Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Tank! What the hell were you thinking?!” Vincent yelled through the apartment, anger taking over his rationale. Anger… was it really anger? If he was being honest, no.

No it wasn’t.

Vincent wasn't angry per say, he was scared. 

Scared that his mate had charged head first into the face of danger without a second thought about their own safety or life. With hands buried in his hair, the prince started pacing back and forth around the living room, half-ignoring Tank’s form on the couch. 

Their mind was a wreck, Vincent was gonna kick them out, he hated them. He was so sick of them and they’d fucked up one too many times. They weren’t trying to be stupid, they were just trying to help.

Avoiding his gaze, they slumped further into the couch, shrinking in on themself as flashes of Quinn and… others raced through their mind. The vampire growled lowly, muttering angry curses under his breath as they fell into their silent panic. 

“I mean fucking hell. How do you expect me to feel when I see you charging head first into oncoming danger like that?!” He threw his hands up, exasperated. They shrugged slightly, eyes wide and gaze locked onto the floor.

“Tank, I love you so fucking much but it kills me seeing you throw your life away for some stupid revenge kill!” Oh, that one hurt. Tank’s partners had always assured them that they supported their little endeavour into finding and stopping Quinn and his gang of little bitches. The only parameters were that they were to do it safely and call for backup as soon as it seemed like they were in danger.

And to be fair, they had. They’d called their energetic partner who was too far out of town to get there fast enough. Then they’d called Vincent who had immediately rushed over. He was just a few seconds too late though and an innocent life would have been lost if they hadn’t acted.

Tank felt their actions were justified and they knew they were going to get a lecture but not like this. 

“Are you even listening?!” His lip curled, the all-too-familiar snarl startling them out of their visions.

“I-” They tried to force the words out but their breathing was shaky and the sentences were jumbled even in their own mind. Vincent didn’t notice, too wrapped up in his own panic and anger that he failed to see how much his lover was suffering. 

A door opening and slamming shut caused both of them to jump, heads whipping towards the entryway where their energetic partner stood. “Oh Lovely. Thank god. Please deal with them before I-” He rolled his eyes, only to be cut off by them shouldering past him and stopping in front of Tank.

“Hey, can you look at me?” They asked quietly, voice soft and sweet. They didn’t touch them, hands resting by their sides, itching to reach out and comfort their partner. Their wolf raised their gaze, meeting Lovely’s gaze with scared, wild eyes.

They felt their heart melt.

“What-”

“Shut up Vincent.” They demanded, not in the mood for his bullshit.

Tank flinched, grateful for the physical barrier that stood between Vincent and themself. To his credit, you could hear Vincent’s teeth snap shut.

“Are you okay?” They asked, voice small again. Tank nodded, smiling fakely and Lovely grimaced slightly. Their lack of talking was mildly concerning. “May I touch?” A nod in reply, they took their partner’s scarred hands in their own, tugging them to their feet and beginning to pull them into the bedroom.

Vincent’s shuffling could be heard behind them. They whipped around, keeping the uncharacteristically small and scared Tank tucked away in their chest. “No. You just… just stay out here.” They sighed, continuing their journey to the bedroom. 

Vincent felt his heart break. He hadn’t meant to hurt them, he had just been so caught up in the crippling fear that he hadn't stopped to realise what he was doing to them.

Sitting them down, Lovely remained standing. “Are you hurt anywhere?” That was not the first question Tank was expecting.

They nodded shyly, raising their shirt at their lover’s bent eyebrow. A gash ran along their side and was steadily dripping blood.

How did Vince not notice that?

“Shit okay.” They turned around, going to get the first-aid kit but paused at the pained whine that Tank let out. Their mind was a battlefield, each thought sending more gunfire across the field and honestly, they weren’t sure whose side they were on.

Oh god, they hate me too.

They’re gonna side with Vincent.

I fucked up too much, Im too much of a burden.

Fucking idiot, why couldn’t you just chill out and no fucking hurt someone for three seconds?

They berated themself, tears gathering as the familiar sting became painful as they dug the heels of their palms into their eyes. 

“-ey. Hey Honey, it’s okay, shhh.” The electro-energetic soothed, hands finding a home on their face as they held back their tears.

Burying their face into their stomach, Tank wrapped their arms around Lovely’s waist in a viper’s grip. “I’m sorry. I'm sorry I didn't mean to- I just wanted to help. I'm sorry, please don't hate me. I'll leave if you want me to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” They sobbed harshly, fingers scrambling for purchase in their mate’s shirt.

