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Chapter Text

The little boy smiled, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

He had been begging his parents for months to go to the amusement park that opened on the outskirts of Seoul about a year ago. Almost all of his classmates had already gotten to go at least once and the boy was thrilled with their stories of fun rides and yummy treats and sparkling fireworks in the evenings. If he was completely honest, he was also maybe a tiny bit jealous that they got to go and he didn't. 

His parents had explained to him that the park was expensive and that they couldn't really pay for it. They were also always so busy with their jobs and taking care of the boy and his younger brother. 

The little boy knew all that. He might only be seven years old, but he understood that his parents worked this hard for their children, trying to give them the best home possible. And even though he really wanted to go to that park and was disappointed that he couldn't, the boy wouldn't trade his family for anything. 

Their family was small, it was only the four of them, always had been, from what he knew. His mother's parents were in heaven and his father had once said that he never knew his parents. The boy didn't exactly understand what that meant, but he guessed it must be a bad feeling, so he made sure to hug his father extra tight every night before going to bed. 

Their family might not be big, but they loved each other, and they had everything they needed, so the little boy stopped asking his parents about the park after a little while. He didn't want to make them feel bad that they couldn't fulfill his wish after all. 

And like that, the boy had let go of his wish and he actually had more or less forgotten about the park since the initial excitement at school had also died down by now.

Today though... 

Today was the boy's seventh birthday. The boy loved birthdays. His own, of course, but also those of his family members. He probably liked those even better because he could give them gifts and make them happy.

The boy loved seeing his family happy. 

Knowing about his parents' money struggle, he hadn't really wished for anything for his birthday this year. In the last few weeks, his parents had been working many extra hours, so he reckoned money was a problem once again and he didn't want to create more problems with selfish wishes. 

He had woken up this morning not expecting much, but looking forward to being the center of attention for the day. However, instead of the usual birthday breakfast spread, the kitchen table only held four lunchboxes. His parents had hugged him tight and wished him a happy birthday and then they had told him that for his birthday they were going on a family trip to the amusement park. The boy's heart had done a weird flipping thing from excitement. 

Suddenly he understood why his parents had been working late so often. He understood the hushed conversations between his mother and father that would stop abruptly when he entered a room. His parents had worked extra hard to fulfill a wish he himself had almost forgotten about.

He really had the best family in the whole world.

Right now, they were on their way to the park. They would be going by train because his parents didn't own a car. Another exciting part of the day for the little boy. He didn't take the train very often, there was a bus that took him to school and all the shops the family usually went to were close to their apartment. 

Making their way to the train station together, he looked at his family members. His father was holding his younger brother's hand tightly as they walked side by side, his mother and the boy himself right behind them.

He still couldn't believe they were actually going to the amusement park.

The boy's heart swelled with happiness. 

He loved his family so much.

Chapter Text

Min Yoongi put down his headphones and sighed. This song would just be the death of him. He couldn't remember ever having been so hung up on a composition before. Or a song taking him so long to finish. And it had been a really long time.

He scowled, remembering how the melody first came to him right after his band mates and him had officially formed a pack. Not a show pack, as some bands did, but a real one, something not very common in the music industry nowadays.

Yoongi smiled to himself at that memory. If anyone had told him back in Daegu that a few years down the road he would find himself not only a successful producer, but also a very famous idol in a boy group and mated to not just one, but five absolutely gorgeous young men, forming a pack with them...

Well, if anyone had told him that back then, he'd have laughed at them and told them to get their heads checked.

Not that he didn't believe he would one day be a successful producer. Yoongi always knew he would make it somehow in the music industry, after all he was nothing if not determined. But an idol in a boyband? Him? The guy who hated dancing and didn't give a damn about these idol stereotypes? An underground rapper putting on makeup and following group choreographies instead of flowing freely? There's no way he would have believed that.

And then the mates thing...

Yoongi had been determined not to have a pack again ever. He had also not been interested in mating somebody at all. At least not after what had happened back in Daegu. Too much affection made him uncomfortable, he just didn't know how to deal with it anymore. He was by no means an easy person; he valued his personal space a lot and already the thought of just one partner (not even a mate!) had made him feel like he wasn't cut out for that.

He stopped himself at that thought. There was too much to unpack there, he really didn’t want to think about that now.

Yoongi scoffed and looked at the photo of his mates on his desk. Thankfully his company had had different plans for him. If they hadn't convinced him to try as a member of BTS, he might not be mated today.

He probably also wouldn't be mated if his band members hadn't been so insistent in endearing themselves to him until he couldn't imagine life without them anymore.

Yoongi hadn't even noticed that the others had begun courting each other, too lost in his own world - which at that time had consisted of training (why did idols have to dance so much?), songwriting and sleeping.

When Namjoon had called a band meeting, he had genuinely thought it was work related - only to have the shock of his lifetime when he not only heard that his members were courting each other, but that they also wanted to court him, too.He had laughed, thinking it clearly must have been a joke - only to immediately sober up again when nobody laughed with him.

Thinking back to that time, he has to bite back a laugh now. He sure as heck hadn't made it easy for his mates, making sure to constantly expose them to all his undesirable sides just to show them that they didn't really want him after all. He couldn't remember ever having been that grumpy for such a long time. Not that his effort was rewarded or at least not in the way he had intended. As it turned out, his members hadn't cared for his grumpiness, his short and sharp replies and his disinterest in group activities. They had just smiled and continued courting him, making sure he had coffee in the morning, bringing him meals to the studio when he holed himself up there, helping him with his dance practice when he was once again feeling helpless with a choreography and just sitting in silence with him. And throughout it all they had been respecting his need for his personal space.

No matter how sturdy he had built up the walls around him, his members had been determined to take them down. Their patience and persistence had worn him out until he couldn't imagine being apart from them anymore. The day he had officially accepted their courting had sealed the fate of their pack. Namjoon had insisted they still take it slowly, going on dates, getting to know each other.

They had courted for about a year before they officially became a pack - and mates. Yoongi would never forget the night they mated. The bond snapping into place, being able to feel his mates' emotions, the happiness and giddiness and the overwhelming love - Min Yoongi rarely showed his emotions, but he might have shed a tear or two that night. He had felt so right for the first time in his life.

And this melody had formed in his head.

He had held onto it, starting to work on it two days later. A song for his mates, that's what it was intended to become - he would gift it to them maybe at the half year anniversary of their official mating date.

Only that didn't work out.

At first, it had been easy. The melody had already been there and he just had added to it, created a beat, polished it. The lyrics weren't that hard, either. He had poured his feelings for his mates into those, sharing his love and affection for them. And then, when he had thought the song was finished, he listened to it, and something was just off. Yoongi had never experienced anything like this. Usually he could figure out quite easily what was wrong with a song, but with this one he was stumped. When he couldn't find a solution even after several days, he had pushed it back - after all there was still time until his self-set deadline.

But distancing himself from the song hadn't helped. Yoongi didn't finish it in time for the half year anniversary, not for the one-year anniversary and also not for their two-year anniversary. He had tried, of course, but it just never worked out.

And now he was sitting here again, a few months away from their three-year anniversary. Anyone else would probably have given up by now, but Min Yoongi was nothing if not stubborn. He had started this and he would finish it.

Someday.

He sighed again, looking at the clock. Already past 2 a.m. - when had it gotten this late? He had been planning on staying overnight in the studio to finally finish this song and then crash on his couch. But the song was as uncooperative as always and after thinking about his mates he really didn't want to spend the night alone on the uncomfortable couch. Not when he had a soft bed and five warm and cuddly mates waiting for him at home. He scowled at that thought. They really had made him go soft.

It looked like he was going home tonight after all.

Yoongi weighed his options. Public transportation was out of service for the rest of the night, it was too late already. There was no way he would call and wake up Seokjin to ask to be picked up this late at night. He supposed he could call a taxi, but getting one on a Saturday night in Seoul could take forever with all the clubbers and party people.

The dorm wasn't far though. They still called it a dorm even though it was an actual apartment suited for their pack nowadays, he thought amused.

He could walk. Seoul wasn't as dangerous at night as it used to be nowadays after all. Not since one of the two big rivaling gangs in the city had been completely dismantled by police forces a few months ago.

Yoongi smirked. Their management most likely would have a fit if they knew he was walking through the back alleys of Seoul all alone in the middle of the night. That thought alone helped him make his decision. Saving his work so far, he turned off his computer, grabbed his phone and keys and headed out into the night.

Chapter Text

‘He must be either really dumb or have a serious wish to get mugged’, Jimin muttered to himself. 

He had been out on his usual nighttime rounds when the stranger had caught his eye. It wasn't often he saw someone like him, someone who quite obviously wasn't short of money from the way he looked, walking around alone in downtown Seoul in the middle of the night.

It just wasn't safe. 

Jimin sighed. Did the man not know what territory he was in? Did people really think one gang less roaming the streets of Seoul equaled less danger, especially at night?

Right when that thought had crossed his mind, he caught a glimpse of two shadows across the street.

So someone was already following the guy, huh?

Not that it surprised Jimin, it really didn't. The man literally was easy prey unless he had some hidden martial arts skills or so. Jimin snorted at that thought. Chances for that were probably pretty low. 

He frowned. It really wasn't any of his business, so why was he still following these people anyway? He should just stay away, he really couldn't afford to get into trouble, let alone draw attention to himself.

Jimin watched in disbelief as the stranger suddenly turned left, away from the main street and into an even darker back alley -  oblivious to the two people who had been trailing him from the shadows for a while now. Three, actually, if Jimin counted himself, too.

He watched the two figures slip into the alley a few moments after the stranger and contemplated. Should he follow them? Those two stalkers were probably up to nothing good. The way that guy was dressed was screaming money. And he had just stepped into one of the dark alleys with nothing around. If those two meant bad business, they now had their chance presented to themselves on a silver platter. 

Jimin shook his head. Choosing an unpopulated and dark back alley - of all the stupid things to do...

If there was anyone who knew these streets well, it was Park Jimin. He had them all mapped out in his head, he knew every nook and cranny, every hidden spot. It had taken him a long time and many days and nights of exploring and observing, but he was pretty confident that at this point he was an expert on the alleys of downtown Seoul. 

He knew exactly how this alley was mapped out, too. 

There weren't any bars or clubs back there and most of the streetlights, if not all, were broken. It was just a small alley between the backsides of some office buildings, connecting the main street they came from to the one running parallel with it.

If ever a place was perfect for a mugging, this alley was it. 

‘Screw this’, Jimin muttered to himself.He just couldn't risk going in there and possibly exposing himself. If something happened in that alley, it was definitely the stranger's own fault. Jimin didn't even know him, he shouldn't care.

Why did he care?

He shook his head, turned around and began to walk back the way he came from.

-----

Seoul at night was different, Yoongi thought. So quiet, somewhat peaceful. He didn't usually get to experience it like this. They would always be in cars being driven from and to their destinations. It was safer that way, management insisted. 

Yoongi snorted. He understood the need to keep the idols safe, but really, what was the issue? He had been walking for about twenty minutes now and hadn't even met anyone ever since leaving the bar and clubbing district behind. And that had been bustling with people. So, between a place too full of people to be potentially dangerous and a place where absolutely nobody was around, what even was supposed to happen to him? 

He sighed, realizing he probably had another half hour or so of walking ahead of him. Yoongi really just wanted to be home already. Having thought of his mates had made him miss them. All he wanted to do was cuddle up in bed with them and sleep. 

Taking out his phone, Yoongi pulled up his route and checked the map for a shortcut. He wasn't really familiar with the area beyond the main streets, but maybe he could find a way to get home faster.

Luck was on his side, it seemed. He zoomed into the map to take a closer look. If he took that alley a few meters up ahead, he could actually cut his way significantly shorter. From the exit point it should only take him another fifteen minutes or so to finally get home. Smiling to himself, he walked a bit faster, spring in his step, and turned left.

The alley was narrow and dark. There were some streetlights, but most of them seemed to be broken.

Yoongi turned on the flashlight on his phone. The last thing he needed was to trip over something and potentially hurt himself. He didn't want to face Seokjin's scolding for being so reckless or management's reprimands for walking home by himself at night. This little adventure would stay his secret, he decided there and then. 

Yoongi had made it about halfway through the alley when he heard a sound. He froze for a second.

Was there somebody else here? 

Looking over his shoulder, all he could see was darkness. A frown formed on his face. Hadn't there been one intact streetlight before? Maybe it had burned out like the others? 

A sudden sound came from in front of him and he whirled back around. Lifting his phone to point the flashlight, he saw a cat rummaging through some garbage bags. His shoulders relaxed. It was just a cat.

‘You almost gave me a heart attack, little one’, he mumbled as he began to continue his way through the alley. 

For a moment he really had thought there was someone following him. He wouldn't ever admit to anyone how relieved he had been when he had spotted the cat. Min Yoongi, fierce rapper of BTS, scared by a cat? His mates would never let him live this one down.

A hand suddenly slammed over his mouth and within seconds he was pushed face first into a wall. His phone fell from his hands, shattering somewhere on the ground, flashlight turning off. 

Overcome with shock, Yoongi's mind reeled. So there had been someone there after all? He wriggled in the steel like grip, trying to get away from his attacker or to at least free his mouth so he could shout for help.

‘You're a feisty one, eh?’, he heard someone chuckle. 

Yoongi froze. That was the most menacing chuckle he had ever heard. In a desperate attempt to get away, he used all of his strength to push himself off the wall, making his full body weight crash into his attacker, both of them stumbling backwards.Caught by surprise, the other let go of his victim.

Trying to find his balance, Yoongi stumbled forward, away from whoever it was that had attacked him. He wanted to scream for help, but his voice seemed trapped in his throat. 

Someone cursed behind him. Yoongi didn't dare look back, instead he focused on reaching the end of the alley. He was so close to the main street, he could make it, he would be alright, he would go home and cuddle his mates and be safe.

A shadow suddenly blocked his vision. Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks. From behind him, his attacker chuckled dangerously. 

‘You put on more of a fight than expected, but you aren't going anywhere. Did you seriously think you could get away from us this easily?’

Yoongi swallowed hard. 

Two. 

There were two attackers, and he was trapped between them in this narrow alley. 

He suddenly wished he had slept in the studio tonight, wished he had called Seokjin to pick him up, wished he had tried to get a taxi, however long it might have taken, wished he had listened to the warnings of the company's management. All he had wanted was to be with his mates, how did he end up in this situation? 

He swallowed again.

‘Wha- what do y-you want from me?’, he managed to squeak out.

Yoongi hated himself for that. Why did he sound so scared? This only made him seem even weaker. Why couldn't he at least sound threatening so as to maybe scare those two into leaving him alone? 

He felt pathetic.

‘Aside from whatever valuables you might be carrying around?’, the man in front of him asked. 

He stepped closer, causing Yoongi to step back, away from him, only to bump right into the guy who had attacked him in the first place. 

An arm circled around his waist, drawing Yoongi's back closer to the man's chest as a voice drawled into his ear.

‘Isn't that obvious?’, his captor chuckled.The guy's hot breath on his neck made Yoongi's skin crawl.

‘We want to have some fun with you’, the man in front of him added, moving impossibly closer to Yoongi, effectively trapping him between both of his attackers' bodies. 

Yoongi felt his own body stiffen. This couldn't be happening. All he had wanted was to go home.

He didn't want this. 

Desperately he tried to wriggle out of their hold, but four hands held him with the steel-like grip he had already come to hate. They were moving now, dragging him deeper into the alley again.

Yoongi couldn't let this happen, he wouldn't.

Opening his mouth to scream for help, however little hope there might be for someone to hear him, he took a deep breath. 

A hand slammed over his mouth.

Again. 

‘No screaming. Another attempt at screaming and you will be gagged. You wouldn't want that now, would you?’, one of his attackers hissed.

Yoongi tried to shake his head as frantically as he could, eyes wide. No, please. He didn't want that. He wouldn't scream if that meant they wouldn't gag him. 

‘Good. Just be a good boy for us and we make sure you will enjoy this, too’, the voice whispered, and the hand left his mouth. 

Yoongi took a shaky breath, too afraid to say anything. He would never enjoy this. He didn't want to enjoy it. This was fucked up and he didn't want any of it. He cursed himself internally for having put himself into this situation. Why couldn't he just sleep in his studio or call for a ride? 

Tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he was once again pressed against a wall. Hot breath hit him as lips started to kiss down his neck. Hands began roaming over his body, sliding under his sweater, running up and down his chest, feeling him up, slipping into his pants, as others began to tear at his clothes.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Yoongi resigned himself to what was about to come.

There was a flash of light followed by a loud banging sound. His attackers yelled in surprise, drawing away from Yoongi slightly to look around the alley. 

‘What the heck was that?!’, one of them shouted. 

‘Probably some drunk running into that defective streetlight down there’, the other said. ‘I'll go check it out, you hold on to him’ he continued and pointed at Yoongi. 

Yoongi's heart sank. For a moment he had thought that he might be able to get away after all. But the steel-like grip on his wrist made it clear that they weren't intending to let him go just because of a little commotion down the alley. 

He tried to steady his breathing. It wouldn't do him any good if he had a panic attack now. It would only play into their hands. He needed to calm himself down.

Thoughts of his mates crossed Yoongi's mind. They would be devastated if something were to happen to him. How could he have been so thoughtless and wander out into the night like this? 

Tears kept rolling down his face as he spiraled more and more into the panic attack he was so desperately trying to avoid.

Another flash and another bang, this time closer than before. Yoongi and his attacker both jumped at the sound. 

‘Yo, you good down there?’, the man with the steel grip shouted down the alley.

There was no answer.

The guy cursed. 

‘What the fu-’, he was cut off mid sentence when something hit his head hard. His grip on Yoongi loosened a bit and he stumbled a step back, letting go with one hand.  

‘Run!’, a voice whispered close to Yoongi, but Yoongi's hazy mind rendered that impossible. He couldn't even think straight anymore, how was he supposed to run? His legs felt like they would give out under him at any moment now. 

There was a sigh as a hand circled his now free wrist, holding on almost as tightly as his attacker had, yet so much more gently. 

Suddenly he was moving, being pulled out of his attacker's weakened grip and stumbling after the person who now kept an iron grip on his wrist, dragging Yoongi with him as they ran into the night, away from the alley and his attackers.

Chapter Text

There was the sound of footsteps behind them, echoing loudly in the quiet and empty back alleys of downtown Seoul. It was a threatening sound, almost defeaning and definitely nerve-wracking.

Throwing a quick glance over his shoulder, Jimin cursed. Of course those two wouldn’t be taken out that easily. He had been lucky to have the surprise effect on his side. Tightening his grip on the guy‘s wrist, he turned to him slightly without slowing down. 

‘I’m really sorry, but this isn’t over yet. Can you keep up?’, he asked.

The other just looked at him blankly. Had he even heard him? Not for the first time Jimin had to wonder just why he had gotten himself involved in this. 

He picked up the pace and drew the man with him into an almost hidden alley. Sparing the guy another look, he decided that no, he most likely would not be able to keep up much longer.

Jimin’s mind raced through the possibilities. There really weren’t too many hiding spots around here, these alleys were mostly just empty and narrow passageways.

If they could make it to the river though – Jimin groaned inwardly. His place would be safe enough, but taking a stranger there? Not even the people he actually trusted enough to deal with on a regular basis had ever been to his place. 

Still, the river was definitely safer than the back alleys they were darting through now. Jimin knew people down there. If they were lucky enough to run into the lot, he could ask the kids to run a distraction ploy. 

Behind him, the guy stumbled and barely caught his footing. Jimin tightened his grip on him for the umpteenth time and sighed.

There was no other option. 

‘Just a little bit longer, come on!’, he urged the other as they took a sharp right turn. 

-----

Yoongi couldn’t think straight at all. Whoever it was that had gotten him out of that alley had an iron grip on him and kept dragging him along. He had no idea where he was anymore. All he could hear was the sound of running footsteps behind him and the occasional curse from his attackers. 

He didn’t know if he could trust the stranger, but he also knew that without his help, he would fall right back into those guys’ hands. Just thinking about them made him feel like he would spiral again.

He couldn’t, not now.

Not before he was safe. 

The stranger had turned to him and said something, but Yoongi's mind had been unable to process it. All he registered was that they suddenly moved even faster, weaving in and out of alleys like crazy.

It took all of Yoongi’s strength and concentration to keep up and running instead of collapsing out of panic, exhaustion and fear. He wondered briefly, if the other knew where they were because he had never felt this lost in Seoul ever before.

Just then, they exited another alley, crossed a street - and Yoongi’s heart sank.

They were at the river.

The river. 

A wide open area where their pursuers would be able to see them from what felt like miles away. 

This isn’t safe, his mind screamed, and panic settled over Yoongi. He tried to free his arm from the other’s grip, wanting nothing more than to run back into the alleys and find a place to hide. Anything was better than the river, he thought frantically. But the other held on tight and Yoongi was almost out of strength. 

The stranger looked at him once again.

‘Trust me’, he thought he heard him say, but he couldn’t be sure because his blood was pounding in his ears now and he felt the weight of his panic settling over him.

-----

Jimin felt the other panicking as soon as they reached the open area by the river. Not that he could blame him. To someone like him this definitely must seem like the most unsafe place to be in during a situation like this. He tried to reassure him, but he could tell with one glance that by now he was totally spiraling. The man wouldn’t make it much longer. 

Where the heck was the lot when Jimin actually needed them?

They could spend hours at a time annoying the heck out of him, materializing out of thin air and pestering him when he had better things to do, yet now, when he actually was looking for them, they were nowhere to be seen?

Dragging the other along, he made his way towards the bridge that was the lot's favorite hangout spot. 

A crash made him glance over his shoulder. Their pursuers had made their way out of the alley and judging from their pointing fingers, they had spotted them.

Cursing, Jimin ducked under the bridge, pulling the stranger along hastily before suddenly bumping into something soft and warm. A hand took hold of his arm, steadying him as the stranger crashed into his back and propelled him forward. Someone very quickly shone a flashlight at his face, then the stranger’s before turning it off again.

‘Missing us already, Ji? Didn’t know you enjoyed our company this much’, a voice snickered. 

‘Shut up’, Jimin snapped. ‘ 's not the time for this. I need a favor. ‘ 

‘That have anything to do with those two figures chasing towards the bridge like crazy?’, another voice asked. 

Jimin glanced backwards. They were closing in; he didn’t have time.

‘I need to get him out of here’, he vaguely gestured towards the guy behind him, who seemed close to collapsing by now. ‘He’s not gonna make it much longer. Just get them off my back, I’ll owe you.’ 

The flashlight flicked on again, this time aimed at the stranger. It stayed for a second or two before turning off again. 

‘Consider it a favor paid back from the list we owe you’, Soobin said.

Jimin nodded. ‘Thank you. We’ll be off then before he collapses on me. I’ll look you up tomorrow. Be careful!’, he threw over his shoulder, already making his way towards the other end of the bridge tunnel.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw two figures, one dragging the other behind him just like he was dragging the stranger, leaving the bridge‘s shelter in the direction Jimin had come from, another three figures chasing them. Their pursuers immediately swerved away from the bridge and began to follow them. 

Jimin breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t know how long the lot would be able to keep this ploy up, but it should buy them enough time to be able to make it to his place. 

‘Come on, we’re almost there’, he told the stranger and then took off for one last sprint with him.

-----

Yoongi had frozen stiff when they had entered below the bridge and there had been other people there. He had thought for a moment that they would be attacked, but then he realized the stranger must know them.

They were talking, but he was too exhausted and too focused on not passing out to be able to follow the conversation. He flinched as a flashlight suddenly shone right into his face, screwing his eyes shut at the sudden source of light. It sent another bout of panic through his body.

What did these people want from him? 

Yoongi didn’t have much time to panic though, as they were suddenly moving again, making their way to the other end of the bridge tunnel. 

‘Come on, we’re almost there’, he thought the stranger told him and again Yoongi wasn’t sure he had heard right.

There where, anyway? 

He didn’t get to think much more as they were on the move again. Yoongi really wished this would just stop. He had thought dance training was hard, but it was nothing compared to this. Dance training also didn’t tend to make him panic. At this point he was out of energy, out of hope and out of his mind. 

He made another feeble attempt to free his wrist from the stranger’s grip, only to be grabbed tighter yet again as they ran under another bridge.Yoongi had lost count by now, was it the third one maybe?

This time, though, they didn’t exit at the other end. The stranger suddenly drew him to the right, into a small opening in the wall and began dragging him through a tunnel. It was so dark, Yoongi couldn’t see anything, blindly stumbling along. 

They took a few turns left and right and Yoongi was sure he’d never find his way out of this maze ever again. He noticed then that they weren’t running as fast as before anymore. 

What was going on? Where was he? How was he supposed to get out of here? He didn’t even have his phone anymore; he had no chance of calling for help. Panic bubbled up once more. Yoongi thought he probably would never feel normal ever again. 

Just then, they somehow exited the tunnels. There was the sound of something closing behind them and the stranger led Yoongi up a few steps. 

The place was dark, but not as dark as the tunnels had been. Yoongi could see the faint outline of walls and a covered up window. 

Where was he? Was this a trap? 

Not stopping, the stranger dragged Yoongi along into the middle of the room before finally letting  go of his wrist.Yoongi thought he should be glad about that, but instead his panic began to bubble up even more.

Was the man going to just leave him here, alone in the dark, trapped in this room? He could barely see anything, he had no idea where he was, he had no means to contact anyone. He couldn’t be left here by himself.

Yoongi began to breathe harder, collapsing on the floor, not able to keep his panic at bay any longer.

-----

Jimin had breathed a sigh of relief when they made it to the bridge with the passage to his place.

Well, technically it wasn’t his place. It had been his hyungs‘ place and now Jimin just occupied it. Although he was pretty sure his hyungs had just occupied it as well.

Either way, it was a good place. Hard to find but safe, dry and warm enough. Except maybe in winter, but that’s what Jimin had lots of blankets for. 

Pulling the stranger along, he slipped into the tunnels, easily finding his way in the dark. He had walked this path so many times by now, he didn’t need any light anymore.Not that he would have had any light with him, anyway. Except for an old lighter that wouldn’t stay on long at the pace they were still moving.

The only thing that might have caused a short spark in the dark would have been his firecrackers. But those were no more, sacrificed in an alley to save a stranger for reasons Jimin himself couldn’t even begin to understand. 

He frowned at the thought of his firecrackers being used up. For the longest time now he had been carrying them around with him, his secret treasure and a form of emergency defense mechanism.

Well, they had worked out just like Jimin had imagined they would. But they had been supposed to defend him and not some random stranger. Not to mention the sentimental value they had held for him.

He shook his head. Now was not the time to mourn the loss of his firecrackers. 

Reaching the familiar iron gate, Jimin pulled at the bars to open it, letting himself and the stranger into his place and leading him into his room. He finally relaxed his grip on the other, letting go of his wrist and making his way through the dark room to find his flashlight. He was pretty sure he had left it on the table. 

Frowning, Jimin paused for a second to think. He had just brought a stranger to his place. Nobody had ever been in here except for his hyungs and himself.This was supposed to be a safe place and here he was with a stranger he knew absolutely nothing about.

It wasn’t too late yet, he could just grab the flashlight and go back to the underground pathway with the stranger. Find one of the dead ends further away from the entrance to his place and just take care of him there, keep this place a secret. 

Shaking his head, he reached for the flashlight.

That just wouldn’t do. The guy had been on the verge of panicking ever since Jimin had stepped in to help him back in that alley. If he were to bring him to a dark tunnel, he’d most surely go over the edge completely. 

‘I’m sorry, there’s no electricity here’, he said, turning on his flashlight and pointing it in the direction he had left the stranger at. 

A gasp escaped him.

The stranger was sitting on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest, shaking violently as tears kept running down his face while he desperately tried to breathe. 

‘Shit’, Jimin muttered as he placed the flashlight on the floor, light facing up so that it illuminated the ceiling and with that most of the room. He crouched down in front of the stranger, only now noticing his burning scent. 

Coffee and whiskey. 

An alpha, Jimin thought to himself. 

He had been so busy getting them to safety somehow that he hadn’t noticed the scent before.

Although there was also the possibility that the guy had been wearing scent blockers which had begun to wear off. Either way, Jimin had a panicking alpha on his hands, and he needed to calm him down somehow. 

‘Hey’, he said softly, reaching out to touch the other’s shoulder.

The alpha stiffened at the touch and Jimin cursed himself. That guy had just been assaulted, what was he thinking, touching him without permission or at least a warning?

Jimin withdrew his hand. 

‘Hey’, he said again, ‘it’s ok, I won’t hurt you. You’re safe here, ok?’ 

He wasn’t sure if the man had heard him at all. 

‘Can you look at me?’ he asked and when there was no reaction he tried again, this time very gently putting one finger under the other’s chin, ever so slightly applying some pressure to get across his point. 

‘Please’, he repeated gently, ‘please look at me.’ 

For a moment he thought he wouldn’t get any reaction yet again, but then the alpha slowly lifted his head to look at Jimin. 

Beautiful, was the first thing Jimin’s wolf supplied.

Jimin really wanted to smack himself in the head. This man was deeply scared, crying and lost in a panic attack and the first thing that his wolf had to say after everything they’d just been through was that he was beautiful? What the hell was wrong with him? 

‘Get your shit together, Park Jimin’, he muttered to himself before focusing on the stranger again. 

‘There you go’, he murmured, making sure to keep his voice soft and low. ‘You’re alright, you’re safe here. Nothing is going to happen to you. Nobody can hurt you here. This place is safe.’ 

Jimin kept on repeating the same things over and over again, grounding the stranger, remembering with a pang in his heart the many times his hyungs had done the exact same thing for him. 

‘C-can’t…’, the stranger uttered suddenly and shivered violently. 

‘You can’t what?’, Jimin asked gently, despite knowing the answer already. 

The alpha shuddered again. ‘B-breathe…’, he pressed out.

Just as Jimin had expected. ‘Yes, you can. I know you can. Look at me. I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that for me?’, he soothed. 

The stranger looked doubtful, but managed a small nod. Jimin slowly began to guide him through his own breathing exercises, making the alpha take breaths and hold them before slowly exhaling. 

He had no idea how much time had passed since they had entered his place, but it didn’t matter either. For now, all that counted was to make the man in front of him calm down and assure him that he was safe. 

After what seemed like forever to him, but had probably not been more than twenty minutes, the alpha’s breathing slowly returned back to normal.

Jimin sighed.

He probably hadn’t sighed as much as tonight in ages, he thought wryly. The man in front of him was breathing more steadily now, but he was still shaking like a leave and the tears wouldn’t stop falling from his eyes. 

He had to get the man off the floor, Jimin decided.

‘It’s really ok, you’re alright, I promise’, he addressed him yet again. ‘Would you mind telling me your name?’

Calling him by his name, Jimin thought, might help the man calm down a bit more. It was something familiar to hold onto, something more to ground him, after all. 

The stranger just looked at him, dark brown eyes pooling with fresh tears. Jimin smiled, a soft smile, and looked into the stranger’s eyes, trying to show him that he didn’t mean any harm. 

A sigh escaped the alpha’s lips.

‘Yoo- Yoongi’, he pressed out between hiccups. 

Pretty name, Jimin’s not so helpful wolf supplied.

Jimin desperately wished he could kick thoughts like this out of his brain. He really didn’t need this right now. 

‘Yoongi’, he repeated, still smiling at the stranger. ‘You are ok, Yoongi. Those two men can’t find you here, I swear. And I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to help you. Ok?’

The alpha looked at him and for the first time it seemed like he actually could see Jimin. He kept staring for a long time while Jimin just continued to smile at him, making sure to keep eye contact. 

Something shifted in the alpha’s eyes as his shoulders began to relax slightly.

‘Ok’, he repeated and let out an exhausted sigh.

Sensing that the other was trying to say something more, Jimin kept looking at him encouragingly.

‘Please… Mates… Need to go home…’, the man finally choked out and for the first time, Jimin noticed the mating mark on his neck. 

Shit, he thought to himself. His mates must be scared out of their minds right now with all the panic most likely flooding their bond.

Jimin looked at Yoongi.

There was no way this guy would manage to walk far in his current condition, he might not even make it back out through the underground path before collapsing. 

Jimin sighed, remembering dimly that he had seen something like a smashed phone back in the alley, too. Probably Yoongi’s, he thought. And Jimin didn’t own a phone. There was also no way he could leave the man alone to find help when he was in this condition, either. Besides, who would he even ask to do what? Nobody he knew had a phone at hand. He didn’t like it one bit, but Yoongi’s mates would have to wait until Yoongi was stable enough to go home.

Jimin feared Yoongi wouldn’t like this much either.

‘Yoongi’, he began softly, ‘do you have your phone?’ and he wasn’t surprised at all when Yoongi shook his head tearfully. ‘I’m so sorry, Yoongi. I don’t own a phone, so we can’t call your mates right now.’ 

Yoongi’s eyes widened at that. ‘Go h-home…’, he said and tried to get up, only to have his legs fail him. 

‘Yoongi, please listen’, Jimin pleaded. ‘You just had a massive panic attack, and you are in shock after what has happened. Your body is exhausted and so is your mind. I know you want to go home and be with your mates, but right now you are in no condition to do so. Even if I help you and we go out, it’s still night out there, it can still be dangerous.’ 

Yoongi had visibly deflated while Jimin was speaking. He looked so lost, Jimin thought. He wished desperately he could bring him to his mates right now, but it just wasn’t an option.

‘I’m really, really sorry, Yoongi. You need to stay here and rest up a little first. Calm down and gather a bit of strength. Do you think you can do that?’ 

Another wave of tears was falling from Yoongi’s eyes. He didn’t have a choice either way, he would never make it home alone in this condition and it was scary outside and logically he knew the other was right, but still…

All he had wanted was to go home tonight…  

‘Can you feel your mates through your bond?’, the stranger asked gently.

Yoongi’s eyes widened. He had been so lost in his panic attack that he hadn’t paid much attention to his bond. His mates must have felt his panic, they must be so scared.

Tentatively he reached out for their bond in his mind, tapping into the emotions and gasping as fear, distraught and worry hit him like an onslaught.

They were worrying about him; they had probably tried and failed to reach him and he couldn’t do anything to let them know he was safe. 

‘Worried’, he choked out.

The stranger's voice sounded again. ‘Use your bond, Yoongi.'

Yoongi cast the man a questioning look, not sure what he was trying to tell him.

‘Your mates can feel your emotions, too, Yoongi. You know that don’t you? Calm them via your bond. They will feel better once they know you aren’t panicking anymore and calming down. Try to reach out to them, hm?’ 

And Yoongi did. He thought of his pack, of how much he loved them and how much they loved him, he conjured up all the happy moments they had had together until now and sent a wave of calming emotions over their bond. 

The response was almost instant. He felt the fear ebb away slowly as an even bigger wave of calmness came right back to him. Relieve flooded Yoongi and he let it flow into the bond as well.

He was safe, he had to make sure they knew that.

Another wave of emotions flooded him as the pack reached out to him, showering him with love. Any other time Yoongi would have scoffed at this, but right now it was exactly what he needed. 

Feeling himself finally relaxing, he looked up at the stranger again.

Pretty, his wolf chimed in. 

His eyes widened. Where had that come from? Was that all his wolf had to say after everything that had just happened?

It must have been because of his tired mind, he decided. 

‘Thank you’, he said, looking into the stranger's eyes. He didn't know why, but he was somehow sure that he could trust this man. 

‘It was nothing’, the man said with a small smile.

Yoongi had to silently disagree. Who knew what would have happened to him if this man hadn’t decided to help him. He shuddered at the thought and the other seemed to notice. 

‘You need to rest, Yoongi’, he said, voice still so gentle. Yoongi thought he hadn’t ever heard a voice that soft before. It was soothing, he realized. 

‘Would you like to lie down a bit? You must be really tired’, the man inquired.

Yoongi nodded and the other helped him get up and move to a mattress in one corner of the room. There was no scent on the sheets, Yoongi noticed as he sank onto it with a deep, exhausted sigh. 

He had realized before that the other didn’t seem to have any scent, but he couldn’t rule out scent blockers. Yoongi himself used them most of the time when he was out and about, not wanting for others to be able to pick up on his sub gender or mood just by his scent. His pack did the same. Most people did nowadays, really.

Scent was something for people you trusted, mostly. But no scent on the bed sheets? That was quite telling. Only betas could actually be completely scentless.

Not that they had to be, Yoongi amended, thinking of his pack. Seokjin, Hoseok and Taehyung all had their own scents, albeit much more subtle than any alpha scents.

The stranger must be a beta, he thought as he tried to get comfortable on the mattress.

-----

Jimin was relieved to finally be able to tug Yoongi in. He really needed the rest and so did Jimin, if he was to be honest. This night had gone completely different from what he had planned.

Grabbing a blanket, he went over to Yoongi, who was already half asleep by now and went to cover him with it. 

Yoongi opened his eyes again. ‘Your name?’, he asked, voice sounding a bit hoarse from all the crying.

‘Jimin’, Jimin answered and then his eyes grew wide.

What the heck?

Why had he said that? The only ones he had ever told his name were his hyungs. Not even the lot knew his real name, so why the heck did he tell this literal stranger? 

Before he could ponder that any further, Yoongi mumbled ‘Beta?’

He smiled as he answered: ‘Yes, beta’. 

Thank fuck for that, Jimin thought to himself.

‘Thank you, Jimin’, Yoongi mumbled tiredly.

Jimin smiled again. ‘It’s alright, Yoongi. Sleep now, ok? When you wake up, I will help you get home to your mates, I promise.’ 

He turned to leave when Yoongi’s hand found his wrist. ‘Please stay’, he mumbled, ‘I don’t want to be alone’.

With a sigh, Jimin thought to himself, why not? He was tired, too, after all. 

Lying down on the mattress, he felt the alpha shift and move a bit closer, tentatively touching his arm. Jimin turned his head to look at him. Yoongi still looked so shaken.

Jimin sighed. ‘Would it help if I hugged you?’, he asked.

When the other nodded mutely, Jimin turned around to open his arms for him, not willing to make the first move after what the other just had been through.

Yoongi didn’t hesitate though, snuggling into the embrace and heaving another deep sigh. Jimin could feel the last bit of tension leave Yoongi’s body as he finally fell asleep. 

Inhaling the alpha's coffee and whiskey scent, he allowed himself to drift off as well.

Chapter Text

The world was tilting on its axis. 

Spinning, spinning, spinning. 

Fear. 

Moving.

Up. Down. Left. Right. 

Round and round and round. 

Chaos. Blurriness. Darkness. 

Panic.

Taehyung woke up with a gasp. 

A dream, he thought to himself, trying to calm down so as not to wake up Seokjin and Hoseok. 

It was their monthly exclusive beta night, as they liked to call it. Being in a pack with three alphas and three betas was nice, but really, alphas could be a little bit overwhelming at times with their powerful scents and strong protective streak. Especially when they had no omega to take care of and fuss over, Taehyung thought bemused. So every once in a while the betas liked to have their own little getaway, fooling around, gossiping and of course, cuddling. 

Their alphas didn’t seem to mind, simply countering the betas' getaway by having their own alpha night together which more often than not seemed to include a drink or two and very non-alpha-like cuddling. 

Taehyung smiled at the thought. It wasn’t common for the alphas in a pack to get along so well and to be that affectionate with each other. Then again, it also wasn’t common to have a pack formed with only alphas and betas. They had never been ones to conform with stereotypes and prejudices though, Taehyung thought with a smirk. 

Just then a fresh wave of fear and panic washed over him and filled him with dread. This wasn’t a dream. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He felt Jin startle awake next to him and reached over to turn on a light. Their eyes met worriedly. 

‘Hyung’, Taehyung whispered urgently, ‘what’s happening?’ 

Another bout of panic rolled over him, quickly followed by worry and confusion and he reached for Seokjin’s arm. They looked at each other, unable to form any words as the strong emotions kept washing over their bond. 

Someone gasped for air next to them. They turned around to look at Hoseok, sitting upright, eyes blown wide and white as a sheet. 

‘Alpha…’, he choked out.

Jin felt his blood run cold. Was one of their alphas in trouble? Hoseok had always been the one most tuned in with the alphas’ emotions when it came to their little beta group, no wonder he seemed to have caught on so fast.

Reaching for their bond, Jin tried to feel out who exactly was sending which emotions. It wasn’t easy to sort the varying signals and determine who was who, especially with Tae and Hobi flooding the bond with their own worries now. There was a sudden spike in panic and realization hit Jin. 

‘Yoongi’, he breathed, and Taehyung gasped. 

Something was wrong with Yoongi. 

Jumping out of bed, Jin turned to Tae and Hobi, urging them to come along, making their way out of his bedroom and over to Namjoon’s. They had a pack room, of course, but on their exclusive nights they would just end up in one of the members’ rooms, neither group willing to spend the night in the pack bed when half of the pack was missing. 

Contrary to the betas, who liked to switch up their room every month, it wasn’t hard to guess which bedroom the alphas would be using. Jungkook’s room usually just was an utter mess that Namjoon and Yoongi flat out refused to spend the night in and Yoongi’s room had to stay empty in case the alpha felt the sudden need to withdraw and be by himself. 

Light shimmered from under Namjoon’s bedroom door. Jin didn’t bother knocking and all but burst into the room. 

‘Yoongi-yah, what’s wro- ‘, he trailed off, staring wide eyed at Namjoon, who was holding Jungkook in his arms, the youngest alpha trembling and clutching onto the pack leader as though his life depended on him.

Yoongi was nowhere to be seen. 

‘Where is he?’, Seokjin whispered. 

Namjoon shook his head, releasing calming pheromones as good as he could, secretly wishing he had someone to soothe him as well. Hoseok and Taehyung, who had been hot on Jin’s heels, took a moment to grasp the situation. 

‘He-, he isn’t here?’, Taehyung asked with a shaky voice.

Again, Namjoon shook his head and Jungkook let out a suppressed sob. 

‘He said he might stay at the studio tonight, something about a song he urgently wanted to finish. You know how he is when it comes to his music’, Namjoon said. 

The others nodded. Of course they knew. Music was Yoongi’s safe place; they all knew and accepted that. It was his way of getting away when everything became too much or when he felt overwhelmed, and even more importantly, it was his way to express himself. 

‘We woke up from fear flooding the bond and when we realized it was Yoongi, I immediately checked his room, but he wasn't there. I then tried to call him. He didn’t pick up his studio line, so I asked for someone from security to check on him for us. He isn’t in there, either. And his smartphone can’t be reached’, Namjoon summarized for them. 

The betas froze at that. Yoongi's phone being unreachable sent red flags up for everyone. 

This was serious.

-----

It was no secret that the whole pack was quite protective when it came to their eldest alpha. 

Back when they had started out as trainees, Yoongi was the last person they learnt anything personal about. With everyone telling stories of their families and childhood, they hadn’t realized at first that he rarely shared anything with them. It wasn’t until after their debut that they noticed they basically knew nothing about him. 

Coming home one night after eating out, thinking Yoongi was still in his studio as usual, they had found him sitting in the dark at their kitchen table instead, silent tears running down his face. To say they had been stunned would have been an understatement. Never once had any of them seen Yoongi show any kind of weakness before. 

Seokjin had immediately gone to hug him, but Yoongi had stiffened and withdrawn, shaking his head pleadingly.

Unsure what to do they had settled for their presence, trying to soothe him with words, which hadn’t been an easy task at all considering none of them knew what had caused his tears.

Slowly, Yoongi had calmed down and stopped crying and for what felt like the longest time all of them just sat in silence. 

They hadn’t known what to say, hadn’t dared to ask what was wrong. Seeing him cry like that had made them realize that they didn’t really know him outside of their work relationship. Not that they didn’t consider him a part of their group or a friend, on the contrary. To all of them he was very important. It was just – he was Yoongi, they were used to him being distanced and they respected that he kept more to himself. Still though… how had none of them noticed sooner that they hadn’t really gotten to know him yet? They couldn't help but wonder about that.

‘I’m sorry’, Yoongi had whispered, and they had stared at him. Why was he apologizing? As far as they knew, there was nothing to apologize for. 

‘For what?’, Seokjin asked, figuring that as the eldest and Yoongi’s only hyung in their group he couldn’t just ignore this. 

A sigh escaped Yoongi as he averted his eyes.

‘Being weak’, he answered.

It had stunned all of them.

Did Yoongi think they considered him weak for crying? Why? They all cried from time to time, be it from being stressed or because they missed their families or from not feeling well or simply because they were having a bad day. 

Exhaustion and emotions were building up fast with the stressful schedules and little free time they had and when everything felt like it was becoming too much, crying it all out was one way to deal with it for them. They had all helped each other through such phases before, offering hugs and words of assurance and cuddles if needed. 

They had all helped each other - except for Yoongi, they now realized. Yoongi had never broken down before, had never shown any sign of emotional distraught or being overwhelmed. At least not in front of them.

Seokjin felt like somehow they might have failed Yoongi. 

‘Yoongi-yah’, he said slowly, ‘there is nothing wrong with crying. We all cry from time to time, that’s normal. It doesn’t make you weak and none of us would ever judge you for it’, he concluded. 

Yoongi had just looked at him. ‘It’s different for you, obviously’, he stated and at the groups’ blank looks he mumbled ‘I’m an alpha. Alphas don’t cry.’ 

The group at the table had stilled at that. Yoongi believed alphas weren’t allowed to cry? 

‘Why, hyung?’, Namjoon had asked. 

‘Because alphas can’t show weakness’, Yoongi replied. 

Stunned silence had followed. Did Yoongi really believe that just because of his sub gender he wasn’t allowed to be emotional? Sure, traditionally speaking that was the way alphas had been seen by society, stoic and unreachable. But that was a long time ago and wolves had evolved since then. Every wolf was considered different nowadays, each with their own needs and wants. Alphas showing emotions was not a foreign concept at all. Did Yoongi not know that? 

Before Seokjin could consider how to approach this topic, Jungkook blurted out: ‘That’s bullshit, hyung. Why shouldn’t you be allowed to cry? It has nothing to do with sub gender. Why do you believe in such outdated views?’ 

Jin had wanted to reprimand Jungkook for this but stopped when he saw Yoongi’s lower lip trembling suspiciously. 

‘Yoongi-yah’, he said softly, ‘Jungkookie isn’t wrong you know? Maybe sixty, seventy years ago alphas might have been looked down on for showing emotions. Just as omegas would have been looked down on for being independent and striving for a career. Just like betas would have been considered as half-wolves because of their less developed scents. But that’s not how things are today anymore. You don’t have to be afraid to show your emotions. Would you mind telling us what makes you think you have to be strong like this?’ 

Yoongi looked like he was contemplating, and Jin couldn’t blame him. They really didn’t know him, and Jin was beginning to realize now that Yoongi probably had closed himself off on purpose in order to fit his archaic alpha image. It wouldn’t surprise him if Yoongi decided not to tell them anything, but then he heard him take a deep breath. 

‘That’s how I was raised’, Yoongi said so quietly that they almost missed it. 

And then he began to tell them. 

Yoongi had told them how contrary to them, he had been born into a pack, one of the oldest and most traditional ones of Daegu at that. How he had always been affectionate as a child, hugging his family members and friends all the time, seeking out their comforting cuddles. How he had never been one to hide his tears, letting his emotions run free. How everyone had thought that he would be an omega. And about how, once it had become apparent that he would be an alpha, his parents had turned strict on him, telling him to stop crying, stop smiling, stop being emotional. They had stopped hugging and cuddling him and worst of all, stopped scenting him, telling him again and again that alphas had to be strong and indifferent and that emotions only got into their way. 

Yoongi had slipped up many times, earning himself countless scoldings and punishments. At some point his parents had reached out to their pack alpha for help and from then on, Yoongi had not only been scolded by his parents but also received beatings from his pack alpha to make him learn how to control his emotions. 

The other young alphas in the pack didn’t seem to struggle with their emotions at all and tended to look down on Yoongi. Gradually he had begun to close himself off more and more, not showing what he was feeling anymore even though he still desperately longed for affection. 

It had almost broken him but then he had discovered music as his outlet. He began writing lyrics in secret, pouring the emotions he wasn’t allowed to show into them, relieved to finally have a way to express himself. He began going to underground rap battles, at first as a spectator but soon enough he joined in as well. It didn’t take long for him to become quite well-known in the scene not only because of his fast rapping skills but also because of how emotional his lyrics and performances were. For the first time in years, Yoongi had felt somewhat at peace with himself. 

Until it had all come crashing down on him. 

He had never thought that someone else from his pack would actually go to watch underground rap battles, but someone must have done exactly that. He had been seen and he had been ratted out to both his parents and his pack leader. They had forced him to hand over his lyrics, tearing down his room when he refused until they had found the little notebook that he used to hide under a floorboard. The pack leader had taken him outside and made him set it on fire. Yoongi had felt like he was suffocating watching his lyrics being turned into ashes. 

Once there was nothing left of the notebook, the pack leader had given him a cold look and told him that since he was apparently a helpless case and needed an outlet for his emotions anyway, he would arrange for him to mate under the next full moon. That way he could pour his useless emotions on his mate in secret and wouldn’t disgrace his pack any further. Yoongi’s parents had looked pleased with that decision. 

It had been the last straw for Yoongi. He had broken, sinking to his knees, crying and begging them to reconsider, telling them he wasn’t ready to be mated, that he was too young for that, that he didn't want to mate someone he didn't love. It had earned him the hardest beating of his life, not only by the pack leader but also by his father. For the first time ever, his father had physically laid hands on him and Yoongi felt his world fall apart. 

The next morning, the pack leader appeared at their doorstep and handed him a train ticket to Seoul and an envelope with some money. He had told him to leave and never return because there was no place in his pack for a broken alpha like him and that as a disgrace he could not stay in Daegu and bring further shame upon the pack. One look at the stone-cold expressions of his parents had told him that they weren’t going to speak up for him. His heart shattered as he realized that his pack was expelling him. He had failed them. 

Unable to feel anything anymore, Yoongi had packed a bag with his most precious belongings and made his way to Seoul, not a single pack member saying goodbye to him. 

Having lost everything because of his inability to keep his emotions at bay, he had sworn to himself to never let that happen again and to finally learn how to control himself.

When Yoongi finished his story, there was silence. Looking around the table, Seokjin saw silent tears rolling down the other members’ faces. How had none of them noticed before how much Yoongi was suffering? He must have finally succeeded in closing himself off, he thought bitterly. 

Nobody said anything but something had to be said, if only to reassure Yoongi that it had been right to trust them with his story. While Seokjin pondered what to say, Namjoon beat him to it. 

‘Hyung’, he started, ‘you didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that. Our sub gender doesn’t determine our feelings, and nobody should be forced to close themselves off like that. What your pack leader and your parents did to you, I’m really sorry hyung, but that was messed up, and I am so mad at them right now. You aren’t weak at all; you are one of the strongest people I know to have made it through that and become the amazing person you are. Please don’t ever feel like you have to hide anything from us, because you really don’t.’ 

Yoongi had said nothing. 

‘Yoongi-hyung’, Hoseok spoke up, ‘please don’t hide from us. I know it won’t be easy and you probably need a lot of time but please, don’t torture yourself like that anymore. You can always talk to us. Or we can sit with you in silence, if that’s what you prefer. Just know that we are here for you, ok?’ 

Yoongi nodded but didn’t look at them. 

‘Hyung’, Taehyung said, and he sounded just a little bit nervous, ‘you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but… Why were you crying when we came home?’ 

A valid question, Jin thought. If Yoongi had pulled himself together until now, what had made him break character suddenly? 

Yoongi seemed to hesitate. 

‘You don’t have to tell us’, Tae reassured. 

But Yoongi shook his head. ‘It’s been five years today since I left Daegu. I just didn’t want to be alone tonight, so I thought I’d come home early but then nobody was here and- ‘, he choked. 

He didn’t need to finish it, they understood. Yoongi had broken because it had all become too much to bear on his own. Silent tears were rolling down his cheeks again and Seokjin decided to take the risk. 

‘Would you like a hug now, Yoongi-yah?’ he asked and relief flooded him when Yoongi nodded shyly. He tentatively found his way into Jin’s arms, grabbing at his shirt, crying silently. Only when his tears had finally stopped did he begin to fidget in the hold. 

‘Enough’, he had whispered hoarsely, and Seokjin had smiled and let him go. 

‘You should have called us, hyung’, Namjoon said. ‘We would have come home, you know?’ 

‘I couldn’t’, Yoongi whispered, ‘I didn’t want to impose on you. You went out to have fun after all.’ 

Namjoon sighed. 'You'd never impose on us. Actually, we tried to invite you, hyung, but you were nowhere to be found and your phone was turned off. You know we don’t usually go out without inviting you as well, right?’ 

And that was true. They might not have been as close to Yoongi as they were to each other, but they did consider him a friend and would have loved for him to be around more often, so they always tried to make him come along even though they knew he would most likely refuse most of the time. 

‘I went to the park earlier and had it turned off. I needed time to think and didn't want to be interuppted', Yoongi said quietly and startled when there was a huff from his right. 

‘Yoongi-hyung!’, Tae had wailed dramatically, peering up at him from where he was sitting. ‘As if you could ever impose on us! Get that out of your head right now. We’re friends, aren’t we? And friends are there for each other, no matter what. So next time you feel lonely or need someone to talk to or just want to sit in silence with someone or I don’t know, whatever you need, call us, ok? And don’t you dare turn off your phone on us because I know you will be tempted to do so but if you don’t want to be disturbed just tell us and we’ll leave you alone. But leave your phone on for us and we will leave ours on for you, so you can reach us anytime, too.’ 

He had looked at Yoongi expectantly and they all startled when a small smile made its way onto Yoongi’s face. ‘Ok’, he relented but that wasn’t enough for Taehyung. 

‘No, hyung! You have to promise us!’, he exclaimed. 'In return, we will promise to always be there for you, too. You can call or text us at any time, we promise, we will answer you. No matter how trivial the matter may seem, even if you only need us to say good night or hello. You won't ever be alone again, Yoongi-hyung.' The others had nodded at that, repeating Taehyung's promise and asking Yoongi to promise them, too. 

And Yoongi had promised.

-----

And that was just it.

Yoongi had promised them. 

He had promised them, and he took his promise very seriously, never leaving the house without his phone fully charged, even carrying an external charger with him in case his battery ran low. Never once had they called him and not been able to reach him since that evening. 

And now his phone was not to be reached. Had something happened? Fear rippled through their bond as the betas realized that Yoongi’s panic might be caused by something way out of their control. Where was he? What was going on? 

‘What do we do now?’, Taehyung whispered and Jungkook let out a choked sob.

They all stared at each other. 

What could they even do? Namjoon wondered silently. Even if he did call the company, they had no evidence that anything had happened except for the panic in their bond and a turned off phone. He could already see how their arguments would not hold enough weight for officials to look for Yoongi. He hasn’t even been missing for long, they knew for sure he had still been in his studio when they went home around 8 p.m. the night before. 

If he were to voice their concerns to anyone outside the pack, they would most likely think they were overreacting. It had only been a few hours, Yoongi could have turned off his phone for whatever reason even though he promised not to, he could have run out of battery, he could have gone out to a bar or whatever. None of it would be taken seriously at this point. The only other thing they had to offer was Yoongi’s panic flooding the bond and everyone knew that bond emotions were easily dismissed as evidence since they couldn’t be proven. 

They could go out and look for Yoongi, but where would they even start? Seoul was large after all, and they had no idea where Yoongi might be right now. 

‘I don’t think there’s anything we can do right now’, he reluctantly admitted and when Hoseok wailed in protest, he explained his reasoning to them. The air in the room was suffocating by now, the alphas’ scents burning and mixing with the fainter but not any less distraught scents of the three betas.  

‘Let’s go to the pack room’, Seokjin whispered. When nobody made a move he sighed, gently grabbing both Tae and Hobi and steering them out of the room. Throwing a look over his shoulder he motioned to Namjoon with his head to follow them. 

It took Namjoon a moment to detach himself from Jungkook, the youngest alpha still being very clingy but at least he had stopped crying by now. 

‘Come on, Kook-ah, let’s join the others’, he said before moving them both out of his room.

-----

In the pack room, Jin had opened a window as a means to air out the packs’ collective burning scents, knowing none of them would be able to tone it down anytime soon. 

Although neither alphas nor betas usually nested, Hobi and Tae had immediately begun to sort of build a nest, using a lot of items that carried Yoongi’s scent. 

Maybe they all needed this, Hoseok thought. Maybe if they surrounded themselves with Yoongi’s scent they would be able to calm down, even if just a little bit. 

Taehyung was moving frantically, tugging pieces of Yoongi’s scented clothes under blankets and between pillows and wherever he could find any space. He had never built a nest before so he wasn’t sure what he was doing and he was pretty sure it was the same for Hobi. But it’s the thought that counts, he decided. They all needed to calm down for now. He wasn’t sure whether Yoongi in his panic would be able to even recognize their emotions through the bond but if he did, their own worry and panic would probably only make things worse for him. They needed to calm down and maybe, just maybe, a nest with Yoongi’s scent might help.

Namjoon, Jin and Jungkook watched in silence as the two betas finished building the nest. When they finally deemed it good enough, Taehyung flipped on his back, drawing Hobi down next to him and reached an arm out for the three still not in the nest. 

They didn’t need another invitation, scrambling in; Jungkook melting into Taehyung's free side, burying his nose in the other’s neck. Jin moved to cuddle up next to Jungkook and Namjoon pulled Hobi into a tight embrace. They were silent as they let the comfort of the nest and of Yoongi’s scent wash over them, trying not to tap into the panic that they still could feel ebbing in and out of the bond in intervals. 

‘Hyungs’, Jungkook finally said. ‘Everything will be ok, right?’ 

There was a short moment of silence before Hoseok sighed. ‘I really want to believe that. I do. It’s just hard without knowing what is actually going on.’ 

More silence followed. 

Namjoon desperately wanted to assure his pack that nothing would happen to Yoongi but how could he do that without knowing where he was or why he was panicking? There was no way he would lie to his pack about something so crucial.

‘I don’t know, Jungkookie. I don’t know why Yoongi is panicking and I don’t know where he is right now or why we can’t reach his phone. Hyung isn’t weak though, you know what he went through before. Whatever it is that is happening with him right now, I’m sure that he will fight with all he has to get back home to us. All we can do right now is trust in him.’ 

Silence engulfed them once again, all of them feeling drained from the waves of panic constantly washing over them and the worry about Yoongi. 

Seokjin snuck a glance at the alarm clock. Almost 3.30 a.m. and sleep was definitely out of question for now. 

‘Namjoon-ah, I think you will have to call management in the morning and see if they can clear our schedule. It’s mostly training anyway but even if Yoongi returns home soon, I doubt any of us will be up to that tomorrow. Not after tonight.’ 

Namjoon nodded. ‘I will see what I can do. We can schedule extra training on another day instead, I think they wouldn’t argue with that’, he paused for a moment before he added: ‘If Yoongi-hyung isn’t back in five hours, I will inform management about what happened tonight. It’s still possible that he just had a panic attack somewhere on his way home, although that does not explain his phone. But if that’s the case, he should be back by then. If he isn’t, we have to alert the company anyway and let them take it from there. I really hope it doesn’t come to that, though.’ 

The others silently agreed. 

‘What if- ‘, Hoseok started and then he gasped. 

An extreme wave of panic came over the bond, stronger than any of the others before. They all froze, trying hard not to be consumed by it as well and waiting for it to ebb away again like before.

Only it didn’t. Instead, it seemed to become even more intense, making both Taehyung and Jungkook whimper as they clutched at each other. 

‘What is happening?’, Jin gasped, grabbing Jungkook and holding him tight. 

‘I don’t know but this doesn’t seem like before, it’s somehow stronger?’, Namjoon mused, trying to compose himself. He tried to conceal his fear and distraught as best as he could and sent a calming wave of emotions over their bond. 

Immediately, the fear and distraught of Jungkook and the betas toned down a bit, but not Yoongi’s panic. He tried again, feeling when his mates caught on and tried to do the same. It was to no avail though, he realized dejectedly. While they had been able to calm each other down a little bit, Yooni’s panic was still strong and continued building up. 

‘He’s probably way too deep into his panic attack to even notice the bond right now’, Jin murmured. 

‘But we have to do something, we have to keep trying!’, Jungkook exclaimed, sending another wave into the bond, but this time it was laced with his own desperation and fear. 

‘Jungkookie, stop. All of you. Let’s stop for now. We can’t reach him right now and if we send anything else but real calm we could only make it worse for him when something finally does get through’, Jin ordered. 

‘But- ‘, Taehyung started but was immediately cut off by Namjoon. ‘Hyung’s right, Tae. If we continue, we will only risk agitating Yoongi-hyung more and we all don’t want that, right?’ 

They looked at each other and one by one nodded, albeit reluctantly. 

‘For now, let’s try to stay as calm as we can and wait until the panic lessens some’, Hoseok said.

It seemed like forever. Jungkook was sure they must have been waiting hours but when he looked at the alarm clock, only twenty minutes had passed. He almost snorted at that. Only twenty minutes, yes. But twenty minutes of the strongest panic he had ever felt in his whole life. He was worried sick at this point. Why was Yoongi-hyung panicking so badly? What was going on? 

They had been lying in silence, holding each other and trying to keep calm but their bond was still flooded with worry, fear and distraught. None of them was able to keep their emotions in check right now. 

And then, ever so slightly, the panic seemed to lessen. Jungkook gasped. Was he imagining this? No, he probably hadn’t because the others began to stir slightly as well. 

‘Is it ending?’, Taehyung asked weakly. 

‘I don’t know’, Namjoon answered. They all concentrated on their bond. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, the panic seemed to ebb away, making room for fear and confusion. Immediately, they all began to send calming emotions over the bond again, reaching out to Yoongi as best as they could but there was no reaction. 

‘Why isn’t he reacting at all? He should be able to feel us now that the panic is gone’, Hoseok worried. 

‘He’s scared’, Jin noticed, ‘why is he so scared?’

Worry replaced the relief they had felt when the panic had ebbed away. If Yoongi was scared, did that mean he was in trouble? Was there anything they could do? How were they supposed to help him, when he didn’t even respond to their attempts to reach out to him over their bond?

As the minutes ticked by, they kept growing more and more anxious, waiting for something, anything really, from Yoongi’s side. Fear, worry and confusion rippled through their bond and this time it wasn’t Yoongi, they realized. 

It was them. 

Just why didn’t he reach out to them? 

And then, suddenly, a huge wave of calm hit them. 

‘Hyungs’, Jungkook gasped, relief evident in his voice. They looked at each other before channeling all their energy into sending Yoongi reassurance. Relief filtered back to them and they could feel Yoongi beginning to calm down. They didn’t need to communicate at all, being totally in tune when they filled the bond with their love for him, doing whatever they could to reassure him that everything would be alright. 

Letting out a choked sob, Taehyung held on tighter to Jungkook, the others huddling closer as well as they all waited. Was this just the calm before another storm? But instead of another wave of panic, a deep and reassuring calmness slowly settled into their bond, allowing them to finally, finally relax a bit. 

Whatever had happened, Yoongi was going to be ok.

Chapter Text

Jimin woke up feeling warm. He couldn’t remember the last time he had woken up feeling this content. 

A smile formed on his lips. His hyungs’ hugs were just the most comforting thing ever, he thought hazily, nuzzling deeper into the arms that were holding him. It had been so long since one of them last held him close, he was going to savor every moment of this. 

Drifting back to sleep, a faint scent of coffee laced with whiskey made its way over to him. Jimin frowned slightly. That wasn’t a scent he was familiar with. Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung had nature related scents, didn’t they? His frown deepened as he tried to remember, mind still mostly asleep. 

Shouldn’t he know his hyungs’ scents by heart? Why couldn’t he remember? 

Remember. 

Remember what? 

Comfort. Something resembling being content, maybe even happiness? 

Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung. 

Campfire and seawater. 

So different, yet so similar. 

Junseo-hyung, so strong but yet so gentle. 

Hajun-hyung, so gentle but yet so strong. 

They take such good care of Jimin, making sure he always has enough to eat, talking him through his panic attacks, holding him during the night so he can sleep more peacefully. His hyungs are the absolute best. 

His hyung are- 

Jimin jerked awake. 

No. 

He drew in a shaky breath. How had he gotten so lost in his head, he thought, fighting back tears. This wasn’t Junseo-hyung or Hajun-hyung. This wasn’t either of their scents. He turned to look at the person embracing him. Slowly, the events of last night came back to him. A stranger trapped in an alley, his firecrackers, a wild chase through downtown alleys, Soobin’s lot, a panic attack. 

Not Junseo-hyung or Hajun-hyung but Yoongi, he thought with a pang in his heart. 

He carefully freed himself from Yoongi’s arms, slowly sitting up and backing away a little from the man. His mind was all over the place and he needed to calm himself down. What a stupid mistake, he scolded himself. Of course it wasn’t his hyungs. A lone tear rolled down his cheek and he wiped it away angrily. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten involved last night; it was bound to bring trouble. Why couldn’t he just have left it alone? 

Next to him, Yoongi shifted in his sleep, his scent now peaceful and relaxed. Jimin sighed. At least Yoongi was safe, so something good had come out of this. 

He got up, knowing he wouldn’t get any more sleep now anyway. Going through his morning routine, he used some of the water he had brought in yesterday to wash his face and neck and applied some lotion. The rest would have to wait until later, he mused. 

He made his way over to the boarded-up window and peered through a crack. It was already beginning to dawn. 

Jimin contemplated what to do once Yoongi woke up. He really hadn’t wanted to bring him here, but he had had no other choice. How was he even going to explain this place to Yoongi, he mused. He didn’t even fully understand it himself; he only knew what his hyungs had told him. 

Apparently, they had found this room by chance when they had been exploring the abandoned sewers below. From what Junseo-hyung had shared with Jimin, the two of them had been hoping to find something, anything valuable in those catacombs and when they noticed after several visits that they kept going in circles, they had begun to map the place out a bit in order to be more efficient. Eventually they had stumbled across a locked iron gate. Not that that had stopped them, Hajun-hyung was really good with locks. Behind the gate had been nothing but a small staircase. Walking up, they had discovered this room, very dusty and empty except for some junk in one corner, the only window boarded up from the inside. There was another door on the wall to the left, but when they had opened it, they had been faced with a stone wall. 

Wanting to know more about the room, they had tracked down its location above ground. It was a restaurant, a quite fancy one at that, frontside overlooking the river. The backside faced a very narrow alley. They had found the boarded-up window close to the ground and had figured that it must be an abandoned basement room. Whoever had decided to turn the building into a restaurant probably had wanted to cut off the entryway from the old sewers. 

Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung had decided to move in, anything was better than their cardboard home a few meters further down the river after all. They had moved their few belongings in and overtime even had managed to acquire some old furniture, too. In silent agreement they never told anyone about the place, knowing very well that if people knew about it, they might try to take it away from them. When they had taken Jimin in, they had made him promise to never let anybody else know about this place. And Jimin had gladly promised that, keeping his promise over the years. 

Until last night that is. 

‘I’m really sorry, hyungs. I didn’t know what else to do’, he mumbled. He decided that if Yoongi were to ask any questions, he could admit to it being an abandoned underground basement room and just be vague about the actual location. Luckily, the path through the tunnels below took quite a few turns, so he would just have to make sure they moved fast when going back out and Yoongi shouldn’t be able to find his way back to the hidden room that easily. 

Still feeling guilty about having broken his promise, he peered through the crack again. It was definitely bright enough out now; he was guessing maybe somewhere between 6 and 7 a.m. – Jimin had become pretty good at estimating the time over the years, something he was quite proud of. 

He looked over to Yoongi, who was still fast asleep. If he waited for him to wake up, it would probably be another few hours, considering how exhausted he had been last night. Remembering Yoongi’s mates, Jimin decided that it would be better to wake him up now, so he could get home and reassure them that he was alright. Slowly he made his way over to the mattress again, moving around Yoongi so that he would be in his vision when he woke up. The last thing Jimin wanted was for Yoongi to wake up in an unfamiliar place and have another panic attack, so he was going to have to be careful. 

Putting one hand on Yoongi’s shoulder, he shook him lightly, murmuring small explanations at him about how it was time to wake up and go home. It took a few moments before Yoongi finally began to stir. Putting one hand over his eyes, he let out a small groan and then huskily mumbled ‘Leave me alone, Jin, my alarm has not gone off yet.’ 

Jimin couldn’t suppress a chuckle at that. Apparently, Yoongi didn’t like to be woken up early. 

Hearing Jimin giggle lightly, Yoongi seemed to realize that it wasn’t said Jin (probably one of his mates, Jimin thought) who was trying to wake him up and dropped his hand, slowly opening his eyes. Confusion made its way onto his face and Jimin was quick to address him as softly as he could. 

‘Hey, Yoongi. Do you remember me?’ 

Yoongi blinked, looking at Jimin, then around the room and back at Jimin again. 

‘Jimin?’, he asked hesitatingly. 

‘Yes, that’s me. You are at my place. Do you remember what happened last night?’ 

Yoongi nodded, eyes growing distant as memories came flashing back. 

Jimin took a moment to take in his soft facial features, the cat-like eyes and cute button nose. He noticed how Yoongi’s naturally dark hair contrasted so well with his pale skin. Really beautiful, Jimin’s wolf decided, picking up where they had stopped the night before. And again Jimin told his wolf, now is not the time for that. What was he even doing? Yoongi was practically a stranger to him, and he wouldn’t ever see him again after this. Strangely enough, that thought stirred something in Jimin, but he decided that it was better not to explore it further. Instead, he focused back on Yoongi. 

‘It’s ok, Yoongi, it’s over and you are safe. I promised to help you get home once morning comes, didn’t I?’ Yoongi’s eyes widened at that. 

‘Is it…’, he hesitated before continuing, ‘is it safe to go now?’ Jimin smiled. Yoongi still seemed kind of out of it, not that he could blame him, but he was responsive and seemed rested enough. ‘It is’, he answered. ‘If you feel up to it. If you need more rest, you can stay here for as long as you need to.’ 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘I need to go home. My mates they-‘, he stocked and swallowed hard, remembering the worry in their bond, ‘they will be so worried.’ 

And Jimin did understand that. ‘We can leave whenever you are ready, Yoongi,’ he said and then startled when Yoongi suddenly clambered up from the mattress, turning to look at Jimin expectantly. It was kind of endearing, seeing how eager he was to go home to his mates. It must be nice, being mated, having someone to come home to and someone who loves you, Jimin thought wistfully before shoving such thoughts to the back of his mind and getting up himself. 

‘I take it you’re ready to go then’, he grinned at Yoongi and a smile made it’s way onto the alpha's face as he nodded. Jimin decided not to dwell on how cute that gummy smile was. 

