Chapter Text
"Do you think aliens have dicks?" You randomly asked Peter who was sitting on his bed across the room.
"Well, how else would they reproduce?" Peter responded to you as he threw something in the air and caught it, only to throw it up in the air again.
You were lying on your bed with your head hanging off the end, so everything looked upside down. "I don't know; maybe they spit on each other."
There was a knock on the door, "Someone has to do the dishes!" May yelled.
You looked over to Peter for a second with a small smile, "Fuck this shit- I'm out!" You said and looked out the window to teleport down the street.
"Shit," Peter said under his breath and slowly got up from the bed to stalk out of the shared bedroom, accepting defeat.
This has how it's always been in the Parker household, ever since you two were very young. You don't remember much before you moved in with May and Ben, but Peter has been in every memory. He was with you on your first day of school, when you two entered the science fair (and won!), and when you discovered your powers. You found out about yours at thirteen, only three years before Peter got bit by the spider. You'll never let him live down that you got powers before he did.
--
You walked into your second-period science class, where you were lab partners with Peter. He walked into the classroom very slowly with bags around his eyes and a few scratches on his cheek. When he sat down next to you, you hit his shoulder. "Where the hell were you this morning? And all last night?" You whisper-yelled.
Peter glared at you, and his voice was in your head. "I was kicking ass."
"All night?" You thought to him.
"Yeah, criminals on every corner," He thought back, a smirk evident on his face.
"Why didn't you come get my help?" This time, it was your turn to glare.
"If I woke you up, you would have killed me," He thought to you, and he was probably right.
"Good morning, everyone!" Your science teacher walked in shouting, interrupting your mind conversation.
You turned back to face the front of the classroom, after thinking "Oh dear," to Peter.
"We are starting a project today with new partners!" Wow, this guy was really excited about the project.
Peter looked over to you with a worried face, "Oh no," He thought.
"I'm randomly pairing you up," The teacher said and called out your classmates' names.
"Peter Parker and Liz Allan." You smiled over to Peter when the teacher called the two and thought, "Get some," causing Peter to blush.
"(Y/N) Parker and Dave Hogh."
You turned around to look at your new partner with a smile. But what you didn't see was Peter glaring at Dave. Peter always hated Dave, ever since he heard that Dave had a crush on his twin. Dave was dangerous in Peter's eyes; you might as well call him HYDRA.
Everyone in the class switched seats to be by their new partner. Peter and Liz sat at the desks behind you and Dave as both groups began to work on their project.
Time quickly ran up since most of the period was taken up by your teacher talking. You collected your things when the bell rang, and Dave started to walk next to you as you left, Peter trailing behind.
"So," Dave started, "Do you want to come over to my house after school so we can work on our project?" He asked you, and before you could even open your mouth, your idiot of a brother started to talk.
"Oh, Aunt May wants us home right after school ends. So, sorry Dave, but May will freak out, and when May freaks out, we freak out, and it's never good."
"Then Dave, would you like to come over after school? May won't care if it's for a project." You added.
Peter tried to interrupt again, but you slapped him before he could say anything. "Yeah, that's cool. You guys ride the bus, right?" Dave asked with a smile.
"Yeah," You started, and yet again, Peter cut you off.
"We'll see you after school, Dave! We are going to walk to class!" Peter said, grabbing your arm to pull you away.
"Oh, well, I can walk her. She's in my next class, and you aren't; I'd love to walk together!" Dave offered.
"No, no, no, no, it's okay! I can take it from here! She is my sister after all-"
"Peter, chill, you see me every day," You reasoned with your brother, "I'll see you at lunch, don't worry."
Peter crossed his arms and walked to his class, which was in the same direction as your class, so he had to watch you and Dave walk together. "Man, Dave is such a bozo, something smells fishy here," Peter began to think, "I'll kick his ass, and he'll regret even talking to her-"
"Peter," You could hear his thoughts and glanced over at him, "Shut the fuck up."
--
On the bus ride home, you sat next to Dave.
To say the least, Peter was beyond pissed. His eyes did not leave you to make sure you were okay, but mainly to make sure Dave didn't even touch you. And when the bus stopped at the apartment building, Peter had to walk behind you two, which only made him madder. He was just about ready to whip out his webbing and leave Dave stuck to a garbage can, "Just like the garbage he is..." He thought.
