Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It wasn't grief or guilt, what Light was feeling.

Those were such profound emotions, emotions he… only vaguely remembered he was able to feel, once upon a time, before the notebook at the very least. Regardless, he knew those feelings were too deep and too raw to possibly be what he was feeling right then. They also didn't entirely line up with the triumph practically coursing like heroin through his veins right then, the ecstasy and excitement bubbling up in his chest. The idea of finally winning this war, finishing his sworn enemy off once and for all - no, it wasn't just the idea. It was reality, now. He couldn't bite back his grin as he stared down into L's wide eyes, gazing almost blankly up at him. His face was going to be the last thing this man saw. He was going to die knowing he was right. Knowing that Light was Kira… and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it, not anymore.

He was going to die.

Light's smile didn't slip, he still felt far too victorious for that, but something deep within him suddenly ached. It wasn't grief or guilt, that he knew for certain, but it was, indeed, a sense of loss. Which he didn't understand, he hadn't lost. He had won, if anything. He had finally won. So what was with this feeling? Possibly… could it be that he felt cheated? Not being able to kill L himself? Not having the satisfaction of being able to write his name down in his own Death Note? That would make sense, after all, it was something Light had been looking forward to ever since the Lind L. Tailor incident. But the longer he stewed over the idea, the more odd it felt to him. He shouldn't feel upset about that. He got what he wanted. He'd gotten rid of L. Maybe not in the way he had originally hoped to, but it was over. He'd finally won their game.

Or maybe that was the issue. Maybe it wasn't the fact that this wasn't the ending he had hoped for, but instead the fact that it was ending at all. That the game was over, his rival was defeated. Ryuzaki had been the only one truly capable of keeping up with him, challenging him with every step. That would be over now, and as relieving as it should have been, Light felt… disappointed.

Damn, that sounded so fucked up… but it was the only explanation, and it felt right in his mind. Like a puzzle piece settling into place. Maybe some part of him had always known it would be too simple without Ryuzaki to get in his way, mess him up from time to time, get into his head and fuck with his mind. And he hadn't really had much time to properly enjoy being back. There was so much he wanted to do, so many ways he wanted to toy with L, now that his memories were intact. And, oh, how fun it would have been! The grin on Light's face softened into something with a touch of fondness as the thought crossed his mind. It would have been great. He'd wanted to see Ryuzaki crack and fumble and falter. He'd wanted to see that brilliant mind crumble into pieces, that calm exterior and arrogance give way to uncertainty and doubt and fear. He'd wanted to shock him, scare him, confront him. Look in his eyes and hear what he had to say, at the end of it, when Ryuzaki finally learned that Light was, and always had been, Kira.

Light's smile vanished, the loss finally hitting him, just as Ryuzaki's eyes suddenly flew open.

He hadn't even realized they had closed.

There was a sharp, sudden gasp, harsh enough to shake both L and Light, before the man in his arms suddenly broke down into a coughing fit, choking and gasping as he scrambled to sit up, grasping fistfuls of Light's shirt and jacket to do so as he pulled himself into a sitting position. To tell you the truth, Light almost let him go, pushed him away. Almost started screaming about how he should be dead and why wasn't he dead? and what the hell why didn't it work was it just an act did something go wrong this isn't supposed to happen this has never happened he was supposed to die what did Rem do he's going to fucking kill her oh god he's still alive he knows I-

If his father wasn't right there, Light may have strangled L to death with his bare hands right then and there. Nevermind the others, they would be easy enough to kill, but his dad? Still, the thought was tempting. He knows. There was no way he didn't, Light had wanted him to know. He'd wanted his face to be the last thing Ryuzaki ever saw, to see his smile and know he'd won. To know the truth, as he took his last breaths. That he had been right all along, Light was Kira.

And now he did fucking know and the motherfucker was still alive and holy shit-

"Ryuzaki!" Oh, right. Other people were there. Light didn't want to let go, didn't want them anywhere near L, so he did what any sane person would do, obviously, and pulled him closer. If the other was… aware enough to notice, he didn't seem to care. He simply continued coughing and gasping and gulping in as much air as he seemed to be able to, gripping his chest with one hand and Light's shirt with the other. His face was paler than usual, his typically-wide eyes somehow wider with shock and a… startling amount of fear that sent a thrill down Light's spine.

"Light, we need to get him to the hospital," his father was saying, hands on his shoulders, not trying to pull him away, but holding tight like he was prepared to. Light hoped he didn't try. He didn't know what the hell he was going to do about this situation. It wasn't looking good for him.

"I'm fine-" Ryuzaki wheezed, and Light's head fucking whirled.

He's supposed to be dead. He is supposed to be dead and he is sitting up and fucking talking. He is supposed to be dead and he is sitting up and fucking talking and he knows that I'm Kira.

"What was that?" Matsuda's voice shook. "I thought the Shinigami- I mean it seemed like-"

Silence fell over the room, save for L's harsh breaths, his entire body shaking as his chest heaved with each gasp of air he drew in and let out. His wide eyes roamed aimlessly, taking in nothing, it seemed. Light held onto him as tight as he could, unsure if his hands were shaking or if it had to do with Ryuzaki's trembling, and waited for the inevitable. For the words to leave his lips. It seems I was right all along. Light is Kira. And what was he supposed to do? Deny it. Deny everything, deny it profusely. If nothing else he was sure his father would be on his side, right? The others he wasn't so sure about, but it couldn't end now, it couldn't end like this, it couldn't end with a glance and a smirk after everything he'd been through, every plan he made.

Was… could this have just been another one of L's tests? Was it fake?

It couldn't be, though, it… it would be over by now if it was. He would have climbed back into his chair, no problem. He would've announced it to the room already. He wouldn't be sitting here shaking in Light's arms, gasping for air and looking around the room so absently that even Light couldn't figure out what was going on in his head. It wouldn't have stretched on his long, it wouldn't have gone this far after L had already gotten what he wanted. So this wasn't fake. Still- what other explanation was there? He was supposed to be dead. He'd- he had died, hadn't he?

"Ryuzaki?" A familiar voice suddenly crackled over the speakers, soft and breathless. "L?"