‘Do you need anything before we go?’, he asked the other. ‘I don’t have much, but there’s some water and a few power bars around here somewhere for sure.’ 

Yoongi just shook his head. 

‘Alright then’, Jimin said, grabbing the flashlight. ‘I need to warn you, Yoongi. The only way out of here is through the tunnels below and it’s going to be dark. I’ll be bringing my flashlight though, and I know the way, so please don’t worry, ok?’ 

Yoongi’s scent spiked slightly at the mention of the tunnels but he seemed to calm down again when he saw the flashlight in Jimin’s hand. ‘Ready to go?’ Jimin asked and when Yoongi nodded, he offered his free hand to him, waiting for the other to take it before they began making their way outside.

-----

Yoongi wasn’t sure how he felt about the tunnels. Even with Jimin’s flashlight it was still too dark and suffocating down here. They were moving fast, Jimin holding his hand and guiding him through what felt like a maze. Just what was this place? 

He wasn’t sure if he was in a position to ask. When Jimin had woken him up, for a moment he had been disoriented, thinking it was Jin trying to get him to get up earlier than necessary, something he liked to do every now and then. But then Jimin had giggled, making him realize that there was no Jin around. It had taken him a moment to recognize the person sitting in front of him; to remember why he was with him and where he was. 

Well, the where had essentially stayed a mystery. He knew it was Jimin’s place, but he didn’t really know its location. When he had looked around the room, he had quickly realized that it was anything but a real home. The floorboards were chipped and cracked, the walls bare of anything, the only window boarded-up. 

There was no electricity and judging from the bucket of water he had spotted, also no running water. Even the furniture was sparse. A low table sat in the middle of the room, a worn pillow in front it, probably as a means  to sit on. The mattress he had been sleeping on was in one corner, a small chest of drawers in the other. There was a door on the left side of the room, but it was closed, and Yoongi wasn’t sure where it led to. There was also an open doorway leading to the stairs they had taken later on to go back to the tunnels. And that was it. 

The only source of light in the room had been Jimin’s flashlight and the little bit of daylight that had begun to filter through the cracks in the window-boards. Whatever this place was, it wasn’t what Yoongi would call a home, but he wasn’t about to offend Jimin. Not after everything the beta had done for him. 

Jimin had saved him last night, there was no denying that, and although some parts were really hazy in his memory, he remembered very clearly how warm and friendly and patient the beta had been with him, how he had helped him calm down from his panic attack, reminded him that he could connect to his pack via his bond and how he had held him when he was still too scared to fall asleep. Jimin had been nothing but kind to him but he hadn’t offered any explanation about his place. And Yoongi decided that if the beta didn’t want to talk about it, it really wasn’t his place to pry. 

Taking another turn to the right, following Jimin’s lead, they squeezed through a small opening and were finally outside. 

They were under a bridge at the river, Yoongi realized. He suddenly remembered how scared he had been when they had reached the open river area the night before, thinking everything was over there and then. So Jimin had known what he was doing, after all. 

Looking around, Yoongi wasn’t sure where exactly at the river they were, but he figured he would find a way to get home from here. 

‘We ran for quite a while last night’, Jimin’s voice interrupted his thoughts. ‘Mind telling me where you live?’ At Yoongi’s hesitating look he added quickly ‘I don’t need an address, just maybe a district or neighborhood so I know where we are headed?’ 

Yoongi blinked. We? Was Jimin planning on coming along? ‘Hannam-dong’, he answered automatically, and the beta nodded. 

‘That’s actually not too far, we can cross the next bridge over from here and from there it should only be a short walk’, he said, turning right and beginning to walk in the direction he had just pointed out. Throwing a glance over his shoulder, where Yoongi still stood rooted to the spot, he asked, ‘Are you coming or not?’

Yoongi hurried to catch up with him. 

‘You’re coming along?’, he asked curiously. Not that he minded, on the contrary. It was still early in the morning and even though the sun was up, there weren’t many people around yet. Plus, Yoongi wasn’t familiar with this area of Seoul at all. If he was being totally honest with himself, he felt relieved that he didn’t have to go alone. He felt safer with the beta around. 

Jimin gave him a blank look. ‘Do you really think that after what just happened last night I will let you wander around all by yourself in the early morning hours?’, he paused and gave Yoongi a quick once-over. ‘I didn’t sacrifice my firecrackers to get you out of that alley just to have you run into trouble again immediately after, you know?’, he concluded. 

Yoongi didn’t know whether he should be offended, amused or endeared by that. Maybe a bit of everything? Jimin was really making sure he was going to get home safely. Yoongi felt warmth spreading through him at that thought. 

‘Thank you’, he said and Jimin nodded. They walked in silence for a while before Yoongi finally gave in to his curiosity and asked, ‘So… Firecrackers, huh? That’s what you used in that alley last night. You just happened to carry those things around with you like that? Or do you always come prepared with firecrackers?’ 

Jimin huffed. ‘Yes, firecrackers. Don’t you dare mock firecrackers. Take the advice of somebody who’s got a little more street smarts than you – firecrackers are the best emergency defense you can have.’ 

Yoongi had to bite back a smile at that. Yes, Jimin definitely seemed to have more street smarts than him, he couldn’t deny that at all. ‘I shall keep that in mind’, he replied. Jimin seemed satisfied with that. 

They continued their way in silence, reaching the bridge the beta had pointed out earlier and crossing it. Yoongi began to recognize  his surroundings now, this wasn’t too far from his neighborhood. Relieve and anticipation washed over him at the thought of finally coming home to his mates. 

‘Jimin’, he began, realizing just how much the beta had actually done for him and that now he was only a few streets from home and he hadn’t even thanked him properly yet. 

Jimin looked at him.

‘Thank you. Really. I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up last night. You could have just ignored what was happening, the situation was dangerous for you, too. But you didn’t and you put up with me even though I was panicking all along. Thank you for getting me out of there and for not letting go of me when we reached the river and I wanted to dive right back into the alleys. Thank you for letting me stay at your place, for being so patient with me when I panicked, for holding me so I could fall asleep and for making sure I got back home safely. I can never make this up to you, Jimin. I want you to know, if there is anything I can do for you, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to say it.' 

Yoongi really meant it. It wasn’t lost on him that Jimin was practically homeless. He’d do whatever he could to help the man. But the other just shook his head. 

‘It’s really ok, Yoongi. You don’t have to pay me back in any form, I just did what I felt was right after all. Just promise me to not ever be stupid enough to walk through downtown Seoul in the middle of the night all by yourself again. I won’t always be around to be the knight in shining armor to your damsel in distress’, he grinned at Yoongi. 

‘Yah!’, Yoongi exclaimed but then he had to laugh. Jimin was really something else. ‘I promise’, he said. ‘I don’t want a repeat of this experience either.’ 

They had come to a stop at a crossroad. ‘I live just down there’, Yoongi pointed to their left. ‘You can come along if you want, have breakfast with me and my mates?’ He figured it was only fair to offer after everything Jimin had done for him. But again, the beta just shook his head. 

‘Thank you, Yoongi, but now is not the time for something like that. Your mates must have been so worried last night, you will probably need some time for yourselves. They will want to have you for themselves, and they will want to know what happened last night, too. Right now, they should be your priority. And I have to go back now, anyways.’ 

His mates. They had been so worried, Yoongi thought, as he turned to look down his street, imagining just how badly they must have been affected by his panic attack the night before. He really hoped they had understood what he was trying to communicate when he had sent them calm and relief, hoped they had realized he wasn’t in danger (at least not anymore) and that he would come home to them as soon as he could. 

He frowned when he realized that he would have to tell them what had happened last night. He didn’t mind telling them about foolishly deciding to walk home alone, although he didn’t doubt one bit that at some point, they would lecture him for that. But telling them about the attack in detail? About the attempted assault? He shuddered just at the thought of those hands roaming over his body, however briefly it had been. Yoongi didn’t think he was ready to talk about that yet, but would it be ok to keep something like this from his mates? 

Jimin was right, he thought dejectedly, now was not the time to invite him. But maybe he could invite him for a later time? He really wanted to do something for the beta, even the tiniest little thing, to show him how grateful he was for everything. 

Smiling, he turned around to ask if he could invite him for a different day. 

But Jimin was already gone.

-----

Jimin hurriedly made his way back to the river. As soon as he noticed Yoongi getting lost in thought while staring down his street, he took the chance and slipped away. If he stayed any longer, he would get even more attached and that just wouldn’t do. 

He already had begun to like this alpha way more than he should, his wolf thoroughly enjoying his comforting coffee and whiskey scent and Jimin himself enjoying teasing Yoongi. It was best to leave now, before parting became too painful. Besides, he reminded himself and his wolf, Yoongi was already mated anyway. His wolf didn’t seem to care, though. There were several mates already, there might just be room for one more. 

'Hush’, Jimin muttered under his breath. That was a possibility he didn’t even want to consider. It really wasn’t neither the time nor the place to get attached to anyone. He had things that had to be done, after all. 

-----

They weren’t able to fall asleep after Yoongi had calmed down. Although they had been reassured that he was doing ok now and probably wasn’t in any immediate danger, they still didn’t know what had agitated him so much in the first place or where he currently was and that lack of knowledge had kept sleep far away from them. At least they had been able to calm down considerably, their scents slowly returning back to normal. 

After a while, Jin had gotten up, pressing a soft kiss to Jungkook’s temple in the process, reassuring the others that he would be back soon. 

He had made his way to the kitchen. There wasn’t much they could do now except for waiting for Yoongi to come home. He doubted it would be right away, though. Panic attacks were exhausting on body and mind and judging from how subdued Yoongi’s bond felt right now, he probably had fallen asleep. Jin just hoped that wherever Yoongi was at the moment was a safe place to fall asleep. 

Grabbing a pot, he poured some milk into it and set it on the stove, letting it heat up. Figuring they all could use something soothing right now, he grabbed a serving tray and set five mugs on top of it, spooning some cocoa powder into each one. 

While he waited for the milk to come to temperature, he thought back to the evening Yoongi had told them about his past. 

Things didn’t change immediately after that. Not that any of them had expected that either. Getting Yoongi to open up and share his emotions wouldn’t happen overnight, even Jungkook and Taehyung had understood that despite still being so young at the time. But they all made a conscious effort to be around Yoongi more often without crowding him. Sitting with him in silence slowly became a habit all of them seemed to enjoy. Every once in a while, one of them would ask him how he was doing, giving him an opening in case he needed to talk. 

Ever so slowly, Yoongi began to talk to them more often, even joining them for nights out together or movie nights from time to time. They learned about his likes and dislikes, were surprised to hear that he not only enjoyed watching basketball but also was good at playing it (he had literally played everyone against the wall at the basketball machine during an arcade visit) and were constantly surprised by how caring he was. Not that he was showing this openly. It was always small gestures like handing over towels, food or drinks to them when they hadn’t even realized yet that that was exactly what they needed at that moment. Or bringing home foods or drinks that were their favorites when he went out to the grocery shop. 

And ever since they had mated, he had begun showing his affection more openly, too. Still mostly within the confines of their home, though, but it had been a huge improvement in their eyes.  

Jin smiled softly. Yoongi had really changed a lot since then. 

Turning off the stove, he poured the milk into the mugs, giving each a quick stir before adding some chocolate sprinkles and marshmallows on top. Might as well go all out with this, he thought. They didn’t have hot chocolate  all that often, especially not during summertime, but he gathered tonight was one of those nights that literally screamed for the comfort of that particular hot beverage. 

Jin grabbed the tray and made his way back into the pack room. Namjoon had sat up, leaning against the headboard, Hobi still curled into his side. Jungkook had not moved at all from his position, laying half across Taehyung, face buried in the beta’s neck. 

‘Since sleep won’t come, I thought we all deserve some comfort drink’, Jin said softly and stepped closer. Seeing the tray with the mugs, Taehyung and Jungkook scrambled to sit up, eagerly reaching for it. Namjoon let out a low chuckle at that, handing a mug to Hobi before taking one for himself. ‘Thank you, hyung’, he said. 

Taking the last one for himself, Jin set down the tray and made his way back into the pack bed, settling against the headboard on Namjoon’s other side. 

For a while they stayed silent, sipping on their hot chocolates, lost in thought. Exhaustion was settling in slowly. It had been a long day and then became an ever longer night. 

‘Hyungs?’, Jungkook hesitated, not sure how to phrase what was on his mind. 

‘What is it, Jungkookie?’, Namjoon asked, looking at their youngest mate, knowing that sometimes he needed a moment to gather his thoughts. 

‘When Yoongi-hyung comes home, what do we do?’ 

Hoseok tilted his head in question, not really understanding what the young alpha was getting at. 

‘I mean, will we ask him what happened? What if he doesn’t want to tell us? What if he closes off about it?’ 

What would they do, indeed? Namjoon wondered. ‘We can ask him what happened, but we can’t force him to tell us. There isn’t really anything we can do if he doesn’t want to talk about what happened to us. We all know that sometimes it takes time for him to open up about things, so the best we can do for him is being patient and checking in on him from time to time, until he is ready to talk to us. Just like we always do’, he tried to reassure his pack. 

‘What if-’, Tae stocked before continuing reluctantly, ‘What if something really bad happened?’ 

Hoseok sighed. ‘Then we will take it from there. There is no use in worrying about this before we know what actually did happen tonight. But whatever it is, we will find a way to deal with it and make it right, ok?’ 

Taehyung nodded, put his now empty cup down and then threw himself at Hobi, making the elder beta let out a surprise huff before he chuckled and pulled Tae closer to him. 

‘Don’t worry, everything will be alright’ he said soothingly.

Time had been ticking by more slowly than ever or so it seemed to them. At 7 a.m. Namjoon had called management and told them that they had a pack emergency at night, asking if today’s training could be rescheduled to a later day, so that they could have the day off to sort through the issue. Thankfully they didn’t have any promotional schedule for the date, so clearing the day was not a big problem. 

Now it was almost half an hour later, and they were all sitting up on the bed, fidgeting. A little while ago they had felt a short spark of relief and anticipation from Yoongi that made them assume he was on his way home. It was about time, too, they were already close to worrying again because he still hadn’t returned. 

There was the sound of a key turning in a lock and then they heard their apartment door opening. Throwing each other a quick glance, they jumped from the bed, practically racing out of the room and down the hallway. 

Yoongi stood in the entrance, looking more disheveled than they had ever seen, clothes dirty and hair messy, his sweatshirt torn on one arm. He was paler than usual, dark rings under his eyes, hands shaking slightly. 

‘Yoongi-yah’, Jin breathed out and then rushed forward to engulf him in a big hug. He felt Yoongi stiffen for a moment and frowned. That hadn’t happened for a long time. But then Yoongi relaxed and all but melted into the embrace, nuzzling into his neck and taking deep breaths, inhaling Jin’s soothing rose water scent. 

The others were quick to surround them, drawing them into a group hug. They stayed like this for a while, none of them saying a word. It was only when Yoongi began to fidget in Jin’s hold that the older drew back a bit, making everyone else gave them some space as well. Still holding Yoongi, he gave him a once-over and decided that first things first, his mate needed to freshen up. 

‘Come on’, he said gently, ‘let’s get you into something more comfortable first, hm?’ 

Not waiting for an answer, he dragged Yoongi along to his room, Hoseok following hot on their heels. When Tae and Jungkook moved to follow as well, Namjoon held them back. 

‘Don’t overwhelm him’, he said. ‘Let’s prepare him a hot chocolate and maybe a little snack, just in case he is hungry and then we wait for them in the pack room, ok?’ 

The two youngest complied easily, happy there was something they could do for their hyung. It didn’t take long for Seokjin and Hoseok to join them in the kitchen as well since Yoongi had very gently but very determinedly told them that he was very much capable of changing clothes by himself, thank you very much. It drew a small chuckle from all of them. That sounded a lot like their Yoongi.

-----

Yoongi took his time changing. He wanted nothing more than to go and cuddle with his mates, but he also knew there were going to be questions and he didn’t know if he could tell them what exactly had happened. This wasn’t something he wanted to talk about at all. At least not yet. 

Sighing deeply, he resigned himself to answering as truthfully as he could without going into detail too much. He would never lie to his mates, but the memory of the assault was still too fresh in his mind and he didn’t want to revisit it yet, maybe not ever. 

Stepping out of his room he made his way over to their pack room, knowing very well he would find them all waiting there for him, probably ready to smother him with cuddles. Not that he minded, cuddles from his mates were exactly what he wanted and needed right now. 

Sure enough, Tae and Jungkook bounced over to drag him into the pack bed the moment he stepped into the room. Yoongi decided to just let it happen, sighing softly as he sank into the mattress, hugging his two youngest mates close to him. It didn’t take long for the others to follow suit, joining them in another group hug, their scents mingling together. 

For some reason, Yoongi could smell his own scent much stronger than he usually would. That was weird, normally their scents balanced each other out so well. He glanced around and noticed one of his shirts peeking out from under a pillow. Yoongi paused, shifting slightly to take another look around the pack bed. Had his mates built a nest with his clothing? None of them had ever nested before, it just wasn’t something alphas and betas would typically do. 

Guilt began to build in him as he took in his surroundings and his mates, noticing the dark shadows under their eyes. Just how much had they worried last night? How much had he made them suffer? And all because he had been too reckless, running around in Seoul at night even though they had been warned not to do so countless times. If only he had called Seokjin or tried to take a hold of a taxi or slept in his studio. He hadn’t meant to worry them like that. He really hadn’t wanted to make them suffer like that.

It didn’t take long for the others to pick up on his inner turmoil, the distraught in their bond and Yoongi’s burning scent giving him away fast. 

‘Hyung’, Namjoon said, reaching out a hand to stroke his hair. ‘What’s wrong?’ 

Yoongi closed his eyes, relishing the familiar touch. ‘I’m sorry’, he choked out and for some reason it reminded all of them of the night he had first opened up to them. Slowly, they sat up, one by one, dragging Yoongi along with them. Seokjin decided that maybe now would be a good time to give Yoongi the hot chocolate they had prepared earlier, before it went cold completely. He made a motion for Hoseok to hand him the mug and then pressed it into Yoongi’s hands. 

‘Drink, Yoongi-yah. It will help you calm down, hm? I don’t know what happened, but you have nothing to be sorry for. We won’t be angry, I promise.’ 

Yoongi took a sip of his hot chocolate and thought that if they knew just how stupid he had been they would for sure be angry with him. It had been so reckless of him to throw all those warnings into the wind because he thought he knew better. If it hadn’t been for Jimin… 

Jimin. The thought of the feisty beta made him smile just the tiniest bit. If anything good had come of this, it definitely had been Jimin. He closed his eyes, taking another sip, conjuring up the image of Jimin’s face, the soft look in his eyes, the beautiful facial features, the plush lips – 

Yoongi almost choked on his hot chocolate. Where did that last one come from? He distinctly recalled his wolf having labeled Jimin as cute the night before, too. Huh. He decided not to follow that thought any further right now. Still slightly smiling, he kept sipping on his chocolate. 

The others shared a glance. What was going on with Yoongi? At first he had seemed so content cuddling with them, then guilt and distraught had rippled through their bond and his scent had begun to burn and now he seemed calm, giddiness spilling into their bond as he sat smiling to himself. It wasn’t like Yoongi at all, Jin mused. He knew hot chocolate could have a calming effect but to this extent? Somehow, he doubted it. Seeing that Yoongi had finished his drink, he gently pried the mug from his hands, handing it back to Hobi before pulling Yoongi a bit closer. 

‘Can you tell us what happened last night, Yoongi-yah?’, he asked gently. 

There it was. The question they all had wanted to ask the moment Yoongi had stepped into the apartment. The question that Yoongi was dreading so much. He sighed deeply. 

‘I was stupid.’ 

‘Yeah?’, Hobi asked with a small grin before adding ‘We all are stupid sometimes, it’s ok. You can tell us, you know?’ 

‘Not just stupid. Really, really, really stupid. I just-‘, Yoongi broke off, not sure how to say what needed to be said. 

Namjoon looked at him. ‘Hyung, whatever it is, it’s alright. We all make mistakes, it’s normal, we’re not perfect that way. I promise we won’t be angry or hold it against you or think of you any different. It’s alright, you can tell us’, he coaxed. 

Yoongi closed his eyes. He knew he had to tell them at least partly but there were details he just didn’t want to go into yet. They would have to wait. 

‘Just don’t-  Please just don’t interrupt me’, he said. 

They assured him they wouldn’t and silence settled over them as they waited for Yoongi to start talking.

 ‘I- I stayed in the studio last night because I wanted to finish a song I have been working on for a long time. But it didn’t go as planned. I kind of – drifted into thoughts about you all and it really made me miss you’, he paused. 

His mates smiled at that, it wasn’t often that Yoongi so openly stated that he was soft for them. 

‘I missed you and I wanted to be with you and cuddle with you and not sleep on that lonely studio couch like I had originally planned. But it was already almost 2 a.m. and I knew you were all asleep by now and I didn’t want to wake anyone up just to ask for a ride’, Yoongi took a breath, collecting his thoughts. 

The others looked at each other with unease, already feeling they wouldn’t like where this was going to go. 

‘It’s actually not that far from the company to our place…’, Yoongi began again and dread washed over Seokjin. He had a feeling he knew what Yoongi was going to say next. He had always been too stubborn for his own good. ‘… so I decided to walk home’, Yoongi concluded with a whisper. 

Ah, there it was, Seokjin thought. He couldn’t deny that going out alone at night had been stupid, but he also couldn’t really blame Yoongi, who had never liked to be overly protected by their company. He reached out a hand, gently putting it on Yoongi’s back, trying to reassure him. Yoongi slightly leaned into the touch before he continued. 

‘It was really ok at first. I was already halfway home but then I realized that it was still a pretty long walk and I just wanted to be here already, so I checked my phone for any shortcut, and I found one in a small alley connecting two streets and I decided to take it and that was so fucking stupid’, Yoongi rushed out, gasping for air and trying to collect himself again as the events from last night came rushing back at him full force. He could feel uneasiness and worry creep into their bond, his mates' scents beginning to burn slightly. 

‘Please,’ he said. ‘I’m ok, please don’t worry. I just- It’s not easy to talk about it. But I’m fine, I promise.’ 

Slowly, the scents in the room began to return to normal and the bond began to feel calmer, although a tinge of worry still lingered around. 

‘I was halfway through the alley when somebody grabbed me from behind. I lost the grip on my phone and it shattered on the ground.’ 

So that’s why they hadn’t been able to reach him. The pack exchanged looks as they waited for Yoongi to continue. Yoongi swallowed hard. There was no way he could tell them about the assault, he was barely holding on as it was. 

‘I managed to get away from the guy and tried to get out of the alley but another one blocked my path, and I was stuck. They said they wanted whatever valuables I might have’, Yoongi pressed out. 

So far, so true. He would have to omit what else they had told him, though. There was no way he could repeat that to his mates.

‘They grabbed me and dragged me back into the alley and I think that’s when I first began to panic. I don’t remember the next part too clearly but there suddenly was a loud sound and it startled all of us and then someone grabbed my arm and dragged me away. I just… followed, trying to keep my panic under control. We ran for what felt like forever and those two guys kept following us’, Yoongi felt his mates begin to panic slightly and decided that this was enough for now. They didn’t need to know about every detail of their escape, all they needed to know was that Jimin had brought him to his place and that he had been safe. 

‘I don’t know how exactly, but we did get away from them but by that time I was already spiraling into a really bad panic attack so the guy who had helped me brought me to his place.’ 

Something flared in their bond and Yoongi wasn’t quite sure what it was. Worry? Fear? Anger? Something else? He couldn’t really place it. 

‘It’s ok, really. He didn’t do anything to me. He was very calm and gentle actually. When he realized that I was having a panic attack, he helped me with my breathing. I was in no condition to go home at that point, so he offered me a place to sleep and when we woke up this morning, he walked all the way to Hannam-dong with me to make sure I arrived here safely’, Yoongi concluded. 

He felt a little bit guilty, he had omitted quite a lot. But the gist of it was there, he had been stupid enough to go out alone at night, he had taken a shortcut, he had been attacked and saved, had fled through the back alleys of the city and Jimin had helped him calm down and get home. The rest… 

Yoongi swallowed hard. The rest would have to wait until he was ready to deal with it.

There was a short moment of silence after Yoongi had ended. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see the looks on his mates’ faces right now. Scared to find disappointment, disapproval, anger or pity. He could feel them all staring at him and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.Someone sighed. 

‘Yoongi-yah.’ 

Seokjin’s calm voice was so soothing, Yoongi thought. 

‘Come on, look at us.’ 

He didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to, but he had made them worry so much because he had been stupid and reckless, and he hadn’t even told them everything yet and didn’t he somehow owe it to them? Slowly, he opened his eyes, looking at his mates. 

They were crying, he realized. Why were they crying? He was alright, wasn’t he? He felt tears build up in his own eyes as he reached out for Jungkook. 

‘Please don’t cry, I’m alright, everything is ok’, he whispered and pulled the young alpha into a hug. 

‘B-but hyung’, Tae whimpered, ‘that must have been so scary, and you were all alone, and you panicked so hard and-‘, he was cut off when Yoongi pulled him into a hug as well, releasing calming pheromones. 

‘It was very, very scary’, he admitted. ‘And I cursed myself so many times for being so stupid to go out by myself.’ 

Hoseok, who had slowly moved behind him, suddenly attached himself to Yoongi’s back. ‘It was stupid, but I can’t blame you. Wanting to be with your mates is a very valid reason to hurry home in my eyes’, he said jokingly, trying to lift the mood a bit and nuzzling into Yoongi’s neck. 

‘Hyung.’ Yoongi looked at Namjoon. ‘Are you really ok? You know you can tell us if you need anything, right?’ 

‘I’m fine, Namjoon-ah. Definitely still a bit shaken up and very tired but it’s nothing that cuddles from my mates and lots of sleep can’t cure’, Yoongi said and that had Jin and Namjoon launch themselves at their already huddled together mates, making them all collapse and chuckle airily. 

They rearranged themselves in silent agreement of cuddling together and finally getting some long-needed sleep. 

‘Yoongi-yah’, Jin’s voice came as they finally all had found a comfortable position. ‘Do you know who the stranger who helped you was?’ 

The others perked up at that, it was something they had wondered about as well. Yoongi had never mentioned his name, had he not introduced himself? 

A smile made its way onto Yoongi’s face as he nodded sleepily. 

‘Jimin.’

He didn't notice the frowns on his mates' faces as they felt giddy affection rush through their bond at the mention of the name.

Chapter Text

The little boy cried, his eyes overflowing with tears.

It had been a week since his birthday. A day that he had looked forward to so much. A day that was supposed to be his most special day of the year. He had been so excited to go to the amusement park with his parents and his little brother, so thrilled that his parents had remembered just how much he had wished to go there. Now he wished that he had never heard of this park ever before. He wished with all his little heart that he could turn back time and take back everything he ever said about wanting to go to the park.

Everything had happened so fast. One moment, they had been standing on the train platform, waiting for the train that would bring them to their destination, the next moment, everything had turned into absolute chaos. Even now the boy wasn’t completely sure what exactly had happened. 

He remembered his parents talking to each other, his mother sorting through her bag to find a tissue for his brother, who, as always, had had a runny nose. The little boy had looked around, curious. He rarely ever took the train and there was so much to see. He had taken a few steps away from his family when a colorful poster for the new movie of one of his favorite animations had caught his eye. Throwing a quick look at his parents, he had pointed at the poster and his father had smiled and nodded, encouraging him to go check it out. 

The little boy had practically skipped over to the poster, marveling over his favorite characters. Some of them were in new outfits and the boy got lost in thought a little bit, thinking about what might actually happen in that movie. Maybe someday his parents would watch it with him? 

Suddenly, there had been shouting. He saw men running onto the platform, it looked like they were chasing each other. 

A loud bang had sounded, and people screamed. The sound came again and again and again. People were throwing themselves on the ground or running away. 

The little boy looked over to where his family had been just a few moments ago but he couldn’t see them in the chaos. Someone suddenly grabbed him and jumped onto the tracks with him, crowding them into the small emergency space below the train platform. He screamed in shocked surprise. The man tried to calm him down, saying something about danger and a shooting. 

Something registered in the little boy’s brain at that. Someone was shooting bullets up there. The boy began to shake, fear taking a hold of him. Where were his parents, his brother? He wanted to crawl out from under the platform to go and look for them, but the man kept his hold on him, repeating that it was dangerous and that this was the safest place to be right now. 

Listening to the sound of guns being fired above them, the boy had slowly given up his fight and waited.

He had no idea how long it had been until it finally was silent above them. A few more people had joined them under the platform and when there hadn’t been any shots for a while, someone had carefully left their safe spot to check if it was ok to come out. Slowly they had made their way out from under the platform, the man still holding onto him as he helped him climb back up. 

There was police here now, the little boy had noticed. And paramedics. 

Blood. 

There was so much blood. 

The little boy really didn’t want to look at the people lying on the ground, but he had to find his family somehow. The man had let go of him and the boy began running in the direction he had last seen his parents and his brother. He needed to find them, they must be so worried about him. 

And then he saw them. His father was lying on the ground, half above his mother who was holding his brother in her arms. Relief had washed over him at having found them and he ran over, throwing himself into their cuddle pile, holding on tightly and telling them that he was alright and that he was sorry if he had made them worry. 

It took him a while to realize that they weren’t responding to him. There were no arms hugging him back, no hands weaving through his hair, no voices answering him. The boy had stilled. 

No. 

This couldn’t be. 

They looked alright. They were alright. 

Why weren’t they reacting to him? 

He sat up a little, frantically shaking at his father’s shoulders, sobs escaping him, yelling at them to look at him, to talk to him, to wake up.

Why weren’t they waking up? 

Deep down he already knew the answer, but he refused to believe it. 

At some point, someone had noticed him and his situation. People had come over, prying him away from his family, holding him close while paramedics checked on them. He saw one of them shaking his head and then they began covering his parents and his brother up with blankets. 

The boy had known then. 

He had known that his family was gone, that they wouldn’t come back to him. That he would never hear his father’s laugh again, never see his mother’s smile again, never would be able to fool around with his brother again. 

The pain in his chest had become unbearable as he started screaming.

It had been a week since his birthday and the little boy now lived in a rundown orphanage in a rather poor part of Seoul. 

He hated it. 

When he had finally stopped screaming that day, he had managed to confirm that he had no other family and they had brought him here. He had not been allowed to go back to his home at all. Someone else had gone and gotten some of his things for him, including a picture of his family that he now kept locked away in the drawer of his desk. It was too painful to look at. 

He wasn’t allowed to go back to his old school, there was a school right here at his orphanage that he was supposed to go to from now. The other kids had begun calling him a cry baby, but he couldn’t help it, the tears just wouldn't stop flowing. 

The boy’s heart felt empty. 

He missed his family so much.

Chapter Text

It had been a week since Jimin left Yoongi at the crossroad and as much as he hated to admit it, Jimin was not doing too well. 

Firstly, his wolf had become ridiculously annoying, constantly pointing out how beautiful Yoongi was and how addicting his scent was. Not that Jimin hadn’t noticed that himself. Especially the thing about the scent. Yoongi’s scent had still been lingering in his room when he had returned, and it was strongest on his bedsheets. It was a bit embarrassing really, but he hadn’t brought it over himself to wash the sheets and get rid of the scent. There was just something so comforting and calming about it. 

Of course his wolf reveled in the fact that Jimin didn’t get rid of the smell. Jimin just hoped things would return to normal soon, the scent was naturally fading away now anyway and hopefully his wolf would forget about Yoongi once it was completely gone. 

He sighed. He and his wolf had always been so in tune, why did they have to reason over seeing the alpha again now? Jimin couldn’t risk getting attached and his wolf had always accepted that. Why was it different this time? 

As if his wolf wasn’t trouble enough, Soobin's lot was also giving him a hard time ever since they had found out that he had had no idea who Yoongi actually was. Apparently they had recognized him immediately the first time they had shone their flashlight on them under the bridge. 

Or so they had told him when he came back from walking Yoongi to Hannam-dong. 

As promised, he had gone to look them up. Which essentially meant that he had checked out all of their hangout spots and when he hadn’t been able to find them at any of those, he had decided to just go finish up on some things he hadn’t been able to finish last night because Yoongi had happened. The lot would find him anyway, he thought dejectedly. 

It hadn’t taken them long. 

Jimin had just finished catching up with some people from the homeless community across the river about the newest street gossip and was walking through the park, silently telling his wolf that leaving Yoongi behind was the right decision, the rational decision to make. Suddenly he had heard a shout, and someone had attached themselves to his back yelling ‘Tag, you’re it!’, before letting go, and running off, only to collapse in heaps of laughter after just a few steps. 

Jimin had sighed, turned around, closed the distance between them and touched Kai’s shoulder. 

‘Tag, you’re it’, he mocked, giving the boy a blank look. 

‘No fair, I was out of commission!’, Kai gasped. ‘You wouldn’t have caught me otherwise’, he continued with a pout. 

Jimin looked at him and raised an eyebrow. ‘What makes you think you could outrun me?’ 

‘Hey!’, Kai shouted, trying to look offended, ‘I have you know I’m lightning fast!’ 

Jimin shrugged, unimpressed. ‘We shall put that to a test soon, then. Under fair conditions. When I had enough sleep.’ Kai grinned at the prospect of that.

‘Ji!’, a shout sounded and Jimin turned once again, just in time to see Beomgyu running straight at him. 

‘I missed you!’, he exclaimed, moving to hug Jimin and the beta quickly sidestepped to avoid the embrace, leaving the other frowning at having missed his opportunity, while stumbling right past him. 

Kai giggled and Jimin sighed. ‘It hasn’t even been 24 hours’, he complained. 

Not for the first time Jimin wondered if they had somehow secretly managed to put a tracker on him or something. 

How did they always manage to find him? 

Watching the rest of Soobin’s lot arrive, he thought back to how he had first met them about three years ago. They had been new in the area and immediately had gotten themselves into trouble with the riverbank homeless community. 

Jimin had been doing his usual rounds when a commotion had peaked his interest. The people down at the riverbank were generally very peaceful, not above sharing whatever they had with those who needed it, be it food, items, a place to sleep, advice or information. 

That’s why Jimin had been surprised to see them cornering five boys, yelling at them in outrage. 

The boys had yelled right back, eyes darting around in what seemed to be growing panic, obviously looking for a way out of the situation. 

Jimin had resigned himself to watch for a while, trying to figure out what was going on but had given up quickly because everyone just kept shouting over each other. At some point, he had had enough, stepping between the two groups and yelling at them to shut up. He hadn’t thought that would do any good at all what with how loud they were being already, so when everyone suddenly fell silent he was so stunned, he forgot what he had wanted to say. 

Blinking in confusion, he looked around for a moment before finally asking what was going on and immediately both parties began to explain. If they were to keep going like this, they would definitely give him a headache soon, he had thought grimly. Holding up a hand, he asked the riverbank people to explain first, assuring the boys they’d get their turn, too. 

Apparently the lot had run rampage through the little community, stealing any food they could lay their hands on and, after having been caught red-handed, had damaged several cardboard homes while trying to escape. 

Jimin’s eyes had widened at that. 

The cardboard homes were about the only home these people knew and they took great care of them – no wonder they were so upset. The boys could have just asked for whatever they needed, the people down here were nothing if not helpful, after all. 

Turning to the boys, he had asked if that was true and had received no answer. He figured that in itself was answer enough. 

‘Look’, Jimin had said, ‘I don’t know where you suddenly come from, I’m sure I’ve never seen you around here before. You should know that you can’t just go and take people’s items or even worse, destroy their homes. Is that how things worked where you came from? Because it’s not like that here. If there’s anything you need, you can ask. Most people here are more than willing to help but none of us want any trouble, ok? We all are trying to survive here, fighting each other won’t do us any good.’ 

The boys had just stood there, heads lowered, not meeting anyone’s eyes. Jimin took a moment to look at them more closely. He could see now that they were scared, the cool act from before all but faded away, leaving in its wake just a bunch of terrified kids who were looking way too scrawny, clothes torn and dirty. They were probably just trying to survive, Jimin thought. 

Somehow they reminded him of himself. 

He sighed, remembering how he had first arrived here and how his hyungs had helped him find his footing. He would have been so lost without their help. And he had been so freaking scared, too.

‘Listen’, he continued a bit more friendly, ‘apologize and if you still have any items that don’t belong to you, return them now. Then I’ll go with you and we will fix the damage you have done to those homes together.’ 

The boys stayed silent, eyes glued to the ground. 

Seeing that one of the riverbank people seemed to want to interrupt him, he held up a hand before turning to the boys once again.

‘If you do that, I will treat you to some food once we are done.’ 

That seemed to do the trick, the boys’ heads snapped up, finally looking at him, eyes filled with disbelief and distrust. 

It was a bribe, and he knew they would have to take it. If they had stolen food, they were probably really hungry. But stealing wouldn’t do in this community and they had to learn that as soon as possible if they wanted to stay. There were other ways to earn your keep around here. 

He turned to look at Haneul, one of the riverbank community leaders. 

‘Would that be ok with you?’ 

Haneul nodded. ‘If they return what they took and help repair what they damaged, we’re good.’ 

The boys had shifted at that, obviously surprised to be let off the hook like that. 

Jimin had raised an eyebrow at them. 

‘So?’, he asked. ‘What will you do?’ 

And they had apologized, handing over the stolen food and then spent quite a few hours fixing homes with Jimin. They had worked mostly in silence, only speaking when something was unclear.

Afterwards, he had taken them to his side of the river and bought all of them street vendor tteokbokki. It would make a significant dent in his budget but he figured he could always find another errand or two to run for the shopkeepers around the area. Right now, the kids needed food and some lessons on how things worked around here, he decided.

They had talked to him then. 

Jimin had learned that they had run away from their orphanage because two of them had presented as omegas and it wasn’t safe there for them. Jimin could relate to that. Some orphanages simply weren’t safe for anyone, actually. 

They had told him how they had been trying to survive for the past few weeks, sleeping in dark alleys and under bridges, always on the move and scared to be attacked by gangs or found by authorities. They had made their way to the river earlier that morning and hadn’t stopped to think twice when they had noticed nobody was around the cardboard homes, taking what they needed. It had been days since they had had some real food. 

Jimin could feel with them. That wasn’t all that different from his own story, only he had been lucky enough to have Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung find him on his first night out on his own. Bringing them back to the community across the river, he had asked Haneul to take them in for now, at least until they could find a place for themselves. There was no way Jimin could take them to his own place after all. 

The community had somehow managed to provide them with clothes, although not new because they had obviously been handed down. But they had been clean and weren’t torn. 

Over the course of the next few days, Jimin had seen the boys daily, teaching them about the community at the river, how to run errands for shopkeepers and business owners in the area to earn themselves some money or food in return, helping them find a place to stay. 

The last one hadn’t been easy since they were adamant about not staying with the community any longer than necessary. Although they got along with the people there now and were thankful for all the help they had received so far, they insisted that they would find a place to stay on Jimin’s side of the river. Not that Jimin was all that happy about that prospect but what was he supposed to do about it? It wasn’t like he owned the river after all. 

Finally, they had settled on a rotation system of several spots along the river, still too scared to be found and brought back to the orphanage to really settle down in one place. 

And like that, they had stuck around, making it their personal mission to annoy the heck out of Jimin. Or so it seemed to him. He couldn’t count the amount of times he had gotten them out of trouble by now. 

It had gotten better, though, he thought. They used to be all over the place. No wonder, considering they had been just kids. 

Kai and Taehyun had only been twelve back then, Yeonjun, the oldest, fifteen. Surprisingly enough, it hadn’t been Yeonjun who turned out to be the leader of their little group but Soobin, his one year younger fellow alpha. Jimin was kind of glad it had turned out like this. Out of all of them, Soobin seemed to be the most reasonable and he was leading his little group quite well. 

Now, between ages fifteen and eighteen, they were well settled in the riverbank community and totally capable of taking care of themselves. 

Which didn’t mean they would leave Jimin in peace, though.

‘Earth to Ji! Hellooooo, anyone home in there?’, Taehyun yelled at him, waving his hand in front of Jimin’s eyes and Jimin blinked. He really had gotten lost in thought, huh? 

Smirking, he smacked at Taehyun’s hand. ‘Don’t blame me for trying to dissociate from you.’ 

Yeonjun huffed. ‘As if. You can’t live without us.’ 

‘Want me to give it a shot?’ Jimin retorted, making both Beomgyu and Kai whine in protest. 

He smirked again before turning to Soobin with a serious expression. ‘Thank you again for last night. I don’t know if we could have made it without your distraction. You didn’t get into trouble?’ 

Soobin shook his head. ‘It was nothing. Don’t worry about it, Ji. If anything, we owe you for all the times you bailed us out.’ 

‘It was fun!’, Kai exclaimed and Jimin couldn’t help but sarcastically think that at least one omega had had fun last night then. 

‘Yeah, we had them chase us through Gangnam for what seemed like forever, and they never caught on to the fact that it was all a ploy’, Beomgyu laughed. Ok, Jimin amended silently, both omegas had had fun last night. 

Soobin gave Jimin a look. ‘How did you get yourselves chased by Vipers anyway?’ 

‘So they were Vipers? I had a hunch, but I couldn’t be sure’, Jimin mused. 

‘Saw one of the guy’s tattoos’, Yeonjun muttered. 

Jimin nodded thoughtfully, turning that piece of information over in his head. 

‘Was minding my own business really, when I saw that guy strolling around like he had no care in the world. Kinda intrigued me, so I followed him, only to notice I wasn’t his first stalker. Didn’t really want to get involved but then he stepped into one of those narrow back alleys, practically inviting them to mug him.’ 

‘And you got yourself involved’, Soobin concluded. 

Again, Jimin nodded. 

‘Not very like you, huh? Especially when Vipers are involved’, Taehyun said, eyeing Jimin with interest. 

‘I guess I was feeling generous last night’, Jimin conceded. ‘It cost me my firecrackers, though.’ 

Soobin’s eyes widened at that. Ji had had those firecrackers ever since they had first gotten to know him, carrying them around with him everywhere. He had told them one night that they had been a gift and meant a lot to him. And now he had just used them up to help someone he didn’t know at all? When he usually was so adamant about staying away from Vipers? 

Interesting. 

‘Sooooo, Ji’, Beomgyu said teasingly, ‘what happened to your rap star?’ 

Jimin blinked. His what now? 

‘My what now?’, he decided to echo his thoughts. 

‘Your rap star. You know. The guy you were so set on rescuing last night.’ Kai looked at Jimin expectantly. 

‘You mean Yoongi?’, Jimin clarified. 

‘Bingo! Min Yoongi, rapper extraordinaire of BTS. Surely you recognized him?’ 

‘I-‘, Jimin started, confused. 

‘Oh my gawd, Ji! Please tell me you’ve heard of Min Yoongi before! Or Suga. Does that ring any bell?’, Beomgyu exclaimed, shock making its way onto his face. 

‘No?’, Jimin asked, not sure why he formed his answer in question form. He had not heard of any Min Yoongi or Suga ever before. 

Or BTS for that matter. Whatever that was. 

There was silence. 

Jimin looked at the boys, the disbelief on Kai’s, Beomgyu’s and Taehyun’s faces being in stark contrast to the expressions of amusement Soobin and Yeonjun sported. 

‘What?’, he asked and then decided that since he already seemed to have admitted to being clueless it wouldn’t make any difference to ask about something else they had mentioned. ‘And what is BTS?’ 

Maybe he shouldn’t have asked, he thought when there was a collective groan from the younger ones and Soobin and Yeonjun burst out laughing. 

‘I can’t believe you, Ji! I mean, we knew you aren’t really all out there connected with the world and stuff, but have you been living under a rock or what?’ 

Jimin thought back to the tunnels leading to his place. They weren’t so far off, he thought with a smirk. 

Kai grabbed his arm. ‘I’m not gonna sit here and explain to you when I can show you’, he exclaimed and began dragging Jimin along. Beomgyu and Taehyun cheered, grabbing onto Jimin as well, making sure he couldn’t escape them. He shot a look at the two oldest of the lot, but they just grinned and followed suit. 

They dragged him out of the park, across the street, through some alleys and then stopped close to the center of Gangnam, pointing to a billboard sign at one of the buildings. Jimin blinked. It was a poster of six men, idols probably from the looks of it. 

‘Bangtan Sonyeondan – BTS’ the header read. 

Ok. So they were an idol group. Surely, Kai could have just told him that, right? 

He looked up again. He really wasn’t much into this pop culture stuff. He had loved to dance as a child, taking dance lessons and wanting to become a professional dancer but that was a long time ago and his chances of doing just that had been nipped in the bud. He shook his head. It was best not to think about that. 

Looking at the billboard sign again, Jimin sighed, wondering again just why he had been dragged all the way here to look at the advertisement for some idol group. At least the guys in the picture were all very good looking, Jimin thought, looking at them one by one. And then he saw him. Yoongi. Yoongi was one of the people on the poster. 

‘Oh’, was all he could say. 

Yeonjun snorted. ‘Oh, indeed. I can’t believe you haven’t heard of them. I mean I know we don’t run in circles that typically gossip about idols but they are one of the most popular groups in the country right now. They even have quite a big fanbase overseas, apparently.’ 

‘Everyone knows them, Ji. They are like the biggest thing right now’, Soobin added. 

‘Can’t believe you had no clue’, Taehyun added. 

‘I really have better things to do than to follow the latest trends of pop culture’, Jimin huffed at them. 

‘Yeah, yeah, we know, you have things to do and goals to achieve’, Beomgyu lamented for him. 

‘Well, it’s good that you know that, it might keep you from getting in my way and distracting me from now on’, Jimin said dryly. 

‘Hah, never!’, Kai exclaimed, and the damn lot burst into laughter. 

Jimin had to look away from them to hide his smile. He looked up at the billboard sign again. So Yoongi was an idol, he mused. Maybe his wolf would let it go now, there was no way they were ever going to cross paths again. They lived in two completely different worlds after all. 

-----

Jimin sighed. His wolf hadn’t let it go - on the contrary, Jimin now seemed to see pictures of Yoongi and BTS everywhere he went, and his wolf was more excited than ever. And Soobin’s lot just wouldn’t let him live down the fact that he had had no idea who Min Yoongi or BTS were. They kept whining to him about having hoped for at least an autograph, mocking him for living under a rock good naturedly. 

And then, on top of all that, there was the worst part of it all. Jimin himself. 

He didn’t know what was wrong with him, he had sworn to himself to never let anyone close again, knowing it would only be a matter of time before someone would inevitably get hurt. Especially now that he was so close to reaching his goal. Plus, it had only been one night, half of which was spent with a frantic flight, calming down a panicking alpha and making sure he got home ok. He didn’t even know Yoongi at all. 

And still… 

Jimin really, really missed Yoongi.

-----

It had been a week since Yoongi had come home the morning after that awful night and the pack was beginning to worry. Yoongi was somehow not himself and they didn’t know what to do about it. He flat-out refused to talk to them more about what had happened that night, changing the topic or shutting it down whenever one of them brought it up. He spent more time in his studio than at home, too. And every now and then when they looked at him, they caught him looking just a little bit sad. 

It broke their hearts to see him like this, not knowing the source of his sadness or the reason for his withdrawal. They were aching to help him, but they didn’t know how. All their usual tactics to get him to open up to them didn’t work. They had sat with him in comfortable silence every day, they kept asking him if he was alright to see if he wanted to talk, they cuddled him at night to reassure him that they were there for him. 

Seokjin sighed. Actually, they couldn’t hold him close every night because more often than not Yoongi had retreated to his own room these past few nights. He had always done that when he felt the need to step away from everything for a little while, but it definitely had become more frequent now. He barely spent the night with them anymore at this point. 

They had talked about it one evening after Yoongi had told them he’d sleep in his own room, huddled together on the pack bed. 

‘Maybe he just needs some time’, Hoseok had suggested carefully. 

‘But he seems… I don’t know, hyung, he seems kind of off, I don’t know how to explain it well’, Taehyung said, worry evident in his eyes. 

‘He’s definitely more reserved, but maybe he just needs time to come to terms with the events of that night’, Namjoon had tried to reason. ‘He probably blames himself for what happened and for worrying us and he will definitely not forgive himself easily for that.’ 

‘But we don’t blame him, so why would he blame himself?’, Jungkook was confused. 

Seokjin sighed. ‘The human mind doesn’t work like that, Kook-ah. Self-blame is not that easily overcome. And Yoongi especially is the type who would be very strict on himself.’ 

‘But then what will we do?’ 

They sat in silence for a while before Namjoon came to a decision. 

‘It has only been a few days since that night. Yoongi-hyung has never been one to work through emotional turmoil easily. Let’s give him some more time. This might be a setback in the progress he made so far so we shouldn’t pressure him too much or we could make it worse. For now, all we can do is be there for him and show him that he isn’t in this alone.’ 

They nodded in agreement.

It made sense, Seokjin thought. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to it than they could grasp at this point.

-----

It had been a week since Yoongi had turned around at the crossroad to invite Jimin for a later date and Jimin hadn’t been there anymore. 

For a moment, Yoongi had been stumped, wondering if everything had just been his imagination. Then he had caught sight of his disheveled appearance in the window of the store he was standing in front of. No, he had thought, this was real. 

And Jimin was gone. 

Yoongi had no idea why Jimin had suddenly disappeared without a word. He could have said goodbye at least, couldn’t he? 

Then again, Yoongi had been deep in thought about his pack and maybe Jimin had said something, but Yoongi hadn’t heard him. 

Yoongi sighed. A passerby gave him a curious look and Yoongi realized how out of place he must look with his mussed up hair and torn and dirty clothes. Sighing again, he had made his way home. 

Talking to his mates about what had happened had been hard. It had drained him, and he felt extremely guilty for not having been able to tell them the whole story. 

He was grateful for their understanding reaction though, he had expected them to get angry and scold him for being so reckless, but they hadn’t. Instead they had reassured him that everything was ok and cuddled him to sleep. 

Seokjin had taken him aside to talk to him the next day, though. ‘Yoongi-yah’, he had said, hesitating slightly, ‘about last night-‘ Yoongi had stiffened at that. He didn’t really want to talk about it anymore. 

‘Look, I understand you wanted to come home to us, and you didn’t want to burden us by asking for a ride but Yoongi, any of us would gladly pick you up wherever you are, no matter what time it is. It isn’t a burden at all, maybe a slight inconvenience, but we all do these things for each other, so it evens out in the end, no?’ Seokjin had asked and Yoongi had just stared at him. 

‘I just wanted you to know that. Whatever it is, don’t hesitate to call us for whatever trivial reason. I know you don’t like being overly protected by management and honestly, we all hate it at times. It would be nice if we could forego some of this, but they have their reason to do so. The streets of Seoul are not safe at night, even if there’s only one gang roaming around now.’ 

Yoongi swallowed hard. ‘Trust me, hyung, I know’, he said bitterly, and Jin looked at him.

‘I know you do. We all felt your panic, remember? Yoongi, you had us so freaking worried. I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page here. No more going out alone by yourself at night, ok? That goes for us as well, of course. I don’t want anything to happen to any of you ever again.’ 

Yoongi had nodded his agreement. There was no way he wanted any of them to go through what he had experienced either. 

‘I promise, hyung. No more reckless adventures at night.’

Sitting in his studio, Yoongi thought of the current situation. His pack had been very understanding. He could tell that they were aware that something was wrong with him. But Yoongi just couldn’t bring himself to tell them the rest of what had happened. 

Most of the time, he was able to shove it far back into a corner of his mind. During the day he was distracted enough with work, there was always enough to do, even now when they were between comebacks. But the nights… 

He sighed heavily. The nights had been different. Somehow it all seemed to come crushing down on him at night. He was scared he might get nightmares, scared he might talk in his sleep and give something away to his pack. So most of the nights he retreated to his own room after cuddling with his mates, saying that he needed time for himself. It wasn’t a lie, either, he needed time to come to terms with everything. 

Nights had become incredibly difficult and at this point, Yoongi actually would prefer to work through the night and sleep through the day if that meant keeping the memories and shadows away that lurked in the darkness of the night. Ever since that morning he had returned home there hadn’t been a single night that he had slept well. He could sleep fine during the day, but nights had begun to haunt him. 

He sighed again and thought back to the night he had spent at Jimin’s place. He had been exhausted then and so damn terrified. But Jimin had held him close, reassuring and warm (So warm, Yoongi’s wolf agreed) and he had felt the tension leave his body and mind. It had been easy to fall asleep, he mused.

If Yoongi was being honest with himself, he missed Jimin. He didn’t know if this was some kind of weird, reversed Stockholm syndrome in which a rescued person feels tied to the person who rescued them simply because they are grateful, but it had been a week since Yoongi had returned home and there hasn’t been a single day where he hadn’t thought of Jimin. 

His wolf reacted to that thought with a whimper. The beta had been comfortable to be around, friendly and funny and caring and safe. Yoongi missed Jimin’s voice, his teasing, his touch- 

He froze. What was he even thinking? He had five gorgeous, loving mates. His wolf just huffed, not impressed with that argument at all. 

Yoongi closed his eyes. There was something about the beta that was different. He could still feel a connection to him even though they barely knew each other. 

Shaking his head, he tried to get rid of these thoughts. It would probably go away with time, he just needed more time to get over everything that happened that night first. 

Another sigh escaped him. If only he could talk to his mates about what really happened. He longed so much for them to hold him, to reassure him that everything was alright, that he was safe with them, that they wouldn’t let anything happen to him. But for that he’d need to open up about what really happened and just the thought of doing so made him feel nauseous already. How was he supposed to talk about it when he couldn’t even stand to think about it? 

It had been a week since the night of the attack and Yoongi had no idea what to do.

Chapter Text

‘You cheated!’, Kai exclaimed, throwing his cards at Taehyun, who ducked them expertly.

‘I most certainly did not! It’s not my fault you suck at Eights!’, Taehyun grinned. 

‘I do not. You cheated!’ 

The two stared at each other. 

Soobin sighed. ‘Will we ever be able to play a game without you two getting into a fight?’ 

‘Nope’, Kai grinned. 

‘Where would be the fun in that?’, Taehyun asked and then added, ‘But for the record, I don’t cheat.’ 

‘You do! You use your hand magic!’ Kai accused and Taehyun burst into laughter. ‘How would sleight of hand do me any good in a game like this?’ 

‘What do I know, I’m not the one with tricks up his sleeve’, Kai huffed before launching himself at Taehyun and tackling him to the ground.  

Tuning out the two troublemakers, Soobin turned to look at Beomgyu and Yeonjun. Both were watching the quarrel with amused expressions. It always ended up like this somehow. They doubted very much that Kai meant his accusations, he just loved riling Taehyun up. And from what they could tell, Taehyun enjoyed the playful banter just as much, so there was no real harm done. They would just have to wait it out, like they always did. 

Leaning back against the wall, Soobin looked around. They were sitting on the ground next to some pretty dilapidated building. The place wasn’t exactly bustling with people, surrounding them were mostly warehouses and storage units. There also was a convenience store nestled between two of the warehouses. Some workers were milling about, another group of teens hanging out a few buildings further down the street from their current location. 

He looked at Ji, who seemed to have tuned out all of them. Not that that was something new, they were pretty much used to it. The beta was sitting cross legged on the pavement, staring down the street and apparently being very much lost in thought. 

Briefly Soobin wondered why they always ended up in weird places whenever Ji asked them to hang out. They didn’t really mind though, it was rare enough for the elder to seek them out and ask for their company. So whenever he actually did just that, they always complied happily, not really caring where exactly they would end up eventually. 

Soobin still remembered the day they had first met Ji like it was only yesterday. There was no telling where or how they would have ended up if he hadn’t taken them under his wings, so to speak. 

Back then they had been so naïve, he thought. All they had wanted to do was to get Kai and Beomgyu away from the orphanage. But life in the streets had turned out a lot harder than any of them had anticipated. 

By the time they had raided the riverside people’s supplies they had been desperate, throwing all caution in the wind, hoping to get some food that would help them survive the next few days. 

Of course they had been discovered and even though they had tried to run away, they never really stood a chance. They had already been too weakened and tired and the community people had caught up with them fast, cornering them under a bridge. 

Soobin wasn’t sure how long they had been yelling at each other there, but he remembered clearly how desperately they had been looking for a way out, hoping to just find an opening to burst through and escape in all the chaos. But then Ji had shown up, walking straight between both of their groups, yelling an annoyed ‘Just shut up already, all of you!’ and startling everyone into complete silence. 

It had been impressive but also very intimidating.

The chaos had died down almost immediately and with it their last chance of getting out of there. They had realized then that there was no way they would get away with all those people cornering them and it had scared the heck out of them, fearing they were just going to be turned back over to the authorities. That realization had taken the last bit of fight out of them, and they had waited defeatedly when Ji had listened to the riverside people and then asked for their side of the story. They had stayed silent. There was nothing that could have been said in their favor after all. 

None of them had expected Ji to be willing to actually help them. They had been shocked when he offered them a meal if they fixed the damage they had done. Recognizing a bribe when they saw it, they had taken up the offer anyway, not knowing what else to do and fully expecting for the guy to turn on them like it always happened. At least taking up his offer would give them some time to find a way out of this situation, Soobin had thought back then. 

But much to their surprise Ji had not turned on them. He had made them work hard, repairing all the damage they had done and not letting them off the hook even though they had really been too hungry, tired and scared to actually function well anymore. But he had also been patient, showing them over and over again when they struggled with something, never raising his voice at them and praising them when they did well. 

They had all but forgotten about the promise of food by the time they had finished, not having taken the bribe seriously in the first place. So when the last cardboard home had been fixed and Ji had asked if they liked tteokbokki, they were stunned. He had taken them across the river, gotten them food and somehow they had found themselves trusting him enough to tell him their story. 

It had turned out to be the right decision. Ji had arranged for them to stay at the riverside community despite the trouble they had caused there earlier and then had proceeded to teach them how things worked around the river and eventually helped them find their rotation hangout spots on his side of the river - all the while acting like he didn’t really care for them. 

They knew better though. Ji might like to keep things private and shut everyone out most of the time, but they knew he cared for them, they had realized that after the sewer incident.

Even after three years, Ji was still mostly a mystery to them, Soobin thought. They didn’t know anything about his past except for some cryptic remarks he would sometimes make, like telling them he was on some kind of mission and mentioning that the firecrackers he used to carry around were a very cherished gift. He didn’t let anyone get close to him, shutting down whenever talk got too personal. 

The one thing they actually did know about him was that he lived somewhere in those sewers under the bridge. In the very beginning they had made it their mission to find him in there, only to get lost twice. 

The first time they had been able to find their way out again by themselves, leaving Ji none the wiser about their little adventure. It had been the second time that had turned more serious, with them actually needing to be rescued by Ji, who for some reason seemed to be able to navigate that underground maze blindly. 

What had started out as an adventure to find Ji’s secret place had quickly turned serious when their flashlight had run out of batteries and they had lost all sense of direction. Stumbling around in the dark, they had soon realized that they wouldn’t find their way out again like this and had resigned themselves to staying in one spot, occasionally yelling for help. When Ji had finally heard them, he had come to get them and wordlessly led them back outside. They had been surprised to see it was already nighttime, as they had entered the sewers sometime midmorning – they really had been stuck in there for quite a while. 

Ji had been furious with them, yelling at them about how reckless they had been, how dangerous the sewers were, how easily they could have gotten totally lost or even worse, injured in there. It was one of the very few times Ji had actually been really angry with them, Soobin thought. 

At first they had thought it was because they had tried to find his place but then they had seen just how ragged and distraught he looked, despair written all over his face, and they realized that he had actually been very worried about them. Later on they learned from Haneul that Ji had been frantically looking for them all over the place once he had noticed that they apparently had gone missing. 

Realizing the elder actually cared about them a lot more than he let on had filled them with happiness and made them feel extremely guilty at the same time. They had apologized profusely, promising to never set foot into the sewers again. A promise that they had kept ever since. It was the least they could do after everything Ji had done for them after all. 

Since then, they had made it their own personal mission to ensure Ji wasn’t alone for too long, figuring that he was actually lonelier than he would ever admit to anyone. 

Soobin was pulled out of his thoughts by a new hand of cards being dealt to him by Yeonjun. Apparently Kai and Taehyun had finally settled their argument. 

‘We’re playing again?’, Soobin asked. 

‘Might as well, it doesn’t look like Ji is going to snap out of his trance anytime soon’, Yeonjun answered and all of them glanced at the beta who was still staring down the street. Sharing a look with each other, they shrugged and picked up their cards. 

‘Oh, I’m so gonna win this time!’, Kai exclaimed after a look at his hand, which was immediately countered with a ‘I’d like to see you try’, from Taehyun. 

‘Here we go again’, Beomgyu grinned and played the first card.

Jimin had learned to tune out the lot early on. They were just too loud and chaotic most of the time anyway. Still, he wasn’t completely unaware of what was going on around him, either, his attention was just mostly focused elsewhere. 

He had listened to Kai and Taehyun arguing over cheating and wondered how none of the others had caught on yet to the fact that Taehyun was indeed swapping cards in his favor whenever he had a chance to do so. Heck, Jimin actually wasn’t even sure Kai believed his own accusations, he might just throw those around because he loved teasing Taehyun. Still, Taehyun had been manipulating the groups’ card games ever since Jimin had first given them the poker set about two years back. 

He smirked. Not that it was any of his business, really. If the others were too blind to see Taehyun’s card swaps, he’d happily keep that secret for him. It was kind of fun watching them lose even when they thought they had a winning hand. 

He contemplated taking part in the next round for a moment but decided against it. It might distract him too much from his observations. Not for the first time he thought that he might actually be more efficient if he just went about this on his own. The lot definitely made for a great distraction though, he thought. Nobody would ever think they were here for anything other than hanging out and playing cards. 

Speaking of which, the new card game was now in full swing. 

‘This would have been so much more comfortable in the park. Just remind me. Why did we come all the way out here again?’, Beomgyu complained, shifting slightly, trying to get more comfortable in his position on the hard concrete. 

‘Same reason as always’, Yeonjun snorted. ‘We tagged along so Ji can get lost in his surroundings peacefully.’ 

Jimin looked up at that. They didn’t know, did they? He had been so careful not to get them actually involved in anything after all. Slowly, he turned to look at Yeonjun with a questioning stare. 

‘What?’, the other grinned. ‘It’s not like you ever do anything else than spacing out whenever you drag us somewhere to hang out.’ 

They weren’t wrong, Jimin thought. Had he really been this obvious? Did they suspect anything? Jimin frowned at that thought. 

‘Ji’, Soobin interfered, shooting Yeonjun a warning look. ‘He’s just teasing. It’s fine. We’re glad whenever you want to hang out, you don’t need to actually interact with us. If you are content with just having us around while you get lost in thought, that’s totally ok with us.’ 

‘It’s not like we have anything better to do anyway’, Beomgyu laughed. 

‘No offense, Ji, but next time can you please choose a more comfortable place to hang out? It’s fun to explore new places with you but this one kinda – you know – sucks?’, Kai chimed in and Taehyun shot him a look. 

‘You just say that because you keep losing today. Don’t blame it on the place’, and with that he placed down his last card, winning the round and making Kai yell out ‘Cheater!’ 

Jimin silently agreed, having seen how Taehyun had used their little talk as enough distraction to swap the remaining card in his hand with one hidden in his sleeve. 

‘Sorry, Ji’, Yeonjun said. ‘You know we don’t mind you spacing out on us, we’re used to it. I was just teasing you.’ 

Jimin nodded. So they didn’t suspect anything. At least not yet. He would definitely have to be more careful from now on. They might make for a great distraction but Jimin would never forgive himself if they somehow were to get involved in his business. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw someone enter the convenience store and got up, startling the lot. 

‘Are we leaving?’, Kai asked, moving to get up as well but Jimin quickly stopped him. 

‘Just getting a drink, will be right back.’ 

They watched him walk down the street and enter the convenience store. 

‘Weird’, Yeonjun muttered. 

‘When is he ever not?’ Soobin asked and they laughed.

-----

When Jimin entered the convenience store, the customer he had just seen enter was nowhere to be seen. 

‘Excuse me’, he turned to the clerk behind the counter, ‘might I use the restroom?’ 

The clerk nodded, rummaging around a bit for a key before handing it to Jimin. 

‘ ‘s the door over there’, he said, pointing to a door at the other end of the small store. Jimin thanked him and made his way over. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it and contemplated for a moment. 

There was nobody. Not in the store. Not in the restroom. Not in the small staff room that was open right next to the counter, either. He had seen that much when the clerk had been looking for the key just now, eyes quickly darting over and taking in the room. It had been messy, a few empty take out containers littering the floor and papers strewn all over, but definitely empty, too. 

He went over to flush the toilet for good measure, then turned on the water, deciding that since he was already here he could at least wash his hands. 

A small smile made its way onto his lips.

This was the information he had been looking for. Making a mental note to bring some extra food to the guy who had tipped him off on this he returned to the store, handing back the key to the clerk. Remembering he had told the lot that he was going to get a drink, he grabbed a bottle of water and then paused. Today was a good day. It called for a little celebration. He had been able to run some extra errands this week, too, so he probably could afford to treat the lot for once. It was hot outside after all. Smiling, he went to make his selection.

-----

‘Did he apply for a job there or what?’, Taehyun complained. They had played three more rounds by now, one of which he had lost on purpose so the cheating accusations wouldn’t actually stick with him, and Ji still hadn’t returned. ‘It can’t be that hard to buy a bottle of water now, can it?’ 

‘He probably spaced out and is now staring blindly at some products on the shelf’, Kai snickered and they all laughed at that image. 

Gathering up the cards, Taehyun contemplated whether he should deal another round and if so, whether he could get away with winning another round. He had been lucky none of the others took Kai’s accusations seriously, he thought with a smirk. The only one who seemed to have caught on was Ji, judging from the looks he gave him every once in a while. He never said a word about it though and Taehyun suspected that somehow Ji was enjoying the little charade in his very own way. 

‘Alright, one more round, come on’, he urged the others and they all turned to pick up the cards he dealt them. They had just started the game when Ji settled back down next to them. 

‘Ji!’, Beomgyu exclaimed, ‘What took you so lo- Is that ice cream?!?’ 

That caught the others’ attention immediately, four more heads snapping up to look at Jimin, who was silently unpacking six small containers of ice cream from his plastic bag. 

‘Get your eyes checked. It’s cup noodles’, he deadpanned. ‘Just add hot water and wait a few minutes.’ Yeonjun groaned at that and Kai grinned.

‘You bought us ice cream?’, he asked incredulously. 

Ice cream was a treat. While the errands and tasks they would run for local store owners and vendors along the river did bring the five of them enough to get their daily meal and enabled them to afford necessities such as scent blockers, it usually wasn’t enough for extra treats like ice cream. 

Jimin raised an eyebrow and shook his head. ‘I bought myself ice cream. It’s freaking hot today and I figured I needed something to cool down. Plus, I’m actually pretty hungry, too’, he added, eyeing the containers in front of him before picking one up and opening it. 

‘It seemed like a win-win situation to me. Eat ice cream to sate the hunger and cool down at the same time, both of my problems solved.’ 

They stared at him in disbelief. 

‘Oh’, he continued, taking a plastic spoon from his bag and savoring a spoonful of the ice cream, ‘they have a pretty good selection of flavors actually. You should go and check it out.’ 

He gestured towards the convenience store with his spoon before digging it back into the container to get another spoonful. Silence engulfed them and Jimin didn’t dare looking up from his ice cream. 

‘Ji’, Soobin began carefully, ‘are you telling us that you are going to eat six servings of ice cream all by yourself?’ 

Jimin hummed. ‘I actually didn’t have breakfast this morning and we skipped lunch because someone decided that we should go get gimbap tonight instead, so-’, he trailed off. ‘Guess I really am quite hungry right now.’ 

‘Ice cream is not a meal!’ Beomgyu exclaimed and Jimin shrugged. ‘It can be. It is for me right now. You should try it sometime.’ 

More silence followed and Jimin finally looked up only to be met with their confused stares. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he burst into laughter and gestured to the ice cream containers in front of him. 

‘Take it already’, he said, grabbing his plastic bag and taking out another five spoons, holding them out to the lot. ‘As if I’d eat that much ice cream all by myself.’ 

Beomgyu and Kai squealed in delight as they launched themselves at the cold treat, handing the containers out to the other three. 

‘Damn you and your poker face’, Yeonjun groaned before smiling. ‘Thank you, Ji!’ A chorus of thank yous followed him but Jimin just shook his head, signaling that it was ok. He should be the one thanking them, he thought as he silently watched the customer finally leave the convenience store.

-----

Yoongi woke up with a start and a muffled scream. It took him a while to find his orientation. A nightmare. It was a nightmare. Again. He took a shuddering breath, trying to calm down and stop shaking. Slowly, he reached over to turn on a light. 

Images of that awful night kept running through his head and he could practically feel those hands running all over his body again. He squeezed his eyes shut. Why couldn’t it just stop? He was so tired of not being able to sleep, so tired of constantly reliving that one specific moment, so tired of being scared, of hiding, of being lonely. 

Trying to even out his breathing, he considered moving over to the pack room. He was longing for his mates, aching for their cuddles but also way too scared to give something away and have them ask questions he couldn’t answer. No, he thought dejectedly, he couldn’t just go over and cuddle with them. Especially not after a nightmare like this. His nightmares usually returned once he fell back asleep, continuing where he had left off when waking up. He simply couldn’t risk waking up like this in the pack bed. 

Tears began rolling down his face and he turned over, burying his face in his pillow to muffle his sobs. It had been almost three weeks now since that night and he had all but lost any hope that it would ever get better. His secret was keeping him away from his mates, drawing an invisible line between him and them and with each passing day it seemed to become more and more difficult to cross it and return to what they had been before. 

All he had wanted that night was to go home and be with his mates and now here he was, unable to be with them in that way anymore at all. It was almost ironic. If only it didn’t hurt so much. His recklessness had made him lose the one thing he had wanted to protect with all his might and Yoongi didn’t think he would ever be able to recover from this blow. Not anymore. 

He had been hopeful the first few days after the incident, telling himself that he probably just needed a bit of time to readjust and come to terms with opening up to his mates. But that had never happened. Instead, every day it seemed to have become harder to talk about it to them. He had noticed his mates trying their best to reach out to him but he hadn’t known how to react to that without giving himself away. His fear had made him retreat more and more until it felt like there was an insurmountable wall between them.