Lovely felt their heart shatter as they held their wolf close, slowly shushing them and stroking their hair. “Oh Honey. No, we’re not getting rid of you, I promise. You aren’t bad or wrong, Vince was just scared and reacted badly. None of what he was saying is true, I promise.” They repeated, trying to get the message to stick in their shaking werewolf’s head. Tank rubbed their face along the fabric, trying to smother themself into their mate.

“It’s my fault… I fucked up.” They sighed, voice strained, rough and quiet.
“Maybe, maybe not. But we’ll figure it out, okay?” Lovely took their face into their hands again, connecting their eyes for a moment before they broke it.

“Okay.” Tank whispered back, sniffling wetly.

“Right, I’m gonna patch you up. You and I are gonna have a nap. We’re gonna call Sam and then we’re all gonna sit down and talk about it.” They clapped their hands together, squeezing them reassuringly. Tank nodded, resigning themself to the shitty afternoon they were about to have. At least they had Lovely there.

Chapter Text

Sam’s gaze was locked on the wall, his back against their bed. Nobody was home and the house was terrifyingly silent. His mind was a mess, a constant back and forth of

‘Go order some blood’

‘Go kill’ 

‘Find food’

'Call them and feed’

To

'No, I don't deserve it’ 

'It’s not fair to put my issues on them’

'I haven’t earned it’ 

‘I can't break their trust like that’

Sam growled, hating the hunger that tugged on his brain. He hadn’t fed for probably two weeks. He was hungry, tired, angry, but most of all, he just felt guilty. Sam had no idea how any of his partners could stand the sight of him. Sure, realistically he could ask one of his lovers if he could feed on them. Only problem was, his guilt was clouding his rational judgement. He was a vampire. He was the very thing that two of the three should hate.

Darlin’ had battled for months and lost so much to Quinn but they still didn’t blame or shun Sam for being one-in-the-same with him.

And Lovely… Lovely had Adam. He had tried so hard to break them, to tear them down into nothing but his pathetic little plaything. He hadn’t succeeded, but sometimes, he still plagued their dreams, taunting them, haunting them, the threats of what he’d do to them seeming so real in their nightmares.

Sam had tried to wake them up from one once, but as soon as they’d seen his red eyes. His eyes. They’d shut-down, shoving Sam off them hard and running into the closet, slamming the door. It’d taken Vincent and Darlin’ an hour to coax them out. Sam had slept on the couch for a week after that. 

That week had been awful for Sam and become a large part of what led to his… dietary restrictions.

He had enough insight to know what he was doing was not healthy, but it was only a couple of weeks, right? He’d eat later. 

He was just too tired now, it wasn’t a major concern, is what Sam told himself.

Truth was, he wasn’t okay.

Sam was festering in his guilt. Allowing the physical pain to outweigh the mental and emotional. He was the physical embodiment of guilt. His entire existence was the product of evil, that same evil that flowed through his veins, that same evil that had hurt the three people he loved most in the world. That same evil that Sam was quite literally the spawn of.

Call it trauma or whatever else in his fucked-up that led to these feelings, Sam didn’t care. He just knew that he refused to burden them with this. Refused to hurt them or put them in jeopardy as They did. 

He coughed harshly, chest contracting painfully as the side-effects of his little fasting stunt returned with a vengeance. Sam was a doctor, he knew the effects this could have. Knew the everlasting pain he’d endure if he kept going, but it didn’t matter. Only they mattered.

Sam was more than happy to snuff his guilt, fear and anger down into hunger for as long as he could. The raging emotions in his head caused him to doubt everything. Even sometimes his partners love for him. How people as kind and as beautiful as them could love someone as vile and cruel as himself.

How they could even stand to be in reach of him was astonishing.

With fists buried in his hair, Sam let out choked sobs. His eyes watered but barely anything came out. He was far too dehydrated to even think about crying actual tears. He just sat there, knees pulled up to his chest; blank grey wall in front of him, back against their bed, dry heaving as he tried not to be weak.

Not to be the fuck-up She had always promised he was. His mind was quickly diverting down past the barbed wire fence that he tried so hard to stay away from. That dimly lit path with its cracked pavement and flickering street lamps.

That path led to the hole in the wall that held all of his insecurities, his doubt and fear, his anger and repressed memories. Sam loathed that path. Screaming out loud, he smashed his fists against his head, physically trying to turn around, to go back into the light. 

A force stopped the next hit to his head, wrapped his hands up in warmth and cradled them to a hard surface. Something moved under his hands. It was a steady motion and Sam could feel vibrations running under his fingers. Stretching them flat, he recognized the surface.

A chest. Their chest.

“L-Lovely?” He croaked out, voice wrecked and weak, eyes still screwed shut. 

