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Part 2 of The Batboys Being Assholes
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Published:
2022-04-10
Updated:
2025-08-03
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Breaking and Entering IN SPACE

Summary:

Dick needs help for a mission to break into The Watchtower. Unfortunately, when the mission goes sideways, Batman isn't present to bail him and his partner out.

It was a simple mission really. Oracle needed some data from The Watchtower. Unfortunately, Batman was off-world on a deep space mission when his communicator had gone offline. This wasn’t much cause for concern as he was with Clark and Diana, and this had happened several times over the past couple of years. However, Batman’s off-world status meant he couldn’t retrieve the data that Oracle needed.

Usually, she would just hack the system, but Tim had installed some new security measures, and Batman’s access codes were needed to bypass them with the bat computer. All of these factors partnered together into the outline for what should have been a straightforward mission. Keywords being should have been.

Notes:

Just a reminder, most of the Justice League doesn't know the batfamily's identities.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Chapter One

Chapter Text

It was a simple mission really. Oracle needed some data from The Watchtower. Unfortunately, Batman was off-world on a deep space mission when his communicator had gone offline. This wasn’t much cause for concern as he was with Clark and Diana, and this had happened several times over the past couple of years. However, Batman’s off-world status meant he couldn’t retrieve the data that Oracle needed. Usually, she would just hack the system, but Tim had installed some new security measures, and Batman’s access codes were needed to bypass them with the bat computer. All of these factors partnered together into the outline for what should have been a straightforward mission. Keywords being should have been.

“Come on, Timmy!” Dick pleaded, “It’ll be fun!”


Tim walked faster away from his oldest brother as Dick sped up to keep pace.
“Hell no," Tim said, annunciating each word, "I’m not breaking into the Justice League headquarters on half an hour of sleep."


As the two turned the corner they were greeted with the sight of an incredibly unenthused butler.
“You most certainly will not Master Timothy. In fact, the only thing you will be doing for the next ten hours is getting a normal amount of sleep for a young man like yourself.”

“Augh. Last time I admit to sleep deprivation to get out of a shitty mission.”


“Language Master Timothy,” Alfred Chided.


“Yes, language Timmy,” Dick snickered behind the younger's back.

 

Dick approached Cass next, as she would be ideal for a stealth mission with her skill set.


“Hey, Cass! I was wondering if you would like to join me for a quick break-in of The Watchtower?”
Cass shook her head in dismissal.


“What why not?”
The sister sighed before starting to sign, “Stupid idea. Don’t want to.”

“I love stupid ideas!” a voice rang out from the other side of the living room. There, sprawled out on what was probably a designer couch, was Stephanie Brown. Who, notably, does not live here. She was stretched out over the couch like a cat. Cell phone in one hand, blue raspberry slushie in the other. The condensation from the slushie would collect at the bottom of the cup and drip onto the couch every few seconds. Each time, Dick cringed internally.


“Can I go?”


“Absolutely not.”


“What! Why not? It would be fun!”


“It would absolutely not be fun,” Dick stated, “Last time you went on a stealth mission it was covered in most major news outlets.”


“Yeah well Uncle Clark was working on that story, so I don’t know how you wanted me to hide from goddamn Superman, Dick”


“You know we have actual ways of doing that, right Steph?” Dick asked his pseudo-sister.


“We do?”


“I am the obvious choice,” Damian chimed in, interrupting the two's mildly concerning conversation.


“Does no one in this family know what a private conversation is?”

 

“No. However, I am clearly the best choice for the mission. I am second-best at stealth out of all of our siblings, and I have the layouts of the watchtower-”


“Memorized,” Dick finished, “We all do. You aren’t going, Damian.”


“Why not!”


“Because I’m not taking you to space without telling Bruce. I’m no moron.”

 

Damian scoffed, mumbling something like, "could have fooled me," before retreating to his room and a comfortable silence fell over the room. Well, it was mostly silent. Stephanie only tried two more times before she gave up and went back to whatever she was doing on her phone. Dick honestly didn’t want to know, he had his own problem. As he opened the contact he had been deliberating on for the past few minutes he sighed before hitting the call button.

