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Chapter Text

"After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom." ― Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Late September

The only sound that could be heard in the Tozier household was the ticking of the old clock coming from the living room. It wasn't until two forty-five in the morning that a more chilling (and now familiar) sound filled the air.

Gwen Tozier had awoken from yet another terrifying nightmare.

It was a nightmare that consisted of yellow eyes, sharp teeth, and misery.

Just like she had been doing for the last few weeks, the fifteen year old girl woke up screaming and thrashing in her bed. However no matter how loud and frightening her screaming was, it was expected to happen by the rest of the Tozier household.

It was a sad thing, but the Tozier family had gotten used to the middle of the night screaming. Although it was Richie who was the only one left who truly felt absolute concern (in the Tozier house) for Gwen. Only he knew the real reason behind those nightmares of hers. He was the only one (besides the other Losers) that understood Gwen.

Maggie and Wentworth Tozier of course felt concern for their daughter. They, however, found the nightmares she was having to be more intrusive than worrisome. The reason was because they've dealt with this kind of issue before (or so they thought) when she had been younger. So both parents hoped that these so-called nightmares would come to a sudden end. Like when she was a child. Except much to their displeasure, the nightmares hadn't gone away.

They had tried talking things out with Gwen, but the teen wouldn't admit any reasons for the cause of her nightmares. She wouldn't tell them what her nightmares were even about. So both parents were clueless. Therefore with no other ideas on how to end her nightmares, Maggie and Wentworth figured Gwen's depression must have returned with a force...hence the stronger antidepressants medication they got her.

With the medication the nightmares stopped for a couple of days...but then they returned, and they were just as terrible. Now it was late into September (almost nearing October) and the nightmares were still present.

And since her nightmares were still there, so was her crippling depression. Not that it ever really went away. As Gwen knows now (thanks to those long talks with her school counselor) depression can never truly go away. Once a person is diagnosed with depression the sickness was always going to be there. The best one could do with depression is get it under control. Unfortunately after what Gwen and the other Losers went through with IT, getting her depression under control again was proving to be more difficult than before.

It didn't help that every-time Gwen closed her eyes she would now immediately think about yellow eyes and sharp teeth.

Yellows eyes and sharp teeth that belonged to IT...or otherwise known as Pennywise.

And it certainly didn't help that Gwen now had a constant reminder of the horror IT put her through on her right shoulder.

A bite mark that would forever be there.

A bite mark that she got when IT had her pinned underneath in the sewers. A ugly bite mark that only Richie and the other Losers knew about. Not her parents, or her friend Francine, or any other Derry resident knew about the scarring bite mark. Only the Losers. Gwen's closest and truest friends.

However, since the blood oath they made in the grassy field, Gwen felt a drastic change in the air once they each departed. That change wasn't just because they had defeated IT (or so they thought). No, Gwen Tozier knew something else was changing...and that change was between each of the Losers.

Gwen could feel it...sensed it before any of the other Losers could. Their unique friendship that was formed during the summer was slowly withering away. The eight members that made up the Losers Club were slowly becoming distant with each other.

It started with Beverly.

To Gwen's sadness, her red haired friend (who she actually considered now to be her best friend) had moved to Portland to live with her aunt. Before she had left, Beverly had given Gwen her aunt's home number. Gwen had promised to keep in touch and that's what she tried to do. Beverly had answered the first few times Gwen had called. They spent hours on the phone talking to each other, and it was honestly one of the only times Gwen actually had a genuine smile on her face. However, that short happiness came to an end. One day the phone calls just stopped. If one asked who stopped calling who, Gwen wouldn't be able to give an answer. She honestly couldn't remember...and that scared her.

Mike was the second person Gwen felt was slowly backing away from their friend group. The thirteen year old claimed he needed to help out more with the deliveries for his grandfather, hence why he couldn't stay long to hang out. Despite his busy schedule, the Tozier girl still saw Mike around town every now and again. Whenever he didn't look too busy, she stopped to talk to him (at least try to anyway). Now when Mike did have time to hang out it was never with all the remaining Losers. Sometimes Gwen, Bill and Ben would be there, but there'd be no Eddie or Richie. Or there'd be Richie and Bill, but no other Losers. It was never a full group again.

It only got worse when school came back to session. Mike returned to his home school lessons, and Gwen and the others went to regular school. And that same complication sadly applied to the rest of them.

Since school started Gwen hardly saw the other Losers (except for Richie). Given that she was now a Sophomore in high school and the others were starting Eighth grade in their last remaining year in middle school, their schedules definitely conflicted with each other. Sometimes much to her content, Bill would come over to her place and so would Eddie, but when that happened there'd be no Ben and Stan.

Ben had his own reasons (mainly he was always focused on something school related) and that was something Gwen understood. The Hanscom boy had always been the studious type.

As for Stan...well Gwen didn't blame Stan for not wanting to come over or be anywhere near her. Hell, she didn't blame him if he never wanted to speak to her again. Not after the emotional conversation they had after the blood oath. She could never forgive herself for what she did to him...breaking his heart after he finally confessed he loved her...even if there was a good reason for why she did that.

To soften the heartache, Gwen would tell herself she didn't deserve Stan. Which in her eyes was true. Gwen Tozier did not deserve someone as pure and kindhearted as Stanley Uris. She would have ruined him, just like she had ruined Chase. She had even ruined Victor Criss. Victor who she was just starting to like and even considered to be a friend.

And just like that the sleek white-blonde haired boy was now gone too.

The guilt of Chase's death, along with the other deaths and awful things IT did still got to Gwen. IT got to her badly. She figured that's what kept her up at night...the damn guilt mixed with her nightmares. Though knowing about the weird dangerous obsession that IT had on her still unnerved her. Especially after what Maturin told her while she had been unconscious the first time IT attacked her in the sewers.

Gwen would always have some memory of the earnest conversation between Maturin and her. What the benevolent entity said to her was the main reason why she rejected Stan and made the harrowing decision to never be romantically involved with anyone. Even now the forewarning words of Maturin rang in her head again.

You'll find love but not the kind of love you wish to have. For the love you want will never last.

After what happened to Chase, Victor, and what almost happened to Stan, Gwen knew to take the warning seriously. Those dejected words however did little to lessen her wariness...even if IT was now supposedly gone.

If anything Gwen's nerves were now higher than ever...like right now.

Suddenly as she was lying awake and panting in bed a brief flash of haunting yellow eyes entered Gwen's head. That image had her releasing another bone chilling scream. This time she didn't stop screaming. As she screamed she could have sworn she felt the bite on her shoulder become warmer. Due to her drastic state though Gwen was more in tune with the eerie yellow eyes that flashed in her head.

The Tozier girl didn't stop screaming until her brother came into her bedroom. Despite her violet thrashing and screaming Richie miraculously got her calm down. Just like he had been doing for the last few weeks. Richie was the only one ever to get her to calm down. The youngest Tozier sat down on her bed and gently took a hold of one of Gwen's hands.

As soon as Gwen felt Richie's hand hold onto hers she stopped her thrashing and her screaming came to a halt. Taking a deep breath, Gwen steadied her gaze onto her brother's form. Even in the dark she was still able to see the tired concern filled expression Richie had on. This right away had her breaking down...just like she would do whenever Richie comforted her.

"It's okay, Gwen. It was just a nightmare. I'm here now."

Gwen let his soothing words sink in and she didn't push her brother away when he brought her into a hug. No, instead Gwen leaned against Richie's neck and continued bawling her eyes out. As she did this Richie's hold on her hand tightened. They were each holding hands that had the cut on their palms. Cuts that would remind them of the blood oath they had made with the other Losers. It was an oath Gwen had no intention of ever breaking if the time ever came to defeat IT again.

After a while, Gwen was finally able to calm her crying down. Richie's hold on her though didn't lessen and the two siblings instead continued to emotionally depend on each other.

The last thing Gwen heard from Richie was him saying a quiet goodnight. With her brother being there with her, Gwen was able to go to sleep again. This time no nightmares invaded her and that was something she was grateful for.

Really, Gwen had no idea what she would do if Richie wasn't by her side.

Her younger brother was basically all she had left now.

Chapter Text

"And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness." ― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

Richie Tozier hated having emergency family meetings. They sucked and in his opinion they were just a waste of his time. Then again he never was one for having serious conversations―well, at least not with his mother and father. However, it had been proven (quite a lot during this past summer) before that he could hold a serious conversation with his older sister and friends, but never with his parents. Not really. He'd either make some inappropriate comment (one that would get him into trouble) or he'd let his emotions lead him into a vehement path.

Now in any typical family emergency meeting it usually meant that all family members needed to be present. That wasn't the case for the Tozier family. For them whenever a family meeting took place and when one of them wasn't present it meant that meeting was about said missing person.

So when Richie arrived and awkwardly sat down on the living room couch with his parents, he right away noticed that Gwen wasn't there with them. Obviously this emergency family meeting was about her, and Richie couldn't say he was surprised by this. Ever since the battle with IT down in the sewers with the other Losers, his older sister had been in bad shape. And not just physically, but emotionally as well. It didn't help that everyone in the small friend group was drifting apart. The separation between friends is what Richie thinks made Gwen's depression worsen. Therefore, it was only a matter of time before his mother and father would finally openly acknowledge the dispirited state Gwen was in.

However, despite their parental concern, Maggie and Wentworth Tozier didn't know the real reason why Gwen was being so withdrawn, moody, and dare they say even traumatized. Although they were deeply worried for their daughter, to them they rationalized it was just their teenage daughter acting out (again). Perhaps going back to her black whole of never ending depression and rebellious behavior. They had no idea of the horrors she experienced when IT had her pinned onto the sewer ground...the hopelessness she felt when she felt IT bit her right shoulder...or the excruciating pain she felt.

Not even Richie knew the whole extent of the sufferings IT put her through. Gwen only told him enough to get him to calm down with his questions, but he knows deep down that there was more to the story than Gwen let on. At least with him she told him enough for him to understand. Unlike with her parents, who she knows wouldn't understand her in the slightest.

And how could they? Gwen never liked to talk about her feelings or problems with them, let alone explain why she behaved the way she did. No matter how many times her parents begged and begged her to open up, Gwen never did. She remained silent when it came to whatever she was struggling with. Richie once again could understand why that was. If Gwen were to tell their mother and father half of the shit they went through during the summer they would both think they've gone crazy. They would have been sent to Juniper Hill Asylum.

So it was smart of Gwen to stubbornly stay silent regarding the horrors of IT.

At least that's what Richie thought before this awful life changing family meeting took place.

His mother and father were set in stone with their expressions, but after Richie heard what his mother said his reaction was enough to get them to break their earnest exterior. And needless to say Richie's response wasn't anywhere near being sarcastic or lighthearted. There wasn't an ounce of merriment in his interior or exterior form. His response was one of anger and extreme shock.

"What do you mean you're sending her away?!" Richie yelled to his parents, flabbergasted. By this point he had gotten up from the couch. His stance was one of not only outrage, but of hurt. After a few seconds of displeased filled silence, Wentworth was able to compose himself from his momentary surprise. He instead held an unreadable expression, while Maggie in return now appeared to be more annoyed with Richie's outburst of a question.

Maggie let out a sigh as she eyed her son with sovereignty. "You heard me the first time, Richie." However, due to his upset appearance she needed to explain again to her youngest child why things came to this conclusion. "We're sending Gwen away because her behavior is getting way out of control. She needs to get away from Derry. To clear her mind and get her act together."

"But you're sending her away to a different state!" Richie heatedly told his mother. He looked at his mother as if she had gone full crazy. "She's leaving and going to stay with people she barely even knows!"

Maggie did not appreciate her son's tone of voice, nor with how he was looking at her. "Do not keep raising your voice to me young man!" She shouted, causing Richie to back down (warily so). Maggie gave Wentworth a side glance (her husband, however, gave no signal whether or not he was annoyed or angered by her shouting), got a handle of her anger and then steadied her voice in a much calmer manner. "This is a good thing for your sister. And besides it's not like she's going to be staying with strangers." She reasoned with him. "She's going to your Aunt Karen's house in Hawkins. You have to remember your Aunt Karen. How could you not?" Richie just stared at Maggie oddly as she kept talking―not at all taking in his expression. "She has three kids. Nancy, Mike, and Holly. Holly is just a baby, but Mike's around your age and Nancy's a year older than Gwen."

Yes, Richie knew (not really) who his Aunt Karen was. Karen was his mother's biological sister who was married to Ted Wheeler. His uncle. Now although Richie knew who they were he was not at all close to them. In fact, none of the Tozier family members were close to the Wheeler family. Sure his mother called them every once in a while and sent postcards on holidays and birthdays, but neither family ever visited each other. Hence why Richie wasn't able to remember the last time he had seen his Aunt Karen or Uncle Ted. And although Richie was aware he had cousins, he had never actually met them before and he knew neither had Gwen. So he was definitely against Gwen going to stay with them. He did not want his sister to leave and stay with a bunch of strangers.

Richie took a deep breath and tried controlling his emotions as he spoke. "Why can't she stay with grandma?" He offered the idea to his parents. A pleading expression was aimed at Wentworth. "She lives much closer." Now Richie didn't want Gwen to leave, but if his parents were so damn adamant on sending Gwen away then at least she could stay with their grandmother. She lived much closer (only an hour away) and Gwen would be staying with someone she knew.

This time it was Wentworth who spoke. He sounded and appeared to be heavily remorseful. "I called my mother but she has her own issues to handle at the moment. She wouldn't be able to handle Gwen. Not with how she is."

With how she is?

Richie once again had to control his anger. His parents made it sound as if Gwen was a real problem child. Okay...so maybe lately Gwen hadn't been the most well behaved girl. But it's not like she had been causing serious trouble. The worst thing she had done was just skip class to wallow...and drink and smoke, but that was about it.

Now did Richie worry for her? Absolutely. Did he want her to stop drinking and smoking? He sure would have liked that. But he wasn't going to force her. He knew telling Gwen to stop doing something was a bad move. And although Richie hated that his sister was drinking and smoking, he hated it more that his parents were making her seem like a criminal. Gwen wasn't a criminal. She was just going through a dark phase at the moment because of what happened...thanks to IT. Thinking about the evil entity had Richie's blood boiling. IT ruined everything.

As if he weren't angry enough now, his mother just had to add more fuel into the fire that was building inside him. "Look Richie, she's leaving for Indiana and that's final." Maggie announced with a firm voice.

Richie wanted to yell at his mother, but the look his father gave him stopped him from doing so. It was a look that said please don't and it was a look Richie hardly ever received from his father. This greatly surprised him. His father wasn't the type of person to be obvious with his emotions. Nor did he beg silently. So Richie knew to take this expression seriously. Instead of yelling at his mother, the youngest Tozier clenched his jaw and forced down the need to yell. "For how long?" He asked his parents.

"However long it takes for her to get better." Maggie simply informed him. She sounded not the least bit hurt that she was sending her only daughter away. This of course just angered Richie more but he continued to hold down his anger. But it was proving to be harder than before.

For however long it takes? That was such a disheartening response. That pretty much meant his sister was to leave his side for a long period of time. He decided then to ask a question he knew was stupid and would receive a full on no, but he still went forward. "Can I go with her?" Richie asked, and even though it was a foolish question, hope remained within him.

Of course that hope he had was thrown out thanks to his mother's (insensitive) response. "Don't be ridiculous." Maggie responded, frowning a bit. She couldn't believe her son had just asked that. "I can't send both of you. My sister and her husband are already going to have their hands full with Gwen. Plus they also have their own children to think about. Besides, I was lucky they agreed to take Gwen. I can't be pushing my luck now."

Richie stared at his mother, bewildered that she had just said that. She sounded relieved that Gwen was leaving...almost happy in a way? He clenched his fists to his sides. The anger rising within him.

This was an action that Wentworth saw and despite also being appalled by Maggie's previous statement, he was more focused on preventing his son from making a scene within the walls of their home. "I'm sorry, son." He said in hopes of canceling out the hurtful vibe Maggie was throwing out―but of course the room was still full of hurt. Mainly from Richie.

This time the youngest Tozier didn't say anything. He just gave both of his parents an expression mixed with distraught and hatred. Although the hatred was more aimed towards his mother than father.

Then unclenching his fists, Richie turned around and made his way upstairs. He needed to get away from his parents and be near Gwen. The only person in his whole family who he loved with all his heart and who was soon about to leave his side.

As Richie approached her bedroom door (which was slightly wide open) he began to hear music playing. This wasn't unusual to hear. Gwen had always been one to blast music when in her room, but as of lately Richie had been noticing the style of the music she had been listening to. It was more full of angst. A mere representation with how she was feeling at the moment.

Read the stop signs

I can't love nothing

I mate, kill

You wake up and it's not morning

I can't sleep, I loved you once

I loved you so much

There's a shape on the horizon

As we're picked off one by one

Something's gone

Something's over

Richie knocked on her bedroom door but his sister made no indication that she heard him. Gwen was currently sitting by her window seat, and she was blowing the smoke from her cigarette outside the window she had opened. She was gazing out her window with such a melancholic expression as she let out puffs of smoke. The smell of cigarettes no longer really bothered Richie. Though to be honest the smell never really did. He'd be lying if he said he had never smoked before because he had. He just didn't smoke as much as Gwen did.

There's a shape over the ocean

As we're picked off one by one

Summer's gone

Summer's over

Somebody here's too smart

There's nothing that doesn't die

Why don't you do to my insight

What you do to my insides?

Oh, babe

Letting those lyrics sink in (lyrics that reminded him of the horrors he faced), Richie went to knock again but stopped mid-way once he saw what his sister was wearing. Her regular everyday outfit of a t-shirt and jeans didn't surprise him, but it was that dark green military jacket that still slightly got to him.

Gwen was wearing that now very familiar dark green military jacket. That dark green military jacket had become one of her all time favorite things to wear. Richie understood why though, because she had been the one to explain the significance of wearing the jacket.

The death of Victor Criss left a heavy impact on Gwen. After the sleek-white blonde haired boy's passing, Gwen had told Richie that Victor and her were able to come to a resolution. And although Gwen wasn't able to return the romantic feelings Victor had for her (by that point her heart belonged to someone else―someone else that wasn't Chase Campbell), they were still able to form a friendship with each other. A friendship that Gwen never had a chance to fully experience.

Victor Criss had died, and he died protecting her from Henry Bowers.

Gwen knew she would never be able to repay Victor back for sacrificing his life for hers, but as a way to honor his death, she started wearing a dark green military jacket whenever she had the chance. It wasn't the exact one Victor had owned but it was awfully similar. She knew it was a silly thing to do, but she had to do something to honor him, because Victor Criss in her eyes was a hero and he needed to be remembered as one. Even if it was just for her own sake.

Getting a hold of himself again, Richie proceeded to knock on her door again, but Gwen's collected calm voice spoke out.

"I take it mom and dad told you the fabulous news." Gwen said after she exhaled another round of smoke. By now the boombox had been turned off and no music was playing. She then turned to look at him, her expression unreadable at the moment.

This was something Richie was getting used to seeing. He knew before that Gwen wasn't that great when it came to controlling her emotions. Her depression was easy to spot, along with her constant mood swings. However, after the incident with IT, Gwen had become somewhat better at shutting down at times. Minus the middle of the night screams from waking up from her nightmares. But if she wanted to, Gwen could just shut down for hours and just remain quiet and that concerned Richie more than when she was dealing with one of her depression episodes.

Richie fidgeted with glasses before he stepped into her bedroom."If mom or dad catch you..." He began saying as he sat next to her on her window seat. The bespectacled boy however stopped talking once he was next to her. He knew the boring lecture of what their mother and father would do to her would bore her. And by her next response, Richie knew he had been right to think that.

Gwen's cool expression fell a little. "They'll what?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Send me away? Oh wait..." She paused for dramatic effect before becoming her laid back self again. "They already are."

Richie was glad Gwen was back to her normal-self (well somewhat normal self), but the reminder of what their mother and father were planning to do hurt him again. And despite Gwen bringing it up he couldn't face reality yet. He wanted to continue talking to his sister as if they were having any other day conversation. This one just happened to be about smoking.

Richie decided to be lighthearted with her. "Can I bum a smoke?"

Gwen scoffed and a tiny smile appeared on her face. It was a smile Richie was happy to see, no matter how tiny it was. "Go get your own cigarettes. Not that I'll actually let you smoke in front of me."

Richie wasn't really upset about her not letting him smoke, but he continued with his good-humored act. "So you can smoke but I can't?"

It seemed Gwen was following such a lighthearted act because she nodded her head. That tiny smile still on her face. "You got that right. Do you have any idea how bad these things are?" She said to him and then right afterwards blew a puff of smoke away from him.

"I guess it's better than you drinking." Richie remarked, and then grew somber. Gwen was very emotional when drunk. Which was why he never liked to see her in such an intoxicated state.

The tiny smile she had left. "Nah, mom and dad don't have any of the good stuff right now." Gwen absently said as let her gaze wander off to the window again. She knew that comment was bad to say but it was too late to take it back.

The youngest Tozier could no longer fool himself. The lively act he had been putting on dropped. His real emotions were finally resurfacing. "Gwen..." He heartrendingly called out. His sister turned to look at him again. This time her expression matched the sorrowful one he had on. "I don't want you to go." Richie said, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

Gwen held in her own tears. "I don't want to go either." She admitted to Richie. Not caring about the cigarette anymore, she stumped it against the bottom of her window. Once it was fully off she flicked it outside. Her full attention was then on her younger brother. Her brown eyes were filled with distraught now. "I tried to tell them. Convince them to not let me go...but they wouldn't listen."

"It's just not fair." Richie began ranting out. "They're sending you to people we hardly know."

"Well, they are family." Gwen sadly said. Even though she said the word family it sounded so low and disheartened.

"They're strangers." Richie argued back. "I mean, can you really say that you even know any of them?"

"I guess, not really." Gwen answered honestly. "Aunt Karen and Uncle Ted, kind of, but I mean, I've never met Nancy. I think I saw a photo of her once but that was a while ago, and I have no idea how their youngest son is or what he looks like. Or even baby Holly." Gwen let out a sigh as she ran hand through her dark locks. Richie was right...the people she was going to live with for who knows how long were total strangers. This just made her feel worse.

"This is so shitty." Richie seethed out. His anger didn't stop the tears that went down his face.

Gwen saw this and felt her own tears go down her face. "Hey, that's my line." She said wanting to lighten the unhappy mood that was surrounding them. To her relief she heard Richie laugh and saw his features lessen a bit from gloom. She quickly wiped at her face and through this action she saw Richie doing the same. Afterwards she grew earnest with her younger brother. She looked him right in his eyes and spoke wholeheartedly.

"Just because I'm being sent away doesn't mean jack shit." She told him. "I'll still keep in contact whenever I can." She wasn't about to lose contact with her brother. She refused to become a mere distant memory for him. They've been through so much shit. But she figured if they faced an evil entity like IT, then surely her moving to live in Indiana wouldn't be a challenge. At least that's what she told herself.

That didn't necessarily make all the distraught Richie was feeling go away, but it did help a little. He adjusted his glasses and then steadied his facial expression. "So, you'll promise to call?" He asked, sounding so emotionally fragile.

It hurt Gwen to hear her brother sound so low. "Whenever I have the opportunity." Gwen seriously told him. She then gently in good nature pushed one of his shoulders. "Hell, I'll even write letters if I have to." She smiled at him. A real genuine smile.

Richie took in her smile and found amusement in what she said. "Letters? Who the hell writes letters nowadays?" He jokingly retorted.

Gwen laughed. "Fine, I'll try to stick to phone calls then."

They basked in the lighthearted mood that was surrounding them. Except that didn't last long. Whatever humor and delighted vibes were in the room went away with what Richie said next.

"You gonna tell the others?"

Gwen felt despair enter her body again, but she did well in not showing it in her face. "I guess I should." She eventually responded to her younger brother. Of course she should tell the others she was leaving Derry. This not only included the remaining Losers, but also Francine. Her blonde best friend who had been trying her absolute best in trying to help Gwen. Her friend who knew nothing about IT and what she and the other Losers went through during this past summer.

Not that Gwen wanted to tell her. Francine didn't deserve to have her life tainted by the horrors her and the Losers went through. But how messed up would it be if she didn't tell any of them she was leaving? She even wanted to tell Beverly, but she knew calling her would be pointless because the number she had no longer worked. And she had no other way of contacting her. Gwen was deeply saddened at the fact that she couldn't even inform her red haired best friend of her soon to be departure.

Except if there was one specific person Gwen was dreading (and feeling extra sad) on telling she was leaving. A certain someone with curly light brown hair who she had left heart broken. A certain someone who she now had strong feelings for but was too late in the game.

"Even Stan?" Richie asked her. His voice sounded foolishly hopeful.

Gwen lowered her eyes, ashamed. Although she had just been thinking about Stan, hearing Richie say his name made her feel various emotions. The most powerful one being guilt. "I don't think Stan ever wants to see me let alone talk to me." Why would he? She had rejected him. She wounded his heart. Ripped it into a million pieces and then walked away. He probably hated her (he should hate her) and as much as it hurt to think that, she knew she shouldn't complain. She deserved whatever ill feelings Stan had for her now.

"He doesn't hate you." Richie assured his sister. He looked at the downhearted expression Gwen had on and he was fast to speak. He knew for certain that Stan didn't hate her. His curly haired friend was just hurt...but he in no way hated Gwen. Richie thought it was impossible for Stan to hate her. He still saw the way Stan looked at Gwen from a distance. And even though his stare was filled with hurt, it was also filled with love. Unfortunately it seemed that his sister only saw the hurt in Stan's eyes and not the love he continued to have for her.

Gwen lifted her gaze to look at her brother. His response (although she had pretty much said it to herself in her head) made her mess up with her words. "I-I didn't say―"

"I know that's what you're thinking." Richie interrupted. "But that's not true. Stan doesn't, nor will he ever hate you." There was a brief pause before he let out a sigh. "He's just..."

"Hurt." Gwen simply finished saying. "And I get why."

"You should still tell him." Richie softly told her.

Gwen kept quiet but nodded her head indicating she took his advice.

The two siblings then stayed in silence. Richie thought about how the hell he was going to function without having his sister around, while Gwen got another thought inside her head. A rather disturbing and odd thought, but it was something she needed to tell Richie. No matter how crazy it sounded.

"You want to know something funny." Gwen evenly spoke up, breaking the silence. She looked at Richie and saw how curious he appeared to be. "Well it's not really funny. I'd say it's more weird than anything."

Richie for some reason was now dreading to hear what she had to say. His curiosity however was winning, and he had a need to know. "What is it?" He asked her.

"I kind of knew mom and dad had plans of sending me away." Gwen grimly confessed to her younger brother.

This had Richie furrowing his eyebrows in puzzlement. "What? How?" Had she listened in to a private conversation? If so, why hadn't she told him earlier? Behind his glasses he narrowed his eyes. "Did you overhear mom and dad talk?" He decided to ask the question he was thinking.

If only she knew what she knew because of that. It would have been easier to explain things to him. Alas, that wasn't how she knew. Gwen shook her head. "No."

Richie wasn't following her. He was completely confused. "Okay well...how did you know they were going to send you away then?"

Gwen let out an exasperated sigh. "I just..." She stopped talking, unable to finish her sentence. Her eyes were once again wandering around, looking anywhere but at him.

