Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mati was a perilous place filled to the brim with a wide variety of vicious predators. One of their favorite foods was the soft, squishy, and tiny watchdogs at the tail-end of the food chain. 

The only strength the watchdogs had was numbers. As in, they could afford to sacrifice a few to serve as distractions while the rest ran away. Not that they didn't try to fight back. But confrontations meant inevitable casualties so they did everything in their power to avoid them. 

Which mostly amounted to hiding in tunnels chiselled into high cliffs to take advantage of their climbing ability and escape ground predators. Each entrance was precisely sized to keep anything larger than a watchdog out. With the mushrooms and moss they cultivated, along with the wells they drilled, the modern generations had no reason to ever leave.

It wasn't a pleasant life. But it was safe. And the watchdogs that survived were the ones that learned to accept it. Every venture outside was a gamble with fate. One that all adventurous watchdogs eventually lost. 

There was one runt that refused to accept their collective lot in life. He spent almost as much time on the ground as he did in the cliffs, desperately searching for a way to break free from their natural role. Whether that was by building weaponry or trying to escape the planet altogether. The rest of the watchdogs only saw him as a roughless fool living on borrowed time.

Peepers had reclaimed his name from others mocking him for his habit of frequently peeping out of their cliffside holes. Which they claimed would only get him eaten by a passing condor. But to their surprise he never failed to duck inside in time. As the years went by their attempts to discourage him had become his badge of honor. 

Those idiots just didn't realize how important it was to find resources for his plans! And the most efficient way to do that was to keep an eye out for asteroids. They would ideally turn out to be wreckages that carried refined material and, when fate occasionally decided to smile upon him, salvageable technology or textbooks that taught him how to create his own. 

Whenever Peepers saw a light streak across the night sky he'd calculate the location of the crash site and head out with his tools in hand. It had been just his trusty hammer and pickaxe for the longest time. Yet as his search continued— and he either repaired or created better tools— his extraction methods got more efficient. 

Of course, even reducing the necessary time couldn't erase the inherent danger of mining in the clearings caused by astral impacts. So his continued survival was ensured through his exceptional agility and, later, a pistol with enough power to stun most beasts. He was still working on upgrading it to a level capable of piercing their vital organs. 

Peepers' lucky break finally came when a mangled ship crashed within a few minutes walk from his home cliffs. It seemed fairly ordinary at first. Just a bunch of scrap metal. But then he noticed a skeleton in remarkably good condition that neared the height of their deadliest foes. If he could just revive it the watchdogs would have a protector! And he had an untested theory on how he'd pull it off!

Unfortunately he had no choice but to disassemble it if he had any chance of getting it home. Even after he'd told the watchdogs what he found and its potential they refused to participate in what they saw as another dangerous, harebrained scheme. Well FINE! He didn't need their help anyways!

It took him days to haul it to his workshop on the top floor of the cliffs, and far longer to set up his experiment. Yet it would all be worth it in the end. The rest of the watchdogs would beg for his and his creature's aid once his genius was realized!

A fierce storm brewed outside as Peepers made his final checks on his experiment's set-up. If anything went wrong he'd be screwed one way or another! Yet everything seemed to be in order. He just hoped he knew what he was doing...

The skeleton was strapped to a large stone table constructed for the occasion, both to hold it in place and to prepare for if it was hostile. Two wires were clamped onto the gold alloy rods drilled into its skull.

Said rods were hammered into thunderbolt shapes. If Peepers was going to do this he was gonna do it in style!

The wires spiraled around a long metal pole that stretched to the stars above his humble cliffside lab. Everything flammable had been stored in another room. Except, of course, the single black magic book Peepers owned. 

It lay in front of him, opened to a powerful necromancy spell that he repeatedly chanted the verbal component of while waiting for the lightning to strike and activate his device. Peepers wasn't even sure if he believed in magic. But it couldn't hurt! And he needed all the help he could get...

Finally an explosive boom echoed through the tunnel system as green lightning danced on the thunder rod's surface. Peepers fought his temptation to go take a closer look as he continued his chant, pumping all the hope and determination in his heart into it. After a few seconds the skeleton had completely absorbed the lightning and Peepers knew he could stop. 

Peepers carefully climbed up onto the table and walked up to the skeleton's head. He leapt back in surprise when the skeleton's eye sockets were suddenly filled with green light. Soon a bit gave way slightly to reveal two pupils. And they were staring right up at him.

It worked! Peepers immediately started to cheer and dance for joy. But he was soon interrupted when a deep voice said, "Um… where am I?"

Oh zrebtank! He never expected the corpse he revived to be sentient... All he needed was a mindless husk! And while he was impressed with himself for breaking even his own expectations... This would certainly complicate things!

Peepers sat down on the skeleton's shoulder and started to speak while fidgeting. "You're on Mati, or at least, that's what we call it." Surely their name for their homeworld was unknown to the rest of the universe when not a single one of them had managed to escape their terrestrial prison.

That didn't seem to mean anything to the skeleton with how they continued to blankly stare at him. 

"Well, by we I mean the watchdogs." Peepers guestured at himself. "My species." Even if he never felt like one of his own kind on a personal level. "And this room here is my laboratory!"

