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They say you don’t know how much you love someone until you lose them.
That someone walking out of your life is the moment when you realize all the things you should have said or done better to keep them in.
Mizuki never agreed with those ideas.
Maybe it was the fear of someone leaving, which led them to always showing how much they cared for someone. Maybe it was that fear, sooner rather than later, turning into acceptance as person after person left, which led them to not having any regrets when the inevitable happened. Either way, Mizuki could say they never went through a moment where they thought they should have done something different whenever someone left. They had no regrets, but maybe the day would come when they would experience it. Life was unpredictable and at this point they wouldn’t be surprised if it happened.
But if there was one thing they knew would never happen, that was them not realizing how much they loved Ena until she left them.
As the first few rays of sunlight peeked through the window of their room, causing Mizuki to wake up, they could feel the familiar warmth creeping up in their chest when they felt Ena’s slow and steady breathing hitting their neck. She was clutching the front of their shirt as her face was buried in the crook of their neck and her left leg was thrown over their waist, clinging to them like a koala.
She seemed to be sleeping so peacefully that Mizuki felt bad for grabbing her hand and slowly disentangling it from their shirt so they could get up. That feeling only intensified as they could hear her whine unconsciously when they parted their body from hers, but they needed to get out of the bed and close the curtains. Today was a free day for both of them, and after the long week they both had at work, Mizuki really didn’t want Ena’s sleep to be interrupted.
It didn’t take them any longer than fifteen seconds, but as soon as they returned to bed Ena already stole their pillow, holding it close to her chest as she kept on sleeping. They couldn’t help but chuckle fondly as they got back under the covers, choosing to sit back and admire Ena’s sleeping form instead of getting closer.
She still had dark circles under her eyes from spending the entire previous night awake, finishing the last piece for her art exhibition. Thankfully, considering the huge success the exhibition was, she could finally take a few days off to rest.
Reaching their hand out, Mizuki carefully tucked a stray strand of hair back behind Ena’s ear, making sure nothing disturbed her sleep. They couldn’t help but let their hand linger slightly, caressing with their thumb the corner of her eye. Small wrinkles started to appear with age, but in Mizuki’s eyes Ena just got more and more beautiful each day.
If anyone told Mizuki that they couldn’t know how much they loved the person in front of them right now until they lost her, they would tell that person they were full of crap. Every time they looked at Ena they could feel themself fall just a bit more in love with her, no matter how many times they told themself it was impossible to love her more than they already did. As they let their hand fall from her face, slowly reaching for her left hand that was clutching their pillow, they stopped their thumb on one particular finger, running it softly over the jewelry that engulfed it, a smile just naturally growing on their face as they did.
Instead of waiting to find out how much Mizuki truly loved Ena when they lost her, they let their heart choose a different path. One where they would gradually find out as they fell in love with her a bit more every day, for the rest of their lives, as the two of them intertwined them through a vow.
They would be lying if they said that the thought of ‘forever’ didn’t scare them at first. It wasn’t the thought in itself that was terrifying, but the sweet hope it brought with it. But now, after five years of being married to the person who meant the world to them, that fear was nowhere to be seen.
Mizuki closed the distance between themself and their wife, bending down slightly to press their lips softly against the ring on her hand, before lifting their head back up and pressing a kiss to Ena’s cheek, then the tip of her nose, and lastly her forehead, the warmth in their chest just intensifying as they heard her let out a small content sigh before burying her face in their pillow.
Once they were sure Ena wouldn’t wake up if they moved, they got out of the covers again, standing up from their shared bed and stretching their hands above their head.
Guess I’m the one cooking breakfast today.