Ryuzaki's eyes finally focused somewhat, his head swiveling in the direction of the computers. Light tensed a little, unsure what to do if the other tried to pull away, but… he didn't. To Light's surprise, Ryuzaki remained almost contentedly in his arms, surprisingly relaxed despite his trembling form and heavy breaths. He almost seemed to relax more upon recognizing the voice, in fact, and made no move to pull away from Light to get closer to the speakers. "Watari." His voice was barely a whisper, eyes unfocusing once more as his gaze continued to roam the room. "You're okay." The hand fisted into Light's shirt tightened its grip the slightest bit. "How…"

"I don't know what happened. It was so sudden-" Watari cut off with a sudden, harsh cough. L's head twitched toward the computers again, but his eyes were fixated on the floor. "I thought I was going to die." There was a long pause, silence from both ends. "No, I did die. I know I did. But that doesn't make sense…" Another pause, more silence, and then the lights slowly began to click back on, one by one. Light lifted his head, tightened his grip, and watched with wide eyes as the monitors began to flicker back to normal. Some shut off completely, others reopened whatever programs were shown before the blackout. So it wasn't a full data deletion. Watari and L must have had some plan in place to recover it, maybe in case of something like this. Whatever the reason, it wasn't Light's biggest concern. His biggest concern was Ryuzaki.

And, speaking of. L finally, slowly, released his grip on Light's shirt, and turned to look up at him. Light could swear his heart stopped, time froze, blood running cold the second their gazes met.

L stared at him for what felt like forever before speaking. "You can let me go now."

Doubt swirled through the panic in his mind as he forced his hands away, watching his enemy heave himself to his feet. He waved off Matsuda and Soichiro when they moved forward to help him, but Light didn't miss the way his hands shook as he reached down to pull his chair upright and pushed it back into place. He merely remained frozen in his place on the floor, watching intently, until a hand touched his shoulder and another slipped under his arm to pull him to his feet; unable to do little more than murmur his gratitude, he kept his eyes fixed firmly on Ryuzaki.

"I suppose that was traumatic for all of you." Ryuzaki's gaze was now focused on one of the monitors, but he didn't look interested, just dazed. "I'm not entirely sure what just happened, but I can say for certain that the Shinigami just attempted to kill me." His expression shifted, just the slightest bit, just for a moment, but long enough for Light to see the uncertainty that flickered across his face, the doubt and confusion in his eyes, before it vanished once again. "And failed."

Matsuda let out a sudden, sharp breath and stumbled away from the computers, gripping his hair. Soichiro sank down into one of the chairs, pressing his face into his hands with a soft grunt.

Light's nerves slowly began to settle, but he couldn't shake a flicker of nervousness as he watched the other. What was going on? Surely L would have said something by now if he knew. Then… perhaps, somehow, he didn't? Or he was waiting in order to truly catch him off guard. Or until the notebook was at least out of his general vicinity so he couldn't try anything in case the others didn't believe him immediately. It made sense, L wasn't stupid. Of course he wasn't going to say anything right away. He didn't have any proof to back his claims, and even on the off chance that the others could believe him if he were to say something, that wasn't enough reassurance. He had just narrowly avoided dying just now. Light wouldn't take chances either. But L knew he couldn't do anything without his real name… but he also knew about the eyes and that Light could potentially strike a deal with the Shinigami at any moment just to find out. Even if he was smart enough to recognize that if Light was going to do it, he'd have done it by now, he was also smart enough to know that desperate times cause for desperate measures. So he had some insurance, for the time being, that L wasn't going to do anything… not just yet.

Really, what did it change? Light almost relaxed completely at the thought. They were practically right back at square one. Sure, L hadn't always known, but he certainly suspected him deeply. As far as Light was concerned regarding their little game, L might as well have known all along. There was just so very little he could actually do about it, as hard as Light had tried to clear his name and all the evidence that pointed to him being innocent. So this wouldn't change anything. The game was back on, and if anything, it had gotten even more interesting, right? Even better!

He was so close to relaxing, to basking in his victory, when Ryuzaki suddenly spoke again.

"I don't mean to alarm anyone." A beat. "But the notebook is gone."

Chapter Text

"What?!"

"It's gone?"

"That's not possible! It was right there!"

It was right there. Right… there. While the others dissolved into panic, and the room dissolved into chaos, L took a moment to really study what was in front of him. Nothing else on the desk had been moved or disturbed, so it was safe to say he hadn't accidentally knocked it off the table when he'd fallen out of his chair. Still, he made a point to check under the table as he reached down to pick his spoon back up, and was disappointed but unsurprised to see nothing. He straightened up slowly, jaw tensing as his chest tightened and ached and his heart pounded away inside, a vicious reminder of both the fact that he was alive, and the sudden attack that had just occurred that he was far too aware could happen to him again at any given second. If the thought wasn't enough to lead him to clutch his chest, the pain that erupted there sure was.

The others were rushing around, trying to find the notebook. All except for…

Light. L narrowed his eyes, ever so slightly, but was careful to school his expression into a neutral one when he turned to regard the other. The man was frozen, eyes wide and focused on the table where the book had undoubtedly been moments before, at least moments before the attack. With the commotion, L knew it was entirely possible for someone to have swiped the Death Note off of the table while nobody was paying attention, but there was only one person he knew for sure would do that, and he was certain he had only taken his eyes off him for a moment in time, a split second before everything had come rushing back with frightening speed.

Still, it was possible. With Kira, anything was possible. L did have to keep an open mind. It would be just like Light to use the commotion as a distraction in order to get the book, however-

What did that imply, exactly? Was the attack not a murder attempt after all? They had already determined that a user of one of the books could control their victim's actions to a certain degree some time before their actual death, was it too farfetched to assume the book could not only be used to kill people, but to simply hurt them as well? But if Kira or the Shinigami was capable of doing such a thing, why not go all the way and just finish him off? Not to mention if this was part of the book's capabilities, several things didn't add up as to why it wasn't in the rules, or why such a thing hadn't been demonstrated before by any of the people who had been able to use it.

Unless it wasn't Kira's doing, but the Shinigami's… but both Kira and the Shinigami would have just killed him, why bother leaving him alive if there was a greater option? No, while he would keep an open mind about this possibility, L didn't think it was very likely. For now, he determined he would stick with his original conclusion; Kira or the Shinigami had attempted to murder him, and for some unknown reason, while L had been unquestionably, terrifyingly close to death, he was still alive. Not to mention Watari, who was also certain that he had died seconds before L. But what could cause the Death Note to fail? Why had L and Watari been spared? And could it possibly share a connection with the heart attack that Soichiro had before the appearance of the second Kira? All good questions, worth exploring, but it could wait until the book was recovered.

"It's not anywhere!" Matsuda exclaimed. "It's not here!"