Still nothing. Peepers was starting to suspect what the issue was. 

"Excuse me.... Do you know anything about yourself?" 

The skeleton groaned as they struggled to pull anything out of their mind. Yet after awhile he was forced to admit that nothing came up. "I'm just some guy, I guess? I dunno... kinda drawing a blank here."

"So you have amnesia." Peepers sighed as he gave up on his extremely short-lived hope of him telling him what lay beyond his planet. "Can't say I'm surprised. I did have to reconstitute your brain from trace fragments…"

The skeleton had a feeling that he wouldn't understand most of what that meant even if he did have any memory to go off of. But instead of demanding clarification, he asked, "So… why am I tied up?"

"Oh!" Peepers had genuinely forgotten about that in his excitement. "It was to hold your body in place while I revived you, but…" He averted his eye. "...you won't hurt me if I remove them, would you?"

"What!? No! Of course not!" If anything he felt compelled to keep this tiny creature safe. 

Peepers hesitantly looked at him. There didn't seem to be any reason for him to attack. But if he was wrong… 

Well, Peepers had never placed much value in his own life anyways. 

Still his hands trembled as he undid the straps. The skeleton's wrists were left for last. Once he removed them he slid himself off the table and onto the floor. And as he did so he subtly reached for the blaster he kept in the holster under his cloak. Just in case... 

The skeleton sat up and looked around, marvelling the complex machinery. Had all this been made for him? But as he got a better idea of the layout he noticed a glaring issue. 

"How am I gonna get out of here!?" The only exits he saw were a ladder leading up to a hole in the ceiling and a tunnel covered by a curtain. Both were far too tiny for him. 

"Um…" Peepers glanced up at the metal hatch above the skeleton. "...I probably shouldn't let you out before I let the rest of the watchdogs know about you..." 

Then Peepers grinned. "But I promise to take care of that first thing in the morning!"

Yeah that seemed fair enough. The skeleton had noticed how this watchdog tried to hide his fear and could only imagine how the rest would react. Wouldn't want their first meeting to be them running away screaming.

Still... that left him trapped in this cramped room for the time-being... 

"Can you tell me about them? So I know how to get them to like me?" What the skeleton really wanted was to learn more about the world he had woken up in. More importantly: He didn't want to be alone. 

Peepers had started off with a basic overview of his species and their lifestyle before getting sidetracked as he bemoaned their existence. From there he talked about his efforts to change all that and fondly spoke of his exploits.

Which led to a bit of bitterness over what the watchdogs thought of said efforts leaking out before he realized he'd gotten too vulnerable. How would he ever get the skeleton to listen to him if he knew that he was a loser? Not to mention that he'd gotten far off-topic! He quickly shifted to speaking of watchdog etiquette. 

The skeleton listened closely at first... But soon found that his mind was too foggy to retain most of it. So he settled for just letting the watchdog's voice wash over him while nodding at appropriate intervals. It was nice to just hear him speak.

Peepers continued until morning without tiring. It was the first time someone listened to him ramble instead of telling him to shut up! And actively encouraging him to keep going! With Peepers happily chattering away and the skeleton engrossed with his every word, neither noticed when a watchdog briefly peaked in.

Chapter Text

It was late morning by the time Peepers awoke to find himself draped over the skeleton's shoulder. He couldn't even remember when he had drifted off last night. Did he fall asleep midconversation?

Hopefully not, that sounded embarrassing...

To his surprise the skeleton had fallen asleep too. In fact, he looked just like he did before his revival.

…Wait, why would a skeleton be sleeping?

No, of course a skeleton wouldn't! That was still just an inanimate object!

In hindsight, it was obvious that last night was just a dream. How else would it have gone so perfectly?

But it felt so real! In his panicked state Peepers shook the skeleton awake before realizing that aggravating an undead giant was a really bad idea. Should he be relieved or frightened that he started to stir?

"Huh?" The skeleton groggily rubbed his eyes. "What's going on!?"

"Erm, nothing!" Peepers hated how his instincts took over and forced him to flinch when the skeleton raised his arm. "I just wanted to check that you were still there, y'know?"

A beat. "Mmm'kay, well…" And with that the skeleton was out again.

Now that Peepers looked closer he realized that his chest was rising and falling as if he was breathing. Despite lacking lungs. Muscle memory? No, that wasn't the right phrase... An involuntary habit from when he was alive? And that rumbling wasn't from the remnants from last night's storm. He was snoring!

Maybe someday Peepers would be able to find out how it all worked. But right now he needed to go announce the skeleton's "arrival" to the watchdogs. 

The tunnel system was abuzz with chitter-chatter as Peepers stepped out of his lab. Whenever he passed a cluster of watchdogs it turned to hushed whispers and hurried glances. Which... wasn't exactly unusual...

So the news got out faster than expected, huh? Peepers was less surprised and more wondering how and when someone found out he succeeded. After all, a secret never stayed safe for long with so many eyes packed in here.

But at least it saved him some trouble! All he had to do was explain before everyone got too worked up! And fortunately, this hullabaloo got him a meeting with the Syracuse City Council without any pleading on his part. 

