Work Text:
“Once again, I just want to thank you all for attending this crew meeting,” Stede said to the group of pirates that had assembled in the ship’s galley, “I know I’ve been rather secretive about why I have asked you all to come, but we’re dealing with a rather sensitive topic and discretion is of the utmost importance.”
The Swede raised his hand before asking the captain, “Are we planning a surprise party?”
“Unfortunately, no,” Stede said, “However, that is a wonderful idea and we can keep that in mind the next time someone’s birthday comes up, okay?”
The Swede nodded happily.
Pete looked around the room and frowned, “Where’s Lucius? Shouldn’t we wait for him?”
“Ah, you see, that’s, erm, the reason we’re having the meeting, Pete,” Stede said gently. “Has anyone else been worried about Lucius recently?”
Almost everyone raised their hands, except for Izzy, who raised his after receiving a sharp elbowing from Ed.
“Oh, good, it’s not just me then,” Stede sighed, “Well, it’s not good. It’s bad, actually.”
The crew murmured in agreement.
“It just seems like, after the rest of us came back, he’s been…” Stede hesitated, trying to find the right words.
“A basket case?” Roach offered.
“That’s a bit blunt, but yes, he’s… high-strung,” Stede agreed.
“Well, yeah, but he’s always been like that, Captain,” Frenchie pointed out, “I mean, no offense, but he’s never been very good at the whole blood ‘n guts thing.”
The crew nodded.
“I know, but he just seems, I don’t know, more anxious than usual,” Stede gestured emphatically.
“Well, I understand why he's acting like that,” Oluwande said. “The whole miscommunication and falling out between you and Ed was kinda traumatizing for him, Captain.”
“It was rough for all of us, yes, yes,” Stede grimaced, “But he seems to be handling it the worst.”
“Well, except for Ed,” Jim chuckled.
“Jim! That’s not the sort of thing we should make jokes about,” Stede chided.
“Nah mate, I deserve that,” Edward piped up, but was ignored.
“I’m just saying, none of the rest of us pushed an innocent man overboard about it,” Jim shrugged.
“Jim!”
“Stede,” Ed said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “It’s okay, they’re right you know. And I don’t blame Lucius for being a little fucked up in the head-”
“Edward!” Stede admonished.
“-I mean, he was crawling around like a little rat in the walls for almost a month cus he thought I would try to kill him again,” Ed continued.
“The boy lost a lot of weight before you discovered him,” Fang added quietly.
“Oh yeah, he looked fucking awful,” Ed nodded. “I think that’s why I believed you when you said he’d just been sick the whole time.”
“Look, I don’t know what you were feeding him while I was gone,” Roach interjected, “But it’s completely wrecked his appetite. I can barely get him to eat now.”
“Captain’s right, the lad’s head ain’t been right since we reunited,” Buttons said, hands clasped behind his back, “The other night when I was on watch he crawled out from some hidden nook and startled me something fierce. Thought he was an apparition.”
“Yeah, it’s fucking scary when the little bugger pops up outta nowhere,” Wee John agreed. “You don’t even hear him coming ‘cus he’s so quiet.”
Pete cleared his throat, staring down at his lap. “The nightmares are really bad… he doesn’t want to sleep- sleep with me anymore cus he doesn’t want to keep me up.”
“See, this is exactly what I am talking about!” Stede said brightly, “We’re all worried about Lucius, so what should we do about it?”
The crew stared at him.
Stede stared back at them. “Okay, let me ask you this: have any of you talked to him about what’s been going on?”
“Fuck’s sake, there’s nothing to talk about,” Izzy grumbled, then ducked out of the way of Ed trying to cuff his ear.
“Uh, can’t believe I’m saying this, but Izzy’s right,” Pete said, “I mean, we all know what’s going on.”
There was a murmur of agreement through the crew.
“Our hombrecito will be fine,” Jim shrugged, “Eventually. I mean, this is like his third near-death experience in the span of a year, of course he’s a little rattled.”
“-And I just think that, perhaps, someone should talk to him about it,” Stede said, trying to project some assertiveness in his voice.
“Oh, that’s a bad idea,” Pete shook his head.
“Yeah, I tried to talk to him about everything while the rest of you were gone,” Fang said. “...we didn’t get very far in that conversation.”
“We have to let him come to us when he’s ready,” Oluwande said, hand rubbing comforting circles on Pete’s back.
“Like a cat!” Frenchie exclaimed. When John shot him a skeptical look, he clarified, “It’s like, with a dog you can just go up to it and if it isn’t growling you can pet it. A cat will run away if you do that because they’re very intelligent, so you have to let it come to you first.”
"But he never talked to any of us the last two times something like this happened," Stede cried out a bit frantically, "I'm really worried he's going to bottle up whatever unsavory feelings he's having and then just- I dunno, explode? Collapse?"
