Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Should you be up yet?”

The words were half stifled by a yawn prompting Kanan to lift an eyebrow at their speaker. “I could say the same to you.” He retorted. “I know you hit your head jumping off the transport last night.”

Sabine wasn’t a blusher but he caught the embarrassed flick of her eyes over his shoulder before she straightened up. “I’m alright. I was wearing my helmet.”

“Beskar doesn’t protect against blunt force.” Kanan told her. Alright so it probably did but near death experiences tended to put one in an overprotective mood. Stepping forward he ran a hand through her hair, checking for bumps.

“Stop that! The color is still setting!” 

Pulling back Kanan noticed a very faint streak of purple on his palm. “Er sorry. Hey, where’d you even find dye here anyway?” 

Sabine’s eyes did the flicker again. “It’s..mostly not dyed actually. The brown’s as close to my natural color as I can get I think. And the purple comes from a powder one of the locals made. She was a weaver before the empire took her land so she can mix up all kinds of colors from flowers and things. It doesn’t hold nearly as well as the chemical dye but I kind of like it.”

Kanan studied her for a moment, marveling at the change she’d made from an angry teenager to the determined young woman in front of him. In many ways she was still the same Sabine he’d always known, but there was a maturity behind her drive now. And the fact she was willing to be seen with a more natural appearance, one that presumably resembled her birth family, filled him full of pride and relief. It was an unexpected change, but a good one.   

“Are you gonna say something or just stand there staring all day?”

Ah, there was his girl. “It suits you,” he offered quietly. 

A shy smile playing on her lips. “Thank you. I’m…I’m glad you can see it.”

“Me too.”

Yes, a very good change indeed.

“Morning Jarrus.”

“Morning Kallus.”

Kanan let out a long breath, stretching carefully as he looked around the common room. “Are Ezra and Zeb not up yet?”

The other man avoided his gaze. “Don’t know, I haven’t gone looking for them.”

“Whub, Whub.” Chopper protested sharply.

“What do you mean he’s lying?”

“I most certainly am not!” 

If droids had eyebrows Kallus was certain the little orange menace that was Spectre 3 would have raised one at him. “Whub hmm, blur whub. Whub hub-”

“That’s not what happened.”

“He’s not going to let it go. You might as well tell me.”

“Fine, but just so you know, it wasn’t my idea!”

Kanan sighed. “You should know by now those two don’t need anyone else to give them ideas. Now, come on, out with it.”

“But-”

“Alexsandr.”

“Whomp!”

“Alright!” The ex-imperial rubbed a hand across his face. “We intercepted an order from Governor Price last night. She told one of her staff to get the gift she had for Grand Admiral Thrawn to her shuttle. She wanted to depart the moment they got word of his arrival in the system.”

“Gift?”

“She didn’t specify but she said it was the one thing that could curry some favor with the admiral after the destruction of the Tie Defender factory. The one good outcome from the whole disaster. Ezra was convinced it had something to do with you. Some proof of your death, or your supposed death seeing as, well, no one found your body.”

Kanan thought hard. What could the governor possibly have found…? The answer hit him like a speeder to the gut. “My lightsaber.”

“How could she have gotten her hands on that?”

“From the Noghri bodyguard Thrawn has. I fought with him during the rescue mission and he knocked it from my hand. Given the circumstances I didn’t think it was worth taking the chance of getting it back.” The Jedi sighed, clenching his fists to avoid punching something. “Apparently Ezra thought differently.” Rounding on Chopper he ground out, “You knew all about this. Why didn’t you come to Hera or I about it?”

The droid backed up rapidly, holding out his manipulators defensively. He let out a series of high pitched squawks and shrieks that both men cringed away from. 

“What did he say?” Kallus asked, not having quite picked up on the droid’s frenzied babble. He instantly regretted the question as Kanan’s dark look turned on him. 

“When did they leave?” 

“The transmission came in just before midnight, you and Hera were already in bed. I thought I’d gotten them to agree not to do anything before they could talk to you but when I knocked on their door at about dawn and they’d already left.” He reached out a hand to stop the Jedi from activating his commlink. “They would have reached the capital an hour ago if they left when I think they did. There is nothing we can do that won’t put them in more danger.”

Grinding his jaw so hard Kallus winced in sympathy, Kanan spat out. “I’m going to kill them.”

“You can kill Ezra, Zeb’s mine.” At Chopper’s curious beep he clarified. “I’ve been with you lot for almost a year now and some days I still think he’s the only one keeping me alive.” 

“Whup?”

“No, not you. People on Lothal have a long memory, and I was head of the occupation force at one point.”

Chopper extended his shock probe in what Kanan assumed was going to be a demonstration of his twisted sense of loyalty, but then Kallus' wrist com beeped, displaying his old Fulcrum insignia. The blond man gave a sigh of relief. 

“They’re on their way back. Mission success, no injuries.” He glanced up at the still glowering Jedi. “Yet.”

“Yet.” Kanan agreed. “I’m going to go check on Hera. Let me know the moment they’re back.”

“Should you be up?” The melodious voice that had captured his heart all those years ago queried as he entered the room.

“You’re the second person to say that to me this morning.” 

Hera cocked her head at his exasperated tone. “Your body did just go through a traumatic experience Love.”

“So did yours,” he countered softly leaning over to brush a kiss to her cheek.

She smiled tentatively, pulling him down to sit beside her. “I’m alright. I had a follow up with . what we have that passes for a med droid yesterday. It said my bio scans match up to my pre-capture ones in every respect. Well,” she frowned slightly, “every respect but one.”

Kanan swallowed hard. Without a word he hesitantly reached out a hand which she took and carefully pressed against her abdomen. His eyes shut of their own accord and the Force essence in the room instantly brightened. A tiny spark of life, more brilliant than even the light of the holocron, bloomed beneath his palm. The person it would become fully formed if impossibly small. 

“I…I thought I sensed something before but I couldn’t be sure…” he opened his eyes to see hers swimming with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” 

“That day when,” He gestured vaguely between them. “I just wanted…I never intended to push you into showing more than you were ready to. What happened was selfish and now you're paying the price.”

Hera shook her head sharply, turning to take his face in her hands. “Kanan Jarrus, you listen and you listen good. Have you ever been allowed to so much as put your arm around me without my consent?”

“No, but-”

“So please do not insult me by implying that I was in any way coerced into helping you make a person, or that I was ignorant of the possibility. That I’ve ever been ignorant of the possibility. We haven’t exactly been careful all these years you know. This could have happened at any time. No sense beating ourselves up over it now.”

“Sorry. I- You’re right. Sorry.”

She glared a moment longer before continuing in a softer tone. “This child’s life is a result of a decision we both made. A slightly irresponsible one perhaps, but the same could be said about all our other kids. I don’t regret them and I don’t regret this one. I’m no Jedi, but I’m also not jaded enough not to acknowledge that some things might be meant to happen.”

“You really mean that?” His breath caught and he stared at her with so much love and hope in his eyes she nearly teared up. “You want this for your future? You want to have a family with me?”

“I already have a family with you, Love,” she said, kissing him playfully on the nose.

He wasn’t going to be distracted though. “You know what I mean. The other kids could have their own lives at any point. This one requires a minimum 18 year commitment. That would be a lot easier if we were committed to each other. I need to know if that is something you’re willing to do. Even with…with the war?”

She sighed but nodded firmly. “Yes. It won’t be easy, there are risks and sacrifices we’re both going to have to make to give this life its best chance of survival. And I admit some of them I am not looking forward to and will curse when the day comes they get here, but the good days will outweigh the bad.”

“You can’t actually know that.”

She fixed him with her trademark ‘the galaxy will bend to my will or else’ stare and Kanan found himself smiling. “Okay. If you’re sure?”

“Yes. I know it’s not what I’ve led you to believe I wanted. I never allowed myself to want it. But now that I’ve been given the chance? Yes. I want this baby. And I want it with you.” 

“With me. For forever or as long as we have? Officially?” 

She smiled back, resting her head on his chest. “For forever or as long as we have. Officially.” Her brow wrinkled slightly. “Though I…I don’t know if we can be official, before Lothol is free. I mean it’s one thing to say a vow in front of our family but for there to be any kind of registration…”

Kanan tightened his grip on her gently. “We’ll figure it out. Ryder or Rex might be able to help. But if it has to wait until after, it has to wait. The important thing is it will happen.” 

She squeezed him back. “It will. You have my word.”

They held each other in silence for a long time before she tilted her head up, kissing him soundly.

“What was that for?”

“Payment in advance for making me caf.”

“Should you be drinking that?”

“It was the first question I asked the med droid. It hemmed and hawed a bit but finally said one cup per day is acceptable. Two on occasion.”

Kanan decided against mentioning that Hera had been known to consume two or three entire pots of caf semi-regularly. Presumably that was one of those sacrifices she mentioned she was going to hate before long. Sensing her irritability at the thought, he beat a hasty retreat to the galley, cutting through the common room where a very sheepish looking Zeb was getting thoroughly berated by a very angry Kallus while Chopper looked on with glee. 

“Mine’s here, yours in there.” Was the comment thrown Kanan direction along with a stiff point in the direction he was already heading.

Letting out a quiet groan the Jedi entered the galley. Why couldn’t the galaxy just send him one disaster at a time? 

His apprentice was clearly oblivious to the inner turmoil he’d caused his mentor, standing by their small counter whistling contentedly to himself while he sorted through a bowl of fruit. He turned at the sound of the door opening. 

“Kanan! Have I got a surprise for you!”

All at once Kanan’s brain nopped out on him. Cutting the kid off with a gesture, he ground out, “Go to your room.”

Ezra shrank back. “But I-”

“I know exactly what you did and rest assured we will be having a very thorough discussion about it. But I am not ready for that yet. So you are going to go to your room, sit on your bunk, and do nothing until I get there.”

His padawan, who was a blusher, flushed hotly. “I was only trying-”

“I said we’re not talking about it yet. Now go.”

“But I haven’t showered. And I’m hungry!”

“You’ve smelled worse,” Kanan muttered. Reaching over to the bowl on the counter, he plucked the smallest Jogan from the pile. “Here.” 

“I’ll eat this in two bites.”

“You can have more after we’ve talked. Now do I have to tell you again?” 

Defiant attitude tempered if not completely deflated, Ezra gave a small head shake and left the room. His apprehension over the coming lecture, and convection that he was in the right, were broadcasting through the force. 

Doing his best to ignore his son’s distress, which always pricked at him no matter how angry he was, the Jedi finished making his lover’s beverage of choice, taking care to brew it just the way she liked, and headed to the cockpit. 

“Ymm,” Hera sighed, taking a long sip of the drink. “Care to let me know what all the commotion is about?”