Within a matter of minutes one of the council's guards had come to usher Peepers to the Grand Hall. Which was completely unnecessary. They knew full well that he knew how to get there! Especially when he had slipped in there before to request assistance with his projects on several occasions.

…And he'd been there just a few times after his early inventions blew up, caught on fire, or otherwise became a hazard. But that was in the past! It had been years since any of his creations backfired that badly! Although… he couldn't shake the feeling that this summons was similar...

No! Everything's fine! Peepers forcibly hyped himself back up. Denial was a heavily practiced skill that had single-handedly kept him from giving up after years of ridicule and scorn. Once they understand what he accomplished they'll practically worship him!

The Grand Hall was a natural underground cave far below Syracuse's tunnel system, which was large enough to fit the entire community of several thousand strong at once. It worked well for occasional festivals to keep spirits up while it was lit by strings of lights hanging on the stalactites and filled with music. But otherwise it was silent aside from water dripping. And the darkness made it seem as if it went on forever.

Which– while taking the watchdogs' natural kenophobia into account– worked perfectly for its daily purpose as a council room. Most watchdogs who stood before the council ended up bowing to their elders' will as they stared down at them from their high perch. This tactic elicited the same instinctual response as being watched by predators while standing in an open field.

Even Peepers— who was resistant to their intimidation methods due to his time spent outside and artificially-inflated confidence— couldn't help but feel a little on edge. So he took a deep breath before sliding in front of the council.

"Heeeey everyone!" Peepers smiled while using an overly-chipper tone. "I've got some good news for-"

One of the elders cut him off. "We heard about your… creation."

"Yes! I know! Isn't he wonderful!?" Peepers had his hands clasped in front of him as he dreamily sighed. "With him around we'll never have to cower in fear aga-"

The elder raised a hand to signal for him to cease his useless blathering. Then she slammed her hands onto her table. "We are NOT letting a monster live with us!"

"Yeah!" Another cried out.

"Don't we have enough of those outside without you making more!?"

Peepers could feel his heart shatter as his hands dropped to his sides. He worked so hard for their sakes and this is the thanks he gets!?

…Why did he expect this time to be any different?

"But… but!" Peepers’ eye was filled with desperation as he stepped forward. “He won't hurt us! As a matter of fact he'll protect us! And I have him completely under control!"

"Oh yeah?" The first elder raised her upper lid. "Prove it."

Peepers let out an exasperated groan. How could he prove it when they had just met? He dropped to his knees and clutched his hands together as he cried, "PLEASE just give us a chance and I WILL!"

Another elder pounded their fist while shouting, "We are not giving that thing a chance to devour us all!"

The council devolved into indiscriminate chittering as they discussed the horrors Peepers had wrought. Intermixed with turning to directly berate that little troublemaker. Not that it mattered. He couldn't process any of it as the world seemed to fall away.

A high-pitched screech rang out, singling for everyone to quiet down and snapping Peepers out of his daze. Once the clamouring ceased the eldest spoke.

"Our decision is unanimous. Get rid of it."

"You don't UNDERSTAND!" Peepers yelled as he stomped his foot. "We don't have to live like this anymore! We can finally leave this dinky tunnel system!"

"This is NOT up for debate! If you refuse we'll have no choice but to banish you."

"OH YOU'LL BE SORRY!" Peepers stormed towards the elders without noticing how a pair of guards was closing in on him. "You'll RUE the day you kicked us out!"

One elder did the watchdog approximation of raising their brow. "Is that a threat!?"

"What!?" Peepers nervously chuckled. "No! We'll become the apex predators while you cowardly losers stay cooped up because you refuse to do anything to improve your miserable lives!"

The guards grabbed him by the arms. One punched him in the gut to knock the wind out of him. All his attempts to yell in spite of that came out as pained wheezing. 

"We'll allow you a week to pack for your mother's sake…" The head elder's voice had temporarily softened as she pitied that (two-faced) living beam of sunshine. She was a respected member of the community. She was everything Peepers wasn't.

After a moment of silence for their poor cook her glare returned stronger than before. "...but if you ever return we'll throw you in the acid pit!"

"FINE!" By now Peepers had recovered and was struggling to break free from their grasp. "I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU ALL ANYWAYS!"

After Peepers was unceremoniously thrown out into the hall like trash he dashed back to his lab to see the skeleton waiting for him.

"So…" The skeleton casually asked, oblivious to all that transpired. "How'd it go?"

That was when Peepers finally collapsed into an inconsolable heap.

Chapter Text

Over Peepers' last week he busied himself not with saying his goodbyes but with building a rocket large enough to accommodate them both. What better time to risk it all to escape this dump? Neither of them were wanted here anyways...

With the skeleton's help he'd managed to get it put together just in time! His lab was completely stripped bare as they broke down the structures for material and packed everything worth taking. By the end of the final day they were nestled together within their makeshift ship. Right at the highest point of the plateau covering this rotten watchdog settlement.

"Ready to go?" Peepers asked with his hands hovering over the control panel.

"Yeah. Are you?" Why bother asking? The skeleton had never gotten the chance to become attached to this place.

