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Summary:

Lan Sizhui asks his father to summon a demon and Wei Wuxian agrees to do it. Unfortunately, Wei Wuxian didn't narrow it down to just demons when he was summoning and summons four men. Now he needs to find a way to send them back to their world.

[UPDATES EVERY WED & FRI]

Chapter 1: Demonic Cultivators Need to be Tamed

Chapter Text

"Wow."

Wei Wuxian mutters as the four men he summoned deliriously try to figure out where they are. His husband, Lan Wangji, and his son, Lan Sizhui, are both standing behind him wanting no part in any of this. That being said Lan Wangji is still alert, ready to protect his family when need be.

One of the men, donned in green robes, stands up and by his appearance Wei Wuxian can conclude that he's very important. He brushes off his robes and looks a little upset when he notices a stain. His negative emotions disperse when the man in black who fell with him stands up looking absolutely confused.

"What on earth happened?" The man in green asks quietly. He's elegant, beautiful face and calm demeanor despite just falling out of a summoning circle that Wei Wuxian put on the roof of the shed. He reminds him of a sect leader. He's completely unlike the other pair, who are completely out of it.

"What happened?! Brother Rong, I didn't do anything!" The one in all white whines. The man in all red with him grumbles and shakes his head. "Pitiful soul. I should've killed him when I had the chance." The one in white tuts and pats his chest as if he's disciplining him and says, "no, no. Do you want me to take away E-Ming again?" The man swallows and shakes his head quickly.

"Excuse me," the man in green says to get their attention. "What's going on?" He asks. The man in all white looks flustered but the man in red only gives a dark smile and says, "how about you answer that." The man in black starts to retaliate with a line but is forced to back down when the man in green glares at him.

Wei Wuxian decides that now it's time he jumps in. "Hey everyone!" He greets happily. They simultaneously turn their heads to look at him and all of a sudden he feels really nervous. "Sorry about this mix-up," he stutters over a few of his words, "I summoned you all here by accident. I swear, I was only trying to see what would happen if I tried summoning a higher life form."

Lan Sizhui huffs. "We were told you were going to be summoning a demon. I wanted to see one," he pouts. Wei Wuxian laughs nervously. "I don't know why it failed—" "Us?" They look over to the couple in the black and green. "What do you mean us? I'm human!" "Not with my blood inside of you, Shizun." The boy behind Wei Wuxian peeks out to see and the man in green instantly fawns over him.

"Oh, he's so pretty. Where do I seek permission to bring him back to my peak?" He asks. The man with him turns red out of jealousy and pulls his "Shizun" away. "You can't just replace me!" He whines which only earns him a whack on the head with a fan.

"We aren't demons though," the man in all white whispers. His companion leans down to whisper in his ear, "but higher life forms we are."

Wei Wuxian silently freaks out as he wonders how to deal with this situation. He can't send them back, he doesn't know how to, but if he travels through the sects there should be some elders who know how, right? He can't keep them here in Lotus Pier because Jiang Cheng will lock him up for practicing his demonic cultivation here. To get them out he'll have to make up a lie.

"I am so sorry to all of you! I promise, I'll find a way to fix this!" Wei Wuxian apologizes though none of the men seem to be interested in what he's saying.

"Okay," the man in all white says quickly which means he probably wasn't listening at all, "how about we all introduce ourselves and include what our humanity status is."

The man in green speaks first. "I am Shen Qingqiu, Peak Lord of Qing Jing peak. I am human with a bit of demon blood inside of me," he introduces. "Luo Binghe. Half demon. My Shizun possesses more than just a bit of demon blood inside of him " Shen Qingqiu looks up at Luo Binghe as if to scold him for giving such an introduction but Luo Binghe nuzzles his face into his Shizun's shoulder which makes him change expressions.

"Xie Lian. I am a Martial God of the heavenly realm and this is Hua Cheng, a…Ghost. What about you three?" The man in all white, now known as Xie Lian, introduces. "Wei Wuxian, Wei Ying, Yiling Laozu, call me anything you like! I am an avid practicer of demonic cultivation," Wei Wuxian happily says. He looks at his husband and son before introducing them too. "This is my husband Lan Wangji, and our son Lan Sizhui."

Wei Wuxian had expected surprised faces but was met with just Xie Lian's face who was very close, giving him a hard stare. "You don't seem to be very human," Xie Lian says before Hua Cheng pulls him away. "Gege, careful with the mortals. No need to taint yourself." Lan Wangji shoots him a glare and only gets a snarky smile in response.

Lan Sizhui pulls on Wei Wuxian's sleeve to get his attention and when he does he points to the place where Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu should have been. "Oh my…" Xie Lian mutters. Wei Wuxian runs to the open door and is relieved to see that they're just strolling around the pier.

"Okay, before I can find help we need to wait for my—the sect leader to return. I'm not allowed to leave without his permission," Wei Wuxian tells everyone, "so just hang around here for a bit."

 

Chapter 2: Hurry, Arrive, Sect Leader!

Chapter Text

It's chaos.

Well, it's as much chaos as a bunch of adult men who don't like yelling can do.

Lan Wangji had quickly pissed off Luo Binghe and Hua Cheng and now is being surrounded by the two of them. Lan Sizhui keeps disappearing and reappearing with and without dogs. Wei Wuxian assumes he's trying to get them to sniff out evil intentions or he probably just found out they existed and is deciding to play with them. Shen Qingqiu was the only quiet one, sat on a spot on the pier where there were a lot of lotuses and water lilies gathering and Xie Lian looked like he was trying to approach him but was too nervous to.

So Wei Wuxian went over to join the god.

"Hello," Wei Wuxian greets, causing the man to jump. "Sorry." Xie Lian gives him a smile before turning back to Shen Qingqiu. Wei Wuxian turns to watch the man too. He's beautiful and mature, unlike the rest of them, even more mature than Lan Wangji and hasn't made anyone mad at him yet. But he doesn't really know if that calls for staring.

