Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

El walked into the Hopper-Byers household alone, kicking her shoes off at the front door. She still had a smile on her face from Max’s place. Spending time with her always left El happy and smiling even hours after they parted.

The house was silent. Joyce, Hopper, and Jonathan were all at their jobs, but Will was definitely home. So was Mike if the extra bike she’d seen in their front yard was any indication.

Mike and El had broken up over a month ago, deciding they were better off as friends, but they hadn’t really been friends either since then. He was still awkward around her, and she didn’t particularly understand why. But that wasn’t unusual. El never really understood a lot of the things Mike did. Will was better at that. He’d tried explaining to El why Mike seemed to be avoiding her. Something about feeling embarrassed and guilty.

El wondered if she was supposed to feel like that too.

She didn’t.

A noise from upstairs pulled El from her thoughts, and she realized she’d just been standing in the living room. Another noise followed, this time a loud laugh from Will, and El smiled. Will seemed a lot happier since she and Mike had broken up. Mike did, too.

The chatter from the boys grew more audible as she climbed the stairs. Not enough to make out what they were saying, but enough that El knew they were keeping up a steady stream of chatter.

She closed herself in her room and flopped facedown on the bed. A wide smile found its way onto her face and wouldn’t leave, not that El tried to force it off.

She liked being happy.

These days, she was really, really happy.

The Upside Down was closed (and for good this time), and everything was better than it ever had been. Hopper was back, and happier, too, now that he was with Joyce, Will and Mike were best friends again and over their weird fight, Jonathan had scored a good job as a photographer like he’d wanted, Max seemed really happy being El’s best friend, and El was overjoyed to be Max's.

Everyone was happy, and it made El happy. There was a lot to smile about.

A loud thump suddenly sounded from the next room over, and she jumped. Then it was silent.

El rolled over on the bed and sat up, listening intently. The smile slowly melted off her face when she didn’t hear anything else from Will’s room. No more giggles or chatter. Not. A. Peep.

El knew it wasn’t likely anything serious had happened. Situations similar to this one had occurred before,, and El had helplessly slipped into Will's, Jonathan's, or Hop and Joyce's room to check that they were still alive, breathing, and decidedly unmangled. And they were always okay. She reminded herself of the head-splitting pain following the closing of the final portal to the upside down. She reminded herself that Vecna was gone and the upside down was, too. She reminded herself that it probably wasn’t logical to worry that they’d missed a portal or the final puzzle piece to ending it all, and now Mike and Will were being torn to pieces right this very—

El was out of her bedroom door before she even realized it. Even if it was nothing, Will had told her before that he understood her irrational urges to check on everyone. He got them, too, sometimes.

Her hand shook as she reached out to Will's doorknob, twisting it, and pushing open the door.

She let out a loud breath as she spotted Will and Mike sitting, unharmed, on Will's bed. They rocketed away from each other at the sound, and El realized a little too late that they’d been doing more than just sitting.

Will cuts her apology off before it starts, words rushing out of his mouth, “We were just- uh- wrestling! On the bed! And, don’t worry, we’re not hurting each other. Just friendly wrestling! Yup!” His voice cracks toward the end.

El’s eyebrows pull together as she takes in their messy hair and pink lips. It’s a sort-of-familiar look on Mike, and she’s sure she recognizes it. “No? You were kissing.” 

Will’s eyes dart to Mike, who immediately backs him up, “What are you talking about? Will and I were just wrestling, like he said.”

“Why are you lying? I saw you!” She knows kissing is a private thing, but what she doesn’t know is why they’re lying about it. When she and Mike were together, they didn’t necessarily want people walking in on them making out, but they didn’t care that people knew they did .

Will’s eyes glisten with what El realizes are tears, and her frustration disappears in an instant, concern taking its place, “Will? Are you okay?”

“El, you saw me kissing Mike!” He explodes, “I’m gay!” Mike flinches at the word, and Will tenses, like he hadn’t meant to say that.

It’s silent for a moment. This is one of those times that El especially hates the fact that she was kept from socializing with normal human beings for so long. A normal girl would understand why Will was so upset.

“...What does ‘gay’ mean?”

“It means I like boys.”

She doesn’t understand what this has to do with Will being upset. “So I’m… gay?” She asks.

Will glares at the floor, “No, El. You’re a girl. Boys aren’t supposed to like boys!”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, El!” He throws his hands up into the air, “It’s not normal! Do you ever see two boys kissing on the TV?”

“No,” She says, because she hasn’t.

The tears start to fall from Will’s eyes, and El helplessly turns to Mike, who looks near tears, as well. He tenses under her gaze, his eyes falling to the carpet.

“I still don’t get it,” She admits.

Mike sighs, “Will just said it, El. It’s not normal.”