Peepers wistfully stared out the rocket's tiny window to Mati's rocky cliffs and vast forests. If he didn't know what hid within the trees it would seem so peaceful. The entire planet was a hellhole yet… it was all he'd ever known.

"Ready as ever…" Then he perked up. "I cannot wait to be done with this place!"

The skeleton nodded with a relieved smile. "Cool. Good to hear."

Peepers took a deep breath to summon his courage. This was it! Either they'd lift off or die in a fiery explosion. The prospect was immensely terrifying despite knowing that there was no future for him here. Or at least... not a happy one.

Which is why he refused to back out now! No, he didn't even have a choice! It was all or nothing! And he was confident that an engineering genius like him could pull it off! They'd make history! Even if nobody knew!

"Heeeere we go!" Peepers yelled as he activated the launch sequence. The engine sputtered to life as it drew breath for the first time. He slammed his foot on the gas pedal and let out a sigh when they felt themselves start to rise.

Once they cleared both the atmosphere and asteroid belt without any issues the skeleton hugged Peepers to his chest. "We did it!"

Peepers' eye was transfixed on the window as his home planet got further and further away, giving him a view he'd only dreamed of. "Oh my glorn we did it…" Then he pumped his fists in the air and cheered, "WE DID IT!"

If it wasn't so cramped the skeleton would have given him a high five. But he could barely even wiggle in these tight quarters. His eyes were brimming with hope as he breathlessly asked, "What do you think we'll find?"

Peepers… admittedly didn't think that far ahead. He paused to put his hand on his chin before shrugging a moment later.

"Not sure. I just hope we end up somewhere nice…" His voice was hopeful, yet tinged with anxiety. After all: He wasn't quite sure if the skeleton needed to eat but his food supply would only last so long.

Fortunately it only took them a few days to land. Unfortunately, it was a crash landing. Peepers wasn't sure if he would have survived if the skeleton didn't reflexively shove him inside his ribcage.

The skeleton was forced to punch their way out of the wreckage. Once they were free he gently placed Peepers on the ground, who stumbled for a moment before going to survey the damage.

It was… extensive. Peepers wasn't sure he could fix it without replacing at least half of it! Yet he wasn't surprised. It had been both his first attempt and a rush job cobbled together from scavenged parts. Not bad given the circumstances.

"What now?" The skeleton asked while looking to him for guidance.

Peepers sighed. "I guess first we have to ensure that we won't be stranded here."

They soon found their way to a mess of rectangular wooden structures laid out on the plains with people going through and through. The little watchdog couldn't help but wonder how they kept out predators with only a dinky fence surrounding the settlement. Was this a sign that this planet was safe? The way these people lived was just so alien to the two of them between Peepers coming from a drastically different world and the skeleton having no frame of reference at all.

As they got closer they realized that the structures were even larger than the skeleton, completely towering over Peepers. And its citizens were appropriately sized. When the skeleton noticed that his little friend's pupil had shrunk in terror as he dodged an onslaught of boots, he scooped him up and put him on his shoulder to keep him getting trampled.

There was one building near the edge of the settlement that had people frequently going in and out the glass hatch that they assumed was its entrance. The skeleton ducked slightly and pushed through. A high pitched noise pierced their ears and they froze in place as their heads snapped upwards, only to find a bell. Why would anyone put on that there!?

"Hey! Eyeball and bones!" A voice rang out next to them and they turned to find an irate bush with eyes glowering at them. "You coming in or not?" With that they were snapped out of their trace and the skeleton walked inside.

The interior was filled with tall shelves arranged into a grid, stocked with various meticulously sorted goods. Peepers put his hand to his forehead and held onto the skeleton's metal lead as he scanned the place. Was this their storage facility? What were they supposed to do here?

The skeleton turned his head to Peepers to ask, "So… what're we looking for?"

"I'd like to find some food. Kinda hard to identify everything when it's all sealed in these weird boxes though."

The skeleton opened one to find a bag filled with little pebble-like things. "What's the box even for!?" Wasn't the bag already a container?

"Hey!" The technicolor bush at the counter yelled, "You have to buy that first!"

They both simultaneously tilted their heads. Buy? What did that word even mean?

"Right." Peepers struggled to keep the confusion from his voice. "We totally intend to do that."

The bushperson scoffed before turning their attention back to a flimsy book. "Whatever, man."

They looked around a little longer while shoving various items into Peepers' proportionally oversized sack. At least their crops were readily identifiable. Nothing was the same as home, of course, and Peepers could only hope none of it would poison him.

"I think food's taken care of." They'd gathered as much as Peepers weighed. "But I'm not finding anything that we can use to repair our ship…" Even if there were various presumably non-edible items around he couldn't picture how they'd help with ship repair.

"Then what now?"

Peepers shrugged. "Maybe they keep them somewhere else?"

"Um, excuse me." The skeleton had walked to the counter while ignoring Peepers' insistence that they didn't need help. "Our ship broke down. Where do we find stuff for it?"

"Probably in the auto shop across the street." The bushy ray of sunshine replied without explaining what an auto, shop, or street was. "But we do have some Orbble Juice you can use." They pointed to a nearby shelf.