 

“DONT STOP MAKE IT DROP DJ-” The song blasted from the kitchen. From the doorway which connected the two rooms, Jason Todd, in full Red Hood gear stepped out.
“Jesus took you long enough. I was starting to get bored.”


“Have you been here the whole time?” Dick asked, startled.


“Waiting for you to call me? Yeah. I was starting to think you were actually let Steph go.”


“Hey!” I’m not taking this from a grown man with TiK ToK as his ringtone.” Steph jabbed from her place on the couch. Cass only smirked, still entranced in whatever book she was reading.


“What’cha got there little sis’?”


“Big sister actually.”


“That’s debatable. Anyways Dickie, are you gonna pick your jaw up off the floor, or do I have to drag the both of us to the cave myself?”


“Cave, right,” Dicked pulled himself out of his chair and started with his brother down to the Batcave.

 

It was dark, as usual, but as the boys made their way to the bat computer they noticed it already displayed Dick’s mission plans. As the two approached the chair sitting in front of the computer, it swiveled to reveal their youngest brother, Damian Wayne.


“Todd, I see you will be joining us on the mission.”


“Not us,” Dick corrected, “Just me.”


“Scram kiddo. We have work to do,” Jason added.


Jason ruffled the younger’s hair as the boy stormed off, “Do that again and I shall wreak mighty vengeance upon you.”

 

“We weren't like that were we?” Jason asked.


“I wasn’t, but you were for like a hot minute”


“Eh,” Jason shrugged, “fair enough.”


The two looked over at the open files.
“So, Dickwing, what’s the plan?”

 

The plan was simple enough. The two would break in while Green Arrow and Flash were on monitor duty, as no one would be watching the cameras. Jason and Dick also were least likely to be persecuted by Arrow and Flash as they have prior relations. The mantle of Flash is filled with Dick’s best friend Wally West and Jason is the boyfriend of Green Arrow’s adopted son Roy Harper.

 

To enter the Watchtower, the two would use a zeta pad that was located in the hanger. They would then travel to the main hall and download the data needed from the main computer. The plan was to then retrace their steps back to the exit and remain unseen. The only danger of this mission was that they were going in costume, and Nightwing and Redhood’s affiliation to The Bat was not a well-known fact within the league. In fact, the only people aware of this within the league are Wally, Clark, and Diana. The latter two were actively off-world, so Wally was the fallback. They would depart in two hours.

 

“So we’re just in and out, right?” Jason asked.


“Yup,” Dick popped the p, “Pretty easy, but we cannot be caught. Is that clear?”


“Crystal.”

Chapter 2: Chapter Two

Summary:

The impossible happens.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Dick tested his bonds carefully. They seemed to be meta-inhibiting which was unnecessary but appreciated. The cuffs were solid steel and held Dick’s arms behind the backrest of his chair, to which his feet were also beyond individually to each leg. He and Jason had their backs to one another both in their own chairs. Their captors hadn’t removed the two from the main room which was an interesting choice, but at least Dick could admire his surroundings in peace.
“Easy mission aye, Bigbird?”
“Shut up Hood,” Dick retorted, rolling his eyes. So much for peace and quiet. As the brothers waited for their captors’ return he thought about how it went incredibly wrong incredibly quickly.

After suiting up the two had headed to the Batcave’s zeta tube. Jason had opted for his “V” logo suit to detract from any association with the bats. Which, Dick will admit, was a good choice on his part. The two entered the tube and felt it take effect. In a split second, they were in The Watchtower. More specifically, they were in the hanger of The Watchtower, but they were there in it nonetheless. Jason doubled over slightly as their clearances rang out.
“Nightwing, B-1”
“Red Hood, B-2”
“Oh, god,” Jason groaned, “I don’t know how you’re used to that.”
“It takes some time believe me,” Dick responded casually before looking around.

The hanger was brightly lit, expansive, and very empty. There was a scattering of cameras around the room with small red lights blinking in sync. Luckily, Oliver and Wally wouldn’t be watching, but it wouldn’t hurt to avoid them nonetheless. Dick plotted out the optimal route in his mind while waiting for Jason to return to his side.
“Okay,” Dick started, “We’ll walk around the left-hand wall and-”
“Cross after the third camera and walk in the blind spot before disabling the camera by the door. Got it,” Jason finished.

