Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The streets of L’Manburg were always cold at night. Without the Sun’s relentless heat, the tropical island oasis became a frigid wasteland. Yet, the city thrived in its extreme temperatures, and being home to one of the biggest trade markets in all of the 5 nations. 

This night, however, there would be the start to one of the biggest squabbles throughout the community, disrupting (and adding a little fun) to the lives of anyone fortunate unlucky enough to see it.

Running what is essentially a country is difficult, especially when you’re the face and brains of the operation. Now, you see, Wilbur enjoys his work, but it just… gets to him sometimes. Especially when two certain people love to make your life difficult for you. Honestly, couldn't they just keep the property damage to a minimum?

“…Oh great, more fucking paperwork.”

You can see what he means. 

Just one. Fucking. Day.

“OH MY GOD DID YOU FUCKING SEE THAT? IT WENT BOOM BOOM AND IS JUST FUCKIN’ GONE! OH HE’S GONNA BE SO PISSED ABOUT THIS ONE!”

Just. One. Day.

Please.

Chapter Text

God, school was so mind numbing. Why did he even show up today? Was the only thought crossing Tommy’s mind. How could he think of anything else when his brain felt like warm jello? Hmm. Jello. Jello sounds good right about now actually. Damn, would Tommy kill for some jello. 

As the bell finally rang and the stupidity that is Geometry had ended, Tommy rushed to leave as soon as he could, practically running out of the room and down the hall. Unfortunately for Tommy, he forgot to account for his friend’s…shorter stature, and was grabbed from behind before he could make it very far. Strike one.

“Tommy, if you run off without me and I can’t catch up I will personally remove your spinal fluid.”

Well damn, straight to the point. 

“Not my fault you can’t keep up with my superhuman speeds,” he snarked. Strike two.

As Tommy looked down at Tubbo, he very soon realized just how close he was to meeting Phil’s ‘wife.’

“WHAT I meant to say was; sorry Big Man, I’ll slow myself down for your tiny legs.” Strike three! Batter’s out! 

As Tubbo stopped walking, the color drained from Tommy’s face. 

Welp. He’s dead.

And he fucking booked it down the hall.

As Techno was lounging around on the couch, scrolling through the seemingly endless channels of media, he spotted something rather... peculiar. Right there, on station 4631, was Wilbur Soot in all his glory. 

Why hadn’t he told them he was going to be making an announcement? Broadcasting across the city, no less. What could possibly be this-

“As of late last night, there had been an escape of the 23 most-wanted convicts. We’re using the best of our abilities to track these villains down and recapture them. It would be in the people’s best interest to stay inside at night, and to not talk with any suspicious individuals. If you do find any of these fiends, please report them to your local police station immediately. Stay safe.”

As the news channel began to play other events, Techno had a moment of introspection. 

“What if I were to do it?”

Wilbur was decidedly, having a pretty shit day. First, his coffee tasted like a burnt mess. Then, he gets multiple phone calls at five in-the-fucking morning telling him that some of the most dangerous people on their secluded island of a city-state had escaped and could be anywhere. And finally, he has a shit-ton of paperwork to do now because the police station couldn’t do their fucking job.

 Well, at least this means he can finally put some funding into getting better police officers. At least there’s one positive here. 

But, now what? Ask for help from the neighboring empire? Nope. Bad idea on so many levels. Hire new police officers? He fucking wishes. 

“Fuck. I think my only option here is to just send out the people I have and hope some of the civilians help. Jesus, this is such a shit show.”

Wilbur’s head shoots up from its place in his hands as a knock comes from the door in front of him, completely derailing his spiraling thought process. 

“May I come in?”

“Come in already Alex, you know you’re always welcome.”

As Quackity enters, he shuts the door quietly behind himself, a grim look covering his face.

“I’m afraid we might have another problem.”

Chapter Text

Yeah, remind Tommy never to upset Tubbo again. Having his ankles physically ache was punishment enough. Now that that little debacle was over with, the two eventually made it to Deedee’s Diner. 

 As they made their way over their usual corner booth, a rather tall waiter came to greet them. 

“Ranboo! Mahh frienddd!” Was, of course, shouted in an unusually loud manner. Must be Tommy.

Ranboo sighed as he mentally prepared himself for the casual embarrassment that is Tommy.

“Yes, yes, come to bother the poor retail worker again?”

“Why of course, oh tall one,” was drawled as sarcastically as Tubbo physically could. 

“Okay, but seriously now, what do you guys want? I know you usually bother me at work, but something seems… off this time, and I’d rather really not get wrapped up in your hijinks again.”

“Well, big man, we’ve been paying attention to the news lately, and we quite want to “help the cause,” as my dear brother said.”

“Yeahhhhhh no.”

“But Ranboo! Imagine the fu- good we could cause, wouldn’t you? We could really do something to… benefit the community.” 

Ranboo really was not liking the look on Tubbo’s face right now, if he was being honest. He was dawning that look that just screamed, ‘Let’s fight fire with fire!’ Which in combination with the absolutely mischievous look on Tommy’s face did not pair well in the slightest. 

Well, it can’t hurt to hear them out, can it?

Yes, yes it can. That was the only thing Wilbur could think after asking the terrible question of, “Can it get worse?”

He soon learned the answer when of all people, he saw a man clad in bright, neon fucking green. Why? No seriously why?? Mans was wearing full neon green with a stark white mask to top it off. If Wilbur didn’t know better, he would’ve thought the man was a cosplayer.

“Dream?” 

The man immediately shot his head up, face contorting into several emotions before the man turned the other way and sprinted like an Olympic track star. 

“Wait! You smily bastard!”

Seriously, what was the fucking chance he ran into Dream of all people? Like, no seriously why? He was one of the 23 escapees, why the hell was he wearing the full ‘Dream’ getup? It just didn’t add up. 

Unfortunately for Wilbur, Dream was just too damn fast. Soon, he was lost to the rooftops, a panting Wilbur left behind.

“HOW THE FUCK DOES HE EVEN DO THAT??”

Technoblade was having a bit of a tough time. He wanted to help, since he’d heard all about Wilbur’s complaints of the ‘useless police for of L’Manburg so incompitent they couldn’t tell a murder scene from a homicide investigation,’ whatever that meant. 

So yeah, Techno felt like doing some good today. The real issue was how. What, he can’t just walk up and ‘capture’ some criminals, Yeah, totally plausible. But like, was it really that easy? Well, it never hurts to try, right?

Chapter Text

Welp, I’ve done it again boys :D

I’ve decided to rewrite it and actually flesh out the world. I don’t like the world building and direction I have it in now, so I will be transferring that over to the new fic, some things being different, some things being the same.

I really went all out on the world building this time, so expect a map and honest to God socioeconomic governments and systems. I...may have hyper focused a little... (Hell, I did so much on this that if I felt like it, I could make either a political-fantasy AU or a Royal AU or something. But that’s for later boredom ;) ).

Anyways, I’ll actually be making an outline for the first time in my goddamn life, so hopefully expect an actual book for once. I have no idea when I’ll post the first chapter, but the Prologue won’t be too dissimilar to the one on this fic.

Once I have the set up for the fic, I’ll be trying to actually motivate myself to write, one of those ways being, ‘fuck it, I’m just gonna use my phone and if there’s mistakes you don’t fuckin see them.’

The new fic will be in a series and I’ll hopefully never have to rewrite the damn thing again. (This is the second fic I have done this method for I am so sorry-)

Anywho! That’s pretty much all I have to say. I’ll be making an effort to post more, as it’s summer right now, but come August I might be a little skimpy.

Have a nice day/night y’all! And see you soon >:)