“Okay? I’m not normal, either. Girls like me aren’t on TV, either. Do you think I’m bad?”

“This is different, El.” Mike sounds annoyed.

“ Do you think I’m bad? !” She asks again, frustration building.

“No! Of course we don’t think you’re bad!” He yells.

“Do you think Will is bad?”

 Will tenses. “...No,” Mike admits.

El turns to Will, “Do you think Mike is bad?”

“No! Of course not!”

El huffs in confusion, “Then I still don’t get it.”

They stare at her like she’s grown a second head, and she doesn’t see why. El knows she’s not the best at communicating sometimes, so she tries to explain herself more, “Will likes Mike and Mike likes Will! You make each other happy! Why is that bad?”

A timid smile forms on Will’s face. “Maybe it’s not bad,” He admits, hand reaching for Mike’s, “but not many people would agree.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” Mike blurts.

El nods, “Okay.” Then she pauses, “Not even Jonathan? Or Hop? Or Joyce? They’re good people.”

“I can’t know for sure… how they’ll react,” Will says. It’s obviously been weighing on him.

“Okay.”

It was quiet. They looked at each other.

“You’re not… mad? That I like Will?” Mike asked, fidgeting with Will’s hand.

“Why would I be?”

“I- Nothing. Nevermind.”

Silence fell again.

“Okay,” El said again, standing up, “I can leave now?” 

“Wait, El-” Will slid off the bed and threw his arms around her. She returned the embrace, rubbing his back like Hop and Joyce did whenever she got upset. “Thank you,” he mumbled.

El smiled when they pulled away, then left, closing the door on her way out.

Chapter Text

Joyce left El in front of Family Video with some money and the instructions to pick out a fun movie for tonight. She had to run into the Palace Arcade next door to pick up Will and Mike from their date. (Not that Joyce knew it was a date.)

El pushed open the door, squinting up at the bell when it failed to ring, and made a note to tell Steve it was broken.

She slipped into the aisles of the store, and headed toward where Will usually picked his movies from. He’d told her that's where all the best movies in the store were conveniently shelved together. As El moved, she heard quiet chatter from the front of the store. She smiled, but tuned it out in favor of reading through movie titles and summaries. 

The Last Unicorn sounded good, so El grabbed it and made her way to the front of the store.

“Rob, I doubt she was disappointed,” She could hear Steve say.

“I totally freaked out, Steve!” Robin was loud and sounded on the edge of freaking out, so El halted behind the shelf. She’d wait until the conversation was over, or at least more calm, before walking over to the counter.

“Yeah, and I’m sure Vickie understood that. You still kissed her back, in the end. She knows you like her back, right?” El didn’t know either of them very well, but one thing she did know was that Steve and Robin were experts at calming the other down. It was one of the things she admired most about their friendship.

“But what if she doesn’t , Steve. We were interrupted, and all she’d gotten was a sloppy, half-kiss that she might not have even realized was a kiss at all. And then they separated us, and she was avoiding my eyes, and I really hope she’s not mad at me-”

“Hey. Slow down. It’s going to be okay. Vickie likes you , Robbie! That’s a good thing! And even if she does think you rejected her, all you gotta do now is tell her that you like her back.”

Someone lets out a breath. It’s probably Robin. 

“You can be surprisingly insightful, sometimes, dingus.”

“Hey-!”

“What if she’s still mad at me? After that?” Robin asks hurriedly.

There’s a pause. Then, incredulously, “If she’s still mad at you because you gave her a bad kiss–not because you’re a bad kisser, but because you like her so much you panicked… Then she’s just stupid.”

Robin let out a startled laugh, “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

El takes this as her cue to go check out, and walks out from behind the shelf. Steve’s facing toward the front of the store, so he spots her first. He tenses, eyes widening, and then Robin whirls around, tensing as well.

El’s brow furrows, but she just sets the movie and cash on the counter, “...Could I buy this?”

Steve’s gaze flickers down to the movie, but he doesn’t move to take it. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but then, “How much did you hear?”

El looks at Robin, who’s still frozen, and then back at Steve, “Robin’s crush kissed her? And she panicked? But you told Robin to ask her out?” She says it like a question, confusion clear in her voice. Was that a personal conversation?

Steve sighs and turns to Robin, concern taking over his face, “Rob, hey. You’re okay. It’s okay.” He puts his hand in hers and lets her squeeze it tightly as she refocuses.

Robin seems to take in El’s concerned expression, and a bit of tension leaves her body, “Are you… cool with it?”

“With what?”

“Y’know… me liking girls?”

And El hadn’t thought it possible for her confusion to increase, but she was very wrong, “Yes? Why would I not be?”

A series of emotions flitted across both Robin and Steve’s faces, and they exchanged a glance. “Most people think that… it’s bad for a girl to like other girls,” Robin explained.