Dick nodded and the two crept along the wall feeling the seams between the cool panels of steel. After they hit the third camera they passed through the cameras’ blind spot in the center of the room. From their position, Dick threw a small video disrupter disc at the camera watching the door. Jason approached first and pulled a Batarang out of his pocket popping the cover off the card reader that was required to enter the main headquarters. It revealed a series of wires and the main scanner piece as well as a small speaker. Dick watched in amazement as his younger brother manipulated the wires before pulling out what looked like a hotel card. Jason replaced the cover on the scanner and touched his card to it. The light went green and the door opened.

“How did you do that?” Dick asked.
“I rewired the system to where when it receives an incorrect frequency it opens instead of locking,” Jason answered calmly.
“And I thought tech was more Tim’s thing.”
“It is, so I let him do it most of the time.”
The two entered the now opened hallway and passed several unlabeled rooms before the main room came into view. It was impressively large with a massive window on one side and a Zeta-Tube opposing it. Across from where the boys entered was the Justice League computer. Cautiously, they approached the computer, but as no alarm went off they walked quicker. After they reached the computer Dick began typing.
“How come we have access to the main computer, but not the JL’s data overall?” Jason asked.
“We don’t,” Dick replied, “The software is what changed and we can’t hack that yet. The hardware, however, is doable. Same system as the Batcave.”

Dick hit the last key and the screen lit up with files. Dick navigated to the folder that Barbara requested and downloaded the file onto the Nightwing-themed flash drive she had sent with him. He then offloaded and opened the zip file Barbara had left on the flash drive. A file window opened and ran a concerning amount of code before closing itself.
“I know I should have asked before taking the drive, but I have no idea what that did,” Dick said, mild concern in his voice.
“Should we be worried, or-” Jason began to ask before he was cut off abruptly by a deep voice.

It was then that Dick realized the first problem with his plan. As he turned to face Hawkman he was greeted by the fact that other Justice League members can exist in The Watchtower at any given time. Not that there was a way to avoid this, but still, it should have been considered and planned for.
“Bruce is gonna be pissed,” Dick whispered to no one in particular.
“Yup,” Jason replied, popping the p.
“No need to worry about the flash drive, villain. You have more pressing matters to attend to,” Hawkman said, projecting his voice throughout the room.
“Indeed,” Hawkwoman agreed as she entered the room alongside him.
Dick sighed and stealthy snatched the flash drive from its port with some hope of getting it back to Babs. He then raised his hands in yielding and nudged Jason to do the same. Surprisingly, Jason did, though with much more reluctance and a much louder sigh.

Despite their surrender, Hawkwoman left and returned with restraints and chairs. As the two began with Jason, binding him to one of the chairs Jason let out another sigh of annoyance.
“I’m sorry if this is inconvenient young man,” Hawkman said condescendingly, “But seeing as you are the Red Hood, known Gotham crime boss, it is necessary to take you into some form of custody. Until we can have a cell prepared you will be held here.”
“We must also alert the rest of the watchtower of the break-in,” Hawkwoman says as she began restraining Nightwing.
“Wait! Why are you arresting him?” Jason asked.
“He was an accomplice to a criminal in a clear attempt to steal data,” Hawkman stated as he made his way to the computer and looked at the USB ports.
“Attempt?” Jason prompted.
“Not the time, Hood,” Dick said through gritted teeth.
Hawkman walked over to Dick and retrieved the flash drive from his fisted hand, “Yes, attempt,” he slid the thumb drive into his pocket before exiting the room. Hawkwoman followed after she finished restraining Dick.

“Right, that’s how,” Dick sighed, having finished his review of events.
“What?” Jason replied.
“Nothing. Do you have a plan on how to get out yet?”
“Not fully,” Jason admitted, “They didn’t remove any of our equipment which is an interesting choice, but they said that they were alerting the rest of the league.”
“How do you think they plan to do that?” Dick asked.
At that moment, an alarm sounded off and flashing lights lit up the room, and presumably the rest of The Watchtower.
“I’m guessing that’s how,” Dick said as he answered his own question.
“You just had to say something didn’t you,” Jason bemoaned.