Yoongi’s breath hitched. He felt like he was falling, drowning, suffocating - all at the same time. All the time. How was he supposed to ever come back from this? Feeling panic bubble up inside of him, he tried his best to keep it at bay. He couldn’t have a panic attack, it might alarm his pack to his condition and if they came over and saw him like this there was no way they would let him be until they got a full explanation from him. And Yoongi just knew that he couldn’t do that. As much as he wanted to, he just couldn’t. 

Trying to control his panic, he turned to the one thought that had been able to bring him comfort over the last few weeks.

Jimin. 

At the thought of the beta, he felt his wolf stir. Of course, he thought almost bitterly. Here he was struggling with the memories and aftermath of what happened three weeks ago and the only thing his wolf was interested in was the beta. As if Yoongi himself didn’t even matter. He knew he was being unfair, his wolf was acting purely on instinct after all and Jimin definitely mattered to his wolf. 

If he was being totally honest, he mattered to Yoongi, too. He couldn’t help but think of just how safe he had felt around the beta once his panic had subsided. Yoongi craved that feeling of safety more than anything right now and he wished with all his heart that his mates could give it to him but that just wasn’t possible under the given circumstances. 

Jimin though… 

A thought crossed his mind and Yoongi stilled. 

Jimin knew what had happened in that alley. It might have been dark but Yoongi was pretty sure that the other had read the situation correctly, especially with how careful he had been about touching Yoongi once they had reached his place. 

Yoongi exhaled slowly.

If he could see Jimin again… 

He swallowed hard. If he could see him again, maybe he would be able to talk to him about what had happened in the alley that night? The thought didn’t upset Yoongi as much as he would have expected it to. Just the idea of talking to his mates had him internally panicking but the thought of opening up about it all to Jimin was way less scary. Almost calming, really. 

Jimin knew, Yoongi thought. He wouldn’t have to explain, he wouldn’t have to be worried about not finding the right words. Jimin knew and he had been nothing but kind to Yoongi, caring and calming and offering safety. Yoongi was sure he would listen to him and understand even without Yoongi having to use many words. Jimin had been there after all. 

Jimin knew and Yoongi didn’t have to worry about his reaction, about him being angry or hurt or disappointed. Maybe he was the one person who could actually help Yoongi get out of the hellhole he had so suddenly found himself in. 

Yoongi lay still, suddenly way calmer than he had been just a few minutes ago. The thought of talking to Jimin was not only reassuring, it also sparked a little bit of hope in his heart, hope that he had almost given up on by now. 

He wasn’t sure if he could find the beta again that easily, but he had some clues to start out with at least. He knew Jimin’s name, he knew which of the bridges held the entrance to his place and he knew which side of the river to start looking for him. It wasn’t much, especially since Yoongi would never ever set foot into those sewers by himself – he wasn’t stupid after all. Those tunnels seemed like a huge maze and he definitely did not want to get lost in there. 

But still. 

It was something to get started with and if worse came to worst, Yoongi could always just spend every free minute he had sitting under the bridge in front of the entry to the sewers until at some point Jimin would show up. 

He turned to lay on his back again, calmer now that he had a plan. It might take him a few days, he did have quite a busy schedule this week, but he would find Jimin. He had to find him.

A relieved smile formed on his lips as he finally drifted off into a much needed deep and dreamless sleep.

-----

A few doors further down the hallway, the pack lay awake, huddled together and silently wondering whether they should have gone over to Yoongi’s room. It wasn’t the first night they had woken up because his anxiety and fear ebbed into their bond. But Yoongi was already pushing them away during the day whenever they tried to connect to him, he refused to talk to them and insisted that he was fine. Seeing as he also refused to spend the nights with them ever since that dreadful night, they reckoned that he didn’t want them to see him in this vulnerable state, that he had decided to hide from them until he had himself under control again. 

It was so very painful to see him like that, feeling his conflicting emotions, simultaneously longing for the pack and detaching himself from it. They had no idea how to deal with it anymore. By trying to get him to open up they had essentially driven him further away from them. Now any move forward to close the gap between them and him seemed to also hold the danger of widening the exact same gap and that was something none of them wanted. 

Everything was so tiring.

Words weren’t needed between them anymore, they had talked about the situation countless times by now, wondering what would be the right thing to do, contemplating if there was anything they could still do or should have done better. 

It was as Seokjin had told them one night, they somehow were missing something, they didn’t hold all the puzzle pieces and couldn’t see the whole picture. It had been a good metaphor, they understood what the eldest had tried to tell them with it, but it also hurt. 

It hurt that Yoongi didn’t deem them worthy enough to see the whole picture, that he didn’t want to let them in and share his pain and fears, that he apparently felt like he couldn’t talk to them anymore. 

At this point, they all felt paralyzed, fearing to lose their mate if things didn’t turn around soon. With every passing day, Yoongi seemed to be drifting further away from them, becoming more and more distant and unreachable. 

Just what on earth were they supposed to do now? Huddling closer together, they eventually fell into a restless sleep.

Chapter Text

Jimin had just settled down in his corner of the municipal library’s study room and cast a brief look around. It was still quite early in the morning, not even 11 a.m. – a time where the library usually was pretty much empty. He always made sure to come in when there were only a few people around and usually early morning hours ensured that well enough. 

Still, it was better to be safe than sorry. 

He glanced at the young woman who had come in shortly after him and settled at one of the tables at the other end of the room. She had a pile of books next to her and seemed to be pretty immersed in her readings. A student maybe, Jimin thought, deciding she probably wasn’t a threat. Not that she would be able to see what he was doing from her position anyway. As always, he had strategically placed himself at a small table in a corner of the room, with his back against the wall, library laptop in front of him. If anyone wanted to see what exactly he was doing, they would have to come and sit right next to him and he would most definitely notice if someone was about to approach him. 

Sometimes he wondered if he wasn’t being too paranoid about this. Why would anybody look for someone like him at a public library after all? It had to be one of the least suspicious places, at least in his opinion. 

Back when it had become apparent to him that he might need access to a computer on a at least semi-regular basis, he had weighed his options very carefully. There were internet cafes, of course. Lots of them actually, in a city as big as Seoul. But after taking a look at a few of them, he had quickly deemed them too unsafe. There was no telling what kind of people would hang out there and he couldn’t really make sure to shield his work from the prying eyes of other visitors. It would be too much of a risk. 

For a while he had been at a loss at what to do, but then he had mentioned wanting to use a computer to some of the riverside people and someone had told him that he could possibly try one of the municipal libraries. Which Jimin then had done, only to be met with the next obstacle. While anyone could enter the library and browse around, the staff only handed out laptops to people who actually held a library card. And to obtain one of those, one needed to provide their ID. Something Jimin for various reasons didn’t have. 

No ID, no library card, no computer access – it was a simple equation and it put a quick stop to Jimin’s attempts at using the library computers. 

He had resigned himself to continue without a computer for a while then. At least something good had come off that library visit, though – he had discovered it as a source for a lot of useful information. 

In the following weeks he returned almost daily to spend most of his time doing research, trying to memorize as much as possible, not wanting to put anything down on paper because he was afraid he might lose some pages and have them fall into the wrong hands. 

At first he had needed to ask the librarians for help in order to find the information he was looking for, but when they had noticed him coming in so regularly, one of the staff had taken some extra time to show him how to use the library catalog more efficiently. After that, Jimin had quickly become an expert at researching not only with the general catalog but also when it came to databases. 

And for once, luck had been on his side. 

His dedication to his research must have made an impression with the librarians because one day the head librarian had taken him aside and asked him whether he wouldn’t like to expand his research to the internet, pointing out that the library could provide laptops for in-house use. 

As if Jimin didn’t know that, he had thought amusedly. It was those laptops that had brought him to the library in the first place after all. 

Shaking his head, he wondered why the woman would even ask him that. He knew the staff probably had their own ideas about his living conditions judging from how they kept glancing at him, especially during the first couple of days. It wasn’t hard to miss the tell-tale signs of someone who didn’t really have a place to call home, after all. 

While Jimin always put a lot of effort into his appearance, there was only so much he could do. Worn-down clothes, even if clean, paired with an obvious lack of variety in such and self-cut hair probably implied that he was at the very least in an unstable situation. 

Not that Jimin cared much about what others thought of him. Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung had taught him early on that there was no need to be ashamed of their living conditions. It was all prejudices of self-righteous people anyway. Just because someone didn’t have a home didn’t mean that they were bad people or criminals or whatever else people liked to assume. On the contrary, many of the people living in the streets were more helpful and kind than those living the rigid society lifestyle. 

Life along Jimin’s part of the river wasn’t as bad as people liked to make it out to be. The community was always helpful, there were enough options to earn food or money for everyday needs and, in Jimin’s case, there even was an actual room for him to stay in. It was more than enough for him and he saw no reason to feel ashamed about it. Neither did most of the people he knew out there. They had managed to form their own little sub-society and they were actually quite proud of that. 

Still, he couldn’t blame the library staff for keeping an eye on him, either. While the people at his part of the river were all very friendly and helpful, that wasn’t true for every person in their situation. There were always those resorting to theft or other petty crimes who brought down the reputation of all of those living the so-called half-life in Seoul. 

He had sighed, turning to the librarian to tell her that he couldn’t apply for a library card in order to use the computers. She beat him to it, though. 

‘I know you probably can’t get a library card for whatever reasons. If you could, you most likely would have gotten one already by now. But you have been coming here for several weeks now, you always work very diligently and never cause any trouble to anyone. I’m not sure what it is you are researching but it seems very important to you. Libraries are meant as places for research and education and it wouldn’t be fair to turn down anyone who needs this service. I talked it over with my team and we wouldn’t mind letting you use one of our customer laptops if it would help you with your work’, she had said, smiling at Jimin’s obvious surprise. 

The last thing Jimin had expected was to come across the opportunity to get internet access simply by doing what he had set out to do. The irony wasn’t lost on him. 

It would solve a lot of his problems, though and so he had gratefully accepted the offer. The head librarian had shown him how to use the laptop and had handed him a flash drive, calling it a library gift and reminded him to always save his results and progress on it because the laptops would auto-delete all files saved to the hard disk when being restarted or shut-down. 

That was new but very useful information for Jimin. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about leaving traces. Between that, the flash drive and a cloud account he had created to also store his files in, he felt pretty confident that his data would be safe.

Ever since gaining access to the laptops, Jimin had made it a habit to update his files at least twice a week. He needed everything to be in order at all times after all. And that was why he was sitting here again, a few days after his discovery at the convenience store. 

He had taken some time to dig a bit deeper into that information, surveying a bit more and re-confirming his first impression and he was now very sure that his assumption was correct. Looking down at the laptop screen, he opened the internet browser and groaned inwardly. 

'BTS rumored to have next comeback in fall'

The top headline of the news page practically yelled at him and of course there was a picture of the band included as well, all of them way too good-looking. How was it possible that every single member in that group looked so gorgeous? That in itself should be considered a crime, he thought dejectedly. 

Jimin’s wolf perked up at the sight of the picture, more specifically the sight of Yoongi. Jimin himself was way less thrilled. Seriously, how could he have gone months, maybe even years without knowing anything about this group and now that he had been made aware of them he couldn’t even go half a day without being reminded of them somewhere? 

They were literally everywhere. 

Newspaper titles, magazine covers, billboard signs, commercial screens, merchandise – and if he somehow did manage to escape all of that, for sure someone in his vicinity would mention the band. 

It was like a curse. 

He had thought that he would at least be safe from them in the library but obviously he had gotten his hopes up too soon. There was literally no escaping this band. 

He sighed. Not for the first time he considered punishing the lot for making him aware of these idols. They seriously hadn’t done him any favor with that. Every single time he saw something related to them, his wolf immediately got giddy over Yoongi and Jimin was more than done dealing with that. It also didn’t help that he genuinely liked the few songs by them he had heard so far, be it in stores or from commercial screens. Not only did the lyrics carry deeper meaning, something he really valued in music, but the melodies were also very catchy and made him want to dance. 

And that, he thought bitterly, was probably the biggest problem of it all. Jimin had loved dancing as a child, always looking forward to his dance lessons and dreaming of dancing on a big stage someday. But it was never meant to happen. He had buried that dream a long time ago, along with many others, but listening to those songs had awakened a yearning in him that he hadn’t felt in years. He really didn’t know what to make of that, he hadn’t felt the urge to dance ever since – he couldn’t even remember since when. 

Or maybe he didn’t want to remember. It had been such a long time. What was he even supposed to do about that urge? Just dance publicly in front of some commercial screen in the middle of the street or in a shop that happened to play a BTS song? Way to draw attention to himself, he thought with a wry smile. 

And it wasn’t like he had access to anything that would let him play music at his place, plus, even if he did – He paused, contemplating. Would he dare try? What if it brought back unwanted memories, something he couldn’t cope with? He had worked so hard to get to where he was today, he was so close to finally finishing what he had started years ago. Would it be worth it to risk all of that just for a fleeting moment with the ghost of a memory? 

There was no room for dancing in his life anymore, it was a figment of his past. And it was best for the past to stay in the past. Shaking his head to clear away his thoughts, he went to access his cloud data and pulled up the map to mark the location of the convenience store on it. 

There was no time to dwell on the past or be gloomy about annoying idol bands, he had a mission to work on.

-----

Finding Jimin again was, as it turned out, not easy at all. This was already the fourth time Yoongi went back to the riverside trying to look for the beta. By now he had begun feeling a bit more at ease walking around that area by himself, too. 

The first day had been the worst, he remembered with a sigh. 

After a more or less fruitless day spent lost in thoughts in his studio, he had given up on being able to do anything productive at around 3 p.m. and picked up his new phone to text his mates. The first thing they had actually done after learning about him being attacked was to go out and get him a new phone. 

They almost had forced a second one on him, too, just in case he damaged this one again, so he would always have a spare to contact them. It had made him laugh but he had drawn a line at that, telling them that one phone was more than enough and that he would make sure to keep it safe from now on. 

Sending a quick message to their group chat, telling the pack that he needed some alone time and would go on a walk and promising that he would be back home before nightfall, he had made his way out of his studio and slowly began to make his way towards the river. 

It was only when he was getting closer to the actual river area, that he began to feel more and more uneasy. It was kind of ridiculous, he thought to himself. There were people milling about, lots of people, it was broad daylight. Nothing was going to happen to him. Not even the company had problems with them being out during the day after all. 

Still – he just couldn’t help it, he didn’t feel safe like this. Looking around a bit, he spotted a convenience store and an idea hit him. 

He made his way inside, searching for a while before he found what he had been looking for. Refusing a bag, he paid for the lighter and firecrackers, unpacking them on his way out. Jimin had said they were a good emergency defense. And he had apparently used them to save Yoongi in that alley, so Yoongi could absolutely see his point. He put the firecrackers and the lighter into the pockets of his jacket and smiled to himself. Jimin wasn’t wrong, he guessed. He did feel somewhat safer knowing the firecrackers were there. 

With renewed confidence he had resumed his walk to the river to find Jimin.

Only, he hadn’t found Jimin that day and it definitely hadn’t been for lack of trying. He had been walking up and down the river for almost three hours, hoping to somehow spot the beta among the people milling around there but he had had no success. 

Eventually, he had settled down on a bench close to the riverbank and contemplated what to do next. He could always try to wait for Jimin in front of the entrance to his place. But that would mean exposing himself in a rather unpopulated area at the river. What if he drew attention to himself? As much as he wanted to find Jimin again, he absolutely did not want to risk a repeat of any sort of the events of that night back then. 

It had only been a day and he hadn’t expected to find Jimin again that easily anyway. Maybe he should just try again tomorrow, give himself some time. Waiting under Jimin’s bridge would definitely be his last resort, he decided. 

Sighing, he stood up. It would be getting dark soon, he needed to go back home. There was no way he was going to stay out by himself after nightfall. After looking around the area one more time in hopes of seeing the beta in the crowd, he turned and left. He would just have to come back tomorrow then. 

And come back, he did. The following day and the day after that as well. But the beta was nowhere to be found. It was almost as if he didn’t exist at all. 

On the second day, a thought had crossed his mind. Maybe he could actually ask around if anyone knew Jimin? He remembered that Jimin had talked to some people under that one bridge that night. He still wasn’t sure what exactly had transpired there but they seemed to have been on friendly terms. So maybe Jimin knew some people at the river? 

Probably some of the homeless people, he thought. He had seen some of them along the river yesterday and they seemed to be quite peaceful. Surely there would be no harm in asking? Even if they weren’t going to share Jimin’s whereabouts with him, maybe they could at least pass on a message to him? He would try that starting tomorrow, he decided. 

Maybe it would also be good to switch up the time of day he went looking for Jimin. Maybe Jimin was just busy or perhaps even sleeping in the afternoon. So he decided to switch things up a bit from now on, too. 

But going to the river at noon on day three and asking around for Jimin had made no difference at all. Even though he had stayed until late afternoon yet again, his search had remained unsuccessful. 

The people he asked had been friendly enough but none of them had been able to help him. Or maybe they hadn’t wanted to help him, he wasn’t all that sure which one of those two options was the correct one. 

All of this was why he was here again on day four, at 8 a.m. this time, an ungodly hour if anyone were to ask him. He’d never get up this early in the morning voluntarily, not when there were no schedules to attend and he could actually sleep in. But these were special circumstances after all, he really needed to find Jimin. Determined to be successful today, he picked up his search again.

-----

The pack was beginning to feel more and more restless. Things with Yoongi just weren’t getting any better. Shouldn’t he have moved on by now? They understood that being attacked must have been a shocking experience but it has been almost four weeks now and nothing had changed at all. He still didn’t join them in the pack bed and he even had stopped having meals with them at some point. 

And now there was this new development. 

For four days in a row now Yoongi had taken some time off to go out and take walks, hourlong walks at that, and that was absolutely not like him at all. 

Firstly, Yoongi really wasn’t much into physical activity. He already complained about dance practice and working out and he was usually all for just staying home whenever one of them suggested going out. 

And secondly, he usually had to be pried away from his studio. Once he even had forgotten their date night because he was so absorbed in working on a new track. They practically had to break into his studio and drag him out of there that time. 

Not that they had regretted doing so, it had ended up being one of the most perfect nights. They were also very sure that Yoongi didn’t regret having been pulled out of his studio either considering how the night had gone from relaxed and cozy to steaming hot and then so very soft. As much as they usually tried not to interrupt Yoongi and to give him as much personal space as he needed, that was one night that had been worth breaking their own rules for. 

Either way, now Yoongi had begun spending less and less time not only in his studio but also in their apartment, the two places they knew for sure were his preferred safe places. The first time he had texted their group chat telling them he needed some alone time away from everything and would take a walk, they had been surprised but thought nothing of it. Maybe he just wanted to clear his mind or something. But then he had left again the next day at around the same time. The third time it had happened, he had already texted them around noon, still staying out until late afternoon, just like the two previous days. 

Almost six hours. That had been the first time they had actually begun to feel a bit uneasy about this new habit. And then there was today, the fourth day. 

Yoongi had never been one to get up early voluntarily and whenever one of them tried to get him to join them for their early breakfast on their mornings off they just got a grumpy rejection. And yet, today Yoongi had been up at 7 a.m., not even bothering to join them and declaring that he would take a walk and would probably be in the studio around noon to work on some songs later today. 

Now that was a first, Namjoon thought. Yoongi usually couldn't be bothered with anything in the mornings, needing some time to fuel up for the day. He would of course always do whatever their schedules had planned for them but him leaving the house to go on a walk in the early morning out of his own free will was something that hadn't happened before as far as Namjoon could remember. 

The rest of the pack had looked at each other over the breakfast table once Yoongi had left their apartment. 

'You don't think he is avoiding us?' Taehyung asked. 

Silence fell over them. They didn’t really want to believe that, but it was a fact that Yoongi hadn’t spent much time with them at all ever since that dreadful night several weeks ago. By now he had even stopped joining them for meals and coming in to join them for cuddles in the evenings before going to sleep in his own room. He had done so the first week or so, but it had gradually stopped and they had no idea what to make of that. 

It affected them more than they would have thought, too. There was just something wrong about waking up time and time again with one of them missing in the pack bed. Yes, they all did withdraw to their own rooms from time to time, sometimes alone, sometimes with someone else. But they never stayed away for this long, it usually was just a night or two at most. Yoongi not sleeping in a room with them anymore was something that unsettled all of them deeply. If only they could do something about it. 

But they didn’t know what else to try anymore. They had tried their usual tactics, but Yoongi had kept shutting them out. They had then proceeded to try to talk to him directly, telling him they were worried and asking what was wrong. Each one of them had taken their turn, trying to draw Yoongi out of his shell, telling him they could see he wasn’t ok and encouraging him to talk to them. 

But every single time Yoongi had just told them that he was alright and not to worry about him. That he just needed some time for himself right now. And in the past, they had always accepted his wish for private space but this time, it seemed different. His voice didn’t match the words he said. He had never stayed away from them for so long and ever since he had opened up to them about his past he had never shut them out completely again. 

They hated that he was pushing them away but not knowing what else to do and afraid to drive him away even further, they had gradually stopped reaching out to him, too. There were so many unspoken words now, even everyday conversation was becoming harder and harder and the silence between them and Yoongi began to echo more and more hopelessly. 

And thus, Taehyung’s question seemed valid. 

Was Yoongi avoiding them? 

Taehyung had just voiced what all of them had asked themselves in silence before. They didn’t want to believe it, but with each passing day it became harder to stay positive. 

‘I really don’t know. I don’t want to believe that but he doesn’t seem to want to be around us anymore, so I don’t know what to think…’, Jin sighed. 

‘It can’t still be about that night he was attacked, right? It’s been nearly four weeks, surely he would have talked to us by now if it was about that?’, Hoseok wondered. 

They fell silent again at that. If it was about the attack, Yoongi would have talked to them, they were sure of that. Plus, he had told them that he was fine, just a bit shaken up and that it was nothing that cuddling with his pack couldn’t fix. So there had to be another reason for him to avoid them now, right? 

The silence stretched on. There really wasn’t anything to say about this anymore, they all knew, Namjoon thought. That one night had screwed things up, had unsettled their pack dynamics, had driven them apart from one of their mates and it was taking a toll on all of them. He could feel their bond thrumming with frustration a lot recently, especially when the topic of Yoongi came up.

‘He’s been going for walks a lot. That’s not like him at all. Where would he even go? He doesn’t really enjoy physical activity’, he mused. 

‘What if he is meeting someone?’, Jungkook asked. They looked at him. ‘You know’, he said, ‘that morning he returned, when he was about to tell us what had happened and he suddenly behaved so weirdly. First he was all agitated  and nervous and then he was suddenly smiling to himself and almost looked giddy. He rarely ever looks like that and then he did just after what had happened? And that mood change was really strange, too. Do you remember how the bond was flooded with nervousness and then suddenly he seemed so calm and content?’ 

Jungkook paused, waiting to see if the others could follow his trail of thought. 

Jin looked at him. ‘He mentioned someone had helped him that night. What was his name again?’ 

‘Jimin’, Taehyung all but spat out. This was something he couldn’t forget about. ‘He smiled when you asked him if he knew who he was. His cute gummy smile. He fell asleep thinking of him and he was smiling, despite everything that had happened.’ 

Everyone fell silent at that. Was Yoongi seeing this Jimin person? Was that why he was ignoring them? Jealousy made its way across their bond and they tried hard to reign it in so as to not let it be noticed by Yoongi. 

‘You think he is replacing us’, Jin whispered. 

‘Maybe not willingly’, Namjoon mused. ‘Maybe he feels indebted to that person for saving him. Maybe they figured out who he is and are taking advantage of him. Yoongi-hyung is too nice and caring for his own good sometimes. He probably wouldn’t even notice if someone was to take advantage of him.’ 

That sounded probable to all of them. 

‘But then, what do we do? He’s already shutting us out, there’s no way he would listen to us at this point’, Taehyung pointed out. 

They pondered their options. There had to be something they could do. 

‘Well, if he wants to ignore us; if someone else is better for him, then maybe we should do the same. Maybe he will realize how much he misses us when we aren’t showering him with attention anymore’, Hoseok concluded eventually. 

The others looked at him. 

‘You mean we should try showing him the cold shoulder as well?’, Namjoon clarified. 

Jin hummed. ‘It’s not the worst idea I guess? I mean reaching out to him obviously doesn’t work so maybe he needs to miss us in order to come back to us.’ 

They thought about that for a while. Somehow it made sense and it really was the only thing they hadn’t tried yet. 

‘At least if we do that, we should know soon whether he still cares for us or not’, Taehyung said. ‘He’ll either reach out or leave.’ 

Pain flared through their bond at the thought of Yoongi leaving them. That really wasn’t what they wanted, they would try anything to get him to stay. 

Namjoon sighed. ‘Let’s have a vote then. Everyone in favor of trying this, put your hands up.’ 

Five hands went up without hesitation.

They looked at each other. 

‘Alright. We’ll give this a try then. Let’s just hope he isn’t too infatuated with this Jimin person and will realize how much he misses us’, Jin said. 

The others nodded. They wouldn’t just let Yoongi go without a fight. 

‘Why couldn’t he just have stayed over at the studio that goddamn night? I wish he had never been that reckless, I wish he had never met this Jimin person’, Jungkook said bitterly. 

‘Me, too, Kook-ah’, Namjoon replied dejectedly, ‘me, too.’ 

And one by one, the others nodded to that. 

-----

Haneul watched Soobin’s group approach the riverside community with a fond look on his face. Ji had done a great job helping them find their footing around here. The runts had really grown into reliable members of their group, even if they still refused to live with them. 

Not that he could blame them. It was obvious that they had latched on to Ji the moment he had solved the situation under the bridge. He had quickly become their person of trust, they looked up to him a lot and Haneul was pretty sure that they saw him as their family. Ji had done a lot for them back then, more than Haneul would have thought possible regarding his circumstances at the time. 

When it had become apparent that the group would not lay off Ji that easily he had been worried for a while, fearing they would overbear him after everything he went through. But they had been surprisingly good at navigating his moods and dealing with his closed off persona and somehow their dynamics seemed to work just fine. 

It was a good thing Ji had stepped in back then, Haneul thought. Back when the group had first shown up and done so much damage to their small community, he had been ready to chase them off their grounds, too angry to think straight. His community had taken damage in a way they would never have expected and all he could think of at the time was that he had to protect it at all costs. This was the only home most of the people here knew and seeing it being raided and recklessly damaged had set all of them on the edge very quickly. 

They had failed to notice the exhausted and malnourished state these kids had been in, failed to notice that they weren’t yelling at them in order to pick a fight but because they were scared out of their minds. They had been too intent on driving their point across to realize that there probably was more to the situation, a reason for the kids to have acted the way they did. 

If Ji hadn’t stepped in back then they probably would have driven the kids away, leaving them to who knows what fate would have awaited them out there. 

He sighed. Of course Ji had noticed that the kids hadn’t acted out of spite but because they had been desperate and scared. He had always been very perceptive and empathic, they all had noticed that quickly after Junseo and Hajun had taken him in. 

He had been so broken and scared back then, though. 

From time to time, Haneul wondered just what exactly Ji was carrying around with him; what had made him become so wary of opening up to others and letting them in, when he was obviously such a caring person at heart. 

Haneul suspected that he had told Junseo and Hajun at least part of his story, seeing as the two of them had been the ones to take him in and helped him to slowly put himself back together. He knew that Ji trusted those two more than anyone else in their community. But neither of the two men had ever breathed a word about it to the rest of them and none of the community members would ever pry. Not that they could even do that now anyway, Haneul thought dejectedly. 

‘Yah, don’t space out on us, old man! Are you trying to act like Ji now or what?’ Beomgyu’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. He sighed good-naturedly. The disrespect of kids nowadays. 

‘That’s hyung to you, brat’, he said and wasn’t surprised when the group burst out laughing. They really were loud, Ji had a point there, he thought bemused. But it was nice to see them like that and he wouldn’t stop them from being carefree teens unless it was absolutely necessary. He guessed that this was something he and Ji both silently agreed upon. 

‘Anything you need us to do today?’ 

He turned to Soobin, contemplating. The group always made sure to ask whether the community needed anything before going about their own daily business and oftentimes he actually had something to ask of them. Today though, he figured they were fine. Although, come to think of it – there had been a rumor going around the community these past few days and maybe the teens would be interested in checking up on it. They probably would have an easier time getting people to talk to them than Haneul himself or any of the other people in the community. 

‘I wonder’, he began, ‘if you’d be up to do some detective work.’ 

It really was easy to catch their attention, he thought as he watched their eyes lighting up with excitement. 

‘Detective work? What do we do? Stalk somebody?’, Kai exclaimed. 

‘No stalking, at least not yet. There has been a rumor going around about some strange guy roaming the river, asking questions and apparently looking for someone named Jimin or something like that. I doubt you know anyone by that name?’ 

They shook their heads. 

‘Weird’, Yeonjun muttered but he could see why this might be concerning for the community. If there was someone hanging out at the riverside whom they didn’t know and that person had other people looking for them, it could mean trouble for the whole community. 

‘So you want us to find out more about that?’, Soobin clarified. 

‘If you can. But be careful, we don’t know anything about that person. If there’s any indication he’s a Viper, back off immediately.’ 

They nodded. Nobody wanted to have to deal with Vipers after all.

‘We’ll see what we can do’, Soobin said. 

‘See you later, old man’, Taehyun grinned and Haneul had to bite back a laugh, trying hard to look offended as he watched them make their way down the river. Even if they weren’t to find out anything, he was sure the group would have a field day with this task.

-----

Detective work was fun, Kai thought. He had already enjoyed the distraction they had run for Ji that one night and now they were doing something thrilling again. Soobin and Yeonjun had quickly decided that they should go about this systematically, making their way around the riverside community and its adjusting areas, first talking to everyone they knew. With those people they could talk freely and maybe they would find someone who had seen or talked to the guy or at least knew someone who had done so. 

So far, they hadn’t learned all that much, though. The best pointer they had gotten had been from one of the street food vendors who told them that one of his colleagues from across the river had mentioned seeing the guy over there. 

On their side of the river. They had looked at each other at that. If someone was roaming around on their side, they better find out what was going on soon. There was only them and Ji residing on that riverside so if anything was to go down there, they couldn’t exactly count on their strength in numbers and getting back-up from the other side would take some time. 

Taking Haneul’s task even more serious now, they made their way back across the river and resumed their questioning. 

‘It seems like everyone knows something but at the same time nobody knows anything', Beomgyu complained after they had gotten the exact same information for what felt like the hundredth time. 

‘It’s so frustrating’, Yeonjun growled, kicking a stone that was lying in his path. 

‘That’s not the stones fault! You can’t just take your frustration out on an innocent stone!’, Taehyun teased him, trying to lighten the mood and they laughed. 

‘Alright, let’s recap what we know’, Soobin said, moving over to a tree and settling under it. The others followed suit. 

‘Someone has been asking for a person called Jimin for at least two days now’, Yeonjun began. 

‘He’s apparently wearing a face mask and sunglasses, so nobody can tell us what exactly he looks like’, Beomgyu added. 

‘Some people noticed him in the afternoons but a few have mentioned that they saw him around noon yesterday’, Kai concluded. 

They fell silent for a moment. That wasn’t a lot to go on, Taehyun mused. Unless… 

‘We’re idiots’, he shouted, smacking a hand to his forehead. The others looked at him.

‘Speak for yourself’, Kai muttered, ‘I, for one, am not an idiot.’ 

Taehyun shook his head. 

‘No, listen. He’s around between noon and late afternoon, he wears a face mask and sunglasses, he asks questions about a person nobody knows and apparently he asks just about anyone.’ 

Soobin’s eyes widened. 

‘Of course’, he exclaimed. ‘All we have to do is hang out in one of the areas he has been seen a lot and we might either spot him or be approached by him!’ 

Taehyun nodded excitedly. ‘Exactly! We can just hang out and play cards while keeping an eye out for him and we should be able to find him sooner or later. Unless of course he already found that mysterious Jimin but we wouldn’t know about that. It’s still so early in the morning, if we find a good spot now, we can just wait until noon and see what happens.’ 

And that was exactly what they had done. Now they were comfortably sitting in the grass in the middle of the small riverside park, playing cards and waiting for noon to come around so they could return to their investigation. 

They were in the middle of another Kai and Taehyun quarrel about the possibilities and non-possibilities of cheating in a game like Eights when a voice startled them. 

‘I’m sorry to interrupt your game, but I was wondering if any of you might know a beta called Jimin who lives in this area?’  

Startled, they looked up from their game, taking in the man in front of him. There really wasn’t much to see, though. 

He wasn’t tall, maybe about Ji’s height if he had to guess, Yeonjun mused. But that was about all he could say about the man. His face was fully covered with a face mask and sunglasses, just like they had been told by the witnesses they had talked to before. 

They stared at him for a few seconds, not sure what to say. Nobody had mentioned the guy being around the area before noon so they were a bit caught off guard. 

Although it did make sense that he would switch up his time pattern if he was looking for somebody, Soobin mused. They really should have considered that. 

He sighed. ‘And what if we do?’ That earned him a bewildered look from Beomgyu. ‘Who is asking, anyway?’, he continued, not really expecting an answer to that question but also not willing to let on that they didn’t know anything before getting something from that guy. 

‘If you do, please just tell him that Yoongi would like to see him again’, the man replied. 

They stared at him, open-mouthed. 

Oh.

-----

‘We don’t know any Jimin but we’ll see what we can do. Come back here in the late afternoon. We’ll be somewhere around, you probably will find us easily’, they told Yoongi.

‘He’s not a threat, he’s really just looking for someone who helped him out a while ago and he doesn't seem to have gotten his name correctly. There’s no need to worry, we have an idea of who it might have been and will try to help him’, they told Haneul.

‘You should take better care of your rap star, he’s going to get himself into trouble again’, they told Ji. 

‘Huh?’ Jimin was never sure what to expect next from the lot but this one was so out of context that he felt like he was missing something. Why were they looking at him like predators eyeing their prey? 

They stared at him, inquisitively. 

‘Ji’, Soobin said, narrowing his eyes at him, ‘as in Jimin?’ 

Jimin groaned inwardly. Really now? He knew blurting out his real name to Yoongi on a whim would come back to haunt him someday. 

‘You were saying something about Yoongi’, he stated flatly. 

‘Oh yeah’, Beomgyu eyed him like a hawk, ‘he actually came to talk to us.’ 

‘I seriously wonder how he managed to avoid attracting the attention of Vipers’, Taehyun muttered. 

‘Probably was just lucky, seems to be a pattern with him’, Kai mused. 

Jimin rolled his eyes at them and sighed. ‘Stop talking in riddles and tell me what you’re on about already.’ 

‘Haneul asked us to check into some rumors about somebody going around and asking for a person called Jimin these past few days’, Soobin started. 

Jimin didn’t miss the way their eyes narrowed at him again at the mention of the name. 

‘Although a lot of people talked to him, nobody could give us much information since he made sure to cover up his face. So we decided to just hang out where he had been seen a lot and wait if he would approach us, too.’ 

Yoongi had been looking for him? Jimin wasn’t sure what to think about this. Why would he do that?

‘Imagine our surprise when he told us to tell this Jimin person that Yoongi wanted to see him again’, Yeonjun concluded with piercing eyes. 

They all stared at him. Jimin knew it was the name that had them rattled, it was quite obvious. It also was kind of hilarious to watch. He contemplated. Should he tell them the truth or tell a little white lie? 

He had been too scared to tell anyone his real name back when he arrived at the river, afraid authorities might be looking for him, not wanting to leave any traces that could lead to them tracking him down. Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung were the only ones who knew his full name, for everyone else he had simply become Ji. 

But all that was back when he had still been a minor and didn’t want to risk being reported on. It was different now, he was 21 years old, an adult, and nobody could turn him over to authorities. Unless he committed a crime, he thought darkly. 

Either way, there really wasn’t any reason to keep his name a secret from the lot. Jimin might not be comfortable with everyone knowing it, but he told Yoongi, who was literally a total stranger to him while the lot, who probably were the people closest to him, still didn’t know. 

He knew if he were to ask them to keep quiet about it to the rest of the community, they would. They could be trusted with something like that. And didn’t they deserve knowing his name? After all, they had never even hesitated to tell him their names.

Although he would miss them calling him Ji, he thought wistfully.

He looked at them, returning their stares with a vacant expression. 

‘So’, he began, carefully keeping his face blank, ‘did you tell him?’ 

That seemed to confuse them. ‘Huh?’, Kai muttered. ‘Tell who what?’ 

Jimin sighed. ‘Didn’t you just tell me that Yoongi was looking for someone called Jimin and asked you to pass on a message to him? So I’m wondering, did you find him and deliver the message? Or do you need help looking for him? Is Jimin even a guy? You know Jimin can be a girl’s name, too, right? Did you clarify that?’ 

The lots’ eyes had grown wider with every question Jimin shot at them. He just couldn’t resist the temptation, it was way too much fun to mess with them. Trying his hardest to keep a straight face, he raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side, waiting for them to answer him.

‘Wait, but we thought-‘, Beomgyu began and then stopped, not sure how to continue. They shared a look. 

‘You thought?’, Jimin prompted, eyes narrowing as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

‘Well’, Soobin hesitated, ‘you know since you were with Yoongi that night and we call you Ji and that’s the first syllable in Jimin-‘, he trailed off. 

Jimin stared at them in disbelief. ‘Let me get this straight. You thought because I go by Ji and have met Yoongi before this Jimin person he was looking for was me? Isn’t that a bit too far-fetched? Why would he even look for me in the first place? Also, a lot of names start with Ji. Let’s see, there’s Jimin, Jihyun, Jinho, Jisoo, Jinsu,  Jihoon, Jinwoo, Jinyoung, Ji-’

‘Ok, ok, we get it’, Yeonjun interrupted him, rolling his eyes. ‘Maybe we jumped to this conclusion a bit too quickly.' 

‘That’s definitely a possibility’, Jimin agreed, watching as they deflated and shared a look with each other. ‘And yet you aren't wrong.’ 

It took a moment for his words to register but when they finally sank in, they stared at him. 

He smiled. 

‘You’re right, Ji stands for Jimin. I’m sorry I didn't tell you before, it never crossed my mind. I kept it a secret back when I arrived here at the river because I was still a minor and scared that authorities might be looking for me. So I decided to go by Ji. When I met you, I was already off-age but everyone around here knew me as Ji and introducing myself as that had become second nature.’ 

‘You told Yoongi, though’, Soobin pointed out.

Jimin grimaced. ‘It slipped out. I’m not sure why. It had been a stressful night and I was dead tired. Believe me, I shocked myself when he asked for my name and I answered with my real one.’ 

They snickered at that thought. 

‘You didn’t have to tell us, you know?’, Yeonjun asked, feeling slightly guilty for pushing Jimin so far.

‘I know, but I wanted to. You deserve to know. Just please don’t tell anyone else. I’m not sure how I would feel about everyone suddenly knowing my real name.’

‘Of course not, we promise that. You can trust us’, Soobin said and the rest of them nodded. 

‘I know’, Jimin replied and when he saw their eyes light up at that he thought that yes, he had made the right decision.  

‘So-‘, Kai fidgeted, glancing at the others and then over at Jimin, ‘I know you just told us your real name and I mean we are really happy you did that and we promise we won’t tell anyone but like, you know-‘, he took a deep breath. ‘Can we still call you Ji?’ 

Jimin smiled, a big, earnest smile, one they hadn’t seen often, his eyes turning into crescents and almost disappearing. 

‘I would love that.’

-----

Yoongi had been nervous ever since he had talked to those kids at the river park. He hadn’t expected anything when he had approached them, having only gotten negative replies to his inquiries over the last few days but he refused to give up. 

He hadn’t seen the kids before, he was sure of that, so he had figured it was at least worth a shot. They had seemed a bit weirded out about him approaching them but when they didn’t react to Jimin’s name at all he had resigned himself to another negative answer. 

What he hadn’t expected was the snarky retort and the startled expressions on their faces when he had told them his name. And he most certainly hadn’t expected to be told to come back later in the afternoon. Did they actually know Jimin? Or were they trying to find Jimin for him without knowing him? He wasn’t sure if they were playing him or not but for some reason he felt like they had been genuine when they had told him they would see what they could do for him. 

It probably wouldn’t be dangerous for him to go back to the river and meet them, there were lots of people around even in the late afternoon, he knew that much from his previous visits there. He would just have to make sure not to leave the populated areas when being around the kids. If they really knew where Jimin was or could find the beta for him, he couldn’t pass up on that chance. 

So at about a quarter to five in the afternoon he found himself in the park again, sitting on a bench somewhere close to the center, observing his surroundings and waiting for the teens to show up. If they even did show up, he mused. Maybe they were just having some fun with him. You never knew with kids these days after all. 

Or maybe they had missed each other already. Late afternoon was a pretty unspecific time range after all. Maybe he should have come earlier? He was so lost in thought, that he didn’t realize someone had approached him until they were standing right in front of him. He looked up and stared. 

‘Jimin’, he breathed. 

The beta glared at him. 

‘You really need to learn how to be more careful, Yoongi-ssi.’

Chapter Text

Yoongi did barely have any time to react when Jimin’s hand snapped forward and tore the sunglasses from his face. 

‘What the hell were you thinking?’, he hissed at the stunned alpha. Yoongi blinked in confusion.

‘Do you think I went through all the trouble of saving you that night, sacrificing my firecrackers for you and getting chased by fucking Vipers just so that you can go and present yourself to them on a silver platter once again? Wasn’t what happened that night enough for you? Don’t you have any common sense?’ 

Jimin was angry. He couldn’t believe this. Hadn’t Yoongi learned anything at all from that horrible experience? Why would he willingly put himself on the spot again? He couldn’t be as dumb as to believe that he wouldn’t attract any attention if he walked around all suspicious looking, asking questions about somebody for days on end in an area bordering on Viper territory, right? 

Or could he? Jimin dimly remembered that he had wondered whether Yoongi was really dumb or simply had a secret wish to get mugged the night of the assault, too. He looked at Yoongi who was staring at him with wide, confused eyes. 

‘Do you have any idea at all what could have happened? Do you even know what I’m talking about right now?’ 

Yoongi shook his head, not sure what Jimin was so angry about in the first place. This was not how he had imagined meeting the beta again would turn out to be. 

Jimin stared at him in disbelief. ‘Really dumb it is then. At least it’s not some weird rescue kink’, he muttered to himself before focusing on Yoongi again, eyes piercing into those of the alpha. 

‘This area is adjoining Viper territory, Yoongi-ssi. What do you think would happen if a gang powerful enough to control almost half the districts of this city got word about a mysterious stranger who refuses to show his face roaming the neighboring area and asking questions?’ 

Even with his mask still on, Jimin could see Yoongi pale at that. Quite an accomplishment considering his already very pale complexion, he thought wryly. He continued, speaking quietly but fervently. 

‘Let me tell you what would have happened. They would have considered that person a possible threat, looking for them until they found them, bringing them in so they could interrogate them about their motives. And by that I do not mean simple questioning. They have their ways of making people talk. What do you think would have happened if they had realized that said person was a member of the most sought-after boyband of the country? Do you think they would have just let you go? Do you have any idea just how dangerous this could have been for you? And that’s not even all.'

He took a deep breath, unable to keep his frustration and worry in check.

'For fuck's sake, Yoongi-ssi! The guys who attacked you that night were Vipers, too. Does that give you any idea of what they would have been capable of doing to you if they had gotten their hands on you?’ 

Yoongi’s face fell. Up until now he had been doing a good job at keeping himself together but this sentence seemed to have been the last straw for him. Jimin watched as tears welled up in his eyes. 

Damn it, he thought. He hadn’t wanted to be insensitive but he had just been so angry. Yoongi had been freaking reckless! So much could have happened to him. He didn’t even want to begin to think of it. Yoongi needed to understand just how risky and dangerous his actions had been so something like this wouldn’t happen ever again. 

But seeing Yoongi like this now, visibly fighting to keep his composure after Jimin’s last words, he felt his anger ebb away. He understands, Jimin thought. Even if he had had no clue before, he understands now. Sighing, he sat down next to Yoongi on the bench, looking at him inquisitively. 

‘You had no idea’, he said quietly. 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘I-‘, his voice broke and he stopped, silently shaking his head again. 

‘Yeah’, Jimin mused, ‘it’s a lot to take in, huh?’ 

Yoongi nodded dimly. 

‘You were hiding your face so people don't recognize you?’ 

Another nod. 

Jimin could at least understand where Yoongi was coming from with that action. Not everyone was as ignorant as he himself when it came to recognizing famous people after all. It must be quite a strain to be recognized by strangers all the time. Still, there were better, less conspicuous ways to disguise yourself around here. 

‘Take off that face mask’, he said and at Yoongi’s startled look he added: ‘We best get rid of all traces of that disguise on you. People have been talking, you know. About the mysterious stranger asking questions without ever showing his face. We can’t risk you looking anything like that. I’ll help you find a less suspicious disguise if you want to, but take it off now, ok?’ 

Yoongi stayed quiet as he took off the mask, crumbling it in his hands. 

Jimin took in a sharp breath. Yoongi looked horribly drained. He had been panicked and scared that night Jimin had saved him and he had been dead tired when Jimin had walked him home, but still, he had looked way better than this. There had been life in his eyes. 

Something is wrong, he thought, as he took in the alpha’s slumped shoulders, the dark circles under Yoongi’s eyes, his almost ashen complexion, sunken cheeks and worst of all, the dull look in his eyes.

Shit. 

Something was very wrong.

How hadn’t he noticed before scolding Yoongi that the other wasn’t doing well in the first place? Surely the lecturing could have waited a while. 

He saw Yoongi fidget with the mask he still held in his hands and sighed. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get off on you like that. I was just worried, I guess.’ 

Yoongi didn’t look at him. ‘It’s fine’, he said dimly. ‘I didn’t know what I was doing.’ 

Jimin snorted. ‘That much was obvious.’ 

They fell silent for a moment. 

‘I’m not mad at you, if that’s what you’re worried about’, Jimin said. 

Yoongi looked up. Jimin smirked.

‘Well, maybe I was, a little bit. It’s not your fault, though. You idol types are way too sheltered.’ 

To his surprise, Yoongi nodded at that. ‘Tell me about it. I hate being babied all the time and not being able to do stuff everyone else does just because it isn’t safe.’ 

Jimin raised an eyebrow. ‘No offense, Yoongi-ssi, but from what I have seen so far everything you do is unsafe so your company might have a point there.’ 

‘I’m trying’, Yoongi said. ‘It’s just hard. We never get to do anything on our own anymore.’ 

He looked deflated. Jimin pondered what he just heard for a moment. It must be hard to always be in the spotlight, to be told what you can or can’t do, where you can or can’t go, who you can or can’t associate with. For a brief moment he wondered what Yoongi’s company would say if they knew Yoongi was with someone like him right now. Then he decided that he didn’t care. And neither should Yoongi. The alpha needed some cheering up. He jumped up and grinned at Yoongi, reaching out a hand to him. 

‘Come on’, he urged the surprised alpha, eyes sparkling when Yoongi reached out to grab his hand and stand up as well. 

‘Where are we going?’, he asked. 

‘You’ll see. Just trust me. Think you can do that?’ 

Yoongi nodded. Yes, he thought. He didn’t even really know the beta, but for whatever strange reason he was sure that he could trust him.

-----

The first place Jimin took Yoongi was a small street market just a little down the road, away from the river park. Dragging the other with him, he beelined to the vendor he had in mind. 

‘Ji’, the elderly man greeted him with a friendly smile. ‘Nice timing. There’s a few things I’d need delivered tomorrow, think you could do it? I’ll pay the usual.’ 

Jimin hummed. ‘That’s perfect, actually. I was going to ask for errands. I’m free in the morning if that works.’ The elder nodded. 

‘Instead of payment, could I pick something from you?’, Jimin asked. ‘I’d need it right away, though.’

The man nodded again. ‘What’ll it be?’

Jimin shrugged. ‘He’ll choose’, he pointed at Yoongi. 

Yoongi was startled. He what? 

Jimin grinned at him. ‘Didn’t you want to do things on your own more? We’ll start here. Pick a snapback’, he gestured towards a row of neatly displayed snapbacks.

Confused, Yoongi turned to take a closer look, contemplating for a little while before hesitatingly picking up a black one. 

Jimin smirked. ‘I’m not even surprised’, he said, pointedly looking at Yoongi’s all black attire. 

The vendor got out a hand mirror and urged Yoongi to try the snapback on. Jimin’s wolf cheered at the sight and Jimin begrudgingly had to admit that Yoongi did look damn good with that cap. 

‘You like it?’, he asked and Yoongi nodded, reaching for his wallet. Jimin slapped his hand, grinned at him and turned to the vendor with a questioning look.

‘Take it’, the elder said. 

Jimin smiled. ‘Thank you! I’ll be here in the morning for those deliveries.’ 

He grabbed Yoongi’s arm and before the other could say anything, he steered him to a quiet corner of the market. 

‘There you go, a perfectly unsuspicious disguise’, Jimin grinned at Yoongi, reaching for the snapback to twist it around, putting the visor in the front and tucking it down a bit so it would partly cover Yoongi’s face in case someone looked at him directly.

Yoongi just stared at him. 

‘Granted, it doesn’t cover you up as well as your mask and glasses, but take a look around: so many people are wearing snapbacks, you’ll blend right in and still are hard to recognize.’ 

‘Jimin’, Yoongi said, still confused about what had just transpired. ‘You know I could have just paid for it? You don’t have to take on that job, we can just go back and pay.’ 

Jimin shook his head. ‘Not gonna happen, Yoongi-ssi. This is how things work around here for us. We take jobs and get what we need in return.’ 

‘But-‘ Yoongi began only to be cut off immediately.

‘Nope’, Jimin grinned at him. ‘It’s part of my Yoongi’s Life Lessons package. Consider this lesson number one: Learning how to make deals when living the half-life.’ 

He laughed at Yoongi’s bewildered expression. ‘Come on, Yoongi-ssi! Don’t you want to live a little? Make new experiences? Be yourself, not an idol? Be more independent? I thought you did, judging from our earlier conversation. So let me show you how things work around here. It’s a win-win situation really. You get to let go of being an idol for a while and I get to teach you how things work around here so I won’t have to worry about you accidentally putting yourself in danger anymore.’ 

Yoongi blinked. Jimin worried about him? He hadn’t expected that but it left a warm feeling in his chest. He contemplated. The beta did have a point. He was tired of being so sheltered, of not being able to do things by himself, of always having others watch his back, of constantly being taken care of and having decisions made for him. He was also tired of being clueless about so many things that were normal for everyone else. 

Although he was still slightly miffed that Jimin didn’t let him pay for the snapback and instead now would have to work to pay it off, he couldn’t deny that watching the interaction between the beta and the vendor had been intriguing. There apparently was some deep trust between them for the vendor to just ‘pay’ Jimin in advance. And Jimin hadn’t even hesitated to set his own terms for the deal even though Yoongi was sure the vendor could easily have found someone else to run his errands.

Yoongi had had no idea that deals like this were a thing. What else might Jimin be able to show him? He kind of wanted to know. 

‘Hmm’, he mused, eyeing the beta. ‘I might agree. Under one condition, though.’

Jimin raised his eyebrow, cocking his head slightly to the side. 

‘Drop the formalities and call me hyung’, Yoongi grinned. 

Jimin gasped. ‘What makes you think you’re older than me?’ 

‘You’re obviously still a kid’, Yoongi deadpanned, eyeing Jimin from head to toe. He really is pretty, he thought, eyes widening at the unexpected notion. 

‘Excuse me?!’, Jimin all but screeched. ‘I am 21 years old, thank you very much.’ 

‘See? I’m 24. I was right, I’m your hyung’, Yoongi confirmed, eyes twinkling. 

Finally there was some life in his eyes again. Jimin almost sighed with relief. He smiled. ‘Ok then, Yoongi-hyung. Ready for your next lesson?’

-----

Spending time with Jimin turned out to be very easy. Yoongi felt safe around the beta. Come to think of it, he couldn’t even remember when he had last felt this free. He especially reveled in the fact that he could just walk around without having to cover up his face. Nobody even spared him a second glance, it was like he was blending right in with the crowds. 

They had been browsing the street market for a while and were now strolling towards some street food vendors who had set up close to the river. 

‘We should grab something for dinner’, Jimin mused, but Yoongi shook his head. ‘I’m not hungry’, he muttered. 

It wasn’t exactly the truth. He frowned. Why was he lying to Jimin? He was hungry, very hungry actually. He just wasn’t sure he could keep anything down and he didn’t want to risk it. Eating somehow had become a challenge these past few weeks. His worries and nerves made him feel nauseous most of the time and more than once he had gotten really sick when trying to eat something. It was one of the reasons he had been staying away from the pack’s mealtimes lately, too. He didn’t want his mates to see him like that, possibly asking questions. 

Yoongi knew he had lost weight, but so far he thought he had been able to hide it well from the pack. It helped that they didn’t cuddle anymore. In fact, they barely interacted anymore at this point. Somewhere along the line these past few weeks they had stopped trying to approach him. That was probably on him, though, he thought bitterly. He had pushed them away first.

He couldn’t help but feel guilty for shutting his mates out like this. Didn’t they deserve to know? Why couldn’t he just tell them? They obviously knew something was wrong with him. They had reached out to him and he had shut them down when all he really wanted was to be with them. Now it felt like they had drifted apart to a point where he wasn’t sure they could ever return from and it was all his fault. They had stopped asking whether he was ok a while ago, had stopped sitting with him in silence, had stopped reaching out to him. 

Instead, they shared glances with each other when he was around, probably thinking he wouldn’t notice. There was something between them and him and he had no idea how to overcome it. 

Why had he let it come to that? Why couldn’t things just be like they were before? 

And now he started lying to Jimin, too. Why had he done that? He had wanted to talk to him about all of this, not shut him out, too. He couldn’t lose another person, he just knew he wouldn’t be able to cope with that. 

Tears began rolling down his face as he got more and more lost in his mind. He had never wanted for him and his mates to become like this. If only he could turn back time. If only he could forget about that night, about those hands on his body, the hot breath on his neck, the unwanted touches and kisses, the all-consuming fear and panic. 

When had he become this weak? Alphas weren’t supposed to be like this. He was a sorry excuse for an alpha. No wonder his birth pack hadn’t wanted him. No wonder his parents had rejected him. No wonder his mates had stopped reaching out to him. He was a failure. Nobody wanted a failure in their pack. If only he could be strong like he was supposed to be. Instead, his weakness and his absolute inability to behave like an alpha should was making him lose his pack for the second time. 

How was he supposed to go through losing a pack again? He never had wanted to experience something like this ever again. He had known he wouldn’t be good enough for his mates in the end. Why had he given in to their courting? He wasn’t made to be with anyone, he was defective. Yoongi choked on his breath. Pathetic. So utterly pathetic. Such a sorry excuse for an alpha. 

Dimly he was aware of someone speaking to him, but he couldn’t make out any words. A hand gently grabbed his arm and began steering him somewhere. Not really able to see much through his tears he stumbled along, too lost in thought to notice anything going on around him.

-----

Jimin hadn’t expected this. Of course he had noticed that something seemed off about Yoongi but he figured that it would be best to give him some time and let him bring it up himself. 

If he even wanted to talk about it. 

He figured that there must be a reason behind Yoongi showing up again. He had obviously wanted something from Jimin, that much had become clear from the way he had been asking around for him. The alpha seemed to be in a pretty bad condition. Jimin wondered if it had anything to do with that night back then. 

The lot had said Yoongi had asked for a talk with him, but so far he hadn’t said anything about that. Instead he had just looked deflated and lost and Jimin’s heart had broken a little for him, figuring that maybe he wasn’t comfortable to talk to him just yet. So he had decided to cheer him up, getting him a new disguise and showing him around the area. Things had been going really well and Yoongi had begun to lighten up a bit, even joking around with him. 

Until Jimin had mentioned dinner. He had thought of getting them some food of Yoongi’s choice and taking him to one of his favorite views over the river to eat together. But instead, Yoongi had declared not being hungry and that must have set something off in him. 

Not that Jimin had believed Yoongi wasn’t hungry. He was pretty sure the alpha hadn’t been eating properly. He definitely seemed to have lost weight in those weeks they hadn’t seen each other. He was an idol, though. Jimin supposed he could just be on a diet. 

Pondering what to answer, he hadn’t immediately noticed Yoongi beginning to unravel. It was only when he had told him that he needed to eat something because he was too scrawny and hadn’t received any reply that he had noticed something was wrong. Looking at Yoongi he had been shocked to see the other staring off into the distance, crying silently. He had tried to get his attention, but hadn’t been able to get through to him. 

It seemed like Yoongi was spiraling and had dissociated from his surroundings. Jimin wasn’t sure what exactly had caused this, but he knew they couldn’t stay here. There were too many people around and it was only a matter of time until someone would notice the state the alpha was in and might possibly recognize him. So he gently grabbed Yoongi’s arm, steering him further down the river, all the while murmuring soothing words to him, hoping to prevent him from spiraling even deeper. 

What had happened to make Yoongi dissociate this badly? Something must really be bothering him, Jimin thought and he wondered if that was the reason the other had originally come to see him again. 

Sighing, he decided that there really was only one place they could go if he wanted to give Yoongi some privacy. It didn’t really matter now anyways, the alpha had already been to his place once. He also hadn’t attempted to find his way back there, at least not as far as Jimin could tell. So he supposed that he could trust him enough to bring him there once more. At least his place would shield them from any prying eyes, there would be no risk of anyone seeing them or recognizing the idol and causing a media scandal for him. They weren’t too far from it either so Yoongi would hopefully be able to make it, he thought as he began to steer them in the direction of his place.

-----

Yoongi barely noticed that he was moving. His body was functioning on autopilot while he seemed to be trapped in his mind. All he could think of was that horrible night, being pushed against that wall, the unwanted touches, the panic. He hadn’t even been able to fight those men off. 

Weak, his mind supplied. Defective. Nobody wants someone like that. He was even too weak to just open up about his inner struggles.

Why couldn’t he just be normal? 

His old pack leader had been right, he was a lost cause. There was no way he would ever be able to meet anyone’s expectations. He had let his birth pack down and now he was doing the same to his new pack. To his mates. His mates whom he loved so much. 

It hurt.

He should never have allowed himself the luxury of having a pack again. Of falling in love. He had known it wouldn’t work out. And it was all his own fault. Yoongi himself had destroyed what had been dearest to him. He would be all alone again and he had no idea how to recover from that. 

Yoongi was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice when Jimin pulled him into the tunnels leading to his place. Suddenly everything around him turned dark. He stiffened slightly and was about to panic even more when other memories of that awful night flashed through his mind. 

Darkness.

There had been darkness there, too. Complete, utter darkness, stumbling around, panic. But it had turned out alright. Jimin had been there. He had calmed him down and held him and made him feel safe. 

He wished Jimin was there with him now, too. He desperately wanted someone to hold him like Jimin did that night, to reassure him, to cuddle him like his mates used to do. 

He stumbled when his foot hit some kind of step in the dark and staggered forward. It was so dark, but somehow he wasn’t scared.

Somehow, it felt reassuring. 

A small source of light suddenly turned on and Yoongi blinked before taking in his surroundings. He knew this place, he realized as he cast a brief look around, eyes zeroing in on a mattress in the corner of the room.

Safe, his mind supplied.

This place was safe, he thought and with a sigh of relief he stumbled over to the mattress before collapsing on it and bursting into uncontrollable sobs.

-----

It was almost like a déjà vu, Jimin thought. Had it really already been about a month since he had first brought Yoongi here, talking him out of a massive panic attack, trying to get him to calm down enough to be at least somewhat coherent? 

Now here they were again. 

He had been stunned when somehow Yoongi seemed to have snapped out of his trance once Jimin had turned on his flashlight, the elder staggering towards the mattress before curling up on it and crying heart-wrenchingly. 

Slowly Jimin made his way over to the mattress, settling beside Yoongi and putting a hand on his back. He felt the other stiffen for a moment, head turning slightly to look at him, eyes overflowing with tears, unable to stifle his sobs. 

‘Hey, Yoongi-hyung,’ He smiled at the other. ‘It’s just me. Jimin. No need to be scared. Remember? This place is safe.’ 

Safe.

The word echoed in Yoongi’s mind. He wanted to feel safe and protected so badly. He hadn’t wanted for any of this to happen, he would undo it in a heartbeat if only he could. He wanted his pack back, his mates, his life. 

Yoongi choked on another sob and Jimin’s hand on his back withdrew. Yoongi wanted to protest, he wanted that touch, he wanted to be comforted, anything was better than feeling so utterly alone. But he couldn’t form any words, sobs shaking his body uncontrollably.

He felt the mattress shift next to him and then there were arms encircling him from behind, drawing him into a back-hug. 

‘Is this ok, hyung?’, Jimin asked softly. 

Yoongi nodded, shivering. He had missed being hugged so much. It felt so warm, so comforting. 

So safe. 

With a choked cry he twisted his body around to face Jimin, hands clutching the other’s shirt, face burrowing into the beta’s neck, holding him as close as he possibly could. He felt Jimin’s hands rub circles on his back, moving up to gently card through his hair every now and then. 

‘Let it all out, hyung’, Jimin murmured, making Yoongi tear up even more. ‘You’ll be alright, you’ll see.’ 

And Yoongi cried. 

He cried for his birth pack whom he had failed, for his parents whom he had let down and most of all he cried for his mates, whom he was losing. 

-----

Jimin had no idea how long they had been lying there. Yoongi had surprised him when he had all but thrown himself into his arms like that, holding him as close as he possibly could. 

Almost like he had been craving a hug. 

The realization had startled Jimin. Yoongi had a pack, he was mated, why would he ever crave a hug? Holding the other closer, he had resorted to soothing him, whispering reassurances and softly caressing his back. 

There wasn’t much more he could do right now. Jimin knew what it felt like to be driven over the edge, desperate and hopeless and with no way out. He was almost certain that was what Yoongi was feeling right now as well. He needed to let it out and he needed to feel safe enough to let go of whatever was causing him all this pain. A heartfelt hug and gentle reassurance could work wonders with that, Jimin knew from experience. 

He still remembered the night he broke down in Hajun-hyung’s arms, feeling finally safe enough to let go of everything that had been building up inside of him for years. His hyung had just held him, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear, stroking his head, caressing his back. He had simply been there, strong and supportive and non-judging and Jimin had felt hope for the first time in what felt like forever. It had been exhausting, but Jimin had felt so much lighter afterwards. He had finally found a safe place. 

He frowned. Shouldn’t Yoongi’s mates have created that kind of safe environment for him? Wasn’t that what being mated and forming a pack was all about? Caring for each other and offering comfort, helping each other through struggles and hard times? 

Granted, Jimin had never been in a pack, he had no idea how they actually worked but that’s what he would expect of a pack. Not that he would ever join one but in another life, that was what he would have wanted for himself. 

So why was Yoongi here, crying his heart out in the arms of a stranger when he had a pack at home that should provide him with exactly this comfort?

Jimin really didn’t understand. 

Turning his attention back to Yoongi he noticed that the elder’s sobs had quieted down considerably. He was breathing more steadily now, quietly sniffling every now and then. 

Jimin shifted slightly, lying on his back and drawing Yoongi into his side. Turning his head to look at the alpha, he raised a hand and gently pushed the hair out of his face. As expected, Yoongi looked utterly drained, eyes puffy from crying, face red and blotchy. He must be so exhausted, Jimin thought. 

‘Better?’, he asked quietly. 

Yoongi nodded shakily. ‘I-‘, he croaked and broke off, voice hoarse from all the crying. 

Carefully, Jimin made to detangle himself from Yoongi, only to have the other clutch onto him fervently. He turned to look at Yoongi, surprised to find desperation in his eyes. Did Yoongi think he was just going to leave him alone? 

‘I’ll be right back. Let me just go and grab you some water. You need to drink something, hyung’, he said reassuringly. He could feel the reluctance when Yoongi slowly released his grip on him. 

Quickly making his way over to his emergency stash he grabbed a bottle of water and a protein bar. If he wasn’t completely wrong, Yoongi was probably starving by now. 

He settled back on the mattress with his back against the wall, putting the bottle and snack next to him and reaching out an arm to the elder who had been watching his every move quietly. Without a word Yoongi dove into his side, again shuffling as close as possible. 

Irritation began to build up in Jimin. He was by no means someone to judge quickly, but what in the world was wrong with the alpha’s mates? How could they not have noticed how badly he craved to be held close, to feel safe? Even Jimin could see that the elder was desperate for affection, so why hadn’t they noticed it? They shared a bond with him, surely they must have felt that something was wrong with their mate. So why had they let it come to this? 

Tugging Yoongi closer, he reached for the water bottle with his free arm, handing it over to him. 

‘You need to drink, you lost a lot of fluids’, he said, watching Yoongi as he uncapped the bottle and took a tentative sip. He could tell the exact moment Yoongi noticed how parched he was, gulping down almost the entire bottle of water within just a few seconds. Good, he thought to himself as he handed the protein bar to Yoongi. The elder eyed it, then looked up at Jimin and back at the bar. 

‘Aren’t you hungry, hyung?’, Jimin asked. ‘You need to eat, you know. You have lost weight since I last saw you. I don’t know if you are dieting or if there is another reason for this but you’re too skinny. You don’t have to eat all of it, but at least try?’

Yoongi stared at him. Jimin had noticed that he lost weight? They had only met once before, how could he tell? Not even his mates had realized. Or at least they hadn’t mentioned it. Maybe it was because they didn’t care about Yoongi anymore. He felt tears welling up again and willed himself to focus on the protein bar. Maybe for Jimin he could at least try.

Slowly he unwrapped the bar, taking a tentative bite. What if he got nauseous? 

Jimin’s arm around his waist tightened reassuringly and Yoongi felt himself relax somewhat. The protein bar was good. And he was so hungry. Maybe he could eat a bit more before he got nauseous again.

He took another bite.

Jimin watched in silence as the elder all but devoured the bar. So he had been famished, he thought. He really hoped that this was not because of some company rules. Although he wasn’t sure if the alternative would be any better. 

What if Yoongi had been starving himself for mental reasons? Jimin wasn’t a stranger to that himself. It had taken Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung a lot of patience to install healthy eating habits in Jimin again. Whatever the reason was, Jimin decided that he would have to make Yoongi eat some real food at some point, just a protein bar wouldn’t do. But for now, it would probably help him regain at least some of his energy. These bars were surprisingly sustainable and his hyungs had insisted that they should always have some in stock in case of emergencies.  

He felt Yoongi shift, moving closer to Jimin, resting his head on the younger’s shoulder. Jimin cast him a glance. Yoongi looked tired and drained, but he seemed much calmer now. 

It was getting late, there was almost no light filtering through the boarded up window anymore. Jimin thought that he should probably see to it that Yoongi got home safely, but judging from the way the alpha was clinging onto him right now, he doubted he had any intentions of letting go anytime soon. 

Still, he probably should tell his mates that he is ok. Jimin was pretty sure that some of Yoongi’s emotions had seeped into their bond and while it wasn’t a full-blown panic attack this time, it must probably have been something close to deep sorrow and desperation. He wondered briefly whether his mates even cared for Yoongi at all seeing as they had let it come to this point in the first place. But according to Yoongi they had been worried back when he had been attacked and Jimin figured they at least deserved to know that Yoongi was alright. He hummed a little, making a decision. 

‘Hyung, it’s getting dark outside.’ He felt Yoongi fidget by his side and squeezed him reassuringly. ‘I’m not telling you to leave. You can stay as long as you want. Whenever you want to go home, we can go, though. Just say the word. It’s really your decision. But either way, shouldn’t you let your mates know that you are alright?’ 

Yoongi stiffened.

Huh, Jimin thought, only slightly surprised. So there really was something wrong with his pack after all? 

He watched as Yoongi fumbled for his phone, unlocking it with shaky hands and saw the way his face fell when he looked at the screen. A quick glance told Jimin the reason why. 

No messages, no missed calls. Again Jimin had to suppress a sudden surge of irritation. What the heck, he thought. Surely they must have felt something through their bond? Shouldn’t they have tried to check up on him? Did they really not care at all? 

He saw Yoongi’s lower lip tremble as he quickly typed a message to someone. They sat in silence for a while, Yoongi’s eyes glued to his phone, waiting for a reply. A lone tear rolled down his cheek when the message status stayed at read for several minutes and he finally gave up waiting for an answer. With a deep sigh he muted his phone and put it away. 

This was just shitty, Jimin thought. Whatever was going on in their pack, there was no reason to ignore Yoongi like this. They could have at least said something in return. 

‘Come here’, he said, shifting to allow Yoongi to lean into him better and the other all but melted into his side. Jimin kept one arm around his waist, squeezing gently, hoping it would give some comfort to him. 

He regretted making Yoongi text his pack. If they were being this awful to him, they would have deserved not to know where their mate was. All it did was hurt Yoongi. He sighed softly and tried to calm down, not wanting to spook the elder with his suddenly turned foul mood. 

‘Do you want to talk about it?’, he asked and Yoongi went still in his arms. Jimin stayed silent, waiting for the other to make his decision. Talking, he knew from experience, would help. Just getting everything off your chest, having someone to spill your worries to without being judged could lift a great weight off one's shoulders. 

But talking also wasn’t easy. He wouldn’t pressure Yoongi into talking to him. He would talk when he was ready. If he wasn’t yet, Jimin could wait, however long it might take. Just like Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung had waited for Jimin. It had taken Jimin almost six months to open up to them and he had made them promise to not share his story with anyone else. He didn’t want everyone to know, he didn’t want pitying looks or probing questions. 

What he wanted was a fresh start and he had gotten it. But having his hyungs know had been a good thing. Whenever Jimin was feeling particularly bad, he knew he could turn to them and they would listen to him, reassuring him that he was doing alright. Just that knowledge alone had helped Jimin so much. 

‘I don’t know where to start’, he heard Yoongi whisper. Jimin smiled sadly. That was something he could relate to very well. ‘At the beginning, hyung. Start at the very beginning.’ 

Yoongi looked at him. ‘It’s a long story.’ 

Jimin nodded. ‘We have all night, Yoongi-hyung. Just take your time.’

Chapter Text

Yoongi was exhausted. He wasn’t sure what exactly had happened at the river. Somehow he had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized what was going on around him anymore. At some point he had even forgotten that Jimin was with him; that he wasn’t alone. 

The moment he had recognized that he was back in the beta’s room, he had felt like coming full circle after weeks of feeling lost and helpless. Collapsing on the mattress he had been unable to hold back his emotions any longer. 

Jimin’s hug had been so warm, so comforting. 

Yoongi had craved a hug like this for weeks now. 

Unlike his mates, Jimin didn’t ask any questions. He just held him and let him cry, soothing him with sweet words, most of which didn’t even register with Yoongi. It had felt freeing and when he finally had managed to calm down, he had felt a lot lighter. 