The skeleton and his companion headed over then turned the bottle around to fully read the label. It… made a bubble you could just walk through space with? Neither of them even pretended to know how that worked.

"Gee, thanks!" Peepers chirped. How nice of them to give them something so useful!

"So are you ready to check out, or…?"

The duo exchanged a glance and nodded at each other, then Peepers said, "Huh, yeah, I guess we are." He smiled and waved as he chirped, "Byeee!"

They both went to head out and just as the skeleton was about to step out the hatch they heard a click. It refused to budge even as he pushed against it with his entire weight.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS THING!?" The skeleton shouted in frustration while continuously shoving it.

"Uhhh, do you really think I'm gonna let you walk out without paying?"

Was that like bartering? The watchdogs primarily just grabbed what they needed from their collective stash. But there were some that insisted on trading hard-to-get items.

Peepers whispered to the skeleton, "I think we have to give them something." But how would they achieve that when everything they owned was back at the wreckage?

"Oh, right." The skeleton walked over and put the box he opened earlier on the counter.

"Oh my glorn..." The person at the counter let out a frustrated huff. "Are you from a commie planet or are you just stupid?"

Whatever a "commie planet" was didn't sound like a place they liked having visitors from. So when the skeleton and Peepers sensed the hostility they bolted with their goods in tow.

The skeleton stuffed Peepers in his ribcage before shielding his chest with his arms and bursting through the hatch, leaving numerous glass shards in his wake.

"HEY!" The now firey bush behind the counter yelled. "GET BACK HERE!"

"NO WAY!" The skeleton yelled back without stopping.

Soon Peepers spotted people in dark outfits with blasters running after them and let out a startled shriek. What was going on!?

"WATCH OUT!" Peepers jumped up to grab the skeleton by the horns and yanked them to force him to tilt his body. The skeleton was about to give him an earful before a beam wizzed right past his face. Where his head was a moment ago! He pushed himself to pick up the pace.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!?"

"I DON'T KNOW BUT WE GOTTA GO! NOW!" Peepers screamed as he pulled the Orbble Juice out and started to wave its wand. After a few failed attempts one bubble enveloped them and lifted them upwards. If their lives weren't in danger they'd be thoroughly impressed.

The skeleton continued to dodge while he ran with Peepers warning him of incoming beams. After what seemed like an eternity they were out of range.

"So that's why they aren't scared of monsters attacking!" Peepers said between pants. "They're the monsters!"

The skeleton was inclined to agree. Who else would try to kill people over some food and bubbles!?

They made their way back to the wreckage, gathered up what they could, and swiftly left this awful planet. 

Chapter Text

The skeleton and Peepers steadily learned how other species exchanged resources through a series of failures. Most planets– or at least, most planets that didn't see the skeleton and immediately chase them away out of fear– seemed to either barter or barter by proxy using tokens.

The transactional nature was weird, but Peepers supposed that it made sense when dealing with outsiders who may skip town before earning their keep. And the tokens they valued were both easier to carry and eliminated the hassle of bartering. Exchanging them for new sets as they traveled sounded complicated though.

As for how the other planets used violence to enforce their trading systems, well, neither of them could deny that it was effective…

Yet understanding didn't bring the skeleton or Peepers any closer to finding a way to join in. They tried trading, but even Peepers' hard-won treasures were junk in their eyes. They tried offering their skills, but without anyone to vouch for them, they were usually brushed off.

The few times they weren't were when the skeleton did manual labor only to get stiffed in the end.

So Peepers and the skeleton continued getting supplies with the only method that had consistently worked: Grabbing whatever they could carry and running for their lives. At first it had only been bare necessities. But why should they restrain themselves when they were already getting hunted down for it!?

By the time they'd amassed a van and enough furnishings to make it comfortable they were willing to try playing by the local rules again. Wouldn't it be nice if they could just stay in one place without having to flee soon after they arrived? All they needed to make it happen were some of those tokens.

There weren't many opportunities available for them to earn them. Yet as the skeleton looked at the instruments they'd picked up on whim, he realized that there was something they hadn't tried.

Peepers was planning another one of their "shopping" trips when he felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up from his notes. "What's up?"

"Hey… y'know how we're always having to just grab things and go?"

Peepers tilted his head to the side. "Yeah?"

The skeleton picked up his guitar and broadly grinned as he asked, "Well what if I told you that I know a way to change that?"

Peepers eyed him, then glanced over at his own drum set. "You couldn't possibly mean…"

"Duh!" The skeleton strummed his guitar. "With our raw talent they'll be begging to have us stick around!"

That… wasn't a completely terrible idea aside from one fatal flaw: Their talent was certainly raw, like an uncooked slab of meat. Peepers was still getting back into the swing of things after only playing simple bits in festivals as a kid. And the skeleton was a complete beginner.

"Don't you think you'd need a name before you make a name for yourself?" Peepers knew that the skeleton had been taking his time on deciding and hoped that reminding him would distract him from this scheme.

The skeleton huffed. "It's Lord Hater."

"...Huh." Peepers had a bad feeling about this. He forced his voice to sound extra peppy as he said, "That's a great name! So how'd you come up with it?"