"Why are you looking at him?" Wei Wuxian asks. "He looks so lonely. Binghe said that he was poisoned so he refrains from exerting himself too much when there's not an emergency. I want to go over and join him but he's so…uh…cool and I don't know how."

Wei Wuxian smiles. It's adorable. "Maybe he wants a lotus?" Wei Wuxian says. Xie Lian gulps before taking a few hesitant steps forward. He shuffles over to Shen Qingqiu awkwardly and sits down next to him. Shen Qingqiu looks at him before quickly putting his fan up and Wei Wuxian can see that it was to hide an amused expression.

Xie Lian's robes tussle before a white bandage comes out and wraps around the stem of a lotus. Shen Qingqiu puts his fan down as he watches the bandage bring the lotus out of the water and into his hands.

Shen Qingqiu looks at Xie Lian before setting the lotus flower onto his lap and placing his knuckles on his knees while he grips his fan. "Thank you, young man. You are very admirable," Shen Qingqiu mutters as he picks up the lotus. Xie Lian silently cheers and runs back over to Wei Wuxian.

"I did it! He called me admirable!" Xie Lian gushes. Wei Wuxian raises a brow and can't help the smile that creeps up to his face. "Why didn't you continue to speak to him? You ran away so fast," Wei Wuxian chuckles. Xie Lian realizes and looks embarrassed after the words sink in.

"Shizun!" Luo Binghe exclaims as he runs up to the man. "What's that?" Shen Qingqiu holds up the lotus to let him see. "Aren't the flowers here so pretty? We never see such things on my peak," Shen Qingqiu tells him. Luo Binghe scowls and grabs the lotus. "This one can grow even prettier flowers for Shizun! Don't settle for these measly petals."

Shen Qingqiu snatches the flower away from him but it's already too late. It's started to wilt. Luo Binghe's demonic energy does this to almost every living thing he touches when he's distressed.

"Ah, sorry, Shizun…" Luo Binghe whispers as he watches the flower wilt. Shen Qingqiu disposes of the flower back into the water and sits back on the edge of the dock as he was before. It was so quick that no one could see the expression on his face.

Luo Binghe cautiously sits down next to him and lays his head on his shoulder. Shen Qingqiu doesn't push him off but everyone else can see how tense Luo Binghe is. Wei Wuxian walks over to them and kneels down to see if he can help.

"Shen Qingqiu, would you like another lotus?" Wei Wuxian asks. Shen Qingqiu looks at Wei Wuxian and shakes his head. Wei Wuxian tried to study his face more but he turned back to the water too fast. From what Wei Wuxian could see Shen Qingqiu didn't seem too upset. He had more of an "it happens" expression.

Wei Wuxian stands back up and walks away. He'll let them sort it out.

"My, aren't these so pretty? What do you do with them?"

"Paint…? What else am I supposed to do with these?"

"Oh. I wasn't thinking."

Wei Wuxian is surprised to see Nie Huaisang standing there talking to Xie Lian with his large bag of art supplies with Lan Xichen behind him. "When did they get here?" Wei Wuxian asks his husband. "Just now. Your brother has also returned," Lan Wangji responds. "I'm going to get your brother to talk to him," Wei Wuxian mumbles before heading off to greet Lan Xichen.

"A-ge, A-Sang, how have you been?" Wei Wuxian asks. "Great. It seems you have invited guests…without permission…" Lan Xichen says with a sigh. "I am doing great, too. Hey, can you move some people so I can draw on the docks? Disciples are everywhere!" Nie Huaisang whispers. Wei Wuxian looks around and when his eyes land on Shen Qingqiu he points to him. "You should go and share your art with the one in green. He gives off the same…what's a good word? Energy! As you."

Nie Huaisang doesn't think twice as he heads over there.

Wei Wuxian turns his attention back to Lan Xichen. "Please convince my brother to let me leave! I only visited here in the first place to see Jin Ling, then he cursed me so I couldn't leave!" Wei Wuxian exclaims, "and I have to get these peo—beings out of here." Lan Xichen looks around at the odd guests before frowning. "He's probably already headed over here because their aura is so strong. What are they?" Lan Xichen asks. "Long story short, they'd fail a mortality test," Wei Wuxian mutters as he shrugs.

As if on cue Jiang Cheng walks out holding Lan Sizhui by the collar. He glares at Wei Wuxian and says, "keep your son away from my dogs," before letting him go. Lan Sizhui runs up to Lan Xichen to hide behind him.

Jiang Cheng looks at his unwanted guests and Wei Wuxian swears he sees him take a step back. "What is this?" Jiang Cheng asks but it's so low that Wei Wuxian assumes the man is just asking himself.

Before Wei Wuxian can explain, Xie Lian grabs Jiang Cheng's hands and ruins the peace.

 

Chapter 3: Set Off

Notes:

Will try to get these chapters out before noon.

Chapter Text

"You look heavenly compared to the other disciples. When Wei Wuxian sends us back are you willing to train to ascend? Don't worry, you can still visit your family and friends—" Xie Lian's voice trails off when he sees both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian glaring at him.

"'Sends us back'? Wei Wuxian!" Jiang Cheng shouts. "Why would you tell him!" Wei Wuxian whines before running to hide behind Lan Xichen next to his son.

"Baba summoned these guys," Lan Sizhui blurts out. "A-Yuan!" Wei Wuxian cries. Jiang Cheng glares at him next with Zidian in his hand and Sandu ready to be drawn. Wei Wuxian's mouth just hangs open. He had planned on spinning the story but now it's ruined!