Simultaneously, the hawks re-entered the room and a door down the hallway that Jason and Dick had entered from was kicked open. Flash and Green Arrow, Wally West, and Oliver Queen respectively, ran into the room. Wally was carrying a tub of ice cream and Oliver was holding a spoon as if it were a weapon.
“Heya, Walls!” Dick said, waving despite his hands being restrained.
“Oh thank god it’s just you,” Wally sighed, relaxing.
“YOU!” Oliver shouted pointing to Jason.
“Me? Oh fu-”

It was then Jason realized the second glaring issue with their plan. Oliver Queen does not know Red Hood is dating Arsenal. It was then, in his sudden moment of clarity, that Jason remembered two other very important things. One, Roy told Jason on several occasions that Ollie doesn’t like Roy hanging around with Red Hood because Jason is still registered as a villain in the JL computers. That was why Roy decided not to tell Ollie about their relationship. The second and more relevant realization that popped into Jason’s head was that Oliver Queen doesn’t know Batman’s identity and therefore does not know that the Batfamily is, a family.

“-ck.”
“You know these intruders?” Hawkman asked.
“What? No! Of course not!” Wally kicked a small lockpick he had dropped on the ground over to Dick, who began to unlock his and Jason's feet before moving to their hands, “Why would you think that I know them?”
“That one,” Oliver pointed to Jason, “Is one of Batman’s villains. I don’t know the other, but he likely has some sort of relationship with the Bat. Though, it likely isn’t positive.”
“Harsh,” Jason mumbled mockingly.
“We really need to fix that villain listing thing huh?” Dick asked.
“Yeah probably.”

Hawkman approached the two inquisitively, “Young man, what affiliation do you have with Batman?” He asked Dick.
“Batman?” Dick asked mock innocence in his tone, “Never met him!”
Both Jason and Wally lost it at that. But where Wally attempted to maintain some kind of composure, Jason let out a loud bellowing laugh.
“Well you clearly have some relationship and unfortunately for the two of you, Batman is on his way here now.”
At that exact moment, the Zeta tube sprung to life. It lit up and started spewing a long line of clearance codes as a pile of costumed children fell out before leaping into action. Three, whom Jason could hardly register as Tim, Duke, and Stephanie rushed over to assist him and Dick. As soon as both Jason and Dick registered the situation they stood up shedding all restraints. Dick tossed the lockpick back over to Wally just in time for the speedster to catch it before fleeing the scene.

Green Arrow, alongside the Hawks, attempted to engage in a fight. However, Both of the Hawks were quickly overtaken by the combined efforts of Stephanie, Duke, and Tim. Green Arrow was left fighting Damian who launched himself at the archer. Jason went to help Damian, and Dick went to attempt to start re-entering clearance codes into the Zeta-Tube.
“Robin! What the hell?,” yelled Oliver, “Why are you helping these intruders?”
He was met only with screaming and a blade.

The room was filled with a deafening din of shouts and the sound of weapons clashing against one another. Periodic flashes of light from Duke lit the room as well. When it seemed like the three League members were about to lose the battle, a green light joined Duke’s gold. Hal Jordan, who was presumably in the building, entered the fray and, using his ring, made a large net to round up the family.
“Green Lantern to the rescue,” he announced, in case anyone who was not in the room two seconds ago had just stumbled in and could not possibly put together what had happened.

Dick did a quick mental tally of those present in the net. Himself, Jason, Tim, Duke, and Steph. He had not seen Cass or Barbara in the fray at all, but Damian’s absence was strange.
“Ayo, Demon Brat!” Jason shouted, having the same realization, “Mind speeding this up a bit?”
As if on cue Damian dropped from the ceiling and snatched the ring off of Hal Jordan’s hand causing the net to dissipate and deposit the family onto the ground. Jordan fell from his spot where had been floating in the air and landed unceremoniously on the ground. Damian landed gracefully on his feet beside the man.

