Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first time he met Shin-ah was three days after he had learned about his existence.

It came with a phone call.

The phone call happened while he was at the station filing his reports for the day. It had been a normal and boring sort of day (he knew this mostly because his flask was still half-full), containing only routine traffic stops and disturbances of peace by teenagers. It was the sort of day that was meant to be wrecked by some ground-shaking revelation, Ao would later muse. The sort of day that did mark the beginning of a new direction.

He didn’t know this until the captain called him into his office, his face pale.

“It’s…child services.” He said and Ao blinked.

“A new case?”

“No…I mean that they’re calling for you.” His captain said as he offered out the phone to him.

“I don’t have any kids. It must be the wrong person.”

“Just…take the call, Ao.” His captain said before leaving the room and leaving him alone with the phone. With a tired sigh, Ao lifted the phone to his ear.

“This is Seiryuu Ao speaking.” Ao said, unsure of what to expect.

“Hello, this Child Services. I’m sorry to call you on such short notice at your place of work, but this was the only number we had down on record.”

“It’s fine…I’m just slightly confused at why you are calling me.”

“I’m calling with some…regretful news. It has come to our attention that a Miss Aozora Ran has died. Do you recognize that name?”

“Aozora?” Ao repeated, wracking his brain. The last name felt distantly familiar, and then he remembered why. “Aozora is the last name of my cousin’s family I believe.”

“Are you not sure?”

“I’m not trying to be rude, but I don’t have that much of a family to begin with, and we aren’t very close. But I think Ran is-was my first cousin I believe. I hadn’t seen her in about twenty years and I have maybe spoken to her once that time.” Ao said, suspiciously, “Why?”

“Unfortunately Miss Aozora passed away the other day, a car crash and she has a young son. Right now he is in our custody, but as closest relative to the boy you are the one whom legal custody falls too.”

“What?” Ao demanded, “I’ve never even met the kid!”

“We understand. If you wish to sign custody over to the State, we will need you to come down to our office to do so.”

And so three days later he pulled up to the rather sullen looking building, still wearing his uniform and walked in, intending to simply sign the kid away to the state and be done with it. Ao had never liked kids and never wanted kids, so being stuck with one was the very last thing on the desirable list. He went into an office where people smarter than him threw around words like “care” and “responsibility” and never acknowledged the kid as a living and breathing human being. He was handed some documents but before he signed any of them away, he told them he needed to go out for a smoke and think about it all.

And he really thought he had made up his mind. But when he saw the boy playing by himself with an action figure, his gut immediately twisted. Ao knew that boy was related to him. He could see the Seiryuu blood running through him as clear as day, with that hair and those eyes of his. The boy saw Ao standing there as well, and shyly looked down onto the ground.

“Hey. Kid.” Ao stated and the boy visibly flinched and nearly curled in on himself. Ah, how depressing. Ao thought to himself. In the end, his hero-complex always caused him more trouble than it was worth. “Can you understand me?”

The boy nodded slowly but still looked up at him timidly.

“My name is Seiryuu Ao.” Ao told him bluntly, “And you are Shin-ah, correct?”

Shin-ah bobbed his head in agreement.

“I was your mother’s cousin. I’m going to speak to you and ask you something very important because this should be your decision because it’s your life, legality be damned.” Ao announced to the boy, “You have two options before you and I will explain each one. First, you can go with these folks you’ve been staying with and be put into another person’s house. We will probably never see each other ever again after that and you can just forget we ever met. However, if you go to that other person’s house, they have the right to get rid of you whenever they want if you cause them trouble. Do you understand this? That’s the way the world works.”

Shin-ah nodded again and Ao crossed his arms over his chest.

“Or option two, you could come home with me. I have a house and a job and I could provide for you. I could feed you and take care of you and things like that. But I’m not a very good man. I don’t promise that I will be nice to you all the time. I’ve got a temper and if I don’t get enough sleep I can be cranky but I promise no matter what I won’t get rid of you. Do you understand this as well?”

For a few moments the child was eerily quiet, and continued to look between Ao and the action figure in his hands. Finally the child looked up at Ao, his eyes clear and yet filled with a deep sadness that Ao could almost feel in his bones.

“Ma…Mama…gone?” The boy asked and Ao kneeled down on the ground before the boy who just looked at the toy in his hands emptily before placing it upon the ground.

“She died in a car crash.” Ao told him honestly.

“…not coming back…?”

“No.” Ao said softly. “I’m sorry.”

The boy didn’t cry, but instead just seemed to be deep in thought for a few moments. Shin-ah’s eyes met his, wide and gold just like his own.

“…Ao says bye…too?”

“If that’s what you want.”

The boy shook his head quickly and reached out to grab Ao’s sleeve.

“Go…with Ao.”

“That’s what you want?”

The boy gave a quick nod and Ao reached out to pat the kid’s head, as the boy looked up at him with wide, trusting eyes, and as he stood up to go back into the building and ask for different paper’s to sign, he felt a tiny hand grasp his fingers.

What a pain in the ass. He thought to himself as their eyes met. He had gone and done it now.

Oh well, he thought as he began to walk with the boy, hopefully things would work out.

After all, how hard could looking after a kid be?

Chapter Text

A happy bark greeted Ao and his new addition to the household as Ao walked with Shin-ah’s hand in his. Ao opened the door, and pushed the hyper dog back as he jumped upon his chest and attempted to lick his face as Ao awkwardly placed down Shin-ah’s suitcase. Shin-ah shyly stayed behind Ao until Ao motioned for Shin-ah to come over.

“Eko sit.” Ao ordered and the dog immediately sat in front of him, though was wiggling in his excitement to meet the new person in the house. Eko was too smart for his own good sometimes, and it had been a struggle to train him due to his independent outlook. But after many years of being together, Eko now minded his master with the sort of single minded devotion Ao doubted he would find anywhere else. “Shin-ah, meet Eko.”

“Eko?” Shin-ah reached out to touch Eko neck with nervous hands. However as soon as Shin-ah’s hands sank into Eko’s thick fur, his hesitation turned into obvious delight.

“Yes, my dog.” Ao explained as the Akita appraised the Shin-ah warily, sniffing his cheek. The toddler’s fingers clutched onto the fur of his neck, and Ao tensed. Eko was in general aloof and only minded Ao’s company, so Ao was slightly nervous that Eko might bite the child. But instead Eko let the toddler bury his head in his fluff, not caring if Shin-ah tugged on his ears a little. Shin-ah was incredibly gentle for a small kid, and as Ao kept popping in to check on him saw that the boy had curled up with the dog on the floor, resting his head upon Eko’s back and hugging him as the dog just looked up sleepily from the floor.

For Heaven’s sake, Ao thought as he felt his heart squeeze for no apparent reason whatsoever. He now understood where the middle aged women of the neighborhood were coming from when they gushed over their children and grandchildren, but he promised himself that under no circumstances would he end up like that.

As Eko minded Shin-ah, Ao looked around his modest home. Ao had inherited the house from his Uncle, who had paid off the mortgage years before. It was a small place, with only one bedroom, one bathroom, a living room area, and a kitchen, but it had a nice enough backyard that Eko could run in, and it was close to the police station. The social services people had told him his home was fine for a child, but Ao couldn’t help but hope that they hadn’t missed anything.

So by the time Ao had managed to pull the extra futon from the closet to air out, and set an extra toothbrush on the counter and returned, Shin-ah was already deeply engrossed in his nap as he rested with Eko. Feeling like he should at least do something or else the boy would get cold, Ao made sure to cover the child with a blanket before settling at his side to turn on the TV to occupy the quiet.

About an hour later the boy awoke, sleepily sitting up as Eko padded away to eat from his food bowl in the kitchen as Ao opened the shades once more to let in the afternoon sun.

“How did you sleep? Good?” Ao asked the boy who sleepily rubbed his eyes and nodded. “I didn’t think it would be polite to go through your things without you. How about we open up your suitcase?”

Shin-ah scooted closer to Ao as Ao opened up the suitcase and began to go through the contents within. A few clothes that appeared to be suspiciously too small, a worn blanket, and two picture books appeared to be the entirety of its contents. Ao lifted up one of the shirts within and held it up to Shin-ah before scowling.

“Do you own anything that actually fits you?” Ao asked and Shin-ah motioned to the outfit he was wearing before Ao sighed. “Okay, tomorrow I’m going to call in sick and we’re going to go get you some clothes and other things, alright?”

“Ao…mad?” Shin-ah asked, so quietly that Ao could scarcely make it out. Ao just shook his head and gave Eko’s head a pat as he approached the elder man looking for attention. Eko whined and moved to rest his head on Ao’s lap.

“No, I have plenty of money saved up so I can afford it. I just…I don’t know. We’ve got to make this work.” Ao explained, “So if there’s anything you need, you need to tell me clearly or else I won‘t know. I’m new to this.”

“Food.” Shin-ah said suddenly and Ao blinked.

“What?”

“Food.” Shin-ah repeated, rubbing his belly and Ao ran a hand through his hair before standing up. Ao approached the fridge, his expectations taking a nose dive as he tentatively opened it.

His side panels were filled with beer, he had a slice of pizza, an apple, and a jar of mayonnaise that might have been left over from before he broke up with his last girlfriend…three years ago.

Ao immediately closed the door and gave Shin-ah an awkward smile.

“Uh…how about we go to convenience store? We take Eko with us.”

Shin-ah excitedly stood up, bouncing on his heels as Ao took him over and they both put on their shoes, and Shin-ah put on his baseball cap. Ao demonstrated to Shin-ah how to put on Eko’s collar, before they began to walk out the door. For a few moments Ao and the boy walked quietly before suddenly Ao realized the child wasn’t walking beside him any longer and turned around in panic. Shin-ah was crouching on the ground inspecting different leaves as Ao marched up to him and Eko barked happily.

“Next time please walk beside me. You almost gave me a heart attack!” Ao chastised the boy who looked up at the tree and pointed.

“Yellow leaf!” Shin-ah said before tugging on Ao’s shirt. “Yellow leaf!”

“Yes, I see it! I’ll get it!” Ao muttered before straining on the tips of his toes to snatch the leaf between his fingers and present it to the child as Eko sat slightly beyond and looked at the whole display while wagging his tail. Shin-ah looked at both the yellow leaf and the green leaf in his hands before putting both in his pocket and offering his now free hand to Ao.

“Hand.”

“What?”

“Not…safe….crosswalk.” Shin-ah said and Ao immediately felt his eyebrow twitch.

“For me or for you?”

Shin-ah just continued to hold out his hand and Ao took it, marveling at how small his fingers were within his as Eko excitedly tugged at the leash.

“Alright, come on then.” Ao told him with a sigh as they began to walk down the street, hand in hand, “Let’s go get dinner.”

With a bag of groceries, Ao managed to fill up the fridge enough so that they would at least be fine until the next day. Shin-ah and Ao ate their bento boxes together at the table, Shin-ah unable to use chopsticks as he was too young and then fumbling with a spoon too big for him as he shoveled rice into his mouth, made Ao add proper utensils to the mental list of things he needed to get. Ao had to verbally remind Shin-ah that his food wasn’t about to run away from him, but nothing he could do could make the child stop inhaling his dinner. After this was done, and the bath was filled, Ao bathed Shin-ah, ignoring the circular marks riddling the bottoms of his feet, under his armpits, and just above his hips and the anger that rose within him at the sight. Ao had been told, obviously, about the marks’ existence. But when he saw them he wished for nothing more than to bash the skull of whoever was responsible. Unless Shin-ah told him, however, it would always remain a mystery.

Finally Ao got both of them changed, brushed both of their teeth, before leading a sleepy Shin-ah to bed as Eko settled in his bed in the corner of the bedroom. Ao had laid out the two futons and had placed Shin-ah on his own before laying down and putting out the light. But almost as soon as the light was out, Ao felt a small body wriggling into his space.

“Shin-ah…your own futon…” Ao groaned and Shin-ah touched Ao’s face.

“Ao…mad?”

“About what?” Ao asked, rubbing his eyes as he looked at the boy sitting beside him.

“Mama…said…troublesome.”

“You are troublesome.” Ao sighed, “But all kids are troublesome. You are worth the trouble, Shin-ah.”

“Ao…likes me?”

“Well I…I guess I do. For a brat you aren’t so bad.” Ao told him, feeling his own cheeks heat up. “And besides, Eko likes your company so I can’t really complain.”

“Ao will…stay?”

“Of course. Where else would I go?” Ao asked him with a huff before turning over on his side. “Now go to sleep. We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

And so Ao closed his eyes, feeling the child settle in the futon beside him, however when Ao awoke in the morning and felt a strange weight, Ao pulled up the sheets and was greeted Shin-ah resting his head upon Ao’s chest and looked further down to see Eko curled up at Ao’s feet. Ao let his hand press against Shin-ah’s back and lay back, sighing as birdsong chirped from outside his window.

Ao realized later on, that his flask had remained full for the whole day.

Chapter Text

A loud knock came at the door, making Ao yelp and drop the chopsticks he was using to stir fry into the pan. Eko immediately scurried over to bark and scratch at the door and Ao felt himself groan.

“What a load of-“ Ao immediately edited himself, seeing Shin-ah sitting on the footstool beside him as he kicked his legs in the air, and then sighing as he turned off the heat on the stove. “Can you go get the door? It might be the postman with your new things that I ordered. I’ll be right over in a second.”

Shin-ah nodded resolutely before toddling away and Ao quickly took the food off the heat and put it in a bowl as well as took off the lid of the miso soup. Ao had been rusty in the kitchen once he had started cooking once more, mostly because he never really bothered to cook much for himself, but he would feel bad if he made Shin-ah eat take out every night. And besides cooking did save money. Ao found, thankfully, that cooking for him was coming back easily, almost like riding a bike.

“HOLY-AO!” A rough and loud voice that was definitely not the mailman cried and Ao turned the corner only to see his old drinking buddy Geun-Tae staring wide-mouthed at Shin-ah while dropping the six pack of beer in his hand, Shin-ah immediately ran back into the home and hide behind Ao, shaking and obviously terrified of the sudden appearance loudness of the new man. Shin-ah, Ao thought, was too much like a skittish cat in that regard. The first time a neighbor had showed up at the door, Shin-ah had disappeared in the bedroom and hidden within the futon and it had taken Ao approximately twenty minutes to coax him out. Thankfully, he was getting accustomed to human interaction, but it was still all very new for him.

“Uh…go…wash your hands.” Ao told Shin-ah who just scurried out of sight, and Ao whistled to Eko who stopped jumping on Geun-Tae in order to follow Shin-ah dutifully. Geun-Tae just looked at Ao suspiciously.

“Alright, who did you fuck?” Geun-Tae asked and Ao scowled.

“Nobody.”

“You divided then.”

“I’m not a fucking bacterium, Geun-Tae!” Ao snapped, feeling his face burn with embarrassment. Geun-Tae just pointed to where Shin-ah had disappeared.

“Then who the hell is that kid?”

“My first cousin once removed.”

“Oh don’t try to make shit up. This isn’t some manga.”

“I’m not! He’s my cousin’s kid. She died and now I’m taking care of him.” Ao explained, rubbing his temples to ward off the headache beginning to stir beneath his skull.

“So this kid’s the reason why you’ve been totally off the map for the last week.” Geun-Tae said, before giving a sly smile, “Having a kid like that might be good for picking up ladies.”

“Yes. That was exactly my master plan. You’ve got me all figured out. What am I going to do? Because it totally makes sense that I get a kid, have to now think about things like preschool sign ups and nutrition, and I can’t go out drinking because this is the perfect way to pick up women. Yes. Now my entire existence has been made meaningful.” Ao said knowing his face was so deadpanned it might have caused flowers to wilt.

“You are actually a masochist aren’t you?” Geun-Tae asked him and Ao proceeded to throw the first thing within his reach, a remote at his face, causing Geun-Tae to duck.

“…not good.” Shin-ah said, padding in from the bathroom and tugging on Ao’s shirt. “Apologize.”

Geun-Tae’s muffled laughter at Shin-ah’s obvious determination and the furrowing of his little brow, and Ao sighed knowing there was no way of getting out of something once Shin-ah decided something.

“Fine. I’m sorry.” Ao said before wiping his hands on his apron and untying it from the back. “So do you want dinner or not?”

“You are actually quite dutiful, Ao-chan.” Geun-Tae teased and Ao gave him a look.

“Call me that again and I’ll rip your throat out.”

“You wanna fight?! I’m totally for it! Let’s go!” Guen-Tawe said brashly, standing up with a wild and excited smile as he rolled up his sleeves.

“Ao. Bad.” Shin-ah said firmly beside him and Ao couldn’t help but groan.

“Alright, alright. Dinner. Feel free to join us.” Ao said as he walked into the kitchen to get the stir fry, rice and miso soup. Geun-Tae was sitting at the table cracking open up his own beer, while Shin-ah was sipping at his apple juice. As soon as the food was served and they all began to dig in, Geun-Tae offered up a beer.

“Here, I know you like this kind.”

“Ah…no. No thank you.” Ao said awkwardly. Geun-Tae blinked in surprise before setting the beer down with little ado as they continued to eat. Ao and Geun-Tae talked about nothing in particular for a little while, Shin-ah listening in but completely focusing on eating his food as quickly as he could without choking. Finally, Geun-Tae turned the conversation back to Shin-ah.

“You know, I’ll have to introduce the kid to my wife. She’ll have a blast.” Geun-Tae said with a chuckle as Shin-ah tried to push his rice together with the spoon. “She also might try to steal him from you.”

“Wife…?” Shin-ah asked sounding confused.

“The woman I’m married too. Her name is Yuno.” Geun-Tae said, pulling out his wallet in order to show Shin-ah a picture of them together. “Ain’t she gorgeous?”

Shin-ah appeared to be enraptured with the picture, holding it up to the light with reverence as he inspected the image, while Ao just nudged him slightly after a few moments.

“Give it back to Geun-Tae now.” Ao said and Shin-ah nodded and gave the picture back to Geun-Tae before asking,

“What…wife…?”

“A woman you marry.”

“Marry?”

“You promise to be with each other forever and love each other, and also get tax benefits.” Geun-Tae explained and Shin-ah looked at Ao seriously.

“We…married?”

“Not even close. But if there is any way I can get tax benefits from you, please, let me know.” Ao told him seriously as he sipped at his soup and Geun-Tae began to cackle like a hyena.

“Always so serious, you’ll never get yourself a woman when you are always scowling that way.”

“Miracles don’t happen for everyone, Geun-Tae.”

“It certainly not a miracle, not all men have such supreme skill and excellence and charm.”

“Right, right.” Ao told him with a roll of his eyes.

They finished their dinner and Ao let Shin-ah run off to play with Eko in the backyard for a few moments as he wished Geun-Tae goodbye, holding out the pack of beers to him. Geun-Tae looked at him incredulously before accepting them.

“Are you really not drinking anymore, Ao?” Geun-tae asked and Ao just frowned and rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s…I can’t be getting drunk with a kid in the house.” Ao explained before Geun-Tae gave him a firm nod.

“That kid is a good kid. Make sure to enroll him in my dojo as soon as he’s old enough.”

“Kendo?” Ao asked incredulously, “The kid can barely stand me squashing bugs. I doubt he’ll have it in him to whack other people with swords.”