Hater frowned slightly before turning away. "It just sounds cool, okay!?"

His refusal to explain spoke volumes. Peepers felt guilty as he connected it to the increasing frequency at which he found Hater listless, or crying when he thought Peepers was sleeping. He identified with hatred that much?

It was all Peepers' fault. Hater had already served his time in this miserable universe. And Peepers had brought him back for his own selfish ends. He'd apologize for reviving Hater if it wouldn't just come off as saying he wanted him dead.

"Well? What do you think!?" Hater was oblivious to Peepers' inner turmoil as he idly strummed his guitar with a big goofy grin.

How could Peepers shoot this idea down when performing would make Hater happy? What did they have to lose anyways? All that mattered was that Hater would have fun. And there was nothing Hater needed more than a chance to enjoy himself.

Peepers forced himself to smile as he chirped, "I love it! So what're they gonna call us?"

"I was thinking Lord Hater and the Harbingers of Doom." Hater tried to sound casual but as he spoke he nervously glanced at Peepers for approval.

"Shouldn't it be Lord Hater and the Harbinger of Doom?" As if they'd find another band mate.

Hater crossed his arms. "Harbingers sounds cooler."

Peepers mentally compared them before concluding that he had a point. As he pulled his drum set towards the clearing on their van's floor, he said, "I take it we're doing metal."

The majority of the disks they grabbed when they first robbed a music store ended up containing heavy metal, and they quickly found that they liked it that way.

"Yeah!" Hater grinned at him. "You in?"

Peepers nodded. Sure, he could work with that. Metal was experimental enough that some of their mistakes could be passed off as purposeful choices.

He just hoped that Hater wouldn't go for screamo when his voice was his strong point. His singing wasn't the greatest either, yet he had clear potential.

With that Hater started gushing about his high hopes for their performance as they worked out their first song's melody. Peepers didn't expect any of it to come true. But it didn't matter as long as Hater had fun! He just hoped he wouldn't get his spirits crushed... 

The newly-dubbed Lord Hater and his sole harbinger poured their hearts and souls into preparing for their debut concert. Over the next few weeks they'd practiced until their fingers were numb. They refined the songs they wrote by hashing them out together.

They scouted out potential venues, mostly by seeing if they could park their van there and if any cops were stationed nearby. They even got special effects together, with a mix of stolen machines and ones Peepers cobbled together from scrap.

The big day seemed to come in a blink of an eye. Hater and the Harbingers of Doom weren't exactly making their debut in some grand concert hall. Yet it was better than a street corner. That is, as long as they didn't get caught.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Hater asked Peepers for what had to be the thousandth time.

"Of course I'm sure! This is a public bandshell!"

Hater scowled as he heaved an amp onto his shoulder. "Thought public stuff was only for taxpaxers," he grumbled as he repeated the words they heard when they got kicked out of a public park before.

Peepers stopped working on wiring up their equipment to dismissively wave his hand. "That's just a stupid excuse."

"Don't they make people pay to play here or whatever?"

Peepers sighed. "Look, nobody's gonna ask for a permit as long as we act like we belong here. So don't worry about it."

Good enough for Hater. If anyone did they'd just make a run for it. Haven't been caught yet.

Soon Hater and the Harbinger(s) of Doom had gotten everything set up and gained a curious crowd in the meantime. A few left once they'd actually started playing but for the most part the crowd seemed pleased.

Once they reached their performance's halfway point Hater walked up to the edge of the stage and proudly bowed. "Good to see that everyone's having fun!"

Peepers ran up next to him and gestured to the open guitar case they'd put in front of the stage. "But we're not playing for free so if you'd like us to contin-"

One audience member scoffed. "Ugggh. Who'd wanna pay for that?"

"You're like, sooo bad it's funny!"

"What a pair of dweebs."

"SHUT UP!" Hater yelled while stomping his fists. "I saw you jerks rocking out earlier!"

"C'mon, we're really not asking for much… You liked it, so what's wrong with tossing us a few coins?"

The first heckler crossed his tentacle appendages as he said, "Only ironically. You still su-"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?" Hater screamed as he jabbed his finger at him. He was about to say more when a bolt of lightning shot out of his hand and hit him square in the chest.

It was like time had frozen in place. Even Hater himself was stunned by what just happened.

Peepers was quick to turn the tides in their favor. He whipped his blaster out and trained it on the nearest audience member as he yelled,

"We're not playing for the heck of it! So cough up whatever you've got!"

Wow. Hater was as caught off-guard by Peepers' reaction as he was with his newfound powers. But Peepers was right. They worked hard, they drew a crowd, they deserved to get paid!

So when Peepers briefly glanced at Hater and did what he could only guess was supposed to be a wink, Hater raised his fists in the air. And this time, he felt more in control as he focused on drawing electricity to his hands.

"Yeah! Hand it over OR ELSE!"

With that they both jumped off the stage and started terrorizing the crowd. Some got shaken down directly. Others tossed their coins– or even their whole coin pouches– in their general direction before running off.

Once the dust had settled they gathered up their reward. Peepers stopped by to pick the fried heckler's pockets as Hater stopped to watch.