“Ezra and Zeb decided to go off on an entirely foolhardy and unnecessary mission that I will probably be eternally grateful for in a few days but right now I want to strangle them both for.”

“Were they successful?” Hera’s force signature flared with concern but not yet distress. Wanting to keep it that way, he chose his words with care.

“It would appear so. They got what they were after, and even managed to get away without detection if what Zeb was sputtering is true. Kallus and Chopper have him handled so I don’t think there’ll be any lessons left to teach there.”

His other half looked torn between a cringe and a laugh but she merely asked, “What about Ezra?”

“I haven’t talked to him yet, but he knows I’m not happy. Might have scared him a little actually.”

“Which you’ll apologize for I hope?” The ‘I won’t stay with a man who won’t apologize to his children’ went unsaid but Kanan heard it loud and clear. 

He nodded. “I will. But he’s not getting away with this. That stubborn, caring heart of his is going to get him killed one day.”

“Like father, like son.”

Kanan glared at her smirk but she didn’t relent. “You know I’m right. And it’s going to be true two times over before long, so you’d better get used to it now.” 

A flash of warmth hit Kanan’s heart at the thought. He shook his head. “I’m going to be a father. That’s going to take a while to sink in.”

Hera put her cup down and shifted over onto his lap. “Whatever is going through your head about not being good enough needs to stop right now.”

“It’s not just me. We’re not ready for this. We have nothing a baby needs and we have no experience in raising one. I’m not trying to be difficult, it’s just facts.”

Hera nodded slowly, bringing one hand up to rest on his cheek. “True. But it’s also a fact that we have several months to get everything a baby needs. Shara’s due soon so I’m sure she’ll be willing to give us whatever her baby’s outgrown by the time we’ll need it. And when it comes to raising a baby may I point out that we already know how to raise teenagers which is arguably more difficult.”

Kanan chuckled. “Well at least infants can’t run away when you’re not looking and then backtalk you when you catch them.” 

“See? You’re already thinking of the positives. There will be a lot of mistakes I’m sure, but we’ll manage.” 

“Yeah, I guess we will.” 

“And we won’t be alone. You remember that old saying that children aren’t raised by their parents, they’re raised by their village?” He nodded. “I don’t know how much of that is true but I know I couldn’t ask for a better village then the one we have. Our child has siblings, uncles and aunts, friends, all people that will be there for him or her even if the worst should happen to one of us. We can do this Love. I know we can.”

Kanan didn’t speak for a moment - he couldn’t. The outpouring of determination and hope and trust that underlay every word she said…Force he loved this woman!

Leaning in for another long kiss he felt all his apprehension slowly begin to fade away. With Hera in his life he could do anything.

“Thank you,” he whispered when they parted. 

“You’re welcome, dear. Now if you’re through worrying for the moment there’s one very important thing I’d like you to do for me.”

“Oh yeah?” Kanan’s heart picked up speed again at her secretive smile. “What is it?” He asked, putting on his most charming persona. 

A large mug was promptly shoved in his face. 

“Refill.”

Chapter Text

What was taking Kanan so long? Ezra thought as he rolled over onto his side for the fifth time, staring at the door of the cabin he’d been exiled to. His master wasn’t one for postponing discipline, but he’d left Ezra alone in his room for more than an hour. He’d been more distracted than usual when they’d crossed paths in the galley earlier, and the sharp way he’d spoken had caught the padawan off guard. Kanan hadn’t shouted at him in ages. ‘Course he hadn’t gone and broken almost every rule that had ever been set for him in a long time but still…

Just when he was considering if mutiny was worth the chance of finding out exactly what was going to happen next, a knock sounded. Quickly dropping off his bunk and onto his feet Ezra took a deep breath and waved the door open. 

Kanan - no surprise - stood in the hallway with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. Also not a surprise. 

“May I come in?” he asked, a little tentatively Ezra noted. That was a bit of a surprise. Kanan was never cruel, but breaking the rules was always met with firm correction. Still he nodded, waiting quietly as his master entered and looked him in the eye - truly looked him in the eye which was still a marvel Ezra didn’t know who to thank for. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“I just wanted- what?”

Kanan rolled his eyes. “Don’t make me repeat it Kid.” 

Ezra opened and closed his mouth a few times, now even more unbalanced when it came to reading his master’s demeanor. He couldn’t help the small jump he gave when Kanan’s hand landed on his shoulder. 

“That doesn’t mean you don’t owe Hera and I an explanation. I know you’re not stupid Ezra. Why would you do something like this?”

Dark blue eyes flicked upward to meet his. “Because some things are worth the risk.” 

“I agree with you in principle,” Kanan said after a moment’s consideration, “but possessions are never going to be worth the lives of the people I love. I would march onto Thrawn’s ship and hand him my lightsaber myself before I would ever ask one of you to do something so completely reckless and irresponsible.”

Frown was as prominent as ever Ezra snarked back. “And I would be following right behind you to snatch it back. That filthy kri-”

“Watch it.”

“- Imperial has no more right to your saber than he does Sabine’s art or anything else on this planet. Price has holos in her office, you know? Of other things she’s ‘gifted’ to Thrawn and other admirals and senators. Things that belong to my people! Honestly you can’t deviate from the mission in order to retrieve Hera’s Kalikori and tell me I’m wrong to do this. Besides, didn’t the Jedi always teach your lightsaber is your life?”

Ezra’s taunting smirk vanished as Kanan’s fingers dug into his shoulder. “They were wrong. You are my life. Hera and our family are my life. A lightsaber is replaceable, Ezra. You are not. Do you really think I could ever bring myself to pick up a worthless hunk of metal knowing one of my kids was the price I paid for it?”   

Tugging himself free, Ezra backed away, sitting down heavily on Zeb’s bunk. After a moment Kanan joined him, reaching over to lift Ezra’s chin so he could look his boy in the eye. “No sacrifice is too big if it means keeping you safe. And it scares me a little that you can’t seem to get that through your head.”

“How do you think I feel?” His padawan whispered. “No sacrifice too big…I’ve watched you almost die so many times in the name of keeping me safe. Is it really so wrong for me to take a calculated risk in an effort to protect you in return? Why can’t you see you’re worth that much at the very least?”

Reaching into his pack Ezra pulled out the object that was the cause of all this fuss. Taking Kanan’s hand he placed the lightsaber inside it, closing the other man’s fingers over it almost reverently. 

“This isn’t about a hunk of metal. It never was.”

Try as he might, Kanan found he couldn’t hold onto both the weapon and his frustration at the same time. Letting the latter slip away, if only for the moment, he inspected the lightsaber carefully, flicking the blade on to bathe the room in a soft cerulean glow.

“I didn’t know how much I missed seeing this.”

“Here.” Ezra unhooked his own blade, adding a brilliant green to complement the blue. “They go good together don’t you think?”

A short time later Kanan powered down the weapon and held out an arm in invitation. Ezra happily obliged, scooting across the bunk to return the half hug.   

Holding the younger man close, Kanan blew out a long breath. “I have to admit, I’m not sure how to handle this one, Ezra. I’m angry and scared and proud and grateful. And I don’t know what to do about it. Got any ideas?”

He felt Ezra hum against his collarbone before offering, “We could, you know, forget it ever happened?” 

“Mm tempting. But that might be seen as permission to do something like this again.”

“I’d do it again with or without permission. They’ve made enough of a trophy out of my planet. I won’t let them make one out of my family.”

“I know.” Kanan murmured softly, running a hand through his child’s hair. “Are you sure you were undetected?”

“Positive. Sabine hacked together a rotating scrambler code that we fed into all the vid screens and motion sensors -”

“Sabine was in on this?” Ezra gave him a look. “Right, of course she was.”

“Anyway, we pumped that aerosol sedative Vizago stole last raid into all the corridors around Price’s office and Zeb clubbed the creepy gray dude Thrawn left here so hard he won’t wake up for a week. And even if he does, we shoved him in a maintenance closet and triple locked it. We didn’t get distracted smashing anything and we didn’t leave any calling cards behind. If they figure out who was there it won’t be our fault.”

“They’ll figure it out, you can bet on that.”

“So what? They have no more clues to our location than they did before we went in and the loss of whatever slight advantage we might gain from them thinking you’re dead doesn’t equal forcing you to function without the one tool that’s an extension of who you are.”

“I functioned just fine without it for fourteen years,” Kanan felt obliged to point out. He was saved a no doubt scathing riposte by a knock on the door. 

“Come in,” Ezra called, not breaking eye contact with his mentor.  

A purple haired head stuck its way into the room. “If you two could call a truce for a moment, you need to come outside right now.”

The two stood and followed the mandalorian, Kanan catching her by the arm. “Don’t think you aren’t going to hear about this too.” 

Sabine blinked at him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Save it. Ezra already told me you were involved.”

That earned Ezra a punch to the arm. “I told you to leave me out of it!” She hissed.

“I had to tell him! He’d never believe we could pull everything off undetected without your help.”

“Well, that’s true I guess.”

Further bickering was stalled by their arrival at the cargo bay. The ramp was open and a large white Loth wolf was standing at the end of it. It was Kanan’s first time laying physical eyes on the creature and the sight was one quarter enthralling, three quarters terrifying. Particularly when it caught sight of him in return. The wolf’s eyes seemed to narrow momentarily before it turned its head away with a huff. 

Taking that as a sign he was now dismissed from whatever their plan for him had been, Kanan stayed back as the wolf approached Ezra, lowering its head to nudge a flat rock in his padawan’s direction.   

Ezra knelt silently, studying the stone. He soon looked up and rested a hand on the wolf’s snout. “I appreciate the gift and all but what exactly does this mean?”

“Mission.” The wolf intoned. 

“What mission?”

“Save home.” 

“Yes, I’m here to save Lothal. We all are.”

The wolf shook its head slowly. “ Home,” it said again, a sense of…pleading? Longing? Pouring out from deep within the force. 

“Kanan, what's he talking about?”

“I’m not sure Ezra. The wolves are bonded to the Force of Lothal but it seems to want more than that.”

“Could he mean something to do with the Jedi’s home?” Hera asked. 

“For most Jedi that would’ve been the temple-”

“The temple! It has to be. It’s the only other place we’ve seen with paintings like this.” Ezra turned to the wolf who was shifting in agitation. “The empire is threatening the Jedi temple, and you want us to stop them.”

The wolf snarled then gave a short howl. Immediately three other wolves, one equal in size to the white and two a good deal smaller appeared. The white lowered its snout to the ground with an impatient snort. 

“You want us to stop them right now.” Ezra deduced, grasping the wolf fur to pull himself up. 

