another boring a** social media fic

Yet Another Twitter Fic! (My first and likely only attempt at one)
Going against the wishes of May, Penny Parker decide to make herself her own Twitter account, quickly connecting with all of her friends on the platform. However, one exchange between her and Tony result in the internet having a small meltdown as they try to figure out whether or not Penny is Tony Stark's illegimate child from his playboy days. Meanwhile, Harley Keener is finally reconnecting with Tony and get interested in knowing more about the beautiful girl his mentor and father-figure emotionally adopted.
Mostly Stark (Tony, Pepper, Rhodey) and Parker (Penny, May) centric. And Harley too, of course.
The Avengers start joining in Chapter 18 and later.

Notes:

Inspired by Who the Fuck is Penny by orphan_account

First, I have no idea how far I will bring this one or whether it will even be good or not (I haven't used twitter in years, ironically). However, I love this kind of find of fic that can be read quickly and easily in between tasks. So, I decided to give it my own go. It follow the same base structure as a dozen other fics (Penny has an obscure account, Tony interact with her once and suddenly she become an internet sensation, etc)
Once more, I decided to use the Female Peter Parker and IronDad/Spider-Son tropes together. I love the combination of these two tropes so I'm doing that. If you don't like it, endure ;)
This fic take some inspiration from many, many fics but one that strike the most is "Penny Parker is a hot mess" by... well, I don't know since it's an orphan work. Still, it's my favourite fic of the genre so I'm somewhat inspiring myself from it (despite them being completely different).
Don't hesitate to give constructive feedback!

Chapter 1: Account Creation

Summary:

Penny make her Twitter account.

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
0 following 0 followers

@ParkourParker followed @JediNed, @MichelleJones and @IronMan

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
Hiya everyone!
4 replies, 0 RTs, 1 likes

>I'm in! @JediNed
penny youre on twitter?

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
yep! don't tell may :D

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Welcome in hell, loser.

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
aw love you too MJ!

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
so what do we do on here?
2 reply, 0 RTs, 0 like

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
You tweet.

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
thank you MJ,, very useful

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
@ParkourParker Ned said you couldn't have a Twitter earlier. Why?
5 reply, 0 RTs, 0 likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
aunt may said i couldn't. :(

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
And now she's fine with it?

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
...no?

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Why am I not surprised?

>>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
it's Penny. what did you expect?

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
what's everyone's @?
2 reply, 0 RTs, 0 like

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Wait I'll send them in DMs.

Private messages: MJ - BLM

MJ - BLM: here is everyone in AcaDec and other students close to us:
:@charlesM_01 = Charles Murphy
:@CMoonMoon = Cindy Moon
:@NotBrownButRed = Abe Brown
:@Bluebird = Sally Avril
:@JazIon = Jason Ionello
:@NotThatTiny = Brian McKeever
:@Hogglum = Seymour O'Reilly
:and @flasht2000 = Eugene Thompson

Pele-NOPE!: thanks MJ!

@ParkourParker followed @starreporter, @charlesM_01, @CMoonMoon, @NotBrownButRed, @bluebird, @JazIon, @NotThatTiny, @Hogglum and @flasht2000

Betty Brant @starreporter
welcome to twitter @ParkourParker !!!
6 reply, 3 RTs, 2 likes

>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
hi penny! @ParkourParker

>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
Not sure why you wanted to join the shithole that is twitter but sure whynot @ParkourParker

>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
Yo penny @ParkourParker

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
hi charles! why are you "glass-man?"

>>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
play on "Spider-Woman" and cuz kids used to bully me cuz of my glasses but I aint ashamed of them and Im letting everyone know that

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
can respect that

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
thanks everyone for your greetings!!!
0 reply, 1 RTs, 5 likes

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
ah goddammit!
12 reply, 0 RTs, 6 likes

>I'm in! @JediNed
pls no swearing on my christian minecraft server

>>I'm in! @JediNed
also what happened?

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
ran in a brick wall on my way to school

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
How did that happen? Also you're late for practice this morning.

>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
i would be there in time if it wasn't for that wall!

>>>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
Press X to doubt

>>>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
X
>>>>>>>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
X
>>>>>>>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
X
>>>>>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
X

>>>>>>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
X

>>>>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
wow really feeling the friendship here :(

The FLASH! @flasht2000
ew Parker just followed me.
2 reply, 0 RTs, 0 like

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
She's following everyone in AcaDec. Stop complaining.

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
heh

I'm in! @JediNed
lola bought me a lego star destroyer!!!! @ParkourParker want to come build it tonight?
4 reply, 0 RTs, 1 like

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
Holyshit yess!

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Losers.

>>>I'm in! @JediNed
thanks MJ

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
You're welcome.

Tony Stark @IronMan
Working on the Mark 48.
[The picture linked with the tweet show the helmet of the second Hulkbuster armour on a table in his lab. It's surrounded by tools and wires of all kind.]
251 reply, 8k RTs, 16k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
looking good mr.stark!!!

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Penny? Since when do you have a twitter? Did May change her mind about allowing you to make one?

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
hehe... about that...

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Of course you did it behind her back. Well, prepare my funeral because May is going to kill me.

>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
why? you didnt even know!

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Doesn't matter, kid. She's going to find a way to blame me either way.

@IronMan followed @ParkourParker

Jellybean @jellybean456789
ok I didn't hallucinate that, did I? Iron Man really had a chat with some random girl from Queens like they knew each other, right??
331 reply, 1k RTs, 5k likes

Chapter 2: #PennyStark and #IronDad

Summary:

Internet has its little meltdown as Tony try (and fail) to calm things down.

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
12 following 747 followers

coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
Who is @ParkourParker and why did @IronMan answer to her replies on his tweet? He never reply to anyone! this is big!
198 replies, 101 RTs, 302 likes

>jacksparrowfan @blackpearl01
ikr? like who is penny and why does he know her?

>Eleonore Elkins @pastelrosesEE
And who is this "May"? Stark is certainly scared of her.

>>#Blessed @blessedwithmyself
If she's anything like his fiance then it's understandable lol

thefunnyone @thefunnyone
personally i find it weird that a grown-ass man is following a teenage girl (smth obvious when you look at her profile) like wtf.
34 replies, 11 RTs, 23 likes

>Iron Man Stan @bored_as_hell
*gasps* not Tony Stark talking with a teenager!! /s

First Penny Parker Stan @parkerstan
Who is Penny Parker and why do I care so much about her already?
1 replies, 5 RTs, 9 likes

>uh @okay
weird flex but okay

Private messages: Tony Stark

Pele-NOPE!: Uh houston? we have a problem

Tony Stark: yeah no shit
:I should have expected it and talked to you in DMs instead of in public. Now because of me the Internet imploded and everyone is looking into your life. Sorry about that, kid.

Pele-NOPE!: its okay im not mad or anything. i have nothing to hide.

Tony Stark: Oh? Really? What about Spider-Woman?

Pele-NOPE!: oh yeah
:well that I doubt they'll find anything about it. I always made sure never to mention anything about spider-woman online.

Tony Stark: Oh. Good, then.
:Still, I'll have FRIDAY work on keeping the connection between you and your alter-ego hidden from everyone.

Pele-NOPE!: thanks!!
:anyway, because of the internet blowout May found out about my twitter account and now she's mad at me
:she said she would confiscate my phone
:oh and she want to talk to you

Tony Stark: Of course she does...
:well, I'll call her. wish me luck

Betty Brant @starreporter
So... is anyone gonna mention how Penny know Tony Stark? I know she said she had an internship but still...
10 replies, 2 RTs, 12 likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Well all I will say on the matter is that Flash is going to eat his words when he finds out.

>>I'm in! @JediNed
bold of you to assume he won't simply deny it. how much you bet that he say Penny hacked Mr. Stark's account?

>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Not wrong. Seem obvious now that you mention it so no bet.

>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
Well, I always believed her when she said she worked for Stark Industries unlike a certain someone (hint: flash).

>>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
I always thought she was joking. now I feel bad :(

>>>I'm in! @JediNed
dw. Penny won't hold it against you. you didn't act like an ass and kept your reservations to yourself so its fine.

>>>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
Ned's right. hell she'll probably forgive Flash if he apologize. I don't think Penny's capable of holding a grudge.

>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
That's wrong. I know for a fact Penny hate two people with her entire being.

>>>>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
really? who?

>>>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Not for me to tell, Brant.

The FLASH! @flasht2000
Iron Man replied to Parker's tweet? no way. she probably hacked his account to do it somehow
2 replies, 0 RTs, 0 like

>I'm in! @JediNed
HA! I knew it!

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
You're so predictable, Eugene.

Tony Stark @IronMan
A lot of people have been asking about Penny Parker (@ParkourParker) and what is her relationship with me. To make things clear, Penny is my personal intern. She won the position in a contest. She's as much of a genius as I am and I know she'll come to surpass me eventually.
215 replies, 11k RTs, 30k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Please everyone remember that @ParkourParker is a MINOR and thus taking photos of her while she is unaware is illegal. Should any be taken, the best lawyers Stark Industries have will come after your asses.

I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
Is it me or did Tony Stark sound like a proud and very protective dad?
160 replies, 1005 RTs, 19k likes

>Queen @cupcakequeen98
Not just you. Def sounded like a dad

>>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
And what about the one he called May? sound like her mom to me...

>>>Look at my cat! @kittenlover
Hey, do you think that mean he's actually her dad? Like this Penny Parker is his illegitimate daughter or smth?

>>>>Lily @lilsunshine24
Holy shit! They even look alike!

I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
since my previous tweet got so many replies, let make a new thread for the Penny Parker is Tony Stark's daughter theory.
92 replies, 1450 RTs, 21k likes

>I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
#1: Penny's birth seemed to take place right in the middle of Tony's playboy years.

>I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
#2: Penny and Tony Stark look close enough to one another to possibly be father/daughter.

>I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
#3: From Tony's own admission, Penny is as much of a genius as he is, maybe even more. Did she inherit her mind from him? We all know Tony's more of a genius than Howard Stark so it's possible the cycle is continuing.

>I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
#4: from the little we saw, Tony is very much protective of Penny Parker which would not be surprising if he was her father.

>I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
#5: and not only is he protective but he acts very much like a proud father.

>>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
just about sums it up #IronDad #PennyStark

>>>Queen @cupcakequeen98
holy shit yes! #IronDad #PennyStark

The New York Times @nytimes
The future of Stark Industries and the Avengers if it is confirmed Tony Stark is a father: #IronDad #PennyStark [link to an article]
36 replies, 560 RTs, 10k likes

BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed
Iron Man a father? More likely than you thought! #IronDad #PennyStark [link to an article]
41 replies, 421 RTs, 13k likes

The Daily Bugle @DailyBugle
A third generation of merchants of death? It might unfortunately be the case. Earth, be ready. [link to an article]
62 replies, 135 RTs, 5k likes

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
#PennyStark and #IronDad are trending worldwide? Lol not what I expected when I woke up this morning.
160 replies, 1005 RTs, 19k likes

>I'm in! @JediNed
i wonder how Penny will react when she find out...

Chapter 3: Harley Keener Reconnects

Summary:

Harley finds out about Penny and ask Tony about it.

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
12 following 5021 followers

@ParkourParker followed @MayParker
@MayParker followed @ParkourParker

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
i'm back! May took away my phone because she was mad I created this account but now i have it back and she said i could continue using it :D
231 replies, 6011 RTs, 21k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
she did tell me I would have to follow her account and she would follow me back to "ensure I wouldn't say stupid shit" whatever that means...

>>May Parker @MayParker
It means what it means, Penny.

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Welcome on Twitter, May! Glad to see someone else here to help control this child.

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
did she ask you to say that? lmfao

@IronMan followed @MayParker

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
let me tell you, it was a strange week. everyone at school kept staring at me and I have no idea why. some even took pictures of me! i know Mr. Stark talked to me on twitter but I really don't get why it interest people to that point
123 replies, 5976 RTs, 20k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Check what's trending lol.

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
what do you mean people think im Mr. Stark's daughter? what the fuck is wrong with you?
449 replies, 16k RTs, 34k likes

>May Parker @MayParker
Language, honey!

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
May, pls...

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Not sure how I should interpret that...

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
oh no no no no no mr. stark!! im not saying its wrong to have you as a father. any girl would be lucky to have you as their dad. i just dont understand why people think we are related.

>>>I'm in! @JediNed
well Penny, people made a lot of good points.

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
wdym?

>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Stark is very protective of you and act like a proud dad when talking about you. You're a genius like he is, you kind of look like him and you were born right in the middle of his playboy years.

>>>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
oh...

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
@IronMan hey old man! why'd you never tell me you had a daughter?
1 replies, 29 RTs, 112 likes

>The Dummy of Twitter @hellothere05
lol why d'you think tony stark would answer you?

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Harley???

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
sup Mechanic. now, you gonna answer my question?

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
wait I'll send a DM

I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
Does Tony Stark have another child??
[link to Harley's tweet]
29 replies, 114 RTs, 415 likes

Private messages: Harley

Tony Stark: Is that really you Harley?

Harley: I could give you proof but I don't think it's necessary. We're connected, after all!

Tony Stark: Yep, definetly you.
:Damn, it's been so long since we've talked! Last few times I tried to call you, your phone wouldn't connect. I assumed you changed phone numbers and would call me back but you never did.

Harley: We had a telecommunication blackout for two years in shittown tennessee
:started two weeks after the last time we called
:there was internet but it was only accessible to the local goverment and some small businesses which required it to survive. no phone lines though
:it wasn't 'til a few months ago that everything was fixed properly.
:tried calling you myself but your new AI wouldn't let me connect.

Tony Stark: Right, FRIDAY's the one in charge now and I haven't told her you're someone who could call me on my private number.

Harley: what happened to JARVIS?

Tony Stark: Ultron killed him.

Harley: :(
:Well, before things get too sad
:When were you going to mention you had a daughter?

Tony Stark: I don't-!
:Why does everyone keep saying that!

Harley: Everyone?

Tony Stark: Pepper and Happy.
:Hell, even May said I kind of acted like her father less than a week ago!!

Harley: "May" is her...?

Tony Stark: aunt

Harley: I see...
:She's not your biological child

Tony Stark: Exactly!

Harley: but you emotionally adopted her as your own daughter.

Tony Stark: goddammit

Harley: Fatherhood must be good for you, old man. You didn't even swear!

Tony Stark: shut it you little shit

Harley: Aaah here's the mechanic I know and love.
:Anyway, when are you going to introduce me to her?

Tony Stark: you want to meet her?

Harley: sure, why not. she seem like a good person and she's beautiful
:...
:tony?

Tony Stark: goddamn maybe I am turning into a dad because I could swear I got an unpleasant feeling in my stomach when you called Penny beautiful

Harley: LMAO #IronDad

Tony Stark: shut it
:but sure, if your mother agree, I don't mind flying you to New York to Stark Tower to meet her.

Harley: don'T worry about transport. I'll drive there myself.

Tony Stark: ok
:Wait drive??
:Since when do you have a car?

Harley: since last month lol
:just got my driving license

Tony Stark: With what money though? Last time we talked, you mentioned how your mum had a hard time getting enough money to pay for everything including school for you and your sister.
:though might I remind you that I did offer to send your family some money to ensure you don't have to worry about money ever again

Harley: we don't take charity

Tony Stark: just like Penny god damn

Harley: really? good to know
:anyway, for how I got the money
:There's not a lot of tech experts in my corner of tennessee so when the communication blackout happened, my expertise on tech was *greatly* appreciated
:let's just say I have more than enough money to buy myself a car and pay for school for my sister and full tuition at MIT for myself once I'm old enough.
:so money is not really an issue any longer.

Tony Stark: shit that's great! proud of you, potato-guy!

Harley: thanks, Mechanic.

@MechanicOfTennessee followed @IronMan
@IronMan followed @MechanicOfTennessee

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
who is @MechanicOfTennessee? Do you know him @IronMan?
210 replies, 2k RTs, 14k likes

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
still can't believe he didn't tell you about me >:(

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Yeah I know him. He helped me during the whole Mandarin situation.

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
by that he mean he broke in my garage and made himself right at home without asking

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
sounds about right. well anyhow, glad to learn about you! want to discuss in DMs how to give mr. stark a heart attack?

>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
but of course! anything for you my lady!

@ParkourParker followed @MechanicOfTennessee
@MechanicOfTennessee followed @ParkourParker

Tony Stark @IronMan
Oh god what have I done???
190 replies, 8k RTs, 21k likes

Chapter 4: Private Messages

Summary:

Penny and Harley talk in private messages and Rhodey decide to pour fuel on the fire by sharing his most memorable #IronDad moments.

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
14 following 11k followers

Private messages: Harley

Harley: so how did you meet Tony?

Pele-NOPE!: came back home from school to find him chilling in my living room eating my aunt's date loaf. saw me and said "hey, youre an intern now! wanna come to germany with me?" and i thought sure why not

Harley: sounds like him
:the first time I met him, he was chilling in my garage and didn't even bat an eye when I asked him what he was doing here
:was like "hey can you get me a sandwich im starving"

Pele-NOPE!: lool

Harley: anyway
:do you want to ask questions to each other so we each get to know more about Tony's other science child?

Pele-NOPE!: okay
:i'll start

Harley: Sure

Pele-NOPE!: what's your full name?
:lame i know but idk what else to ask now
:and i only know your first name

Harley: Harley Patrick Keener
:you?

Pele-NOPE: nice to meet you Mr. H.P.Keener!!
:i'm Penelope Maybelle Parker

Harley: i like your name
:it's cute

Pele-NOPE!: thanks!!
:you next

Harley: ummmm
:favourite sport?

Pele-NOPE!: well, i don't really have one
:but if i have to answer, id say hockey

Harley: rly? why?

Pele-NOPE!: my uncle ben was a huge fan
:he even played hockey every few weekends with people from his work
:almost everynight he used to watch a NHL game and i occasionally joined in because i was bored
:his favourite team were the Islanders

Harley: cool
:hockey's not bad
:why doesn't he anymore though?

Pele-NOPE!: he was murdered about a year ago :((

Harley: oh
:I'm sorry for asking

Pele-NOPE!: no no don't!
:it doesnt hurt anymore
:i mean i still miss him a lot but his memory doesnt make me want to cry anymore

Harley: i understand
:sometimes I miss my father even though he abandonned me when i was a kid and was a piece of shit
:i hate him but i also miss him sometimes
:must be much harder for you
:its obvious you loved one another

Pele-NOPE!: im sorry for your dad
:and yeah he was the best
:anyway...
:what's your favourite sport?