Sensing her heightened emotions through her actions, Richie softened his own eyes. "You just what?" He gently questioned her.

Gwen couldn't help but feel trepidation as she spoke. "I had a feeling."

"A feeling?" Richie repeated beyond bemused.

Gwen nodded her head. Clearly her brother hadn't fully understood her―not that she held that against him. What she was trying to say was...well...insane. But she had faith that Richie wouldn't think of her as a total nutcase. Besides, how could he after what they experienced together. "Yeah, you know like a feeling you get whenever something is going to happen. Whether it's good or bad." Gwen continued on saying. "I got a bad feeling this time. I knew something was going to happen and here we are." She let out a bitter laugh. "And I'm being sent away."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Richie asked her.

Gwen became sheepish. "Because like I said it was just a feeling. Nothing else...and well I didn't want to look like a fool for bringing it up."

Richie could understand that reasoning. It was just a feeling. He had good and bad feelings all the time. For some reason though he didn't think his past experiences with his gut intuition applied here. "Maybe it's just a coincidence." He lamely offered as a way to lessen her worry, but even he couldn't get behind his explanation.

"Maybe so, but..." Gwen took a deep breath. Her face went pale with what she said next. "It frightens me...almost as much as..." But she didn't finish that sentence because a terrible memory played in her head. Her in the sewers with Pennywise. She felt a chill run down her spine as touched her right shoulder. The same shoulder where ITs bite mark was at.

Richie immediately could tell Gwen was heading towards memory lane based on the far away look she had on. He was too. His memory, however, involved him beating the absolute shit out of IT with his sister's baseball bat. A beating that Richie took great joy in because he was avenging Gwen. IT put his sister through hell and even now with the entity gone Gwen was still suffering.

There was no doubt that Gwen was heading towards memory lane. Except it wasn't the one where people would go to relive their past happily. No, she was heading towards a nightmare filled memory. It was probably that very same memory that had her waking up screaming in the middle of the night. Richie got a hold of himself and didn't waste any more time. Despite the two of them sitting down, that didn't stop Richie from pulling his sister into a hug. It was a side hug, and it probably felt as awkward as it looked, but he didn't care. All he was concerned about was pushing away the awful memory Gwen was probably having of that malicious entity.

"You don't have to worry about any of that shit." Richie soothed Gwen as she accepted his side hug. "ITs gone now."

Gwen knew Richie was just trying to comfort her (as he always did), but his words did nothing to soothe her this time.

Not only was Gwen too focused on the reminder that she was soon leaving Derry (away from her brother and her friends), but she also had to deal with the knowledge that she knew about her departure before her parents even told her. A part of her believed that perhaps Richie's explanation was correct. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Except another part of her didn't think so...and it was that part that deeply frightened Gwen.

Chapter Text

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting." ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Stanley Uris was on the verge of tears.

He was currently running. Probably the fastest he'd ever ran in his life. And that was saying something because he ran pretty fast when he encountered Judith. The first and second time. The first time was at the synagogue (in his father's study), and the second time was when he was down in the sewers. Both were memories he was still trying to bury away. This time he wasn't running away from something but rather towards something...someone.

Gwen.

He was running towards the girl he was in love with. Why? Because as he had come to find out she was leaving Derry. Away from the remaining Losers...and away from him. Stan's heart nearly broke when he was informed of this terrible news, but more so because he had learned it at the very last second.

Thank goodness for Eddie. If he hadn't run into the smaller boy in the middle of town today, Stan would have never known. When he was informed of Gwen's departure by Eddie, Stan wanted to blame someone for the pain he had felt...like Gwen herself. Why hadn't she told him? Except as Stan would later find out, the Tozier girl had tried telling him such news only for his mother to lie about his whereabouts at the time. He had been reading the bird book Gwen had given him for his Bar Mitzvah when she came looking for him. He didn't know this at the moment. Nor did he know that his mother told Gwen that she would tell Stan about her leaving and that it would be his choice to make if he wanted to say goodbye or not. But it was a choice that was never delivered to Stan. And when Stan realized that his mother neglected to say all that to him, forgiveness would be the last thing he wanted to give her.

It would be awhile before Stan fully forgave his mother.

As the curly haired boy kept running, he tried his hardest to not let the tears fall down his face. Stan had to remain strong. He'd get there in time to say goodbye to Gwen. Maybe even convince her to stay...if not her, then maybe he'd get through to her parents. It was a foolish way of thinking, but all reason was out of his mind. Stan just needed to talk to Gwen...he needed to see her.

Even though he was running fast, Stan felt like it was a lifetime before he finally reached the Tozier residence. He got an awful feeling in his stomach when he saw that their parking space was empty. He quickly pushed this feeling aside, refusing to believe what it signified. With even more rapid steps, Stan reached the Tozier's front porch. He then without sparing another second began knocking on the front door.

Everything's fine. Gwen's still here. You'll see...she's going to open the door and everything is going to be―

Stan's thoughts came to a halt when the front door opened. To his disappointment, Gwen wasn't standing on the other side. It was Richie.

When the youngest Tozier came into view the first thing Stan wanted to do was yell at him. Why didn't Richie say anything to him about Gwen leaving? Why did he choose now to keep that blabbermouth of his shut?

Stan quickly realized that as much as he wanted to blame Richie, he really didn't have a right to. Like with Gwen, Stan had been ignoring the bespectacled boy too. Stan honestly couldn't remember the last time he had a well meaningful conversation with him. And that made Stan feel sad because Richie and him used to be great friends. Inseparable even. Now...things have changed and not for the better. Stan would take the blame for that though. He'd take the blame for everything that happened between him and Tozier's. Oh, how he regrets pushing them away. He let his dejected feelings get the better of him.

After pushing aside his fervent emotions, Stan noticed how blotchy Richie's face appeared to be. This was clear evidence that he had been crying not that long ago. Seeing Richie's face like that confirmed the awful feeling Stan had going around in his head. It was the same feeling he had gotten when seeing the empty parking space. Except Stan mentally shook his head.

"Is Gwen still here? I-I-I need to speak with her." Stan said while trying to control his breathing. All that running had him huffing out air but he didn't care how ridiculous he sounded.

As soon as he asked this question, Richie braced himself because he knew Stan was not going to like what he was about to say. He adjusted his glasses as he fixed Stan with an angst look. He felt like crying again, but doing so would do nothing to settle the dismal feelings he knew Stan was about to experience. "You missed her. She left about a few minutes ago." He sorrowfully informed his curly haired friend.

From a distance a bird's chirp could be heard but that did nothing to lessen the ache that now was growing inside Stan. "She's gone?" The Uris boy felt his heart breaking all over again. He looked at Richie with such anguish. "I wanted to say goodbye." He felt tears start to fully form in his eyes. Big fat tears that he could no longer stop from escaping "I never got to say goodbye to her!" He cried out before he finally let the tears go down his face.

Richie could say nothing as he watched his bird loving friend break down. After having to suffer with watching Stan break down for what felt like a lifetime (when really it was not even a minute), Richie decided the best thing he could do was to hug him.

And that's exactly what he did.

Stan accepted Richie's hug without hesitation. The curly haired boy wrapped his arms around Richie and let all his emotions out. As this was happening, Stan glanced down at his hand that had the cut on his palm. A heavy reminder of the blood oath that occurred not that long ago, and of what happened afterwards. Gwen kissing him...and then her telling him they couldn't be together because of IT. When Gwen had said this, Stan had been so upset. IT was gone now...they could have been together. They should have been together. Except for whatever reason Gwen thought it still wasn't safe.

Stan knew it had something to do with whatever Gwen saw when passed out after IT bit her―or maybe even before that. Regardless, Stan knew Gwen thought she was cursed to ruin people's lives. Like how she thought she did with Chase and Victor. But Stan didn't think she was a curse. He loved her and wanted to be with her...but when he made this clear to Gwen she gently turned him down. Despite the gentleness, his hurt emotions got the better of him. And as Stan had come to find out, if there was one emotion stronger than fear (and maybe even love) it was anger. And that was what Stan felt when Gwen said no to being with him. This resulted in him ignoring her (and Richie too), only to then silently watch her from afar noticing how sad she looked because of his treatment towards her. Thinking about all this again made Stan let out another cry causing Richie to tighten his hold. Regret and guilt overwhelmed the curly haired boy as he closed his eyes.

I'm sorry, Gwen.

Mike Wheeler at the moment was not a happy twelve year old boy.

A few days have passed now since his parents (his mother Karen to be more exact) told him the upsetting news. To be fair the news that was given to him hadn't been upsetting at first. In fact when Mike had been informed that his cousin Gwen was coming over his initial reaction had been a small one. Nothing major, and why would it have been anything more? Mike never before in his life had the pleasure of meeting his cousin Gwen. He had never even seen a picture of her. So he had no idea what she looked like. The only information Mike did know about her was how old she was. Gwen was a year younger than Nancy. As well as Gwen being the daughter of his mother's sister Maggie, who also had a younger brother around his own age. Richie, was his name. Who Mike had yet to meet or even see a picture of either.

Now maybe anyone else would be extra excited (maybe even nervous) to meet a distant cousin of theirs...but Mike wasn't. Not really that is. Yes, Mike could admit that he was somewhat intrigued that he was going to meet a new family member of his for the first time...and that she was coming over to live with him and his family. But that intrigue had more to do with why Gwen was coming over. When Mike asked such a question to his parents, his mother told him it was because Gwen needed time away from where she lived. To clear her mind. That honestly didn't sound like the whole truth to Mike but he decided to accept the answer for now. Besides, he knew better than to push his mother. Mike told himself that he'd find out the real reason why his cousin was coming to live with them. Eventually he would know the truth.

So that's why Mike was more curious with Gwen's arrival, rather than the excitement that should have been there but was not.

However, that childlike curiosity Mike once had at the beginning turned to anger and annoyance when he learned just where Gwen was going to be staying.

The basement.

Mike had been livid when his mother told him this. Two days before Gwen's arrival. Talk about short notice. Sure his anger and annoyance to others might be seen as uncalled for but to Mike it seemed like a natural reaction. The basement was his go to place. It was where Mike and his friends hung out all the time to play Dungeons & Dragons. The basement was basically their sanctuary...but not anymore. According to his mother, Gwen needed to stay there for the time being. It wasn't going to be a permanent stay. Just until she cleaned out and made the guest room all nice and pretty. Those were her words, not his.

Despite it not being a permanent stay, the twelve year old still found it ridiculous that his mother was letting Gwen stay in the basement in the first place. Over dinner the other day Mike had even tried to think of a way to stop Gwen from taking the basement. At first he thought asking his father for help would be a good idea but that idea quickly went out the window. It didn't take long for Mike to realize that his father would most likely not take his side. Especially not during dinner time. Ted Wheeler was always more interested in the food that Karen served for dinner. Food for Ted was always his first priority. At least it seemed that way for Mike. What a great help his father ever was to him. Anyways, Mike soon moved to a better idea and straight out suggested that Gwen room with Nancy instead, or for her to sleep on the living room couch. Of course Karen did not like either of those suggestions.

Karen flat out refused for Gwen to sleep on the living room couch. To the older woman that seemed rude and she made this perfectly clear to her son.

Now Nancy hadn't been that bothered when Mike suggested sharing a room with Gwen. Nancy thought it would be nice for her to offer. Plus it would give Nancy more of a chance to get to know her cousin. However, just when the brown haired girl was going to agree to this idea, Karen shut it down. Through the eyes of Nancy and Mike this was an odd action from their mother's part but there was a reason for this. A reason only the older woman knew about. Thanks to Maggie's warning ahead of time she informed her sister that Gwen had nightmares in the middle of the night, and that screaming always followed. Hence why Gwen needed her own place to sleep. If she roomed with Nancy that wouldn't work well. She would have kept the sixteen year old up all night and that simply wouldn't do. According to Maggie Gwen needed to sleep on her own and Karen took that advice.

Neither Mike nor Nancy knew this real reason. They just chalked it up as their mother being picky with rooming accommodations. After that Nancy kept quiet about where Gwen was going to stay. The same thing could not be said about Mike. No, he instead muttered why his mother didn't prepare the guest room sooner then. Needless to say he was rewarded with a scolding look from his parents, his mother's being the most fierce, and was given the duty of washing the dinner dishes. After that Mike kept his mouth shut. The only complaints he had now were kept in his head...or he shared them with his friends when they were alone, like in the basement. Well, when he was able to anyways because as of lately the basement had been taken over by his mother.

Karen had been cleaning, making it look presentable for Gwen. Not a lot of work had been done. It wasn't like the basement was in horrible condition. If anything it was in great condition. Which makes sense since it was always used by Mike and his friends. There was already a bed down there and practically everything else that's needed for someone. His mother though put more effort into making it look cozy for a teenage girl. The new girly decorations made Mike really hope Gwen wasn't as dainty and annoying like Nancy. Due to not knowing Gwen at all, he just assumed she was going to be that way automatically...and if true, that was going to suck. He didn't need another Nancy running around.

Either way, if Gwen was like Nancy or not, the fact remained that the basement was going to be taken over by her. A stranger. Which was what she was when Mike really thought about it. Gwen was more of a stranger than she was family. It was probably wrong to think that way but Mike was too angered and annoyed to think otherwise at the moment. Having his hangout place get taken away from him made him see without reason. Something he would later regret in doing so once getting to truly know Gwen.

Except as of right now, Gwen was viewed as the enemy...at least through Mike's eyes.

When it came to his close friends they weren't exactly on the same board with how he regarded Gwen. They were more sad than angry with having their hangout place get taken away. Except the news of Gwen's arrival (being Mike's distant cousin that they didn't know about until now) took their attention away from the whole basement drama. They were all in their own way curious to know more about her. And only one of his friends was somewhat able to hide that curiousness better than the others.

Dustin for instance had no shame in letting Mike know that he was really interested in meeting this mysterious cousin of his. Which really wasn't that surprising. He was a lot like Mike in that department. His baseball cap wearing friend was always one for mysteries. And Gwen to him at the moment was a mystery waiting to be solved.

Lucas on the other hand was the one who tried to hide his intrigue. He did his best to seem indifferent to the whole situation involving Gwen and compared to the others he did well in hiding his hyped up emotions. Except Mike, after careful scrutinizing, was still able to see the curiousness that Lucas was carrying inside. The others might have not seen it but Mike had. The slight shine in Lucas' eyes whenever he brought up this distant cousin of his gave him away.

Now out of all of Mike's friends, Will actually seemed to be the most excited to meet another family member of his. Even more so than Dustin. Mike figured out why though. It was because Gwen wasn't that much older than them. She was three years older. Which was information Mike's mother had shared publicly. And although being the shyest in the group of friends, Will also happened to be the most welcoming by far. In his own way that is. Therefore, it made sense as to why Will was so eager to meet Mike's cousin.

None of this lessened Mike's anger or annoyance. He was still heavily upset that their hangout spot was being taken away. What upset Mike even more is knowing that his friends weren't as affected as him. Yeah they were sad and expressed slight irritation, but to Mike it seemed like they were way more interested with Gwen's arrival and meeting her. Which did nothing but elevate Mike's grumpy mood.

And like lately, as Mike laid in his bed, the same brooding question he'd been having since receiving the basement news, popped into his mind: Why did she have to come now of all times?

A loud knock on his open bedroom door caught Mike's attention. He remained on his bed, but his dark brown eyes slowly looked over to the doorway. The urge to roll his eyes became strong when he saw who had knocked.

Standing there at his bedroom entrance was his older sister Nancy. She had her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the entrance. Mike could tell Nancy wasn't exactly happy with him given the frown she had on, but he at the moment wasn't as affected as he should have been.

"Hey, doofus, mom's been calling your name for the last five minutes." Nancy informed him. The sixteen year old waited to see and hear his reaction, and unsurprisingly (like most of the time) Nancy wasn't happy with what she was given.

What Nancy said made Mike furrow his eyebrows. At first he wanted to retort a witty comeback because of what Nancy called him, but what she said after that name caught his attention. His mother had been calling his name? Huh? Despite his bewilderment, Mike quickly surmised that he was too busy wallowing to even notice his mother calling him out. A brief moment of silence passed before he answered. "And?" He asked, trying to sound without a care.

Nancy narrowed her blue eyes at her younger brother. She wasn't having any of his crap today. Mike had been acting like this ever since he was told that Gwen would be staying in the basement for a little while. She thought this attitude he had going on was plain silly. So he wouldn't be able to play that dork game he and his friends were into down in the basement. So what? That didn't mean they couldn't play it in his bedroom or even in the living room. Nancy just thought her younger brother was overreacting. Like usual. Nancy concluded that Mike really needed to be more sensible.

"You need to go downstairs." Nancy finally said in a parental tone that almost sounded like her mother's. If she weren't so annoyed at Mike for his behavior she would have noticed the vocal similarities between her mother and her. But she hadn't. She was too busy trying to get Mike to listen to her. "Dad's going to be here with Gwen any second now."

Mike let out a huff. He knew his father had left a while ago to go pick up Gwen from the closest airport. She was arriving today, after all. Which once again sucked. Before his father left though, his mother did say he needed to get dressed nicely because he was going to meet his cousin. When his mother said this Mike nearly scoffed, but he was smart enough not to do so.

Displaying such an attitude would have resulted in another punishment. Maybe this time he would be ordered to clean the bathroom instead of dishes...and he did not want to do that. Still, he was more than happy to complain in his head. And that's what he did. Why was he supposed to dress nicely? It's not like they were expecting a visit from the Queen of England. It was just a family member of theirs...a distant one at that.

But like with his attitude, Mike knew there would be repercussions if he didn't listen to his mother. Hence why he was currently wearing one of his nicer outfits. Church clothes are what he called them. Not they didn't go to church much. Only when necessary. When he looked at Nancy, Mike noticed how she too was dressed up nicely. She was wearing one of her many dresses she owned. This specific one she had on was a light purple color. And her hair, despite being in its natural state, was stylized properly.

Seeing his sister dressed up that way made Mike want to roll his eyes. Nancy was not only dressing the part their mother wanted, but she was acting the part. She had been acting like the perfect daughter for about a week now. Now by all means, Nancy usually was one to follow the rules set by their parents without complaints, but as of lately she had been really pushing the whole perfect daughter image...and Mike knew why. It was because of that guy she was starting to see.

Steve Harrington.

Yeah, Mike was well aware of this. Nancy wasn't as sly as she thought she was. If she really didn't want others to know her business she would have closed her bedroom door when talking on the phone. Honestly, it's pure luck that their mother or father hadn't connected the dots as he had. Regardless, Mike knew the reason behind Nancy's behavior as of late. She acted like the well-balanced daughter because she didn't want their parents to know about the boy she had taken a romantic interest in. And what a great way to distract their parents than to listen to them (more so their mother) while waiting to welcome a family member into their home.

Yeah right.

This time Mike did roll his eyes just from that thought. As a result of this, Nancy gave him a hard look. It was almost like she knew what he was thinking about. This almost had Mike call her out, but just as he was about to say something to her, Karen's voice filled the air.

"Nancy! Michael! Come downstairs now, please!"

The Wheeler siblings broke eye contact for a brief moment before they reconnected gazes again. Nancy sighed, deciding to break the harsh tension between them. She and Mike usually didn't see eye to eye, but now wasn't the time for one of their fights. They both needed to get their acts together and go downstairs. Based on the hurried tone of voice their mother had, that meant their guest of honor was here.

"Come on." Nancy said, a bit more softer this time.

Mike noticed the difference in his older sister's voice. Despite appreciating that her voice didn't hold any displeasure this time, he still didn't want to go downstairs. She was going to be there...and he didn't want to converse with the basement thief. Except as much as he wanted to continue laying in bed, he couldn't. No doubt his mother would march upstairs and drag him by the ear if he refused to come downstairs. Well...perhaps she wouldn't take such extreme measures, but she certainly wouldn't be happy. So with a defeated expression, Mike got up from his bed.

He let Nancy lead the way as they went downstairs. It didn't take long for them to reach their destination (even with Mike's unenthusiastic steps). Once there, Mike immediately saw his mother Karen standing to the side, holding his younger sister Holly. His three year old sister, much like him and Nancy, was dressed up nicely as well. Holly, however, didn't have a care in the world with what she was wearing. She was too young to give a damn and was instead happily smiling and giggling as her mother held her.

Once he saw his mother and younger sister, it didn't take long for both Mike and Nancy to spot their father. There was nothing out of the ordinary with Ted Wheeler...well other than him holding a suitcase in one hand and two smaller travel bags in the other. There was another suitcase already on the ground. However, none of these items belonged to him...but rather the teenage girl that was standing next to him.

After having looked at their parents and younger sister, both Mike and Nancy turned their attention towards her.

So...this was Gwen. Their cousin.

The first thing Nancy noticed was how similar Gwen looked to Mike. They weren't exact copies (although others later on would say they were) but she definitely could spot facial similarities between them. Now of course Gwen's features were more feminine than Mike's given that she was a girl. Even with the tomboyish clothes Gwen had on, and the solemn expression she had plastered on her face, Nancy couldn't deny that Gwen was pretty.

Gwen had dark brown wavy hair. It was a bit longer than her own. Also, Gwen had more of a full figure body than she did, that was for sure. Curves. However, based on how Gwen was dressed, Nancy came to the conclusion that her cousin did not care about her outer appearance. It seemed that her cousin and her were the opposite when it came to clothes and presentation.

Meaning makeup as well because Gwen wasn't wearing any at the moment. This of course didn't mean that Gwen wasn't into makeup at all. Nancy's best friend Barb didn't wear a lot of makeup but she still liked wearing it every once and awhile. Except something within Nancy told her that Gwen and her weren't going to do each other's makeup anytime soon, like how Barb and her would do to each other. Despite the immediate difference between them, and the less cheerful expression Gwen had on, Nancy offered her cousin a welcome smile.

When Gwen saw her cousin Nancy smiling at her, she froze. Such a friendly gesture from a girl around her own age took Gwen off guard. It took her a few seconds before she was able to nod her head at Nancy. Unfortunately that was the closest nicest gesture Nancy was going to receive from her at the moment. Nancy's smile faltered at her lack of a joyful response but Gwen didn't care that she was appearing to be rude and cold. Her distraught emotions from leaving everyone she loved in Derry (leaving Richie and Stan) were still there...and they weren't about to leave anytime soon. Also why fake being happy? Seemed pointless to do so. Gwen, however, felt genuine emotion when she moved her dark brown eyes to the boy standing next to her older cousin. Emotions that were so strong, she felt like releasing a small cry...and she almost did.

Before seeing her shocked reaction, the first thing Mike noticed about Gwen was her outfit. Unlike most of the older girls he knew (more like who he'd see around school), Gwen didn't look to be as prissy as them...or even Nancy. Not at first glance that is.

Gwen wasn't wearing anything remotely girly. Which really just annoyed Mike considering the outfit he was wearing. Gwen hadn't dressed up nicely, so why did any of them have to? Gwen was wearing a casual outfit that consisted of a band t-shirt, dark jeans, worn out shoes, and a dark green military style jacket. If he hadn't been so irritated with the current situation he would have admired her band t-shirt that had The Clash.

Now the second thing Mike noticed (which really should have been the first thing) was that Gwen had a few similar features as him. She had the same dark brown eyes and colored hair as him, and the longer he stared at her the more he was able to distinguish the light freckles she had across her cheeks...just like him.

However, despite the obvious similarities they shared, out of annoyance towards her at the moment, Mike refused to believe what he saw. There was nothing about Gwen and him that was the same. Nothing...there couldn't be. Sure they're family but he didn't look like her. It might have been an lame excuse for others but not for Mike. He reasoned that if Nancy and him don't look that much alike (to him they didn't)...then there was no way Gwen and him could look alike.

Nope. Mike refused to believe that.

"I'm glad you guys came down." Karen said to her older children before looking between them and Gwen. She was acting as if she hadn't sensed the awkwardness that was in the air. Well she sure sensed it, unlike Ted who was as oblivious as he was with everything else.

Karen Wheeler chose to look past any awkwardness and tried moving forward. "This is your cousin, Gwen." She said starting the proper introductions with her older children. She had already introduced Holly when Gwen first stepped foot inside the house.

Holly had immediately taken a liking towards Gwen. She smiled and even released a soft laugh. And even though the fifteen year old didn't show that much emotion, Karen could tell Gwen had taken a liking to Holly as well. Her eyes gave her away. As they did with Mike. "Gwen, this is Nancy and Mike."

When Karen finished speaking she noticed how Mike's eyes were filled with what she thought was discontent. She right away sent Mike a parental look.

After his mother made the introductions (and after seeing her look thrown his way), Mike reluctantly softened his gaze. They all then waited to hear Gwen's response but the fifteen year old said nothing as she remained frozen in place. This made Mike and the others look at her oddly. Even Holly was tilting her head a bit at the teenager. Gwen was staring at Mike with wide eyes and her expression was one of pure shock. Why? None of the Wheelers knew.

Mike frowned. It was like Gwen not only was shocked by him, but maybe a little scared too. He had no clue why. After a few more seconds passed with her staying quiet, and openly staring at him, Mike finally spoke up. Not loudly but enough for his sister to hear him.

"Is she mute or something?" Mike whispered to Nancy. That probably was a mean thing to say, but he was getting seriously freaked out with Gwen's staring. No one has ever stared at him the way Gwen was doing at the moment.

Nancy in return elbowed Mike discreetly. She did not like the comment he just made, nor did she find it amusing. "Shut up." She answered quietly to her younger brother. She fixed her expression into a cordial one when she addressed her cousin. "Hello." She said politely in hopes that would get her to speak. "It's really nice to meet you." Nancy felt disappointment yet again when Gwen kept her silence, barely paying any attention to her.

Even though Mike didn't want to talk to Gwen, he figured maybe saying a few words wouldn't hurt. Perhaps him saying something would get her to finally stop her weird staring. "Hey." He simply greeted her. His voice was neither filled with pep or irritation.  

Gwen let out a low gasp. He even sounds like him. Her eyes widened even more at hearing him speak loud and clear. Before she was able to say anything, she felt her body grow weak. The last thing Gwen saw before fainting was Richie's―no―Mike's face.

Given how fast and unexpected this was, the others could only watch with shocked and concerned faces as she fell to the floor.

Chapter Text

"No, I am not bitter, I am not hateful, and I am not unforgiving. I just don't like you." ― C. JoyBell C.

Gwen didn't want to look at him. Actually, it was more like she couldn't look at her cousin...Mike Wheeler.

It just hurt too much.

However, avoiding looking at him was proving to be a difficult task.

The curiosity she had over her cousin's resemblance to her brother was still there...no matter how much she didn't want it to be. Gwen quietly admitted to herself that trying not to look at her cousin was causing her the same amount of distress as wanting to look at him. Except the inner turmoil she had wasn't as difficult as it was when she said goodbye to Richie.

Saying goodbye to Richie was probably one of the most heartbreaking experiences Gwen had ever gone through. Leaving her younger brother caused her immense heartache. The pain she felt from that hurt as much when she ended having any chances with Stan. Though doing that had been a necessary thing to do. At least that's what Gwen kept telling herself. If she didn't keep reminding herself that it had been a necessary thing to do she'd be an emotional mess...way more than she already was.