“Wait all of you,” Hera spoke up as Sabine and Zeb moved to follow his lead.  

The remaining wolf padded over, pausing close by. Cocking its head, the young creature leaned down and sniffed her before turning to its leader with an inquiring growl. 

“What are you whoa-” Ezra barely kept himself astride his new companion as the wolf rose and sharply turned his back on the two lead spectres. The others immediately followed suit, the small wolf that had approached Hera changing course to snap a highly displeased Chopper up in its jaws.

“Hey now, if you want our help we need to be together!”  

The wolf ignored the young Jedi’s protests and without warning the group took off at top speed across the plains, vanishing from sight in an instant. 

Hera recovered first, shaking her partner’s shoulder. “Kanan, fury beasts just ran off with our family, are you really going to just stand there?!”

Muttering a few choice words he pretended Ezra hadn’t taught him, he scrambled up the ramp after her. “What are you doing?”

She didn’t pause. “Going after them, what do you think I’m doing?”

“Whatever the wolves want, we were left out of it for a reason.”

This time she did turn, stopping so quickly he nearly stumbled into her. “Before you spout off that all is as the force wills it, let me remind you it almost willed me into becoming a single parent. I don’t know everything, but I know when my children are going to need me.”

“You don’t know everything?”

She was not amused. “Are you coming or not?”

With a deep inhale Kanan nodded. “Of course I’m with you. But might I suggest we take the Phantom? Smaller, less noticeable? And the temple is several hours from here. We need to be prepared that whatever is going to happen could very well be over by the time we catch up.”

Hera blinked quickly, irritation and alarm warring for dominance in her signature. “Whatever we’re facing, we face it together. That’s all I want.”

“Then let’s go.”

And Force help me because I haven’t the slightest idea what’s going on.

Chapter Text

“Didn’t your mother ever warn you about your face freezing in a frown if you wear one too long?”

“No.”

“Right.” 

Fingers tapped her beskar plated knee as Sabine searched for the words to cheer her moody parent. 

“I should have been with him.” Said moody parent mumbled. 

She sighed, looking over at Hera who shrugged sadly. It had been an entire day since Ezra had emerged from what remained of the Jedi temple, urgently shouting at her for the answer to seal the entrance. A day since he’d collapsed without a word as to what he’d seen or heard inside. A day for each and every one of them to blame themselves for the situation. 

He was alive, that much they knew. His vitals were stable and Kanan claimed his Force signature was in balance. Well as balanced as Ezra got, Sabine thought to herself. If she had to pick five words to describe her younger brother, balance wouldn’t be one of them. Manda, it wouldn’t be in the top fifteen. 

“Are you sure he’s going to be okay?” Hera asked, for the third time in the past hour. 

Kanan threw up his hands helplessly and Sabine’s gut churned with guilt. She’d been right there, by his side the entire time. If the galaxy hadn’t conspired for that one trooper to look in their direction at precisely the wrong moment…

“Kanan I…”

“It wasn’t your fault Sabine.”

“But-”

“No buts.” Kanan ran a hand through his ridiculously short hair, frowning when the unconscious habit didn’t feel as it usually did. I’m going to regret cutting it till the day I die. “Can you tell me anything more about what happened?”

“Nothing I haven’t told you before. He touched the temple wall and a ring of painted wolves appeared. They started moving in a circle faster and faster and then he was just gone. Then a patrol leader showed up and distracted me. I knocked him out but it was a split second too late for me to follow.”

“Knowing Jedi nonsense you probably wouldn’t have been able to anyway,” Zeb put in. Kanan glared at the lasat but didn’t disagree.  

“Sitting here won’t change what happened.” Hera spoke up. “Nor will it make Ezra wake up any faster. The temple aside, our mission to liberate Lothal hasn’t changed. We should get back to the next step.”

“Here.” Kallus approached them, passing mugs around. “I figured you’d be needing more Caf.” 

“Ah,” Hera shifted in her seat, setting hers down without a sip. 

“It’s not as good as Kanan’s but it won’t kill you.” The captain tried to joke.

“I’m sure.”

“Mmm, it is good Hera.” Sabine encouraged.

“That’s alright. I’ve had enough today..” Her throat tightened, forcing her to clear it roughly. Lack of any sleep the past 24 plus hours was beginning to weigh on her and the crew staring at her like she’d grown a second head wasn’t helping things. Silence dragged out and her eyes began to blur. Of course that didn’t escape anyone’s notice. 

“Are you alright General?”

“Hera, what is it?”  

“What’s wrong?” 

“Excuse me.” She did not run from the room, she marched with purpose. Kanan ran. It’s the only way he could have caught up when she was two steps from her cabin door.

“Hera.” Strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her in. The tears spilled out of their own accord.

“Kanan,” she hiccupped. 

“Shh it’s alright. I’m here.”

Curse that man. Since when was the sound of his voice alone enough to make her bawl? 

“This is impossible.”

“What is?” He asked, dropping his volume to match hers.  

“This. I thought people exaggerated that pregnant women overreacted to everything. Apparently not.”

“Hera, you are not overreacting. And even if that was true, it won’t last forever.”

“It’ll last long enough. I can’t be more than,” she did a quick count, “four weeks gone at the most. How are we going…I can’t fall apart at stupid things. Not if I’m going to get us both through this.”

“Hey.” Voice still soft, her partner lowered her to her bed, ever so gently. When did we come inside? “There’s nothing stupid about worrying about our kid. And there’s nothing stupid about being sad or irritated when an element of normalcy is taken from you.”

“There is so.”

“Is not,” he retorted like a child. “Remember what I told you about cutting my Padawan braid? My life literally depended on not being recognized as a Jedi and I would sooner have chopped off my arm than let it go.” 

She wanted to point out that neither her life nor the baby’s depended on giving up anything in particular, but the effort didn’t seem worth it. She had to concede he was right for the most part. Dealing with any change in the routine her mental health had depended on for so long was always hard. And this was just the beginning. There was no way she was going to get through it alone. 

As if reading her mind, Kanan scooted closer and dug his fingers into the base of her neck. She let out an involuntary hiss as her muscles protested his probing but he persisted and soon the storm - and headache - brewing in her skull began to fade. 

“Did you ever think about giving Ezra a braid?” She asked after a while, trying not to slur. Force, she was so tired!

Kanan chuckled. “I told him about them once. Let’s just say I didn’t have to be his master to know what he thought of the idea. Just as well. I don’t think the look would suit him.”

“Maybe it’ll suit our child.” 

He cocked a brow. “That’s assuming they even have hair.”

“I hope they do. I’ve always loved your hair. Well,” she wrinkled her nose. “I used to.” 

“I get it, I get it.” He leaned over to kiss her. “It’ll be back to normal before the baby comes, I promise. In the meantime I do have other charms.” 

“Um hmm.” She shoved him back. “If I have my way, your charm s are going to be kept to yourself until this child’s second birthday. I’m not risking this happening again too soon.”

Kanan’s mock pouting was as adorable as it was annoying. This time it only lasted a few seconds as he thought through what she said. “So you would do this again someday?”

She blinked slowly, considering. “Well, I don’t know. Depends on how nauseous and bloated I get with this one. But I… I don’t think I like the idea of an only child. And as you said the other kids could move on from us anytime. I don’t know. I just thought…I don’t know what I thought. Would you hate the idea?”

He didn’t answer for a while, one hand on his chin the other rubbing circles on her knee. When he met her eyes, his were full of such sincerity and love it nearly set her off crying again. Infernal hormone fluctuations! 

“I’ll be honest, I never thought we would ever get the chance to raise a family of our own. I wanted it, more than anything, but I never saw a way you’d.. I never saw a way that it would work. So as far I’m concerned even if Spectre Seven is as big as our number ever gets I will be the happiest man in the known universe. And if someday there’s Eight or Nine or Ten-”

“Stop counting!”

“-then there is nothing that will change that feeling. Except to make it stronger.”

Swallowing fresh tears she sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Have I mentioned I love you?” 

His smile was obvious in his answer. “You may have. I’m not opposed to hearing it again though.”

She smiled back, resting her lips against his prickly jaw. “I would but we really should be getting  back.” Unable to hold back a laugh at his whine she pecked a kiss to his lips and got to her feet. 

“What you really should be doing is resting.” He argued, standing and pulling her back against him.

She shook her head determinedly. “Later.”

“Hera.”

“When we know Ezra’s okay,” she stated firmly.

He sighed. He loved her but why did she have to be so stubborn? “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“I’m sure you will.”

Chapter Text

As annoying as it could be at times, Hera would forever bless Kanan’s access to the Force for granting them advantages like this one. Of being forewarned of a family member’s return to consciousness allowing them to be by that person’s side, ready and waiting to provide anything that would ease the no doubt unpleasant transition. 

“Ezra?” Kanan asked in a low tone, sitting on the edge of his bunk. “That’s it kid, come back to us.” 

Ezra’s eyes cracked open then slammed shut again. Hera quickly reduced the cabin lights to minimum before Kanan coaxed Ezra back to awareness again.

“Kanan? You’re really here?”

The adults exchanged a worried look.

“I’m here kiddo. I’m not going anywhere.”

“It worked?” Ezra whispered, almost whimpered really.

Kanan’s brow puckered at his son’s tear filled eyes. “What worked?” He carefully wrapped an arm around the boy, helping him sit up. “What happened in there buddy?”

Ezra shook his head, burying his face in hands, breathing deeply. 

Hera couldn’t take it anymore. Crossing the room, she knelt on Ezra’s other side. “Hey, hey, easy now.” She murmured softly, gently taking his hands in hers. “Talk to us sweetheart. You’re safe here. We can help you.”

“There’s nothing you can do.” Her child answered, quietly but firmly. “Not when it comes to the temple. We have…I have to think. How long have I been out?”

“About 30 hours.” Kanan answered. 

Ezra nodded slowly. “We don’t have a lot of time. Are Wollfe and Gregor still on Seelos?”

“What? Oh, yes. I believe so.”

“We’ll need their help. Who else do we know? I can get a hold of Hondo. He’d do anything for me. Melch too if they're still together. Jai and Iron squadron are already here.” He fell quiet for a while, leaving Kanan and Hera desperate for answers but afraid to disturb whatever strategy was rapidly forming in their kid’s mind. “We could use at least one more person. Sabine?”

“You’re awake!” The mandalorian’s voice sounded eager through Ezra’s com.

“Yeah. Listen do you-?”

“Hold that thought.”

Footsteps were soon heard racing through the crew cabins. The door opened and Sabine rushed into the room, Zeb and Kallus on her heels. 

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

Zeb grunted “Uh huh. What happened in there?”