Lan Wangji walks up to Jiang Cheng and bows. He's up quickly and begins speaking lowly to him so that nobody hears. Wei Wuxian waits quietly as they talk. Jiang Cheng keeps glancing over at him and gradually starts looking less upset but not completely calm.

He sighs and looks away. "Whatever. He better send them back soon," he mutters as he walks away. Lan Wangji walks over to Wei Wuxian and he swears he sees a small smile on his face. "What did you tell him?" Wei Wuxian whispers-yells and Lan Wangji only looks to the side before shrugging. "You better not have offered my head," Wei Wuxian warns and now Lan Wangji looks amused as he shakes his head.

"Wei Wuxian!" Wei Wuxian looks over at the dock to see Shen Qingqiu holding up a fan with a (admittedly goofy) grin on his face and Luo Binghe is next to him with a very proud look on his face.

"Your friend is so talented. He showed Binghe how to make such a beautiful fan," Shen Qingqiu damn near gushes. "Oh," Wei Wuxian says, not really knowing how to respond after seeing him act like that. "Look," Shen Qingqiu puts the fan in his face, "there are lotuses and lilies on it." Wei Wuxian still doesn't speak.

Shen Qingqiu lowers the fan and looks around for a second before turning red and putting the fan up. "Shizun is getting too comfortable with these strangers," Luo Binghe pouts. Shen Qingqiu walks behind Luo Binghe to try and fix his face.

Nie Huaisang walks over to Lan Xichen and grabs Lan Sizhui. "You dare tell on my best friend and expect no consequences?" He asks. Lan Sizhui shakes his head quickly and tries to run but Nie Huaisang doesn't let go.

"Wei Ying, we can use the boats until we get to the path to the Cloud Recesses," Lan Wangji whispers in his husband's ear. "Really?" Wei Wuxian exclaims, "what did you say to him? Will I be his slave until I die?" Lan Wangji shakes his head again. Wei Wuxian doesn't feel like pushing it.

"Hey, everyone! It's time to go!" Wei Wuxian shouts as he walks up to some boats. Thankfully there are no issues while everyone is getting in. The issue at the end is that no one from the other worlds can (wants) to steer the boats.

"So lazy," Wei Wuxian mutters as he gets up and jumps over to Xie Lian's and Hua Cheng's boat. Lan Sizhui follows him. Lan Wangji, to Wei Wuxian's surprise, goes over to the other boat.

"So considerate, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says. Lan Wangji looks at Luo Binghe before looking back at Wei Wuxian. "Oh. Well, you're still protecting us out of the goodness of your heart!" Lan Wangji shakes his head and says, "only Wei Ying and Lan Yuan."

Luo Binghe looks irritated but Shen Qingqiu grabs something of his that makes him freak out. "No! I won't do anything, I promise!" "You'll get it back soon," Shen Qingqiu says as he puts it away. "Such a good idea. Beings prone to fighting shouldn't have any weapons," Xie Lian chuckles. Hua Cheng looks down and searches his waist before looking back up at him. "When did you take it?" "A while ago."

Wei Wuxian can't help but laugh but Lan Wangji looks at him like he's about to take something too. "What? I won't fight them!" He defends, "and it's not like anybody here is or was dead!" Shen Qingqiu and Hua Cheng both look like they're about to say something so Wei Wuxian reluctantly tosses his dizi to Lan Wangji.

"Why are Nie-xiong and your brother here?" Lan Sizhui asks. "Oh, so that's what you're calling him now?" Wei Wuxian mutters as he hits the boy with the pole. "Meeting between sect leaders, most likely," Lan Wangji responds, "did you—?" Lan Sizhui says his goodbyes and jumps out of the boat. He pushes both away before running off.

"If we see Jingyi and Zizhen I'm telling them he abandoned them for Jin Ling," Wei Wuxian huffs as he turns the boat.

 

Chapter 4: Don't Piss Wangji Off

Chapter Text

The trek to the Cloud Recesses isn't quiet but at least nobody is fighting. Wei Wuxian couldn't join them because of his medical issues but promised to meet them there as soon as he could. Lan Wangji reluctantly agreed to take the rest up.

"I do feel bad for the others," Shen Qingqiu whispers to Luo Binghe, "and I'll definitely be in trouble when we go back but at least I don't have to see you try to fight with Liu-shidi everyday." Luo Binghe still looks irritated. "But our wedding!" "The wrong people—and demons—were planning on showing up. Because we're gone they'll think we eloped. Isn't that great?" Shen Qingqiu chuckles.

"Who's wedding?" Xie Lian asks nosily. Shen Qingqiu startles and drops his fan. "I'm so sorry!" Xie Lian exclaims before bending down and picking up the fan. Shen Qingqiu takes it and instinctively whacks his head with it. "Yes, Shizun, hurt the enemy!" Luo Binghe cheers which ends up in him getting whacked too.

Shen Qingqiu huffs and speeds up to join Lan Wangji. "Brother Lan," Shen Qingqiu mutters, "how do you quietly enjoy your walk?" Lan Wangji only glances at him, not speaking. "Is it because Wei Wuxian isn't here? Where is he?" Shen Qingqiu asks. Lan Wangji frowns. "I apologize. Is he going to be joining us again?" Lan Wangji nods.

"Binghe, come learn something from Brother Lan. So quiet," Shen Qingqiu says. "Brother Lan? Shizun, you're too important. Make him bow to you," Luo Binghe grumbles with a glare at Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji gives Shen Qingqiu a 'don't get me involved' look but the peak lord pretends not to see. "He walks elegantly, chin held high and eyes on his destination. You keep slouching and watching me. Undignified and honestly, embarrassing."

Luo Binghe steps in front of Lan Wangji with his arms crossed and a glare still going strong. Lan Wangji stops and puts his hand on his sword.