L stayed silent for a few more seconds, dragging his thumb over his lower lip as he thought. "Just to be safe I would like to personally perform a thorough search of everyone here to be sure the book isn't currently on any of you." He peeled a small piece of dry skin off of his lip and plucked it to the floor, and focused on Light, who managed to look more annoyed than shocked.

"I don't believe this," the other hissed. "It's me you want to search, be honest. Not them. You know that none of them would have stolen it. I'm the one you've been suspicious of all along."

"Yes," L agreed, idly scratching at his upper lip now. "For good reason." He was sure to slip that in and even quicker to brush over it, knowing nobody but the two of them would understand the meaning. And he was right; all of the forced anger written across Light's face vanished all at once, and every muscle in his body seemed to seize and stiffen all at once. L hid his smirk behind his hand as he went on, "however, we also know that the users of the notebook are capable of controlling others to an extent before their deaths and I'm sure we can all agree Kira can be quite convincing especially if he were to call the safety of any of your loved ones in question, so… no, it is not just you I would like to search, although you are my primary suspect."

There was something wild in Light's eyes for a moment, a raw terror that bordered on animalistic. Like a starving, beaten wolf backed into a corner. He knew he couldn't fight and he knew L knew he couldn't fight and they both knew the two of them had yet to hold a true advantage over the other, and so they were still stuck at the stalemate they had been since the day they met - well, since before, to be completely accurate, but he digressed. "Fine. Search me then." His enemy took a step forward, spreading his arms out. "Go ahead, do it. I don't have it."

"That's only good news to me," L replied, and walked forward to do just that. He wasn't watching, not really, but from the corner of his eye he did see Soichiro clench his fists at his sides when L began the search. He understood, the man wanted to believe his son was innocent. But he wasn't. To an extent, L knew deep down the former deputy director knew that.

"Ryuzaki, what are you on about? We've already determined that Light is innocent, haven't we?" Matsuda moved forward to stand beside Aizawa, exchanging wide-eyed glances with the others. L tilted his head slightly, lightly tugging the collar of Light's jacket with his index and middle finger and gesturing for the other to take it off before turning his attention to the others. Aizawa looked skeptical at best, pissed at worst. Mogi was more or less stone-faced, and Soichiro and Matsuda looked equally torn and confused. Understandable reactions from people who were no doubt close to Light and who undoubtedly had become close to Light throughout the whole ordeal. Some twisted part of him wondered what they would have done, how they might have reacted, had they seen the smile that Light offered him before everything went dark.

"I understand you all want to believe Light is innocent. I want to as well." A lie. A big, fat, bold lie. From the very beginning L had wanted nothing more than for Light Yagami to really be Kira, and having finally gotten what he wanted was exciting. Excitement was something he hadn't felt in a very, very long time. It was a feeling he would rather like to hold onto if he could. What intrigued him the most was how that excitement remained even though he had cracked the case; sure, Kira had yet to be apprehended and all things considered still posed a very real threat to the world, but for the time being, for some reason, L was content to let it stay that way, just for a bit.

"But we all know the book didn't just magically-" He stopped cold, registering his own words.

"Exactly. Rem probably took it," Light grumbled, letting his jacket drop to the floor and fixing a glare on L so intense that he was a little glad Kira couldn't simply will someone to death. "Would you like me to take my shirt and pants off too, or am I allowed to keep a little sliver of my dignity?" L arched an eyebrow at that, unamused, and reached down to pick the jacket back up.

"No. Turn and face that wall, please, keep your arms spread out beside you." Light let out a groan, loud and dramatic, as he was, but he did as told without much complaint for the most part. L took his time searching through the jacket pockets and looking for any hidden compartments on the inside before discarding it back to the floor and stepping forward to continue the rest of the search. He could already tell just by looking that Light wasn't hiding the book in his shirt, so really all that was left to search was the top of his pants, and despite himself he couldn't resist rolling his eyes at the way the other squirmed. Definitely a new development, Light before and after his lockup had always been unbothered by the routine searches L had to perform before permitting anyone to enter his hotel rooms. Cocky, even. Arrogant. As Light was.

"You know," L murmured, "you'd think you would be less hostile to your friend who almost died." If he hadn't been so close, he might not have noticed the subtle tensing of Light's shoulders.

"I'm glad you're okay," the other spit out through clenched teeth. "And I'm worried about you still. But I'm not the only one being hostile. You'd think accusing me of being Kira, again, wouldn't be the first thing you did after almost dying from a heart attack." A pause. "You should be in the hospital right now. I don't even know how you're walking and talking." When you should be dead went unsaid, but L heard it, felt it, even, in every beat of his heart and in every ache in his chest.

"Neither do I." It was the truth. He dropped his hands. "You're clear. Aizawa, you next please."

It went without saying that none of the others had the notebook on their person, and by the time L was finished with each thorough search, he was an even mixture of frustrated and intrigued. Perhaps Light was right, maybe the Shinigami had come to retrieve the book herself. But still… it begged the question of why. Everything seemed to beg that question as of late, though. Why was he alive right now, why was Watari? Why had he somehow been spared from his own death, and was it the Shinigami's doing or perhaps another, more powerful being? Again, the possibility of the book being capable of merely harming and not just killing, but once more, why?

Regardless. Light didn't have the book. Nobody else had taken the book. Nobody else could have taken the book. Whatever was happening here, nobody in this room was responsible for it. "Well, that's unfortunate," he spoke aloud, nibbling on his thumb nail. "Nobody here has the book. I suppose it is likely that the Shinigami may have come and taken it." Perhaps at Kira's command. It didn't escape his attention that this whole ordeal only happened when L announced he was going to be directly challenging the supposed '13 day' rule written in the book. The only ones he announced this plan to, however, were the people in the room. One of said people being Light, who was undoubtedly, unmistakably Kira and L now knew this to be a fact, one-hundred percent guaranteed. It was likely he had requested that the Shinigami take the notebook before L could proceed with his test, knowing L would want to search him the moment the book went missing. And of course, with his luck, he had no way of proving so at all.

But he didn't need to, did he?

"I want Misa Amane back under surveillance here. It's not likely that it's merely a coincidence that these new killings began immediately after she was released, and if it is, I will be very surprised." He turned his attention to Mogi, knowing that, if nobody else, he would be willing to carry out the order. "Take every precaution. Search her place thoroughly." After a moment of thought, he added, "don't just look for the notebook. Look for anything that seems odd or out of place. Scraps of paper…" He thought back to the torn page in the Death Note. "Ripped pages. There's a good chance that if she does have a Death Note, she won't have it in her home with her, but she may think nobody would pay attention to some scraps of ripped paper lying about."