Ezra shook his head, shrinking back against the wall. “If I could talk about it I would. But right now I have a planet to liberate. Now are you or are you not still in touch with Ketsu?”

Sabine blinked in surprise. “I am.”

“Good. Send her a message asking if she can reach Seelos within the next 72 hours. Kallus, have you and Rex fixed up the Ghost with those new jamming codes?”

“As best we can.”

“Alright. Hera do you feel up to running the blockade to go pick up our allies?” 

“I can run a blockade but-”

“Good. Take Rex and Kallus, I’ll get Hondo to meet you there.”

“Just a minute-”

“Kanan you should go too actually. Easier to pretend you’re dead if you’re off-world.”  

“ENOUGH!” The whole room jumped and a thread of guilt wove its way through Hera - particularly when she saw Ezra rub his head from where he’d whacked against the bunk above him. 

“I’m sorry honey.” She said in a softer tone, sitting next to him and taking his face in her hands. He pulled away, not unkindly, but it still left her eyes prickling irritatingly. 

“I know I’m not being very fair, but I can barely make sense of what’s going to happen. And some of it…” he shivered, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. 

He’s scared. She realized suddenly. Kanan must have also as he tightened his grip around Ezra’s shoulders. 

“We’ll focus on what we do know for now,” her other half murmured. Ezra leaned against him gratefully for a moment before clearing his throat. 

“What I know is that what the empire - what the emperor - wants with Lothal is far worse than any of us anticipated. It has never been more important to get them off this world. And we can’t do it with the forces we have. Every person I just named needs to be here. I can’t tell you they’ll survive this, or even why we’ll need they’re help specifically. I only know I need you guys to trust me,” he met each of their gazes. “Even if it’s for one last time.”   

“It’s a solid plan, Ezra,” Ryder regarded the young Jedi seriously. “But even with your additional allies, there are too few of us. If the rest of the Rebellion won’t come-” 

“I’m counting on them not coming.”

“But-”

“We don’t need them Governor, we can’t afford to need them. Lothal can’t afford it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you remember when I was little, how I was always climbing up on the roof of our old house?” 

“Yeah, you’d get caught up in chasing Loth-Cats and sooner or later one always led you up there. More often than not you’d get stuck. Then your father would have to come and get you down.”

“Well once when I was maybe five, he saw me up there and told me to get down on my own. I asked him why and he said one day he might not be around to help me get out of trouble. That being able to count on people was good, but that if you always depended on them to solve your problems, you’d never learn to do that on your own. He said he knew I was strong enough and smart enough and I needed to know it too.”

“Odd thing to tell a child.”

“Yes but in this case he was right. Lothal has to be freed by Lothal. If the rebellion came in and drove the empire out we would forever be counting on them to interfere when we had problems. We’d always be looking for someone else to save us. How long would it take for ‘someone’ to become ‘anyone’? We’d be right back where we started, under the control of the empire or a force equally as bad. Now is our chance to eliminate that threat of dependence.

“The empire’s forces aren’t infinite, they can’t be everywhere at once. We have to show other worlds that they can be beaten. Not by “The Rebellion”, they’ve tried to liberate us twice, and they’ve failed. This isn’t about showing the galaxy what we are capable of. It’s about showing them what they are capable of. That the path to freedom isn’t achieved by other people sweeping in and saving the day, but by the people who are already here. Who are willing to stand up and say ‘this is my home, and you can’t have it.’ Well Lothal is my home. Is it yours?”

The old governor beamed, tears shining in his sky blue eyes. “Lothal is my home till the day I die.” 

“It’s mine too,” Jai spoke up. 

“And mine,” Marida added softly. 

Ezra took a long look around the cave, meeting the eyes of each person present. A nod or smile was given by each in return, a pledge to follow and support no matter the outcome. At last he turned to the Ghost crew. The people who’d become the family he’d once refused to need. 

‘This isn’t your homeworld,’ his gaze said. ‘I’m not assuming you’ll help just because of me. But it’s time to choose.’ 

“In or out?” he asked out loud.

The group hug he was promptly yanked into was all the answer he needed.

“Are you ever going to say anything or are you just gonna stare?”

Hera startled slightly, a chuckle escaping her lips. Stopping at the base of the Ghost ramp she looked a minute longer.

“I guess I’m still trying to get used to the people my kids are becoming.”

Said kid’s face flushed brightly. He reached up to rub the back of his neck. “Still learning who I am myself,” he muttered.

“Well I’m proud of you regardless.” She told him warmly.

“Hmm.” He pulled her into a tight hug. “Promise me you’ll be careful.” 

She smiled as they parted. “You too.” 

“You need to be more. I think…”

She cocked her head at his quizzical frown. “Hey it’s alright. We’ll be back before you know it.”

Ezra nodded quickly. “Right, I know. Just…be careful,” he repeated, something in his expression that she couldn’t read.    

Before she could ask what he meant Kanan approached, pulling his apprentice aside. Their words were indistinct, but from the soft expression on his face and the worried glances Ezra threw her direction, Kanan was clearly trying to provide some last minute reassurance. 

Footsteps sounded behind her and Hera turned to see Sabine striding down the ramp. 

“Supplies are loaded. You should have everything you need to equip our extra little band.”

“Thank you.” 

Sabine nodded in return, then glanced down. “Nerves getting to you?” 

Hera followed her gaze, quickly jerking her hand away from where it was pressed against her stomach.  

“It’s nothing.” A purple eyebrow raised in disbelief. “I’ve been getting heartburn, that’s all.”

“Heartburn?”

“I can’t figure out why, it only started a couple of days ago. Nothing’s really changed in my diet. Must be a sign of stress.”

“Or hair.”

“What?”

Sabine shrugged casually. “If you believe my mother. She had wicked heartburn both times, and told my father it meant the baby’d have lots of hair. I did, my brother was bald. So you know, take it with a grain of salt.” 

Hera gaped at her, momentarily forgetting how to speak. 

“So I am right. Huh. Got ahead of one of your secrets at last.” Sabine’s grin was all tease but Hera saw the real happiness sparkle in her eyes. 

Swallowing hard, she managed a small smile in return. “I guess you have.”  

Sabine’s expression softened. “Don’t worry, I won’t say a word until you’re ready to talk about it, but…Kanan does know, right?

“He does. We’re both half terrified, but we’re determined to see this through. How do you feel?”

The younger woman scoffed. “I hardly have any right to comment.”

“You’re family. And this is a big change. We want everyone to be okay.”

“I’m more than okay.” Sabine smiled eagerly. “It’s been long enough since we had a new Spectre join us. I should start sketching ideas of what they’ll look like.” 

Hera couldn’t help the laugh. “Only you.”

“Hey gotta get inspiration where I can.”

“Inspiration for what?” Ezra asked.

“Art nincompoop. The Loth-Wolves refuse to sit still long enough for me to get the detail I want.”

“Loth-Wolves…’Bien you’re a genius.”

“What do y- oof!” She jerked away from the raspberry-like kiss he smushed against her cheek, though He was out of reach before she could react any further, dashing back to the cave. 

“Good luck Mom and Dad!” he called over his shoulder to the astonishment of Hera and Kanan and the eternal amusement of the young mandalorian. 

Their faces in this moment were most definitely the subject of her next drawing. 

Chapter Text

“Message coming in for you General.”

Hera stifled a yawn, shifting uncomfortably. “Patch it up here Rex.”

The holofeed warped to life revealing an anxious Twi’lek visage. 

She sat bolt upright, exhaustion forgotten. “Father!”

“Hera, my daughter!” Cham’s face instantly brightened. “I’ve been trying to reach you for days now. My heart is glad to see that you are safe. The news from Lothal was most disturbing. They say you were taken hostage in a failed assault on the Tie Defender factory. But also that you’re responsible for the destruction of the same.”

“The factory was destroyed, yes.”

“Hera.”

“I’m fine Father. They held me for less than 48 hours before Kanan got me out.”

“Yes that too. The reports state that your Jedi..friend is dead. Killed in the attack.” 

“Dead is a tiny bit of an exaggeration I’m happy to say.” Kanan piped up.

Hera glared at him. “Not funny Love.”

Cham cleared his throat. “Where are you? Your clone friend wouldn’t say.”

“On a mission. A personal one. In fact we shouldn’t stay on much longer, it’ll put us both at risk.”

“Daughter I have not fought for my freedom for twenty years and not learned how to guarantee a secure transmission.”

“Right. Well since we’re talking to you, you might as well know.”

“Hera!” 

She quickly squeezed her partner’s hand.

“I want you to do me a favor.”

“Anything you need. Just ask for it.”

“I need a copy of the traditional Jasshi’rr vows. It’s been too long since I’ve heard them for me to remember how they go.”

The silence in the cockpit was deafening on both sides.

“You’re serious.” The elder Twi’lek finally choked out. He turned to look at Kanan who looked equally stunned. “What…? How have you..?”

“Kanan’s done nothing, Father. This is my choice.” Hera smiled faintly. “I’ve made up my mind to be his and he has made up his mind to mine. We’re getting married on Lothal the minute the empire is off it. And nothing you say will change that. Cooperate and I might just give you the com channel to observe the ceremony.”

It might have been a trick of the holo's light but she swore her father was turning purple. “Hera, he’s a human and a Jedi. They do not commit as we do. If you do this you will be bound to him for the rest of your life. No matter when his ends. Others will not accept this easily. Inter-species factor aside, this union will fly in the face of all Twi’lek tradition.”

“What tradition would that be? We’ve been living together for almost a decade and we’ve been ‘One Mind, One Body, One Soul’ for at least half that time.”

“I know what I’m getting into, General,” Kanan interjected calmly, “I don’t know how much my word means to you at the moment, but I give it freely. I will never leave Hera for any reason, and should I be taken from her…well, Jedi don’t believe death to be permanent separation. I will look after her and out for her. No matter what.”  

Only very slightly mollified Cham jerked a nod. “I lost you once Hera, I’m not willing to do so again. But don’t expect me to be happy about this anytime soon.”  

Good thing I don’t need you to be happy about it. Hera thought. Still this had gone surprisingly well so she mustered up a smile in return.

"Then next time we land on Ryloth expect to be receiving a daughter and a son in law.”

“Should I be expecting to receive a grandchild as well?”

“Two actually,” Hera answered. Far too calmly in Kanan’s opinion. He strained to listen while simultaneously shoving his heart out back down into his chest. 

“Two?” Cham sputtered. “Daughter what-?”

“Well that’s assuming they both want to come. They are adults after all.”

Her father’s shoulders dropped in relief. “You are speaking of your two young companions. I had not realized you’d formalized their adoption. You have documentation of it of course? For the clan. Not that it’ll help their chances of being absorbed into it.”