"Yes, Gege, I am still nearby, but I found something. Can Lan Wangji hear me?" Hua Cheng's voice says. Xie Lian holds up the scimitar in his hands to Lan Wangji and gives an affirmative answer. "Good. Who's rabbits are these? May I borrow one for dinner?" He says, the tease in his voice very apparent. "No! Don't touch a single one of them!" Lan Wangji shouts. Hua Cheng cackles and Xie Lian quickly walks away and quietly berates him for asking such a thing.

"You like rabbits?" Shen Qingqiu asks. Lan Wangji draws his sword and points it directly at him. Shen Qingqiu puts his hands up but it's obvious he's trying to hold back a laugh. Luo Binghe just smirks and drags his Shizun away.

Up ahead footsteps are heard and everyone goes quiet. Lan Wangji takes a stance in front of all of them and bows before the people making the sounds of the footsteps are even in sight. Xie Lian quickly bows too. Shen Qingqiu attempts to copy but Luo Binghe pulls him back up.

A few older men donned in the same clothes as Lan Wangji stop just a few feet away. "Wangji! I knew I heard so much noise!" The one in the middle exclaims, "what is the meaning of this? Who are they?"

Lan Wangji stands up straight and without missing a beat says, "these are prisoners."

 

Chapter 5: Pre Jailbreak

Chapter Text

"I made it!" Wei Wuxian exclaims the second he walks into the Cloud Recesses with Hua Cheng at his side. Hua Cheng looks around and starts to wander off but Wei Wuxian stops him with a sigh. He stops and turns towards Wei Wuxian who is staring at a building.

In front of the building stands men dressed in all white speaking to each other. Amongst them, Lan Wangji and Xie Lian are speaking. Well, it looks more like Xie Lian is pleading with Lan Wangji who has his eyes closed. Hua Cheng crosses his arms and scowls at Lan Wangji while Wei Wuxian decides to advance.

Lan Wangji looks up almost instantly and pushes Xie Lian aside. "Wei Yi—" "What did you do? Where are the others?" Wei Wuxian asks. The last thing he wants is outsiders that are the Yiling Patriarch's friends wandering the streets without any knowledge of the place. Not only will they be kicked out but Wei Wuxian could be banned.

"Imprisoned," Lan Wangji mutters. "Like, for real?" Lan Wangji nods. "Why? What did they do?" Wei Wuxian asks, horrified. "Uh," Lan Wangji mutters. Wei Wuxian pretends to throw up while saying, "Lan Zhan is so unsure. I fear!"

Xie Lian runs up to them and grabs Wei Wuxian's arm. "Your husband told the elders that Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe escaped from another prison and attacked us! Now they're locked up," he explains. Wei Wuxian groans and lightly punches Lan Wangji's arm. "You caused me a quick minute of worry. Be ashamed when my face grows wrinkly because of worry."

"But Wei Wuxian, what do we do?" Xie Lian asks worriedly. "They're just humoring us. If prisoners were chasing Lan Zhan he would've dealt with them and taken them back to where they came from. If we break them out at night and run off they won't even bat an eye," Wei Wuxian responds, "though, I bet we're on a time limit. Only so long before they make them real prisoners."

Lan Wangji nods and Xie Lian relaxes. "But how could they get restrained so easily?" Wei Wuxian asks. "Shen Qingqiu willingly went and said something to Luo Binghe that made him not attack. Shen Qingqiu must be very strong and scary if Luo Binghe listens to him so easily," Xie Lian responds.

Lan Wangji tries to walk away but Wei Wuxian grabs his arm and reaches into his sleeve. He pulls out his dizi that was previously taken away and puts it into his own sleeve. "You're in trouble. I will state your punishment…tonight!" Wei Wuxian exclaims. Xie Lian slips away quietly, he would rather not listen to whatever Wei Wuxian is going to talk about.

"San Lang!" Xie Lian calls. Hua Cheng looks up at him briefly before looking back down. In front of him is a young disciple on the ground with a paint brush and a thick sheet of paper. Xie Lian watches as he adds the finishing touches and stands up. "It's not quite dry yet," the disciple mutters nervously.

Hua Cheng looks at it and raises a brow. "What a unique art style," he says flatly. The disciple looks embarrassed as he says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this." Hua Cheng puts his hand up and puts it into his sleeve. "I didn't say I didn't like it. You should get back to your training before you get in trouble," Hua Cheng says. The disciple nods and runs off.

"Come you two! Let's go get them so we can leave!" Wei Wuxian calls out. Xie Lian reaches out and takes Hua Cheng's hand. "Gege, I'm glad to see you're safe," Hua Cheng says. "You seem happy with that painting," Xie Lian chuckles and Hua Cheng looks away. "Why so shy?" Xie Lian asks. "Does Gege think I look cute?" Hua Cheng asks with a smirk. "Ugh! San Lang!"

 

 

Chapter 6: The Forest Down the Mountain

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Brother Lan, I am sorry for making fun of you. Please allow me to apologize!" Shen Qingqiu exclaims with a bow the second they're a safe distance away from the Cloud Recesses. Lan Wangji freezes as he listens to Shen Qingqiu practically offer to be his servant. 

Luo Binghe, on the other hand, only mumbled a thank you to Hua Cheng (who got them out) before boasting about his powers and how he would've teleported himself and Shen Qingqiu out if he really needed to.

"Why are you apologizing? Wait, Lan Zhan, why did you get them imprisoned?" Wei Wuxian asks his husband. "The fault is ours—" Shen Qingqiu starts but Luo Binghe stops him by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Your husband is so unreasonable! We merely laughed when we found out he liked rabbits and he got upset!" Wei Wuxian looks at Lan Wangji and grabs his wrist.

"All of you wait here," Wei Wuxian says before taking Lan Wangji into the thick forest. They keep going until they're out of earshot from everyone.