“Yeah Sam, it’s me. We’re okay. Don’t worry, everything is okay.” They tried to soothe, running their fingers over the back of his hands.

No! No, this wasn’t right. He had to be the strong one, had to comfort them. Sam jerked his hands away, scrambling up the bed only to fall off the other side.

His movements were sluggish and jerky, brain and other organs quickly shutting down from the malnutrition. They let out a harsh breath, eyebrows furrowing at their vampire’s movements. They hadn’t meant to scare him. Rushing around to the other side of the bed, they grabbed him under the arms and lifted him onto the bed. 

Has he always been that light?

No. No he hadn’t. That was deeply concerning, they fretted. Placing him between their legs, his back pressed up against their chest. His pulse jumped under their touch, beating so intensely it was like he’d just run a marathon. “Shh, Sam it’s just me. It’s okay. We’re okay.” He opened and met their eyes slowly, pupils dilated and frantic. 

‘Hunger. Feed. Pulse. Blood in veins’. 

The thundering thoughts were maddening. Sam could hear the rush of blood flowing through their veins so loudly in his ears, drowning out everything else.

He was so hungry. 

Shaking his head wildly, he thrashed in their grip, desperately trying to get away from that addictive scent. “No. Sam, stop. It’s okay. You’re not gonna hurt me. I know what you've been doing.”

What?

Those words penetrated into his mind, slamming his thoughts to a grinding halt.

“What?” It was a breath on the wind, one panicked word that had their heart bleeding at the sorrow in his voice.

“I know you think Darlin' and I are scared of you. I know you think not drinking from us and not drinking at all is a good response to this situation, but it's not. It's not Sam. You are killing yourself like this and I refuse to sit by and let it happen.” They explained slowly, gently, like talking down a feral animal.

He melted, all fight being replaced by fear that left his bones weak and his mind frazzled. Everything felt too much, his entire being like an exposed nerve, waiting to make contact. “No I- that’s not what-. I just…” he trailed off, panting harshly. Talking was exhausting and his brain simply couldn't force the words out.

The electro-energetic turned him around in their arms, letting him bury himself into their chest, pushing his face away from their neck.
“We all know and it’s okay. But we’re not scared. We don't flinch away from you, do we? We’re not scared of Vincent either and he’s a vampire too, right? It’s okay Sam but this had to stop. You’re wasting away and I can’t bear to see you do this to yourself.” They reassured, hand rubbing over his back soothingly, slowly piecing his frayed brain back together. 

“...I’m so hungry.” He whispered tearily, breath stuttering in his chest.

They let out a wounded sound and leaned back to cup his cheek. “You can drink from me. It’s okay, I’m not scared.” They whispered, smiling gently down at the broken man before them. 

He shook his head “Sparks, no. I- I can’t.” Rejecting the offer was second nature, he had to be strong. He could stick out a few more days of fasting. “I’m not arguing about this Sam.” Their tone grew more demanding but not becoming unkind. They raised an eyebrow at him and he could feel his resolve melting. 

A few minutes passed as Sam dug his head back into their chest, debating what the best course of action was. “Okay.” he muttered near-silently.

They grinned, shuffling around and moving until his head was hovering over their shoulder/neck junction. Their hand carded through his hair gently, encouraging him to.

Despite his internal anguish, he leaned forward, kissing over the spot to numb it before sinking his teeth into their flesh. He was immediately hit with their liquid gold taste. It flowed into his mouth as he groaned. 

“There we go. Drink your fill. Everything’s okay now. I’m here.” They whispered praises through the entirety of his meal, enjoying the fact that they were helping him so much.

Eventually he pulled away, not wanting to even edge on taking too much. Licking his lips he smiled at them slightly. They grinned back as he sealed a kiss over the wound, “Are you okay?”

“I should be asking you that.” he grimaced, “But yeah, I’m okay.” For once it was the truth. He wasn’t great but he was no longer starving to death so yeah, he was fine. 

They retook their place on his face, thumb stroking along his cheek. “You are not a bad person. You have never scared me and I have never been afraid to love you.” They promised, placing their foreheads together.

“Sparks, you were afraid. That night you were so scared of me and what I stood for.” He whispered it out like it was the most embarrassing thing he’d ever admitted. It almost was. They wracked their brain for what he was talking about before it hit them. “Oh sweet boy, did you really think that's what that was?” They sighed sadly, “No. I wasn’t afraid of you. I was afraid of… Adam and yes, your eyes reminded me of him, but I was never once scared of you.” That was the truth, plain and simple, but Sam couldn't believe it.

“No but you, you shoved me off. Oh, you were shoving him off, huh?” He realised after a while.

