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Chapter Text

Kakashi was always well aware that he was the youngest in his class. His teammates and sensei were constantly reminding him. Kakashi didn’t let it get to him though. He was more capable than nearly any other ninja in his generation. He knew he had surpassed Obito and Rin, Gai as well if he were to count him, quite a while ago. 

Nevertheless, The idiots seem to insist that he is the youngest and therefore in need of the most help. “Kakashi, now that we’re graduating we won’t be able to watch out for you as much,” Kurenai warned him once the ceremony was over. 

“That’s right kid. You’re gonna need to be more careful” Asuma agreed. 

“I’m not a kid and I don’t need anyone watching out for me” Kakashi corrected wanting to walk away, but knowing Genma was standing in his path. 

“See that response? That is what worries me” Kurenai sighed. 

“I lowkey agree dude. I know you’ll have a sensei and all but you’re really bad about remembering to hang out with your friends” Genma voiced. 

“That’s because I don’t have friends” Kakashi sighed in annoyance. “We won’t have time for hanging out when we’re fighting in the war. We’re shinobi now. You guys should be more serious” he scolded. 

“I am serious” Kurenai answered, sounding less cheery than she had earlier in the day. Kakashi supposed it was probably in an attempt to convince him that she was telling the truth. “Even top-ranking Shinobi need comrades to call on. Especially in times of war. If you truly are the superior shinobi, then it is only natural that you must have reliable comrades that you contact on occasion” She finished. 

Kakashi knew it was likely that Kurenai was manipulating him, but he couldn’t deny that her logic was sound. Even the Hokage had to depend on his teammates. That didn’t mean he had to be friends with them. “I know how to contact you. You’ve all dragged me to your houses before” Kakashi argued. 

“What if you can’t make it to our house?” Kurenai questioned.

“What exactly are you wanting Kurenai?” Asuma sighed, clearly annoyed with her vagueness. 

“Everyone gather round and listen up!” Kurenai ordered pulling out her notepad and ripping a piece from the binding. Kakashi peered over her shoulder to see her scrawling: Emergency Phone Numbers<3. He scowled at the idea. He wouldn’t need to call them, and even if he did, he would need to be home or have access to someone else’s phone to do so. It’s not like phones were portable. “There,” she smiled as she finished placing hers at the top. Soon enough she was passing the paper around in the circle resulting in the list:

Kurenai: xxx-xxx-xxxx’

Rin: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Asuma: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Gai/ Eternal Rival: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Genma: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Raido: xxx-xxx-xxxx

“Why is Rin Nohara’s number on here?” Kakashi asked not completely certain of who that was. 

“She’s a friend of mine and she’s closer to your age. She also is in town more often since she hasn’t graduated yet” Kurenai explained folding the paper up and then motioning for Kakashi to turn around. He did so and heard her unzipping his backpack and shoving the paper inside. 

“Why would I need help from someone who hasn’t even graduated yet?” Kakashi asked confused.

“Don’t be so high and mighty Kakashi” Raido scoffed. “Everyone has something they can contribute, ya know”

“I have to agree!” Gai exclaimed and Kakashi rolled his eyes. 

“Why are you even here? You didn’t graduate today” Kakashi said knowing that the boy probably came just to see his friends. Gai was weird that way, and oddly quiet today seeing as how Kakashi only just realized he was here. 

“I wanted to support my fellow youth!” he answered and everyone in the small group nodded as if that answer made sense. 

“The paper is a good idea Kakashi. I have to go now, but feel free to call anytime” Genma smiled before running off in the direction of his father. The other echoed similar sentiments, many leaving to go meet their parents or new senseis until Kakashi was standing outside the academy by himself. 

He knew at the end of the day his father wouldn’t be there. That was fine by him. He would be nothing like that traitor. Kakashi looked up at the great stone faces and wondered if the war would keep going for much longer. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone coming up behind him. Turning around he found a blonde shinobi who looked to be about 18 or 19. 

“Hello Kakashi, I don’t suppose you remember me?” he asked with a smile bending a bit to try and look eye level. Kakashi eyed the man up and down and deemed that he couldn’t quite place him, though he had his suspicions. 

“Are you my Jounin instructor?” Kakashi asked and the man smiled a bit brighter. 

“Yep! I’m not surprised you don’t recognize me. We met once before with your father, but that was a few years ago. You were barely three!” The man recalled sticking out his hand for Kakashi to shake. “My name’s Minato Namikaze. I hope we get along really well and congratulations on graduating so early” Minato said happily. Kakashi didn’t know why he was so peppy, but he wouldn’t complain. He had heard the name Namikaze before. He’s the youngest Jounin sensei the leaf has. 

“It’s nice to meet you Minato Sensei” Kakashi agreed, shaking the man’s hand. It wasn’t very long before his stomach rumbled interrupting the interaction rather rudely. Minato sensei frowned and Kakashi worried he would be lectured. 

“I don’t suppose you’re hungry, are you?” Minato asked with a knowing gaze. 

“I was just about to head home. I’ll eat then” Kakashi excused but his new teacher shook his head in disapproval. 

“Nonsense! I’m feeling rather hungry myself. Let’s go out and get something. Do you like BBQ or Ramen more?” Minato asked and Kakashi groaned on the inside. He could already tell that the blonde was going to be one of those troublesome adults who felt he couldn’t handle basic needs. He would show him. Kakashi would follow the rules to perfection and become an excellent shinobi. No one would look down on him then.

Chapter Text

Kakashi was very excited about his new shuriken. It was almost the size of his entire body. He had been speaking with the weapons division earlier about ordering some more kunai and saw that there were a few of them hanging on the wall. It was called a Demon Wind Shuriken, and he immediately wanted to own one. After inquiring about their price he was very pleased to learn that he had enough cash on him to buy one for himself. This is what lead to him walking home with an extremely heavy mission pack. 

After walking back to the Hatake compound he didn’t hesitate to move into his kitchen and pull the large weapon out of his pack. The shinobi he had spoken to folded the weapon up for him so that it would be transportable. He had warned him “Make sure you have your sensei around when you want to start training with it. Even opening the thing can be dangerous if you don’t watch for the edges.” However, Kakashi had always bought himself gear and he never needed any supervision to figure out his weaponry before. He was certain there was no use in bothering Minato sensei with it now. 

“Mah, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to let Pakkun see it though” Kakashi hummed to himself as he moved his pack back to the hook. His ninken were always interested in any new jutsu or weapons he wanted to use. Pakkun frequently had good advice about improving his training as well. He placed his hands together to form the correct signs before biting his thumb for his summoning jutsu.

In a poof of smoke, Pakkun was in his kitchen. “What’s up Kakashi?” the pug asked as Kakashi walked over to the sink to wet a washcloth. It wouldn’t do to let the blood seep into the floor mats. 

“I have a new shinobi tool and I figured you would want to see it,” Kakashi explained taking the cloth and kneeling down on the floor to begin scrubbing. It was easy enough to get the red up and then place the cloth on the counter. He could wash it later now that there wasn’t any risk of staining. “It’s a new kind of Shiruken called a demon wind shuriken” He explained picking Pakkun up to set him on the kitchen table. Otherwise, he was sure the dog wouldn’t be able to see. 

“Demon Wind shuriken huh? It seems a bit large for you Kakashi. Are you sure it’s practical?” Pakkun questions walking very carefully around the large weapon that sat on the middle of his table. 

“I’m sure it will be useful once I train with it” Kakashi assured touching the top of the blades lightly. He was well aware that the shinobi textbooks outlined that one should always train proficiently with a weapon before using it in a battle or mission. 

“I still think it might be a better idea to try using it with that new teacher of yours. You guys have been getting along haven’t you?” Pakkun suggested and Kakashi was frowning behind his mask. 

Minato Sensei was a very capable shinobi. Kakashi hadn’t really understood his cheery disposition, still didn’t if he were honest, but he respected his excellent teaching abilities. He was by far the fastest shinobi in all of the leaf. That included Gai. They had been working together for about five weeks now and Kakashi’s only complaint was that they weren’t taking any important missions yet. Mostly D Rank missions for now. Minato had explained that he was new at being a teacher and wanted to settle into the position first. Kakashi had understood that.

Even with their strong progress, Kakashi still didn’t feel that he could call him for any issue he had. Kakashi was as strong as any other genin and most genin only contact their sensei with specific training. This was merely a new weapon and therefore shouldn’t warrant the presence of another shinobi. 

“I wouldn’t want to disturb Minato Sensei. He is on a date with Kushina san today.” Kakashi answered moving Pakkun to sit in a chair so that if the weapon moved he wouldn’t get hurt. “Besides, I don’t think I’ll need much help. I’m just looking at the basic mechanics today.” he continued. If all went well, maybe he would bring his shuriken to training tomorrow and Minato sensei could try it. 

“Kid I’m not so sure-” Pakkun cut off when Kakashi's gentle prodding slashed open the shuriken suddenly. It’s speed far exceeded his normal shinobi tools. speed far exceeded Kakashi’s regular shining tools. The four tips moved quick enough to send the shuriken off the table. Kakashi, even as a new genin, had the instincts to step back. Unfortunately not quite fast enough to avoid injury. 

“Kakashi!” Pakkun yelled. Kakashi fell to the floor under the weight of the shuriken. As it fell off the slid of the table, one of the tips had slashed a cut down his leg. It didn’t look deep enough to hit any major arteries, but it would definitely need stitches. It seemed his earlier work would go to waste with the amount of blood staining his mats now. “Hang on kid, I’ll go grab some help” Pakkun assured but Kakashi reached his hand out for Pakkun’s headband. 

“No!” He ordered letting go of Pakkun out of instant regret. He needs to staunch the bleeding on his leg. He tore his shirt off and placed the garment over the wound before applying pressure. “If you get someone then they’ll take me to the hospital” he hissed. The wound stung as the fabric pushed further into the cut. 

“That’s kind of the point Kakashi. Unless you know a very skilled healer who can come and treat you over here then I am leaving now” Pakkun argued and Kakashi wanted to cry. He probably would cry eventually but the blood loss was making him too dizzy. 

“Please” Kakashi begged trying to keep his lip from wobbling. Pakkun stared at him and Kakashi knew he wouldn’t budge. “Can you just reach the wall phone? I have a friend. She’s good I promise” he tried and the pug sighed. Pakkun easily bounced up and snagged the wall phone that, thank kami, had a long enough cord to reach where Kakashi was sitting. 

Now the only thing standing in the way of Avoiding the hospital was remembering Kurenai's phone number. He has a great memory but…”Pakkun I need my academy backpack” he whispered trying not to tear up from the stinging that was becoming increasingly worse. 

“Your academy bag? Kakashi your bleeding a lot we don’t have time-“

“I need her phone number and it’s in the bag” Kakashi interrupted.  “Please grab it? It’s under my bed” he explained and Pakkun ran off to retrieve it. He had never been more grateful that he had ninja dogs. If he didn't, Pakkun couldn’t have returned by the time he finished taking a few breaths. 

Kakashi ripped open the top with one hand trying not to get too much blood on everything. In the bottom sat the folded up notebook paper that quickly stained red at the edges. He pulled it out and dialed the first number on the list. 

“Hello?” Kurenai answered. 

“Kurenai? It’s Kakash-shi” he stuttered trying not to sound too off. He did have a reputation to uphold. He wasn’t a baby. 

“Kakashi? What’s wrong? Where are you?” She questioned quickly, sounding panicked already. 

“H-home” the reply was enough to make him cry. Everything hurt and his head felt really funny. “I need help” he told her breaking off into sniffles. 

“Ok, ok honey. Hang on one second! I can be there really soon and I’ll bring my med kit.” She promised before Kakashi heard the dial tone. He was glad she didn’t ask too many questions. Kakashi really didn’t feel like answering them and the more everything hurt the more he worried he would get tired. That happened sometimes when he would overdo it in training. That was part of why he made sure he did the perfect amount of conditioning. 