“It’ll give him some confidence. I see the way he clings to you.” Geun-Tae said before beginning to walk to his car, “I’ll tell Yuno about him and you should be able to enroll him in her daycare.”

“Should I pay you directly?” Ao asked and Geun-Tae turned on his heel and gave him a serious look.

“Don’t even try or I’ll punch you.” He warned before smiling, “I’ll see you later.”

“Ao…friend?” Shin-ah asked, peeking out from behind the door curiously as the car rolled away and Eko chewed on his favorite ball. Ao gave Shin-ah’s head a fond pat and his hair a ruffle.

“We’ve known each other for a while.” Ao said and immediately Ao noticed a shadow falling over Shin-ah’s face.

“Geun-Tae…married. Forever…with Yuno.” Shin-ah said, obviously struggling to make his point about a concept. However instead of demanding an answer from him Ao just nodded and continued to look upon him patiently.

“He is.” Ao said bending down to be at an eye-level with the boy who clutched his hands in his tee-shirt and looked down at his shoes. Shin-ah was nearly squirming at this point, something at the tip of his tongue and yet he was reluctant to say what it was. Finally he appeared to make up his mind.

“I…forever with Ao?” Shin-ah asked before looking up at him yet again, “Ao…forever?”

Ah, so that’s what it was. Ao thought.

“For as long as we can be. So don’t worry about it too much or else you’ll get wrinkles” Ao told him firmly, and Shin-ah patted his cheeks, obviously searching for the before-mentioned wrinkles as Ao was unable to contain his laughter at the child’s antics. “I didn’t tell Geun-Tae because he’s got a sweet tooth, but I picked up some ice cream before, to celebrate your enrollment at daycare. Let’s eat up, alright?”

“Vanilla?” Shin-ah asked hopefully.

“Nope. Only matcha.”

Shin-ah made a face of obvious displeasure and Ao couldn’t help but begin to laugh.

“Of course I got you vanilla. Now come on, let’s get our dessert.”

Shin-ah nodded and took Ao’s hand as he led them both back into the kitchen.

Ao decided that he must be getting the hang of whatever was happening here.

Chapter Text

Ao’s alarm clock jarred him from sleep, and he looked to see that yet again Shin-ah had curled beside him and Ao’s arm had moved to hold the boy against his chest. Ao really needed to get the kid to stop moving into his futon at night, Ao thought, before getting up. Immediately the noise of whines caught his attention and he saw Shin-ah begin to shiver and reach for where Ao had been, still in the grasp of sleep. With his foot, Ao nudged Eko who dutifully got up to lay beside Shin-ah in the futon. This was enough to satisfy the boy, who then drifted back into peaceful sleep.

He was getting way too used to this, Ao thought with a shake of his head as Shin-ah continued to sleep. He had been a bachelor two weeks ago and couldn’t have ever imagined himself taking care of another human. But here he was, domesticated, and the fact he didn’t mind made him very very concerned for his own sanity. What was next? Bingo on the weekend?

Ao first went to the bathroom, to use the toilet as well as to wash his face and brush his teeth. He looked at himself in the mirror, feeling his stomach turn and his head pound. He ground his teeth as he opened up the drawer to reveal the mouthwash and began to swish it between his teeth. Swallowing it was tempting, more so then he thought it would be. But despite the craving, he spit out the minty liquid, and gurgled the flavor away with water.

Ao half-stumbled into the kitchen, yawning as he turned on the rice cooker and put some of the extra miso-soup from the previous night in the pan to heat up. He poured the iced tea that Shin-ah liked into the glasses and then went to retrieve in Shin-ah, who was snuggled against Eko.

“Shin-ah, come on.” Ao said gently nudging and Shin-ah whined and attempted to move back under the covers, before Ao pulled off the blankets. “Breakfast.”

Shin-ah sleepily rubbed his eyes and followed Ao along into the living room where Ao set the warmed up food on the table before putting down Eko’s breakfast. The sleepy boy ate in a haze of sleep, and before long Ao found him crawling into his lap.

“Shin-ah, come on, I have work today. We have to eat so that you can go to daycare and I can go to work.” Ao said, trying to shoo Shin-ah off, but he stubbornly shook his head and continued to press himself against Ao’s chest. Ao frowned, pressing the back of his hand to Shin-ah’s forehead. Well, he assumed that he would know if he had a fever, but then again Ao had never really gotten sick that often. Finally, just assuming the child was just tired and cranky, Ao let him be on his lap as he continued to eat his own breakfast, and managing to get Shin-ah to eat the rest of his rice before leading him back into the bedroom.

As Ao changed he let Shin-ah choose his own clothing and watched as he put on his clothes just to make sure he didn’t put something on backwards or inside-out. Ao grabbed the bag filled with the required blankets, the bento box, and various other things that Ao couldn’t imagine a daycare kid needing but had gotten them because Yuno had told him too. Finally, as Ao put on his shoes, he looked back to see Shin-ah staring intently at him.

“What is it?” Ao said, “Come on then. We’ve got to go or else we’ll both be late.”

Shin-ah just continued to stand idly, and then shook his head. Ao felt frustration beginning to simmer in his gut.

“Shin-ah, put your shoes on now. We’re leaving.” Ao ordered, and his tone made Shin-ah flinch before running over to put on his shoes and his favorite baseball cap. Ao grasped his hand and they were out of the house and walking to the daycare. Shin-ah’s hand was grasping his fingers tightly, far more than usual, and by the time they walked the few blocks and were at the daycare, by the gate Ao was literally dragging a very uncooperative Shin-ah and felt a wave of relief hit him as Yuno came out to greet them.

“Hi Ao! Oh, and this must be Shin-ah!” Yuno said bending down be at Shin-ah’s eye level, only to have Shin-ah hide behind Ao’s leg shyly and clutch to his pants.

“Shin-ah, greet Yuno properly.” Ao told him but Shin-ah remained silent and watchful of her as Ao nudged him forward.

“Ao has to go to work so I’m going to watch you until he can pick you up later. We’re going to have a lot of fun, okay?” Yuno said her smile bright and welcoming. But Ao saw it immediately in the way Shin-ah’s shoulders were trembling and the way he clutched and twisted the fabric of his pants.

“Shin-ah.” Ao said, forcing the boy to look at him. And that was when the boy burst into tears, tears that streaming down his face as he sobbed helplessly. The other parents dropping off their children looked on at the sight understandingly but Ao panicked and stared at the child blankly as he continued to cry.

“No! No bye…no bye bye…” Shin-ah cried as he hiccupped and whimpered as his tears kept falling, “No Ao…no…don’t go…stay…”

Oh fuck. Ao thought panicking. No, he hated this. He hated the sight of this child crying. It made his heart feel like it was being ripped out of his chest, and his stomach twist into knots, and he knew at that moment that he would do anything as long as the boy would just stop. Ao had never considered the fact that maybe Shin-ah could be bad for his health, but he was seriously wondering that possibility at this point.

Ao bent down and Shin-ah immediately toddled back to Ao and Ao took the boy in his arms and into a hug.

“It’s alright. I’m coming back later, I promise. I’m not leaving you here.” Ao told him firmly as he wiped Shin-ah face with his sleeve. “You’ve got to be a big boy and be good to Yuno. Yuno is one of Ao’s very best friends and she’ll take good care of you until I can pick you up.”

“Later…?”

“After work.” Ao told him, “I’ll be back here at 4:30 on the dot to come get you. Until then, you absolutely cannot give your teachers and the other classmates a hard time by crying. You have to be a big boy. If you are, we’ll eat something good for dinner, okay?”

“Miss..Ao…” Shin-ah said, resting his head against Ao’s neck and Ao felt himself almost choke up. He was getting too attached to this kid, Ao thought as he resisted the urge to shake his head as he rubbed Shin-ah’s back.

“I’ll be thinking about you, okay? Now. Be good and don’t make me worry, alright?” Ao instructed Shin-ah as Ao set him down. Yuno took both Shin-ah’s hand and the bag, before Ao was off and running to work.

Ao only realized when he was throwing up his guts into the staff toilet later on that he missed Shin-ah too.

“Shit man, you look like absolute hell.” The commissioner said as Ao hauled a creep into the holding area and wiped his face. He had been sweating excessively for a few hours, and he took a long swig of a bottle of water.

“My head feels like hell.” Ao muttered, rubbing his temples.

“Maybe you should get to the doctor’s.” His commissioner stated and Ao just shook his head.

“I’m fine. Really.” Ao snapped as he attempted to brush past him, “Now I’ve got reports to do and then I have a kid to pick up.”

Suddenly a hand caught his arm and the commissioner looked at Ao in disbelief,

“Ao, have you stopped—?”

“I don’t have a problem.” Ao snapped as he interrupted him, “I’ll be fine in a few days.”

“Withdrawal can be serious.”

“I don’t have a problem.” Ao hissed between his teeth.

“Listen, my brother was the same way. Here,” The commissioner said, handing him a card, “They do great work. Call them, and for heaven’s sake, I’ll get that partner of yours to do the paperwork. Go pick up your kid.”

“He’s not—“ Ao tried to argue before just sighing. “Okay, thank you.”

With more time to spare, Ao went to the grocery store. The headache was still killing him, but the nausea had only really been bad in the mornings, when his body had realized that he hadn’t indulged himself in any liquid comfort the previous night. Ao had to steel himself from going into a certain aisle he knew so well as he gathered up ingredients, before walking back to the daycare. Yuno smiled at him from behind the counter and told one of the helpers of Ao’s presence and so he could grab the bag and put his grocery bags into it.

“Shin-ah’s in the playground if you want to go meet him there.” Yuno said and Ao nodded as they began to walk.

“How was he?”

“Well, he’s so shy. I was very worried that it would be hard on him.” Yuno said as they turned the corner only to see Shin-ah in the sandbox, with a dark haired boy and a pale boy. “Ah, that’s Hakuryuu Kija, one of the four year olds. He saw Shin-ah playing by himself and walked over immediately to introduce himself. He’s very outgoing like that. Oh, and the other boy is Son Hak. He’s Kija’s friend, but he’s also in Shin-ah’s age group and they’ve been thick as thieves as well.”

Ao breathed a sigh of deep relief as he saw Kija leading Shin-ah by the hand over to Ao. Shin-ah immediately broke out into a spirited trot and reached out and clung to Ao’s pants. With his free arm he bent down to give Shin-ah a hug, feeling him grip onto his neck tightly.

“See? I came back, didn’t I?” Ao asked the boy who simply nuzzled against his neck. Ao let go and took Shin-ah’s hand and turned to see Kija. “Thank you.”

“Shin-ah is a good boy.” Kija announced proudly, and Ao swore he recognized something about him but didn’t say, “I’ll look out for him!”

“I hope so.” Ao said before looking to Shin-ah, “Ready to go home?”

Shin-ah nodded, waving to his new friends before beginning down the street with Ao’s hand in his.

“See? I told you daycare wouldn’t be bad.” Ao said, “Now, I’ve got stuff for hamburgers so I hope you are hungry.”

“…Eko too?”

“Yes, maybe Eko can have some.” Ao said with a roll of his eyes, “Now tell me about your day? What did you do?”

So Shin-ah quietly informed Ao of the happenings of his day throughout the walk, and they spent a sleepy evening making dinner and watching TV and doing nothing of note besides tacking up a new picture upon the fridge.

But somehow that made everything seem so much more important.

Chapter Text

“Shin-ah, pass!” The kid named Hak, as Ao had learned called to Shin-ah as he kicked the ball. To Ao’s surprise Shin-ah intercepted the pass and kicked it back to Kija, who smiled and returned it to Hak. Ao sat with Yuno for a few minutes as the boys continued to play together and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Shin-ah’s actually very coordinated.” Yuno said, “No one else could keep up with Hak but Kija, so he’s been very happy.”

“I’m just honestly relieved he’s made friends.” Ao admitted, “He’s so shy, I was worried about it.”

“He has a hard time taking naps though. He has nightmares.” Yuno said her face uncharacteristically serious. “Do you know any of his history?”

“Not much.” Ao told Yuno, “I didn’t really know his mother. And as far as I can tell, he has some serious…what’s the word? When you don’t like being apart?”

“Separation anxiety?”

“Yeah. That. He has separation anxiety when I’m not close by or he doesn’t know exactly where I am.” Ao said before releasing a sigh, “They said I was his closest relative, but what about his dad? Or what his mother did for a job. They found Shin-ah alone in the house after his mother died, so why did she leave him there? I don’t know any of those things. Maybe I should ask him.”

“Well you may not know those things, but do know that Shin-ah loves you very much.”

“We’ve only been together for two months now. I doubt that.” Ao huffed and Yuno gave Ao a gentler smile.

“And you love him. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be trying to change.” Yuno said and Ao flushed spluttered as Yuno stood up and stretched, “You know, just looking at you two, and how happy you are now, it really makes me want to have my own children.”

“Oh please don’t. I’m not sure the world can handle more Geun-Tae.” Ao teased making Yuno laugh before giving Ao a smile.

“Shin-ah’s birthday is coming up in a month, right? He’ll be three. Let me know and maybe I can help you throw a birthday party.” Yuno said and Ao nodded.

“That would be appreciated.” Ao said before standing up with the bag and calling, “Shin-ah, say goodbye to your friends, it’s time to go!”

Shin-ah waved to both Hak and Kija before walking up and taking Ao’s hand.

“Did you have a good day today?” Ao asked the boy who looked up to him, eyes bright as he nodded.

“Played…new picture…”

“That’s good. You’ll have to show me later.” Ao said as they made their way home.

Shin-ah was coloring at the table with the crayons that Yuno had given him while Ao poured himself some tea and flipped idly through the TV channels as Eko gnawed at a treat. It was the sort of domestic scene that still made Ao double take every time he saw it, but he had to admit that he was slowly but surely coming to the realization that this was his life now and he didn’t necessarily dislike it. His house used to be rather quiet and empty with just himself and Eko, but with Shin-ah the fridge had become a proud canvas, next to his toothbrush was another on the counter, and more often than not he found himself smiling at the dumbest things. It was weird and new, but Ao wouldn’t change it back to the way it had been before.

“Ao…” Shin-ah said before holding up a picture. It was a childish scribble of what looked like both him and Ao holding hands and walking a blob that looked to be Eko.

“That’s really good, Shin-ah.” Ao said standing up, “Should I put it on the fridge?”

Shin-ah nodded and Ao got up, the picture in hand as he stuck it on the fridge with magnets, and then sat back down to pour Shin-ah his own cup of tea. Shin-ah crawled over to tug at Ao’s shirt in order to get his attention yet again.

“Yeah?” Ao asked as he continued to take a drink.

“Is Ao…papa?”

Ao spewed out all of the liquid in his mouth onto the table and Eko who barked and began running around the house in a startled and frantic flurry before running out the dog door and into the backyard as Ao coughed and choked on the remnants of what he had just been drinking.

This kid was seriously going to be the death of him.

“What?!” Ao demanded his voice rough, his probably glowing from the heat of his embarrassment. “I certainly never spawned a brat like you, that’s for sure. Where did you get that idea?”

“At school…they say…papa is man you live with.” Shin-ah explained, rolling the crayons on the table. “Ao…isn’t papa?”

“No. Definitely not.” Ao said earnestly, “I’m your relative. Your first cousin once removed, technically.”

Shin-ah just stared at Ao blankly and Ao just groaned, ruffling his hair for a moment as he tried to collect himself. That name…well…he had never thought that a single word could set off such a violent physical reaction. No, if Shin-ah ever called him that ever again Ao would definitely die. That word was dangerous for his health, sanity, and wellbeing.

“I’m only to explain this once, okay?” Ao told him after a moment of thought. “You understand what it means to have siblings, right?”

“Brothers…and sisters.”

“Exactly. If your mother has a brother, he is called your Uncle. If she had a sister, she would be called your Aunt. Do you understand that?”

Shin-ah nodded yet again.

“The children of Aunts and Uncles are called cousins. Your mother was my Uncle’s kid so we were cousins. Since you are the first generation from that cousin, you are my first cousin once removed. So no, I am not your father.”

“Ao isn’t Papa.” Shin-ah said as if making sure that he understood what Ao was saying, and in return Ao offered a resolute nod.

“You have your own father.” Ao said before suddenly the thought hit him, “Do you remember anything about him?”

Shin-ah shook his head before saying resolutely,

“I like Ao…better.”

“Though I appreciate that, I don’t know if it means much being compared to someone you don’t know.” Ao said with a sigh, laying backwards onto the floor. “It might be better that way. Saying my father and I didn’t get along would be an understatement. I wish I never knew him.”

“Ao’s…papa?”

“He’s gone now.”

“Forever…like Mama?”

“Yeah. Like that.” Ao sighed, looking up at the ceiling. He had a bad headache throbbing in his temples, but that wasn’t anything new. He lifted his hand up to see the slight tremors before closing it into a fist. Ao certainly had enough legacies the old man had left behind that it was impossible for him to forget.

“Do you…miss him?” Shin-ah asked, looking Ao in the eyes.

“It’s hard to say.” Ao told Shin-ah honestly. “We didn’t get along. And for the most part he wasn’t nice. But sometimes…he made it hard for me to hate him.”

“Oh.”

“You must miss your mother.” Ao said and Shin-ah just looked at the ground intensely, as if he was trying to formulate an answer to his question. Ao was sure that no one had ever posed the question to him.

“I…miss Mama…but like Ao better.” Shin-ah said certainly. “Ao isn’t mean.”

“Was your mom mean to you sometimes?” Ao asked him and Shin-ah nodded his expression so sad, so very old for a brat so young. Ao reached up to touch his face, marveling at the smoothness of his cheek. He really was so little, Ao thought amazed as Shin-ah nuzzled against his touch. Had he ever been so tiny? So fragile? Children truly were terrifying, Ao thought. They were so easily hurt, so trusting. How anyone would purposely do harm to a good boy like Shin-ah was beyond his comprehension, but Ao was grateful for that. After all, that was one thing Ao promised he wouldn’t ever become. He was still little, so Ao still could keep him from becoming a ruined adult like he was. “I won’t be like that to you, alright? No matter what. I’ll at least protect you. That’s my job now.”

Shin-ah nodded before saying,

“Love Ao…”

Ao felt his face flame and attempted to keep his mouth from turning into a weird smile, but despite his efforts his mouth attempted to twist out his control. Ao reached out to pull Shin-ah down against his chest.

“Ao?” Shin-ah asked and it was really no good. This kid was no good for his heart.

And so Shin-ah rested his head against Ao’s chest, and Ao was grateful he could hide his smile.

Chapter Text

“I hope you are hungry. I made a lot.” Ao told Shin-ah as he pulled up the bento box he had made for both of them. Shin-ah had been playing in the park with Eko, running with him as he tossed the ball, and enjoying his time on the swings. As soon as lunchtime came around, Ao had unpacked the bag and had lay out a blanket so they could eat, Eko laying down on the grass obviously hopeful for scraps. Shin-ah looked on with excitement, fixing his baseball cap as Ao unbound the bento box and popped it open. Ao had talked with Yuno and discussed how Shin-ah was small for his age and had obviously been malnourished. She had offered him a bunch of recipes that he could work on to get Shin-ah to eat as much as he could.