"Correction, he didn't talk to you about the other two near-death experiences he had," Roach pointed out, before gesturing to the rest of the crew. " We talked about it plenty."
"Oh yeah, he was really pissed about the time Jim tried to kill him," John laughed, "He bitched about it for a week."
"Do you know how much he cried after losing his finger?" Buttons asked, "First about losing the finger itself, which I was quite apologetic about and he was gracious enough to forgive me. But then Pete gave him the wooden finger and he cried about that even more."
"In a good way," Fang clarified when Pete looked distressed, "He was very touched, and he didn't want you to worry about him sobbing over it."
"Aww, Lulu…" Pete grinned to himself.
"So odds are, he'll forgive you eventually, Captain Bl- Edward, sir," Oluwande assured him, "Just might take a while since it was a dick move, sir."
"I know," Edward said, "And if he does forgive me it'll be more than I deserve."
"Well, glad we got that all sorted," Izzy said, rising from his seat and stretching. The rest of the crew agreed and started to get up to leave as well.
That was, until they heard Ivan yelling above deck.
"Hey! Lucius, come back!" Ivan called out, "I didn't even get to finish looking at your sketches!"
A moment later, and the door to the galley swung open, revealing the man in question. He turned his head to get a full view of everyone in the room. After a long moment, he cleared his throat. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Uh," Stede turned to look at Ed desperately, who merely shrugged at him.
"We were planning a surprise party for you?" The Swede lied with a self-conscious grin.
~~~
As difficult as it was for him to leave well enough alone, Stede didn't push Lucius to talk about everything he endured while he was gone. Though he hated to admit it, he knew the crew was right: they didn’t really have to. Though he didn’t know all the details, Stede had gotten the gist of everything from Ed, Lucius’ sparse journal entries, and Frenchie. Lucius had gotten the worst of the dread pirate’s wrath (except for, perhaps, Izzy), and making Lucius relive those weeks would only serve to make him retreat further into his shell.
That didn't stop Stede from taking care of him, though.
If anyone implied Stede played favorites on the Revenge, he would insist that every member of the crew brought an invaluable and unique perspective to the ship that couldn’t be quantified or ranked. However, in terms of which crew member Stede got along with best and worried about the most, everyone knew it had always been Lucius, even before his falling out with Ed. Whether it was because of how much time the scribe spent following the captain around, or because he was the first one hired, or because he was the youngest crew member, it was clear that Stede was protective of the boy.
In the beginning, Lucius used to go to Stede. He would slip into the captain’s cabin, take a book from the library, and curl up on the couch to read until Stede came back in and they could talk. Sometimes he did this when he wasn’t feeling well and needed to be away from everyone else for a bit, but usually, it was just to get something off his chest.
As time went on and Lucius developed deeper relationships with the rest of the crew, he visited Stede less often. These days, Lucius wouldn’t tolerate the open fussing he used to engage in, so Stede had to be subtle.
Stede would invite Lucius to his cabin under the guise of dictating a new journal entry when he seemed particularly anxious or tired. In actuality, it was an excuse to get the boy to rest with afternoon tea. Getting Lucius to eat consistently was something Roach complained about, so Stede kept track of what foods he seemed to tolerate. The next time they made port, he gave Roach his list and told him to make sure the pantry was stocked. He saw what made the boy smile and what made him pull away from the rambunctious crew. He remembered which stories he had liked most and read them to the crew at bedtime.
None of this could fix what had happened to Lucius, but it served as a reminder that the crew was back with him and that his captain stilled cared.
~~
Several weeks after his meeting with the crew, a fierce storm blew through the Caribbean. Everyone aboard the Revenge worked in the pelting rain and howling wind to keep her from capsizing. When the worst had passed everyone went their separate ways.
Stede entered the captain’s quarters, stomping his feet and wringing the excess water out of his clothes. "I'll say, that was quite the squall."
"Yeah, fucking awful storm," Ed agreed, following behind Stede. He shook the water out of his long hair, which caused the other man to frown.
"Why don't we find some towels and try to dry off?" Stede offered. "I'll make us some tea to help us warm up."
"Sounds awesome," Ed leaned close to kiss Stede's cheek before heading to the bathroom to get the towels.
Stede filled the kettle and set it in the fireplace to heat up before pulling out dry clothes for them to change into. Ed returned with an armful of towels and they quickly stripped and dried off. Then they changed and Ed walked over to the couch to splay out across it dramatically.
“How do you think the rest of the crew’s holding up?” Stede asked once the kettle had heated up.
“Aw, I’m sure they’re fine,” Ed waved a hand dismissively. “Except maybe Lucius, but Pete’s looking for him now.”