As the ring was snatched back from Damian’s grasp and pulled onto its owner’s hand, the Batfamily rushed the now four leaguers into the room. Dick and Damian rushed Hawkman, Jason took Green Arrow because gun beats arrow, rubber bullets or not, Tim and Steph ran at Hawkwoman, and Duke took on Green Lantern. The cacophony of shouting built back up as the fight continued until it was abruptly cut off by a new group entering the room.

Superman and Wonder Woman flew in, launching Batman from where he was being carried so that he could land in the center of the room. While the league members continued their shouting, they were quickly drowned out by the deafening science that enveloped the room as all teenage and young adult heroes stopped fighting and just stood silently. Even Flash, who had returned to the breakroom from which he came poked his head out to watch.
“Sorry to Interrupt,” Clark started, “I heard the shouting from the hanger and assumed there was a break-in!”
“There was!” Hal exasperated.
“Quiet,” Wonder Woman said, as Batman landed.

Batman, who had placed himself in the center of the room turned to observe the full situation, met eyes with each of his children who seemed to all be repressing laughter, and sighed before speaking.
“Black Bat, you can come out now.”
A black form dropped from the ceiling and landed silently next to him. She waved to Clark and Diana who seemed to be having a hard time suppressing their laughter at Bruce’s predicament. Bruce walked over to the Justice League computer, looked at it for two seconds, sighed again, and simply said, “Oracle? I assume you're here too?”
The screen lit up bright purple and displayed a large eye symbol.
“You got it, Batman,” Barbara’s voice filled the room, “I have the footage if you want it.”

“Batman! You can’t possibly let these intruders off the hook! They were attempting to steal data from the League!” Hawkman protested.
At that, Bruce did raise an eyebrow under the cowl, “Attempting?”
Dick smirked, “Might want to double-check that word choice, bud,” he said as he proudly held up the flash drive.”
Bruce’s mouth tugged up in a hardly noticeable smile before quickly schooling his emotions. It was intentionally too late as his gaggle of children caught it and beamed before erupting into conversation.
“They didn’t even search us B-man!” Jason shouted, “They let me keep my guns, boot knife, lockpicks, everything!”
“I stole Hal’s ring, Batman,” Damian said proudly.
“He totally did!” Stephanie chimed in, “You should have seen the look on his face!”
“Duke took Lantern all by himself, with the ring!” Tim added, “You should have seen it! It was amazing.”
“That was nothing! You hacked the Zeta beam system and allowed all of us to enter at once,” Duke replied.
“B, guess what?” Dick prodded, “They thought Hood and I were metas, they used the special cuffs and everything. It was hilarious.”

Despite the ongoing chatter that followed the Dark Knight around, he and Cass silently walked up the Zeta beam and continued Dick’s work of logging in all the access codes.
“Alright,” he finally said, drowning out the chatter, “line up starting with Signal. Assume order from there.”
As instructed the group got into line. The first few went through leaving only Tim, Jason, Dick, and Bruce with the League. Hawkman approached Bruce, so Bruce motioned for Tim to wait, stopping the last three from going through.

“There is something I don’t understand,” Hawkman started, “How are you affiliated with these young vigilantes and why does Robin fight alongside a registered villain and his accomplice?”
“We really need to get that villain thing changed,” is all Bruce said in response.
“But what about those other heroes? How does Robin know them?” Hawkman continued.
“What do you think happened to the other Robins?” Jason chided.
“I always assumed they were Batman’s kids or something,” Green Arrow jokingly shrugged.
“Hn.”
“Oh my god, they are.”
“Well,” Tim said, over his brothers’ laughter, “His kids plus a few stragglers.”

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! This was my first multichapter fic, and I hope you enjoyed.

Chapter 3: Gala time? Gala time.

Summary:

And now for something completely different!

Notes:

Heeyyyy. So, I forgot I said I would update this. I got a comment from Aria_Knight which reminded me, so…. Here’s a new chapter! Hope you all enjoy it! Thank you all for your continued support and lovely messages. In coming back to this fic I have read them all. Your kind words of encouragement (and some of despair) were what solidly pushed this update. OH! And another thing– last one promise –the title of this fic is from Pigs in Space which is a recurring segment on The Muppet Show. I just wanted to make that public knowledge. Okay! Peace and love!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Right,” Batman started the meeting with a sigh, “Oracle was gracious enough to obtain the footage of the… breach of the Watchtower. As you know, today’s schedule has been cleared to review said footage. I have already done so and have outlined points of failure.” Batman began passing out packets, “You are to review the footage, focusing on the points of failure, and follow the regimens meant to prevent errors in the future. Is that clear?”

