Chapter Text
“I have a question for you.”
Abnesti is clearly impressed by your boldness, but he isn't about to let you take control of the session by any means. He looks you dead in the eyes. “Just what makes you think you can ask me any?”
***
You can’t remember your life before Spiderhead. The employees here, would have you believe it’s better this way.
If you don’t remember your past, then you can’t miss it.
If you don’t remember your crime, did you really commit one?
Everyone here at Spiderhead has an unsavoury past. Your sentence, comes in the form of participating in clinical trials AKA being human guinea pigs for the drugs only the elite can afford.
Without your memories, you are just a blank slate for them to shape... or try to at least. The people you’ve met here are quite resilient.. You notice bits and pieces of what must be their old selves breaking through more and more everyday.
Still not knowing who you are or where you come from can be a jarring experience. For some, it causes them to close themselves off. Hide away in their rooms or lash out. For others, it creates a sort co-dependency between them and the new friends they’ve met while inside. It keeps them sane. Although at times, too passionate and obsessive you’ve noticed. In your case, while you value your friendships, you also cling to routine and authority.
9:00 is breakfast in the Dining Hall. Then sessions begin for the chosen few, if any at all that day. They can last anywhere from 10:30 AM, until 6:00. No more than three happen at once and no more than nine sessions in one day. 10:00 to 11:30 is communal exercise time. 11:30 onward is Study Hall. Then Lunch at 1:00. The rest of the day is spent in leisure. You can free roam the grounds. There’s the game room, the pool area, a gym, Dinner at 6:30.
After being fitted with your MobiPak™ in medical, you always make the short journey through the Garden. It’s an enclosed hallway, filled with illustrious plants and miniature ponds. It’s a welcome view on your way to such a plain and boring looking room.
You approach the door to Eval Room 1 and immediately head inside.
Abnesti prefers not to be kept waiting.
Or so you've heard. You're always on time.
SESSION #0128
“Ah, lucky number Thirteen. It’s good to see you again.” It’s Dr. Abnesti’s voice you immediately hear, acknowledging you from behind the glass screen. You glance toward one of the security monitors, used to give occupants a closer look at the room above. Abnesti’s smiling face is the first thing you see. At least someone seems happy to see you. Strands of impeccably coiffed blond hair, fall down his forehead as he shuffles some papers together. He glances back up toward you. Gosh, his smile is infuriatingly perfect.
Though his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, does it? He must have been put through the ringer by whoever came before you.
Mark is seated in the chair beside him. You consider waving hello, but instead you opt to just make eye contact. He nods at you in acknowledgement.
Taking a seat in the single white chair in the room, mentally preparing yourself for whatever experiment he had in store. Whether mental or physical. You keep quiet, until spoken to.
“I never need to make you compliant, do I?” He sighs. It’s more of an offhand remark to himself, but with the mic still on you hear it loud and clear anyway.
For some reason it’s a source of pride for you. You like that he doesn’t find you difficult or troublesome. You always try to avoid conflict when possible. The thought makes you anxious. Maybe it’s from an echo of your old life that stuck around. A rough childhood or crappy early young adulthood... you’d never know. Tris accuses you of liking it here too much, but at this point you’ve decided, all you want is a peaceful stay.
He’s looking through your notes now, no doubt trying to find what horror you’ve by chance managed to avoid. You note when his finger stops skimming the page and he settles on something.
“We haven’t used, Bluntiful™ on her yet, have we?” Abnesti asks, head still down.
"Nope, we have not," Mark confirms.
Bluntiful™. A truth drug. The name's a mouthful, but it's not so bad. You are quite relieved at what he’s settled on. You haven’t been dosed with it yet in any of your sessions, but it seems fairly tame compared to some of the other choices.
“You okay with trying that one today?” Abnesti asks, seemingly glancing up to watch you for input.
“Uh...” You actually begin to think on it, but he no longer waits for you to answer.
“Drip on?” He has already returned his gaze to his desk.
It’s always been protocol to ask in some capacity, and although you can refuse, you never do.
“Acknowledge,” you say without much thought. It’s what you always say. You also don’t want to know what will happen if you make him ask a second time.
You watch as Abnesti fiddles with his control device.
“So what’s different about this one?” you ask. As far as you know, Bluntiful™ has already been tested on some of your friends. If Abnesti is using it on you, it can’t be the same version.
Abnesti exchanges a glance with Mark. Then, he turns back to look down at you. "Uh, what do you mean?" he asks.