"Of course." Mogi looked toward Aizawa, a clear question in his eyes. One the other must have answered silently, because a moment later, the two of them were already heading for the door.

"This is ridiculous, you know it isn't Misa!" Light took a few steps closer. L moved to his chair.

"Perhaps. Better safe than sorry, however. And I suppose within thirteen days at least we'll be able to determine the truth, won't we?" He climbed back into his chair and curled a hand against his chest, waiting out another harsh, sudden ache before he went on. "It's not just Amane I want under surveillance either. I've made up my mind. Until further notice, the both of you will remain at headquarters, you will both be supervised, and neither of you will be left alone together." He curled his other hand over one of his knees, pulling them both to his chest. In any case, your insistence that it isn't Amane only makes me more certain that it is, Kira. But he didn't dare say that out loud. He didn't want anyone else to know yet. Why? He didn't know. It was much more fun this way.

Maybe he didn't need to say it aloud, though. Perhaps Light knew him as well as L knew Light.

Because not a single protest fell from his lips after that.

Chapter Text

And so they were back to this.

Light's gaze zeroed in on the cuff around his wrist, and trailed all the way along the chain to where L sat on the bed in their room. His knees were drawn to his chest, legs crossed at the ankles, and he had his thumb in his mouth as he stared straight ahead at the wall. His other hand was curled against his chest, over his heart. Judging by the way his fist would clench every now and again, it was safe to assume he was experiencing some chest pains, which made sense given that he'd almost died from a heart attack. Some part of Light hoped he would just drop dead already, that the stress he was experiencing would lead to another heart attack, a natural one this time, that his body wouldn't be able to withstand so soon after the first one, and without any medical assistance. The rational part of him recognized it wasn't in his best interest for L to die right now, while they were once again chained together. It was a very sticky situation.

He couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking, though. He could already guess Ryuzaki suspected that he was behind the Death Note's disappearance, which was rather frustrating but understandable. He probably thought Light had ordered Rem to take the book to avoid L proving that the thirteen day rule was fake. It was going to be hard to prove his innocence to Ryuzaki on that front considering the other definitely knew he was Kira. So this was it, then, he was fucked. Especially now that the notebook was gone. He couldn't kill L, he couldn't kill any of the others.

Ryuzaki's gaze flicked toward him, and Light froze, watching the other shift slightly on the bed, settling back against the headboard into a more comfortable position, and grabbing his phone.

"Watari," he spoke quietly, "disable all of the cameras and wiretaps in my room please. And then wait about… five minutes and disable the cameras in all the other rooms one by one as well."

What?

There was a moment of silence, a few seconds that felt like minutes, before L spoke again. "Thank you. Please get some rest. I'll let you know if I need anything else." Another pause. Ryuzaki's other hand fell from his mouth, settling just over his chest. "I understand. Of course. Get some rest, Watari. Thank you again." He pulled the phone away from his ear and held it there for a moment, dangling from his thumb and index finger, before flipping it shut and dropping it onto the bed beside him. Then he took a breath, slow and steady, and turned his gaze to where Light was settled in a chair beside the bed, his wide eyes distant, yet thoughtful. His thumb found his lips again, curling into the corner of his mouth and pulling it sideways a bit.

He was trying to think of something to say. Something dramatic, something that would send a chill down Light's spine, get some sort of reaction out of him. That was fine. He could have the first word here. Light's biggest concern was figuring out what he was going to do about the situation; should he continue denying that he was Kira? All things considered, Ryuzaki had no tangible proof. All he had to go off of was Light smiling at him while he was dying… he knew it went without saying that he couldn't convince the other that he'd been seeing things. But did that mean he should just roll over and accept that Ryuzaki knew his true identity? If he refused to acknowledge it and continued denying it then it wouldn't change anything… but he wouldn't deny that a part of him was curious about how their dynamic would shift if he were to confess.

He had disabled all of the cameras and wiretaps. Or had he? This could be premeditated. For all he knew the others were still listening, and L was merely trying to bait him into backing himself into a corner by confessing to everything. It wasn't safe to admit to being Kira, not here. Ryuzaki had no way of proving anything to the others, of course his first priority would be tricking Light into revealing his identity as Kira to the others. Christ, did he think he was stupid?

But L said nothing. Simply continued to stare at Light, his distant gaze only turning intense again when his phone rang. Without moving his gaze, he reached out to flip it open and answered it - and then, to Light's surprise, put the phone on speaker and held it out, putting his finger to his lip in a 'shh' motion to Light while Soichiro's voice crackled through from the other line. "Ryuzaki, all of the video feed from your room just shut down. Is everything alright? Is Light okay?" He sounded worried, genuinely worried. And confused. It could be an act, but… Light had been with L the whole time. The only time he'd been on his phone was to call Watari, and then just now. There was no way he had already planned this out with the others without Light's knowledge… so the cameras were down. This was what L had been waiting for, someone to call and confirm. He knew Light wouldn't trust it until he had confirmation that the others couldn't hear or see them. It was smart, and he hated it. He hated how well L knew him… and yet he thrived on it.

"Everything is fine. The cameras should be back on shortly," Ryuzaki responded, still watching Light intently. "Given the blackout we're worried someone may have hacked into the system, so I've asked Watari to reset and reroute all cameras and wiretaps to another network. This shouldn't take any more than an hour or so. I appreciate you checking in." Oh, this fucking prick.

"Right, I understand. Thank you for clearing that up, Ryuzaki. Are you feeling alright?"

That seemed to catch L off guard, just a little. His eyes narrowed the slightest bit, a flicker of surprise crossing his face, but he was quick to recover. "Yes, I'm fine. Thanks for your concern." He flipped the phone shut without waiting for a response, and dropped it on the bed once more.

"Okay, Kira." He leaned forward, hands on his knees. "Let's talk."