As Shin-ah bit into an onigiri, and Ao started in on his soup, Ao couldn’t help but notice how much better Shin-ah looked from when they had first met. Though pale by nature just as Ao was, Shin-ah did have color to his face, his cheeks had begun to fill where they had been gaunt. He had noticed Shin-ah had more energy to play then he ever had before. It was all encouraging to say the least. And even if Shin-ah was still desperately shy and quiet, he had also become more vocal to his opinions. He might eat everything Ao gave to him, but he began to make clear his preferences. When Ao offered options of things to do for play, before when Shin-ah would have remained silent and frozen, he felt comfortable picking. Even if it was just a little bit, he was getting more confident, and Ao was happy for him.

“Ao…” Shin-ah said as looked to where Eko was looking at him with pleading eyes, wagging his tail pathetically as if he saw before him the faintest hope of stealing some chicken kuraage or a bit of rice. Ao immediately gave the sneaky dog a pointed look. That dog was smart, going after the one he knew might give with those puppy eyes of his. But no way was Ao going to let that become a habit.

“No you can’t.” Ao told him and Shin-ah frowned.

“Hungry.” Shin-ah argued as Eko milked the attention for what he got and whimpered.

“Oh he’s definitely not.” Ao said, “He’s begging. If you feed him human food he’ll get sick and throw up.”

“Sick?” Shin-ah asked concerned.

“Exactly. That’s why we can’t feed him anything but dog food at the correct times, maybe a little rice once in a while.” Ao instructed and Shin-ah scooted over to pet Eko.

“Sorry…Eko…” Shin-ah told the dog who licked his hand and panted happily, ears and tail twitching happily at the attention.

“He forgives you. But you have to remember, he’s a dog. Sometimes dogs don’t know what’s for their own good.” Ao told him, and Shin-ah crawled over to settle himself in Ao’s lap, continuing to eat his onigiri, and Ao found that he didn’t mind. “So tell me, what do you think?”

Shin-ah looked up at him confused and Ao just sighed.

“About living with me?” Ao asked him honestly. “We’ve been living together for a bit now. I guess I just wanted to know.”

“Love Ao.” Shin-ah said immediately and Ao felt his face heat up and he blinked and attempted to keep that weird smile from tugging at his lips. He immediately ran a hand through his hair.

“Okay, I know that. But…is there anything that you want me to do? Or that I can do better?” Ao asked, “Or even something simple? Like where do you want to go to play? Or if you have anything you want to try to eat?”

“…Aquarium.” Shin-ah said and Ao rubbed his chin.

“The aquarium, huh? Have you ever been before?” Ao asked and Shin-ah shook his head as he finished up the onigiri in his hand.

“Hak…went to aquarium with Grandpa…got fish toy…saw penguins.”

“You really want to see the penguins, don’t you?” Ao asked suspiciously, seeing a very determined glimmer in the young boy’s eyes. “Alright, next weekend let’s plan on going to the aquarium.”

“Love Ao.” Shin-ah repeated, leaning back against him and Ao just sighed.

“Now come on then. Don’t go sounding like a broken record, and finish your lunch.” Ao told him, and Shin-ah leaned back against him, and Ao was grateful he wasn’t looking because of how hard he was blushing.

It was the call no parent or guardian ever wants to get at work. When his phone rang on his desk, and he saw Yuno’s caller ID, the sinking feeling in his gut was absolutely indescribable as he picked up the phone half-way into panic.

“Yuno, what’s up?”

“I need you to listen and not panic.” Yuno said, her voice uncharacteristically serious. “Shin-ah’s running a fever. I just noticed it after he woke up from his nap.”

“A fever?” Ao asked before biting the inside of his cheek. “I can’t get off of work until my regular time. I’ll try to get off of work as soon as possible.”

“Alright. I’ve got some medicine here so hopefully I can get his fever down. Just try to come as fast as possible.” Yuno told him, and Ao said goodbye quickly before doubling down on his paper work.

He ran out of work without saying goodbye to anyone, down the streets to the daycare where Yuno greeted him with a smile.

“He’s sleeping in the nap room.” Yuno said, “He was very good about taking the medicine, and he’s been resting ever since. Kija came down with something similar yesterday so it’s not a huge surprise.”

“That’s good. Can you grab my bag as I get Shin-ah?” Ao asked and Yuno nodded before opening the door to the room where Shin-ah was sleeping. Ao kneeled by him, gently shaking him and Shin-ah looked up at him, face flushed, rubbing his obviously bleary eyes. “Hey, Shin-ah.”

“Ao…my head hurts.” Shin-ah murmured, his voice sounding pitched before of a stuffy nose, as Ao picked up the kid in his arms, letting him rest his head on his shoulders despite his hot cheek.

“I know. It’s alright. I’ve got you.” Ao said, as the sleepy child continued to cling to him as Yuno quickly handed him the bag. “Thanks, Yuno.”

“No problem. Make sure to get a lot of rest tonight, Shin-ah.” Yuno said with a warm smile, Shin-ah nodding sleepily before tucking his head against Ao’s neck, and then they were off, Ao holding both the kid and the bag as they made their way back home, Ao trying to ignore the ache that began in his back as he fumbled with the keys and pushed Eko back. Eko, sensing that something was up, backed off immediately, following Ao dutifully as he lay Shin-ah down in the futon, taking off Shin-ah shoes as he did so.

“How do you feel?” Ao asked, pressing his wrist to Shin-ah’s forehead, taking note of the heat. “You said your head hurts, right? Anything else?”

Shin-ah shook his head and Ao whistled to Eko, who immediately sat himself by Shin-ah’s side, minding the boy like a nursemaid as Ao went to go retrieve some medication from the bathroom. All he had was adult fever relievers, and he knew that the dosage would be too much, so he cut the pill in half before returning with it and a glass of water. Shin-ah was already curled on his side, Eko next to him, and Ao eased him up, placing the pill in his hand and helping him to gulp it down.

“Are you hungry? Is there anything else I can get for you?” Ao continued to pry, feeling much like a broken record, but Shin-ah just shook his head. “Alright, do you think you can get back to sleep after you finish drinking the cup of water?”

“…story?”

“You want me to tell you a story?” Ao asked the boy who nodded, “What about?”

The kid didn’t seem to have any answers, so Ao just wracked his head before coming up with a suitable answer.

“Uh…how about I tell you the story of how Eko and I met?” Ao asked, and the dog perked up at the sound of his name, and Shin-ah looked interested from where he was being bundled by blankets by Ao. “Once upon a time…I…I lived alone in this house-“

“Lonely?” Shin-ah asked and Ao for a moment blinked. Had he been lonely? He couldn’t exactly say. But the house had been empty, but his fridge full of alcohol. He had always been good at his job, but sometimes that couldn’t be enough. He couldn’t say he didn’t miss having alone time, but time spent with Shin-ah felt much more meaningful (though he wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it).

“No. Just bored.” Ao said, “And one day we got a call from a woman who had seen a dog tied up in a field by her house. She had been feeding the dog, but she was worried because monsoon season was coming in a week or so and she called us. So we went with some chain cutters and tried to get close, but the dog was injured and mean. My partner wanted to call the people from the pound, but I felt bad for the dog. So, every day for a few days I went to earn the dog’s trust. I fed him and talked with him, and coaxed him to let me pet him and then, I was able to cut the chain. I thought at first I would bring him to the pound, but he followed me everywhere, and when I called to him he always barked back, like my echo. Eventually I just got used to it, and I took him home. And we’ve been friends ever since.”

He reached out to pet Eko, whose tail thumped on the ground.

“Like me.” Shin-ah said looking up, amber eyes wide in the lowlight.

“Eko? How?”

“Ao saves.” Shin-ah explained and suddenly his heart constricted in his chest.

“I haven’t done anything for you.” Ao said, trying not to bite his lips. “I can’t even make you feel better.”

“Love Ao.” Shin-ah said, firmly.

Ao felt his eyes sting but in no way was he going to cry in front of brat that was for sure. So instead of saying anything, because if he did he was sure he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from crying, he instead leaned down, pressing his lips softly to Shin-ah’s forehead, just for a moment. Shin-ah looked up at him, smiling the first smile that Ao had ever seen him smile and Ao couldn’t stop his blush as he ruffled his hair.

“Go to sleep.” Ao ordered gruffly, watching as the boy nodded and Ao escaped back to the kitchen, before crouching on the ground, hugging his stomach and hissing to himself, “Shit. Shit shit shit. God, I’m such an idiot. What’s actually wrong with me? I’m too fucking young to have a heart attack. Get your shit together, Ao. Make some rice gruel or something, and just fucking compose yourself. You need to be the adult.”

Ao released a breath, managing to get up and begin to rinse the rice that he planned on making into porridge that he could heat up for Shin-ah as soon as he was hungry enough to eat. He soaked the rice and while he did so prepared the chicken stock that he would cook the rice in, and mechanically poured the strained rice in. And then, all of a sudden, he realized that the sake he kept only for the holidays was in his hand, instead of the stock cubes he had been grabbing for beneath the pantry. He stared at it, his fingers trembling. He could drink it, a part of him begged. Everything would stop bothering him so much. Hell, he might even be a better guardian, parent, whatever to Shin-ah when he was drunk. It would be easy-easy—

Ao immediately lunged for the sink, dumping the liquid down and watching as it glugged and disappeared down the drain.

Good fucking riddance. Ao thought as he returned to cooking, only for a knock to come at the door. Expecting a salesman, Ao went to the door prepared to unleash his frustrations.

Instead, he saw a man dressed in traditional dress, a limo, and what looked like bodyguards.

“Are you, perhaps, Seiryuu Ao?” The man asked, pale and fine dressed in a black silk kimono.

“Ah…yes?” Ao asked, befuddled and immediately one of the bodyguards offered a multitier Bento and the man bowed deeply as the rest of the bodyguards prostrated themselves on his property.

“Please, forgive the young master.” The man said and Ao’s felt his jaw drop.

He had been hoping to avoid Shin-ah’s rebellious phase until at least double digits. But since when had Shin-ah fallen in with yakuza?

Oh Heavens, Ao thought, what have I gotten myself into?

Chapter Text

The man had to be more of less Ao’s age, and had to be what Shin-ah’s friend Kija would look like aged thirty or so years. Ao had awkwardly offered him tea as the gruel continued to simmer on the pot and he looked at Ao with a warm, inviting smile, before bowing his head again.

“My name is Hakuryuu Gi-Min. My son, Kija, the young master of our household has caused your son illness. Such a thing is a grievance against our family’s name.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal.” Ao tried to say, “Besides, who knows where Shin-ah actually caught it from.”

“Still. I feel, in fact, that my son is partly to blame. Please accept my personal apology for the inconvenience that this has caused you.” Gi-Min said, before raising his head, looking dignified, “Allow the Hakuryuu Group to compensate you if you need to take him to the hospital or for any care needs. It it is the least we can do for one of Kija’s friends.”

“Hakuryuu Group?” Ao asked, before balking at the new information. “You mean, the land-owning family from around here that runs the resort?”

“That would be us.” Gi-Min said and Ao tried to not be obvious with his relief that he wasn’t dealing with yakuza. Good. At least he didn’t need to fear about Shin-ah becoming a delinquent at the tender age of three.

“That wouldn’t be appropriate. I would hate to abuse your kindness.” Ao tried to reason but Gi-Min was apparently stubborn.

“As a fellow father then.”

“Ah…I’m not actually Shin-ah’s dad.” Ao said awkwardly and Gi-Min’s eyes grew large.

“Really? Even though from what Kija showed me from the pictures of the class, you look so much alike?” Gi-Min asked and Ao shook his head.

“I’m a relative. His mother passed early this year in a car accident and I’ve been kind of watching out for him ever since.” Ao explained and watched as Gi-Min looked at him with sudden, obvious admiration.

“I never knew my son kept company with boys with such admirable families. When Kija stated his desire to go to regular school instead being home tutors, I was wary, of course, but truly you are a wonderful man!”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Ao said flatly but Gi-Min just looked as if he was proud.

“You are of a fine, upstanding character, taking care of a relative in need like that! I am utterly moved!”

“Please don’t be.” Ao tried to reason, “I feel like that anyone would have done the same thing.”

“You would be surprised. In this world, having such character is a rarity.” Gi-Min said before checking the time on his suspiciously nice-looking watching, “Ah, I must be going. My wife will be expecting me back.”

“I’ll see you to your car then.” Ao said standing up before Gi-Min held out his hand.

“Do not worry. We are always worrying for Kija at our home, seeing as he is the heir to our family name. When I heard about the new friend he made I was very excited, because more than anything I wish for him to be happy. So please, tell Shin-ah to continue to look out for him and if there is anything you ever wish to ask of me, please do so. As soon as Kija decided it, you two were already like family.” Gi-Min said, bowing his head which Ao returned.

“Likewise.”

And so Gi-Min exited his house, and Ao watched in awe as the limo drove away.

At that moment, the timer on the counter went off, and Ao went to go take the rice porridge off the oven.

It was about eleven at night Ao saw Shin-ah toddle out of the bedroom, his face noticeably less red, but with Eko watching on from the room as Ao turned to see Shin-ah grasping his shirt.

“How are you feeling?” Ao asked, and Shin-ah just rubbed his belly.

“Hungry…”

“Alright, let me heat up some porridge for you. Do you want to sit at the table or eat in bed?” Ao asked and Shin-ah answered his question by sitting down at the table and resting his head there as Ao got up for a second to let Eko out before going to the fridge. He heated up a small bowl in the microwave, before placing it down in front of Shin-ah as he let Eko back in from his quick romp. As soon as Ao sat back down next to Shin-ah. Ao didn’t complain as Shin-ah moved into his lap, and instead he felt the dampness of Shin-ah’s shirt, obviously of his fever-sweat, and made a note to himself to perhaps get the boy wiped down and into fresh pajamas.

Shin-ah ate slowly and didn’t finish the bowl, but Ao got him to sip at some more water before he rested against his chest, curling his fingers into Ao’s shirt.

“Did you sleep okay?” Ao asked, gently rubbing his back. The boy shook his head before saying,

“Ao…wasn’t there.”

“I’m sorry, but it was too early for me to go to bed.” Ao told him gently. “I’ll go to bed with you now if you want.”

Shin-ah just nuzzled his face against his chest as a weak cough arose from his chest. It was the weight of him in Ao’s arms that was almost addicting to him. It felt good, Ao thought, to let Shin-ah rest in his arms. In those quiet, private moments, Ao could almost feel the pulsing desire, the craving for liquid comfort as a faraway echo, and most importantly he felt happy. Which was weird and new because Ao had barely ever been happy before. Content, sure. But happy? No. He had been too busy being miserable with himself and in his generally solitary life. But somehow, taking care of this brat had made Ao like himself better. Sometimes he looked in the mirror and actually saw someone at least slightly worth half a damn. He figured, that even if the brat caused him trouble, he had given Ao something that precious.

“Shin-ah.” Ao said and the boy opened his eyes, his lids obviously heavy. “I’m going to take you back to bed, alright?”

Ao lifted the nearly sleeping boy up and walked them to the bedroom where he lay Shin-ah down on his futon, not even bothering to kid himself that the boy wouldn’t just move over during the night. He pulled up the blanket over them, wrapping his arm around Shin-ah who simply cuddled against him, obviously happy with this turn of events.

“Shin-ah,” Ao said, and the boy acknowledge his question with a nod. “I will still take you to the aquarium if you feel better this weekend. If not, we can go next weekend. But let’s try to get you better so we can go see those penguins as soon as humanly possible.”

“Love Ao.” Shin-ah said, muffled by the blankets and Ao’s shirt. Ao just leaned his head against the palm of his hand, and patted the child’s head.

“Yeah. You too. Now go to sleep or I’ll put you to sleep myself.” Ao said in mock-warning, as he watched Eko settle in his bed and Ao reached for the remote to turn off the light in the bedroom.

The room was hot, and Shin-ah was clinging to him so he couldn’t move around as much. But for some reason, Ao had never felt better.

Chapter Text

“Ah…good afternoon. You are Shin-ah’s father, correct? Seiryuu Ao?” Another one of the parents, a mother asked him and he blinked. Shin-ah had just run back into the classroom to grab the umbrella he had forgotten and Ao had been simply waiting by the entrance with Yuno, chatting. The mother was a young woman in a stylish looking outfit and uncomfortable looking high-heeled shoes, and Ao immediately shuttered because Gods know you couldn’t pay him enough to try to run after Shin-ah with those monstrosities strapped onto his ankles.

“I’m not actually Shin-ah’s father.” Ao just stated bluntly, “But yeah.”

“Mommy, I wanna go home now!” The mother’s girl said, tugging at her hand but the mother just offered him a smile and ran her well-manicured fingers through her salon colored hair.

“If you are free on Saturday, I would love to go get a drink with you—”

“Sorry. I’m bringing Shin-ah to the aquarium on Saturday.” Ao said immediately. “Also I don’t drink, so I’m going to have to turn down that offer.”

Immediately the mothers who had congregated by the gate had gone silent, the mother who had been talking to him quickly hurried away, and suddenly a sharp kick came on Ao’s back sending him jerking forward before glaring at Yuno.

“What was that for?” Ao asked and Yuno put her hands on her hips.

“Are you just purposely super dense or actually an idiot?” Yuno said, “She was obviously asking you out on a date.”

“Well she should have been clearer then.” Ao said, rubbing his back, “Besides, I have no obligation to go on a date just because someone asks me. And I don’t even know her.”

“Well if you went on a date with her you would have gotten to know her.”

“I have no interest in that right now.” Ao said with a scoff. “I’m busy.”

“Do you realize that on the path you are walking right now, you will be forever alone.”

“Oh, I’ll just cry myself to sleep then. Oh, the tragedy.” Ao said sarcastically. “I might not be able to live with myself.”

“Just let me set you up on some dates with my friends. They would all be interested.”

“And why’s that? I’m a police officer at a local station, with a kid. Not really a winning combination.”

“Because you’re hot.”

Ao literally gagged, attempting not to dry heave onto the ground.

“Oh my fucking God why did you just say that?”

“Well it’s true! Besides Geun-Tae you are second to none.” Yuno said with a winning smile, “You are very handsome, and would be a knock out if you actually dressed properly. Have a little more confidence in your looks and charm!”

“I’m actually going to throw up. You sound just like my mother.” Ao said, covering his mouth as his stomach churned. “Please stop.”

“Well, if you ever feel up to it, just let me know.” Yuno said as Shin-ah nearly skipped out of the daycare. She bent down and waved at him. “Bye-bye Shin-ah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye-bye…” Shin-ah said with a little wave, before Ao began to walk out of the daycare with him.

“Shin-ah.” Ao said with a stern voice.

“Yes?” Shin-ah said, fixing his baseball cap as he looked up at Ao, concern in his features.

“Always remember that women are bloodthirsty creatures.” Ao warned him seriously, his face still burning, “Even if this doesn’t make any sense right now, definitely remember this.”

“Ah…?” Shin-ah asked, looking confused and concerned as Ao just continued to walk with him. Ao felt a tug on his hand and looked down to meet Shin-ah’s eyes. “Ao…”

“Yes?”

“Rain.” Shin-ah said pointing up to the darkening sky. Ao gave Shin-ah a smile, scooping him up and then beginning to sprint.

“I guess we’ll just have to run fast to get home!” Ao announced, and Shin-ah giggled as they made their way quickly down the street.

Ao couldn’t really ask for more.