That was, until Jimin had suggested he told his pack that he was ok.

He had a point of course.

They must have felt his sorrow through the bond. While it was possible to shield emotions from filtering into a bond to a certain extent as a way of ensuring the bonded wolves some privacy, uncontrollable or very strong emotions would always find their way into the bond.

In situations that caused that strong feelings, the bond was like a warning system, notifying bond mates that something was off; that a mate needed them. 

Yoongi's breakdown just now definitely fell into this category and seeing that none of his mates had reached out to him at all hurt so damn much.

Just about a month ago they had been worried about him, trying to call his broken phone and flooding the bond with their love for him, trying to calm him and showing him that they cared for him.

And now, there was nothing.

More than ever Yoongi felt like he had lost his mates for good.

He knew Jimin had noticed the lack of a reply to his message. Yoongi hadn’t even really expected one, but it still hurt.

It hurt so much that for the first time since promising the others to never turn off his phone, he had decided to at least mute it for now. Not because he was feeling petty, but to spare himself from more disappointment and pain.

They had broken their promise, he thought. They hadn’t replied when he texted them, even though they read his message. They had promised he could always reach them; that they would always reply.

That he wouldn’t ever be alone again.

But they had ignored him.

They really didn’t want him anymore.

If Yoongi had needed anymore confirmation for his suspicions, he had gotten it now. He didn’t want to deal with the pain that brought on, so he figured it was best to mute his phone and ignore it. 

Yoongi sighed. Jimin was so warm. How did he manage to make him feel so at ease? So much so, that  Yoongi felt like he actually might be able tell him about his problems?

The beta had said he should start at the beginning. But where was that? It didn’t just start with his mates or the night of the attack, did it?

Maybe Yoongi really could tell Jimin everything.

‘I’m from Daegu’, he began quietly. ‘I was born into one of the oldest and most influential packs there, a very traditional one. When I was a child, everyone assumed I would present as an omega since I was always very emotional and loved hugs and cuddles. My pack had these very traditional sub gender views. Omegas are weak and vulnerable, betas are caretakers and alphas are strong and stoic. I know it’s not like that, these are outdated views but that’s the type of community I grew up in.’ 

He paused, gathering his thoughts.

Jimin nodded. 

‘I don’t know all that much about packs, I have never had one’, he said. ‘But I can tell you that outdated views like this exist not only in your birth pack. Orphanages for example aren’t safe places for omegas, sometimes not even for betas. It’s alphas who are privileged there, everyone else is expected to submit. That might not be true for every orphanage, but I know for sure about at least two places that hold on to these archaic standards.’ 

Yoongi’s eyes widened at that. Was Jimin implying that he was an orphan? Had something happened to him at an orphanage? It sure sounded like that. He carefully eyed the younger. If anything was wrong, he had to know. He would make it right. He was his hyung after all. 

Jimin noticed his worried glance and smiled softly. ‘I’m fine, Yoongi-hyung. Don’t worry. I was just trying to say that I’m not a stranger to this outdated sub gender definition.’ 

Yoongi nodded. He would not forget about this, though. Someday they would return to this part of the conversation, he vowed to himself. 

‘I had a nice childhood’, he continued, ‘until it became apparent that I would present as an alpha and not as an omega. Suddenly I was expected to hide my emotions. My parents stopped being affectionate towards me, they stopped scenting me. I got scolded whenever I became emotional about something. They told me that displaying emotions was weak and that alphas couldn’t show any weakness.’ 

Jimin huffed. ‘That’s ridiculous. Showing emotions is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength.’ 

Yoongi stared at him. ‘You think so?’, he whispered. 

‘Of course I do! Nothing is harder than to be truthful about how you feel, to lay yourself bare in front of others. Especially when it comes to things that could make you vulnerable.’ 

Jimin said it with so much conviction that Yoongi had to wonder just what the beta’s own experience contained. His words echoed in Yoongi’s mind.

Showing emotions is not weak, it’s a sign of strength. 

No one had ever told him that before. 

Maybe if he repeated it often enough, he could make himself believe in it, too? Jimin seemed to be convinced of it and Jimin was strong, so he couldn’t be all that wrong, could he? 

Hope surged through Yoongi. Maybe talking to Jimin really could make a difference for him. 

He swallowed.

The next part would be hard.

The beta seemed to notice his uneasiness and shifted their position, drawing him a little closer again. 

Yoongi closed his eyes. 

‘I couldn’t meet their expectations. No matter how many scoldings or punishments I got, I kept slipping up. Eventually my parents turned to our pack leader and he decided that he would give me a beating every time I failed to keep my emotions reigned in.’

Jimin’s grip on Yoongi tightened. Yoongi shivered at the memory. 

‘I slipped up so much’, he whispered. ‘Nobody else seemed to struggle with hiding their emotions. All the other alphas my age were looking down on me, excluding me from their activities. And the omegas and betas were told to stay away from me because they would be a bad influence on me’, Yoongi trailed off, voice cracking. 

‘You must have been so lonely, hyung’, Jimin said, rubbing a hand over Yoongi’s arm reassuringly. 

‘I was’, Yoongi sighed. ‘And I slowly began to close myself off, but I was still longing so much for affection and there were so many emotions building up inside of me that I wasn’t allowed to show. But then I came across a flyer for the underground rap battle scene in Daegu. I always liked music, especially rap. So I just went. It was amazing. All those raw emotions and nobody was judging anyone. Sub gender didn't matter in that scene. It inspired me to write my own lyrics. It helped so much. I poured everything I wasn’t allowed to show into my lyrics. Eventually, I decided to perform as well.’ 

‘I bet you were amazing’, Jimin said. 

Yoongi smiled sadly. ‘I don’t know about that. I definitely gathered quite a few followers. People in the scene kept praising my rap for being so emotional. I let out everything I wasn’t allowed to show otherwise during my performances. It helped with the pack situation, too. I slipped up less.’ 

‘You found an outlet’, Jimin said, nodding in understanding.

The elder sighed. 

‘It was good until I was discovered. Someone from my pack must have been in the audience one night. They recognized me and reported me to the pack leader. He was furious. As were my parents. They tore down my room until they found my lyrics and-’, he broke off, biting back a sob. Even after years, this still hurt. Jimin squeezed him tighter. ‘They-, they made me burn them.’ 

Jimin froze.

How could someone be so cruel, let alone Yoongi’s own parents? Hadn’t he done whatever he could to keep up the façade of the stoic alpha they wanted him to be even though it hurt him so much? Why couldn’t they allow him even the slightest bit of comfort?

Those lyrics must have meant the world to him.

Jimin still remembered how he had felt when he lost dancing. He had felt so empty, so hollow. Sometimes he still felt that way even today. And he had just danced to already existing choreographies. Yoongi had created those lyrics himself, they had been his work, his emotions, his outlet. Jimin couldn’t even imagine how much that must have hurt.

He turned around and pulled Yoongi into a tight hug. 

‘I’m so sorry, Yoongi-hyung’, he whispered. Yoongi felt tears well up in his eyes as he hugged Jimin back. ‘Me, too’, he said. 

They stayed like that for a while, Jimin giving Yoongi time to collect himself again and Yoongi reveling in the feeling of finally being fully understood. He had no idea what Jimin had gone through but it seemed like the beta knew exactly just how much burning his own lyrics had hurt him. His pack had been understanding about it, too, of course, back when he had told them – but they hadn’t fully grasped just what pain this had brought upon him. 

‘It hurt so much’, he whispered dejectedly, ‘so, so much. And when the fire had burned down, the pack leader told me that I was a lost cause and that he would arrange for me to mate with someone within the next few days so I could pour my useless emotions on my mate behind closed doors and stop embarrassing the pack.’ 

He felt Jimin stiffen beside him. ‘What the actual fuck?’, he hissed. ‘I’m sorry, hyung, but you were how old?’ 

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Sixteen.’ 

It was fucked up, he knew that. He had been a minor back then. 

‘That is not ok, hyung. Nothing could ever justify something like that.’ 

‘I know that now. I didn’t really know back then. My pack’s ways were all I really knew. But I also knew that I didn’t want that. It scared me so much. I lost it when he told me. My parents looked so pleased with the decision. I broke down and cried, begging them to reconsider and they got so angry. I received the hardest beating of my life for that, from both the pack leader and my father’, he shuddered at the memory. 

‘My father had never laid a hand on me before. It had always just been the pack leader. In a way it was easier to detach from it, but that time was different. It hurt so much, knowing some of the blows came from my father as well. And my mother just stood by, watching’, he choked out. 

Jimin was seething. How could anyone do something like that to their own child? Yoongi hadn’t deserved that, nobody deserved to be treated like that. He had half a mind to make his way to Daegu and wreak havoc in that shitty pack. But that wouldn’t do any good either. He’d better focus on Yoongi instead. 

‘Would you like to take a break?’, he asked but the alpha shook his head. ‘If I don’t finish this now, I might not be able to talk about it again.’ 

Jimin understood. He had felt the same back when he spilled everything to his hyungs. 

Yoongi looked at him. 

‘They sent me away the next day’, he said quietly.

Jimin couldn’t help but feel relieved about that.

Yes, it probably must have hurt Yoongi a lot to be expelled from his pack, but ultimately staying there would have hurt him even more. Even Jimin could see that much.

‘The pack leader gave me some money and a train ticket to Seoul, saying that as a disgrace to his pack I didn’t have a place in Daegu anymore. I left the same day. Nobody even told me goodbye. I haven’t been back ever since,’ he concluded with downcast eyes.

They stayed silent for a moment, Jimin’s hand rubbing gentle circles on Yoongi’s back. 

‘You know’, he began carefully, ‘I’m glad they sent you away.’ Yoongi turned hia head to look at him. ‘I know it must have hurt so much, but it would have hurt you a lot more if you had stayed. At least this way you had a chance of being your true self. They failed you, hyung. All of them. Your pack leader, your parents, your pack members. If you had stayed, it probably would have destroyed you.’ 

Yoongi wasn’t sure he had heard right. What was Jimin saying? 

‘They- they failed me?’, he asked, confusion written all over his face. 

Jimin hummed.

‘They did. Sub gender doesn’t dictate our character. We are primarily humans, not wolves. Your pack leader failed you by not accepting you the way you are. You would have been a great asset to their pack without having to shut yourself off emotionally. It’s really their loss. Your parents failed you because they decided to put the pack values above their own child’s wellbeing. No parent should willingly watch their child suffer like that and just take it. And your pack members failed you by looking down on you and not speaking up for you. I’m sure you weren’t the only one struggling with these sub gender stereotypes and maybe strength in numbers would have made a difference. But they preferred to look the other way and let you suffer alone. They all failed you, Yoongi-hyung, and I am glad you got away from there.’ 

Yoongi didn’t know what to say. His mind was reeling. He had never looked at it from that perspective. Wasn’t he the defective one who caused trouble for his pack, bringing shame upon his parents and dragging down the pack’s name? 

‘You don’t think-, he broke off and swallowed hard. ‘It’s not my fault?’ 

Jimin was shocked. How could Yoongi think he was the one to blame here when he so obviously had been wronged by the most important people in his life?

‘Hyung, why on earth would it be your fault?’, he inquired. 

‘Because I let them down. I couldn’t meet their expectations, no matter how hard I tried. Nobody else struggled the way I did. I am a sorry excuse for an alpha, I should have tried harder’, Yoongi whispered dejectedly, looking away. Surely Jimin would see now how defective he really was. 

He was startled when the beta hugged him tighter.

‘That’s not true, hyung. You are you. They tried to mold you into something that you aren’t and that’s just wrong. You tried so hard when you shouldn’t have had to. You did everything you could to accommodate them and they didn’t even acknowledge that. You didn’t fail anyone, Yoongi-hyung. You did amazing! None of this was your fault and you definitely are not a sorry excuse for an alpha. Don’t ever say that again, I will fight you on that, I swear.’

Yoongi silently hugged the beta back.

This wasn’t at all what he had expected, but somehow he felt good. Better than he had in a long time. Maybe better than he ever had since leaving Daegu.

Was it really like this? Had he been blaming himself for something that wasn’t on him?

His mind was still having some difficulty grasping that idea yet somehow it put him more at peace with himself than he had been for years.

‘They always said it was my fault’, he finally whispered. 

‘It’s not. It never was, there is nothing wrong with you. Don’t blame yourself for something they messed up, hyung.’ 

Yoongi wanted to believe this. It made sense the way Jimin had explained it. How did the younger know so much about these things, he wondered briefly.

He sighed. ‘It will take some time to get used to that thought.’ 

Jimin nodded. ‘I’ll remind you whenever you need it’, he said.

Yoongi pulled back enough from their hug to be able to look at him.

‘Thank you’, he whispered. 

Jimin just shook his head, a soft smile on his lips.

-----

They sat in silence for a while after that.Yoongi felt exhausted, but in a good way. It was like some weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Jimin had given him a lot to think about.

He had never even considered that he wasn’t at fault, but he wanted to believe the beta. It wouldn’t be easy, but just the thought that there was someone around who didn’t blame him, someone who didn’t think of him as a failure or weak, was already so reassuring. 

Yoongi faltered.

That wasn’t all, though.

There was so much more on his mind, so much more he could tell Jimin. But he had already taken up a lot of the younger’s time and Jimin would have to make deliveries to pay for that snapback in the morning. 

He probably should leave so the beta could rest.

There was just one problem with that.

Yoongi didn’t want to go home.

Was it selfish to want to stay a bit longer, to not want to leave this safe bubble where nothing could hurt him just yet?

He watched in silence, his mind racing, as Jimin got up and got another bottle of water and two more protein bars from his chest of drawers. 

‘It looks like there’s still a lot on your mind, hyung, so we better brace ourselves with a little snack', he grinned as he handed Yoongi one of the bars and the bottle. ‘This is all I have in here, so it’ll have to do for now. We can get a late-night snack somewhere later if you want to? Unless you want to stop now. You don’t have to talk to me, but I’m here if you need someone to listen to you.’ 

Relief flooded Yoongi when he realized he didn’t have to leave yet. He nodded in agreement. How was the younger so perceptive? He always seemed to know what was going on with Yoongi. 

They snacked on their protein bars, Yoongi silently marveling over how he didn’t get nauseous yet again. 

‘Do your mates know? About your birth pack?’, Jimin asked eventually.

Yoongi nodded. 

‘When I came to Seoul, I didn’t know anyone and the money I had been given wasn’t a lot. I stayed in a hostel for a while, trying to figure out what to do when I saw an advertisement for an open audition. I still loved music, so I decided to give it a try. When I got in, I stayed distanced from all of them. It’s not like I avoided them, I just didn’t tell them anything personal and I usually didn’t join their group activities. I-‘, he broke off, not sure how to explain. 

‘You were keeping your distance because you didn’t want to risk getting hurt again,’ Jimin concluded and once again Yoongi wondered just how Jimin knew. Just what had he experienced that he could relate to Yoongi so well? 

‘Yes. I didn’t want to ever lose someone close to me again. But it didn’t work out that way. A few years after coming to Seoul I told them. Things had been building up and I had come home earlier so I wouldn’t have to be alone. But the dorm was empty and I just broke down and cried. That’s how they found me and I ended up telling them everything.’ 

He sighed. ‘They were very understanding, but I don’t think they could grasp just how painful it actually had been. None of them were born into a pack and they all had pretty normal childhoods. But they tried their best to include me more from then on and we got to know each other better, too.’

He smiled at the memory. 

‘When they told me they were courting each other and asked if they could extend the courtship to me, I was baffled. I hadn’t even noticed them courting at all.’ 

Jimin looked up at that. ‘Did you want to be courted?’ 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘Not at that time. Being courted meant most likely ending up joining a pack and pack’s meant the danger of being left behind again.’ 

The beta nodded in understanding. 

‘But they were really convincing. I was so distant and grumpy with them but they never gave up and eventually I realized that I had fallen for them. I don’t think I have ever been as happy as the night when we mated.’ 

‘You love them a lot’, Jimin said softly. 

‘I do’, Yoongi whispered. ‘They are amazing. Jin-hyung is so caring, he always looks after all of us, makes sure we eat enough and sleep enough. Hobi is a ray of sunshine, literally. He always cheers us all up, his laugh is so contagious. Joon-ah is so smart, but so clumsy at the same time. Jin actually banned him from cooking in our kitchen because he burned a pot when boiling water for pasta.’

They chuckled at that. 

‘Then there’s Taehyungie. He’s a bit strange sometimes, he makes the most peculiar remarks out of nowhere. But he is so caring and being around him is calming. And Jungkookie is really quiet but very perceptive. He might seem aloof, but he notices a lot of things earlier than most of us.’ 

Yoongi paused and Jimin smiled. ‘Sounds like you all complement each other very well.’ 

‘We do’, Yoongi replied but then he frowned. 

Did they really?

Everything had been fine until Yoongi had been attacked. Ever since then, things had just been falling apart.

The other five definitely complimented each other very well. They had been together for quite a while already when they had extended their courtship to Yoongi, too. The foundation they had with each other was deeper than the one any of them had with Yoongi. The way things had turned out recently, he wasn’t sure anymore that he fit into their dynamics. 

He thought of the looks they shared lately when they were around him. Remembered his earlier message to the group chat and the lack of reply, the way they had turned their back on their promise to always answer him.

No, he thought, he didn’t fit into their dynamics anymore.

He was in the way. 

‘Hey’, Jimin’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. ‘What’s wrong? You’re shaking.’ 

Was he?

Yoongi hadn’t even realized. He shook his head. ‘I don’t know what to do’, he said, voice wavering dangerously. 

‘You can tell me, you know? If you want to.’ 

He did, Yoongi thought. He really needed to tell someone.

‘That night when-‘, he stocked, swallowing the lump in his throat. ‘That night when you got me out of that alley. Did you-‘ another pause. He closed his eyes, willing his voice not to crack. ‘Do you know what happened back there?’ 

Jimin looked at Yoongi, the way he had his eyes squeezed shut, visibly trying to keep his composure. He knew what Yoongi was asking him. He wanted to know if Jimin knew what his attackers had been doing to him.

So it came down to this, Jimin thought. He had already suspected something along these lines. Keeping his voice quiet and calm, trying not to spook the elder, he spoke out what Yoongi so obviously struggled to say. 

‘It was very dark, but I heard and saw enough. They were assaulting you.’ 

A violent shiver ran through Yoongi.

Jimin reached out a hand, but hesitated for a moment before he asked ‘Hug?’

Yoongi opened his eyes, looking up at Jimin for a few seconds before reaching for him, melting into the embrace. 

‘I can’t forget about it’, he whispered as Jimin hugged him a little tighter. ‘It keeps coming back, especially at night. If I don’t think about it, I dream about it. In my dreams y-you-‘, his voice cracked and he took a deep breath, ‘… you don’t arrive in time.’ 

Jimin noticed that Yoongi was crying again, albeit silently this time. He reached up a hand, carding fingers through his hair. 

‘I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate on my work when I’m in the studio. I can’t compose. I can’t eat because I always feel so nauseous. I don’t know what to do. I just want to forget about it, but it keeps coming back to me.’ 

He took a deep breath. ‘I keep thinking of their hands. Their breaths on my neck. The paralyzing fear. It just won’t go away, no matter what I do.’ 

This was worse than Jimin had thought. It seemed like Yoongi hadn’t been able to move on from that night at all. Carefully he moved them around a bit so that his back was against the wall again, giving him some support while he held Yoongi. The elder’s head slowly dropped to Jimin’s shoulder, nuzzling into his neck, trying to calm himself. 

‘It will take time, hyung. That’s not something you can just forget about easily, but it will get better with time. You will feel better, I promise. Just don’t try to ignore it, that will only make it worse.’ 

‘Then what should I do?’, Yoongi whispered. 

Jimin hummed. ‘I can tell you what I do when dark thoughts try to take a hold of me. I don’t know if it works for you, but maybe you could give it a try?’ 

Yoongi nodded.

Anything.

He would try anything if it meant that he could feel at least a little bit like himself again. 

‘Try to counter those thoughts with positive thoughts, hyung. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it can help you a lot. Try to find a positive countermeasure for each of the thoughts or memories that haunt you.’ 

Yoongi looked doubtful. ‘I’m not sure I understand.’ 

Jimin nodded, it was a bit of a weird concept, he got that. Yet, it had been the one thing that kept him afloat for all these years, so maybe if he explained well enough Yoongi could draw from it, too.

‘Let me give you an example. You said you keep thinking of their hands touching you. You loathed their touch, right?’ 

Yoongi averted his eyes as he nodded his agreement. 

‘Then, maybe a positive counter thought could be the touch of someone you love. Maybe one of your mates? Or even all of them. Try to conjure up that image, that feeling whenever this particular dark thought tries to overtake you. Do the same for all the other thoughts, images or memories that might come back to haunt you. Find a specific counter thought for each one of them. Don’t let them win over you, hyung. You can fight back with positive thoughts.’ 

Yoongi pondered that for a moment. He had never heard of anything like that, but he remembered how thinking of Jimin holding him after his panic attack had grounded him whenever he had felt like he was spiraling again these past few weeks. Maybe this method could actually work. 

‘I guess can try that’, he murmured and Jimin hugged him a bit tighter.

‘It takes a bit of practice but I’m sure you can do it. You’ll be alright, hyung’, he whispered into his ear.

Yoongi really hoped the younger would be right.

‘Hyung?’, Jimin asked after a moment of silence. ‘You don’t have to answer me and I’m sorry if I am crossing a line with this question but did you talk about what happened with your mates?’

Considering how Yoongi seemingly hadn’t dealt with what had happened at all yet, he wondered if his pack knew about the assault. As if on cue, he felt Yoongi stiffen in his hold again.This didn’t bode to well at all.

‘I can’t’, Yoongi whispered.

And Jimin understood. This wasn’t something that was easily talked about.

Especially not as an alpha.

Even though the traditional sub gender views were outdated, alphas were still expected to be able to protect themselves.

For reasons Jimin never understood, it apparently was ok to be emotional and cuddly as an alpha, but being a victim of any sort seemed to still hold some kind of stigma with a lot of people.

Considering that and his weak self-esteem about his sub gender, Yoongi was already being brave talking to him about what happened in the first place.

Although, come to think of it, Jimin already knew anyway and he was a relative stranger. Maybe it was easier for Yoongi to open up to him. It probably would be harder to tell someone you are actually very close to. 

‘You didn’t talk about what happened at all?’, Jimin asked to clarify. Yoongi shook his head. 

‘No I-, I told them most of it. I just left out the part of the assault.’ 

Yoongi swallowed hard.

This was the first time he had said the word out loud.

Somehow it made it more real, but at the same time it also felt less threatening now that he had finally voiced it.

With Jimin, it somehow wasn’t that hard to talk.

Why couldn’t it have been like this with his mates, too? 

‘I couldn’t tell them’, he continued. ‘I tried, but I just couldn’t. At first I didn’t want to think about it at all, let alone talk about it. I thought I just needed a few days, but with every day that passed it became even harder to talk about it.’

He thought of all the times his mates had tried to reach out to him, the times he had pushed them away.

‘I messed up’, he concluded, voice hollow. 

Jimin frowned. ‘What do you mean?’ 

‘I didn’t tell them and I shut them out when they tried to reach out to me. I was so scared of their reaction or that they would ask questions I couldn’t answer, so I closed myself off from them. Then the nightmares began, so I stopped sleeping in our pack bed, too. I couldn’t risk them seeing me like that. And lately I had to stop eating with them, too, because eating sometimes makes me really nauseous now and I didn’t want them to notice.’ 

Jimin was beginning to see the picture now.

Yoongi had been terrified his mates would find out what really had happened. He thought he simply wasn’t ready to talk about it, but it was more likely that the trauma from that night itself actually prevented him from talking, even if he wanted to.

Jimin had enough experience with trauma to know how badly it could mess one up.

‘I pushed them away and kept shutting them out and now they stopped caring’, Yoongi added silently.

Jimin frowned again.

Now that couldn’t be true, could it? It had only been four weeks since the night of the attack. There was no way Yoongi’s mates gave up on him that quickly, right?

‘What makes you think that?’, he asked gently. 

It was obvious that this was the core of Yoongi’s current struggle. He had completely stilled the moment Jimin had brought up his mates, sounding totally defeated and so very sad. 

‘Everything’, Yoongi whispered dejectedly. ‘They have stopped asking if I’m ok. They used to just sit with me in silence when I didn’t want to talk, but none of them do that anymore. They share looks with each other whenever we are all together, probably thinking I don’t notice, but I do and it hurts.’

A sob escaped Yoongi and Jimin felt his heart break for the alpha.

‘Maybe they don’t know what to do, either’, he told the elder. ‘They are missing some vital information to this whole situation after all.’ 

Although that didn’t make it ok to just give up on Yoongi, he thought bitterly. Even if they thought it was ‘just’ an attack, they shouldn’t expect him to simply move on from it. It would still be a traumatic experience. Plus, Yoongi had just told him that his pack knew about his past. They knew that Yoongi struggled with his emotions so they should be patient with him, give him time to come to terms with everything and to find the courage to talk about it. 

‘They didn’t reply to my message’, Yoongi said defeatedly. 

Jimin frowned, unsure what to make of that.

‘Back when I told them about my past they made me promise to never turn off my phone so that they could always reach me in case they went out and wanted to invite me, too. So I wouldn’t come back to an empty home when I needed company ever again. They promised they would leave their phones on for me as well at all times, so I could reach them whenever I needed them. So I wouldn’t ever feel lonely again. They- they promised to always answer me and they always replied until now, no matter how unimportant my messages were’, Yoongi choked out. 

What the fuck, Jimin thought. That was not ok. He understood that maybe Yoongi’s mates were at a loss at what to do but they knew about Yoongi’s past, about his character, about his emotional struggles. Yoongi had been fucking traumatized that night, couldn’t they see that even without having all the information? Being attacked, no matter in what way, was always a big deal. One didn’t just move on from that. Did they just expect Yoongi to be fine and pretend like nothing ever happened? 

They should have been there for him, especially when he began to withdraw more and more. They should have been patient, reassuring him time and time again that he was safe and that they would wait for him until he was ready to talk to them. He had obviously been lonely, craving to be held and reassured and they had just turned their backs on him like that? 

If Jimin had been irritated by their behavior before, he was furious now. He thought back to how his hyungs had treated him with so much care back when they had taken him in. He had pushed them away for months yet they never gave up on him. And they hadn’t even known Jimin at all. Those were Yoongi’s mates, damn it. The people who claimed to love him, the people who were supposed to help him through tough times like this. Were they really that sheltered that they couldn’t even imagine what trauma could do to a person? Just how naïve were these people? 

Jimin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Being angry wouldn’t help Yoongi at all. The alpha was silently crying in his arms now, his sorrow and loneliness palpable. If even Jimin could feel it, it was beyond him how his mates could be indifferent to emotions like this flooding their bond. He secretly hoped that they were worrying now, remembering with some satisfaction that Yoongi had muted his phone after they hadn’t replied to him. It would serve them right not to be able to reach him, he thought before turning his attention back to Yoongi. 

‘Hyung’, he said softly, ‘I’m sure it’s not what you think. They love you just as much as you love them. They are probably overwhelmed with the situation and maybe they decided to give you space until you are ready to talk to them.’ 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘They didn’t reply to my message’, he repeated dully and Jimin was about ready to murder at least one of them right now. Maybe even two or three. What had they been thinking? Even if them stopping to reach out for Yoongi was in order to give him space, ignoring his message when they had such an important promise going on was unacceptable. Why would they hurt their mate like this? 

A sudden thought struck him. Surely they couldn’t be so immature that they decided to shut Yoongi out as well? To make him feel what they felt? 

That would be petty, Jimin thought. And frankly, from how they seemed to have treated Yoongi, he wouldn’t put it past them, either. They were sheltered idols after all, they probably had no idea how trauma worked. Maybe they thought that by making Yoongi feel rejected he would reach out again and open up to them. It was a possibility, although a quite far-fetched one.

He sighed deeply. ‘Hyung’, he coaxed. ‘I don’t know your mates and I have no idea why they didn’t answer your message but I don’t think they don’t want you anymore. You should talk to them.’ 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘Can’t.’ 

Jimin nodded his understanding. ‘I don’t mean that you should tell them about the assault. If you can’t talk about it, then you don’t do it. That’s most likely not even you refusing to talk about it but your trauma preventing you from doing so. It takes time to reach the point where you can talk about it freely. And I know you will get there. You already talked to me about it and you did so well, hyung.’ 

Yoongi sniffled and hugged Jimin a little bit tighter.

‘But you can tell them that you are still struggling with what happened’, Jimin continued. ‘They probably have no experience with trauma and you are dealing with a lot. You can stay as vague as you like, tell them that you still can’t fully grasp everything and often tend to withdraw but don’t mean to. Let them know that you miss them, that you want to be held and hugged even though you aren’t currently sleeping in the same room as them. And most importantly, tell them that their silence to your message has hurt you. They have to know that, hyung. They might not have meant to hurt you but they did. You need to tell them so it won’t happen again.’ 

How did he end up giving relationship advice, Jimin wondered wryly. It’s not like he had any experience in that field. Still, he couldn’t just say nothing when Yoongi was so sad and he had a gut feeling that his pack was just acting out of ignorance and still cared for their alpha. He really hoped his feeling would turn out to be correct. 

They fell silent while Yoongi pondered what Jimin had just suggested. He could definitely talk to his mates and stay vague. He felt a lot more in control now that he had spoken about everything to Jimin. He needed to talk to them at some point anyway. If Yoongi was correct and the pack didn’t want him anymore, he needed to know. And if Jimin was correct and this was all just a big misunderstanding he definitely wanted to know. 

Maybe, just maybe Jimin would be right. Yoongi didn’t want to get his hopes up just yet but he allowed himself to be a little less gloomy. Slowly he sat up to look at Jimin. The beta was eyeing him worriedly and Yoongi felt his heart burst with affection for the younger. 

He was so good to him, he thought. How could someone so young be so perceptive, so understanding and so calming? He hadn’t only saved Yoongi that night, he was also doing his best to take care of him now, to help him deal with the aftermath of everything despite barely knowing the other. Yoongi swore to himself that he would make sure to help Jimin out of his current situation. He deserved so much better than this. 

‘I will talk to them’, he said and Jimin smiled at him. ‘I don’t know how much I can actually tell them but I can try the vague approach. And I definitely can tell them about how I felt about the text message’, he concluded. 

‘You will do fine, hyung, I know you will. You are such a strong person to deal with all of this so well’, Jimin said and Yoongi’s heart swelled with pride. Maybe he was stronger than he had thought. 

Talking to Jimin had been the right decision to make, he was sure of that. Somehow he felt better now, things didn’t seem as hopeless as before. 

Losing his birth pack wasn’t his fault according to Jimin and the way he had explained it made Yoongi think that he might be right. He would try to believe in that, too. And Jimin had said it was normal that he was still struggling, that he was dealing with trauma and that he would be alright again. It was only matter of time. Yoongi desperately wanted to believe in that, too. There were some things he could try to ground himself until he got to that point, as well. If it worked for the beta, maybe it worked for himself, too. And he might still be able to fix things with his mates, although he didn’t want to get too hopeful about that yet. It was best to be prepared for the worst. 

There was just one more thing that bothered Yoongi and he knew Jimin could definitely help him with that. 

‘Can I ask you something?’, he began, looking at the younger, not surprised to see him nod encouragingly. He really was so caring, he thought again. ‘It’s about that night when I was attacked.’ 

He paused, surprised at how easily he had been able to bring up the topic again. It didn’t make him panic like it did before. He hoped it would stay this way from now on. Maybe, just maybe he was already getting a little bit better, he thought, hope sparking in his chest. 

‘I was so stupid. I shouldn’t have gone out by myself. Everyone always warned us about it. But I was tired and I wanted to be with my mates and it wasn’t even such a long walk. It was such a dumb thing to do.’ 

Jimin hummed. ‘It definitely wasn’t smart’, he said. There was no sugarcoating the fact that Yoongi had been incredibly reckless. But he reckoned that the idol simply hadn’t known better, always having been sheltered from the dangers that lurked in the streets of Seoul. 

‘I couldn’t even fight them off. So weak’, Yoongi whispered.

Jimin shook his head. 

‘You’re not. I told you before, those were gang members. Black Vipers. They are trained well in combat and most of them are pretty strong. You might have been able to stand a chance against one of them, but not two. Most people wouldn’t. Unless maybe you are trained in martial arts or something like that. It has nothing to do with being weak, hyung.’ 

Yoongi pulled back a little, looking at Jimin incredulously. ‘You fought them off, though’, he pointed out. 

Jimin shook his head again. ‘I didn’t. All I did was buy us some time. I used my firecrackers to distract them and hit one of them in the head with a bottle that had been lying around on the ground there. They chased us all the way down to the river, remember?’ 

It was Yoongi’s turn to shake his head. ‘I don’t remember anything very well after we got out of that alley. I don’t even really remember what happened after you told me to run. That’s what I wanted to ask. Can you-‘, he swallowed, ‘can you tell me what happened? I think I need to know.’ 

He did, Jimin thought. It must be horrible not to know what exactly had been going on that night, to have blank spots that could be filled with the most horrible scenarios.

He nodded. 

‘Of course I can. You really didn’t miss all that much, most of the time we were just running.’ He winked at Yoongi and Yoongi was surprised when he felt a smile tug at the corner of his own lips in reply. This was a serious topic but Jimin really made him feel at ease. 

‘We chased through some of the alleys for a while. I was trying to shake them off but there weren’t many options to hide and they had no trouble keeping track of us. That’s why I steered us here, to the river.’ 

He paused, looking at Yoongi.

‘I know it made you panic harder but this place is safer than it appears. I know people around here. My plan was trying to get us to my place but they were closing in fast by then and you were really spiraling. Remember under that one bridge where we met some other people?’ 

Yoongi nodded. ‘I thought they would attack us.’ 

Jimin snorted. ‘If the attack would be tackling you from behind to annoy the hell out of you whenever they see you, then yes, that might have been an option. But they really are a harmless lot, just very high maintenance. You met them again today, actually. They were the same kids who told me you were looking for me’, he said. 

Yoongi’s eyes widened. He had totally forgotten about the kids from earlier. So they had known Jimin after all. And told him where to find Yoongi. He shouldn’t have doubted them. He also needed to thank them, he decided. 

Jimin grinned. 

‘Surprised? They had actually been tasked by one of our community leaders to keep an eye out for the mysterious guy asking questions. You tipped them off on my real name, though. Everyone around here simply knows me as Ji.’ 

That explained a lot, Yoongi thought. No wonder he hadn’t been able to find anyone who knew Jimin. ‘I’m so sorry, I had no idea’, he said, suddenly realizing that he had unintentionally revealed the beta’s name when he had tried to keep it secret.

Jimin shook his head. ‘It’s ok. I knew it would come out at some point when I accidentally told you. I don’t even know how that happened, I must have been tired that night.’ He smirked. ‘They concluded who Jimin was when you revealed your name to them. That’s when they knew. You should have seen them, they were eyeing me like predators would their prey, making cryptic remarks, hoping to get a reaction out of me.’

Yoongi couldn’t help but be amused. These kids seemed to be a handful. ‘Did you?’, he asked. ‘Give them a reaction, I mean.’ 

Jimin snorted, eyes twinkling. ‘I asked them if they needed help passing their message on to said Jimin and gave them a lecture on how many names start with the syllable Ji.’

Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle at that. So Jimin could be a menace, too. ‘They believed you?’ 

‘I think they did but I ended up owning up to it anyway. They deserved to know and they promised not to tell anyone else.’ 

Yoongi looked at him inquiringly. ‘So, would you prefer I call you Ji?’

The younger shook his head. ‘Only when we’re around other people. I like you calling me by my real name’, he said honestly. 

And it really was true. It had been a long time since anyone had called him Jimin and he hadn’t known how much he actually missed it. 

Yoongi smiled and nodded. 

Jimin decided they had gotten quite off topic, not that he was surprised. The lot was always distracting him, they didn’t even have to make a physical appearance for that apparently. 

‘Anyway’, he said to Yoongi, ‘that’s who we met under that bridge. It’s their favorite hangout spot and I was hoping to find them there. I asked them to run a distraction for us, to get those guys off our backs. You were spiraling really badly by then and I was afraid we wouldn’t make it without their help. They pretended to be us and drew the guys away from the bridge, back into the alleys.’ 

Yoongi stared at Jimin in disbelief. He had utilized those kids to get them to safety? What if something had happened to them? Why would he do something like that? If it had been dangerous for him and Jimin already, how could the younger drag some innocent kids into this as well? He frowned, not sure what to make of this information. It wasn’t something he would have expected the beta to do.

Jimin noticed his look and sighed. ‘It’s not like that. They weren’t in any real danger, I promise. These kids know this area almost as well as I do. They knew what they were doing. It’s an emergency plan we have in place here. Most of the other people of our community live on the other side of the river so we have to have some measures in place that we can fall back on in case someone gets into trouble. They knew exactly where to go and what to do. We practiced it many times. I would never put them in any actual danger, I promise.’ 

Yoongi relaxed at that. He would just have to trust Jimin with this, he really was pretty clueless about this whole river community situation after all. 

Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘They actually claim to have had fun that night.’ 

Yoongi eyed him in disbelief. 

‘I know, right?’, Jimin asked with a huff. ‘It’s ridiculous. They’re ridiculous. Actually, they are ridiculously annoying, always stalking me and getting on my nerves.’ 

Yoongi couldn’t help but smile at that. Somehow Jimin seemed to be both fond of those kids and extremely annoyed by them. 

‘I’d like to thank them’, he said quietly. 

Jimin nodded. ‘I know they’d love to meet you. They recognized you right away under that bridge so you better prepare for them to be extra annoying. They have been pestering me about wanting to meet who they call my 'rap star' ever since that night.’ Jimin decided to omit the fact that he himself had had no idea who Yoongi was. Now wasn’t the time for this. ‘I can take you to see them one of these days, ok?’ 

Yoongi nodded eagerly. That meant he would get to see Jimin again. Somehow the thought calmed his nerves a lot. 

‘Anyway, after the lot distracted our pursuers, I brought us right here and you had a massive panic attack. It took you a while to resurface from that but I guess you do remember what happened after that?’ 

Yoongi nodded. Everything was crystal clear in his mind after that. He was glad he had asked Jimin to fill in the blank spots for him. Especially about what had happened under that bridge. It had been bothering him. At least now he knew that they hadn’t ended up at the river accidentally and he knew what had been going on at the bridge.

It felt good to know everything that had happened. Not that it made it less dangerous but now he could at least make sense of the fragments he had had before. There was no more room for possible scenarios to play out in his head now. 

He felt relieved. Jimin had really helped him so much. He would never be able to make up for it, he thought as he looked at the younger. ‘Thank you, Jimin. Seriously. For everything. You have no idea how much you’ve been helping me.’ 

Jimin shook his head. ‘There’s no need to thank me, hyung. I’m just glad you are feeling a bit better now.’ 

He eyed Yoongi. ‘You are feeling better, right?’, he questioned.

Yoongi nodded. 

‘Great’, Jimin concluded, eyes twinkling as he took in Yoongi’s expression. He looked exhausted, which was to be expected after such an emotional rollercoaster but there was a spark in his eyes now and he seemed much more at ease than before. There was still one thing Jimin had to take care of, he decided. 

‘Alright then, Yoongi-hyung. I know it’s late but we never completed your second lesson from Yoongi’s Life Lessons package, so we better get back on track. How about we go back out there and find ourselves some late-night meal? I’ll show you how things like that work around here. Don’t worry, we’re not gonna run into any trouble, we’ll stick to the safe places.’ 

He held out his hand and suppressed a grin when Yoongi smiled and took it, eyes shining with something akin to excitement.

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Please don’t worry. I’m alright, just dealing with some stuff I can’t talk about just yet. By the way, I might be late tonight. Will either stay at the studio or take a cab home. I promise I’ll be careful.

(sent 3 minutes ago, read by 5)

They stared at their phones. Now what? Should they reply? And where in the world was Yoongi? They knew for sure he wasn’t in his studio. He had left it sometime in the afternoon. Hoseok had met him on his way out and Yoongi had told him he was going for a walk.

Again, Hoseok had thought. That was the second time today. Granted, being between comebacks gave them all a little more freedom on when to work and when to take time off - especially when it came to composing. Yoongi had always been most productive at night and when schedules and time allowed it, he would work in his studio starting sometime in the late afternoon until the early morning hours or longer. But he usually spent his free time relaxing at home, sleeping or reading, sometimes cooking for them or watching Jungkook and Taehyung play videogames. He never had been one to go on walks voluntarily and now he even went twice in one day? Hoseok really didn’t like this. 

Yoongi still hadn’t been back at the studio when Hoseok finished dance practice two hours later and he also wasn’t at the dorm when he had returned home. He had told the others then and they had talked about it over dinner when suddenly a wave of despair and sorrow rippled through their bond, effectively silencing them. 

By now they had almost gotten used to Yoongi’s ‘negative’ mood swings, as they had begun to refer to it. This one had seemed a bit more intense but Yoongi had made it clear to them that he didn’t want them reaching out to him. So, as always, they just waited it out. To their surprise, it seemed to ebb away again faster than usual. 

Hoseok had sighed. ‘Well, that’s that, huh?’ 

The others nodded. 

‘That was a rather short one, really’, Jin wondered. 

Taehyung frowned. ‘I doubt he calmed himself down that fast. It takes forever at night.’ 

Nobody spoke out loud what all of them thought. 

Jimin. 

That ominous guy who allegedly saved Yoongi that cursed night and now was doing his best to get him away from them. The air became heavy with their combined burning scents. Lost in thought they had continued their meal in silence. And then Yoongi had texted their group chat saying that he was alright but probably wouldn’t be back anytime soon. That hadn’t happened ever since he had returned after the attack. He had always made sure to be home before nightfall. Another new addition to their list of worries. 

‘I don’t know if I should be happy that he messaged us or upset that he probably is with that Jimin person right now’, Jungkook grumbled, ‘but I lean towards the latter.’ 

The others nodded in agreement. 

‘Why is he letting a stranger in when he shuts us out? Are we not good enough for him anymore?’, Jin wondered, frustration evident in his voice. 

‘It’s not Yoongi-hyung’, Namjoon said and looked at his mates, contemplating what to say next. 

The five of them had always been especially close, he mused. He thought back to when they had first started courting. It had come to them naturally, they had been hanging out a lot together and grown closer and closer. They transitioned from friendship into courtship almost seamlessly. 

By the time Yoongi had told them about his past, they had already been courting for a while. Obviously they had reached out to him, offering him their friendship and support. None of them had initially seen Yoongi as a potential mate, though. That’s why they had kept their courtship secret from him, even after hanging out with him more. 

Gradually, things had changed, though. With Yoongi opening up to them more they realized how grateful he was for them accepting him as he was. But it had mostly been his reaching out to them and them having become his support system that had made them consider courting Yoongi, too. 

They had liked taking care of him and being needed by him. Extending their courtship to him had seemed the logical next step. After all, they could offer him a pack when he had nothing and nobody, they could offer to become his mates so he would never be alone again. They would be able to take care of him even better than they currently did. 

Of course they had expected Yoongi to be reluctant, had known he would push them away at first. It was a given considering he had already lost a pack once. But by then they had known how to handle that, they had been patient and attentive without being overwhelming and eventually Yoongi had let his walls down and accepted their courtship. 

It hadn’t been easy and they had been proud of themselves back then for having earned Yoongi’s trust, Namjoon remembered. 

And Yoongi - Yoongi had been so happy. They had never seen him this content, smiley and soft. It had filled them with pride knowing that they had achieved that. 

The pack and his mates were Yoongi’s everything, they all knew that. He would never willingly do anything to risk this. 

No, Namjoon thought to himself. Yoongi shutting them out had nothing to do with Yoongi himself. 

‘It’s this Jimin person, not Yoongi’, he told his mates. ‘Yoongi would never shut us out like this, he would never leave us. He needs us, we are all he has. We all know that, right?’ 

He looked around at his mates who all nodded in agreement.

Namjoon sighed. ‘Exactly, he wouldn’t. And that can mean only one thing. He is being manipulated, probably guilt-tripped into spending time with that person because they made him believe they saved him.’ 

There was a flare of anger rattling their bond and they quickly reigned it in again, hoping Yoongi wouldn’t notice. 

‘He probably recognized him and is trying to take as much advantage of him as possible’, Jin said darkly. 

‘Yoongi-hyung is too nice for his own good sometimes’, Taehyung sighed. ‘But if that’s true and he is only spending time with that guy because he feels obligated to, then he will definitely leave him once he fears that he might be losing us. He’ll always put us first after all.’ 

They all hummed in agreement. Yoongi would do anything in order to keep his pack, it was his everything. They all knew he never would want to go through the experience of losing his pack ever again. If being with Jimin would turn out to be a threat to it, he would definitely stop seeing him and return to them. They just had to be patient. 

‘So’, Hoseok concluded, deciding to say out loud what everyone else was pondering, ‘we aren’t going to answer his message then?’ He looked around, seeing four heads nodding in agreement. 

‘We decided to try being distant, didn’t we? Then we probably should avoid the chat for a while as well, make ourselves really scarce’, Jin mused. 

‘But I want to talk to you guys when we aren’t together’, Taehyung pouted. 

They always used the chat to talk when they had different schedules, an easy way to stay in touch with everyone and to keep up with everything going on in the pack. 

Jungkook grinned, grabbed his phone and began typing. A few moments later, their phones went off with a notification. Curious, they went to check them.

Jungkook created a group chat.
Jungkook renamed the chat to The One Without Yoongi.
Jungkook added Jin, Joonie, Hobi and Tae.

Jungkook: There. Now we still can talk!

Smiles formed on their faces as they began to type their replies.

-----

Jimin’s offer to go out and get something to eat had Yoongi hesitate for a few seconds. He hadn’t thought he would be able to go out at night like this again. At least not in Seoul, definitely not in the downtown or river area and most definitely not this soon. If he was being totally honest, he was still feeling quite uneasy about it. 

But Jimin had reassured him that they would be safe and from what Yoongi knew about the beta so far, one thing was sure: Jimin knew what he was doing when it came to anything that had to do with street life. He had kept Yoongi safe before, too. In fact, Yoongi was sure he would never have felt safe enough to go out ever again, if Jimin hadn’t decided to step in that night, risking his own safety for him, a total stranger. 

Yoongi still marveled at that. Jimin made it sound like it was the most normal thing in the world but Yoongi knew that it wasn’t. People tended to look away, tended to not want to get involved.  He would like to believe that he himself was different, that he would get involved if someone was in need. But if it really came down to that and if the situation was dangerous, would he really? Yoongi wasn’t all that sure he would be able to be that brave. 

But Jimin had not only gotten involved, no, he had also gone out of his way for Yoongi. He seemed to worry about him, had listened to him and comforted him and by doing all that he had put Yoongi ever so much more at ease. Jimin deserved to be trusted, he decided. 

And Yoongi did want this part of his life back after all. He wanted to be able to go out without being scared again, wanted to leave the shadows of that night behind him. He did want to experience things on his own, without being babied by their management and staff, he wanted to be more independent. If Jimin offered him a chance at that when he had absolutely no obligation to do so, who was Yoongi to refuse? 

So far, what Jimin had shown him earlier today had been intriguing and Yoongi had to admit to himself that this river community fascinated him. He had never seen or heard of anything like this before. Usually, homeless people were considered filthy, often associated with petty crime. But from what he had experienced until now, that wasn’t the case here. It was like they had their own set of rules that they lived by – without breaking the law in any way. Yoongi wasn’t sure if he would be able to live like this, but Jimin appeared to be so content and confident and people seemed to respect him a lot. Yoongi definitely wouldn’t mind learning more about all this, he thought. And so he reached out and took Jimin’s hand, accepting his invitation to go and grab some food. 

-----

This was the fourth time Jimin navigated him through the underground tunnel maze in the dark but it was the first time Yoongi decided to actually pay attention. 

‘Right, right, left, right, left, left, right, left’, he muttered under his breath, constantly repeating the turns they took like a mantra. He was going to submit this order to his brain, he was determined to. Not that he would be brave enough to try to find Jimin in this maze anytime soon. Plus, he had a feeling that the younger didn’t want him to know the exact location, seeing as he always navigated them through the dark even though Yoongi often stumbled, unfamiliar with the terrain. The beta could have easily brought along his flashlight on their way out, but he hadn’t. So he probably wanted the exact location to stay a mystery, Yoongi thought. 

They took another turn and he frowned, focusing back on his order. 

‘Right, right, left, right, left, left, right, left, left.’ 

He was pretty sure he heard Jimin suppress a snort, but he was too focused on submitting this order to his long-term memory right now, so he didn’t bother reacting to it. Another right turn, then Jimin tugged him through the now well-known to Yoongi opening in the wall and they were outside. Jimin immediately led them out from under the bridge. The sun had gone down by now but they could see each other well enough in the moonlight. 

He turned to face Jimin. 

‘Right, right, left, right, left, left, right, left, left, right’, he said, sounding somewhat triumphant and Jimin chuckled. ‘Did you really memorize the whole path, hyung?’ 

Yoongi nodded. ‘Of course. Right, right, left, right, left, left, right, left, left, right. Is it correct?’ 

Jimin smiled. ‘You got it all correct, hyung. Well done!’ Yoongi grinned. ‘It really wasn’t all that hard’, he said proudly. 

‘It wasn’t?’, Jimin asked, a devilish smile forming on his face. Shaking his head, Yoongi hummed. 

‘That’s really great, Yoongi-hyung. Just remember, when we go back in, the order of turns will be reversed and the opposite of each turn you took on the way out.’ 

Yoongi’s eyes widened. Why hadn’t he considered that? 

‘That’s not a problem, right, hyung? You have the path memorized, you just have to reverse it and then do the exact opposite of what the order tells you to. Tell me, which order would the reversed one be?’ 

For a moment, Yoongi was at a loss but then he decided to rise up to the challenge. It couldn’t be that hard, right?  

‘Right, left, left- uh wait, what was it after that? Ah, yes. Right, right, left, right, left, left, right… So it’s right, left, left, right, right- no, that’s not it either… This is impossible!’, he grumbled, shooting Jimin a dirty look. 

The younger patted his shoulder. 

‘Don’t worry hyung, you’ll get it someday. At least you know the way out, right?’ 

He did, Yoongi thought and then he froze, frowning. 

What was it again? 

Jimin watched him, eyes wide and innocent. ‘You do know it, right, Yoongi-hyung? Can you tell me?’ 

Yoongi groaned, realization hitting him. Jimin had confused him so much that he had forgotten the way out, too. 

‘I can’t’, he growled, ‘and you know it.’ 

Jimin laughed. ‘Sorry, hyung. You fell for it so nicely. It’s not that easy after all, huh?’, he grinned. 

Yoongi gave him a determined glare. ‘I’ll figure it out, you’ll see.’ 

Jimin nodded solemnly. ‘Sure, hyung. Whatever you say.’ 

They stared at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing. 

‘You’re a menace’, Yoongi said fondly. 

‘It comes with the territory’, Jimin grinned. ‘Consider that Yoongi’s Life Lesson number two: How to distract people enough to make them forget what’s important.’ 

Yoongi gave him a blank look. ‘What are you now, a trickster?’ 

‘It’s called being smart, hyung’, the younger huffed. 

‘Sure, Jimin. Whatever you say’, Yoongi mocked, eyes sparkling with amusement. 

Jimin laughed and tucked at his arm. ‘Come on, hyung, let’s grab some food. I’m starving.’ 

Yoongi really couldn’t argue with that.

-----

True to his word, Jimin made sure to keep them in populated areas at all times. Yoongi really didn’t have any time to feel scared. After they left the river, Jimin quickly guided them up to the street running parallel to it and then led them across a bridge to the other side. 

There were still a lot of people milling around here. A quick glance at his watch told Yoongi that it was already past 10 p.m. – he was surprised that the area was still so busy. 

‘It’ll probably slow down around here sometime around midnight. Lots of people like to come here after work to wind down’, Jimin explained before leading them further down the river to a more illuminated area. 

Yoongi took the time to look around. There were food stalls set up along this part of the river. Some of them had small, designated sitting areas, some simply served takeout food. A lot of the stands were decorated with colorful string lights. A wide staircase ran alongside the river, leading down to its shore. It almost looked like a little terrace right at the river, Yoongi thought. 

Music was playing softly from some well-hidden speakers, creating an almost serene atmosphere. Above head, traditional style lanterns were strung in a crisscross pattern, illuminating the food stands and stairs and reflecting beautifully on the river. 

People were sitting everywhere, at tables, on the stairs, some even down by the rivershore. Alone or in groups, eating, drinking or just hanging out – everyone seemed to simply enjoy the atmosphere. 

Yoongi wondered why he hadn’t known about this place before – it was beautiful and somewhat calming and definitely a place he could see himself relax at after a long day of work. Then again, seeing how sheltered they were, they barely had the chance to hang out anywhere after work. No wonder he hadn’t heard of this place before. 

‘Do you like it?’ 

He turned to see Jimin looking at him expectantly. 

Like was the understatement of the year, Yoongi thought. ‘It’s beautiful’, he replied, voice softer than intended. 

Jimin nodded. ‘It’s my favorite spot along the river. I’ve made a lot of nice memories here.’ 

It sounded wistful, almost yearning. Yoongi wasn’t sure if he was imagining the bittersweet undertone in Jimin’s voice. He cast him a quick glance but the younger’s face gave nothing away. He was smiling. ‘I come here whenever I need to relax or wind down. It never fails to make me feel better.’ 

Yoongi took another look around. He could get used to a place like this, he thought. It felt so serene. He couldn’t believe they were still in the bustling city of Seoul. 

‘I’ve only been here for a few minutes and I already like it a lot.’ 

‘It has that effect on many people’, Jimin said. ‘Come on, we should choose some food and find a nice spot to settle down and eat.’ 

Yoongi was about to protest but Jimin was quicker. Raising an eyebrow he looked Yoongi dead in the eye. ‘Don’t you dare, hyung. You’re going to eat and you’re going to be fine. You were fine before, too, remember? Just think of how nice it will be to eat in this atmosphere.’ 

He paused, pointedly looking Yoongi up and down. ‘I won’t take no for an answer. You’re too skinny nowadays.’ 

Yoongi blinked, taken aback by the sudden fierceness in the other’s voice. There were a lot of different sides to Jimin, he thought bemusedly. Eyeing the other from head to toe, he smirked. 

‘Who would have thought that such a tiny figure could be so bossy?’ 

Jimin gasped. ‘Tiny? I beg your pardon? I’m taller than you!’ ‘

'In your dreams’, Yoongi snickered. 

Jimin huffed in fake annoyance. ‘Suit yourself, hyung, keep living in your imaginary world.’ 

‘Sure thing! By the way, my imaginary friends think you’re delusional about your height.’ 

Jimin stared at him. ‘Hyung’, he whined before doubling over laughing. 

It really was contagious, Yoongi thought as he joined in almost immediately. Jimin’s laughter was so unrestrained and bright. It was easy to laugh along with him. Yoongi wasn’t one to laugh a lot or easily but with Jimin it just came naturally. When they finally sobered up, he turned to the younger. 

‘You’re right, I am hungry. I should eat. Or at least try. Let’s go and choose something.’ 

-----

It took them quite some time to settle on what to eat. They browsed the stands for a while, contemplating what to get. It had been a long time since Yoongi last had real street food. When they spent some time at home, he or Jin usually cooked for the pack, trying to balance a healthy diet for all of them. At work, most of the time they got catering or takeout dishes from restaurants. Every once in a while they would indulge on some fast food, too. That already was a special treat, but street food – Yoongi couldn’t remember ever having had it with his pack, at least not since they debuted. 

There was so much variety and he really was damn hungry. Yoongi had half a mind to just get one of everything and share it with Jimin. He almost snorted at that thought. That might be a bit too much after all. In the end they settled on a variety of barbecued skewers, crispy fried chicken and mung bean pancakes. They got some drinks to go along with that as well. When Yoongi reached for his wallet to pay, he was once again stopped by Jimin. 

‘Ji-’, Yoongi began, stopping himself just in time, remembering how Jimin had asked him to not use his real name in public. He was determined to pay this time, but the other just shook his head. 

‘I’ve got this one, hyung.’ 

And with that, he turned to the vendor and they haggled for a while. In the end, they agreed on Jimin picking up the vendor’s ingredients from a local market the next day. Yoongi sighed and Jimin grinned, picking up their food and urging Yoongi to come along. 

He really needed to have a talk with the beta about accepting him paying for things, Yoongi thought to himself. It’s not like he couldn’t afford it, there was no need for Jimin to take on jobs for this when he could use the time to earn something for himself instead. 

They looked around for a while before discovering a less crowded spot at the stairs. Making their way over, Yoongi gave Jimin a hard look. 

‘You have to stop doing that, you know?’ 

Jimin looked at him innocently. ‘Stop doing what, hyung?’ 

Yoongi sighed. ‘You know what I’m talking about. I can pay for stuff. Stop taking on jobs for things I could pay for. I have the money, Jimin. I’m not above using it. Let me spend it.’ 

Jimin shook his head. Yoongi was surprised that he wasn’t grinning this time. 

‘It’s fine, Yoongi-hyung. This is how things work around here for me and everyone else from the riverside community. It’s our way of payment. I can combine these two jobs, you know? I can do the deliveries for the snapback and on the way back pick up the groceries from the market. I’ll be heading over here afterwards anyway, so I can just bring them along. It’s less big of a deal than you make it out to be.’ 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘That may be so, but it still isn’t necessary.’ 

By now they had reached their chosen spot and began settling down. Taking one of the containers of food and opening it, Jimin looked at Yoongi. 

‘Hyung’, he said, ‘think of it this way: Today you are my guest. And that entails me providing the entertainment and the food. I wanted you to know how things work around here, how I live, how the people in my community live. And I think you wanted to know, too, right?’ 

Yoongi nodded. 

‘See. Today is my treat. That doesn’t mean I’ll always turn you down. If you really do want to pay for me, you can invite me somewhere next time, ok?’ 

The alpha sputtered. ‘Next time?’, he asked surprised. 

Jimin frowned. ‘Unless you don’t want us to meet again?’, he asked, suddenly feeling a bit insecure. He had just assumed they would see each other again for some weird reason, but what if he was wrong? He knew very well that people like him didn’t belong in the social circles Yoongi moved in. Why would someone like Yoongi want to hang out with him anyway? It wasn’t like he had anything to offer to him after all. Jimin really couldn’t blame Yoongi if he wanted to part ways, they lived in two completely different worlds after all. 

‘No!’ 

Yoongi’s shout made Jimin snap out of his thoughts. He looked up. Yoongi was shaking his head frantically. ‘That’s not what I meant, Jimin. I want to meet again, I really do. You just caught me by surprise, I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me again.’ 

Jimin almost snorted at that. Had they really both assumed the same about each other? He grinned at Yoongi. ‘I thought the same about you.’ 

They stared at each other, groaned in unison and then couldn’t help but smile. 

‘We’re both dumb’, Jimin declared and Yoongi nodded in agreement. 

If Yoongi wanted to see him again, he wouldn’t object, Jimin decided. It didn’t fit in with his plans at all and he had sworn to himself not to let anyone close ever again. But somehow being around Yoongi made Jimin feel more at ease than he had in years. He knew it would only be a matter of time until they would have to part ways for good. And he knew that if he let himself get attached to Yoongi now, it would hurt much worse when that time came. 

He really shouldn’t do this, at least not for Yoongi’s sake. But was there really an alternative? It seemed like Yoongi had sought him out because he felt comfortable around him. With everything that was going on in his pack at the moment and with the trauma of the attack still mostly unresolved, Jimin reckoned that most likely Yoongi had seen him as his safest place to turn to. Who was Jimin to take that away from him? He would get hurt either way, but at least if Jimin stuck around now, Yoongi wouldn’t be all alone. By the time they’d have to part ways, the pack situation would hopefully be solved and Yoongi might even have begun to work through his trauma. He wouldn’t feel alone anymore and parting would be easier for him. 

No, Jimin thought, he wouldn’t reject Yoongi right now. Not when he so obviously needed someone and his mates weren’t doing their job. And if his decision was a tiny bit tinted by his own selfishness, not wanting to give up on Yoongi when the elder’s presence made him feel so warm, nobody needed to know, right? 

He finished unpacking the food, aligning the containers neatly on the steps they were sitting on and handed Yoongi a pair of disposable chopsticks with a wink. 

‘Treat me next time then, hyung’, he said. Yoongi grinned and nodded. 

They ate in comfortable silence for a while. Being silent with Yoongi was nice, Jimin thought. Calming. The lot was always so loud. It was such a stark contrast that he snorted involuntarily. Yoongi shot him a curious look.

‘I just thought of the kids. The ones we talked about earlier.’ The elder nodded. ‘They are always so loud. It’s so different from this. I like it, it’s a nice change.’ 

‘It’s easy to be quiet in a place like this’, Yoongi said, picking up another piece of fried chicken and gazing over the water. The lantern lights reflected in soft, blurry lines on the river’s surface and the lights of Gangnam on the other side of the river looked almost tranquil. It was a beautiful view, Yoongi thought. 

He sighed. 

‘This would have been a nice place to show to my mates’, he said softly. ‘I don’t think any of them know about it or else we would already have come here before.’ 

There was something regretful in his voice that made Jimin give him a scrutinizing look. 

‘Hyung’, he scolded softly, ‘we talked about this, remember? You’re going to talk to them. Tell them whatever you can, even if you have to be vague. Let them know you need more time to come to terms with some things. Everything will work out. Positive thoughts, remember?’ 

Yoongi did remember. And he would definitely talk to his mates. If there was even the slightest chance to make things right, he would take it. He just didn’t want to get his hopes up yet. 

‘Just think about it’, Jimin gestured behind him and then out to the river. ‘Once you talked to them and set things right, you can take them here and maybe mark a new beginning.’ 

He looked at Yoongi with hopeful eyes. Yoongi couldn’t help but smile. The beta was adorable. Humming, he nodded. ‘That’d be nice. They would love it here.’ 

A huff sounded from his right and he turned to look at the younger. 

‘Correction’, Jimin said, eyes sparkling, ‘they will love it here.’ 

And maybe, Yoongi thought, it was ok to have at least a little bit of hope. He nodded. ‘They will love it here’, he repeated.

-----

With Jimin, both silence and conversation came easily. Yoongi got to know a lot about the riverside community. That’s what they called it, Jimin told him. 

‘The main part of the community is actually on this side of the river’, he explained. ‘There are community leaders who look after everyone and see to it that the rules aren’t broken. The base is a bit further down from here. It’s mostly cardboard homes but also some other shelters. The only ones living on the other side of the river on a regular basis are me and the lot.’ 

He snorted at Yoongi’s questioning look. ‘The kids we talked about earlier. I call them the lot. They are a lot. A lot of trouble’, he sighed in fond annoyance.

Yoongi grinned. ‘So they live with you?’ 

Jimin choked on his food. ‘With me?!? Hyung, do I look suicidal to you?! I’m glad when I can avoid them during the day, why would I live with them?’ 

He shuddered at the thought of actually having to be around the lot 24/7. Nonstop. The chaos. Unbearable. He’d probably fling himself from a bridge after only one day. 

Jimin shook his head, trying to free himself from that thought. Yoongi tried hard to suppress a laugh. 

‘I can’t wait to officially meet them’, he grinned. 

Jimin sighed. ‘You’ll come to regret it, just wait. To answer your question, though. They have various spots along our side of the river where they stay, they aren’t too comfortable with staying in the same place all the time. Back when they arrived at the river, I wanted them to stay out here with the community because it definitely would be safest for them but they wouldn’t hear a word of it. So now they are located close to my place.’ 

At least Jimin wasn’t all alone on his side of the river, Yoongi thought. ‘They’ve been here for long?’, he wanted to know. 

‘About three years now. It was a huge drama when they first arrived. As was to be expected of them, really.’ 

Yoongi pondered that. If the kids had been around for three years already and Jimin had taken care of them ever since – and from everything Yoongi had learned about them so far he was pretty sure that was exactly what had happened – then Jimin had been living out here for even longer. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that and he was even less sure if he should ask him about this just yet. It was a very personal topic and Jimin seemed to be a bit more closed off with personal information. Yoongi definitely didn’t want to pressure him. Still, there was one thing he really did want to know. He figured it was safe enough to ask. 

‘So you live by yourself then?’, he asked. 

Jimin stared at him, expression unreadable. ‘What is this?’, he exclaimed in mock annoyance. ‘A game of 20 questions?’ 

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders. ‘I mean, it can be, if you want it to be. I’m sure I can think of more questions for you’, he grinned at Jimin’s startled expression. ‘Seriously though, you don’t have to answer that. I was just curious, I guess.’ 

Jimin shook his head. 

‘It’s my hyungs’ place. Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung took me in when I first came here to the river years ago and I have been living there ever since. They made me promise to never bring anyone in, to keep the exact location a secret. It’s a rare thing to have a place like that, so safe and sheltered. It’s best not to spread the word about it, you never know who might hear it, after all.’ 

‘You brought me there’, Yoongi frowned. 

Jimin nodded. ‘The first time, I didn’t have a choice. We needed to get away before you collapsed. Today, I figured it didn’t matter anymore anyway. I had already brought you there once. And I also already apologized to my hyungs for that, too. It’s fine, don’t worry, hyung.’ 

Yoongi looked at him. ‘I’m really sorry if I caused you or your hyungs any trouble. I won’t say a word about that place, I promise. The secret is safe with me.’ 

‘I know it is. I trust you, hyung. You didn’t come to find me in there like the lot did even though you would have had actual reason to do so. You were looking for me after all.’ 

Those kids really seemed to be a handful, Yoongi began to realize. ‘Wait. The kids tried to find your place? Had they been there before?’ 

Jimin huffed. ‘Of course not. I told you, I promised my hyungs not to bring anyone. And I most definitely wouldn’t bring the lot, they’d move in in a heartbeat and I’d never have peace again.’ 

He sighed. ‘They knew I lived somewhere in there, though. And apparently they thought it a fun idea to explore the tunnels and try to find the place.’ 

Now that was reckless, Yoongi thought. He had only been led around in the dark by Jimin so far but even then he had realized that it was probably dangerous to venture around in there by himself. Getting lost in that maze was definitely not something on his to do list.

‘Their flashlight ran out of battery and they got lost.’ 

Of course, Yoongi thought wryly. 

‘I had to come find them in there after hours of searching for them above ground. At least they were smart enough to stop wandering around in the dark. I’m pretty sure it scared them enough, though. They promised to never venture inside again after that.’ 

‘I am beginning to understand why you are so annoyed with them at times’, Yoongi smirked. 

‘You’ll understand even better once you get to know them. They are the human version of a headache. Trust me, they won’t go easy on you. Unless they end up being star-struck but I seriously doubt that.’ 

Yoongi paled a little bit at the prospect of the five seemingly hyperactive kids zeroing in on him like they apparently did on Jimin. The younger noticed and smirked. ‘At least I won’t be their only target anymore’, he muttered, sounding oddly satisfied.

-----

It was close to midnight when they decided to make their way back. The food had long since been finished. Yoongi hadn’t known just how much he had been starving himself until they had started eating. Surprisingly, once again he hadn’t felt any nausea at all. Maybe it was because Jimin made him feel so at ease, he had thought. The food had been delicious, the perfect type of comfort food and exactly what he had needed, he decided. He wouldn’t mind having it again, especially not in this particular location. 

Most of the vendors were already packing up their stalls now. Jimin had told him that the place closed at midnight. They had stayed for as long as they could, stretches of silence being interrupted by bits of conversation. It hadn’t felt awkward at all. It had been cozy and Yoongi realized belatedly that he hadn’t felt this relaxed ever since the night of the attack. He hadn’t even thought about any of his troubles for quite a while now. 

It felt good. Hopefully things would gradually begin to look up for him from now on. Now that he knew he would be able to continue to see Jimin, to talk to him, he allowed himself to be a bit more hopeful about everything. The younger had a way of calming him down and giving him a more positive outlook that he hadn’t experienced with anyone else yet. Not even with his mates. 

Granted, they had always been there for him, they had listened to him and held him, cuddled him or sat in silence with him but none of them had ever given him advice like Jimin had. He had never felt this understood before. He was so lost in thought that he was startled when Jimin addressed him. 

‘Hyung’, the younger said, ‘where should I take you? Are you going home?’ 

Yoongi pondered. He didn’t really want to go home. Not after tonight. For the first time in what felt like forever he was feeling calm. Maybe he could even sleep well tonight. Although he knew he wouldn’t if he went back home. Being in his own bed with his pack just doors away and yet unreachable would probably take a toll on him. He didn’t want to risk that. Not tonight. 

‘I’ll sleep in my studio tonight’, he decided and at Jimin ‘s questioning look he added, ‘I haven’t felt this calm in ages. Being home but unable to be with my mates might destroy that for me. I really need to sleep, I haven’t slept well ever since that night. I’m so tired’, he sighed. 

Jimin looked at the alpha, noticing the dejected look in his eyes. ‘Will you be alright?’ He frowned when he saw Yoongi nod dimly, his earlier more uplifted mood suddenly wiped out again. 

Jimin really didn’t like seeing him like this. 

‘You can stay with me tonight, if you don’t want to be alone’, he offered. 

Yoongi’s head snapped up, he definitely hadn’t expected this. ‘I-, you- Are you sure? I don’t want to impose. What about your hyungs?’, he asked. 

Jimin turned to look back across the river, a somewhat forlorn look on his face. 

‘They won’t be there tonight’, he answered quietly. ‘You aren’t imposing, hyung. I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t ok.’ He grinned as a thought struck him. ‘You might have to use one of the common restrooms we tend to use for getting ready for the night, though. Don’t worry, I know a really nice one. We could put it down as Yoongi’s Life Lesson number four: How to make the best use of common spaces.’ 

Yoongi raised his eyebrows at that. ‘What happened to number three? So far I only remember getting a snapback at the market and you making me forget the directions for the way out of your tunnels.’ 

Jimin winked. ‘Number three was learning to relax at the riverside terrace. Guess I forgot to mention that.’ 

Yoongi smiled. ‘I’m pretty sure number three was my favorite so far then.’ 

‘Well, you never know, you might enjoy number four even more’, the beta teased him. 

‘I seriously doubt that’, Yoongi laughed. He wasn’t averse to using public restrooms, on the contrary, he had used quite a few of them early on in their career. They often had to freshen up or do their makeup there. Although those had at least been in buildings and not those out in the park style restrooms. Still, he definitely didn’t think this would become his favorite lesson.