Harley: well it depends on your definition of "sport"

Pele-NOPE!: wdym?

Harley: i'm not really fan of sports like soccer or hockey or basket or any sports played in a stadium, you know?
:i mean there's nothing wrong with them and I can enjoy watching a match of them but it never grabbed my interest

Pele-NOPE!: fair enough
:so what's your fav sport?

Harley: Formula 1

Pele-NOPE!: rly?

Harley: yeah I like motorsports a lot but F1's my favourite

Pele-NOPE!: i heard mr. stark talk about it a few times. i think he's a fan

Harley: He is
:it used to be one of the topics we talked about a lot back then
:we had huge discussions on who's better. Sebastian Vettel or Lewis Hamilton. Tony said Seb and I said Lewis.

Pele-NOPE!: sry but I don't know a lot (or anything about F1) so I don't know who they are

Harley: right
:Vettel was the world champion between 2010 and 2013. Hamilton won in 2008 and won again in 2014 and 2015

Pele-NOPE!: not last year? did he retire from the sport or smth?

Harley: nah that was his teammate
:Nico Rosberg (his teammate) beat him to the championship then scrammed off

Pele-NOPE!: oh ok
:well it's nice to know you and mr. stark have something in common
:do you think he'd like it if I knew about f1 too?

Harley: you shoudn't follow a sport just to impress someone penny
:i'm sure tony would prefer to see you enjoy your own passions than to follow his just for the sake of making him proud or happy
:he told me once that's what he used to do with his dad and hated it since he felt like he was trying to be someone else
:so he'd probably hate it too if he realized you were doing he's probably feel guilty or something

Pele-NOPE!: okay i wont
:i mean i might take a look but not for mr. stark's sake. just for my curiosity

Harley: good good
:anyway I believe it's your turn to ask a question

Pele-NOPE!: right!
:well... what's your favourite food?

Harley: ice cream lol
:but if you mean an actual meal then my mom's spagetti and meatballs
:she has her own tomato sauce recipe that make it amazing good

Pele-NOPE!: makes me hungry just to think about it!

Harley: what about you?

Pele-NOPE!: cheeseburgers lmao

Harley: so same as tony's fav meal? lol

Pele-NOPE!: yeah
:that's why i don't get why he always order pizza when im at the tower lol

Harley: who knows what goes through his mind lol

Pele-NOPE!: yeah lmao
:anyway if i had to choose something fancier than burgers as my favourite meal then I'd say chicken parm
:it's the only recipe my aunt can do perfectly for some reason
:she constantly botches must easier recipes but chicken parm? nope perfectly fine

Harley: i wouldn't call chicken parm "fancy" lol

Pele-NOPE!: bruh
:then if I had to chose something EVEN FANCIER then cacio e pepe

Harley: tony's?

Pele-NOPE: yeah
:idk how he does it but its sooo dreamy!
:makes my mouth salivate just to think about it

Harley: yeah I ate it once when i was at the tower
:it was very good

Pele-NOPE!: it is!
:i wish i could do the recipe tho
:i tried once and the sauce was all greasy and disgusting idk why :(

Harley: i think tony once said you had to be very precise with the temperature or the cheese would... something
:i forgot

Pele-NOPE!: well i know i wont try it again
:anyway, your question's next

Harley: ok uh...
:will sound stupid but this:
:whats your favourite video game?

Pele-NOPE!: zelda twilight princess
:you?

Harley: Oh yeah that's a good one
mine's team fortress 2

Pele-NOPE!: oh i know that one!
:never played it but Ned (my best friend and bro in all that matters) loves it
:ok my turn
:uhhh
:favourite country that's not the US?

Harley: what kind of question is that lmfao

Pele-NOPE!: idk, ok???
:im having a blank!!

Harley: lol
:well if i had to chose then britain
:you?

Pele-NOPE!: australia

Harley: interesting answer
:why?

Pele-NOPE!: its stupid
:you will laugh

Harley: i wont i promise

Pele-NOPE!: i like the country because i love how they lost a war to birds

Harley: LOLL!!!

Pele-NOPE!: you said you wouldn't laugh!!!

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Just came back from a mission and suddenly I find out that everyone think that @IronMan is a father? What happened?
133 replies, 3001 RTs, 18k likes

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Okay, I just saw #IronDad and #PennyStark. All I can say is that I'm not surprised. They might not be related but they really do act like father and daughter sometimes.
145 replies, 6k RTs, 22k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Damn it Rhodey not you too...

>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Don't deny it Tony.

>Joelle @happinesssss15
can you share some exemples?

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Sure, why not. Right off the bat, the thing I remember the most is the time @ParkourParker got injured while working on a new invention with Tony. It was nothing bad, just a cut on the palm of her hand. But Tony completely freaked out, bandaged her hand for her (despite Penny being more than able to do it herself) before carrying her to the living room, ordering pizza and watching Star Wars with her.
[link to @happinesssss15's reply]
211 replies, 9k RTs, 31k likes

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
That night, Penny fell asleep once they reached Return of the Jedi and Tony gently and quietly carried her to her room. I never saw such a fond look in his eyes before. Not even Pepper manage to make him act like that and he's utterly in love with her.

>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
He is also very proud of her achievements. I don't think I've seen him prouder than when Penny won her engineering contest at her school two months ago. The man revolutionised many fields of science and tech yet his proudest moment in his life was when his kid won a contest at school.

>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Mind you, Penny's not the only one Tony can help but treat as his own. There's also @MechanicOfTennessee who Tony often spoke of with pride before they lost contact a few months before Ultron. That is when he didn't just fly him to the tower for the weekend just to spend time with the kid.

>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
The man's a dad. He just doesn't realize it yet.

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Stop exposing me, Rhodey!!

>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
told him the same in DMs a few days ago. He's #IronDad alright

>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
well all I will say is that anyone would be very lucky to have @IronMan as a dad

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Thanks, Pen.

KittyKat @purrfectkitty35
@IronMan being super paternal with @ParkourParker and Penny comforting him by saying anyone would be lucky to be his child is the kind of interaction I want to see more! #IronDad
81 replies, 8k RTs, 20k likes

>unicornmagic234 @unicornmagic234
ikr?? #IronDad

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Anyone saw Eugene? The idiot didn't attend practice this afternoon.
2 replies, 4 RTs, 45 likes

>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
I think Flash finally realised that Penny and Tony Stark's interactions are legit. He's hiding his face lmfao

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Well @flasht2000 you better get your ass here next time or I'm kicking you off the team.

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
"We aren't father and daughter!" Tony and Penny say.
Also them:
[Photo with Tony and Penny as the subjects. They both sitting on a sofa together. Penny is seen cuddling in Tony, who has a protective arm around her shoulders. Both are asleep and unaware they are taken in a photo.]
103 replies, 20k RTs, 41k likes

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
damn life is so unfair
56 replies, 8k RTs, 23k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
What happened???

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
She's just sad because she's unable to play the new Legend of Zelda lol. Her and @JediNed kept complaining about not having a Nintendo Switch at lunch

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
omg @IronMan you didnt need to buy me a switch!!
121 replies, 14k RTs, 33k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
You were complaining because you didn't have the game you wanted. Now you have it so stop complaining and enjoy it, kid.

>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
If you needed any more #IronDad proof, there it is. Whatever the kid want the kid gets.

Chapter 5: Secrets

Summary:

Penny accidently outs herself.

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
15 following 23k followers

@ParkourParker followed @warmachine
@warmachine followed @ParkourParker

Tony Stark @Iron Man
That kid I swear...
87 replies, 21k RTs, 45k likes

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
haha i just saw spider-woman crash right through a glass panel lmfao
223 replies, 29k RTs, 40k likes

>Jellybean @jellybean456789
Is that what @IronMan meant in his last tweet?

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
yeah lol. love spider-woman but shes a dumb bitch

>>>Tony Stark @Iron Man
Do not insult each other, please...

Joelle @happinesssss15
Tony Stark being a tired dad #IronDad
[Link to Tony's reply to Penny's own.]
12 replies, 4k RTs, 10k likes

jacksparrowfan @blackpearl01
if you know spiderwoman then do you know why she isnt on twitter
145 replies, 8k RTs, 20k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
shes scared of accidently revealing her identity lol. like i said, shes a dumb bitch

>>thefunnyone @thefunnyone
how did you meet her tho? and how did tony stark first met her?

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
mr. stark introduced me to her after i accidently walked on her testing her new suit in the lab

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
as for how mr. stark met her, spidey once told me the story. she came back from patrol to see him chilling in his living room eating date loaf. and he was like "hey, wanna come to germany to beat cap's ass?" and she said yes

>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Wait a minute...

>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
oh fuck!

Private messages: Harley

Harley: so...
:you're Spider-Woman?

Pele-NOPE!: uhhh
:no?
:idk what youre talking about

Harley: Penny, your story of how Spidey met Tony is nearly identical to how you told me you met him
:its kind of obvious

Pele-NOPE!: alright fine!
:yes i am

Harley: knew it

Pele-NOPE!: goddammit mr. stark is going to kill me
:he said my secret identity has to be on a very need to know basis

Harley: dw i wont talk
:I can keep a secret

Pele-NOPE!: thanks
:i trust you

Harley: thanks
:and i trust you too

Pele-NOPE!: :¦D

Private messages: MJ - BLM

MJ - BLM: Haha you dumb bitch.

Pele-NOPE!: ???

MJ - BLM: Can't believe you accidently revealed your secret identity to this Harley. lol

Pele-NOPE!: YOU KNOW TOO???
:i mean
:idk what youre talking about

MJ - BLM: Subtle, dork.

Pele-NOPE!: aight fine
:how did you figure it out?

MJ - BLM: I overheard you and Ned talk about it during lunch.
:You two really need to be more discreet.

Pele-NOPE!: damn i really am a stupid bitch

MJ - BLM: Yeah but you're also the best member of AcaDec so you better not use it as an excuse to leave, alright?

Pele-NOPE!: i would never!!!

MJ - BLM: Right...

Private messages: Tony Stark

Pele-NOPE!: i fucked up...

Tony Stark: First, language
:Second, what did you do?
:Do I need to bail you out of jail?

Pele-NOPE!: what no??!
:i mean I screwed up royally
:Harley and MJ both know im spider-woman!!

Tony Stark:...
:Ok, tell me how that happened

Pele-NOPE!: well mj figured it out because she overheard me and Ned talk about it at school
:and Harley know because I told him in dms that the first time i met you i came back from school to see you in my living room eating may's date loaf and then i told someone on twitter that spidey first met you when she came home from patrol to see you sitting in her living room eating date loaf. i also said both times that you invited us to germany for internship/kicking cap's ass and we said yes

Tony Stark: wow
:I really need to teach you how to actually keep a secret.

Pele-NOPE!: sry mr. stark :'(

Tony Stark: Its okay.
:At least we know both of them are reliable and won't tell anyone.
:But next time please be careful Pen!

Pele-NOPE!: i will!

Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
you know, reading Penny's tweets is kinda entertaining.
31 replies, 150 RTs, 504 likes

>Betty Brant @starreporter
It's not entertaining when you're asked to make a news segment on it >:(

>>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
big oof

Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
You know, its funny to see that we all gained followers just because we were the only ones that interacted with Penny before Stark did lol
49 replies, 211 RTs, 871 likes

>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
Look at @JediNed and @MichelleJones. Both have more than a thousand followers just because they're her closest friends.

>>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
twitter really want to know more about penny

>>>#Blessed @blessedwithmyself
Yes we do! Can you tell us more about her?

>>>>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
No.

>>>>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
no

>>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
No

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
No.

>>>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
No we aint no snitch. get the fuck out my twitter

>>>>coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
adghdaoi EVEN TONY STARK TOLD YOU NO LOL!

>>>>>#Blessed @blessedwithmyself
:(

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
mr. stark and i are almost done working on something lifechanging! im so exciteed!!!!
140 replies, 37k RTs, 56k likes

>I'm in! @JediNed
really? what is it?

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
tell you in dms

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Penny, you should have waited until an official announcement before saying something.

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
sry mr. stark :(

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Can't wait to see what it is. i'm sure its great since Penny worked on it

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
:¦D

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Stop flirting with my kid potato-guy!

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
dad oml

>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
MR. STARK I MEAN MR. STARK!

>>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
nooo stop retweeting this!!!!

Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Anyone know why Tony just ran out of an important meeting shrieking wildly at the top of his lungs?
213 replies, 51k RTs, 66k likes

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
[Link to Penny's reply.]

>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Ah. That makes sense. Well, it was a long time coming.

Chapter 6: The Heater

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
15 following 41k followers

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
I would like to publicly apologize to @VirginiaPotts and the PR team at @StarkIndustries for giving them more work to do :(
341 replies, 37k RTs, 51k likes

>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
It's okay, Penny. Everything will be fine. ;)

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
wait a minute. Why does she get a pat on the head when she give PR more work but I end up sleeping on the couch when I do??? #unfair

>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
She's small and cute and make me want to protect her and tell her everything will be fine. You aren't.

>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
I agree.

>>>>>May Parker @MayParker
So do I.

>>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
jealous? @IronMan

>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
No I'm not! I can be small and cute as well! @warmachine light of my life, back me up!

>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
You? Cute? When?

>>>>>>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
oof Mr. warmachine just murdered @IronMan

Holly C. @bearscout
Is nobody going to talk about how @ParkourParker called @IronMan dad and Tony freaked out about it?
213 replies, 27k RTs, 43k likes

>HHH @hubhunhut
hh it was hilarious! i wonder when the two of them are going to get their shit together and awknowledge the truth

>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Both are too afraid of the other's reaction to bring it up. Was she joking? Will he reject her? The answer to both is no but both think it might be 'yes'. They're idiots.

>>>HHH @hubhunhut
ljnadjdaad warmachine replied!!!

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Stop telling about us Rhodey!

I'm in! @JediNed
I said it then I'll say it now. Breath of the Wild is AWESOME!
41 replies, 3056 RTs, 11k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
hell yeah it is! best game everr!!!

>>I'm in! @JediNed
still can't belive @IronMan bought you a Switch and the game! he's so cool!!

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
I'm just that cool, Ted.

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
it's "Ned" and you know it! stop mispronouncing it on purpose to annoy me!! >:(

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
@MechanicOfTennessee i think you underestimated how much mr. stark love formula 1. i woke up at 8 in the morning when he yelled at the tv because his fav driver retired lol
201 replies, 21k RTs, 49k likes

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
It's the man who hijacked the car Stark Ind was sponsoring at the 2011 Monaco GP and drove it himself against regulations. what did you expect?

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
oh yeah i forgot he did that. it was the one with whiplash invading the race, right?

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
yes.

>I'm in! @JediNed
wait did you sleep at Stark Tower?? that's so cool!!

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
i didnt. i mean i have a room there but thats not what happened.

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
mr. stark drove me home last night after internship but may wasnt there since she was working and becuz he was afraid she would be mad for leaving me alone he opted to stay

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
in the end we both fell asleep before she came back. mr. stark slept on our couch.

>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
i expected him to go home once may returned and woke him up but he was still there this morning, having hijacked our tv to watch the latest F1 race. he woke us up with his excited yells. this man i swear...

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Sorry, kid.

>>>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
i think @MayParker the one you should apologize to lol. shes the one you woke up barely three hours after she went to sleep lol

>>>>>>>>May Parker @MayParker
My niece is right, Stark. Where's my apology?

>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Sorry, May! Please don't murder me!

-------------------------------

Stark Industries Official @StarkIndustries
ANNOUNCEMENT: Next month, a new line of portable, energy efficients heaters will be released world-wide. With their solar panel, the heaters will not require an electrical connection to an outlet. It will be available for only 30$USD. More information here: [Link to the Stark Industries website.]
541 replies, 71k RTs, 110k likes

>I'm in! @JediNed
Is that what you meant the other day when you mentioned a project you almost finished working on with Mr. Stark?

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
yepp!! took us seven months but we made affordable heaters! theyre powerful enough to heat a whole room but energy efficient enough to recharge their batteries with their solar panel during the day! while you can plug them in the wall to recharge it, you dont need to as long as its exposed to enough sunlight!!

>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Holy fuck that's amazing.

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
cant believe i made mj swear! :D

Tony Stark @IronMan
Most of the credits for this new invention go to @ParkourParker. It was her idea and she's the one who did most of the work.
Very proud of your work, Penny! #PennysHeater
[Link to Stark Industries' tweet.]
349 replies, 45k RTs, 96k likes

>May Parker @MayParker
That's amazing, Penny! Ben would be so proud of you! I know I am.

>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
I believe the future is in good hands with such brilliant individuals in the next generation.

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Who's suprised Tony's kid invented something life-changing: not me. Good work, @ParkourParker !

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
thank youu all! @IronMan @MayParker @warmachine @VirginiaPotts
237 replies, 34k RTs, 86k likes

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Well, all that with the #PennysHeater just made me want to meet @ParkourParker in person even more. Hey @IronMan, I think I'll come this weekend.
176 replies, 21k RTs, 45k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Alright! We'll be waiting for you!

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
cant wait to meet you harley!

Joelle @happinesssss15
@warmachine Is @IronMan even prouder now with the announcement of the #PennysHeater? #IronDad
98 replies, 24k RTs, 39k likes

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Oh certainly. He was grinning for three days straight after Penny completed it.

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Of course I was! The kid's brilliant, let me tell you!

>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
You already did, Tony. Yesterday and every day for the last six months...

>>>>coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
#IronDad?

>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
#IronDad

Private messages: May Parker

Pele-NOPE!: may i need help!!

May Parker: What for, honey?

Pele-NOPE!: harley is visiting the tower this weekend and i want to make a good impression!
:but idk how??

May Parker: What kind of good impression do you want to make?

Pele-NOPE!: urggggg
:idk
:i dont want him to reject me

May Parker: reject you? What do you mean?

Pele-NOPE!: IDK!
:thats why i need help!!

May Parker: Oh boy...
:Okay, we'll talk about it this afternoon when I'm back from work, okay?

Pele-NOPE!: ok may

Private messages: Tony Stark

May Parker: I think my niece is falling for this Harley.

Tony Stark: WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
:THEY NEVER EVEN MET EACH OTHER??
:AND SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO DATE!