A chorus of apprehensive affirmations filled the conference room of the Watchtower. Bruce went to play on the footage, but paused as a hand shot up in the corner of his vision.
“Yes, Lantern?”

“I see that conditioning regimens are included in this- what did you call it- review, how are running suicides related to improving security?”

Batman’s expression morphed slightly, incomprehensibly, he turned away from the monitor, meeting Hal’s gaze, “You’re a military man, Jordan. You should know the sway physical reinforcement has over the mind.”

The silence as the footage rolled was brutal. The only thing that may have been worse was the bat’s scathing gaze as Jordan’s ring was snatched off his finger. The only thing that was certainly worse was the two-hour conditioning session that followed the end of the footage. Green Lantern found himself limping alongside his friend, his brother in green-clad arms, Green Arrow, Oliver Queen.

“Do you think it’s fair?”

“Do I think what’s fair, that we have to do the same conditioning as aliens and demigods? No, Hal. No, I don’t.”

“It’s not that it's- Jesus Christ,” Hal paused, arching back in pain, “It’s kind of that, but I’m talking about the Bat.”

“Ah”

“Yeah! He knows everything about us, and we can’t see beyond his pasty chin? It’s bull.”

“You know I’m with you on this, man. I don’t care for that little trinity of holier-than-thou divine right of knowledge nonsense they have going on… but-”

“But?”

“The world will be destroyed three times over without them,” Oliver finished.

“Yeah,” Hal shrugged, “You know what I mean, though… anyways, you wanna hit Chick’n’Boys?

Yours in Star, not the one in Coast. Dry as hell.”

“Oh yeah, no. We’re never going back there.”

“So you're down?” Hal grinned.

“I can’t this time. Sorry, man!”

“Are you kidding me? Better not be for your rich boy schtick.”

“Actually…” Ollie trailed off, caught.

“You’re kidding,” Hal replied flatly, “What could be worth ditching post-training protein!”

“Remind me why you’re going to this one again,” Dinah sighed from the bed. Their bed. God, Ollie wished he could join her, but-

“It’s not just a Gala. It’s one of Bruce’s,” Ollie answered, failing to straighten his bowtie.

“So what?” Dinah propped herself up, the sheets pooling around her waist, “He hosts ten a year. You can stand to be an hour late. For me.”

“You make an excellent point, dear,” Oliver said, abandoning his bowtie on the floor, “He can wait.”

 

“You’re late,” Roy shouted across the parking lot, “I've been standing outside your bourgeois building for so long men started tossing me their keys,” he complained, leaning against the passenger side door of Oliver’s car.

“Sorry, Roy. A little birdie called me, and I couldn't ignore her.”

“Ew. Just for that, I’m driving,” Roy swung open the door.

“Fine, but we gotta pick someone up on the way,” Oliver conceded, sliding into the passenger seat, “And it's not gross to love your wife. You’ll understand someday.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Starting to wish I hung back with Dinah,” Roy pulled out of the lot. A notification from Jason popped up on his lock screen; he swiped it away before Oliver noticed, “She’s got the right idea. Screw the champagne and small talk, I should be eating Cheetos and watching Desperate Housewives reruns.

“Who are we picking up anyway?” he continued, “I thought Connor swore these things off.”

“He did. Pull over here.”

“What are we picking up at the dry cleaner? Oh, Jesus Christ,” Roy let his head hit the steering wheel upon seeing Hal Jordan waving enthusiastically as he approached the car.

“Hey, guys!” Hal said, ducking into the car, “Roy, what’s happening, my guy. Thanks for picking me up from the dry cleaner. The last time I wore my tux, it got coated in space goo.”

“Space goo is all we're getting?” Oliver questioned.

“Oh, you want to hear more? It started when I lost a bet to Evil Star II and-”

“Oh my god, Bruce is gonna kill them,” Roy muttered as Hal continued on. Endlessly.