Light's heart stuttered, staring at him, but he was quick to make his decision. It wasn't worth the risk. There was always a risk that the phone call was planned and this was an act and the others were watching and listening, and regardless, Light wasn't willing to sacrifice everything just to be able to talk to Ryuzaki as Kira once and for all. Not yet, not here. Certainly not like this. "Why would you say that? I'm not Kira. We've already been over this, why are you still so-"

"Light, please. Spare me the theatrics," Ryuzaki drawled. "I know you're Kira. You know you're Kira. You know I know you're Kira. There's really no point in dragging this out any longer." He crawled forward to the edge of the bed, closer to where Light sat, and Light instinctively scooted his chair back as far as possible, leaving only a little bit of slack in the chain connecting them. "Nobody can hear us. Nobody can see us. Nobody will be able to hear or see us until I call Watari back and ask him to turn the cameras and wiretaps back on." Light stayed silent, as something deep in his stomach twisted and fluttered with a mixture of excitement and terror, and L took a deep breath and heaved out a long, strained sigh. "So you can speak freely right now."

"This is insane." Light forced himself to sit up a little more. "I'm not Kira! Look, I'm sorry you almost died and I know you must be even more paranoid and suspicious right now, but I have-"

"I am not paranoid because I almost died," L interrupted. "And I've always been suspicious."

Light set his jaw. "Of me."

"Yes."

"Okay." Light took a moment to think, to really think, before continuing. "So if I was Kira." L's eyebrows raised the slightest bit, watching him. "Which I'm not." The corner of his enemy's mouth twitched upwards. "Why would you think Kira would fall for this? I mean so far Kira's been the only one who can match your intellect. He would see right through this and know it's a trap."

"Seems to me you're the one that's paranoid," Ryuzaki commented, rubbing his thumb back and forth over his lower lip. "I understand. To answer your question, I already figured you would automatically assume that I'm trying to trap you into a confession and that's why I waited for your father to call so that he could confirm that the cameras and wiretaps have been disabled." He tilted his head, eyeing Light. "If I were to try and trap you into a confession I wouldn't be nearly as obvious, but I've figured you out by now, Kira, and I'm aware that I'm not going to be able to back you into a corner so easily. The truth is, I don't want a confession out of you because I don't want anyone else to know that you are Kira for sure yet. That is why I had Watari disable the cameras and wiretaps. I'm not looking for a confession, just a conversation."

I can't risk it. I can't risk it. I can't risk it. Why was it so tempting? Ryuzaki was silent, just staring at him while Light struggled to think, contemplating his next words and his next move. He really wanted to give in, to let his curiosity get the better of him for once. And… he hated it, but he did believe L to an extent. At least, he wanted to. The truth was, it was difficult for him to figure out when Ryuzaki was lying and when he was telling the truth, and now was one of the times Light found himself second-guessing himself. But if he was telling the truth, and Light continued to deny it, he wouldn't exactly be missing out on a chance to talk to him, would he? If Ryuzaki was being honest in wanting a conversation and not wanting the others to know who he was yet (something Light was very interested in getting more information about), then he would find another way to have this conversation, and set up a more believable scenario where it would be absolutely impossible for the others to be listening in. If he wasn't telling the truth, then Light ran the risk of outing himself to everyone here, and without access to the book, he couldn't do that.

He'd come this far, and they'd both waited this long. They could wait a little bit longer.

"Ryuzaki," he murmured. "I know you want me to be Kira. But I'm not. I don't care how long it takes, I'm going to prove it to you. And this-" He lifted his arm, jangling the chain between them. "Is only going to help me do it." He fell silent with that, and searched L's gaze intently until a spark of recognition and understanding lit his gaze. Some disappointment crossed the other's face, but after a moment, he merely sighed, bit his thumb, and inclined his head forward slightly.

"Very well. I suppose I can wait."

Light nodded, relaxing back into his chair. "So how are you feeling, really? I've noticed you've been grabbing your chest a lot." L lifted his head slightly at that, looking down at his hands.

"This act of yours must get so exhausting," his enemy murmured. "At any rate there's no need to engage in small talk right now. I'll have Watari reactivate the cameras and wiretaps in a moment." He reached down to grab his phone, flipping it open, and Light narrowed his eyes. It was so believable… and so risky. He could wait until Ryuzaki planned something more discreet. For now, he resigned himself to just watching and listening, clenching and unclenching his fists around the arm of the chair while he watched Ryuzaki lift his phone to his ear. "Mr. Mogi," he greeted. "Did you find anything of interest at Ms. Amane's house?" A beat. "Unfortunate." L's eyes shifted toward him. "I'm not surprised. I want them both under twenty-four hour surveillance before they see each other. Alright. Yes, thank you Mr. Mogi. Very much appreciated." Another beat. L's eyebrows furrowed. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. Exercise caution."

With that, he hung up. Light put his chin in his hand and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Watari, you can reactivate the cameras and wiretaps now…"

Chapter Text

The hours ticked by without incident, and in the blink of an eye (and yet agonizingly slowly) it was dark, everyone was tucked away in their rooms or at home, and L was sitting up in his bed.

Beside him, with just a few feet of distance between them, Light was curled up under the blanket, face buried into his pillow. He was snoring the way he always did so it was safe to assume he was asleep. L wondered how he felt safe enough to sleep at his side right then, knowing what he knew. Or perhaps in Light's mind it didn't make much of a difference. Perhaps he recognized that L had never truly faltered in believing that he was Kira; just because he knew for sure now didn't change anything. If nothing else, he probably knew what L knew about him; that there was nothing to be done. L couldn't do anything to him, and he couldn't do anything to L. They were at a standstill, so then nothing had changed. That must be Light's thought process.

As for L…

It wasn't that simple. No, Light couldn't do anything to him right now, but he didn't need to. L knew it wasn't Light who had written his name in the notebook, it wasn't Light who was directly responsible for his death, but he knew just as well that he had arranged it. Perhaps a deal with the Shinigami, perhaps ordering Misa to write his name in another book - whatever it was, L wasn't stupid. Light had known what was going to happen. It wasn't too farfetched to assume he had been the one to arrange it. Which in itself wasn't something that put L off - he'd known from the beginning that his life was at risk. You don't go into an investigation hunting down a serial killer who can kill people without needing to be there simply by knowing their name and face without understanding that your life is at risk and there is a very, very real chance you'll be killed.

It wasn't the attempt that kept L awake, it was its aftermath.

The pain in his chest hadn't quite let up. It faded in and out and seemed to return randomly, just when he was starting to think it might be over. Like hiccups. It was annoying, and almost scary. He knew it was his heart; it was the same kind of pain he'd felt during the attack, a growing pressure in his chest that felt like only that specific part of his body was being crushed in a trash compactor, just a little less intense and a little (hopefully) less life threatening. But it did put him off, the knowledge that another attack could occur at any second, and he might succumb to a second regardless of whether or not it was a Shinigami's doing, or his body giving out on him. There was one thing he knew for certain; he didn't want to die yet, not now. He was so close to finally being able to talk with Kira face to face, to ask all the questions that were floating around his brain, and he wasn't ready to die before he got his answers. Before he could pick Light Yagami's brain apart piece by piece until L knew every single gear churning in the killer's head.