Struggling to keep her cool, she shrugged one shoulder. “Documentation is unnecessary with Sabine. Mandalorian adoption consists of one sentence spoken with intent. Ezra on the other hand…” She turned to Kanan, who somehow found his voice. 

“Legal adoption is kind of a taboo subject on Lothal. We’re still trying to find something we’re all comfortable with.”

That was putting it delicately, Hera thought. The offer had only been made once - with admittedly very poor timing - simply as a way of smoothing out some logistical entanglements. She had never seen her boy so livid. Phrases such as ‘my parents don’t deserve to be erased from my life no matter what anyone thinks’ and ‘are you really incapable of loving me if there isn’t ownership involved?’ still burned her memory even two years later. 

“Anyway,” she said, “you don’t have to shower them with affection, or gifts, or any of those other grandparent things. But understand this fact, they are my children as truly as you are my father. If you mistreat or upset them in any way I will take it personally. And I don’t have to remind you what the wrath of a Twi’lek mother looks like.”

Kanan grinned at her. Hera hadn’t spoken of her mother often but in his mind the woman was a legend. He deeply regretted never having met her. 

A few petulant statements later and Cham signed off. Hera instantly collapsed back in her seat rubbing her forehead. 

“I’m sorry.”

She waved off the apology. “Telling him was never going to be easy. I’m just glad you were here.”

“You didn’t mention the baby,” he observed quietly.

“He doesn’t deserve to be the first person we tell.”

“When do you want to start telling people?”

She shook her head with a sigh. “I’m torn. I don’t think I’m ready for a lot of people to know, yet if we wait too much longer they won’t need to be told. Sabine’s already figured it out."

“Ah. Ezra might have too.”

“Ezra guessed?”

Kanan made a displeased noise. “He’s a lot shrewder than people give him credit for.”

“No, no of course he is. He’s scary smart, and he knows how to get people to pay attention. I just meant, he wasn’t there for the whole crying over caf debacle.”

Her soon to be husband chuckled. “I doubt it’d have made a difference. You know how easily he latches onto any extra life in the room. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he forms a connection to the baby before I do.”

Hera reached over and put a hand on his arm. “He’d never try to take your place.”

“Oh I know. I’m not worried about any of that right now. Junior might not even be Force sensitive, and even if they are, training will be a ways off. If teaching Ezra has taught me anything it’s that learning the ways of the Force doesn’t have to begin at birth. We can take things at their own pace. I’m content to just be a father for a few years.”

“I understand. Just being parents will probably be more than enough to keep us busy.”

“True.” 

The comfortable silence soon grew pensive.        

“What is it?”

Kanan looked at her seriously. “I know it isn’t the best time just now, but soon we’re going to need to decide if ‘just parents’ is all we’re going to be.”

Her stomach flip flopped and it had nothing to do with the pregnancy. He had a point. Her entire argument with her father had always been about living a life that she chose. Up until this moment she’d thought that’s what she’d been doing. Leaving Ryloth practically the day she legally could, the years spent intelligence gathering, finally gaining a role in an organized rebellion. Had that all been the life she chose? On the face of it, the answer was yes undoubtedly but the deeper she dug…How many times had she not taken the course she felt was right because someone told her she wasn’t allowed to? How many times had it cost her something important? How many times had it almost cost her the person she loved the most?

“Hera?”

“There’s so much good we could still accomplish with the alliance, and there’s not a great deal I regret from this past decade. But in the future?” She sighed softly. “This next victory against the empire, and it will be a victory, I have no doubt about that. It’ll be a victory because of our son’s love and devotion for his home. And the devotion he’s able to inspire in others. The rebellion didn’t teach him that, that’s just him. One thing I do regret is how many childhoods are sacrificed to this fight.”

“He joined us of his own volition Hera.”

“We tell ourselves that Love, but how much of it is really true? Growing up I always swore I would support my child in whatever life they choose to live. But Jedi, or pilot, or whatever it is, how much of a choice is it if underneath it all their only choice is soldier? If we mold a person from infancy to believe fighting our battles is the only right way to live their lives, how are we better than the tyranny we’re seeking to end.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“What I think I’m saying is that I will fight for as long as I can squeeze this stomach behind any sort of steering yoke. And that over the course of his or her life I may continue to fight - only when absolutely necessary,” she quickly added, seeing the protest rise on her Jedi’s lips. “But the baby doesn’t get involved in the fight until they are old enough that their decisions are beyond our legal control. Do you agree?”

Kanan smiled slowly. “Just when I think I can’t fall any deeper for you.” He reached over and took her hand. Gently tugging off her glove, he raised her bare knuckles to his lips. “We have 6 more hours until our next jump point.”

“I love you Kanan but all this thinking has sapped the energy I didn’t have to begin with.”

His smile widened. “Good. That means I should have no trouble putting you down for a nap.” 

“That’s not-” she cut off with a squeak as he scooped her up in his arms. Too tired to protest - not that she wouldn’t let him have it later - she relaxed against his shoulder while he made his way to their cabin. 

Next thing she knew she was settled in her bunk, boots and flight cap replaced with thermal socks and a soft headwrap. Quickly enveloping her in blankets, he turned off the lights and started to leave only to return to the bedside when she let out a whine. 

“What is it my love? 

Hera hummed. “The least you could do is snuggle with me until I’m asleep.”

“Ah, well, never let it be said I don’t do the least I can do.” Wrapping her in his arms he smiled warmly as she shifted closer, settling her head over his heart. “We’re really getting married?”

“Hmm yes. Soon. I promise.” She yawned. “I love you.” 

“I love you too. Sleep mon etoile. I’ll be here.”

“Are you alright? You’ve been out here for hours.”

Ezra slowly blinked his eyes open. 

“I think so. At least, I feel better than I did.”

Sabine knelt beside him. “You know, hiding things from the rest of us isn’t gonna help you keep a clear head.”

Wasn’t that the truth. Ezra had played his promise over and over again in his head. And every time he hated himself just a little bit more.

“We have a plan then.”

“The beginning of one anyway. It’d all be easier if you were with us.”

“Not yet. If what we saw is true our best chance is if I’m here waiting. Don’t worry, when the time is right, I’ll return to our world. We’ll see one another again. But until then I must ask you to keep my survival a secret. From everyone, even your family.”

“But-”

“Hello? Lothal to Ezra.” 

Ezra leaned away from her snapping fingers. “I know why you’re upset,” he finally said. “I would be in your place. But some of this isn’t my secret. And for the rest…Kanan’s always said visions are tricky. I need to know if what I’ve seen has really happened. Too much is riding on this for me to get it wrong.”

“So you’re choosing now to listen to him?”

Ezra laughed, but it sounded hollow. 

“Promise you won’t tell.”

She snorted. “Right.”

He got to his feet and they walked back to the base under lengthening shadows. Sabine hadn’t been exaggerating when she said it’d been hours. The sun had been high in the sky when he’d settled down in that field.  

“Do we know if Kanan and the others made it to Seelos yet?”

“Ezra, they just left this morning. Even with Hera’s skills they’ll be in hyperspace for at least another 12 hours. What’s the rush?”

“I don’t know. I just feel like our timetable could change at any moment.”

She stopped walking and put a hand on his shoulder. “If it does, we’ll adjust. Everyone here is behind you a hundred percent. Have a little faith.”

“I have faith in all of you. It’s your faith in me I worry about. I don’t want to let you down.”

“Hey now, if it was me saying that what would you do?” She leaned forward, making him look her in the eye. “We are here because we choose to be. We believe in the mission as much as we believe in you. Risk or reward we’re going to see it through because we want to. Okay?”

Knowing any answer but yes would lead to consequences more painful than even the empire could dish out he nodded, breathing deeply to let go of the last of his anxiety.  

“Kanan and Hera will be fine. There’s nothing the two of them can’t handle.”

“You mean the three of them right?”

Sabine snorted a laugh. “Right. That’s exactly what I mean.”

Ezra grinned at her, his dark mood evaporating. “Come on. There’s just one more thing I have to arrange.”

In the distance a Loth-Wolf howled.

Chapter Text

“Is our fallback point set?” 

“Yes. Everyone’s been briefed on where it is.”

“They know not to retreat there until my order right?”

“Yup. Although how you’ve managed to work it out in the first place I’ll never understand.”

“Let’s just hope we don’t need it. It’s a last resort after all. The last thing the Loth-Wolves need is the Empire deciding they’re a nuisance.”

Ryder nodded grimly. “I guess it’s my turn now?”

Zeb shuffled restlessly. “Not to be the pessimist but are you sure this will work?”

“She hasn’t changed much in all these years. I know just how to get to her.”

Ezra squared his shoulders, drawing the others’ attention. “We should get in position. Good luck Governor.”

“Godspeed Rebels.”

“You’re pacing again.”

“I can’t help it. They’re under attack right now, and we’re sitting frozen up here.”

“Fear not my Jedi friend, Hondo Ohnaka always arrives at exactly the right time to save the day!” 

 A disgruntled snort came from their Ugnaught companion. 

“That was one time Melch. Why must you always try to bring me down?”

The proxy alarm signaled an approaching ship and they all quickly found their seats. 

“Now I am as anxious to see our dear boy as any of you but you must be careful. This maneuver requires very delicate timing. I don’t need to inform you what will happen if we are caught.”

“No you don’t,” Kallus interrupted. “So shut your mouth and let the two of them handle this.” 

“But-”

“Hush.”

Minutes - although it felt like hours - later they were detaching from the cargo vessel and racing above Lothal’s plains at top speed. Kanan sent a mental message to Ezra, informing him of their arrival, and trying to judge the situation based on his Padawan’s state of mind. 

Ezra’s reply of ‘ Good. Still alive. Leave me alone.’ was concerning to say the least, although Kanan tried to comfort himself with the thought that the kid was probably just occupied with the fight. Their previous battlefield communication had been rather dependent upon being in the same place. 

That didn’t stop his heart from leaping into his throat as he caught a glimpse of his family kneeling at gunpoint before the sadistic imperial governor. 

The sound of the cargo ramp lowering had him practically leaping from his seat. Hera latched onto his arm before he took two steps.

“Stay! The others can handle it. Stick to the plan!”

“Hera, that's our children down there!”

“I know! I don’t want to be away from them any longer than you do Love but the longer you stay unnoticed the better. I need you here,” she pleaded. “Help me out, take the nose gun.”

“Hondo has that under control,” the weequay’s voice called up to them followed by the sound of rapid pulsing fire. “Melch if you don’t start contributing I’m taking your share of our payment.”