They nodded once more, “Did the others ever tell you that I begged them to let me go and get you each night that you slept on the couch that week?” That was news to Sam and clearly he wasn’t the best at hiding it. 

Lovely chuckled lightly at his bewildered expression. “Yeah, it broke my heart knowing that you didn't wanna scare me or sleep with us because of it, but they made me wait until you were comfortable enough to come back.” Sam’s hair immediately went flying as he shook his head. “No, that wasn't it! I just, well yeah I didn’t wanna scare you.” He finally admitted, feeling lighter as he realised what an idiot he’d been.

“Oh love, it's okay. Have you ever scared Tank or I or even Vincent? You have never been a threat to us.” They promised, sealing their words with a kiss. It was salty and Sam’s breath shook as he kissed them back. “I’m sorry.”

“Nope, no apologies. Let’s just wait for the others to get home and then we can all have some dinner and cuddle up together. I never want you going hungry again.” They smiled again sadly, cradling him into their chest and soothing his worries and thoughts.

“I love you.”

“And I love you too Sam. So much.”

Maybe, just maybe, he might deserve some love.

Chapter Text

Two warm bodies pressed against each other in quiet harmony. A hum radiated through both vampires, a familiar content feeling that they held so close to their heart. The atmosphere was comfortable, safe and trusting.
There, wrapped up in each other’s arms, they didn’t have to be anybody.

They were just Sam and Vincent. 

Silence stretched between the two as their breaths rose and fell in sync. It wasn’t awkward or bad. It felt right, it felt good. It felt like home. 

That’s what they were to each other, they were safe, they were home.

They were a warm shelter after a freezing storm. 

“Sam?” A quiet whisper broke the silence. Said vampire hummed sleepily, hand intertwining with his lovers.

“What’s up?” He whispered back, still not wanting to break the peace that had settled in the room. Vincent shuffled back even further, his back pressed right up against Sam’s front. Still it wasn’t enough, the prince almost wanted to melt into the other, to be so close to each other that they fused together.

“I’m so proud of you.” Those five words stopped Sam’s brain. He paused, fingers tightening around the ones between his own. “What?” He croaked out, stiffening slightly. That was odd, he hadn't done anything?
He voiced his confusion.

Vincent laughed lightly, “I'm just proud of you in general. You’ve gone through so much and you’re still here, still with me. You still have enough room to love three people, to be kind, to help other people so much and never ask for anything in return. You are so incredible, Sam. I just wanted to remind you and make sure you know.” He smiled, tilting his head back and kissing the underside of Sam’s head. He could feel the other sighing at his words. 

He didn’t believe them.

“Vince…” He trailed off, not arguing, but not accepting the words.

“Sam…” Vincent mocked lightheartedly, kissing his jaw one last time before sitting forward and burying himself under Sam’s chin, entangling their legs.

He mulled over his words, trying to think of a way to express his undying (lol) love to the other, to coherently make the cowboy understand just how much he meant to Vincent.

“I was never… enough, never smart or strong enough, never brave or attractive enough. I was just always too much or too little of one thing or another. Until I met you, and Lovely and Darlin' walked into my life. You helped me more than you could possibly know. You showed me that I was more than just a pretty face, more than a sad little prince. Sam, you changed my life, you brought love and hope back into it. You have done so much good and helped so many people and it kills me that you don’t believe that.” Vincent explained quietly, tracing his nail along Sam’s arm as he spoke. The other shivered beneath his touch, sniffling slightly at his words.

He had never realised that he had meant that much to him.

“Vince I- thank you. You saved me, in all the ways a person can be saved and then some.” Sam whispered back, feeling his throat clog up with unspoken emotions.

Vincent smiled, nuzzling back into the other’s chest, feeling his pounding heart against his back. “Seriously Sam, I am so proud of you. After everything you went through with… her,” Sam almost flinched at the venom that filled Vincent’s voice. “you still have enough love in your heart for three people. You still care enough to go out and help people, to support everyone you can. You have enough love in you to lie here with me for hours just because I asked you to.” He knew it was a declaration of love, that nothing could stop the Prince from sharing exactly how he felt and Sam, well for once Sam was okay hearing it. 

“To be fair dollface, I ain’t got anything better to do.” he teased, laughing at the way Vincent scoffed and hit his arm gently. 

“I love and appreciate you so much, please know that.” The younger grinned, squeezing the cowboy’s hand three times.

“I do, and I love you with everything in me and more.” Sam squeezed back four.
Silence greeted them once again, wrapping them up in its comforting warmth. They didn't need words, didn't need to fill the emptiness.

They had each other and the smell of the others on the sheets. That's all they’d ever need.