His phone buzzed, dragging him out of his thoughts. He grabbed it without looking, sparing another quick glance toward Light before flipping it open and lifting it up to his ear. "L speaking."

"L," a familiar voice whispered from the other line. "Watari told me what happened."

It took a few seconds for the voice to really register. L stared ahead for a few seconds, gaze glued to the wall, and curled himself up a little more. His free hand curled around one of his knees, pushing it up against his chest, and he spared a quick glance toward Light to ensure the other was still asleep before he finally responded. "I figured he would, but I'm surprised to hear from you." He moved his free hand up to his mouth instead, biting his nail slightly. "Hello, Near."

"I wasn't going to, but I wanted to check in on you myself. And ask how the case was going."

"Mhm." L took a moment - just a moment - to breathe, to just listen to his apprentice's voice. Surprising as it may be, it was a pleasure to hear from him. In general, it was always nice to hear from someone familiar, someone from back home. He had Watari, for the most part, and he was ecstatic for the chance to work on this case, but he wouldn't deny it got lonely sometimes, and he did get homesick. With that said, he wasn't sure how much he wanted Near to know about the case. The kid was a lot like him; he was intelligent, thorough, and above all, unemotional. He didn't let his personal feelings get in the way, and up until now… neither did L.

But that was exactly what he was doing now, with Kira, wasn't it? Letting his own feelings and curiosity get in the way of actually solving the case and bringing Kira to justice? He couldn't know. Nobody back at Wammy's could know. It could mean the end of his career… and the end of some of the friendships he had managed to form. He could only guess what they'd think of him now, willing to let a serial killer walk free to satisfy his feelings of curiosity and amusement.

There were very few people in this world that L cared for, and even fewer whose opinions actually mattered to him to a certain degree. Watari was one of those people, and Near was steadily climbing his way up that ladder as well. He'd always felt a certain closeness with the boy, ever since they met, and the feelings had only grown stronger when L began mentoring him. L was more than willing to admit that Watari had been something of a father to him during their time together, and Near was… probably the closest thing that he would ever have to a son. Or maybe a brother. He wasn't sure, he was never that good at the whole 'found family' thing.

"L?" Near murmured.

"Yes?"

"Watari told me he's been experiencing chest pains since his attack. Are you feeling alright?"

And there it was. Another person asking if he was okay. From Near, it was a little less surprising than Soichiro or Mogi asking him - he knew when Light asked he didn't really mean it - but there was something almost frustrating about the question, something he couldn't pinpoint right away. But, he figured, he may as well be honest. It was just Near. This, he could speak freely about. It was concerning to know Watari was experiencing the same thing… he needed to call him soon. "I've been experiencing some chest pains as well. Nothing too serious," he added, because he didn't want Near to worry, and all things considered it wasn't too serious. It wasn't stopping him from doing what he was doing, and aside from the risk of suddenly dropping dead - which, let's be honest, he was always at risk of - L wasn't too worried about it. "So how have you all been?"

"Well…" Near's voice strained for a second, like he was stifling a yawn. L furrowed his eyebrows, but said nothing. "We've been going about as normal until just recently. Now everyone's freaking out about you dying. Mello's beside himself, I'm actually surprised I got to you before he did," he sighed, and L almost smiled. His relationship with Mello was a complicated one. He was intelligent, but emotional, which could be dangerous… but also endearing. Him, L definitely thought of as a brother. "Everyone who's not freaking out over you almost dying is freaking out over who's going to take over the Kira case if you do happen to die. So to put it simply, it's chaos over here, and Mello's one wrong word away from a breakdown."

"I see." L closed his eyes, pushing his thumb up under his upper lip. "Yes, I understand. I suppose now would be the best time to choose my successor. If something were to happen…"

"It would be wise, but I'm not sure you should be making any decisions just yet," Near commented. "What you need to do is see a doctor-" L almost rolled his eyes. "Because if Kira doesn't kill you, the stress you're putting yourself under so soon after having a heart attack will. Dying to Kira is one thing, but falling victim to your own pride and foolishness…" He trailed off, every word so carefully pointed, and L cracked his eyes open the slightest bit before closing them again. He was right, and L knew he was right. He also knew his current circumstances would make it difficult for him to seek medical attention right now, and he wasn't willing to take the cuffs off to do that just yet, nor was he willing to let Light of all people sit in on a doctor's appointment with him. But he couldn't say any of this to Near; if he were to tell Near he had handcuffed himself to who everyone knew was his prime suspect so soon after his murder attempt, Near would know Light Yagami is Kira without question, and L wasn't ready for that yet.

What a mess this situation was turning into. Hiding his true identity from Kira was weirdly thrilling, the knowledge that the game was lost if he ever found out, and the lengths he had to go to to ensure he didn't lose. Hiding Kira's identity was something else entirely, something that, at the start, he would have blanched at the idea of doing. It wasn't thrilling, it wasn't fun. This right here, this was not a game. This was the preservation of the game. Everything was on the line.

"I understand." L lowered his hand from his mouth, sweeping his gaze toward Light once more. "Please, don't worry so much. I'll take care of myself." He looked away again, and, after a few seconds, slowly lowered his legs down from their curled-up position at his chest, stretching them out across the bed instead. "You should get some sleep. I'll contact you again as soon as I can."

The child was silent for a moment. L took the chance to stretch, popping and cracking his stiff and aching muscles methodically while he waited for the other to speak. "Please be careful, L."

"I'm always careful," L lied. "Goodnight, Near."

A soft sigh followed his words, fond but exasperated. "Goodnight."

There was a moment of hesitation, a long pause, before the line went dead. L curled his fingers around the phone and let his arm drop, dragging his thumb along the buttons as he looked down at it. He wasn't going to bother Watari just yet, as much as he wanted to check in with him. With Near pacified for the moment, the only thing left to do was turn his attention to Light - something his brain offered absolutely no resistance in doing. He cast his gaze to the man beside him, asleep and seemingly content, as he discarded his phone onto the stand beside the bed and finally allowed himself to lay back, stretching out as much as possible before rolling onto his side, with his back to Light, Kira, and curling himself up again as his eyes drifted shut.