Understanding hit El, and she would’ve grinned if not for the sad topic of conversation. “ Oh ,” El said, “It is like being gay, but for girls!”

Robin nodded slowly, “Yes. Except girls liking girls is gay, too.” El’s eyebrows furrowed, and Robin hurried to explain more, “Being gay just means liking someone of the same gender as you. So girls liking girls and boys liking boys are both gay.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“You can’t tell anyone… about me.”

El nodded.

Robin smiled at El, and El smiled back. Then she looked thoughtful for a moment. When she’d looked back on her relationship with Mike recently, El had realized a few things. She was almost sure of another.

“What does a crush feel like, Robin?”

Robin opened then closed her mouth before saying anything, “Well, you look at them and want to spend every second of every day together. Or at least an amount close to that. You want to hold their hand and make them laugh, and they fill you with this deep warmth. When they smile, it gives you butterflies. And the butterflies go crazy when they smile because of you .” Robin pauses, “It’s a bit like the way a close friendship makes you feel, but still different. You’ll probably know it when you feel it.”

El absorbs the answer and nods again, “Thank you.”

And if El thought Robin was grinning before, she is positively beaming now. Steve smiles fondly at the both of them.

The shop door swings open, and the Family Video employees notice this time. “Stupid, broken bell,” Steve mutters under his breath.

“Hi, kids!” Joyce is back, Mike and Will trailing behind her.

“Hi, Mrs. Byers!” Steve calls, “El just finished checking out.” He hands the movie and leftover change back to El. He must’ve rang it up while they were talking.

“Thank you!” She says, before following Joyce the rest of the way to the car.

“Bye, El!”

“See ya!”

Chapter Text

El was ecstatic. Tonight was the first full “trauma group” (as Will called it) sleepover since Vecna had disappeared, and she missed everyone very much. Her and Will, along with Mike, who had already been at the Byers household, had shown up at Steve’s house thirty minutes early, and now were helping him set up the last few things before the others arrived. Eddie was already there, a fact that seemed to weirdly surprise Mike, but El supposed she didn’t know either of them well enough to judge.

“Hey Eddie? Could you take El with you and grab some blankets from the guest room?”

“Of course, my liege,” Eddie said, catching El’s eye and throwing Steve a lazy salute as he left the room, “Follow me, Hopper Jr.”

El trailed behind him until they reached what she could guess was probably the guest room. Eddie made a beeline for a door on the opposite side of the room, throwing it open to reveal stacks upon stacks of blankets. Who would ever need this many blankets?

Eddie looked back at her and chuckled, “I know. Crazy, isn’t it?” She nodded. 

He turned back around, seemingly looking for something specific. “Aha!” Eddie bent over to grab it from the lowest shelf–and, as he did, El noticed a spot of something red staining the denim between his legs. Blood.

Oh god, please just be a normal cut. But if it was a normal cut, how did it get there of all places? And why was there enough blood to seep through the jeans?

“Eddie, you are hurt,” She states, eyes wide.

He turns around, about five blankets in his arms. “Huh?”

“You are hurt.”

His face scrunches up in confusion, “What? No I’m not.”

“Yes.” El says, “You are bleeding. Come on, we should tell Steve.”

She grabs Eddie’s arm, pulling him toward the door. A loud gasp sounds through the room and El whips her head around to face Eddie, whose face has gone white as a sheet.

“What?”

He doesn’t say anything, just slowly reaches back around to swipe a hand the bloody area, letting out a shaky exhale when examining the blood on his fingers.

El begins to move toward the door again, but Eddie leaps in front of her, blocking it.

“No, no. We are not telling anyone, and we are absolutely not telling Harrington.”

“You are hurt,” El repeats, “You need help.”

She reaches for the doorknob, but Eddie blocks her again, giving her a tight smile, “I can assure you that I am just dandy and not at all hurt.”

El glares at him, “You are bleeding.”

“I know, Supergirl, but I told you: I am fine. You gotta trust me on this one.” Eddie’s pleading, she realizes, desperation clear in his eyes. It’s a bit of a shock, because, while El hasn’t known him for long at all, she can tell this is out of character for him. It’s enough to get her to simultaneously drop the glare and the arm reaching for the knob behind him. She steps back and relief flashes across Eddie’s features.

“If you are not hurt, then why are you bleeding?”

“Y’know, that’s a little bit of a personal question that I don’t feel comfortable answering.” He grins like it’s a joke–He’s trying to act like it’s one–but his nerves show in the way he rocks back and forth, fiddling with his rings.

El gives him a deadpan look, “Tell me or I will not believe you, and I will tell Steve you are hurt.”

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut for a second and then opens them with a sigh, “Okay. I will tell you after I go to the bathroom, as long as you stay right here .” Eddie narrows his eyes at her, and she plops down onto the bed obediently.