The rain came down in sheets, pounding against the windows and the roof in an incessant drone. Eko and Shin-ah had sat themselves besides the window and Shin-ah traced the trails the rain made upon the window with his finger, as the TV droned on about the weather. Ao had been trying to let Eko out as often as he could, but he hated stinking up the house with wet dog. He was definitely thankful he had taken Eko out for his walk earlier or else they would have been in trouble.

“So what do you think about a hotpot for dinner?” Ao said bending down in front of Shin-ah. His hair was already up, and the apron was already on, which immediately made Shin-ah squirm off from where he was sitting and bounce on his heels excitedly at the prospect of dinner. “It would be really warm and good.”

“…tamogoyaki.” Shin-ah said, “Sweet.”

“Shin-ah…I can’t eat it if it’s as sweet as you like it. And besides, we can’t eat that for dinner every night.” Ao said holding up a hand in defeat. Shin-ah pouted and began to sulk. Knowing that negotiations would break down if things continued this way Ao came up with a new tactic, “I promise I’ll make you some for breakfast and pack it in the bento for tomorrow, but we’re going to have a hotpot tonight.”

“Udon?”

“I’ll put some udon in it.” Ao said, and obviously placated with that offer, Shin-ah nodded. “Do you want to help me?”

“Help?” Shin-ah asked and Ao smiled.

“Of course.” Ao said, “I’m going the chicken in the stock, but you can help me peel and cut the vegetables.”

Shin-ah nodded excitedly and Ao quickly threw the cut chicken breast into a pan with a bit of soy and salt and pepper, just to sear the outside before putting the chicken in the bubbling pot, and setting the udon noodles in a bowl of boiling water to cook off. After that was done, he brought over the nub of ginger and a spoon, showing Shin-ah how to peel the ginger and letting him handle that as he made quick work of the carrots, leaks, and mushrooms. Just as carefully, Ao cut the ginger, as soon as that was done, Shin-ah looked on proudly by Ao’s knees as he handed Ao each bowl of vegetables to place within the pot, before Ao put in the noodles and placed the lid back upon the pot.

While dinner simmered on the stove, Ao “helped” Shin-ah with his coloring books (as Shin-ah proudly directed Ao which colors to use on which flowers or figures and then Ao watched with barely concealed laughter at the furrow in Shin-ah’s brow as he oh so carefully colored within the lines). And they both spent time playing tug-of-war with Eko and Eko’s favorite piece of rope. Finally, the buzzer in the kitchen went off, and Ao served both portions, watching carefully as Shin-ah ate, being sure he blew on each spoonful. Occasionally reminding him to eat his vegetables, which the young boy did grudgingly. Eventually both their bowls were empty, and Shin-ah rubbed his hands together obviously looking pleased.

“Warm…” Shin-ah said and Ao nodded.

“Because of the ginger. I figured you would like that.” He said as he ruffled Eko’s ears. He looked out the window where the rain was still falling and sighed, “It doesn’t look like that will be letting up any time soon—“

Immediately a flash of lightning and a loud peel of thunder burst, Eko trembled next to Ao and Ao sighed about to say something but suddenly Shin-ah burst into tears.

“Woah! Shin-ah!” Ao gasped getting up too quickly and smacking his leg on the table and tripping onto the floor. But Shin-ah quickly crawled over to where Ao was in the process of sitting up as he bit back his swears, and immediately dived into his arms head first, knocking the breath out of his lungs for a moment. Ao resisted the urge to yelp, and instead patted Shin-ah’s back as he was wracked with sobs. “Hey, it’s just thunder.”

Shin-ah just shook his head and continued to cry and trembled as his little fingers curled in his shirt. Ao carefully sat the boy up on his lap, tucking Shin-ah head beneath his chin.

“I used to really be scared of thunder and lightning too.” Ao told him, gently as he rubbed his back, “So I understand. Thunder is really scary because it’s so loud, and I used to have dreams about our house flooding when I was younger.”

“…Ao did…?” Shin-ah asked uncertainly.

“I haven’t been this big forever.” Ao teased before saying, “But I’ll tell you how I stopped being afraid of thunder and lightning. I thought about how the rain helps the plants and the trees and the grass in our backyard grow, and without it all the plants would disappear. The thunder is nosy, but it won’t hurt you, and it’s an important part of the rain.”

Eko whined and placed his head on Ao’s leg, Shin-ah turned his face away from Ao’s chest, only to have Eko sit up and lick his cheek, making the young boy giggle.

“You also have Eko and me looking out for you. We’re a pretty good team so we’ll keep you safe.” Ao promised and Shin-ah rested his head against Ao’s chest.

“Love Ao.”

“Yeah. Same here.” Ao said, feeling him tense and sniff as another crack of thunder rumbled in the sky. “How about since we’re done eating dinner I get us some tea, and we can have the pudding I bought?”

“Pudding?”

“Yep. Vanilla pudding.”

Shin-ah offered him a weak smile, before Ao gathered the necessary rations. The rest of the night was uneventful as they both took their baths and then brushed their teeth and went to bed, the promise of the aquarium the next day making Shin-ah eager for sleep. And even as the thunder rolled above and the rain continued to patter against the window panes, Shin-ah didn’t cry again. And Ao took that as a small victory as he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Shin-ah always woke up when Ao got up and out of bed in the morning. Shin-ah always wanted Ao to come back, because Ao was big and warm and Shin-ah never had bad dreams when Ao was near. But instead of Ao, he was replaced with Eko, who nuzzled his face with his wet muzzle and settled next to him. And thankfully, Shin-ah could always slip back into that warm in-between place of sleep and awake without worry of nightmares.

When Ao would come to wake him up a bit later, the house would be filled with the smell of breakfast, and Ao’s cheek would be smoother. His hands were always gentle as they shook him, and sometimes Ao would smile just a little smile at him that made the sad parts in his eyes lighten into summer-sun gold.

“Come on. Time to get up for breakfast.” Ao said and Shin-ah nodded even though he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and got up with Ao to go eat breakfast. Ao always made rice and miso soup, but recently he had started to make tamagoyaki as sweet as Shin-ah had always liked it and breakfast togehter was one of Shin-ah’s favorite things because he had never eaten breakfast with anyone before and eating with Ao was fun even if neither of them had much to say. So even if sometimes he didn’t like one thing that Ao cooked, eating it was so much fun that he didn’t mind it because Ao had made it for him.

Shin-ah ate his portion of food and sipped at his tea, as Ao finished his breakfast. As soon as he was finished, Ao coaxed him up and back into the bedroom, as they both got changed before brushing their teeth. With Ao in his uniform and Shin-ah getting his shoes on, they were ready to go, and they began their walk to the daycare as usual arriving a bit early. Yuno greeted them as usual. Yuno and Ao always talked because Yuno and Ao were friends, and Shin-ah liked Yuno because she smiled and always let them play fun games and read to them in daycare. And that day Yuno was very happy to see Ao and they talked for a few moments before Ao bent down to look Shin-ah in the eye. Sometimes that made him nervous because barely ever had that been a good thing with Mama, but instead Ao just tapped the rim of Shin-ah’s favorite baseball cap.

“Be good. I’ll be back later.” Ao said and Shin-ah nodded as he watched Ao turn and leave, not being able to shake the pit in his belly. Shin-ah knew that Ao would come back, after all Ao had promised that he always would and Ao had always kept his promises, but that sight of his back disappearing around the corner was never good.

“Hey Shin-ah.” Yuno said softly, “Did Ao tell you what is coming up?”

“Up?” Shin-ah asked as Yuno motioned for him to follow her into daycare which he did.

“Ao’s birthday is on Saturday.” Yuno said, “Ao is going to be thirty-two”

“Thirty…two?” Shin-ah said, blinking. That was way more then all his fingers and toes. Ao was a lot of years old, Shin-ah thought as he marveled at the fact.

“Geun-Tae and I were planning to bring him out to dinner, and we would love for you to come with us.” Yuno said and Shin-ah bobbed his head in excitement because dinner with Ao and Yuno and Geun-Tae (even though Geun-Tae was loud and scared him sometimes because of how loud he was) sounded like a very nice thing. “And if you have any ideas about a birthday present you want to get Ao, just make sure you tell me so we can go buy it together.”

Present?

Presents were good things given to good kids by adults, at least that’s what he had always been told by his Mama. Shin-ah has never gotten any gifts before, and so when his birthday happened and Ao had gotten him new sneakers and clothes he wore every day, a hundred colored pencils, five coloring books, and a soccer ball Shin-ah had been very confused because Shin-ah wasn’t a good kid (He was slow and dumb and troublesome, not good). But Ao had said that those things were his because Ao wanted him to have them, and so Shin-ah cherished them very much. Shin-ah wanted to give Ao a gift in return on his birthday. When Shin-ah told Yuno about this, Yuno smiled.

“You should think about what Ao means to you, and then keep that in mind when you are choosing, okay?”

Shin-ah nodded before going inside, ready to begin a new day at daycare.

As more children began to come into the building, Shin-ah had sat himself by one of the tables and began to draw like usual, though his thoughts were filled with other things.

What Ao meant to him. The thought was a difficult one, but Shin-ah wanted to think more about it because it was important. When he was with Ao the food was tasty and the days were fun. Shin-ah had been having so much fun the whole time that he had never wanted it to end. Shin-ah had never known that day-to-day living could be so much fun, but now he did and it was only because of Ao that he could know what he did.

Ao was a great friend, Shin-ah thought, or cousin. Not a father (Like he had explained to Shin-ah that one time he had asked). Ao had told him that they were cousins and Shin-ah remembered because Ao had said that it was important. They played together all the time, and he never hit Shin-ah when he was mad (which Mama had done sometimes but she had always apologized so Shin-ah couldn’t stay mad at her even if it did hurt because Mama would always cry and that made Shin-ah’s belly hurt). But Ao had promised that he would always take care of Shin-ah and Ao liked to hug him, and Ao was big and warm and so Shin-ah was never cold at night, and now Shin-ah got to go to daycare and make friends like the kids on TV did and Shin-ah loved Ao. And Ao loved Shin-ah, even if he wasn’t a good boy. And they both loved Eko and Eko loved them and Shin-ah was really happy and glad he had chosen to live with Ao. Much happier than he had even been before, at least that he could remember. Mama was gone forever to the sky like the lady at that cold place Ao had picked him up from had told Shin-ah and Shin-ah missed her, but Ao was important to him and was trying very hard. Ao was stern, but kind. And Shin-ah wanted to do something for him because Ao had done so much for him.

He was thinking very hard about all these things through the morning during story time and the art activities. By the time they were allowed out to play he decided to talk about his worries with Hak and Kija, who both began to think with him.

“Granny always helps me to choose presents for my parents.” Kija explained with a smile. “She’s very good with it, and sometimes we go to the stores together and I always get them things they like.”

“Don’t have…granny.” Shin-ah said and Kija placed his hands on his hips and seemed to think on this matter.

“But Mrs. Lee is friends with Ao right? Mrs. Lee can help you pick a present if you can’t think of one so don’t be too worried, Shin-ah.” Kija told Shin-ah confidently, as Hak dribbled the ball in his hand.

“I always do tickets for Grandpa on his birthday.” Hak said and Shin-ah frowned.

“Tickets…?”

“Like one ticket for a back rub, one ticket I do my chores without complaining even though that’s annoying, another ticket I do the dishes. Grandpa always likes to boss me around so that works for him.” Hak explained with a shrug.

“That does fit you.”

“Shut up, White Snake.”

“Call me that-“

“I’ll…think about it.” Shin-ah said, breaking up their fight. Kija and Hak liked to argue, but they were good friends too so he knew not to take it seriously. Just like how Geun-Tae and Ao fought.

“Good idea! In the meantime, let’s play.” Kija said giving Shin-ah a bright smile. “I promised to show you how to spin a ball on your finger yesterday, didn’t I?”

“Yes, please, show us big brother White Snake.” Hak teased, causing Kija to chuck the ball at his head, only to be given return fire by Hak. Eventually they were all running and playing ball like they normally did, and Shin-ah was happy, he really was.

Shin-ah decided then that he would do his absolute best to make Ao’s birthday good.

Chapter Text

When Shin-ah finally managed to tell Yuno about his troubles, Yuno decided to think through the ideas of what Shin-ah could give Ao as a gift with him.

“How about this? You and I can make something for Ao together.” Yuno said with a warm smile.

“Make…?” Shin-ah asked curiously. Ao always liked Shin-ah’s drawings, he even put some of them up on the fridge and brought others to work. If he could make something else for Ao, then Shin-ah would be really happy, even if he wasn’t good at much of anything else.

“We can sculpt something out of clay, in any shape you want, and then you can paint it and give it to Ao. Ao would really, really like that, I think. Especially if you made it.” Yuno said and Shin-ah bounced on his heels excitedly.

“Want to.” Shin-ah said, tugging at Yuno’s shirt. “Want.”

“Then I’ll have to tell Ao that we’re working on a surprise for him.”

“Secret?” Shin-ah asked nervously. Ao had often said that secrets weren’t good things and that Shin-ah should tell him things if they were on his mind.

“It’ll be the best kind of secret. It’ll be a surprise, which is different than most secrets because the person to whom the surprise is given is happier because they didn’t know what we were planning.”

“Happy secret?”

“Yep! A very happy secret. You can tell Ao that we are making something for him, but don’t tell him what. That way, he’ll be surprised.” Yuno told him, “If you want, I can ask Ao if you can come over to play at my house and we can pick out things.”

Play at Yuno’s house? Geun-Tae would be there too because Geun-Tae and Yuno were married. Geun-Tae made Shin-ah nervous because he was really loud, but if Shin-ah was doing something for Ao in return for everything Ao had done for him, then it would be worth it.

“Hey.” Ao said rolling over to face him, as Shin-ah sat by Ao, watching the TV. Shin-ah looked at him curiously. Ao was always wearing sweat pants and tee-shirts if he didn’t have to go out, but today he was wearing jeans and a grey tee-shirt and a flannel and his long hair was up which meant that Ao was at least expecting something. Yuno always said that Ao was like a “lounge lizard”. Shin-ah hadn’t ever really seen any lizards except for at the zoo (Ao reminded him of a big wolf. Shin-ah had been really scared the first time they had met, but Ao was actually really nice so it had ended up working out, even if he was big and stern), but Ao did have a habit of laying around after he took his bath or after he ate, even though Shin-ah had heard from one of the men in the TV that laying down could give you a belly ache after you ate. Shin-ah had desperately tried to push Ao up because the idea of Ao in pain made Shin-ah’s belly hurt and his eyes sting, but Ao had just laughed at his efforts and told Shin-ah that he was impervious to belly aches (impervious meaning that he didn’t get them because Shin-ah hadn’t known that word and was always learning things with Ao). It was his birthday, Ao had argued, and he should be able to do as he pleased. But still he was dressed as if he expected something to happen.

It was afternoon of Ao’s birthday, and Shin-ah knew that Yuno would be coming over sometime soon to bring them to dinner. Shin-ah hadn’t been able to sleep well the night before because he had kept waking up and being more and more excited over the events that were to transpire that day, and the present that he had given Yuno to watch over for him. All he wished was to give it to Ao, and he hoped with all of his heart that he liked it.

“Yes?” Shin-ah asked as Ao reached up to pat his head.

“You’ve been working really hard.” Ao said and Shin-ah couldn’t help but nuzzle against the hand. He had always been afraid when his Mama had reached out to touch him. But Ao was always nice, and his hugs were warm and they could always make any hurt go away or ward away anything scary.

“Can’t tell.” Shin-ah said, despite very very much wanting to tell Ao what he was working on with Yuno in the hour after daycare when Yuno had told Ao to give them time. He had been sculpting and painting up a storm, after all, until he finally decided on what he would give to Ao. But Yuno had said that surprises were happy secrets that could make people and more than anything Shin-ah wanted to make Ao happy even if he was troublesome.

“I had a feeling you would say that. I’m really looking forward to it.” Ao told him honestly. “I know that Yuno has something planned for me. But I can’t imagine what you could have come up with.”

Shin-ah nodded, secretly glad that he hadn’t given away the surprise, before he leaned back against Ao’s belly and continued to watch TV because Ao was warm.

It was only a little while after that when a knock came at the door. Ao got up slowly, to pull Eko back from where he was jumping at the door and opened it to reveal Yuno and Geun-Tae. Yuno hopped up to give Ao a hug while Geun-Tae gave a solid smack to Ao’s back.

“Thirty-two, huh old timer? You’ll be needing hearing aids soon.” Geun-Tae said, causing Ao to give a grin that looked half like a glare.

“Learn to respect your elders, brat.” Ao said, giving him an elbow, before they both started laughing. Shin-ah walked up uncertainly, before Yuno bent down to give him a smile.

“How are you doing today, Shin-ah?” Yuno asked him and Shin-ah looked down at his feet for a moment.

“Good.” Shin-ah said before Yuno reached out to pat his head.

“Are you excited to get something super yummy to eat?” Yuno asked and Shin-ah nodded his head again, excitedly.

“Always about the food.” Ao chuckled, “You better not take me anywhere cheap, that’s for sure.”

“I know what you like, grumpy old bastard.” Geun-Tae said with a laugh, as Ao grabbed Shin-ah’s hand and they walked to Yuno and Geun-Tae’s car.

They drove in a car to a sushi place (Shin-ah wasn’t too used to driving but Geun-Tae had set up a car seat and he was sitting next to Ao so going fast wasn’t too scary), where Geun-Tae and Ao greeted the owner, before they all settled down to eat. Ao and Geun-Tae ordered big plates along with miso soup and rice, while Yuno just got one roll, and Shin-ah got just got the shrimp tempura because sometimes he got nervous trying new things to eat (but he would always try it if Ao offered it to him because Ao could always make sure it was tasty for him).

And Ao was laughing and talking with Geun-Tae and Yuno, and still spending time to ask Shin-ah about things. And Geun-Tae even told Shin-ah that when he was older that he wanted Shin-ah to join his dojo. Ao said back that Shin-ah would definitely need to wait until then, but Ao always smiled and looked so happy when he and Geun-Tae talked about growing up learning kendo and Shin-ah thought that if he did that when he was older that maybe Ao would smile more, and then certainly it would be worth it because Shin-ah loved Ao best when he was happy.

After they got dinner, they went to Geun-Tae and Yuno’s place for cake (that had vanilla frosting and strawberries in it just like Ao liked) and presents. Geun-Tae gave Ao something Ao told him was a carry-bag for his shinai (kendo sword, as Ao explained), as well as subscription to a magazine that had Ao turn bright red, rip it up and throw it in the trash (Ao told Shin-ah to totally forget he had seen anything but Shin-ah thought that was sort of hard to forget but he would try). Yuno bought Ao some nice dress shirts which had Ao smiling and thanking her nicely. Finally, Shin-ah feeling his belly tighten up as Yuno leaned over to whisper in his ear,

“The present you made Ao is just behind the counter in the blue bag with polka dots. Be really careful, okay?” Yuno said and Shin-ah got up and slowly looked behind the counter where the bag sat waiting. Shin-ah very very carefully walked over to Ao and held up the bag, and for a moment Shin-ah couldn’t tell what Ao was thinking before he carefully took the bag from Shin-ah.

“You got me something?” Ao asked sounding confused.

“Shin-ah worked very hard to make something for you.” Yuno said giving Shin-ah a hug from behind. Yuno was nice and warm but he was really nervous because suddenly he couldn’t help but think that maybe Ao wouldn’t like his present and he was so worried as Ao carefully took out the paper and then pulled out his gift.