He'd already figured out a way to get Light alone, now all that was left to do was execute his plan. He couldn't involve Watari this time, he didn't want the man to know what he was doing yet. Hell, he wasn't sure he ever wanted the man to know what he was doing… but regardless. He also needed to figure out the case of the missing Death Note, and speak with Amane again. So much to do, and what felt like so little time to do it… he curled a hand against his chest, listening and taking comfort in every beat of his heart. Behind him, Light shifted and the bed moved with him. He tugged at the blanket, pulling it away from L just a little - L managed to grab the corner and yanked it back over himself, and held on to it tightly until Light gave up and let go again.

He would make time. He was determined to get through this. Determined to survive, now more than ever.

The game wasn't over, and L wasn't finished with Kira.

Not yet.

Chapter Text

"Ryuzaki… are you sure you should be drinking that so soon after, uh…"

"Don't worry. I have a doctor's appointment in a few hours. If it so happens that they determine I'm unfit to consume anymore caffeine, I've given Light instructions to hit me with the car." There were a few loud plops, a sound Light had grown quite familiar with. He didn't have to look over; he could see the image clearly in his mind, sugar cubes dropping into a half-filled cup of coffee. To be honest, he was already wondering if he could potentially pass off this whole ordeal as that - a heart attack brought on by the… extensive amount of caffeine that Ryuzaki consumed daily. Probably not. Especially not with his and Watari's attacks occurring so close to one another. There was no point in trying to convince the others, either; if he were to suggest it, L would shoot him down immediately, and then probably point out how suspicious it was for him to say it.

He took a breath and sighed, resting his chin in his hand and extending his arm without looking so that Ryuzaki could take a few steps further to grab a couple of packs of sugar from the basket. Light would never understand why Ryuzaki made his coffee so sweet. He liked it bitter. (And in general Light thought sugar cubes in coffee should be considered a sin.)

"You're… going to the hospital?" Soichiro sounded shocked. Light didn't blame him.

Ryuzaki ripped one of the packs open with his teeth. "Yes. Given how worried everyone seems to be about me, I figured it's better to nip this problem in the bud as quickly as possible. Once the doctor determines that I'm fine, we can all get back to work as usual, right? No more asking if I'm okay and whatnot." He dumped both packs of sugar into the cup and grabbed a stirrer. "And also, I figure it's the appropriate thing to do after having a heart attack, Shinigami induced or not." He stopped mid-stir, glancing in Light's direction. "Light will be accompanying me, of course-" Light inclined his head in silent agreement. "So you can rest assured that I'm not lying."

"And there's a pretty good chance the doctors might make him stay overnight for testing," Light added. "Considering he's been having chest pains, they'll want to be absolutely sure he's not at risk of having another heart attack. If that happens, I'll be able to keep him company, at least." Ryuzaki's hands stilled for a second at the mention of 'chest pains', but he merely looked away.

"Indeed. In spite of my suspicion of you, Light, I will admit you are wonderful company to have."

"And in spite of your suspicion of me, Ryuzaki." Light narrowed his eyes. "I feel the same way."

Soichiro didn't look impressed, nor did he look pleased. "Chest pains? Why didn't you mention that earlier? You should have gone to the hospital immediately, what if something happened la-"

"Dad," Light interrupted. "I was with him all night, remember? I noticed he was grabbing at his chest a lot. At first I thought he was just checking his heart, but this morning when he told me he was going to the hospital I knew there was only one reason he would go. But I don't think it's that serious. Besides, he survived a Shinigami attack, didn't he? Even if he did have another heart attack, I doubt that would be what took him out if a God couldn't do it." L, back turned to the others, raised his eyebrows and almost smirked, a flicker of amusement shining in his eyes.

"Excellent point, Light." Ryuzaki tilted his head. "It seems that even God is no match for me." How pointed that was. Light could see it in his eyes, in his smile. He could hear it in his voice. He dug his nails into his cheek and didn't say a word, only forced a light-hearted chuckle and looked away while his blood boiled, fury and indignance bubbling like lava throughout his veins.

"You kind of have a point…" Matsuda sounded fascinated. "A God tried to kill you and couldn't."

"I think we're all overlooking the second option," Aizawa spoke up, head buried in a book as he reclined back on the couch. "How can we be sure Ryuzaki's heart attack wasn't a result of… let's be honest, his whole lifestyle?" Light looked up at that, startled, and Ryuzaki's hands stilled.

"And… what, exactly, is that supposed to mean, Aizawa?"

"In the time I've known you I don't think I've actually seen you eat anything healthy. Except bananas." Aizawa didn't look up from his book. "You consume so much caffeine and sugar that you should have diabetes." Both L and Light opened their mouths at that, but Aizawa continued through their protests. "You barely sleep, you've been under increasing amounts of stress and pressure from the Kira case, you push yourself too hard and you don't bother taking care of yourself. You may be young, but under the conditions you put yourself under daily, it's not exactly a stretch to assume this is simply a case of you pushing yourself too far and your unhealthy habits catching up to you." Aizawa finally looked up, craning his neck to look back at Ryuzaki. "Chief had a heart attack from the stress alone. You're under much worse conditions."

"We think," L corrected, and Aizawa's eyebrows furrowed. "We think the heart attack Chief Yagami had was due to the stress, but perhaps it wasn't. Perhaps this is not the first time someone has survived a Shinigami attack." Silence fell over the room. "I don't know why or how I survived, but I do know that my attack occurred far too soon after Watari's to be coincidental."

Aizawa grimaced, inclining his head in a begrudging agreement. "That is true, but…"

Silence fell again. Light took to picking at the chain while the others exchanged glances between them, and Ryuzaki turned back to his coffee, finally taking a tentative sip and letting out a soft hum of approval before moving over to take a seat near Light. Eventually, it was Soichiro who broke the silence, clearing his throat and turning his attention to the detective. "Well, when is your appointment exactly? I could give you a ride. Unless you've made plans with Watari."

"Oh, thank you, but that won't be necessary." L took another sip, eyes focused intently on the monitors. "Watari has his own appointment around the same time, so I'll be driving us myself."

It took a few seconds for Light to process that, head whirling in L's direction once he did. "What-"

"Light, I assure you, I'm a decent driver. At the very least I'll be able to get us from point A to point B without issue. Would you relax?" Despite Light's best attempts to keep his feet rooted to the sidewalk, Ryuzaki was more or less successful in managing to drag him toward the car inch by inch using the chain connecting them. Sometimes Light forgot how strong the guy could be; then again, he had taken a punch directly to the face without moving an inch, so to be honest… yeah, he really shouldn't be surprised. That didn't stop him from resisting as much as possible, though, and neither did Ryuzaki's half-hearted reassurances as they drew closer to the vehicle.