May Parker: Alright, calm down the overprotective father act, Stark.
:And I know they haven't met in person but they talked online. I think I heard them call each other the other day as well.
:Penny mention him at least twice a day.
:So I think its fair to say she's developing some sort of feelings for him despite never meeting in person.
:Especially since she asked me to help her make a good impression so she doesn't "get rejected"

Tony Stark: Get rejected?
:Is she going to ask him on a date?

May Parker: I don't know.
:I don't think she does either.
:But even if that's the case, then let her be. Don't try to stop them because I know you will, Stark.
:Leave the kids have their fun.

Tony Stark: But what if something goes wrong? I dont want them to be heartbroken!

May Parker: I hope Penny wont either but if it happens then it happens.
:We need to trust them with their own lives.
:In the worst case scenario, it will be a life experience that will help her deal with future relationships.
:And if you need more of an inscentive not to interfere if something happens between them:
:I'll tell Pepper to look after you

Tony Stark: Wait no don't!

SAvril @Bluebird
You know at this point I think I would be more surprised if @ParkourParker wasn't @IronMan's daughter than if she was. I mean our classmate invented something that will change the life of millions and she hasn't even graduated high school yet.
21 replies, 456 RTs, 1293 likes

>Betty Brant @starreporter
I know right? It's crazy! I know I wouldn't have been able to do the same and yet here we are...

Notes:

The idea for the cheap portable heaters invented by Penny came from another social media fic. I don't remember which one though. I read so many of them its hard to differentiate them sometimes.

Chapter 7: Adopted?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
15 following 84k followers

Arrows Media @ArrowsMedia
We have a vote for you today about #IronDad and #PennyStark. RETWEET if you believe @IronMan and @ParkourParker are not related AND genuinly do not realize they act like father/daughter or LIKE if you believe Tony and Penny are biologically related but hide that fact by pretending otherwise publicly.
415 replies, 23k RTs, 91k likes

>SAvril @Bluebird
I go to school with Penny. I know she not the kind of person who would be able to keep such a big secret from everyone. I believe the first answer is the right one.

>>I'm in! @JediNed
Well i mean, while i dont believe theyre biologically related, i know Penny is capable of keeping some very important secrets.

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
NED!!

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
honestly all these talks about my parentage just make me want to take a picture of my birth certificate and post it online for everyone to see
341 replies, 51k RTs, 113k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
actually you know what? thats exactly what ill do

>>May Parker @MayParker
DO NOT POST YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE ONLINE PENELOPE PARKER!

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
oof full name

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Jesus christ Penny that's like common sense...

>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Bold of you to assume Penny has common sense lol.

>>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
:(

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
ok i WONT post a pic of my birth certificate but ill at least tell you what names are written on it so you can yall shut up
289 replies, 43k RTs, 87k likes

Private messages: May Parker

Pele-NOPE!: May where is my birth certificate?
:i wont post it online, i swear
:i just want to see it

May Parker: Why do you want to see it that badly, honey?

Pele-NOPE!: well partly to shut people up
:and partly for my peace of mind
:there so many people calling me mr. stark's daughter that im starting to believe it myself
:but i know thats not how he see me!! im just his intern superhero protegee to him, not his daughter
:and i dont wanna be heartbroken by getting my hopes up :(

May Parker: Okay, first, I'm pretty sure Stark not seeing you as his daughter is bullshit, Penny.
:You might not realize it but Pepper, Rhodey, Happy and I all did. The man does see you as his daughter. And I know he didn't mind when you accidently called him 'dad' on Twitter. If anything he was overjoyed from what Pepper told me.
:Second, if you insist on seeing your birth certificate so much, then I think it might be with other paperwork in the locker next to the bathroom

Pele-NOPE!: okay ill go check
:and...

May Parker: What is it, Penny?

Pele-NOPE!: do you think Ben would mind if I did see mr. stark as a dad or would he be angry or disappointed?
:i mean, he and you were the ones to raise me, not mr. stark...

May Parker: Ben would want you to be happy, Penny. He wouldn't be hurt if you called Stark Dad. He would be happy for you.

Pele-NOPE!: thanks :)

...

Pele-NOPE!: May? I found it...

May Parker: Good. Happy now?

Pele-NOPE!: uh... did you know?

May Parker: ?
:Know what?

Pele-NOPE!: Posted two pictures.
[The first picture show Penny's birth certificate, except her name is not Penelope Maybelle Parker but Penelope Stewart. The name of the father is absent and the name of the mother is Jasmine Marie Stewart.]
[The second picture show a letter from Richard Parker to Ben dated a few months before his death. In it, he tell him that Penny was adopted after her birth mother, a twenty-two-year-old friend and coworker of theirs, died in childbirth. He explain that an accident at work caused Mary to be unable to have children herself, which prompted them to look into adoption. Knowing this, when their friend learned she was going to die giving birth to her daughter, she asked them to adopt Penny so her daughter could have two loving parents while also allowing Richard and Mary to have the child they wished for, killing two birds with one stone. He then ask Ben to raise Penny with May should he and Mary die while she is still underage. He concludes by saying he is planning on telling Penny about her adoption once she is eighteen and ask him to keep it from her should he and May raise her until that age so Penny doesn't feel like she doesn't belong in their family, especially if the couple has actual biological children of their own in the meantime.]

May Parker: My god...
:I didn't know, Penny. I swear.
:Ben was always the one to handle the paperwork when it was time to register you to school or others.
:He never told me you were adopted either.

Pele-NOPE!: i believe you
:its... crazy
:idk what to think

May Parker: Well, in the end, it doesn't matter.
:You're still the niece I know and love very much and nothing will change that.

Pele-NOPE!: thanks

May Parker: My shift is over soon.
:If you want, we can go eat something at a restaurant tonight.

Pele-NOPE!: i would like to :)

Private messages: Tony Stark

Pele-NOPE!: mr. stark?

Tony Stark: What is it, Penny?

Pele-NOPE!: did you know i was adopted?

Tony Stark: I hope you aren't joking because I just spat my drink.

Pele-NOPE!: I'm not.
:Posted two pictures.
[Same pictures as before.]

Tony Stark: Holy shit
:How are you taking it?
:I presume it must be very shocking to find something like that about yourself.

Pele-NOPE!: it is
:at first i thought may hid it from me for reasons but she told me she didnt know
:and she said it doesnt matter, im still her niece

Tony Stark: Gods bless your aunt.

Pele-NOPE!: yeah shes great
:but im wondering what happened to my birth parents. the letter to my uncle say my mother died in childbirth but other than her name idk who she is
:and i dont know anything about my birth father
:no name or look or occupation
:nothing

Tony Stark: If you want, you can pass by the tower. I can have FRIDAY look around to see if she can find something on your biological parents, if you want.

Pele-NOPE!: i would like that
:thanks mr. stark :)

Tony Stark: You're welcome, kid

Betty Brant @starreporter
So @ParkourParker, what's the names on the birth certificate? I mean, I already know the answer but you did promise Internet :PP
187 replies, 21k RTs, 43k likes

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
yeah, about that... @starreporter
[link to Betty's tweet.]
690 replies, 78k RTs, 154k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
I found my birth certificate. And I was adopted...

>>I'm in! @JediNed
wait really??

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
yeah. if we believe what my adoptive father told my uncle in a letter he wrote before his death, my birth mother died giving birth to me and since she was friend with my adoptive parents, she asked them to adopt me. idk who my bio father is since his name is not on the certificate.

>>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
Holy shit!

>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
yeah...

The Prost News @ProstNews
Penny Parker adopted! Is the theory that she's Tony Stark's daughter closer to reality than we first thought? [Link to an article.]
316 replies, 1k RTs, 5k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
yoo im still a minor is that even legal to speculate about my personal life???

>Tony Stark @IronMan
You better retract this if you don't want to get sued.

Notes:

A bit shorter chapter I know. For now I'll stop a bit on the #IronDad plot because I'm realizing I'm going a bit too fast for my liking. The next two (maybe three) chapters will be about Harley's visit to New York and his developing relationship with Penny. The somewhat obvious conclusion to Penny is adopted plot will be in Chapter 10.

Chapter 8: The First Meeting

Summary:

Penny makes an announcement on her Twitter.com and Rhodey describe Harley's first evening with Penny at the tower to Internet.

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
15 following 120k followers

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
I've come to make an announcement: Captain America's a bitch-ass motherfucker.
346 replies, 63k RTs, 72k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
What brought that on?

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
had a harsh reminder this morning of how much of an bitch-ass motherfucker he is

>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
It happened again?

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
yeah. i swear imma hit him if i ever see that ass again

>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Fair enough.

>May Parker @MayParker
Penny! I understand your anger but please watch your language!

>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
sorry may :(

Eleonore Elkins @pastelrosesEE
So @ParkourParker has a thing against Captain America? What happened??
96 replies, 5k RTs, 14k likes

>Lonq @lonq
well theres been rumors that captain america nearly killed iron man. idk if theres any truth to it but if there is then it could explain it

>>Alessa @honeylike
Considering neither her friend nor aunt seemed shocked at the hate and even appear understanding, then maybe its justified. It could mean the theory is true. It would explain that behaviour.

Betty Brant @starreporter
@MichelleJones You said a few weeks ago that Penny hated two people with her entire being. Is Captain America one of them?
102 replies, 7k RTs, 31k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Yes. I won't explain the story since it's not mine to tell but Penny has genuine hatred for the 1940s' man.

>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
But why?? I get his PSAs are horrible but to the point of hatred?

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
because he's a hypocrite lying piece of shit!!

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Wait @ParkourParker, why do you hate Captain America so much? What happened?
156 replies, 11k RTs, 45k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
you mean you dont know??

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Know what?

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
wait ill tell you in dms

Betty Brant @starreporter
If Steve Rogers is the first person, then who's the second person you hate the most? @ParkourParker
98 replies, 6k RTs, 29k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
black widow. shes a traitorous backstabbing bitch!!

>>May Parker @MayParker
What did I say about language?!

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
oop

#Blessed @blessedwithmyself
So @ParkourParker hate captain America and Black widow. interesting...
56 replies, 3021k RTs, 25k likes

Private messages: Harley

Harley: so, why do you hate the captain?

Pele-NOPE!: becuz of what he did to mr. stark >:(

Harley: What happened?

Pele-NOPE!: Its not my story to tell so all ill say is that the two had a fight in siberia during the whole civil war thing and the asshole destroyed his arc reactor and left him stranded all alone

Harley: WHAT?
:In Siberia?
:He could have died for hypotermia if the heater in his suit stopped working!

Pele-NOPE!: i know
:and it did stop working
:thankfully friday alerted vision before she lost connection and he got there less than an hour later so mr. stark wasnt really hurt
:but if it wasnt for friday and vision rogers would have killed him
:i slept at the tower last night and this morning i woke up because i heard him shout
:he had a nightmare about what rogers did to him
:and it just reminded me of what he did
:fuck i hate captain america

Harley: jesus fuck
:I never liked Captain America but i didn't think he could do such a thing

Pele-NOPE!: i used to admire him
:now i want to strangle him

Harley: yeah it sounds tempting...

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
@ParkourParker this morning: Did you know Harley arrives tomorrow?
Penny at lunch: Did you know Harley arrives tomorrow?
Penny after the day ended: Did you know Harley arrives tomorrow?
Yes, we got it, girl.
198 replies, 23k RTs, 43k likes

>I'm in! @JediNed
she's so excited I'm already preping myself to give this Harley the big brother talk.

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Get in line.

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
ned, mr.stark, pls...

>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
Is that what Penny kept gushing about? She wasn't able to sit in her chair for more than five seconds during AcaDed.

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Yes it was, and not she wasn't able to.

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
ohhhmygod im so exciteed!!11!!! Harleys arriving tonight!!!
306 replies, 35k RTs, 64k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
WE KNOW!!!

>>I'm in! @JediNed
oohhh MJ snapped!

>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Shut it, loser.

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Glad your excited for me, beautiful.

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
sdahusghjt-ĵt

>>>>May Parker @MayParker
I just heard my niece squeal super loudly in her bedroom. I'm blaming you @MechanicOfTennessee.

>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
sorry, Mrs. Parker.

Alessa @honeylike
It's funny how hard @ParkourParker is crushing on @Harley lol. and they havent even met yet!
98 replies, 21k RTs, 31k likes

>Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
yeah like hon, youve got it bad

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
im at stark tower now. both mr.stark and i are waiting for harley to arrive, friday said he would be there in a few mins omg im so excittteedd!!!
315 replies, 94k RTs, 130k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
We know because you can't spell properly. Now get off your phone. Rhodey and I are talking to you.

>Grounded Legend @groundedlegend
god I wish I was there to see what will happen...

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
So... since I have nothing better to do and because I'm a mischievous bitch, I decided I would share what happened when @ParkourParker and @MechanicOfTennessee first met.
341 replies, 85k RTs, 111k likes

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
First, what @NotBrownButPink said about Penny was also true today. She could not stand straight, kept jumping up and down in excitement at seeing Harley. You would think they were childhood friends who hadn't seen each other in years, not two people about to meet for the first time...

>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
You know how in romantic movies (or their comedic parodies), the two main love interests just stare at each other in shock when they first see each other? Like their souls instantly realize they are a match? Well that kinda happen today with Penny and Harley. The two froze in shock when they first laid eyes on one another and Penny let out a noticable gasp.

>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Once they were past that, the two quickly began talking to one another. Penny was constantly blushing, not helped by the fact Harley decided to channel his inner Tony and be very flirty with her. He was addressing her by all sort of names like "beautiful", "honey", "baby-doll" etc. Ironically, Tony looked so uncomfortable it was like he wanted to be anywhere but in the same room as them.

>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
During the afternoon, Tony kept asking FRIDAY what they were doing. When I asked him, he said he wanted to make sure they wouldn't do anything "inproper". Coming from Mr. Playboy himself who got caught with his hand in a girl's skirt by her dad when he was Penny's age, it was very hilarious. Tony didn't like that I laughed at him.

>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
At dinner, Penny and Harley barely talked to the others. They kept sharing smiles and complimenting each other. They were so focused on each other than they didn't even hear Tony, @VirginiaPotts or I half of the time we addressed them. Pepper thought it was cute. Tony looked like he was regretting his decision to introduce them to one another.

>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
It was the same that evening when we watched a movie. The kids sat next to one another on one couch and, at one point, Penny dozed off and leaned on Harley. Tony looked very jealous his daughter wasn't cuddling in him and spent more time looking at them than the movie. He even glared when Harley put his arm around her shoulders after she fell asleep lol

>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Tony only calmed down when he was allowed to carry the sleeping Penny to her bedroom. He told me after Harley went to bed that he would have put his foot down had Harley suggested he bring her to her bed.

>>>>>>>>Grounded Legend @groundedlegend
You sir are Twitter's best friend!

>>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Why thank you!

>>>>>>>>Pan-Pan @proudpan
So @IronMan is being a super protective #IronDad?

>>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Of course. Then again considering what happened in his life its not that surprising. And Tony know from personal experience what boys could do to his emotionally adopted daughter.

>>>>>>>>>>>pixie's lament @pixieslament
"know from personal experience" lmfao. the mans playboy years come to haunt him back lol

>>>>>>>>>>>Jane - BLM @darkangel5566
I hope he won't be protective to the point of ruining whatever relationship they are building and alienating himself from them...

>>>>>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
He won't. May and Pepper already warned him not to do anything stupid. And if there is one thing Tony is scared more than any threat the Avengers could face, its an angry Pepper and May.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
First, stop ruining my rep, honeybear! Second, I'm not scared of them!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
I'm literally building you a reputation!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Oh and, @VirginiaPotts @MayParker

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
wait no!!

Chapter 9: First Date

Summary:

Penny and Harley go on a first date.
Meanwhile, in Tony's mind: [TOTAL PANIK!]

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
15 following 333k followers

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Hey fun fact! did you guys know that someone in the Stark household is terribly afraid of spiders?
131 replies, 70k RTs, 98k likes

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
I woke up early in the morning because *someone* let out a huge shriek of terror. Ran to the living room only to find out everyone had the same idea. We all found that person staring at this tiny ass spider in horror. Anyone want to guess who it was?
401 replies, 87k RTs, 101k likes

>>I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
Was it Penny?

>>#Blessed @blessedwithmyself
@ParkourParker?

>>Iron Man Stan @bored_as_hell
pepper potts?

>>coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
your gf?

>>u ok? @pixiedust4950
Pepper?

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
why does everyone assume it was me or @VirginaPotts who shrieked at a spider like wtf is it cuz were girls or wut?
321 replies, 83k RTs, 114k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
I know right? It's fucking annoying people automatically assume we get scared easily because we are girls...

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
To all of you who said @ParkourParker or @VirginiaPotts, that would be WRONG! they were in fact greatly amused by the situation and laughed.
251 replies, 56k RTs, 78k likes

>coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
Then who was it?

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
For those wondering about @MechanicOfTennessee's latest tweets, the answer is obvious. It's @IronMan.
414 replies, 113k RTs, 140k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
That's not true! That's slander!

>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Explain why you shrieked, then?

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
I simply thought Spider-Woman became a spider!

>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
YEAH LOL! you were just afraid and cant admit it lmfao

>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
don't lie, Tony. We already knew you were a child in a man's body anyway.

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
@VirginiaPotts I'm being slandered by my own family! Help!

>>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
After all this time I thought you would know the difference between slander and libel, Tony. And no, I'm not lying for you. You did wake everyone in the tower with your shrieking and that's a fact.

Tony Stark @IronMan
Twitter, why does everyone I love keep picking on me?
671 replies, 151k RTs, 178k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
becuz its fun?

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Alright that's it! I'm kicking you all out of my tower!

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
like you would do that LOL! you love us too much mr. *stank*

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Oh god Rhodey told you about that story didn't he?

>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Of course. It's an uncle's job to tell his niece embarassing stories about her dad. #IronDad

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Rhodey we're not-!

>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
It's actually my tower since you gave it to me as an engagement present...

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Oh yeah...

Hi Spider-Woman!!! @cutiepie1998
so what happened to the spider? @MechanicOfTennessee @warmachine
541 replies, 76k RTs, 97k likes

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Penny ended-up taking it outside on the balcony after laughing at Tony.

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
tony's face when she asked if she could adopt it was priceless tho

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
hehe

>>>May Parker @MayParker
Somehow I'm not surprised she said that. I wish I saw Stark's face.

>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
I have the picture saved on my phone if you want it.

>>>>>May Parker @MayParker
Of course!