“Is this Eko?” Ao asked sounding amazed at the statue which sat in his hands.

“Shin-ah and I worked to sculpt it, and then he painted it almost all by himself. He’s really got an eye.” Yuno said and suddenly Ao’s face broke out into a huge smile and then he turned to give Shin-ah a hug.

“It’s great, Shin-ah.” Ao said, and his eyes were so happy. “Thank you. This is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever gotten.”

Shin-ah just buried his head against Ao’s shirt.

Geun-Tae and Yuno had offered to drive them back, but Ao had told them not to bother, they only lived ten minutes away and he wanted to walk. Shin-ah had tried but he had gotten so tired, so instead of walking Ao began to carry Shin-ah on his back, his hands beneath Shin-ah’s knees, his presents dangling on his arm. Shin-ah’s eyes felt so heavy and the movement of Ao walking had almost put Shin-ah to sleep when Ao said,

“Are you still awake?”

Shin-ah murmured, or at least tried to say yes, but it didn’t matter because Ao continued to talk anyway.

“Today was a good day.” Ao said, “I’m really grateful. I count this as one of my favorite birthdays.”

“…Ao?” Shin-ah asked, and he couldn’t quite see his face, but Shin-ah could almost imagine a smile.

“I wonder…if this is what being a Dad is like.” Ao said but by the way he talked Shin-ah thought he was talking to himself.

“Dad?”

“Yeah. I don’t know. I was just thinking that.” Ao murmured. “That this must be what being a Dad is. It’s new, I guess.”

“Want…be dad?” Shin-ah asked, thinking of Ao like the families on the TV with a Mommy and Daddy and the happy kids. Would he have any place there? If Ao wanted him to leave, even if it was breaking his promise, Shin-ah would be happy to go even if he would miss Ao because Ao had given him everything.

“If it’s for you…yeah.” Ao said, “What do you think? Seiryuu Shin-ah has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

“Love Ao.” Shin-ah whispered clutching to him because Shin-ah did. He loved Ao so much. And everything was fuzzy in his head and he was sleepy, and he hoped he could just stay there forever.

“…I love you too.” Ao replied softly.

And so Ao continued to walk them home, and Shin-ah fell asleep, feeling loved more than ever.

Chapter Text

It was a regular day at work, and Ao was grateful. He had dropped Shin-ah off at daycare on time, and was doing his regular paperwork, half-thinking about what he was going to make for dinner that night with the leftovers in the fridge. But most importantly, with that little statue on his desk, the flask that he had stashed in his desk felt like a relic of a different time entirely. Ao felt good, and he was happy about that.

“Ao, we got a report about a child who’s been sitting in the park for a few hours now. The caller was concerned about his safety. Think you can handle it?” His captain called, breaking Ao from his revelry and Ao gave a wave.

“Got it.”

And so Ao drove the car to the park around the corner, and scanned the nearly empty area for the child in question, finding that it wasn’t too hard to spot him (since it was a school day and the middle of the work day). The boy was small for his age, with hair kept back in a ponytail and covering a portion of his face. He wore an elementary school uniform, with his cap deposited on the ground nearby as he gently swung himself back and forth, making the swing set creek in a comforting rhythm. He was obviously sulking, a pout pronounced upon his obviously proud features. But when he looked up to meet his eyes, Ao saw a certain depth of sadness there that shouldn’t belong to any child.

“Are you here to arrest me?” The kid asked and Ao sighed.

“I don’t see you doing anything illegal. Are you?”

“No.”

“Alright. Then I have no reason to arrest you. But someone did call in and say there was a boy here who had been sitting on a swing for hours. You should be at school.” Ao said before bending down before the boy. “What’s your name?”

“Jaeha.”

“Did you run away?”

“…I don’t got any home.” The boy said petulantly and Ao just tried to remain soothing.

“Was there any reason why you don’t have a home?”

“I lived with my brother because my parents didn’t like us.” Jaeha said sharply, “And then my brother gave me over to this damn old lady who likes to nag me. If I’m just going to be passed around then I’d rather be alone.”

“And why did he do that?”

“Because he said he couldn’t take care of me anymore.” Jaeha said, “Adults all like to lie. I know it’s just because he didn’t want me around. This lady is going to be the same. She’s going to get whatever she wants out of me then pass me along.”

“Was there any reason why your brother couldn’t take care of you anymore?” Ao asked him and Jaeha just continued to glare at the ground.

“He didn’t tell me. No one ever tells me anything.”

“Well I imagine that he’s just as hurt as you are about it. I imagine that he cried a lot and that even right now he’s thinking of you.”

“Garou told me that men don’t cry.”

“That’s a lie.” Ao said firmly, “Everyone cries. Some people just hide it better.”

“Even you?”

“Yeah.” Ao admitted, “More often than I would like.”

“Well if Garou didn’t want to leave me with the old lady, then why did he?”

“I don’t know the exact answer to your question. But sometimes, we have to do things for the people we love, even if it hurts us or the other person. That’s what happens when you care about someone deeply. Being responsible is about making those kinds of unpleasant decisions.” Ao told the kid, “And I’m sure that lady that is taking care of you now, I bet she nags you because she’s worried about you and cares for you.”

“How do you know that?” Jaeha asked suspiciously and Ao just gave him a smile.

“It’s a wild guess, but I have a feeling that I’m correct. You seem like a good kid, so I doubt that there is anyone who could dislike you.”

“Are you dumb?”

“No, and I don’t think you are either.” Ao said before suddenly his radio fuzzed and his station began speaking. Ao clicked on his radio, answered back, before standing up and brushing off his pants. “That old lady just came into the police station looking for you, so I guess I was right. Will you come with me?”

“She’ll be mad at me.”

“She might, but you still need to go. If you apologize to her, I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”

The boy hopped off the swing and dejectedly followed Ao back to his car, dragging his feet. The trip back to the station was a quiet one, the boy continued to look out the window as if he was desperately trying to forget where he was or what he was doing. When they got back to the station, Jaeha walked in, and Ao immediately saw the older woman he knew Jaeha had been referring too. She was tall and wiry, wearing a purple dress with a grey shawl over her shoulders. Jaeha looked away from her authoritative look and obviously squirmed as she looked up at Ao.

“Thank you for bringing him back.” She said, “My name is Gigan, I own the fish market in town.”

“It’s a pleasure. I’m Officer Seiryuu Ao.”

“If there is anything you ever need, just come down to see me.” The older woman said before looking to Jaeha. “You skipped school, and near gave me a heart attack. What were you thinking wandering around all day? How was I supposed to know if something had happened or not?”

Jaeha at that point was pale and nearly sweating.

“I…I’m sorry.” Jaeha said clenching his fists and looking down before squeezing his eyes shut tight. “I’m sorry, Gigan.”

For a moment Gigan didn’t do anything, but then reached out to gently pat Jaeha’s head.

“I’m going to add on more chores for this week as punishment.” Gigan warned him. “And I’ll have no more rebellious behavior from you, do you understand?”

“That’s it?” Jaeha asked and Gigan gave him a flick on the nose.

“It looks like you learned a valuable lesson today. After all, this is the first apology you’ve given me of your free will. I’ll take that as a victory.” Gigan said before offering her hand, “Come on, let’s go home.”

Ao watched as Gigan led Jaeha off, and couldn’t help but smile.

Ao went to go pick up Shin-ah as usual from daycare, however when he got there for some reason Yuno wouldn’t stop giggling. Sensing that perhaps the end was upon him, Ao made his way out to the playground to pick up Shin-ah hesitantly. Shin-ah saw him and began walking forward, with a cat following close behind. The cat was a rather large creature with grey fur, and bright blue eyes. Shin-ah bent down to try to pick up the cat with all of his strength (well, mostly just the cat’s upper body), and as he did so the cat nuzzled his face.

“Keep.” Shin-ah said firmly. The cat meowed in response and Ao felt his whole face twitch.

“Shin-ah, where did you find this cat?” Ao asked as Shin-ah put down the cat, who seemed content to groom itself.

“Playground.”

“We have to take it to the vet to find out if it has an owner.” Ao said with a sigh, and Shin-ah frowned in response.

“I want.”

“I know. But let’s bring the cat to the vet. There might be an owner who is looking for it.” Ao tried to reason with the three-year old, as he bent down to scoop up the cat in his arms.

“Want.” Shin-ah said stubbornly, as he hopped up to try to reach his new furry friend, and then pull on Ao’s shirt, “Friends!”

The cat in Ao’s arms seemingly meowed in agreement with Shin-ah, but didn’’t bother trying to move from Ao’s arms where it was apparently making itself comfortable.

“We are taking the cat to the vet.” Ao told Shin-ah as he shook his head, “And I swear I am not adding another living being to my household that I need to take care of!”

“Friends!” Shin-ah tried to remind Ao aa he looked up at Ao with pleading eyes and Ao resisted the urge to bash his head into a nearby tree because Goddamnit he knew how this was all going to end because the cat was cute and even though he didn’t want to now he had the cat looking at him with big, blue eyes, and Shin-ah looking at him and he didn’t want to, but he just went ahead and stuck his foot into his mouth anyways.

“If she doesn’t have an owner, then maybe, maybe.” Ao warned, “But Eko has to approve first, okay?”

Shin-ah smiled brightly at Ao, as Ao awkwardly placed the cat into the bag by his side (the cat popping it’s head out and meowing but not making any move to escape), and when Ao offered his hand Shin-ah took it.

Ao, you are a giant sucker. Ao told himself, shaking his head as they began to walk to the vet and Shin-ah excitedly rambled on about the cat.

Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to mind.

Chapter Text

“So it’s been the ten day limit and no one has claimed the cat you brought to our office.” The vet said over the phone, “If you were still considering adopting her, then we would be happy to work it out with you.”

“…is she in good shape?”

“Very good shape. Just needed some shots and to be spayed.”

“How about with other animals? And little kids?”

“She’s passed all of our behavior exams.” The vet explained while Ao just rubbed his chin. It was a rare day when Shin-ah ever asked for anything, or cried, or threw a temper tantrum. But after dropping the cat off at the vet, Shin-ah had been inconsolable for hours and saddened for days. Ao knew for a fact that friendship and companionship was something utterly precious for Shin-ah, and Ao knew it had to be rooted in some past abandonment he had suffered through. But if Shin-ah never opened up to him about it, that was fine. After all, he was so small Ao doubted he would even have the words. As long as Ao could make him happy and keep those too real worries from his mind, Ao would be fine with that. (After all, Ao wasn’t a fool. He knew that sometimes there were things that couldn’t be avoided. But if he could just try his best, then that would certainly be enough.)

“How much will it cost? And can I pay with a check?” Ao asked with a sigh, pulling out his checkbook.

On the next day, after daycare he didn’t tell Shin-ah where they were going. However when they got to the vet’s Shin-ah looked at Ao in confusion.

“We’re going to go get your friend and bring her home.” Ao told him and Shin-ah’s face broke out into a huge smile.

“Get…friend? Really, Ao?” Shin-ah asked, tugging on his shirt as he bounced on his heels. Ao bent down to look at Shin-ah right in the eyes. The boy visibly became nervous and avoided his gaze, as Shin-ah had a tendency of doing, and attempted to grip the rim of his baseball cap and pull it down. Ao caught his hand and instead held his gaze steady until Shin-ah looked back at him.

“We are going to have a new family member, okay? That means we have to take care of her.”

“On…walks? Like Eko?” Shin-ah asked, and Ao resisted the urge to facepalm.

“No, cats and dogs are a bit different. I don’t know how you would convince a cat to walk on a leash.” Ao told Shin-ah, “But you will need to play with her and give her plenty of attention, okay?”

“I promise, Ao!” Shin-ah said firmly, “Promise.”

Ao walked in and explained the situation to the lady at the front desk, before she smiled and led them to where they kept the cats. The cat Shin-ah had found at daycare immediately meowed and rubbed up against the cage as one of the workers helped Shin-ah get her into a carrier. Shin-ah was whispering things to her, promising to play with her every day and that they would be the greatest of friends. By the time Ao got to the front desk and began to sign the paper work, the veterinarian gave Ao a smile.

“What are you planning on naming her?” He asked, tapping the line where the pet’s name was supposed to go.

“Shin-ah.” Ao said looking at the boy who was anxiously staring up at the carrier on the counter. Shin-ah’s gaze shifted to meet his. “Do you have any name you want to give to her?”

“Name…?” Shin-ah asked, before scrunching his face obviously deep in thought. “Megi.”

“What part of the cat reminds you of a fish?” Ao asked the boy who just looked up at him.

“Whiskers.” Shin-ah said, as if it was exceedingly obvious.

“Right. Well, then. Megi it is.” Ao said, writing in the newly christened Megi’s name into the blank space on the form. Ao slid them the check, they thanked him for adopting, and then Ao held out his hand for the small boy. “Come on then. We’ll have to make a stop by the pet store tomorrow. I’ve already bought some stuff that’s at the house, but I’ll let you pick out some toys for her.”

“Ao, thank you.” Shin-ah said, nearly vibrating with excitement. He looked just as happy as he always did when they went to the park to play with Eko, or when Ao made him his favorite meals. “Thank you, thank you!”

“Well, don’t get too excited. We do need to take care of her.” Ao tried to remind the boy, unable to keep the edges of his own mouth from lifting up. “It’s not going to be all fun and games, you know.”

“I know.” Shin-ah chirped, and in response the cat meowed from the carrier as they walked down the street. “Ao…I want to be…that.”

“What?”

“Veterin…verneran…”

“You mean a veterinarian? Can you repeat that after me? Veterinarian?” Ao said making sure to sound each syllable out slowly. Shin-ah seemingly furrowed his brow before copying in the movement of Ao’s lips with his own.

“Veterin…arian.”

“Almost. All together. Veterinarian.”

“Veterinarian.” Shin-ah repeated, beaming as he knew he had gotten the word correct.

“Good job, Shin-ah. You want to be a veterinarian when you grow up?” Ao asked the boy who looked to him, his eyes sparkling in the light, wide and excited.

“Be friends…with all the animals.” Shin-ah explained as he kicked a rock on the side walk. “Help…like Ao helps people.”

Ao’s heart was squeezing so tightly at that moment. Ao suddenly felt like he was on the verge of tears, even though he had no need to be. I’m not that great. He wanted to tell the boy, who was looking up at him like he was the sun, as if Ao had glued his universe back together with cardboard and scotch tape. I’m just selfish, because I would do anything to make you happy. You are giving me so much and I’ll never be able to repay you.

But he kept those thoughts to himself, and so Ao and Shin-ah brought their new family member home.

Eko was mystified by the new member of the household who was certainly not a dog, but definitely not a human either. Megi, unlike Eko, didn’t seem too particularly bothered by the dog, and spent most of the afternoon and evening roaming around her new home, finding places to climb up, and settling herself down exactly in front of the TV Ao was trying to watch. Apparently, as Ao learned, Megi also had quite an attitude. But she butted against Shin-ah and attempted to groom him, and Shin-ah was nearly blissful over the attention of Megi as Eko laid himself down by Ao’s side, so he figured he could forgive her for that. His house was just getting more and more lively by the day, and Ao couldn’t say that he really minded.

Ao was really starting to get into the habit of picking up strays, Ao thought as Shin-ah sat himself down on his lap the next morning after breakfast, as Ao flipped the TV to see what the weather was going to be. Ao was probably also getting into a habit of spoiling all those strays he picked up, Ao mused, but no way in hell was he ever going to admit that to anyone but himself. At that moment, a knock came at the door.

“Hey Ao!” Geun-Tae’s voice came, and Ao shouted back,

“Come in!”

Geun-Tae came in and rolled his eyes as Megi meowed from where she was settled on the table.

“Another animal, old man?” Geun-Tae asked, “Where did you pick that one up?”

“Oh you shut up.” Ao said waving him away. “What is it?”

“I was wondering if you could help out at the dojo today.” Geun-Tae said, “I’ve got to whip some kids into shape. Yuno would be happy to hang out with Shin-ah.”

“What do you think, Shin-ah? Want to go see Yuno?” Ao asked the boy, who looked up at him and nodded. Ao shooed Shin-ah off his lap and stood up and stretched.

Having an everyday life like his was really a blessing, Ao thought as he put on his shoes.

Chapter Text

He was sitting in a room with a nice chair as the doctor scribbled some things down. Some dumb ambient music was playing, and he couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed by it. As if somehow birds chirping and water running would make spilling his guts any nicer.

“Have you been drinking at all?”

“Not once.” Ao said before scowling and rubbing out his twitching fingers.

“And how is your general health?” His psychiatrist asked and Ao tried not to snap at her. “I know you said you had a doctor’s appointment. You also mentioned that you hadn’t been to the doctor in ten odd years.”

“He said I’ve got neuropathy.”

“Pins and needles?” His psychiatrist asked, “In your fingers?”

“Yeah.” Ao said before feeling himself squirm. “And…well…”

“Yes?”

“I’m impotent.” Ao said before releasing a bitter laugh, “But I didn’t need the doctor to tell me that, trust me, I already knew.”

“ED?” His psychiatrist asked and Ao snorted.

“I didn’t know the fancy name, but yeah. I can’t get it up. Like I said, I already knew that. I got enough grief from it.”

“Grief? When?”

Realizing he had just put his foot in his mouth Ao for a moment tried to wrack his brain for anyway out of that conversation before simply giving up. His shoulders dropped and he heaved a heavy sigh.

“My last relationship.” Ao said gruffly, “We almost got married, you know? She wanted a kid, but obviously I had a rough time…you know.”

“And what did you want?”

“Nothing in particular. I didn’t have any strong feelings either way.” Ao snapped back before sighing again, “In any case, she found herself someone better than I could ever be who could give her what she wanted. We had our issues, okay? But she’s a great woman and I’m happy for her.”

“I have a very hard time imagining you had no strong feelings, especially considering you have a child now.”

“He’s…he’s not—“

“He is as much your son as you are his father. You just stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that.”

“Stop doing that…psychiatrist thing with my head.”

“I am your psychiatrist.”

Ao huffed and ran a hand through his hair, stubbornly clenching his jaw and refusing to budge. His psychiatrist obviously figuring it was better to talk about something else at that point, because they were drifting into dangerous territory, so instead she shifted the conversation into a different direction,

“So how is Shin-ah?” She asked and Ao blinked for a moment.

“He’s good.” Ao said, “He told me he wants to be a veterinarian when he grows up.”

“That’s wonderful. He loves animals then?”

“I think he feels safer with animals than people. With strangers it’s very much…touch and go you know? But with animals it’s like he lights up. He has an easier time talking to them as well.”

“He lights up when you are around too.” His psychiatrist said and Ao couldn’t help but flush. “You know, anyone can tell how important he is to you. How much you are trying for him. I wish more people put in the kind of effort you are to parenting, to getting healthy and clean, then this world would be a better place.”

“It’s not like that.” Ao tried to explain, “It’s just…it’s way more selfish than that.”

“And there is nothing wrong with being a little selfish, especially considering how hard you have been trying for others for so long. If he makes you happy, and doing things for him makes you happy, then I say, why not? I think it’s the greatest excuse of all.”

Ao didn’t say anything, but instead just looked out the window.

“Ao!” Gi-Min called as he exited his expensive looking car.