"Well, who is this?" May asked when the three of you walked into the apartment.
"This is Dave Hogh, my science partner." You explained to May.
"Oh, hi!" May smiled, "You and Pete aren't partners?"
You shook your head, "New partners," You looked over to Peter, "We're going to go work in the room. Can you stay out of it for a bit?"
Peter nodded, "I guess."
May looked over to Peter when you and Dave walked away, "Where is your partner?"
"We got enough work done in class to not have to worry about it," Peter started, "Unlike those two, who just flirted the whole time." Peter crossed his arms and threw his stuff onto the couch.
After a half-hour, Peter needed something out of the shared room. So he gladly decided to make his way into the bedroom to grab his camera. When Peter walked in, he quickly thought to you what he was doing, and you let it slide. Peter also really wanted to know what you guys were talking about, so he sat on the bed and pretended to look for the battery.
It was awkwardly silent as you and Dave worked. Without even thinking about it, you looked up to Dave and blurted out, "How now, brown cow?"
Dave looked up with a confused look, "Huh?"
You forced out a nervous laugh, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, that was really lame," You started and pushed your hair behind your ear, "Whenever it's awkwardly silent, my brother and I always say random things to break the silence- just a habit I guess." You awkwardly laughed it off, and Peter could tell that you were trying to flirt.
"Well, I thought it was cute."
Peter's head whipped around to look at Dave, "Get out!" He yelled at Dave and caused both of you to jump.
"What the hell, Peter?" You scrunched your face.
"What did you guys even get done in the last half-hour?" Peter was even more pissed than before, and you didn't even know that was possible.
"Well," Dave started, "I kissed her."
Peter's hands turned into a fist as you leaned over to Dave with a slight blush on your face, "Are you asking for your death?" You whispered, and Dave's eyes widened.
Peter looked directly at you, "He needs to leave. Right now."
"Bye Dave," You said to him, knowing that if you didn't have him go, Peter would murder him on the spot.
"What about our project?" Dave asked.
"I'll help her with it, hell, I'll even put your name on it. Just leave!" Peter walked over and grabbed Dave's bag off the floor, and threw it at him.
Dave quickly got up and rushed to the door, "See you tomorrow, babe."
Your eyes grew, not thinking he would call you that, "Dave, leave."
Dave nodded and shut the door, leaving your apartment. Peter locked the bedroom door so that Dave couldn't come back in, or even May wouldn't see what would happen.
Peter then walked over to the attic access and made his suit fall out. "Peter, what are you doing?"
"I'm going to go talk to him!" Peter yelled, lightly pushing you out of the way, but not enough to hurt you.
"Pete, don't." You stopped him.
"Give me a single reason why not tell him off!" Peter was just about ready to change; he had already grabbed more webbing.
"Because if fucking Spider-Man goes to tell someone to leave me alone, he will know it's you!" You argued back, and Peter sat on the bed.
"There, see, calm," You took his suit out of his hands and threw it back up in its storage spot, "Do aliens have dicks?"
Peter laughed, "Yeah, probably."
Later that night, after helping you with your science project, Peter was snooping around the apartment. He had to make sure you were asleep and that he could sneak out. He grabbed out his onesie and swung outside. Somehow, he knew exactly where Dave would be.
Peter figured out that he would be coming home from his bozo of a friend's house, and it gave him a perfect chance to drop by Dave.
Out of nowhere, Dave's hand was stuck to a lamppost by a web. "What the-"
"Dave, right?" Peter tried to lower his voice.
"Spider-Man?" Dave asked, "W-What's going on?" Dave asked.
"I hear you're bugging the Parker twins," Peter started, "And I need you to leave both of them alone before I have to be the one to do something about it."
"What? I'm not bugging anyone! I was just paired up with (Y/N) for a project-"
"I don't need to hear it," Peter stopped him, "Just leave them alone."
"You got it!" Dave yelled and quickly pulled out his pocket knife to cut himself out of the web as Peter swung away.
"Peter Parker!" You yelled the next morning, "What the hell did you do?"
Peter just smiled, "What are you talking about, my darling sister?"
"You know I'm the older one, right?" You cocked an eyebrow.
"So? I'm the brother who is supposed to protect!" Peter defended.
You smirked, "No defending for a week." You said, teleported back to your room, grabbed his suit, and teleported away to hide the suit.
"Shit," Peter muttered.