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Pep, no :(

Private messages: Harley

Harley: Hey baby are you ready? I'm waiting downstairs.

Pele-NOPE!: almost!
:ok im coming!
:god i hope mr.stark wont find out too soon

Harley: lets hope we can have some time together before he shows up

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Spend a good afternoon, kids!
541 replies, 103k RTs, 121k likes

>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
what?

>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
@MechanicOfTennessee and @ParkourParker are going on a date. Penny was very red in the face when he asked her out and she barely managed to squeak her answer out. (It's "Yes", of course.)

>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
So that's why Tony barged in a meeting earlier today asking where the kids were? I didn't know what to tell him but now that I know...

>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Uh, did you tell him everything was fine at least? You know how Tony is, he'll assume the worse, freak out and send his armours after them if he think for a moment they are in danger.

>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
I didn't. Oh no...

Tony Stark @IronMan
@ParkourParker @MechanicOfTennessee where are you at???
321 replies, 87k RTs, 102k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
@ParkourParker @MechanicOfTennessee ???

>Tony Stark @IronMan
They arent answered shit this is bad!!1 oh god what happeneddd?

Jay @JeremTH
*(chuckles) I'm in danger!* = Penny and Harley once @IronMan find them.
[Link to Tony's tweet.]
142 replies, 51k RTs, 79k likes

Lily @lilsunshine24
i just saw @ParkourParker and @MechanicOfTennessee enter the dairy queen I work at! they just bought some icecream cones to eat together!!! theyre so clearly in love its beautiful!
255 replies, 44k RTs, 82k likes

Lily @lilsunshine24
HOLY SHIT
[15 seconds long video linked where Iron Man can be seen landing right next to Penny and Harley, who are sitting around a small table right outside the restaurant. Tony Stark immediately gets out, looking frantic, and ask if they are alright. Before the teenagers can answer, he suddenly stops, narrow his eyes and ask what they are doing here alone before asking "Are you on a date? You can't do that!" with a shocked expression. The video end just after Penny replies with a semi-angry tone "I'm fifteen! I can go on dates, dad! Mr. Stark! I mean Mr. Stark! Dammit not again!"]
354 replies, 132k RTs, 178k likes

>May Parker @MayParker
@VirginiaPotts Come get your man before my niece murders him.

>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Dammit Tony.

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
just text next time instead of interupting us @IronMan
41 replies, 78k RTs, 118k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Why not tell me youre going out first so I don't panic?

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
We told @warmachine

>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
You didn't, lol. I saw you getting ready to leave and asked about it. If I hadn't I wouldn't have known either.

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
See??

>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
alright! next time well tell you! happy?

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
That's all I'm asking for. And no I'm not Happy. He's the head of security!

>>>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Tony Stark making dad jokes? What has the world come to?

>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
He always made dad jokes though. It's something he started doing around 2001.

>>>>>>>>>Queen @cupcakequeen98
wait a minute

Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
Does that confirms #IronDad and #PennyStark? There's no way she slipped up twice without it meaning anything! I mean fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!
[Link to @lilsunshine24's video.]
300 replies, 89k RTs, 128k likes

>I love autumn @autumnleavesfalling
True. I won't believe them if they say they aren't related. I mean there's already evidence for it and now this as well? At this point I think the slip ups are because #PennyStark is not meant to call @IronMan her dad in public but accidently did so twice, once here and now IRL

>>Queen @cupcakequeen98
and apparently tony started making dad jokes in 2001. didnt penny say she was 15? that would mean she could be born around that time

>>>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
isnt that a stretch tho? i mean loads of people make dad jokes without having children

>>>>Queen @cupcakequeen98
at this point nothing short of a negative paternity test will convince me otherwise

The Prost News @ProstNews
After the latest #IronDad explosion, people are so convinced nothing short of a paternity test will satisfy them! Could it happen? [Link to article.]
121 replies, 16k RTs, 45k likes

Tony Stark @IronMan
I would like to remind everyone that whoever is found snooping around the private and personal lives of Penny and her family will get sued faster that they can deny it.
341 replies, 99k RTs, 134k likes

>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Not the way I would put it, but yes. That.

Notes:

Sorry for the shorter update posted quite a while after the previous chapter. I've focused most of my fanfiction writing time on one shots for the HMS Harmony MAYhem Challenge but now that its nearly over I should be able to update this small fic more regularly.

Chapter 10: Grounded

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
15 following 397k followers

Mark B. @MarkB_02
Uh... did i misheard or did something explode at #StarkTower?
67 replies, 451 RTs, 3k likes

>Sparkly @rainbowbright55
im not the only one then? something defin exploded

Jaime @JJop
Was doing my shift at #StarkTower when I heard a loud BOOM and then the fire alarm started. What is going on??? #StarkTower
121 replies, 531 RTs, 2367 likes

Hi Spider-Woman!!! @cutiepie1998
omg the firefighters just arrived at #StarkTower
[Picture of six firetrucks parked at the bottom of the tower along with three police cars and four ambulances. Around them are a few dozens emergency personel like firefighters, police officers and paramedics.]
561 replies, 11k RTs, 35k likes

Stark Industries @StarkIndustries
We would like to reassure everyone: all of our employees and guests at #StarkTower are fine! An explosion occured in one of our research labs but the damage and following fire was contained to the lab itself. The fire alarm and the call to the emergency services and evacuation of the tower were only preventive mesures to ensure the safety of everyone.
[Link to a post on Stark Industries' website going in more details about the incident.]
222 replies, 95k RTs, 151k likes

Jay @JeremTH
At least everyone is fine. There's that. But what happened there exactly?
151 replies, 47k RTs, 65k likes

>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
apparently the reason is known but Stark Industries is keeping it confidential...

May Parker @MayParker
I just saw the news! @ParkourParker, are you alright?
376 replies, 63k RTs, 99k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Oh, she's fine alright.

Tony Stark @IronMan
If some of you reading this ever end-up babysitting two science children, don't do the same mistake as I did!
235 replies, 84k RTs, 109k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
i said i was sorry!!!

>>May Parker @MayParker
Penny, what did you do?

>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
why did you assume i did something wtf??

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Said the girl who just apologized for reasons unknown.

>>coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
guys... i think i know what happened lmao! #StarkTower

Tony Stark @IronMan
My advice is this: NEVER let your science children alone in a lab without supervision!
341 replies, 121k RTs, 144k likes

>May Parker @MayParker
What did Penny do?

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
She and Harley thought it would be funny to recreate Falcon's wings but with two small rocket engines added at the back so it could "Fly past the Karman Line!".

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Despite having no experience working on balistics, the two somehow managed to make working engines??

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Of course, since they're just teenagers making their first engine, it didn't last long and eventually exploded, destroying the entire lab and lighting the room on fire!! Thankfully, they weren't inside so at least they aren't hurt.

>>>>>May Parker @MayParker
@ParkourParker Seriously???

>>>>>>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
I SAID SORRY!!

>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Where did you even get the rocket fuel for it anyway? We don't have any in the tower! @MechanicOfTennessee @ParkourParker

>>>>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Down the road.

>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Right...

The Daily Bugle @DailyBugle
BREAKING NEWS: New York's Menace Spider-Woman caught on tape breaking and entering into a SpaceX warehouse before leaving with a blue metal barrel! [Link to article.]
451 replies, 213k RTs, 322k likes

Tony Stark @IronMan
You didn't... Please tell me you didn't ask Spider-Woman to steal rocket fuel for you... @ParkourParker @MechanicOfTennessee
[Link to the Daily Bugle's tweet.]
971 replies, 181k RTs, 289k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
Uhhh...

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Rocket fuel? What even is that? Is it a drink?

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
OH YOU TWO ARE SO GROUNDED!!!

Tony Stark @IronMan
My god I'm so regretting having introduced them to each other!
624 replies, 211k RTs, 309k likes

Arrows Media @ArrowsMedia
BREAKING NEWS: Fire at #StarkTower caused by experiment gone wrong at the hands of Tony Stark's presumed daughter Penny and mentee Harley Keener. [Link to article.]
461 replies, 57k RTs, 87k likes

Betty Brant @StarReporter
Only Penny can accidently light a building on fire and force everyone to evacuate by creating stuff... wow #StarkTower
98 replies, 5k RTs, 10k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Somehow I'm not surprised she's the cause behind it.

I'm in! @JediNed
Can't believe you didn't invite me! :( @ParkourParker
151 replies, 11k RTs, 41k likes

>Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
next time dw

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
THERE WON'T BE A NEXT TIME!

Tony Stark @IronMan
After talking with @MayParker and Harley's mother, we decided both he and Penny would be grounded for what they did. And so is Spider-Woman for helping them with their stupid shit.
451 replies, 98k RTs, 143k likes

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
before i get grounded, @MayParker said i had to say sorry. so, i apologize to everyone working at stark tower and the emergency personnel for causing so much trouble :(
316 replies, 104k RTs, 153k likes

Notes:

A bit short, I know, but that's because what was originally the second half of the chapter, I decided to make its own chapter. Why? Because it's not written as Twitter messages but like a normal fic. And it's all about Penny discovering who her father is. ;)

Chapter 11: INTERLUDE: Her Father

Summary:

Penny finds out who her biological father is.

Notes:

I posted two chapters at once. Go check chapter 10 first. Only read this one if you read it!
Also, this chapter is written at the "regular". It won't happen often, only when there are very important bits happening that simply can't be described or told on the Twitter format. I'll try to keep all of these chapters (which I will call Interludes) short.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Penny Parker lied in bed, bored. Then again, it was her fault. After Mr. Stark found out about what she and Harley had done, they were both grounded in their rooms, only allowed to leave if it was to go to the bathroom or eat something. She hated that. She wanted to spend time with Harley.

As she wondered what she could do, she suddenly remembered the fact she was adopted and that Mr. Stark had promised they could look into it. They already found out more about her birth mother earlier this week, something she was already pleased with.

Jasmine Stewart, Penny's birth mother, worked in the same science lab in California as her adoptive parents had. When they looked into her, they found out she was born in Ohio and was the only daughter of two immigrants: her father was from Scotland and her mother from Italy. Jasmine was unusually bright (though not as much as Mr. Stark) and, with the help of her parents, managed to fast track through school and start University when she was only eighteen, which explained how despite her younger age, she worked in professional labs. Unfortunately, Penny's maternal grandparents ended-up dying months apart, leaving their only daughter alone in the world. Then, only a few months later, she got pregnant with Penny and later died in childbirth.

However, neither Penny nor Mr. Stark knew who her father was yet. Mr. Stark had said F.R.I.D.A.Y. could find out in minutes as long as her biological father had a criminal record as it would allow her to search for matches through fingerprints. However, Penny initially refused his offer. Part of the reason was because she was already overwhelmed with everything she learned about her birth mother. But, another reason was because of Mr. Stark. Penny finally acknowledged to herself that she saw the man as her father. At the time, she hadn't wanted to learn she had a living biological father somewhere else, that she was the daughter of someone else than Mr. Stark. The idea almost felt like a slap in the face.

But now, Penny was tempted to know. After a few days of thinking, she realized that knowing about her biological father's identity wouldn't stop Mr. Stark from being like a dad to her. And, she was bored and wanted something to do.

Penny stood up and walked out of the room. After seeing she wasn't going to the bathroom or kitchen, F.R.I.D.A.Y. reminded her she was meant to stay in her room but Penny ignored her words, instead asking where Mr. Stark was. After getting an answer, she made her way to his lab. When she arrived at the door, she decided to knock instead or barging in in case he was still angry with her.

The door opened. "What are you doing here, Underoos? You're grounded, remember?" Mr. Stark asked, not looking up from his project, which was the Mark 48 Iron Man armour.

"Uh... I was wondering if we could find out who my biological father is."

Mr. Stark turned to look at her, an unimpressed eyebrow raised. "Now?" he asked, making her flush.

"Well yeah. I mean... I have nothing better to do." she muttered. Mr. Stark let out a snort.

"That's the point, Penny. You're not meant to have something to do. You're grounded." he repeated. "The purpose is that you think about what you did wrong."

"I know! But, can we still look, please?" she asked, giving him her puppy-doe eyes. She immediately saw his resolve falter until, quickly enough...

"Alright, fine." he sighed, making her smile. As Penny sat on the seat next to his, Mr. Stark put down the tool that was in his hand on the table. "F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" he asked.

"Already working on it!" the artificial intelligence answered cheerfully.

"Thank you." Penny and Mr. Stark both said together.

There was a silence as F.R.I.D.A.Y. tried to find a match to her DNA. But, eventually, Penny spoke.

"Mr. Stark?" she asked hesitantly.

"What is it, Penny?"

"I just want to tell you that I don't care much who my biological father is, in the end. ... I- You're like a father to me, Mr. Stark, and getting a name and image won't change that." she said, flushing furiously. She avoided looking at his face, not wanting to see rejection painted all over his face. And then, she felt his hand drop softly on her shoulder.

"You're like a daughter to me as well." Mr. Stark admitted with a smile. "Even when you do stupid shit, I still love you like my own." At his words, Penny beamed.

"Thank you, Mr. Stark." she said happily.

"Don't you think it's time to drop the 'Mr. Stark'?" the man asked with a chuckle. "Especially after these confessions of love and what not?"

Penny shrugged. "I don't know what else to call you and 'Tony' feels wrong." It was a lie, she knew what she wanted to call him but, despite his words, she feared he wouldn't like it.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. interrupted their conversation before Mr. Stark could add something. "Boss? I think you should see this." she said hesitantly.

"What is it, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" he asked. "Got a match for us?"

"Yes." she said, again sounding hesitant. Penny felt her heart beat faster as she grew more nervous. Despite not looking for someone to take the role of her father figure from Mr. Stark, it did not mean she wasn't nervous to know who had given half of his genes for her.

"Well, show it to us." Mr. Stark said. There was a moment of silence before the artificial intelligence showed the results in the form of a hologram floating right in front of them. Penny let out a loud gasp as Mr. Stark's jaw dropped.

PENELOPE M. PARKER >< ANTHONY E. STARK

MATCH 97.94%

Mr. Stark was her dad? Mr. Stark was her dad! Not just her father figure, but her actual father! He was her biological father! She was his daughter!

Tears in her eyes, Penny turned to look at Mr. Stark, who did the same. The name she had been wanting to call him for so long escaped her lips before she could stop herself.

"Dad!"

"Penny, baby-girl...!" he said in turn, looking at her with something akin to pride.

Penny could not stop herself. She pounced, hugging Mr. Stark as much as she could without risking injuring him. His arms immediately went around her. "Dad! You're my dad!" she cried in his shoulder.

"And you're my daughter." he said, also hugging her like it was the best thing in the world.

Mr. Stark was her dad. She couldn't be happier!

Notes:

I have no idea if paternity tests can be done through fingerprints. I assume not so let's just put it under the "Fake science" tab.

Chapter 12: Mom and Dad

Summary:

Penny doesn't just gain a dad, but also a mom.

Notes:

Mostly DMs and Group Chats in this one.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Pele-NOPE!
@ParkourParker
Random girl from Queens!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker
15 following 412k followers

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Well, thats a shocker
254 replies, 53k RTs, 98k likes

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
holy shit @MayParker you have to come to the tower right now!!! its important!!
302 replies, 63k RTs, 102k likes

>Hi Spider-Woman!!! @cutiepie1998
whats happening?

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Not your business.

>>>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
not suspicious at all...

Private messages: May Parker

May Parker: Penny, is it urgent?
:I'm in the middle of a shift right now and I won't end for another few hours.

Pele-NOPE!: well its nor urgent
:but its very very important!!!

May Parker: Can you tell me here or should I wait until I'm done and go to the tower?

Pele-NOPE!: i suppose i can tell you here
:but you should sit down first

May Parker: Not reassured, but alright.
:What is going on?

Pele-NOPE!: remember when we found out i was adopted?
:and i wanted to know who my birth father was?

May Parker: Yes.

Pele-NOPE!: well mr.stark suggested we could ask friday to find a match through fingerprints the police have in their possession
:not sure how that work now that i think about it since everyone has different fingerprints
:well anyway, there was a match
:and...
Posted two pictures. [Show the hologram of the DNA match between Penny and Tony.]

May Parker: Stark is your biological father?

Pele-NOPE!: apparently!!

May Parker: Well, I suppose that takes care of your problem on whether or not you should call him "Dad" :P

Pele-NOPE!: true!
:i did it when i found out and he didnt even mind! i was crying like a baby in his shoulder!

May Parker: That's cute.

Pele-NOPE!: anyway, mr. dad wanted to talk to you.
:he want to be my actual dad and not just in his words a "sperm donor"
:he said he wanted to adopt me, in a way
:but at the same time he also said he doesnt want to remove you from my life
:said he wouldnt even if he wanted to cuz of how important you are to me
:and that made me think
:if mr. dad adopt me as his daughter, can
:can you become my adoptive mother?
:youre the woman you raised me and are my mom in everything that matters
:and well i want you to be more than my aunt and call you mom
:mr. dad think its a very good idea and approves very much
:...
:may?

May Parker: Of course I will be!!
:You've always been my kid and I will be happy to be your mother.

Pele-NOPE!: :D

May Parker: I need to go back to work but, trust me, when I come back home this evening, I'll hug you until you can't breathe properly.
:Love you, Penny.

Pele-NOPE!: love you too, mom!!

Group chat: The Stark Family

[@warmachine added @IronMan, @VirginaPotts, @MayParker, @ParkourParker and @MechanicOfTennessee.]
[Colonel James Rhodes renamed himself to Rhodey.]
[Rhodey renamed Tony Stark to Tony.]
[Rhodey renamed Pepper Potts to Pepper.]
[Rhodey renamed May Parker to May.]
[Rhodey renamed Pele-NOPE! to Penny.]

Harley: hey new chat

Rhodey: Well, in lights of the recent news,
:Welcome @Penny to the family!
:And don't hesitate to call me Uncle Rhodey if you want, Penny ;)

Pepper: Yes, welcome, Penny!
:And same as Rhodey.

Penny: thank you!!!

Tony: Thanks for the group conversation, Rhodey. Will make it easier to talk to everyone when we aren't at the same place.
:Also, not that I'm complaining but Harley is here too?
:Shit, does he count as family because he and Penny went behind my back and got married?
:@Penny You aren't pregnant, are you?

Penny: OMG DAD OF COURSE NOT!
:AND IM TOO YOUNG TO BE MARRIED

Tony: Just making sure.