With the four on the path, Xie Lian keeps asking about Shen Qingqiu's health. "I already said I'm fine. No need to worry so much," Shen Qingqiu says before putting up his fan, "but Brother Lan is going to get punished." "Because he tried to get rid of you!" Xie Lian exclaims. Shen Qingqiu sighs.

Luo Binghe sits down on the ground and Shen Qingqiu sits down in his lap so as to not get his robes too dirty. "Binghe, do you really think he deserves it?" "I don't care," Luo Binghe replies as he runs his fingers through Shen Qingqiu's hair.

Xie Lian still seems upset. "But he's so immature! What if he had left you there?" Xie Lian asks. "Then so be it. I would've served my time because it was my fault…though I doubt Binghe would've let me do that." Luo Binghe makes a quiet noise of agreement before closing his eyes and laying his forehead on his Shizun's shoulder.

"Shen Qingqiu," Xie Lian calls. "Yes?" The peak lord answers. "Could I…be your disciple? Until we go back home?" Shen Qingqiu frowns (an expression that his fan cannot cover) and Xie Lian thinks he must've said something bad. "You forget your position? It would be…awkward…to have one such as yourself at my command," Shen Qingqiu mutters, "besides, I'm more of a disciple myself compared to the actual sect leader of the sect I'm from. I don't like recruiting adults."

"Really?" Xie Lian asks quietly, "but you're the most mature out of all of us so I though—" Luo Binghe laughs lowly. "What's so funny?" Shen Qingqiu asks him. "Shizun…mature," he says in between laughs. "I am!" Shen Qingqiu exclaims. "Nuh uh. You always lose your maturity whenever I do something bad. You'd either berate me in front of everyone or try to justify it while stuttering," Luo Binghe says endearingly, "it is very cute but mature you are not."

Xie Lian starts to speak but Hua Cheng places his hands on his shoulders and asks if he wants a massage. Xie Lian quickly kisses his cheek before saying yes.

 

In the forest Lan Wangji agrees to apologize to the others as long as it means Wei Wuxian doesn't make him apologize to the elders of Gusu Lan (which would be a disaster).

As they are heading back to the others the ground cracks beneath their feet and begins rumbling.

"Today is going well, don't you think?" Wei Wuxian asks Lan Wangji jokingly. Lan Wangji smiles slightly and begins to draw his sword before looking at Wei Wuxian. His eyes widen when he sees his husband with his hand over his mouth and blood dripping between his fingers.

Isn't right now where they're about to be attacked a great time for a flare up?

 

Notes:

A quick note about the current friendships:
nobody is anybody's friend yet.

That being said, here's what they think about each other.

𝐖𝐞𝐢 𝐖𝐮𝐱𝐢𝐚𝐧:
Xie Lian- entertaining
Hua Cheng- nicely quiet (because he's watching over his gege and not interested in anyone else)

Shen Qingqiu- entertaining
Luo Binghe- entertaining

𝐋𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐢:
Xie Lian- no comment
Hua Cheng- still upset at him about the bunny comment

Shen Qingqiu- less annoying
Luo Binghe- annoying

𝐗𝐢𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐧:
Wei Wuxian- likes
Lan Wangji- dislikes (because of what he did to SQQ)

Shen Qingqiu- greatly admires
Luo Binghe- no comment

𝐇𝐮𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠:
Wei Wuxian- no comment
Lan Wangji- no comment

Shen Qingqiu- no comment
Luo Binghe- no comment

𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐐𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐪𝐢𝐮:
Wei Wuxian- likes
Lan Wangji- greatly admires

Xie Lian- cute
Hua Cheng- no comment

𝐋𝐮𝐨 𝐁𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐞:
Wei Wuxian- doesn't hate him
Lan Wangji- no comment

Xie Lian- very entertaining
Hua Cheng- no comment

Chapter 7: Condition

Chapter Text

Lan Wangji picks up Wei Wuxian and jumps out of the way just as a Giant Burrowing Tiger Wasp shoots out of the ground. Lan Wangji goes quiet and stays still. If he remembers correctly, it's blind with a terrible sense of smell. If he can find somewhere to put his husband he'll be able to kill it but at the moment—

Around Lan Wangji the trees rustle and the creature turns its attention towards them. Lan Wangji holds Wei Wuxian closer, ready to run if need be. To his surprise the leaves start rapidly detaching from the trees leaving them bare. The Tiger Wasp starts to fly toward Lan Wangji so the man makes a run for it.

Lan Wangji doesn't get far when he hears the tearing sound of flesh. He turned around only to see that the leaves had pierced the creatures through its middle and were spinning to cut deeper and deeper.

"Lan Wangji!" Someone calls. Lan Wangji manages to find a clearing in the forest and goes there. He sets Wei Wuxian on the grass and loosens his robes. "Lan—Oh my gods—" Shen Qingqiu whispers when he sees Wei Wuxian.

Soon enough everyone is there gathered around Wei Wuxian waiting to see what Lan Wangji was going to do.

"Did that thing attack him?" Hua Cheng asks, "where are his injuries?" Xie Lian looks a little surprised to hear his husband speak first but it disappears when he realizes it's probably just because Wei Wuxian is the only one who can get them home. Lan Wangji shakes his head. "Then…what happened?" Shen Qingqiu asks. "Shizun has learned much from that doctor lord. Show your wonderful skills here," Luo Binghe says.

Shen Qingqiu reluctantly gets on his knees and tries to look at Lan Wangji for permission but he can't see his face. "I'll start…" Shen Qingqiu mutters before reaching out and placing a hand on Wei Wuxian's chest. He tries to channel qi into his palm and transfer it to Wei Wuxian's core but it doesn't work. The qi in his palm doesn't pass through at all so Shen Qingqiu pulls back and tries again. And again and again.

