Work Text:
On a warm sunny afternoon, he sat in the park.
Nathan looked up from his sketchbook, the sun shining through the leaves of the tree and blinding him. But he didn’t mind. He liked the sun. It wasn’t perfect and had days where it was hiding from the world. On other days it warmed everyone with its good mood, giving a warm embrace to everyone around. And yet most people chose to overlook its moody side and loved when it came out to shine.
A little bit like his lover, Youssef.
He grinned at the thought and looked back down into his sketchbook to see if any details were missing in the landscape he had been painting for the past hour. His tiny watercolour set sitting next to him, waiting patiently to be picked up again. Nathan always carried it around. It would have been more unusual if he left it home.
People passed the patch of grass he was sitting on, the small town’s park being rather lively at this time of the day.
Some people were chattering. Others banter. On the other hand, some families took their children for a walk and the kids ran through the park without thinking about the world’s problems even once. Sometimes he wished that he could be like that again, but society didn’t like that.
He got up with a huff and pulled his shoes back on. Nathan had been there for a bit now, having told Youssef that he’d go to the park to paint a bit, adding that he could also join, but Youssef had just replied that that was his thing and that he had work to do anyway.
To be honest. The way he knew his boyfriend, he had probably cuddled up on his couch with his favourite tea. Most likely his phone or laptop sitting near him, playing some boring video about black holes or the universe. He didn’t really understand Youssef’s obsession with the universe, but he didn’t have to. Something about it always made his boy smile and as long as it made his boy smile, it must be good.
Nathan picked his headphones out of his pocket and pushed them into his ears. His usual music started playing and he smiled again. It was quite beautiful, wasn’t it? The way people just smiled and laughed, putting their usual frowns aside for the people around them. There was no way he could tell if they were being honest with their smiles. No people other than their loved ones could tell. But some were laughing and smiling and they seemed to be honest. He wanted to be like that.
Not faking their smiles and laughs he meant.
He started to make his way out of the park, walking past the lake and the geese attacking harmless people trying to have a drink or two or who just wanted nice company.
He had lied about smiling and laughing before. Not everyone knew or cared enough to try to decipher his act. Why he did it? He wasn’t sure. His therapist said something about being a ‘people pleaser’. As if it was that obvious that he cared too much about what others thought.
Nathan looked to the side, still lost in thoughts. He didn’t know this park well. He didn’t live in the town. But he worked there and Youssef did live there too. His boyfriend had mentioned that this park would be nice to relax in and he was right. But he had added that he usually sat at the lake with some books and music, probably to look busy so others didn’t bother him.
Nathan laughed again.
In fact, they had gone here after their first date a few months back if he remembered correctly. He was pretty drunk that night and had fallen into the lake as a consequence of it. Youssef basically had to fish him out, but he remembered how hard it had been for him to do that because they were both laughing in that moment.
It had been one of those moments where he felt like he had unlocked something new in their relationship. Seeing Youssef’s eyes crinkle from laughing, mumbling something about him being stupid for falling in there.
They kissed on the bench afterwards.
Nathan felt the corner of his lips turning into a smile.
He left the park and adjusted the strap of his tote bag on his shoulder, it slipping off more than once. He huffed and rolled his eyes as he made his way down the streets. The sun illuminated the streets and the small canal under the stone bridge. It was almost like it was telling him to go home. But home was too far now.
Youssef’s flat had to do. Maybe he was lucky and his flatmate wasn’t there either.
As he walked he only thought about his sketchbook and the few pages that were blank. He wanted to finish it that week but he only had the patience for two little landscapes and a lazy sketch he had made of his boyfriend while he had been waiting for the watercolours to dry so he could turn the page. He honestly felt like a teenager when he thought about him like that. He couldn’t quite say what it was about him that made him think about him that much, but he didn’t have to know. He knew that he loved that man, but the love word hadn’t been on the table yet and he didn’t want the first one to say it.
It hadn’t ended well in previous relationships. Maybe he was falling too easily.
Then again, Youssef was the least person he had expected to fall in love with. Mostly cause he never dated a science nerd before. Usually he fell for the blonde ones. Youssef was brunette. He felt like drowning in blue eyes. But Youssef’s eyes reminded him of a teddy bear. He liked tall guys. But, well, Youssef’s head was nice to rest his arm on.
He made him question his preferences. And it only took a small wave and ‘hello’ on the first night they had met.