“You’re dressed normally today.” Ao stated and Gi-Min almost looked wounded, looking down at his dress shirt and pants. Ao was, as always, dressed down when he wasn’t in uniform. A plaid shirt, tee-shirt, and jeans, his hair tied up and he felt entirely out of place next to Gi-Min. Ao liked Gi-Min, despite his nearly overwhelming eagerness, but sometimes just looking at him made him exhausted.

“You are so blunt!” Gi-Min said with a sigh before giving him a smile, “My wife says hello, by the way. She was wondering when we would see Shin-ah back over for another playdate.”

“Next weekend’s free with us.” Ao stated as he watched both Kija and Shin-ah walking over, Kija’s hand grasping Shin-ah’s. Kija gave his father a smile,

“You are here to pick me up, Father?” Kija asked and Gi-Min nodded, his expression taking on more discipline.

“I am. You have tutoring and I need to review with your teacher. I expect you were good today?”

“Of course!” Kija said proudly, his chest puffed out before looking to Shin-ah, “Have a good night.”

“Bye-bye.” Shin-ah said softly with a little wave, as Ao and Gi-Min exchanged farewells. As soon as Kija and Gi-Min were on their way, Shin-ah looked up at him and grasped his hand.

“How about going to the grocery story?” Ao asked him, “I haven’t decided what we are doing for dinner yet.”

Shin-ah nodded excitedly as Ao gripped his fingers back and they made their way to the grocery store, Shin-ah nearly skipping beside him, hoping over the cracks in the side walk. He spoke in broken intervals about his day, as they got to the grocery store. Ao pulled up a cart and Shin-ah walked beside him, shyly holding onto his pant leg as he stayed close and eyed the others in the grocery store warily. It was a huge improvement, for the first time they had been to the grocery store Shin-ah had been so overwhelmed he had begun to cry. But as long as Ao offered him encouragement and kept him focused on retrieving things from the shelves or spelling out food names then normally Shin-ah was fine.

“What do you think you want for dinner?” Ao asked as he took a carton of eggs from the refrigerated section.

“Ramen.” Shin-ah answered suddenly and Ao couldn’t help but give him a look.

“…ramen?”

“Ramen.” Shin-ah said before pointing to a whole stack of instant noodles. “On TV.”

“Instant ramen isn’t good for you.” Ao tried to explain before sighing. “I can make you homemade udon.”

“Udon?” Shin-ah said before perking up, “Kitsune udon?”

“You’ve had that before?”

Shin-ah shook his head before answering Ao’s obvious confusion,

“On TV.”

“…do you want to try it?”

Shin-ah bobbed his head in confirmation, following Ao into the aisle in order to get the appropriate vegetables and tofu, before heading to the checkout. With the bag of groceries in one hand and Shin-ah’s in the other they began to make their way home. Shin-ah chattered on about drawing and animals and Ao was making sure they were turning down the correct street before Shin-ah suddenly asked,

“How was…Ao’s day?”

“My day?” Ao asked taken aback by the question and by the very clear curiosity in Shin-ah’s eyes. “Well…I had work and then I…went to go see a doctor.”

“Ao’s sick.” Shin-ah said obviously concerned, “Tummy hurt? Head?”

“Ah…it’s a little different than that.” Ao tried to explain before giving a sigh, trying to figure out how to explain this to a child. “Sometimes, I don’t have good feelings. I have bad ones.”

“Bad feelings?”

“Yeah.” Ao said as he tried his best to be honest while sparing the gritty details, “You see, sometimes when I have those bad feelings I do bad things. Do you understand?”

“Like…on the playground…if someone takes someone else’s blocks…they hit them?” Shin-ah said as he obviously tried to understand this concept, “Miss Yuno…said that’s naughty and mean.”

“Yeah. Yeah it’s a lot like that.” Ao explained, “When I have bad feelings I do things that aren’t good for me. So I go to a doctor who can help me.”

“Ao…feeling better?” Shin-ah asked anxiously and Ao patted his head as they just reached the door to their house. “Ao won’t…say goodbye? Not like Mama?”

“I am a lot better.” Ao told Shin-ah, placing down the bag for a moment and kneeling down to grasp Shin-ah’s hands. “And I’m definitely far more stubborn than that you brat. You won’t be getting rid of me just yet.”

“Ao.” Shin-ah said very seriously suddenly leaning forward to grab Ao’s face. Before Ao could do anything Shin-ah conked their foreheads together. Ao fell backwards, carrying Shin-ah with him who grabbed his now, reddened forehead and crouched on the ground trembling.

“What the…what was that for?!” Ao asked bewildered as he rubbed his aching head and sat up Shin-ah looked up with a watery expression, his baseball cap strewn beside him.

“For…sick. Get better?” Shin-ah asked, seemingly just as confused.

“Were you trying to take my temperature?” Ao asked before saying in concern, “That is definitely not how that works! Head-butting people definitely will make them worse. Please do not tell me you learned that from the TV.”

Shin-ah didn’t answer, causing Ao to groan because that obviously had been the case. He stood up, grasping the bags and picking up the boy.

“Want Ao to…get better.” Shin-ah explained as he awkwardly opened the door, only to be met by excited barking and the cat sitting on the table. Ao shooed off Megi and placed down both the groceries and the boy.

“Shin-ah.” Ao said, ruffling his hair. “I want you to know something important. I’ll always be around when you need me, alright? I’m not going anywhere. And what you can do in return for me is very simple.”

“What?” Shin-ah asked anxiously and Ao smiled.

“I want you to have as much fun as possible, make many great friends, eat as much good food as you want, try your hardest in school and in everything else you enjoy, and get as many good night’s sleep as you can. If you do that, then I’m sure you’ll grow up to be a great man.” Ao told him plainly and Shin-ah nodded.

“I will!” Shin-ah said as he reached to hug Ao, and Ao returned the embrace. “Love Ao.”

“I love you too.” Ao said kissing the redness on Shin-ah’s forehead, holding him securely before pulling away, “How about we make dinner?”

Shin-ah smiled, and Ao thought that was truly the greatest thing of all.

Chapter Text

Ao couldn’t help but make a face at the blanket of snow that was now spread out over the streets. Winter was out in full force now, and Ao tried to avoid going out when he could. Mostly because, Ao hated the cold with a vengeance, mostly because he was weak to it, and hated the pins and needles he got in his fingers, and the stinging cheeks. But he desperately, at least, needed to walk around the corner to the convenience store to buy some rations for dinner.

“Eko, wanna go for a walk?” Ao called, and the dog, who had been previously been staring longingly at the door hopped with an excited whine at the idea. Ao turned to Shin-ah who was curled up with Megi by the TV under the kotatsu. “Shin-ah, we’re going to the store. I’ll buy you whatever you wish okay?”

Shin-ah looked at him with wide eyes, as Ao began to put on his boots. Ao looked back before moving his head.

“Come on than, get your shoes on.”

Shin-ah slowly teetered over to where his snow boots were, laboriously putting on one then the other. Ao then quickly pulled Shin-ah coat from the wrack, placed on his trapper hat, and the scarf Yuno had knitted for him, before handing him his mittens. Ao just put on his jacket and (matching, because Yuno thought it was hilarious) scarf, before opening the door as he slipped on Eko’s collar. A little gust of wind knocked snowflakes into the house, and then suddenly a wail came from Shin-ah, so sharply that Megi bounded off the Kotatsu, and Eko yanked Ao back into the house and Ao fell backwards with a thump. Ao recovered, closing the door with his foot as he saw Shin-ah bent over, sobbing desperate, fat tears.

“Shin-ah, what? What?” Ao asked flustered and Shin-ah shook his head desperately.

“No cold! No!” He was sobbing, “No, no, no! It hurts!”

“Hurts?” Ao asked, and Shin-ah just continued to sob.

“Bite my nose!”

“You mean…” Ao said before blinking and smacking his head on his forehead, “No Shin-ah! That’s just a saying. Jack Frost isn’t literally going to bite your nose! It just means that your nose is going to get cold.”

“Ao, no cold.” Shin-ah was begging and Ao sighed and reached over to pull up Shin-ah’s scarf to nearly up his eyes.

“There you go. You are safe now.” Ao said before looking at Shin-ah seriously, “Now. Do you think I would let someone bite your nose? Me?”

Shin-ah shook his head.

“Right. I’d punch anyone who would try to do that.” Ao said seriously. “Right in the mouth.”

“Yuno…said we shouldn’t fight.”

“I’d fight the storm if it tried to pick on you, and I’d win. Do you think some stupid old cold is gonna beat me?” Ao asked him and Shin-ah shook his head more meaningfully. “Alright, now, let’s go beat Old Man Winter at his own game. Are you ready for battle?”

Shin-ah got up (barely, with all his layers), before hopping on his heels.

“Alright! To the convenience store!”

And so Eko got his walk, Ao got his eggs and milk, Shin-ah got his onigiri, and they both got their warm teas. But most importantly they defeated winter that day (until the next storm brought forth another battle).

Chapter Text

It was after Ao had picked up Shin-ah from daycare, gone to the park with him, and then made the trip home that Ao walked back to his house only to find the door unlocked. Knowing that if it had been an intruder, Eko might have already scared them off, Ao opened the door with Shin-ah grasping his leg tightly. He was instead greeted by the sight of a riot of blue hair just like his own, sticking up out of the intruder’s head, amber eyes that widened at the sight as his mouth dropped open in shock. The young man just pointed at Shin-ah from where he sat, a bag of Ao’s chips open on his lap, crumbs on his face, the traitorous Eko sitting by his side as he pointed at Shin-ah and suddenly said,

“You divided.”

“Like hell I divided you dumbass! What are you doing in my house?!” Ao demanded only to have his pant leg tugged and Shin-ah look up at him seriously.

“Bad Ao…no swearing.” Shin-ah said in the slow but meaningful way he always did as he took off his backpack and baseball cap and arranged his shoes orderly. Ao’s cousin, Haru, just gave Ao a large grin at the response. Haru hadn’t changed much since the last time he had saw him, about a year ago, but Ao had thought he was still studying at the university in the neighboring town. Why he would show up in Ao’s house was beyond a mystery to him.

“Yeah, Bad Ao. No swearing.” Haru agreed in a taunting voice and Ao felt like his ears had to be blowing out steam at that point.

“No one asked you to volunteer your opinion! What are you doing here?” Ao said as he threw his hands up in the air.

“I broke up with my girlfriend.” Haru explained before clapping his hands together, “Please, let me crash here for a few nights.”

Ao immediately looked to Shin-ah who had taken to hiding shyly behind Ao. He was peeking out from behind Ao at Haru, and when Haru tried to wave, Shin-ah ducked back behind Ao and clutched his pants tighter.

“Shin-ah, remember how I told you that I am your cousin?” Ao said bending down and Shin-ah nodded and chewed on his sleeves. “Well, Haru is my cousin and your cousin as well.”

“Cousin?” Haru asked confused, as he appeared to study Shin-ah who under the scrutiny quickly pressed his face against Ao’s leg.

“He’s Ran’s kid.”

“Aozora?” Haru asked surprised, “I did hear she passed away. You took custody of her kid then? Oh man, and here I was thinking by some miracle you had finally gotten laid man.”

“Are you just asking me to punch you in the face because that’s what it sounds like you son of a—“

“Family…?” Shin-ah asked softly as he absorbed the information and Ao just turned back to look at him.

“Yeah. He’s our family. If you can believe it from the dumb look on his face.”

“Hey! I’m getting through university!” Haru argued crossing his arms over his chest dramatically.

“By being a host. I bet that’s why your girlfriend broke up with you. You didn’t tell her.” Ao said as he skootched Shin-ah forward.

“I’ve got to make money somehow!” Haru protested with a sigh, “And I did tell her…it’s just…you know, she got jealous.”

“Right.” Ao said snatching his chips away from Haru. “So how long are you staying?”

“I’ve got a little money saved up, I just need to get my living situation squared away again.” Haru said as he scratched Megi’s chin before reaching out his hand to Shin-ah. Shin-ah shyly looked away and tried to hide away but Ao just patted his head reassuringly. “It’s really nice to meet you, Shin-ah.”

Shin-ah with tiny shaking fingers reached to grasp Haru’s fingers before immediately nearly diving into Ao’s arm and lap, and hiding in Ao’s shirt. And well…considering it was the first time they met, was a pretty good reaction on his part.

“Come on, Shin-ah. He’ll be staying with us, and I’ve known him since I was a kid. You don’t need to be scared.”

“I used to be really shy too, I get it. No hard feelings.” Haru promised, before Ao just said with a deadpanned expression,

“What are you making for dinner?”

“Me?” Haru asked as Ao stared right back at him.

“You are freeloading in my house. I’ll at least have you cook.” Ao told him bluntly and Haru just sighed.

“Okay, that’s fair.” Haru said, brushing off his pant legs. “I hope you guys are feeling like stir-fry tonight.”

“You don’t have any beer in the house.” Haru said a bit later, after Shin-ah was put to sleep with Eko in the room. Ao was sitting on the porch outside, and Haru handed Ao a soda which Ao cracked open and took a sip from as Haru sat beside him. For a few moments Ao tried to think of a way he could answer the obviously loaded statement before just sighing.

“I quit.”

“Drinking?” Haru asked before breathing out harshly, “Shit man. Cold turkey?”

“Yeah. It didn’t feel right to be drinking with someone depending on me.” Ao explained with a shrug, “So…I know you were closer to Ran’s side of the family then I was. Do you know anything?”

“Hmmm,” Haru said, clinking the soda can with his teeth, “I dunno. She sort of went off the grid a few years ago.”

“I see,” Ao said and Haru pulled out a box of cigarettes, taking one into his mouth. Ao immediately snatched it out of his mouth. “Now this shit will kill you.”

“Seiryuus and their bad habits.” Haru explained with a shrug.

“If you kicked that habit it might be easier to pay for university.” Ao said gruffly as Haru took the cigarette pinched within his fingers.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Haru asked as he lit up, blowing out circles of smoke. “I saw her the other day.”

“Who?” Ao asked, feigning innocence.

“You know who,” Haru said with a roll of his eyes.

“…how is she?” Ao asked knowing that the curiosity was most likely bad for him. After all, he had promised himself to keep her out of his thoughts as long as he could.

“I dunno, man. Maybe you should ask her. I know you still have her number.”

“I ruined what we had. It’s best for us to stay…separate,” Ao murmured. “Besides, honestly, I’m happy right now with how things are. No need to introduce unnecessary drama into my life when things have finally felt like they’ve settled again.”

“You do seem a lot happier,” Haru admits. “And I’m so happy about that. You deserve it, Ao. Really. I can tell how much you love that kid. It’s sort of cute. I didn’t know you had such a cute side to you.”

“If you keep saying such mushy and unnecessary things, I am going to throw up and then proceed to break your nose,” Ao warned Haru seriously and Haru put up his hands in surrender.

“I got it, I got it. No messing with Papa Ao.”

“I swear to fucking god you call me that again and your pretty face will be broken.”

“Then I’ll just have to crash on your couch forever.”

“Yeah fucking right good luck with that,” Ao said before looking to him. “Well, tell me how school is going. You might as well because if we stay on this topic my fists might have a mind of their own.”

Haru tried to stifle his smile and laughter, but did begin to talk.

“Haru…is sleeping?” Shin-ah asked as they began to walk to daycare the next day.

“Yeah, I would need real luck to try to get that bum up before ten,” Ao explained before looking to Shin-ah as they walked down the quiet morning streets, the birds chirping and squirrels hopping along the fences, “Does having him stay with us bother you? I know you still aren’t used to him.”

“Haru…is family. Like Ao.” Shin-ah explained before looking up at Ao, “Ao…happy?”

“Happy? About Haru staying with us. Ha! Yeah, no. I want him to get his own apartment.”

Shin-ah just shook his head adamantly.

“Haru said…Ao looked happy.” Shin-ah said slowly, meeting Ao’s eyes with his own.

“You shouldn’t listen to other people’s conversations. That’s call eavesdropping,” Ao said before running a hand through his hair. Unsure of how to answer the obviously loaded question, Ao instead decided to ask in return, “Listen, Shin-ah, are you happy living with me?”

Shin-ah’s immediate answer was to bob his head in agreement.

“Love Ao!” Shin-ah chirped immediately and Ao tried to hide his flush.

“Yes, yes.” Ao said trying to shake out his head. “Now listen, you know how your last name is Aozora?”

“Yes…”

“How would you feel, about changing it to Seiryuu? Like me?” Ao asked him seriously. “It’s okay if you don’t know you feel right now, but I want you to think about it seriously.”

“Last name…?”

“Well…I would legally adopt you.” Ao explained, as he rubbed his chin, “So instead of being cousins, I would be your father.”

“But…Ao is first cousin…?”

“No, I would still be your first cousin. But also your father.” Ao tried to explain before shaking his head, “In any case, I’ll ask you again when you get a little older. But I do want you to know that I’m very happy right now. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. And it makes me happy to spend time with you.”

“Okay.” Shin-ah said before squeezing Ao’s fingers. Still feeling like his cheeks were annoyingly warm, Ao squeezed back. Really, Ao thought, what a pain.

Chapter Text

Spectrophobia: Fear of Ghosts

As much as Ao liked to complain, Haru was a pretty good roommate. For a house-crasher Ao found him to be well-mannered and downright thoughtful. Haru was always willing to do the laundry when he found it, or the dishes, or the cleaning. And the fact that he could sleep right through Ao and Shin-ah hectic mornings and still get to school and work was an impressive feat which also meant that he never complained about being awoken. So, Ao had invited Haru to stay at his house (knowing that if he kicked him out Haru would end up couch hopping with a bunch of the girls who visited the Host Club he worked at and that was never a good idea), as Haru waited for the apartment he was hoping to get to be prepared for him to move in as soon as the couple that was previously living in it moved out. So for that moment, Ao’s house had seemingly collected another stray.

So seeing as Haru was living with them, in college, and definitely old enough to be babysitting and responsible, and Shin-ah had been warming up to Haru (as Haru would talk with Shin-ah about animals and help him color in his coloring books). So Ao figured that it would be fine to leave Haru in charge of Shin-ah for a solid half-an-hour as Ao ran back to the police station in order to get some paper work he had forgotten. After all, what could happen in thirty minutes? And so Ao went to the police station and the convenience store and began to make his way back with little worry.

That was until he opened the door.

Shin-ah was wailing from the bedroom, stirring Eko obviously thrown into a frenzy by the wailing child as he ran around the house with Megi skittering over surfaces and hissing as she attempted to avoid the dog, and Haru was desperately trying to open the jammed bedroom door.

“What the hell happened you idiot?!” Ao shouted as Haru looked at him with wide eyes,

“I dunno man! I was just watching some TV, you know, flipping through the channels and then this commercial for a scary movie came on and Shin-ah went crazy!”

“Why the hell did you keep it on the channel then?” Ao snapped back,

“Oh. Wow. Like I didn’t fucking think about that after the fact! If I thought this would’ve happened I wouldn’t have, but here I am! Now stop yelling at me and help me fix this!” Haru shouted back and Ao pushed him out of the way, stormed up to the door, and then calmly knocked on it.

“Shin-ah, I’m home.”

“No! No! No! Scary, Ao! Scary!” Shin-ah was sobbing from the inside. “Ghosts will eat me! No more!”

“I know you are very scared.” Ao said calmly, “But do you think I would let a ghost get you?”