"No core," Lan Wangji says. "What…?" Shen Qingqiu manages to say as Lan Wangji stands up. "It's too dangerous to leave him here but I can't hold everyone up," Lan Wangji says, mostly to himself. "I can watch him again," Hua Cheng offers. "'Again'?" Xie Lian exclaims. "Yes, again," Hua Cheng confirms.

Xie Lian gives him a confused look. "When we arrived on land after our boat trip he was struggling to breathe so I left to go check on him after we were a ways up," Hua Cheng explains. "But…why? San Lang, are you turning over a new leaf?" Xie Lian asks jokingly. "That's the thing," Hua Cheng says, "I don't know why. I told myself it's because no one else can get us out of here but—" "Okay okay okay!" Xie Lian cuts him off.

"You speak your feelings so loud, unafraid to be judged," Luo Binghe teases. "Judged by who? You? So sorry are you," Hua Cheng laughs. Xie Lian can't help but notice that the laugh is devoid of any malice.

"I was simply complimenting you. Have you heard so little that you don't know how to react?" This earns Luo Binghe a hard whack on the head from Shen Qingqiu's fan.

"San Lang's heart grows," Xie Lian mutters affectionately but Luo Binghe laughs loudly at that. "All of you be quiet! Lan Wangji, are you alright with leaving him in Hua Cheng care again?" Shen Qingqiu asks. Lan Wangji looks at Wei Wuxian before nodding.

Before anybody can say another thing the trees rustle and three people jump out. Everyone turns to look at them. Two are kids, one dressed in the same robes as Lan Wangji and the other has a clear face and his hair in a high bun. To the side is a man with gray skin and a very deathly appearance.

"Hanguang-jun! I told you I sensed he was around here!" The one in the same robes as Lan Wangji exclaims. "Fine, you were right," the one with the bun says. Lan Wangji stands up and walks over to them. 

"What are you doing out here?" Lan Wangji asks them. "Hunting monsters, obviously," the one with the bun exclaims, which earns him a punch from the other kid. The older one walks past them and stops when he gets to Wei Wuxian. He only looks for a second before turning away and walking up to Lan Wangji.

He whispers something to him and the man whispers back. They exchange words only a bit more before the gray man disappears into the forest. The kids don't try to stop him, instead getting curious about Wei Wuxian. Unfortunately for them Lan Wangji covers their eyes and walks past him.

"Come on," Lan Wangji tells the others. Xie Lian kisses Hua Cheng swiftly before running off. Luo Binghe waves to Hua Cheng with a smirk before his Shizun pulls him away.

After everyone is gone the man with the gray skin walks out to join Hua Cheng and Wei Wuxian.

 

Chapter 8: At the End, Qingqiu Doesn't Know What's Going On With Lian

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Hua Cheng watches as the man with gray skin crouches down and moves some of Wei Wuxian's hair out of his face. He looks upset when he sees the cultivator furrowing his brows and sweating profusely.

Hua Cheng stares down at him trying to figure out what he is. He looks like a corpse but it's as if the rotting process was completely stopped and the only thing that changed (that the naked eye can see) is the color of his skin. His hair hasn't even fallen out.

The man looks up at Hua Cheng before standing up and taking some steps back. "Sorry…I didn't ask if I could touch him…" He says. Hua Cheng can now conclude that his vocal cords aren't in normal condition. "No need to ask. You look like you know him. We've only just met," Hua Cheng replies. Maybe he can have a butterfly crawl in and see what's going on—

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed," he mutters. Hua Cheng does take the time to comfort him, because he really doesn't care, and instead asks his question. "What are you?"

The man takes a deep breath and takes a few steps backwards. On the ground Wei Wuxian starts to stir and in a panic he turns around and runs. The butterfly Hua Cheng stuck on him wasn't shaken off despite the sudden moves and Hua Cheng can easily track him down. But he won't. He can only imagine the punishment his Gege would give him if he left Wei Wuxian alone.

Wei Wuxian wakes up as if he had the best sleep ever. He yawns, stretches, and wipes his eyes. Hua Cheng sighs and walks back over to him.

 

The others are still on the road to Nie. Lan Wangji had explained that out of all of the secretive people there at least one should be able to tell them how to reverse this.

"Hold on…why can't Wei Wuxian just reverse this himself?" Xie Lian asks. "Completely harmless cultivation is out of his expertise," Lan Wangji mutters. Shen Qingqiu chuckles but stops when Lan Wangji gives him a serious look. "He was planning on summoning demons. How was he planning on sending them back?" Luo Binghe asks.

Lan Wangji stops and turns around. "He was planning on summoning mindless monsters that kill for sport. Sending them back would severely deplete their qi and leave them weakened for days." Luo Binghe scoffs. "I doubt that would happen to me," he laughs but Shen Qingqiu jabs him in the side with his fan. "I'm still human, you know."

"He won't take any chances," Lan Wangji concludes and continues walking.

As they walk, Shen Qingqiu notices Xie Lian copying (or trying to) his posture out of the corner of his eye. He gives him a light slap on the back which startles him. "No need to hold your head so high. Wangji will deal with any officials," he says, hoping Xie Lian relaxes. Xie Lian's expression changed from determined to disappointed in a matter of seconds after hearing Shen Qingqiu say that name.

Shen Qingqiu feels bad even though he doesn't know why the god reacted that way. He looks at his fan before handing it to him and saying, "look at the lotuses. Aren't they so pretty?" Xie Lian's eyes brighten and he excitedly asks, "can I really hold your fan?" Confused, Shen Qingqiu nods. Maybe he just really likes lotuses.

 

Chapter 9: Put a Sign That Says "Fake Monster Here, Proceed with Caution"

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"Help me up!"

"Your arms are broken? What weak bones."