Harley: OML tony

Rhodey: Tony for god sake

May: I have a feeling that now that Stark and Penny are confirmed as father/daughter, we'll get a lot more of the overprotective dad act over there.

Pepper: At least you won't have to listen to him mutter in bed about protecting Penny's virtue.

Penny: omg rly?
:dad wut?

Tony: You're too young to have sex!

Rhodey: Tony, you were fucking at fourteen and Penny is nearly sixteen. I think she's old enough to think for herself.

Tony: That's exactly my concern!
:I don't want her to take after me and do the same mistakes as I did!
:I want her to wait!

May: Can you not talk about my daughter's sex life in a group chat with her and her boyfriend in??

Penny: yeah pls
:actually dont talk about it anywhere
:im dying of embarassement

Tony: Sorry baby-girl

Rhodey: Sorry Penny

Pepper: You two, I swear...

Harley: well, lets change the topic of conversation here
:when do you plan to announce it?

Pepper: Depends on Penny.
:We can continue to pretend you aren't biologically related if that's want you want, honey.

Penny: idk
:i dont want to hide yet another side of me to the world
:i already have enough with spider-woman, thanks

Tony: So you want to reveal it?
:Remember that it will bring a lot of attention on you and May.

Penny: true, but i dont wanna hide it
:im proud to be a stark and i want everyone to know i have the best father ever

Rhodey: Now you made Tony cry, lol.

Tony: I'm so god damn happy I won't even deny it.

Harley: I thought Happy was your head of security?

Tony: listen here you little shit

Pepper: So we announce it to the world? @May, what do you think?

May: As long as Penny is happy, then I'm happy.
:People are already looking into us because of the suspicions anyway
:And we're alone, we don't have to worry about others.

Penny: cool!!
:can I handle it?

Pepper: What do you mean?

Penny: i dont want press conferences and interviews to announce it
:just post it online and thats it

Tony: Baby-girl, there will have to be a press conference to handle rumours no matter how you announce it.

Penny: iknow!
:but i dont want something big

Pepper: Alright, if you want.
:Just wait until the end of the week to announce it so the PR Department can be ready for it.

Penny: alright thanks!

Tony Stark @IronMan
@ParkourParker will post an announcement on her Twitter account this Friday. Stay tuned, it's important.
815 replies, 173k RTs, 202k likes

>coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
I wonder what it could be.

>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
omg i need to know!

>Jay @JeremTH
announcement? that must be important if it have to be announced in advance lol

Group Chat: the losers

penny-woman: theres something i need to tell you
:before it become public

neddyboi: is it about the announcement Tony Stark talked about on his Twitter?

penny-woman: yea
:basically
:hes my dad
:like for real
Posted one picture. [Picture is the same one she sent to May.]

neddyboi: OH MY GOD THATS SO COOOL!!!
:YOURE A STARK!

penny-woman: I KNOW!

miss scary: I'm not surprised.
:Seems pretty obvious in hindsight.

penny-woman: yes i know mj
:but i didnt know that ok??
:and im really happy with the truth!

miss scary: Good for you.
:Now you might want to tell something else to Ned before he dies of over-fanboying.

Pele-NOPE! @ParkourParker
I know people have been asking for days what I was going to post. Well, it's something big! (Big enough to spell properly!) In a few minutes, I will post a picture in a few minutes.
315 replies, 133k RTs, 242k likes

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
Hi, I'm Penny Parker-Stark and I recently discovered I'm @IronMan's biological daughter. :D
[Picture of the holographic DNA match.]
1k replies, 349k RTs, 692k likes

Notes:

Not enough fics have May be upgraded to the role of mother and its a shame!

Chapter 13: Reactions

Summary:

Some reactions to the reveal.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 643k followers

Arrows Media @ArrowsMedia
Penelope Parker-Stark! Twitter was right all along! #PennyStark
[Link to article.]
536 replies, 45k RTs, 75k likes

>uh @okay
twitter was right... isnt that a scary thought

First Penny Parker Stan @parkerstan
its a dream come true!!! #PennyStark
[Link to Penny's last tweet.]
31 replies, 50 RTs, 2015 likes

>Iron Man Stan @bored_as_hell
Yesss! its Amazing!!

The Prost News @ProstNews
#PennyStark! The truth recently revealed:
[Link to article.]
492 replies, 39k RTs, 83k likes

I love autumm @autumnleavesfalling
I fuckin knew it! #PennyStark
[Link to Penny's last tweet.]
98 replies, 25k RTs, 56k likes

McLaren Front News @McLarenFrontNews
With the revelation of Penny Parker's parentage, what will change for Stark Industries and the Avengers? Our analysts answer this question in our latest article! #PennyStark
[Link to article.]
641 replies, 74k RTs, 101k likes

Holly C. @bearscout
Well, how about that? #PennyStark
[Link to Penny's last tweet.]
38 replies, 138 RTs, 5k likes

The Daily Bugle @DailyBugle
There is indeed an heir to the Stark Throne. Watch out, everyone! #PennyStark
[Link to article.]
822 replies, 15k RTs, 34k likes

Hi Spider-Woman!!! @cutiepie1998
lets gooooo! #PennyStark
[Link to Penny's last tweet.]
27 replies, 58 RTs, 3642 likes

Stark Industries Official @StarkIndustries
Penelope Parker, recently discovered daughter of Tony Stark. Our point of view:
[Link to a Stark Industries post.]
465 replies, 153k RTs, 243k likes

Tony Stark @IronMan
Yes, @ParkourStank is, in fact, my daughter. I couldn't be prouder of that fact. Penny is an amazing young woman and I can't wait to be more than her emotionally adopted father. I love you, my daughter!
[Link tp Penny's last tweet.]
1k replies, 358k RTs, 653k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
awwww thanks dad!!

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
I've known for a long time that Tony and Penny were like father and daughter. Thus, I was not surprised when I learned the truth. Big welcomes my fantastic niece to the Stark family from your Uncle Rhodey!
[Link to Penny's last tweet.]
864 replies, 200k RTs, 341k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
thank you uncle rhodey!! :D

Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
A few months ago, I met a fantastic young woman whose's mind was only matched by my fiancé Tony. I'm happy to welcome @ParkourStank in our family, and I hope I will be the step-mother she deserve.
763 replies, 195k RTs, 311k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
thank you aunt pepper! and you already are ;P

May Parker @MayParker
For those wondering, yes, I am happy for @ParkourStank and @IronMan. Penny and Tony saw each other as family for quite a while and I'm happy its now true for both of them. Still, if someone told me that Penny's father was the same man that was plastered all over her bed sheets, I would have a hard time believing them.
298 replies, 87k RTs, 106k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
MAY YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT TELL ABOUT MY IRON MAN BEDSHEETS!!!

>>May Parker @MayParker
It was Ben who said it. Not me. :P

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Penny had Iron Man bedsheets? I've got to see this!

>>>May Parker @MayParker
I have a picture if you want.

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
oh god...

Group chat: The Stark Family

Pepper: You know @Penny, it would have been better if you talked to us first before publicly calling yourself "Parker-Stark". ;)

Penny: you mean i cant use the name stark? :(

Pepper: That's not what I'm saying, honey. You totally can if you want. Just that we should have talked about it first and done the legal paperwork before announcing it to the world.

Penny: oh right
:sorry aunt pepper

Tony: She's not wrong.
:But otherwise I'm totally for it.
:@May What do you think?

May: Well, in for a penny, in for a dollar.

Penny: so i can be Penelope Parker-Stark?

Pepper: Once the paperwork is finalised, then sure!

Penny: thank you!!!!

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
fuck me i just realized im related to Howard Stark
300 replies, 101k RTs, 246k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
My thoughts every time I wake up in the morning.

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
at least theres worse people to be related to. imagine being related to captain america. i think id die

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Oh god me too

>>>coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
like father like daughter lmfao

>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
You two, I swear...

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
You mean to tell me you wouldn't mind being related to Howard? Or Rogers?

>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
That's not what I meant, no.

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
well, pepper will soon be related to howard through marriage anyway, so yeah

>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Oh no

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
some people have been asking me what I think of the recent news and why i havent said anything yet. Well, what am I supposed to say? i'm happy for Penny, that's for sure, but her parentage doesn't change who she is in my eyes. She's still the lovely girl I went out with a week ago.
398 replies, 150k RTs, 333k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
im open to going ou again :¦D

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
you're reading my mind, baby ;)

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
As long as you tell me beforehand so I don't panic. And don't call her "baby", please. It makes her old man uncomfortable.

>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
that's not for you to decide lol. all that matters is whether she likes it or not. and anyway what even is your problem with it? you call her "baby-girl" lmfao

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
It's an entirely different context!!!

SAvril @Bluebird
So who is surprised Penny is genuinely Tony Stark's daughter? Certainly not me.
45 replies, 195 RTs, 6k likes

>Betty Brant @starrepporter
I am! I mean, I know everyone was speculating but I still didn't think they were related! That's crazy!

>>Jasonn @JazIon
im too. hey do you think she would go out with me?

>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Hell no. Not only does she already have her sight on someone else but she wouldn't accept any advances from someone who's only interested because of who her father is.

>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
amen. @JazIon you better watch out!

>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Ned threatening someone. I've seen it all.

>>>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
you're not the only one who can be scary, MJ.

Notes:

Well, I hope this chapter wasn't so bad. I don't like writing random people's reactions and prefer interactions between characters. Oh well, that will be next chapter, which will focus on Harley's last few days in New York and his relationship with Penny :)

Chapter 14: Did you ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?

Summary:

Penny and Harley go to the cinema on a second date and the Stark family watch Batman 89.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 643k followers

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
i just realized... didnt the weekend just last an entire week? that doesnt make sense
298 replies, 64k RTs, 79k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Penny, it's spring break.

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
it is??? how did nobody mention it?

>>>Merc with a mouth @deadpool
because the author forgot harley was only supposed to visit for a weekend when he fast-forwarded to a week later without sending him back home first. so he changed the calendar.

>>>>The Author @LordCroussette
Oh no, you bastard! You won't be in my fic! Get out!

>>>>>Merc with a mouth @deadpool
uhoh

>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
the fuck?

Private messages: Harley

Harley: hey baby
:Do you want to go on another date tonight?

Penny Parker-Stark: sure!!
:where?

Harley: How about the cinema?
:You can choose the movie.

Penny Parker-Stark: okay!
:how about lego batman?
:i always wanted to see a batman movie and i love the lego ones

Harley: then it's a date ;)

Penny Parker-Stark: :D

Group chat: The Stark Family

Penny: dad, harley and i are going out tonight @Tony, @everyone

Tony: Do you need a lift?

Harley: Nah, I'll drive us there.

Tony: Ok
:Have fun then.
:And don't forget to tell me if there is anything wrong, okay?
:And I expect you to come back before nine!

Penny: dad, the movie we're seeing end at ten...

Tony: oh
:then 11pm at the very latest
:got it?

Penny: k

Harley: ok got it

Rhodey: What movie are you going to see?

Harley: LEGO Batman
:Penny want to see it

Penny: saw a trailer online
:looked hilarious

Rhodey: Fair enough.
:Spend a good time, kid.

May: Yes, spend a good evening, Penny!
:And don't arrive later than your father said!

Penny: thank you uncle rhodey!!
:and thank you mum
:and no we wont

thefunnyone @thefunnyone
guys... i think im sitting right next to Penny Stark and Harley Keener at the cinema wtf
91 replies, 13k RTs, 22k likes

>First Penny Stark Stan @parkerstan
really?? where? and what movie?

>>thefunnyone @thefunnyone
a cinema in Queens. And we're about to watch LEGO Batman.

>>>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
I saw that movie with my brother. it was really funny!

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Wow, the movie was better than I expected.
268 replies, 48k RTs, 89k likes

>First Penny Stark Stan @parkerstan
lego batman?

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Yes... how do you know that?

>>>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
[Link to thefunnyone's tweet.]

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
that explains the looks we got. at least they stopped once the movie started and they didnt bother us

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Lucky you.

>>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Bad experience?

>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Something like that... @warmachine could tell you about it.

>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Are you talking about when we went to see Men in Black in the summer of '97? Because yes, as good as the movie is, that night was horrible.

>>>>>>>>>Queen @cupcakequeen98
What happened

>>>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
We sat next to someone who recognized Tony. He was so excited he wouldn't shut up and kept trying to talk to him while the movie played. People complained and we were eventually kicked out even though we only wanted to enjoy the movie in silence.

>>>>>>>>>>>Holly C. @bearscout
yikes

>>>>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
That's why now I always pirate my movies.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Tony for god sake! Don't say something like that online!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
oops

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Guess who's sleeping on the couch tonight lol.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
gg dad gg

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
well, lego batman was great. now i just wanna see another batman movie.
268 replies, 61k RTs, 101k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
We can watch Tim Burton's Batman tomorrow evening with the family if you want. It's one of Pep's favourite movies.

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
wait rly?? @VirginiaPotts

>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
What can I say? I have something for self-sacrificing billionaire superheroes.

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
LOL

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
We're starting Batman 89! im so excited!
333 replies, 69k RTs, 121k likes

>Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
Its a great movie ngl

>>Grounded Legend @groundedlegend
dark knight is better

>>>Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
Debatable

>>>>pixie's lament @pixieslament
how can you not think so? it has heath ledgers joker!!

>>>>>Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
Have you seen Jack Nicholson's??

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
quick tweet mid-movie. its great!!!! no wonder aunt pepper loves it!! were just after batman drove vicky to the batcave and the batmobile is so cool!!
298 replies, 73k RTs, 108k likes

>Grounded Legend @groundedlegend
you should watch the dark knight instead

Tony Stark @IronMan
Ahhh shit...
452 replies, 134k RTs, 168k likes

>Eleonore Elkins @pastelrosesEE
what?

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
maybe watching Batman was a bad idea...
378 replies, 107k RTs, 128k likes

>Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
Why? What happened?

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
For those wondering, Penny ran out in tears during the scene of the murder of Bruce Wayne's parents.
524 replies, 164k RTs, 202k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
I mean, she did witness her uncle being shot in front of her...

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
She told me once that the guy who shot her uncle said "did you ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?" before pulling the trigger. the guy must have been a fan of the movie but Penny didn't know that until tonight when she saw the joker do the exact same thing. :/

>>>uh @okay
jesus no wonder she ran out.

Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
I feel bad for loving the movie now, even if I know there's nothing wrong with it. :(
320 replies, 98k RTs, 186k likes

>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Harley went to find Penny. I think they're on the balcony.

Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
You know what? I think she's going to be just fine.
[Video posted with the tweet. It show Harley and Penny talking while leaning on the railing of a balcony, the night skyline of New York behind them. Penny has her cheeks wet but its obvious she stopped crying some time ago. With a smile, Harley tell her something the camera doesn't catch, making her giggle. Then, she whisper something and the two lean toward one another. They share their first kiss.]
321 replies, 245k RTs, 392k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
I want to be mad he kissed my daughter, but I'm just relieved and glad he made her laugh after something so traumatic. I think Penny will be in good hands.

>>May Parker @MayParker
They will be happy, I can tell. And, I'm happy for them.

Notes:

For those who haven't seen Batman 89, this is the scene I was talking about.

Chapter 15: Pining

Summary:

Penny and Harley say goodbye to one another.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 643k followers

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
you probably guessed it because of my future step-mom's tweet but @MechanicOfTennessee and I are now dating!!
[Picture of Penny and Harley. Harley is grinning at the camera while Penny is giving him a kiss on the cheek.]
390 replies, 156k RTs, 285k likes

>Lily @lilsunshine24
yeeees!! lets go!

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
I'm happy for you.

>I'm in! @JediNed
OMG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! @MechanicOfTennessee you better treat my sister right.

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
I will.

>First Penny Stark Stan @parkerstan
yesssss!!

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Asking you out was the best decision I ever made.
[Link to Penny's tweet.]
390 replies, 156k RTs, 285k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
saying yes was the best decision I ever made :P

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Are you too already being all sweety-sweety with one another?

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
all "sweety-sweety"?? wtf does that even mean??

>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Better than your idea of romance. You're even worse with Pepper.

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Libel!! I say libel! From my own friend!

>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
You two look like seals fighting over a grape.

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
BOOO you already said that years ago! Get new material!!

>>>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Boys.

Group chat: The Stark Family

Harley: @everyone Penny and I are going out again this afternoon

Pepper: Alright. Have fun, kids.

Tony: Again? Wow, you do love going on dates.

Pepper: They just started dating, Tony...

Tony: I know, I know. Just saying.

May: Well there's also the fact they will be separated by states once breaks end tomorrow.
:I'm not surprised they want to spend as much time together as possible.

Penny: oh yeah...
:i forgot about that
: :(

unicornmagic234 @unicornmagic234
Uh, I think Penny Stark and Harley Keener are out on a date again.
[Picture of Penny and Harley sitting together outside of a fast-food place around a plastic table. While Harley's face is not visible, Penny's is and she is laughing.]
103 replies, 26k RTs, 42k likes

>#Blessed @blessedwithmyself
they do be enjoying theyr relationship

>Joelle @happinesssss15
Thats so cute!! look how happy he makes her!

Group chat: Stark Family (ADULTS!)

Tony: Has anyone seen the kids? Can't find them.

Pepper: They're in Penny's bedroom.
:shit no
:I shouldn't have said that.
:...
:@Rhodey He freaked out and ran to check they weren't doing anything improper, hasn't he?

Rhodey: Yeah lol.

Tony: Everything's fine!
:Actually they look kind of cute.
[Picture of Penny and Harley. They are both sitting in bed but asleep. Penny's head is resting on his shoulder and Harley's on her head.]

May: Cute
:I'm saving.

Tony: @May Are you starting a photo album? Not the first time I heard you say that whenever a picture of them pops up.

May: I am.

Tony: Cool. Send it to me once its done?

May: Sure.

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
Harley is leaving back for Tennessee tonight :'(
201 replies, 89k RTs, 134k likes

>KittyKat @purrfectkitty35
oh no! :'(

>Holly C. @bearscout
What are you going to do?

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
idk man... i just dont know...

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Last week was one of the best times in my life. Sad it has to end. I'll miss you all, especially you, @ParkourStank
233 replies, 84k RTs, 152k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
ill miss you too :''(

>Tony Stark @IronMan
You're welcome back anytime you want, not only because I want to see you more but because I have a feeling my daughter will murder me if I ever say otherwise.

May Parker @MayParker
Penny barely said hello when she returned from her dad's before locking herself in her room. It's going to be rough, isn't it?