Youssef made him question everything. And it only took one of his small smiles. It seemed so easy. And he cared for his smiles too.
Nathan stopped on the bridge and looked into the water. Of course he remembered the first time Youssef had asked about it. Why he never truly smiled. Why he was afraid of letting people know about his mood that day. He had started crying because it wasn’t easy to explain why he did. But he had understood or at least had tried to. Youssef had wrapped him into a blanket. And he had been cuddled to sleep that night.
His smile turned wider. He couldn’t wait to get to him today.
More minutes passed and he walked to Youssef’s flat during that time. He reached to press the doorbell at the side of the house. Nathan pushed it and shortly after his flatmate's voice cracked through the intercom.
“Hello?”
“Oh- Hi Lance. It’s me, Nathan” he replied and could immediately hear the smile on the other man’s lips. Probably because he almost lived there at this point.
“Sure come up.”
And he did. But this house would have been more of a blessing with a lift. And his relationship would have been blessed if his boyfriend hadn’t decided to have a flat on the sixth floor. His thighs started to burn. He risked a look up and saw that there were more stairs ahead, his smile having faded after the first one.
“C’mon mate, you got this” he heard Lance call from the top and he could swear that he had been nicer the first time he had met him.
“Got this, my ass!”
“Only a bit”
And when he got to the top he felt like he needed some air and a break. Lance leaned against the doorframe and grinned at him.
“It’s remarkable that you’ve been here so often and still you get so out of breath. You should-”
“Work out more often. Got it.”
The tall blonde laughed and shook his head, giving him the slippers Nathan left there a while ago because Youssef and Lance had reminded him about it. He took them from his hand and rolled his eyes.
“Youssef’s sleeping by the way” he heard him say and Nathan nodded. “Fell asleep watching some science video. Don’t know. You know him. Something about a black hole I think? I only saw him briefly.”
Nathan acknowledged what the man said and walked past him into the shared living space picking up Gatsby, the cat their kids had brought them in the middle of an almost kiss in his art class room. But that had been months ago and the black cat had gotten bigger and had gotten an even bigger spot in both their hearts. Mostly Youssef’s. Gatsby usually glared at him when he got Sef’s attention instead of him.
The cat was a bit of a backstabber if he was being honest, but he liked to lie to himself.
And yet he kissed his head, carrying him to Youssef’s room. He saw the door closed and chuckled into Gatsby’s direction. Of course the cat had only been nice to him so he would open the door for him. And he did fall for it every time.
He reached out to open the door and already felt the cat getting uneasy in his arms. When he opened it, Gatsby jumped off and elegantly jogged to Youssef’s bed, ignoring Nathan’s presence as usual.
He walked over too and smiled a little, closing the door behind him. Youssef’s laptop was still playing videos and his boy was wrapped into his blankets like a burrito. If he had complained to Lance that he was too cold as well?
Nathan walked to the closet and pulled out some hoodie and one of Youssef’s shorts, quickly changing before walking back to the bed. The guy sleeping in it just hummed and mumbled something like ‘Hi’. He wasn’t sure, but his boyfriend seemed to have noticed his presence.
He grinned a little and climbed into the big bed, wrapping his right arm around him while he laid down and the short man grabbed his arm like the pillow he usually held when he tried to fall asleep. Nathan scooted up closer behind him and kissed his cheek, resting his chin on his shoulder. Youssef scooted back into him, letting out a brief hum of approval before seemingly falling asleep again. Nathan stretched his arm and closed the laptop so he wouldn’t be blinded.
“Hi, bear” he grinned and Youssef just chuckled sleepily, trying to roll over but it failed. He laughed and lifted his arm so he would have it easier. He kept trying and after making it in a clumsy attempt, he buried his head in Nathan’s chest. He could feel Youssef smile and it made him blush a little.
“Don’t i get a ‘hello' kiss?”
And he didn’t have to repeat himself because Youssef pecked his lips sweetly before he made an effort to fall asleep again, mumbling something that Nathan wasn’t sure if he heard it correctly.
“Did you say ‘I love you’?” he asked to make sure and Youssef shrugged in his arms, not looking up anymore.
“I guess you don’t have to say it back…”
“No wha- Obviously I love you too, dork”
He couldn’t contain his smile anymore. And it was real. Youssef loved him. And he loved Youssef.