"...Do you think he's okay?" Hater asked, with his hand hovering near his mouth in horror.

Peepers put a hand on the heckler's neck, then nodded. "Yeah, still a pulse there. He'll be fine!"

Peepers didn't know that. He didn't know anything about what he just found out Hater could do. But he'd say anything to get that guilty look off his face.

Hater breathed a sigh of relief and wiped sweat(?) off his brow(?). "Oh thank gr-"

Annnd that's when they heard the police sirens. Hater scrambled to pack up while Peepers' swept as much money as he could, then they hopped into their van and sped off. 

After they'd shaken off the last of their pursuers, Hater turned to Peepers. "What was that!? And since when did you have a gun!?" Since when did a guy as sweet as him have such a vicious side?

Peepers still hadn't quite processed what just went down himself. Instead of focusing on that, he kept his eye trained ahead of him as he continued to drive.

"Remember the monsters on Mati I told you about? Had to learn how to protect myself somehow."

…That must have been one of the things Peepers told him about when they first met that Hater failed to retain. So that explained where it came from on Peepers' part. But what about Hater?

After a pause, Hater asked, "Did you know about the whole lightning thing?"

As much as Peepers wanted to pretend he had all the answers, he shook his head. "I guess there was more magic involved in the process than I thought?"

That didn't answer much. But the more Hater and Peepers learned about the universe, the more they learned that magic didn't lend itself well to explanations.

"...Huh. Does that mean I'm some sorta wizard?"

Peepers shrugged. "Beats me."

Neither had much else to say. After a bit Peepers checked the van's sonar systems for obstacles one last time. He turned their rudimentary autopilot on before going to tally up their haul.

Hater continued to sit there and space out as he watched the stars go by. Even their so-called shopping trips didn't drain him this much. He was about to drift off when Peepers called out.

"Hey bud! You gotta come look at this!"

Hater rushed over to find Peepers sitting in front of large stacks of coins. He climbed up on Hater's shoulder and put his calculator in front of his face.

"We have enough to last us a few months!" Then he wryly chuckled and elbowed Hater. "Maybe we should do this sort of thing more often?"

Hater wasn't sure what that amount meant in terms of costs. Could they really just be normal for a while?

Of course they could! Peepers knew what was up! He seriously considered Peepers' proposal, not sure if he was joking or not.

Then Peepers put the calculator back in his pocket and casually leaned against Hater's head. "This is far more efficient than shoplifting! And this way, we can stick to robbing people who deserve it."

Instead of otherwise nice people whose only crime was not giving the duo what they needed (...or wanted.) There were plenty of people who had an abundance of resources to spare. Why not go after the ones that wouldn't even notice their loss?

Hater grinned as he reached up to lightly pat Peepers' back. "That's totally cooler than what we've been doing!" Then he stretched his arms out as he exclaimed, "We could be like the guys in the heist movies!"

"Yeah! With my brains and your power we'll be unstoppable!"

Things were finally starting to go their way  And neither would admit it, but they liked seeing the fear on those pricks' faces as they ran away in fear. After all they've put up with, after all the hostility they've faced, they were eager to cause some mayhem! 

Chapter Text

They drove as far as they could before Peepers realized that he couldn't ignore that annoying, biological need that made itself apparent on road trips. Fortunately the nearest rest stop was just a quick skip and a hop away.

Normally Hater would come out with him just to stretch his legs, idling about and taking in the sights while Peepers did his business. Occasionally he'd even go in the stall next to him and pretend that he needed to use it too, just to feel included.

Mostly by making fart sounds until Peepers went from laughing to begging for him to leave.

Since Hater had no sense of urgency, he'd usually lag behind. So Peepers would rush out without checking if he was following, then find him when he was done so they could leave.

Except this time Peepers couldn't find Hater. He wasn't staring at any roadside attractions, he wasn't watching any of those tourist videos (the closest Hater and Peepers ever had to TV), and he wasn't even trying to sneak up on any wild animals in another vain attempt to pet one.

Eventually Peepers checked one of the last places he could expect to find Hater: The back of the van. Part of why Peepers saved it for last was because he'd only opt to stay behind if he was down in the dumps. And his mood seemed too good for that earlier.

Guess Hater processed how badly their debut went after the adrenaline wore off. Peepers took a deep breath before opening the van's back door and climbing in.

…Or maybe he was still taking a nap. Peepers thanked his lucky stars that Hater didn't need any comforting. Still, usually landing was enough to wake him up.

"Hey Hater…" Peepers' voice was soft and warm as walked over to Hater's face and put his hand on his shoulder. "You sure you don't wanna see Hifx before we drive away forever?"

Hm. Nothing. Peepers put his whole body into pushing Hater, which was just enough to make him rock. After a few tries Hater slowly opened his eyes.

"Peepers…" Hater groggily grumbled. "Just five more minutes…"

In any other circumstance Peepers would leave him be and get back in the driver's seat. But Hater's eyes were dim, which made Peepers go from mildly concerned to alarmed.

Instead Peepers rapidly shook his head. "I need you awake while I figure this out!"

Hater's voice was slow and weak. "Figure what out?"

"That's what I'm working on!"