>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
I think it will be. Yes. :/

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
I feel bad for not insisting Harley stay longer even if I know he has to go back home to attend school and be with his family. Watching him saying goodbye to Penny felt like someone was pulling my heartstrings and I don't like it!

>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Going soft?

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
You're telling me you aren't?

>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
... No, you're right. I am. How do these kids manage to make us feel like that?

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
By being themselves and god does that sound sappy.

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
i miss him :(
198 replies, 78k RTs, 99k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Penny, it's only been a day.

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
its an eternity

>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
Gotta give it to Penny. She want her man.

Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
I swear, watching Penny at school today was the saddest shit i've ever seen. she looked like someone killed her puppy
78 replies, 6k RTs, 11k likes

>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
Sometimes its hard to remember Penny has only been dating him for a short while and only known him for a week. She act like a grieving widow i swear

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
@warmachine said their first meeting looked straight out of a romantic movie. Who knows, maybe they're living through the same sappy shit they do in movies.

>>>I'm in! @JediNed
so shes doing a Padme Amidala and straight up dying from heartbreak?

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Not how I would have worded it, you Star Wars nerd, but sure.

I'm in! @JediNed
@ParkourStank got a new Star Wars lego set! want to build it my place? its an AT-AT!!
98 replies, 9k RTs, 14k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
sry ned, im not really in the mood today :(

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Did... did Penny just say no to playing with Star Wars LEGOs?

>>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
im not even that close to her and even I know she would never say no. How sad is she??

Hi Spider-Woman!!! @cutiepie1998
Has anyone seen Spider-Woman recently? I swear she hasn't appeared since last weekend.
22 replies, 532 RTs, 1032 likes

>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
maybe shes on vacation

>>Hi Spider-Woman!!! @cutiepie1998
Maybe...

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
I miss you <3
145 replies, 53k RTs, 103k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
i miss you too :(

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Where are you???
41 replies, 3k RTs, 6k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
uh home?

>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
Penny, its AcaDec practice rn

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
oh uh sry @MichelleJones, it left my mind

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
That's just pathetic I don't even have it in myself to tease you.

May Parker @MayParker
Penny has been awfully quiet recently. I'm starting to miss my fiery daughter.
135 replies, 54k RTs, 82k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Yeah, she barely said anything when she visited last night. I never minded silence before but now I do.

>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
We have to do something about it.

I'm in! @JediNed
I don't like seeing my sister so sad :(
60 replies, 9k RTs, 18k likes

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
I don't like it either.

Group chat: Stark Family (ADULTS!)

Tony: We have to do something about Penny and Harley. I hate seeing her like that. I thought she would get better after a few days but its been two weeks already.

May: I agree.
:We have to do something.

Pepper: Do you have something in mind, Tony?

Tony: Yes!
:How about we invite Harley to stay here?
:Like full time.
:He could attend Midtown as well.
:Then he and my daughter will be together and they'll all be happy.

Pepper: I'm not against it but what does Rose think about it? Did you ask her?

Tony: We were already talking about moving him to New York so he could attend a school worthy of his intellect before the telecommunications blackout in their corner of Tennessee.
:Unless she changed her mind since, I don't think she would mind.
:I'll ask her just in case.

Private messages: Rose Keener

Tony Stark: Rose?
:I have an idea.

Rose Keener: Did you ask Pepper first?

Tony Stark: Yes, and she approves.
:And it's about Harley.
:I'm going to be honest here.
:My daughter miss him horrendously. So much so I'm starting to worry it's getting to her.
:And since I want her to be happy
:And because I like seeing Harley more
:I'm asking you whether you changed your mind about bringing Harley to New York so he can attend a school that can challenge his intellect and help him learn more about his passions?

Rose Keener: It's probably for the best.
:Harley hasn't been the same since he returned.
:Quiet, reserved.
:It's hard to see.

Tony Stark: I know what you mean.
:At this point, I'm starting to think I should start planning the wedding.

Rose Keener: I know you're joking, but I might have done that had they been older.
:Well anyway, I'm not against sending him to New York.
:I'll miss him, of course, but I know he's old enough to leave the nest and start flying on his own, so to speak.
:And it will make him incredibly happy.

Tony Stark: You and Abigail can move in the Tower if you want. You don't have to be away from each other.

Rose Keener: Thanks for the offer, but we won't leave Tennessee. I have a job I love and Abigail has plenty of friends she won't want to leave behind.

Tony Stark: Fair enough.

Group chat: Stark Family (ADULTS!)

Tony: She's fine with it!

Pepper: Really? That's great!

Tony: Yep!
:Let's keep the surprise for now. I want to see Penny's face when she see him again.

May: That will make her happy.
:By the way, considering how their relationship is evolving, there's something that just crossed my mind.
:@Tony did Harley get The Talk?

Tony: what?!
:Oh god.
:no
:they wouldn't, would they??
:They're too young for that!

Rhodey: Tony, what were you doing at that age?

Tony: shit
:fuck
:@May To answer you're question: I don't know if he got it, no.

Rhodey: *Your

Tony: hush you

Pepper: Then it might be best if you give it to him, Tony. You're the closest thing to a father figure he has.

Tony: Me???
:But he's dating my daughter!

May: Would you prefer not giving it to him and get grandchildren in a year or two?

Tony: Alright fine!
:goddammit

Rhodey: @Tony
:I can give it to him if you want.

Tony: You really would?
:You're a lifesaver, Rhodey!

Rhodey: You're welcome.

Pepper: Well at least that's settled.
:@May What about Penny? Did she get it?

May: Gave her the Part 1 when she turned eleven. I decided to wait until she was older to give the Part 2.

Tony: Part 1? Part 2??

May: Part 1 is about periods and contraceptions.
:Part 2 is more about the sex and love-making itself.

Tony: oh
:Make sense.

Tony Stark @IronMan
Can you pass by the tower after school today? I have a surprise for you, you'll love it.
176 replies, 89k RTs, 105k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
sure ig dad

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Surprise, Penny!
[Video showing Harley waiting in front of the doors of an elevator with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Then, the door open, revealing Penny and Tony, the later one wearing a grin. Penny look at Harley in shock before giving him her biggest beaming smile. She run to him and jump in his arms and immediately kiss him as Harley bring his arms around her waist to steady her.]
176 replies, 89k RTs, 105k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
For those wondering, Harley will now stay at the tower and attend the same school as Penny. It was the right decision.

>>Betty Brant @starreporter
Finally!!

>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Maybe now she'll stop moping about.

>>I'm in! @JediNed
that means I'll finally meet the boy who won my sister's heart.

>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Yes, Ned. You'll finally get to play the overprotective brother. Because god know Penny need more overprotective males in her life... I'm being sarcastic, btw.

>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
i knew that :(

Notes:

This chapter is sappy as shit, I know. But whatever, I hope you weren't expecting some realistic romance here. Reminder it's a twitter fic lmao
Also, I was listening to the track "Home" from the soundtrack of the movie First Man and I thought it felt quite in the mood of this chapter when Penny is being super sad :(

Chapter 16: Robotic Club

Summary:

Harley's First Days at school and his experience with the Robotic Club. Oh and Penny messes with her dad a bit.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 743k followers

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Catching up on what we missed. @ParkourStank
[Two selfie of Penny and Harley, the later holding the camera. The first show the two teenagers beaming at the camera and looking very much happy. The second show them in the middle of a deep kiss. In the background are trees in front of a skyline, hinting they are in Central Park.]
351 replies, 101k RTs, 152k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
<3

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
<3

>Eleonore Elkins @pastelrosesEE
so cute!! I ship!!

>I love autumm @autumnleavesfalling
Damn I wish I had a boyfriend who looked at me the same way Harley look at Penny!

>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
yesss so happy for you two!!

>Tony Stark @IronMan
I could have lived without seeing the second picture. Urh, I'm going to be sick...

>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Stop being a spoilsport, Tony.

>>May Parker @MayParker
I think they look cute. I'm happy for them.

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
thanks mom! :D

>>>>May Parker @MayParker
Speaking of, it's high time I meet my daughter's boyfriend, no? Bring @MechanicOfTennessee next time you come home ;)

>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
you've got it, Mrs. Parker.

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
holy shit harley is coming to my school!!!
243 replies, 78k RTs, 132k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Of course. What did you expect after the pining show you gave us these last few weeks?

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
thank you thank you thank you!!! i love u so much dad!!!

>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
No need to be next to him to know he's grinning like an idiot at your tweet lol

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
what why? why did I say?

>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Oh never change, honey.

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
glad we get to spend even more time together baby

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
the fun we will have!!! midtown better be ready!

>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
Omineous.

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
nah everythings will be fine, Betty! i swear!!

>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Press X to doubt.

>>>>>>Jasonn @JazIon
X

>>>>>>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
X

>>>>>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
X

>>>>>>SAvril @BlueBird
X

>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
guys pls

>I'm in! @JediNed
so I'll finally get to meet your boyfriend?

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
no big brother talk!

>>>I'm in! @JediNed
:(

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
You've broken his heart.

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
So, we finally got to meet this mysterious Harley Keener at school since he transfered to Midtown to be with Penny.
111 replies, 16k RTs, 35k likes

>Eleonore Elkins @pastelrosesEE
how is he?

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Unspecial.

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
ouch

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
hes perfect the way he is

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
<3

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Sappy dorks.

Betty Brant @starreporter
Damn Harley is cool. If only he wasn't already taken!
87 replies, 11k RTs, 34k likes

>Jasonn @JazIon
nice guy. have to admit

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Sorry, only interested in one girl. Could always make more friends, though. ;)

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
<3

>>Betty Brant @starreporter
Sure!

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Sending Keener to Midtown was a mistake. @IronMan
124 replies, 21k RTs, 41k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Why? Midtown is the perfect school for him and he get to be with Penny every day!

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Exactly. You have no idea how annoying it is to hear your daughter constantly giggle because Keener keep whispering to her. I've never seen Penny so distracted during classes.

>>>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
true. i was working on my english homework in chemistry and i couldn't concentrate cuz they kept whispering and giggling.

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
fake news!

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Kid... you're going to school to learn. Stop making dopey eyes to one another and learn!

>>>>>#Blessed @blessedwithmyself
such dad speak lmao

>>>>>May Parker @MayParker
He's right, Penny.

>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
urh fine!

>>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
Why were you doing your English homework in Chemistry?

>>>>>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
didnt do it in time lol

>>>>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
Fair enough.

>>>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
At least you didn't do it in AcaDec like last time.

>>>>>>>>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
aye aye captain!

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
joined the Robotic Club in search of a intellectual challenge. left the Robotic Club in search of a intellectual challenge and this fucking robot who keep escaping my grasp!
233 replies, 64k RTs, 121k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
dont call it that! its a cute robot who deserve all the love we can give him!

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
What's his name?

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
S7VPID for 'stupid', though Penny call him "Seven-Vee-Pea" (7VP)

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
its a much better name!!

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Bring him to the lab. I'm sure DUM-E could do with a new friend.

Tony Stark @IronMan
S7VPID and DUM-E seem to like one another.
[Small video clip of DUM-E and S7VPID, who are happily chirping to one another with bot noises]
233 replies, 64k RTs, 121k likes

>KittyKat @purrfectkitty35
awww theyre so cute!

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
I KNOW! :D i already love 7VP like my own!
[Picture of Penny hugging S7VPID like a child would hug a plushie. She has a smile on her face.]

>>>May Parker @MayParker
A fine addition to my collection. #Screenshoted

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
mom... did you just quote a star wars meme?

>>>>>May Parker @MayParker
You've only got yourself to blame for making me watch the movies a dozen times with you.

>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
LMAO

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
i made it tho

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
so? if you got me pregnant it would still be your child

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
NO, NO, NO, no pregnany talk while you're teenagers! Actually, no pregnancy talk EVER!

>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
but what if I was already...?

Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Did someone just shriek in the penthouse? I swear I just heard screeching.
233 replies, 64k RTs, 121k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
LMFAO oops

>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
What did you do, Penny?

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
im not, but imagine his face!
[Link to her earlier reply]

>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Lol

>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Don't try to give your father a heart attack, honey. I need him for the wedding.

>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
sry mrs.stepmom :(

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Ok, that's cute though.
[Short video filmed in the Robotic Club. Harley is seen finishing the construction of a six-legged robot. He drop it on the ground, activate it and point at Penny, who is standing on the other side of the class talking with Ned. The robot zoom toward Penny and gently knock on her leg, grabbing her attention. When she look down, a compartment in the robot open and small mechanical arm take out small flowers and present them to her. Blushing, Penny take the flowers before looking up to Harley, who winks at her.]
233 replies, 64k RTs, 121k likes

>I'm in! @JediNed
wait, since when are you in Robotics, MJ?

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Since never, lol.

>>>I'm in! @JediNed
Then why... actually nvm. I dont wanna know.

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
thanks for the flowers @MechanicOfTennessee :D
[Link to MJ's tweet.]
233 replies, 74k RTs, 136k likes

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
anytime, baby ;)

>I love autumm @autumnleavesfalling
I repeat it: I wish I had a boyfriend who did the same for me as Harley did for Penny. She's a lucky girl!

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
im more than aware trust me ;P

Notes:

Been a while, I know. Sorry about that. I just didn't know what else to write since I already wrote the majority of my ideas. Also, I don't find this chapter as good as the others personally (though that might just be due to the fact I need to get used to writing in the twitter format again), which gave me a mental block. It's not bad or anything - just not as interesting (in my personal opinion). Hopefully, the next ones will be better.

Chapter 17: Freaking Him Out

Summary:

Penny and Harley mess with Tony even further.

Notes:

im back!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 743k followers

Holly C. @bearscout
There is something I am wondering. Did @ParkourStank ever test her father's Iron Man suits?
101 replies, 5k RTs, 14k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
ohhhhhh thats such a good idea! i need to ask dad

>>I'm in! @JediNed
ohhhh. i have to see that!

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
The answer is no.

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
but whyyyyy??

>>>>May Parker @MayParker
It's too dangerous!

>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
mom, pls

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
It wouldn't be comfortable for you.

>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
right... try again

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Just no, Penny.

>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
dad... pls... :'(

>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Not gonna work, kid. I was serious when I said it wouldn't be comfortable for you. You're too young.

>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
im fifteen, not ten!

>>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
And you aren't fully grown. You'd have to support yourself by the armpits because your feet wouldn't reach the bottom of the boots.

>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
but... :'( @IronMan

>>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
:'( :'( @IronMan

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
:'( :'( :'( @IronMan

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Stop it, kid.

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Am I tall enough? @IronMan
[Link to Holly C.'s tweet.]
222 replies, 24k RTs, 45k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
*gasp* betrayal!!

>>KittyKat @purrfectkitty35
but nahhh, he can't betray his gf like that!

>>>HHH @hubhunhut
You say that like he stabbed her in the back lol

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
You might be. And, before you ask, the answer is still no. It wouldn't be fair if you got to try it out and Penny didn't.

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
Fair enough

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
:'( @IronMan
301 replies, 67k RTs, 101k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
No.

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
:'( :'( @IronMan
301 replies, 67k RTs, 101k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
I said no.

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
:'( :'( :'( @IronMan
301 replies, 67k RTs, 101k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Penny.

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
i... i cant b-breathe. i f-feel like m-my heart is b-being p-pulled out of my c-chest @IronMan
301 replies, 67k RTs, 101k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
ALRIGHT FINE! When you're old enough, I'll let you take the suit out for a spin.

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
YEEEEES!!!!!

>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
This was so manipulative, holy shit.

>>>Iron Man Stan @bored_as_hell
Does Iron Man really fold that quickly?

>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
We're talking about Penny here. Of course he does. He can't say no to her.

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
That is so not true! I'm perfectly capable of holding my own with Penny!

>>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Tony, yesterday Penny asked for waffles for breakfast but you told her no because we didn't have a waffle maker. All it took was a little, sad "Oh." from Penny for you to ask FRIDAY to buy three differents brands of waffle makers.

>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
... Okay, maybe there is some truth to what Rhodey said.

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
hey, do you guys think that if Captain America ever get pardonned, i can get him to try call of duty: world at war coop with me?
265 replies, 88k RTs, 123k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
if you do that, im divorcing you

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
WHAT DO YOU MEAN DIVORECEE???

>>>dude545 @dude545
lmfao

>>I'm in! @JediNed
If you do, can I watch?

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
if you can keep Penny from killing me, then sure.

>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
Easy peasy. penny can't even hurt a fly.

>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
thats slander! or libel! or whatever

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
actually i changed my mind. if you play call of duty with captain idiot, then invite me too @MechanicOfTennessee.
452 replies, 106k RTs, 256k likes

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
What changed your mind?

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
i just thought itd be a rly nice for him to see the good old days of the war

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
wait... do you want me to give him PTSD flashbacks?!

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
...

>>>>>May Parker @MayParker
PENNY!

>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
what? i know its bad to make people remember traumatic events, but its captain dipshit and he deserve it #karma

>>>>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
You know, for a brief moment, I forgot Penny hate Steve Rogers.

Private messages: Boyfriend <3

Penny: i have an idea!!!

Harley: what is it babe?

Penny: dads reaction to my "im divorcing you" response to your tweet gave me an idea
:what if i wrote tweets purposefully to freak him out?

Harley: lmao that would be so funny.
:i want to join in on the fun!
:what tweet ideas do you have?

Penny: a few
:ill have to time them out so dad doesnt figure out too quickly
:i have a good one i want to keep for last
:but im looking for another few

Harley: good thing I have a few ideas of my own.

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
shit i just had a car crash...
578 replies, 184k RTs, 286k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
WHAT?! Wait? Where are you? Are you hurt?

>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
Oh my lord! are you alright?

>Grounded Legend @groundedlegend
wtf

>Jane - BLM @darkangel5566
omg are you ok??

>Betty Brant @starreporter
Are you up for an interview?

>May Parker @MayParker
Penny?

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
...a crash between my old hotwheels!
[Picture of two small Hot-Wheels cars on the floor, with both laying on their roofs.]
439 replies, 234k RTs, 310k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Goddammit, Penny! Do you have any idea how much you scared us?

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
sry dad i didnt mean to scare you (look at the camera like its the office)

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
What?

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
what?

>I'm in! @JediNed
what was that all about?

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
check DMs

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Knew it.

>>I'm in! @JediNed
no you didn't. I just saw you shriek.

>>>SAvril @BlueBird
MJ shrieked? no wayy!!