Now despite feeling her cousin's eyes on her, Gwen did her best to avoid his gaze like the plague. She looked anywhere else but him. Which included looking at the floor, the walls, and the various decors that filled the Wheeler's living room. Decor that Gwen was starting to realize was similar to the one her mother had filled in their own home. Even with all these distractions, Gwen kept hearing the same question over and over again in her head.

Why did Mike look like Richie?

Gwen felt like that was such a major slap to her face. Here was her cousin, who she was finally meeting, and he was a constant reminder of her younger brother. Her younger brother who she left behind in Derry. The similarities between them though left Gwen feeling a lot of things besides sadness. Puzzlement being one of the other main feelings. Mike and Richie looked so much alike that they could be twins. Maybe they were...in some strange Twilight Zone kind of way. Gwen inwardly shook that thought away. That sounded crazy. However, it really wasn't that crazy when compared to the shit she had seen and gone through because of IT.

"Are you sure you're feeling better, sweetie?"

Gwen's gaze automatically went to where her Aunt Karen was sitting. She was sitting next to her Uncle Ted with baby Holly on her lap. It had been about thirty minutes or so since her fainting ordeal. Something Gwen wanted to seriously move on. She regained consciousness rather quickly much to everyone's relief. Once awake the Tozier girl had been bombarded with questions by her Aunt Karen. Questions like, "Are you okay?", "Do you want to go to the doctor?", "Do you want a glass of water?"

Gwen was honestly fine. Actually, physically she was fine. Emotionally? That was a whole other thing. Although she was weirded out for an obvious reason. Still, Gwen answered that she didn't need to see a doctor. To her surprise her Aunt Karen didn't pester her as much as Gwen thought she was going to. Concern questions were still asked but Gwen didn't feel any sort of negativity coming from her aunt. Unlike when Gwen would converse with her mother.

Talking to her mother Maggie had always been tiring. That was a harsh thought to have but Gwen really had no idea how her father Wentworth could handle her mother. Gwen knew deep down that her mother meant well, but Maggie was too controlling and judgmental...two qualities Gwen heavily disliked. Gwen knew that Maggie wanted her to be the perfect daughter. That entitled dressing up, wearing makeup, and talking about girl nonsense. Gwen though wasn't like that and because of that they never got along. Gwen in the past was able to handle her mother but she couldn't anymore. Not since the events with IT. Gwen was just glad she didn't feel that way when talking with her Aunt Karen. Not yet anyways.

Gwen nodded her head. "Yeah, I think all that traveling got to me."

The Tozier girl then made the grave mistake of looking at her cousin Mike. It had been a quick look but Gwen still saw the way her cousin was staring at her. Mike had a narrowed look and although it was not necessarily filled with hate, Gwen could tell there was some sort of attitude behind his gaze. This wasn't the first time he had been looking at her this way. Gwen unfortunately had seen that look when they were touring around the house. Or rather when she was shown where she was going to be staying until the guest room upstairs was ready.

Gwen initially had no issues with staying in the basement. Knowing she was going to be staying there didn't faze her in the slightest. After what she went through with IT, staying in a basement was smooth sailing. The basement wasn't at all scary looking anyways. Nor was it dirty in any way. It was actually in good condition. The bed and the furniture down there made it livable. Nothing in the basement affected her. If anything it was the look Mike had on when they were down in the basement that got to her. It was a sarcastic look mixed with heavy detest that said, "Thanks a lot." Because of that Gwen assumed the basement probably meant something special to Mike. Maybe it was some sort of hangout place for him and his friends. Whatever the reason, her dear cousin sure disliked her for taking momentary residence down there.

That just made things even more awkward for Gwen. It also didn't make it easier to be around Mike either considering how he must now hold some sort of grudge against her for taking the basement. And now here she was sitting down next to her cousin Nancy.

Little to no surprise Mike had taken a seat next to his parents across from Nancy and her. Despite sensing the distress between them, Gwen was really relieved when Mike had chosen not to sit down next to his parents. Mike sitting next to her would have been weird. However, as she now realizes, having him sit across from her wasn't much help either. She was staring forward, making eye contact with her Aunt Karen. Gwen tried her best to avoid Mike's gaze again. She did not want to see that narrowed look from before.

"That makes sense." Ted added to the conversation. Gwen carefully looked his way. "You know I once had a friend in college who walked a block and then fainted straight afterwards."

There was an awkward silent pause after that was said.

"Oh." Gwen murmured, bemused. She really had no clue on what to say to that. How in the world was that supposed to compare with what happened to her? Besides the fainting of course. Walking a block and traveling to different states didn't compare. She knew that her uncle was perhaps trying to create small talk with her, and as much as she appreciated that, Gwen hoped he would stop talking. However, her uncle wasn't quite done talking yet.

"From what I was told he now works at a gym."

Gwen wasn't going to respond but at the last second she changed her mind. Maybe engaging more in the conversation would create a more open atmosphere between her and the Wheeler family. She tried to make herself sound more interested and curious. "So...he's a trainer?"

Ted shrugged his shoulders and then shook his head. He appeared nonchalant with what he said next. "No, he's a janitor."

Gwen let out a low cough. That just added to the awkwardness.

From beside her husband, Karen let out a laugh. Gwen right away could tell it wasn't one hundred percent genuine. She knew this because it sounded like the laugh her mother would give her father after he told a really bad joke. It was just forceful. The Tozier girl was a bit relieved when she saw how none of the Wheeler children reacted in the same way their mother had. Not even Holly cracked a smile or let out a giggle. Apparently even young children like her already know what's funny and what's not.

Speaking of Holly, Gwen was once again bewildered when she saw how the young girl was trying to reach out to her. Holly shifted around Karen's lap before the older woman got her to calm down. "Oh, see I told you she likes you." Karen smiled at her niece.

Gwen forced herself to smile back but she knew it must have come out as a grimace. Nowadays it was hard to give a convincing smile. Thankfully no one commented on it. However, the next comment that was said didn't help with the awkwardness between Mike and Gwen.

"Holly likes anybody." Mike muttered.

That got Mike a somewhat warning look from his mother and a stern one from Nancy. His father of course had been oblivious to that interaction as he had been to Mike's comment. Gwen though didn't give any type of verbal response, letting Mike take that as if she hadn't heard him. Except she had and as much as she didn't want his comment to leave a sting it still did. Feeling uncomfortable, Gwen just stared down at her shoes.

"Say Nancy." Karen suddenly announced catching her daughter's attention. "I have an idea. Why don't you take Gwen out for a stroll? Show her around town."

Nancy didn't find any issues with that. "Sure." She answered, nodding her head. Nancy thought spending one on one time with Gwen would perhaps be beneficial in strengthening their cousin relationship.

Unlike Nancy, Gwen wasn't thinking the same way. The Tozier girl lifted her gaze to stare at her aunt. "Really, that can wait for later." She hurriedly protested. "I don't want to be a bother. Nancy probably already has plans anyways." She added the last part less rushed.

"I actually don't." Nancy smiled at her cousin.

"See, it's not a bother." Karen assured her niece. "Besides, you said you're feeling better, right?"

Gwen had a feeling that denying wouldn't help her at all. She reluctantly relented to the truth. "You're right. I did say that."

Karen accepted the response as a yes. "I think you're really going to like Hawkins." She merrily told her. "It's a small town but you're from a small town anyways. And as I always say, quality over quantity."

Mike resisted the urge to correct his mother. She had never said that before. He managed to control himself from letting his attitude take over again. The Wheeler boy saw a golden opportunity here with having Gwen out of the house. He wasn't about to let that go to waste. His lips went upwards, forming a bright smile. "I think it's a great idea." He interjected with an upbeat voice. "Nancy and Gwen should totally have some girl time."

Mike ignored the bemused expression Nancy was throwing him. He noticed for a moment there how even his father had given him a strange look before he returned to his usual nonchalant self. His mother though didn't seem to catch his motive. Which he was glad for. The fake smile he had on almost fell when he locked eye contact with Gwen...again.

Unlike last time, Gwen didn't back down with the staring. She sensed something was off with how Mike was behaving. This time it wasn't Mike who was narrowing his eyes but instead it was Gwen. The suspicious look she had on almost caused Mike to break his faux joyful demeanor he had going on. Thankfully that didn't end up happening because of his mother.

Karen smiled at her son. She was glad that he was finally behaving and not letting the negative attitude from before get to him. Not long after her gaze then shifted onto Gwen again.

Noticing the interaction between mother and son caused Gwen to falter her staring at Mike. Her suspicion from before went away once finally admitting defeat to the whole town outing. Gwen held in the exasperated sigh she wanted to desperately let out. Perhaps she had been somewhat wrong about her Aunt Karen. Gwen was starting to find out that her Aunt Karen could be as pushy as her mother. Which really shouldn't have been a shocking thing considering Maggie and Karen were sisters after all. With this thought in mind, Gwen instead smiled tightly. "Alright then." As a way to feel better (emotionally), Gwen told herself that perhaps leaving the house would be a good thing. It did give her time to distance herself from Mike, who she was yet getting used to the fact that he looked exactly like Richie.

"Great!" Karen exclaimed, causing Holly to let out a giggle. "Now you and Nancy have fun exploring the town. Just come back before dinner starts."

Nancy reassured her mother they would as she got up from the living room couch. Gwen took that as her cue to get up and follow her cousin. As they left none of the remaining Wheelers had noticed the disconsolate expression Gwen had on.

Karen was too busy trying to entertain Holly as she walked with her towards the kitchen. Ted's attention was on the newspaper he had grabbed once his daughter and niece walked out the living room. As for Mike...well, once Gwen left with Nancy, Mike wasted no time in calling his friends over.

That was of course after he quickly asked his mother for permission. And after that last nice comment he made, Karen sure enough told him it was alright.

It didn't take long for the remaining party to show up. Not that it ever really took long for the boys to show up at Mike's place. Whenever the Wheeler boy would contact them saying it was urgent they knew they had to hurry up. The first one to show up was Lucas since he lived the closest to Mike. The second was Dustin and lastly Will.

The three boys had made their way inside the Wheeler house until they were standing out the familiar basement door. Out of all of them it had been Will to ask the question they (besides Mike) they had been thinking.

"Mike, why are we standing outside your basement door?" Will asked, severely puzzled. Mike had told them to come over but he hadn't said the reason why. Although the Byers' boy had a guess as to why he wanted the whole group to meet up.

"We're doing an investigation." Mike whispered to his three friends. He made sure to be quiet in case his mother heard him. He wasn't so worried about his father hearing them. When he had answered the front door Mike noticed his father was heavily invested with the newspaper he was reading. Nothing out of the ordinary there. So he had no worries about his father figuring them out. His mother though...that's a different story. Mike took comfort that she was still in the kitchen preparing dinner for when Gwen came back. Regardless of that, Mike was still going to be cautious.

Will frowned. "On your cousin?" He inquired. "Why?"

Mike grew even more serious than before. "Because I have a feeling she's hiding something." He answered back. Later on Mike would realize how lame of a response this was but at the moment he didn't see it as one. Mike Wheeler was just trying to snoop around because he was unhappy with the changes his cousin Gwen had brought with her arrival.

"Hiding what? She just got here." Will pointed out. He found it ridiculous that Mike was going through all this trouble just to get some sort of dirt on his cousin because he was unhappy with the basement arrangements.

Mike didn't see any reasoning with what Will just said. "Exactly."

"Exactly what?" Will softly questioned.

"I don't care what your reason is." Dustin whispered back to Mike. His lisp was way more noticeable than usual this time as he spoke. "I'm always up for some detective work." He excitedly finished saying. He would be lying if he said he wasn't at all curious with what they could find in Gwen's belongings. Yes, it was an invasion of privacy but his detective mode was overpowering his conscience at the moment.

Lucas decided to add his own thoughts. He shrugged his shoulders. "It's not like we got anything else to do."

Two out of three approvals from his friends was enough for Mike to proceed with his plan. With him in the lead, Mike led his friends down to the familiar basement. He then walked over to where the bed was. Following behind him was a curious Lucas, excited Dustin, and a reluctant Will. The Byers' boy had been quiet when walking down the basement but he was able to find his voice again when he saw Mike reach for one of Gwen's bags next to the bed.

"We're really gonna go through her stuff?" Will asked in disbelief. Guilt had already started to form inside him from something that hasn't happened yet but was soon going to.

"It's just one of her travel bags." Mike assured him. "It's not like I'm going through her suitcase and looking at her clothes." He said, his face pinching with disgust. "Now that would be weird."

As if this wasn't weird enough, Will thought.

"Open that sucker up." Dustin prompted.

Not needing to be told twice, Mike did just that and dumped the belongings onto the bed. All four boys quickly took notice of the various things that had fallen out. There was a lot to look at but some of the things Mike noticed right away were cassette tapes, a few pens, two school notebooks, a Walkman, a Polaroid camera, and last but not least a carton of cigarettes.

Mike picked up the carton of cigarettes. It appeared that Gwen was a smoker. That certainly surprised him. His cousin didn't look like a smoker. Though judging by the feel of an almost empty carton of cigarettes, Gwen was quite the smoker. Mike knew this information wouldn't sit well with his parents, especially with his mother. So he made sure to save this information in case he ever needed to use it later on.

"She has good taste in music." Lucas suddenly said, gaining Mike's and the others attention. He tossed aside the carton of cigarettes and got closer to Lucas as did the others. They were now each examining the various cassette tapes Gwen had brought. She had a lot of different bands...and Mike hated to admit that his cousin had good taste in music. Though what did he expect? She had been wearing a t-shirt with The Clash on it.

Mike wasn't the only one who was admiring her music choices. Will smiled as he picked up a specific cassette tape. "She listens to The Clash."

Mike was about to respond but his attention was caught by something else. "Why does she have so many pill bottles?" He questioned with annoyance and uneasiness. Looking at the pill bottles caused frustration to build inside him. He did not recognize any of the names that were on them nor for what they were for.

"She just has two." Will shyly corrected him.

Mike, however, remained persistent. He pursed his lips. "Two bottles too many."

Will frowned, finding the statement ridiculous. Dustin's voice (a surprised one) caught his and the others' attention.

"Dude! Look at this!" Dustin all but threw the item he had found into Mike's hands.

The item that caused such a reaction out of Dustin was a photo. In the photo was a group of kids. Mike and the others assumed the kids in the photo were friends based on how cordially they appeared to be with one another. In that group of friends was Gwen. She was sitting on a bench between a curly haired boy and a darker skin boy. There was a smaller looking boy with a fanny pack sitting on the other side of the darker skinned boy, and a heavier set boy was sitting on the other side of the curly haired boy. A girl with short red hair was standing beside another boy with light brownish hair, and lastly there was a boy with glasses wearing a Hawaiian button-up shirt with a ridiculous smile on his face.

Mike Wheeler already knew who that last boy was. The boy in the photo practically screamed mischief.

"That must be her brother." Mike evenly told his friends. He was doing his best to keep in his shock. Just deny what you just saw. Mike thought. I look nothing like him. Just as how I look nothing like Gwen. No resemblance whatsoever.

"Your cousin Richie?" Will asked. He remembered the name because Mike had told him before.

Mike nodded his head, inwardly glad Will hadn't pointed out the obvious elephant in the room. The same one he was straight out denying. However, someone quickly did.

Dustin's eyes remained wide as he kept looking at the photo. "You look just like him!" He animatedly pointed at his cousin Richie." His facial features were twisting in bemusement territory. "Or he looks a lot like you. Whichever way you want to phrase it."

Mike immediately frowned. "No we do not." He protested. Annoyance began to grow within him again from hearing Dustin say that.

"What are you blind?" Dustin scoffed. "You two look alike. He just has slightly shorter hair than you and wears glasses, but other than that you guys could be twins."

"I have to agree with Dustin on this one." Lucas added studying the photo as well. It was beyond freaky how much Mike and his cousin Richie looked alike, as Dustin had pointed out. "It's hard to see past the similarities between you two."

Mike turned to look at Will. He had yet to say anything regarding the photograph. "What do you think?"

Will lowered his eyes, staying silent. That was enough for Mike to know exactly what he was thinking. The Wheeler boy let out an exasperated sigh. "We do not look―"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

All four boys froze out of fear. None of them had to turn around to know who that was. Despite Lucas, Dustin, and Will having never heard her voice before they knew it was her. They also knew what kind of expression was on her face. None of that took away their shocked demeanor when they finally saw her.

There stood Gwen Tozier a few feet away from them. Absolute fury was written all over her face. Mike gulped, inwardly yelling at himself for not having heard her come down the basement. He stared at his cousin, warily.

The older girl all but stomped her way towards them. Gwen swiftly grabbed the photo out of Mike's hold. A sort of soft look crossed over her face when she carefully tucked it inside her green military style jacket. All of the boys were then shocked when that soft look went away. The infuriated one from before was now in its place.

"Don't ever touch this photo." Gwen glared daggers at all of them. "If I ever find any of you going through my belongings again without my permission, your ass is grass. Do you understand?" She paused and quickly saw how the boys shakily nodded their heads. Despite not verbally answering her, Gwen took their responses. "Good. Now get out." When they remained frozen in shock, Gwen took action. Her dark brown eyes blazed with anger as she yelled the next part. "Get out!"

That made all four boys sprint up the stairs.

All four of them were able to regulate their breathing once at the top. The nervousness they'd felt when experiencing Gwen's anger was starting to melt away. Dustin and Will said nothing. Will's guilt didn't allow him to say anything. While Dustin now realized just how wrong it had been to look through her stuff. Lucas felt bad as well but he couldn't get the memory of Gwen yelling at them out of his head. Which is why he said what he said next.

"Dude, your cousin has issues." Lucas commented, freaked out by Gwen's outburst.

Mike glanced towards the basement. "Yeah..." He muttered. "She does."

Chapter Text

"Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely." ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

It occurred to Gwen not long after she yelled at her cousin and his friends that perhaps she overreacted.

Seeing the four of them looking through her belongings wasn't really the cause of her anger. It was annoying to have her stuff being looked through but her anger was actually directed onto the photo that Mike had been holding. That photo was the only one she had of her and the other Losers. It took place during the fourth of July. There was no other photo she owned that had all of them together...just that one. If the photo got lost or ruined in any way...Gwen didn't even want to think about that.

So, yeah, seeing her cousin holding that precious photo of hers caused that outburst.

Except now that she was alone (finally calming down) she felt regret for letting her anger get out of control.

Not to mention it was beyond awkward when dinner time came.

Her Aunt Karen ended up cooking a chicken dinner but Gwen couldn't enjoy it. Not with the way Mike kept warily glancing at her from across the table. Gwen didn't blame him though. If someone had yelled at her the same way she yelled at him she would be on guard too.

On the other hand her Aunt Karen, Nancy, and Holly seemed to enjoy dinner. Except not nearly as much as her Uncle Ted. From the way he chewed his food Gwen could tell he really enjoyed the meal. Good for her Aunt Karen, Gwen had thought. Whenever her mother made chicken her father always tried his best to act as if he loved the meal. Gwen knew better. Clearly she didn't get her acting skills from her father.

Following the next morning, Gwen was surprised when she woke up fine. She hadn't woken up in the middle of the night screaming. She thought for sure she was going to but she didn't. Gwen knew better than to think her nightmares were over for good. Those haunting nightmares would return soon enough.

Breakfast with the Wheelers was exactly how dinner had been the day before. Awkward when it came to Mike and pretty much alright with everyone else. Her Aunt Karen even remembered she wasn't a huge fan of waffles. A little fact that Gwen shared about herself during dinner. Her Aunt Karen was nice enough to make her pancakes and eggs. A kind gesture that Gwen appreciated.

As breakfast progressed, Gwen witnessed how Mike was rather humorous when it came to mornings. At least towards Nancy...and that was something the older teen did not appreciate. However, Gwen would have taken humor instead of the cold shoulder she was getting from him. After breakfast was over everyone went their own ways.

Now here she was exploring the town of Hawkins...again. Only this time she was alone.

Gwen didn't mind being alone. She actually preferred it.

She got the official tour yesterday thanks to Nancy. It was as much fun as it was informative. Nancy did invite her to hang out today again but Gwen politely declined. It wasn't like Gwen minded spending time with her cousin. Nancy was actually nice. And Gwen as of recently had been seriously lacking in the friend department. Especially when it came to friends who were girls.

As Gwen had come to learn, Nancy differed from Beverly and Francine.

Nancy was the complete opposite of Beverly. Gwen at the moment couldn't find any similarities between them. With Francine, however, the only thing Gwen could compare her to Nancy was that her blonde haired friend had girly tendencies (way more than Beverly) but she also had a tomboy side to her. Nancy, as Gwen noticed, didn't. Gwen was able to relate with Francine because of that tomboy side. Her cousin was all makeup products, dresses, and etc. Which wasn't a bad thing...Gwen just didn't feel close to her. Which sucked because she saw how hard Nancy was trying to include her into her life.

She really didn't deserve her kindness.

On a somewhat positive note, through Nancy, Gwen got to meet Barb. Barb was Nancy's best friend and from first impressions, Barb seemed nice. Plus the color of her hair reminded Gwen of Beverly. The hair color reminder was bittersweet.

Gwen's current movements halted when she saw the familiar store she had seen yesterday during her tour. It was the Melvald's General Store that was next to the RadioShack the town had. Gwen didn't get a chance to go inside yesterday and she was curious.

Being inside the store now reminded Gwen of Keene's Pharmacy. Despite the store being bigger, the decor was pretty much the same. However, Gwen figured all town stores might as well look the same. In fact, they were so alike that Gwen didn't have difficulty finding the candy section. As she walked to the candy section, Gwen got a good view of who was inside the store.

There were a few customers hanging around and two people working as cashiers. A man and a woman. Gwen though paid more attention to the woman. She had dark hair and looked to be in her late thirties or so. Way younger looking than her co-worker. Now the reason why Gwen's attention lingered on the woman was because of her hair. The woman had shoulder length hair. That was the hair length Gwen had been wanting for a while now.

Realizing she had been looking at the woman for too long, Gwen refocused her gaze. She looked at the various candies that were on display. It didn't take long for her to choose which one she wanted. She grabbed a chocolate bar and as discreetly as possible put it inside one of her back jean pockets.

Gwen had every intention of paying for the candy but after stepping inside the store she was reminded of the time Beverly shoplifted from Keene's Pharmacy. A happy memory despite the action being considered a crime. Although Gwen had shoplifted before, she wanted to experience the same thrill she got when she did it herself. However, the thrill wasn't there. Maybe it was because Beverly wasn't there but it wasn't as fun as it was before. Not that shoplifting was supposed to be fun. It was just a fun memory she shared with Beverly. One that built their friendship.

Disappointed that there wasn't any thrill (or a spark of nostalgia from the friendship she formed with Beverly), Gwen considered putting the candy back. Except...that didn't end up happening.

"You gonna pay for that?"

It was a male's voice, and it was one Gwen had never heard before. Despite being startled, Gwen managed to keep her composure as she turned to face said male voice. Gwen's composure almost fell apart once she saw the man.

He was fairly tall, had brown hair and dark blue eyes. Somewhat scruffy looking in Gwen's opinion. He also looked to be in his late thirties. However, none of that was what almost caused her composure to fall apart. The man was wearing a uniform. He was a cop. Actually, he was the Chief according to his badge and from the name tag that was also there his name was Hopper.

Freakin' great, Gwen thought to herself. Outside she seemed fine but on the inside she was panicking. From just one look alone the man seemed to be the type that didn't take shit from people. Gwen had no idea how she hadn't noticed him before. Inwardly, Gwen was scolding herself. It felt like forever before she found her voice.

"I already did." She flat out lied, managing to shrug her shoulders.

"I was hoping you wouldn't lie." The man (or Hopper as his name tag read) sternly told her. "I know you didn't pay for that."

Despite his serious appearance and her nervousness, Gwen kept her attitude. She scoffed. "What are you a stalker? Yikes."

Hopper wasn't falling for her humor. "Young lady I should have you arrested." He told her as a way to frighten her into telling the truth, and apologize for stealing. Sure it was something simple as candy but it was still stealing.

Gwen rose an eyebrow, uncaring. "For a chocolate bar? What can I say? It's that time of the month and I had a craving. Do you want me to apologize for being a girl?"

Hopper took a step back, thrown off by her remark. Who was this girl? From the first glance he got of her she put off this sort of innocent vibe. Sure her style could be taken in as tomboyish but her brown eyes and soft features told a different story. Now that he was interacting with her, Hopper knew she wasn't the type to be so innocent. Still he was confused as to how a girl who looks so innocent can have an uncaring attitude. Clearly in this case looks can be deceiving.

"What's your name?" Hopper asked, returning to his stern self.

Gwen sighed but withheld the eye-roll she wanted to let out. Gwen honestly didn't have the highest opinion when it came to the authorities. Henry's father, Oscar "Butch" Bowers was the blame for that. Now Gwen knew not all cops were as awful and lowlifes as Henry's father had been, but at the moment she couldn't get past her need to one up this Chief with attitude.

So that's why she went by the name of…

"Kate Bush."

Gwen smiled as innocently as possible. She hoped that he would fall for her lie on account on how funny that would have been. However, she should have known the famous singer's name of Kate Bush would have been recognized.

"Nice try." Hopper replied, bored. Clearly her answer did not amuse him. "Your real name."

Gwen dropped the act just a bit. "Gwen Tozier." She admitted, dryly.

The man narrowed his eyes. "You're not from around here." He knew from the moment he saw her that she wasn't a resident. Hopper had lived here for years and he just about knew everybody in Hawkins.

"That obvious, huh?" Gwen retorted.

Before he was able to answer, a new voice jumped into their conversation. This one was female.

"Is there a problem here?"

When Gwen turned to said voice she became aware that it belonged to the woman that had been working at the cashier. The same woman Gwen had been staring at when she first came in.

"Yes, Joyce, it appears that we have a shoplifter here." Hopper told her evenly. "By this Tozier kid."

The woman, who Gwen now knew was named Joyce, turned her attention onto her. Gwen expected to see a look of anger on her face but instead her eyes were wide with surprise. "Tozier? Your first name wouldn't be Gwen would it?" She asked, completely ignoring the shoplifting part that was mentioned.

Gwen stared at her with a muddled expression. "Uh, yeah. How do you know that?" Adding to her surprise, Joyce offered her a smile.

"Your Aunt Karen is a friend of mine." Joyce shared with her. "She told me her niece would be coming into town to stay with her. I didn't know you were already here though." She paused before offering her a hand. "I'm Joyce Byers, it's nice to meet you Gwen."

Gwen stared at her hand, blinking a few times. It was as if she had no idea what to do next. She couldn't remember the last time an adult (an adult who wasn't family) wanted to shake her hand. Nonetheless an adult who wasn't the least bit angry at the fact that she was caught shoplifting.

"Oh...it's nice to meet you." Gwen said, accepting her hand. If this woman really was a friend of her aunt's then she could very much inform her of this situation. Gwen inwardly sighed. This day just kept getting better and better. Well, this is what happens when you try shoplifting.

"Sorry to interrupt this little moment but this whole shoplifting thing hasn't been resolved." Hopper right away added once the handshake between the two of them was over. He didn't want either of them to lose track of what even started this whole encounter.

