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This had to be Megatron’s worst plan yet.
Sure, Starscream thought that every other week or so, but the old fool always managed to outdo himself. He’d really believed that digging towards the core of the Earth for no reason, or deciding that what the Decepticons needed were more cars instead of the clearly superior airplanes they already had in their ranks, or even that one inexplicable griphon, were the lowest his oh so mighty leader could go. Every time, he was proven wrong.
Today’s bright idea involved, of all things, tornadoes. There was a very, very small part of Starscream that considered pointing out that standing in the middle of nowhere and waiting for a tornado to hit them was maybe not a great idea. The rest of him decided not to bother. No one would listen to him, anyway, and at least it would be fun to watch. He just needed an excuse to be at a safe distance when it happened.
Even that slight problem looked like it was going to resolve itself: soon enough, they received a transmission from Laserbeak. A group of Autobots was approaching fast.
“Well, let them come,” Starscream said. Everyone turned to look at him, but he just shrugged. “What? It makes sense! We get them here, they’re stuck right in the path of a tornado, and then we get out of the way.”
Megatron gave him a long, suspicious look, but at least he seemed to be considering it.
“This better not be a trap, Starscream,” he said at last.
“It’s a trap for the Autobots.”
They glared at each other for a few moments. Then Megatron finally saw reason.
“Fine. But if this goes wrong, I’m blaming you.”
Nothing new there, Starscream thought, but he managed to control himself and not say it aloud.
“We just need to make sure they get actually stuck,” he said instead. Then he remembered something - another dumb plan, one they had discarded a while ago. But perhaps it could be reworked. “Do we still have that prototype for enhanced superglue?”
* * *
The Autobots drove right into the trap like the fools they were. Apparently they didn’t think it was weird that the Decepticons let them reach their base camp without trying to defend it. They were standing right where they should: on top of a whole lot of transparent superglue that they hadn’t even noticed was there. Now all Megatron had to do was keep them there long enough for the glue to solidify. Even he should be able not to ruin that, Starscream thought. Rambling endlessly was one of the few things he did well, and Prime was a good match for him.
As expected, they started with their usual bickering as soon as the Autobots transformed into their robot mode.
“You won’t get away with this, Megatron!”
“Fool! Do you think you can stop us now? Our plan is already in motion!”
“Your plan is nonsense. Even you can’t control the weather,” Prime said. It was always weird when Starscream agreed with him, really. “This tornado is stronger than you!”
“But I will harness its power! All that energy will be mine—”
Starscream stopped paying attention to the speech. It was just a variation on the same old themes, and he had just realized something far more interesting. Megatron had become very invested in his own theatrics, as usual, and all of his menacing poses were getting him closer and closer to the sector that was covered in glue.
It would be so easy. Just the tiniest push…
But all the other Decepticons were watching, and if any of them decided to warn Megatron, Starscream was toast. There had to be a better way to do this. In fact, something came to mind right away. It was a bit silly, but— well. He was surrounded by idiots. It was worth a try. And he had to do it now, before the superglue finished drying.
“Look!” he yelled, pointing in a random direction. “The tornado is almost here!”
Everybody looked. Everybody: even Prime, even Megatron himself, who really should have known better. Starscream didn’t wait a second to kick him in the back and send him stumbling into the pool of rapidly solidifying glue.
“Ha! Megatron has f—”
Megatron, as it turned out, still had one his arms free. He grabbed Starscream’s leg and pulled him to the ground.
“You’re coming down with me, you traitor!”
By then, even the dumbest of the Autobots had realized that this was a trap. But it was too late. The glue was almost dry, and they struggled in vain to walk out of it.
“Megatron!” Prime said. “What kind of evil plan is this?”
“A really stupid one!” Starscream shouted. All he could do now was stare at the sky and complain, so he was at least going to be loud about it.
“The superglue was your idea!” Megatron snapped back, which was completely uncalled for.
“Uh, guys?” someone interrupted - Wheeljack’s voice, he realized. “Hate to bring more bad news, but that tornado is getting here for real now.”
“Well, what are you all waiting for? Get us out!” Megatron ordered.
Nobody replied. After a very awkward moment of silence, it was Starscream who spoke again.
“They’re all gone already, aren’t they.”
“Yes,” said Prime. He’d dropped the heroic leader tone and had his resigned voice on, now. “Your team has abandoned you, Megatron. It’s only us left.”
“This is all your fault, Starscream! When we get out of this—”
“If we get out of this,” Starscream said helpfully.
“Oh, we will,” said Wheeljack, sounding far more cheerful than the situation merited. “I’ve been waiting for a chance to try my new heat gun. Let’s see how fast it can melt this!”
It was a long shot, but it was also the only idea they had, so nobody stopped him. Starscream couldn’t see what was going on from his position, but given the buzz of the gun and the smell of hot glue, he had to assume it was working. Soon enough, there were a few cheers from the unstuck Autobots.
They left him and Megatron for last, as expected. But at least this was going fast enough that they might still avoid the tornado, if they hurried…
“Don’t make us regret this,” Prime said as Wheeljack started pointing the gun at the glue around Megatron. Starscream wasn’t worried, though. The Autobots were too honorable and too dumb to leave them there, even if they were enemies.
After what felt like an eternity, Megatron was also set free. Starscream dearly hoped he’d take the chance to leave on his own, but he wasn’t that lucky. It looked like Megatron was spiteful enough to risk getting hit by a tornado rather than give Starscream an opportunity to get away.
Except he didn’t even wait that long, after all. Once the glue started showing signs of being soft enough, Megatron just grabbed Starscream’s arm and pulled him out. The fact that there was still a whole lot of superglue stuck to his wings did not concern him.
“What are you doing? Now I can’t transform!”
“Perfect,” Megatron said, and picked him up like he was a sack of potatoes. “This isn’t over, Prime. We’ll meet again!”
And with that ominous promise that he made all the time, Megatron took off and finally made sure to get away from the tornado’s path. Below them, the Autobots also drove away. This whole day had been a complete wash after all.
“Don’t think you’re out of trouble, either,” Megatron said, as if he could read his thoughts.
But Starscream still wasn’t worried. He knew he could get away from consequences. All he needed was a good plan…