Jimin just gave him a blank look. ‘You’ll never know unless you try, hyung. What do you say?’ 

Yoongi didn’t have to think about this. He really didn’t want to be alone tonight and Jimin had such a calming effect on him. ‘Lead the way’, he answered cheerfully, reaching out a hand for the younger before adding softly, ‘Thank you, Jimin.’ 

The beta silently took his hand and squeezed it.

-----

Using a public restroom to freshen up had indeed been an experience, Yoongi mused, thinking back to it as they made their way over to Jimin’s place. They had stopped at a convenience store first to get a toothbrush and a small towel for Yoongi. The alpha had wanted to buy the same for Jimin but the younger just shook his head, pointing at the small backpack he had been carrying ever since they had left his place and pointing out that he had everything he needed with him. 

For once, Jimin had agreed to let Yoongi pay and the elder had taken advantage of that immediately, filling his basket with snacks and drinks and small necessities he thought Jimin and his hyungs might need or appreciate. He had made sure to add some band-aids and non-prescriptive medication for different ailments as well, figuring that it could never be wrong to have stuff like this around. 

When Jimin had seen his selection, he had thrown him a weird look and Yoongi had laughed, saying he always ended up getting more than he intended to in convenience stores. He wasn’t sure if the other had believed him but he hadn’t stopped him from making his purchase, either. 

Jimin had then led them to the river park recreational area, the same one where Yoongi had met first the kids and later Jimin today. According to Jimin, the restroom close to the water playground was one of the nicest public restrooms in the area, it even had a small shower cubicle which was free of use. The beta reckoned it was intended for parents who wanted to clean up their children after they got all muddy playing around with water and sand. The riverside people liked to use the restroom during nighttime, when it was mostly void of visitors. Luckily it was always open, too. 

It really had been a quite nice restroom, modern and bright, with six big basins on one side, separated by a partition wall from the rest of the room, which held the stalls. Yoongi had expected it to smell somewhat rancid or disgusting, but to his surprise it had smelled freshly cleaned. Jimin had shown him the shower cubicle, too. It was a small extra room nestled between the male and female sections of the restroom area. 

Yoongi couldn’t help but point out how clean everything actually was. He really hadn’t expected that. Jimin had explained to him then that it was mostly the riverside people who made sure the whole place stayed clean. Apparently they had unofficially taken charge of three of the newer public restrooms on both sides of the river, one on this side and two on the other side. There was a rotation schedule of people on duty for each restroom, making sure they were kept clean. 

Every month, they all contributed to cleaning supplies, either by donating some of their earned money or by donating items. When the usual day visitors cleared out of the areas in the evening, the current restroom duty teams set out to tidy and clean them, so the community people could use them at night or, in some cases, in the very early morning. There also was a cleaning crew assigned to the restrooms by the city council but they came only twice a week and that just wasn’t enough. 

Jimin had wrinkled his nose as he had told Yoongi about some of the other restrooms in the area. Not that Yoongi needed an explanation, he knew what these places looked and smelled like normally. 

Once again he was impressed with how efficient this little community seemed to be. They were in a way social outcasts, many people being prejudiced towards them, but they had found a way to form their own little society from what Yoongi had gathered so far – and it was nothing at all what people would expect. Yoongi was intrigued by how they made their limited options work for them, how organized they seemed and, judging from Jimin’s interaction with the vendors today, how accepted they apparently were by those working along the river. 

They brushed their teeth and washed their faces and Jimin applied some lotion because, as he told Yoongi, he had very sensitive skin and the water was a bit hard for him. It hadn’t taken them long to finish up. Jimin had made sure they wiped down the counter and basins before they left, stating that they should leave it behind as clean as they had found it, a show of respect to the other community members. 

Yoongi smiled to himself. He wouldn’t rank this lesson his favorite one but it definitely had been a very worthy experience. Somehow he couldn’t help but wonder just what other surprises this little community held in store for him.

-----

They made their way back through the tunnel slowly. This time, Yoongi didn’t try to memorize the way. He knew now why Jimin didn’t want him to know and he respected it. Jimin had given his word to his hyungs and he had already broken it by bringing him here. In no way would Yoongi create any trouble for Jimin by trying to pinpoint the exact location of the place. Still, it was really fascinating how the younger could navigate these tunnels in total darkness. Yoongi wondered how long it had taken him to get to this point. 

Reaching the room, he let go of Jimin’s hand so the other could find and turn on the flashlight. The room felt so familiar by now, Yoongi thought. It was strange, the place was so bare and in obvious need of repair, but Yoongi felt so very comfortable here. 

While Jimin rummaged around, placing another pillow and quite a few extra blankets on the mattress, Yoongi silently unpacked his convenience store bags. He put the snacks and drinks on the table, taking two bottles of water and placing them next to the mattress in case either of them got thirsty during the night. Then he took his second bag over to the chest of drawers, lining batteries, band-aids, medicine, toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo and shower lotion bottles up neatly. Lastly, he slid the convenience store gift card he had gotten at the register on a whim partly underneath the lotion bottle. It wasn’t a lot, they only sold cards with about 25.000 won value, but Yoongi still figured Jimin and his hyungs could probably make good use of it. 

If Jimin saw it now, he would most definitely refuse the card, Yoongi thought. Maybe his hyungs would talk some sense into him, making him accept Yoongi’s gift. For now it was quite nicely hidden, though. Pleased with his work, he turned around to find the beta staring at him. 

‘What are you doing, hyung?’, Jimin asked incredulously. 

Yoongi grinned. ‘Just placing some stuff here for you and your hyungs. Consider it a thank you for letting me stay tonight.’ 

Jimin kept staring at him, a frown forming on his face. ‘I told you I don’t want anything. I don’t need anything. We talked about this earlier, you are my guest, remember? This is my place and I will cater to you. Hyung, you can’t just-‘, he stopped when Yoongi put a hand on his arm. 

‘Yes, I can. As you see. And you will accept it. You have no idea how much you have done for me, not just when you saved me but also today. I know you say it’s normal but it really isn’t, trust me on that. Most people would have preferred to look the other way. I will never be able to pay you back for all of this, but I will forever try. It’s my turn now. I chose something small because I knew you would be reluctant to take anything. But this is just trivial stuff, some snacks and drinks and some daily necessities. You can definitely accept that. I know you can take care of yourself very well, I don’t doubt that for a second. I’m not giving you this out of pity, I’m giving it to you because I am grateful beyond words and I want to do something, anything, in return for you.’ 

He paused, giving Jimin a fond look. ‘Please, just let me have this, Jimin-ah.’ 

Jimin blinked. 

Jimin-ah. 

When was the last time someone had called him that? It felt so warm, so affectionate. 

He had missed it, he realized. 

So much. 

How had he gone years without hearing it? How had he not noticed how much it meant to him? 

Memories began to resurface. 

Warm hands lovingly stroking his hair. Soft lips pressing even softer kisses to his temple, whispering sweet words into his ear. Small arms circling his waist, hugging him. Strong arms holding him ever so gently. Firm hands running circles on his back, brushing away the hair from his face. 

Jimin-ah. 

It echoed endlessly through his mind. 

Jimin-ah. 

Voices he thought he had long since forgotten. 

Jimin-ah. 

Faces he longed to see so much. 

Jimin-ah. 

Memories he had kept locked away tightly. 

Jimin-ah. 

Heartbreak. 

It had been so long. 

How could a single word unravel so much? 

Jimin-ah. 

A lone tear escaped his eyes as he stared ahead blindly. A hand reached up slowly and cupped his cheek, a thumb gently wiping away the tear. 

It felt so familiar. 

‘Jimin-ah’, he thought he heard someone say. 

Jimin closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, allowing himself this small moment of comfort. 

An illusion of the past. 

Arms circled him, pulling him into an embrace and Jimin went along willingly. 

Jimin-ah. 

He had missed this so much.

-----

Yoongi wasn’t sure what had happened. One moment Jimin had been ready to argue with him about his gifts and the next moment he had blinked at him and then spaced out. He had stared at Yoongi, eyes void of any emotion. Yoongi was pretty sure that Jimin didn’t see him, he seemed to be staring right through him. 

He tried to talk to him but got no reaction at all. It was as if Jimin had simply stopped. He stood unmoving, looking off into the distance, completely unresponsive. Yoongi startled when he saw a tear escape Jimin’s eyes. This wasn’t ok, he had to make it right somehow. 

‘Jimin-ah’, he said, carefully reaching out a hand to cup the younger’s face, stroking away the tear. 

To his immense relief, Jimin slowly melted into his touch, closing his eyes, no longer staring into nothingness. 

Yoongi decided to take the risk and carefully, ever so gently, pulled Jimin into a hug, all the while whispering sweet nothings into his ear. His hands rubbed circles on his back, moving up to gently card through his hair before returning back to his waist and settling there, holding the younger in a warm embrace. 

Jimin wasn’t crying, he noticed. Whatever had happened must have triggered something in him. 

Yoongi wished he could do more to help. But he knew basically nothing about the other, he had no idea what was happening right now. All he could offer was his presence, hoping it would ground Jimin enough to bring him back from wherever his mind had currently taken him. 

‘Jimin-ah’, he repeated gently. ‘It’s alright, hyung is here.’ 

He sighed softly. 

‘You’re not alone, Jimin-ah.’ 

He felt Jimin stir lightly in his arms, hands coming up to his back, slowly squeezing back. Yoongi felt relief wash over him as he gently caressed the younger’s back. 

‘Hey, Jimin-ah’, he murmured, not wanting to spook the younger. 

Jimin sighed. 

‘Again’, he whispered almost inaudibly but Yoongi heard him nonetheless. 

‘Hm?’, he hummed questioningly, not sure what Jimin was trying to say. 

‘Call me that – again’, Jimin repeated, voice still barely above a whisper. 

‘Jimin-ah?’, Yoongi tried and the younger all but melted into his arms.

‘I’ve missed it so much’, he choked out. 

‘You did?’, Yoongi asked and when Jimin nodded warily, he smiled. 

‘I can call you that from now on, if you like?’ 

He felt Jimin relax even more. 

‘Please’, he sighed softly. 

Yoongi squeezed him a little tighter. 

‘It will be my pleasure, Jimin-ah.’

-----

They stayed like that for quite a while, Yoongi holding Jimin in a tight embrace, muttering sweet nothings and adding in the occasional ‘Jimin-ah’. It really seemed to ground Jimin. 

Silently Yoongi wondered if it had been this affectionate term that had sent Jimin over the edge in the first place. He hadn’t meant to trigger something for the younger, but he also had had no way of knowing what would happen. One thing Yoongi knew for sure now, though. Something had happened in Jimin’s past that still hurt him today. 

Yoongi was no stranger to that. He vowed to himself that he would do whatever he could to help Jimin, no matter how long it would take for the beta to open up to him. Yoongi had time, he could be patient. He knew how hard it could be to open up about something after all. 

Slowly, Jimin began to stir and Yoongi released his grip on the younger, giving the other the chance to pull out of the embrace at his own pace. When Jimin finally looked at Yoongi, his eyes were back to normal, if a little bit guarded. 

‘I’m really sorry’, he muttered. ‘I don’t know what came over me, I’m not usually like this.’

Yoongi could tell that the younger felt uneasy about the situation so he decided to lighten up the mood a bit. ‘Yeah, I noticed that’, he grinned and Jimin looked at him, surprise turning into realization and then gratefulness. 

‘If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here to listen’, Yoongi offered. 

Jimin nodded. ‘I don’t think I’m ready for that but I will keep it in mind. Thank you’, he said. 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘Nothing to thank me for. Do you still want me to call you that?’, he asked, wanting to make sure that they were on the same page here.  

‘I would really love it, hyung.’ 

Yoongi smiled, ruffling the younger’s hair. 

‘Alright then, Jimin-ah.’ 

A soft smile made its way on Jimin’s face. He cast a look around. 

‘We probably should get some rest. I have errands to run in the morning’, he muttered, making his way over to the mattress. Yoongi nodded, following him. He had no fixed schedule tomorrow but he probably should at least try to work on some songs at some point. Probably in the afternoon, he never liked being in the studio during early morning hours much. A thought struck him. 

‘I’ll come and help you.’ 

Jimin, who had been in the process of getting settled, looked up at him in surprise. Yoongi grinned. 

‘Consider it my Life Lesson number five: How to run errands around the riverside community.’ 

Jimin couldn’t help but grin back. ‘Are you sure about that, hyung? You really don’t have to do this, you know.’ 

But he wanted to, Yoongi thought. He wanted to get to know that aspect of Jimin’s life and he wanted to help the younger with his tasks as much as he could. 

‘I know’, he said, smiling. ‘But I want to.’ 

Jimin nodded. ‘Ok then, Yoongi-hyung. Lesson five has been scheduled for the early morning. Now come and settle down so we can get at least a few hours of sleep before we set out to work.’ 

Yoongi didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed the flashlight from the table, brought it to the mattress with him and handed it to Jimin before settling to his right, quickly finding a comfortable position. Once they were both snuggled under some blankets, Jimin shoved the flashlight somewhere above their heads and turned it off. 

They gravitated towards each other naturally, coming together in a soft embrace, each trying to give the other the support he needed. 

‘Good night, Yoongi-hyung’, Jimin breathed against the elder’s neck. 

‘Sweet dreams, Jimin-ah’, Yoongi whispered into Jimin’s hair. 

It didn’t take long for either of them to fall into a deep and restful sleep.

Chapter Text

The boy was running. 

He had left the orphanage just this evening and it felt like he had been on the run ever since, trying to get as far away as possible before anyone noticed that he was missing. The night was dark and quiet and the streets mostly empty. It had surprised him that a city as big and bustling as Seoul could be this abandoned at night. Not daring to stop anywhere, he had darted through streets and alleys without having the slightest idea where he actually was or, even worse, where he was headed. 

All he had wanted was to get away. Away from the lingering looks that had become more and more intense the closer he got to presenting. Having seen how betas and omegas were treated at their orphanage, he had hoped with all his might that he would present as an alpha. He had already had a taste of what would be in store for him if he didn’t, the bruises littering his body could speak volumes of that. Not to mention the hands that liked to wander all over his body. 

He shuddered at the thought and pushed it back into the furthest corner of his mind, trying to shut it out. Even as an alpha, he would have had a hard time at the orphanage. But at least they wouldn’t have gone any further than they already had. Or so he liked to believe.

It didn’t really matter though. He knew now that he wouldn’t present as an alpha and judging from the lingering looks of the people in charge at the orphanage they had already realized it as well. He had had no other choice but to get out now. Actually, he had been lucky to still have been able to get out. There had been others who had suddenly been confined to their rooms for the last few weeks before their presentation, presumably because they had fallen ill. 

The boy scoffed. Everyone knew it wasn’t true. One look at those kids after their returned was enough for everyone to know what really happened. The boy had seen enough of his peers returning without the slightest spark of life in their eyes, broken and impassive. He knew what was going on. Everyone knew, yet there was nothing that could be done about it. The one time a boy had actually had the guts to talk about it to higher ups, he had disappeared for weeks before returning, more broken than anyone else at the orphanage. 

Nobody had ever dared to speak up again after that. And in the back of the boy’s mind, an emergency plan had formed. He had spent the last two years cultivating it, putting aside as much of his meager allowance as he could, studying the orphanage layout vigorously, keeping track of all property entrances, when each of them was locked and unlocked, how they were guarded, when and where there were ground patrols. Over the past few weeks, whenever he had found the time and had not been under supervision, he had secretly worked on loosening some of the fence planks towards the back of the property. It had been a tedious task, especially without any tools and while having to act inconspicuously, but eventually he had managed to loosen three of them enough to be able to open up a gap that would allow him to slip through when the time came.

The time had come today, quite unexpectedly. At dinner they had been informed that there was an extraordinary staff meeting and that all supervised activities would be cancelled for the rest of the evening. The boy had rushed to grab the small emergency backpack he had kept in his closet ever since he had started to plan his escape and had then watched the garden for quite a while from the window in their room, checking if any patrols were out. 

There had been none. Quietly, he had slipped outside, heart beating frantically as he scanned his surroundings for any authorities. If they caught him now, it would definitely be over for him. 

But the garden had been empty and it had only taken him a few seconds to slip through the fence and replace the planks. For a moment he had just stood there on the street, wondering what he would do now. Then his survival instinct had kicked in and he had quickly slipped into one of the back alleys before breaking into a run.

And just like that, he had been running almost all the time. Whenever people were around, he slowed down enough to not draw attention to himself. As soon as he was alone again, he would break into another sprint. 

The boy had no idea where he was going. It’s not like he could just turn to someone for help, he was a runaway after all. If authorities were to find him, they’d most likely just hand him back over to the orphanage and that was something he could not risk at all. So he had to keep a low profile. 

Would they even look for him? Would anyone bother with an unpresented kid who suddenly disappeared from a rundown orphanage in one of the shabbier parts of Seoul? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he couldn’t take any risks. He had to keep running, no matter how tired he was.

And yet – no matter how much determination he had, he was just a thirteen year old boy, after all. The initial adrenaline rush of having made it out of that horrid place and the urge of having to get away as far as possible were slowly being replaced by exhaustion and insecurity. What would he do now? And when would it be safe for him to stop and take a break? He must have been on the run for hours on end now and he felt himself slowing down considerably. Wasn’t there anywhere safe enough for him to rest at least for a little while?

He darted through another alley, crossed a street, took a left and stared at the open area in front of him. The river. Dread washed over him as he realized that this area was wide open with few spots to hide. His eyes scanned over his surroundings. He should turn back into the alleys, find a place to hide there. The riverside just wasn’t safe. Unless- 

His eyes zeroed in on the bridges in the distance. Maybe he could find some shelter under one of those? It was worth a try, he figured. At least there would be less people crossing under these bridges in the middle of the night than through the streets and alleys. Hopefully.

Eventually, he settled under a smaller bridge that looked less frequented. He just couldn’t move any further, his head was pounding, he had a hard time catching his breath and he was utterly exhausted. More or less collapsing on the ground, he reached into his backpack to grab some of the snack bars he had put in there months ago.

He couldn’t find any of them, though. 

With a frown, he dug deeper into the bag, pulling out his flashlight to take a closer look. He hadn’t wanted to use it, fearing that it might draw attention to him, but he was hungry and tired and he needed his snack bars now. Rummaging through his backpack, he realized that they really weren’t inside. And neither was  the envelope with money he had hidden in there. Instead, his hands found a little post it note which read:

‘Thought we told you not to hide your stuff from us.
What’s yours is ours, don’t ever forget that again.’

There weren’t any names on it. They weren’t needed, either. The boy knew it had been his roommates who had taken his stuff. It hadn’t been the first time; they had exerted their power over him ever since he came to the orphanage almost seven years ago. He had made sure to give them the biggest part of his allowance every month, only keeping the tiniest bit for himself to stock up on the stuff he needed for his escape. They had never once touched the backpack before. 

Until now, apparently.

The boy felt like crying. Why now of all times? What was he supposed to do without even the minimum amount of food he had packed? Without the small amount of money he had managed to put aside to help him tide over in the beginning? He couldn’t even buy himself a snack now, he had literally nothing. Would he have to starve out here? What even was his alternative? Go back to the orphanage and succumb to whatever fate they had in mind for him? Endure the looks, the touches and everything else that would come after his presentation? 

Fear gripped his heart tightly and he shivered violently. Tears welled up in his eyes as the memories of the looks and touches returned full force. Wrapping his arms around his knees, the boy cried, helplessly drowning in a panic attack.

Chapter Text

Once again Jimin woke up to a faint scent of whiskey and coffee. A smile slowly formed on his lips as he nuzzled deeper into the arms that were holding him. There was no denying it, he had missed this. Yoongi’s scent was so comforting. 

The alpha’s scent blockers must have begun to wear off again overnight, Jimin mused. He wasn’t at all sorry for that, he really had missed Yoongi’s scent. His wolf keened as Jimin inhaled deeply, trying to take in as much of it as possible. 

It was nice waking up like this. Still, Jimin wondered if he wasn’t making the biggest mistake possible. He really shouldn’t let anyone get this close, it would only end up hurting so much worse in the end. 

He had already gone softer with the lot. It had never been his intention but he couldn’t help it. As much as they did annoy him, they were just too adorable and they obviously cared for him a lot. 

Jimin wasn’t stupid, he knew they considered him to be their family. It was his own fault, really. Right from the beginning he shouldn’t have let them get close to him. But they had reminded him so much of himself and their initial mistake of raiding the community had made it difficult to put them in anybody else’s care back then. By the time that would have been possible, they had already attached themselves to him too much. 

And Jimin had remembered very well how scared he himself had been of ultimately being rejected by his new hyungs when they had just taken him in. For the longest time he had been so afraid that his trust would turn out to be misplaced. There was no way he could have done that to the lot, he could never have refused them whatever comfort or security they seemed to find in his presence. And so he had let it happen; had let them get closer but at the same time always kept them at an arm's length. When the time would come for them to part, he wanted it to hurt as little as possible. Especially for them. 

He already knew it would be hard. Despite all his efforts, they had inadvertently grown on him over the years. If he was being totally honest with himself, he adored them. They were his cute little dongsaengs and he was proud of how far they had come. Even though they really annoyed the heck out of him most of the time. Maybe that was part of their charm. 

He had figured out early on that annoying him was their way of showing their affection for him. Probably because he was so stand-offish with them. It was kind of endearing and Jimin would be lying if he denied enjoying the special treatment they’d come up with for him. The lot was pretty persuasive and Jimin just couldn’t help but let his guard down around them lately. They deserved it for always putting up with his closed off persona. He had never shown them how much he appreciated them before, after all. It was time to give something back. 

Besides, if he had had any doubts about whether letting them get a bit closer was right or not, they were totally erased when he saw how their eyes lit up when he had told them that he trusted them. They had been so obviously happy to hear that. For that alone it definitely had been worth it, he decided.

Jimin buried his face in Yoongi’s neck. As if the lot getting closer to him wasn’t enough already, now there was Yoongi as well. They were definitely growing closer, maybe even closer than Jimin had become with the lot in the past three years. 

This wasn’t good at all. 

Still, Jimin knew that he couldn’t back out now. Not anymore. Not after Yoongi had called him Jimin-ah. 

Something in him had snapped when he had heard the familiar endearment. One of the iron chains that he had wrapped so tightly around his heart had burst under the pressure of emotions that had suddenly surged through him. 

Jimin had no idea how that had even been possible. He had made sure to lock everything away tightly, nothing was supposed to get through. 

Nothing had ever gone through. Not in all those years. At least not since- no, he wouldn’t think about that. 

Yesterday had been painful enough. His defenses had never failed him before. Years of practice and experience had taught him how to keep himself together at all cost and to not let anything get to him. 

And yet. 

Yet, with a single word, Yoongi had done exactly that. Jimin couldn’t remember ever having had such a raw, painful flashback. It had hurt so much, hearing that endearment. 

Jimin-ah. 

Bittersweet, Jimin thought to himself. 

That’s what it had been. 

And still, he wanted to hear it again, longed to hear it again. 

To make new memories with it.

Happy memories. 

At least for now, maybe it was ok to hold on a bit tighter, even if he knew it wouldn’t last. 

A thought struck him. 

Maybe, just maybe, Yoongi would get along well with the lot. It would be a relief, he thought. That way, when the time came for him to leave, they would at least have each other to find comfort in.

He should introduce them soon, he decided. 

Jimin sighed softly against the elder’s chest. They would have to get up soon if they wanted to be on time for the errands he took on the day before. Not that he minded getting up early, he was used to it. That really wasn’t the problem. 

It was just – this was so comfortable and Jimin wanted to savor as much of it as he could. 

His mind wandered back to the day before. It was surprisingly easy to be around the alpha, he thought. Jimin enjoyed Yoongi’s company a lot. The elder was calm, friendly and funny and it was just so much fun to tease him. Jimin smiled at the memory of their banter. 

Inhaling the other’s scent deeply one last time, he carefully freed himself from Yoongi’s arms and slowly got up. He might as well let Yoongi sleep a little bit longer while he himself got ready, he decided. The alpha was sleeping so peacefully. He definitely needed that sleep. Jimin wished he wouldn’t have to wake him up at all; could let him sleep in until he was fully rested. But he couldn’t just leave him behind here by himself and he did have errands to run after all. 

Turning to his water bucket he realized that they hadn’t brought in any fresh water the day before. He usually did that sometime in the afternoon, when he returned for a short rest before going about his nighttime business. But yesterday his whole schedule had been overthrown. 

He contemplated for a moment. Getting water now would mean leaving Yoongi behind and that wasn’t an option. He supposed they could just go back to the restroom to wash their faces and brush their teeth but it would be a bit out of their way. His gaze fell on the water bottles Yoongi had brought in for them last night. That would do, he supposed, grabbing one of them and moving over to his improvised washing station. It actually only consisted of two buckets, one for fresh water and one for used water. With the restroom available to them, there really wasn’t much need for anything else. 

Going through his morning routine, Jimin mused about the gifts Yoongi had brought in last night. He had been a bit surprised by the amount of stuff Yoongi had bought at the convenience store but he hadn’t really suspected anything. He just figured the alpha might be using the chance to stock up on stuff he was running out of at home. Of course he had been wrong. He should have known Yoongi would pull something like that, he had been so eager to pay for something all day. 

Jimin glanced over the selection of necessities Yoongi had placed so neatly on the chest of drawers. For him and his hyungs, Yoongi had said. 

His heart clenched at the thought. He hadn’t expected that at all. Jimin had only mentioned his hyungs to the other once and yet he had remembered. The elder was so thoughtful. Maybe this one time he would let it slide and just accept the gifts. Yoongi had a point, it was all just daily necessities and Jimin could easily have afforded all of this himself. If the small gesture made Yoongi feel better, he supposed he could play along with it. 

Finishing up his routine, he made his way back over to the mattress. It was time to wake Yoongi up.

-----

There were fingers carding through Yoongi’s hair. It felt nice, he thought sleepily, leaning his head back slightly to press into the comforting touch. Someone chuckled, then another hand began to shake him lightly. 

‘Hyung, you have to wake up.’ 

He flipped onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillow. 

‘Not yet’, he groaned, determined to go back to sleep. He was way too cozy, no way would he get up now. ‘ ‘s too early’, he decided and pointedly ignored the hands trying to shake him awake. 

Whoever was trying to wake him up was persistent, but persistence was something Yoongi himself had mastered to perfection. Blending out the attempts to wake him up, he slowly began to drift off to sleep again. 

Jimin stared at the elder in amusement. Apparently Yoongi didn’t like to be woken up early. He remembered that the elder had grumbled a bit about that the first time he had stayed over at Jimin’s place, too. It couldn’t be helped though, they had things to do. 

Pulling away from Yoongi, Jimin sat on his knees and contemplated his options. He supposed he could simply shake the other awake forcefully. Although that might leave him in a grumpy mood. Jimin would know, he had experience with grumpy morning people. Junseo-hyung hated being woken up early, too, and he could be quite moody about it. Maybe the method that worked on Junseo-hyung would work on Yoongi, too? 

Grinning, he got up and moved around a bit until he deemed his position just right, looming over the elder, balancing dangerously on his knees. With a screech he opened his arms and flung himself onto Yoongi’s back, arms and legs wrapping around the elder like a koala. Yoongi let out a surprised ‘Oomph’ at the sudden weight on his back and Jimin couldn’t help but giggle. He shoved his face into the elder’s neck and started to sing into his ear. 

‘I’m a koala-la-la-la, koala-la-la-la, koala-la-la-‘, he broke off and giggled again when Yoongi tried to shake him off, holding onto the alpha even tighter. 

‘Hyung, that won’t work! Didn’t you listen?’, he asked before continuing to sing in an even higher pitched voice. 

‘I’m a koala-la-la-la, koala-la-la-la, koala-la-la-la. I’m a koala-la-’  

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut the song out. He wished he could put his hands over his ears but Jimin had a tight grip on his arms. 

A tight koala grip. 

The thought crossed his mind before he could stop it. He groaned, partly annoyed and partly amused. The younger was still clinging to his back, giggling and singing nonstop. It didn’t seem like he would stop anytime soon. What a menace, he thought with a sigh and decided to give up. There were worse ways of being woken up after all. This one was actually kind of endearing. 

‘Ok, ok, I get it, I’m awake’, he interrupted grumpily when Jimin began from the beginning once again. Anything but this song, Yoongi silently prayed. 

Jimin snickered. 

‘But hyung, I wasn’t done yet’, he complained while loosening his tight grip on Yoongi. Yoongi smirked. That was exactly what he had wanted. Two could play this game, he thought to himself. 

With a sudden move, he pushed up on his arms and sat up straight, making Jimin squeak in surprise before letting go of Yoongi and falling backwards onto the mattress. In one swift motion, Yoongi turned around and began to tickle the younger. The beta burst into laughter almost immediately, trying to wriggle away from him. 

‘H-hyung, s-stop’, he finally managed to gasp between giggles. Yoongi hummed. ‘Should I, now?’ 

‘Yes’, Jimin screeched when Yoongi found an extra ticklish spot close to his ribcage. ‘Hyuuuunng’, he whined between peals of laughter and it was so contagious that Yoongi couldn’t help but burst out laughing himself, letting go off the younger and collapsing next to him. 

‘Hyung, that was so mean’, Jimin pouted, still trying to catch his breath. 

Yoongi quirked an eyebrow at him. ‘Might I remind you that you started it? I vaguely remember some weird koala trapping me and interrupting my sleep.’ 

Jimin sat up. ‘Some weird koala!’, he huffed. ‘How degrading! I am the best koala you’ll ever encounter.’ 

The alpha snorted. ‘Considering you’ll probably be the only koala I’ll ever encounter that’s not a big accomplishment.‘ 

Jimin whined. ‘Hyung, just admit that I’m the best koala! You’re awake and you’re not even grumpy!’ 

That made Yoongi pause for a moment. Jimin was right. He usually hated being woken up against his will. He was pretty sure his mates played rock, paper, scissors or something like that to determine who had to wake him up whenever he overslept. He couldn’t even blame them, he wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of his own morning wrath, either, he thought with a smirk. Somehow though, the silly banter with Jimin had left him in a good mood. 

‘There’s worse ways to be woken up, I guess’, he admitted. Jimin got up and bowed. 

‘Glad to be of service’, he grinned and then reached for one of the chocolate bars Yoongi had laid out on his table last night. Might as well have a snack while Yoongi got ready, he figured. 

‘Come on, hyung, time to get up! We have errands to run and we don’t want to be late.’ 

-----

They made their way over to the street market and found the vendor already readying his stall for the day. Jimin got the delivery details from him and then went over to grab a handcart filled with parcels. It was obvious that he had done this kind of thing many times before. To Yoongi, on the other hand, all of this was new. 

He glanced over Jimin’s shoulder at the list of addresses the vendor had given him and reached for his phone to look up the locations. It was at that moment that he remembered having muted the device the night before. 

He stiffened, guilt rushing through him. What if his mates had tried to reach him and he hadn’t noticed? He hadn’t meant to cause them any reason to worry. Inhaling deeply, he took out his phone. 

‘Yoongi-hyung?’, Jimin asked, looking worried. ‘Everything ok?’ He nodded. ‘Forgot that I had my phone muted. I really didn’t mean to keep it like that. What if they worried because they couldn’t reach me?’ He unlocked his screen and turned the volume on again. 

Jimin shook his head. ‘They didn’t reply to you, hyung. Even after they promised. You didn’t do anything wrong in muting your phone for a bit. At least it gave you the chance to step away from it all for a little while, right?’ 

Yoongi stayed silent, eyes glued to his phone. He stared at it for a few minutes as if waiting for something. Jimin let go of the cart and went to take a closer look. No messages, no missed calls. 

He watched as Yoongi sent a follow-up message to his previous, still unanswered message, telling his mates that he was out and would be in the studio later today. They waited for a minute or two but nobody seemed to be online yet. With a sigh, Yoongi pocketed his phone again. 

‘It’s barely 7 a.m. yet, hyung. They’re probably still asleep or busy getting ready for the day. Let’s wait a while for them to see it’, Jimin tried to reassure Yoongi. The alpha nodded warily. Secretly Jimin wished the other had kept ignoring his phone but he could also understand Yoongi’s need to reassure his mates. He just hoped that they would reply to him this time. For now though, maybe he could distract Yoongi with the deliveries they still had to make. 

He went back to the handcart. ‘Hyung, come on, we have work to do.’ 

He waited for the elder to catch up with him before making his way towards their first destination.

-----

They didn’t actually need a map. Yoongi thought he probably shouldn’t be surprised that Jimin knew where all of the places on the list were. As it turned out, they were mostly delivering to other vendors and store owners. They had made it to their first destination in companionable silence, Jimin handing over the respective parcel and getting his receipt sheet signed. The whole process didn’t take very long. It was on their way to the next vendor that Jimin broke the silence. 

‘We could always play a variation of that 20 question game, you know?’ 

Yoongi looked at him. 

‘I mean’, Jimin explained, ‘we still barely know each other. How about we each take turns asking questions that both of us have to answer? No obligation, though. If something is too personal or too hard to answer, we can pass.’ 

Yoongi nodded. It seemed like a good idea to get to know more about each other. ‘Go ahead, first question is yours’, he told the beta.

Jimin thought for a moment. ‘Let’s start with something easy. Favorite color?’ 

Yoongi laughed. ‘I’ve answered that in interviews way too many times.’ 

‘I wouldn’t know, hyung. It’s not like I run in social circles that read or watch idol interviews’, Jimin pouted. 

‘Fair enough. It’s white. And before you tell me that white is not a color but a shade – I don’t care. It is what it is’, Yoongi said with a determined look in his eyes. 

Jimin was amused. Technically white wasn’t a color. Apparently Yoongi had gotten corrected about that a bit too often. 

‘Shades are fine, too. Mine’s blue, I guess. Maybe black sometimes? Although that’s also a shade.’ He eyed Yoongi’s almost all black attire. ‘I would have bet you’d say black.’ 

Yoongi laughed. ‘Black is just easy. Everything goes with black.’ 

‘So you’re saying you’re bad at color coordinating? Or too lazy for it?’, Jimin teased. The alpha rolled his eyes. ‘I prefer the term I just can’t be bothered.’ 

They laughed. 

‘My turn’, Yoongi grinned. ‘Favorite food? I think I’d go with lamb skewers.’ 

Jimin thought for a moment. ‘Kimchi stew. Although it’s been a while since I’ve had that.’ 

Yoongi did take a mental note of that. One of these days he would treat the younger to his favorite dish, he decided. 

‘Alright, let’s complete this set. Favorite drink?’, Jimin asked and then immediately added ‘For me it changes, currently I like pear juice. Caramel macchiato is good, too.’ 

‘Coffee’, Yoongi said, ‘especially iced Americano. I really could use a coffee right now actually.’ 

They turned left and walked a few more meters and then Jimin suddenly stopped, grinning. He pointed at a coffee shop in front of them. 

‘Need a coffee fix?’ 

Yoongi gave him a grateful look, smiled and then disappeared inside in a flash. Jimin laughed. The alpha must have been really coffee deprived. 

He decided to sort the parcels by destination while waiting for the elder to reappear. It would make the rest of the deliveries easier. He was well into his task when a paper cup appeared in his vision. He blinked and looked up. Yoongi was sipping on what Jimin supposed must be iced Americano and was holding out a second cup to him. 

‘What’s this?`, he asked. 

Yoongi gave him a level look. ‘Strawberry mocha, what else? Didn’t you say that was one of your favorites?’ 

Jimin frowned. He was pretty sure he had said no such thing. Or had he? No, he definitely hadn’t, he decided. He didn’t even know strawberry mocha was a thing. So Yoongi must have remembered wrong. He stared at the cup incredulously, then up at Yoongi. 

The alpha laughed. ‘Come on, you didn’t really believe that, right? It’s caramel macchiato. As if I’d forget after just a few minutes.’ He urged for Jimin to take the cup. 

The beta grinned. ‘Well, considering how fast you forgot your way out of my tunnels yesterday, it was a valid assumption.’ 

‘You confused me on purpose! I wouldn’t have forgotten otherwise, I have a great memory!’, Yoongi glared at him. 

Jimin gave him a disbelieving look. ‘Really now, how am I to believe that? I have seen no proof of that so far.’ 

The elder shoved the caramel macchiato into Jimin’s hands. ‘Take this as proof number one. I’ll deliver more soon.’ 

Jimin looked at the cup. ‘I guess it’ll do for now’, he grinned before taking a sip of the hot beverage. This wasn’t something he got to drink often, he would savor it. 

‘Thank you, Yoongi-hyung.’ 

-----

They continued their rounds after the little coffee break, continuing their question game, quickly moving on from what Jimin declared to be boring everyday questions to more intricate ones. They were halfway through their delivery list and it was Jimin’s turn. 

‘So…’, he mused for a moment. ‘Do you believe in aliens, hyung?’ 

Yoongi chuckled. ‘I am mated to one.’ 

Jimin stopped dead in his tracks. Did he hear that right? He turned to look at Yoongi, who could barely hold back his laughter. 

‘What the heck, hyung?’, he declared. 

Yoongi grinned. ‘I’m talking about Taehyungie’, he clarified. ‘I told you before that he was a bit all over the place, right? It’s a nickname we gave him at some point during our early days and it just stuck. Even our fans refer to him as an alien at times.’ 

Jimin thought that this Taehyung person sounded quite intriguing. He bet he could have a lot of fun with him. At least that’s what he would expect from someone who held the nickname alien. 

‘I see’, he grinned. ‘But it doesn’t answer the question, does it?’ 

Yoongi laughed. ‘Seeing as I am biased towards Tae, I will refuse to answer this.’ 

Jimin groaned. ‘Well then, until I have met this so-called alien and was able to form my own opinion on him, I will not answer, either. Next question, hyung.’ 

Yoongi had to think for a moment. ‘Favorite word?’ 

‘People have favorite words?’ Jimin wasn’t sure he had one. Maybe once upon a time he did but nowadays? Probably not. 

‘Of course’, Yoongi exclaimed. ‘I shall just go with genius. Because that’s what I am after all.’ Jimin burst out laughing. ‘Oh, so that’s how it works?’ 

The other nodded, seemingly dead serious. Jimin considered for a while. A favorite word. Whatever could that be? 

‘I don’t think I ever thought about what my favorite word could be. Or at least not in a long time. I guess if I had to choose just like that, on a whim… Serendipity.’ 

He had no idea where that word had suddenly come from, but it felt right. It made sense, in a way, didn’t it? 

‘Serendipity?’, Yoongi asked softly. 

‘Just because’, Jimin stocked for a moment, unsure how to put it into words, ‘I guess without that I wouldn’t be here today. If my hyungs hadn’t taken me in. If the community hadn't looked after me. If the lot hadn’t decided to become the bane of my existence.’ 

If I hadn’t met you, he thought but he wasn’t going to say that one out loud. 

‘Meeting  all of them was pure coincidence but without them, I don’t know what would have become of me.’ 

Yoongi’s heart ached for the younger. He sounded both grateful and sorrowful. Once again Yoongi wondered just what the other was carrying around with him. It was obvious that he wasn’t ready to talk about it, though. He reached out a hand and gently squeezed Jimin’s arm. 

‘It’s a beautiful word with an even more beautiful meaning.’ He hesitated for a moment before he added ‘If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to me, you know?’ 

Jimin gave him a smile. ‘I know’, he said softly and stopped the cart. They had reached their next destination.

-----

The game continued on for a while. Yoongi sputtered when Jimin asked him whether he would prefer a zombie apocalypse or giant solar flares. 

‘What kind of question is that?’, he exclaimed. ‘Both are equally bad and dangerous, how can one choose between them?’ 

Jimin laughed. ‘I thought it was easy. With zombies, at least you can fight them. Shoot them in the head or something like that. It’s gory but effective. You can’t do anything to fight off a giant heat flare, though.’ 

Yoongi frowned. ‘I guess you have a point there. Although I’m not sure I would ever want to encounter either.’ 

‘Neither do I’, Jimin admitted. ‘But at least I know how to pick my enemies.’ 

The elder stared at him. ‘Is that what this question was all about?’ Jimin just grinned. ‘Maybe? You’re next, hyung!’ 

‘Alright, let’s move on from this weird apocalypse theme then. Do you have any dream you want to achieve in the near future? And what is your biggest fear?’ 

‘Hey!’, Jimin exclaimed. ‘That’s two questions, hyung!’ The other snorted. ‘Trust me, I can count, Jimin-ah. Humor me?’ 

Jimin frowned. Both were valid questions but what in the world was he supposed to answer to them? 

‘You go first, hyung’, he said, trying to buy himself some time. Yoongi nodded in agreement. 

‘As for my dream… I think I would like to go on a world tour. We’ve been talking about it for so long but it never was an option before. If it was possible at all, I’d love for it to happen after our next comeback. We’re all working so hard for it.’ 

Jimin nodded. It was a nice dream to have. Way better than his own, he thought ruefully. 

‘I’m sure you can do it, hyung! You’ll have to bring me souvenirs when you go, though.’ 

He fell silent for a moment. ‘I do have a dream that I want to achieve. It’s something I have been working hard on for a long time. But it’s...’, he stocked, shaking his head. ‘I’m sorry, hyung. It’s not something I can share.’ 

‘You don’t have to’, Yoongi reassured him before adding ‘My biggest fear…’, he paused for a short moment, ‘I guess losing my mates, my pack.’ 

Jimin nodded. This wasn’t unexpected, after all. He laid a hand on the other’s arm supportively. 

‘You won’t, hyung. Everything will turn out to be ok.’ Yoongi nodded and stayed silent.

Jimin sighed. ‘My biggest fear… It’s failure.’ 

He watched Yoongi’s head snap up to him, a questioning look in his eyes. 

‘Failure in general is something I don’t really deal with well. I’m kind of a perfectionist, I guess?’, he shrugged. ‘But what I really fear is failing to achieve my dream. It’s-‘, he broke off, wide-eyed. What was he thinking, telling Yoongi about this? This was his business, not meant for anyone else to know. He really needed to work on keeping his defenses in check around the alpha, he thought grimly. 

‘You ok, Jimin-ah?’, Yoongi interrupted his thoughts, concern evident in his voice.

Great, now he had made the alpha worry, too. Jimin nodded. ‘I’m fine, hyung. It’s just something I really can’t talk about. I’m so sorry.’ 

A hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed it. ‘Why do you apologize? Remember, we set rules for this. Only answer what you are comfortable with.’ 

‘But I keep letting you down, hyung.’ 

The elder shook his head. ‘That’s nonsense, Jimin-ah. We all have things we don’t want to or can’t talk about. And you did answer me, didn’t you? It’s quite alright, baby chick.’ 

Jimin sputtered indignantly. Yoongi smirked. That had indeed had the desired effect on the younger. 

‘B-baby chick?! What on earth, hyung? Why?’ He glared at the alpha.

‘Well, your sweater is all yellow and you are tiny so I thought it was a good fit’, Yoongi mused. ‘Or am I wrong?’ 

‘I am not tiny! And if I am a chicken, then- then you are a cat!’, Jimin exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Yoongi who blinked in surprise. 

‘I thought you weren’t familiar with anything idol related? You didn’t even know about Tae being called an alien. How come you know about this?’ 

‘Huh? What do you mean, hyung?’ 

Yoongi stared at him. ‘The cat thing, obviously. How do you know about it?’ 

For a moment Jimin was confused. What did Yoongi mean? What cat thing? Then it dawned on him. 

No way. 

A sly grin made its way onto his face when he realized that he had accidentally called Yoongi something that he was already associated with. 

‘I don’t know what you are talking about, hyung? You just called me a chick so I named the first animal I thought of when I looked at you.’ It wasn’t even a lie, either, Jimin thought.

Yoongi groaned. ‘You think I look like a cat?’ 

Jimin stepped a bit closer, pretending to take a better look. ‘Hmmm’, he mused, squinting his eyes. ‘I mean, your eyes are pretty much cat-like, aren’t they?’ 

Yoongi sighed in defeat. 

‘I can’t believe it’, he grumbled. 

It made Jimin burst into laughter. ‘Come on, hyung! Cats are cute!’ 

The alpha perked up at that. ‘So you think I’m cute?’, he asked, watching in amusement as Jimin’s face turned utterly red. 

‘No! I- I mean, yes but that’s not-, I mean, no- You’re not-, I didn’t-, I- Maybe? Hyung!’ 

Yoongi patted his shoulder. ‘Breathe, Jimin-ah’, he said, laughing. ‘I’m sorry but your reaction was just hilarious.’ 

He bent over, shaking with laughter.  

Jimin stared at the alpha and huffed. Who knew the elder could be such a menace himself? He would get his revenge for this. 

Plotting his next question, he looked around, a devilish smile forming on his face when he found exactly what he needed. It really would have surprised him if he hadn’t found it, he thought wryly. Turning to Yoongi, he waited patiently for the other to calm down from his fit of laughter before attacking. 

‘So, Yoongi-hyung, are there any people on your immediate torture list?’ 

‘Now that’s an easy one. Haters!’, Yoongi answered immediately. ‘There’s so many people out there who keep attacking us for no reason, claiming we plagiarize, buy our own records, call us talentless, overrated… We usually try to stay away from it but sometimes it does come crashing down on us.’ 

Jimin hadn’t known idol life could be so toxic. Couldn’t people just let others be? What did they gain from accusations like this? Before he could say anything, Yoongi interrupted his thoughts. 

‘What about you, Jimin-ah? Any people you would like to torture?’ 

Jimin stayed silent until Yoongi looked at him. Then he turned to meet his gaze, nodded and pointed at the billboard sign across the street. He watched as Yoongi turned to take a look, stared, squinted, blinked and stared again. It cost Jimin all his willpower not to burst out laughing right then and there. 

‘I- I’m not sure I understand’, Yoongi finally said, turning to look at Jimin questioningly. With feigned innocence Jimin turned to stare up at the billboard sign as well. It held a huge advertisement for BTS, all of them as annoyingly good-looking as always. 

‘You don’t know them, hyung? Apparently they are like one of the biggest bands out there right now. I can’t believe you haven’t heard of them! You must have been living under a rock, hyung.’ 

Jimin had to fight hard not to grin. He somehow felt like he was channeling the lot with these words. 

‘You see’, he continued, turning to Yoongi who was staring at him in evident confusion, ‘I told you before that I’m not really much into this whole idol world thing, right? It’s just not something we deal with in our everyday lives. So I literally have no idea what’s going on there. Or who is who for that matter.’ 

He sighed theatrically.

‘But then a few weeks ago there was this incident which made me become aware of exactly this one group. And hyung, believe me’, his voice rose an octave, ‘since then I haven’t gone a single freaking day without being reminded of them!’ 

He stared at Yoongi indignantly. 

‘Can you imagine that? Here I was, living peacefully, blissfully unaware of them even existing and now, suddenly, everywhere I go, they are already there?! Like this billboard sign, for example. Newspaper or magazine covers. LCD screen commercials. They even were the headline when I opened the internet browser on a library computer! Their merchandise is everywhere and whenever I enter a store, for sure one of their songs plays somewhere in the background or one of their music videos is up on a screen. Then there’s the posters plastered all over the city. They. Are. Literally. Everywhere!’ He gestured wildly around himself with flailing arms and raised his voice.

‘And on top of that- Hyung, can you believe this? If I somehow am lucky enough to manage and avoid all of that, you can be sure that someone around me will begin talking about them. They are literally not giving me a break at all! So if I had to choose someone to put on my torture list, it would definitely be them because they are torturing me, too’, he ended with a groan and then heaved a huge sigh, arms finally falling to his side. 

Yoongi blinked. 

Once. 

Twice. 

Jimin thought that he deserved an award for the performance he had just put on. If only someone had recorded it. He bet the lot would have loved to see this. They probably would have been proud of his acting skills. 

He peered at the elder. Yoongi was still staring at him, processing what he had just heard. Jimin decided that maybe he could say something nice about the band as well. 

‘And you know what the worst thing is, hyung?’, he began, suppressing another grin when he saw Yoongi jump a little. 

‘It’s the fact that they are all so damn good-looking. Really, have you seen them? That should be illegal! Then there’s their music. I haven’t heard a lot of it yet, but from what I have heard so far, it’s damn good. Like, there’s meaning in the lyrics but the songs are also the catchy type of good. And so far I have yet to hear a bad song? How is that even possible? Oh, and their voices! They have the audacity to have some of the most unique voices in this one group? And those rappers of theirs spit fire like there’s no tomorrow. Can’t they just be average at something? And don’t even get me started on their dancing because from what I have seen so far, they are like top tier. That’s levels some top dancers can only dream of achieving! They make the hardest choreographies look like a piece of a cake.’ 

He shook his head. 

‘That’s really not ok, hyung. They are way too perfect, it shouldn’t be allowed. Something has to be done about that. They really do need to chill, they are crushing every normal person’s self-esteem with their talent. Don’t you agree that they deserve the spot on my torture list?’, he asked, giving Yoongi a stern look. 

Yoongi startled. ‘I don’t-, I mean, that’s not even-‘, he stuttered.

‘It’s not what, hyung? Don’t tell me you are siding with them?!’ 

Yoongi gawked at him. ‘That’s not what I-, I mean- Jimin-ah, that’s not comparable at all!’ 

Jimin burst out laughing. 

‘That’s what you get for cornering me’, he exclaimed gleefully. ‘Hyung, you should have seen your face!’ 

Yoongi sighed, glaring at Jimin. ‘I’m honestly not sure whether I have just been insulted or complimented.’ 

That mad the younger laugh even harder. He plopped down on the floor, clutching at his sides. 

Yoongi couldn’t help but grin. He had been right, he thought. Jimin definitely could be a brat when he wanted to be. Crossing his arms, he loomed over the other, waiting for him to calm down. 

‘I’m not gonna lie, hyung’, Jimin was still a little out of breath, ‘it is kinda distracting to see your faces everywhere. Especially yours, since I know you personally. But I meant what I said. I am not up to date with idol or music business and it’s not like I have any means to look up your songs or music videos but from what I've seen and heard so far, you guys are really, really talented.’ 

Jimin meant it. As much as it annoyed him to be constantly reminded of the band and especially of Yoongi (because his wolf got annoyingly giddy every single time he saw a picture of him), he genuinely liked the music he had heard so far. 

He looked up at Yoongi. ‘I might become a fan.’ 

A big smile made its way on the elder’s face. 

Cute, Jimin thought before mentally slapping himself. Why did he always get so distracted with Yoongi? That man was mated! Plus, Jimin wasn’t in a position to pursue a relationship anyway. This really needed to stop. 

He looked up when Yoongi reached out a hand and helped him getting up from the sidewalk. 

‘Thank you, Jimin-ah. That means a lot to me.’ 

And it did, Yoongi thought. Of course he was happy they were successful, but hearing the beta say that he thought they were good and that he liked their music was different. 

Somehow it felt important, Yoongi thought to himself.

-----

It didn’t take them long to deliver the rest of their parcels after that and soon they reached their final stop. 

‘We’re here’, Jimin said, taking the last box from the handcart. ‘This one’s upstairs. Would you mind waiting here with the cart, hyung?’ 

Yoongi nodded and watched Jimin walk off. The younger was pretty efficient, he thought. He looked around the unknown area. It looked like a neighborhood shopping district. Yoongi couldn’t remember ever having come here before. 

He hummed under his breath. It hadn’t even been 24 hours and yet he had already gotten to know about so many new parts of the city. There really was a lot he didn’t know about. In a way, he felt free. Being able to explore like this was refreshing. He never liked being so sheltered and cut off from everything but he hadn’t realized just how much he had missed being able to just be himself. And he had found so many interesting places, too. Like this neighborhood. 

It was a nice area, he decided. A bit further down the road was what looked like a really cozy little café, a bookstore nestled right next to it. Maybe he should take some pictures. Who knew when he’d get the chance to experience something like this again, after all. He would start with the café place, he decided and reached for his phone.

-----

Jimin took longer than planned because the store owner decided to check the whole delivery for completeness and flaws before signing the receipt sheet. He really should have expected it. This particular merchant has always been more thorough than the others. Even though Jimin had been bringing the same deliveries to him for years now. Usually he didn’t mind, but today he wasn’t alone on his errands. He just hoped Yoongi wouldn’t think he had abandoned him. 

After the store owner had deemed that he had gotten everything he had ordered in pristine condition and had signed the receipt, he had gone over his next order with Jimin, asking the beta to pass it on. When they were finally done, Jimin all but bounced back outside. He came to an abrupt halt when he spotted the lonely handcart in front of him. For a split second he thought Yoongi really had left. Then he noticed the figure sitting on the sidewalk next to the building’s entrance. 

Yoongi was leaning against the wall, phone in his hand, staring at the screen blankly. Irritation began to build up in Jimin. He was sure he knew what that was all about. Slowly he made his way over to the elder and settled down beside him. Yoongi didn’t even seem to notice him. 

Jimin cast a quick glance at the phone screen. Maybe he shouldn’t, he thought. It was a private matter after all. But how was he supposed to help Yoongi if he didn’t know? And so he looked.

Apparently Yoongi had taken a picture of the café and bookstore a bit further down the road and sent it to his pack. The caption read 

‘Wouldn’t it be a nice place to go someday? We could just hang out and relax and Joonie could browse for all the books he wants.’ 

Cute, Jimin thought to himself. Then his eyes fell on the next line. 

Read by 5. 

There was no answer. 

Again. 

Jimin was seething. Whatever the pack’s problem with Yoongi was, this was not the way to solve it. Hadn’t he been through enough already? Did they even care for him at all? At this point he really wasn’t sure anymore. Why would they give him such a silent treatment? Were they that intent on hurting him? 

He stared at the screen for a while, silently willing at least one of them to write something, anything. For Yoongi’s sake. But nothing came. Instead, something wet dropped onto the screen. 

Jimin looked at Yoongi. Silent tears were running down his face. This was different from the desperate sobs of last night. Jimin could practically feel the pain radiating off the elder. 

No, he thought bitterly. This was not ok at all. 

He reached over and wiped the tears from Yoongi’s face. 

‘Hyung’, he whispered. ‘Look at me?’ 

It took a moment before Yoongi reacted. He looked so sad, Jimin thought, remembering what Yoongi had said about his biggest fear. Losing his mates. 

Inwardly he cursed the pack. Yoongi had finally gotten some real sleep, he was finally beginning to open up about that night, had finally begun to try and move on and all they could do was play emotional ransom with him? Because fuck it, that was exactly what this was and if Jimin could, he would find them right now and give them hell about it. 

How dare they treat their own mate like this? What were they, petty little kids? Granted, he didn’t know them but what else could they be judging by the way they acted towards their own mate? 

He felt Yoongi shiver under his touch and focused on him. Slowly he reached one hand out and took the phone from Yoongi’s shaking hands, turning off the screen and putting it aside. 

‘It’s alright, hyung’, he said soothingly. ‘Everything will work out once you talk to them.’ 

To be honest, Jimin wasn’t all too sure about that anymore. But there was no way he could say that to Yoongi. And the elder had yet to talk to his pack. Things might still turn around. It was like Hajun-hyung always said: As long as there were options, there was hope. 

‘Honestly, hyung? They act like immature, spoiled brats. That’s not the right way to handle conflicts. If something is bugging them, they should tell you. They aren’t little kids anymore after all, right?’ 

Yoongi stared at him. It almost sounded as though Jimin was angry. That couldn’t be, could it? Why would he get angry about something like this? He barely knew Yoongi anyway and it wasn’t his problem. Well, he frowned, maybe he somehow had made it the younger’s problem by being so affected about it. He really didn’t mean to burden Jimin with this, though. 

‘I’m sorry’, he mumbled. 

‘No, hyung. You have nothing to apologize for. Not to them and not to me. You’re doing the best you can and you are doing great’, Jimin spoke pointedly, making sure to show Yoongi that he really meant what he was saying. ‘Maybe there are some communication issues that were triggered by your trauma, but again, that isn’t your fault. We don’t choose how something like this affects us. If anyone is to blame, it’s your mates. They should have been patient with you, they should have reassured and supported you until you are ready to talk to them.’ 

Yoongi sighed and averted his eyes. 

‘I shut them out. They moved on. It’s my fault.’ 

In lack of one of the elder’s mates being close by right now, because they would have been his first choice, Jimin seriously considered punching the wall right next to him. Those freaking idiots! 

He leaned forward, coaxing Yoongi to look at him again. 

‘Listen to me’, he said, eyes boring into Yoongi’s, channeling his own inner Hajun-hyung with all his might because Hajun-hyung was the master of being convincing and distracting. ‘You. Did. Nothing. Wrong. We talked about this, didn’t we? Whatever crawled up their asses is their fault, not yours.’ 

The crude expression made Yoongi snort involuntarily. Jimin smirked. 

‘Yah. Just because I look innocent, doesn’t mean I am. I can curse like a sailor if needed and this situation calls for it. Your mates need a reality check, hyung. They’ve been stuck up there in idol paradise for far too long apparently. Maybe we should let them spend a night in my tunnels.’ 

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe it was cruel, but he was hurting right now and the thought of his mates being stuck in the tunnels somehow felt fair. Not that he wanted them to get lost in there. Not ever. But maybe Jimin was right and they did need a little reality check. He himself had needed it, too. 

And Jimin was a great tutor, explaining to him how things worked around his community, teaching him street life survival methods, showing him new and interesting places Yoongi had never seen before. 

Maybe the others would enjoy this, too. All of them had been so disconnected from anything outside their small little world. No wonder they sucked at communication, too. They never had to deal with any bigger conflict by themselves before, all their issues had always been work-related and handled by their staff. 

He’d have to talk to them, he decided. Even if he couldn’t tell them everything, maybe it would be enough to help them get this whole situation out of the way. Maybe they all should take communication lessons from Jimin, too. 

He looked at the younger. Jimin’s gaze was worried but he was smiling reassuringly. How he always managed to pull Yoongi out of his dark thoughts was beyond the alpha. Not even his mates succeeded all the time. 

‘When I talked this out with them and we’re good…’, he paused but then decided to take the plunge, ‘Would you like to meet them? I think they could use some life lessons, too.’ 

Jimin was relieved. Yoongi didn’t seem all that hopeless anymore. Something of what he had said must have gotten through to him. Although Jimin really had no idea what exactly that could have been. He also wasn’t sure at all if he wanted to meet these people, not after the behavior they displayed towards Yoongi. But they were Yoongi’s mates, so he figured there must also be good sides about them. He wouldn’t really know unless he gave them a chance. 

Jimin smirked. 

‘Those life lessons are usually really expensive, hyung’, he teased. ‘But since they seem to be emergency cases, I guess I can make an exception for them.’ 

Yoongi reached for the younger’s hand and squeezed it in a silent thank you before he reached for his phone and pocketed it. 

‘Are you feeling better, hyung?’, Jimin asked, worry still evident in his voice. Yoongi nodded. ‘I will talk to them tonight. We have different schedules during the day today but everyone should be home for dinner. We can talk about this afterwards then.’ 

Jimin smiled. 

‘I’m proud of you, hyung. You’re so strong.’ 

It was still strange for Yoongi to be considered strong for something that he had considered as a sign of weakness all his life. But it felt good, he thought as warmth spread in his chest. He definitely could get used to it.

-----

Jimin took Yoongi to a suppliers market next. They had officially delivered all of their parcels and were now on to their second errand, grabbing the daily groceries for the street food vendor. Yoongi realized that Jimin had been right, the two tasks could really be combined easily. The market in question was on their way back anyway. 

They picked up vegetables, meat and fish at different stalls and Yoongi insisted on buying them some pastry because they technically had skipped breakfast. Jimin protested but Yoongi wouldn’t hear of it. The younger was a bit too skinny for his taste, although he wouldn’t ever say that to him. He figured that it probably wasn’t by choice but due to his circumstances and he didn’t want him to feel bad about it. 

Still, he decided silently, this wouldn’t continue. Not on his watch. He’d find a way to get Jimin to eat regular meals, and if he had to run errands to do so because the younger was too proud to accept Yoongi paying for him – well, then he would do exactly that. He actually had enjoyed this anyway. It was so different from his usual activities. The people were really nice and if anyone had recognized him despite the snapback, nobody had said a word about it. 

Munching on their pastries, they made their way across the river and handed over the groceries. Jimin had claimed that it wouldn’t be a problem to borrow the handcart for this and return it afterwards and Yoongi decided to believe him. He was the expert in all of this, after all. 

There were more people out and about now and Yoongi figured he would soon have to make his way to his studio. He hadn’t felt this rested and at ease in weeks. Somehow he knew that today he would be able to get some work done. It was a good thing that he had mostly studio time scheduled right now. The same went for Namjoon and Hobi. Tae, Jungkook and Jin mostly had vocal lessons and Hobi and Jungkook also had some extra dance training, seeing as they formed their official dance line. 

Yoongi liked these between comeback schedules a lot. They didn’t see each other as much as during actual comebacks but there was a certain flexibility to their schedules and they definitely also had a lot more free time. Right now, that really worked in his favor, he thought. He could get back to the studio now and maybe return to see Jimin before he went home to talk with his mates tonight. He wanted to make sure the younger would eat at least one more meal before he went home today. 

-----

Yoongi insisted on handing the handcart back to the vendor himself. Jimin had to suppress a grin at the elder’s eagerness to do so. He might be wrong of course but it seemed like Yoongi had really enjoyed himself. 

Jimin frowned. Apart from the times his mates had been assholes at least. 

Still, something in Yoongi seemed to have shifted after his breakdown in front of that last store. The younger wasn’t sure if it had been something he had said or if there was any other trigger, but Yoongi seemed to be more light-hearted now, more optimistic. It was a good thing, he thought to himself. The longer Yoongi could keep up that mood, the better. He needed to learn how to cope with what had happened, it couldn’t be erased. 

And if he managed to talk to his pack and sort whatever communication issue they had, he would hopefully get a full support system. It would help make all of this so much easier for the alpha. 

In a way, Jimin was glad that Yoongi had asked if he would meet with his mates. Granted, Jimin would probably at some point not be able to hold back and tell them just how shitty they had been to Yoongi. Something like this could not ever happen again, it bordered on toxicity and Jimin loathed it with all his heart. If the pack was willing to meet with him, he would find a way to make them understand that, he decided. 

But that wasn’t his only reason for being glad about having been asked to meet Yoongi’s mates. His wolf had keened at the idea of meeting the other pack members. Jimin wasn’t sure why and he also wasn’t sure if he wanted to deal with the way his wolf reacted to Yoongi another five times over again but it couldn’t be helped. Because meeting Yoongi’s mates after the elder settled whatever it was between them also meant that Jimin would be able to keep seeing Yoongi. 

The thought of that made Jimin feel warm. Maybe Yoongi’s mates weren’t all that bad, too. After all, Yoongi was in love with them and Yoongi himself was an amazing person. So there must be something good in his mates, too, right? Maybe they would all get along really well. 

For a fleeting moment Jimin allowed himself the idea of having a pack, too. He knew it would never be an option for him, but still. It was appealing, he thought wistfully and then shook his head. 

No. 

He really shouldn’t entertain thoughts like this. 

Trying to clear his mind, he watched Yoongi walking over to the vendor. The vendor shortly glanced over at him and Jimin nodded with a smile, indicating that Yoongi was ok to trust. After a little small talk, Yoongi handed over the receipt sheet and the new orders they had gotten and bid his farewell, making his way back over to Jimin with a big, proud smile on his face. Jimin couldn’t help but smile, too. 

‘Well done, hyung’, he said. ‘I guess that concludes lesson number five then.’ 

‘This might have been my second favorite’, Yoongi exclaimed. 

‘Oh? Well, you’re welcome to run my errands for me at any time, hyung. I don’t mind some time off every once in a while.’ 

Yoongi smirked. ‘If I do your errands, will you write my music for me?’ 

‘With pleasure, hyung. I’m sure your fans would love that new and different 'I have no idea what I’m doing style' that I could deliver for you all. Actually, I think I’m already inspired. My first song shall be the koala song.’ 

Yoongi blanched at that thought. 

‘No offense, Jimin-ah, but maybe I better do it myself. Your song kind of lacked…. A certain variety in lyrics’, he deadpanned. 

‘Yah, hyung! That was just the intro! You haven’t even heard the verses or the chorus yet. How can you judge so quickly? Let me sing the whole song for you’, Jimin exclaimed and took a deep breath, ready to sing. Yoongi didn’t think he ever moved that fast voluntarily. Within seconds he had moved closer to Jimin and put a hand over his mouth, effectively stopping him from singing the cursed song. He gave Jimin a stern look. 

‘There is no need, Jimin-ah. Hyung believes you, you don’t have to sing it. Ok?’ 

Jimin nodded and Yoongi removed his hand. 

‘Yoongi-hyung! I can’t believe you don’t like my koala song. Is it the song? Or my voice?’, he inquired. 

Yoongi groaned. ‘The song, Jimin-ah, the song. Your voice is actually very unique. I like it a lot.’ 

Now that was unexpected, he thought. Where had that come from? Although it was true. Jimin’s singing voice had a tone color that was very rare and unique. He immediately had a variety of songs in mind that would sound great with Jimin’s voice added to them. He looked at the beta. Apparently Jimin hadn’t expected that compliment either. He stared at Yoongi, eyes blown wide. 

‘You’re joking, right, hyung?’ 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘I’m really not. You have a very special voice and I’d like to hear you sing more. Just please not the koala song’, he hastened to add, making Jimin giggle. ‘Maybe I could take you to my studio someday, show you around and if you want to, you could try and sing something? Just for fun, of course.’ 

He had no idea where that offer came from but he didn’t regret it. There was something about Jimin’s voice that made Yoongi want to work with it, even if it was just to play around. He smiled when Jimin nodded. Yoongi thought he could see excitement sparkle in the younger’s eyes. 

‘I’ve never seen a studio before. It sounds intriguing.’ 

‘Then I’ll take you at some point, I promise’, Yoongi said. He glanced at his watch. Almost 10 a.m. – time had really flown by. It always seemed to fly by with Jimin somehow. 

‘I really have to get some work done now’, he hesitated. ‘Would you like to meet up later and have a late lunch or early dinner together? Before I go home to have the talk of my life with my mates’, he added wryly. 

Jimin grinned. If he could give Yoongi some comfort before that talk, he would gladly do so. ‘Sure, hyung. Same time and place as yesterday? Or maybe a little bit earlier, if you are available? How about 4 p.m.? I could introduce you to the lot then, too.’ 

Yoongi smiled and decided he would just treat the kids to a meal as well then. He owed them, anyway. 

‘I’ll be there.’ He reached over and ruffled Jimin’s hair. ‘I’ll see you later then, Jimin-ah.’

Chapter Text

After parting with Jimin, Yoongi made his way over to the company as quickly as possible, eager to get to work. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this inspired. 

Not sure whether any of his mates were scheduled for anything this morning, he made a quick round of the studios and practice rooms. Maybe if someone was there, he could strike up a small conversation, ease the tension between them. But he found the rooms empty. It didn’t surprise him, they often came in at totally different times and missed each other. Eventually he decided to quickly inform the others about his planned schedule for the day just in case they would be looking for him.

Group chat: Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: I’ll be at the studio for the next 5 hours or so. If any of you are scheduled in today, feel free to drop by. Maybe we can have lunch together? If not, I’ll see you at home tonight.

He quickly pocketed his phone after that, not willing to let himself be disappointed again in case there once more would be no answer. If nobody reached out he’d deal with that tonight. For now, he really wanted to start working.

-----

Group chat: The One Without Yoongi

Jungkook: Hyungs, did you see the message?

Hobi: Why are you texting, we are literally sitting next to you?!

Jungkook: Habit, I guess

Joonie: You could just speak, you know?

Jin: He’s not the smartest, is he?

Jungkook: Wow. Thanks, hyung…

Tae: Jungkookie’s smart. He’s just being shy. That’s why he prefers text messages.

Jungkook: And that’s why Tae is my favorite hyung

Tae: Awww

Jin: Yah! I’m the one who raised you!

Joonie: Actually, we all raised him, hyung…

Jin: Traitor

Hobi: So we are really just going to text each other even though we could just talk?

Jungkook: Yes

Tae: Yes

Joonie: Apparently yes

Jin: They already won the majority vote, Seokie

Hobi: Great

Tae: By the way, why is Jungkookie the only one without a nickname?

Jungkook: Oh

Jungkook changed his name to Kookie

Kookie: Better?

Tae: Much

Hobi: Can we get back on topic? I didn’t come to the beach to text.

Tae: No?

Hobi: No

Joonie: No

Jin: No

Kookie: Yes?

Tae: I knew Jungkookie would understand

Kookie: Of course

‘Ok, that’s it!’, Hoseok exploded. They all turned to look at him. ‘Seriously, guys? We finally manage to coordinate our schedules so we can have this beach getaway after everything that went on these past few weeks and then we sit here and text?!? We could have just stayed home then. I want to swim and play beach volleyball and have that beach barbecue we talked about earlier. So say what you have to say and then let’s put the phones away and enjoy the day.’ 

He stared at his mates who looked a bit surprised by his outburst. Hobi didn’t explode often but when he did, they all knew better than to aggravate him further. Jungkook gave him an apologetic smile. 

‘I’m sorry, hyung. You know how easily we get sidetracked.’ 

The others nodded in agreement. Hoseok sighed. 

‘I know. But really. We have been coordinating for days to get this scheduled perfectly. Who knows when we will get another chance to come here? I just want us to enjoy it.’ 

Jin, who sat closest to him, drew him into a side hug. 

‘We will, Seokie, don’t worry. But Jungkookie’s right, too. We have to decide what to do with that message.’ 

Yoongi had been sending quite a few messages to their group chat after they had decided to ignore it for a while. They had talked about what to do briefly when the second message came in earlier this morning. The café and bookstore picture had captured them, there was no denying that. It would be a nice place to go to someday for sure. Wherever had Yoongi found such a cozy looking place? They had wondered for a moment just where exactly their oldest alpha was, especially that early in the morning. Wherever he was, they just hoped it wasn’t with that ominous savior of his. 

It made them happy to see that Yoongi was reaching out to them, but ultimately they had decided to wait another day or two before reaching out as well. After all, it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since they made their decision yet. They weren’t going to risk their success by reacting back too early. If they paid attention to him now, he probably wouldn’t even realize that they had gone missing in action for a little while. And if he were to think that everything was alright, he might just turn back to this Jimin person as if nothing had ever happened. 

But all of that had been before this newest message. 

‘He wrote he will be home tonight’, Jungkook said. 

They sighed. 

‘Why does he have to choose today to be around in the evening? Out of all the days. We’ve been waiting for weeks for him to reach out and the one time we decide to take a timeout from this situation he comes home?’, Taehyung sounded almost affronted. 