Kanan looked as though he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry but he sat back down which was enough for Hera. With a tremble in her heart she pulled them up and away, trusting the crew to lay down cover fire as she gained altitude and led some of the enemy ships away.  

Loathe as she was to give Hondo credit for anything, the chase may not have ended the same way without him. Before long there were only two imperial fighters left. A few shots went wide but finally their gunners were able to nail one point blank. Ignoring the self congratulations bantering about, she forced all her concentration on their last remaining pursuer.

“Hera, this guy knows what he’s doing!” Kanan warned - unnecessarily as they were hit by their third volley.  

“I know, I know! Hang on!”

“I really hate it when you say that - ooph!.”

Hera yanked the steering yoke 45 degrees sending the Ghost into a spin. Their hull collided with that of the opposing ship, launching it straight into one of the nearby peaks. The resulting fireball was as much relieving as it was satisfying.

Kanan let out an exhilarated chuckle. “I take it back. I absolutely love it when you say that.”

She spared him a smile before turning them back toward base. Her partner suddenly lurched forward in his seat.

“Kanan?”

“Something’s happened.”

“Bad?”

“I can’t be sure. There’s a surge in the Force. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before. We need to get back!”

“Transferring auxiliary power to thrusters. ETA two minutes.”

Hang on Ezra, we’re coming

The plan was going swimmingly until Thrawn’s pet showed up. And along with him two more airships full of troopers. 

Hera’s intervention had come just in time (not that Ezra would admit he was worried) but it still left them with more enemies than he’d been hoping for. And, with the crawler destroyed, a much smaller space to fight them in.  

The gray creature - Rukh, Ezra thought his name was - engaged him immediately, showing his nasty array of skills off as never before. Before long their fight had led them away from the main battle, something Ezra most definitely did not want. 

Summoning the reserves of his energy he disengaged their weapon lock, feinted left, then threw the strongest force push he could at his opponent. 

The Noghri hit the wall with enough force to break a human but soon recovered, getting to his feet slowly but confidently. 

“How are you not dead?”

“You rely too much on your Jedi tricks.” He growled. “Your master did too. It was his last failure.”

Ezra smiled grimly. “Was it?”

It is time. The Loth-Wolf’s voice entered his mind. Let us do our part.

Letting his eyes sweep the battlefield as he ran, Ezra shouted instructions to his family, calling on the Force to make himself heard over the ruckus around them. “Fall back to the cave!

One by one they followed him, taking shelter in the pocket the Force wrapped around them, strong and warm, like all the best hugs he’d ever received rolled into one and quadrupled. The temptation to lose himself in the feeling tugged at the young Jedi, only the slightest sound of a growl and shuffling footsteps keeping it at bay. This moment wasn’t about him.

“Where’s your army now Jedi?,” a guttural voice sneered.

After you.

In his lightsaber’s limited glow he felt more than saw the terror strike the creature's eyes as the Loth-Wolves poured out of the cave, catching and disposing of everything in their path. 

Later the crew would laugh about how little they contributed after that, stormtroopers and officers flying about in every direction as they slowly worked toward where Price was cowering under the wing of her airship. 

“Don’t let it eat me!” She fairly groveled as a very pleased with itself looking wolf deposited her at Ezra and Ryder’s feet.  

The younger man paid her little mind after she and her remaining troops had been cuffed and set aside under both human and canine guard. Instead he hurriedly set about securing what remained of their hideout and headed out to where the Ghost - and his increasingly anxious parents - had set down. 

Their embrace was almost as satisfying as the wolves’. 

“You did it Ezra!” Hera fairly beamed.

“Well now, he had help.” Hondo declared, marching into the group’s space. “Now my boy, we need to have a talk about the monetary contributions this little scheme of your’s will provide. Now I don’t require much myself but-mupf!” He choked off, whether due to the fist Melch implanted in his knee or the rather fierce lupine glare Kanan leveled at him, Ezra didn’t know. 

“We can talk about it later.” The Weequay dashed away, leaving the other three shaking their heads. 

“Nice to know some things never change.” 

“Nice is one word for it,” Kanan grumbled, tugging his child closer. “You sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine,” Ezra smiled faintly. “But I’m glad you’re back.” 

“We’re not going anywhere again sweetheart. You’ve set up our best chance. Whatever the outcome, we’ll face it together.”

Mustering up a smile, Ezra hugged them both again before turning back to base. One battle down, one to go. 

Chapter Text

“Ezra I promise you we’ll get the shield back up. We only have to stall a little longer. You don’t have to do this!"

“Hera, this is bigger than Lothal now. I have to get to that ship.”

“Why?”

“I don’t have time to explain.”

She wasn’t having that. “Ezra Bridger!”

“Look. Inside of the temple there are these…doors. Gateways to other places, other moments in time. That’s what the emperor’s after. With a power like that he could control far more than the galaxy. I don’t want to think about what could be lost.” 

Kanan’s frown deepened. “The temple collapsed, Kid. He can’t reach whatever this place is.” 

“He can’t enter it here on Lothal. But at some point the troopers…harvested part of the temple that included an entrance and took it away. It’s on Thrawn’s ship.” 

“How do you know?”

“I saw the moment Thrawn learned it was being brought on board. The emperor told him to preserve it specifically for me.”

“For you?”

“He can’t cross the threshold of these doorways, I can. He expects me to open one for him.” 

“Pretend for a moment I understand what you’re saying,” Hera interrupted. “If the door was removed from the temple how can he think it’ll still work?”

“I don’t know how, I only know he’s right. There’s a gateway the emperor’s men have access to and the only way for me to destroy it is to be on that ship! This is an opportunity I can’t pass up.”

“So we destroy the ship.”

Ezra tried very hard not to roll his eyes. He may not have succeeded. “I’ve witnessed the destruction of exactly one star destroyer. And it took Commander Sato’s suicide to accomplish that. I’m not risking anyone else.”

This time Hera rolled her eyes. “And just how are yo u going to destroy it? You can’t take weapons,” she pointed out. “Thrawn’s troopers will search you the second you’re on board.”   

“I know. But they can’t take everything from me. Look, I know it’s asking a lot, but you have to trust me on this!”

Kanan grabbed his padawan’s shoulders. “Ezra, we trust you. I promise, we do. If you say this needs to happen, then it needs to happen. But let us help.”

“That’s all we’re asking.”

Ezra didn’t answer for a long moment prompting anxious looks to be shared between his parent figures. 

“You can help.” He murmured, barely audible. “You can tell me you love me.”

“What?” they gasped. Ezra looked up at them, forcing back tears. 

“I don’t know exactly what I’m going to face on that ship. Those gateways below the temple? They don’t just show you things that already happened. Ahs- I have the idea they can show you things that might have happened, or could happen. Things you want, things you’re afraid of. Remember how I was afraid when I woke up after? How I wasn’t sure if you survived, Kanan? That’s because I saw a moment where you didn’t. I also saw a moment where I came home and told my parents I’d got accepted into the Republic’s Outer Rim flight academy.”

“There isn’t a-”

“It wasn’t real, remember? Anyway the point is the emperor may not be able to open the door to the other realm but he will use anything he can think of to get me to do it for him. I know I’m capable of beating him but it would be easier if I knew…”

“I’m so sorry honey,” Hera swallowed hard, fighting her own tears. “If I haven’t done enough to show-” 

Ezra cut her off with a head shake. “You have shown it, more times than I can count. I believe it. I just need…please just say it.” 

She stepped forward and cupped his face in her hands, leaning their heads together. “I love you doesn’t even begin to touch what we feel for you. You’re our son, blood and law be cursed.”

“It’s true.” Kanan added, wrapping his arms around the two of them. 

Ezra’s eyes shifted to Hera’s stomach then up to meet his, doubt still holding steady. “I’m not-”

“You are. You made me a father, Ezra, and I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to understand that. “You’re my son, in every way that counts. I love you so much it terrifies me. There’s nothing I won’t support you in. I will always be there for you, when you’re happy, when you’re scared, whatever you need me for.” He ran a tender hand over Ezra’s hair. “You’re a part of us now and we’re with you no matter what. Just like your parents.”

Hera leaned up to kiss her son’s tear streaked cheek. “I don’t understand what you’re wanting to do or why you think you have to do it, but I do trust you.” She took a deep breath “Just promise you’ll come back to us. Please.”    

Ezra sniffed and wiped an arm across his eyes. 

“I’ll do everything I can. Kanan, will you stay connected with me?” He gestured vaguely to the side of his head. His master nodded instantly. 

“I’ll keep you up to date on how things are going down here. Promise you’ll do the same. And make sure you have an exit route. No making it up as you go.”

Like you’re one to talk. Ezra thought. Aloud he said. “That’s alright. If worst happens I’ve got an ally on the inside.” 

That threw the others. 

“What? Who?” Hera sputtered. “And why haven’t they acted before now?”

“Because you might say there’s a world between where they are and where they want to be. Don’t worry, when the time comes I know they’ll do the right thing.”

“Ezra-”

“I have to go now. I promise, no matter what happens, I will find a way to come home.”  

“Ezra wait…” letting out a frustrated sigh as their boy disappeared from sight, Hera turned to her partner, disgruntlement set firmly on her face. “Have I mentioned he’s your son?”

Kanan shook his head. “Can we not argue about that again?”

“Humph.”

“What do you mean you’ve lost contact?”

“What I said. One moment our link was strong, now it shrouded. I can still sense him but I’m having to fight for it. He was right about there being a dark presence on that ship.”

Hera paled but her General side was still in running the show enough for her to absorb the information without too much grief. “Zeb, Kallus I need that generator!” 

“Getting there.” The lasat’s gruff voice answered. “Thrawn’s little friend was keeping me busy. Don’t worry I fixed him.”

“Power coming online now.” Ketsu hollered from the background. “Had to get a little creative so be prepared to move it as soon as I flip this switch.”

“Do it and get up here on the double. Is everyone alright?”

“Gregor took a hit to the shoulder.” Kallus answered. “He’s unconscious but Rex thinks he’ll be alright. Said something about earning a lifetime of ‘I told you so’s’ about armor.”

Kanan snorted. He’d been there when Rex had all but tied his brother down to force him back in the protective covering the goofy clone had sworn he’d never wear again. As far as the Jedi was concerned his friend had earned those “I told you so’s”.

“Generator’s online. Planetary shield is at full strength.” 

“Great. Sabine start the launching sequence.”

“We have another problem,” her mandalorian daughter replied. “Look!”

A dark shadow crossed the dome’s viewport. “Thrawn’s destroyer is right above us. If we launch now we’ll destroy ourselves and half the city along with us.”

Behind them came the sound of Pryce laughing. “All your talk of overcoming every obstacle and letting nothing get in your way. Well someone is quite literally in your way. What are you going to do about it?”