"Nothing. Never mind. Forget I asked."
Suddenly, Mark speaks up on your behalf. "I think she assumes it's a different variant because some of her friends must have been apart of the trials from a few months back.
Abnesti reflects for a moment, then responds. "Oh yes, that is right. It’s obvious you actually pay attention around here," he commends you. “Yeah, so this one should last slightly longer this time. Upwards of an hour, unless I decrease the dose to shut it off.”
You nod, as Abnesti swipes a dial in a clockwise motion. He starts his countdown.
“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”
After a few moments, you still don’t feel any different. You find yourself wondering if it will even work on you, when Abnesti speaks again.
“How do you feel about Spiderhead? Do you like this facility?”
“I like the friends I’ve made.”
For some reason, he doesn’t seem to notice right away that you’ve managed to avoid answering the question entirely.
“Okay and given the chance, would you leave?” Dr. Abnesti asks. You can tell he finds some humour in the question.
When, the words don’t readily flow from your mouth as expected, Abnesti stirs slightly in his chair. “Please don’t resist," he warns.
“I think we all would, wouldn’t we?” you reply finally.
Abnesti shakes his head a little in irritation. “Speak plainly and answer the question.”
“Yes, I would leave. This is only temporary anyway. Two years?”
“Mmmhmm.” The scientist nods, as he takes his pen to his notepad. “What do you think of Dr. Fournier?”
Dr. Melanie Fournier is a kind and beautiful French woman. A favourite among many around here.
Like Abnesti, she’s not a medical doctor, but holds a PhD. You sometimes have sessions with her, when Abnesti is otherwise occupied.
“She’s a very driven and intelligent woman. Focused, yet accommodating. I like her a lot.”
“And Dr. Cassidy?” He asks, looking up at you.
The woman who brought you here. You have no trouble finding the words to describe her. “I find her to be very cold and calculating. Hateful too. I think she’s hateful. She pushed me into a door...” you say matter of factly. “She’s like a giant, evil rodent.”
You hear both men chuckle, before you quickly start talking again. “I don’t like her at all... or her haircut.”
“Noted.” Abnesti writes something down again. “And how do you feel about me?” His eyes on you are watching you more intensely this time.
The question catches you off guard, and you find yourself faltering a bit. You bite your lip.
"My personality...my temperament, how I run things around here."
Oh, thank God.
“Oh, well you can be nice at times. Strict at others. Otherwise, I think you’re just fine I suppose.”
Abnesti mouth quirks up into a slightly mischievous grin.
“You haven’t seen me be very strict with you, have you, Y?N?” There’s a warning in his tone that you find off putting.
“Well, no, I haven’t...” you admit. You only based your truth on what others have told you, but you haven’t actually experienced it yourself. He is always even tempered with you. You’ve never seen him when he’s pissed or angry.
“So next time answer with your own experiences then, hmm.”
After being called out, you find yourself nodding promptly. “Of course.”
There’s a beat of silence before Abnesti speaks again. “How do you feel about the sessions? Do you enjoy them?”
What kind of question is that? There’s nothing to enjoy about the irregular and spontaneous nature of these sessions. You never knew what was going to happen during them. Sometimes you had it easy, but other times, you could get an undesired experienced.
“I neither enjoy nor dislike them.”
“Does having to participate in these sessions, ever aggravate you in any way?”
Aggravate? That’s a strong word. A negative emotion, like anger. You felt little of that at all lately, but you suppose that could all change. A slight annoyance, yes. Aggravation, no. Like you said, that word is too strong.
Sure, you’ve been curious about what’s to come in your sessions, but then you recall your recent walk down, and the ones before it. You find you aren’t too annoyed or fearful about the idea at all, but that could all change one day. Besides, they are mandatory.
“No,” you answer quickly, and Abnesti jots down some words.
“But that could always change.” The words come out before you’ve even decided to say them,
and he looks up right as you do. Like he didn’t expect you to say them either.
You continue to talk with him for some time. You aren’t really sure how long. You just suddenly become aware of how dry your mouth is and how stiff your body is in your chair, after not moving for some time.
When the clock gets to 5:59, Abnesti ends the session. “Bringing you back to baseline....drip on?”
“Acknowledge.”
The two of you sit in silence while you wait to return to normal. After a moment, he speaks again.
“Thanks for your help. You’ve been a pleasure as always,” Abnesti smiles down at you.
You stand getting ready to leave, as you do, you can’t help but smile back.
Positive reinforcement. You cling to that as well.