Wei Wuxian grumbles as he stands up on his own. "So mean What if my arms really were broken, huh?" Wei Wuxian mutters. "Then you would be finding new ways to move around," Hua Cheng says, "you can roll." Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes playfully before turning to face the direction of the road. "I'm pretty sure we're supposed to head back this way," the cultivator says as he starts to walk. Hua Cheng clears his throat which makes him stop and turn back towards the ghost.

"What is it? I swear this is the right wa—" "I don't know if it is nor do I care. Before we go anywhere I have a question." Wei Wuxian shrugs and waits. "Earlier, while you could barely move another…being was here. It was a man with long hair and gray skin," Hua Cheng starts. Wei Wuxian smiles and says, "that's my friend, Wen Ning!" "Mhm. What is he?" Wei Wuxian looks around before quietly saying, "I don't know if Lan Zhan would let me tell you."

"You let him control you?" Hua Cheng asks and Wei Wuxian shakes his head quickly. "It's to keep me safe! If I told you you wouldn't tell anyone else, right?* Hua Cheng blinks a few times before smirking and saying, "I promise I won't be the one to bring it up unless directly asked by Gege." Wei Wuxian sighs. "I guess them finding out isn't too bad. Though, Lan Zhan might be upset with me."

Wei Wuxian cracks his knuckles a few times before explaining. "I don't do this anymore but a long time ago I had the power to bring back the dead. They were mindless beings that did everything my dizi commanded them to. The one you met is a close friend of mine and when he died in front of me I brought him back. He can think but for the longest he thought he had no purpose besides to serve me…which is definitely my fault. Anyways, as you can see he is very independent now and is living his best life!"

Hua Cheng doesn't even attempt to comfort Wei Wuxian, instead thinking of a question to change the subject. Wei Wuxian just turns around and walks back towards the path. "What will happen to him if you die?" Hua Cheng asks. "Oh, he was not created with my own powers," Wei Wuxian says, "well, not really so he should still be alive afterwards."

"Since I'm dead, could you do that to me?" Hua Cheng asks. "I don't know nor do I want to try," Wei Wuxian snaps. Hua Cheng finally backs off with the questions.

 

"I want to see the lotuses again," Shen Qingqiu sighs. "We will be able to go home soon, you should be more excited about that," Luo Binghe says. "I don't think it's bad here. We're having so much fun together," Xie Lian chimes in. "Yes!" Shen Qingqiu agrees.

"Qingge won't leave me alone ever again if we stay for any longer," Luo Binghe grumbles, "he probably thinks I kidnapped you." Shen Qingqiu chuckles and pats his back. "Don't worry, I'll make sure we get time to ourselves."

Lan Wangji stops walking and turns around with a white butterfly in his hand. "San Lang!" Xie Lian exclaims excitedly, handing Shen Qingqiu his fan back and gently picking up the butterfly. "Gege?" "Yes?" Hua Cheng clears his throat and says, "may I please have E-Ming back?" Xie Lian laughs which causes his husband to sigh. "There's more of those creatures ove—"

In the distance some trees fall down and the ground begins rumbling.

"San Lang, surely you can get rid of them with your own hands?" Xie Lian asks. "Easily. But it would be much faster with it." "Why are you in such a rush?" The butterfly goes completely quiet so Xie Lian assumes he's fighting the Tiger Wasps. After a few seconds of pure silence Hua Cheng says, "one dragged Wei Wuxian underground and I can't tell where he's at."

Xie Lian looks at Lan Wangji who doesn't seem all that worried. "Uhm…you can't track him?" Xie Lian asks, wondering if Lan Wangji is just in shock. "I could do it sooner so he doesn't get too far if I just had—" "Okay okay fine!" Xie Lian sets the butterfly on E-Ming and in an instant both are gone.

"Are you ready to keep going?" Lan Wangji asks. "What about Wei Wuxian?" Shen Qingqiu asks. "I think you should be more worried about the vegetation he's going to end up destroying than him," Lan Wangji says with a small smile. As if on cue a huge explosion goes off in the distance and purple guts fly everywhere. 

"He's so strong," Shen Qingqiu mutters in awe. "Oh," Lan Wangji says. "'Oh'?" Xie Lian asks. "We're going to be in trouble." "What? Why?!" Xie Lian exclaims. "Not you, just Wei Ying and I. They're not real," Lan Wangji responds. Shen Qingqiu starts to ask how but Lan Wangji explains before he can. "They're still in hibernation during this season and sleep deep into the earth, only a few layers away from the core. The reason why they're here now is for practice for disciples. Somebody made them…"

Shen Qingqiu chuckles. "You forgot such a thing? Brother Lan, you have a lot of humanity." Lan Wangji looks a little irritated but chooses to take it as a compliment.

 

Chapter 10: Who Doesn't Want to Leave?

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"No one told me anything," Shen Qingqiu replies after being asked. Wei Wuxian looks at the others and they all shake their heads too. "Gods above I should have never done this," he groans. Lan Wangji puts a hand on his back and tries to comfort him but Wei Wuxian just shrugs his hand off and walks over to somewhere else.

"I'm not in too big of a rush!" Xie Lian shouts which makes Wei Wuxian wave him over. Xie Lian happily goes over to him and walks with him until they're out of earshot from everyone else.

"Are you so fine with him saying he doesn't mind staying here for a little longer?" Luo Binghe asks in an attempt to taunt Hua Cheng but the ghost simply smiles and says, "the beings here aren't as annoying as his best friends." Shen Qingqiu fidgets with his fingers while listening. "What's wrong, Shizun? I know, this place is very boring," Luo Binghe says but Shen Qingqiu shakes his head.

"It's not that…I'm just really enjoying my time here," Shen Qingqiu mutters. Luo Binghe grabs his wrist and drags him away. He whispers something to him and Shen Qingqiu responds with something that makes Luo Binghe's eyes widen.