“You’ll be ok boss” Pakkun comforted, seemingly unphased by Kakashi's tears. The pug was as helpful as ever rushing over to make sure the door was unlocked before coming back and putting his paws on the tshirt. Kakashi gasped a bit at the feeling but was smart enough to know his ninkin was trying to apply pressure. 

Just when Kakashi thought he may die crying on his kitchen floor he heard his front door slam open. “I’m here! I’m here!” Kurenai shouted from the front of the house. Kakashi didn’t have the heart to answer her but she ran through the hall and found him anyway. “Oh my god” she gasped kneeling down next to him, her knees hitting the small pool of blood. 

“K-Kurenai” Kakashi gasped through his small sobs and she shushed him as she rifled through her medkit. 

“I know, I know. Hang on I’m getting some cleaning supplies and then I’ll fix you right up.” She promised but Kakashi lifted one of his hands to tap at her knees. 

“Your d-dress” he sniffles and she took her eyes off the wound just long enough to see the blood soaking into the fabric. 

“Don’t worry about that Kakashi” she chided turning her worried gaze back at him. “It’s just a dress. I didn’t really like this one anyway” she assured ripping open a sanitizing solution that was quickly applied to the wound. 

He did his best not to cry harder when the tshirt was peeled back, already having started to dry a bit. Kurenai rushed through the movement and began cleaning the wound with some rubbing alcohol and a cleaning cloth. He hissed when it made contact. “I know it hurts, but you’re doing a really great job. I haven’t had a chance to practice medical ninjutsu much yet. Even though we’re doing c ranks no one has gotten hurt too much” she explained. Kakashi tried to calm himself while she finished removing the excess blood and pulled out a bandage. 

“D-doesn’t it need s-stitches?” He sniffled and he saw her hand freeze. 

“Kakashi, you need a hospital for that. I’m field dressing the wound and then I’ll carry you ok? It’ll be fine” she answered and Kakashi instinctively moved away. He immediately regretted it when pain shot through his leg despite having only scooted back two inches. 

“N-no hospitals. That’s why I called. I-I can’t” he refused. 

“He wont go with you or call you again if you try to take him” Pakkun added and Kurenai jumped. Kakashi guessed she probably hadn’t noticed the dog laying on Kakashi's opposite side. “I know the kid and it’s good he willingly called for you. If you want that to happen again, do it here. I can guide you through it if you don’t know how” Pakkun advised. 

“No!” Kurenai exclaimed sounding startled at the thought. She looked back at the still bleeding gash and then sighed. “I won’t stitch it, but I will heal you.” She settled placing her hands over Kakashi's leg and letting her hand glow green. Kakashi had never seen healing in action before and definitely hadn’t ever felt it on his own person. He flinched at some of the stretches of skin as his leg meshed back closed. He wouldn’t be able to describe the feeling only that it was unpleasant. “You’re lucky that I’ve been practicing outside of training. Most new genin aren't able to perform medical ninjutsu like this” she continued. Her face was more serious than Kakashi was used to, he supposed that it took a lot of focus to heal with chakra. 

“Thank you” Kakashi whispered wiping at his eyes with his hands. He frowned when he felt that his face now had sticky blood on it. His breathing hitched with the realization and caught Kurenai's attention. 

“You’re welcome” she smiled sitting back once his leg had formed a scar. “Let’s get you cleaned up a bit huh? What even is that thing anyway?” She asked, standing up and offering Kakashi a hand. He grabbed it and stood a bit too fast. He was still feeling really dizzy which made him bump into the kunoichi. She was fast to steady him until his vision stopped bouncing. “You ok?” She checked and Kakashi nodded. 

“I was trying a new weapon. It’s called a demon wind shuriken” he answered guiding her into the kitchen. She nodded along, walking to the sink and grabbing one of Kakashi's rags to place under running cold water. He pulled down his mask, that unfortunately had blood on it before continuing. “I thought it would be nice to look at the mechanics before training but the opening was too fast and it fell off the table” he explained. 

“I see” she muttered, bringing the wet towel over and scrubbing at his face with it. He put his hands up to stop her but she batted them away. “One second” she instructed continuing in the job until the blood was off his head. “Training with a new weapon, especially one that big, without your sensei wasn't a very good idea Kakashi” she frowned. 

“I know” he whispered and he heard her sigh. 

“Alright then. No going back now. You should take a bath too. You’re clothes, especially your shorts, need a good wash. And the white of your hair is kinda messy too.” She smiled setting the dirty towel on the counter beside the one Kakashi had used earlier. “Do you need help with the mess?” She asked and Kakashi shook his head. 

“No, I like to clean” he replied. “You can go home now” 

She nodded walking back to the table to grab her bag. As she did, he spotted her folding, very carefully, the shuriken. 

“Hey be careful” he commented walking over to take it but she moved it into her medical bag. 

“I will be don’t worry. I just figured I could drop this off at Minato Sensei's for you. You obviously won’t be using it without him again anyway, right?” She asked and before he could answer Pakkun spoke up. 

“That sounds like a great idea.” He agreed and Kakashi sighed. Of course, they would team up against him. 

“I don’t believe we’ve met” Kurenai smiled, looking at his dog. 

“Pakkun, nice to meet ya kid” Pakkun answered. “Thanks for helping the boss. I gotta go for now. Later Kakashi” he finished before disappearing into the smoke. Kakashi would have to guess that his chakra levels weren’t great right now. 

“I could bring it to sensei’s” Kakashi argued once his ninken was gone but Kurenai shook her head. 

“It’s no trouble at all. I need to head that direction anyway. I was planning on meeting my dad for dinner.” She excused. Just as she went to head for the exit Kakashi heard her step on a crinkle. She looked down and grabbed the list from under her foot that was drenched in blood. “Uh oh” she said lightly setting the ruined paper on the table. 

Kakashi had forgotten about that in all his pain. “This won’t do.” Kurenai sighed. “Well, it’s not that late in the day! How about I give this to sensei and then come back once you’re all cleaned up. We can have BBQ and I’ll write down a new list for you.” She suggested walking to the entry to grab her shoes. Kakashi followed her around the corner confused. 

“Didn’t you just say you were meeting your dad?” He asked and she feigned surprise. 

“Did I? Hmm. I’ll see you in a bit Kakashi!” She called running out of the house. 

Kakashi really didn’t understand her. 

Chapter Text

Kakashi really hadn’t planned to ever use the stupid list ever again. That plan had worked pretty well for his first year as a genin, but unfortunately, it wouldn’t always work it seemed. He arrived back home about six hours ago from a C-rank mission with Minato sensei. They had been away from the village for over a week and Minato sensei was determined to make sure Kakashi was well-rested. 

Kakashi had followed his Sensei’s directions very closely. He made himself a salmon dinner, cleaned the house, took a long bath so that his bruises would ease, and then settled for bed. He fell asleep fairly quickly, the way he always had and was enjoying it. Until he heard a window shatter in the house. 

Random noises in the night were especially concerning in Kakashi’s house. Mostly because he lived completely alone and never had company over. The last time something had made a large noise in the night, the ANBU had cornered an attacker in the village up against his house. Granted, there hadn’t been very much danger to his own person and the ANBU did not need his help. However, since then Kakashi had taken to investigating all foreign noises that happened at night. 

Kakashi got out of bed and snatched his headband and his Kunai pouch from the bedside table. As he left his room he tied them into place and grabbed a kunai to have on hand. The floorboards creaked slightly under his weight when he came around the corner to view the kitchen and dining area. Nothing. “Huh,” he sighed quietly. Maybe it was a false alarm? Turning to inspect the door said it was not. 

Glass littered the window by his front entry. Now that Kakashi knew where to look he could see the shadows that were moving around in silence outside. Uh oh he thought, doing a quick headcount of the figures he could distinguish. 5, sh*t. Minato Sensei didn't have very many rules, but all of the rules he did have were considered unbreakable. Obviously the most important was to listen, but that was in the shinobi handbook. Right below that one, was to never engage more than 4 opponents unless you have a fellow shinobi with you or orders to do otherwise. The main issue was that Kakashi had no way of protecting the house if he left to get help, and Minato sensei was on another mission for the night with Shikaku. Well, they told him it was a mission, but Kakashi knew it was a trip to the bathhouse so that his sensei could rest. Either way, Kakashi didn’t have a fast way to contact him. 

He quickly moved to his dining area and grabbed the wall phone. On the wall was a pinned list of names that Kurenai had drawn up after the last one got ruined. Knowing that Kurenai was definitely asleep, he dialed his next best hope.

“Who in all of Konoha is calling? Someone better be dying” Asuma answered sounding groggy. I must have just woken him up then. Let’s hope he can be fast when he’s tired. 

“Asuma” Kakashi whispered trying not to let his voice carry. 

“Kakashi?!” Asuma all but yelled to interrupt him. There was a distinct thump before he spoke again. “Where are you? What’s going on?” the older shinobi asked. 

“Someone is vandalizing my house” he whispered glancing around to see that the figures were coming near the door. “They’re gonna break in. come quick” he asked before hanging up and hurrying back through the house. There was one part of the house that Kakashi couldn’t leave unguarded: his father’s weapon room. Inside was every weapon his father purchased, along with any scrolls the Hatakes had collected. 

He slid open the screen and shut it just in time to hear his front door breaking. That’s probably expensive to replace. I hope they aren’t ruining the floor. Kakashi’s hearing was good enough to hear any sound from inside his house. Despite being in a closed-off room. 

“Can you believe that no one has ever been through this stuff? After what the traitor did the least we can do is destroy his clan house” a male voice spoke gently and Kakashi heard several hums of agreement. Ahh. so they didn’t even come for my father’s things or for me. They’re here to break things. When the voices silenced he heard more glass. If they break my teapot, I’m gonna ask Asuma to kill them with me. 

“Hey guys” one of the voices called and Kakashi strained to hear him. “There’s a kid's backpack” the man continued. 

“Uh, we have bigger problems” a different person interrupted. A paper was ripped and there were several breathing noises that didn't really sound like words. “This is a kid’s handwriting and they list Minato as their Sensei.” Crap. Kurenai’s gonna see it’s messed up, again. At least this one lasted longer than the last. 

“Yeah that might be a problem” a new voice agreed and Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief. Asuma.

“What the H*ll!” one of the men yelled and Kakashi took that as his sign to come with his Kunai to see the damage. He tried to move fast but Asuma was quicker. When Kakashi rounded the corner there were five men passed out on his floor surrounded by porcelain shards. At least it was just the plates. Asuma stood above them looking completely unfazed but bloody. A quick glance at the bodies was enough to see he had only knocked them out. 

“Kakashi” Asuma breathed clearly sounding relieved to see him. The tween jumped over the pile and kneeled in front of Kakashi to get a better look at him. The younger boy allowed him to grab at his arms and feel for injuries. “Are you ok? They didn’t get at you right?” he asked sounding worried. It was extremely similar to Minato’s reaction when Kakashi had attempted to take on more than 5 guys before the rule was instated. 

“I’m fine. I was protecting the Hatake weapon room. You should have waited for me before engaging” Kakashi chided taking a closer look at some of the guys. They were all men and they appeared to each be wearing shinobi headbands, some in the wrong places but still clearly leaf village ninja. 

“Oh, good” Asuma smiled looking back at the group of incapacitated shinobi. “Don’t stress it, kid. These guys look like they’re genin level. They didn’t notice you were in the house and didn’t hear me sneak up on them” he explained but Kakashi was beginning to get a different idea. 

He bent forward and took a deep breath before grimacing. “I don’t think they’re genin, but they are very drunk” Kakashi corrected and Asuma followed his lead and smelt the air around the group. 

