Chapter Text
“You still haven’t sent it, have you, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa sat up in his bed and peered over at Iwaizumi, who was sitting in one of his beanbag chairs frowning over his phone.
Iwaizumi just rolled his eyes and reddened. “Shut up, Shittykawa,” he retorted bashfully. He threw his phone to the floor, curling up on himself and crossing his arms with a huff. “Forget it, this is stupid. I just won’t tell him.”
“You really do worry too much,” Oikawa scoffed. “Akaashi-kun said yes to your confession at the match, didn’t he? He could’ve very well said no if he couldn’t stand you.”
“I mean, I guess, but that was before… y’know.”
Akaashi and Iwaizumi had been talking for a while since they met at a training camp last summer. Iwaizumi had noticeably changed in the days that followed; contrary to the harrowing story teased by the dark circles that formed under the ace’s eyes, the fact that he’d started smiling more and talked about Akaashi as something other than an idiot was impossible to miss. It was so clear to Oikawa and everyone close to Iwaizumi that he liked Akaashi, but fear was holding him back from saying so. It was due to Oikawa that Iwaizumi finally got the nerve to confess at all, and it was no surprise when Akaashi smiled and admitted that he felt the same. Oikawa knew he would. It just felt like fate.
Despite the beauty that had been done in that moment, though, time had only allowed Iwaizumi to confess his feelings for Akaashi before he and his teammates had to leave Fukurodani’s court. He hadn’t gotten to come out to him as transgender, even though he’d very much intended to.
Now that he was in this situation - relaying this confession through text, of all things - he was having second thoughts about coming out. He had to delude himself and Oikawa that it was better if he kept it to himself. He was fine. Akaashi didn’t need to know. He’d- it’d be bad, and it’d confuse Akaashi, and he wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore, much less his boyfriend. He felt the panic coming on. Why couldn’t he have told Akaashi sooner, when they were just friends and the stakes were lower? Why couldn’t he be sure that his boyfriend would embrace him for him?
Or, his most pressing question: why couldn’t he just have been born a boy?
He knew he was one, and that was that, but the possibility that Akaashi wouldn’t accept that just bore too heavily on his mind for his liking. Not that he thought Akaashi would condemn him for his identity, but you never knew for sure until you asked.
“Iwa-chan, I’m not going to force you to come out to Akaashi-kun,” Oikawa quipped. He knew every movement and quirk of his best friend’s body, and he wasn’t just going to let him languish in indecision. “You said you wanted to tell him, didn’t you?”
“I mean, yeah. I do. I really do. It’s just different texting him instead of saying it out loud, I guess.” Iwaizumi shrugged. He brought his legs up to his chest and rested his chin against his knees. “I just don’t want things to change too much. What if he thinks I’m a fake-ass freak, and everything goes to shit? I really like him, y’know?” His eyes were starting to sting with the threat of tears as he spoke.
“Fuck what he thinks,” Oikawa said, earning a teary scowl from Iwaizumi. “I mean it! You’re kind of a freak, but only in the way that people who like Godzilla-kun are, and nothing else. If he doesn’t accept you, he’ll get an earful from me and Kou-chan both.”
Iwaizumi looked down and listened silently, mulling the words over in his mind.
“And if he has a problem with you, he’s just a stupid second-year brat who passed up my wonderful Iwa-chan,” Oikawa continued, nudging his best friend with a slight smile. “There are lots of other people who do support you. Like me, just for example.”
“Whatever,” Iwaizumi mumbled. That was his way of acknowledging that Oikawa was right when he didn’t want to say it directly.
A moment of thick, awkward silence went by, broken by a sigh.
Fuck it.
“Okay, I’ll do it. Just... you hit send.”
Oikawa nodded. “Alright. Give me your phone.”
With a huff, Iwaizumi reached across the floor for his phone before handing it to Oikawa, immediately looking away to hide his now reddened tear-streaked face.
Where he would usually read the text and tease his best friend about it, Oikawa didn’t miss a beat hitting the send button. Just like that, it was out in the ether for Akaashi to read. “Sent,” was all he said as he held the phone back out to him.
Iwaizumi swallowed thickly as he processed what had just happened.
With a single gesture, he’d just handed agency over his whole future with Akaashi over to his best friend, all because he couldn’t deal with the weight of his confession alone. A deluge of negative thoughts was starting to overrun his mind.
This was it. He’d told Akaashi the truth and couldn’t take it back. He could always say it was a prank, but that wouldn’t change the reality of his identity.
“Iwa-chan?”
Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa’s outstretched hand away. “Hold onto it. Just till he replies,” he said quietly, voice trembling. Worst-case scenarios of how Akaashi would react flashing before his eyes were bad enough. There was no way in hell he’d be able to take these horrible figments of his imagination becoming reality.
Oikawa scooted closer to him and put his hand on his shoulder. “Iwa-chan, it’s gonna be okay no matter what.”
“You can’t promise that,” Iwaizumi grumbled.
“I’ll make sure of it,” Oikawa replied firmly.
And thus, sitting together leaning against the wall, Oikawa and Iwaizumi began the waiting game.