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Una felt hesitant, which was an unpleasant and foreign sensation. She prided herself on her decision making but that particular skill eluded her this evening. The Enterprise's first officer was standing outside of the Captain's quarters, hand fidgeting near the door chime but not quite activating it. Why was there a tremor in her hand?
Number One gripped the limb against her chest and shook out the nerves, she flicked her eyes around the corridor for any wandering crewman but thankfully it was deserted. Still, she didn't want to tempt fate much longer.
Time to make a decision.
Una straightened, as if going to battle, and swiped the door control. They opened for her immediately, with no chime.
He had been expecting her.
Number One blinked a few times, she hadn't been ready to enter his inner sanctum quite so quickly but what's done was done. She strode into the familiar room and made a beeline for the roaring fire in the centre of the room. Usually, the flames invoked warmth and comfort but tonight it felt different, somehow the room felt angry.
Sure enough, enclosed on the sofa facing the stars sat Christopher Pike. She noted he was nursing a glass of amber liquid, and judging by the dwindling bottle on the table this wasn't his first.
He stayed where he was, staring out at the stars beyond. Majala was no longer in sight but Una imagined that Chris still saw it. Yet another planet which had stolen a piece of him, how many more betrayals could he take?
Number One sat beside him on the sofa, a little stiffly at first but she soon settled into the seat. She joined him in his defiance by putting her feet up on the coffee table.
Pike finally looked her way, his disapproving glare only lasting a second. He was usually a no feet on the table guy, but the rules were out for the evening. Instead of grumbling about the inevitable scratches, he grabbed a glass from the side and began to pour her a generous amount.
Una took the proffered glass wordlessly, content to let him make the first move. She'd dealt with enough of Chris' horses to know a spooked animal when she saw one. Best to offer her company and let him come to her.
It didn't take long.
"You can say it."
She frowned, not quite what she'd expected for his opening salvo.
"Say what?"
Pike looked her dead in the eye, his face drawn and eyes red.
"That if I thought with my head rather than my pants, then that child would still be alive."
So, it was going to be one of those conversations.
Una took a long draught of her drink, the whiskey burning a path down her throat, pleasant but unforgiving. He obviously had penance on his mind.
"I neglected to bring a flog so do you want to replicate a new one or should I just hit you with a chair?" She placed her glass on the table with a clink.
Her mocking lilt did the trick. Chris bowed his head and took a little sip of his liquor. "Sorry, I'm not the best company at the moment."
Una sighed and leaned back on the sofa, studying him against the backdrop of space. "I don't think anyone is after that shit-show." She thought better of saying that she understood how he was feeling, how could she? "I just thought you could do with a friendly face."
Chris chuckled darkly. "What if I don't deserve that?"
Una was not letting him back down that rabbit hole again. "What did we say about flagellation?"
Pike refilled his drink, putting the decanter back on the table too sharply. The clang echoed around the still room. "Why won't you just leave me to beat myself up?"
She didn't flinch, the heat in his words was not meant for her. As she watched, a tear escaped from his tired eyes and tracked down his face. Una reached out a hand, gently so as not to spook him. She caught the tear in its path and gently rubbed it out, cupping his cheek when the tracks were erased.
"You're my friend Chris, I'm not leaving you alone."
She watched his face carefully, every flicker, every emotion. She could tell he was fighting, whether to give in to the comfort she was offering or slap it away. Una saw the moment he decided, she watched as he leaned into her touch and closed his eyes, trying to trap the tears inside.
Of course, they fell anyway.
Chris' greatest strength was now his weakness, he wore his heart on his sleeve and it had been cracked wide open. Una wanted to bottle up all of that pain and take it away but even if she could, Chris wouldn't let her. He needed to feel the emotions, to process them. Time was the only healer, time and a few bottles of brandy the way this night was going.
Pike sniffed and furiously started to wipe away his tears, emotions swaying back and forth between sorrow and rage. He was in a very volatile mood tonight. He got up from the sofa and began to pace in the small living space, Una watched him quietly. This was his way of processing, better using his energy like this than in other ways.
He stopped suddenly and looked at her, chest puffed out and cheeks flush. "Starfleet got back to me."
"Oh?"
"They won't do a damn thing." He picked up a data pad from the table. "Whilst the events on Majala are disturbing, we do not recommend blacklisting the society at this time. The medical and technological advances we could access with a future alliance would be well worth negotiation."
Pike spat the end of the report and when he was done he threw the datapad to the floor, where the screen promptly cracked and fizzled out.
Una didn't flinch, she'd seen that outburst coming a mile away, and frankly, those words got her blood boiling too.
"I wish I could show those pencil pushers what I saw down there." He fumed, furiously pointing in the direction of Majala. "If they'd seen that machine, the child..."
Pike choked up and trailed off at the mention of the first servant, he bowed his head and let his clenched fists fall to the side. Tears were storming the gates, it was a battle he was doomed to lose.
Una placed her glass on the coffee table and got to her feet, her heart clenched painfully for her friend. Starfleet's response was colder than she'd expected but not much different, their ideals wavered when faced with so much to gain. Chris never handled this side of Starfleet well. He was too good for this universe, always looking for the best in everyone, every life was important to him and no one was more important than anyone else.