Joyce looked at Gwen before she turned to face Hopper. "There was no shoplifting." She simply told him.

Hopper frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, there was no shoplifting." Joyce repeated herself, sounding so sure. "I told her I'd pay for it. As a sort of welcome to Hawkins treat."

This made Gwen look at her oddly. She was lying for her...but why?

Hopper looked at Joyce suspiciously. "Since when?"

"Since now." Joyce answered, narrowing her eyes a bit. "Is that a problem?"

Hopper let out a sigh. "Joyce, you really shouldn't..."

"She just came into town." Joyce interrupted. She lowered her voice as she leaned in more towards him. "Cut her some slack, Hopper. It's just candy anyways."

When Joyce leaned back she saw how Hopper looked rather reluctant. The pause that filled the air seemed really long when in reality it was less than ten seconds. To her relief and to Gwen's shock he ended up agreeing with Joyce. "Fine, but just this once."

"Thank you.." Gwen rapidly said. It was pretty obvious that most of her thanks was being directed onto Joyce.

Joyce didn't say anything. She just smiled at her once more and then left towards the cashier again. Not having the older woman around was Gwen's cue to leave. Just as she was about to leave though Hopper spoke up. The tone of voice was just as stern as when he had first spoken to her.

"If I ever catch you stealing from here or anywhere else..." Hopper began saying.

"You won't." Gwen added artfully. "Catch me stealing...that is."

The way she said it made it seem as if she would be stealing and that didn't sit well with Hopper. His blue eyes were sharp as he looked at her. "Just so you know, I'll be keeping a close eye on you."

Gwen didn't let his sharp gaze get to her. She laughed. "Like that's not creepy or anything." Her gaze landed on the pack of cigarettes that were peaking out of his uniform pocket. "Marlboros, huh? I hear Camels are better." She told him with a grin and then quickly she left the store. Gwen didn't at all see the annoyed expression that was on his face.

With that interaction alone, Jim Hopper already knew that this Gwen Tozier girl was going to be a handful.

Gwen decided she'd best head back to her aunt and uncle's place after almost getting into trouble with the law. One run in with the authorities was enough for the day. She caught a break thanks to that Joyce lady and she wasn't about to push her luck.

Before entering the house, Gwen had seen three bikes laid on the front lawn. That meant Mike's friends from yesterday must have been there. So, the chances of running into one of them were high and that's exactly what ended up happening.

Right when Gwen was about to open the fridge someone came into the kitchen. It was the much scrawny looking one from Mike's group of friends. Immediately once he saw her his brown eyes filled with what Gwen could describe as alarm.

"Oh, sorry, I just wanted to grab a soda." He said in a rushed way. Clearly he was nervous from just being in the same room as here. Her outburst from yesterday really got to him too.

"Here." Gwen handed him a soda can.

"Thanks." He quietly said as he took the drink from her. He then stood there awkwardly, as if waiting for something. Or it could have been possible that he was just too afraid to move because of her.

Gwen didn't like that possibility but it was a fair one. She realized had to apologize to all of them eventually. She figured she'd start now by apologizing to him.

"Look about the last time I saw you..." Gwen started off saying. "I'm sorry for acting the way I did. I shouldn't have said that to you and the others."

"No, don't apologize." The boy quickly interjected much to Gwen's surprise. The alarm that had been there in his eyes was starting to disappear the more he spoke now. "We shouldn't have looked through your stuff. That was wrong and I feel terrible that it even happened in the first place."

Gwen let out a relieved sigh. "Well, horrible first impressions aside...my name's Gwen as you already know, and you are?"

The boy smiled. "Will Byers."

"Byers?" Gwen looked at him with familiarity now. "Is your mom Joyce?"

Will nodded his head. "Yeah...you met her?"

"Yeah today when I went to the store." Gwen told him. "She's cool." She casually added.

Will struggled with his reply. "Oh...yeah. I guess she is."

He was surprised by what Gwen told him. Most of the time when people described his mom (and by people he meant his friends and even Jonathan) they'd say she was nice. However, Will couldn't remember the last time someone said that his mom was cool. He wondered just what kind of first interaction they had in order for the teen girl to think that way about his mom. From the looks of it he figured it must have been a good one.

After his response, Gwen took a real good look at Will Byers. The longer she stared at him the more a feeling of recognition became too apparent to look pass. Now that she thought about it, Will actually reminded Gwen of Eddie. Just like how Barb reminded Gwen of Beverly. Will and Eddie had that fragile looking adorable thing going on. The similarities were nice as they were saddening. Gwen really did miss Eddie. Just as much as she missed the others.

"I really like your music collection." Will suddenly said, causing Gwen to falter in her thoughts. Not catching what he said, she looked at him, puzzled. Will became sheepish as he explained. "I noticed that you have a lot of cassette tapes of bands that my older brother Jonathan and I like."

Gwen's puzzled expression disappeared. A softer one replaced it. She wasn't bothered by the mention of the snooping now that he had apologized. "I'm a music lover. Preferably rock."

"Me too." Will brightly told her. "My favorite band is The Clash. What about you?"

Gwen whistled. "Gosh that's such a tough question. I love a lot of bands but if I had to pick one I'd say The Smiths."

"I heard their single, Hand in Glove. I liked it." Will said with further interest into the conversation. "What about your favorite singer?"

Gwen answered that easily. "David Bowie."

Will's eyes gleamed at her answer. "I love David Bowie."

"Isn't he just amazing?" Gwen exclaimed.

Will nodded his head. "He is. A lot of people don't seem to like his music or style but I do."

"Dude, his music and style is amazing." Gwen said with excitement. "And that's coming from someone who doesn't even like fashion." She laughed causing Will to laugh along. "I think people who say he's weird are just jealous of how talented and beautiful he is." She said in a more earnest voice. "People usually put down what they don't classify as normal, but really what is normal?" Gwen often thought a lot about that ever since the events with IT. Nothing was normal to her anymore.

Will didn't say anything, just nodded his head. He was happy to hear her say this. The only other person he talked music with was Jonathan. He once talked about it with his dad but that didn't go so well. It just made Will glad that he was no longer living under the same roof.

"Anyways, if you ever want to borrow one of my cassettes just ask." Gwen kindly told him.

Will looked at her in disbelief. "Really?"

Gwen nodded her head. "Yeah."

Just as Will was about to respond Mike's voice filled the air by him calling out his name. Will looked up towards the ceiling before looking at Gwen again. He now had a somewhat sheepish expression.

"I should go." He started telling her. "We're playing Dungeons & Dragons in Mike's room."

"You guys play that?" Gwen asked, intrigued. She never played the game but she had heard of it. Richie brought it up once or twice...though it was more out of a joking manner than actually wanting to play it.

"Yeah, we're really into it. We usually play in the basement but..." Will awkwardly dragged the sentence.

Gwen put two and two together. She let out a sigh. "I took the Dungeons & Dragons hangout spot from you guys. God, no wonder Mike's upset. Well that and because I went complete psycho."

"You were just upset." Will quietly said.

"Still..." Gwen softly said. "I'm gonna apologize to him and the others as well."

"Dustin and Lucas." Will informed her of his friends' names.

Gwen nodded her head. "Dustin and Lucas."

Mike's impatient voice filled the air again causing Will to finally start moving. "Well, I'm gonna go now." He smiled at her. "It was nice officially meeting you, Gwen."

"It was nice officially meeting you too, Will." Gwen responded, giving Will an honest smile.

The smaller boy used his free hand to wave goodbye as he left the kitchen. When she was alone again Gwen was left with her thoughts. That brief talk with Will almost felt as if she had been talking to one of the Losers.

Maybe she found someone she'd be able to connect with while in Hawkins.

Chapter Text

"I don't have pet peeves like some people. I have whole kennels of irritation." ― Whoopi Goldberg

"No fuckin' way he looks exactly like me."

"I'm telling you that he does." Gwen replied, trying her best to not laugh. She missed hearing her brother's voice and even more so when it came to his cussing. It was oddly comforting hearing him speak in that way. Which he had been doing ever since she told him how he looked like their cousin Mike.

Richie scoffed over the phone. "I'll believe it when I see it in person."

Gwen rolled her eyes despite her younger brother not being able to see her. He of course did not believe her one bit. Which was more amusing than annoying. "Fine, but when you do I'll be here to say I told you so."

"Whatever." Richie laughed again. His laughter faltered with the next question he asked. "So...how are you?"

Gwen noticed how uncertain he sounded. It was almost as if asking that question was off limits or something. She could understand why that was. "Fine." She answered as nonchalantly as possible. There was a pause that had Gwen already knowing what was about to be asked next. And of course the question was asked.

"How have you been sleeping?"

Gwen let out a sigh. "The nightmares haven't arrived yet. My mind's just been all over the place since I got here. I'm sure they'll start soon enough." She downheartedly added the last part.

"Maybe they've stopped for good." Richie was quick to reason. He sounded hopeful, more hopeful than herself. Though that wasn't saying much because nowadays anyone could sound more hopeful than her.

Gwen scoffed. "Doubt it."

"Well, I hope they don't return." Richie continued saying. "I hate that you're still thinking of...you know who."

Yeah, Gwen did know who or rather what, Richie was talking about.

IT.

"Me too, Richie." Gwen quietly replied. "Me too." She briefly touched her right shoulder. Even through the worn out band t-shirt she was wearing she could still feel the bite that IT left there. Despite the bite no longer being blood red, it still looked angry. The scar the bite left would forever be there. That's why she always did her best to hide it. Luckily hiding the scar wasn't an issue thanks to where it was. She'd really only have to worry about others seeing it when summer time came. Gwen though would figure something out.

"You know Stan came to the house." Richie suddenly told her. Gwen's eyes widened. She felt her heartbeat go faster. Stan's face popped into her head but she tried thinking about something else. She couldn't let his soft brown eyes or his curly hair get to her. Still...she was curious.

"What when?"

"The day that you left." Richie confessed to her. "I guess he wanted to say goodbye but he didn't get here in time."

Gwen lowered her gaze to the floor. To push away the tears that wanted to come out, she paid attention to the floor. It was really clean. She had come to learn that her Aunt Karen liked keeping a clean house. Much like her own mother. Speaking of mothers...

"I tried telling him that I was leaving but his mom said he wasn't home at the time." Gwen admitted to Richie. She was proud of herself with how evenly she sounded despite feeling like an absolute crying mess on the inside. "I guess she told him too late."

"I can give him this number."

Even though he couldn't see her, Gwen shook her head. Whatever improvement she said with her emotions (when it came to missing Stan and all the Losers) began to fall apart. "No, don't."

There was a long sigh on the other end of the phone. "Gwen..."

"Richie, please." Gwen pleaded. "Not now...later."

"Okay...later." Richie reluctantly agreed.

Gwen thanked Richie and then they continued to talk over the phone for another ten minutes before her Aunt Karen told her it was time for bed. As they talked though Gwen couldn't help but think of Stan. She told herself that when she spoke to the curly haired boy again that she'd be in a much better place emotionally.

Mike Wheeler was asleep, quite peacefully.

That was until he heard the blood-curdling screams. He nearly fell out of his bed because of how sudden the screams were and because of how pain filled they sounded. He scrambled out of his bed only to meet up with Nancy in the already lit hallway.

"What's going on?" Mike anxiously asked her. Nancy's hair wasn't neatly styled as it usually was. It was a bit messy but that was understandable given that she had been asleep and she didn't have a chance to properly comb her locks. If it wasn't for what was going on Mike would have made a comment about his sister's hair. Instead he waited for her answer to his question.

He realized though that she didn't seem to have a verbal answer. She just looked towards the direction where the screams were coming from. Her eyes were wide and anxious. Mike did the same as he followed her gaze.

The basement.

He frowned in concern. "Is that Gwen?"

Nancy nodded her head, just as worried and even scared. This time she was able to find her voice. "Yeah, I think it is."

The two siblings jumped a bit at the sound of a door opening. They relaxed though once they saw who opened the door.

Karen appeared in the hallway with Ted slowly trailing behind her. The older woman saw her children standing in the hallway. She spared them a look. "It's nothing." She walked past them. "You kids just go back to your rooms." She said nothing else as she hurriedly made her way down the stairs. Mike and Nancy already knew she was heading to the basement.

"She's kidding, right?" A look of disbelief was set on Mike's face as he spoke with his older sister. "It sounds like she's being murdered."

"Mom said it was nothing, so that means everything's okay." Nancy tried her best to sound as calm as possible but even she couldn't stop the slight tremor in her voice. It was like she was trying to convince herself more than her younger brother.

Mike shook his head at Nancy before looking at his father, as if for backup. He really should have known better. "Dad, aren't you the least bit curious?"

"There's nothing to be curious about, Michael." Ted tiredly told his son. Mike scrunched up his face in annoyance at hearing him use his full name. "Your Aunt Maggie told us about this over the phone. Your cousin struggles with night terrors. This was something we were expecting to happen. As you can see, your mother has it under control." He let out a yawn as he walked back to his bedroom. "Now go to bed." That was the last thing he said before he closed the bedroom door behind him.

"Just leave it to mom. She has it handled." Nancy quietly said. She still sounded as unsure and distressed as before. Despite that she found herself walking back inside her bedroom.

Mike looked towards the basement. By now the screaming had stopped and Mike could only assume that his mom managed to calm Gwen down. Even though there was no screaming anymore the unsettled tension lingered in the air. Never had he considered his basement to be eerie until now. It wasn't until he was in bed again that he really thought through everything he had heard. He could have sworn he heard Gwen say something about yellow eyes through her screaming. But really with all the screaming maybe he just misunderstood her. Anyways, why would she say that?

When Mike was able to close his eyes again another thought roamed his head.

What caused Gwen to scream in a panic like that?

Gwen felt like shit.

Absolute shit.

However, she was expecting to feel that way with the awful night she had. Just as she predicted the nightmares came back...and they came back with a fiery vengeance.

If she were a normal girl who hadn't gone through the trauma she had, Gwen would have probably gone on and on about it being a new day and what not. But she wasn't that girl.

Gwen had experienced awful things no girl her age (or anyone her age) should. The only thing she could be glad about was that she was able to get four hours of sleep. And that was only after her Aunt Karen had been able to calm her down from her nightly screaming.

Gwen thought she’d have to come up with some type of excuse to tell her aunt. To her relief her Aunt Karen said her mother had made her aware about her nightmares. So the awkwardness wasn't as bad as Gwen thought it was going to be. Her aunt did offer to stay with her, just until she fell asleep. However, Gwen refused.

Gwen never asked her mom to stay, therefore she wasn't about to ask her aunt. Besides, she wouldn't have been able to offer her real comfort. Not in the way Richie had when he soothed her fright away. There was a reason for that though. Richie had experienced IT too. Her Aunt Karen hadn't. No one in the town of Hawkins had. They weren't even aware that an evil entity like IT existed. The only comfort Gwen had now was herself...and that of course wasn't enough.

Gwen did end up apologizing to her aunt for waking her up. Her Aunt Karen said it was no worries before she went back to her room. As Gwen had watched her aunt walk away, she already knew that wouldn't be the last time she'd apologize to her. Not when it came to her nightmares.

Now before Gwen left the Wheeler residence that day, she heard Mike and his friends go upstairs. She knew they were going to his bedroom for one reason alone. They were going to play Dungeons & Dragons. That meant they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. As she'd come to find out from the last time they were here, there wasn't a time limit to Dungeons & Dragons.Well, there sort of was. Mike's mom still called the shots. But it was still fairly early for the game to come to an end.

Gwen figured now would be a good time to apologize to them. She already apologized to Will but she still needed to make amends with her cousin and his other friends. Dustin and Lucas.

And she had an idea of how exactly she would make things right.

Instead of taking her business to Melvald's General Store, Gwen went to Fair Mart.

There wouldn't be any shoplifting...this time.

Paying for snacks wouldn't be an issue. She had some money saved up that she brought with her from home. Even after spending a portion of that money, she wouldn't be completely broke. She would have the weekly allowance her parents' were going to send her. It wouldn't be a whole lot but enough in case she needed to buy personal items here and there.

Fair Mart ended up being like any liquor store she'd seen. Once inside she did her shopping. Gwen settled for three different bags of chips (the party size), various candies (which included chocolate bars, liquorice, gummies, et cetera), and of course the drinks. Which was just a total of five cokes. Enough for all of them. After paying for all the snacks, Gwen had a good look at the various packs of smokes the store had. Immediately she wanted to grab a pack and bounce. It would have been so easy. The cashier at the moment was reading the newspaper.

It would have been so easy...

But alas, Gwen did not do so. She had been doing well on not shoplifting and she didn't want to ruin her clean streak. At least not for today. She was running low on smokes though. One of these days, Gwen would come back and be discreet.

When Gwen walked out of the store she saw three teens hanging out near a parked car. She didn't think nor care much about their presence. That was until one of them called out to her. Well, she assumed it was for her considering there was no one else outside at the time.

With the two bags that had the snacks she purchased, Gwen turned around to face the three teens. Now that she was looking right at them, Gwen took them in. The girl of the group had light brown auburn hair and it was styled in loose curls. It was the type of hairstyle Gwen's mother would have liked her to have. The boy that was standing the closest to the girl had darker hair and freckles. He also had an annoying smile that made Gwen want to glare at him.

Then there was the last boy. What Gwen noticed about him was his hair. It was a nice warm brown and it looked really fluffy. From just appearances alone, Gwen for sure thought the boy must have really looked after his hair. It sure looked like he put a lot of care into it. A lot more than how much time she put into her own hair.

Once her attention was on them, Gwen waited for them to say something. She grew impatient when the girl and the guy with freckles just seemed to be smiling at her. They weren't nice smiles though. The other boy just stared between her and his friends, as if waiting for something.

This just added to Gwen's impatience. Not only was she growing impatient but she was thoroughly muddled. Gwen didn't know these people. They had no real reason to stop her. She didn't glare or give them a stare down as one would say. Yet as she was about to find out, just because she had been minding her own business didn't mean she was spared from getting bullied.

"Nice jacket." The girl spoke. She laughed through her gum chewing. "Where'd you get it? Goodwill."

Gwen heard the boy with the freckles laugh but the other boy stayed silent. It seemed as if he were mentally taking in his friend's words and keeping his reaction to himself. Gwen thoroughly scrutinized the girl. She was pretty but from that sentence alone, Gwen could tell she wasn't nice. She was a bitch. The smile she had reminded her of Greta's. It was just as mocking. Her smile along with what she just said made Gwen feel anger. The grip on her bags tightened.

Nobody was to insult her green military jacket. Nobody was going to shit on Victor Criss' memory. Especially not this bubblegum chewing bitch. Just as she was about to verbally teach this girl a lesson Tozier style, the boy with the fluffy hair spoke.

"Come on, Carol. Leave her alone." Gwen's gaze somewhat softened as she looked at him. For a moment there, Gwen actually thought he was defending her...and then he continued to run his mouth. "Just because she has shitty taste in clothes doesn't mean you can shit on her too."

Gwen gave the guy a look of disbelief. Did he really just say that? Maybe in his delusional mind he thought he was being nice but to her it sounded like a complete insult. Her opinions on the guy now all led to the very same conclusion.

He was an ass...and she didn't like people who were asses.

"Hey, pretty boy." Gwen said as sweetly as possible. That caught the guy's attention and once he was looking her way she stuck out one of her middle fingers. "Shit on this." The sweet tone of voice she had was now replaced with harshness. Gwen let out a grin when she saw how appalled the guy looked. Even more so then the girl named Carol. They all looked to be frozen in place. Gwen rolled her eyes before she continued walking. Whoever that guy was, besides being an ass, Gwen also thought he was an idiot. Along with his friends.

As Gwen walked away, Tommy H. finally broke the silence between the three of them. He was laughing, and his amusement was aimed towards one person only. "I think she likes you, Harrington."

"Whatever, man." Steve grumbled, still staring at her retreating figure. "That girl's weird."

Gwen stared at Mike's closed bedroom door. She had been facing said bedroom door for close to five minutes now. She couldn't work up the nerve to knock on the damn bedroom door. Dare she say she was...nervous. The Tozier girl could hear laughter and animated chattering from inside. That told her the game was going well...and if she were going to make her presence known she'd rather it be when they weren't in a bad mood because of the game.

With a heavy sigh, and with one of the bags in her hands, Gwen carefully knocked on the bedroom door. Mike's reply was instant, and he sounded rushed, along with somewhat annoyed.

"Mom, we're busy right now."

"Uh...it's not your mom." Gwen sheepishly called out. "It's me...Gwen." There was then complete silence from inside the bedroom. No laughter or chatter from before could be heard. Gwen pushed away her nerves.

"Can I come in?" She asked, as politely as possible. "I brought snacks."

She thought the awkward silence was going to linger but much to her relief there was a response.

"I guess."

Gwen right away was able to pick on the chary tone of voice her cousin had. Once again she couldn't blame him for sounding that way. Hopefully the heedful way he viewed her would change, as well as Lucas and Dustin's. She opened the room door and stepped inside Mike's bedroom. The Tozier girl made sure to close the door behind her before she faced forward.

Mike and his friends were sitting around a small table. Gwen saw the Dungeons & Dragons game set up that had their undivided attention. Well, until she came in. The four boys were now staring at her, puzzled and cautious. Except for Will. He didn't look at her with any trepidation or puzzlement. He instead offered her a friendly smile, as if he was happy to see her. It was that friendly smile that made Gwen's remaining nerves vanish.

At least he wasn't bothered to see her.

Gwen made sure to give him a nod before she spoke.

"So...I brought snacks." Gwen repeated herself, lifting the two bags she brought. "I also brought sodas...but I left them in the fridge downstairs." She added that last part rather rapidly. She thought she would have to repeat herself again but it seemed the boys were more interested with the bags she carried. Even with the wary looks they still had. The boy who was wearing the baseball cap looked especially interested with what she brought. He was the one who ended up speaking first in the group of friends.

"Is there chocolate?"

Gwen heard his lisp and saw that he was missing the front of his teeth. She had never met anyone his age who didn't have their front teeth. She had a feeling the kid probably got picked on because of that. Kids could be giant jerks when they wanted and picked on those who were different in the slightest way. She, however, was never one for that. Gwen thought he actually looked adorable without his front teeth. The look suited him. Especially with the brown curls he had. They were more wild than Stan's own curls.

Realizing that her mind was wandering toward her emotions for a certain bird lover, Gwen mentally shook her head. She focused more on responding to the boy's question.

"Actually there is." Gwen reached into the bag. "Three Musketeers Bar." She said as she playfully twirled the candy bar in her hand.

The boy's response was instant. "Okay."

"Dustin." Mike exclaimed as if he had been betrayed. Which to him sure felt like it. Gwen was confused by this. After all, he had told her to come in. Well, his exact words were 'I guess'...but still, why sound as if accepting the snacks she brought were a bad thing?

"What?" Dustin shrugged his shoulders. "I like chocolate and I'm not passing up on a free Three Musketeers Bar."

"What else do you have in there?" The other boy sitting between Mike and Will asked. He had dark skin and dark brown hair. Despite sounding curious, Gwen was able to tell he was keeping his guard up.

Since Mike had called out Dustin as the name for the boy with the lisp, Gwen right away knew the remaining boy was Lucas. Gwen walked closer to the table and then passed him both of the bags. "Have a look."

Lucas looked between two bags and her...as if contemplating reaching out. It didn't take long before he finally accepted both of the bags. Gwen could practically see the wall of uncertainty he had built begin to crumble, much to her delight. Lucas looked through one of the bags and had passed the other to Will. It was Will who found the Three Musketeers Bar and then passed it to Dustin.

While this was happening, Mike remained quiet. He looked at his friends before looking at Gwen. From the stare he was giving her it was as if he were trying to figure her out. Maybe he thought she was about to lash out...like last time. Well, she wasn't. Gwen looked around the room, hoping to find a chair or something she could sit on. When she couldn't, she decided to sit on the floor. The table they were sitting around was small and pretty low. Sitting on the floor wouldn't make that much of her difference thanks to her height.

She took a seat closer to Dustin. The boy right away saw this and began giving her looks of confusion, especially Mike. Gwen cleared her throat.

"I actually came here for a reason..." She began saying. From the corner of her eye she saw Will get a look of realization. "Other than giving you guys snacks. I want to apologize for how I was last time." Her voice was now taking a softer, genuine, approach. "I am sorry for what I said. It's just I saw you guys with my photo..." There was a slight waver in her voice before she was able to compose herself. "And I lost it. I really shouldn't have. I've already apologized to Will but I wanted to apologize to you guys as well." She looked at all of them, her gaze lingering on her cousin. "I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

Dustin took a bite out of the chocolate bar. He swallowed the piece he had before releasing a grin. "I forgive you."

"Yeah, me too." Lucas told her. By now he was already snacking on a bag of Doritos. A bag he was sharing with Will. Mike had declined the snack when the bag was passed his way. That made Gwen's stomach drop a little when she saw how Mike wasn't eating any of the snacks she had brought.

"Mike?" Gwen called out.

He blinked once...twice...and then spoke. "Yeah...I accept your apology." Mike muttered. He then let out a sigh. "I'm...I'm sorry too. We shouldn't have gone through your things."

The apology on his end sounded forced. Not necessarily genuine but Gwen wasn't about to ask him to repeat himself. The fact that he even said sorry at all was enough for her. She nodded her head.

"It's okay. You guys are just curious, right? I'm new and a relative of Mike's. So...to make things easier, how about you guys get to know me." She told the boys with a small smile. She tried to look as friendly as possible. "Ask me anything about me and I'll answer."

Mike raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

"Yup, anything."

"What's with all your pills?" Mike suddenly asked. His friends looked at him as if he grew a second head. Mike just shrugged off their stares. "What? Like you're not all wondering." He wanted to know if they had anything to do with her night terrors. Although if she were taking medication for her night terrors they weren't doing such a good job. Not according to what he and his family heard last night. Mike was still surprised how Holly did wake up crying because of Gwen's screams.

Gwen remained cool. Perhaps she shouldn't have said anything but what's done is done. "I have ADHD." She admitted, even toned. She wasn't about to lie to them, and it wasn't as if she was ashamed of her ADHD. At least Mike hadn't asked her about her nightmares. If he had she would have lied. It wasn't as if she could tell him and his friends about IT. They wouldn't have believed her and they would surely think she was crazy.

"I've heard of that." Dustin eagerly jumped in.

"Wasn't there a kid in our third grade class that had ADHD?" Lucas asked, getting more into the conversation.

This time it was Will who spoke. He nodded his head. "Yeah. Harold Barnes."

"Whatever happened to him?"

"He moved."

Gwen felt relief that the boys were already having a conversion. They were somewhat informed on what ADHD was.

"And what about the other one?" Mike continued his questioning. "Unless they're both for your ADHD."

Just when she thought she was getting an easy pass. "The other ones are my happy pills." Gwen smiled tightly, forced. She didn't right away say it was for her depression. Not because she was ashamed but because she felt weird for even saying the word depression to them. Gwen had said it to the Losers but that was different. She had a bond with the Losers that allowed her to open up to them. She was just starting to get to know Mike and the others.

Mike furrowed his eyebrows. "Happy pills?" He didn't seem to get what she was trying to imply.

"I get sad." Gwen said, almost sounding bored.

