “That’s a pretty good strategy.”

The little boy actually mirrored her smile. “Mmh, you’re quite the sweet one.” she chuckled.

“Soo, about the name, let me think. How about we call you after an animal.” She thought for a second, “bug.” 

She laughed. “Nope, that's the cricket already. It doesn’t really fit you anyway.”

“You know it’s quite boring being the only one talking. You could answer from time to time.” She pressed a little kiss to his cheek. “Just kidding. You’re good.”

“Bunny.” she said, completely random. “But that’s a little short. So we add something.”

“Bunny-butt.” The boy released a squeal in delight, which made her chuckle. “You like that, hm? I doubt I can call you that, because your mother is gonna kill me.”

Then she thought for another moment, “maybe that’s the idea. Bunny-butt it is.” The boy released a little laugh again.

“You could do me the courtesy and fall asleep.” She laid the boy onto her legs, holding his head into her hands. “ I am a queen. You gotta do what I say. That’s rule number one.” She laughed silently, careful not to wake Snow, and the little boy mirrored her laugh again.

“Okayy.” she stood up, resting the little boy into her left arm. “I’m gonna walk around a little bit with you, okay Bunny-butt?”

She started walking, rocking him softly, carefully. “I’m not gonna sing.”

“Nope, don't even think about it. Auntie Regina can’t sing.” She laughed quietly. 

It wasn’t that the baby actually talked to her, or signaled her to sing. But Regina felt somehow connected, somehow safe with the little child in his arms. She had dropped her guard way too fast and was talking to him, as if she was normal. As if she wasn’t the fucked-up former Evil Queen.

But it didn’t seem to matter right now. It didn’t matter that she had been the villain, it didn’t matter that he was Snow White’s child. It didn’t matter how much both of their families had hurt each other. None of it.

“Alright.” she agreed, even though there was nothing to agree to. “I’ll sing a little to you.”

She thought for a small while.

Then she started humming a soft melodie. “It’s not very happy. It’s the one song that comes to mind right now, little one.”

“She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes…”

And just like that, the little child in her arms, was sleeping in a tight slumber.

“See that wasn’t so hard.” she whispered, walking to the couch and laying him down. Then she quietly climbed next to him, lying down silently, waiting for the night to pass.

Rule for the night: Do NOT fall asleep. She couldn't risk having nightmares with a little child in her arms.

☆☆☆

The sun was shining tight onto her eyes, causing her to wake up. 

She carefully raised her hand to her face, smoothing over it, before opening her eyes.

Four pairs of eyes were fixated on her, making her instantly remember the evening. Oh Fuck.

The first person was Snow. She looked… utterly in love with the picture she was seeing. It was now that she realized little Bunny-butt still cozily sleeping on her chest.

Next up was Charming. He had his arm wrapped around his wifes’ waist. He looked at her like he was worried.

Then there was Robin. He looked at her, like well… both of the above. Worried and in love.

And then there was Henry. He was watching her. On the one side he had a huge question-mark on his face, and an insane amount of gratefulness.

“You got him to sleep, Mom. During the night.” he said, as if that alone was the most heroic act she could have done today.

“Morning.” she groaned softly and stopped Snow when she leaned down to pick up the child.

“Just let him sleep.” She moved her hand upwards, bringing it down again,  casting a small spell that was causing her makeup and hair to be rightend again.

“He needs his bottle.” Snow wanted to argue, but Regina shut her up with a harsh look that she shot at her. “He’ll wake up when he’s hungry. Believe me.”

Then she carefully raised her hand, causing the boy to float in the air and moved him towards his crib, softly putting him down, and magically covering him with the soft blue blanket.

“I should head home, I think I need to freshen up a little.” She stood up silently, before turning to her former step-daughter again. “Try to keep the noise down, the little one needs a little sleep.”

She gave Snow a court nod but, as the woman was, she couldn’t get a hint, or maybe she didn’t care. She stepped forward, raising her arms and enveloping the other woman in a tight hug. 

Regina felt her body tensing, wanted to raise her arms to hug her back, but her body didn’t. She just stood there, completely helpless, waiting for the younger woman to let her go.

When Snow finally - awkwardly - released her grip on the woman, Regina took a few steps back, reaching for Robin's hand.

“Well, uhh, We will go home.” She took a few steps forward, before raising her hand, and bringing them both to the mansion, in a cloud of purple.

She brought her hands up to his neck, carefully wrapping them around it, before slowly leaning into him. “I thought a little.” She said carefully, and Robin smiled at her. “Me too. But you go first.”

“First of all, I think Snow suspects something is up with the name. She was totally weird yesterday, said a lot of things that didn’t really make sense, but I think she knows that her choice of name somehow made me feel…” she stopped, not finding the right word, before looking Robin in the eyes. “You get it.”

“I do.” He answered softly. “Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, to have her know at least a part?” He asked carefully, but Regina shook her head vehemently. 

He didn’t ask any further, just looked at her, so she continued. “Second of all, I think I need to talk to a professional.” She took a short breath. “Don’t get me wrong, I love…” another short breath. “The way that we talk, and you are absolutely perfect, but I think it is necessary.” 

He shocked her with the little:  “I agree.” that came from Robin. “You should. It would help you.” he added. “But please don’t forget that I am here for you, whatever you need.”

She leaned forward, even closer to him, closing every single millimeter of air left between them. “Thank you. For everything.” 

Instead of an answer Robin moved his head down to hers, giving her a little, soft kiss to her lips.

“I thought too.” he started then. “You don’t have to answer the question now, okay? Just think about it.” 

He seemed nervous, and it sent a nervous little spark into Regina too. Before she could ask, he started talking again. “If it’s not too much for you, and if there is a way to do it, maybe you could take me out if the spell.” His hand slowly trailed along her arms, making her realize what he was talking about.

“If you don’t want that, I get it. But I don’t need the perfectified version of you Regina. I want the real you. With all the scars, and everything else.”

TBC