“Oh dang” Asuma gagged pushing Kakashi further from them in disgust. “Yeah they’re probably hammered.” he agreed, moving the both of them towards the phone. “Give me one minute. I know a guy in ANBU who can bring some people here to get these guys out of the way.” he explained dialing a number. Kakashi could tell by the way Asuma was speaking that the ‘friend’ he had called was one of his assigned ANBU. As much as the older boy pretended he wasn’t Lord Third’s kid and had privileges, he definitely still was. Assigned ANBU was a part of that deal. 

“He’ll be by soon with some backup.” Asuma told him when he hung up. Kakashi was more focused on the state of his plates. From the looks of it, they had only left the teacup saucers in the cupboards. “Oh” Asuma said following his line of sight. “That sucks huh? Sorry bout that. Maybe we can pick out some new things for you tomorrow. You just got back from a mission right?” he asked and Kakashi nodded. 

“Hai, Minato Sensei should be back by now as well,” Kakashi answered and Asuma stiffened. 

“Like Minato and Shikaku Sensei?” he asked and Kakashi nodded eyeing the other boy suspiciously. 

“Is that not good?” he asked and Asuma sighed. 

“Shikaku lives really close to the friend of mine and if he is walking home and sees a group headed this way-”

Asuma was interrupted by the sound of a foot crunching against the glass by the entry. When the two turned they could see Shikaku and a few ANBU coming inside. Huh. Asuma was right. “I could follow to see what the H*ll you’ve done this time?” Shikaku finished folding his arms over his chest. 

“It wasn’t my fault this time!” Asuma denied and Shikaku motioned for them to move out of the way of the ANBU squad. 

Shikaku sighed before turning to Kakashi. “You ok? They didn’t come to take anything did they?” he must know that I have a lot of equipment. Kakashi shook his head and Shikaku smiled. “Good,” he said looking at Asuma again. “Go on and give the report to Bear so he can leave. I’m sure everyone is tired at this point.” the man ordered and Asuma walked back over to one of the men to explain the details. That must be his friend.

“Kakashi” he turned back to Shikaku, expecting some kind of order for himself. “Is anyone staying with you right now? I know Minato just got back with me.” he asked and Kakashi shook his head. No one had stayed in the house since Gai had forced a sleepover a few months ago. He watched the older man’s face turn sour with the information. “I don’t suppose you’re willing to leave the house with the current damages?” he asked and Kakashi shook his head again. 

“No, Shikaku sensei. I’ll need to repair the door and the window before I can leave the weapons room by itself” Kakashi agreed and Shikaku nodded. 

“I figured that would be the case.” he said and Kakashi watched him look around at the state of the house. “Guess I’m crashing at your place then. It’s unsafe to be the only shinobi here when there’s been a recent break-in.” 

“Ooh can I stay too then!?” Asuma smiled bouncing over, clearly having finished talking with the ANBU who had disappeared from the kitchen along with the passed-out pile of shinobi. Woah. I need to learn how to do that. I didn’t hear a sound. “It’ll be a sleepover” Asuma smiled but Shikaku smacked him lightly on the head. 

“Absolutely not. You did well responding to Kakashi’s call and getting back up but you need sleep for our mission tomorrow. Plus, your dad would kill me if he woke up and you were missing” Shikaku sighed. He sighs a lot. 

“We have a mission tomorrow?” Asuma questioned sounding happy. 

“Yeah, but it’ll quickly go from B to D rank if you don’t scram” Shikaku ordered and Asuma ran out of the house faster than Kakashi had ever seen him. Kakashi took the time to walk over to the door and assess the damage. With a firm shove, the wood fell back into place. The lock however was completely beyond saving. 

“Well kid, you got a futon lying around anywhere? I’ll sleep in front of the door to keep watch” Shikaku asked and Kakashi left to grab the futon Minato Sensei had left on his last visit. What’s one more unsolicited sleepover. Gai is never gonna let me hear the end of it if he finds out.

Chapter Text

Kakashi had come to terms with the idea that he may need assistance on occasion. Having comrades proved to be a useful tool in his time as a ninja. He’d been working as a chunin for about a year now and he was nearing his birthday soon. Even with his newfound experiences and appreciation for the list that Kurenai made him, there was still one name he was certain he would never have need for. 

“Kakashi!” Gai greeted loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the market. Kakashi always tried to duck when walking by the ten-year-old. He was way too enthusiastic about life. Unfortunately, it was also true that Gai knew when Kakashi’s birthday was after having glanced at his graduation sheet from the academy. 

“Gai” Kakashi sighed in return, continuing his walk through town. 

“What are you up to, my eternal rival?” he asked stepping in front of Kakashi. The Hatake easily sidestepped him and kept going. “I was thinking” Gai continued in a light jog to keep up, “We should hang out today! Enjoy the springtime of youth!”

Always talking about the springtime of our youth. I fail to see how this could be like spring. Maybe cause Gai is as annoying as chirping birds. “I’m busy” Kakashi declined but Gai seemed to be determined to succeed. He took larger strides to keep up with Kakashi’s attempts to get away and put his hand on the younger boy's shoulder.

“Kakashi! The best Shinobi learns from his comrades! If you are out to train, why don’t we train together? Surely that would be the most effective!” Gai offered with that annoying smile of his. He’s different today. It’s not his usual insistence, this is something else. He’s plotting something? Whatever it is, I definitely do not want to be a part of it. 

“I should really be going Gai. Maybe some other time” Kakashi pulled out of Gai’s hold to leave but was yet again interrupted. 

“If we don’t train” Gai started seeming desperate. His face had a hint of panic and the ease of his smile had completely left him. “Maybe we can go get something to eat? It is good to keep our energy up!” 

Kakashi sighed but stopped his stroll. Eating is better than useless training. Gai only ever trains in Tai Jutsu, and I’m doing exceedingly well at that. If I do this, he might leave me alone. “Alright, where do you want to eat?” He asked begrudgingly. The other boy didn’t seem to notice or at least didn’t care, that he seemed bored. Gai happily smiled and started to walk in the direction of the shop they were going to have lunch in. 

Kakashi had never really understood Gai. They had next to nothing in common, except that they both planned on being shinobi. I’m beginning to doubt his ability to move beyond Genin at this rate. Even as they found their seat in the BBQ place, Gai was smiling and talking all about his new training regimen. I wonder if he grows tired of talking to me like a wall. He watched his ‘rival’ order food for them both and mentally shook his head. No, probably not.

“Do you have plans for after lunch? We could do a challenge!” Gai suggested when the waitress walked away to get their food. 

“I have to train with Pakkun” Kakashi explained and Gai frowned. 

“Don’t you train with Pakkun all the time?” he asked and Kakashi’s eyes narrowed. 

“Don’t you talk obnoxiously all the time?” Kakashi countered and saw Gai’s eyes dim a bit. Good. You deserve it for thinking that Pakkun wouldn’t be an efficient Training partner. 

“I talk with enthusiasm!” Gai smiled and Kakashi was happy to take the out when their food arrived. It wasn’t that often that he shared his meals with company outside of mission times. Though, Minato was getting in the bad habit of inviting him consistently for dinner if they didn’t have some sort of team activity. Kakashi didn’t mind as much now as he did when he was younger. Originally he was paranoid that it would be seen as weakness, but after seeing the Hokage share a meal with Iruka Umino, he figured it wouldn’t do too much harm. 

As soon as his plate was clean he left some bills on the table and started walking out into the street. Don’t follow me Gai. Please. Even with his wishful thinking, he could hear the genin run out of the restaurant after him. Even if I start running now, he’ll catch up. He’s too fast. “Go home Gai” Kakashi ordered when he knew that the other was within hearing distance. 

“But my Rival! I was thinking you could come see the training setup I’ve organized! I would even let you run a few rounds” Gai called after him, loud enough to draw the attention of everyone around. I would hate to be stuck on a stealth mission with you. It was by the grace of the Hokage that you weren’t placed on a team with me. 

“No Gai” 

“But Kakashi-”

“I said no!” Kakashi snapped and Gai dropped his smile. Good, maybe he’ll give up and let me go home. He walked towards Kakashi with a more saddened expression and sighed. He’s really going to push this again.

“My friend-” friend?

“We are not friends!” Kakashi yelled, feeling his blood boil as it rushed to his face. I tried to be nice. “I do not want to go home and train or eat or do anything with you. I want to go home and train, on my own . We have no use for each other and it is inane that you keep following me around” Kakashi all but growled. He looked around and saw he had successfully pulled even more eyes to look at them. The same eyes that follow him constantly for being the son of a man he hates. I need to go home and sleep.  

Gai visibly flinched and frowned at his outburst. Hmm, I don’t think I’ve seen him frown like that before. It almost looked like tears were welling up in the ten-year-old’s eyes, but he wrote that off as impossible. Shinobis don’t cry. “Ok,” he whispered folding his arms over his chest. “Get good training Kakashi” and then Gai did the last thing Kakashi expected, he walked away first. 

Hmm. that’s odd. Maybe I was a bit too harsh… Kakashi sighed and started in the direction of his house. There isn’t exactly much I can do about it now. Even if I had something to apologize for, which I don’t. Then I’d have to follow him and I’m pretty sure he wanted to be alone. Kakashi almost laughed at his own idea. Gai wanting to be alone? Yeah no, that can’t be it. “It’s his own fault anyway. I told him to go home” he muttered in reassurance to himself. 

It was easy enough to unlock his door and take off his shoes to start his daily cleaning routine. The team had just come home from a longer mission, so he was pretty sure the house would need a good dusting. Kakashi was quick to go to his cleaning cupboard and pull out his supplies, but something was getting to him. Making his stomach turn in odd ways, like when Minato Sensei would scold him. 

Gai was the one in the wrong…I deserve alone time If I want it. Nothing in the shinobi handbook says I have to be friends with my comrades. He pushed any other thoughts to the side as he scrubbed the counters. Kakashi was really good at that. Pushing away thoughts that distracted him from the mission. Thoughts of other people or the past. He knew they wouldn’t help him, they never had before. 

He made his way through the living room and began finishing the dining area when he glanced up and saw his list from Kurenai, still stapled and laminated to his wall. Gai. He felt his stomach turning get even worse and knew he was about to do something he would regret. He sighed and rose to his feet from where he had been scrubbing the floor. His wall phone rang a few times once he put the number in. Come on Gai, I know you went home. 

“Gai?” the voice answered and Kakashi immediately recognized it as Asuma’s voice. “Did you get Kakashi to start heading over here? Rin set up the candles on the cake and everything,” he asked and Kakashi felt his whole body go cold. 

Cake? Rin made a cake? But that means that Gai had set up a party..for me. His stomach felt even worse. He slammed the phone back on the wall and rushed to get his shoes. Sh*t. I have to find Gai. Find him, apologize for screaming, then go with him to some stupid A** party, because if Rin is there then so is Obito and definitely Minato Sensei. Kakashi slammed his door as a shudder went through his body. And worse, if Minato sensei is there, then so is Kushina. 

Kakashi had never planned on searching the village for Gai, and it shows. He started with the training grounds, but that yielded no results. Neither did the great stone faces, the local shops, or the wall around the village. So he’s not in any of my usual spots then. And there’s no way he’s in the library. Where would I go if I was a shinobi with the mental capacity of a determined squirrel?.. Kakashi almost gasped when he realized that he knew another place to look. 

The roof of the academy had a small training post for the genin to use during lunch. He remembered Gai coming up to practice his punches for hours even after class had long ended. It seemed his memory served well since he found who he was looking for. Gai’s kicks landed hard against the wooden surface of the training post. 

Alright. Apologize and fix it. Rin said it's supposed to be easy. “I-” Kakashi started and saw Gai pause his training to spin around and face him. He was sweaty and Kakashi could only imagine the bruises that would be on his hands later that night. Just do it Hatake. “I shouldn’t have yelled earlier, in the middle of town.” he started and Gai’s eyes widened. His body language screamed surprise to see Kakashi talking to him willingly. The boy’s eyebrows shot up to match his gaze and his mouth parted slightly. It can’t really be that shocking that I can admit a fault. All shinobi have flaws somewhere. 