"Everybody gets sad. I mean, it's normal for people to get sad." Mike didn't mean to sound rude. He was just puzzled. Up to this point he had never met anyone that needed pills because they were sad. At least he hadn't met anyone who admitted to needing pills for their sadness. This was new territory for him.

"Mike." Will whispered to him. It was clear he was telling him to drop it.

"I just need them, okay?" Gwen didn't think she needed to defend herself for needing medication for her depression. She had to remind herself that Mike was just a kid. Kids didn't always understand just how difficult it was dealing with their emotions. She had been lucky when it came to Richie and the other Losers. They had been understanding from the start.

Mike looked at his cousin, somewhat sheepish. He decided to end his questioning...for now. "Alright."

"So who else have you met?" Will asked, moving the conversation along.

Gwen made a thoughtful face. "Uh...Nancy introduced me to her friend Barb. You guys. Will's mom, Joyce." She answered, purposely not mentioning that she met the Chief of police, Hopper...for obvious reasons. She didn't want to take the chance on Mike telling his parents. She then snapped her fingers, adding the last part. "And some asshole kids around my age. Maybe a year older. That was today though."

"Assshole kids? Who?" Will asked her, thinking it might've of been Troy. He often picked on him and his friends at school. From what she described it wasn't Troy who Gwen was talking about. He wondered who it was then.

Gwen shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I didn't ask for their names."

"What did they look like?" Lucas asked this time.

"Well, it was two guys and a girl. The girl had brown auburn hair and one of the guys had darker hair and freckles. And the other one..." She trailed, thoughtful. "Brown eyes and chocolate brown hair, which looked fluffy."

"Fluffy hair?" Dustin repeated. He made eye contact with all his friends, and they all had knowing looks.

"You met Steve Harrington." Lucas grumbled.

Gwen scoffed. "That's his name?" She said his name in her head and she rolled her eyes at how pretentious it sounded.

"Yeah, and somebody's older sister is dating him." Lucas elbowed Mike as he started making kissing noises.

Mike rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He said, pushing Lucas' elbow away.

"Wait, that's Nancy's boyfriend?" Gwen was shocked. She didn't even know her cousin had a boyfriend. Then again, why would Nancy tell her if she did? That really wasn't any of her business. But to know she had flipped off the boy her cousin was seeing made her want to laugh and shake her head for her behavior towards him.

"I think she's starting to get to know him but I bet they've exchanged spit already." Dustin blurted out. The rest of the boys groaned in disgust. Even Gwen's expression matched theirs.

"Dude!" Mike exclaimed.

Dustin shrugged his shoulders. "What? It's probably true."

"I don't wanna talk about this." Mike huffed out. Talking about his older sister's romantic life was just wrong. Not to mention gross. "Anyways, can we get back to the game now?"

Gwen looked at the board game and then at the four of them. "You guys can play Dungeons & Dragons in the basement. I don't mind. It was your guys' official hangout spot before I took over."

The boys were once again quiet, staring at one another.

"We don't want to disturb you in your girly environment." Dustin said without really thinking.

Gwen gave him a narrowed look. "Do I look like the type of girl that cares about any of that shit?"

"No, not at all." Dustin immediately replied. He sounded scared but also somewhat impressed. "In fact, you look like the type of girl who wouldn't care if they broke a nail."

"I wouldn't care if I broke a damn finger." Gwen said and then whispered. "I've had far worse happen." She saw the curious look the boys had and quickly moved the conversation along. "Anyways, I don't mind if you guys play in there, really."

Dustin, Lucas, and Will seemed happy. Mike kept staring at Gwen, unconvinced.

"Even if the game takes hours." Mike said as if giving her a challenge.

Gwen knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to get her to change her mind but that wasn't about to happen. She nodded her head.

"Even if the game takes hours and you have to do an all nighter." Gwen knew that wasn't going to happen but she just said it to make things more lighthearted.

"That won't happen." Lucas replied, somewhat disappointed. "Mike's mom always stops us from doing that."

"Time limit isn't an issue is what I am trying to say." Gwen said to all of them.

Mike could see that his friends wanted to accept her request but they were waiting for what he had to say. The Wheeler boy knew that saying no would just upset his friends. So he relented. "Fine, but you don't get to play."

"Mike..." Will started saying.

"No, it's fine." Gwen reassured them. She tried playing it off as if that hadn't bothered her. "I wouldn't want to interrupt the system you guys have going on. Besides, I wouldn't know how to play anyways."

"You can watch." Will suggested. "See how we do things."

Dustin nodded his head. "Yeah, totally."

"That probably would be the fastest way to learn." Lucas added, seemingly on board with Gwen being near them.

Mike, however, wasn't. "Fine you can observe but don't ask a bunch of questions. We don't need interruptions."

"Mum's the word." Gwen commented with a smile. She then pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key.

Mike just hoped that she kept her word.

Gwen though had a habit of talking, and that was something Mike was going to learn.

Chapter Text

She didn't understand how other people did it, how they just strolled right up to strangers and started conversations - how they made themselves into people strangers would ever want to meet. She wasn't shy, not exactly. She was afraid." ― Katie Cotugno, Top Ten

The last few days had been rather good for Gwen. Excluding her nightmares. Those still occurred. Thankfully her aunt and uncle didn't make such a big deal out of the nightly screams. Surprisingly neither did her cousins. Except Gwen did notice the lingering looks they would give her when she came up for breakfast. Mike out of all Wheeler family members stared at her the longest. His stare was one of curiosity and dare she say...concern? She couldn't fully tell because although he looked exactly like Richie, Gwen wasn't able to read him as easily. Besides, it wasn't like Mike ever actually asked how she was feeling after being awoken by her screaming.

The Tozier girl figured he was either minding his own business, or he simply didn't care enough to ask. She liked to think it was because of the first option. During the last few days, Gwen had spent a lot of time with Mike. Well, not only with Mike, but with him and his friends. Though that only happened when they played Dungeons & Dragons. The group of friends were now playing the game in the basement again. Just as Gwen told them she wouldn't mind them playing in there.

The fifteen year old knew that Mike was not a huge fan of hers. He made that very clear the first two days when she stuck around to watch them play Dungeons & Dragons. His dislike towards her didn't surprise her. Gwen could even say that she knew Mike didn't like her from the moment they met.

Even after apologizing for her outburst, his aversion towards her didn't change. Not really. Which was fine. Gwen was able to handle not being liked. A lot of people didn't like her back in Derry. Of course none of those people were family members. So of course it stung to have someone from her family not like her. She was human after all. However, Gwen wasn't going to let that get to her. She also wasn't going to make Mike like her. If his feelings changed towards how he felt about her it would be from his own free will.

It did make Gwen feel somewhat better that Mike no longer glared at her whenever she asked questions about Dungeons & Dragons when she didn't understand something. In the beginning she had trouble understanding things. So questions were asked constantly. Although the boys didn't have a problem with her inquisitive nature. Well minus Mike since Gwen was able to pick up on the fact that her younger cousin didn't like how much of a chatter box she was. At first the Tozier girl was going to keep her mouth shut. She did after all tell him, "Mum's the word."

Then Gwen at the last second thought about it, like really thought about it and decided...screw that. And away with talking she went.

True her rambling wasn't helping with how Mike viewed her but she wasn't going to change her personality to fit his. Sure sometimes with people that was needed but that wasn't what needed to happen between them. Now perhaps it was because his friends were growing fond of her the more time she spent with them, or maybe Mike got used to her consistent talking, but he no longer gave her the death stare when she spoke during Dungeons & Dragons.

That was an improvement. Also, her being allowed to sit next to Mike without him complaining while he and the others played was another good sign. Now if only she got to play then she would have known for sure that she was on her cousin's good side. However, Gwen wasn't about to ask. If that ever were to happen she knew Mike had to be the one to ask.

Now aside from hanging with the boys, Gwen spent time either by herself listening to music, and writing in her song notebook. She also did some town exploring. Well, if you can even call it that. By town exploring Gwen meant she usually went to the local town stores.

Gwen was usually greeted by Joyce, Will's mother, when she went into Melvald's General Store. Unfortunately, going there also meant having a high chance of running into Hopper. Not all the times, but weirdly enough the Chief of Police was always there whenever she was close to taking something. That didn't really bother Gwen, though. As it turned out, she no longer participated in shoplifting...in that store, anyways.

No, Gwen now did her shoplifting at Fair Mart whenever she could. It wasn't like she took a lot of things. Just a couple of candy bars...and a packet of cigarettes whenever she could. She needed her cigarettes. At first she wasn't sure that was a good place to do all that. She did after all encounter Steve (as she remembered his name) and his friends there. However, ever since that first encounter Gwen hadn't seen them. Thankfully. Hawkins was a small town though, and she knew she'd eventually see them again. Besides, according to what Mike and his friends told her, Steve was dating Nancy. So not running into him was impossible.

Speaking of Nancy...

Gwen even tried hanging out with her dear cousin. Tried being the operative word. Gwen tried being as friendly and open as Nancy was with her cheerfulness. Except that was a challenge considering Gwen wasn't the cheerful type. Not anymore. Then there was the sad truth that the cousins didn't have much in common. At least they were civil with one another. Their relationship was better than the one Gwen had with her cousin Mike.

Now the last time Gwen had hung out with Nancy, her Aunt Karen had been there with them. Her Aunt Karen had taken her and Nancy out for shopping. At the beginning Gwen was dreading going shopping. Past experiences with her mother were the reason for that. Whenever she had gone shopping with her mother, she always made Gwen feel insecure. The Tozier girl knew that her mother wasn't doing that on purpose, but she had a way (call it a skill) with making Gwen view herself in a negative way because of what she liked.

Surprisingly, going shopping with her aunt and cousin wasn't that bad. Her aunt hadn't been as openly judgmental as her mother, nor did she make faces with the clothing Gwen picked out for herself. It was obvious that her Aunt Karen didn't agree with her style but she didn't openly insult her choices the way her mother would have.

Nancy even complimented Gwen on a few of the clothing items she picked. Gwen's insecurities were trying to win over at the beginning, but before they could she was able to convince herself that both her aunt and cousin were being genuine with her. Her Aunt Karen, who although let her pick what she wanted, did show her a dress that she thought would look good on Gwen.

The dress was simple. It was grey and it went past the knees. It was also long sleeved. Gwen didn't see the dress as being too girly, even despite it being a dress. She supposed a better way to explain it would be that the dress was not at all like the one she wore on the last day of her Freshman year. The dress her aunt picked out was way more simple, casual. Her aunt ended up buying the dress for her, and Gwen, although not being a dress person, found herself liking the dress. She mainly liked how the dress covered her up.

So, yeah...the last few days (for the most part) had been good. However, that sense of peace was coming to an end.

Gwen knew that the whole relaxing at her aunt's and uncle's house (which basically meant hiding from the outside world) would have to come to an end. She'd have to start high school in Hawkins eventually. Later would have been preferable but that really wasn't an option. She couldn't hide forever. No matter how much she wanted to.

Now here she was dressed and ready to attend her first day at Hawkins High.

Gwen at first was just going to wear what she usually wore. A band t-shirt, jeans, her dark green military jacket, and Converse. Except the evening before during dinner, her Aunt Karen had gone on and on and how lovely she would have looked if she wore the dress she bought her. Gwen and Nancy seemed to be the only ones listening to her. Her Uncle Ted had been more focused on the meatloaf that was on his plate, Mike had been obviously tuning all of them out, and Holly...well, Holly just played with her food as any toddler would.

Due to how excited her aunt sounded, Gwen decided to wear the dress she had bought for her. If it had been her mother, Gwen would have decided to wear the dress too. The only difference being that if it had been her mother, Gwen would have worn the dress as a way to stop her passive aggressiveness towards her. Except that wasn't the reason why she decided on wearing the dress her aunt got her. Gwen decided to wear the dress because she knew how much it would have made her aunt happy and because...Gwen didn't actually mind the dress.

It was long enough to cover her, and it wasn't red. That to Gwen made the dress go on her list of, I don't mind wearing this every now and then. And although she was wearing a dress to school, Gwen still managed to pull it off as casual. For shoe wear she had on a pair of old black Converse, and over the dress she wore her dark green military jacket. She didn't care that her jacket and shoes didn't go with the dress. Gwen wasn't about to wear flats for shoe wear, and there was no way Gwen wasn't going to wear the jacket that reminded her of Victor Criss.

Gwen felt the jacket gave her extra confidence...and since she was starting school again, Gwen was going to need that extra confidence today.

When she went upstairs and walked into the kitchen (backpack in hand), Gwen immediately frowned when she saw the look Mike was giving her. He was sitting next to Nancy at the kitchen table. Her Uncle Ted was there but his eyes were on the newspaper he was reading. Gwen noticed that her Aunt Karen wasn't in there and she assumed she was with baby Holly.

Mike snickered. "Nice dress."

Gwen's reply was instant and she said it without hesitating in the slightest. "Nice face." She really should have thought of a better comeback. Really the dis wasn't a good one. Not to mention in a way dissing Mike was like dissing her brother Richie. However, Gwen at the moment thought it had been a good enough comeback for Mike.

Mike's face fell and from beside him Nancy let out a low giggle. Her Uncle Ted just turned the next page of the newspaper he was reading, totally oblivious. Gwen took a seat across from her cousins. She saw how Mike was trying to compose himself, ready to say something to her. Before he could say anything else to her though, her Aunt Karen walked in with Holly in her arms.

"Oh, Gwen, you look so pretty." Her aunt told her as she set Holly in her seat that was next to Gwen. Holly let out a toothy smile when she saw Gwen, and Gwen being the awkward person that she was just let out a low cough. She still had to get used to Holly's excitement towards her.

Remembering that her aunt had paid her a compliment, Gwen managed to give her a small smile. "Thank you."

"You really do, Gwen." Nancy brightly said to her.

Gwen took a better look at her cousin, and immediately wanted to tell her that she was wrong. That she didn't look pretty...not when comparing the two of them. Nancy was a bit more dressed up than Gwen. Her hair was slightly curled. Gwen didn't even style her own hair, it was just in its natural state of waviness. She wasn't even wearing makeup. Nancy had on makeup but not a lot like most girls their age would wear. She had the right amount on.

For her outfit, Nancy was wearing a pretty pink blouse with a white cardigan over it. Although she was sitting down, Gwen had no doubt that Nancy was wearing a long skirt and some fancy type of shoes. Really Nancy's outfit didn't surprise Gwen. That was just the type of girl Nancy was...the type that liked to dress up. The type that had the right womanly look to show off. Which wasn't a bad thing. It just made Gwen remember again how she'd never be as pretty as her. She wasn't built the same way in both personality and looks.

Nancy was like a delicate dandelion, while she was like a plain cactus. Nobody ever thought cactuses were pretty. She sure didn't.

Gwen pulled on her jacket, hoping that would make her feel better. It did, but just a little. She ended up nodding her head at Nancy, unable to find her voice. They all then ate their breakfast. Her Aunt Karen had prepared pancakes along with eggs and bacon. The usual morning routine then set in and pretty soon Nancy's irritated voice rang out. All those who were there knew exactly why that was.

"Ew! Mike!"

Mike, much to his older sister's annoyance, put syrup on her eggs. The Wheeler boy knew that his older sister disliked her food being messed with. He also knew that she wasn't a huge fan of syrup in general. One look from his mother got him to put down the bottle of syrup but not before he did the exact same thing to Gwen's eggs. He was expecting (or rather hoping) that Gwen's reaction would be like Nancy's. He was greatly surprised (and disappointed) by what happened next.

Gwen didn't look upset that he had put syrup on her eggs. She instead made direct eye contact with him as she used her fork to stab at her eggs. She then lifted the fork to her mouth and ate the syrup covered eggs, not at all bothered. As she chewed her food, her mouth formed into a grin, letting him know he hadn't annoyed her like he did with Nancy. This was a sign to Mike. It was going to take a lot more than him ruining her food to irritate her. Not that she considered having her eggs covered with syrup as being ruined.

Mike let out a huff as he leaned more against his chair.

After he and the two older teens finished they got up, ready to leave. They didn't get far because Karen Wheeler called out for them. The three of them stopped walking to stare back at the older woman. She was handing Holly her refilled bottle of juice as she walked over towards them.

"Wait! Before you guys leave, let me take a photo with all three of you." Karen said as she was now opening a cabinet. It didn't take long for Gwen to see that she was holding a Polaroid camera.

Gwen let out a sigh. She kept her annoyance to herself...unlike someone else.

"Mom." Mike whined making a face. He knew where his mother was going with this. She often did this when something she considered to be important happened. He really didn't think Gwen's first day at the high school here was important. His mother didn't have to make such a big deal about it.

"Is that really necessary?" Nancy asked, trying her best to not sound as annoyed as her brother. She was eager to go to school already. She planned to meet up with Steve but only after helping Gwen with getting her schedule and showing her locker. The sooner they left the better.

Gwen continued to keep quiet, inwardly hoping her aunt would change her mind...alas she didn't.

Karen frowned, aimed more at her children than at her niece. "Yes. This is Gwen's first day of school here in Hawkins and I want to take a photo with all three of you. The happy cousins."

Happy? Gwen looked at Mike who was on her left. He appeared to be far from happy. Her cousin made contact with her before he looked away with an eye-roll. She almost let out a scoff right then and there.

"Besides, I want to send this to Maggie." Karen continued saying. "Show her just how fine things are."

That made Gwen's ears perk up. The photo being sent to her mother was actually a good thing. If her mother got the photo she knew for sure she'd share it with her father and brother. Despite not being in a photo mode, the photo would convince Richie that she was right when saying how much he looked like Mike. The photo would be proof. Gwen nodded her head.

"Okay." Her response made her Aunt Karen smile wider. Nancy did as requested and posed for the photo. Mike let out a sigh, reluctantly ended up doing the same thing knowing fighting his mother would be not smart.

"Closer, get closer." Karen gestured to her kids.

"Fine." Mike muttered as he got closer to Gwen. Nancy did the same but she wasn't unhappy about it as Mike.

Gwen ended up being in the middle with her cousins next to her. Karen smiled as she lifted the Polaroid camera.

"Say cheese!"

The three cousins said the words but none of them really meant it. Nancy's smile out of all of them was the most genuine. Mike smiled but one could see it was forced. Gwen tried smiling as nice as Nancy but she had a feeling her smile came out more like a grimace.

When Karen lowered the Polaroid camera, Mike stepped away from Gwen. "Now can we go to school?"

Karen gave her son a pout as she lifted the Polaroid camera again. "Just one more, okay?"

Mike sighed and went back to his original spot. Much to his annoyance his mother ended up taking five more photos.

It didn't shock Gwen, nor did it upset her, that Mike left her and Nancy's side once they exited the house. But seeing Mike ride his bike did make her feel sad. It made the Tozier girl think of Richie and the others. It didn't help when Nancy told her (as they walked to school) that Mike rode his bike to school alongside his friends. That just made Gwen remember how she would ride her bike around the town of Derry with the Losers.

God, she missed them. Some more than others, but the point was that she missed them all. 

The Tozier girl did her best to hide her sudden sadness at the memory of her dear friends as she and Nancy walked to school. Half way there Nancy's friend Barb caught up with them. With Barb's arrival Gwen was able to fully push away her sadness. She did her best to make conversation with the redhead. That really wasn't much of a challenge since Barb and her got along just fine. She was still more Nancy's friends than hers, so the awkwardness lingered.

Walking to school didn't take as long as Gwen thought it would. She realized the high school wasn't as far as the one in Derry was to her house. The high school was also located near the middle school where Mike and his friends attended. So the layout was similar to the high school and middle school in Derry as well. From the outside the high school seemed average size for being in a small town. Maybe just a tad bit smaller than the one in Derry.

Once arriving at the high school, getting Gwen's schedule and the locker combination didn't take as long as Nancy thought it would.

"So, it looks like you have Chemistry first period with Kaminsky." Nancy told her cousin as all three of them were looking over Gwen's schedule. "I have him too but in third period. Barb has him first period with you, so that's good."

Barb threw Gwen a smile. "Guess we're Chem buddies."

Gwen felt her lips twitch, forming an almost smile. Nancy continued announcing her schedule.

"Then you have English." Nancy's eyes gleamed. "Oh, you have Mrs. Davis. She's nice. After English we all get our ten minute break." Her head tilted with what she said next. "Looks like you have P.E. after so you're going to get your P.E. uniform there. Guess it's a good thing you decided on wearing your Converse. Then after P.E. you have―"

"I think I got it from here." Gwen interrupted her cousin as politely as possible. She took hold of her schedule. The Tozier girl didn't do this as a way to get Nancy to shut up in a rude way. But what was the point of having Nancy read out what she was able to read herself.

Nancy deflated a little before she was able to get a hold of her cheerful-self again. "Okay."

Gwen pointed further into the school hall. "I'll just go look for my locker before my first class starts. Room two hundred and thirty-seven, right?" She asked Barb. The bespectacled redhead nodded her head.

"I can help you find your locker." Nancy offered her help again. Although she offered there was a sense of impatience there in her tone of voice. She still had yet to meet up with Steve.

Not many people would have been able to pick up on that impatience...but Gwen did. She could tell her cousin wanted to be elsewhere.

Gwen waved her off. "Don't worry about it. I can find it myself."

"Are you sure?" Nancy asked one last time.

Gwen threw her cousin a reassured look before she walked off. Despite being happy that she was able to meet up with Steve, Nancy couldn't help but feel a bit awful. Once Gwen was too far away from being able to hear her, Nancy turned to look at Barb. "Do you think I annoy her?"

Barb frowned. "What? Why would you think that?"

"It just seems like I do." Nancy answered, shrugging.

"You're just being yourself Nance, and so is she." Barb told her best friend. "You two are just different, that's all."

"Yeah." Nancy quietly answered. She once again looked towards the direction her cousin had gone. "We are so different."

It took longer than expected, but Gwen was able to find her locker. Unfortunately she wasn't able to open it since she had found it the exact moment the morning bell rang. Thankfully she made it to her first class without any hiccups. She was actually the fifth person to arrive at the class. Not long after she arrived Barb made her entrance.

Now as she had come to find out the class didn't have assigned seating, nor did it have assigned partners. Despite that, Gwen knew the moment she spoke with her Chemistry teacher that the class was going to be anything but laid back. As Kaminsky was lecturing, Barb had been kind enough to let her borrow some of her class notes, saying she was going to need them for upcoming quizzes and tests.

That made Gwen want to pull at her hair. Yet another thing she would need to stress over.

It seemed so far that Chemistry was going to be her hardest class. English turned out to be a breeze. Not that she was actually expecting to have a hard time there. English had always been one of the subjects she did well in. The class did have assigned seating, and she got assigned to sit in the back. The teacher, Mrs. Davis, also made her introduce herself in front of the class, unlike Kaminsky...so that sucked balls.

During the ten minute break, Gwen went into the bathroom and remained there until the bell rang. She felt like such a...well, loser. Only this time the term was used in a negative way rather than how she used it when with Richie and the others. Being in a class filled with students was one thing, but after class? She just didn't feel comfortable enough yet to be around the other students at Hawkins. Despite having a more extroverted personality, Gwen, given what she'd been through, wasn't as social as before.

Really the only good thing that came out of that ten minute break was that Gwen was able to smoke peacefully while she hid inside the bathroom stall. If someone had smelt the cigarette smoke they sure didn't complain or report her. Now if only she had a drink, then that would have made things tens times better.

As she hid inside the bathroom stall making smoke circles, the thought of looking for Nancy crossed her mind. However, she decided not to search for her cousin. The dark haired girl figured she was with her other friends. She must have had other friends besides Barb. Nancy was pretty and nice. That alone would attract other people towards her. Gwen also didn't end up looking for Nancy because there was a huge possibility she could have been with Steve, and Gwen really didn't want to run into him.

She was still upset from the last encounter they had.

What an ass. Honestly, it still baffled her how Nancy was with someone like him. Just with that one encounter, Gwen knew how much of an idiot he was. Her cousin could do way better.

P.E. was Gwen's next class.

One she wasn't really looking forward to. Not so much because of the exercising that was going to be done, but more with the fact that she'd have to change...in the locker room. Not only was she self-conscious because of the damn bite mark IT left on her right shoulder, but her wariness with changing in locker rooms still remained. Of course that was because of Patrick Hockstetter. Even though he was gone, the memory of what he did, spying on her while she changed in the locker room, still gave Gwen the chills.

As she stood in that locker room facing her locker with her gym clothes in hand, in her head she could clearly hear his low laugh. The same low laugh that alerted her someone was in the locker room with her. She had to close her eyes and take deep breaths in order to calm herself. Not real, not real, not real. After repeating that phrase a few more times, Gwen was able to open her eyes, less freaked out.

Before she could change her mind, Gwen opened her locker. She set her gym clothes in there and then took off her jacket. As she did this something from the side caught her attention. Standing a few lockers away from her was a girl around her age. She had dirty blonde shoulder length hair, and even with the slight distance between them, Gwen could see her freckles.

Gwen was surprised that she was able to make eye contact with her considering she was about to change. From what she saw the girl was already dressed in her gym clothes...but there she was staring at her. Gwen didn't find that odd. The girl must have seen her close her eyes and was probably wondering if she was okay.

Trying to be friendly, and also reassure her she was okay, Gwen waved at her.

The girl's eyes slightly widened, as if finally realizing her mistake of staring, and was embarrassed. Her cheeks warmed up, not that the Tozier girl noticed that detail. Gwen didn't think anything wrong with her staring. The girl quickly looked away before shutting her locker and walking off.

Gwen sighed at the girl's reaction, more upset at herself.

Way to go, Gwen. Scaring off people with your weirdness.

The Tozier girl proceeded to change.

P.E. class went by faster than Gwen expected. Not that she was complaining. Although she had trouble changing into her gym clothes, changing back to her regular clothes wasn't as troubling. Though the insecurity was definitely there. When Gwen finished changing she noticed how the girl from before was practically racing to get herself dressed. Once again, Gwen couldn't complain.

She knew that feeling fairly well.

Once leaving the locker room, Gwen went to her next class. Which was Study Hall.

When Gwen attended high school in Derry she didn't have Study Hall. Francine did, and she had told her it was basically a free period. It was supposed to be a class for students to catch up on any work they had and to use the time to study. However, that rarely was ever done.

And as Gwen learned for herself, that her blonde haired friend had been right.

Study Hall was a free period.

From the moment Gwen walked in she knew it was going to be her most laid back class. The teacher (who Gwen honestly could not remember his name) remained up front reading a book. He was in his own world, and really Gwen couldn't blame him. What exactly could he do? Besides helping those who didn't understand something...not that anyone was actually raising their hands for help.

Most students were either sleeping, reading, talking with one another, or writing notes.

Gwen had been writing in her song notebook when she got the weird feeling she was being stared at. She lifted up her gaze and she was right away met with someone she had seen before.

Carol.

The damn girl she had bumped into with Steve and that other guy outside Fair Mart.

She was sitting a few seats up further than her but that didn't lessen the glare she was giving her. At first Gwen was going to back down but the dark haired girl quickly closed her song notebook and returned the glare. Carol's own glare wavered a bit but soon enough it steadied.

Gwen had to give her props for that. She didn't back down though and she intensified her glare even more. This time Carol did end up backing down but not before she sent Gwen a scowl. Gwen had to hold in the laugh she wanted to release when Carol turned around in her seat.