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
I did not shriek! And you, @JediNed, you were in tears!

>>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
lieeees

>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
sry guys :(

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
i'm getting arrested by the cops!
243 replies, 176k RTs, 243k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
WHAT?! What's going on? Why are you getting arrested?

>pixie's lament @pixieslament
noooo! not the boyfriend!

>Jaime @JJop
But why would someone arrest you? You're always nice to everyone!

>Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
bruh what happened?

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
I'm starting to guess what is going on.

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
no you dont. now hush

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
here. I managed to get a sneak pic of the officer in question arresting me.
[Picture of Penny dressed as a cop with sunglasses seemingly putting manacles on Harley's free wrist. They are both standing in his bedroom at Stark Tower.]
341 replies, 286k RTs, 313k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Are you two roleplaying?! Ew, I didn't want to know about your kinks. wtff?

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
lmaoo

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Goddammit.

>>May Parker @MayParker
Where did you get the manacles from, @ParkourStank?

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
they were in Ben's old stuff

>>>>May Parker @MayParker
...those were our, how should I put it, "special" manacles

>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
special... EW WTF I DIDNT WANT TO KNOW THAT

>>>>>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
Like daughter like father lmao

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
uhhh i just found out something shocking.
478 replies, 432k RTs, 871k likes

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
im pregnant. im going to be a mummy.
3k replies, 910k RTs, 1201k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
WEHATT HBNDJHDSHDASDSA????

>May Parker @MayParker
WHAT?!

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
What?

>Betty Brant @starreporter
What??

>thefunnyone @thefunnyone
wtf?

>Queen @cupcakequeen98
HUH?

>Lily @lilsunshine24
whaaaat???

>Holly C. @bearscout
WTF

>Alessa @honeylike
WHAT

>u ok? @pixiedust4850
[Wat meme picture]

>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
no friggin way

>Jay @JeremTH
wot?!

>Mark B. @MarkB_02
you kidding?

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
@ParkourStank WHY DIDNT YOU WARN ME YOU WERE GOING TO POST IT NOW? NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS!
[30 seconds video recorded from Harley's closet at Stark Tower. Harley is heard breathing fast like he's afraid. Through the slits of the closet doors is seen a mad Tony Stark prowling around the bedroom, whispering creepily "I know you're here somewhere, Keener."]
2k replies, 752k RTs, 1002k likes

>coolbeans25 @coolbeans25
we should show that to supervillains next time someone try to destroy the world. theyll shit their pants.

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
OH SHIT. let me call dad!

Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Wait, wait, WAIT! Are you two purposefully writing lies on Twitter to freak Tony out? @ParkourStank @MechanicOfTennessee
1k replies, 659k RTs, 942k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
damn how did you figure it out?

>>Look at my cat! @kittenlover
Wait... the whole pregnancy thing was a joke to mess with Tony Stark??

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
yeah

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
yeah.

Tony Stark @IronMan
Wait... that was just a joke?
973 replies, 612k RTs, 891k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
yeah. sorry dad

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
your reactions were funny ngl

Tony Stark @IronMan
Yeah... you're grounded.
1k replies, 742k RTs, 963k likes

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
which one?

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Both of you.

Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
What is Call of Duty?
0 replies, 0 RTs, 0 likes

Notes:

I'll slowly bring in the Avengers moving forward.

Chapter 18: Penny's Q&A

Summary:

Penny does a Question & Answers.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 747k followers

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
okay, since people have been filling my notifications with questions since my accound blew up i decided to make a q&a today to clear things up! tweet me with #pennystarkquestion and ill answer it!!!
2k replies, 519k RTs, 712k likes

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
"accound"

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
"accound"

>>>I'm in! @JediNed
"accound"

>>>>Glass-Man! @charlesM_01
"accound"

>>>>>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
"accound"

>>>>>>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
"accound"

>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
@IronMan daaaaaaad im being bullied!!!

>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
"accound"

>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
DAD!

sea-nuh @sean99
i'll start! when did you first meet your dad? #pennystarkquestion
25 replies, 278 RTs, 591 likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
about a year ago, give or take. not what you expect a teenager to answer, but its the truthh!

HHH @hubhunhut
When did you first meet your best friends? #pennystarkquestion
43 replies, 124 RTs, 423 likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
i met @JediNed when we were five and weve been inseparable since! @MichelleJones, i at the beginning of the school year when she transferred to our school.

>>I'm in! @JediNed
its crazy that we haven't even known her for a full year yet! it feels like she was always there with us.

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
I KNOW RIGHT?!

jacksparrowfan @blackpearl01
do you like pirates of the caribbean? #pennystarkquestion
5 replies, 89 RTs, 121 likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
of course! jack sparrow is also my favourite character in the movies! i used to have a big crush on will turner! (still do tbh)

Holly C. @bearscout
Do you have any passion projects? #pennystarkquestion
43 replies, 899 RTs, 1k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
yess! i used to love drawing things as a kid. i mean, i still draw today, but rarely. now, my passions projects are mostly engineering things with dad in his workshop.

>>I'm in! @JediNed
that's true. she used to draw Iron Man all the time.

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
ned!

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Aww, kid, that's cute. @ParkourStank

Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
I have one such question: where the hell is my purple hoodie? #pennystarkquestion
330 replies, 219k RTs, 313k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
im wearing it

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
why?

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
because im your girlfriend and i wanted to! deal with it

>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
bruh

First Penny Stark Stan @parkerstan
will you let me kiss your shoes? #pennystarkquestion
61 replies, 4 RTs, 16 likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
noo?? wtf

MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Are you coming at the Pride March with me next month? #pennystarkquestion
451 replies, 40k RTs, 91k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
yeah of course!

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
I forgot this was a thing! can i come too?

>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
You forgot Pride March was a thing?

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
In my defense, i grew up in the rural south. Pride parades don't really exist there. But I want to go to one!

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Alright then, you can come. The more the merrier.

>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
yayy!

uh @okay
do you have a minecraft server? #pennystarkquestion
213 replies, 3k RTs, 5k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
no, but thats such a good idea! @JediNed want to help me setup one?

>>I'm in! @JediNed
yess

Jellybean @jellybean456789
favourite lego set? #pennystarkquestion
89 replies, 238 RTs, 324 likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
of all the sets? the big imperial star destroyer (and the saturn 5 one). of the ones i did build, the death star one

>>FoxTrotter @foxtrotter42
Why didnt you build the ISD?

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
have you seen how expensive that is???

Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
Did you ever go anywhere outside of NYC? #pennystarkquestion
45 replies, 111 RTs, 234 likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
washington for a school competition. otherwise no, at least not that i remember.

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
This is honestly a travesty, kid. Know what? Book your summer you and your best friends (@JediNed @MichelleJones). I'm taking you and the whole family to Disneyland.

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
OMG DAD RLY? I LOVE U SO MUCHH!!!

>>>>May Parker @MayParker
I'm happy for you, Penny. And I'm sorry Ben and I were never able to take you there. I know you always dreamed of it.

>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
dont blame yourself mom. its not your fault is stupid expensive!

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
True!

Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
Why do you hate me so much? #pennystarkquestion
1k replies, 521k RTs, 879k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
well, "captain", because rogers betrayed my dad and hurt him! btw, putting "official" in your username doesnt actually make you him

>>Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
I am very sorry for hurting your father, Penny. Really, I am. I really do want to make amends with Tony. As for the "Official" thing, that is because I am him.

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
yeah right

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Huh, Penny... You know that really is him, right? I would recognize that username, I helped him create the account a few years ago. It's just the first time he's using it.

>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
...wait WHAT?!!

>>>>>I love autumm @autumnleavesfalling
CAPTAIN AMERICA IS ON TWITTER??!

>>>>>Lily @lilsunshine24
omg

>>>>>thefunnyone @thefunnyone
holy shit this is big

BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed
Captain America's first public appearance since the signing of the Sokovia Accords was on Twitter, of all places!
[Link to an article]
2k replies, 432k RTs, 731k likes

Notes:

Next chapter will feature a long overdue conversation between Tony and Steve.
Also, just a reminder that this is not a bashing fic. This fic is Team Tony since it concentrate on the Starks and they obviously have a biased POV on the situation. But, if you're here expecting to see some Team Cap bashing, then expect to be disappointed! Everyone will make up relatively quickly and be back to being friends.

Chapter 19: A Long Overdue Discussion

Summary:

Tony and Steve talk.

Notes:

Well, this chapter is entirely made of private messages between Tony and Steve. It is more serious that the previous chapters as there is less humour, but it is not very angsty.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 777k followers

Private messages: Captain Steve Rogers

Tony Stark: Rogers.

Captain Steve Rogers: Tony.

Tony Stark: I'm impressed you had the balls to post something publicly.
:You do know that your tweet to my daughter brought Ross onto me?
:He's accusing me of helping you hide from the law.
:And since he believe I know exactly where you are, he gave my 48 hours to catch you.
:When I do not, in fact, know your location.

Captain Steve Rogers: Shit, Tony, I didn't know he would react like that.
:I'm sorry.

Tony Stark: I want to blame you because it'd be so easy to do so, but the truth is that Ross was really just looking for an excuse to bring me to coals. He was going to pull something out of his own ass soon enough anyway.
:Thankfully, he's not the only one who was looking for an excuse to strike.
:FRIDAY and I have been building a case on him. We have certified documentation and other evidence for hundred of crimes he committed. Most of them are thanks to Bruce, who gave me enough information from his time working with Ross to start somewhere.
:In fact, FRIDAY is just now sending all this to the relevent authorities. I'm really curious to see the fallout.

Captain Steve Rogers: Oh, that is very relieving.
:I was really afraid for a moment that I brought trouble to you and your family.
:Especially after you discovered your daughter.
:She really seem like a good kid, by the way.
:A bit like you too, in appearance and in spirits.

Tony Stark: Thanks.
:Anyway
:Was there a reason you came to Twitter out of the sudden?

Captain Steve Rogers: Natasha has been following you and Penny on Twitter for some time.
:She gave us some updates from time to time about what was going on in your life.

Tony Stark: Nat is following us on Twitter?

Captain Steve Rogers: Yes.
:She even interacted with you a few times. At least that's what she told me.

Tony Stark: What's her account?

Captain Steve Rogers: @lovelyrose I think.

Tony Stark: You've got to be joking!
:Why did she call herself "Miss Rose Potts"??
:Is she trying to pass for a relative of Pepper?

Captain Steve Rogers: I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

Tony Stark: Oh wow, she used her account to publicly speculate about mine and Penny's relationship.
:Colour me surprised.
:Anyway.
:Tom come back to an earlier message...
:who is "us"?
:Is your gang still united?

Captain Steve Rogers: Just me, Nat, Sam and Wanda.
:Clint and Scott went back home and are on house arrest.

Tony Stark: And where is the Manchurian Candidate?

Captain Steve Rogers: Somewhere.

Tony Stark: Wow, I can feel my eyes roll.
:I'm not going to go after him, you know?

Captain Steve Rogers: But you did in the Siberian bunker.

Tony Stark: Oh yes, I wonder why?
:It's not like I didn't have time to process the fact my parents were murdered, or that the person I just watched killing them was standing right next to me.
:oh wait
:That's exactly what happened!
:To stop with the sarcasm, once I had time to process what I learned, I did realize that Barnes was only a brainwashed, unwilling weapon, not the murderer.
:But I didn't have that time in the bunker.
:And to find out you knew this whole time and kept it from me?

Captain Steve Rogers: I'm sorry, Tony.
:I'll repeat it my whole life if I have to, but I'm sorry, Tony.
:I have no good excuse for keeping the truth from you.
:All I can say is that I was scared.
:Scared you wouldn't react well.
:Scared it would ruin our relationship.
:Scared it would divide our team.
:In hindsight, I realise keeping this secret is what led to my fears being realised.
:I shouldn't have kept it from you in the first place.
:And I'm sorry for doing so.

Tony Stark:...
:well, as my mother used to say: an apology goes a long way in repairing a relationship.
:Mind you, she said that to both Howard and I, but we were both too stubborn to listen to her.
:At least someone here follow my mother's teachings.
:In case you are wondering, yes, I accept your apology.

Captain Steve Rogers: Really?

Tony Stark: god I can hear the hope in your voice.
:Yes, really.
:And, if I'm being honest, I probably wouldn't have accepted your apology (at least not now) if it wasn't for Penny.
:She made me soft... somehow.

Captain Steve Rogers: She is good for you.

Tony Stark: Are you saying I was too hard?

Captain Steve Rogers: I'm not going to comment on that.
:I have a feeling you're setting me up for a joke.

Tony Stark: damn
:How did you figure it out?

Captain Steve Rogers: Because I know you.

Tony Stark: So now I'm predictable?

Captain Steve Rogers: Yes.
:And, I have a feeling Penny would agree with me.

Tony Stark: Double damn.
:Fine. You win.

Captain Steve Rogers: :)

Tony Stark: Triple damn. The old man can do emoticons!

Captain Steve Rogers: Tony, don't be an ass.

Tony Stark: Speaking of asses...

Captain Steve Rogers: oh no

Tony Stark: Don't worry about it. I'm not being literal.
:The ass in question is Ross.
:Something I discovered after I returned from Siberia.
:Did you know the versions of the Accords he brought to the compound were fake?

Captain Steve Rogers: What?!
:What do you mean?

Tony Stark: Well, I heard about the Accords a few days before Ross showed up.
:I showed them to Rhodey and we both decided we were going to sign.
:I decided to show the Accords to the rest of the Avengers but, before I could, Ross arrived and did it in my stead.
:I couldn't understand why you all (except Nat) refused to sign. After all, the Accords were quite resonnable.
:People in the police are held accountable when they fuck up (at least when they aren't corrupt).
:People in the military are held accountable when they fuck up.
:After the dissolution of SHIELD, we the Avengers were not held accountable to our fuck ups. The Accords were made to rectify that.
:So, despite being presented to us by a complete ass, I expected everyone to sign. So I was shocked when nobody else apart from Nat signed them.
:All the while in Germany and Siberia, I kept wondering why you and your gang were so against them. It wasn't until I came back from Siberia that I found out.
:I took a look at the copies of the documents that Ross brought. And, they weren't at all the same Accords that Rhodey and I read and signed.
:It was full of human rights violation. You could be held in prison indefinitively without trial. You could be experimented upon. Plenty of horrific things that indicated the writers of the documents believed people with abilities to be sub-human and undeserving of basic human rights.

Captain Steve Rogers: Wait.
:Do you mean the copies Ross brought to us were fake?

Tony Stark: That's exactly what I'm saying.
:I did check on the Internet and with contacts to make sure Rhodey, Nat and I weren't tricked into signing the Accords by reading something much more reasonable.
:And no, the Accords we signed are the real ones. Whatever Ross showed you, it wasn't what was ratified at the United Nations.

Captain Steve Rogers: But why would he do that?

Tony Stark: No idea.
:That's something I really want to find out.
:Hopefully, we will discover why at his trial once he get arrested.
:As for my personal theory, it is possible that, like Zemo, Ross was trying to divide us.
:Or, Ross wanted us to go against the Accords. It would destroy our credibility and Ross would be given the power to arrest us all.
:Then, he would be free to do to us what he attempted to do with Bruce.
:Experimentations to create super soldiers. Stuff like that.
:But that's just a theory.
:A GAME THEORY!
:...
:goddammit, Penny corrupted me.

Captain Steve Rogers: A game theory?

Tony Stark: Ignore that.
:In fact, pretend I never said that and wipe it off your brain.

Captain Steve Rogers: Okay...

Tony Stark: Anyway, I'm going to send you the real Sokovia Accords. Feel free to read them and sign them - or don't.
:Though signing them will go a long way to earn you a pardon, especially once it comes out publicly that Ross gave you an altered and horrible version of the Accords.
:As for me,
:I'm going to watch the fallout of Ross's arrest.
:TTFN!

Notes:

I hope you liked this chapter. I tried to paint them both in a good light, showing them both as having done the right thing according to the information they had and that they only clashed because Ross was manipulating them. I do hope I didn't anger some Team Steve or Team Tony fanatics x)

Chapter 20: Miss Rose Potts

Summary:

It's time for Tony and Nat to clear the air between them, despite Penny's wishes to the contrary.

Notes:

heeey, an update! Finally!

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 787k followers

Tony Stark @IronMan
So, I'm sure many will be happy to hear it, but me and @CaptainAmericaOfficial talked. There wasn't even any yelling or anything!
301 replies, 523k RTs, 614k likes

>Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
Though the word "yelling" implies we talked on the phone, we actually talked with written messages.

>>Look at my cat! @kittenlover
wow thats so coool

>>Joelle @happinesssss15
Cap and Iron Man are friends again! I could swwoon!

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
[Middle-finger Emoji]

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Penny, please...

>>>Iron Man Stan @bored_as_hell
im with Penny on this one. fuck Captain america

>>>>First Penny Stark Stan @parkerstan
Yeah! fuck cap!

>>>>>Tony Stan @stanofstark
fuck cap!

>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Alright calm down, stan army. Stop encouraging my daughter.

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
*Steve and I

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Shut it Platypus.

>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Wow... like a grown-up!

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Yes, Pepper. I'm mature and responsible now. That's terrible!

>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
You haven't been the same since Penny entered your life. It's great! I can finally go to sleep at night without fearing you'll get into stupid shit without me around.

>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Amen.

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Hey! I mean, fair, but still hey! I wasn't that bad!

>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
I have decades of stories, Tony.

>>>>>>>Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
ohhh share?

>>>>>>>jacksparrowfan @blackpearl01
I wanna know!

>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Don't you dare share them @warmachine.

>>>>>>>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Maybe another day, then... :)

Tony Stark @IronMan
By the way, I learned something very interesting today. Apparently, a certain little spider has been prowling around Twitter hidden behind the mask of a Pepper "fan account". And no, I'm not speaking about Spider-Woman.
1k replies, 682k RTs, 833k likes

>uh @okay
wait, natasha romanoff is on Twitter too?

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Yes she is! Something you want to share with the class, @lovelyrose?

>>>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
What?? I'm not Black Widow! What makes you think that?

>>>>Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
Sorry Nat... but I kind of told Tony.

>>>>>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
...dammit Steve.

>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
WHAT?! youre her? please tell me i didnt interact with you before!

>>>>>>>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
Not as far as I am aware.

>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
thank the gods

>>>>>>Look at my cat! @kittenlover
Oh wow thats so cool!