“I shouted as well” Gai offered still not smiling the way Kakashi had grown accustomed to. I must have left something-oh wait….Sh*t, alright fine.

“I, uh, I didn’t really mean that you aren’t my uh, friend” Kakashi cringed on the last word like he had eaten a bad grain of rice. Finish strong and move on. Kushina is waiting. “Sorry or whatever. We can go look at your equipment” he sighed and Gai’s entire face did a complete 180. He smiled and ran to grab Kakashi’s hand and drag him to his house. 

“Apology accepted my eternal rival!” Gai beamed. “You’re going to be very surprised by my setup!” you are the worst at being secretive oh my g*d. Kill me now Minato Sensei.

Chapter Text

Kakashi had never been particularly close to Genma. It’s not that he had anything against him, but they didn’t have a lot in common. They were both quiet and didn’t like drama, which meant they didn’t really interact all that often. The presence of his name on Kurenai’s stupid list had never made any sense before.

It does now.

Genma had a certain list of qualities not held by the other shinobi that Kakashi knew. He was smart, calm, unproblematic, and a bit sarcastic, but most importantly, he is the only person that wouldn’t immediately tattle to Minato sensei. Rin, Gai, Raido, Asuma, literally anyone else will immediately call him or the Hokage. I have no other choice. 

At 10 years old, there were certain activities that Kakashi was unable to do. Things that all children should be allowed, but the law states otherwise. Most of the time, Kakashi didn’t mind the laws since he had vowed to follow them, but today he had no patience. 

“ I’m sorry hun, but I can’t sell you any medication if you are under the age of 18, or below chunin rank.” the store clerk said. 

“I am chunin! I’ve been saying that this whole time. I just need some stupid cold medicine” Kakashi yelled, aggravating his sore throat. 

“Right” the clerk smiled. “And I’m the Hokage” she deadpanned soon after before pointing to the wall phone. “Either call someone who can buy it for you, or get out of the store,” she warned.

Thus Kakashi’s current situation. Kurenai’s list had multiplied into a pocket version when the teams started to get portable phones. He pulled out the folded piece of paper and quickly found Genma’s name before taping the buttons for his phone number.

“Hello, Shiranui residence” A woman on the other line answered. Sh*t I forgot he has parents. Kakashi sniffled and tried to clear his throat a bit before responding.

“I’m calling for Genma-Kun, is he home? This is Kakashi Hatake” he replied and he heard hushed voices for a moment. 

“Yes! He’s right here honey” The woman confirmed before the phone shuffled around. 

“Kakashi? What’s going on dude?” Genma asked cooly. 

Ah, now to explain. “I am at the general store on main street, the one owned by the Chan’s?” he began and he heard Genma hum. 

“Yeah, I’m familiar with it. Gai has bought protein bars from there. You have a problem with the store?” the older boy asked. 

“Not really a problem per se. I need someone to come and validate that I am of chunin age. The cashier doesn’t believe me and won’t let me buy my things” he admitted with a bit of a grumble, knowing full well the cashier could hear him. “Are you busy right now?” he asked shifting his weight on the heels of his feet. 

There was muffled yelling on the line before he heard Genma reply, “I’ll be there in five.” The phone line died after that so Kakashi placed the phone back on the wall. Hmm. he must live closer to the market than I thought. Coughing and sniffling he did his best to look normal as he stared at the door for his friend to come. 

If anyone else I know comes in, I’m screwed. He had done his best to be disguised, but most shinobi could see through it. He wore a dark blue hoodie from Kushina-Sama, his training sweats, and of course his mask. Only a single eye was visible on his face. Usually, the mask was a benefit to him, but currently, it made him feel more stuffed up and cut off from the oxygen he was already struggling for. 

The bell of the shop rang and Genma walked in, senbon in his mouth as usual. “Kakashi, what are we buying” the teen greeted coming over to see what Kakashi had in his basket. The blue plastic was currently holding some instant ramen, cold compresses, and tissues. “Hm, I thought you didn’t like instant stuff” Genma commented walking with him back to the counter. I knew I could count on him to ignore everything else. 

“It's ok” Kakashi mumbled trying not to sniffle while anyone could hear him. 

“Oh, you a chunin then kid?” the cashier asked when they got up to her. Genma nodded and held up his ID. of course he didn’t forget his ID. I usually never need mine.  

“Yes ma’am.” he confirmed and she sighed pulling out the medicine bottles. 

“Well alright then. I assume you consent to buying cold medication for the kid?” she asked and Genma looked down at Kakashi with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah sure.” he agreed, turning back the bane of Kakashi’s existence. “Do you need anything else or just those?” the teen asked him, pulling out some cash. 

“I can buy it” Kakashi interjected, coughing immediately with the use of his voice. 

“The whole point is you can’t actually” the cashier sneered and he almost quit coughing out of pure spite. 

“It's fine Kakashi. I wanted to get some Chips anyway” he waved off pulling a chip bag from the nearby stand. “I can get this too.” the older boy said in sync with snatching Kakashi’s basket. Kakashi reached up to stop him but Genma had already succeeded in putting it on the counter, in the hands of the devil cashier. 

“I can pay you back” Kakashi sniffled but Ganma shook his head. 

“Nah it’s all good. I have too much money right now, to be honest. My parents want me to start some sort of savings fund so this will get them off my back” he denied grabbing the plastice grocery bags from the woman and giving them gently to Kakashi. “You got these?” he asked and Kakashi sighed. 

“I am fine to get home” He may hide it better, but he’s just as weirdly protective as the rest of them. “Thank you, and sorry for interrupting dinner” he apologized. 

“No problem. You can come spot me next time.” Genma offered with a smile as they separated in the streets to walk home. 

Kakashi didn’t run back, in an effort to save his lungs, but he did keep his head down. He knew that others could be watching and while he knew he wasn’t followed, he couldn’t say the same for Genma. 

The minute he stepped in his door and locked the house, he ripped down the mask and took a few congested breaths. 

“Kashi! Oh, baby” the sudden presence of another person made him jump, dropping his groceries. His foot backed into the wall and he almost fell but steady arms caught him by his elbows. 

“Easy, Kashi.” the person behind him directed. He looked up and found Minato sensei frowning down at him. His sensei’s hand came up and felt his forehead, pushing back his hood in the process. “He has a fever, Kushina.” Minato announced and turning his head Kakashi found the voice from earlier was a familiar redhead Kunoichi. 

Both of them were in their mission uniforms and had their headbands on. They must have just finished a mission or patrol then. Upon closer inspection of Kushina, she seemed to be holding his tea set as well. They’ve been here a while then.

Kakashi struggled from his sensei’s grasp, coughing as he did so. “I’m fine Minato sensei.” he denied glaring a bit at the blonde before directing his gaze at Kushina. “Why are you here?” He asked hating how his stuffy voice gave him away. 

Kushina put her hand on her hips and huffed. “Kashi-Chan you are clearly sick. We wanted to come check on you! You aren’t fine and you need good food that isn’t instant, as much as I approve of the ramen” she said amused and Kakashi hurried to put all the evidence back into the fallen grocery bags. Minato was quick to help him and take the bags towards the kitchen. 

“I don’t need you to check on me”  Kakashi argued, smelling the Korean BBQ as he stepped into his dining room. He automatically took the tissue passed by his sensei when they sat without thinking about it. 

“Of course not” Minato agreed with a smile. Moving the tea cup from the tray to sit in front of his student. Kushina had placed it down and moved on to dishing up plates for the group. “But, food is better when you share it! Plus Kushina and I missed you while we were away.”

“You were only gone for a few days” Kakashi mumbled taking a sip. If it had been any longer, I would’ve noticed. Fever or not.  

“Are you saying you didn’t miss me Kashi? That’s not very nice ya know” Kushina teased placing a plate of steaming food beside his cup. The tea was already doing wonders for his throat. “You’re out of luck then mister, I already made up another bed and the couch so that Minato and I could spend the night” she sighed and Kakashi's eyes snapped up. 

“That's-” he started but Minato interrupted. 

“Fun right? We even brought some movies so that you could relax sitting upright it should help with the sniffle you have going on. How long have you been sick anyways?” his sensei asked and Kakashi wanted to bang his head into the table. 

I am going to kill Genma

Chapter Text

Kakashi always hated this time of year. When the trees were dying and everyone stayed inside. The old Hatake estate seemed to creak and grow colder than usual, especially when the first snow fell. He had been working hard the past few days to make the house as warm as possible and wash the extra blankets so that his bed would be suitable. 

More than the weather, Kakashi didn’t have good memories on this particular week. As he sat at the gravestone of his father, he was painfully reminded of why. 

“I’ll never be like you” Kakashi promised, hands in his pockets to keep them warm. He didn’t know why he chose to come out here. He didn’t bring flowers or reminisce over good times. He didn’t even really believe in talking to the dead, but the idea of going back to the house made him feel nauseous.  His winter boots crunched against the snow when he stood and wiped off the granite grave top. 

His coat didn’t keep quite all the chills away as he made the journey back home. The streets had next to no one in them, save a few snowball fights. The school was out for the snow day and because of the impending storm, Minato sensei had canceled training as well. Kakashi understood that the storms were tricky in war times, they made an excellent cover for enemy troops, but deep down he missed his teacher. They hadn’t gone on missions for a week since the snowing started and training only lasted about an hour on the days before. 

He tried not to let the loneliness get to him. Thinking about it wouldn’t make it better and Minato sensei wasn’t responsible for his standoffish personality. Shinobi don’t need friends or company. They complete the mission. This belief allowed the young Hatake to arrive home in a timely manner and hang his thick winter coat and scarf by the door. 

Coming into the living room, he couldn’t help but remember the last time it was this cold in the house. He was spared the painful memory last year because his sensei took him on a mission. He wasn’t so lucky this time. He had to face head-on the distant smell of blood that had pooled at his feet on the center of their floor. 

Why did you have to die? Why were you so weak to leave me? To betray Konoha? Kakashi couldn’t stand the thoughts that plagued him. He searched for anything else to think about and spotted something sitting on his couch. He walked over and found it was Minato sensei’s Kunai pouch. Several scroll kunai sat inside the bag with the Kanji that Minato used to teleport. 

Sensei’s kunai. He’ll need these. The boy glanced up at the phone with the bag in his hands. I could call him? He might be home and could just stop by for a second to grab them. If he’s free, he could stay- Kakashi shook his head at his own line of thinking. No no, I shouldn’t bother him when he is on call for missions. He sat down and went to grab a book when the wall phone seemed to taunt him by remaining in sight. 

Well, maybe just calling wouldn’t hurt? It's not like I’m gonna ask him to come over. I just want him to know where it is. Standing from the couch he made the mistake of looking at the new carpet he bought. 

So much blood and Tou-san… Kakashi tried to stop his chest from catching and rapidly wiped at his face. I’ll just call him and tell him about the kunai. It’s better to be alone anyway. He probably has better things to be doing. Steadying any trembling his body may have felt he skid across the fibers of the carpet and ventured into the kitchen. 

The wall by the table still held the familiar list Kurenai had made for him two years ago. Laminated after the blood incident and stapled to the wall from when the guys tore it off the wall when they came to steal his father’s things. He grabbed the phone and dialed his teacher's number, bouncing on his feet as he waited for the ringing to pause. 

“Hello, this is Minato Namikaze, who am I speaking with?” his teacher answered sounding as happy as ever. Why does his voice alone make me feel better? The house being empty suddenly feels much worse than it was this morning.

“Minato Sensei, this is Kakashi” he replied simply.

“Kakashi! Hey, what’s up?”