Exiting Gotham proper was always an ordeal, especially on a Friday night, but after fighting through rush traffic in the Bowery, it was smooth sailing through the park and over the Kane bridge, to Wayne Manor they went. The manor was a spot of glowing yellow-orange light in the dark suburbia of Gotham. The energy of the Gala could be felt from the road. The swirl of chatter, champagne, and opulence only intensified as the group got to the manor.

“Having second thoughts, Hal? I’m sure a streak of neon green in the sky wouldn’t draw too much attention if you had to make a quick retreat,” Roy taunted.

“Probably wouldn’t get the notice of this group, no, but the last thing I need is the Bat getting on my ass.”

“Hal’s fine!" Oliver answered in lieu of Hal’s sidestepping of the question, “Bruce was one of my closest friends through school. I’m sure you two will get along. Super friendly guy!”

Roy pulled the car up to the valet at the front, dropping the keys off with the man stationed there. He seemed a bit… off. The suit he was wearing didn’t seem to fit, the man’s face was scruffy and scarred, and the hint of a large tattoo peeked out of the top of his collar.

Figuring that Bruce definitely background checked his employees, Roy didn’t give the man another thought and dropped the keys in his hand. Oliver and Hal didn’t pay any attention to anyone as they quipped back and forth endlessly into the entryway of the party.

After half an hour of sterile greetings and well-wishes with their fellow party-goers, Oliver, Roy, and Hal finally came face-to-face with the man of the evening.
“Bruce! Great to see you. Man, it feels like it’s been forever!”

“Ollie! So glad you could make it. I trust the trip from Star wasn’t too taxing.”

“Not at all! I actually brought a couple of tagalongs with me, hope you don’t mind,” Oliver gestured towards where Roy and Hal stood.

“Roy, good to see you. Hope Lian’s doing well.”
At that, Oliver perked up. He knew Roy used to be close to Dick Grayson, Bruce’s oldest, but Oliver thought that tie was severed alongside many of Roy’s friends from adolescence. Plus, Oliver had done a fair amount of legwork to keep Lian out of the society pages, so how…

“She is, thank you for asking, Bruce.”

“And this is?” Bruce gestured towards Hal Jordan.

“Jordan, Hal,” the man stepped forward, hand out. Bruce shook his hand politely, but was clearly uninterested in the brunette member of Oliver’s trio.

“Pleasure,” Bruce nodded civilly towards Hal, before addressing Oliver and Roy solely, “I'd better be off. My children are all in attendance tonight, and I’m trying to keep the Wayne name off the front pages,” he paused, “For once.”

As Bruce walked away, Oliver glanced around the room. Confirming their father’s statement, various Wayne children were scattered about the large ballroom. Dick was entertaining a gaggle of local debutantes, Damian, uninterested, at his side. Tim was engaging with the older crowd, likely associates from Wayne Enterprises. Duke Thomas, the newest member of Bruce’s ever-growing family, had a crowd of his own, laughing along with the younger members of high society; they all looked to be in the later years of high school, like Duke himself.

Cassandra, Oliver thought, was nowhere to be found. Until Roy knocked Oliver’s shoulder with his own and pointed to where the girl stood on the upper balcony of the room, observing the partygoers.

“Thanks, how’d you know I was looking for her?”

“She’s the hardest to find,” Roy answered easily, “She likes to keep watch, and a distance from strangers.”

“And that! How do you know Bruce’s family? How does Bruce know about yours?”

Roy glanced back up to where Cassandra was standing, the girl now meeting his gaze and giving a slight smile. Unfortunately, Oliver caught that too, his eyebrows somehow raising higher than before.
“I didn’t think you and Dick were still close!”

“We aren’t. Not really,” Roy fiddled with the cuffs of his sleeves, uncomfortable.

“Uh, guys?” Hal interjected just as the noise of gunfire filled the room.

Screams erupt as the guests drop to the ground. Oliver, Roy, and Hal drop into crouches. Oliver scanned the room; no one appeared to have been injured. The gunfire was a warning then, an announcement.

Notes:

One more to go after this!

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed it! The next chapter will be out shortly! Man, what could happen next? ;)

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