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The captain of the good ship William looked out onto the horizon, hoping to spot a merchant ship they could raid on their way to port. Her first mate came up beside her and stood at attention. “Morning, Captain Bonny.”
“Morning,” Anne Bonny said, then turned to face her first mate. “And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing today?”
“Mary today, sir, though that could change if need be,” Mary Reed replied with a lopsided grin.
“No, First Mate Mary is always a pleasure,” Anne kissed her cheek and Mary visibly relaxed, “Will you ever tire of playing the whole ‘Captain/First Mate’ routine? We’ve been married three years now.”
“I’ll probably get bored of it as soon as I get bored of bringing you your morning coffee,” Mary replied, holding the tin cup towards her. “Now, what’s our first order of business today, babe?”
Anne took a long sip of her coffee, which her partner had prepared just the way she liked. “The news is that the entire English Navy is looking for that Gentleman Pirate fellow, which puts us in a hell of a position.”
“Yeah, it really does,” Mary grimaced. She leaned against the ship’s railing, then turned to Anne with a conspiratorial smile, “But hey, you want to hear a funny rumor, though? I heard that ol’ Beardie’s smitten with the guy.”
“Blackbeard?” Anne asked in disbelief.
“Uh huh, C-man said so last time we hooked up,” Mary explained, “He said the idiot’s acting even stupider ‘cause he’s in love or whatever.”
“Well, we wouldn’t know anyone who has experience with that,” Anne said wryly.
“Hey,” Mary shoved her with no malice, holding back a giggle. Then, she saw something bobbing in the water out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head and saw a brief flash of red fabric. “Hey look, Anne, what’d you think that is?”
Anne squinted against the harsh morning light. “It looks like a corpse.”
“I’m gonna haul it up to see if there’s anything valuable on it,” Mary chirped, already running off to grab a net and some more rope.
“That’s kinda gross, my dear.”
~~~
“I don’t think he’s dead yet,” Mary said as she scrambled back onto the deck and began hauling her prize up out of the water. “Anne, could you be a dear and go get Trudy and Lizzie, please? Thank you, you’re the best.”
Anne peered over the railing at the pale body. It appeared to be a man, his mop of brown hair plastered to his face from the waves. If he was breathing, it was only barely.
“We can’t keep him,” Anne warned before turning to fetch the ship’s medic and cook, Gertrude and Elizabeth.
By the time the three of them returned, Mary had laid the boy out on the deck. She pressed her ear to his chest, scowled, and patted his cheek.
“I don’t think that’s going to work, sugar,” Gertrude said. “Here, let me-”
Mary smacked the boy’s cheek. His eyes fluttered open and he began to cough up seawater.
“He’s alive,” Mary announced.
Elizabeth bustled over and helped Mary sit him up, pounding his back with her fist as he continued to hack and sputter. Gertrude crouched over him and felt his pulse in his wrist and at his neck.
“We’re not keeping him,” Anne reminded her partner.
“Aw, baby, at least let him catch his breath first before we toss him back overboard,” Mary pouted.
“If you’re going to kill me,” the man wheezed, “Please make it quick.”
“See, he’s a funny one,” Mary gestured to the sopping wet rescuee. “What were you doing floating around in the ocean, little fella?”
“Ugh, let’s just say my captain doesn’t like talent shows,” he said before he turned and coughed into his shoulder. “Christ, that hurts.”
“Yeah, nearly drowning will do that,” Gertrude said. She took his face in her weathered hands and turned it this way and that, before opening one eye with her fingers. “He’s not sick, but we better get him warmed up before he catches his death out here.”
So the women shuffled him down to the ship galley, where Elizabeth pressed a mug of hot spiced rum into his hands.
“We’re not letting him stick around,” Anne said as she sat across from him, “As soon as we get to port we’re booting him off. Men cause nothing but problems on ships.”
“Ugh, you’re telling me,” the man rolled his eye and took a sip of his hot toddy.
“Captain Bonny, if I may…” Elizabeth said, “We still keep Mark around, and he’s a man.”
“Hey, she’s right, baby,” Mary grinned devilishly, “You love Mark, and he’s a man.”
“That’s completely different,” Anne insisted, cheek flushing to match her red braids. “This man could be like Jack as far as any of us are concerned, and you know how I feel about that wretched pigheaded bastard.”
The man leaned over to Mary and whispered, “Who’s Jack?”
“Calico Jack.”
“Oh, ew, fuck that guy,” the man wrinkled his nose, “He’s part of the reason Ed pushed me over, I think. All this mess started because of him and ol’ Dizzy Izzy.”
“Wait, you know Jack?” Anne asked. “Just who was your captain?”
“Well, technically it’s Bonnet, but him and Teach were trying this thing called ‘co-captaining,’” the man explained. He gestured to himself. “As you can see, that worked out swimmingly.”
Gertrude snorted while Mary and Anne shared a look, their faces conveying a whole conversation only they were privy to.
“Okay, Mister…”
“Oh, it’s Spriggs, but just Lucius is fine, really,” the man smiled.
“Right, Mister Just-Lucius,” Anne said dryly, “You’re going to tell me everything that happened between Bonnet and Teach. The girls and I would love to know what Blackbeard is up to because what that dickhead does affects the rest of us here in the Caribbean.”
“Right, I totally understand,” Lucius nodded enthusiastically, “And I’ve always been such a terrible gossip. I know it’ll probably damn me to Hell or whatever but I think God’ll be more upset about all the men I’ve fucked. Anyway, it all started about two months ago when the Spanish…”