“You left your specialized Kunai at my house.” Kakashi began chewing his cheek as he debated what more to say. I want you to come over…I don’t want to be alone in dad’s house where he died…I miss him, but I hate him. “I- uh” he cleared his throat and tried again. “I figured you might need them if you get called in for a mission.” I can’t say any of that. 

There was a moment of silence on the line, and for a second, Kakashi thought that he had been hung up on. But then Minato cleared his throat and replied. “I see, well thank you for telling me. You’re right, I do need those. I’ll come by tonight for them.” his teacher assured but Kakashi’s heart sank. 

Tonight could be as long as seven hours from now… He knew he couldn’t blame his sensei, after all he hadn’t asked him to come. “Hai Sensei. Bye” Kakashi spoke before quickly slamming the phone back into place. He isn’t coming, and he clearly doesn’t remember. He slipped his back against the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. I don’t know why I thought he would. It’s not like I need anyone here. There was no one around to witness the tears that quickly began soaking into the fabric of his sleaves or the way that his chest stuttered on oxygen. 

Tou-san, Why? It was a question he had asked a lot since his father passed. No one had ever had an answer for him. 

“I’m so sorry” Minato sensei whispered when he came that day. “Your father loved you” he insisted. Kakashi sat in the middle of his teacher's apartment and cried. Begged. 

“Why did he leave? He left me” he sobbed, but Minato sensei, Jiraya, and even the Hokage never could give him a reasonable answer. 

Kakashi’s body hitched with his sobs as he did his best not to think of the blood or the sight he had been subjected to. He already felt like he could be sick and the cold of the house only made him feel more alone. He shoved his face fully into his curled-up form and ignored the world around him. I hate you, Tou-san.

The house continued to freeze and, due to his distractions, Kakashi failed to notice that his door was unlocked. This was why when he felt a hand land on his shoulder, his entire body jolted. Someone's in the house- . As his head snapped up, face covered in tears, he found Minato sensei staring at him with a sad frown. 

“Kashi-” the man started but Kakashi couldn’t let him finish. He jumped for the older man and wrapped his arms around his mission vest. Don’t go. I know you’re here for the kunai but please don’t leave. I hate this house. I hate Tou-san, but I need someone. Just sometimes. Minato grunted at the initial impact but was otherwise unphased by the added weight on his chest. Kakashi felt arms wrap firmly around him as his body shook with sobs. 

“Shhh” his sensei hushed rubbing circles on his back. “I’m here Kakashi. Everything’s gonna be ok.” Minato promised, voice rumbling by Kakashi’s ear. He said he wasn’t coming. I should stop crying, maybe then he’ll stay. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m so sorry”

Kakashi cried harder at the repetition. He said that back then too. “I h-hate him” Kakashi admitted sniffling loudly with his tears. His sensei didn’t show any surprise if he felt it. 

“Shh” he said in response and Kakashi felt them move off the floor so that Minato could hold him up better. Is he leaving? Kakashi gripped his hands deep into the fabric of Minato's suit in a surge of panic. “It's too cold for the floor, I’m just moving us. It’s ok Kashi. I’m not leaving” his sensei assured walking them over to the couch and sitting with him in his lap. 

Kakashi wasn’t sure how long he cried but at one point it was becoming exhausting and making him feel sick. I need to stop. It’s just annoying him now, Tou-san doesn’t deserve it…Tou-san. The thoughts of his father didn’t help to calm him in the slightest. “Kashi, you need to breathe, ok? I’m not going anywhere tonight.” Minato sensei instructed taking some exaggerated breaths for Kakashi to copy. 

“You still haven’t seen that new movie right? The one I brought over last time.” his teacher randomly brought up letting Kakashi keep his head against his chest. “I bet it’s still in your DVD player.” he continued and Kakashi felt him stop rubbing his back to reach for the remote. He isn’t leaving. It's gonna be fine. He did remember. He remembered me. A few seconds later and peaceful singing from the children’s movie Minato brought last week began playing as background noise. 

His teacher never once let him go or asked him to stop crying. He just let Kakashi rest on his lap until eventually, he fell asleep. Kakashi would after realize that Minato sensei would never leave him…until a few years after that when he did. But for now, the two had each other, and that was enough.

Chapter Text

Kakashi always followed the rules, because those who break the rules are scum…but sometimes, the lines get a little blurry. Especially in times of war, Shinobi often found themselves in uncharted territory. The most recent blur involved a jounin who had asked Kakashi to come along on a mission with him for extra manpower. Kakashi being the ripe ol’ age of seven didn’t consider whether he should clear said mission with his new genin team or his sensei. Needless to say, mistakes were made.

The jounin he had been working with, was incompetent as a ninja. Kakashi had ended up doing most of the work and covering for his partner’s sloppy form and combat tactics. As a result, Kakashi had taken a fairly rough blow when jumping around. He had shrugged off the pain in the moment, but now that they were back home…

“sh*t” Kakashi cursed holding his arm close to his chest. He had quickly discovered the break between his wrist and elbow but more than that his arm was difficult to move. I probably dislocated the shoulder too. Kakashi could do many things with just one hand, but open a childproof pain killer bottle and splint his dislocated and broken arm, was not one of them. 

I have to fix this without going to the hospital..if I call Kurenai, then she’ll definitely tell Minato sensei I went on a mission without him. He glanced up at the updated list on his wall from Kurenai. Along with the addition of Obito and Kushina, he was reminded that Rin was a medical ninja. I could…no she would definitely rat me out right? Moving towards the phone he felt his arm sting with pain. Guess I just have to risk it. He used his good arm to dial the number and wait for his new teammate to answer. 

“Hello?” A woman asked on the line once again reminding Kakashi that not every shinobi was an orphan. 

“Hi, this is Kakashi Hatake of team 7. I am looking to speak with Rin Nohara?” he asked as politely as he could manage when in pain. 

“Oh hello! I’ll go get her right now” the woman greeted before shuffling could be heard on the line. Soon enough the phone was transferred to his intended target. 

“Kakashi-Kun?” Rin asked sounding a bit suspicious. Smart. It's safe to assume I would never call her. 

“Rin,” Kakashi confirmed, sighing.  This is gonna suck . “I need you to come to the Hatake Compound. Do you know where that is?” he asked.

“Hi! I didn’t even know you knew my number” Rin greeted as happily as always. “Oh and I do know where you live. Minato sensei told me where everyone lives in case of emergency. Did something happen?” she asked confused. Fair enough. I wish we didn’t have to hold such a long conversation about it though. My arm is on fire. 

“I need you to bring your medical bag. I’ll fill you in on everything else when you get here” Kakashi instructed before hanging up the wall phone. There. Now she can’t ask more questions. Now all he had to do was wait for her to show up. The Nohara’s live only a street down so at max it would be five minutes. Just enough time to change .

Kakashi forced himself to trek through the house and into his room. The adjacent bathroom was the perfect place to stash the mission clothes that had gotten bloodied in the battle. If Rin sees these, she’ll definitely know and then think I need to go to the hospital. The boy briefly considered patching up some of the cuts before he heard a knock at the door. “Coming!” he called running, arm held to his chest, to get the door. 

Rin Nohara. She wasn’t the dumbest girl that Kakashi knew. Kurenai was still the most competent in their age group in terms of medical ninjutsu, but she was more determined and less emotional than some of the other recruits. Besides Obito’s obvious attachment to her, she was a pivotal part of their team. However, outside of their missions, she was unfortunately like most of the other kids their age. 

“Kakashi! Oh my gosh, you look awful! Give me a minute to get my shoes off” She greeted pushing her way into his house. He huffed but shut the door behind her with his good arm. “What happened? We didn’t have training and you haven’t been going off on your own right? Did someone hurt you?” she asked in quick succession turning to examine him. Overall he really could’ve been in worse shape all things considered. The cuts were already scabbing up so the break was the only real issue. 

“I’m fine, just a training accident” Kakashi brushed off much to Rin’s disappointment if her glare was anything to go by. Crap.

“You aren’t supposed to be training without us, you know that. Minato sensei said that you overdo it in training too often.” She chided poking at one of the cuts on his arm. His bad arm. sh*t . He flinched back involuntarily and gasped at the stinging sensation. Rin’s posture immediately stiffened. She placed her hand on her hips and held out her free arm expectantly. “Let me see, Kakashi” she ordered gently. 

I called for her. I need her help. Kakashi reasoned with himself. He was clamming up. Limbs feeling all shaky and his arm aching more than ever. The thought of letting Rin touch it was beginning to feel as freaky as the hospital. I can’t just let it heal on its own. I need her to fix it. That’s how I can be a strong ninja. He forced himself to sit on the step by his entry as she did the same. Gently placing his arm in her hands he watched her face drain of color. 

“Kakashi! This is broken! Oh, kami you must be in a lot of pain” she exclaimed letting go carefully so she could rush to his kitchen and search for a cup. She quickly was able to find a smaller one and fill it with tap water. “How did you manage to do this if you were training on your own?” she asked coming to sit next to him and give him the cup. The cool air radiating from the water felt nice in his hand even if he had to deal with Rin talking way too loud for indoors. 

“I fell”

“You fell?” she deadpanned placing some pain medicine in his hands.

“..out of a tree” Technically true-ish.

“You have the best balance of anyone on our team. In our grade for that matter.” Kakashi allowed her to grab at his sleeve to see the wound better. The deep purple bruise was clear as day, but thankfully there was no sign that the bone had been displaced. She wouldn’t have to set it which was to the benefit of them both. “You need a hospital for this” she muttered and Kakashi couldn’t help the stiffness that spread through his body. Every part of his brain was already screaming to throw her out of the house. 

“I don’t do hospitals,” he said instead. 

“All shinobi ‘do hospitals.’ if you don't, you die. We have mandated medical checks. How do you usually get yours done then?” She asked sounding genuinely curious as she turned to dig through her medical bag. 

An interesting question. Telling the truth will probably make her more willing to help without telling Minato sensei though. “Kurenai became cleared to do medical checks a few weeks ago. She’s moving on to learning gen jutsu now.” he answered. Rin pulled out some wrap bandages and cotton before continuing the riveting exchange. 

“A few weeks doesn’t cover the amount of time you would have needed medical checks.” Rin observed reaching for his arm again. He complied. 

“Is it really necessary to know all the details?”

“Do you want me to not go to a hospital and sensei?” 

And you’re the sweet one. Kushina needs to stop spending so much time around you. “...Lady Tsunade doesn’t mind and sometimes Minato sensei will do it if I don’t have injuries.” he confessed. The cotton was definitely going to be itchy later but it felt nice when Rin pulled it to be tight against his skin as she wrapped the bandage over the top. 

“Lady Tsunade? The Legendary Sanin? I didn’t realize you guys were close” She sounded surprised which made sense. Kakashi didn’t exactly advertise his connections with two of the three legendary sanin to everyone. She only helped him avoid the hospital because Jiraya asked her to, so he didn’t think she would appreciate him spreading it around. 

“I’m not ‘close’ with anyone. She’s a comrade.” Kakashi corrected only to have Rin smile at him. 

“Of course not. That’s why you have a list of phone numbers laminated and stapled to your wall. Just for shinobi work right?” she asked sounding far too amused as she cut off the end of the bandage. It had been wrapped from his elbow to his hand and in between his thumb as well. It would limit his movement, but it seemed pretty mobile. It doesn’t hurt now either. He noticed suddenly when he shifted it. 

“Be careful” Rin chided keeping a hold on the arm. “Just because you can’t feel it doesn’t mean it isn’t hurt” she warned reaching into the bag to pull out a sling. He allowed her to pull his arm through it and loop the strap around his neck. “If I see you without the cast or the sling for at least the next 3 weeks I will personally drag you to the hospital and tell Minato sensei that you’ve been training without us.” she doesn’t sound so sweet when she’s threatening me. 

“I didn’t make the list” Kakashi mumbled ignoring the threat altogether. 