It had just occurred to Peepers that he hardly knew anything about Hater's physiology. Maybe nobody did. They hadn't spotted any creatures like him yet.

And the idea of Peepers being the expert by default terrified him.

After what seemed like forever yet was only a few seconds, Peepers yelled, "Try raising your arm!"

It was such a simple demand. So why couldn't Hater raise his hand more than a few inches!? He'd just started groaning in frustration when Peepers rested his hands on Hater's arm to make him lower it.

"That's enough," Peepers said with a sigh. He flopped down in front of Hater's face so he could closely study his eyes. The only part of him that outwardly looked any different.

"What now?"

Another sigh. "I dunno, rest maybe? You want me to grab anything for you?"

A blanket. Except Hater wasn't sure how Peepers would find one his size or lug it back on his own if he did. Instead, Hater went for his second choice.

"A Thunderblazz?"

Peepers nodded before getting up to dig their trusty coin on a string out of the glovebox. But then– as he saw a glint from the corner of his eye– he realized that he could do this the easy way for once.

Not only that, the normal, acceptable way!

Soon a small fraction of their earnings were exchanged for as much Thunderblazz as Peepers could carry in one go. Which was only three bottles.

Once Peepers got back to the van he tossed one to Hater out of habit, before being reminded of why he'd fetched it for him when it went over him and sailed straight into the passenger seat.

"...Want some help?"

"Please."

Peepers kneeled down and slowly poured Thunderblazz into his mouth. He didn't expect anything to happen aside from hydrating Hater's handful of organs. So when Hater grabbed it and started chugging Peepers stumbled backwards out of shock.

Hater sat up and rapidly downed the remaining soda. He'd started to crush it just to assure himself of his returned strength, before he remembered the bounty program some planets had on plastic bottles, blew it back up, and threw it in their bottle bag.

"Got any more!?"

Peepers rapidly nodded, not sure what to say. He handed Hater one, retrieved the one he'd thrown earlier, and ran to grab more.

By the time Hater had drank twice Peepers' volume in Thunderblazz he was back to normal. Better, actually. He felt like he could run a marathon!

"Look Peepers!" Hater cheered as sparks leaked out of his hands.

"Not in the van!" Peepers cried out while doing his best to shove him out the back doors.

Hater climbed out himself, then shot a bolt into the sky.

"Hater! We're trying to stay low, remember!?"

Oh. Right. He'd been so caught up in feeling like a physical god that he'd forgotten about the whole being wanted for shoplifting and beating people up thing.

Fortunately nobody seemed to be around to see that.

"So how'd you go from not even being able to lift yourself to that!?"

"I think the Thunderblazz gives me thunder powers!"

That… sounded stupid. Peepers raised his finger to try to object, yet couldn't form any solid argument against it.

After a long pause he bought a bottle of his own, forced himself to down the sickeningly sweet stuff that jabbed his throat with a thousand tiny needles, and threw his hand towards the sky.

Nothing.

"Yeeeaaahh I don't think that's right."

"And you realized that after you wasted a bottle!?"

Hater loved that stuff. Peepers acted like drinking it was pure agony. So why would he put himself through that when he could hand it to someone who appreciated it?

Peepers shrugged. "Worth a shot, I guess." It would be neat if Thunderblazz lived up to its advertising.

After a pause he flatly added, "You should be their spokesperson."

Hater burst into laughter, and in the pauses between laughs he wheezed, "As if they'd put me on camera!"

"No, you'd totally be great at it!"

Peepers climbed up onto Hater's shoulders and imitated the proud, booming voice Hater used earlier as he exclaimed,

"I'm Lord Hater and thanks to Thunderblazz I'm the most powerful guy in the galaxy!"

He then mimicked how Hater's hands moved when he shot lightning and made thunder noises to complete the effect.

"HAH!" Hater gave Peepers a pat on the back. "Good one!"

The two of them decided to stick around for a little longer now that Hater was up for exploring. And later, after they were both settled down, Peepers asked,

"So how'd you know that'd work?"

"I didn't."

"Eh?"

Hater fondly smiled as he rolled his eyes. "You know how I like my sugar."

Huh. So what's good for his spirits ended up being exactly what his body needed. Although…

Peepers put his hand to his chin as he mulled it over. Hater had gotten to that state after extensively using his newfound electrical powers. If Peepers thought of Hater less like a skeleton and more like a pure-electrical being housed in a skeleton, his crash made far more sense.

No wonder all it took was copious amounts of sugar to recharge him. Maybe they should do some testing to find out what else he could use a fuel, and see what's most efficient.

"Hey Hater."

"Huh?"

"Do you think we could squeeze a whole vending machine in our van?"

Hater took a moment to consider it before shooting Peepers a confused look. "Maybe? Why?" Peepers always said that they never stocked anything he likes.

"Oh it's not for me. It's for you."

Hater shrugged. That seemed like a weird way to celebrate his discovery and subsequent recovery. But Hater was never against pigging out on some crunchy snacks and sweets.

They ended up cracking it open instead, with Peepers loosening the bolts and Hater brute-forcing the rest. A bag of loot was far easier to transport. 

...And wouldn't crush Peepers if it fell over.