"Absolutely not! Can't we just walk?"

Ryuzaki tsked. Fucking tsked at him. "Not to where we're headed, no."

It was only then that Light reluctantly allowed his arm to fall slack, letting L pull him the rest of the way to the car, and watching him fumble with the keys. "Okay, then… then let me drive." A dubious look, and nothing more, was cast in his direction. "You can give me the directions and I'll get us there safely. You're on a constant sugar high, I don't exactly trust your driving skills."

"And what on Earth gives you the impression that I would trust yours?" Ryuzaki asked, pulling the driver side door open. Light didn't have an immediate response to that, and was currently in the process of thinking of one when Ryuzaki spoke again. "It… seems we may have a problem."

"Great," Light muttered, looking toward the car. "And what's that?"

Ryuzaki lifted his hand, the chain swinging between them.

Oh.

Right.

Thankfully, due to their quick thinking, the problem was… relatively easily solved. L insisted on not going inside to get the key to unlock the cuffs, so Light ultimately suggested, reluctantly, that they climb in through the same door. Unfortunately climbing into the passenger seat from the driver's side wasn't exactly an easy feat, and resulted in a lot of head bumps, mild swearing, and getting the chain tangled momentarily on one of the arm rests. By the time they were both settled in the car, Light was rubbing at the back of his head and Ryuzaki was favoring his wrist, which was already beginning to bruise around the cuffs. Light just wasn't looking forward to having to get out. He might just force Ryuzaki to stay in the car with him forever. It was too hard.

"This should go without saying," Ryuzaki muttered as he turned the car on. "But if you even tug slightly on the chain while I'm driving, I'll kick you out of the car and drag you along on the road." Light snorted at that, still slightly out of breath, and merely offered a nod in response; L let out a satisfied hum, taking a quick look behind them, and slowly began to back out of the parking lot.

Once they actually got a little farther down the road, Light had to admit, L's driving wasn't… bad. Not like he was expecting, anyway. Truthfully, he wasn't sure what he was expecting, exactly. He was a little curious as to why L had Watari drive him everywhere when he was clearly capable of driving himself. Light had just… assumed it was because he didn't know how, or that maybe it was too risky. Hell, it was still too risky; the guy was still at risk of having another heart attack, and while the outcome of a car crash could be favorable if L were to die, it would also look extremely suspicious. And, also, there was the risk that Light could die in the wreck as well.

Carefully minding the chain between them, Light shifted closer to the window to rest his head against it and let his eyes drift shut. This was bound to be an interesting conversation. He wondered where L was taking him… and when they would be back. He needed to talk to Misa. Hell, he needed to get out of these cuffs and go get the other Death Note, but he knew he couldn't do that anytime soon. He didn't know what Ryuzaki planned to do, or why he was doing what he was doing now, but he knew he couldn't give the others any reason to be suspicious. They knew L suspected him, and he knew L couldn't prove it; he couldn't give him a chance to. That was easier said than done, with this new development. And the missing Death Note was both a blessing and a curse. He didn't need it right then, he decided. He needed to figure this out first. What he was going to do about L.

"Do you mind if I play some music?" Ryuzaki's voice startled him, making his already aching head throb as he jumped and bumped it against the window. He almost considered jerking on the chain in retaliation, but recalling his enemy's threat from before, he refrained from doing so.

"No. Go ahead." He wondered if the car had wiretaps. He knew Ryuzaki would know he'd assume it did anyway, which was likely why he wasn't attempting to start their conversation now. He turned his head to watch the other for a moment. Ryuzaki's hand slipped from the steering wheel to the radio console, eyes focused on the road the whole time. He was sitting normally, Light finally noticed. Of course he was, he had to in order to drive, but it was… a very odd sight.

In fact… "I don't think I've ever seen you sit normally before."

"As I've told you, when I sit normally my deductive skills are reduced by roughly forty percent." Ryuzaki finally settled on a station and returned his hand to the wheel. "Which is unacceptable."

"Can't be comfortable, though," Light pointed out. "You even sit like that in bed."

"Only while you're awake. Most of the time."

"And on the toilet."

"We can stop talking about this now."

Light huffed out a laugh, startlingly genuine even to his own ears, and looked away again. Beside him, Ryuzaki seemed to settle further back into his seat, almost relaxing completely. He wondered how he could just… do that. How he could just be so, utterly comfortable in the company of someone he knew wanted him dead. And yet, at the same time, he understood; Ryuzaki was a risk to him as well. He'd threatened his execution many, many times, and Light knew just as well that he could deliver on that threat - be it in the legal way, or not. But even so, Light could still find it in him to relax around him. Even now, even when L knew that he was Kira.

It was weird. It was confusing. Light couldn't say he liked it, but-

"-ready for Hideki Ryuga's newest album!"

The name alone had Light's attention, gaze flitting toward the radio console before he could process anything else. It seemed to catch Ryuzaki's attention as well, because even by the time Light managed to lift his gaze to the other, his enemy's eyes were flicking rapidly between the console and the road; his usually blank expression had lifted into something almost mirthful, a hint of amusement in the furrow of his eyebrows and the upward tilt of his lips. He caught his gaze, laughter in his eyes, and for a moment - just a moment - Light felt more like Light Yagami than Kira.

"If you start singing," he started, and couldn't finish; his voice broke on the last word, and they both dissolved into laughter before either of them could catch themselves.

It was, of course, Ryuzaki who fell silent first; a few quiet chuckles and then he was silent, though there was a wider smirk on his face now. Different from his usual wide, creepy smiles; this one was a little more genuine, a little softer, even. Light fell silent not long after L did, collapsing back into his seat and snorting out one last amused breath before turning his gaze back to the window. The silence said nothing and everything; there was so much he wanted to say, he realized. So much he wanted to confess, and… why, exactly? To see the look on L's face? To bask in his victory - his victory, mind you, that was still so close and somehow so far?

Maybe it didn't matter why, Light reasoned. What mattered was that it was happening, it just was, and for whatever reason, he was looking forward to it. He could figure the rest out later.

And still… it was a shame, wasn't it?

Maybe in another world, he mused as he rested his head against the window. In another life, we could have been friends, L.