“Well whoever made it, tell them thank you for me.” she instructed before placing one hand at the top of his shoulder and the other at the base of his elbow. “I need to put your arm back in place and unfortunately you are going to feel it ok?” 

T his is what I get for not wanting the hospital. He nodded and she wasted no time before shoving his arm into his chest causing him to gasp at the sudden return of feeling in his arm. 

“Breathe its ok” she told him rubbing at his shoulder to relax the strain. He let air come back to his lungs slowly and then used his good arm to wipe the tears that had come from the shock. Giving a quick test he found the arm was a bit mobile even if he wouldn’t be able to fight with it. I’ll just have to train with my other arm. 

“Does that feel better?” she asked and he nodded mumbling his thanks. Rin beamed before standing up and stretching. “I like my teammates to not be in pain when they can help it. Oh,” she turned to look him in the eyes as she picked up her bag. “Feel free to call me next time too. If something hurts or you feel off. I live closer than Kurenai so its safer that way.”

Kakashi nodded. Fair enough. If she keeps this a secret, then I can come up with a story to tell Minato sensei. She slipped on her shoes and opened his front door before giving her final words. 

“Oh and Kakashi, I know a lying 7-year-old when I hear one. I don’t know how you really hurt your arm, but don’t do it again. Kay” she winked and then went sprinting. “See ya later!” she called over her shoulder and Kakashi shuddered. 

She’s going to be a pain to deal with. I can’t wait till I’m not on a team anymore.

Chapter Text

Cooking for himself was as easy as breathing, usually. At age 11, Kakashi had learned many kinds of dishes to prepare at home when he didn’t have missions. One of his favorite meals to cook was pan-fried noodles and fish. It was fairly easy to make and tasted delicious after a long day of training. The seasoning would fill the house and it had a proper balance of vegetables, carbs, and protein. After his father passed away, he had to quickly become self-sufficient in many areas, including cooking.

Kakashi moved around his kitchen as fluidly as he did around the battlefield. The house was old and could use some minor repairs, but everything worked for now and that was enough. Gathering spices and ingredients only took a few minutes to set up. On a day that Kakashi had more energy, he may have paused to check the stove before he flipped the burner. Unfortunately, he only had minimal energy and didn’t do that. Everything in the house was getting old and no one had ever explained when appliances should be replaced, so Kakashi was on borrowed time. He poured some oil into a pan with the noodles and turned the knob. 

Kakashi’s instincts was the only thing that saved him from a major burn when the entire pan caught fire. A plume of flame shot up, encompassed in the sound of sizzling oil. “D*mn it!” he cursed moving around the kitchen for his fire extinguisher. Forgot to check the burner! Carefully stepping forward to flip the burner off he drowned the pan in white foam in an effort to save his wooden cupboards…and house. 

After the last of the red flames faded he allowed his hand to slip off the fire extinguisher and view the aftermath. The food was not salvageable and the pan….the pan looked very bad. Time to start cleaning. Maybe I’ll eat out instead. He sighed and began moving the mess from the stove. Cleaning was usually therapeutic for Kakashi. However, as he started scrubbing at the pan, he soon realized his usual cleaning methods were not going to work. 

Sh*t. I only have one pan. The black sludge that seemed to stay cemented in place not only was immovable but still smelt like burnt noodles. None of his usual tricks were working. The black charcoal seemed to have become one with the metal. I…have no idea what to do now. Throwing away the pan seemed like a waste, and like giving up. Ever since Obito passed away, he never liked the idea of giving up on anything even if it was just a pan. Call it a mental block, but it motivated him well enough. 

Glancing around the kitchen for anything that could help he spotted the list of phone numbers above the kitchen table. His gaze scanned the name and hovered over one before he shook his head. No, no. I am not going to bother Kushina san with this. Looking back towards the terrible mess that was his favorite pan he sighed. No, I definitely am. D*mn it. 

Kushina as per usual answered immediately. “You’ve reached the Namikaze residence, Kushina Uzumaki speaking.” She greeted loudly. She was always loud and warm. Not in the sense that she had a temperature but that she made Kakashi feel at home. He would never tell her or take advantage of it, but it was nice to hear her talk all the same. 

“Hello Kushina san, It's Kakashi. Are you busy at the moment?” He asked and he heard her gasp dramatically on the other end. 

“Kashi! Hi! It’s been forever since you called here last.” Yes because I have social anxiety and I hate calling or bothering people. “No, I’m not busy at all! What’s up?” Kushina asked in return and Kakashi could hear her smile seep into her voice. She always called him Kashi as if he were still a child. A large part of him was bothered by the insinuation, but a smaller part thought it was nice that she liked him enough to give him a nickname. 

“You do the dishes, right?”

….

….

“Kakashi, I’m gonna need a lot more context for that question” Kushina deadpanned and Kakashi’s eyebrows furrowed. 

I said something wrong? That was a normal question, wasn’t it? “Hai. I need help and I was hoping you might know how to. If you aren’t available that’s fine-”

“You need help with the dishes? Sure!” Kushina interrupted back to her usual tone. I suppose I fixed it then. “I can be there in ten minutes ok? Don’t go anywhere” She ordered, hanging up before he could get a word in edgewise. That was often a part of talking with Kushina though, not finishing a sentence. She frequently felt the need to immediately state her opinion even if it meant interrupting someone else. 

In the meantime, the preteen did his best to scrub at the black fumes that appeared to have stained his kitchen wall. The washcloth was imprinting on his hand but the pressure and bleach didn’t seem to do anything to help his once white wall. I wonder if I could just paint over it? Would that cause any weird chemicals to embed into the wall?  

Some might be inclined to say that Kakashi was too focused on simple tasks, but he didn’t think so. Taking the time to ensure his home was clean, that his training was perfect, and that his cooking skills were up to par was simply a part of making sure he never made mistakes. He refused to mess up again. Even when he was learning to use only one eye, he refused to give himself any grace. He needed to adjust as quickly as possible to protect Rin and the village. 

Kushina never knocked, instead, she opened his door with Minato sensei’s key and waltzed into the kitchen. Her red hair was tied up, probably because of the summer heat, and she wore her usual mission clothes. She must have trained earlier today then. Unlike her usual self, she didn’t say anything to Kakashi as she took in the full view of the kitchen. Her eyes were glued to the black stain Kakashi had been adamantly working to scrub out of the wall.

“Oh my gosh” she spoke after gaping at it a good minute and a half. “What the H*ll happened in here?” If I tell her my oven exploded I’m pretty sure she’d freak out. Kushina came closer to rub her hand along the wall Kakashi had been scrubbing and then glanced at the oven. “Did you catch your pan on fire?” She asked sounding as if someone had spilled her ramen bowl. 

Is she upset at me then? The mess doesn’t really affect her at all. “I forgot to check that the stove was ok before turning it on and it…sort of exploded” Kakashi settled frowning at the aftermath. 

“Are you ok?!” she yelled, grabbing at his arms to get a better look. 

“I’m fine, my pan took the brunt of the damages” Kakashi assured pointing at the metal dish in his sink. Kushina approached it like it was a wild animal and barely peaked over the edge before visibly flinching back. It's not that bad. “Do you know how to fix it?” He asked hesitantly. The redhead bit her lip and rubbed the back of her neck. 

“Ahh” she started with a nervous laugh. “Of course, I can but first things first Kashi,” she smiled at him, “I bet you’re still hungry huh? I could definitely go for noodles myself right about now!” Kushina was always happy to find an excuse to take him out for dinner. Kakashi had his suspicions that Rin, Minato, and her would meet up and discuss who was going to try talking to him every day. No matter how many times he tried to push his training further he couldn’t seem to avoid them. 

He sighed knowing he couldn’t avoid the inevitable. “Sure Kushina san.” He agreed and allowed her to pull him out of his house and into the streets of Konoha. The village was relatively quiet due to the war. Many of the shinobi were out fighting save for a few Uchiha police that remained. Children stayed inside most nights and their parents wanted to spend all their days with them. 

It was no surprise when she took him to Ichiraku’s and quickly ordered them two large bowls of ramen. Kakashi and the rest of the village were well aware that it was her favorite place. Minato was a pretty big fan as well, so they came here often as a group. “I just sent a clone over to deal with the pan by the way” Kushina told him when Ichiraku began preparing the orders. 

Odd. I didn’t notice her forming a clone. “Sorry to cause trouble for you” He apologized quietly. It had been a while since he called ot talk to any of the team. Mostly because they weren’t much of a team anymore. Probably for the best in Kakashi’s opinion. He could protect them from a distance. 

“What a stupid thing to say” Kushina snapped, losing her previous smile. sh*t. I said something that upset her then. “You are not trouble Kashi-chan. Helping you is something I like doing and I won’t regret doing things I enjoy with the people I love.” She chided firmly. The cook had gone silent as he worked on dishing up their food at the outburst. It felt like Kushina was the only other being in all of Konoha as she stared at him. Love. He didn’t know what to say to that. “I am happy you called and even happier to be having dinner with you. You better eat a lot” She warned taking a lighter tone. 

With the slight change in moods two bowls were set in front of them with resounding thuds. “Dig in! On the house for Konoha’s finest” Ichiraku smiled and Kushina beamed. 

“I don’t know about finest but I can’t refuse free ramen!” Love. Kakashi was still stuck on the previous lecture. What am I meant to say now? Do? 

“Thank you”

Kakashi snapped his head up because he could tell Kushina was saying it in his direction and not Ichiraku’s. She was smiling at him in between her ramen bites. “You can say thank you when you see your clean pan.” she assured him as if she had read his mind. He nodded and began eating the warm noodles in front of him. 

After finishing the meal, and enduring Kushina going on and on about Minato sensei, they walked home. His pan was in the kitchen looking as good as the day Kakashi had bought it and he wondered what kind of MAgic Kushina was able to work. When she stayed with him as he cleaned he could only think one thing. 

I love you too, Kushina San.

Chapter Text

Obito had gotten the easy end of the deal. He had gone off into a cave and died. Granted, Kakashi felt it was his fault entirely, but he still didn’t find it fair that Obito got to leave him with Rin, Minato-Sensei, and Kushina all by himself. 

After Minato-Sensei found them on their way back to the village, they had immediately been escorted to the hospital. Rin was a mess. Sobbing and inconsolable the entirety of the check-up, completely oblivious to anything going on around them. Kakashi was the opposite. Sitting as a shell that could barely understand where they were. Minato-Sensei had to carry the both of them to the shared room they had. All three of them had spent the night while they monitored Kakashi’s post-surgery effects. 

It had been four weeks since then and Kakashi had finally brought himself to a training field. Gaining the Sharingan had been physically traumatizing and affected his Chakra reserves immensely. Without a way to turn it off, covering it with his headband was the only solution he could think of. Today he needed to pick up on the promise he had sworn. He needed to be able to protect Rin and the village. 

Squaring his shoulders and his feet, he lifted his headband and felt the chakra swim to his head. Don’t throw up. Opening his left eye he was bombarded with the visual prowess of Obito’s Kekkei Genkai. The chakra in the trees and across the field was suddenly so vivid and everything felt as if it was moving slow. Just one time. Use it one time today and I’ll go home. He reached down into his kunai bag and tried to grasp the metal but the dizziness began to fully seep into his body. 

His legs and arms felt as if he had never trained them in the first place. His ears began ringing and the metal slipped from his finger right back into his bag. sh*t. He had no control as the darkness crept into his vision and his nausea grew beyond control. Collapsing to the ground was likely foreseeable but still unwelcome. Minato-Sensei’s gonna kill me…and then Kushina will burn my body.  All consciousness fell away before he had any chance of calling for anyone. 

Waking up to the smell of sterile chemicals was almost as bad as falling asleep in enemy territory. It only meant one thing. The hospital.  