“…no.” Shin-ah’s voice came uncertain.

“That’s right. I wouldn’t. Haru wouldn’t either, right?” Ao said looking to Haru as he jabbed him in the side with elbow. Haru immediately jumped, staring at Ao with wide eyes before stuttering.

“Yeah! Yeah, I wouldn’t. I-I’m so sorry, Shin-ah.” Haru said meaningfully, “I didn’t mean to scare you. Forgive me?”

Shin-ah stayed quiet before agreeing softly, and Haru visibly let out a breath.

“Okay, so, Haru and I are going to open the door now okay?” Ao said before motioning to Haru. With both their strength they unstuck the door, revealing Shin-ah hiding beneath the futon. He immediately crawled out and ran to Ao who gave him a hug. Haru awkwardly reached out to pat his head as Eko and Megi stopped their freak out to check on Shin-ah and to make certain his safety.

And Ao was glad to know that even if there were ghosts, he definitely wouldn’t need to fight them by himself (though obviously he could).

Chapter Text

“So you see…the body is made up of things called cells,” Haru explained as he sipped at his mug of coffee, “think of it like, your body is a little city. And all your cells do different jobs to help your body stay running, just like how factories and shops and workers in a city do the same thing.”

“Body…mine too?” Shin-ah asked curiously, looking at Haru’s textbook.

“Yep. I need to study this, just like you do your letters so I can pass my class. So…please don’t color the pages. It isn’t a coloring book,” Haru asked and Shin-ah looked down guiltily.

“I’m sorry, Haru,” Shin-ah said softly, “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s alright, your coloring looked better than some of the pictures in here. Besides, the textbook was one I got second-hand off the internet. No biggie,” Haru laughed, ruffling Shin-ah’s head. “You are pretty talented though! I’m super impressed! I mean, Ao, look at this! He’s meticulous!”

Haru held up his textbook to reveal very detailed and precise coloring, all within the line, there was attention to how the crayon was used so all of the shading was done in the same direction, colors that were matched to the pictures on the previous page. Ao reached over lightly bump Haru on the head and sat down next to him.

“That’s quite a word you know there,” Ao said with a roll of his eyes.

“Hey, I’ve passed all my languages,” Haru said with a mocking roll of his eyes back.

“I…have other pictures…” Shin-ah asked, sounding hopeful.

“Show them to me later, alright?” Haru asked as he stood up, putting his textbooks in his backpack. “I’ve got to get going.”

“You got school? Today?”

“I’m meeting up with some people about a group project. I’ll see you both later,” Haru said as he slipped on his shoes.

“Bye bye,” Shin-ah said softly as Haru closed the door behind him and went off the train station.

“We’ll have to get going soon too,” Ao said as he finished up his mug of tea and Shin-ah looked at him surprised.

“Going…?”

“You’ve got a doctor’s appointment today,” Ao said and suddenly Shin-ah went pale and froze, a sort of blankness falling over his face as his little hands balled into his shirt. Immediately concerned Ao bent by him. “Shin-ah, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“No,” Shin-ah said looking startled and terrified.

“Are you scared of going to the doctor?” Ao asked him gently.

“Mama said no doctors, Mama said!” Shin-ah begged desperately, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks as he hiccupped.

Hot, boiling anger simmered in his veins. More than anything his fingers itched to hurt or tear something apart. How dare she, Ao thought, fighting to keep his twitching expression from slipping into the absolute anger that he felt. But of course made sense. Having a kid show up at a doctor’s office with the things he had and the total terror of strangers would get a mother a one way trip to the police holding cell. Of course someone despicable like that would instill fear in a child over the doctor’s, it made too much sense.

He took a deep breath.

“Shin-ah,” He said, taking his hands in his. “Look at me. Really look.”

Shin-ah looked up at his face and Ao squeezed his hands.

“I want you to remember something I’ve told you before. More than anything I want you to be healthy and happy, you know that right?” Ao asked him and Shin-ah nodded very slowly. “Well I can’t do that by myself. Doctors are people who can help keep you healthy, and they aren’t people you should be afraid of, alright? Now we need to go in order to make sure you are healthy, okay? You know I go to the doctors a lot, and nothing bad ever happened. Can you trust me?”

Shin-ah nodded slowly and Ao got up and brushed his pants.

“Alright, now, let’s get our shoes on,” Ao said, nudging him towards where their shoes lay by the door.

Shin-ah hesitantly put on his shoes, and then he took Ao’s hand (his little hand cold and sweating). The pediatric clinic wasn’t that far, and Shin-ah enjoyed looking at the fish in the tank (though Ao told him to keep his hands off the glass, who knows what sort of sick kid had licked or snotted on them before him). The nurse called Shin-ah’s name in due time, and Ao had to drag Shin-ah away from the tropical fish in order to bring him to the waiting room.

“Hello, is your name Shin-ah?” The nurse asked him gentle and Shin-ah immediately ducked behind Ao, his hands clenched in Ao’s pants.

“Shin-ah, be polite to the nurse,” Ao bid of him, and Shin-ah just looked up at Ao with wide eyes. “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. Now come on then.”

Shin-ah peaked out from behind Ao and gave a little wave and the nurse smiled at him.

“Can you take your shoes off so we can weigh you?”

“Can…can I keep my socks on?” Shin-ah asked softly.

“Yep!” The nurse said with a nod and Shin-ah reached down to undo the Velcro on his shoes before padding over to the scale. The clang of the metal made him jump, but Ao just bent down in front of Shin-ah.

“Be brave for me okay?” Ao asked Shin-ah, who just nodded as the nurse took the weight and slide down the bar to measure his height. After that was done, the nurse told Ao that the doctor would be in shortly. Shin-ah quickly took this opportunity, as soon as Ao sat back down, to crawl into Ao’s lap.

“Ao…” Shin-ah whispered and he looked down at him.

“The nurse…said shots…?”

“You are behind on some of your boosters, so you need to get them,” Ao explained and Shin-ah’s pale face just went paler.

“Hurts…”

“I have to get shots sometimes too. They don’t feel good, I know. But it’ll be like a quick pinch and it’ll be all over. And I’ll tell you a secret,” Ao said and Shin-ah just bit his lip. “If you focus on something and stay relaxed, it won’t be so bad. If you do really well, I’ll take you out for ramen.”

“I…” Shin-ah whispered as his teeth chattered in fear. “I…I don’t want the doctor. Scary…bad man. Mama…Mama said.”

“He isn’t scary or bad. I know he’s a stranger, but he’s here to help you okay. And don’t worry, I’m here with you, and you know I wouldn’t let any scary bad men near you, okay?” Ao promised Shin-ah. “Everything will be fine.”

Shin-ah was off getting his lollipop with the nurse from before, sporting a couple new bandages as the doctor spoke with Ao a bit more privately.

“He’s gained a fair bit amount of weight and his constitution seems better, which is good considering how underweight and malnourished he had been according to the records. Though I was worried about how his malnourishment might affect him, he’s actually within the reasonable guidelines of healthy weight and height now, and he did well on both his sight and hearing tests. He’s still obviously shy around new people, but his social skills appear to be five times better than before. Is he still as lethargic as he was before?”

“He’s gotten a lot more energy recently. He’s able to play without getting too winded or needing to take a three hour nap afterwards,” Ao said, watching as Shin-ah picked out a blue raspberry lollipop. “How is his feeling?”

“The scars seem to be healing as well, I know we spoke before about how I was worried about nerve damage in his feet from the burns he sustained, but he seems to have pretty good feeling there and he’s healing up well,” The Doctor explained. “Honestly, he’s bouncing back better than I expected. Before he wouldn’t even let adult males touch him, but now I was actually able to administer shots. I am beyond impressed, and I think that has a lot to do with his new stable environment.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Ao said with a relieved sigh.

“Well, have a good rest of your day.” He said and Ao nodded before going over to the counter to quickly set up the next appointment. Shin-ah grasped Ao’s hand, his tongue and teeth hilariously blue and making Ao try to choke down a laugh before Shin-ah reached into his pants pocket to pull out another lollipop as they left the clinic.

“For Ao!” Shin-ah explained and Ao rolled his eyes but took the lollipop and popped it in his mouth.

“Well, I can’t say I did anything to deserve it, but I will accept it with honor,” Ao joked before hoisting Shin-ah up on his shoulders, the lollipop still clenched in between his teeth. “Where are we off too? To get food? Or do you want to go home?”

“Home!” Shin-ah said and Ao just smiled.

“Alright, hang on tight!” Ao said, grabbing Shin-ah’s hands as he began to run down the street.

Shin-ah’s laugh made the sore neck worth it.

Chapter Text

Ao was laying in the bath, letting the warm water soothe his aching shoulders as he rolled them. His hair was up in a bun, the scent of soap and shampoo wafting with the steam and making his stress disappear. It was good to have just a few minutes for himself once in a while, just a little slice of time he could use to unwind from a hard day of work.

A tentative and timid knock came at the door, and Ao saw the shadow of the little body who he knew belonged to Shin-ah. Shin-ah had been napping when Ao had gotten into the bath, and normally his afternoon naps kept him knocked out for at least an hour or two, so the fact that he was sitting outside the bathroom door was struck him as strange.

“What’s up, Shin-ah?” Ao called as he rolled his neck, eliciting a crack as he did so. Shin-ah didn’t answer, but Ao heard the creak of his body leaning against the sliding door.

“I’m coming out,” Ao said, feeling something setting off alarms in his head. He got out of the water. He quickly dried off, throwing on his boxers and pajama pants from where they were folded by the sink before opening the door. Shin-ah was camped by it, sitting down and nearly curled into himself. Ao reached down to give his head a pat, making Shin-ah look up to him and breaking whatever trance he had been in. Ao noticed the way his hands trembled as they twisted in his tee-shirt. Ao immediately sat next to him cross legged, noticing something was very different and it wasn’t a good thing. “Did you have a bad dream?”

Shin-ah nodded, and continued to tremble.

“You can tell me anything, you know that right?” Ao told him firmly. “Remember, what Yuno was saying about opening up about how we feel?”

“I didn’t…feel good…” Shin-ah whispered looking on the verge of tears, “my tummy….”

“Your stomach hurt?”

“Don’t…don’t be mad…” Shin-ah began to sob as fat tears rolled down his cheeks and he hiccupped. “Ao…I’m sorry…”

“What would I possibly be mad at?” Ao asked before Shin-ah just shook his head and continued to cry.

“I didn’t mean to…” Shin-ah whispered hopelessly, and Ao followed his gaze to where the blankets had been pulled into the corner, the leg of one of pants Shin-ah had been wearing crumpled beneath, and a stain…

Ao blinked before realizing what had happened.

“It’s okay, Shin-ah. It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to wet the bed,” Ao said trying to soothe the inconsolable and guilt ridden little child. “It’s alright. You had a scary dream and you weren’t feeling well, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you. All of that can just go in the wash, no harm done.”

“I’m sorry…” Shin-ah still sobbed, “no punish…”

“Nothing like that,” Ao said firmly, reaching out to grasp his arm and to lead him to get him cleaned up. It was at that moment that he watched Shin-ah physically flinch away from his touch, a deep terror in his eyes. Ao froze mid reach. Shin-ah had never ever flinched from him before. A terrible understanding was coming to him now, one that he had to question. But not at that moment. Later, he told himself as he boiled under the surface, deep down. He could deal with that later, right now other things were important.

And so Ao quickly went into the bedroom, getting some of Shin-ah’s clean pajamas from the dresser before returning and placing them on the ground. Ao offered his hand, turning his hand palm up and offered it to the shaking, crying boy.

“Let’s go take a bath, Shin-ah,” Ao told him gently. “I’m sure you don’t feel good right now. The water should still be nice and warm for you. And then I’ll make dinner if you feel up to it, okay?”

Shin-ah’s eyes met his, still filled with tears, but this time he reached to take his hand. Ao leaned down, letting Shin-ah wrap his arms around his neck. His little body shivered against his, and warm tears wet his neck. Ao stood up, bouncing the child in his arms and rubbing his back, as Shin-ah continued to sob tired and relieved sobs.

“You’re safe, I promise,” Ao told him firmly. “I promise.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Ao asked him later, once Shin-ah had been cleaned up and the blankets and pants were in the wash. Shin-ah was dozing in his lap, exhausted from all of tears and panic. “You can tell me anything, Shin-ah. I promise.”

“Bad dream…” Shin-ah said quietly. “Bad man.”

“Bad man?” Ao asked him gently as he rubbed his back. “Did seeing the bad man in the dream make your stomach hurt?”

Shin-ah’s nod made Ao wrap his arms around him but he had one more question to ask,

“Did the bad man do anything in your dream?”

“Hurts when I…bad…” Shin-ah said immediately as he almost seemed to try to press himself into his chest as he sought safety. “It burned…in the dark…”

“I’m sure it was very scary,” Ao said, trying to keep his emotions some place far away where he could sort them out later. Now he needed to be calm and soothing and someone safe for Shin-ah. He could be angry later. Shin-ah nodded in agreement. “And I want you to know, that no one is ever going to hurt you ever again. It’s okay to be scared, but I want you to be able to come to me with anything, do you understand? I promised you that I would take care of you and be good to you, and I’ll always keep that promise. So don’t be worried that I’ll be mad. No matter what, you can tell me. I’m here.”

“Here…?” Shin-ah asked him.

“I’m here for you, and I’m here with you. I promise, Shin-ah.”

Shin-ah’s hand clutching his tee shirt let Ao know that Shin-ah understood.

“I swear to fucking God if I ever get my hands on that fucking bastard I am going to rip his goddamn throat out!” Ao growled at Haru who was sitting at the table as Ao paced. It was late and Shin-ah was asleep by the time Haru had returned. But when Haru had seen Ao’s face, it left little need to explain what had riled him up. Ao could count the number of times on his hand that he had been doused with such a blind rage. More than anything he wanted to take something and crush it.

“It’s so bad,” Haru said looking downright disgusted. “I mean…how could you do that to a kid?”

“I don’t know what was goes on in that wackjob’s head and honestly I sure as hell don’t want to understand, but he was so scared Haru! He didn’t even want me touching him! That monster burned him as a punishment and then probably left him there in a basement or something!” Ao said before turning abruptly. “I swear to god I am not going to let this bastard off. I will find him and I will fucking destroy him.”

“I just…I don’t understand how Ran could’ve let this guy get away with it,” Haru said, sadly as he shook his head. “I mean, I don’t want to think she knew, but how could you possibly miss it?”

“Her own flesh and blood,” Ao said as he sat down, suddenly feeling so heavy as he pressed his fingers to his forehead to ward off the coming headache that was slowly thrumming it’s arrival in his temples. “I just want him to be happy, that’s all I want. God what I wouldn’t give to make him forget. I wish…I wish—“

“You make him happy though,” Haru told him. “Damn, Ao, if there was ever a bastard who tried it’s you. Cut yourself some more slack. You literally are that kid’s whole world.”

“That isn’t true. He has friends, and people who love him dearly. I know I can’t protect him from things that have happened but…but I can’t stand to think that way do you understand? I can’t stand to think that I can’t do anything for him!” Ao told Haru desperately and terrified. “I don’t know when this happened, goddamnit. It’s just…it’s just…why can’t the world see a sliver of what I see in Shin-ah? Why did it have to be this way for him?”

Haru had no answer to volunteer, and Ao wasn’t sure there was one. They both sat in quiet for a moment.

“Do you have your phone?” Ao asked Haru, and Haru dug in his jeans and pulled out his cellphone. He handed it to Ao, and Ao scrolled through the contacts before finding the one he was looking for. Haru looked over his shoulder before gasping at the sight of the number he was currently plugging in.

“Wait you are really going to call—“

“Hell yeah I am. They are the only one who was close enough to that side of the family to be able to tell us anything,” Ao sighed before pressing the call button.

The phone rang twice, and then Ao heard a click.

Chapter Text

Shin-ah remembered the closet. It was a good and safe place, a place where he could sleep with the old coats that were warm even if they were musty. He had his ball and his stuffed rabbit and his robot there. The light hung on a lightbulb and it was too far up, but he had a flashlight. The closet had been his place, the whole world until his Mama came home. But until then, he could be happy even if he was lonely because the world was too big, but his closet was nice and small and made him safe.

But in his dream there was no flashlight. And in the darkness, Shin-ah was not alone.

It was so loud, the clock’s ticking sounded like banging, the floor boards creaked and screeched, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his teeth chattering, footsteps banged louder and louder until everything was so loud that Shin-ah was sure that he would never be able to hear again. Shin-ah was desperately cowering back as far as he could as he covered his ears and shook, hiding amongst the jackets and the old covers. Everything was shaking, everything is so dark.

“Where are you?!” A voice like scratching fingers and breaking glass and growling rumbles and the sloshing of a bottle demanded. “Where are you, you little shit?!”

Shin-ah wanted to beg but he had no words. He had stopped up his sobs with his fingers, desperately wishing for something. Please, please, please, Shin-ah had thought. I don’t want to be bad. I want to be good. I’m sorry. I want to be good, I want to be good! Mama, please come home. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!

The closet door swung open, banging against the wall as the hinges groaned. Shin-ah screamed as he tried to retreat further in the closet, only to be grabbed roughly by the ankle. He was crying and screaming and desperately kicking as he was dragged from his only place.

“You wanna fight, huh? How about this—!” A sharp laugh came and then suddenly pain in his feet, pain that burned white hot and made him scream and bleed and nononononono—

Shin-ah’s eyes open and he lay in suddenly very wet blankets. Eko blinked at him with warm, dark eyes and nudged at him, but Shin-ah still lay frozen (stay quiet, stay still, please don’t find me). His stomach was twisting up into jump rope knots and his heart was pounding in his head. But it was light, the tv was on.

Ao! Shin-ah wanted to call, but he was afraid. The blankets were all messy because he had been bad. He was bad and he would be punished. He loved Ao, he loved Ao so much. Ao said he was a good boy, but if he was bad then Ao wouldn’t love him anymore. He had to make things better. He had to fix things before Ao saw!

Shin-ah ran to the bedroom, pulling out the dresser and grabbing the first pair of his pants. He tried to kick off his own, and put the new ones on but he was sticky and he felt so bad. He tried to hide them under the blankets but the blankets were messy too. Ao would know, Shin-ah thought so defeated. Ao would know like Mama did and the other man did.

Everything felt so big and he couldn’t change anything. More than anything he wanted to go to Ao, he wanted Ao to hold him, he wanted Ao to still love him. Shin-ah’s eyes stung, his stomach hurt. Ao wouldn’t want to be with him anymore, and the very idea made Shin-ah want to cry. Shin-ah loved Ao, and if Ao didn’t want him anymore then, then Shin-ah was sure he wouldn’t ever be happy ever again.

Maybe if Shin-ah told him, Ao wouldn’t be so mad. Shin-ah thought as he walked over to the bathroom. He stood for a moment standing at the door before managing a knock. Shin-ah heard splashing and sighing from the inside.

“What’s up, Shin-ah?” Ao’s voice washed over him warm and gentle and rough. Shin-ah sat down, curling himself at the foot of the door as he desperately tried to soak in the sound of Ao saying his name so gently. “I’m coming out.”