Number One gathered her friend in her arms, he didn't resist the gesture and returned the embrace with everything he had. She rubbed his back as he sniffed into her shoulder, his tears staining both their uniforms.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered, something catching in her throat. "For all of it."
Una was no idiot, Pike didn't do emotions lightly. He cared for Alora deeply and these tears were as much for her as for the child they failed to save.
Pike's tears began to ease and he stopped shuddering beneath their onslaught. He muttered against her hair. "You know, part of me wants to go back there and shoot that machine out of the sky."
Una pulled back out of the tight embrace, just enough to meet his gaze. There was definite anger in those usual calm blue eyes, he was serious. She also knew that the part of him that wanted to do such a thing was in the minority. He wouldn't impose the federation's moral code on an unaligned world, no matter how wrong the Majalans were. That wasn't their place, nor their role.
"I'm sure the crew do too, but we both know that's a dangerous path."
Chris nodded silently, his gaze growing distant as he focussed on the fireplace over her shoulder. She could see the flames dance in his eyes, a macabre image of his inner rage.
"Where would you draw the line, are you so sure your morals are better than theirs? What gives you the right to impose your will on others who don't wish for it. Independence is to be upheld absolutely, no matter what you may think of local customs or laws. You are not god."
Una frowned, she'd never heard that before and it didn't sound like something Pike would say. He noted her confusion and clarified the source, "Bob April."
"He actually said that?"
"Yep." The corner of his lips curled upwards and Pike was suddenly fighting a smile, the first warm emotion of the evening. "Apparently I had that look about me."
"That look?"
Chris sighed heavily and started to gesticulate with his hands. "The look of someone who would cause an intergalactic incident for the sake of one life."
Una snorted. "He knows you well." If that wasn't Christopher Pike to a tee...
"Hmm." The sound was non-commital, his attention back on the fire.
Sensing that she was losing him again, Una stepped forward into his sight line, bringing his attention back to the living. "There's nothing more you could have done Chris."
He closed his eyes for a moment and his shoulders dropped in defeat. Pike turned away from the fire and paced back across to the window.
"I just... I feel like I've let them down. How many more kids are going to be plugged in, doomed to a life of suffering just so the city above can remain happy."
The evasion was not going to work, Una wouldn't let it. She had used up all of her aces already, hail mary time.
She moved to stand beside him, looking out of the viewport to space. "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."
Chris turned her way, eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline. He could not believe she had just delivered one of his favourite sayings with a straight face. "You've been listening to me too much."
She scoffed, completely unfazed by his scrutiny. "Hardly. You just can't help but throw a horse saying around on a daily basis."
The response was more silence, which made Una just as nervous as his angered tirades. She watched his expression carefully out of the corner of her eye, but the emotions that she caught were so conflicting that Una had no idea which way he would fall. With one breath his torso loosened but with the next his hands clenched. It was like a tug of war, with himself.
"She wouldn't listen to me Una, I begged her to stop." He began quietly. She noticed his eyes focus on something, he was looking at his own reflection in the glass. "I can't believe I fell for somebody who would sacrifice a child purely for their own gain."
Honestly, neither could she. Pike was destined to save lives, cadets who were essentially still kids with everything ahead of them, and Alora and her people snuffed that life out. That being said, everyone had lapses in judgement, even the great Captain Pike.
"You're only human."
That did earn a smile, even if it did disappear as quickly as the collapsing core of a supernova.
Time for the endgame.
Una indicated to the kitchenette with a head tilt. "I'm hungry. Unless you plan on leaving me unsupervised with your kitchen, I suggest you come and help."
She turned on her heel and headed away from the lounge and comforting fire, not turning back nor waiting for a response. He would follow, she was 99% sure of that.
Silence followed her across the carpet, maybe 98%.
When she reached the kitchen counter she finally heard a deep sigh, followed by the sound of footsteps. Thank god, she really wasn't much of a cook.
Chris joined her side and they fell into the usual routine, working in perfect synchrony. Una passed the eggs to him and he cracked them on the side of the pan; by the time he was ready for the cheese and ham they were already prepped and by his side.
He flipped the omelette over and the smell of cooked spices started to fill the air, clearing out the empty feeling that had greeted Una earlier. Pike finished the dish off with a handful of herbs and slid it onto a plate with practised ease.
He held out the meal to her, the strain in his frame already less. "Happy now?"
Una smiled and took the plate of steaming food. "No place I'd rather be."
A warm smile spread across his face, one which didn't immediately wink out of existence. He indicated for her to try the food he had prepared.
Number One took a bite of the dish, which was as usual seasoned perfectly. She let out a happy moan and closed her eyes, savouring the taste of fresh food. It had been a busy few days. When she opened her eyes she saw that Pike was still looking her way, something incredibly pleased in his gaze.
"10/10." She judged succinctly.
Chris gave her a small bow, the smile on his face reaching his eyes for the first time that evening. Una chuckled at his antics and handed him another egg. Pike took it wordlessly and cracked it into the sizzling pan, already distracted with stirring.
Una watched him fondly, a master at work in his domain. This was a happy space for him, the simple act of pleasing others with food did something for the soul. If she had to be a guinea pig to pull him out of this funk then so be it, there were far worse sacrifices.
Una pretended that she was very hungry that evening, and Chris played along.