“You waking up hon?” he heard a woman ask nearby and he allowed his left eye to blurrily open to view the blinding white scenery. He was in a hospital bed and clearly had been there for quite a substantial amount of time since they had pulled down his mask. He reached up to his face and quickly pulled off the oxygen despite the nurse’s protests to replace it with his black mask. 

“How long have I been here?” He asked sitting up despite the fatigue. And who knows I’m here?

“Only about half an hour. A ninja from border patrol brought you in after finding you unconscious in the training fields. We checked your condition and we are trying to get ahold of your sensei but they’re having a hard time finding him. We’re really understaffed right now due to the war. You wouldn’t happen to know Minato-Sama’s phone number, would you?” She clarified leaning against the bed frame. So he doesn’t know then. 

“I think so, I can just use the phone here” Kakashi nodded towards the phone on the bedside table. The nurse smiled and bowed to show she would be leaving him to make the phone call in peace. No way in h*ll am I outing myself to Minato-Sensei. Kakashi was well aware that his teacher had given him strict instructions to not complete any shinobi work until Tsunade had cleared him. He had yet to speak to Rin at all, but he didn’t want to imagine what she would say. 

On the table also sat his vest that they had removed to access his heart better. Reaching into the top pocket he found the pocket-sized version of the list. Unfortunately, the majority was no longer legible. It seems the nurses had crumpled the ink when folding the vest so he had very limited options. The two clearest were Genma and Raido at the very bottom. Genma wouldn’t hesitate to contact Asuma who would definitely call Minato-Sensei. Kakashi sighed but put in Raido’s number anyway. 

“What’s up, it’s Raido” came the near immediate answer on the phone. 

“I’m at the hospital” no sense beating around the bush.

“..... is this Kakashi?” 

“Yes”

“........ok. Do you need me to go get sensei?” 

Like h*ll. “No, it’s nothing like that. I just need someone to come to sign me out. Tell Sensei and I’ll never call any of you again” he threatened darkly hoping none of the nurses were lingering around to listen. There was a deep sigh on the other end. 

“Alright. Hang on” 

The phone line went dead after that, so Kakashi put the phone back on the receiver. I need to get out of here. Just hearing the outside halls was enough to make Kakashi want to vomit. He had never had a single good memory in this place and doubted that he ever would. Especially if he never returned which he fully intended on doing. He rose from the too-soft mattress and gathered his vest to pull over his head. His kunai bag was probably sent back to the lockers. During war times they always kept the extra gear in the lockers in case a shinobi needed to borrow from another ally. He could collect it later. 

A little while later the nurse knocked on his door and brought Raido in with her. “You really shouldn’t be out of bed so soon. The aches and exhaustion will linger for the next day or so” she warned.

“Kakashi” Raido greeted with a bit of a frown. Clearly, he doesn’t approve of this situation. “Minato-Sensei sent me to make sure you don’t get into any trouble. I’m free to take you home if you’re ready” The older boy explained and Kakashi almost wanted to say thank you from relief of leaving the dreadful place. But being thankful was a form of happiness and Kakashi really didn't have any more energy for that sort of thing. 

They quickly made their way out of the large building and began walking the streets of Konoha. The moment they could see the sky he took a deep breath of night air. Amazing how nice breathing feels when it doesn’t smell like bleach. 

“So, we just not gonna say why you ended up in the hospital…again?” Raido asked after a moment of silent walking. Kakashi groaned internally but wasn’t surprised. That was one of the big differences between Raido and Genma. Raido would ask even if Kakashi looked uncomfortable that was part of why Lord Third liked him so much. He would speak up if he felt the information was of value regardless of who he was questioning. Even his favorite Hokage. 

“I need to learn to use it” Kakashi mumbled and Raido hummed. They both knew what he meant. 

“You need to learn to slow down. You’re gonna get killed if you’re not careful” Kakashi wanted to snap back something along the lines of ‘that wouldn’t be so bad’ but Raido evidently knew how he felt and kept talking. “If you’re dead no one is around to protect Rin. Or to watch the Uchiha clan. You’d be failing not just yourself, but your comrades who are still here” sh*t. He hated the way his chest tightened. Raido was right and Kakashi knew it. He needed to develop a strategy for training the eye. Preferably one that didn’t involve passing out. 

“Ya know,” Raido continued, “If you asked Minato-Sensei I’m sure he would help.”

“No” Kakashi snapped and his friend just shrugged. 

“He’s gonna find out about this eventually. Especially after you spend the night at my place”

….

What?

Kakashi looked up to see Raido smirking lightly, but not looking at him. He realized now that they were indeed nearing Raido’s apartment and not his own home. “You didn’t think I was just gonna let you go, did you? I may be the least likely to rat you out to sensei, but I’m not going to be responsible for the youngest team member dying of stupidity.” Raido muttered at the end but Kakashi could see he was completely serious. Out of everyone, he was the least awkward with him. All of the squad had come to see him, and Rin, but they all were on eggshells. Unsure of what to say and grieving in their own ways. 

“What’s going on sucks, but a lot of things do. We’re all losing people” Kakashi saw Raido’s eyes go a weird kind of dark when his friend continued to say: “My dad died just last week. But I’m not about to let some dumb war take us both out. You need to pull it together or go get help. There is no in-between or backing out. If I think for one second you’re going to go get hurt again I won’t need to tell Minato-Sensei. I’ll just tell Lord Third to take you off the roster” 

…I didn’t even know his dad was a shinobi. Kakashi didn't really have anything to say to that so following Raido into his apartment seemed the only logical option he had left. “I’m sorry about your dad” he whispered when Raido had shut the door. The teen sighed and pulled Kakashi into a loose hug from behind. 

“I’m sorry about Obito” he whispered back and for today, that was all that they needed to say.

Chapter Text

Kakashi was aware that something was wrong. If he wasn’t so keen on avoiding the hospital, he would have gone there the moment he returned. Being in ANBU allowed him to avoid most of the mandated medical checks even if he was getting injured. The most recent mission had proved to hold something worse than an injury. Poison?

He had come home due to a feeling of tiredness, but once in the house, he felt worse than ever. His bones were aching and his head throbbed. The emotions in his system seemed to want to cry with the uncomfortability. It only got worse when he stood up from his spot at his table. The teacup that sat on the edge fell with the shaking of the wood and shattered at his feet. d*mn it. That was a gift from Kushina. The emotions from earlier began leaking all over the place. His head was confused and his body was being eaten alive with burning and jolts of sharp pain. I need help.  

Even on unsteady legs and cracking joints, he forced himself to lean against the wall and reach for his phone. His hand missed the target as he swayed and knocked both the phone off the receiver and his list off the wall. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts . His lungs struggled for air and the tears on his face held no hope for ceasing. The cup long forgotten, the throbbing behind his eyes took the forefront of his mind. 

Focus. Call sensei. Or Kurenai. Need help, He willed himself to crawl forward and grab the phone, EVERYTHING HURTS . He took a break from the movement and laid on his floor just to catch his breath. Whatever poison was in his system seemed to attack all of his nerves and was making him sweat and shake. He glanced up at the paper and pressed the plastic numbers as fast as his body allowed. Answer…please. 

“Hello?” 

“S-sensei” Kakashi cried, desperate for relief. Even my eye, Obito’s eye, didn’t feel like this. I’m dying. I’m dying like them. Like Rin. Rin died because of me. His thoughts were as panicked and restless as his physical being. Even the sobbing hurt. 

“Kakashi? What is it? What’s wrong?!” The other person sounded worried. 

“Hurts” He cried letting the ‘s’ sound trail off in his tears. His chest convulsed with the movement and he was certain his teacher could hear him sniffling and gasping. Make it stop. Anything to make it stop.  

“Ok, ok, I’m coming! I promise! And when I find you, I’ll bring help. Do you know where you are?” Kakashi understood that his teacher was probably panicking but he had no more strength to answer. His mind wasn’t formulating words, only cries and whimpers and other equally pathetic sounds. Please help me. “It’s ok, it’s gonna be ok. I’m gonna check your house. That’s probably where you got my number right? Just wait for me and don’t move. I can be there in two minutes if I run fast enough” the voice assured and Kakashi wished his head would process the words. 

His apartment was too blurry to even see any of his furniture. The more he looked around the more his dining area started to look like the battlefield, and his phone feel like a kunai.

 “Ka-kashi” Rin! He desperately tried to see her but there was too much blood. Everywhere. On his hands. “Y-you killed me” Her voice echoed again. 

“Rin!?” He called running on the field of dead bodies to find her. “Rin?!” 

His teammate stood in front of him with blood all over her uniform and face. Her pretty face. “Why didn’t you help me, Kakashi?” She asked, tears running down her cheeks. 

I tried. I tried to help you! I didn’t mean it. I DIDN’T MEAN TO. “I’m s-sorry Rin” He sobbed but she didn’t answer. She didn’t smile. She just fell. Kakashi lunged to hold her in his lap, but the moment he touched her, he knew she was gone. All of you are gone. He held her as tight as he could and tried to memorize what she looked like before she disappeared. It was a difficult task due to the sobs and shaking. 

“Kashi, breathe” another person ordered from somewhere behind him. Kakashi didn’t answer, after all he had just killed his teammate. What was the use in breathing? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. “You don’t have to be sorry, just tell me what’s going on” this time, the reply was accompanied by a hand on his shoulder. A hand Kakashi could feel. It’s so warm. How can you not see? How can you not see what I’ve done? The hand moved to pull Kakashi toward something- no, someone’s chest and sit up. 

“Don’t take me from her” Kakashi sobbed holding Rin closer and the voice shushed him.

“I won’t, its ok. No need to cry, Kakashi. Are you hurt?” 

He shook his head but it sent a wave of pain down his spine. It aches. Why does it ache? Is it the Chidori? Sharingan?  

“Did you try to train with it? You promised to be careful with your Sharingan.” promised? Who did I promise that to? Why doesn’t this person care about Rin? She’s dead. She’s dead and it’s my fault. “Open your left eye Otouto, it's ok.” Kakashi could feel the hand rubbing his back, trying to help with his cries, but the request didn’t make sense. His eyes were open. The voice was nice, and warm, and felt better than the body in his hands, so he willed himself to try opening a muscle that didn’t exist. To his surprise, his eye opened. 

What is happening? The battlefield was gone and instead, wooden floors and ceiling surrounded him. He was leaning against a jounin vest and was shaking violently. Rin is gone. Was she ever here? She died. “S-sensei?” He asked feeling scared for the first time in quite a while. 

“Not quite. It’s Gai. Do you know who I am? Where we are?” Gai answered and Kakashi felt the tone reverberate against his ear. Gai? Why would Gai be here? Isn’t this my house? The more his vision cleared the less his tears came. He still shook but not from sobs. His body hurt. I got hurt. How did I get hurt?  

“M-my house” he answered trying to angle his head up to see his bowl-cut friend. Gai was looking at him worriedly. His face a bit sweaty, probably from the run-over. How did he know? Why would he know? I think, no I remember. I was poisoned. On the mission. 

“Good. Yes, we’re at your house. Did you get hurt on the mission? You have a fever and you’re shaking badly.” Gai replied holding him as still as he could. Poison. I need sensei. Need help.  

“Poison” Kakashi whispered and Gai’s eyes went wide. He felt a hand lift off of him and saw his plastic wall phone come into his line of vision. 

“Ok, it’ll be ok. I’m gonna call Lord Hokage right now. I’m sure he can bring a medical ninja along.” Gai assured pressing in the plastic numbers and holding the phone where he could hear. Sorry, Gai. I didn’t mean to bring you into this. Next time, I’ll just wait at headquarters. Maybe then I could see Rin. His thoughts were left unanswered as his friend waited for their teacher to answer.