>>>>>>>Iron Man Stan @bored_as_hell
no it isn't! screw her!

>>>>>>>>Look at my cat! @kittenlover
No, screw you! you may be a Tony stan, but I'm a Black Widow stan! Shes the best Avenger!

>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
my dad is the best avenger, and I dare anyone to say otherwise.

>>>>>>>>>>Starks are monsters @sokoviangirl98
he invented ultron.

>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
fuck you you unknowledgable bitch you don't have all the facts

>>>>>>>>>>>>May Parker @MayParker
PENELOPE PARKER-STARK! Stop using that kind of language now!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
shit

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
i meant bad! not shit. thats a bad word.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm in! @JediNed
well, Penny's is dead by cause of too much swearing. Let's organize a funeral!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
thanks ned

@CaptainAmericaOfficial followed @IronMan and @lovelyrose
@IronMan followed @lovelyrose and @CaptainAmericaOfficial
@lovelyrose followed @IronMan and @CaptainAmericaOfficial
@CaptainAmericaOfficial followed @ParkourStank
@lovelyrose followed @ParkourStank

Private messages: Miss Rose Potts

Miss Rose Potts: So...
:Hi Tony.

Tony Stark: Hi Ms. Super-Spy!
:Nice Twitter account you have there!

Miss Rose Potts: Critising my work? It worked, didn't it? Nobody figured out who I was until Steve snitched.

Tony Stark: I did.

Miss Rose Potts: No you didn't.

Tony Stark: No I didn't.
:To be fair, it's not like you interacted with us. Thinking back, I remember seeing you theorise Penny's parentage, but I just thought you were one of the fans.
:Not much to pin the account to you.
:Still, why "Miss Rose Potts" though?

Miss Rose Potts: It's much harder to be taken seriously when your account scream fangirling.
:Which is just the way I want it.

Tony Stark: I guess it worked out fine for you, then.
:But seriously, you got to change it.
:It freaks me out
:Feels like I'm talking to a cousin of Pepper or something
:I mean, you do have the red hair like her I guess, but still

Miss Rose Potts: Alright, I'll change it.
:No point keeping that image anyways.
:Stupid Steve...

Tony Stark: Amen.

Miss Rose Potts: By the way, congratulations on becoming a father. It suits you. Penny is a great girl.

Tony Stark: Thank you.
:I wouldn't recommend telling her that, though.
:She hates you and Steve enough to see any compliment you give her as an insult.

Miss Rose Potts: Do you know why she hates us so much?
:I mean, I can guess.
:But I'm not sure how spot on I am.

Tony Stark: Well first, you have to remember that she's a teenager. When they don't know the whole story, teenagers tend to fill in the blanks in the worst and most dramatic ways possible.
:Actually, that's mostly true for adults too.
:Also, I never confronted Penny over it. It was always a subject that felt too awkward to bring up.
:So anything I'm going to say is just some theories on my part.
:Penny doesn't know the whole story.
:What Penny does know is that you switched sides at the airport. She doesn't know why. She also know that the following chase against the Quinjet led to Rhodey's injuries.
:So, Penny assumed the worst: that you were secretly supporting Steve and waited until the right moment to screw his arrest over.
:She doesn't know you let Steve and Barnes go because you wanted the fighting to stop before someone got injured. She think you were doing it out of spite.
:I can't really blame her for thinking that. That's what I thought myself.
:By the way, I want to apologise for insinuating you were playing both sides and only looking out for yourself, that day when Rhodey was getting his scans. It was out of line.

Miss Rose Potts: I see.
:And apology accepted.
:In turn, I want to apologise for saying you only cared for your ego while you were worried over your friend's injuries.

Tony Stark: Accepted.

Miss Rose Potts: Is it fine if I talk to Penny?
:I want to apologize for what I did, and clear the air.

Tony Stark: Sure. Whether she'll listen thought, that's up to her.

Miss Rose Potts: Any advices?

Tony Stark: Make it clear from the get go what you are contacting her for.
:Go straight to the point.
:Don't play with your food, basically.

Miss Rose Potts: Got it.

Private messages: Penny Parker-Stark

Miss Rose Potts: Hello, Penny. It's nice to meet you. Can I talk to you for a bit? I want to apologize and explain some things.

@ParkourStank blocked @lovelyrose

Private messages: Miss Rose Potts

Miss Rose Potts: She blocked me!

Tony Stark: bwahahaha

Miss Rose Potts: Tony, please.

Tony Stark: Sorry, it's just so funny.
:Did she say anything before blocking you?

Miss Rose Potts: No

Tony Stark: Okay, let me talk to her. I'll tell her to at least listen to what you have to say.

Miss Rose Potts: Thank you.

Private messages: Tony Stark

Tony Stark: Hey, kid.

Penny Parker-Stark: hey dad!!
:youll never guessed what happened
:that traitor black widow tried to talk to me in private! like id trust whatever she wanna say to me!
:what makes her think i wanna talk to her?? or that she has the right to talk to us after what she did???

Tony Stark: Yeah, about that...
:I'm the one who told her it was fine if she contacted you.

Penny Parker-Stark: what
:dad whyyy

Tony Stark: To clear the air.
:Fix our friendships. Things like that.

Penny Parker-Stark: but she hurt you!

Tony Stark: And I hurt her.
:Nobody was innocent in that fight.

Penny Parker-Stark: i guess...

Tony Stark: I'm not saying you should forgive her.
:But please, just listen, will you?

Penny Parker-Stark: ...fine
:just cuz i luv you dad

Tony Stark: Thank you.

@ParkourStank un-blocked @lovelyrose

Private messages: Miss Rose Potts

Penny Parker-Stark: fine, what do you want
:i just want it on the record that im only listening because my dad want me to

Miss Rose Potts: Then I will go straight to the point.
:I want to explain from my point of view what happened in Germany.
:I know you hate me because I betrayed your father.
:Truthfully, it wasn't my intention to betray anyone when the fight began. It wasn't my intention to betray anyone when I let Steve and Bucky go either.
:It's just... I saw how we were all fighting each others.
:The Avengers are my family, and watching everyone fight, it felt like watching my family break apart.
:I feared that the longer the fight continued the more irreparable the situation would become, and the more likely someone would be gravely injured.
:When I saw Steve and Bucky reach the Quinjet, I knew I could stall them long enough for back-up to arrive and help me fight them.
:But I didn't want to fight them. I wanted it to end.

Penny Parker-Stark: So you let them go to stop the fight?

Miss Rose Potts: Yes. Exactly.

Penny Parker-Stark: oh
:if thats true then i guess you arent so bad
:if mr. dad can forgive you, then so can i

Miss Rose Potts: Good!
:Thank you.
:I would really like to meet you one day, Penny.
:Anyone who can give Tony grey hairs is a great person in my book.

Penny Parker-Stark: lol!

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
so i spoke with ms. black widow and i decided she was cool now! captain america still sucks ass though
269 replies, 468k RTs, 564k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Well it's a first step in the right direction at least

>Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
:(

Chapter 21: Names and Handles

Summary:

Natasha tries to change her Twitter handle.

Chapter Text

Penny Parker-Stark
@ParkourStank
Daughter of @IronMan and @MayParker!
Joined: February 2017
Name: Penny Parker-Stark
15 following 797k followers

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
I find it funny how much Tony hate being told he is "like the other dads" when he is, in fact, very much like the other dads.
198 replies, 211k RTs, 289k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Liiiieees! I'm a much cooler dad than everybody else. What other dads can fly around the world in a flying suit of armor?

>>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
But you also do classic dad stuff all the time. I wouldn't be surprised if you took naps while watching golf on the television.

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
I do not watch golf!

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
i have no words @IronMan
[Two pictures. The first show Tony asleep on the couch with a television remote in his hand in a classic sleepy-dad pose. The second is taken from behind the couch, and show the broadcast of a golf tournament playing on the television.]
421 replies, 522k RTs, 537k likes

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
LMAO

>Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Man I knew it!

>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
aww that's cute.

>Tony Stark @IronMan
kill me now.

Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
So, @IronMan asked me to change my name and handle because "it freaks him out". So, what do you guys think? Do I change to my name, or my super-hero name?
241 replies, 264k RTs, 325k likes

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
super-hero name

>Betty Brant @starreporter
Real name!

>thefunnyone @thefunnyone
use black widow

>Holly C. @bearscout
I think it'd be better to use your real name, maybe?

>>Julia B. @ppoiupoiu1
maybe?

>>>Holly C. @bearscout
Well i guess it depends on if she want to look more profesionnal or casual

>>>>HHH @hubhunhut
point.

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
why not do like dad, uncle rhodey, and the craptain? use your real name as your username and your superhero name as your handle.

>>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
Not a bad idea kid.

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
:D thank youuu!

>>>>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
I love how Penny went from hatred to fangirling in like a day.

>>>>>Awwooo! @CMoonMoon
i don't think penny is the kind to hold a grudge for long

>>>>>>(G)Abe @NotBrownButPink
She literally just called Captain america "craptain" lol

>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
because the craptain is the exception!

>>>>>>>>Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
:(

>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
stop giving me the sad emojis!!!

>>>>>>>>>>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
lmao

>>>>>>>>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
did black widow just type "lmao"??

>>>>>>>>>>>>Miss Rose Potts @lovelyrose
I may not be young like you, but I'm not old like Tony either.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
What's that supposed to mean? You think I don't know how to talk the language of the Generation Z?? I can say lmao xD vibe check dab cool af and all that!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
You missed a word: cringe

Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
never thought id be ashamed to be tony starks daughter, but here we are. anyone want to trade families with me?
[Link to Tony's reply to Nat]
619 replies, 433k RTs, 714k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Oh come on, Pen! I was making a joke!

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
im going to be sick my insides are literally withering and dying on the spot

>>>Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
Well, Penny certainly inherited your flair for the dramatic.

>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Shut up Steve

>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
You can't trade families yet, I need you for the wedding!

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
sigh, i guess thats a good reason to stick around

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
yay

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
wait what do you mean "yet"?

>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Don't you worry your pretty head about it.

Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
So, I changed my name, but I couldn't change my handle to "blackwidow" because someone already took it! @blackwidow, change it now!
619 replies, 433k RTs, 714k likes

>Spider's Web @blackwidow
Ecks Dee no

>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
LOL

>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
lmao

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Aww, your intidimidation skills are getting rusty, Agent Romanoff?

>>>>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
no. It's just different online. Help me out, will you?

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
What? To cyber-bully a cyber-kid?

>>>>>>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
To find me a new twitter handle.

>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Why not stick to the current theme and change it to "lovelynat"?

>>>>>>>>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
fuck no

>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Why not use the account I created for you a few years back? that one: @BlackWidowOfficial

>>>>>>>>>>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
I forgot that account existed.

>>>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Then use it.

>>>>>>>>>>>>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
...no

Tony Stark @IronMan
Did nobody ever use the accounts I created for you guys or what? I'm noticing a distinct lack of activity. @CaptainAmericaOfficial @BlackWidowOfficial @HawkeyeOfficial @DrBruceBannerOfficial @ScarletWitchOfficial @TheFalconOfficial @TheVisionOfficial
747 replies, 523k RTs, 917k likes

>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
No

>>Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
Not until very recently, no.

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Did none of you listen to @VirginiaPotts when she spoke about PR and talking to the public directly? What even is the point of creating them if you weren't going to use them?

>>>>Captain Steve Rogers @CaptainAmericaOfficial
Sorry, I guess?

>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
"Sorry I guess" he says...

>>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Are you seriously whining about Twitter accounts, of all things? Like it didn't take you 5 seconds to create them.

>>>>>>>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
How do you have the patience to marry this man?

>>>>>>>>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Sue me, I have no idea.

>>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Hey!

Tony Stark @IronMan
Well if the Avengers aren't willing to use the accounts I created for them. I'll just delete them all. No need to pollute Twitter with dead accounts. They can create their own in their own time if they want to join the site!
386 replies, 288k RTs, 467k likes

>Eleonore Elkins @pastelrosesEE
All of them?

>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
wait

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
uh Tony? I dont think you thought this through

Tony Stark @IronMan
Shit I think I accidentally deleted Steve's account. @CaptainAmericaOfficial appears to be gone. Oops.
1k replies, 868k RTs, 1m likes

>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
Dammit Tony

>Pepper Potts @VirginiaPotts
Wow...

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
bwahahaha i say good ridence craptrain!

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Penny no

>Iron Man Stan @bored_as_hell
LOL

>unicornmagic234 @unicornmagic234
oh poor captain :(

>MJ - BLM @MichelleJones
Amazing.

>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
how did that even happen?

>>Tony Stark @IronMan
Asked FRIDAY to delete all the accounts. She did ask me to confirm if I wanted to delete all of them and I said yes. It didn't click why she put an emphasis on the word "all" until it was too late.

>>>Harley @MechanicOfTennessee
gg

Colonel James Rhodes @warmachine
Let it be remembered that while @IronMan is one of the brightest and most intelligent men in the world, he is also incredibly stupid.
[Link to Tony's reply to Harley]
345 replies, 264k RTs, 169k likes

>Tony Stark @IronMan
Screw you honeybear.

Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
So, since the old man still get confused by electricity, I created a new account for him. Welcome @CaptainAmerica2 to Twitter!
345 replies, 264k RTs, 169k likes

>Grandpa Steve @CaptainAmerica2
Thanks, Nat.

>>Grandpa Steve @CaptainAmerica2
Hold on, why is my name "Grandpa Steve"?

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
HAHAHA I love you Nat!

>>>>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
¬‿¬

Grandpa Steve @CaptainAmerica2
Please @lovelyrose change it back!
98 replies, 154k RTs, 99k likes

>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
do it yourself, old man.

>>Grandpa Steve @CaptainAmerica2
Nat, come on.

>>>Natasha Romanoff @lovelyrose
No.

>>>>Grandpa Steve @CaptainAmerica2
:(

Natasha Romanoff @BlackWidowOfficial
Speaking about name changes, I finally changed my handle. Gone is "lovelyrose"
247 replies, 467k RTs, 632k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
we will miss her! :(

>>Natasha Romanoff @BlackWidowOfficial
Don't worry kid, I'm still here for you!

>>>Tony Stark @IronMan
I guess now I can finally cross "see Nat get wrapped around Penny's little finger" from my bucket list.

>>>>Natasha Romanoff @BlackWidowOfficial
hush you.

>>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
:D

Grandpa Steve @CaptainAmerica2
Can someone help me change my name? :(
1k replies, 389k RTs, 560k likes

>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
go to your profile then click "edit profile". you can change it there.

>>Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica2
Thank you, Penny!

>>Betty Brant @starreporter
Aww Penny is warming up to Captain America!

>>>Penny Parker-Stark @ParkourStank
betty i will literally make you swallow your tongue

>>>>Betty Brant @starreporter
You ain't got the balls.

>>>>>Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica2
Girls, please don't fight on my behalf :(

Series this work belongs to:

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Ajax_ExploringFanfiction on Chapter 1 Sun 19 Jan 2025 08:52PM UTC

💟─=≡Σ ฅ /ᐠ◥◣ᴥ◢◤ᐟ\ ฅ 💌✨

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Athi on Chapter 3 Thu 12 May 2022 05:42AM UTC

Ahhhh waiting for the next update

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TheRoyaldork on Chapter 3 Thu 12 May 2022 05:56AM UTC

I'm really digging this but could you change The Retard of Twitter @twitretard? It's basically a huge insult to people with autism. Could change it to pissant.

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MageVicky on Chapter 4 Wed 18 May 2022 12:11AM UTC

loved it, great chapter. rhodey exposing tony like that, lol. and harley and pen chatting and getting to know each other, love it.

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Dragon_Phoenix_Fire on Chapter 4 Mon 24 Mar 2025 05:21PM UTC

From my sister cause she doesn't have an account and can't comment:
another fun fact about australia is that they lost one of their presidents. he went for a swim and just straight up disappeared. oh and one time they put a shark in an aquarium and everything was perfectly normal for several days. then the shark barfed up some human limbs so thats fun

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Geickolonian on Chapter 5 Fri 13 May 2022 05:13PM UTC

Loving it so far, keep up the good work

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Hollydoor on Chapter 5 Sat 14 May 2022 03:03AM UTC

This story has become my stress relief. It's hysterical

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MageVicky on Chapter 5 Wed 18 May 2022 12:14AM UTC

omg dumb bitch for sure. lololol. she's a disaster and I love it.

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Gushky on Chapter 5 Sun 12 Jun 2022 04:30PM UTC

THSI CHAPTER BAHAHAHAH

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Norio (Guest) on Chapter 5 Sun 12 Jun 2022 04:53PM UTC

OH MY LORD THIS IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE. I LOVE IT! I AM BINGE READING THIS SERIES!

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LavaHD on Chapter 5 Tue 19 Mar 2024 03:54PM UTC

WE GOT ANOTHET F1 REFRANCE IN A MARVEL FIC BOIS AHAHAHAH (also its Seb sorry harley but mans was a menace in that RB tho i do like kimi and nico too)

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MageVicky on Chapter 6 Wed 18 May 2022 11:19PM UTC

omg great chapter!!! harley's visiting! and penny has a crush!!!

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Account Deleted on Chapter 6 Sat 29 Jun 2024 07:03PM UTC

I've read fics about the heater too. I think it was homeless peter living in the attic of a church. It was a good fic.

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Chaotic_Creator on Chapter 6 Fri 22 Aug 2025 01:39AM UTC

Fic may have been something like "The World Descends Into Madness On Twitter" don't remember the name exactly and think its been deleted cos I can't find it now

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MageVicky on Chapter 7 Wed 18 May 2022 11:22PM UTC

omg she was adopted!!! and there's no father named in her birth certificate?! dun dun dun

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Yoongi_kittynoir on Chapter 7 Tue 12 Dec 2023 09:36PM UTC

Penny mood: Ya no juego

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MageVicky on Chapter 8 Wed 18 May 2022 11:26PM UTC

omg so cute!!!!!!! but also, can just imagine reporters reading through this and being like omg and writing a story for buzzfeed and tmz and e news about the impending romance. lol

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just_ur_average_reader on Chapter 8 Sun 22 May 2022 03:10AM UTC

I squeaked, this is so adorable!!!!

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SkEtChY_doodles on Chapter 8 Wed 13 Sep 2023 01:57AM UTC

Was that a SnapCube reference?🤨

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I_liveforangst on Chapter 9 Sun 29 May 2022 05:52AM UTC

Omg please update again
IM LIVING FOR THIS

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