"What'd you do?"

Gwen was taken by surprise by the new voice. She was even more surprised when she saw who had spoken. It was the same girl from the locker room, the one that had been staring at her. Gwen was puzzled that she hadn't noticed she was in the class with her. Then again she had kept to herself and she had been having a glaring contest with Carol...a contest she won.

Now that the girl was a lot closer Gwen not only got a better view of her freckles, but also that she had pretty blue eyes. The girl also sounded and appeared less timid than the last time she saw her. She supposed locker rooms could do that to a person. Gwen herself disliked locker rooms...for an obvious reason. One that had to do with Patrick Hockstetter.

The girl's question finally clicked but Gwen's response was short.

"Huh?"

"What'd you do to get Carol to look at you that way?" The girl looked at her and then at Carol's backside. "She has resting bitch face twenty-four seven but she really seems bitchy today. And that bitchiness seems to be aimed at you." The girl's eyes gleamed with curiosity as she stared at Gwen. "So, I ask...what'd you do?"

She could have just lied to the girl, or told her it wasn't any of her business. Which it wasn't...but actually going through with that didn't feel right with Gwen. She was actually going to tell this girl (a girl that Gwen didn't know her name) the real reason why, and she found nothing wrong with that.

"I flipped her and a couple of her friends off." Gwen simply told her.

The girl's lips formed an amused grin. "Sweet."

"Yeah?" Gwen said relieved that the girl hadn't actually reacted negatively to her honesty.

The girl shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, it's Carol. I bet those friends of hers you saw her with were her boyfriend Tommy, and Steve Harrington." She rolled her eyes. "Or as people like to call him, Steve "The Hair" Harrington."

"Steve "The Hair" Harrington?" Gwen scoffed. "Seriously?"

The girl nodded her head. "Dead serious."

"That's stupid." Gwen commented, this time chuckling.

The girl reacted the same way after hearing her chuckle. "Tell me about it." Once she quieted down she stuck out one of her hands. "Robin Buckley."

Gwen shook her hand, happy to know her name. "Gwen Tozier." The dark haired girl smiled. "Nice to meet you, Robin." When she lowered her hand she tilted her head a bit. "I saw you in the locker room. We have P.E. together."

Robin cleared her throat. A part of her knew that would be brought up when she got the courage to talk to her, but another part of her hoped it wouldn't. Guess she'd have to go with what she practiced in her head. "Yeah...sorry about that. I just...I saw you and it looked like you were having a moment or something."

Gwen grimaced. "Yeah, I was. Locker rooms...they're just not my thing...you know?"

Robin right away nodded her head. Oh...she knew. "Yeah, I get you. Believe me." She got quiet but when she felt her ears warm up she spoke up again. "So...you're new." Way to state the obvious, she inwardly chastised herself.

Gwen nodded her head. "I am."

"How are you liking Hawkins?"

Gwen looked into her blue eyes and then down at her palms, one got more attention than the other. To Robin it seemed like Gwen was once again having a moment to herself, and she was. The only difference was it wasn't exactly like the one she had in the locker room. This time her thoughts were more bittersweet. Her thoughts were of a group of friends, friends she loved and missed.

"Gwen?" Robin called out when the dark haired girl continued to stay silent. She felt her heart race a bit when Gwen stared at her again. Those dark brown eyes were quite nice to look at.

"Can I get back to you on that?" Gwen softly asked her.

Robin nodded her head. "Sure."

Gwen gave her a small smile that had Robin returning one back. The Buckley girl thought right then and there that the Tozier girl was going to be a real interesting person to know.

As they figured out during their remaining time in Study Hall, Gwen only had that class and P.E. with Robin. That sucked but at least they had two classes together. It was weird but Gwen felt an instant connection with Robin. It wasn't like the connection Gwen had with the Losers but it was a connection that made Gwen want to be her friend almost instantly.

She had asked Robin if she wanted to eat lunch together but the blue eyed girl said she had a band meeting. As it turned out she was in the school band, which Gwen thought was cool. If her brother Richie had been there he for sure would have asked Robin nonstop questions about what it was like being in the school band. Her brother loved music but he had no musical talent. That certainly didn't stop him from living vicariously through the various students he liked annoying until they let him use their band instruments.

However, Gwen didn't want to bother Robin, so she told her she'd see her later. They both parted ways after Study Hall, with Robin going to her band meeting and Gwen...well, she at first had no idea where to go. Obviously she should have gone to the cafeteria since it was lunch but her nerves were getting the better of her. She thought of going back to the bathroom and hiding out there but fought against doing that.

Ten minutes of hiding was fine but thirty minutes? No.

Gwen decided now that she had time again that she could try opening her locker. She did after all have her Chemistry and English books with her. She still had yet to get her World History and Geometry books. It would be better now if she made room. As Gwen reached her locker she almost froze when she saw who was standing further down the hall from her.

Nancy...but she wasn't alone. Barb was there and it would have been fine if it was just her. Unfortunately it wasn't just Barb who was hanging with her cousin. Those jerks Gwen had run into outside Fair Mart were there. Steve, Carol, and as Gwen now knew Tommy, Carol's boyfriend.

Steve stood by her cousin, arm around her shoulder. He seemed to have said something to her, making the brown haired girl laugh.

Gwen let out a scoff and turned back around towards her locker. There was no way she was going to make conversation with her cousin while Steve and his friends were there. She was going to quickly open her locker, put her books inside, and then leave.

Putting the combination that was given to her by the office lady, Gwen pulled on the lock. Her eyebrows furrowed when the lock didn't open. She put the combination again and her puzzlement, along with frustration, grew. Gwen let out a huff. She shook the lock harder but it did nothing. The fuck? Why wasn't it opening? She did the combination again and became even more angry when the lock didn't open. Stupid lock. Open already so I don't have to encounter my cousin's stupid boyfriend and his asshat friends!

"You have to jiggle it a bit."

A quiet voice said from behind her.

Gwen let go of the lock and turned around. A boy her age with brown hair stood there. His feet shifting his weight back and forth. Due to his voice and the way he presented himself, Gwen knew he was more on the introverted side. She let her frustration wash away knowing it wouldn't do her any good when conversing with him. She gave him a puzzled look that said if he could elaborate more on what he said.

The boy stepped forward. "That lock's pretty old compared to the others." The boy pointed to said lock as he used one hand to make a turning gesture. "So you gotta jiggle it a bit." The boy then put his hand down to his side. His head also lowered a bit towards the floor. "That used to be my locker last year."

"Oh..." Gwen replied and then did just what the boy said and the lock opened without any trouble. Her eyes brightened, happy that the lock opened. "It worked!" She exclaimed." She turned around to face the boy again. "Thanks."

The boy nodded his head, bashful. "You're welcome." He began to walk off.

Gwen quickly caught his attention. "Wait, what's your name?"

The boy stopped walking, turning around to face her again. "Jonathan." He softly told her.

"You got a last name?" Gwen smiled a little, trying to be lighthearted with him. He seemed like the serious type and when it came to the serious type of people Gwen's lighthearted side (whatever remained) came out of hiding. She noticed Jonathan go quiet, and fixed his posture before speaking.

"Byers."

"Byers?" Gwen questioned as her eyes gleamed with a sense of recollection. "Oh, you're Will's older brother." The younger boy had mentioned his older brother to her a few more times since they became better acquainted with one another. He had nothing but good things to say about his older brother. Will once told her that if they met they would get along. Guess she was about to find out.

Jonathan nodded his head. "Yeah."

"I'm Gwen. Gwen Tozier." She introduced herself. "I'm Nancy and Mike Wheeler's cousin. I don't know if you know either of them. But I figured you would since your brother is friends with my cousin."

"Yeah, I know who they are." Jonathan responded somewhat timidly. "My brother mentioned you to me before."

"Really?" Gwen asked, raising her eyebrows. Really that shouldn't have surprised her. Will mentioned Jonathan to her, so him mentioning her to Jonathan shouldn't have been such a surprise. Yet it was.

A small smile escaped Jonathan. "He said you have great taste in music and that you're a fan of The Clash."

"I do like The Clash." Gwen excitedly confirmed.

Jonathan's smile somewhat widened at hearing her love for the band. "Yeah, me too."

"So, Jonathan, you want to eat lunch together?" Gwen suddenly asked, smiling. Things seemed to be going well between them. Like with Robin there was that connection there that made Gwen want to befriend him. Her smile fell when he saw how his eyes widened. "What?"

"You want to eat lunch with me?" Jonathan looked as if he had been the most complicated riddle of all that.

Gwen was puzzled by his response. "Yeah, why do you sound like that?"

Jonathan shook his head. "Sorry, it's just that I usually eat lunch alone...and away from the cafeteria."

Gwen pulled on her jacket's sleeves. "Well, we can get food there but don't have to eat in the cafeteria if you don't want to. You choose the location and I'll follow. Unless you don't want me there." Gwen let out a groan. "Oh shit, I basically just invited myself. How lame?" She continued to ramble. "You probably already have people to eat with. Sorry dude."

"No, don't apologize. It's okay." Jonathan quickly reassured her. "And I don't. I don't have people to eat with." He looked embarrassed admitting that to her. "I eat lunch by myself, but I'd like to eat lunch with you...and we can eat outside." A soft expression appeared. "I like eating outside. I usually take photos with my camera during lunch." He gestured to his backpack where he had his camera.

So he was into photography? That was cool. Gwen nodded her head. "Outside it is then."

"Let me just open my locker first." Jonathan told her. "I wanna switch out my books."

Gwen snapped her fingers. "Right, and I should do the same thing because that's why I wanted to open my locker in the first place." She said, and that made Jonathan laugh quietly.

As they momentarily parted ways, unknown to them, they had caught the attention of Nancy and the others.

"Why the hell is she hanging out with that freak Byers?" Carol asked scowling. Her scowl appeared when she had seen them interacting.

"I don't know." Nancy quietly answered. She too was puzzled as to why Gwen was hanging with Jonathan. Not that she thought he was a freak like the others. Her puzzlement had more to do with the fact that Gwen was hanging out with anyone else than just her and Barb. Her cousin did not seem like the type to make friends so fast, let alone easily. What puzzled her even more was the way Gwen had interacted with Jonathan. She was less guarded and her face lit up. Not at all how she'd be when at home with her and her family.

"No offense Nancy but your cousin has awful taste in friends." Tommy snickered. "I mean, she's a babe no doubt but a terrible judge of character."

"Dude!" Steve exclaimed with a frown. He let go of Nancy to push Tommy's shoulder.

Tommy didn't look the least bit ashamed with what he said. "What? Do you disagree with any of that? Especially the babe part." He looked towards Gwen's way. Her back was in good view as she was putting away her books into her locker. Although the dress she was wearing wasn't revealing, and even with her jacket, her curves still stood out.

Barb shook her head, finding his comment towards Gwen to be disgusting and disrespectful. Nancy glared his way and Steve saw that, causing him to give him another shove.

"Not in front of Nancy." Steve harshly whispered to him. Thankfully Nancy hadn't heard him say that. Her anger was still on Tommy. There was one more person who was just as upset but not for the same reasons.

Carol threw Tommy a glare before she hit him on the chest. "Stop calling her a babe! She's not even that pretty." She narrowed her eyes at the outfit Gwen was wearing. "I can't believe she's wearing that jacket again."

"She likes that jacket." Nancy was quick to defend.

Carol scoffed. "Well, it's lame. Just like she is."

Nancy's annoyance heightened. "You don't even know her."

"Oh and you do?" Carol raised a perfect eyebrow at Nancy. "Did you know that she flipped us off. Yeah, that's right. Your darling cousin did that, outside Fair Mart. Just ask Steve."

Nancy was shocked to hear that. That couldn't be true...could it? If it was then why didn't Steve tell her. She had brought up Gwen to him before. There were plenty of times he could have told her. She looked up at Steve, frowning.

"Did she really do that?"

Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah but to be fair we were being jerks."

"No we weren't." Carol rolled her eyes. "I was just telling her my honest opinion on her outfit."

"Who cares." Tommy replied, and the group looked at him. "She's hot when she's mad."

That comment upset Carol and she made her anger very clear. While the couple were arguing, Barb excused herself with an eye-roll, and Nancy and Steve dismissed themselves as well. Steve knew from the look Nancy was giving him that they were going to talk more about the encounter he failed to tell her that he had with Gwen. Before they turned the corner, Steve gave Gwen one more last look.

She was once again with Jonathan and they were turning into a corner. Jonathan was ahead but right before she followed him, they made eye contact.

Steve was shocked to see Gwen throw him a smile. He was almost compelled to do the same, and he almost did...but then Gwen's smile fell and she once again was flipping him off, this time with a glare.

Steve didn't say anything as he faced forward again.

Yeah...he should have never looked back.

Chapter Text

"The cake had a trick candle that wouldn't go out, so I didn't get my wish. Which was just that it would always be like this, that my life could be a party just for me." ― Janet Fitch, White Oleander

On the early morning of November second, the day of Gwen Tozier's sixteenth birthday, she woke up screaming at the exact time she was brought into the world from a nightmare about IT.

The nightmare wasn't like her usual ones. In the nightmare Gwen was back in the sewers again with the IT. That wasn't the unusual part. What was the unusual part was that IT took the same deceivingly handsome man's form Gwen had seen in the sewers. The man with alabaster skin, dark blondish hair, and murky green eyes.

Gwen couldn't move in the nightmare, so she could only watch as those handsome features on the man's face started to twist into something sinister. Pennywise. ITs clown form. The form IT had liked tormenting Gwen the most as.

ITs yellow eyes and deranged smile were in Gwen's view. In her nightmare the only movement she could make was her trembling in place, and that's what she did as IT started dancing, and laughing.

Gwen suddenly cried loudly in her nightmare when IT pounced on her. Once again she found herself on the disgusting sewer floor with IT on top. IT smiled widely down at her, allowing Gwen to see razor sharp teeth that got closer and closer to her.

Gwen finally woke up from her nightmare just as IT bit her right shoulder.

And like all the other times she woke up from a nightmare, Gwen's Aunt Karen came to check on her. The older woman got to her a lot faster now that Gwen was sleeping upstairs.

Karen finished preparing Gwen's bedroom weeks ago. That meant Mike and the boys had the basement as their hangout place for themselves again. Gwen still kept them company sometimes when they played Dungeons & Dragons.

Unfortunately now that Gwen was sleeping upstairs that also meant her screams were even closer to the rest of the Wheeler household. Gwen was honestly shocked that her blood-curdling screaming had never caused three year old Holly to wake up screaming as well.

Gwen would have felt awful if she scared Holly. Just as she felt awful that her Aunt Karen would come to check on her every time she woke up from a nightmare. Gwen hated that she was disturbing everyone's sleep, but especially her Aunt Karen's.

The teenager really thought her aunt would be like her mother, and after a few times would stop coming to check on her. But no, Karen wasn't like her sister Maggie. She never stopped and her attentiveness made Gwen feel safe, cared for. Gwen remembered feeling this way a lot because of her mother when she was younger. However she began feeling less and less of this way as she got older.

After a few soft words from her Aunt Karen, and Gwen lying her ass off insisting she was fine to go to sleep again, she was left alone in her room.

Gwen pulled on her blanket, feeling pain coming from her right shoulder. Everytime she tried closing her eyes, ITs yellow eyes flashed in her mind.

Needless to say, the now sixteen year old didn't go back to sleep.

Halloween had been two days ago but the decorations were still up around the Wheeler home.

When Gwen was younger, Halloween used to be her and Richie's favorite holiday. Then their mother, Maggie, started controlling what they dressed up as, and it no longer felt like a fun holiday.

And after all that horrifying shit with IT, Gwen wasn't really into Halloween anymore. The free candy was still great.

Even if she was considered too old to trick-or-treat now, Gwen still ate the candy. This year she ate the extra bag of candy her aunt bought to pass out in case it was needed. As it turned out the extra bag of candy hadn't been needed so Gwen got to have it.

She'd eaten the candy as she watched Raiders of the Lost Ark in the living room. The teenager had chosen an adventure movie over a horror movie when she'd gone to the video store.

That's where Mike, Will, Lucas, and Dustin found her, lounging on the living room couch after they returned to the Wheeler house from trick-or-treating. It had just been Gwen watching the movie.

Her Uncle Ted had gone upstairs and was snoring, and her Aunt Karen had been trying to put Holly to sleep for the past hour. It was taking longer than expected thanks to all the candy Holly had eaten.

Gwen asked Nancy if she wanted to watch the movie she rented with her but Nancy said she already had plans.

Nancy didn't tell Gwen what those plans were but the Tozier girl had a feeling Steve Harrington was involved. The ass. Not that Gwen told Nancy this, even though she really wanted to let her cousin know how much of an ass she thought Steve was.

Gwen thought she really was going to end up spending Halloween night alone, especially after Jonathan cancelled at the last minute on her saying he had to take a shift at his job. To Gwen's delight she watched the remainder of Raiders of the Lost Ark with Mike, Will, Lucas, and Dustin.

Apparently the boys loved the movie and didn't mind watching it from the middle instead of the beginning. From what Dustin happily told her, he and the others had seen the movie a whole bunch of times already.

So Halloween night did end on a good note.

The same paper Jack-O-Lanterns that were stuck on the walls (the ones Holly made with her mom) remained there as Gwen sat down at the kitchen table for morning breakfast.

Gwen wasn't in the best of moods thanks to her headache from waking up early and not going back to sleep. She'd been up since four in the morning and she sure felt like it.

"Gwen!" Holly called out happily from her high chair. Gwen waved at her, feeling awkward. Even after a month of living with the Wheelers, Gwen still felt odd being liked so much by her little cousin.

The quiet good morning Gwen gave to the rest of the Wheelers was echoed back to her in a much better mood by her Aunt Karen and Nancy.

Her Uncle Ted spoke in a monotone voice, while Mike's greeting was simpler, and didn't sound as forced as the other good mornings she'd gotten from him before.

Gwen thought that to be an improvement.

"Here you go, Gwen." Karen smiled, setting a plate of pancakes in front of her. The whipped cream on the pancakes spelled out a one and a six. There were strawberries and blueberries on it. "Happy birthday."

The older woman wanted to wish her niece a happy birthday earlier but decided it probably wasn't the best time to do so after Gwen woke up from a nightmare. So Karen decided to wait until breakfast time.

It was a sweet gesture from her aunt, it really was. Gwen, however, felt like crap for receiving a sweet gesture in the first place, even on her birthday. She felt awful for waking up her aunt so early. Her aunt worked on making this for her though, and she wasn't about to throw the gesture aside.

Gwen tried her best at giving a convincing smile. "Thank you, Aunt Karen." The older woman smiled again before turning to go fix herself a plate.

Her Uncle Ted idly wished her a happy birthday from behind the morning newspaper he was reading.

Nancy was as prim and proper as she usually was. "Happy birthday, Gwen." She told her with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, happy birthday, Gwen." Mike mumbled poking at his eggs with his fork. He had pancakes as well, only his didn't have whipped cream, strawberries, or blueberries on them.

Without giving it a second thought, Gwen reached for his plate that was across from her and started using her fork to put strawberries and blueberries on his pancakes.

Despite seeing what she was doing, Mike narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing?"

Gwen shrugged her shoulders. "Giving you a few of my strawberries and blueberries." She casually told him, pushing back his plate.

Mike looked at the strawberries and blueberries that were now on his pancakes. He really did like it when his mother put them on his pancakes and he was a bit disappointed when he saw that only Gwen got them. But it was her birthday after all. He wasn't about to demand any and ruin the morning for his cousin. Even if he wasn't completely fond of her yet.

"I didn't ask you to." Mike retorted, annoyed because he'd been trying to be polite. "Besides, they're for your birthday pancakes my mom made for you."

Gwen popped a strawberry into her mouth. She chewed and spoke after. "Exactly, they're mine so I can give you some if I want to."

Mike let out a huff. "You don't―"

"Just eat them." Gwen cut him off.

"Eat your breakfast Michael." His father commented flatly, eyes still on the newspaper he was reading. Gwen had no idea if her uncle even heard their full conversation, or if he just chose to suddenly turn on his ears. After thinking about it better, Gwen realized it was more than likely the latter.

"Fine…whatever." Mike muttered. He munched on a strawberry, inwardly happy that he got to have some with his pancakes. Not that he'd tell Gwen.

Nancy shook her head at him before looking at Gwen. "Sorry about my brother. He has no manners even when someone does something nice for him." She suddenly yelped when Mike kicked her under the table. She returned the kick which earned her a glare from Mike.

"Settle down now." Ted told his kids halfheartedly, more focused on the newspaper's sports section.

"Gwen! Birthday cake!" Holly exclaimed with a smile.

"No, not yet, Holly." Karen answered sweetly as she returned to the table. "That's until later."

"Really, a cake's not necessary." Gwen sheepishly let her aunt know. "This…" She gestured to her birthday breakfast. "This is enough."

"It's your sixteenth birthday." Karen gently reminded her. "Now I know you told me you didn't want anything extravagant but you at least need to have a cake. It's not really a birthday without a cake. I promise you're going to like it."

Gwen felt the stares from Mike and Nancy. It made denying having a birthday cake even more awkward. So she relented. "Okay."

"Then you can open your presents after dinner tonight." Her aunt went on to say.

Presents?

Gwen wanted to protest that they shouldn't have gotten her anything but knew it was already too late for that. Before she could say anything the house phone began to ring. Her aunt went to answer it.

"Gwen?" Karen called out, phone against her ear

"Hmm." Gwen was all she could say with the pancakes in her mouth.

Her aunt smiled kindly. "It's for you. Your mom and dad."

Gwen finished eating what she had in her mouth and then got up from her seat. Her aunt handed her the phone once she was close enough.

From the kitchen table Mike curiously watched Gwen talk to her parents on the phone. Her reaction wasn't one of absolute happiness like he expected her to have. It was her birthday and her parents were calling her. Shouldn't she be happy? The mild smile on her face said otherwise, and that puzzled Mike.

Mike went back to eating his breakfast, barely listening to whatever his mother was telling Nancy. His attention went back to Gwen when he heard her laugh. The teenager's demeanor changed. She was laughing now, like actually laughing and her smile was brighter.

"Richie! Stop singing happy birthday to me, you sound ridiculous. Yeah, even over the phone." Gwen shook her head from amusement, and Mike wondered what else was said that was so funny. "Beep beep, Richie!"

Mike looked down at the pancakes on his plate, his fork poked at one of the strawberries Gwen gave him. The twelve year old realized then that he only ever saw Gwen happy like this whenever she spoke to her brother. 

Gwen wasn't one for celebrating her birthday. Even before everything she went through with IT, Gwen never liked the extra attention the day brought her.

Thankfully only a few people at the high school knew it was her birthday. Nancy obviously knew, and she mentioned it to Barb.

Jonathan also knew because of Will, who had been personally told by Gwen. And Robin only knew because of a question game Gwen and her played during Study Hall.

So the birthday wishes were limited, and Gwen was glad for that.

Jonathan respected Gwen's request about keeping her birthday as simple as possible. When he saw her at school he quietly wished her a happy birthday before giving her the mixtape he made for her. He passed along a chocolate bar saying it was from his mother.

Gwen smiled when receiving both of the gifts. She really hadn't expected to receive gifts from the Byers. But to learn that Jonathan took the time to make her a mixtape with the help of Will? Yeah she was almost speechless.

Joyce gave her chocolate and Gwen knew there was a meaning behind the gift after the shoplifting incident and her coming to Gwen's aid.

Barb gifted her with stickers, and not the girly kind Nancy had decorated inside her locker. The stickers Barb gave Gwen were of various rock bands she had talked to her about.

Robin brought burgers from a local diner during lunch for Gwen. Robin said they were the best burgers she'd ever had, and once eating one for herself Gwen could understand why she thought that.

These were all gifts Gwen was grateful for, and she thanked everyone individually. Except she still felt like she didn't deserve any of their kindness.

However, there was one thing Gwen wanted for her birthday, and she wanted to get it herself.

Now what did Gwen want for her sixteenth birthday?

A car? No.

New clothes? No.

What Gwen wanted was weed. She'd never gotten high before. But what better day to get high for the first time than on your sixteenth birthday? She thought it was rather poetic.

Like at any high school the students at Hawkins High talked. Soon enough Gwen found out who exactly she needed to ask for to buy weed from.

As she'd come to find out, it was a guy named Eddie Munson who sold weed to the students at Hawkins High. He was a student himself. A Senior actually, and with the small amount of people Gwen talked to she learned that he wasn't very studious.

Gwen by now knew who Eddie Munson was. Not personally, and she didn't have any classes with him but she heard him very loud and clear whenever she ate in the cafeteria without Jonathan. Eddie was a rambunctious person who had a flair for the dramatics and often stood on lunch tables. So it was hard not to notice him.

The Tozier girl was informed that Eddie usually conducted deals away from school grounds. She didn't know if the male classmate Gwen had spoken to was a friend or a client of Eddie's but she was told to meet Eddie in the woods. There was a spot where she could wait for him until he got there after school.

And that's where she was currently doing. Waiting.

Gwen wasn't at all scared to be in the woods alone. It was still daytime, and anyways she'd been in much scarier places. Like the fuckin' sewers with an evil entity lurking. It was hard to beat that as a scary place to be.

The now sixteen year old sat down on the wooden table that was in that area. She didn't know how long Eddie would take so she decided to listen to the mixtape Jonathan gave her to pass the time. She pressed play on her Walkman after putting on her headphones.

The song Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses started blasting in her ears. This was the same song Gwen sang during the fourth of July festival in Derry.

She's got a smile that it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry

Gwen sang along. She wasn't at all spooked when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Not sensing any real danger near her, she turned around.

Eddie Munson stood there with his long curly unkempt hair and his leather jacket and ripped jeans. Gwen noticed the Black Sabbath t-shirt underneath his leather jacket. She nodded her head at that, slightly impressed.

"Hey." Gwen calmly greeted him as she took off her headphones.

Eddie appeared slightly taken aback at her passive response. "Huh, and here I thought I was going to scare you." He sounded a little bit disappointed but he was still grinning.

Gwen put her Walkman inside her backpack. "Sorry to disappoint." She grimly replied. "It takes a lot to scare me."

Eddie tilted his head at her. Gwen Tozier. Nancy Wheeler's cousin. Word spread fast at Hawkins High and even though he thought he was better than the sheep at his high school who easily conformed, he still had ears and eyes.

Before today Eddie had never spoken to Gwen. He'd only seen her around school. The elusive brunette either hung out with shy Jonathan Byers or by herself, minding her own business as she listened to her Walkman. She was attached to that thing, and from what he was able to hear right now she had a nice set of pipes.

Eddie took a seat across from her with the chain on his belt hitting the table. "Ah, a woman made out of ice." His brown eyes gleamed.

"Ice melts." Gwen replied somewhat dryly. "I don't melt." She told him, not breaking eye contact.

Eddie found her comment to be diverting. However there was a part of him that took what she said seriously. He nodded his head at her. "No, I guess you don't." She really wasn't like her cousin, at all.

Now he didn't know Nancy personally but from what he saw around school she was with Steve Harrington now. For him that said plenty enough about Nancy Wheeler. When it came to Nancy's cousin, however, Eddie got a different vibe. He should have known Gwen was different in a good way after seeing her wear a Led Zeppelin t-shirt.