"How long is he going to make us continue this?" Lan Wangji asks. Hua Cheng looks at him, expecting him to say more but he doesn't. Hua Cheng decides to ignore it.

 

A little while later when everyone is settling down in their inn rooms Wei Wuxian looks through scrolls he has on him to try and find the way to safely send back beings from another world but can't find anything besides the way he already knows. Lan Wangji stays up with him which only frustrates him more.

"Bedtime, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says. Lan Wangji nods and hits the scroll out of Wei Wuxian's hand. "No! Not for me, for you," Wei Wuxian tells him. Lan Wangji doesn't do it so Wei Wuxian tries to push him down but it just ends up in Lan Wangji grabbing him and laying him down instead. He too lays down and so Wei Wuxian can't escape, hugs him tightly.

"So mean," Wei Wuxian mutters as he drifts off.

 

In the morning everyone gathers together and Shen Qingqiu reveals that someone told him that the sect leader of Nie should know how.

"Really? I had no idea he was into these things," Wei Wuxian mutters to himself. Lan Wangji and Luo Binghe both give Shen Qingqiu a look that says 'stop this soon' and the peak leader nods. "Well, I'd better send a letter so he doesn't leave Lotus Pier," Wei Wuxian says as he pulls out paper and a brush.

"Are you alright, Qingqiu?" Xie Lian asks. Shen Qingqiu doesn't respond to him, instead just glaring a the ground while squeezing his robes tightly. "Shizun, your cloth will wrinkle," Luo Binghe warns before grabbing his hands. Shen Qingqiu pulls his hand back and looks at Luo Binghe with pleading eyes. Luo Binghe shakes his head which causes the peak lord to push him away.

"What's wrong?" Xie Lian asks but Shen Qingqiu doesn't even bother to look at him before storming off.

"Is it possible he doesn't want to leave?" Wei Wuxian asks, looking at Lan Wangji. The other three turn their attention to him and he has no choice but to say something.

 

Chapter 11: Fix Things Up

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"No, he does not want to leave," Lan Wangji says, "Wei Ying can talk to him." Wei Wuxian sighs and walks over to Shen Qingqiu who decided to hide in the forest.

Wei Wuxian doesn't have to go too far and finds him very easily with his head in his knees. Wei Wuxian wonders if he's crying.

"Shen Qingqiu," Wei Wuxian says quietly. Shen Qingqiu looks up and Wei Wuxian can see that he wasn't crying but instead has a very irritated look on his face. Wei Wuxian cautiously sits next to him and throws an arm around his shoulder. "Come on, let's talk. Cultivator to cultivator." Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes with a small smile before looking away and putting his fan up.

"So…why don't you want to leave?" Wei Wuxian asks. "Because! Nobody here hates Binghe!" Shen Qingqiu exclaims. Wei Wuxian is taken aback by the sudden outburst but stays quiet when Shen Qingqiu explains. "Back in our world everyone hates him because he's a demon and even though he says it doesn't affect him there's no way I'm not. It hurts to hear people talk about him as if it's his fault he was born that way!"

Wei Wuxian pushes Shen Qingqiu's fan down and tries to look at his face to no avail. "Maybe you should talk about it with him. Also, it seems as if he does want to leave. Do you know why?" Wei Wuxian asks. "Probably jealous of your husband," Shen Qingqiu grumbles. Wei Wuxian frowns and asks what does that mean. "It means what I said it means. I like your husband—obviously not romantically—but he so easily gets jealous," Shen Qingqiu explains. Wei Wuxian can't help the laugh that leaves him mouth before patting Shen Qingqiu's back and standing up. "You should ask him about it and see what the whole reason is."

Shen Qingqiu pulls on Wei Wuxian's robe to stop the man and stands up too. "Don't go yet, I still have something to tell you." Wei Wuxian looks at him and is surprised when he sees a look of shame on the man's face. "You've been trying to figure out a way to send us all back but I've been able to send Luo Binghe and I back from the start. I should've told you this a long time ago," Shen Qingqiu says apologetically. Wei Wuxian shakes his head while chuckling and saying, "I know. A-Zhan told me. I'm not upset so don't worry about that." Shen Qingqiu sighs out of relief and asks, "Is Brother Lan upset?" "Bro—Maybe Luo Binghe is right to be jealous," Wei Wuxian mutters. "Wei Wuxian!" "I'm joking! Anyways stay here. I'm going to get Luo Binghe."

 

A few minutes later Shen Qingqiu hears footsteps and looks to see Luo Binghe walking up to him. Luo Binghe doesn't meet his eyes and is obviously pouting. Shen Qingqiu sighs and explains his side. "I don't want to return to our world. I want to stay here because nobody here hates you, I don't have to listen to people whispers about you whenever you pass. Do you understand how much I hate that? My beloved is being talked so carelessly about and there's no way to make it completely stop."

Luo Binghe looks to the side and says, "we have to go back. This one wants our wedding to be in the place where we started and I don't care about the comments people make about me, they're just jealous I have the most beautiful man in every realm in love with me." Shen Qingqiu turns a little red before putting up his fan and whispering, "are you sure? What if they try to ruin our ceremony?" Shen Qingqiu asks. "Then so be it. As long as Shizun doesn't get hurt because of them nothing will be ruined."

Shen Qingqiu smiles behind his fan but Luo Binghe can easily see it in his eyes. "Don't hide your smile," Luo Binghe says, pushing the fan down. "You touch my fan without permission. I'll punish you, but how should I?" Shen Qingqiu pretends to think before saying, "you have to stay here with me a bit longer." "That's not a punishment. Shizun is here, so I am content." Shen Qingqiu pretends to think again then says, "no kisses for 10 minutes." Luo Binghe presses his lips on Shen Qingiqu's as fast as he can before making a run for it.

Shen Qingqiu smiles and laughs to himself before running too to catch up to him.