Namjoon shook his head. ‘To be fair, he didn’t know we would head out today. We never told him. He’s not doing it on purpose, so don’t blame him.’ 

‘I know, but it still is a bit upsetting. I was really looking forward to today’, Hoseok said. 

Jin chuckled. ‘We all know about that. You told us about what you wanted to do out here ever since we decided to go.’ 

They all laughed. Namjoon looked at his mates’ faces. They looked so much more at ease than they had for the last few weeks. It was the first time since all the trouble with Yoongi had started that they actually looked content and relaxed. He would hate to take this away from them. 

Coming to the beach had been a spur of the moment decision. Well, almost. More accurately, the idea had come to them very spontaneously a few days ago when they realized that almost none of them had a schedule for today. They had discussed just how much the current situation with Yoongi and the atmosphere at home affected them and somehow a daytrip to the beach had come up and schedules had been cleared. They all needed some time to step away from what was going on right now and Namjoon knew all of them were hoping to return with renewed energy to handle the entire situation.

Cutting their day short and going back home right now would most definitely not put them into a good mood to deal with whatever might await them tonight.

Namjoon sighed.

‘It’s not uncommon for none of us to be around at the company when someone is there and working. I’m sure Yoongi-hyung won’t mind if nobody shows up to have lunch together. We all have spent countless lunchtimes by ourselves.’ 

They nodded in agreement, knowing it was the truth. Each of them had found themselves without any of the others around several times already.

‘The beach barbecue is set for 7 p.m. and we’ll go home afterwards anyway. We might be later than usual but it probably won’t be later than what, maybe 10 p.m.?’ Namjoon glanced around, seeing his mates nod their confirmation at the estimated time schedule.

Jin caught on quickly. ‘Yoongi probably won’t be super early himself since he has been avoiding dinner time for a while now. It shouldn’t be a problem if we stick to our plans.’ 

Nodding vigorously, Taehyung agreed. ‘Plus, he might have just texted us to inform us of his schedule anyway. It would be a shame if we gave up on this day only to come home to find that nothing has changed at all.’ 

They shared a look. 

‘So we’re staying?’, Jungkook asked, voice hopeful. 

Everyone nodded. 

Taehyung let out a joyous shriek, pulled of his shirt and raced towards the water. 

‘Last one in has to buy me ice cream’, he yelled over his shoulders. They laughed and joined in on the race.

-----

Yoongi looked at the clock. Already past 3 p.m. – he really had totally lost track of time, huh? Belatedly he realized that nobody had come around for lunchtime. He didn’t bother looking at his phone, not wanting to feel disappointment in case they had ignored him again. It was definitely preferable to believe in the other option: They probably were scheduled in later today then. 

It never failed to amaze Yoongi that even with six people they still could go a whole day without meeting any of the others at the company. It was definitely possible though, it had happened quite a few times before. They had marveled about that together, it had made for some good laughs. 

Smiling to himself at the memory, he turned back to his work. He had been so immersed in it that he hadn’t even noticed when lunchtime approached and passed, working straight through it. He probably was lucky that he checked the time now, he thought bemusedly. Otherwise he might not have been able to meet Jimin on time. Maybe he should start setting himself an alarm just in case. 

It had been a long time since he had worked on a song like this, completely getting lost in it. He couldn’t help it, though. A melody had been forming in his head ever since his 20 questions game with Jimin earlier in the morning. That alone had been a surprise, albeit a pleasant one. Yoongi hadn’t had any inspiration since the attack. He had almost come to believe that he wouldn’t be able to compose anything ever again. When the melody had begun to take shape, he had felt immense relief wash over him. Then, all of a sudden, fragments of song lyrics had begun dancing through his head as well. 

And that had been new. 

Yoongi usually had one thing or the other to start out with, either the melody or the lyrics. He would work on whatever part would come to him first and then put it aside to wait for inspiration on the other part. Sometimes he, Namjoon and Hobi shared their works in progress with each other. It happened quite often that one of them suddenly felt inspired by something that one of the other’s had started and then had gotten stuck on. Yoongi loved those little sessions. All three of them had very different styles and went about their work in completely different ways. But they complemented each other really well and Yoongi was proud and grateful to be part of such an amazing team. 

This song though was different. Yoongi knew that he would finish it all by himself. He already had the full concept, half of the lyrics and most parts of the melody. Now he just needed to figure out a bridge, write the second verse and finetune everything. 

That was still a lot of work and he wasn’t sure how long it would take him to actually finish the song, but what he did know was that he would finish it sometime in the very near future. He just wanted to wait a little bit longer before finishing the lyrics, he had a feeling that if he were to finish them now, they would feel somehow incomplete in the future. So it would go a bit more slowly from here on out. 

He frowned. There really wasn’t even any haste to finish it anyway. He would never publish this song anywhere. There simply was no singer for it. It bothered him for a moment, but then he decided that he didn’t care. The song was important to him in many ways. He created a new folder on his desktop and saved the lyrics and melody to it. Then he went to title the folder WIP – Serendipity. 

He smiled to himself. Even the title was already decided. Yoongi had a feeling that this song would turn out to be one that would always be very special to him.

-----

Jimin was sitting on the bench he had found Yoongi sitting on yesterday and heaved a sigh of annoyance. He had spent all day looking for the damn lot but couldn’t find them anywhere. Why was it that whenever he actually needed to find them they seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth? 

Some of the vendors had told him that they had given them some errands to run earlier in the morning but those had long since been finished. Haneul had said that they stopped by but he hadn’t had any tasks for them today and they went their way again, arguing loudly over whether to have lunch or dinner today. 

Jimin had laughed at that and Haneul had been quick to join in. The lot were very close knit, they cared for each other deeply and barely ever fought but when it came to food, they disagreed a lot. Unless it was sweets or snacks, then they all agreed immediately. Otherwise they were very divided, some preferring dinner over lunch, others lunch over dinner. Even the food that they craved never seemed to match up. Food discussions were an almost daily occurrence between them. 

Considering they had been half-starved when they had first arrived at the river, this was a huge improvement. Jimin knew that not only he but the whole community enjoyed witnessing those encounters. It reassured them that everything was alright with the kids. As long as they could battle each other over food, they were definitely doing quite well.

Shaking his head, Jimin sighed again. He kind of had lost their tracks after that. Wherever they had gone to for lunch or, depending on who won their discussion, not lunch, they had definitely not left any traces. Which wasn’t surprising either. Those five could be damn stealthy if they wanted to be. Part of it was Jimin’s fault, because he had taught them some of his methods. But those were the parts that related to them being in danger or having to tread carefully. It wasn’t that sneaky everyday stealth that seemed to come naturally with the lot. They had a way of blending in and staying unnoticed when they deemed it necessary. 

It had stunned Jimin when he had first come across that side of theirs. Considering how loud and attention grabbing they were almost all the time, that had literally been the last thing Jimin would ever have expected them to be able to pull off. Yet, they had proven time and time again that they could simply disappear without a trace when they wanted to. 

The fact that those five kids could be both so conspicuous and inconspicuous at the same time had the whole riverside community puzzled and had led to more than one interesting discussion. That and their undeniable ability to track down Jimin wherever he was. An ability that applied only to Jimin. 

They had tested it once, the community people. At some point the question had come up among them whether the lot could actually track down other people, too. It had raised quite a few arguments during which Jimin had mostly just listened in without commenting himself. He had his own idea about that but he wouldn’t go and influence others’ opinions. 

Eventually, the community people had decided to set the lot up so they could test them. They had sent Haneul to wander around some of the areas they all frequented less regularly. That way the chances that the kids would accidentally run into him would be reduced. Then they sent Jimin to find the lot. Jimin had almost snorted at that. Just because the kids had the ability to track him down, didn’t mean that he had the ability to track them down as well. But as the person closest to them, of course he had been chosen. Sometimes he wondered how he always ended up getting involved in shenanigans like these. Had those people nothing better to do? 

He had found the lot eventually – more like they had found him - and told them that he needed help looking for Haneul. They had agreed immediately and set off to search for the man in question while Jimin had made his way back to everyone else to wait with them. By that point there was no way he was going to miss out on how this would end. 

Bets were being placed while they were waiting and since Jimin never took part in any bets, they made him the bookmarker. He didn’t really mind that but he was surprised by how many people were betting that the lot would be successful. 

Jimin didn’t think so. The lot had only ever really attached to him and he had a feeling that their ability to find him had something to do with their need to know that he hadn’t suddenly disappeared on them. He had felt something similar around Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung and he had often had a very good idea on where to find them. 

Eventually, Haneul returned alone, confirming Jimin’s hunch and making him wish for the first time ever that he had joined in on a bet. The lot returned about an hour after Haneul, glad to see that the community leader was back because they had literally searched everywhere and had had no idea where else to look. 

Jimin wasn’t sure whether they had ever figured out that they had been tested that day. If he would have to guess, he would say that they probably were blissfully unaware. Stuff like that often went right past them, without them noticing even the most obvious hints. 

Jimin couldn’t help but smile. He really didn’t regret his decision to help those kids out back then. They were high maintenance but they were good kids, smart, always helpful, very warm-hearted and even though it didn’t look like it they actually had really good manners. They just preferred to be brats most of the time. 

If he was being honest, Jimin was a bit miffed that he hadn’t been able to find them. Why did they have to disappear today out of all days? He knew how much they wanted to meet Yoongi. In fact, he had the suspicion that the lot actually were secretly fans of BTS. They knew way too much about those idols to just be casually informed. So far, Jimin hadn’t called them out on that but he knew that the day would come. Until then he would keep this precious bit of ammunition safe. 

Shaking his head, he decided not to dwell on the situation any longer when a familiar looking snapback came into view. He smiled and got up.

-----

Yoongi was relieved to find Jimin already waiting for him. He had worried a bit about what to do if they somehow missed each other. They really had no way at all to contact one another if something came up. He would have to do something about that at some point, he decided. 

The younger smiled when he spotted him and got up to meet him halfway. They easily fell back into conversation, Yoongi telling Jimin about finally having been able to compose again, although he had kept vague about the song details. It wasn’t for Jimin to know, at least not yet. Someday he would tell him, though. 

Another smile formed on Jimin’s face upon hearing about Yoongi’s success and before Yoongi knew what was happening, Jimin was hugging him tightly. Yoongi froze for a second, not expecting that reaction at all, but then he wrapped his arms around the other and squeezed back. Jimin’s hugs were so warm. He definitely could get used to them.

Someone coughed somewhere close to them and Jimin stiffened in Yoongi’s arms, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like a curse. 

‘Please tell me I’m not the only one seeing this’, a voice unknown to Yoongi said. 

‘I refuse to believe I’m seeing this. I’m probably still asleep’, a second voice answered. 

There was a snort and a shriek. 

‘What the hell did you pinch me for!?’ 

‘What? I just made sure you are awake,’ another unknown voice sounded. 

Yoongi thought he heard something like a shuffle and a stumble, then the second voice sounded again. 

‘Wait! So this is actually real? Like really real?’ 

‘Never thought I’d see the day’, someone muttered and Jimin groaned quietly, hiding his face in Yoongi’s neck, stoically ignoring what was going on. 

‘The betrayal!’, one of them exclaimed. ‘Ji! How could you! You were ours longer!’ 

‘And maybe I am Yoongi-hyung’s better!’, Jimin shot back, finally lifting his head and turning it to glare at the lot. 

Yoongi turned his head as well and followed his gaze, trying hard to suppress his laughter. So this was what Jimin had meant when he said that they were a handful, he thought amused. He eyed them just as curiously as they eyed him. 

They were young, was the first thing that came to his mind. He would bet that most of them were still underage. It was hard to tell what sub genders they had with all of them wearing scent blockers. Not that it mattered to Yoongi but if there happened to be omegas among them, he wouldn’t want to appear too overpowering and spook them off. He’d probably ask Jimin about it if it wouldn’t come up naturally, he decided. 

Realizing that he was still holding on to the younger, he slowly released his grip on him. The moment he pulled away, one of the boys jumped on Jimin, giving him a tight hug. 

‘YAH! Get off me! What do you think you’re doing, Kai?’, Jimin shouted and tried to wriggle his way out of the embrace. 

‘Hugging you! Since that’s a thing now. Stop moving so much or I’ll call for a cuddle pile!’ 

‘Don’t you dare!’, Jimin declared. 

‘Oh my gawd, a cuddle pile!’, someone exclaimed and two more kids threw themselves on Jimin and who appeared to be Kai, making them all lose their balance and tumble to the ground. 

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh. He glanced at the two kids still standing on the sidelines. They must be the two oldest, he thought. Both of them were watching the drama on the ground with smug yet fond expressions on their faces. 

Jimin somehow managed to wriggle his way out from under the other three kids and was slowly backing away from them. So far they didn’t have seemed to notice his retreat. One of the elder kids stepped closer and gave him a hand, helping him up. 

‘You ok?’, he smirked. 

Jimin rolled his eyes. 

‘I could totally have gone without that experience.’ 

The other raised an eyebrow, shooting a look at the boy standing next to him. 

‘Oh? I guess I apologize, then.’ Before Jimin had any time to react, he had pulled him into a tight embrace, the second boy quickly hugging him from behind as well. Jimin struggled to no avail. 

‘Can you just let go! You, too, Yeonjun?! I thought for sure you’d be on my side.’ 

The one who had pulled Jimin into the hug hummed. 

‘Sorry, Ji, but no. I’ll not pass up on a chance to hug you.’ 

For some reason, that seemed to take the fight out of Jimin. He stopped struggling and sighed dejectedly. ‘Just don’t let it become a habit.’ 

The three on the ground were looking on wide-eyed. 

‘Whoa, Ji!’, the one named Kai breathed. ‘How’d you do that?’ 

‘They aren’t huggers. Like really not. Tell us your secret!’ 

Jimin glared at them over Yeonjun’s shoulder. 

‘Trust me, I didn’t do anything. I told you I could have gone without this whole experience.’ 

The one hugging Jimin from behind chuckled as he let go. 

‘Well, we couldn’t. We’ve been waiting for three years, Ji! What did you expect, a pat on the shoulder?’ 

Jimin grumbled. ‘I might have preferred it', he said but Yoongi saw the fond look in his eyes when he looked at the kids. Jimin turned to him. 

‘Hyung, I’m so sorry for this. I told you they were a lot though, right?’, he winked and Yoongi grinned at the pun. 

‘Excuse me?! You told him what now about us?’ 

Jimin smirked. ‘That you’re the human version of a headache and the bane of my existence.’ 

Yoongi burst out laughing at the looks of betrayal they shot Jimin. He couldn’t help it. There was something about their dynamics that was just too adorable. 

Jimin grinned. ‘Let me introduce you all properly.’

-----

Yoongi and the lot hit it off almost right away, Jimin thought as he watched the three youngest kids follow Yoongi around from stall to stall, trying to decide what food to get. 

They had ended up making their way back to the riverside terrace. The lot had been delighted when Yoongi had invited them to eat with him and Jimin. Jimin himself had been surprised although he supposed he shouldn’t have been. It was just like Yoongi to do something like that, he thought. He seemed to be the type of person who liked to show how much he cared through gestures like this. 

Jimin was glad that he was being so accepting of the lot and especially grateful that he had invited them to come along, treating them to food. They were doing ok but there were five of them and the alphas refused to let the omegas run errands by themselves for now, so the amount of tasks they could take on was limited. Kai and Beomgyu whined about it sometimes but Jimin agreed with Soobin’s and Yeonjun’s decision. Even with scent blockers it wasn’t totally safe out in the streets for omegas and those two were still young and could at times be quite naïve. It was definitely better to be safe than sorry. 

Still, that put the lot in a situation where they couldn’t afford much more than the daily necessities and a regular meal per day. Jimin was used to taking on more errands and stepping in whenever needed but even he could rarely afford to treat them to something special like that day when he had gotten them all some ice cream. Watching Yoongi simply buy any food Kai, Beomgyu and Taehyun only so much as glanced at, made him happy. Maybe Yoongi was overdoing it a little but Jimin knew the lot were all good eaters. They’d probably be able to finish the dishes even without Yoongi and Jimin. And they really deserved this, too.

‘He seems like a good person’, Soobin’s voice ripped Jimin out of his musings. They had managed to secure one of the tables this time. The two older boys had been watching Yoongi intently ever since he went off to buy food with the younger ones. Jimin didn’t blame them. Famous or not, they didn’t know Yoongi at all yet, he was an alpha and he was currently with the lot’s two omegas and only beta. Of course they would keep a close eye on him. 

‘He really is’, Jimin conceded. ‘You’ll see.’ 

‘I still can’t believe you went and hugged him’, Yeonjun muttered under his breath. 

Jimin huffed. ‘I still can’t believe you went and hugged me.’ 

The two alphas laughed. 

‘If we had known it was an option, we’d have done it way sooner’, Soobin said. 

There was something in his voice that made Jimin look at them more closely. They were smiling, but their eyes remained serious. Jimin frowned slightly. Had they really wanted to hug him that badly? None of them had ever been very touchy with him or even with each other. The omegas were quite affectionate and cuddly of course and Taehyun seemed to really enjoy cuddling with them but other than that, their way of showing affection towards each other had always been either through supportive silence or annoying banter. 

He thought back to the many times he had been hugged by Hajun-hyung, craving reassurance and comfort and inwardly cursed himself. How hadn’t he realized that the two eldest craved affection, too? Of course they did, they were still just kids after all. 

He sighed. ‘I know I’m kind of stand-offish most of the time, but you know you can come to me when you need something, right? That includes hugs, too.’ 

They blinked. ‘Ji-‘ 

Jimin shook his head and smiled. 

‘We’re quite similar, aren’t we? Always pretending to be alright. If I learned one thing from the little time that I’ve spent with Yoongi-hyung so far, it’s that it is ok to allow yourself a little comfort from time to time. And if that comfort means cuddles, then so be it. I’m sorry I made you think you couldn’t hug me. You can. Of course you can.’ 

They stared at him intently until Jimin looked away, giving them a moment to compose themselves. He had seen tears glisten in Yeonjun’s eyes and he knew the alpha would probably be a bit uncomfortable if Jimin saw him cry. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Soobin reach out and touch the other’s hand in silent support. 

Maybe those two needed a little talk with Yoongi, Jimin thought to himself. He knew they were pulling themselves together for their little group’s sake but they shouldn’t bottle things up this much. Yoongi might be able to help them better than Jimin could, though. He would talk to him about it, he decided. 

A hand found its way to Jimin’s arm and squeezed lightly. ‘Thank you, Ji’, Soobin said quietly. 

Jimin nodded and smiled before he decided to change the topic and started inquiring about their day.

-----

Yoongi was doing his best to keep the three kids busy. He had seen that some kind of serious conversation was going on between Jimin and the two older ones, at least that was what he had concluded from the determined look on Jimin’s face. It probably wouldn’t do any good if they returned to them right now, he wouldn’t want to interrupt them. Whatever it was seemed to be quite important. Yoongi wasn’t quite sure if he saw correctly but for a fleeting moment he had thought that he had seen one of the boys being close to breaking into tears. 

He turned to look at Kai, Beomgyu and Taehyun, who were currently discussing snack choices, each of them favoring something different. He grinned. That seemed to be a theme with these kids. So far, they had argued over every single food item. 

‘Why don’t we take one of each and share?’, he asked. They stared at him. 

‘We can?!’, Kai exclaimed. 

Yoongi nodded. ‘Didn’t I say there’s no limit today?’, he asked, raising an eyebrow at them. 

They hesitated, eyes darting between him and the food stalls set up along the perimeter.

‘But it’s expensive’, Taehyun said, eyeing the stalls warily. 

Somehow Yoongi had a feeling that these kids didn’t get treated to food like this very often. He would have to ask Jimin about that. It wasn’t ok. They were still so young, they needed to have a healthy diet. Maybe he would have to treat them to a daily meal as well. It was a thought he would explore more deeply later. 

‘It’s fine, don’t look at the prices. Just get whatever you want, hyung will pay.’ 

Their eyes grew big. 

‘We can call you hyung?’, Kai asked incredulously. 

Something tucked at Yoongi’s heart. These kids were adorable. He grinned. 

‘Yeah? Unless you’re older than me, of course. Then I hope you’ll allow me to call you hyungs, too. Are you older than me?’ He quirked an eyebrow at them. They laughed and shook their heads, eyes sparkling at the idea of Yoongi having to call them his hyungs. 

‘Can we really get anything we want, hyung?’, Beomgyu asked, still not sure if they weren’t overstepping.

Again, Yoongi nodded. ‘Go and take a look around. I’ll go and get something I really want from that stall over there and then come back so we can buy your selection, ok?’ 

They nodded excitedly and went to browse the stalls some more. Yoongi threw a quick glance over to Jimin and the two other boys. Things seemed to have calmed down there now. If he wasn’t completely wrong, those two were probably alphas, he mused. It must be hard to look after your intended pack at such a young age already. He should try to have a little talk with them at some point. Maybe he could offer some advice as a fellow alpha.

-----

Min Yoongi had done something to Ji that they hadn’t thought they would ever see happen, Yeonjun mused quietly. He wasn’t sure how or when it had happened but ever since Ji had first met the idol all those weeks ago, he had become somewhat softer, more approachable. They had yearned to get closer to him for years but he had always kept them at a certain distance. 

Haneul had told them that Ji was generally very closed off and they knew bits and pieces of what he had gone through, although they never had heard his whole story. Knowing that Ji had a lot to deal with, they had easily accepted his boundaries. 

They had been grateful to have him in the first place. Nobody had ever shown as much genuine interest in and concern for them as Ji had. At first it had been hard to believe. They had been convinced that he was playing with them, leading them on. Nobody had ever stuck around for them, so why would he? It hadn’t taken them long though to realize that Ji was genuine. He had taken it upon himself to get them settled in the riverside community, despite all the ruckus they had caused there. 

Back then they had been ready to give up. Life in the streets was so much harder than any of them had imagined. They had been tired, hungry and scared. With Ji’s help, they had slowly learned to get a grip of this lifestyle. Not without messing up, though. 

Yeonjun couldn’t help but grin when he remembered just how often Ji had had to bail them out because they had gotten themselves in stupid situations unknowingly. Despite all their struggles and mistakes, no matter what they did, Ji had stayed supportive of them. It was only natural that they had attached themselves to the only person who had ever shown them kindness like that. 

All of them had wanted to hug Ji for the longest time. To say thank you, to show him just how much they cared for him. For comfort. Ji was the only family they had. The first family they ever had, too. Sure, there were the riverside people and they got along really well with them, but it wasn’t the same. Ji was special to them.

And because of that, they had made sure to never cross the boundaries he had laid out for them. Even if that meant that they couldn’t hug him. Even if they longed for it so much. They really did, especially him and Soobin. 

Yeonjun was glad that Soobin had taken over the role as leader of their group. He really was best suited for it. But as the two oldest and the only two alphas, they worked together closely anyway. Watching out for the younger three was something they could only accomplish together. And sometimes the pressure of having to be strong for them was almost overbearing. They didn’t allow themselves a lot of moments of weakness, simply because they didn’t want to unsettle the other three. 

Hearing Ji say that it was ok to turn to him, that they could hug him if they needed comfort – it had been a huge relief and filled him with happiness. Soobin, too, he guessed, judging from the way the other’s hand had clutched his arm. It was something they hadn’t thought they would ever hear from Ji. 

They had known that he liked them, that he worried for them. They were the people he was closest with in the community after all. But they hadn’t known that he cared for them that deeply. Almost as if he considered them his family, too. Whatever had happened with Yoongi, it had caused Ji to let his walls down around them and it seemed like there was a completely different person behind them. 

Yeonjun glanced over at the rapper who was currently paying for what seemed like an insane amount of food while at the same time keeping the three youngest in check somehow. He smiled. Yeah, the idol seemed to be a good person, he decided. He was glad Ji had met him, even if the circumstances had been more than unfortunate. Somehow he couldn’t shake the weird feeling that something good might come out of this for all of them eventually.

-----

When they had finally purchased everything the kids craved – which apparently was a lot – they made their way back to their table, laden with food packages. The other three stared at them incredulously. 

‘Are we inviting everyone here to join us?’, Jimin asked, raising an eyebrow at the amount of food and drinks being set out on their table. What had Yoongi been thinking? 

The idol shrugged and pointed at the three youngest. ‘They couldn’t decide on what to get.’ 

Jimin groaned, Soobin laughed and Yeonjun turned to his dongsaengs with a stern look on his face. 

‘I hope you didn’t forget about your hyungs’ food preferences’, he said, raising an eyebrow at them. ‘There better be something in this selection that we like.’ 

Jimin had to suppress a grin. It wouldn’t be the first time that some of them would get left behind by the food choices of the others. He had seen it happen before. The lots’ food wars could be quite intense. 

‘We brought something of everything, hyung. You’ll like it, you’ll see’, Beomgyu grinned. 

Jimin frowned. ‘Something of everything? You don’t mean that literally, do you?’ 

Kai nodded in excitement. ‘Yes, yes! We do! Yoongi-hyung said it was ok and we could just share it among each other.’ 

Jimin raised an eyebrow at that. Yoongi-hyung? Well, that had escalated quickly, he thought bemused. Before he could say anything, Soobin interrupted. 

‘Yoongi-hyung?’, he asked, looking at the eldest alpha for confirmation. If his dongsaengs were overstepping here, he would make sure to put them into their right place. But the rapper just smiled at him and nodded. ‘I’m older than you, so hyung it is, right?’ He really was nice, Soobin thought to himself, nodding in agreement. ‘Thank you, hyung. We really appreciate it.’ 

As more and more food was being unpacked, Jimin began to wonder just how they would finish all of this. He turned to Yoongi. 

‘No offense, hyung – but what in the world were you thinking? That’s enough to feed our entire community.’ 

Yoongi laughed. ‘Does it matter? You can always bring them the leftovers. If there are any. Something tells me that these kids won’t have a problem finishing this off.’ 

The lot cheered at the vote of confidence and Jimin rolled his eyes at them. ‘You better live up to his expectations now’, he teased. 

Yoongi grabbed a still unopened container that had been sitting on the side and unceremoniously placed it in front of Jimin. Then he eyed the others. 

‘That one’s not to share, it’s for Jimin-ah’, he said, giving them a warning look. He had decided to stick with calling Jimin by his real name in the presence of the kids seeing as they knew it anyway. 

The lot exchanged a look that bordered on shock. Jimin-ah? What had they missed now?

Jimin eyed the container, surprised. 

‘For me?, he asked confused. 

Yoongi hummed. ‘Yeah. I told you I was gonna give you more proof of how good my memory can be when you don’t confuse me, right?’ 

Jimin frowned, avoiding the curious stares of the lot. There was a story there, they could feel it. They’d have to find out someday. 

When Jimin didn’t move to open the container, Yoongi sighed in mock annoyance, reached over, pulled off the lid and pushed a plastic spoon into Jimin’s hand. Jimin stared. 

Kimchi stew. 

He hadn’t had that since… 

He blinked. 

Not since before everything went downhill.

He looked up at Yoongi, noticing how the table had suddenly gone quiet. 

‘You remembered’, he said dumbly. The elder nodded. ‘Told you my memory is good.’ 

The lots’ eyes were darting between them as Jimin tentatively took a spoonful and savored the stew. He closed his eyes. It was so good. Another something he hadn’t known he had missed, he thought. Taking another spoonful, he looked at Yoongi. ‘Thank you, hyung.’ 

Yoongi nodded, smiling. ‘See, my memory works just fine.’ 

Jimin gave him a level look. ‘I’m really glad, hyung. I’m not sure I would have been able to stomach strawberry soup.’ Yoongi laughed and Jimin was quick to join in. 

Soobin and Yeonjun exchanged a look. Yes, they silently agreed with each other. Yoongi was definitely good for Ji.

-----

They really did end up finishing all of the food. It didn’t surprise Yoongi at all. Between five teenagers and two grown men, it really wasn’t all that much. The atmosphere was relaxed and cozy and when the sun eventually began to set, Yoongi almost didn’t want to leave. But he had to go home. He finally wanted to set things right with his pack. He missed them so much and he hoped with all his might that Jimin was right and everything was just a big misunderstanding. 

Jimin offered to walk him at least halfway, shooting the lot a dirty glare when they prepared to come along as well. Yoongi had to suppress a laugh at that. He said his goodbyes to the kids, promising to be back soon, happy to see the way their faces light up at the prospect of seeing him again. He had only just met them but they were good kids, he could tell that much. Jimin had done well to take them under his wings. 

He and Jimin walked mostly in silence. Now wasn’t the time for jokes or banter. Yoongi had a serious and difficult conversation ahead of him. Jimin gave him a look. ‘Are you alright, hyung?’ 

Yoongi paused for a moment. He felt surprisingly calm, considering the situation he was about to walk into. He nodded. 

‘I’m better than I have been in days. I think you may be right, we might have some real communication issues. I’ll do my best to set things right tonight.’ He smiled. ‘Thank you so much, Jimin-ah.’ 

The younger shook his head. ‘I’m proud of you, hyung.’ He hesitated for a split second. ‘Hyung?’ 

‘Yes, Jimin-ah?’ Yoongi looked at him and the look in his eyes was so soft that it caught Jimin off-guard. He really needed to work on keeping his guard up around the elder but somehow it seemed impossible to do so.

‘I really am very sure that you can solve your issues with your mates but hyung-’, he paused before continuing with determination, ‘I’ll stay out at the terrace until it shuts down. The kids will be staying at the bridge closest to my place tonight and I’ll tell them to stay put there. If for whatever reason things don’t work out, come find me. Us. You aren’t alone, you don’t have to deal with this by yourself.’ 

Yoongi’s heart melted. He reached out and pulled Jimin into a tight hug, pressing his face into the beta’s hair. Jimin immediately hugged him back. 

‘Thank you, Jimin-ah’, he whispered. ‘You have no idea how much that means to me.’

-----

It was past eight p.m. when Yoongi returned to their apartment. A dark and empty apartment. For a moment he stood in the hallway, not sure what to make of this. Slowly, he made his way over to the kitchen, checking the fridge for any messages his mates might have left about their whereabouts. 

It had become a habit of theirs to stick a quick note there if they decided to go out on short notice, simply because in the past messages like that had gotten lost several times in their usually very busy group chat. It didn’t even surprise him anymore when he found the fridge bare of any notes. Of course, he thought bitterly. They probably hadn’t messaged him either. 

He pulled out his phone. No messages. No missed calls. As was to be expected. He had told them he would come home this evening, hadn’t he? Checking his last message again, he sighed. He had said he would see them tonight. That did imply home. They often used that phrase to refer to seeing each other at home. Maybe he hadn’t been clear enough? They hadn’t exactly spent much time together lately after all.

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Came home to an empty apartment. Where have you all gone off to?

He waited but nobody seemed to be checking their phones right now. Worry began to build in him. Why would they not inform him of where they went? And why weren’t they checking their phones? 

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Is everything alright? Did something happen?

Feeling slightly uneasy, he decided to wait for a while. They might just have gone out for dinner and forgotten to check their phones. In that case they’d probably be home within the next hour or two.

He settled on their couch and turned on the tv but he couldn’t really focus on anything. Again and again he checked his phone but his messages were still unread. Slowly, the chat began to fill with more messages. Maybe if he sent enough, one of them would finally notice and ease his worries.

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Guys? Seriously, are you ok?
Yoongi: Where are you? It’s almost 10 p.m., I’m really starting to worry.
Yoongi: What is going on? Why aren’t any of you checking your phones? Are you alright?
Yoongi: Please, just answer something. Let me know you are ok. I'm fucking worried here.

It was closing in on 11 p.m. now and Yoongi was getting really worried. What if something had happened to them? Should he contact the company? The police? Did he have any evidence that they weren’t ok? He fretted for a while and then decided to send one more message before taking any other action. Picking up his phone again, he froze when he looked at the screen. 

Read by 5

When had that happened? And why hadn’t they answered him? Were they in trouble? Tentatively he reached for their bond. He had tried his best to shut it out recently because the mixed emotions flowing through it had become too hard for him to handle. There had been so many anger flares, so much disappointment lately. For once, he had been glad that it was possible to shield oneself from bonded emotions to some extent. Granted , extreme or sudden emotions still couldn't be shut out but at least the bitter hopelessness that somehow had become their everyday norm could be kept at bay like this.

He sighed. He really needed to know what they were feeling now, though. If there was any sign that they were in trouble he would need to find a way to help them. Steeling himself, he closed his eyes, tapped into their bond and gasped. 

Joy and happiness washed over him in an instant. His eyes widened. So they were having a good time somewhere without him and didn’t even bother letting him know? Had they forgotten all about him or why weren't they even checking their phones? Didn't they care that he might worry for them? 

For the first time since the attack he felt irritation build up inside of him. Yes, he had shut them out, pushed them away. But he had reasons to do so, even though he hadn’t been able to tell them about those. And he was trying his best to make up for that, too. What reason could they possibly have for ignoring him like this? What gave them the right to make him worry about them when they were simply out and having a good time? Maybe Jimin was right after all and he really wasn’t the only one at fault here. 

He checked the time. Almost a quarter past eleven – even if they came home right now there was no way they could talk this out anymore. They would probably be too tired to have any serious conversation. 

Contemplating his options, Yoongi went over to his room and yanked a small backpack from his closet. Swiftly he began filling it with a set of spare clothes, moving over to the bathroom to add some of his toiletries. There was no way he was going to spend the night here, hearing them come home in a good mood after they had just treated him like that. Like a piece of shit, really. 

It was one thing to not be able to talk about what had happened and to become estranged about that. But it was a whole different thing to purposefully make someone who loved you worry about you when you were out and having a good time. That was simply on a whole other level.

It hurt, but right now Yoongi was way too angry to focus on the pain. He didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserved it. Fuming, Yoongi opened the chat again.

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: You know what? Forget it. Here I was worrying for you, ready to call management or the police when you are simply having a good time. You could have at least let me know you’re alright. I’m going out again. Don’t look for me.


He hit send and stared at his phone for a moment before turning it off completely. There was no way he was going to let their stupid actions dictate the rest of this night. Letting the apartment door fall shut behind him with a loud bang, he made his way back towards the river terrace. 

Chapter Text

Jimin was staring out over the river. He could hear the lot from somewhere down by the river shore. When he returned from walking Yoongi back, the five of them had already given up the table and moved down to the shore, trying to skim stones. So far, Beomgyu and Taehyun were the only ones who had gotten the hang of it, much to their delight. Every time one of the others failed gleeful laughter would make its way up the stairs to where Jimin had chosen to sit. They really were easy to entertain, he mused as he observed them. 

Some of the vendors had already started to clean up their stalls, it wasn’t long now until the place would close down for the night. Maybe another hour at most. It had been a nice afternoon. The lot had really come to like Yoongi, even Soobin and Yeonjun, who had been a bit more reserved at first. Jimin wasn’t surprised they had come around quickly, though. It really was hard not to like Yoongi.  

The thought brought his mind straight to Yoongi’s pack. Whatever the hell was wrong with them? How could they treat someone as good as Yoongi the way they were currently doing? He clenched his fists. Whenever the alpha was around he tried his best to reign in his anger over their childish and hurtful behavior towards him but right now he wasn’t around. And Jimin really needed an outlet. 

With a sigh he got up, marched down to the rivershore and grabbed the stone Beomgyu was about ready to skim from the omega’s hand. He took a deep breath before hurling it towards the water with as much power as he could muster. 

‘Stupid freaking idiots!’, he yelled at the top of his lungs. He watched as the stone flew through the air, fell into the water and disappeared. 

There was a short moment of silence. The lot was staring at him as if he had grown a second head. 

‘Wow’, Yeonjun muttered under his breath. 

‘It really is a day full of surprises’, Taehyun announced to no one in particular. 

‘What has you so riled up, Ji?’, Soobin asked, sounding slightly concerned. They had only ever seen Ji really angry once, after the sewer incident, and that had been dangerous and dumb, even Soobin had to admit that much. So whatever could have gotten Ji this mad now? Hadn’t the day been going just great? 

Jimin stared at the river for a moment longer. Throwing that stone had helped. Somewhat. He bent down to pick up another, much bigger one and hurdled it out as well. 

‘Get your shit together already!’, he yelled after it. This time it went down with a splashing sound that somehow satisfied him. 

‘Ji?’, Soobin prompted, raising an eyebrow at him. 

Jimin turned around. ‘Yoongi-hyung’s mates’, he muttered under his breath as he walked past the lot and made his way back to his spot on the stairs.

They shared a confused look. Yoongi-hyung’s mates? They weren’t stupid, they knew who Yoongi was mated to. Everyone knew that BTS was a real pack, not a show pack and that the six members were all mated to each other. None of them would admit it openly but they really did like the band and knew quite a lot about the members. Not that they would tell Ji. He would tease them about it to no end. 

Still – why was Ji so mad at the rest of the group? Did he even know them?

‘Come on’, Soobin gestured for the others to follow him. They made their way over to Ji and settled on the stairs around him. He had gone back to staring out at the river, eyes slightly narrowed. 

They waited. Urging him to tell them what was going on would only make him clam up even more, they knew that much from experience. It was best to let him go at his own pace. 

For a few minutes, nobody said a word. Jimin knew they were waiting for an explanation. He was just grateful they weren’t pushing for one. The outburst had been somewhat freeing but he was still irritated. Maybe he should throw some more stones, he thought and sighed. The lot stirred slightly around him but remained silent. 

‘This is confidential’, he finally settled on saying, turning around and looking each of them in the eyes. ‘It stays between us, you cannot tell anyone else.’ 

They nodded, serious looks on their faces; no traces of their earlier giddiness left. It wasn’t that Jimin didn’t trust them, he knew they could keep a secret very well. He was just making sure that they knew this was not for anyone else to hear. 

‘I won’t go into much detail. It’s not my story to tell. But since you met Yoongi-hyung now and will probably see him again, it might be better you know. Just in case.’ 

He sighed. ‘It’s not for me to judge but from what I have seen since yesterday, hyung’s mates are treating him like shit.’ 

The kids shared a surprised look. Whenever they had seen anything about or by the group, the members had always seemed so in tune with each other; so happy and content to be around one another. They never had gotten the impression that something might be wrong. But if Ji said so, there must be something to it. He didn’t just go around and spread rumors. And he barely ever got as angry as he had been just now. 

‘How so?’, Yeonjun inquired, trying to make sense of what they had just been told. 

Jimin sighed again. ‘They keep ignoring his text messages.’ 

Beomgyu frowned in confusion. That didn’t seem much to go on. ‘They might just have been busy?’ 

‘It’s not like that.’ Jimin shook his head. ‘They promised to always reply to him, no matter what. It has something to do with their past, I won’t go into it. But they made him promise to always leave his phone turned on and that in return they would always answer him.’ 

He took a few seconds to contemplate how much more he could tell them without breaking Yoongi’s trust in him. ‘Yoongi-hyung hasn’t been dealing all that well with what happened that night. He couldn’t tell his mates everything that went down and instead began to close himself off. Not by choice, though.’ 

They nodded. It was something they understood. ‘Trauma’, Yeonjun mumbled quietly, a distant look in his eyes.

Jimin knew exactly what incident he was thinking of. Until today he wished he would have gone with them back then. He knew he shouldn’t blame himself, there was no way of knowing what would happen. They had simply been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Still. Maybe he could have done something to prevent it from happening. At the time, they had been at the river for maybe half a year and had just begun to settle into their new lifestyle. The incident had erased all progress they had made. It had  taken weeks until he could convince them to run errands again and a lot longer for them to really heal and move on from it.

Jimin frowned to himself. It hurt his heart that these kids understood what he was talking about so well when they were still so young. And it filled him with new anger that Yoongi’s mates, who were all grown adults, did not get it. He gave Yeonjun a small smile and nodded. 

‘So’, Taehyun hesitated, ‘he shut them out and they stopped replying to him?’ 

‘I know of at least three messages on which they have left him on read since yesterday evening. One was a picture of a café to which he asked them if they should go sometime.’ 

That got to them. He felt the air around him shift, the earlier skepticism turning into irritation. 

‘That’s just mean’, Kai exclaimed. ‘Why would they do that? They should support him.’ Like Ji had supported them, time and time again, he thought to himself. Especially that one time, shortly after they had arrived at the river. It had been hard for them to move on from it but Ji had reassured them again and again that they would be alright.

Kai wasn’t sure what they would have done without him back then. He knew they had been difficult to deal with, the countless nights Ji stayed up to help them with panic attacks and nightmares had visibly worn him down at the time. And yet, Ji had never once turned his back on them, no matter how hard it had been for him. And he had taught them everything there was to know about the river, about how to stay safe in the streets, even about the gangs and then had helped them learn defense techniques and developed emergency strategies with them. He had done so patiently, never once complaining or telling them to just get over their fears.

The latter had happened so gradually that they hadn’t even noticed how things began to turn back to normal at first. It was only after Ji took them to a gaming arcade saying they earned it for working so hard on themselves those past few weeks that they realized things were looking up again.

They all knew it was thanks to Ji that they had been able to move on from the experience and to feel safe and confident with their life at the riverside community again. It was so important to have someone you could trust, someone who supported you.

Kai frowned. He really didn’t understand how Yoongi’s mates, his pack, the people who were supposed to be there for him no matter what, could treat him like that when he was obviously still healing. He gave Ji a concerned look. ‘They should support him’, he repeated.

Jimin grimaced. ‘They should, but they are obviously too dumb to notice that he isn’t coping well at all. I can only guess what their reasons for ghosting him might be, though.’ 

‘It really sounds like something Taehyun or Beomgyu would do when they seek revenge’, Soobin mused.

‘Hey!’, Taehyun shouted, affronted. ‘We’re not like that’, Beomgyu added, crossing his arms. 

Yeonjun snorted and Kai snickered. Jimin bit his lip hard to prevent himself from grinning.

Soobin raised an eyebrow at the kids in question and smirked before he nodded. ‘You’re not mean. What I meant is, you both like to get revenge by paying back what you received. Like the time Kai accidentally splashed water on you and you went and dragged him into the river. Or the time Yeonjun and I refused to get your favorite snacks and the next time we sent you to get food, you brought back a dinner choice we both didn’t like at all.’ 

This time it was Jimin who snorted. He hadn’t known about either incident but it sounded very much like them. Soobin shot him an amused look before turning back to Taehyun and Beomgyu. 

‘What I was trying to say is – it seems like they are trying to get to hyung somehow. But why?’ 

Jimin was surprised at how similar Soobin’s thoughts were to his own. ‘My best guess is that they are trying to make Yoongi-hyung miss them enough to open up to them.’ 

‘That’s ridiculous’, Yeonjun frowned. ‘It’s not how trauma works.’ 

Jimin gave him a look. ‘Care to break the news to them?’ 

They fell silent after that, each of them musing over the situation, the earlier light mood long gone. 

‘Great, now I’m really angry, too’, Beomgyu exclaimed, earning nods all around him.

‘Well, at least I’m in good company then’, a familiar voice sounded from behind them. They whirled around

‘Hyung!’, Jimin exclaimed, scrambling to get up. ‘Why are you here? Did you talk to them?’ 

Yoongi laughed bitterly. ‘How could I when they weren’t even there?’ 

Jimin stared at him, not sure what Yoongi was trying to tell them. The alpha was quick to explain, though.

‘I texted them this morning that I would be home tonight but they weren’t there. Didn’t even leave a note at all as to where they went. I texted them again that I’m home and asked where they were but they didn’t even check their phones.’ 

‘Hyung, are you sure they are alright? What if something has happened and they can’t access their phones?’, Taehyun suggested. 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘I got worried enough after an hour passed and they still hadn’t seen my message. So I kept sending them messages, asking if they are ok, telling them that I was worried. There was nothing for hours and then suddenly the status went to read but there was no answer. It freaking scared the heck out of me, so I tapped into our bond to see if they were in any trouble.’ 

Jimin shared a concerned look with Soobin. This didn’t bode well at all.

‘They are out there somewhere having a great time and they didn’t even bother telling me that they are alright!’, Yoongi’s voice was dangerously low, his eyes stormy. 

For a moment, none of them knew what to say. That was just plain vile. Nobody deserved to be treated like that. Especially not Yoongi. He had been nothing but kind to them even though they barely knew each other. Jimin tentatively reached out to touch Yoongi’s arm. 

‘Hyung, I’m so sorry’, he said softly. Yoongi nodded, looking dejected. ‘Me, too.’ He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. ‘I’m so mad right now, I could hit a wall or something.’ 

Kai jumped up. ‘I know, we can do what Ji did!’ 

Jimin groaned inwardly. That’s what he got for letting his guard down around the lot? Before he could say anything, the younger three had already begun to drag a very confused looking Yoongi down to the river shore, shouting over each other while trying to explain. 

Jimin stared after them. Soobin nudged him slightly. 

‘Come on, Ji’, he grinned at the elder. 

‘You look like it wouldn’t hurt you to throw some more stone insults, too’, Yeonjun added. 

Maybe they had a point, he decided. Glancing towards the river, he saw that everyone was occupied with looking for stones. He looked at the two alphas still standing next to him. 

‘Thank you’, he said and then quickly hugged first Soobin and then Yeonjun to underline his words. 

Smirking he made his way towards the shore, leaving the two staring after him in stunned silence.

-----                                                                                                                                      

Yoongi hadn’t known throwing stones and yelling out insults could feel so freeing. He had been confused at first when the kids dragged him down to the river, shouting over each other excitedly and trying to explain something. All he got from it was that he was supposed to look for stones, so he did. Any distraction was welcome after all. 

He was startled when Kai let out a small shriek and picked up a quite big stone. 

‘This one’s perfect’, he exclaimed before hurling it at the water and yelling: ‘Stupid fools!’ 

Yoongi blinked. Before he could comprehend what was going on, Beomgyu shouted ‘Damn hardheads!’ before throwing another stone. 

Jimin appeared next to Yoongi. ‘Sorry, hyung, I fear that one is my fault, I gave them this idea.’ 

He grinned, picked up a stone and launched it at the river. ‘Fucking morons!’ 

Yoongi stared at him. 

‘Come on, hyung, try it! Just let it all out!’ 

Jimin pushed a stone into his hand. 

Yoongi looked at it, thinking of his mates who were out there somewhere, having a great time while letting him worry about them and he felt his anger bubbling up even more than before. With a quick move he cast the stone out over the river. 

‘Untrustworthy liars!’ he yelled as he stared after the stone until it plopped into the water. Somehow this did feel good, he thought as he picked up another stone and let it follow the first. 

‘Careless ignorants!’ 

Jimin grinned as he watched Yoongi pick up the next stone. Maybe this was exactly what they needed after all.

-----

They threw rocks for the longest time. When the terrace had shut down and the lanterns had been turned off, Jimin and the lot had taken out their flashlights so they could continue. 

Yoongi’s arms were beginning to hurt. He had had no idea there were so many different insults out there. At some point it had become difficult to think of something they hadn’t used already. Most of them had slowed down considerably by now, not only because of the lack of new insults but also because they were getting tired. 

‘Crusty, toad-spotted waffle-eaters!’ 

Startled, Yoongi turned to stare at Beomgyu, along with everyone else. 

‘Say what now?’, he asked, fighting the laughter that was building up inside of him at the ridiculous insult. 

Beomgyu grinned. ‘Crusty, toad-spotted waffle-eaters’, he repeated and both Kai and Taehyun cracked up. 

‘Imagine’, Kai gasped, ‘what they would look like!’ 

Yoongi wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to forget the image that flashed through his mind at that prompt. He sure hoped so or else he would never be able to look at his mates with a straight face again. Now, wouldn’t that be fun, though? 

He exchanged a glance with Jimin whose eyes were sparkling with amusement and they both burst out laughing. Jimin doubled over and latched onto Yoongi’s arm for support but Yoongi was already wobbly on his legs himself and they both went down. 

Yoongi couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed like this. It felt good. Like something heavy had been lifted from his chest.

It took them a while to calm down again but once they had, they decided to call it a night. Slowly they made their way to the public restroom, falling into easy conversation along the way. 

The older kids seemed to have warmed up to Yoongi now. They had been a bit distrustful at first but he couldn’t really blame them for that. After all, they were just looking out for their intended pack. Remembering that he had wanted to talk to them anyway, he sidled up to them, making them turn their heads to him in surprise. 

He smiled. ‘Any chance you might want to hang out tomorrow?’ 

They exchanged a confused look. ‘I’m sure we’ll be around’, Soobin answered. ‘We always make sure to check in with Ji anyways.’ 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘I don't doubt I’ll see you all around tomorrow, Jimin has been whining about it a lot.’ 

That made them crack a smile. Menaces, Yoongi thought amusedly. All six of them actually. 

He turned his head to look at the boys. ‘I was asking just the two of you. A little alpha timeout. We can go for lunch or dinner somewhere if you want? I’m sure you could leave the kids with Jimin, although we might need to bring him a peace offering when we come back’, he smirked. 

They looked surprised, staring at him as though they weren’t sure they had heard him correctly.

‘You-, you want to spend time with us?’, Yeonjun asked incredulously.

‘Why?’, Soobin wondered, not sure what to make of this. 

Yoongi hummed. ‘Just thinking it might be nice. You deserve a little timeout, too, every now and then, don’t you think? It must be hard to look after your intended pack all by yourselves.’ 

Soobin stared at him. ‘You know?’, he asked. 

‘About you two seeing the other three as your future pack? It’s quite obvious seeing how protective you are of them and how close you all are already. I’m pretty sure Jimin knows, too.’ 

All of them looked over to Jimin who was currently battling off Kai, who had attached himself to his back. Yoongi turned back to the two younger alphas. 

‘You’re doing great, you know? It’s probably not easy, right? Sometimes it helps if you can talk about it to someone. I know you talk to Jimin, I’m just offering. Us alphas gotta stick together after all, don’t we?’ He gave them an encouraging smile. ‘So, what do you say? Lunch tomorrow?’ 

They exchanged a look. This wasn’t what either of them had expected from the elder. At all. He barely even knew them, yet he was offering his support? 

It would be nice, Soobin thought. Of course they knew they could always talk to Ji. And they did. But he was already doing so much for them and they didn’t want to burden him with more trivial things, especially when it came to ‘pack’ issues or alpha instincts, so oftentimes the smaller worries remained unspoken. 

But Yoongi had experience with packs. And he was a fellow alpha. It would be nice to talk to another alpha about stuff like that. To be able to take a small break, even if it was just for a very short time. 

Soobin looked at Yeonjun, who nodded, eyes bright. 

‘We’d love to, hyung.’

-----

They had left the lot at their bridge, where they had proudly shown Yoongi their sleeping arrangements up on a ledge that kept them well out of sight from anyone passing under the bridge. The spot was surprisingly spacey, Yoongi had discovered when he had finally managed to swing up. It had looked easy when the kids had done it, yet it was anything but. At least for Yoongi. They had teased him a bit but eventually helped him up. Jimin had stayed on the ground, claiming he had been up there more times than he could count. 

Yoongi wasn’t sure how he felt about the kids sleeping outside like this. Sure, they obviously were very capable of taking care of themselves and they had sleeping bags and so many blankets that they would definitely be warm but still. It just wasn’t right. The kids were obviously content enough right now and proud of their place, so Yoongi didn’t question it. Now wasn’t the time for that.

Instead, he praised them for choosing such a smart spot and for being so organized. He learned that they had several spots and not all of them were outside like this one. Soobin had told him that they liked to stay out during the hot summer months like now but that they rarely used this and one other spot as soon as it got colder. 

It had eased Yoongi’s worry a little bit. These kids were way more organized than he had thought. Still, at some point something would have to be done about this whole situation. Jimin’s and his hyungs’ situation as well. Although he had yet to meet them, he was already convinced that they must be good people. After all, they had taken care of Jimin. And Jimin really didn’t strike Yoongi as someone who would stick around bad people. 

Maybe it would be best to wait until he met Jimin’s hyungs before deciding on taking any action, though. They might have their own opinions on what kind of help they needed or would be willing to accept. 

‘Hyung?’ Yoongi startled. He had been quite deep in thought. They had almost made it to Jimin’s bridge now. He hummed questioningly. 

‘You aren’t mad at me for telling them? About your mates?’, Jimin sounded a bit worried. 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘I don’t see how you could have avoided it anyway what with my current mood swings and everything. It’s better like this. We couldn’t have kept it a secret from them for long. Don’t worry about it, Jimin-ah.’ 

He reached out and grabbed Jimin’s hand to squeeze it reassuringly. Jimin sighed in relief, squeezing back. 

‘I have a little confession to make myself’, Yoongi began as they slipped into the now almost familiar tunnels. 

‘Confess away, hyung. We’re like all in the dark, now is the best time. If I don’t like what I hear I will just let go of your hand and leave you here by yourself to think about what you have done.’ 

Yoongi was sure Jimin’s eyes must be sparkling with mischief right now. ‘Who says I can’t walk this way by myself by now?’, he shot back. 

Jimin halted. ‘Wanna try, hyung?’, he asked, slowly letting go of the other’s hand. In a flash, Yoongi gripped tighter. 

The beta laughed. ‘So what’s that confession of yours?’ 

‘I might have invited Yeonjun and Soobin to an alpha-only lunch date tomorrow.’ 

Jimin hummed. 

‘I just figured maybe they’d like the chance to talk to another alpha? It can’t be easy for them.’ 

They walked up the stairs to Jimin’s place and Jimin turned on the flashlight before looking at Yoongi. ‘I’m glad you asked them. I was going to ask you to. I think they could need some advice that I can’t give them. Also-‘, he hesitated. 

Yoongi looked at him. 

‘Out with it, Jimin-ah.’ He nodded encouragingly. 

‘Can you talk to them about not bottling up too much?’ Yoongi’s eyes widened. ‘They are so desperately trying to appear strong and reliable for the others all the time that they always seem a bit distanced. I talked to them today and realized that they crave affection and emotional support just like the other three but they keep holding back for the sake of the group. They might think that as the eldest they can’t allow themselves to let go like that?’ 

Oh. Yoongi could see how they had come to the conclusion that they needed to put on a strong front. They were still very young after all and their intended pack members even younger. If they wanted to protect them, they needed a reassuring and impressive appearance. But that didn’t go hand in hand with bottling everything up. It just wouldn’t do, it only worked up to a certain point. Yoongi would know, after all he had experienced it himself in a way. He understood why Jimin was asking him to talk to the two. Maybe it would help to hear from someone with a similar experience.

 He nodded at Jimin. ‘I get it, I’ll talk to them.’ He paused. ‘Damn’, he muttered as realization hit him. 

Jimin shot him a questioning look. 

‘I forgot to set a time and place to meet up with them.’ 

The younger burst into laughter. ‘Don’t worry, hyung. Just stick with me tomorrow and they’ll find you just fine.’

-----

Of course Jimin turned out to be right, the lot ended up finding them quite easily. 

They had gotten up early and run some errands Jimin had taken on the day before. This time, Yoongi had insisted on handling most of the tasks, Jimin just leading the way and acting as silent support. It amused Jimin just how much joy the elder seemed to find in doing some simple errands. It was endearing. 

Yoongi did a really good job, too. He was thorough and attentive and friendly and Jimin could tell the vendors were already warming up to him. 

Once they were finally done, Yoongi all but dragged Jimin into a café and ordered them a late breakfast, ignoring Jimin’s protests until they had been seated. 

‘Look, Jimin-ah’, he said, ‘you are letting me stay at your place. At least let me treat you to a meal every now and then.’ 

‘But there’s no nee-‘, Yoongi effectively silenced Jimin with a bite of the pancakes he had ordered for them. He smirked. ‘There may be no need, but there are pancakes here now. Eat, Jimin-ah.’ 

Jimin huffed in defeat and reached for his cutlery. These pancakes were delicious, he couldn’t deny that. And he hadn’t had any in a long time. Grumbling something to himself about unnerving alphas who never listened, he began eating. Yoongi just grinned, digging into his own portion. He had no plan of backing off and this was only the beginning anyway. The beta deserved so much better. Jimin would just have to get used to it. 

-----

They made their way back across the river afterwards so Jimin could show Yoongi the main base of the riverside community. 

Yoongi was a bit reluctant to just step in there seeing as he was an outsider, but everyone they met seemed to be very friendly and welcoming. The few people around greeted him with smiles. Down by the river, Yoongi saw a group of four kids playing with an old soccer ball. Every now and then, their carefree laughter made its way over to where they were currently standing in the middle of the riverside community. It felt peaceful. 

Jimin had explained that during the day most of the people living here were out on community tasks, jobs or errands. They usually returned in the early to late afternoon. Jimin first introduced Yoongi to Haneul, explaining that he was one of the heads of the community. He was an older beta, maybe somewhere in his mid-forties, if Yoongi had to guess. 

Haneul had looked surprised when Jimin had introduced Yoongi as his friend but then a big smile had formed on his face and he had told him that any friends of Ji’s were always welcome. Once again Yoongi was surprised at how friendly and inviting all these people were. 

‘There’s probably not much to see, but would you like a tour of our little community?’ Haneul inquired. Of course Yoongi accepted.

He hadn’t known what to expect from the community but it certainly wasn’t this. There were about twenty or so cardboard homes and other sheltering structures, made of whatever material seemed to have been available, clustered together under one bridge and its surrounding area. They weren’t all that big but could comfortably house one or two people at a time. Big enough to sleep in, not to actually live in, though. Yoongi kind of doubted one could even sit upright in most of those.

Haneul told him that most of their everyday life took place under various bridges along the perimeter and that the makeshift homes mostly functioned as places to sleep or to provide some privacy. Yoongi would have expected shelters like this to be unstable but they actually seemed to be quite sturdy. 

According to the community leader, a lot of thought and work went into each of the homes and they were actually built to last at least a year, preferably longer. Years of experience went into the structures and into re-enforcing them and most people in the community knew how to construct or at least repair them. Apparently the problem was not so much constructing them but rather finding the materials needed to do so. 

Large tarps were covering all constructions that weren’t placed under the bridge to protect them from rain. It was actually quite impressive, Yoongi had to admit. He wondered what they did in winter though, and Haneul admitted that the cold season could be tricky. When it got too cold, they would actually make use of homeless shelters or move to some less out in the open spots they knew for the nights. But in general they tried to stay at the river as much as possible. Too most of them this had become the place they considered home. 

They stopped at a shed-like structure made out of wood and some metal pieces. 

‘This is our workshop’, Haneul explained, opening the door and letting Yoongi take a look inside. It was quite dark but the community leader went over to what looked like an empty plastic canister hanging from the ceiling and fumbled with it for a moment. Suddenly the room was filled with light. 

Yoongi blinked. Haneul looked at him and laughed. 

‘This is where we work on improving our homes and tools or craft whatever else we need. Like these canister lamps. Come take a look if you want.’ 

Of course Yoongi wanted to. Stepping closer, he realized that someone had cut a hole into the top of the container that was just big enough to get the head of a flashlight inside. The handle was secured so that it was still outside, making the on and off switch easy to reach. 

‘The canister helps spread the light more evenly throughout the room’, Haneul explained. ‘If we were to only use the flashlight as it is, we’d need a lot of them to get enough light to actually work in here. But with this system, one or sometimes maybe two flashlights will be sufficient. The good thing about these lamps is that they are actually portable. When we spend time outside at night we can just set up some of them around the community to illuminate the surroundings. And when we go to sleep, some of us like to use them in our homes, too.’ 

Yoongi didn’t miss how Haneul referred to the shelters as homes. He supposed that for these people this place really was home after all. ‘That’s really impressive’, he said and then pointed to a narrower workstation at one end of the shed. ‘And what is that for?’ 

Jimin smiled. ‘That one’s for the kids. They can just experiment and craft there, learn how to build or improve things. Sometimes they also get tasks to help develop their skills. But whatever they want to try, they have to find the materials themselves. Or have someone help gather them. It’s kind of a learning by doing thing.’ 

Yoongi pictured the kids he had seen playing by the river experimenting with crafts and repairs and imagined it to be a quite fun experience. He knew for sure that he would have loved an opportunity like this as a child.

Making their way back outside, Yoongi inquired about the materials. Again, it was Jimin who answered. ‘There’s some people tasked with scavenging for materials every day. Most of it is actually stuff other’s threw away.’ 

‘We only buy what we absolutely cannot find or make ourselves. Like the flashlights and the batteries for them. Some of the vendors we work with sometimes have things we might need and put them aside for us, too. That’s where we get the empty canisters from, for example’, Haneul added. 

They were making their way towards the rivershore and Haneul pointed out a big fire pit. ‘Sometimes we cook here together but most of the time everyone is taking care of their meals by themselves. We still like to gather here in the evenings, though. Usually just to talk and catch up with each other but we also have two old guitars so every once in  a while someone will play and we sing.’ 

Jimin grinned at that. ‘Yoongi-hyung loves music!’ 

‘In that case you definitely should join us some night’, Haneul said brightly. Yoongi nodded. Somehow he really wanted to experience this. Maybe he could bring his own guitar as well.

They concluded their little tour down by the rivershore, where several handmade fishing rods were cast out. ‘There’s not a lot to catch here actually’, Jimin admitted, following Yoongi’s skeptical gaze across the river. 'Sometimes something does bite though, so the lines are always cast out.’ 

Haneul nodded. ‘It’s just a little extra if something actually bites here. Otherwise we have some people tasked with going fishing at parts of the river that are known as good fishing spots. That’s definitely more effective, this part of the river isn’t really the best source for fishing.’ 

Fleetingly, Yoongi thought of Jin. His hyung would probably enjoy this, seeing as he loved fishing a lot. Yoongi usually was the one to accompany him, although he wouldn’t say he himself was all that hooked on fishing. He just did it so Jin didn’t have to go by himself. 

-----

Eventually, Haneul excused himself to go after his daily business but not without reminding Yoongi that he was welcome to visit the community anytime. 

Yoongi turned to Jimin. ‘He seems like a great person.’ 

Jimin nodded. ‘He hasn’t been one of the heads of this community for years without reason. Haneul is well-respected not only by the community people but also by those outside of the community. He is one of the main reasons city officials tend to look the other way when it comes to this place. Since Haneul is strictly against any type of shady business and is very cooperative whenever information is asked for from official sides, the people living here actually have a somewhat ok reputation with both the police and city administration.’ 

‘The old man’s really quite cool’, a voice from behind interrupted. 

Turning around, Yoongi decided he really shouldn’t be surprised to see the kids appear just around lunchtime like Jimin had predicted. 

‘Hey’, Jimin scolded them mildly, ‘what happened to showing respect for your elders?’ 

Beomgyu snickered. ‘I don’t think you want to know, Ji.’ 

Kai and Taehyun burst out laughing. 

Jimin shook his head at the three of them. ‘I wonder why I even asked’, he muttered. 

‘We are respectful!’, Taehyun exclaimed. 

‘Yeah, we call Yoongi-hyung hyung!’, Kai added triumphantly. 

Jimin gave Yoongi a look. ‘You should be proud, that’s more than most of us around here get’, he said in mock envy. 

Yoongi just grinned. ‘I have my ways’, he smirked before turning to Soobin and Yeonjun, who had slowly come up behind the three younger kids. 

‘I take it you came for our lunch date?’ 

They nodded, smiling. 

‘We’re going to have lunch with Yoongi-hyung?!’, Taehyun asked excitedly. 

Jimin shook his head. ‘Not you. Only Soobin and Yeonjun. They are going to have some alpha time with hyung.’ 

He watched as the youngers’ faces fell at the prospect of being excluded. 

‘But we want to go, too’, Kai whined. 

They turned to Soobin and Yeonjun. 

‘Let’s all go together, yeah?’, Beomgyu asked. 

‘We won’t interrupt your talk, either!’, Taehyun promised. 

‘It’ll be so much more fun if we all go together! Pretty please?’, Kai inquired. 

The two alphas exchanged a glance. ‘I’m sorry, you can’t come along this time. There’s some important things we’d like to talk to Yoongi-hyung about’, Soobin said and when they were about to protest, Yeonjun quickly added, ‘We won’t be gone for long anyway and we can all still hang out together afterwards, ok?’ 

Apparently, it was not ok. Jimin watched the younger ones exchange a long, meaningful look before turning towards the alphas in unison.

‘That’s not fair!’, Taehyun exclaimed. 

‘You always get to do the fun stuff and we just have to do as you say’, Beomgyu pouted and Kai added ‘You’re hogging Yoongi-hyung all to yourself, that’s so selfish!’ 

Soobin bit his lip and Yeonjun looked at the ground. 

Yoongi glanced at Jimin, wondering if he should step in but Jimin shook his head, moving over to him. 

‘I’ll take care of them. Looks like the kids do need a little talk about respect for their elders after all’, he whispered to Yoongi. The other nodded. He reached for his wallet and pulled out some notes, handing them to Jimin who frowned at him. ‘Take them to have lunch somewhere, too. Not that they really deserve it right now but an extra meal can’t hurt them.’ 

Jimin supposed Yoongi had a point there so for once he simply nodded and took the money. Now wasn’t the time to argue about something like that anyway. 

They turned their attention back to the lot to find that things had gotten a bit more heated during their short conversation. 

‘You always get what you want!’, Beomgyu said darkly and Taehyun angrily added ‘We don’t have to listen to you anyway, you’re not our parents!’ 

Kai nodded vigorously. ‘You’re only ever just ordering us around and it sucks. We’re sick of always doing what you decide!’ 

The two elder kids reeled back looking stricken and Jimin decided that this was enough. He stepped in front of them and faced the younger ones. 

‘Yah!’, he said, giving them a stern look. ‘You won’t ruin this for them, you hear me? Soobin and Yeonjun are always looking out for you, making sure you have everything you need and keeping you safe. Where would you even be without them, huh? Do you remember any time they have ever asked for some time for themselves? Because I don’t. They fucking deserve to take some time off to talk to a fellow alpha and to relax for once because you guys are sure as heck not easy to look after.’ 

He glared at them and they glanced at each other, some silent communication passing between them.

‘Besides’, Jimin added and they turned their attention back to him, ‘you are not alphas, so you have no business butting in on alpha timeout. You’re not going to go along, so stop being mean for no reason right now.’ 

‘Fine’, Taehyun huffed as they yet again glared at Soobin and Yeonjun, ‘go have your alpha time with Yoongi-hyung then. We don’t need you anyway!’ 

Beomgyu and Kai nodded determinedly. ‘The three of us are just fine by ourselves! We'll have our own omega-beta time from now on.'

They turned to leave but almost immediately Beomgyu and Taehyun, who had been standing closest to Jimin, were yanked back by their arms, which in turn made Kai stop in his tracks, too. 

‘Oh no, you won’t’, Jimin growled at them. ‘You’re going to come with me and we are going to have a nice long talk ourselves.’ 

Keeping a tight grip on the two he turned around to glance at Yoongi, who nodded. Then he turned his attention to Soobin and Yeonjun who had paled visibly and looked crestfallen. Jimin wished he could hug them right now but he wasn’t about to risk letting go of the two troublemakers he had in his grip. He wouldn’t put it past them to still disappear when let go off at this point. So instead he gave the two alphas his warmest and most heartfelt smile. 

‘Go with Yoongi-hyung, let him spoil you. You really deserve it. Stay as long as you like. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of these three.’ 

He watched as they hesitated, throwing glances at the three younger ones who purposefully ignored them, staring off in a different direction. Yoongi, who had slowly walked up to them, took each of them by an arm and gently began dragging them along with him. ‘Let’s go’, he said softly. ‘Don’t worry, everything will be ok.’ 

And with that he gently stirred them away from the river.

Chapter Text

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Came home to an empty apartment. Where have you all gone off to?

Jungkook laughed as he stole a piece of meat from Hoseok’s plate, making the elder sigh and reach out to refill his plate. The beach barbecue was in full swing and he had made it his mission to see how far he could take the food stealing with each of his mates. 

Jin had been the first to cave, threatening the younger with his fork while scolding him good-naturedly. Namjoon had followed shortly after, having thrown a handful of sand at the smirking youngest alpha, telling him to get his own food instead of stealing from his plate. Now only Taehyung and Hoseok were left and so far neither of them were showing any sign of being annoyed. 

Leaning forward, Jungkook snatched the skewer Tae had just gotten for himself from the beta’s plate, watching in silent amusement as Taehyung looked up and raised an eyebrow. He wondered which one of them would explode first.

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Is everything alright? Did something happen?

Taehyung exchanged a look with Hoseok. It hadn’t taken either of them long to figure out just what exactly their youngest mate was up to and they had been trying to silently communicate how to deal with this for a while now. There was no way they would give Jungkook what he wanted but this had been going on for the better part of an hour now and at this point he really was testing their patience. They had to do something before either of them blew up. 

Nodding subtly to the older beta, he leaned over the barbecue and grabbed a piece of meat, dropping it on the younger’s plate with a smile. Hoseok followed his example swiftly, adding another piece and some vegetables to the stunned alpha’s plate. 

‘What’s this?’, Jungkook asked bewildered. 

‘Your plate’s way too empty’, Taehyung said, adding a piece of tofu. ‘You really should eat more, Kookie.’ 

Jungkook frowned at his plate which was slowly beginning to overflow with food. ‘Stop that, that’s way too much!’

Hoseok frowned. ‘Huh. I really got the impression you were hungry, though. Tae?’ He turned questioningly to his fellow beta, who nodded. ‘Yeah, me, too.’ He glanced at Jungkook’s plate, which was filled to the brim with food. The alpha was juggling it precariously on his knees, trying not to spill anything. 

‘Oh my, Jungkookie’, Hoseok gasped with wide eyes, staring at the plate in mock surprise. ‘I’m so sorry, we probably went a little overboard, didn’t we?’ 

Jungkook just glared at him. Taehyung decided to give him a blinding smile. 

‘Don’t worry, we will help you finish it.’ And with that, both betas moved to sit closer to Jungkook and began eating from his plate. Namjoon and Jin, who by now had caught on to the younger’s scheme as well, watched as Jungkook finally realized what was going on. Seeing his confused expression turn into one of understanding, annoyance and then resignation, they burst out laughing. 

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Guys? Seriously, are you ok?

Hoseok couldn’t stop grinning as he washed his hands at the public restroom. Jungkook had been so grumpy about having his plan thwarted like that. None of them had lost a word about the whole thing but the youngest kept glaring at either him or Tae from time to time. Even now that the barbecue was almost over. 

Hoseok loved beach barbecues, especially for their atmosphere. There was just something about sitting around those rentable barbecue sites and grilling a variety of foods with your friends, family or in his case, pack, that was especially cozy and relaxing. 

All in all it had been an amazing day. Swimming, beach volleyball, sandcastle building, water fights, barbecue – they had done it all and he had enjoyed every second of it. It had been a long time since they had gotten some time off for themselves like this. And they really had needed it, he thought. The past few months had been so stressful on all of them. Today it felt like they had finally been able to unwind and recharge. 