“We’ll start by shutting you up.” Kanan informed her. A high pitched whine of an electro probe sounded, followed by a screech and a thump. With a surge of un-jedi-like satisfaction he turned to his nervous looking partner. 

“What are we going to do?” he asked, forcing his voice to remain calm even as he frantically searched his now clearer bond with his padawan for any sign of a clue on that end. 

Ezra was understandably preoccupied, but there was something undefinable beneath the surface of his signature. A strong sense of something being held back, a piece of the puzzle that to this moment only his child had been privy to. 

As it turned out, they only had to wait another 30 seconds before that piece became abundantly clear.

“Are those…? Hera tell me I’m seeing things.”

“If you are, I am too Love.”

“Purrgil?” Sabine gasped. “How’d he? Ezra are you doing this?”

“Not a bad idea huh?”

“Would have been better if you’d clued us in!”

“And miss the chance to catch you by surprise? Which you’re always claiming I’ll never be able to do?”

Sabine rolled her eyes but her argument was cut off by the sound of blaster fire and a cry of… more surprise than pain Kanan noted, although it was enough to set his heart hammering in his chest. 

“You’ve completed your mission kiddo, time to get you and your ally out of there.”

“Working on it.”

“Work faster!” Hera chimed in, alarm spreading across her beautiful features. “They’re preparing to jump.”

“It’s okay Mom. I remember my promise. I’ll see you all again.”   

“Kid come on. You’re running out of time.”

“I’ll be fine Zeb. Just make sure they all get to the Ghost. I’ll meet you there.”

“And just what makes you think you’ll be able to escape this ship?” The cold calculating voice of Thrawn came through the connection. “You are trapped in circumstances of your own devising. You sought my destruction and have brought about your own. Nothing worthy of such a prideful display.”

“Sheesh, Kallus is right. You talk way too much. For your information I’ve every right to be proud of myself if for no other reason than I remember one little fact that you and your illustrious emperor seem to have forgotten.”

“And what fact would that be?”

“Ḍhōkā du'ī bāṭō khōlcha.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Ezra’s snort was clearly audible even with the chaos around him. " Really? The so-called cultural expert can’t understand even a simple phrase in the native language. You disappoint me Grand Admiral.”  

Static sounded across the com as the purrgil’s tentacles lit up. 

“Ezra? Ezra! Get out of there now!”

“...can’t…be fine…you”

A brilliant light flashed across the sky and the purrgil were gone, taking the remnant of Thrawn's fleet and Ezra along with them.

“Mart give me the helm. You and Kallus, start helping Chopper and AP-5 compile a list of probable trajectory of the purrgil and all known star systems along the way.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Hera, he said he’d find his way to us.” Kanan tried to reassure. “We have to trust him.”

The Twi’lek gave him a scolding look. “Just because he has a plan doesn’t mean he won’t need help. Force only knows the number of things that could have gone wrong.”

“Yeah Kanan, do you even know if he even had an actual plan to begin with?”

“He did. I’m not sure what, but he knew what was coming. He may have left us clues. What he said to Thrawn for instance. Anybody pick up what that was?”

“Knowing Ezra it was probably just an insult.” Zeb grunted.

Sabine shook her head. “I made him teach me all the Lothali insults he knew, that wasn’t one of them. She shrugged at Hera’s eyebrow. “What? I taught him Mando’a insults, it was only fair.”

“I said ‘doors open two ways’.”

They all turned as the cockpit doors opened and a very smug looking young jedi stepped through them.

“Which I have to admit was a very good exit line,” another figure came up beside him. “Master Kenobi would have been proud.” 

Kanan pulled back from where he’d instantly crushed Ezra to his chest to gape at their new companion.

“You..da.. What?”  

“Oh, yeah” Ezra pulled back, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “That ally I mentioned? She decided it was time to come back with me.”

“How?” Wow, he was being really articulate. Thankfully no one else in the family seemed to be doing any better.  

Ahsoka smiled slightly at their gobsmacked expressions. “We’ll explain later,” she told him, placing a hand on Kanan’s shoulder. “Ezra tells me you have a mission to finish.”

With her family crowding the front of the cockpit, Hera swung the Ghost around for optimum viewing of their target. She reached back and took Ezra’s hand. “One to finish together. For our family.”

“And for those that aren’t here,” Ryder gave Ezra a smile, “we do this in their honor.”

Tears gathered in the corners of the younger man’s eyes but he managed a small smile back, leaning into Kanan. “Go on Sabine.”

“For Ephraim and Mira. And…everyone else.” With the murmured oath the mandalorian pressed her wrist trigger turning the dome into a fireball careening over Lothal’s open plains. 

“Woo Whay Whop?” Chopper queried sometime later.

“No buddy, you can delete that.”

Hera looked up sharply. “What message?” 

“Nothing.”

Chopper blew one of his special raspberries. “Whaa Whomp.”

“Ezraaa.”

“It’s nothing Hera. Just a backup plan. We’re all alright now.”

“Well, except for Thrawn’s shooting you in the shoulder.”

“Ahsoka!”

“He what?!” 

“Get us on the ground.” Kanan interrupted calmly. “I’ll take care of him until then.” 

Tugging Ezra’s arm he got them moving out of the cockpit but not before Hera’s very stern “You haven’t heard the last of this young man,” rang out loud and clear. 

The trip to the med bay was both too long and too short for each of them and it wasn’t until he’d helped his apprentice out of his singed and dirty sweater and undershirt, that Kanan found himself capable of speaking. 

“It’ll probably scar.” He said, spraying bacta over the wound.

Ezra shrugged his uninjured shoulder. “What else is new?”

“Ez?” He prompted after the silence had stretched out several minutes longer. 

“Hm?”

“You were blocked from me for a while there.” 

“Yeah.” Ezra looked down, picking at a loose thread on his trousers. “That was Sidious’ doing I think. Though it didn’t work completely. I still had enough of a grip on you to…it was enough to help.”

“Were the…was what you saw as bad as you feared it would be?”

“Worse.”

“What did he show you?”

“My parents.”

There was a world of regret, vengeance, and just plain sorrow behind those two words. For the first time in years Kanan found himself blinking hard to keep the moisture from escaping his eyes. 

The pain only increased as his son began retelling the events he’d witnessed. The Bridger’s unprecedented courage in rallying the other prisoners to continue pressing forward in the escape. How he’d been forced to watch as Ephraim got gunned down after falling back to slow their pursuers. And then finally how Mira, bleeding out but composed, actually cracked a smile as she sealed the facility’s exits before forcing an overload that destroyed the main control bay along with any chance of the imperials catching the stolen freighters that carried all but her to their freedom. 

“He tried to convince me that I could stop it all from happening. That I could save them. I knew there was no way it was true. Even if I pulled them out, what kind of life would they have? I can’t begin to imagine what Thrawn would have done. Or where he would have taken us. But I still…” 

Ezra, in one of the many, many ways he was stronger than most of them Kanan thought, didn’t even try to hide the tears flooding from his eyes. Shaking with sobs he let his body slump against his teacher’s, Kanan’s arms immediately reaching around to pull him close. 

Knowing there was nothing he could say that would even begin to make what his child had endured any less horrific, the Jedi stayed quiet, tenderly cradling their bond in the force even as he held Ezra in his embrace, letting him cry out in every way he needed to. 

The tears didn’t last long - they never did, Kanan thought dimly - and before long Ezra was shifting uncomfortably, anxious to leave the room and distract himself no doubt.  

Digging through the drawer of spare clothes they kept set aside for moments like these Kanan found a soft shirt which he handed over and watched Ezra slip on over his surprisingly muscular upper body. He’d known the kid had grown a lot over the past two years or so but seeing it with his own eyes was a different matter and put a new spin on his padawan’s (was he still a padawan?) plea for his acknowledged love. Kanan was now convinced Ezra had known far more about the events of the past few hours then he’d let on, and couldn’t help but marvel at the way he’s balanced keeping it secret and still gathering the strength he needed to accomplish his goal. A remarkable young man his son was growing into.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

That pulled a snort from the Jedi and the mood was decidedly lightened by the time the rest of their family crowded into the room. Ezra readily slid into Hera’s waiting arms as she gave them a brief update on their location and that of their allies.

“Ryder’s planning on turning all imperial officers over to Rebel Command as soon as possible. But he wants to interview the technicians and other low level workers here on Lothal. Many of them served for a livelihood and nothing more, and he thinks if they’re given a chance to live and work in another capacity they might willingly switch sides. If nothing else it’ll be extra labor to help rebuild much of the planet’s infrastructure.”

“It’s a good idea,” Kanan concurred. “I don’t like the idea of people being punished for simply doing what they had to to survive. Where do we come in?”  

“Clean up and patrol duty mostly. At least to begin with.”

“You’re on patrol, not clean up.” Ezra stated firmly. 

Hera snorted. “And why is that General Bridger?”

“Prolonged standing or heavy lifting carries an increased chance of miscarriage and premature birth.” Kallus answered before the Jedi could. 

All eyes in the room turned toward him.

“And just what makes you think that statement is relevant?” Kanan inquired.

Hera was more expressive, punctuating her “How did you know?” with an expletive that had the former imperial turning bright red.

“I’m an intelligence officer, remember?”

He cringed at the sight of all their unimpressed looks.

“Have I ever mentioned I’m the second oldest of eight children? No? Oh, well I am. My mother was pregnant for 90% of my childhood. The only thing that made me question was the fact you’re a Twi’lek. I wasn’t sure if the signs were the same.”

“They’re close enough.” Hera admitted glumly.  

Ezra made a face. “I begged my parents for a sibling for the longest time and I never got one. You got seven. How is that fair?”

“Believe me, you wouldn’t be saying that if you’d had seven siblings. Boarding school was the best gift my parents ever gave me. Then I only had one other child to share a room with. Felt like a luxury resort.”

“Speaking of, we’ll need to make a place on board that works for a baby.” Sabine observed. 

“We’ll have plenty of time to sort that out,” Kanan interceded, noting Hera’s pallor. “Ezra, you should take a look around Capital City, then you need to rest.”

“You all need rest.” Ahsoka spoke up for the first time. “Your job isn’t over yet.”

Chapter Text

Three months later

“Special delivery for a Jedi Knight. Know where to find one?”

Kanan grinned at the approaching speaker. “Depends on who’s asking.”

“I’m asking. Ahsoka Tano. Also known as Fulcrum, Ashla, and a few other names you’re too young to hear.”

He gave her a side eye. “You got three years on me. Tops.”

“Three years is three years.” 