“Lord Hokage? It’s Kakashi. He’s sick and its bad. He mentioned that he was possibly poisoned on his last ANBU mission.” Gai explained quickly. After a short pause, he continued, “We’re at his house. He isn’t bleeding from anywhere that I can see but he’s shaking a lot and he was crying earlier” He didn’t need to know that par- Kakashi couldn’t even finish his thoughts as his body cramped up and he curled tighter. “No hospital. That’ll only make it worse…he saw Rin Sensei. He needs you and whatever medical ninja you can spare” Gai hung up the phone after that and both boys could only wait for the door to open. She was never here then. 

“I broke your door,” Gai told him quietly obviously trying to distract him. 

“‘S kay” Kakashi muttered through grit teeth. 

The apology was short-lived because footsteps stormed in immediately after. “Sensei!” Gai greeted and Kakashi felt himself shift out of Gai’s arms and lift off the ground. “The fever is pretty bad now but he stopped hallucinating.” The new pair of arms felt much more familiar and Kakashi instinctively gripped at the shirt they belonged to. Minato-Sensei. 

“Thank you for waiting with him Gai,” Minato said curtly bringing Kakashi to his couch and sitting down with him effectively on his lap. “Kashi? What kind of poison was it? Do you know?” His teacher asked hastily and Kakashi tried to push down enough of the pain and shaking to answer properly. 

“K-kunai t-t-tip” he chattered. In the corner of his eye, he saw a shorter woman moving around to sit in front of them. Shizune? She seemed to instantly find the wound on his shoulder and inspect the area. 

“It’s a time-sensitive poison. Not lethal in and of itself. The fever and a lack of appetite on the affected is usually what kills them.” She deduced, pulling out an injection from somewhere Kakashi couldn’t see. He didn’t like to focus on any medical treatment and elected to turn his face into his teacher’s vest. He was met with a hand cradling the back of his head. “Hold still and this should bring the fever down” Shizune ordered pushing the needle in place. 

The syringe felt like it was flaming and Kakashi couldn’t help screaming when it entered his skin. Minato held him firmly and yelled something to the medical ninja over his shrieks until finally the needle was removed. Please. Just make it stop.

“Shh, just one more second Kashi” Minato promised, rubbing a hand up and down his injured arm. As a few seconds went by, he slowly felt the pain and shaking begin to fade. “It’s ok” his sensei whispered holding him a little tighter. 

“He’ll need to be monitored for the next few days. The pain should stay low if you give him painkillers every six hours.” Shizune instructed. You are an angel Shizune. His head was already feeling a bit lighter and his muscles sagged in relief when the shaking stopped completely. His breathing was a bit ragged but at least he wasn’t heaving in the oxygen anymore. 

“Thank you, can you please make sure Gai gets home as well? Both of you should rest. I’ll be taking Kashi back to my place” Minato said and Kakashi felt them rise from the couch. He kept a firm grip on his teacher as they said their goodbyes and teleported away through the village. 

His body was exhausted. As were his emotions. His sensei bringing him back home was the best outcome for the night he could imagine. Especially since a few minutes ago he was fairly certain he was gonna die. Not yet Rin.  

“Stay awake just a bit longer” Minato ordered gently as he walked up the stairs to his house. Kakashi turned his face a bit and saw Kushina, in all her 4 months pregnant glory, staring at them concerned at the top. 

“Kashi!” she called, hurriedly pushing them through the doors. She wasted no time pulling his face away from Minato’s chest to brush back his hair and feel for bumps. “Are you ok? What happened? Oh honey you look like you were crying” Kakashi tried to turn away but Minato was no help in sparing him her worries. 

“I-I’m-”

“If you say ok, I’m going to ban you from missions for a month” Minato interrupted. Kakashi stiffened and pulled enough to put his head back in Minato's shoulder. It was a comfortable spot if only because it reminded him that his teacher wasn’t dead. Rin, Obito, what would you have done? If you could see what’s become of me… “His body can’t take too much more exertion Kushina. Let’s just put him to bed” Minato said as if he wasn’t even there. 

The three of them walked down the hall to Kakashi’s- the Nursery. The room still held a normal twin, reserved for him but now also held a crib and other specific furniture for the baby. Why they hadn’t ditched the full-size dresser and the twin bed he didn’t understand. It was almost as if they expected him to share the room with the baby. Being held the way he was, Kakashi wondered if Minato planned on carrying both of them at some point. 

“I can walk” Kakashi whispered when they got close enough to the bed. He ignored the fact that his fingers were still clinging to his teacher's shirt fabric. 

“Your walking privileges got revoked when you lied to my face in my office and told me the scratch on your arm was fine” Minato snapped and Kakashi flinched at the tone. I even made him mad. It won’t be long before they all realize I’m more trouble than I’m worth. 

“Minato” Kushina warned pushing the two of them to sit on the bed so she could remove Kakashi’s shoes. She started unzipping his mission vest but paused as she looked at his arms. “Let go for just a second sweetie,” She asked quietly moving the armhole by his hand. Let go Hatake. His entire hand shook but he forced his grip to break on both sides so Kushina could take the material off of him. When the gray vest finally freed him he noticed that Minato had also moved his own vest. 

“Are you ok?” Kushina asked when he settled back against his teacher. She was always so nice. Kakashi didn’t remember his mother, but he liked to think she was like the redhead in front of him. 

“I tried,” Kakashi told her feeling a bit desperate. His eyes had no more tears to give, but his heart was still broken. “I tried to save her” he whispered and Kushina’s expression dropped. The arms around him became a bit tighter and he felt Minato drop the arm that had been holding his legs so he was sitting up on his Sensei’s lap and could see them both. 

“Kakashi, I want you to listen to me very carefully ok?” Minato asked quietly. Kakashi nodded but felt anxiety wrack his body. His hands found their way back up to Minato’s shirt fabric. “You didn’t kill Rin. You did your best to save her, and no one blames you for anything. Do you understand?” no. you don’t understand. I said I would protect her. I promised. He started to shake his head and close his eyes. He wanted to voice the truth but the words wouldn’t come. “No, Kashi, listen to me,” Minato said firmly and gripped his chin so that he was forced to look at the blonde. “You are not responsible for the aftermath of a war. Rin loved you and so did Obito. Their deaths are not your fault” 

d*mn it. Turned out his body did still have a few tears left to give, and give it did. Minato sighed but pulled him in for a hug. Kakashi didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around his back and return the sentiment. He felt Kushina sit next to them and drape a blanket over Kakashi’s shakey form. 

“It’s ok sweetheart. We’re right here and we’re not gonna leave you” she promised running her fingers through his hair. He heard her start humming and the full weight of the day caught up to him. He slipped into the darkness. 

He had no idea that Kushina was wrong and that 5 months later, all of his family, would be gone.

Chapter Text

It had been a long day. Kakashi was still getting over the adrenaline of having passed three children to become shinobi. Three very odd and immature children. After having a very long and panicked conversation with Gai, he was only a little sure that he had done the right thing. I’m going to regret this.

Being a sensei was never a part of Kakashi’s plans. Watching his teammates die due to his own faults made him certain that he wasn’t qualified for work outside of the ANBU. He had convinced most of his friends to stay far away and the villagers wouldn’t go near him with a ten-foot pole. Kakashi didn’t mind that though. He was used to being alone. 

It was late at night by the time he arrived at the memorial stone. The entire area was surrounded by darkness despite his motion to place a light beside the memorial so the names could be read. He walked over, hands in his pockets, and sat down in front of the stone. He hated how many names he recognized as the years had gone by, but a few were still more painful than the others. Tonight, one name, in particular, was haunting him. 

Hello, Obito. His teammate who died as a genin. Many birthdays and events that should have involved their beautiful and perfect team seven, were spent with Kakashi sitting, alone, at the stone. Sometimes, friends would try to join him. Especially in the beginning. But eventually, they started to forget all the oh-so-important dates. They moved on from Minato and Kushina’s anniversary and Obito and Rin’s graduation date. They grieved and then they let go. I’m still stubborn if you were wondering. 

He felt around in his pocket for the familiar plastic of his cell phone. Kami, wouldn’t this have saved me so much trouble? He shook his head at the thought and flipped through the numbers until he found the one that he wanted. He clicked dial and waited. 

“Hi! It’s Obito! I’m probably out being an epic Shinobi or becoming Hokage so I can’t come to the phone right now. I hope to catch you later!” The familiar voicemail answered full of life and hope that Kakashi no longer had. Shortly after the phone line reminded him that over the years he had long since filled Obito’s voicemail box but he spoke into it anyway. 

“Hey Obito, it Bakashi” he greeted smiling dully at the stone name in front of him. “I know I said I would stop calling, but I think I may have made another mistake again. I’m taking in a team.” the words felt poisonous even to think of and saying them made Kakashi feel no better. “The last Uchiha, Itachi’s little brother? You remember him I’m sure. He’s troubled and graduated now. He’s nothing like you or his brother. He’s full of rage and-” and is so much like me. He took a deep breath and eased the harsh grip he had on the black plastic. “And he needs help. You told me to look after the clan, so I figured I might as well take him.”

“Minato-” he gulped the lump in his throat and looked at the sky, willing himself to continue. “Minato and Kushina’s son, Naruto, is also in the group. He’s blonde and full of energy. He looks so much like sensei its crazy” Kakashi ignored the wetness seeping into his mask. “He talks more like you though. Wants to be Hokage. I want to see him make it there. He deserves to have help. You would’ve liked him a lot I think.” I know. 

“The last one is named Sakura. I don’t know a lot about her other than that she’s a young girl who’s head over heels for Sasuke” Kakashi grumbled. The pink-haired child was already puzzling him and he had barely had any time to be around them yet. “She’s loud and impulsive. Nothing at all like Rin, but she’s motivated and she wants to be useful” A feeling I understand well enough. “I’m sure if sensei were here, he would know how to best teach her and what to say.”  

Minato always knew what to say and when to say it. Never made any mistakes and watched us so he could help in the best way possible. “I want to be a sensei in the way that Minato-Sensei was, even if I’m not as good with people. Once these three are safe and strong, I’ll go back to being alone. I promise I won’t fail again.” He vowed, taking deep breaths to force down the disgusting emotions inside him. 

“Like H*ll you will” The voice startled him into snapping his phone closed and spinning around in a crouch. He pulled a kunai at the same time that his brain registered the familiar smoking figure in front of him. Asuma. “Not fail of course, but like H*ll we’ll leave you alone when your kids become jounin. That’s just wishful thinking, Kashi” the older man smiled walking over to sit beside him as Kakashi calmed his adrenaline rush. It was a bit stiff but they both ended up facing the stone again. 

“What are you doing out here?” Kakashi asked after a moment running a hand up his mask to double-check that no evidence was visible on his face. 

“Well, my friend is out here and I figured I’d sit with him” Asuma smiled lightly clearly trying to ease some of the tension. “I heard what you did today” he continued and Kakashi’s shoulders tensed. So then everyone must know at this point. Makes sense, I figured Gai couldn’t keep it to himself for long. He waited for the inevitable disapproval only to be met with a hand on his shoulder. “I’m really proud of you. Lord Fourth would be over the moon to know that you are the one training his son.” 

Why must you always say things that make me want to get drunk?  “You shouldn't be. I should have stepped in before now” Kakashi mumbled moving his shoulder enough to knock Asuma’s hand away. 

“Bull crap” Asuma spat harshly pushing at his chest so Kakashi was facing him completely. “You were 14 and dealing with PTSD. Taking in a baby was not your responsibility and also would have probably killed you both.” I do not have PTSD and 14 was a perfectly responsible age. “You don’t get to say that your family doesn’t get to be proud of you, brat.”

I am not a brat-....Family. Kakashi let his visible eye widen a fraction at the use of the word. Asuma noticed immediately and grinned. “Your family Kakashi, and the little brats you have are gonna be lucky to have you.” he promised standing up and offering him a hand. Kakashi took it. “Besides” he began again when they started walking away.

 “If you ever need help you know I’m only a phone call away.”