He frowned. The barbecue had been the last thing on their to do list for today. Somehow, he wished the day didn’t have to end yet. Making his way back to where the pack was sitting, a poster pasted to the side of an ice cream stall caught his attention. His eyes widened. Maybe the day really didn’t have to end yet, he thought, hurrying back to tell his mates about his discovery.

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Where are you? It’s almost 10 p.m., I haven’t heard from any of you in hours. I’m really starting to worry.

The firework show was gorgeous. There was no other way to put it. Namjoon had been a bit skeptical when Hoseok had first told them about it. After all, what could one even expect from some not very well promoted firework display held at a beach that wasn’t a popular tourist spot? But the pyrotechnicians had outdone themselves. There was music playing from some speakers and the fireworks were synchronized to it. It was almost like watching them dance along the sky, a cacophony of colors and sounds blending together perfectly against the dark yet starry night sky. 

Namjoon had been so enraptured by the display that he had been surprised when the first break was announced. Had it really already been half an hour? The show consisted of three parts, each approximately thirty minutes long with ten minute breaks in between. To Namjoon it seemed like this first part had literally flown by. 

He looked at his mates, crowded together on one of their blankets. Hobi, Tae and Jungkook had turned into one big mess of tangled limbs, huddled together as closely as possible. Jin was sitting right next to Namjoon. All of them were gushing about the show in hushed tones, careful not to destroy the atmosphere by speaking too loudly. 

The moment felt kind of magical. Taking in everyone’s happy and relaxed expressions, Namjoon thought that attending this show had been a great idea. The perfect way to end a perfect day. He couldn’t remember the last time they had such a fun and eventful pack day. Seeing his mates this happy and relaxed made him feel warm. 

Leaning slightly to his right, he burrowed into Seokjin’s side, the elder’s arm immediately wrapping around him and pulling him closer. 

‘I’m really glad we came here today’, he said quietly. 

Jin’s arms around him tightened in a squeeze. ‘So am I’, he whispered back.

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: What is going on? Why aren’t any of you checking your phones? Are you alright? 

Of course they wouldn’t make it back home without at least one stop on the way, Jin thought as he watched Taehyung and Jungkook all but storm into the 24/7 fast food place. How everyone was ready to eat again already was beyond him. It had only been about four hours since the barbecue and they hadn’t done anything physically exhausting. Then again, he himself wouldn’t mind a burger and some fries at this point, too, so who was he to judge? 

He frowned as he joined his mates at the counter, looking over the menu choices. 

‘What’s with that frown?’, Hoseok playfully nudged him with his shoulder. ‘Don’t tell me they have nothing you fancy?’ 

Jin shook his head. There was something niggling at the back of his mind that he just couldn’t quite pinpoint. 

‘I dunno’, he growled lowly. 

It caught everyone’s attention. Jin rarely ever growled. 

Namjoon put a hand on his arm. ‘Share it with us?’ 

Jin shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He gave them a small smile. 

‘I really don’t know. It’s just that for a second there I had the feeling as though we were forgetting about something. I can’t figure it out, though, so it’s probably nothing.’ 

‘Forgetting about something?’, Tae frowned, thinking hard. ‘I don’t think so. We packed everything, didn’t we?’ 

They fell silent as each of them mentally went over everything they had packed back into the van before leaving the beach. 

Jungkook shook his head. ‘The only thing we left behind was the broken water gun and the blanket that Hobi-hyung spilled his Sprite on.’

‘And the old tarp’, Taehyung added with a frown. 

‘If it’s not something we left behind, maybe it’s something we have to do?’, Hoseok asked. 

Namjoon shook his head. ‘I already went over our schedule in my head. There’s nothing irregular tomorrow at all, just our usual training schedules. We planned this whole trip because tomorrow is easy on us, remember?’ 

They nodded in agreement. It had been the main reason they had decided to schedule their trip in the first place.

‘Sorry, hyung, I don’t think we can help you with this’, Taehyung mumbled. 

Jin smiled. ‘It’s fine. It was just a fleeting feeling anyway. Who knows what might have triggered it. Let’s just make our choices and order already.’

They ended up with a lot more food than initially planned. 

‘I can’t believe we ordered this much after just having had the barbecue’, Namjoon shook his head in disbelief. 

Taehyung cackled. ‘We should take a picture of that.’ He reached into his back pocket for his phone, only for his hand to come back empty handed. For a second he frowned but then he remembered that they had put away their phones after Hoseok’s almost blow up earlier today, locking them in the car’s glove compartment. After their initial swim, all of them had decided that it might be a great idea to try and go without the devices for the day, fully focusing on their beach activities without any temptation lurking around. And so the phones had been taken to the car. 

Taehyung hadn’t thought he would be able to last without the precious device for long but apparently he had been wrong. He hadn’t even missed it until now. At all. And it seemed like that was the same for his mates. None of them had even thought about getting their phones out of the compartment until now. 

He grinned at the others. ‘Jin-hyung, car keys.’ 

Startled, Jin complied, fishing for the keys in his pocket. 

‘I’m going to go get our phones,’ Taehyung explained, watching in amusement as realization hit his mates. ‘We haven’t even taken any memorial pictures at the beach, we should at least take one here.’ 

Grabbing the keys Jin was holding out to him, he jumped up and hurriedly made his way to the van, leaving his mates behind with dumbfounded expressions. Had they really completely forgotten about their phones? 

Namjoon smiled. It’s not something that happened often, they usually felt quite compelled to check their phones very regularly. The day must have been really perfect for them to not have missed the devices at all.

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: Please, just answer something. Let me know you are ok. I'm fucking worried here.

It only took Taehyung a few minutes to grab the phones and make his way back inside. Putting the ones that didn’t belong to him on the table, he checked his own, ready to pull up the camera. A frown formed on his face as he saw that he had several missed calls and even more new messages waiting in their group chat. 

‘Maybe you should check your phones, too’, he said, opening the chat to check the messages. 

Noticing his mood change, the others sent him a questioning look and reached for their own devices. One by one they noticed the missed calls from Yoongi and went to check their messages. 

‘Oh’, Namjoon breathed after reading them, looking up to meet the stares of his mates. ‘We were going to return on time to meet Yoongi at the dorm tonight.’ 

Jin nodded. ‘So that’s why I felt like we had forgotten something.’ 

They looked at each other. 

‘What now?’, Hoseok wondered. ‘We can hardly tell him that we had a pack day at the beach without him and forgot about him, can we?’ 

‘It definitely wouldn’t improve our situation with him’, Namjoon agreed, frowning. ‘He’d probably shut us out even more and he’s just started to turn back to us again today.’ 

‘He really did’, Taehyung agreed excitedly. ‘Doesn’t that mean that our method worked? Before we started to ignore his messages, he kept pushing us away but now he is actually reaching out to us. He even wants to spend time with us. Don’t you all see what this means? Our method worked!’ 

They stared at him and then turned their attention back to their phones, re-reading the messages Yoongi had sent them recently. 

‘That café place he sent a picture of this morning looks really nice’, Jin mused and they all agreed. ‘We should go there someday.’ 

Hoseok brightened up at that. ‘That’s it! We can make plans to go there with him. He wanted to go with us, he’ll be happy.’ 

Namjoon smiled. ‘He’d love that, I’m sure of it. Does everyone agree with that?’ Four heads nodded at him. ‘Alright, let’s plan that then. But what will we tell him right now?’ 

Silence fell upon them. 

It hadn’t been their intention to forget about Yoongi and they did feel guilty about it. On the other hand, hadn’t it been the alpha’s own fault, too? He had been the one to push them away in the first place, even when they had tried to reach out to him. Who could blame them for wanting to get away from that situation for a while, for trying to have a good time? 

Jungkook frowned. ‘Don’t get me wrong’, he began, looking at his mates, ‘but I don’t think we need to apologize to him. He was the one to shut us out, he pushed us away when we tried to reach him.’ 

Catching on, Taehyung nodded. ‘True. It’s his fault we are in this stressful situation in the first place. So what if we wanted to get away for a bit, to relax and enjoy ourselves?’ 

‘None of us could have known he would choose this exact day to decide to reach out to us again’, Hoseok added. 

Namjoon sighed. ‘So you are suggesting what exactly?’ 

Hesitatingly, Jin looked around the table. ‘It has been such a great day until now. Do we really have to deal with this right now? I don’t want to end today with such a gloomy meal.’ 

They all nodded at that. 

‘So how about we deal with this after we come home?’ 

‘And not answer him now at all?’, Namjoon frowned, feeling out their bond for the older alpha’s emotions. ‘He really does seem quite worried.’ 

‘Well, maybe it will do him some good to know what it feels like to worry about your mates!’, Taehyung said angrily. ‘He had us worried and scared that night, too, and on top of that he pushed us away after that. So maybe he needs to experience firsthand how all of that feels!’ 

Hoseok nodded. ‘I’m tired of being considerate of him when all he does is hurt us. I know you think so, too. It’s just that none of you dare speak it out loud.’ 

‘He started this and now he chooses today of all days to make up. Well, we’ve been busy today. It happens. There’s nothing to it. He’s been busy for weeks and we had to just take it.’ Jungkook looked upset. 

Jin sighed. ‘I’m sorry, but I’m done being considerate for now. I want to enjoy the rest of this meal and not deal with this drama. And there definitely will be drama if we reach out to him now and he learns of our day.’ 

Namjoon looked around the table. He could understand his mates. The past weeks had put a mental strain on all of them and today they had finally managed to put that behind them, to forget about it and be carefree and happy. Even he himself didn’t feel up for the drama that would inevitably engulf them once Yoongi learned how they had spent their day. 

He sighed. It wouldn’t be too bad if they waited to solve this until they arrived at the dorm, right? After all, Yoongi hadn’t written again in almost 30 minutes now, so maybe he had moved on already, anyway. And they would be home within another hour and a half at the latest. If Yoongi was still up then, they could talk it out with him in person. And if not, they’d do just that tomorrow morning. 

He nodded at his mates. ‘Alright. I get where you are coming from. Let’s not let this trip end with bad memories. But we will talk to him as soon as we get home, no matter how late it gets, ok?’ 

Again, they nodded. 

‘We will solve this once we get home’, Jin reaffirmed. ‘For now though, let’s not let this mood drag us down. Bad mood isn't wanted here. Cheer up or I’ll bury you all in fries.’ 

He picked up a fry and flung it at Taehyung, who shrieked and almost spilled his drink on Jungkook. 

They burst out laughing, the earlier carefree and happy mood quickly restored.

-----

In silent agreement none of them checked their phones for the rest of their trip back home. They had decided on having a good time until they arrived back at the dorm and another message from Yoongi might just kill the good mood they had worked hard on restoring after discovering the alpha’s messages. 

Namjoon wondered if they were being too harsh with Yoongi. Was it really ok to make him worry like this when they could have just put his mind at ease with one simple message? Then again, Yoongi had had them worried for him not only that one damn night but for weeks afterwards. They had been doing their best to wait for him, to be patient with him, but it had begun to take a toll on them as well.

It should be ok to put themselves first for once, he convinced himself as Jin turned the car into their apartment complex underground parking lot. Yoongi had been selfish for weeks now, shutting them out and making them wonder. They should be allowed to be selfish for one day as well. 

The apartment was dark when they arrived. Turning on the lights, Jin turned to the living room, more or less expecting to find Yoongi there, having fallen asleep while waiting for them. 

Only, the living room was empty. 

They shared a look and walked over to the alpha’s room. It had gotten pretty late after all and they all knew how much Yoongi valued sleep. He might have just gone to bed. 

Taehyung opened the door carefully, trying to not make any sound in case the elder was asleep. The last thing any of them would want was to wake him up if he was already asleep in his bed after all. The light from the hallway illuminated the room enough to make Tae realize that the bed was empty. Frowning, he flipped the light switch. 

They stared at the unused bed. Hadn’t Yoongi written that he would be home tonight? 

‘The pack room’, Hoseok whispered almost excitedly and they stared at each other. It would make sense, wouldn’t it? Yoongi hadn’t slept there in weeks but he had been worried for them and surrounding himself with their scents would probably have calmed him down. They had done the same the night he had gone missing. 

Giddy anticipation filled their bond as they made their way over to their shared bedroom. Maybe once they had talked this all out, Yoongi would finally agree to sleep in the room with them again? This time they didn’t bother to be silent when they entered the room. They wanted their mate to be awake in the pack room, to sort this out and then cuddle with him. 

‘Yoongi-hyung’, Hoseok all but sang, opening the door and reaching for the light switch. ‘We’re ba-‘, he broke off and stared at the empty bed in disbelief. The others stepped around him, their expressions mirroring his own.

‘He isn’t here, either’, Jungkook stated the obvious. ‘Didn’t he say he would be home tonight, though?’ 

Jin nodded. ‘He did and he was home earlier. Remember his texts?’ 

‘Maybe he went back to his studio. We are really late after all, he might have gotten tired of waiting for us’, Namjoon tried to soothe his mates as he felt disappointment and a hint of anger make their way into the bond. 

‘Well’, Jungkook huffed annoyed, ‘when we were worried about him, we didn’t go anywhere.’ 

The others nodded in agreement. 

‘Maybe he left us a message at least’, Tae suggested. 

They reached for their phones to check them for the first time in more than an hour.

Alpha-Beta-Club

Yoongi: You know what? Forget it. Here I was worrying for you and ready to call management or the police when you are simply having a good time. You could have at least let me know you’re alright. I’m going out again. Don’t look for me.

‘Don’t look for me’, Jin read out loud. ‘Sounds like he was really upset.’ 

Silently they turned their attention to their bond. So far today their collective good mood and joy had been on the forefront. Neither of them had bothered much to feel out what exactly Yoongi was feeling. By now they had gotten used to the negative tinge his emotions had taken on after the attack and none of them had wanted to have to deal with that on the day of their little getaway. Today had been for them after all. A chance to step away from the situation, to relax and recharge. Having to deal with Yoongi's negativity would have made it impossible to enjoy the day.

That was before, though. They had sworn to fix the situation with the alpha once they got back home and that meant they also had to deal with any sadness or gloominess the bond might be carrying from his side. Even with the text messages having caused slight disruptions to their otherwise more than perfect day they felt refreshed and prepared enough to deal with whatever sorrow or despair Yoongi was currently going through.

What they weren’t prepared for, was the burning anger and disappointment that flooded them the moment they tapped into their mate's emotions. There was no trace of the hopeless sadness they had gotten used to, not even of the worry Namjoon had felt from him earlier at the restaurant. All they could make out were irritation, annoyance, and dismay.

Sharing a look, they frowned at each other. That wasn’t what they had expected at all.

‘Whoa’, Taehyung muttered under his breath, unsure what to make of this new development. They had never felt anything like this from Yoongi before. ‘He really is mad.’

Hoseok huffed, annoyance creeping up on him at the unfairness of how Yoongi was reacting right now. ‘Well, he shouldn’t be. He’s been pushing us away for weeks and we haven’t been angry with him about it. But when we decide to have a good time for one day, he thinks he has a right to be mad?!’ 

Jungkook frowned as a thought crossed his mind. ‘What if he went back to this Jimin person, though?’ 

They stared at each other. That was a possibility none of them had considered until now. Would Yoongi really do something like that? Promise them to be home tonight but then leave to be with someone else just because they had returned a bit late? It didn’t seem like something he’d do. Yoongi was always eager to keep the peace in their pack, he hated being at odds. Then again, he was angry. Neither of them could remember ever having felt this kind of anger radiating from their eldest alpha. Would he turn to someone else in his fury?

‘If he did, I wonder if he really cares for us. He promised to be here tonight! He should have known we’d return at some point.’ Taehyung crossed his arms. 

Jin made his way over to the bed, switching on the bedside lamp. ‘He should at least have let us known where he is. We’re his mates after all. I’m not going to lie, I’m quite disappointed right now. He told us he’d be here. If he really wanted to solve this situation he would have stayed, wouldn’t he?’ 

Namjoon had been watching his mates in silence. He could feel their disappointment about not having met Yoongi at home and their irritation about the alpha just leaving like this and being angry at them thrumming through their bond. There was no denying that he himself felt slightly aggravated as well. Yoongi had put them into this situation in the first place, had been burdening them with it for weeks and they had been patiently waiting for him all along. And now it took only one day, one single day of them putting themselves first, and he thought he had the right to be upset? It simply wasn’t fair. 

Didn't they deserve to step away for a moment as well? Why shouldn't they be allowed to focus on themselves when that was exactly what Yoongi had been doing all along? How else did he expect them to deal with this? They had tried their best, had reached out to him again and again but he hadn't wanted their support. There was no way he could just expect them to be on his back and call at any given minute, waiting for him to come around again. They had needed this timeout, there was no reason to be this mad at them.

Namjoon was done with this whole situation. They were going to solve this here and now, he decided. Taking out his phone again, he looked at the others. ‘I’m going to call him’, he said with determination while pulling up the alpha’s contact. ‘Tell him to come home and once he is back here, we will settle this once and for all. Tonight’ 

Seeing agreement on his mates’ faces, he quickly dialed Yoongi’s number.

‘The number you have called is currently unavailable. Please try again later.’

Namjoon pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it in disbelief before trying once more, only to hear the same announcement again. He growled as he ended the call and pocketed his phone, meeting the confused stares of his pack members. There was no sugar coating this.

‘It looks like he has turned off his phone.’ 

They stared at him in disbelief, taking out their own devices and trying to call Yoongi only to be met with the same announcement Namjoon had gotten. It didn’t take long for anger and dismay to take over their bond, erasing any traces of the earlier relaxation and happiness that might have still been left behind. 

Namjoon heaved a sigh. It would be a long night.

-----

It did in fact become a long night, filled with angry complaints, disappointed sighing, and sad crying. None of them got any real sleep so in the morning Namjoon once more called the company and asked for a few more days off because of a pack emergency. 

It wasn’t easy to avoid the questions of their manager but he somehow managed not to spill too much, vaguely explaining something about an unsolved situation that had been weighing on them for a while now and needed to be fixed. They were lucky their management was this understanding about pack matters, he thought when he ended the call and told the rest of the band that they had the rest of the week off to fix things. 

Three more days, including today. Not a lot, but they all supposed Yoongi would come home sometime today or at the very least turn his phone on again so they could reach him. It wasn’t like the alpha to hold grudges. All they needed was for him to show up or contact them. They knew how to handle him, after all. There was no need to worry about fixing the situation once they were back in touch with him. They knew how to handle this. For now they would just have to wait for Yoongi to reach out again.

Only, Yoongi didn’t reach out and he also didn’t come home. 

They stayed at the dorm all day on Friday, waiting for him to return and frequently both checking their phones for messages and trying to call Yoongi’s phone, which stayed turned off. In the early afternoon they became restless. Why didn’t he at least contact them? He couldn’t be that upset now, right? They called his studio line at intervals but nobody picked up. Not that they had expected him to be there. If he really was set on avoiding them for now, he would know to also avoid his studio as that would obviously be the first place they would come looking for him.

At some point, Jin caved and called the reception desk, asking them to check whether Yoongi was in his studio. He wasn’t and according to the staff lady he hadn’t been in all day, either. Pretending to know where the alpha might be so as not to alarm the staff to their current situation, Jin thanked her and hung up. 

The afternoon turned into evening and no word from Yoongi. Dinner was a silent affair, something that rarely ever happened with them. The silence stretched on afterwards, too, as they were gathering in the living room to wait for Yoongi’s return. They weren’t in the mood to watch a movie or play games or even to talk to each other. And so they continued to sit in silence until it became hard to stay awake. It was way past midnight when they decided to call it a night, realizing that Yoongi most likely wouldn’t return anymore that night. They knew sleep would most likely evade them yet again but there was nothing else they could do for now. Settling in for the night, all of them hoped for things to turn out better the next day.

Chapter Text

While his mates were waiting for him to come home, Yoongi was trying his best to reassure Yeonjun and Soobin that everything would be ok. He wasn’t sure what exactly had happened down at the river but seeing the kids at odds with each other somehow felt wrong.

Yoongi simply couldn’t bring himself to refer to them as ‘lot’ as well. Sure, they were a handful, but to him they were just kids. Maybe in the future, when they had annoyed him as much as they apparently managed to annoy Jimin he would reconsider this though. 

He wasn’t sure what to think about the outburst of the three younger kids. After all he didn’t really know them yet. It definitely had been disrespectful, something he hadn’t expected after the first impression he had gotten of them the day before. They had seemed like good kids then, so he reckoned that there might be more behind the outburst than met the eye.

If there was, Jimin would figure it out, Yoongi was sure of that. He had to suppress a grin when he thought of how well the younger had handled the other three. Jimin had seemed upset, so they probably were in for a ride with him. Those three kids weren’t his problem though, he reminded himself as he turned his attention back to the two boys sitting opposite him. 

When he had stirred them away from the community and the three troublemakers, it had been obvious that they were reluctant to leave. But at this point, staying wouldn’t have done them any good either. The kids, for whatever reason, seemed to be upset about something and needed to calm down first. Plus, staying or inviting them to come along after saying they couldn't would have been like rewarding them for the disrespect they had just shown towards their elders. And that might actually have undermined some of the authority Yeonjun and Soobin held in their little group. 

He had explained all of this to the two younger alphas as they made their way through the streets, looking for a place to eat. There weren’t that many restaurants in this area. Maybe the downtown area would have been the better choice but Yoongi had a feeling that Jimin would take the other kids there and he wasn’t about to risk running into them, so he decided to stay on this side of the river. 

In the end they had settled on a BBQ restaurant. It was a bit more upscale than the places closer to the river but Yoongi didn’t really care about that. The place had little private booths which would give them a great opportunity to actually talk without any danger of someone recognizing him. The kids had been reluctant to go in at first, though, claiming it was way too expensive. It had taken Yoongi quite a while to convince them that the prices really didn’t matter to him. 

Yoongi had requested a private booth, ordered the all-you-can eat-course for all of them while ignoring the boys' new protests about that being too expensive and now they were waiting for their first selection of food to arrive. He could tell that the two kids were still upset about what had happened at the river. Not that he could blame them, those brats had delivered a serious low blow there. 

He sighed, then gave them a smile. ‘Are you alright?’, he asked, testing the waters. He didn’t really know these kids yet and didn’t want to overstep. If they didn’t want to talk about it, he would accept that. 

They pondered his question for a bit and exchanged a meaningful look before Soobin slowly shook his head, biting his lower lip. 

‘Hey’, Yoongi said, reaching out a hand to squeeze the boy’s arm reassuringly. ‘It’ll be alright, I’m sure of that. Whatever it was that got them so riled up will pass and they’ll come around.’ 

The dejected look on their faces made it obvious that they didn't share his sentiment.

‘What if they don’t?’, Soobin whispered. ‘What if they’ve had enough? They said they didn’t need us and they sounded so serious.’ 

Yoongi really hoped Jimin was giving those kids a good scolding. He was actually quite sure that they hadn’t meant the words they said but they had really hurt the two elder kids and that wasn’t ok at all. 

‘Look at me’, he said, waiting for the two boys to meet his gaze. ‘Whatever their reason was, they will come around. Things like this happen sometimes in packs, there’s bound to be disagreements because of the power imbalance. You didn’t do anything wrong and deep down they know that. Just give them some time to calm down.’ And give Jimin some time to set them straight about their shitty behavior so it won’t happen again, he added in his thoughts. Any issues could be communicated in a respectful manner, after all. His own mates and their current communication issues came to his mind at that thought and he had to bite back a bitter laugh. Who was he to give advice like this when his own pack failed so hard at communicating? The irony wasn't lost on him.

The younger boys still didn’t look very convinced by Yoongi’s reasoning. He sighed. ‘Look’, he said, ‘even if you aren’t a real pack at this point, you two are still the ones in charge. Soobin, obviously, because you all chose him as your leader. But in the end, you two work as a team and make important decisions together anyway, don’t you?’ 

He smiled when they nodded. ‘In that case, tell me about the kind of decisions you make. Do you think the kids have any real reason to be this upset with you?’ 

They took a moment to answer, exchanging another look. Their silent communication was really something, Yoongi thought to himself. He figured it might come in handy with the three younger ones around, though. Eventually, Soobin sighed. ‘We just try to look out for them; to keep them safe. We didn’t know they felt like this. We didn’t mean to control them, we really didn’t.’ 

Yeonjun nodded. ‘We always try to let them do what they want but sometimes it’s just not safe for them. Or we can’t afford it. But we always try.’ 

Yoongi didn’t like the dejected sound of that at all. If they made decisions to keep their intended pack safe, they should be proud of themselves, not feel bad about it. 

‘Can you give me an example of such a decision?’ 

They were interrupted by a waiter who served their first order and drinks. Yoongi assured him that he was familiar with the table barbecue by reaching over to turn it on. 

‘Have you done this before?’, he asked the kids, not surprised when they shook their heads. BBQ restaurants were probably way out of their budget. He smiled. ‘But you probably had barbecues at the river at some point, right?’ 

Yeonjun nodded. ‘The community sometimes has one in the evenings’, he paused. ‘Not often, though.’ 

‘Well, then you’ll be just fine here, too’, Yoongi said. ‘It kind of works the same way. We just barbecue whatever is served uncooked here at the table and eat it with the side dishes we’ve ordered.’ 

He handed them thongs and let them place some pieces of meat and vegetables on the grill. Slowly, the tension seemed to ease from their shoulders. Maybe a barbecue place had been a better choice than he initially thought. At least it served as a great distraction. 

Yoongi had all but forgotten about the question he had asked them before when Soobin suddenly spoke up. ‘We decided that they can’t run errands by themselves. They have to go with either one of us. At least Kai and Beomgyu. It’s not like we stereotype sub genders or anything but they are still kids and kind of naïve at times and the streets can be dangerous, especially for omegas.’ 

Well, Yoongi thought, that answered his question as to whether there were omegas in the group. He really had totally forgotten to ask Jimin about that. ‘Taehyun is a beta, then?’, he asked. 

Yeonjun nodded. ‘We let him run smaller errands by himself from time to time. He is definitely more assertive than the other two, so as long as it’s easy things in familiar surroundings we trust him to do fine.’ 

Yoongi thought that sounded reasonable. He was pretty sure that if he were in their position, he would decide in a similar way. ‘I take it they don’t like that?’ 

They sighed. 

‘Of course not. They insist that they are very much capable of doing everything on their own. And we don’t doubt that. It’s just that… With Taehyunnie we can be at least sure that he would recognize trouble when he came across it. He would try his best to stay out of it. The other two, though…’, Yeonjun shrugged his shoulders. 

‘They’d probably add to it and draw attention to themselves’, Soobin concluded for him. 

‘It’s just for now’, Yeonjun added as an afterthought. ‘Until they are a bit older and more experienced.’ 

Yoongi nodded in understanding. It seemed to him like the kids had made their decision under careful consideration of all factors. ‘And how do you feel about that decision?’, he asked.

They seemed surprised at the question. ‘It’s for their safety, so we thought it’s necessary. But they don’t like it and they keep bringing it up. Maybe we are too strict with them. It really does look as though we are restricting them’, Soobin mused quietly. 

‘We don’t want them to feel controlled. If it makes them unhappy, maybe we should be less strict’, Yeonjun supplied. 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘Well, I don’t see anything wrong with your decision’, he said, making the boys look up at him in surprise. ‘If the kids are bound to get into trouble by running errands themselves, then that option has to be limited for their safety. That’s exactly what you did. The decision you made is reasonable and necessary. You shouldn’t doubt yourselves about it, you should be proud of yourselves.’ 

They stared at him wide-eyed. 

‘You don’t think it’s too harsh?’, Soobin questioned. 

‘Not at all. In fact, you are still being quite lenient. You don’t let them run errands on their own but you let them tag along with you. That way they can still do it and gain experience so that someday they can do this on their own, too. You could have simply excluded them from all errands, you know? That would have been much less reasonable, although with regards to their safety it would still have been understandable.’ 

Yoongi took a moment to distribute the barbecued food to their plates, gesturing for them to start eating. ‘You’re making good decisions from what I can tell. And as far as I have seen, you are neither restricting nor controlling them much, either. I’m pretty sure they know that themselves. Don’t let their overreaction from today cloud your judgement, hm?’ 

They looked almost relieved to hear that, Yoongi thought as he watched their shoulders relax a bit.

‘It’s hard’, Soobin murmured. ‘We want to do good for them but most of the time we have no idea what we are doing.’ 

Yoongi nodded in understanding. ‘You are still very young’, he said carefully. ‘Don’t be so hard on yourselves, you are doing a great job. Leading a pack or in your case an intended pack is a big responsibility and even pack leaders with a lot more experience sometimes have to revise their decisions or face discussions with their pack members. That’s normal, it doesn’t mean that you failed or aren’t good at what you’re doing.’ What did it mean though if an established pack suddenly faced issues that made them unable to communicate? Yoongi couldn't help but wonder where he and his mates had gone wrong.

He chose his next words carefully, reflecting on what was currently happening in his own pack. ‘The worst thing you can do is become blind to your pack members’ actual needs. When they struggle, make sure to do whatever you can to help them. Listen to their concerns, hear them out and try to find a solution with them or at least lay down your reasoning for them. If they know why you made a certain decision, they might find it easier to accept it. Communication is important.’ 

Another pause. His mates and him really weren’t following his own advice right now so it felt a bit weird to tell the kids what to do. Then again, Yoongi had tried to make things right and his pack hadn’t been there, even had ignored him when he had been worried for them. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. This was something to dwell on later, for now the kids should take priority.

‘It’s also ok to let go every once in a while, you know?’, he continued quietly, remembering what Jimin had told him about the two eldest kids the night before. ‘Even much older and more experienced pack leaders have timeouts and fun times. You don’t have to be in pack leader mode all the time. When there are no important decisions to make or tasks to handle, you can just be yourselves.’ 

They had stopped eating and were listening intently, soaking up what he was telling them. Yoongi couldn’t help but think that those two would end up being great pack leaders. He had no doubt that they’d lead the pack together even if Soobin might be the one holding the pack leader title. It was rare to see two alphas work together so closely when it came to pack matters. Their dynamic was really quite special. 

‘Don’t push yourselves too hard. Allow yourselves some time to step back. Have fun with the kids. Play with them, laugh with them, cuddle with them. Cry with them. Don’t bottle everything up. Trust me, I’ve been there and that’s not the way to deal with it. Emotions are what make us human after all. Allow yourselves to feel.’ 

They stared at him as if he had just opened the door to a whole new world for them. And maybe he had, he thought. Nobody had probably ever pointed out to them that leading their intended pack didn’t mean that they had to give themselves up. Hopefully they would be able to take something for themselves from what he just told them. It might actually be good if he could monitor them for a little while. 

He gave them a heartfelt smile. ‘And don’t worry about those three kids so much, they’ll come around. They are extremely lucky to have you and I’m pretty sure they know that very well. Just keep doing what you have been doing and don’t worry so much about making mistakes. Everyone does. Our whole life is one giant trial and error after all.’ 

That made them laugh. Finally, Yoongi thought as he joined in. 

‘Now, let’s stop worrying and enjoy our meal, shall we?’, he asked. ‘We also better order some more, this is an all-you-can-eat course after all.’ 

He handed them the menus. 

They were busy browsing through their options when Soobin looked up at him with a smile. 

‘Thank you so much, Yoongi-hyung.’ 

Yoongi smiled and nodded, knowing very well the younger didn’t mean the food.

-----

They continued their meal sticking to lighter topics after that. Somehow, Yoongi’s words seemed to have reached the two younger alphas and at least for now they had managed to forget about their worries regarding the situation with the  younger kids. 

They told Yoongi about their first meeting with Jimin and how they had been both impressed and intimidated by the way he handled the situation back then. Yoongi really couldn’t blame them for that, he had felt something similar the day when he had finally found Jimin again and the beta had gotten mad at him for being so reckless. 

He told them some stories about the band and about producing music. The idol world for some reason seemed to fascinate both of them and they didn’t hesitate to ask questions which Yoongi answered as best as he could. 

Eventually, he decided to inquire about their adventure in Jimin’s tunnels. That story had intrigued him ever since Jimin had mentioned it to him. Soobin groaned at the memory of that. ‘Don’t remind me, hyung’, he pleaded. 

Yeonjun just sighed. ‘It was really stupid. We just thought it would be fun to find Ji’s place and surprise him there. Nobody knows exactly where it is after all. Those tunnels are an absolute maze, though. Once the flashlight burnt out we immediately got lost.’ 

Soobin shuddered. ‘Ji got so mad. I’ve never seen him that mad, not before and not after. He yelled at us about how dangerous it had been for ages. At the river. In the middle of the night. In the cold.’ 

Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle. ‘That seems to be a pattern with him. He yelled at me, too, because of my poor disguise, telling me that I had just put myself in danger again.’ 

Yeonjun grinned. ‘I guess it’s his way of caring. The angrier he gets, the more he cares apparently.’ 

Soobin hummed. ‘He’s been more open recently, though.’ He shot Yoongi a contemplative look. ‘Ji has always been very guarded. Haneul says we are the first people he got a bit closer to in a long time, but he still kept us at a distance. Until recently. I’m not sure what caused that change but it’s nice to see him let his walls down a bit.’ 

Yoongi debated whether he should ask the kids about more information on Jimin. He didn’t want to inquire about him behind his back but if the beta had another breakdown like the other night, he would like to be able to help him more effectively. For that, he would need to know more, though. 

‘Jimin had a small emotional breakdown the other night,’ he began, hesitatingly. 

Yeonjun and Soobin looked at him, slightly alarmed. 

‘Ji?’, Yeonjun asked incredulously. 

Yoongi nodded. ‘I’m not sure what triggered it, but he suddenly spaced out on me and I wasn’t sure how to bring him back.’ 

The kids exchanged a glance. ‘He spaces out a lot when he hangs out with us but I don’t think it has ever been anything emotional. He calls it dissociating from us.’ 

Yoongi suppressed a laugh. That sounded very much like Jimin. ‘So you don’t know what could have triggered it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not prying. I’d just like to know more just in case it happens again. I couldn’t really do anything but hold him and it didn’t feel like it was enough. I also don’t think he would tell me if I asked him, though.’ 

‘He wouldn’t’, Yeonjun confirmed his suspicions. ‘Ji doesn’t talk about his past. At all.’ 

Soobin sighed. ‘Haneul warned us about that back when we decided to stick with him. Ji’s past is probably his best guarded secret. At first we thought he would tell us eventually once we got close enough to him. But he never did and he ignores questions stoically.’ 

Yoongi frowned. ‘So nobody knows anything about him from before he arrived at the river?’ 

They shook their heads. 

‘What about his hyungs?’, he inquired. 

They looked confused. 

‘His hyungs?’, Yeonjun echoed the question, not sure what the elder was getting at. 

Yoongi hummed. ‘The men he is staying with. I haven’t met them yet but he has mentioned that the place is theirs.’ 

He wasn’t sure what exactly he had said that made the two younger alphas stare at him this incredulously.

‘He told you that?’ 

Now confused himself, Yoongi nodded. 

‘What exactly did he say?’, Yeonjun asked, sharing a look with Soobin that Yoongi couldn’t place. 

He frowned, trying to remember. ‘Hmmm. I think he mentioned that the place is his hyungs’ and that they took him in when he first came to the river. He also told me that since a place like theirs was quite rare they had made him promise to never let anyone know where exactly it was and to not ever bring anyone there. I pointed out that he brought me in and he answered that he had no other choice and that he already apologized to his hyungs. He said it was ok, though. I do think he also told me their names once but I really can’t remember them.’ 

‘Hajun and Junseo’, Soobin supplied quietly. Yoongi nodded. That could be the names, they did sound familiar. 

‘Did he tell you anything else about them?’ 

Yoongi thought for a moment. ‘I don’t think so. The second night he let me stay over I asked whether it would be ok with his hyungs but he just said they wouldn’t be there that night.’ He frowned as realization hit him. ‘They weren’t there last night, either.’ 

‘Of course not’, Yeonjun mumbled. He looked at Soobin. ‘I know I said it many before but I really don’t like this.’ 

‘What?’, Yoongi asked, beginning to feel concerned. 

‘Hyung’, Soobin said, a serious look in his eyes. ‘Junseo and Hajun died. Five years ago.’

Yoongi blinked, not sure he had heard that correctly. ‘What?’, he asked, hoping that he somehow had gotten it wrong. Although judging from the looks on the kids’ faces chances for that were pretty low. 

‘Ji’s hyungs’, Yeonjun repeated dutifully. ‘Junseo and Hajun. They died five years ago.’ 

So he had heard correctly. Although he really wished he hadn’t. Jimin had barely ever mentioned his hyungs to him but even then it was obvious how important they were to him.

Yoongi frowned. For some reason, he had gotten the impression that Jimin’s hyungs were still around. Why? With a sigh, he closed his eyes and thought back to the times Jimin had mentioned them, trying to remember as clearly as possible the exact words Jimin had said to him. 

It’s my hyungs’ place. 

They took me in and I have been living there ever since. 

They made me promise to never bring anyone in.

I also already apologized to my hyungs for that, too.

They won’t be there tonight.

How hadn’t he noticed how vague Jimin had been when it came to his hyungs? There had been no indicator at all that someone other than Jimin was living at his place yet Yoongi had never questioned it because of the way the beta spoke about his hyungs. He had always made it sound as though they were still around.

They won’t be there tonight.

He remembered the look on Jimin’s face when he said that. 

They won’t be there tonight. 

At the time, Yoongi hadn’t been able to place the look but now he realized that it must have been grief. It had been such a fleeting moment, Yoongi had only had a second to catch a glimpse of it before it had been replaced with cheerfulness and jokes about the public restroom. 

It had been an act, he realized now. A change of topic, a distraction. Subtle, barely noticeable unless you knew what you were looking for. How often had Jimin done that before for the transition to be so smooth? 

I already apologized to my hyungs for that. 

Yoongi could see why Yeonjun had said that he didn’t like this. This whole time Yoongi had been under the impression that Jimin’s hyungs were alive and simply out somewhere, busy with tasks or business or maybe staying at the community base for some reason. Jimin had made it sound that way. Especially when he told him that he apologized to his hyungs for breaking his promise and bringing someone over. Yes, Yoongi could definitely see why Jimin’s behavior was worrying Yeonjun.

Jimin-ah.

Call me that again.

I missed this so much.

Of course, Yoongi thought with a pang in his heart. He had triggered Jimin’s emotional breakdown with the use of a simple endearment. He would bet his life that Junseo and Hajun had known his real name, that they had used the endearment with him. It must have been so hard to hear Yoongi call him that in the place his hyungs used to call him the same, he thought wistfully. But Jimin seemed to have missed it; seemed to like it, too. He would have to make sure to use the endearment more often, Yoongi decided.

‘Hyung?’ 

Yoongi’s eyes snapped open and he was met with the kids’ concerned stares. 

‘Are you ok?’ 

He nodded, giving them a half smile. ‘I’m sorry. I thought back to the moments Jimin had told me about his hyungs. He never said anything that gave the impression they weren’t alive anymore so this took me by surprise.’ 

Shit, he thought. He even had bought stuff for them, telling Jimin it was for him and his hyungs. The beta had given nothing away even then. 

Yeonjun looked at him. ‘To be honest, I’m quite surprised he mentioned them to you at all. He doesn’t talk about them, like ever.’ 

Yoongi frowned. ‘He mentioned them when I asked him whether he lived alone. Now that I think about it, he did kind of try to avoid the question at first. Or at least buy himself some time by joking about not having signed up to play a game of 20 questions.’ 

He paused for a moment as what he just heard began to sink in. ‘He doesn’t talk to you about them then? Never?’ 

They shook their heads. ‘He doesn’t talk to anyone about them. Whenever they are brought up, he either just changes the topic, ignores it or leaves. There’s kind of like a silent agreement in the community not to bring them up with him’, Soobin said. 

Yeonjun snorted. ‘It’s more like a silent agreement to not talk about them in general. You know that. We never even got Haneul to tell us about them, remember?’ 

Yoongi looked at them. ‘What happened though? Do you know?’ 

Soobin sighed. ‘We don’t know much at all. It happened two years before we even came here. Ji only mentioned Junseo and Hajun to us once, when he told us about the time he came to the river. We didn’t think anything of it at the time.’ 

Yeonjun nodded. ‘It took us a while to realize that we never got to meet those hyungs of his. But when we asked him about them, he just said that he had something to do and left. It happened a few times, I think?’ He turned to Soobin with a questioning look. 

The other dipped his head in agreement. ‘We probably tried to ask him about them three or four times before we realized he was avoiding the topic. That’s when we went to Haneul.’ 

They fell silent for a moment, brows furrowing at the memory. ‘Don’t get me wrong’, Yeonjun eventually said, ‘Haneul is a great person. All the community people are. But they can be so stubborn!’ He sounded annoyed. 

‘Apparently they decided the less we know the better’, Soobin elaborated. ‘When we asked Haneul about Ji’s hyungs, all he said was that they weren’t around anymore and that Ji didn’t like to talk about them. He told us it was best to let the topic rest.’ 

‘The way he phrased it made it sound as though they had just left the community for some reason’, Yeonjun added. ‘He was just as evasive as Ji about it all in the end.’ 

Yoongi frowned. Haneul had seemed like a pretty open and honest person to him. Whatever reasons could he have to keep things from the kids? 

‘You did figure out that they aren’t alive anymore, though’, he pointed out. 

Soobin smirked. ‘I mean, wouldn’t you have wanted to know, too, if you had been in our position? With what Haneul told us it just became more of a mystery, so we were determined to find out.’ 

Yoongi could picture that very well. It probably wasn’t smart to be this vague around a bunch of kids like these, he thought amused. ‘So you played detective?’ 

Yeonjun grinned. ‘What do you think? We went to the other community people first but they were just as or even more evasive than Haneul. A lot of them even openly told us to drop the topic. So eventually we decided to try the vendors.’ 

Yoongi couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. These kids were definitely smart. Briefly he wondered if Haneul or any of the community people had ever considered that the boys would turn to outside sources if they didn’t get any answers from them. He would almost bet that the thought hadn’t crossed their minds. 

‘Good for you’, he said approvingly, making the two boys smile proudly. 

‘The vendors didn’t mind talking about Junseo and Hajun at all’, Soobin offered with a smirk before turning serious. 'Apparently, the two of them used to lead the community together with Haneul. We never even knew there had been more than one community leader in the past.’ 

Yoongi frowned. ‘Wait. But Jimin told me Haneul was one of the leaders. So there must be more than just him?’ 

Yeonjun shook his head. ‘There used to be three. Haneul, Junseo and Hajun. They kind of started the whole community together, some twenty something or so years ago. At least that’s what we heard from one of the older vendors who has been around for a long time. They seemed to have been really close friends. Everyone always refers to Haneul as one of the leaders. We never paid much attention to it before we got to know about Junseo and Hajun. But really it’s just Haneul now. We think they refer to him as one of the leaders as a way to pay respect to Junseo and Hajun. Or something like that.’ 

It would make sense, Yoongi thought. All of this sounded as though Jimin’s hyungs had been an important part of the little community. In a way he could understand that those who had known them tried to protect that memory by shielding it from ‘outsiders’. The less talk there was, the less the truth could be twisted into glorified or simply wrong stories. He still thought the kids should have been told, though. Especially since they had been the ones to get closer to Jimin and Jimin was the one who had been taken in by Junseo and Hajun.

‘So’, he inquired, ‘did you find out what happened?’ 

Soobin sighed. ‘The vendors didn’t know any details. They just knew that they stopped coming suddenly. Haneul made the rounds a few weeks later, saying that he would be the contact person for vendors from now on in case there was any trouble. Apparently before that, it had been Hajun’s task. He told them that there had been an accident and that Junseo and Hajun hadn’t survived.’ 

‘And that’s all they ever got to know. Nobody even knows when exactly it happened because the two had stopped coming for a while before Haneul made his rounds. The only thing we know for certain is that it happened sometime five years ago’, Yeonjun concluded gloomily. 

They all fell silent for a while, lost in thought. 

Yoongi wasn’t sure what to make of this at all. This whole time he had thought that Jimin was living with his hyungs but apparently he had been living in that underground hideout all by himself for five years now, still upholding his promise to Junseo and Hajun about keeping the place a secret. 

He frowned as realization settled in. 

Five years. 

Jimin had been living there on his own since he was 16, then. So damn young to be all by yourself. He must be so lonely, Yoongi thought as he recalled the sparsely furnished underground room and his heart ached for the younger. Sure, Jimin had the kids and the community people but Yoongi couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like to come back to the place that most likely had become what the beta considered his home every day only to find it empty.

It just wasn’t ok, he thought. Jimin seemed to be carrying so much on his shoulders and since such a young age, too. The way he had been able to understand and relate to Yoongi’s struggles made the alpha think that he hadn’t even scratched the surface of what the younger was actually dealing with. And still, despite whatever he was carrying on his shoulders, he was looking after these five kids who quite obviously looked up to him and probably considered him family. And he now was looking out for Yoongi, too. Life really wasn’t fair. Jimin deserved so much better. Yoongi swore to himself that he would come up with a way to help him.

For now though, the kids in front of him should be his priority, he once again reminded himself. They didn’t come here for their alpha timeout to be in such a gloomy mood. Not that he wasn’t glad they had talked about all this. The kids had needed some reassurance that they were doing a great job and Yoongi was pretty sure that they were going to take the advice he had given them seriously. He was also glad that they had talked about Jimin’s situation. This was something that Yoongi had needed to know, it helped him understand Jimin’s breakdown and his situation better. 

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts. This was supposed to be the kids’ time and so far it had gone way too serious. They deserved better, too. Yoongi was determined to make this little alpha timeout memorable for them, despite of or maybe especially since what had just happened earlier with the other three. 

An idea began to form in his head and he smiled, taking in the boys in front of him. They were currently finishing off the rest of their second food order. There was definitely room for more, he decided as he reached for the menus again. 

‘Alright, time to cheer up. No more gloomy talk for today.’ He laughed at their startled expressions. ‘We got all the serious stuff out of the way, no? Didn’t I tell you that it’s ok to let go and just be yourselves when there’s no pressing issues? That’s what we’re going to do for the rest of the day.’ 

Soobin’s head snapped up. ‘The rest of the day?!’, he asked bewildered. 

Yoongi grinned. ‘Yeah. Jimin said you should stay as long as you want. So we’ll take the rest of the day. Serves those kids right, too’, he decided in a playfully vengeful tone, which made the other two exchange an amused glance.  

‘Are you sure, hyung?’, Soobin asked, looking a bit uneasy. ‘You don’t have to, you know?’

‘Not that we don’t want to’, Yeonjun added quickly. ‘It’s just- it’s ok not to, you know? No matter what Ji said. We don’t want to be a burden. It’s not an obligation. We’re already grateful for this lunch time.’

It made Yoongi wonder just what kind of experiences those kids had made that they didn’t deem themselves worthy to spend time with. Had nobody aside from Jimin ever made an effort to get to know them? It was almost as though they thought they weren’t worth his company. Which of course was ridiculous. They were good kids and he genuinely liked them. Why would he not want to spend his afternoon with them?

‘I’m very sure’, he said with a heartfelt smile, making sure to look each of them in the eyes to show he really meant it. ‘I’d love to spend the afternoon with you.’ They seemed to relax a bit at that, seemingly finding something in his eyes that made them believe him.

‘I already have an idea for what we can do next’, he continued. ‘But food first. Ready to order another round?’ This time they were fast to agree, eyes sparkling with barely concealed excitement at the idea of spending more time with the elder alpha. Finally, Yoongi thought. These two kids really deserved to be carefree for once. 

It didn’t take them long to make their selection and place the order. A thought struck Yoongi and he grinned at them. ‘Let’s play a game of 20 questions while we wait for the food to arrive. We need to get to know each other a bit better, after all.’ 

Two heads nodded eagerly. 

He smirked. ‘Ok, here’s my question. Between a zombie apocalypse and giant solar flares, which one would you choose?’ 

They sputtered. 

‘How can you choose between that, hyung?!’ 

‘They are both awful!’ 

Yoongi burst out laughing.

Chapter Text

Jimin waited until the others were completely out of sight before making his way in the opposite direction, still keeping his grip on Beomgyu and Taehyun and dragging them along, leaving Kai with no other choice than to trudge after them. He wasn’t sure where exactly Yoongi was headed with the two elder kids but he wasn’t going to risk running into them during their time off so he decided to take his share of the kids back across the river to put as much distance between them as possible. 

Nobody said a word as they crossed the bridge, walked through the park and made their way downtown. Jimin had half a mind not to treat the three to any food at all but he knew they usually only had one full meal a day and he wouldn’t ever deny them a free second meal, no matter how badly they had just behaved. 

He wouldn’t give them a choice of where to go, though. Spotting a small and not too expensive looking eatery, he dragged them over before finally letting go of Taehyun and Beomgyu. 

‘Get in’, he motioned towards the entrance. 

They stared at him in obvious confusion. 

He sighed, reached around them to open the door and shooed them in, quickly locating a table big enough for four in a rather quiet corner and guiding them over. 

‘Sit’, he told them and once they were settled he handed out menus. ‘Yoongi-hyung is paying for your lunch today, too. Not that you deserve it after how you have just behaved. Choose a meal and a drink, then think about what just happened with Soobin and Yeonjun. I don’t want to hear a word from you until we order. We’ll talk after that.’ 

They glanced at each other, then at Ji and finally at the menus in their hands. He was definitely angry, they could tell that much. They hadn’t experienced angry Ji often before but they knew better than to mess with him when he was upset. Silently, they considered their meal choices. 

Jimin watched them as they cowered over their menus. They probably had no idea how much their words had hurt the two alphas in their group, he mused. Still, this kind of behavior wouldn’t do. Soobin and Yeonjun deserved this extra time with Yoongi and the kids had most likely already ruined it for them with their careless attitude. 

Jimin had never before seen them be this disobedient with their two elders. He wondered what exactly had triggered this. Had they been jealous because the two alphas got to spend alone-time with Yoongi? He wouldn’t put it past them seeing as Yoongi was still very new to their group and they rarely ever met new people who treated them as equals and with respect like the alpha did. Still, Yoongi was nobody’s possession, they couldn’t just act this way. 

Even worse, they couldn’t just disrespect Yeonjun and Soobin like that. Those two literally bent over backwards for their little group. Jimin knew they were hoping to someday form a pack with the kids. Another reason those earlier words must have stung a lot. Maybe it was about time the kids learned about all of that, too. He heaved a sigh. Whatever the reason for this outburst had been, he would just have to get to the bottom of it.

After a waitress took their orders, he turned his attention to the three troublemakers. 

‘So’, he began, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms and looking at them one by one, ‘care to explain what just happened down there at the river?’ 

They exchanged a look but stayed silent. Jimin sighed again. He hadn’t expected this to go easy, anyway. 

‘You got nothing to say for yourselves?’, he asked, raising an eyebrow at them. 

Again they didn’t answer, stealing glances at each other and avoiding to look at him directly. 

‘Suit yourselves, I can wait’, Jimin said, keeping a stern look fixed on the three of them and letting the silence stretch until it became quite uncomfortable. For them at least. Jimin himself didn’t care much about waiting them out like this. He could be patient. 

Eventually, Beomgyu caved. ‘They are hogging Yoongi-hyung all to themselves.’ 

Jimin rolled his eyes at them. ‘It has only been a day since you met him. And it wasn’t even their own idea, they probably would never have asked hyung for anything like that. Yoongi-hyung invited them because he wanted to spend time with them. He took the three of you around the stalls at the terrace yesterday, too, didn’t he? Neither Soobin nor Yeonjun complained then, so why do you think you have a right to complain now?’ 

The looks they shot him at that made it clear that they didn’t agree with him.

‘That’s not the same’, Kai declared. 

Jimin glowered at them. ‘Yes, it is. Just because your time with hyung yesterday was shorter that doesn’t make it any different. Also, who or what gives you the right to decide who Yoongi-hyung gets to hang out with? He is his own person, you don’t own him. Only he gets to decide who he wants to spend time with and who he wants to invite to something.’ 

Apparently he struck a nerve there because they fell silent again after that. He eyed them as they decidedly ignored him, preferring to stare at the table instead. After three years he had learned to read them quite well. There was something more to this, he could feel it. 

Uncrossing his arms, he let one of his hands fall on the table with a slight slapping sound. Their heads snapped back up to him. 

‘Ok, out with it. What’s the real reason behind all this?’ 

Silence. 

It really shouldn’t surprise him, he thought. Those kids could be damn stubborn at times.

‘You’re not going to get away with playing the silent game with me’, he said in a dangerously low voice, glaring at them. ‘Seeing as you apparently aren’t mature enough to speak up for yourselves, let me just help you out by asking you. Tell me, whatever made you think you had the right to be this disrespectful towards Soobin and Yeonjun?’ 

That got a reaction out of them.

Taehyun huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. ‘We weren’t disrespectful to them, we just told them what we think.’ 

Beomgyu nodded. ‘We’re just done listening to them.’ 

‘They always order us around while they get to do all the fun stuff!’, Kai added with an annoyed look on his face. 

Jimin frowned. ‘So you think they’re having it easy?’, he asked incredulously. 

Three heads nodded eagerly. 

‘Of course! They get to make all the decisions, so they can always do what they want.’ 

Jimin wasn’t sure that this was really the core of the matter yet but it was at least something to start with. How those kids had come to the conclusion that Soobin and Yeonjun had it easy was a mystery to him, though. 

He lowered his gaze at them. 

‘They get to do what they want?’, he asked in disbelief. ‘Do you think they want to run extra errands every day so none of you have to go by yourselves and possibly get into dangerous situations?’ 

They looked at him, startled and unsure what he was trying to tell them. 

‘Do you think they want to worry about all of you having enough to eat every day? Do you think they want to say no to you every time you make an unreasonable request that all of you simply can’t afford or that would put you in danger? Do you think they want to take turns at night staying up and keeping watch in case there’s a threat just so that the three of you can sleep through the night peacefully? Do you think they want to worry about how to make ends meet whenever there are extra costs popping up? Do you think they want to worry about you being found by authorities and taken away? Do you think they want to act and behave like adults when they are still just kids themselves?’ 

He had been staring at them intently while firing his questions at them, watching their eyes grew wider and wider as they realized just what exactly he was talking about. 

‘Do you really believe all that?’, he repeated. 

They stared at the table in silence. 

‘Look at me’, he ordered and they reluctantly looked up at him. 

‘Do you have any idea how lucky the three of you are to have Soobin and Yeonjun? They were the ones who came up with the plan of getting you away from that place and they have been keeping you safe ever since. Without them, you wouldn’t be here today. They were only kids, just about as old as you are today when they decided to take on the responsibility of taking care of three even younger kids in order to keep them safe. They could have just run away on their own, they weren’t obliged to do anything for you. Yet they did, even though that meant that their own chances of survival would be lower. Even though that meant that the moment they decided to take care of you they themselves had to stop being kids.’ 

By now, tears were glistening in the three youngers’ eyes but Jimin wasn’t about to just let them off the hook like this. If this was truly what they thought, they needed to be set straight.

‘Yeonjun and Soobin are the reason you are growing up like this now, the reason you can act your age and don’t have to worry about anything. Those two gave up their own childhoods for you. They are always fair and try to meet as many of your wishes as possible. In all the years that I have known you, I have not once heard them complain and I have not once seen them put themselves first. Do you have any idea at all just how much they sacrificed for you?’ 

In a way, it was a rhetorical question. They knew, Jimin thought to himself. They simply had to know. There was no way they couldn’t have noticed just how much the other two were doing for them. It had been years after all. 

The tears were running freely now and Jimin almost felt bad for the kids but then he reminded himself of the pained looks on the two elders' faces and decided that whatever the real reason behind all of this was, these three had definitely deserved his little speech. He waited for them to calm down a bit, silently praying for their food to take just a little longer to arrive. It seemed like he was finally getting somewhere. 

‘We know’, Beomgyu finally whispered. ‘Of course we know.’

Jimin nodded. It would have been really concerning if they hadn’t been aware of all this. ‘So what was that scene at the river all about then?’ 

Kai wiped his eyes. ‘What if they don’t want to do this?’, he asked with a shaky voice, making Jimin frown. He wasn’t sure he could follow that trail of thought. ‘What do you mean?’ 

There was a moment of silence but this time it didn’t feel loaded. They seemed to be trying to figure out how to explain themselves, so Jimin decided to let them be. 

A waitress arrived with their food, casting a quick glance at the kids’ tear-stained faces. Jimin gave her an apologetic smile, indicating that everything was alright with a small hand gesture. 

‘Let’s eat’, Jimin said with a sigh. ‘We can continue this talk later.’ 

To his surprise, Beomgyu spoke up, though. 

‘They always seem kind of – I don’t know-‘, he glanced at the other two. 

‘Sad’, Taehyun supplied at the same time as Kai said ‘Tired.’ Beomgyu nodded. ‘That. And distant.’ 

Jimin waited. 

The two alphas had always been a bit more reserved but he never had gotten the impression that they were sad. Tired, yes, probably. At least sometimes. They did take on a lot of responsibility after all. But sad? He didn’t think so. On the contrary, Jimin had seen the proud looks on their faces when regarding their intended pack from time to time. If anything, they seemed to be at the very least content to him. 

‘They always worry’, Taehyun added glumly. 

‘And they never really let go and join in when we joke around’, Kai contributed. 

They fell silent again, turning their attention to their food. 

Whatever it was they had to say apparently wasn’t easy, Jimin mused. It would probably be best to let them go at their own pace. 

For a while, they continued eating in silence. They were about halfway through their meal when Taehyun sighed. ‘What if-‘, his voice cracked dangerously. ‘What if they regret it?’ 

Jimin looked up sharply, taking in their expressions. All three of them were pale and looked close to tears again. His eyes widened as he realized what they were talking about. How had they even come to this conclusion? 

‘You think they regret their decision to take care of you?’, he asked, feeling the need to clarify. 

They nodded miserably. 

Jimin frowned. ‘And why would you think that?’ He really wondered what had made them come to such a ridiculous conclusion. 

‘Back then they probably didn’t know what it would mean for them. Bringing us along, taking care of us. But they had to give up so much. How can they not regret it?’, Beomgyu asked, toying with his food. 

Kai sighed. ‘We don’t want to be a burden to them.’ 

‘They had no obligation to help us back then, but maybe they feel obligated now?’, Taehyun whispered. 

And somehow suddenly it all made sense, Jimin thought. He stared at the three kids who looked so dejected right now, wondering how neither he nor Soobin and Yeonjun had noticed their inner struggles. They would have to pay closer attention from now on, he thought grimly. Those three had become pretty good at keeping their worries hidden. 

‘Let me see if I can get this straight’, he began carefully. ‘So you think that Soobin and Yeonjun are tired of having to take care of you and that they regret their decision of bringing you along back then because it entails a lot more sacrifices than they initially thought?` 

Once again they nodded, eyes downcast. 

‘And you were acting the way you did at the river because-?’ He thought he knew but he would prefer to hear it from them. 

There was a moment of silence before Beomgyu sighed heavily. ‘We thought that maybe-‘, he stocked. ‘If they regret it but feel obligated to us, they wouldn’t just leave even if they wanted to, right?’ 

‘They are way too nice to do something like that’, Taehyun added. ‘We talked about it a lot and we thought maybe we could make it easier for them to leave if we pretended not to care. We just needed the right opportunity to do so.’ 

Jimin closed his eyes briefly. It was just as he had thought, then. What a mess, he thought to himself, not sure whether he should be upset, amused or feel sorry for the kids. He looked around the table. 

‘So what you said to them back at the community – you didn’t actually mean it?’ 

‘Of course not!’, Kai exclaimed, looking indignant. 

‘Well, maybe the part about wanting to come along was true’, Taehyun mused. ‘We really wanted that.’ 

Beomgyu dipped his head in agreement. ‘But we didn’t mean what we said about not wanting to listen to them. Or them being unfair. Or any of the other things we said about them. We just thought that maybe if we didn’t care, they wouldn’t feel obligated to us anymore and feel free to leave. Especially now that they have an alpha hyung who could take care of them.’ 

They fell silent again and Jimin decided that he did feel sorry for them after all. Just how long had they been wondering whether they were just a burden or actually wanted? Taking in their forlorn expressions as they continued eating, his heart went out to them. Maybe they had been brats before but it had been under misguided good intentions. It was time to put some things into perspective for them.

‘You’ve got it all wrong’, he said softly. ‘They don’t regret having you around one bit.’ 

Their heads snapped up to him in disbelief. 

He gave them a small smile. ‘Soobin and Yeonjun would never leave you behind willingly. Yes, they gave up a lot for you but they don’t regret any of it. Do you know why?’ 

He watched as they exchanged glances before slowly shaking their heads. 

‘They don’t regret it because they have you.’ 

Their eyes widened at that. 

‘How can you be sure of that?’, Beomgyu whispered. 

‘Because I know what their intentions are.’ 

They looked at him questioningly. Jimin hesitated for a split second but then decided that the kids needed to know so that their worries about being unwanted could be erased once and for all. 

‘It really isn’t my place to tell you. I’m sure Soobin and Yeonjun have their own plans of telling you once you are a bit older. But I think you need to know so you can understand just how important you actually are to them.’ 

He smiled at them. ‘They are planning on forming a pack with you in the future. If you want them, of course. They already consider you their pack now, actually. They’d never leave any of you behind.’

Whatever it was that they had expected to hear, it definitely hadn’t been this, Jimin thought amusedly as he watched their expressions run through confusion, disbelief and wonder before finally settling on something close to awe.

‘They what?’, Taehyun whispered, not sure he heard right. 

‘A pack? With us?’, Kai asked wide-eyed. 

‘Of course we want them’, Beomgyu murmured. ‘We always did.’ 

Jimin nodded. ‘I know. And they want you. There’s no reason for you to feel unwanted, ok? They don’t regret having you around at all.’

Huge smiles formed on their faces as the words they just heard finally settled in. The alphas did want them around after all. So much so that they wanted to form a pack with them in the future. They couldn’t have been more wrong about the whole situation. 

Kai gasped. ‘Oh no! We’ve been awful to them! They must think we don’t like them anymore now.’ 

Jimin nodded. ‘You definitely were awful. I was seriously angry with you for a while. And your words hurt the two of them a lot. You would have seen it on their faces if you hadn’t been so determined to not look at them at all.’ 

He watched them exchange glances, regret evident in their eyes and sighed. ‘You had good intentions at least. But the way you went about it was wrong. If you ever have any doubts like this again, you need to talk to them directly. That goes for any worries you might have. Avoid misunderstandings like this, they only end up bringing unnecessary pain. That’s how packs work, too, anyway - communication is key.’ 

Or so he thought at least. It wasn’t like Jimin had any experience with packs at all and Yoongi’s pack definitely didn’t work that way apparently but still – it’s what Jimin expected a pack to be like. He cast a look around the table. 

‘Now I suggest we finish this meal and you think about a way to make amends to them later on, ok? Other than an apology. Which of course you will have to give them as well. But I’m sure you can come up with something else you can do for them that will make them happy, right?’ 

They nodded vigorously before turning their attention back to their food, the discussion slowly turning to a lighter mood as they began to come up with numerous ideas on how to make things right with their alphas.

-----

Yoongi wasn’t surprised that they had ended up ordering another four rounds of food before finally deciding that they had enough. BBQ restaurants were tempting like that, especially the all-you-can-eat courses. At least they had gotten their money’s worth of food and the two kids had finally gotten a good meal, he thought with satisfaction. 

They had kept up their game of 20 questions throughout the meal, alternating between more personal and playful questions. Slowly, Yeonjun and Soobin had loosened up more, forgetting about their worries about the three younger kids, their reservations about the restaurant being too expensive and their shyness around the older alpha. By the time they had left the restaurant, they were cheerfully joking with Yoongi, eyes sparkling with joy. 

Yoongi was quite proud of himself for having achieved that. Finally they were behaving like kids their age. Hopefully they could hold on to that feeling from now on and learn to let go every once in a while. There really was no need for them to be all serious and matter of fact at all times. They deserved to act their age just as much as the other three kids. 

Currently, they were browsing through an electronics store. The two of them had thrown him a questioning look when he had led them there but he had just played it off and asked them to humor him. 

He braced himself, knowing that this wasn’t going to go down without discussion but he had decided earlier that it was something that needed to be done. If not for them, then at least for him. It had only been a few days but he had already become extremely fond of Jimin and now these kids were rapidly growing on him, too. 

Weaving his way through the aisles, he made his way over to the smartphone section. 

‘Hyung?’, Soobin asked hesitantly. ‘Why are we here?’ 

Yoongi turned around to face them, smiling. 

‘We’re going to get you a phone. Jimin, too.’ 

He watched them exchange a wide-eyed look before they vigorously shook their heads. 

‘Hyung, we are sorry but no’, Yeonjun said quietly. 

‘That’s not something we need or can accept’, Soobin added. ‘And trust us, Ji would tell you exactly the same thing.’ 

It was just what he had expected to happen. Of course they wouldn’t want to accept anything this expensive. Luckily he had prepared himself for this. 

‘I’m sorry but you won’t get out of this one. Maybe it’s selfish of me but I want you and Jimin to have phones so I can reach you when I can’t find you or am too busy to come see you. So I can assure you are ok. Call it a hyung thing if you want. I know you have your routines and everything and see each other every day but when my work gets busy again, I might not be able to be around as much and this will put my mind at ease.’ 

He paused for a moment, sorting his arguments before continuing. ‘It goes the other way round as well. I also want you to be able to reach me whenever you need to. No matter where I am. If there is an emergency, I want to know that you have an option to contact me and this would be the easiest way.'

They still didn’t look very convinced at that. Maybe it was time to bring out the big guns then. 

‘And lastly’, he looked at them intensely, ‘I want you to be able to reach Jimin when he is at his place.’ 

As expected, that one got their attention. 

‘I know you can find him easily when you have to, he complained to me about that more than once and I have witnessed it with my own eyes after all.’ 

They grinned at that. 

‘But after what you just told me about him today, I don’t feel ok with him being all alone at his place all the time without anyone knowing where exactly it even is. And before you as, no, I don’t know either, even though I’ve been in and out a few times by now.’ 

It was the truth, too. Those sewers were a maze. Just the thought of Jimin being in there by himself without anyone knowing how to get to him made him worry internally already. What if he fell ill? What if he had another breakdown and needed someone to support him? 

Yoongi had been kind of ok with the idea of Jimin living there with his hyungs because it meant someone would be around to take care of him in case of emergencies. But now that he knew that he had no one something had to be done about this situation. 

‘He is living there all by himself and nobody knows how to get to him in case something happens. We need a way to contact him there, especially you, because you will probably be the ones to notice first if anything were to be wrong.’ 

He paused yet again. Yeonjun and Soobin looked less determined to refuse now, understanding dawning on their faces. 

‘Besides’, Yoongi added for good measure, ‘imagine how lonely it must be for him. He used to live there with his hyungs and now he returns to an empty place that is bound to remind him of them every night. It can’t be easy. With a phone, he could talk to you or even me if he felt too lonely. Or maybe watch some videos or browse the internet or whatever else to keep himself occupied.’ 

They were silent when he finished. He knew his arguments were strong, he just hoped they would end up being enough. If they really didn’t want to accept his offer, he wouldn’t push any further. But he would feel so much more at ease if he knew they had phones to keep in touch with each other and with him.

Yoongi watched as some sort of silent communication passed between the two younger alphas. Once again he was impressed by how tuned in with each other they were. 

With a sigh, Soobin turned back to him. ‘Hyung’, he said warily, ‘how are we even supposed to charge them?’ 

Yoongi smirked. That was a weak argument in his eyes. ‘I’m sure you would find a way but I can already give you some ideas if you want. For starters, we’ll just get at least two external chargers for each phone which you can keep with you in case you need to charge on the go or while staying at one of your places. As for where to charge those or the phones themselves – I’m sure you are very much aware that there are at least two outlets at that public restroom of yours.’ 

He grinned as their eyes widened at their argument being dismantled so quickly. 

‘Then I venture to guess that some of the vendors you work with wouldn’t mind letting you charge every once in a while. You could always make up for it with a small errand, right? Or maybe you could go to a public place like a library. They do have a lot of power outlets there that you could use without being charged.’

Yeonjun sighed in defeat. ‘You really have this all thought out already, right, Yoongi-hyung?’ 

He smirked. ‘Obviously. I prefer to come to my battles prepared after all.’ 

It made them crack a smile. At least Yoongi had known they wouldn’t just accept this so easily. 

Soobin had to hand it to him, though. He had made some very valid points. Yoongi-hyung wasn’t like them after all. He had a job that would keep him very busy and they probably wouldn’t see much of him once BTS had their next comeback. It would be nice to stay in touch with him, though. Today had been eye-opening for Yeonjun and him. They hadn’t thought they could allow themselves to let go and just be carefree, not when being responsible for the three younger ones. 

But Yoongi-hyung had told them that it was ok to let loose when there were no important decisions to make and he had been so nice and understanding about what they were struggling with. Soobin would love to speak to him every now and then when things got tough, maybe ask his advice when he wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing. He knew Yeonjun felt the same. 

And the point he had made about Ji’s place weighed on Soobin’s mind, too. He and Yeonjun had discussed this several times in the past, wondering what they would do if Ji ever got stuck at his place for whatever reason. They had resigned themselves to having to organize search parties and looking for the place methodically if it ever came to this. Having phones to stay in touch with Ji would definitely make a difference there. 

There was just one tiny little problem. Their community operated on a certain set of standards and rules and accepting something as expensive as a phone (let alone two if they counted Ji's as well) would most definitely go against those. It had been one of the first things Ji had taught them about when they came to the riverside and he had always been very adamant about upholding those rules. Even though everyone knew that even Haneul bent them from time to time if it was for the benefit of the community members.

Soobin understood where Ji was coming from, though and he knew it was the same for Yeonjun. Considering their everyday life the rules made sense to all of them, even the kids never had any trouble accepting them. But in this case, maybe an exception could be made? They really trusted Yoongi, even though they barely knew the alpha yet. And having a phone to keep in touch with him and to check up on Ji at this place would actually put all of their minds at ease. Soobin couldn't explain it but somehow it just felt right. Maybe just this once it would be ok to accept an offer like this? He looked at Yeonjun, receiving an almost inconceivable nod at his unasked question. They had perfected this way of communication over the years. It was something that came in handy with three quite hyperactive kids to take care of. 

With an almost inaudible sigh, Soobin made up his mind and turned to Yoongi. 

‘Hyung, are you really sure? It’s so expensive.’ 