He seems to take that as agreement and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. El can hear him yelling through the thin wood.

“I’m going upstairs to steal your luxurious, rich-boy clothes, Harrington! There is no way I’m falling asleep in these jeans!”

She can barely make out the irritated response of, “Bring your own pants next time, Munson!”

El lets her eyes wander as she waits for Eddie to return. The room she’s in has cream-colored wallpaper with blue stripes, and a giant wooden dresser sits in the corner of the room. They’re the only things in the room besides the bed she’s sitting on and the closet full of blankets.

The bed creaks as she falls onto her back, her legs still dangling off the edge. El lets out a sigh. She stays like that until the door creaks open and Eddie slips back inside.

He won’t look at her but tries to hide the fact, his gaze jumping around the room. El pushes herself back into a sitting position and scoots over, leaving room for him on the edge of the bed. He hesitates for a moment  before taking the seat, turning halfheartedly towards her, fidgeting with his rings all the while. It’s silent.

“Why are you nervous?” El asks, “You said you are fine.”

He lets out a pained breath–His hand never stopping from where it twirls the skull ring around his finger–and says, “I wasn’t lying. Don’cha worry about me; Eddie Munson is in tip-top condition.” He pauses, “I just… telling you is the safest option, because it’s either that or tell Harrington … which honestly sounds like one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard. And that’s saying something, cause I’ve heard his ideas.”

El just stares at him, and he exhales once more, like he’s bracing himself.

“I’m on my period.”

El’s eyebrows knit together and she’s quiet for a moment. “...Do boys have periods, too? Hop said they do not.”

“Not most boys. I’m a bit of a special case. Do you…” He winces, “Do you know what ‘transgender’ means?” 

She shakes her head.

“Well. It pretty much means that I, a boy, was born in a girl’s body.”

“Like you had–?”

“Boobs? Yes. Have , actually–” He cuts himself off as El’s expression only grows more confused, and pulls down the neckline of his shirt to showcase a fabric underneath. “This dandy little thing squishes them down so you can’t tell.”

She seems satisfied with that answer, so Eddie continues, “So, yes, I have boobs… among other things.” He rushes through the words like they pain him to say, and El guesses they probably do. It must be uncomfortable to live in the wrong body. She says as much, and he looks at her, something akin to awe in his eyes as he nods.

El doesn’t really understand that look but doesn’t ask. “Why do you not look like a girl?” Is what she asks instead.

Eddie’s silent for a second–probably trying to think of how to word his answer–before responding. “Have Joyce or Hope told you about puberty?”

She nods.

“Well, some really nice doctors give me this chemical that boys get naturally during puberty, the lucky bastards, and it pretty much tricks my body into thinking I’m a boy.”

“But you are a boy,” El says, correcting his phrasing.

Eddie’s eyes widen and his jaw drops, and El begins to worry she overstepped.

She has this habit of correcting people when they say something wrong, and she honestly hadn’t noticed–and probably never would’ve noticed it–until Mike had snapped at her. He said that it was rude and made her seem like a know-it-all. But El never meant it like that.

Her brows furrow as Eddie remains quiet. Maybe she was just wrong? “Right? That is what you said.”

He seems to shake himself out of it, “...Yeah. Yep. Yes, I am. I’m a boy.”

“Did I say something bad?”

Eddie winces, “No, not at all. I just… expected you to react a little… different, to be honest. Like angry or disgusted or, y’know, the rest of that jazz.”

“I do not feel any of those.”

He lets out a breath, visibly relaxing and leaning back onto the heels of his hands.

“I have one more question.”

“Shoot.”

“If you can be a boy born in a girl body, then what makes someone a boy?”

Eddie blinks, obviously not expecting an entirely different question, “You just feel it inside of you, I guess. I pretty much always knew.”

“How am I supposed to know which one I am?” El asks.

He gapes at her again, checking her face for any hint of mockery, and shaking himself out of his shock when he finds none. “Well, which one do you feel like?”

She thinks about it for a moment, closing her eyes and weighing the words in her head: Boy and Girl. Neither of them hold much meaning now, not that they ever did to her. They’re just simple, empty words. El opens her eyes and shrugs, “I do not care what they call me.”

Eddie nods. He looks awkward. Like he has no clue how the conversation got here and where it’s going next.

“You can’t tell anyone about me,” He says finally.

“Okay,” El says. “People do not like this, either, then?”

Eddie’s brow creases, “Either?”

“People also do not like gay people… Is that unrelated?”

“Oh. Yeah. People do not particularly… approve of this, either.” He laughs bitterly, sarcastically adding under his breath, “That’s two things I got going for me.”

She hears it anyway. “You are gay?”

“Yeah.”

El hums, “Cool.”

He nods, smiling softly, “Thanks, Supergirl.”