Even now Gwen wasn't dressed like most of the girls at Hawkins High. The jeans she had on were old, and she was once again wearing another band t-shirt. Today she had on a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt with a dark green military jacket thrown over it. She really must have loved that jacket with the amount of times he'd seen her wear it. Not that he was one to judge since he was the same way with his leather jacket.

"So how much?" Gwen asked, getting to the point as to why they were in the woods.

Eddie set the metal lunch box he brought with him on the table. "I'll sell you half an ounce for twenty. It's a fair price considering how much you get out of it." He told her, opening the lunch box to show her the bag with the weed. "I only accept cash as payment, and for obvious reasons I won't be giving you a receipt."

The no receipt part made sense. Who would want a receipt for purchasing drugs? "That's fine with me." Gwen reached for her backpack where she kept her money.

Eddie snapped his fingers. "You know, I've seen you around Gwen."

Gwen paused her movements but she remained casual. Hawkins High was a small school, so of course he'd seen her. "Yeah, I've seen you around school too."

"You smoke under the bleachers." Eddie pointed out, chuckling.

Gwen pursed her lips. "I'm not the only one who smokes there."

"No, but you're one of the few people who smokes actual cigarettes under the bleachers. It's known as stoner territory." There was mirth in his brown eyes as he looked at her. "Will this be your first time smoking weed?" He asked, grinning.

"No." Gwen answered way too quickly. Eddie's grin widened. She huffed, the grip on her backpack dropping. "You got me. It will be, okay?"

"And you know how to?" Eddie gestured to the baggie that had the weed.

Rolling a joint wasn't rocket science. Gwen had seen enough movies to know what to do exactly. "Don't worry about it. I can figure it out."

"I'm sure you will. I mean you look like a very smart person." Eddie commented with amusement but his words didn't sound condescending to Gwen. "I gotta ask…" He leaned forward, voice lowering dramatically. "Why the sudden need for weed? You've been here for about a month or so, and you've never bought from me before."

"Do you ask all your customers this?" Gwen's response sounded more sharp than she intended. However, that didn't diminish Eddie's current lively mood.

Eddie sat up straight with a slight jump. "Hmm, just the ones that are new to town." He quipped. "Which is not a lot."

"Not that it's any of your business but today's my birthday." Gwen solemnly admitted to him. "And what better way to celebrate my sweet sixteen than by getting high for the first time."

"I'm getting the feeling that you're not a fan of your birthday." Eddie looked at her in a way Gwen thought he was trying to read her to understand her better. Good luck with that pal, she thought. Instead of replying she averted her eyes, looking at her hands rather than at him.

It became quiet, too quiet and Eddie never liked it when it was too quiet. Also the sadness coming from Gwen made him want to do something to change that. If there was one thing Eddie Munson didn't like seeing it was pretty girls in a sad mood. One could say it was even his weakness. He drummed on the table loudly with his hands. "Tell you what…" He drawled.

Gwen felt him slip the bag with the weed into her hand. "It's yours. Don't worry about the payment."

Gwen looked at him again. This time with a puzzled expression. "You're giving it to me for free?"

Eddie shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? I'm a softie." He gave her a wink. "Not that I want you telling the whole school. This stays between you and me, yeah?"

Gwen nodded her head. She could respect him wanting to keep this image he had going on.

"Anyways, happy birthday." Eddie sang with a large grin, dark brown eyes shining. He stood up to do a silly air guitar dance. Gwen watched him, a small smile escaping her. It didn't go unnoticed by Eddie and he gave her a bow. "You have a good time now." He gestured to the weed he'd given her. "Make the most of it."

"Thanks…Eddie."

Gwen almost called him a familiar nickname but she remembered this wasn't Eddie. This was just someone else with the same name. Like her cousin Mike who had the same name as her friend Mike from Derry.

Eddie Munson would only ever be known as Eddie for Gwen.

In Gwen's life there was only one Eddie she'd ever call Eds, and that was Eddie Kaspbrak.

Gwen indeed figured out how to smoke the weed she purchased from Eddie.

She ended up getting high behind the Fair Mart while listening to the rest of the mixtape she got from Jonathan. As it turns out Gwen didn't get paranoid while high. If anything, the weed just made her feel numb inside. She knew a lot of people would've wanted to feel that way, and she originally wanted that too.

However once the numbness entered in all of Gwen's system she realized she didn't really like it. It wasn't at all like whenever Gwen drank. When she got drunk there was a numbness inside her but it only lingered in the background, everything else was emotions.

Gwen was an emotional drunk. So with alcohol in her system she felt a lot of things, mainly how she felt about herself. She never had nice things to say about herself. Gwen would also think about all her worst qualities. She did this because hating herself made it easier to get drunk.

It was wrong of her to want that emotional pain but as she realized now, Gwen wanted to feel that way because she thought she deserved to. She was a shitty person so she deserved to feel shitty.

As she now knew weed didn't accomplish that. Not in the way only alcohol did.

Gwen wanted to cry so bad right now, but she was so numb from the weed.

The next song on the mixtape began to play. It was Thank You by Led Zeppelin. A song Gwen liked a lot but was too numb to properly enjoy it.

Gwen slowly looked down at the palm where the cut from the promise she made with the Losers was. Suddenly there was a faint ache in her heart. It was almost unnoticeable but once she felt it she held onto it. She fought to keep that ache from fading away as she pressed her nails down hard on the cut on her palm.

It didn't take long for her to feel pain, and for her to finally shed a few tears. She ignored the marks left from her nails, knowing they would go away unlike the cut on her palm. The numbness was still there though. She imagined the source of it coming from her chest.

The tears she forced were now at the bottom of her cheeks. She didn't wipe them away. Gwen instead faced forward with a dull expression as she continued to listen to the rest of the song.

If the sun refused to shine

I would still be loving you

Mountains crumble to the sea

There will still be you and me

Now that Gwen knew weed didn't do it for her, she wasn't about to smoke what she had left. She felt bad since Eddie gave it to her for free but she didn't feel bad enough to smoke it until it was gone. She'd figure out what to do with the remaining weed later, for now she'd keep it hidden.

Gwen came prepared. She knew after smoking weed that she would smell like it so she brought one of Nancy's perfumes with her. Earlier today Gwen asked her cousin if she could borrow one of her perfumes, and Nancy, thinking she wanted to wear a nice perfume for her birthday, let her borrow it. She doubted Nancy wouldn't have let her borrow it if she knew why Gwen wanted it in the first place.

From what Gwen saw inside the Fair Mart's bathroom, her eyes weren't really glassy or super red. Not even after her forced crying. She could use the tired excuse from waking up early if anyone asked why she looked the way she did.

Thankfully no one asked questions about her appearance when she arrived at the Wheeler house. Although Mike did complain that she smelled too much like Nancy.

Better he thought she smelled more like lilacs than weed.

By the time Gwen finished her birthday dinner she no longer felt so numb inside. Once the birthday cake was brought, Gwen was able to enjoy the dessert, though not as much as Holly was. The three year old ate more chocolate slices than she did.

Afterwards her aunt instructed Gwen and the others to move over to the living room for present time. Gwen opened Nancy's present first. Her cousin got her a blue messenger bag with a rainbow design on it.

This wasn't what she thought Nancy would give her. Gwen thought for some reason that Nancy's gift would be something superficial. She should have known better. Just because Nancy was with an ass like Steve Harrington didn't mean she was an ass herself. Her cousin actually gave her something she would like and use.

Gwen almost got up to hug Nancy but at the last second her awkwardness won over and instead she gave her cousin a meek smile. Nancy's own expression was of bemusement before nodding her head, accepting that her cousin had yet to be more affectionate with her.

Next was her aunt and uncle's present.

A long bright green box with a bow was placed in front of Gwen by her uncle. Her eyes widened, wondering what the hell they got her. Gently setting aside Nancy's present, she opened the box. Gwen almost couldn't believe what was inside.

"Baseball!" Holly exclaimed from her mother's lap.

Mike was perplexed by the present given to Gwen by his parents. "You got her a baseball bat?"

"It's actually a softball bat." Gwen corrected in a low voice.

Karen nodded her head. "We figured, when you're ready, that is, you'd want to try out for the softball team at the high school."

"You play softball?" Nancy asked. She didn't know that. Then again, there was still a lot she didn't know about her cousin.

"At my old high school." Gwen quietly answered. Truth be told, she'd forgotten about softball. She didn't even think about it during the summer thanks to her being constantly worried about an evil entity going after her, her brother, and their friends. Now that she was in Hawkins, away from Derry, would she want to play again? And with a completely new team without her friend Francine? She wasn't quite sure.

Except how can she say she wasn't going to at least try after opening such a nice, and not cheap present based on the quality of the softball bat. She put the lid over the box, switching her gaze to her aunt and uncle. "Um, thank you both for this."

It became quiet, with only Holly's mumbled words about wanting more cake being heard. Karen looked at her son, clearing her throat. Mike sighed, passing Gwen his present to her.

This right now was the most surprised Gwen felt today. She didn't think Mike would give her a present. Not only because he was young but also because she didn't think he would want to give her anything.

The wrapping wasn't the same as Nancy's present, so that must have meant Mike wrapped it himself. Gwen was really curious what Mike got her and her tearing the wrapping paper showed that.

Gwen stared at the now revealed present with a softness in her eyes.

"How to play Dungeons & Dragons for beginners handbook." The sixteen year old read the title of the book loudly. After opening it she came across a character sheet. Gwen stared at Mike, slightly puzzled. Was this his subtle way of saying she could play with him and his friends?

Nancy frowned. She glanced at her younger brother. "Wait, isn't that your old handbook?"

Karen shook her head. "Honestly Michael." She tsked.

"What?" Mike sounded offended. "It's not like I use it anymore!"

"No need to raise your voice son." Ted commented offhandedly from beside Karen.

Mike crossed his arms over his chest.

Unlike her aunt and cousin, Gwen didn't think it was a bad or useless present. "No, wait, this is actually very nice." Gwen looked at Mike. Her voice was soft, sincere. "This way I'll learn how to play the game a lot faster. Thank you Mike."

Mike blinked at his cousin. There was neither a smile or frown on his face. He nodded his head before looking at Nancy. "See, it is a good present." He told his sister who only rolled her eyes at him.

Gwen's smile was small and not as bright when watching the siblings. Richie and her didn't argue the way Mike and Nancy argued, and not even as much, but they still had the sibling dynamic. It made Gwen miss Richie even more.

About half an hour later, Gwen was in her bedroom upstairs listening to her Walkman. She managed to hear the knock on her bedroom door even with the music playing in her ears. Taking off her headphones Gwen got up to see who it was.

Gwen expected to see either her aunt or even Nancy but it was neither. Instead it was Will, Lucas, and Dustin.

"Hey guys." Gwen greeted, bemused but delighted to see them.

"Happy birthday Gwen." Dustin grinned, shoving a bunch of snacks into Gwen's hands almost dropping a few.

Gwen's eyes widened. "Wow."

"We tried getting snacks you like." Lucas told her, handing over more snacks. Gwen walked over to her desk to put the snacks there before any of them fell.

"You guys, this is really sweet." Gwen smiled gently, walking over to them.

Dustin waved his hand. "Eh, it was nothing."

Gwen shook her head. "But you guys shouldn't have wasted money on me."

"Technically it was our parents' money." Lucas told her with a shrug.

Gwen almost laughed. Mike's voice caught their attention. Will, Lucas, and Dustin glanced at the stairs. They were aware that Mike was waiting for them downstairs.

"Anyways we just wanted to wish you a happy birthday." Dustin grinned, waving at her before turning to go.

"Yeah, happy birthday Gwen." Lucas echoed, then left to catch up with Dustin.

Gwen stared at Will who'd been quiet the whole time. She furrowed her eyebrows, getting concerned with the way he looked nervous. "Will? You okay?

Will nodded his head. "Yeah…." He brought the paper he had behind him into her view. "I made this for you." He handed Gwen the piece of paper she hadn't seen him with. "Sorry it's not wrapped." He shyly told her.

Gwen was amazed by Will's gift. It was a drawing. The drawing was of her listening to her Walkman. She knew by now how great Will's drawing skills were based on some of his drawings she'd seen. Will was even better at drawing than Bill was. She really could see Will becoming a professional artist later down the road if he stuck with it.

"Will…this is amazing." Gwen let him know with an actual smile. "Thank you."

Will's face lit up, relieved she liked her gift. He'd been nervous thinking she wasn't going to like the drawing.

"Happy birthday Gwen." Will told her before leaving to go downstairs with the others. Gwen's smile remained even when putting the drawing on her desk. She was going to listen to her music again but another knock on the bedroom door was heard. This time it was her aunt.

"I almost forgot, you got mail." Karen handed her a few envelopes. "A lot of mail." She smiled, leaving to give her privacy to read what she got.

Gwen furrowed her eyebrows looking down at the mail in her hands, wondering who they were from. She quickly found out.

When she talked to Richie in the morning he said the Losers wished her a happy birthday, minus Beverly who was away in Portland with her aunt. Richie assured her that they hadn't forgotten. Turns out they really hadn't based on individual birthday cards Bill, Mike, Ben, and Eddie sent her.

They must have mailed the birthday cards days ago in order for them to arrive on her birthday. Gwen didn't look past that, and she got teary eyed when looking at the now framed photo she had with the Losers and her during the fourth of July festival on her nightstand.

When her eyes went back to the mail she noticed there was one unopened envelope left. Even before seeing the familiar handwriting Gwen knew who it was from.

Gwen felt a familiar ache in heart. She tried keeping her breathing steady as she carefully opened the envelope. The now sixteen year old didn't even realize she was crying until she found out what was inside the envelope. It wasn't a birthday card like the rest of the Losers had sent her but instead a letter.

A letter from Stan.

Chapter Text

"How does knowing 'things could be worse' than what I already deem awful make me feel any better? You mean I could sink even lower? Oh joy!"
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, and Grumblings for Every Day of the Year

Two days after Gwen’s birthday, the sixteen year old went over to the Byers’ house after school. Jonathan and Gwen didn’t only spend time during school, they sometimes even hung out after. Usually it was either at the Hawkins Public Library where they did homework together, or they’d walk around town, enjoying each other's company. 

Sometimes Will walked around with them before he went to join the others. It had been Will, during one of their long walks, who showed Gwen the town’s arcade. The Palace Arcade was way bigger than the arcade in Derry. The arcade in Derry was connected to their local theater and it didn’t have as many games as the Palace Arcade. 

Gwen knew the moment she entered the arcade that Richie would have loved it. She made a mental note that if Richie ever came to Hawkins the Palace Arcade would be the first place Gwen would show him in town.  

Will told her Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and him would go to the arcade a lot but Gwen had yet to go with them. She’d been at the arcade on her own time, setting the highest scores on both Ms. Pac-Man and Pac-Man. 

The only negative thing she could say about the Palace Arcade was Keith, an employee there. Gwen knew Keith because he was in the same grade as Nancy and her. 

Keith used to try talking to Gwen whenever she was in the middle of a game. Flirting was more like it, although he was very awkward about it. He also chewed the cheese puffs he ate loudly. So Gwen thought of him to be more annoying than creepy. Besides, she thought no one could ever be as creepy as Patrick Hockstetter had been. 

Keith was harmless, aside from him being annoying. She especially thought Keith was annoying after he ruined her chances of getting a good score on Galaga.  

That had ticked her off. Keith had been smart enough to leave her side after receiving an irritated stare. Now the lanky teen approached her with caution when she wasn’t in the middle of an intense game. 

However, today wasn’t an arcade day. Today was even better than a day at the arcade. Today Gwen was visiting the Byers’ home. And as Gwen learned after getting an overjoyed greeting by Joyce, Jonathan had never brought over a girl before. 

Being welcomed happily by Joyce, an adult, into her home left Gwen feeling bemused but not at all uncomfortable. Aside from her family members, for the most part adults were either just the right amount of civil, indifferent, or flat out boorish with Gwen. At least that’s how it was when she lived in Derry. Maybe not at all the adults in Hawkins were the same way. Even after the whole shoplifting incident, and Joyce coming to her aid, she remained kind to her. 

Joyce handed Gwen the glass of water she got her before taking a seat. After initially greeting Gwen, Joyce and the teens had moved over to the living room.“So did you have a good birthday Gwen?” 

Gwen took a sip of her water before answering. “I did. Thanks again for the chocolate, Ms. Byers.”

“Gwen, you can call me Joyce.” The older woman smiled, good-natured. “And I’m glad you enjoyed it. Sorry that the chocolate probably didn’t compare to your other gifts.”

Gwen didn’t compare the gifts she got. Despite not being all proper ladylike as her mother wished her to be, Gwen knew it wasn’t a very polite thing to do. She also didn’t want to think about her other gifts. 

Alright, that was a lie. Gwen actually didn’t want to think about Stan’s gift which came in the form of a letter. A letter she had yet to find the courage to read and was locked away at the bottom of her desk drawer. Gwen was being a coward for not reading it because she knew whatever Stan wrote to her would make her breakdown. 

Gwen wanted to think positive things but her head was able to convince her that Stan probably wrote about how much pain she caused him, and honestly? She deserved to feel bad about it. Gwen usually was one to allow the emotional pain to sweep through her yet she wasn’t running to read the letter. She was prolonging the tears that were her heartache this time but eventually they’d be released. She wouldn’t be able to keep them in forever. 

Gwen took another sip of water again, trying to ignore the way her heart was racing. “I liked it.” She said afterwards to Joyce about the gift she gave her. By now Gwen's heart was somewhat calming down. “That’s all that matters.” She added placing the glass of water on the living room coffee table.  

Her dark brown eyes wandered over to Will who returned after putting away his backpack in his bedroom. Gwen waved, greeting him with a genuine smile. The gloom she felt from before was slipping away. Not entirely but enough for Gwen to interact with the Byers honestly and contentedly.  

Will waved back as he took a seat next to his brother. It was Friday so Jonathan had expected Will to go over to one of his friends’ houses. Will for the most part was out of the house more than Jonathan was the day leading up to the weekend but for today he decided to stay over while Gwen visited. 

A beige scruffy dog Gwen had seen when she first entered approached her. The dog sat down in front of her, tail wagging on the carpet. 

Gwen’s features softened. “Your dog’s adorable.” She liked dogs as much as she liked cats. Richie and her always wanted a dog but their mother never allowed it. She said animals were too much of a responsibility and didn’t believe Gwen and Richie would take care of it properly. Gwen just thought her mother was making excuses because she didn’t want an animal in the house. 

“His name’s Chester.” Jonathan told her. He petted him and then gestured for Gwen to do the same. Once getting the okay, Gwen gently petted Chester.  

“He’s crafty.” Will commented, looking at the scruffy dog. “He likes to eat from our plates whenever we have dinner. So if you ever stay over for dinner you need to watch out for that.”

Chester wagged his tail a few more times before he scurried off to the front door. 

“Excuse me, he wants to be let out.” Joyce got up from where she was sitting. Chester happily spun in circles and then ran out with a bark once the front door was open.  

“So, what are you guys' plans?” Joyce asked once she took a seat again. 

“We’re just going to do our English homework.” Jonathan informed his mother. “We figured it’d be best to get English out of the way since we both have tests next week for other classes.” He had a Math test to worry about and Gwen had a Chemistry test to stress over.

Jonathan was relieved he didn’t have Kaminsky’s for Chemistry because from what he heard the tests given in that class were the worst. Also, he was pretty sure he saw a guy coming out of the class crying the other day. 

“So the weekend will be about studying.” Gwen waved her hands in the air giving a fake cheer. 

“Can’t say I miss cramming for exams.” Joyce laughed, finding Gwen’s fake enthusiasm funny. It reminded her of how she used to be in high school. She cleared her throat. “So I have to leave in a few. I have the late afternoon shift today but help yourself to anything we have in the fridge.” She kindly told Gwen. 

“Thanks Ms…I mean Joyce.” Gwen smiled sheepishly. She was reminded of the time when she used to take piano lessons and had to get used to calling Bill’s mother Sharon and not Mrs. Denbrough. Gwen continued to make small conversation with Joyce until she excused herself to finally get ready for work. 

“So, what exactly is the English homework you two have to do?” Will asked the teenagers, curious. English wasn’t his favorite class but it was one he excelled in along with Science and Math. 

Jonathan answered first. “It’s a question worksheet we have to finish.” 

“We’re reading Homer’s epic poem The Iliad.” Gwen announced dramatically. She thought Richie would approve of the way she said it. She grabbed her backpack to move closer to where Jonathan and Will sat. She took out her English textbook and notebook. Jonathan did the same as her.  

Jonathan and her both had Mrs. Davis for Sophomore English but during different periods. They were still assigned the same homework assignments. Working together meant finishing the worksheet a lot faster. 

“So listen…” Gwen spoke again, catching Jonathan and Will’s attention. “I know we’re not really studying the character of Cassandra but I just find her so interesting.” 

Cassandra only had a minor role in the epic poem but Gwen did more research on her when she visited Hawkin’s Public Library. Ben would have been proud with the amount of research she’d done at the library. As she learned, Cassandra’s backstory was rather messed up. 

“Her life’s really sad.” Gwen went on to say, voice soft. 

Will tilted his head. “Why is it sad?”

Gwen looked at him and saw the curiosity on his face. She began talking about Cassandra’s story. “You see, Cassandra was one of the princesses of Troy. She’s the daughter of Priam and Hecuba. She’s described to be the most beautiful of her siblings. Like, astonishingly beautiful.” She let out a sad sigh. “Now according to myth, Apollo, the God of archery, music, dance, and a bunch of other stuff, fell in love with Cassandra and granted her the gift of prophecy. Being able to see into the future.” She explained to Will who was listening attentively. “Cassandra agreed to the gift but then refused to be with him. Apollo got so mad that she rejected him, he placed a curse on her.”

“What kind of curse?” Will nervously asked. “Did he take away the gift of being able to see into the future?”

“No, he didn’t.” Gwen shook her head. “That’s just it though. She’d be able to see into the future, see all the horrible things that would happen but nobody would believe her when she’d tell them what was going to happen. Everyone thought she was crazy. And so the gift that was once a blessing became a curse.” 

Gwen decided not to tell Will the rest of Cassandra’s story about her being enslaved by Agamemnon and becoming his concubine after the fall of Troy, only to then be killed by his wife Clytemnestra. It didn’t seem age appropriate and Will already seemed sad enough. 

“All because she didn’t want to be with him?” Will now looked perplexed and upset. “Seems like he overreacted. He should have just accepted being told no by her.”

Gwen thought the same as Will. “Yeah, he really should have. People with big egos tend to overreact, and unfortunately that’s not just in stories but in real life too.”

“It is important to remember that no is no though.” Jonathan quietly but earnestly added to the conversation. He’d been silently listening, intrigued and bothered as Will. 

“No is no.” Will softly echoed.  

Joyce appeared now wearing her work uniform. She walked to the kitchen, calling for Jonathan. Gwen and Will continued to talk as Jonathan went over to his mother. 

“She’s a sweet girl. A little misunderstood but sweet.” Joyce softly said, glancing at Gwen. She kept her voice low as she spoke to her oldest son. “I’m glad you two are getting to know each other.”

Jonathan nodded his head. “Yeah, she’s a good friend.”

Joyce sent her son a knowing smile. “Friend?” 

Jonathan ducked his head shyly, sighing from what his mother was trying to suggest. “Yes, she’s just a friend.” He insisted. 

Joyce lightened up on the teasing. “I’m just glad you have someone you can talk to. You know, other than me and Will.”

“I’m glad too.” Jonathan quietly responded. The friendship between Gwen and him wasn’t romantic in the slightest. It was strictly platonic and it was a comfort he was not used to having. It really was nice to have a friend his own age. Someone who didn’t look at him like he was an odd duck or took pity on him.  

After Joyce said her goodbyes Jonathan passed by Gwen and Will in the living room. He had more notes that would help out with the worksheet they needed to do. When he walked by them Jonathan overheard Will tell Gwen about Castle Byers and asked if she wanted to visit it after she was done with her homework. 

Jonathan had almost stopped walking from surprise. He knew how big of a deal Castle Byers was to his little brother. Even though Gwen hadn’t been in Hawkins that long she really must have made an impact on Will because only the people he trusted were allowed to enter the safe place he created. 

As Jonathan went into his bedroom to find his extra English notes, Gwen and Will were still talking. Gwen had just said yes about wanting to see Castle Byers after she finished with her homework when Will suddenly remembered something else worth talking about. 

“Mike told me he gave you his old Dungeons & Dragons handbook.”

The pencil Gwen had been tapping against her notebook came to a stop. She’d been trying to tap to the beat of Barracuda by Heart but it was way off. “Yeah, he did. It also came with a character sheet.”

“Cool!” Will exclaimed. “Mike’s been planning this campaign for the weekend. Maybe you can join.”

Gwen learned that a campaign in Dungeons & Dragons was a series of sessions and adventures where players continue with the same party of characters, picking up where they left off. To her surprise, a campaign can last more than a few hours. It can last days, and even weeks.

“Oh, I don’t think so.” The teen girl let him know in a less than confident tone of voice. 

Would she have liked to join this upcoming campaign? Yeah, but Gwen didn’t necessarily feel right joining a campaign Mike had been working on for only his friends and him. She didn’t want to intrude and cause Mike any further annoyance. Plus, she didn’t feel ready to play yet.  

“Why not?” Will asked, and then took a guess. “Have you filled out your character sheet?”

Gwen shook her head. “No, not yet. There’s a lot of options about who I can be and there’s also the character’s level, health, class, their background story, and a bunch of other stuff.”

“Yeah, but that’s the fun part.” Will encouraged. 

Gwen appeared unsure. “I can’t even think of a name.” She quietly admitted to him. 

Will’s jollity from before hadn’t gone away. “How about I  help you figure out a name for your character then.”

“Really?” 

Will saying he wanted to help with her potential Dungeons & Dragons character had Gwen tapping her pencil again. All her energy mixed with the feeling of…happiness? Was that actual happiness she was feeling? Yeah, there was no denying she was happy. It reminded Gwen of how she used to feel whenever she hung out with Richie and the rest of the Losers. Her friends. She supposed it made sense she’d feel this way now because Will was her friend. 

Will nodded his head. 

“Alright. Do you have any suggestions?” Gwen asked him. 

Will paused, his eyes then shining gleefully when smiling at Gwen. “Have you read any of The Lord Of The Rings books?”

Gwen never thought there would be a day where she hated a subject more than Math but Chemistry was now her most hated subject. She was aware from her first day at Hawkins High that Kaminsky’s class was no walk in the park. However she came to the conclusion that Kaminsky was a sadist for making her and the rest of the class memorize so much shit. 

Her attention span when it came to her studies wasn’t the greatest but she really was trying. So much that she gave herself a headache earlier on the day. 

The notes Barb gave her helped a lot and also studying with Nancy. Gwen and her had been studying for the last couple of hours but it all came to a stop when Nancy got a phone call. 

Based on the way Nancy’s cheeks turned rosy it had to have been Steve who called. Gwen certainly didn’t want to stay in Nancy’s room while Steve Harrington chatted her up so she quickly picked up her books and the flashcards she made with Nancy to excuse herself. 