Shin-ah squeezed his eyes shut tight and curled his hands into his shirt as he heard splashing and shuffling. His stomach hurt and he was sure he was going to throw up. The door opened and Ao sat beside him. Shin-ah wanted to dive into his arms, Shin-ah wanted Ao to still love him. But Shin-ah was bad. Shin-ah was bad and…and…

“Did you have a bad dream?” Ao asked, his eyes looking right into Shin-ah and Shin-ah was sure Ao knew everything. Shin-ah nodded and Ao’s eyes softened. “You can tell me anything, you know that right? Remember, what Yuno was saying about opening up about how we feel?”

Shin-ah felt like he was going to throw up. He had lied, he was lying by hiding the mess and not telling Ao right away. Shin-ah was bad and he had lied. Lied to Ao who had loved him even though Shin-ah was bad and messed up everything, and Shin-ah loved him but he hadn’t acted like it. He was bad. Ao was going to punish him, he was sure of it.

“I didn’t…feel good…” Shin-ah whispered as his eyes burned and his vision was all fuzzy, “my tummy….”

“Your stomach hurt?”

“Don’t…don’t be mad…” Shin-ah began to sob and he still felt so sick and he wanted Ao to love him. “Ao…I’m sorry…”

“What would I possibly be mad at?”

“I didn’t mean to…” Shin-ah said as he was shaking and crying as he looked to the mess, and Ao followed where he looked. Shin-ah closed his eyes shut and prepared. But no yelling came. All there was Ao looking at him, his expression still stern but warm.

“It’s okay, Shin-ah. It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to wet the bed,” Ao said, and his voice only made Shin-ah want to cry harder because it wasn’t okay. Shin-ah had been bad. “It’s alright. You had a scary dream and you weren’t feeling well, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you. All of that can just go in the wash, no harm done.”

“I’m sorry…” Shin-ah still cried because he couldn’t stand it. He had been bad, he had lied and been bad but Ao wasn’t mad. “no punish…”

“Nothing like that,” Ao said firmly, and he reached out. But it wasn’t him, it was the shadow reaching out to pull him out of his closet, the bad man coming to make him hurt. No, Shin-ah panicked as his scream was stopped up in his throat and he flinched away.

But when he looked it was Ao, pulling his hand away before standing up. Ao returned from the bedroom, with some of Shin-ah’s pajamas. Ao offered his hand, turning his hand palm up and giving it to him.

“Let’s go take a bath, Shin-ah,” Ao told him gently with a soft smile. “I’m sure you don’t feel good right now. The water should still be nice and warm for you. And then I’ll make dinner if you feel up to it, okay?”

Ao still loved him, and it made Shin-ah cry harder as he reached to take his hand. Ao leaned down, and Shin-ah wrapped his arms around his neck. His arms were warm and solid and all of his nightmares felt so far away.

“You’re safe, I promise,” Ao told him firmly and his hand came to rest again Shin-ah’s head, gentle and warm and never hurting. “I promise.”

Shin-ah rested his cheek against Ao’s neck, and he felt that he was.

Chapter Text

“Ao…what…is Christmas?” Shin-ah asked, looking up from his rice. Ao heaved a sigh before looking at Shin-ah straight.

“Why do you ask?” Ao asked him curiously.

“Yuno…said…it was coming.”

“Christmas is a holiday in which companies try to swindle you out of house and home in the name of a religion we are not a part of. It’s full of dumb singing and ridiculous peace on earth crap and let’s face it, that stuff never did nothing for anyone. Take it from me, Shin-ah, life is better without Christmas,” Ao told him firmly. “So to sum it up, we don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“Holy—dude you have some stuff you need to work through with your therapist,” Haru scoffed as he continued to peel oranges and remained parked under the kotatsu. “It’s just Christmas, no harm in celebrating it.”

“We’re Shinto! Why should we be celebrating a Christian holiday?”

“We’re not even Shinto!”

“Well someone in our family was, and if ghosts exist I would rather not be pissing any off,” Ao snapped.

“Well, I’ll be celebrating Christmas,” Haru said with a stupid smirk on his face.

“Yeah with your weekly piece.”

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

“You just keep whatever you’re doing over there in that corner and keep whoever you’re doing out of my house, or else you’ll infect someone with your lechery,” Ao told him with a roll of his eyes.

“Lech…?” Shin-ah asked confused.

“What Haru is, but don’t worry. I’ll tell you more in detail when you’re older,” Ao told Shin-ah firmly before patting his head and giving Shin-ah a smile. “Until then, know that Haru is what we adults call a ‘deadbeat’, a ‘moocher’, and a ‘two-timer’, and you pay attention and take heed so you do not grow up to be like him.”

“Don’t go telling Shin-ah stuff like that! He’ll get the wrong idea about me!”

“You see, that’s what deadbeats say when confronted about their nature, Shin-ah. Isn’t it pitiable?”

“Oh my god!”

It was at that moment that Ao’s phone rang. Removing himself forcefully from underneath the kotatsu, before moving to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Hello Ao!” Hakuryuu Gi-Min’s voice came from the other side of the line. “How are you doing today?”

“Good, good. What can I do for you?” Ao asked, leaning against the table.

“Well, my family is having our annual Christmas party. I thought it would be only right to extend the invitation,” Gi-Min said with a chuckle.

“Ah, what time?”

“Christmas Eve, the party starts at six in the evening. We’re having a present exchange as well if you are interested in that.”

“Well…I’m sure we’ll drop by,” Ao told him.

“Alright, we’ll see you on the 24th then,” Gi-Min said as he hung up with a click. Ao moved to mark it down on the calendar, before turning to look at Shin-ah. “Kija’s having a party on Christmas Eve, do you want to go?”

Shin-ah head bobbed quickly.

“Alright then we’ll need to think of something to get for him.”

“And Hak!” Shin-ah said firmly.

“And Hak too,” Ao agreed walking back over and giving Shin-ah a pat on the head.

And so that’s how Ao came to be standing at the gate of a ridiculously nice traditional Japanese mansion with Shin-ah on the 24th with presents slung under his arms as if he was a knock off Santa Claus. They were ushered in by servants (actual servants), who took both of their coats. The hall was full of people, most of them who Ao didn’t recognize. However soon he noticed a woman standing at the window smoking a pipe, with a lanky kid standing next to her in a button up and khakis.

“Ah, Officer Seiryuu, good evening,” Gigan greeted and Ao met her in a firm handshake. “Oi, brat, come on greet him properly.”

“Good evening,” Jaeha said petulantly.

“Just call me Ao. It’s nice to see you again,” Ao said before nudging Shin-ah forward. “This is Shin-ah. Say hi to my friend, Gigan, Shin-ah.”

“…hi,” Shin-ah said quietly, with a little wave.

“Cute kid,” Gigan chuckled. “Jaeha, show Shin-ah were the other kids are playing. I’m sure he wants to see Kija.”

“Alright, alright Captain,” Jaeha said with a roll of his eyes before holding out his hand to Shin-ah. “Come on, let’s go then. The Little Master of the House will bless us with his presence.”

Shin-ah looked to Ao for permission, and when Ao gave a nod, Shin-ah took Jaeha’s hand and he led him off to where the other children were most likely playing in a different room.

“He’s an awkward brat, but he’s good with little kids,” Gigan chuckled as they both watched the children go.

“Little Master of the House?”

“Jaeha and Kija have a bit of a back and forth going on,” Gigan chuckled. “Jaeha babysits, well, more like lounges here sometimes, and it annoys Kija only so much that Jaeha can jump higher and climb trees faster than him. The little boy has quite a competitive streak.”

“I can imagine. How do you know the Hakuryuus?”

“Small town, also I’ve been doing business on the coastline with them for some time now,” Gigan chuckled, blowing smoke out the window. “Why else do you think they let me come here and have the fancy food?”

“You have a point there,” Ao chuckled, just as he saw Yuno nearly bounding up to him with Geun-Tae trailing behind her. “Where are you racing too?”

“Did you even bother shaving today?” Yuno asked with her hands on her hips.

“Shaving’s a hassle,” Ao said, rubbing his chin.

“No use pestering the elderly,” Geun-Tae chuckled.

“Merry Christmas to you too, motherfucker,” Ao sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So grouchy,” Yuno laughed before grasping Geun-Tae’s arm and leaning against him. “It’s good to see you out of your house on Christmas Eve though.”

“Shin-ah wanted to give Kija and Hak their presents,” Ao explained before Geun-Tae suddenly turned to wave someone over.

“Speaking of Hak, that’s his grandfather right there,” Geun-Tae said, as an older man dressed in traditional Japanese wear walked over. Geun-Tae reached over to shake his hand, and the man smiled. “Evening, Mun-deok.”

“Evening, it’s good to see everyone in such high spirits!” Mun-deok chuckled, “And you are…?”

“Seiryuu Ao,” Ao said, reaching to meet the handshake. “Hak and Shin-ah are classmates.”

“Ah, Hak has said Shin-ah has quite the aim and arm strength! Ever considered putting him in martial arts?” Mun-deok asked. “My dojo is always ready to accept new youngsters!”

“He’s going to be doing kendo, that’s for certain,” Ao told him with a smile. “It’s in his blood.”

“Ah, you’re that Seiryuu Ao! The one Geun-Tae could never beat!” Mun-deok said in surprise.

“Well, now I just let him win,” Geun-Tae chuckled.

“In your dreams. Some of us are just more naturally skilled,” Ao scoffed, as the people around rumbled with amused chuckles and laughter.

“I think the buffet is open now,” Gigan pointed out, tapping out her pipe. “I’m starving so, if anyone else wants to join me to get something to eat before it’s gone.”

“That’s for sure,” Geun-Tae said, slinging an arm over Ao’s shoulders.

Ao felt his lips turn up in a smile.

“The snow’s kind of pretty, isn’t it?” Ao asked Shin-ah as he loaded up the vending machine with coins. “Even if it is cold.”

It was just after the party, and they were walking back home, Shin-ah’s presents in a bag on Ao’s shoulders. Ao pulled out a can of coffee for himself, and opened a can of hot milk tea for Shin-ah, who cupped it in his mittens happily and took small sips as they made it the rest of the way home. Shin-ah was chattering all about playing with Hak, Kija, Jaeha, and some girl whose name that Ao didn’t recognize, and just the happiness that made his eyes bright made the whole thing worth it. As soon as they got home, they shed their coats and boots, Ao turned on the kotatsu, and Shin-ah snuggled in as Ao went to retrieve the package he had been saving.

“Here you go,” Ao said, offering the paper-wrapped box to Shin-ah.

Shin-ah’s eyes widened as he opened up the present to reveal a small practice shinai, which he held up proudly.

“Well…I’ve said before, you can try out any sports you want. But…I figured since you are always playing around with my bokuto you would at least want one of your own that you can lift up,” Ao said with a chuckle.

“Mine?” Shin-ah asked.

“Yep, all yours. I’m going to be enrolling you at Geun-Tae dojo this coming spring since you’ll be old enough to begin kendo, you can try it out and see if you like it,” Ao told him. “But I figured, regardless, I’ll be able to show you a few moves so you can impress your friends on the playground.”

Shin-ah placed the practice sword down with care, before crawling into Ao’s lap and giving him a hug that Ao returned.

“Merry Christmas, Shin-ah,” Ao said with a smile.

Chapter Text

The only way Ao could put it was, she just sort of showed up. Ao certainly hadn’t expected her, but if he had the old hag probably knew that he might have skipped out of town. And so he was standing like a slack jaw idiot as he saw his Great-Aunt standing at the door of his modest home.

And it was totally instinct that had him slamming the door closed immediately.

“SEIRYUU AO YOU OPEN THE DOOR IMMEDIATELY DO YOU HEAR ME YOU VAGRANT?!”

“Shit shit shit shit!” Ao gasped, clutching his chest where he thought his heart was going to burst out because suddenly he was sixteen again and getting caught with a handle at a family reunion (which didn’t happen totally hypothetical). Ao jerked the door open again to see Grand-Aunt Abi’s harsh glare, “Alright, alright I got! Stop your screaming you are going to wake up the whole neighborhood! You just surprised me!”

“I see you haven’t improved your manners since I last saw you,” Abi said with a heavy sigh.

“Well are you going to come in or not?” Ao asked, moving aside.

Abi came in, removing her coat and gloves delicately as she always did before stopping still at the sight of Shin-ah sitting at the kotatsu before immediately ducking underneath it causing Ao to hop over the shoes and go to lift up the siding.

“Shin-ah, remember what I said about that? Come on it’s too hot under there,” Ao said, as Shin-ah popped his head out and looked between Ao and Abi nervously, before allowing Ao to scoop him out completely. “Shin-ah, I want you to meet our Great-Aunt Abi.”

“H-hello…” Shin-ah greeted quietly, offering a shy wave before hiding his face in Ao’s arms.

It was then that Abi did something that surprised Ao. Abi sat with folded knees, her back straight. She had gotten older, clearly, since Ao had last seen her all those years ago. Her hair once the same shade as Ao’s and Shin-ah’s tinged grey, face lined, and yet she still looked strong and foreboding. As was the matriarch of the house, Ao couldn’t help but think.

“Shin-ah, it is nice to meet you as well,” Abi said formally before placing her hands in front of her and bowing her head. “And forgive me.”

“Wait—“ Ao started to say only to be cut off.

“I have reasons to apologize to this boy. I take responsibility for what has happened. Ran had gone off the grid, but I should have been more proactive. It was my ineptness that led to this, and if I had managed our family like I should have this would never have happened. Truly, it is an eyesore. Forgive me,” She explained before lifting her head and placing her hands on her lap. “And for you, Ao, to be taking responsibility for this mistake is also unacceptable to me.”

“Shin-ah, can you go play in the other room for a bit?” Ao asked of Shin-ah who nodded and scurried off, and with a whistle, Eko went to join him. Ao got up for a moment, touching the kettle on the stove to still find it hot, before bringing it over with two clean cups. “Listen, what happened is already past. What’s most important is that Shin-ah is doing really well right now.”

“I’ve never heard you speak like this before,” Abi said suspiciously.

“You haven’t heard me speak in ten years,” Ao pointed out, before setting the tea in front of her. “Listen, I called to let you know what was happening—“

“Yes, you call and suddenly I find out that Ran had a child that you adopted, forgive me if I am a little skeptical in the goings on,” She stated, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“He’s not officially adopted or anything, I’m just his guardian.”

“And I gave you a very clear response didn’t I?”

“You aren’t taking him,” Ao told her firmly. “Shin-ah has settled here. He has friends, he’s going to school. He’s seeing the doctors and they tell me he’s getting healthy. Why should I cede guardianship to you?”

“You understand why I do not want a child in the same house as you, do you not? Your alcoholism has gotten you into trouble on many occasions and I’ll not have Shin-ah put into any more dangerous situations with his history being what it is,” Abi said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“I haven’t even touched a bottle in months. I’m going to therapy. You can check my entire house, there is no alcohol here anymore,” Ao growled, slamming his hand down. “Haru, your little spy, would have told you if I was drinking with a kid in the house.”

For a moment Abi was quiet, sipping the tea and obviously taking in the information that Ao had just given her. After she had collected her thoughts, she placed down the cup gingerly.

“If what you are saying is true, I am very proud of you,” Abi told him firmly (and Ao ignored the fluttery feeling in his chest that definitely didn’t exist at the words). “However, the offer still stands. I would be glad to have him in my house. I know you never wanted to be a father.”

“And my answer still stands. Shin-ah isn’t going anywhere.”

“Very well, then you will at least allow me to compensate you,” Abi said firmly.

“Put it in a fund or something,” Ao said, waving her off. “Or go on a vacation or the spa something, I don’t know what you do with money.”

“You never had any clue about women,” Abi sighed as she shook her head.

“Hey!”

“And for a moment I thought you had finally met a good woman and settled down, I suppose it was too much to hope for.”

“Okay lady, do you want me to kick you out of my house or what?”

“Did you really need to dress him up in my old clothing?” Ao asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Abi had dressed Shin-ah up in Ao’s old haori and hakama from back when he was Shin-ah’s age. Blue with patterned golds and light sleeves. Shin-ah was currently hopping around in his sandals that made loud clopping sounds as Eko jumped excitedly and Megi remained planted on the kotatsu.

“Yes he does need to be dressed up in your old clothes, since you apparently haven’t taken him for his shichigosan!” Abi said before her voice entered her scolding mode. She was dressed up in her fancy kimono, and to be honest looked much more comfortable in it than regular Western clothes. “One of the first things on my list is to get him his own, but thankfully I still had these in my house.”

“Alright, alright,” Ao sighed before beckoning Shin-ah forward to tie his scarf before throwing on his jacket. “Remind me again why that’s important?”

“Because we are Shinto!”

“Oh, right,” Ao said, rubbing his temples. “I almost forgot.”

“…Ao?” Shin-ah nearly chirped as Ao reached down to pick him up.

“Alright, time to go to the temple with Great Aunt Abi,” Ao told Shin-ah. “Your first ever visit, huh? I think you’ll like this.”

“Soba!”

“Yeah, I did promise we’d eat some of that huh?” Ao said, as Shin-ah hopped and tried to reach his favorite baseball cap. Ao reached up and secured it on his head, unable to stop the laugh that came out because of how funny Shin-ah looked in the dressy hakama and haori and the baseball cap. “Looking smart there, Shin-ah.”

“Ao…no…kim…?”

“I don’t wear those, too much trouble.”

“And you would look so good in one too,” Abi sighed before saying, “Haru got dressed up today!”

“Haru’s out romancing a girl.”

“And he’s aware of how to do that.”

“I swear-”

“Ao?” Shin-ah asked curiously before he just sighed heavily.

“Alright, alright let’s get going.”

The temple was extremely crowded by the time they got there, with families and stalls as was usually the case on January 1st . Shin-ah happily hopped from stall to stall as they made their way to the main temple to ring the bell. Ao lifted Shin-ah up on his shoulders so he could reach to ring it, before placing him down to clap and pray.

(Just let Shin-ah be healthy and happy this year, also let Haru not get into too much trouble…and let it be a while before the old hag kicks it.)

“Ah, Seiryuu Ao!” A cheerful voice called as they walked away. He immediately recognized the curly blonde hair and dorky smile, despite the uncharacteristically fancy hakama.

“Ik-Su! Long time no see!” Ao said. “The temple looks great.”

“The volunteers worked very hard. It is nice to see you again as well,” Ik-Su said bowing his head for Abi, before crouching down to greet Shin-ah. “This must be the Shin-ah that Mun-deok was telling me all about! It’s wonderful to meet you!”

Shin-ah shyly nodded, hiding behind Ao’s pant leg before Ik-soo clapped his hands together.

“I’m going to be fostering soon, so you’ll be meeting a new friend at the daycare rather soon. His name’s Yun. Be good to him in the coming year will you?” Ik-Soo asked and Shin-ah nodded again and then Ik-Soo stood up, Ao having to quickly steady him before he nearly toppled over. “Whoops! Sorry about that!”

“Yeah, be careful,” Ao said.

“Have a good rest of your New Year!”

It was just then that Ao felt a little hand grip his, and looked down to see Shin-ah smiling up at him.

“Alright, it’s time to get you that soba isn’t it?” Ao asked, “And then we’ll get mochi.”

“Udon!” Shin-ah reminded Ao with a strong little tug on his arm.

“That too, you have wonderful taste,” Ao said proudly.

“Not all that, he’ll get sick!” Abi scolded lightly, though Ao swore he saw a smile tugging at her lips.

And that was enough to make Ao think that the New Year might be something to look forward to.