Stede stopped pouring their tea. “Pete’s looking for Lucius?”
“Yeah, he ran below deck once the storm started,” Ed said. “I’m sure he’s fine though, probably got spooked by the waves.”
“That doesn’t sound fine,” Stede grimaced. “Should we help Pete look for him?”
“He’s got Jim and Frenchie and the rest of the crew. If they need our help, they’ll come get us,” Ed promised.
“If you’re sure,” Stede agreed hesitantly. He finished pouring their tea and began adding Ed’s customary 7 sugars and a dollop of milk. He had just finished preparing his own cup when he heard something shuffling in the wall.
Stede stood up straighter and listened closely. At first, The only thing he could hear was the rain pattering against the windows. Then he heard the low rumble of distant thunder followed by someone choking back a sob behind him. He frowned and walked towards the lever that would open his auxiliary wardrobe.
“Be careful, Stede,” Ed warned. He sat up and reached for the knife that usually sat on his hip out of habit.
“It’s alright, Ed, I think I know what’s going on,” Stede assured him. “Lucius, is that you in there?”
“Y-yeah,” Lucius replied after a long moment, voice strained.
“Are you hurt?” Stede stepped closer to the wardrobe’s entrance but didn’t enter yet. “Do you need me to come in there?”
“I’m fine,” Lucius said quietly. “...but you can come in.”
Stede entered and squinted into the darkness before spotting Lucius curled up in the far back corner, close to the hatch that connected to one of the many secret passages on the ship. He was laying on the floor and had wrapped himself in what had once been a rich indigo blanket. Though his back was turned to Stede, it was obvious he was trying not to cry anymore.
“Lucius, it’s alright,” Stede crouched down next to the boy and soothed a hand down his back. “Has the storm upset you, darling?”
Lucius sniffled and nodded timidly.
“I thought so,” Stede said, “It is quite the nasty storm, isn’t it?”
Lucius nodded again, twisting his hands tighter in the tattered fabric of his blanket. “The waves are really big, I couldn’t- I had to get off the deck, and it’s quiet in here…”
“It is, yes, but not terribly comfortable, is it?” Stede asked gently, “Probably doesn’t feel good on your back to be curled up in here, does it?”
Lucius shook his head.
“And it’s quite dark in here,” Stede continued. “And a bit musty, and quite lonely, I imagine.”
“I can’t-” Lucius swallowed, “I can’t sleep with everyone else, though.”
“Now, why is that?” Stede rubbed his back again.
Lucius rubbed at his puffy eyes with the heel of his hand. “Everyone’ll be upset.”
“Oh darling, no one is upset at you,” Stede promised, “We just want you to be okay, you know that.”
“No, you are upset,” Lucius huffed, balling his fist up again. “You’re upset right now, and Pete’s upset a lot too, that’s why we can’t sleep together anymore…”
“I see,” Stede said, slowly understanding what the boy was saying.
“Even Ed and Izzy’re upset about me,” Lucius muttered, wrinkling his nose.
“I suppose we’ve all been upset about you, huh?” Stede sighed and moved so that he was sitting against the wall near Lucius’s head. The boy was looking down at his hands sullenly, blinking back tears. When he nodded, Stede put a hand on his head and began to card through his hair. “But, sweetheart, it’s because we all care about you very much. All we want is for you to be safe and okay, and we’ll be here cheering for you no matter how long that takes.”
“What if I’m never okay?” Lucius choked out, tears streaming down his face.
“We’d all still be here for you,” Stede told him. “And we’d all still love you.”
Lucius sat up just enough to throw himself into Stede’s lap, sobbing into his shoulder. He wrapped both arms around him and rubbed his back, letting the boy cry.
“I still don’t wanna sleep out there,” Lucius admitted once his crying had slowed down to a few intermittent sniffles.
“You don’t have to,” Stede said softly, “The couch is always available for you to sleep on, sweetheart.”
“Will Ed mind?” Lucius whispered.
“No, darling, he won’t mind at all,” Stede assured him, before whispering, “He usually sleeps with me when it storms because he gets scared too. But don’t tell him I told you.”
Lucius drew an X over his chest with a playful smile.
“There’s my Lucius,” Stede grinned and ruffled his hair. “Come on now, I’ll make you that camomile tea so you can get some proper rest.”
“Is that the ‘sleepy time’ tea?” Lucius asked. He crawled out of Stede’s arms and folded his blanket over his arm before letting the captain help him up.
“That’s the one, yes,” Stede said. “Would you like honey in it as well?”
“Yes, please.”
Stede knew he couldn’t fix Lucius, but he could offer the boy this: a nice cup of tea, a warm place to sleep, and the room to work through what had happened to him with their crew.