Nancy was at least nice enough to acknowledge her leaving by giving Gwen a nod before giggling from whatever Steve said over the phone. 

It was gross, and yet Gwen felt a sting she didn’t think much about due to her stressing over an upcoming Chemistry test.  

Usually in the Wheeler household everyone ate together as a family. Today was an exception. It was Sunday, and aside from Nancy and Gwen telling Karen ahead of time that they needed to study, Mike also had the campaign Will mentioned to Gwen he’d been working on. 

When Will arrived with Lucas and Dustin he asked if Gwen was going to play with them but all the books he saw spiraled in front of her gave him the answer he needed so he quietly said he’d say goodbye before he left later. 

That had been about ten hours ago. That’s how long they’d been playing but that’s basically how long Gwen had been studying with a few breaks in between. The longest break was when she ate her dinner rather quickly.   

Gwen groaned, her forehead laid on top of her Chemistry book. All the formulas were starting to look the same now. She decided that she was done with studying. She lifted her forehead to close her textbook and got up to brush her teeth. On the way to the bathroom she bumped into Dustin in the hallway holding a pizza box. Gwen wasn’t puzzled by that knowing that the boys ordered pizza for dinner. She was more puzzled about Dustin’s sad eyes.  

“Hey, Dustin.” Gwen greeted him. “Are you guys finally done for the night?” If they weren’t surely they would soon. It was a school night and Gwen didn’t think her aunt would allow them to continue playing when it was almost ten. 

“Yeah.” Dustin gestured to the pizza box, a little solemn. “You want the last slice of pizza? Nancy didn’t want it.”

Gwen furrowed her eyebrows. “She said no to pizza?” 

“She shut the door in my face.” Dustin grumbled. 

Ah, that explained his sad eyes. Nancy doing that certainly wasn’t nice but Gwen decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. “She’s probably stressed. I know I am. There’s a Chemistry test this week we’ve been studying for.”

“Nah, she didn’t look stressed and she wasn’t studying.” Dustin was quick to say. “She was on the phone blabbing about Steve Harrington.”

Gwen’s mood soured a bit at the mention of Steve, even indirectly, being the cause of Dustin feeling sad. “Oh.” She mumbled before reaching for the pizza box. Even though she was about to brush her teeth she thought that maybe someone accepting the last slice would make Dustin feel better. Plus, it was a free slice of pizza. “I’ll eat the last slice then. Can’t let it go to waste.” She said before taking a bite of the sausage and pepperoni pizza.“Thanks Dustin.” 

Dustin looked at Gwen as she ate the pizza. He noticed The Doors t-shirt she was wearing and her slightly ripped jeans. She was smiling as she ate. This was the reaction Dustin expected from Nancy but didn’t get. 

Unlike Nancy who’d given him the cold shoulder, Gwen was friendly. Despite the rough start with Gwen yelling at him and the others, and after her apology, Dustin thought Gwen was alright but he was suddenly seeing Gwen in a whole different light now. He nodded his head. “You know Gwen, you’re cool.” 

Gwen hadn’t been expecting that. She swallowed the piece of pizza she had in her mouth.“Um, thanks Dustin.” She replied, sort of unsure. It wasn’t often she was called that. Usually people around her own age called her loud, annoying, and a loser. 

Henry Bowers in particular would call her awful names. Gwen used to think being called a loser was an insult but after what she went through with the Losers club, she now thought being called a loser was the highest of compliments. 

“Nancy used to be cool like you but she’s changed. Does high school do that to a person? If it does, I hope you don’t change in the process.” Dustin frowned. “I hope I don’t change when I start high school.”

Gwen tried being reassuring. “Don’t worry I’m still me.” She patted his shoulder with her free hand. “And I’m sure you won’t change either Dustin.”

“Let’s hope not.” Dustin muttered. 

“Hey.” Will voice’s caught their attention. He was at the top step of the stairs. He smiled seeing his friends. “I was about to say bye, we're all leaving now.”

Gwen took one last bite of her pizza, leaving the crust. Usually she ate the crust but since Will and the others were leaving she decided to skip the crust this time. “I’ll walk you guys out.” She said in between chews, not caring how unladylike she appeared. As they walked down the stairs she took the pizza box from Dustin to put in the recycle bin the Wheelers had and the crust in the trash can. 

She met with the party outside who, except for Mike, were grabbing their bikes. The teen made it just in time to hear Dustin complain to Mike. 

“There’s something wrong with your sister.” 

Mike frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Dustin gestured to Gwen who was standing next to Mike now. “I was telling Gwen how cool she used to be but now it’s like she has a stick up her butt.”

Will kept quiet about it but Lucas eagerly joined the conversation, wanting to express his own annoyance. “Yeah, it’s because she’s been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington. Why do girls go for guys like that?” He moved his gaze over to Gwen who was quick to notice.

Gwen scoffed out of amusement. “Hey don’t look at me. I don’t like douchebags. Especially not ones who go by Steve "The Hair" Harrington.” She made puking sounds. She took joy in hearing them laugh. Even Mike managed to crack a small smile, not that she noticed since he was good at hiding it.  

“Well it's a good thing you’re not into douchebags because Nancy’s turning into a real jerk.” Dustin said after his laughter calmed down. “It would be a crime if the same thing were to happen to you.”

“But Nancy’s always been a jerk.” Mike proclaimed. So that may have not been entirely true, but it had been such a long time since Nancy and him got along and did anything fun together. So it was easier to see her as a mean older sibling. He wondered if Gwen and her younger brother Richie were like them, always bickering. Probably not based on how happy Gwen was whenever she spoke with Richie. 

Dustin shook his head as he got on his bike. “Nuh-uh, she used to be cool. Like the time she dressed up as an elf for our Elder tree campaign.” The lights he had on his bike turned on. Lucas and Will's lights on their bikes turned on as well. 

“Nancy dressed up as an elf?” Gwen was genuinely shocked to hear that. She couldn’t picture Nancy like that. She didn’t even know Nancy had participated in Dungeons & Dragons.  

“Yes, but that was four years ago.” Mike answered, disgruntled. 

“Just saying she wasn’t always this mean.” Dustin then pedaled forward, leaving the Wheelers. He glanced over his shoulder. “At least Gwen’s not like that. Night!”

“Later!” Lucas shouted to Mike and Gwen as he took off. Gwen said goodnight to them and then looked at Will who was still there with Mike and her. 

“It was a seven.” Will admitted quietly, shyly looking at Mike. 

Mike, having not heard him, tilted his head. “Huh?”

“The role.” Will elaborated and Gwen now understood he was talking about Dungeons & Dragons. “The role, it was a seven. The Demogorgon…it got me.”

Gwen suddenly shivered. 

Pushing aside his shyness, Will smiled. “Well see you tomorrow.” Will said to Mike before looking at Gwen. “Bye Gwen.”

Gwen's mouth felt dry when she spoke. “Catch you on the flip side Will.” Her voice was so low she might as well not have said anything at all.

Will then took off to catch up with Lucas and Dustin.  

The lights from outside above Gwen and Mike flickered. Gwen kept her eyes on Will before the darkness of the empty street made it impossible for her to see him. Even then Gwen hadn’t looked away. She felt a drop in her stomach, suddenly feeling really cold despite the dark green jacket she had on. 

“Gwen?”

Mike frowned, a little annoyed that his cousin didn’t answer him. His annoyance didn’t stay after he walked over to turn off the lights. He thought Gwen would finally say something once she was in the dark but she remained silent and still. 

“Hey Gwen.” Mike’s voice softened, walking closer to her. The lights were on again now that he was starting to feel uneasy. Her distant expression wasn’t helping, so he gently shook her arm. “Are you okay?” Gwen finally looked away from the dark street. She blinked a few times, shifting her gaze onto Mike. 

“What?”

“I said, are you okay?” Mike asked, feeling concern for his cousin. She was just standing there with a faraway look on her face. It was spooky as much as it was concerning. He didn’t even think she noticed she had been in the dark for a bit. The flickering lights were weird but once turning them off it left them in the dark and Gwen had yet to move. “You’re just standing there. Aren't you coming back inside?”

“Yeah, I am. I mean…I’m okay.” Gwen still felt so off but Mike sounding worried about her made her gain enough composure. She briefly looked at the dark empty street, thinking of Will. Gwen shook her head and turned to follow Mike inside. She almost laughed at herself. 

Gwen thought maybe the sudden bad feeling she got could be because of how stressed out she was. There was no other reason for Gwen to feel the same way she did like in Derry. She had felt that way because of IT but the evil entity was gone. And anyway, she was in Hawkins now. A different town in a different state. 

Although she told herself this, the sinking feeling didn’t go away. Not even when Gwen went to sleep, if she could call that sleep. The eeriness stayed with her and it made her feel like something really terrible was going to happen. 

Chapter Text

"Sorrow spares no one, and scars respect no person." ― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Infamous

The feeling of something terrible was going to happen stayed with Gwen all throughout the night and the following morning. The teen didn’t get much sleep, but that wasn’t weird given the regular nightmares she had. 

What was weird, and what made her have great concern, was that the nightmare she had. Unlike her usual nightmares about IT, this nightmare was completely different. 

There was actually no IT this time in her nightmare. Neither in ITs Pennywise clown form or even deceivingly handsome human form. The only thing that was the same about this nightmare was how terrified she felt. 

Absolute dread pumped in her veins. 

In the nightmare Gwen was in a dark place that looked like the woods. The only thing she could see was what she thought was snow at first only to realize it wasn’t. 

Then Gwen heard a voice she recognized. It sounded distant but the voice belonged to someone she never wanted to hear so scared in her life. 

Will.   

He was calling for help and Gwen, in her nightmare, thinking it was real, called out to him. She kept doing so as she navigated through the darkness until she was closer to his voice. Gwen stopped calling his name when she heard a low ticking. It could barely be heard, and she didn't think much about it because of the loud growl that caught her attention instead.  

And then Gwen’s surroundings disappeared as if they were simply made out of fog. 

Instead of waking up screaming, Gwen woke up sweaty yet somehow cold. Not even a minute passed after waking up that a headache started to form. A horrible headache that was still there when she got up for breakfast. 

Gwen had no idea why she would have a nightmare about Will calling out for help. He’d never been in danger before, so why have a nightmare about it? Thinking reasons why made her want to curl up in a ball and weep. 

So she stubbornly told herself that Will was fine. He left the Wheeler house with Lucas and Dustin. That gave her some comfort. 

However there was no saving the day for Gwen. The day barely started but it was already ruined for her. 

Not even wearing her Metallica t-shirt lifted her spirits. 

When Gwen joined the others for breakfast her weary appearance was immediately noticed by Nancy and Mike. However it was Mike who pointed it out with a frown. 

“Gwen, you look terrible.” 

Mike actually wasn’t trying to be rude to his cousin, he was just being honest. Gwen did look terrible and he wondered why that was. Did this have to do with her night terrors? She didn’t wake up screaming, so he thought she had actually gotten a good night's rest. Apparently he’d been wrong.

If it wasn’t for the uneasiness that was building up inside, Gwen would've noticed the puzzlement and concern in Mike’s voice.

“I feel terrible.” Gwen huffed, rubbing her eyes. The aspirin she took did help with her headache but not enough for it to fully go away. She hoped eating something would get rid of it for good. 

Nancy thought Mike was being rude with what he said. So she kicked her younger brother from under the table. Mike glared at her and was about to kick her back when their mother made her way over to Gwen. She set down a plate of food for Gwen. 

Holly tilted her head, staring at Gwen with blinking eyes. “Gwen not happy today?” 

Gwen tried smiling at her three year old cousin. Despite her crappy mood, Gwen’s smile wasn’t bleak as the past smiles she’d given her. “Just tired Holly.”

“You do look a little peaked.” Karen noted softly. Between the two adults she was the most concerned. Ted’s focus was on the newspaper he was reading. 

Gwen kept still as her aunt felt her forehead. The older woman was at least relieved that Gwen didn’t have a fever. She sighed, lowering her hand.

“You girls should take it easy on the studying.” Karen lightly reprimanded, looking at her daughter and niece. “I get that it’s an important test but so much stress isn’t good for you.” 

Karen didn't check on Gwen in the middle of the night because she hadn’t woken up screaming. She figured the reason why Gwen looked so drained was because of the nonstop studying she’d been doing. 

The older woman recalled how she got during school whenever there was an important test. Her daughter Nancy was just as determined to get a good grade, and it appeared Gwen was trying to be the same way. 

Karen had been informed by her sister Maggie about Gwen’s ADHD. Maggie told her how it made Gwen rowdy during school and out. Now Gwen had only been in Hawkins for a short time, but Karen had yet to see her niece as the unruly person her mother described her to be. 

All Karen Wheeler saw was a teenage girl with a lot of stress on her shoulders. 

“After we take the test we won’t have to worry anymore.” Nancy told her mom with a small smile. 

“Until the next one.” Gwen muttered. Her aunt and older cousin looked at her. She quickly stuffed her mouth with eggs so even if they asked a question she wouldn’t be able to answer.  

Breakfast went on peacefully after that with the only disruption being from Mike bothering Nancy, and only Nancy since Gwen was already in a bad mood. When his mother got up to answer the ringing phone with Holly in her arms, Mike poured syrup on Nancy’s eggs. 

“What the hell, Mike?!” Nancy shouted. 

Mike laughed. For a second there he thought he saw Gwen’s lips twitch but it happened so fast he must have imagined it. His father gave him a halfhearted warning, not at all fazing him. His mother’s warning that she gave over her shoulder, even while on the phone, made him stop laughing. Although he did keep a smile on his face. 

Karen had yet to return to the table when Gwen finished eating. She got up ready to leave but was somewhat surprised that Nancy got up as well.

Nancy and her didn’t always walk to school together. Not since her first day at Hawkins High. Sometimes Gwen walked alone, taking her time. Except Gwen had a feeling even if she told Nancy she wanted to be alone she wouldn’t leave her side. 

At least not until they arrived at school. So Gwen left with Nancy. The Tozier girl wasn’t there when Mike asked his mother about who called.  

Gwen really wanted to enjoy whatever peace she could get by listening to music on her Walkman on the way to school. The Blue Oyster Cult cassette she owned was in her Walkman from the last time she used it. She had been listening to Fire Of Unknown Origin before she set aside her Walkman to study.

Now as much as she loved listening to Blue Oyster Cult, it was still bittersweet because the band now reminded her of Victor Criss. 

The Tozier girl recalled the conversation she had with Victor after her performance at the fourth of July festival back in Derry. It had surprisingly been a decent conversation, and afterwards Gwen began looking at Victor in a different way, a better way. 

But whatever possibility of a friendship between the two teens was now gone thanks to Henry Bowers. Victor Criss’ death was yet another tragedy in Gwen Tozier’s life. One she had seen with her very own eyes. 

Although listening to Blue Oyster Cult overwhelmed Gwen, on this particular day she didn’t have to fret about it since Nancy kept trying to talk to her as they walked to school.  

The Tozier girl responded but only because not saying anything would have been mean. Despite her cousin dating Steve Harrington, Gwen didn’t want to be mean to her. Nancy’s boyfriend was an ass but she wasn’t. 

Gwen, however, was in a shitty mood because of her nightmare and because of the disquietude that wouldn’t leave her. So although it wasn’t a one-sided conversation, her replies to Nancy were short, and perhaps a tad bit too sharp. 

Her cousin frowning was noticed by Gwen after a particular response as they entered the school. It made Gwen cringe and she felt even worse. She was about to apologize to Nancy when Barb came up to them. Nancy’s expression brightened with a smile as she looked at her redheaded friend. 

Barb immediately started asking about Steve and the phone call Nancy and him had last night. Gwen inwardly groaned, and her annoyance for the Harrington boy was made perfectly clear on her face.  

The annoyance she felt simmered down. This was once again a normal conversation between Nancy and Barb. They were best friends, and best friends talked about all sorts of stuff, like boys. 

Gwen thought of her friend Francine from Derry before happy memories with Beverly took over. If Beverly had been at Hawkins with Gwen she would have laughed hearing her complain about Steve Harrington. While other girls talked about how cute guys were, Beverly and Gwen would talk more about how annoying they were. That was their version of a best friend talk. 

Thankfully there was an opening for Gwen to stop hearing Nancy talk about Steve when a familiar person came across her line of vision. 

“Hey Robin!” 

Gwen was ecstatic to see the freckled dirty blonde teen. As much as she could be at the moment anyway. She excused herself from Nancy and Barb, not missing the questioning looks her cousin and friend gave her. The sixteen year old simply said another goodbye to them before practically running toward Robin. 

Gwen looped her arm with Robin’s, not sensing how tense she got for a moment there. “Sorry about the ambush.” She began telling her as they walked together. “It’s just that Nancy was gushing about Steve to Barb and I didn’t want to hear it.”

Robin took a deep breath, trying to steady her heartbeat. “I gotcha.” She managed to let out a chuckle or two. “Who wants to hear about Steve "The Hair" Harrington so early in the morning.”

“Exactly!” Gwen exclaimed, her arm still looped around Robin’s. “So how about I walk you to your class? You can tell me about your weekend.” The bad feeling in her stomach remained but there was definitely less tension in her shoulders. 

Robin glanced at their looped arms, willing to stop her cheeks from turning pink. “Sure.” She answered a little too loud, making her cringe on the inside. Gwen’s smile appeared worn out but it was almost enough to break Robin’s resolve.

Gwen hadn’t been able to locate Jonathan. She hadn’t thought much of it when she arrived at school in the morning because usually she’d see him during the passing period. Now it was their ten minute break and she hadn’t found him yet. She checked their usual places where they hung out but Jonathan wasn’t outside the school or inside the library. 

The Tozier girl checked several other places before she headed to the cafeteria. She doubted he’d be there given how much he disliked it and she knew he wouldn’t be there without her. Gwen decided to check anyway. 

During the break the cafeteria was filled with students eating their snacks and chatting. 

Gwen's eyes wandered around, hoping to see Jonathan. To her disappointment he wasn’t there. She was suddenly startled from having someone step on her foot. Her reaction was subtle aside from the low gasp she made. Gwen thought maybe it was an accident but that went out the window once she saw who it was. 

“Watch it.” Carol threw her a nasty look as she walked past. 

“It’s like she’s blind.” The other girl who was with Carol said. She was a redhead, and it made Gwen feel anger that she shared the same hair color as Beverly and Barb. 

“No Nicole, I think she’s just stupid.” Carol remarked. The two girls laughed as they walked further away, Carol aggravating Gwen the most given the history they already had. 

Usually Gwen wouldn’t have let an insult like that get to her but the teen was already in a terrible mood. Her dark brown eyes caught sight of Eddie Munson having a lively conversation with guys who she assumed were his friends. 

The metal lunch box he brought to their drug deal was there, and next to it was a half eaten sandwich. It looked lumpy so Gwen figured it must have been a peanut butter sandwich. If she was lucky it also had jelly. 

Gwen’s annoyed face was then replaced with a mischievous smile. Carol and her friend Nicole had left their stuff at a table, and were currently talking to a group of girls. They were far off that Gwen wouldn’t be noticed by them with what she planned to do. She held her head up high as she walked over to Eddie.

“Hey Eddie.” Gwen greeted him. 

Eddie stopped what he was saying to his friends to look at Gwen. “Gwen, a pleasure to see you again.” His grin widened when he saw the Metallica t-shirt she was wearing. “Nice t-shirt.” 

The metalhead didn’t fail to notice his friends gawking at Gwen. It wasn’t often that pretty girls, or any girls really, approached them. Even though Gwen looked exhausted there was no denying she was pretty. Like really pretty. 

Gwen was too focused on her mission to notice the gawking teenage boys. “Thanks. So are you going to finish that?” She pointed to his sandwich. 

“I was going to save the rest for lunch.” Eddie furrowed his eyebrows. “Why?”

Gwen quickly opened her backpack. “I’ll trade you.” She pulled out her wrapped lunch. “It’s a turkey sub.”

Eddie could imagine question marks over his head. “You want to trade your delicious turkey sub for this half-ass eaten PB&J? You know this bread is stale.”

Gwen was beyond glad to hear it was indeed a PB&J sandwich. “Don’t worry. I won’t be eating it.”

Eddie imagined even more question marks surrounding him. She wasn’t going to eat the sandwich? Then why make the trade in the first place? Eddie leaned forward a bit toward her. His voice lowered as if they were exchanging secrets. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Yeah.” Gwen nodded her head. “Offer going once, going twice…” She sang, somewhat playful and it was enough for Eddie to finally agree. 

The metalhead was still so confused but he decided to do the trade. He was getting a better lunch out of it. “Alright if that’s what you want.” Eddie passed the PB&J sandwich to her as she gave him the wrapped turkey sub. 

Gwen then walked in the direction of where Carol and her friend had placed their items at a lunch table. The two girls were still away in midcoversation.  

“What the hell is she doing?” Gareth, a Freshman who started this year, questioned. Not only was he a friend but also a bandmate of Eddie’s. He and the others watched as Gwen pulled apart the PB&J sandwich. Their eyes widening as Gwen smeared the peanut butter and jelly on the seats.  

When Gwen finished smearing the PB&J on the seats she threw the pieces of bread away, throwing a discreet wink at Eddie and his friends. Eddie was already giddy because he knew what to expect now. And so did the rest of his friends.

It didn't take long for Carol and her red haired friend to walk back to their table. What happened next was hilarious and Eddie Munson was so happy he’d been there to witness it. 

The two teenage girls screeched, with Carol’s being the loudest. At first there was confusion with the rest of the students in the cafeteria, minus Eddie and his friends. But then when Carol and her stood up to show what they had sat on, laughs were soon heard. 

Eddie’s laugh was the loudest. He laughed so hard that he fell to the floor clutching his stomach. The metalhead tried making eye contact with Gwen after he got back up but by then she had already made her exit from the cafeteria.  

He had to wipe his eyes from how watery they got from the laughing fit he just had. He certainly was going to bring this up the next time he had the luck of talking to Gwen again. 

“Eddie, how do you know her?” His other friend and bandmate Jeff asked. He was a Sophomore like Gwen. Jeff actually shared World History with Gwen but he’d never spoken to her. Unlike Eddie who apparently did.

“Gwen?” Eddie responded as if he didn’t know who Jeff was talking about. His eyes, although not watery, were bright. “Me and her are buddies.”  

Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration since he’d only talked to Gwen a total of two times now, including today. However it didn’t feel wrong for Eddie to say they were buddies. After what he saw her do to Carol and her friend, Eddie gladly thought of Gwen as more than just a stranger. 

The shocked reactions from his friends and bandmates after telling them how he knew this badass girl made Eddie grin.

Gwen left the cafeteria with a smile on her face. She was filled with a lot of exhilaration and was left feeling satisfied. This was exactly how she felt when she sprayed soda on Greta Keene after learning that she’d been a total bitch to her friend Eddie Kaspbrak back in Derry.  

Gwen’s momentary triumph over Carol and her friend Nicole almost made her forget about the bad feeling that lingered within her. She didn’t stick around much after hearing Carol’s screech from sitting on peanut butter and jelly.  

As much as she wanted to stay and flip off Carol, Gwen didn’t want the risk of being caught. She was lucky that no one, aside from Eddie and his friends, had seen her smear the peanut butter and Jelly. She doubted they would rat her out if questioned about it. So Gwen would have other opportunities to flip Carol off. 

Due to her momentary jubilation, Gwen wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings. So she was taken by surprise when she headed straight into somebody. 

“Woah!” 

Gwen knew who it was even before looking at them. 

Gwen had bumped into Steve Harrington, who was miraculously on his own. They both would have lost balance had Steve not put his hands on her shoulders to steady them. She instantly felt panic.  

Even with her t-shirt and jacket, Gwen still felt Steve’s hand directly on top of where IT had bitten her. Whatever joy was there had vanished. She immediately backed away from Steve. Yellow eyes and sharp teeth flashed in Gwen’s mind. In Gwen’s panic she looked at Steve as if he’d done something awful to her. 

Steve frowned, not understanding this kind of hostility coming from her. “Relax, you look at me as if I have cooties or something.”

Gwen took a deep breath. The scar on her right shoulder felt as if it were burning her because all she could think about was the horrors IT put her through. 

“Don’t touch me.” Gwen seethed. 

Steve’s eyes widened slightly at her harsh tone. He was able to compose himself and hid his shock with a light scoff. “You’re the one who bumped into me.”

Gwen went silent, taking another step away from him. There was a look of uneasiness in her dark brown eyes much to Steve’s confusion and concern. Gwen gave him a grim look and walked away before Steve was able to say anything else. 

Steve watched her go, shaking his head. He had every right to be upset with Gwen because of her attitude, and he was but why did he also feel upset with himself? Steve huffed, wondering how he yet again had an unpleasant encounter with Gwen Tozier. They haven’t had a single good encounter since they met and he was beginning to believe they never would. 

Gwen rushed to the nearest bathroom after her bump in with Steve. She was a nervous wreck by the time she entered the bathroom stall. At the very least the girls bathroom was empty so no one heard her trying to contain her tears. 

This whole freak out wasn’t even about Steve. Sure, him unknowingly touching the bite mark on her shoulder over her clothes made her react somewhat hysterically. But really it had more to do with Gwen remembering what IT did to her in the sewers that made her panic. 

Steve wasn’t her favorite person, but as she huddled in the bathroom stall, arms wrapped around herself, Gwen realized she must have looked odd to him. If he didn’t already think she was weird, he sure did now. 

Not that it really mattered to Gwen. She didn’t care what Steve Harrington thought about her. She was more worried that he might say something about this to Nancy. Gwen supposed she would find out later if Steve said anything to her cousin about their encounter. 

Gwen stayed in the girls bathroom for the remainder of the ten minute break. She didn’t want to go to her next class because she didn’t feel ready to face the outside world. Gwen was so close to ditching class to go smoke under the bleachers. But her next class was P.E. and Robin was in that class. 

Knowing she would see Robin again is what made Gwen come out of the girls bathroom. The Tozier girl tried putting on a strong face once in the hallway. It was crowded with students going to their next class. As she was making her way to the gym she came across Jonathan. Even after losing composure with Steve, and almost crying in the girls bathroom, Gwen was able to feel content from Jonathan’s presence. She’d been trying to find him after all. 

Gwen kept her strong persona because she didn’t want Jonathan asking what was wrong. So as she walked up to him she made herself smile, and spoke in a voice that made her sound eager to tell him about what happened in the cafeteria…before her bump in with Steve. 

“Jonathan you won’t believe what I did to Carol―” Gwen stopped talking when she got a better glimpse of Jonathan’s face. Now that she was closer to him she could see his distress and worry started to eat away at her.  

Not that far away from them was the Chief of Police, Jim Hopper and another fellow officer. They were talking to the school principal while glancing at her and Jonathan’s way. Gwen gulped, the upset feeling in her stomach worsening.  

“Jonathan, what's wrong?” Gwen asked in a low voice. She was super anxious about what Jonathan was going to say, and she wasn’t at all prepared. 

Jonathan's eyes were teary. “Will didn’t come home last night.” His voice shook. What came out of his mouth next made Gwen think about the horrors she went through in Derry. She wanted to go back into the bathroom stall and cry her eyes out.  

“Gwen, I think he’s missing.”