Shaking his head, he took the cloth she handed him, unwrapping it carefully. “Whoa! Ahsoka, your friend is a genius. You sure he doesn’t want more credits?”

She waved away the idea. “Once he heard who it was for, he tried to turn down the ones you already offered. Seems Spectres One and Two made a deep impression on him somewhere down the line. Besides, and I quote, ‘There isn’t enough true love left in the galaxy. If one is given an opportunity to help it along, it is one’s duty to take advantage of that.’”

Kanan’s smile faded and he looked at her hesitantly. “True love or not, you didn’t have to help me. You haven’t even said if you think I’m doing something wrong or not.”

She smiled. “I’m not a Jedi, remember? As a person I think you’re doing exactly the right thing.”

“If you were a Jedi?” he pressed.

She looked away, shaking her head slightly. “I think that there are so few Jedi left there isn’t much point in holding to the rules that once governed us. Whether those rules were right or wrong is academic now, but every philosophy has flaws. If they are flaws we can live with is for the individual to decide. I’ve no right to judge what’s in your heart.”

They walked a little while in silence, then she tilted her head. “I’m curious, given all that’s happened in your life as a result of it, if you could go back and choose, would you still want to be Force sensitive?”

It was a most unusual question coming from her, but he gave it serious thought. “I can’t deny that my connection has brought me pain but ultimately,” he nodded to where the others were standing in the distance, Ezra with his arm around Hera, “it’s brought me a family. It’s made me a father. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.”

“Then if anyone - anyone - tries to make you feel guilty, remember that fact. It is the force that leads us. If it led you to Hera, and Ezra, and the rest of them, then its purpose for you involves them. It is your choice how to fulfill that purpose, therefore the joys and consequences of your actions are for you to deal with. Don’t allow anyone to make that their business.”

He nodded slowly, comforted by the thought. “What is the force's purpose for you now?”

She sighed. “I wish I could be sure. At first I thought it was…but he’s beyond hope now.”

“No one is beyond hope. You may not be able to reach your master but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t.”

Her eyes widened in alarm. “How did you know?”

“I’ve picked up little bits and pieces along the way. I always sensed there was another reason you were so anxious to find out his identity. Then Ezra told me what he heard you say before he pulled you from your fight. Between the two of us we put it together.” He put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, neither of us will breathe a word about it.”

She nodded absently.

“How are you holding up?”

“It’s still sinking in. For years I thought he was dead, then I…it was such a strange mix of hope and fear. Even when the truth was quite literally staring me in the face, I didn’t want to believe it. He was…I adored him. When Maul warned me that Sidious wanted my master as his apprentice it was inconceivable. Anakin tread close to the dark sometimes, but it was war, we all were close to falling at some point.” Her voice caught and she cleared her throat noisily. “I guess the thing that hurts the most is if I’d taken his words more seriously maybe I could have stopped it. If I’d been there-”

“No.” Kanan turned and grabbed her hands, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Ahsoka please, I know. I know how it is to blame yourself for your master’s loss. If only I’d known/said/done… I’ve thought it all. And I punished myself for more than 10 years over it. Until someone looked me in the eye and said the words I’m going to say to you now: It’s not your fault. They said it over and over again, until one day I finally allowed myself to believe it. I don’t want you to suffer like that so please listen.

“Your master, the real one, the man who took care of you, who taught you to take care of yourself, he would not blame you. I don’t know the circumstances that led to his fall, but I’m sure, somewhere deep down, perhaps so deep he didn’t even realize it, somewhere Anakin Skywalker was glad you got away when you did. He may not have done it in the way mine did, but he got you out of the firing line. And in doing so, deliberately or not, he saved your life.”

She thought about his words for a long time before sighing. “I suppose one day I’ll be able to look at it that way. I just…miss him.”

“You always will, but I repeat, where there is life, there is hope. We don’t know what the future will bring. I mean would you ever have thought a Jedi would have children?”

“Children…?” A faint smile lit her features. “I think you might have given me an idea.”   

“Can you believe the wedding’s tomorrow?” Hera wondered aloud from her spot cuddled next to him on their picnic blanket.

Took us long enough. Kanan thought, but it was better not to say that. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. The first weeks after the dome’s destruction had been a whirlwind of activity that had them all sleepless and in no mood to celebrate. Then Hera’s pregnancy symptoms had hit full throttle and she’d been too miserable to get out of bed when her body wasn’t purging the little she’d managed to eat. Thankfully, and none too soon, she was now moving past that phase and for the last week or so was actually feeling like a functioning sentient being once again.   

“I’ll finally get to hear people calling you General Jarrus. How do you like that?”

She arched a tattooed brow. “You do realize that some Twi’lek tribes would demand you take my family’s name.”

He made a face. “I think marriage is tradition enough.” He said, wrapping his arms around her and shifting her onto his lap. “No need for anyone to change names.”

Hera leaned back on his shoulder, humming lightly. “You know, I think I will all the same.”

“Really? You don’t have to.”

“I heard you the first time Dear. And I’m not changing, just adding. Syndulla-Jarrus sounds nice enough. Most people won’t use it but having it noted down somewhere is worth it to me.” She turned and wrapped her arms around him, sighing contentedly.

He held her for a long moment, just breathing her in. If it was true that the force had led him to this family there weren’t enough words in the universe to describe how grateful he was. 

“What’s in the pouch?”

“Oh,” He picked up the little gift bag he’d made, holding it out to her. “It’s for you. I was reading through what I could find on Twi’lek marriage traditions,” he held up a finger, “I know we agreed it didn’t matter, but I wanted to do this one thing.”

Swallowing her protests, Hera pulled open the drawstring and turned the pouch over. A flat crystal in the rough shape of a teardrop fell out into her palm. Held up to sunlight, swirls of white and pale blue stood out against the soft green background. “Stars above Kanan, it’s beautiful! Where did you find something like this?”  

He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Well, um, it was a collaboration actually. Sabine and I made sure the design was laid out properly and Ahsoka freed the crystals and got them reformed into the right shapes.”

“Freed?” She turned to face him. “Is this made from Kyber?”

Her lover’s blush confirmed it but she should have known at once. The light, the way it turned slowly, almost hypnotically on the end of the cord it hung on, and, most telling, the way the baby was fluttering away like mad in her womb. She’d only felt him move for the first time a few days previous, now the kid wouldn’t stop. It seemed he loved his father’s gift as much as she did. But the surprise didn’t end there. 

“Look at the pattern. I know it can’t be an exact match but hopefully it’s close enough.”

Sucking in a breath she did as he asked. At first the ripples and shapes weren’t anything more than vaguely familiar, then all at once it hit her. “My mother’s tattoos.”

Kanan smiled at her, eyes full of love. “We used your Kalikori and some of the holos you have as inspiration. You’ve said how much you wish she could be part of this. I know a necklace isn’t equal to her presence, but at least now you’ll have more than a memory.”

Hera didn’t know if it was possible to laugh, sob, and kiss someone breathless all at the same time but she gave it her best shot. 

They broke apart to another flurry of motion from their son. “I wish I could feel what you do,” Kanan said when she described it. 

“You will. The medic said he’s going to be growing like crazy from this point on.” She made a face. “I need new clothes again. The trouser part of even my baggiest flight suit is way too tight now.”

“Well you’re wearing a dress tomorrow. After that,” he shrugged, “get whatever's comfortable. You know I love you in anything.”

She nodded but changed the subject. “Where do you want to go after the wedding? We need to stay on planet, given the situation. Unfortunately there aren’t really any populated places where we won’t be recognized. And we are going to want a little bit of privacy.”

“Just a bit?”

“Yeah a very little bit.”

He gave her an unimpressed look. 

“I’m teasing Love. We’ll be married. Pretty sure people are going to be begging us to go somewhere private for the next year.”

“Get a room, I think is what the kids are calling it.”

“That’s the idea. I’ve kept you waiting long enough.”

“You’ve spent the past two months puking your guts out, dear. I can hardly blame you for not wanting to sleep with me.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. We were together for almost eight years before I willingly kissed you in public. Before I said I love you with anyone remotely in earshot. I-”

“Hera,” he interrupted, kissing her forehead softly, “we’ve talked about this. The past is the past. Did waiting this long for a commitment hurt? Yes. But I’ve hurt you many times too. Getting married isn’t going to put an end to disagreements. We’ll work them out, just as we always have. However long it took to get us to this point, we’re here now. That’s what matters to me. And we get to be here with him,” he laid a hand on her stomach, “and all the rest of them. I wouldn’t trade our family for the world. No matter what they’re currently getting up to.” 

He nodded over her shoulder to where Ezra and Sabine had lined up a trio of Loth-wolf pups and were mock seriously educating them about the importance of a proper fetching technique. 

Kallus and Chopper were off to the side, the former struggling to hide his laughter while the latter gleefully recorded the whole scene for later teasing. Zeb and the mother wolf seemed to have gotten the same idea: so long as the kids are being watched by someone I’m going to nap as if I don’t have a care in the world. 

Hera laughed quietly at the shenanigans and turned to kiss her fiancé again. “Thank you.”

“As for where we’ll go, if privacy is what you want, we could always take the Ghost up. Auto set  a low orbit and shut down all communications. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but we’ve spent our whole relationship there. And we’d be very much alone.”

She considered that. “It’ll do I suppose. We can take some of the drapery they ordered for the wedding pavilion. Do up the cabin to look like that beach tent we stayed in on Zeltros.”

Kanan whistled. “That was an eventful trip. I think our tent was the least luxurious thing on the planet. Surprised you remember it.”

“I remember not wanting to leave.”

“Pheromones. I barely resisted them, even with the force.”

She smiled slyly. “I’m glad you did. I think I’ll like living here much better.”

His eyes zeroed in on hers, a hopeful grin spreading across his face. “Really? You’re willing to stay?”

“I promised I’d only fight until the baby’s born, remember? We’ll need to settle somewhere to raise him. This has been as much a home to us as anywhere else. So long as you’re really sure it’s what’s best for us? You don’t want to stay just because of Ezra?”

Kanan shook his head. “No. I don’t want to leave him or Sabine behind for any longer than we have to, but it’s more than that. This planet feels like where we belong. I mean if you really want to give Ryloth a try I won’t argue, but I think it’s better we have a separate place to call our own.”  

She was quiet for some time before laughing, a hand coming to rest on the curve of her belly. “He votes with you. Okay, home on Lothal it is.” 

Her free hand wandered up to trace his jaw, which had finally grown enough hair to meet her approval of how her mate should look. She caressed his face momentarily before leaning in and pressing their lips together. “Je t’aime,” she murmured against his mouth. 

“I love you too,” he whispered back. “Now and forever.”

“And all the days in between.”