Yoongi smiled. ‘I’m really, really sure. I know I am asking a lot by pushing this on you but I can afford it and I think all of us would be more at ease if we knew we could contact each other when needed. Or am I wrong?’ 

Yeonjun shook his head. ‘It would be nice’, he said quietly and Soobin nodded in agreement. 

Yoongi beamed at them. ‘Well then, let’s take a look around and find a good one for you. Maybe a model with extra-long standby time would be good? Or are there any other features you would like to have?’ 

Soobin rolled his eyes at him. ‘Hyung, we know nothing about mobile phones. You’ll probably even have to teach us how to make a call.’ 

Yoongi laughed. ‘I can do that. Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it fast. Now let’s choose a model and whatever else we might need. We still have to set everything up after all.’ 

-----

Jimin watched as the kids browsed what felt like the hundredth store. It hadn’t taken them long to decide what to do to make amends to Soobin and Yeonjun. When Jimin had told them that Yoongi had given him enough money to cover for dessert, too, their eyes had lit up and they had exchanged a look. 

‘No dessert!’, Kai had said decisively. ‘Let’s go and buy something for the hyungs instead.’ 

They had looked at Jimin expectantly. In a way it was Yoongi’s money, he had thought. But the elder had given it to him so they would spend it and he knew he wouldn’t mind if the kids used it to make amends to Soobin and Yeonjun instead of getting dessert. Them not getting dessert already was a big thing. They rarely ever got the chance to have some and Jimin knew they often craved special treats like ice cream or cake. Deciding to forgo that in order to get something for Yeonjun and Soobin was a big deal for them. The two alphas would understand the gesture very well, Jimin was sure of that. 

So he had smiled and nodded. ‘That’s a great idea.’ 

They had cheered at that and then proceeded to finish their meals in record time, eager to go out and look for the perfect gift. 

And that’s how they had ended up in the current shop, a little thrift store tugged away in the corner of a small alley. At first the kids had browsed quite a few of the bigger stores but quickly realized that a lot of the items were either too expensive or, as Beomgyu called it, ‘too mainstream’. 

Amused, Jimin had asked what exactly that was supposed to mean and Beomgyu had explained that they were looking for something special, something that not everyone had. It had made Jimin think of the thrift store. He sometimes ran errands for the store owner, a very friendly elderly lady. She had a good selection of items, both very common and unique ones. When he told the kids about it, they had been eager to go. 

Now they were browsing the aisles, contemplating different items. They really were taking their mission seriously, Jimin thought with a smile. 

He made his way over to the store owner, who was watching on with an amused expression on her face. 

‘What are they looking for?’, she asked, voice low so that the kids wouldn’t hear them. 

Jimin shrugged his shoulders. ‘Apology gift for their two hyungs. They kind of messed up with them today.’ 

She raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Badly?’ 

He grinned fondly. ‘Thought they were just a burden so they told them they didn’t need them to make it easy for their hyungs to drop them and walk away. Sucks for them because the hyungs already see them as their future pack anyway.’ 

The store owner chuckled. ‘Oh, to be that young and innocent again’, she mused wistfully. ‘So they are looking for something special then?’ 

Jimin nodded. ‘They don’t have a lot, though. If whatever they choose can’t be covered fully, let me make it up with some errands?’ 

She gave him a thoughtful look. ‘You’re a good person, you know? It’s fine, this one’s for the cause. Whatever they have will be enough to cover what they choose.’ 

He smiled, dipping his head in thanks. 

‘In fact’, the store owner mused, ‘I might have exactly what they are looking for.’ 

She made her way behind the counter and rummaged through a shelf for a while before placing a box on the counter and opening it, turning it around for Jimin to see. He stepped closer to take a better look. 

It was stone bracelets, he realized. Shiny black stone pearls made up the majority of the bracelets, only interrupted by three grey stones, one x-shaped one being encased by two cross-shaped ones. He gave her a questioning look. 

‘Those look expensive.’ 

She shook her head. ‘I’ve had these stored away for years. It’s not something people are usually looking for nowadays and I always was hoping to sell all of them together.’ A smile formed on her face. ‘There’s five of them. I’d take that as a sign.’ 

Jimin gave her a long, searching look. He wasn’t stupid. These bracelets weren’t in their budget at all. Even if she downplayed it, he knew that these weren’t just cheap plastic bracelets. 

‘Are you sure?’ 

She nodded, smiling. ‘I’d rather they go to people who really appreciate them. Something tells me those kids of yours will.’ 

He flinched at her choice of words and she laughed. 

‘Call them over, will you?’ 

With a small sigh, he complied. He already knew the kids would love these. 

‘Come and take a look at this’, he called out to the three of them who were currently discussing the pros and cons of some snapbacks. They turned to him in surprise and immediately spotted the open box on the counter. 

He watched as curiosity settled in and they made their way over to take a closer look. They gasped at the sight of the bracelets. 

‘They are so pretty’, Taehyun breathed, eyes glued to the content of the box. 

The store owner smiled. ‘You can try them on if you like.’ 

Jimin didn’t think he had ever seen them being so careful with something before. They reached for the bracelets gingerly, turning them around in their hands to inspect them before carefully sliding them on. Even Jimin had to admit that those bracelets looked like they had been made for the kids. 

He exchanged a glance with the store owner who gave him a triumphant smile. 

‘Do you like them?’, she asked the kids and they nodded, eyes bright. Then realization seemed to settle in and Jimin watched the smiles slip off their faces. Slowly they took the bracelets off again, putting them back into the box. 

‘They are beautiful’, Beomgyu said, casting a longing look at the box. ‘But we can’t afford them.’ 

The elderly woman smiled. ‘They cost exactly as much as you can give for them.’ 

They stared at her, unsure if they had heard that correctly. 

‘What do you say? Do you want them?’ 

Of course they wanted them, Jimin thought, that much was obvious. They had turned to look at him for guidance and he gave them an approving smile, nodding his head. 

‘Is it really ok?’, Kai asked in disbelief. 

She nodded again, giving them another warm smile. ‘I think they were meant to belong to you.’ 

Jimin watched as they broke into huge smiles, eyes sparkling with excitement. 

‘We would love to take them’, Beomgyu said.

-----

Choosing a phone model had been quite easy. The kids had left the choice to Yoongi, only asking him to not choose something too expensive. He had honored that request and chosen a model in the lower price category which still had all the important features and very good standby time. 

While the store assistant was busy getting the devices hooked up to Yoongi’s unlimited data plan they had proceeded to find external chargers and protective phone cases. Seeing as their lifestyle wasn’t at all sheltered, he had opted for cases that were both shock- and waterproof to a certain extent. It had taken a while until everything was settled and Yoongi had been wise enough to send Soobin and Yeonjun to go look around the store for a while before paying, knowing that seeing the amount their purchases came up to would have unsettled them. 

When he was finally done, he found them in the music department of the store, giddily looking at some BTS displays. 

‘Hyung, look!’, Soobin grinned, pointing at a standalone of him. ‘We found you!’ 

Yoongi groaned good-naturedly. He wasn’t a fan of that particular display, especially not the mint hair color. His mates and the fans had loved it but he himself had felt a bit out of place with it. 

‘Is it weird to see yourself everywhere like that?’, Yeonjun questioned, genuinely intrigued. Yoongi nodded, motioning for them to follow him as he made his way out of the store. 

‘It took some time getting used to’, he admitted. ‘Nowadays I rarely ever notice it anymore but in the beginning it was definitely strange to see myself or my mates everywhere.’ 

They grinned. ‘We prefer the real you over any pictures or displays, though, hyung’, Soobin said quietly and Yoongi turned his head to look at him. ‘We’re really glad we got to meet you, you know?’ 

The small display of affection warmed Yoongi’s heart. Those kids had grown on him so fast. Smiling, he gave them both a quick side hug, leaving them startled. 

‘I’m glad I got to meet you, too’, he said gently and then switched to a more cheerful tone. ‘Now let’s go find a nice place where we can charge the phones and batteries and get things set up.’

They ended up at a place called Sky Farm, a greenhouse style observatory at the 51rst floor of an office building in Gangnam. Yoongi had been here before with his mates and thought the kids would like it. He had been right about that, too. They were in awe as they stepped out of the elevator, taking in the greenery all around them. There were plants and flowers everywhere. Scattered throughout the area were wooden tables and chairs, matching well with the whole natural atmosphere. 

What impressed the kids most was the view, though. It didn’t take them long to step over to the huge windowpanes spanning one side of the room, taking in the sight of the city from that high up for the very first time. Yoongi let them be for a while, finding a table in a corner with some power outlets nearby and setting up their newly purchased devices to charge. He then went over and pointed out some of the most important city sights to them before daring them to find their part of the river. 

They took up the challenge immediately and finally pinpointed the area by recognizing the nearby riverside park. He praised them for being so assertive, which earned him two proud, beaming smiles. 

Eventually, they made their way over to the table, Yoongi ordering some drinks and two servings of cheesecake for the boys before helping them set up the phones. He decided to set up Jimin’s device while the kids could simultaneously set up their own by following what he was doing. It was the best way for them to get used to the controls of a smartphone fast in his opinion. 

Seeing them huddled together over the electronic device with obvious excitement, he felt a slight pang. It pained Yoongi to know that these kids had gone all their lives without something as basic as a phone, a commodity that was so basic to most people nowadays. Sure, they might not have missed it but it was just another factor that showed him just how privileged the life he and his mates were living was. 

-----

The kids were delighted with the bracelets. They had put their own ones on immediately after purchasing them, thanking the store owner over and over again until she laughed and shooed them away. The box with the remaining two bracelets had been tucked away safely in Jimin’s backpack before Jimin sent the kids outside to wait for him. As soon as they left the store, he turned to the owner, bowing deeply. 

‘Thank you so much’, he said. ‘This was exactly what they were looking for. I will make sure to make this up to you. If you ever need anything at all, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll let Haneul know to include you in his regular inquiry rounds, too.’ 

She shook her head and smiled at him fondly. ‘There’s no need for that. You’re already helping me out enough as it is. Don't think I haven't forgotten you helping me out with last year's inventory for free. Besides, I’m glad I finally found the right owners for those bracelets. Just keep checking in every now and then like you do now. It’s always a pleasure to have you around, Ji.’ 

He smiled and ducked his head. ‘I most definitely will. Again, thank you so much for everything.’

The kids were standing on the sidewalk, inspecting the bracelets on their wrists with shining eyes when Jimin stepped out of the thrift store. 

‘Ji!’, Kai squealed, giving him a quick hug that Jimin was too slow to fight off, beaming at him happily. ‘They are just perfect! Look!’ He held out his wrist for Jimin to inspect, which the beta did thoroughly, a smile playing on his lips. The bracelets really suited them. And they were the perfect gift to make amends, too. Something that all five of them could wear, that showed that they belonged together. Jimin was pretty sure this would erase any doubts about the kids wanting to stay with them that Yeonjun and Soobin might currently have. 

‘They are amazing’, he agreed. ‘Soobin and Yeonjun will love them.’ 

‘Can we go wait for them at the river?’, Taehyun asked excitedly. 

‘It might still be a while until they come back, you know?’, Jimin reminded them. ‘I told them to stay out longer, as long as they like and it’s still early in the afternoon. And after what happened at the river earlier, I’m pretty sure Yoongi-hyung won’t just let them return right after lunch. Don’t expect them to be back anytime soon.’ 

They looked a bit disappointed at the prospect of having to wait but didn’t complain. 

‘It’s ok’, Beomgyu decided. ‘They deserve to have some time off, too. They worry too much all the time.’ 

‘Yeah, I hope they have fun’, Kai added and Taehyun nodded determinedly. ‘Yoongi-hyung better spoil them.’ 

Jimin couldn’t help it, he laughed. Those were such different words from earlier today at the river. The kids must have really felt like a burden to their two elders if they had acted up this badly. 

He contemplated for a moment. Of course they could go back to the river and just wait for the alphas to return, but the three had done well. Maybe they deserved to have a bit of fun today, too. He still had a little extra from his errands because Yoongi had been treating him to a lot lately. Not to mention all the stuff the elder had left at his place the other day. For once, Jimin felt quite comfortable with his assets. He supposed he could share some of that with the kids. 

Smiling, he looked at them. ‘You did really well’, he praised. ‘Just remember to apologize properly later on and you’re all good.’ 

Beaming at the praise, they nodded enthusiastically, ensuring him they wouldn’t forget about that. 

‘Now, don’t get me wrong, we’re still on a very tight budget here, but how about we make a quick stop at the arcade on our way back and play a game or two? And maybe we can get some ice cream after that, too.’ 

They squealed in delight before engulfing him in a group hug. This time, he hugged them back.

-----

It took them quite a while to set everything up. Yoongi ensured that both phones held his contact as well as the respective other’s and taught the kids the basic controls such as messaging and calling before moving on to the fun stuff like games, the phone camera and YouTube, telling them that they could watch videos without having to worry about data. It brought excited smiles to their faces and Yoongi suspected that a lot of videos would be watched in the near future.

When everything was finally set up and Soobin and Yeonjun had taken what felt like a ton of photos of the place and the view to Yoongi it was already late afternoon, so they decided to make their way back towards the river. Which ended up taking a lot longer than expected because the boys continued trying out their phone camera on the way, taking pictures of each other, Yoongi and their surroundings and giggling at some of the more ridiculous results. Yoongi couldn't find it in himself to make them stop just to hurry them along. They were finally acting like kids their age and he would never take that away from them.

At some point he decided to take out Jimin’s phone and snap a picture of the two kids with their heads bent over the screen, laughing at a weird shot Yeonjun had  just taken of Soobin. They looked so carefree and relaxed in that moment, something Yoongi was quite sure Jimin would like to see. 

Everything was just fine until they were nearing the river. Suddenly it was as though a switch had been flipped and the mood dropped. The two of them sobered up, their earlier light mood seemingly forgotten. Soobin carefully put the phone into their backpack and almost as if on instinct moved closer to Yeonjun.

Yoongi looked at them and sighed. ‘What’s wrong?’, he asked, quite sure he already knew. They shrugged their shoulders but didn’t answer. ‘I can’t help you if you don’t tell me, you know?’, he reminded them. 

Soobin sighed deeply. ‘It’s just- What if they aren’t there?’ 

Yoongi suppressed a snort and shook his head. ‘They will be there. You are the best thing that could have happened to them and I’m very sure they are very much aware of that. They wouldn’t just leave you like that.’ He sighed again when he saw their skeptical expressions. ‘Remember what I told you before? Things like this happen, it’s normal to clash. Don’t forget that Jimin was with them, too. He wouldn't just let them disappear on you. And he probably has given them a good talking to about this whole issue as well. Everything will be alright, trust me.’ 

They nodded reluctantly, still looking doubtful and Yoongi’s heart went out to them. He really hoped Jimin had talked some sense into those kids. They couldn’t go around hurting others like this, it simply wasn't ok.

‘Come on’, he declared, picking up the pace and motioning for them to follow him. ‘If you’re that worried, we better hurry up and find them so you can see that my genius mind is correct.’ 

It drew a small smile from them. Better than nothing, Yoongi thought to himself as he determinedly led the way to the riverside park.

Chapter Text

Jimin watched the kids play cards fondly. They had made their way back to the river a little while ago, the three claiming that the best spot to settle and wait would be at the park because the alphas were bound to look for them there first. Jimin wasn’t sure where that conclusion came from but seeing as they always seemed to find him without any trouble he decided to just trust them on that. 

Their little trip to the arcade had ended up with Kai being the overall winner, much to his delight. Now he was determined to win at their card game, too. 

Good luck with that, Jimin thought bemused. It didn’t look like Taehyun was going to let him have this one, judging by the way he had already slid a card up his sleeve when only Jimin was paying attention to him. They had stared at each other for a moment in silent understanding, Taehyun raised an eyebrow in question and Jimin simply winked at him with a sly grin. This would stay their little secret for now. It was just too much fun to watch the others struggle against the beta while being none the wiser. 

Finally finishing his ice cream, Jimin gathered up the kids’ empty cups as well before making his way over to the trash can and depositing them inside. Turning back around, he saw the alphas approaching them from a distance. 

Even from afar Jimin could tell that Yeonjun and Soobin were nervous. He really hoped that they had been able to  have at least a bit of fun today, despite everything that had happened earlier with the younger ones. They deserved it so much.

Making his way back over to the kids, he reached for his backpack and took out the box with the two remaining bracelets, silently putting it between them, on top of the cards. They gave him a questioning look and he smiled, motioning towards the alphas who by now had almost reached them. They swiveled their heads around so fast that Jimin thought they might get whiplash. Smiles formed on their faces as they dropped the cards and scrambled up. Taehyun quickly reached for the box and then they were off. 

Jimin smiled as he followed behind slowly.

-----

Soobin had said the others would probably be waiting for them at the park. How he had deducted that was beyond Yoongi but he wasn’t about to question it, either. After all, these kids always seemed to find Jimin without fail so it would be best to just trust them on this. 

A trust well placed as it turned out because they spotted the group soon after entering the park, sitting under a tree, and playing cards. Jimin noticed them first when he turned around from throwing out some trash. Yoongi watched as the beta made his way back to the group and pulled something from his backpack before handing it to the younger kids. He felt Yeonjun and Soobin stiffen beside him when the kids suddenly turned around to stare at them before quickly scrambling up. Realizing that they were headed their way, he quickly stepped back a little, making eye contact with Jimin, who was smiling.  A relieved sigh escaped his lips. Things would be ok. 

-----

Yeonjun and Soobin weren’t sure what to expect at all. Sure, Yoongi had said it would be alright and they really wanted to believe him but it wasn’t that easy. The younger ones had never spoken to them like that before. Disagreements happened every once in a while but they usually understood the reasons behind decisions and they never had gotten angry like this. They had never said they didn’t need them. 

Out of all the things the kids had said that one hurt the most, Soobin thought. Neither he nor Yeonjun were sure just where exactly they were standing with those three right now. Yoongi had made it possible for them to forget about what happened for a little while but now that they were about to meet up with them again, worry began to resurface fast. 

What if they had actually meant it? What if they really didn’t want to stick around anymore? Could they even blame them? They never meant to make them feel controlled or restricted, they just had wanted to keep them safe. But what good did that even do if it made the other three unhappy? 

Maybe they shouldn’t have gone with Yoongi today. A little time to themselves wasn’t as important as their intended pack after all. Or they could have just let the three tag along. Anything would have been better than this current situation, really.

They had always had a soft spot for the chaos squad, as they had secretly dubbed the kids among themselves. Even back at the orphanage. They hadn’t thought twice about running away with them when it became apparent that two of them would present as omegas. All they had wanted was for them to be safe. How had they messed that up so badly? 

Worry and doubt began to bubble up more and more the closer they got to the river. By the time they reached the park and spotted the other group, Soobin felt drained. A quick glance at Yeonjun’s pale face had him figure that he felt exactly the same. At least the other three were here, so maybe they would be willing to talk to them, he thought. With a sigh, Yeonjun stepped closer to him. They hesitated for just about a second before continuing their way over to the little group. There was no avoiding this confrontation.

The moment the kids turned to face them, anxiety hit them full force and it only got worse when the three dropped the cards and scrambled to get up. They noticed Yoongi stepping away from them before realizing that the kids were actually running towards them instead of the other way. They were shouting excitedly but neither Soobin nor Yeonjun could make out any words in the chaos. For a moment Soobin thought they were still mad but then his brain registered that they were both smiling and looking sad at the same time. Next to him, he felt Yeonjun relax as relief began to wash over them. 

Within seconds the three were all over them, pulling them into a tight group hug, Kai being the first to reach them and throwing himself at both of them. Taehyun attached himself to Soobin and Beomgyu to Yeonjun. 

Worry gave way to relief and nervousness to confusion as the two elders realized that the other three didn’t appear to be angry anymore. The emotional rollercoaster left them exhausted and they opted for settling on the ground, drawing the younger ones down with them as they absolutely refused to let go of them. Still hugging them close, the kids kept shouting over each other, trying to tell them something. It was hard to make out anything in the chaos.. 

There was no way they could calm them down right now, both Yeonjun and Soobin knew that much from experience, so they simply hugged them back and silently waited for them to quiet down and make sense. This was something they were used to at least. It took a while but eventually the three realized that they weren’t getting anywhere like this and slowed down. 

‘Hyungs, we are so sorry!’, Taehyun sniffed, hugging Soobin close. 

Their eyes grew wide at that. The kids rarely ever called them hyungs, even though they had told them it was ok to do so years ago. If they did, it was usually more as a way of teasing but it rarely ever happened in serious situations. That just wasn’t how their dynamics worked. Usually. But today everything seemed to be different. 

‘We didn’t mean it, I swear’, Kai added, still clutching onto both of them. 

‘We were really, really stupid’, Beomgyu mumbled into Yeonjun’s neck. 

‘Yeah?’ Soobin inquired, not sure what else to say considering they had no idea what was going on. 

Kai whined. ‘We got it all wrong and we are so, so sorry! We thought maybe you regret having to look after us like this.’ 

‘And we thought that maybe you only stayed because you felt like you had to take care of us now’, Taehyun whispered. 

Soobin’s eyes widened in shocked realization as he caught on to what the three were talking about. Yeonjun sighed and hugged Beomgyu a little tighter. 

‘We didn’t mean it, none of it!’, Taehyun repeated, determined to bring their point across. 

‘We thought maybe if we don’t care it will be easier for you to leave… We really are so, so, so sorry’, Beomgyu added. 

Yeonjun and Soobin glanced at each other. How in the world had the three come to such a conclusion? As if they would ever want to be without them. What a ridiculous idea that was.

‘We’d never just leave you behind, don’t you know that?’, Soobin pointed out, carding a hand through Kai’s hair. ‘You’re not a burden, you’re our family.’ 

Yeonjun nodded in agreement. ‘We are here with you because we want to be, no matter how hard things are sometimes. We don’t regret any of this.’ 

They felt the kids relax at that, burrowing deeper into their group hug. 

‘We know that now’, Kai whispered. ‘Ji told us.’ 

‘Did he now?’, Yeonjun hummed questioningly. He had a feeling he knew exactly what Ji had told them. Not that he could blame him, it was probably the right thing to do in this situation. 

‘Is it really true?’, Beomgyu asked, pulling away a little to look at the two alphas. 

‘Is what true?’, Soobin asked back, not willing to give anything away before knowing that they were actually talking about the same thing. 

Taehyun looked up at them, too. ‘Do you really want to form a pack with us?’ 

The younger kids watched anxiously as Soobin and Yeonjun shared a long look before breaking into huge smiles. ‘Yeah, we do. We’ve been thinking about it for quite some time already’, Soobin said. ‘We were just waiting to tell you until you are old enough to make the decision consciously. But once you all are off age, we would love nothing more than to become an official pack. With all of you.’ 

‘We’re so sorry if you got the impression we didn’t want you. We’ll have to talk about what made you think that way later’, Yeonjun added, knowing they couldn’t just ignore this issue. But it would be a topic for later, when they all had calmed down and were alone. He hesitated for a second before deciding to take the risk. ‘So, now that you know – what do you think about it? Is that something you would want?’ 

The younger ones shared a look before pulling out of the group hug. For a moment, Soobin thought they were going to reject them. He met Yeonjun’s confused stare.

‘Hyungs’, Beomgyu called out to them and they returned their attention back to the other three. Taehyun was holding out a box to them. 

‘It’s for you’, Kai said with an excited smile. 

Soobin couldn’t remember ever having gotten a gift from the kids, unless it was on one of their birthdays. And even then it was usually just some kind of snack they would get them. Soobin and Yeonjun would always try to save up a little for each of the younger ones' birthdays to get them at least a small little trinket, usually something they needed like socks or underwear or scarfs. But they were the ones controlling their funds and running most of the errands. The kids just simply didn’t have the means to get them anything and they never expected them to. 

Yet, here they were now with a gift for them. An apology, maybe? Slowly, Soobin took the box, placing it in his lap so Yeonjun could see as well before lifting the lid. 

He blinked at the two bracelets inside and glanced at Yeonjun who looked just as startled as he felt. These looked expensive. He took in the shining black stones and the three grey ones that stood apart from the rest because of their different shapes. 

Yeonjun ran a finger over one of the bracelets, feeling the cold, smooth surface of the stones, unsure what to make of this. ‘Where did you get these?’, he asked with a small frown. 

‘They are from a thrift store’, Taehyun explained. 

‘The old lady was really, really nice. She said they belonged with us’, Beomgyu added quickly when he noticed the two alphas still frowning at the contents of the box. 

‘Ji helped us find them!’, Kai exclaimed and that finally put their minds at ease. If Ji had been involved, this should be alright. Looking down at the bracelets, Soobin smiled, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that the younger ones had gotten these for them. 

‘They are really beautiful. Thank you so much!’, he said quietly. 

‘We’ll make sure to treasure them’, Yeonjun added with a smile. 

‘You have to put them on!’, Taehyun pouted, looking impatient and sharing a glance with the others. Soobin and Yeonjun reached for the bracelets and carefully slid them over their wrists. They really were beautiful, Yeonjun thought as he exchanged another long look with Soobin. Things had turned out alright, hadn’t they? Even if the kids hadn’t said yes to a pack, they were still here after all. A small smile played on Soobin’s lips as he nodded his head inconceivably to answer Yeonjun’s silent question. 

‘Hyungs, look!’ 

Three wrists were being held out in front of them, showing off three more bracelets that were exactly the same as theirs.

‘Is that answer enough to your question?’, Beomgyu grinned.

‘Of course we want that! What kind of question is that even?!’, Kai added with an indignant look. 

‘We’ve always wanted that’, Taehyun admitted quietly. ‘These can be our symbol to show that we belong together until we can finally form an official pack.’

Silently, the two elders reached out and pulled the three back into a hug. 

‘They are perfect’, Yeonjun whispered and Soobin added a soft ‘Thank you so, so much.’

-----

Jimin was glaring at the scene in front of him, blinking rapidly. He and Yoongi had been watching things unfold from a distance to give the kids some space. It was so endearing, it made him angry. He really didn’t want to cry. 

‘Do something’, he muttered to Yoongi under his breath, ‘or I’m going to cry.’ 

Yoongi, who had noticed Jimin’s struggle a while ago and enjoyed it quite a lot, turned to him, grinning. ‘A very wise person once told me that it was ok to show your emotions. Apparently it’s a sign of being strong.’ 

Jimin stared at him in disbelief. ‘Are you turning my own words against me right now?!’

Yoongi contemplated. ‘I don’t know, am I? What do you think?’ 

The other huffed. ‘I think you are way too smug for your own good.’ 

Yoongi chuckled. ‘I mean, can you blame me? After all, for once I’m the one out of the two of us who is actually keeping it together.’ 

Jimin sighed. ‘I can’t help it, that was adorable!’ 

‘It was’, Yoongi agreed, moving closer and pulling Jimin into a hug. ‘I shall be your tear shield', he teased, tucking Jimin's face into his neck. 'Make it quick, though, you probably only have a few minutes left before they notice. They seem to have the attention span of goldfish.'

Jimin burst out laughing.

-----

They ended up getting dinner at the terrace once again. This time Yoongi was outvoted not only by Jimin but also by the kids when he tried to pay for everyone. They insisted that it was their turn to treat him. 

‘If you really want to contribute to this, hyung, you can help me out with the errands tomorrow’, Jimin told him with a sly grin. 

It was already hard to win this type of argument against just Jimin alone, Yoongi thought. It would be impossible for him to come out on top against all six of them. He definitely knew better than to pick this particular battle so he complied, but not without grumbling something about some people being too stubborn for their own good. It made the group around him crack up, laughter trailing behind him as he left them at the stalls to go and secure a table. Jimin was the first to join him, bringing a variety of drinks with him. Yoongi was quick to get up and help him. 

‘Thanks’, the beta said as they settled at the table. ‘They will probably take a while. I hashed out a few deals with the vendors but left the food choice to them and they can never agree on what to get anyway.’ 

Yoongi grabbed a can of coke from their drink selection and plopped it open. 

‘Not Soobin and Yeonjun, tough’, he pointed out, thinking back to their time at the BBQ restaurant. 

‘Those two usually like the same things. Unfortunately for them it’s most of the time not something any of the others crave’, Jimin grinned, taking a can of pear juice for himself. 

‘Where’d you take them anyway?’ 

‘BBQ place. We went for the all-you-can-eat course’, Yoongi looked quite pleased with himself. 

Jimin stared at him in disbelief. ‘Hyung! What were you thinking? Those courses are expensive! I can’t believe they agreed to that…’ 

Yoongi smirked. ‘Didn’t you tell them to let me spoil them when you sent us off?’ 

‘That’s not- Hyung, you know I didn’t mean it like that!’, the younger huffed. 

‘Relax, Jimin-ah. It’s not like I couldn’t afford it and they really deserved it after what happened earlier, don’t you think? Besides, if it makes you feel any better, it took me quite a while to actually convince them to set foot into that restaurant.’

Jimin sighed. Yoongi had a point there. ‘I guess they did deserve it. How’d it go, by the way? Are they ok now?’ 

The alpha hummed. ‘I believe so’, he said and proceeded to update Jimin on what they had talked about, careful to leave out any information he had learned about the beta’s hyungs. 

‘So yeah, I’d say they are just fine, especially after the welcome the kids just gave them. What happened back there anyway? What had them act up that badly? And how’d you get your hands on those bracelets?’ 

‘That’s a lot of questions, hyung’, Jimin laughed. He cast a glance over to the lot who were still in the middle of a food argument and gave Yoongi a quick rundown on his lunch talk and afternoon with the three younger kids. 

‘So they meant well but chose the wrong method, huh’, Yoongi mumbled to himself. 

‘That’s what I thought, too’, Jimin nodded.

They sat in silence while Yoongi contemplated how exactly he would break the news about the phones to Jimin. If he already deemed the BBQ place to be too much, he wouldn’t take lightly to the phones at all. Maybe it would be best to wait until they were back at Jimin’s place, he decided. With a little luck, the beta would be tired by then and wouldn’t throw too much of a fit.

-----

The lot eventually returned with a variety of food ranging from gimbap to corn dogs and a selection of skewers, immediately taking over the table and the conversation. 

‘Ji, you’re going to have to take us to that thrift store’, Yeonjun grinned at the beta. 

‘Don’t do it, Ji!’, Beomgyu groaned. 

‘Did you think just because you don’t want to tell us where it is we can’t find out?’ Soobin smirked at the younger kids, making Kai throw his hands in the air. ‘No fair!’ 

Taehyun nodded. ‘It’s our secret place.’ 

Jimin raised an eyebrow. ‘It used to be MY secret place. Maybe I should ask Yoongi-hyung to help the store owner relocate and to only share the new location with me.’ 

He turned to give the alpha a begging look. Yoongi caught on quickly. ‘If that’s what you want, Jimin-ah, I’m sure I can find a way to arrange for it. You know I’d do whatever I can to help you.’ 

Jimin’s eyes sparkled. ‘Hyung, that would be amazing! I can take you there tomorrow after we run our errands so you can see what kind of store it is! And maybe talk to the owner to figure out where she would like to relocate to?’ 

Yoongi nodded, all serious. ‘It depends on her, of course. If she doesn’t want to relocate, there’s nothing I can do at all.’ 

‘I know. But I bet she wouldn’t mind, the place is pretty old and in constant need of repairs.’ Jimin paused, casting Yoongi a hopeful look. ‘If she does decide to relocate, you do promise not to tell anyone but me where she went though, right?’ 

‘Of course, Jimin-ah. I promise not to tell anyone’, he replied, desperately trying to fight the chuckle that threatened to escape him ever since he caught a glimpse of the younger kids’ perplexed expressions. They were following the conversation with wide eyes, glancing between Jimin and Yoongi, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. 

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Yeonjun and Soobin exchange a look before quickly gazing in opposite directions, carefully avoiding to look at Jimin and Yoongi and obviously trying to suppress their own amusement. Yoongi smirked and returned his attention to Jimin. 

‘Actually I think I know the exact right person to help us with this. One of my friends is an architect and he is really well acquainted with many of the real estate agents here in Seoul. I am pretty sure that he can help us find the perfect location for the store. And if the rent is too high, we will figure something out. I owe you, after all.’ 

Jimin would make a great actor, Yoongi thought as he watched the beta’s whole expression light up, eyes filling with excitement, a huge smile forming on his face. Without warning, he flung himself onto Yoongi, hugging him tightly. 

‘You’re the absolute best, Yoongi-hyung! You have no idea how much this means to me!’ 

Yoongi chuckled, hugging him back. ‘I think I do.’ 

He felt Jimin suppress a snort, hiding his face in Yoongi’s neck, and grinned. ‘So we have a date tomorrow?’ Jimin pulled away and looked at him, still all smiles and very excited looking. ‘You bet we do!’ 

‘Jiiii’, Kai whined. 

‘You’re kidding, right, Yoongi-hyung?’, Beomgyu asked hopefully and Taehyun nodded vigorously. ‘You can’t just do something like that. It’s not that easy, right?’ 

Yeonjun snorted. ‘Taehyunie, Yoongi-hyung just explained that he has connections. You know who he is. Do you really doubt him?’ 

‘I guess it’s fair, too’, Soobin added. ‘At least that way none of us know the location anymore.’ He paused, then smirked. ‘Well, except for Ji and Yoongi-hyung, of course.’ 

Jimin beamed at all of them. ‘It will be MY secret place again.’ 

He watched as Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai scrutinized first him and Yoongi, then Yeonjun and Soobin, looking for any sign of flippancy and finding nothing. 

‘What’s with the long faces?’, Soobin asked sternly. ‘Shouldn’t you be happy for Ji? At least he gets to keep his special place a secret.’ 

They turned to look at Jimin. 

‘I mean… I guess?’, Taehyun asked in a deflated tone. Beomgyu and Kai nodded, bewildered looks on their faces. 

Yeonjun smirked. ‘I can tell that you don’t like it. You know, you can always hope that the store owner refuses Yoongi-hyung’s offer.’ 

He looked at Soobin, who was biting his lip hard and then over to Jimin and Yoongi who were sitting opposite him and by now were having a hard time keeping it together themselves. There were a few seconds of silence before all four of them couldn’t take it any longer and burst out laughing. 

Jimin doubled over in his chair and losing his balance, grabbed onto Yoongi, who was laughing too hard himself to keep the two of them steady. Wheezing, they ended up on the floor. The sight made Yeonjun and Soobin laugh even harder, Yeonjun hiding his face in his arms on top of the table and Soobin more or less hiding under it, hunched over in his chair. 

Kai, Taehyun and Beomgyu just stared at them for a while. 

‘So you were just kidding after all’, Beomgyu declared eventually. 

It sent the four into another laughing fit. 

‘They act like little kids’, Taehyun complained. Kai nodded his agreement and grabbed a skewer. ‘Well for your information, we were just kidding, too. About not wanting to take the hyungs to the store.’ 

‘What’s so funny about that?’, Beomgyu exclaimed as the four elders burst into another round of laughter. 

‘W-we kn-knew that’, Yeonjun squeezed out between peals of laughter, effectively dragging the other three into another fit. 

‘So you were just messing with us this whole time? And here you say we are the kids.’ Kai shook his head looking doubtful. 

‘We’re definitely the mature ones here right now’, Beomgyu decided. 

Taehyun threw a look at the laughing mess around him and reached for a corn dog. 

‘Let’s just eat, they’ll calm down eventually.’

-----

They did calm down eventually and just in time to still be able to get some of the food which by then had been diminished almost halfway by the three youngest. Dinner continued with a lot of banter for a while. 

‘So’, Soobin asked at some point, ‘you went to the thrift store. What else did you do today?’ 

‘Well, before the thrift store, we went to a couple of other stores to browse for your gift but everything was apparently too mainstream’, Jimin grinned at the use of his newly learned vocabulary. 

‘And after the thrift store Ji took us to the arcade and got us ice cream and then we waited at the park.’ 

Yoongi raised an eyebrow at hearing Kai’s recount of their day. There was something missing in this report. ‘Sounds like you had a lot of fun today.’ 

Taehyun shivered as they exchanged a look. ‘We did. After lunch.’ 

Having noticed the glance the three had shared, Yeonjun decided to get to the bottom of this. ‘After lunch? What about before that?’ 

There was a moment of silence. Jimin smirked and grabbed another skewer. There was no way he was going to tell this part, he’d leave it up to the kids. 

Kai fidgeted in his seat. ‘Well-‘ a pause. ‘Ji scolded us.’ 

Yeonjun and Soobin grinned. ‘Did he now?’ 

They nodded, shuddering. ‘It was really scary.’ 

Taehyun glanced at Beomgyu and Kai who dipped their heads in agreement. Jimin huffed. 

‘Oh, come on! Yeah, I was angry but you brought that upon yourselves with the way you behaved. And you could have still spared yourselves the worst of it if you had talked to me instead of opting to play the silent game. So yeah, I’d venture to say it was deserved. But it was definitely not scary.’ 

There was a scoff to his right and he turned to look at Yoongi in disbelief. 

‘No offense, Jimin-ah, but you are scary when you are angry.’ 

Jimin looked flustered. 

‘I’m most definitely not! Say something!’, he gestured towards Soobin and Yeonjun. 

The two younger alphas shifted uneasily in their seats, remembering the sewer incident. ‘I’m sorry, Ji, but angry you really is scary’, Soobin sided with the rest of the group. ‘I can totally see why Taehyunnie was hesitant to declare that time as fun.’ 

Jimin huffed. ‘Scoldings are never fun’, he mumbled to himself, remembering how Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung had scolded him after he had ventured out alone without telling them where he was. ‘It has nothing to do with me being scary.’ 

‘It has!’, exploded around him and he sighed inwardly before staring daggers at the lot and Yoongi. If they insisted so much, he might as well have some fun with them. 

‘Is that so?’, he asked, voice dangerously low. 

Beomgyu, Kai and Taehyun paled, having heard the exact same tone of voice already once today. 

‘You do realize that you are very close to experiencing exactly that right now, don’t you?’, he continued, watching them like a hawk. The six of them stared back at him with wide eyes.

‘Unless, of course, we can put this behind us quickly. Like I said, I really am not all that scary when I’m angry. I’m sure you agree?’ 

Six heads bopped up and down quickly and Jimin decided to file this information away for the future. He hadn’t known angry him could actually install fear in others. 

Not that it was his intention, not at all. He was just passionate about things and if something rubbed him the wrong way, maybe he came across a bit more strongly than he supposed he did. He didn’t mind it though. It was kind of like having a hidden superpower, he mused. Definitely a nice thing to know. It might come in handy someday. 

Taking in the lot and Yoongi, who were still staring at him, he summoned up one of his biggest smiles for them, eyes crinkling. 

‘I knew we could all agree on this’, he hummed happily. 

‘That’s even more scary than him being angry’, Beomgyu whispered to Soobin, who nodded in silent agreement. Jimin, who overheard it, filed that away as useful information as well. 

Still smiling, he turned to Yeonjun and Soobin. 

‘So, now that you know of our day, how about you tell us about yours?’ 

‘Yeah’, Kai begged, ‘we don’t know what you’ve been up to today at all!’

Yoongi froze. They weren’t going to tell everyone about the phones now, were they? Belatedly he realized that maybe he should have talked to them about how to break the news to Jimin. 

The two younger alphas exchanged a look. 

‘We had lunch at a BBQ restaurant’, Soobin smiled. ‘And hyung took us to this amazing café with lots of plants and a great view over the city. What was the name again?’, Yeonjun turned to Yoongi who breathed a sigh of relief at the omission of their visit to the electronics store. 

‘The Sky Farm’, he explained, ‘It’s located quite high up on the 51rst floor and is a cross between a greenhouse, a café and an observatory.’ 

‘Whoa, that sounds so cool!’, Taehyun looked excited. 

Yeonjun nodded in agreement. ‘It really was.’ 

‘I’ve never seen the city from that high up before, it was amazing’, Soobin added, eyes sparkling at the memory. ‘Yoongi-hyung pointed out some landmarks to us and we were actually able to make out our part of the river. If you know what you are looking for, it’s even possible to recognize parts of the terrace and the community.’ 

Yoongi smiled to himself. He had taken the two there on a whim, thinking they might appreciate the experience. Hearing them talk about the place so fondly now made him realize just how much they had actually enjoyed it. Although he had noticed before that they seemed to like the place. It had been obvious by the way they had been drawn to the windowpanes and even more later on, when they had taken countless pictures of the view with their phone. 

Yoongi’s brain screeched to a halt. 

Oh no. 

Pictures… 

He turned his attention back to the conversation just in time to hear Yeonjun exclaim: ‘We’re so stupid, we can just show you!’ 

Soobin stared at him for a second before catching on and smiling brightly. ‘Of course!’ He reached for their small backpack. 

‘Wait, are we going there?!’, Kai asked bewildered. 

Yeonjun grinned and shook his head as Soobin rummaged through their bag. ‘Of course not. We took pictures.’ 

The others exchanged a glance. 

‘Pictures?’, Beomgyu looked confused. 

Yoongi looked on in silence, wondering briefly if there was any way to stop this from happening at this point. There wasn’t though and he knew it very well. 

With a triumphant smile Soobin finally found what he had been looking for. He pulled the phone out of the bag and proceeded to pull up the gallery, briefly going over the pictures with Yeonjun. Neither of them noticed the silence that had settled over the table at the sight of the phone. 

Kai, Beomgyu and Taehyun stared at the device as though it might dissolve into thin air the moment they blinked. 

Jimin stared daggers at it before his eyes narrowed. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. ‘Where did you get that?’ His voice cut through the silence like a knife, clear and stern. 

Soobin and Yeonjun startled. ‘Huh?’ They stared at him, confusion evident on their faces. 

Jimin gestured towards the phone in Soobin’s hand. 

‘Oh’, the younger of the two breathed, catching on. He exchanged a look with his fellow alpha before smiling at Jimin. 

‘The phone? Yoongi-hyung got it for us, of course.’ 

‘Of course’, Jimin echoed flatly, voice void of any emotion. 

Yeonjun nodded. ‘It's fine, Ji, we talked to him about it first. He got one for you, too.’ 

Yoongi closed his eyes and waited for the storm to come.

Only, the storm didn’t come. At least not in the way Yoongi had expected it. Instead, there was complete and utter silence that kept on stretching until he couldn’t bear it anymore. He opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn’t. 

Jimin’s stormy eyes were boring into his. If looks could kill, he’d probably be six feet under already, Yoongi thought with a shudder. The lot was suspiciously silent, too. He glanced at them, seeing them watch Jimin raptly. 

Yeonjun and Soobin smirked almost inconceivably. Noticing his look, Soobin raised an eyebrow at him. Those brats, he thought. They had warned him that Jimin wouldn’t take lightly to a gift like this and he had talked them into it anyway. Judging from the expressions on their faces now, they were clearly set to enjoy the show. He sighed. 

‘Jimin-ah-’, he began.

‘Don’t you DARE Jimin-ah me, Yoongi-ssi!’ 

Yoongi’s eyes widened at the honorific. 

‘I thought we talked about this! You can’t just go around buying things for us, especially not something this expensive and unnecessary. I TOLD you, didn’t I?! Don’t spend your money like that! Not on me, not on the two of them, not on ANY of us, EVER! We’re doing fine, we’re not wanting for anything that we couldn’t take care of ourselves.’ 

He paused for a second and looked over at Soobin and Yeonjun, who cowered under his angry expression, the earlier smirks long gone from their faces. This was turning out worse than they had expected. 

‘And YOU!’ They shuddered. ‘I can’t believe I raised you like this! Haven’t I told you over and over again that we repay favors with favors? That we only take something when we can give something in return? How in the world are you going to repay Yoongi-ssi for this now?!?’ 

Yoongi cleared his throat. ‘Who says anyone has to repay me?’ 

Jimin whirled around to stare at him again. ‘Oh, but we DO, Yoongi-ssi. Have you learned nothing in the past few days?! I thought you had grabbed the concept that we live by very well but apparently I was wrong, so let me explain it to you.’ 

Jimin took a deep breath before enunciating very carefully and slowly as if he was speaking to someone feebleminded: 

‘This community survives the way it is because we follow a certain set of rules. Favors are to be repaid with favors. Unrepaid favors can come back to haunt us in the future. Taking something without giving something back in return is dangerous, it can cause trouble. That doesn’t just go for people from outside the community but also for those being a part of it. Don’t ever leave yourself indebted to anyone.’ 

Soobin sighed. ‘Ji-‘ 

Jimin held up his hand, effectively silencing him. 

‘I don’t want to hear it, Soobin! You know very well that these rules are the very core of what keeps our community together. Don’t ever stay in anyone’s debt, don’t make yourself or the community vulnerable. How on earth did you think accepting something like this would be ok? It is way out of our league and you both know that!’ 

‘Come on, Ji. Do you really think Yoongi-hyung would take advantage of us like that?’, Yeonjun asked in disbelief. 

‘You could just trust me, you know?’, Yoongi muttered under his breath.

Jimin glared at them. ‘It doesn’t matter what I believe or don’t believe. This is a matter of principle. If we start letting our guard down like this, we will set a bad example for the rest of the community. It will lead others to believe that deals like this are ok when we all know they are not. Do you want to set a bad example for everyone else?! Besides, accepting something like this will also lower your own resolve to resist such offers in the future. If it was ok once, a second time can’t hurt, right? Or a third, or a fourth and so on. Until someday it won’t be ok and THEN WHAT?!’ 

He stared at them, voice rising in anger, hands balling into fists. 

‘I can’t believe this! We have these rules in place for a reason and you just go and break them because of WHAT?! You suddenly feel the desperate need to have a phone? Something you haven’t needed EVER before in your lives?! And Yoongi-ssi, I TOLD you that you couldn’t just do stuff like this. I took you on those errands and around the community to show you how we live around here. To show you that we can take care of ourselves and that the community is sufficient enough to provide for its members’ needs. Yet you go and pull something like this?!’ 

‘Jimin, there’s a reason-‘ 

‘I DON’T CARE IF THERE IS A REASON! THIS ISN’T OK AND ALL OF YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT!’, Jimin all but yelled at them, making some of the people at nearby tables turn to their little group. 

‘Ji, people are staring’, Soobin tried to soothe him. 

Jimin didn’t care at all. ‘Let them watch then. It’s not like we’re talking about shady deals or anything. Since when do we care about what others think of us anyway?’ He paused, taking a deep breath before turning to look from Soobin and Yeonjun to Yoongi and back. 

‘Those phones are going to be returned first thing tomorrow morning.’ 

‘Ji-‘, 

‘Please, Jimin just-‘ 

Jimin’s fist slammed on the table with a thud, rattling the dishes and making all of them jump in their seats. 

‘Those phones are going to be returned first thing tomorrow morning’, he repeated icily. ‘End of discussion.’ 

He looked at the three alphas once more. ‘I’m disappointed. I really thought you knew better than pulling something like this. Since you all seem to get along so well, it will probably be best for Yoongi-ssi to stay with you for now. I honestly don’t think I want to talk to any of you anytime soon, so please excuse me.’ 

And with that he got up and made his way down to the riverbank.

-----

They stared after him in shocked silence. 

‘Wow, now you’ve really done it. He’s spitting mad’, Beomgyu muttered under his breath, staring at the three elders who looked deathly pale. 

‘Why’d you even do something like that? You must have known he wouldn’t ever agree to it’, Kai wondered. 

‘Especially the two of you’, Taehyun pointed at Soobin and Yeonjun. 

The three alphas shared a look but stayed silent. 

Kai rolled his eyes. ‘Come on, there must have been a reason.’ 

The silence stretched on. 

The three younger ones exchanged a look. Wasn’t this scene kind of familiar? It was almost the same as during their lunch at the restaurant with Ji. 

Beomgyu smirked. ‘So you got nothing to say for yourselves?’ He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, waiting for a response that didn’t come. 

Taehyun caught his eye and winked. ‘Suit yourselves’, he said, mirroring Beomgyu’s pose. ‘We can wait’, Kai added with a devilish smile and crossed his arms as well. 

Just like Ji had done with them earlier today, they kept a level stare at the three elders, letting the silence stretch on and on and on. If it had worked for Ji, it most likely would work for them as well, right? They just had to be patient. 

Eventually, Yeonjun sighed. ‘We just wanted to be able to stay in touch’, he said vaguely. 

Beomgyu snorted. ‘We’ve been staying in touch for years without a phone. Tracking Ji down is not a problem at all and you both know it. Even Yoongi-hyung should know that by now, you have witnessed it often enough. And we most definitely would have been able to find a way to stay in touch with Yoongi-hyung without the phones as well. You know that, too.’ 

They watched as the three exchanged another look, opting to stay silent once again. There had to be more to it than that. None of the alphas would do something like this and risk a falling out with Ji without good reason, that much they were sure of. 

Taehyun sighed in annoyance and looked at Kai who nodded and slammed his hand on the table, startling the three elders. 

‘Out with it already’, he said. ‘What was your real reason for getting those phones?’ 

More silence engulfed them. By now the three younger ones could definitely understand Ji’s frustration with them earlier today. This was ridiculous. They shared a look. Adulting was a lot harder than they had expected but they would be damned if they were to just give up now.

Channeling their earlier experience, Taehyun growled lowly. ‘The silent game doesn’t work on us, we’re masters at it ourselves.’ 

Kai nodded in agreement. ‘If you can’t speak for yourselves, maybe we can help you out.’ He looked over at Beomgyu, who smirked. 

‘We get it, you know? You aren’t talking to us because you don’t want to worry us. But guess what? We don’t mind having to worry. We’d rather worry together with you than see you do so by yourselves. Besides, we can’t help you if you don’t talk to us. So answer this: What on earth made you think it was ok to get these phones when you knew exactly that it was against everything the community stands for and that Ji would never approve of them?’ 

The three elders stared at them, then exchanged a bewildered look. When had the kids become so mature? Not that Yoongi could really judge this, but his impression of those three had been that of rather carefree kids. Yet here they were, handling the situation as if they had done it many times before. He could tell by their wide-eyed stares that Yeonjun and Soobin were just as surprised at this as he was. He shot them a look. In the end it would be their decision how much they wanted to share with the kids, but he hoped his look conveyed that he was fine with clueing the younger ones in. 

A moment of silent communication passed between the two younger alphas and then Soobin nodded almost inconceivably and sighed. ‘We knew he wouldn’t like it but we had our reasons. He just didn’t want to hear them.’ 

Kai frowned, arms still crossed in front of his chest. ‘And what reasons would that be?’ 

‘One’, Yoongi lifted a finger. ‘I won’t always be around like now. We’re currently in between comebacks and have a more relaxed schedule but that will change soon enough. I want to be able to make sure all of you are alright. Even when I am traveling all over the country. Or even overseas. And I want you to be able to reach me at any given time, anywhere in the world, in case there ever is an emergency.’ 

They nodded. That sounded like a very valid reason to them. 

‘Two’, Yeonjun held up two fingers, ‘Soobin and I would like to be able to contact Yoongi-hyung for advice, even if or especially when he is far away. We aren’t always all that sure ourselves about the decisions we make and Yoongi-hyung knows how packs work and understands what we worry about. He has given us such great advice today and being able to reach him when we struggle would really put our minds at ease.’ 

The three younger ones were stunned. Sure, they had suspected that Yeonjun and Soobin were having a hard time sometimes. They had known that they talked to Ji from time to time about their worries. But they had not once heard them admit it out loud. The two alphas had never clued them in like this before. If Yoongi-hyung was the reason for this change, they definitely wanted for the two to be able to stay in touch with him as well.  

‘Three’, Soobin brought up three fingers, ‘and this is probably the most important reason to all of us.’ He looked at Yeonjun and Yoongi, who nodded. 

‘During our talk today, Yoongi-hyung learned about Junseo and Hajun and realized that Ji is staying at his place in those sewers all by himself, which worries him. It worries us, too. This is something Yeonjun and I have talked about many times in the past already. If anything were to happen to Ji in there, nobody would know how to find him and there would be no way to contact him, either. What if he falls really sick or gets injured and can’t make it out again? What if he is stuck in there, in need of help and nobody knows where exactly he is? Until now, we had resigned ourselves to just having to map out the place and try to find him if such a situation ever occurred. But with the phones, we could rest assured that at least as long as Ji is conscious we would be able to reach him and hopefully get him to give us instructions on how to get to him.’ 

Beomgyu, Kai and Taehyun glanced at each other. Now this was a reason they could fully get behind. They had talked about that among themselves already as well. The sewers were a maze, they knew it from experience and the thought of Ji possibly being stuck in there without any of them being able to contact him, without him being able to reach out for help, had worried them as well. They had given their promise to not explore the sewers anymore, though, so they had refrained from the urge to actually venture in and map the place out just in case. 

‘Those are all very valid reasons, though’, Taehyun said quietly. ‘I’m sure Ji would understand them, too.’ 

‘He wouldn’t even listen to what we have to say’, Yeonjun muttered dejectedly. 

‘Of course not!’, Kai snorted. 

‘What did you expect?’ Beomgyu stared at them, baffled. ‘You know how much he cares for the community and how much he wants to protect it and the people living there. Even if he usually doesn’t let on to that. We all know it. There’s a reason why everyone in the community respects him so much. He’d do anything to keep it safe. You just showing up with the phones was probably a low blow to him. Did you forget that everything we know about the community we learned from him? You, too, Yoongi-hyung. Ji went out of his way to teach us how things work around here. He thought you all understood where he was coming from and you just went behind his back, pulling something like this, breaking the rules and not even consulting him on the matter first. How else was he supposed to react?’ 

Taehyun nodded. ‘You should have included him in that decision. He’s been the one who helped us get settled here, to teach us, to look after us. He probably feels like he failed you now because to him it looks like you either didn’t understand anything he tried to teach us or that somehow you simply don’t care. If you had talked to him, he most likely still would have given you a hard time but he would also have understood your reasons and eventually would have come around.’ 

The alphas stared at them. Were those really the same kids who had just thrown around hurtful insults because of misconception earlier today? How come they understood the currently missing beta so well? And how had they themselves not seen where Jimin was coming from, how this would look to him? 

‘We didn’t mean to go hurt him’, Soobin mumbled, sounding dejected. 

‘Not at all’, Yoongi added quietly. ‘We really meant well. I guess we judged this whole situation wrong.’ 

‘You most definitely did’, Beomgyu agreed wryly. He got up, Taehyun and Kai following his example quickly. 

Yeonjun frowned at them. ‘What now?’ 

Kai grinned at them. ‘Cheer up, all is not lost yet.’ They laughed at the alphas’ confused expressions. ‘We’re going to find Ji and talk him out of his fit’, Taehyun clarified. 

That earned him three disbelieving stares. ‘That’s not going to work. Don’t rile him up even more, let him calm down first’, Yeonjun muttered. 

‘It’ll work just fine, you’re all just too stupid to see the obvious. All four of you.’ Beomgyu smirked as the other two nodded vigorously. ‘Don’t worry, we know how to deal with Ji right now.’ And with that they turned and made their way down towards the rivershore to find the beta, leaving the three elders staring after them in bewilderment. 

‘When have they grown up like this?’, Yeonjun wondered. 

‘I wouldn’t know, I’ve only met you all officially yesterday and I doubt it happened overnight’, Yoongi deadpanned. 

Soobin shook his head. ‘This day is just full of surprises, huh?’ 

They sighed in unison. For a while, nobody said a word, each of them replaying the scene from before in their heads and wondering what they could do to fix this mess.

‘I’m really sorry’, Yoongi suddenly said, giving them an earnest look. ‘It was obvious from the moment I offered that you didn't want to accept. I shouldn’t have talked you into this.’

‘No, hyung’, Yeonjun protested immediately. 'Don't apologize.'

‘You didn’t talk us into this, hyung’, Soobin was quick to agree. ‘We agreed because your arguments make sense and because we could see how this would benefit all of us. If anything, we should apologize. We knew we were breaking the rules and we also knew how important they are to Ji. It wasn’t ok to not tell you about this. We should have clued you in as well before deciding anything.’

Yoongi sighed. ‘It still wasn’t ok to push you when you initially refused.’ Seeing that they wanted to protest again, he held up a hand. 'I understand what you are trying to tell me but I still shouldn't have put pressure on you. Let’s just agree that we all didn’t do too well here, hm?’

They nodded reluctantly and he sighed at their dejected expressions. 'Now, don't be so down. I told you before, arguments happen, right? You fixed the issue with the other three even though you had real doubts about that. We'll fix this one, too.' He gave them the most reassuring smile he could muster - which wasn't all that easy because despite his words he knew Jimin had closed off, it had been evident by the distant look in his when he had told them he wanted to be left alone for now.

‘We need to make it up to Ji somehow’, Soobin muttered as if reading his thoughts.

Yeonjun and Yoongi nodded. They might as well use the time to try and come up with a solution for this mess while they were waiting for the other three to return.

Chapter Text

After storming off, Jimin made his way down to the river. For a moment he considered throwing stone insults again but he didn’t want to risk being heard by the others so he decided against it. Instead he paced up and down the river, trying to walk off some of his anger until he eventually settled on the ground close to the water, a little bit away from the terrace. 

He was angry, there was no denying that. The community rules had been broken carelessly and neither Yeonjun nor Soobin seemed to care. With Yoongi, it was at least partly understandable. He wasn’t from the community and he had only been around for a very short time. Still, Jimin had thought the alpha understood quite well - until now. Apparently he had been wrong. 

The other two, though – they should have resisted the temptation. Had he really failed so badly in teaching them the values of their community? Maybe he should have looked after them more instead of trusting the lot to be able to take care of themselves. 

A sigh escaped him. If he was being totally honest with himself, he was actually more hurt than angry. Sure, they had messed with the rules and he was upset about it but what really got to him was the fact that those three had simply made the decision to get the phones without consulting him first. He knew they weren’t obligated to do so but it still stung. 

‘Stop being irrational, Park Jimin’, he muttered to himself. ‘They can do whatever they want, they don’t need to include you in their decisions.’ 

He shook his head. For years he had been looking out for the lot, always careful to not let them get too close. But then Yoongi had happened and everything had begun to change. Suddenly Jimin had felt less lonely. There was something about the alpha that made him feel more at peace with his situation than he had in years. Even when the other wasn’t around. 

Bit by bit Jimin had begun to realize that even with his mission, maybe he was allowed a little bit of happiness, too. Even if it was just for a very short time. 

And so he had begun to open up more, had let the lot and Yoongi get closer to him and entrusted them with more than anyone else ever since Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung. He shared his real name with them, allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of Yoongi and let all of them see his softer and more carefree side. 

He had thought that somehow they just fit together well. That they complemented each other, that they could make a great team. But it hadn’t even been two full days yet and he had already been proven wrong. They were doing just fine without him, after all. 

And maybe that really was for the better, he thought darkly. At least this way parting would be easier, just like he had always wanted it to be. 

Maybe it would be best for him to focus on his plan again. Things had progressed much more slowly ever since Yoongi had come looking for him and Jimin was on a tight schedule. It was already August, he was slowly running out of time. If he wanted to go through with it, he would have to step up his game. There was still so much to do and two months wasn’t a lot of time. 

Yeah, he decided, it really was for the best this way. He shouldn’t let anyone close again. He had never intended to do so anyway. Once he set his plan into motion they would part, he was better off just doing his thing. 

Jimin frowned. This was the most logical solution. He had always tried to keep his distance and to not get attached. It shouldn’t be any different now, so why did the thought of distancing himself from the kids and especially Yoongi again hurt? Why did it hurt that they hadn’t included him in their decision when in the future he wouldn’t be part of something like that anyway? 

He shook his head at himself. 

How stupid to long for something one couldn’t have, he thought gloomily. 

If only he had kept his distance all along. 

-----

Jimin was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai approaching until they silently settled down next to him. Startled, he turned his head to see who exactly had decided to join him here, relaxing slightly when he realized that it wasn’t any of the alphas but the three kids. It didn’t look like they were going to say something anytime soon and he was grateful for that. He really didn’t want to talk right now.

Slowly Jimin returned his attention back to the river. He had always felt connected to it. 

It was just like him. Clean and peaceful at first glance yet polluted and troubled when you took a closer look. At some points calm and slow, at others wild and dangerous. It could drag you under when you least suspected it. 

Just like life, he thought. 

Just like his life. 

How ironic that he had ended up residing right next to it in the end. Although that really had been his hyungs’ fault. If they hadn’t taken him in, he probably would have ended up somewhere completely different. 

He frowned when he felt a pang in his heart. Thinking of them wasn’t supposed to hurt like this anymore. It hadn’t in the longest time. Why now? 

Closing his eyes he tried to will the feeling away, conjuring up thoughts of his plan and things he still needed to accomplish before his self-set deadline. Why couldn’t he focus on it? It never had been a problem before. Somehow, everything had freaking changed since he had helped Yoongi-hyung that damn night. 

He faltered in his thoughts. 

Yoongi-hyung. 

His mind brought up images of nights not spent alone. Himself clinging to Yoongi’s back, trying to wake him up. Errands run together. All the small trinkets Yoongi had set out for him at his place. Breakfast pancakes. Arms wrapping around him. 

Jimin-ah. 

For a while, Jimin just sat there, eyes closed, listening to the sound of the unpredictable river current, feeling the soft summer breeze on his face. His wolf reveled in the memories they had made with Yoongi in their short time together and Jimin had no idea what to make of this. Why did the thought of the alpha manage to keep his mind from going haywire even though they had just fallen out? 

He shook his head determinedly, ridding himself of all thoughts and opened his eyes again. 

‘Yah!’, he yelled and jolted backwards. 

He had been so lost in thought that he had totally forgotten about the kids being there. Apparently his behavior had gotten their attention because when he opened his eyes, he found himself face to face with a worried looking, wide-eyed Taehyun, who was kneeling in front of him, so close that their noses were almost touching. The younger yelped in surprise and fell backwards as well. They stared at each other for a moment. 

Beomgyu, who was sitting to Jimin’s right, held out a hand to Taehyun and helped him up before turning to the other beta. 

‘Are you alright, Ji?’ He sounded concerned. 

Jimin frowned. ‘Why wouldn’t I be? Unlike you all I’m just not used to waking up with a face full of Taehyun.’ 

Taehyun rolled his eyes at him. ‘I was just checking on you, you haven’t spaced out like this in quite a while.’ 

‘I’m just fine.’ Jimin got up. He really wasn’t in the mood for company right now. Or ever again, he thought. He just wasn’t cut out for this. 

Before he could even take a first step, a hand on his arm pulled him back down. He stumbled into a sitting position and turned to glare at Kai. 

‘Let go’, he hissed through clenched teeth. The younger shook his head with determination. 

‘Kai, I’m warning you only once. Let go of me. I don’t want to be around anyone right now, so back off.’ He looked at the other two. ‘All of you. Back off. Now.’ 

He tried to get up again but Kai held onto him tightly. Jimin was about to explode when a second hand grabbed his still free arm and held him in place as well. 

‘Beomgyu’, he growled lowly, struggling to get free. 

What the heck was wrong with those kids now? Couldn’t they just leave him alone for once?

He opened his mouth to give them a piece of his mind but all air was knocked out of him when Taehyun tackled him in a hug. The impact made Jimin lose his balance as Beomgyu and Kai finally let go of his arms. He grabbed onto the other beta for a moment, focused on keeping the two of them from toppling over backwards. 

When he had finally regained his balance, Taehyun’s arms were wrapped around him tightly and his face was buried in Jimin’s neck. 

‘They never meant to hurt you, Ji’, he quietly said into the elder’s ear. ‘They were just being really stupid, they didn’t stop to think about the consequences. You know they would never hurt you on purpose, don’t you?’ 

Jimin’s eyes widened for a second before he tried to shake his head, which wasn’t easy with Taehyun still effectively trapping him in this annoying hug. He clenched his fists, refusing to return the embrace.

‘I’m not hurt’, he muttered. 

‘Yes, you are’, Kai stated matter-of-factly. 

‘And that’s ok’, Beomgyu added softly. ‘We would be hurt, too, if we were in your position.’ 

Jimin huffed in annoyance. ‘I am not hurt, I’m angry. They went against the rules and that’s not ok. Imagine what would happen if everyone just did what they wanted. Things would fall apart quickly. I doubt any of you would want that.’ He frowned when his voice cracked towards the end of the sentence. 

‘We know, Ji. Of course we do. None of us would want that. This is our home, too, after all.’ 

Jimin just wished Taehyun would let go of him already. Instead, he kept humming nonsense into his ear like an annoying mosquito that he just couldn’t swat away. Because the beta was effectively trapping his arms in this stupid hug, he thought grimly.

Jimin growled. ‘Then why would they do something so stupid?! Haven’t I told you over and over again that these rules are what our whole community is based upon? It’s not something the community leaders came up with just for fun, it’s important! I thought you all understood that but apparently I didn’t do a good enough job of teaching you.’ 

‘Yep, definitely hurt’, Kai concluded as he and Beomgyu joined the hug, engulfing Jimin from both sides. He squirmed but he knew there was no escaping the three of them at this point. 

‘Am not’, he mumbled grumpily. 

‘Yeah, you are’, Beomgyu replied. ‘And you have every right to be. They had reasons, but even though they are pretty good ones they still should have talked it over with you before buying those phones.’ 

Jimin sighed. ‘It wouldn’t have changed a thing. I would never have agreed to it.’ 

Taehyun suppressed a snort. 

‘But you would have! Because you are fair. You always consider all options and make your decisions based on what’s best for everyone. You would have been upset about the whole idea and you probably would have shut it down at first but they have valid reasons so you would have agreed eventually.’ 

Jimin snorted. ‘You’re giving me too much credit here. There’s no way I would have agreed to something like this. Ever.’ 

Kai sighed softly. ‘Even if Yoongi-hyung had told you that he wants us to have the phones so we can reach him in case of an emergency when he is touring again? And so that he can call us to check up on us, to make sure we are ok?’ 

Jimin’s eyes widened at that. Kai continued. ‘Even if Yeonjun had told you that he and Soobin want the phones so that they can keep in touch with Yoongi-hyung when he is away because they often worry about their decisions and would like to seek him out for pack advice or reassurance?’ 

There was a small hesitant pause and then Beomgyu added quietly: 

‘Even if Soobin had told you that all of us are constantly worried about something happening to you at your place, which none of us know how to get to? Like falling sick or getting injured? And that we would like to have the phones so you are able to contact us in those cases? So that we can come and help you?’ 

Jimin’s thoughts screeched to a halt. ‘They said… that?’, he whispered. 

Taehyun hummed. ‘They worry for you, Ji. We all do. Those sewers are a maze, we would take ages to find you in there if for some reason you couldn’t make your way back out by yourself. At least like this you would be able to call for help and give us directions. That was their main reason for getting the phones. They care about you. All of us care about you. Don’t you know that, Ji? None of them meant to hurt you, they just got carried away in the moment, trying to make sure you were safe at your place.’ 

Jimin stayed silent while his mind was running a mile a minute. 

They worried for him. 

All of them. 

They cared. 

For him. 

He blinked as long forgotten memories resurfaced. 

A hand on his shoulder, steadying him so he wouldn’t fall as he was learning how to ride a bike.

Care. 

A tired figure never leaving his bedside when he was down with a really nasty fever. 

Worry. 

A small hand holding out a half-eaten cookie to him when he reached for the pack and found it empty. 

Care. 

A frantic scolding after he had disappeared without a word for half a day. 

Worry. 

Extra scoops of food being put on his plate even when they didn’t have much because he was way too thin and needed a healthy diet. 

Care. 

His breath hitched. 

Without realizing it, his arms went up to finally hug Taehyun back, slightly leaning into the younger beta. 

They cared for him. 

Worried for him. 

Him. 

Even though he had always been so distant with the lot. Even though Yoongi-hyung barely knew him. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. The hollow feeling that had accompanied him for the past five years finally seemed to subside as something inside of him snapped into place. Jimin wasn’t sure what had just happened but for the first time in years he didn’t feel empty and alone at all. 

He felt warm. So warm. It had been so long, he had all but forgotten about this feeling. 

Slowly, he let go of Taehyun, reaching first for Beomgyu and then for Kai to hug them as well before finally drawing all three of them into a group hug. 

They stayed like that for a long time, none of them saying a word. Eventually Jimin sighed. 

‘Maybe you were right and I was hurt.’ 

‘I would have been hurt, too’, Kai said. ‘They knew you wouldn’t like it and still went ahead with it. It wasn’t ok to make this decision without you.’ 

‘Especially not since they also got a phone for you, without your agreement’, Beomgyu added, pulling back to look at the elder. ‘You didn’t fail us, Ji. Not in the least. Don’t ever think that. We know the rules, we understand why they are necessary. Yeonjun and Soobin, too. They know all of it very well. You were the best teacher we could have asked for, you know?’ 

Jimin blinked. How in the world did the kids know exactly what was bothering him? And when had they grown up so much? This was such a stark contrast to the sulky kids he had scolded earlier today. 

He freed himself from their hug and stared at them. 

‘Who are you and what have you done to the annoying brats who used to make my life a living hell?’ 

They burst out laughing. 

‘We’re still here’, Taehyun grinned, eyes sparkling. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll be back to normal again tomorrow. Adulting is way too exhausting.’ 

Jimin sighed. ‘I’m not sure whether I should be happy or scared at that prospect.’ He gave them a heartfelt smile. ‘Thank you, though. You did really well, you know?’ 

They beamed at him. ‘Are you coming back up there with us now?’ Kai gestured towards the terrace. 

Jimin shook his head. 

‘Why?’, Taehyun probed. ‘They really didn’t mean it like that and they were so down about all of this when we left them to find you.’ 

They stared at him expectantly. 

‘I know they didn’t mean it. And they do have valid reasons. But the fact remains, they broke the rules. Maybe I was mostly hurt, but that doesn’t mean I’m not also upset about that. Right now, I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to make the situation any worse, it will be bad enough when we go and return those phones tomorrow morning.’ 

Beomgyu frowned. ‘You still want to return them?’ 

Jimin nodded determinedly. ‘I might have agreed to bending the rules for this if they had talked to me. The reasons you told me seem good enough. But even if they meant well, they still went about this without consulting me first and that binds me to the rules. I won’t break them for something that was done behind my back and there is no way I could ever repay Yoongi-hyung for something as expensive as a phone, let alone two.’ He paused before adding ‘Even if I wanted to.’

It wasn’t unexpected, Beomgyu thought as he exchanged a look with Taehyun and Kai. Ji had always been very hard on himself when it came to the rules. They knew for a fact that even Haneul bent them from time to time if the result was for the greater good of the community. Yet, as far as they knew, Ji himself had always abided by them. 

It probably also had something to do with the fact that Junseo and Hajun had been involved in coming up with them. Beomgyu suspected that one of the reasons Ji was so strict with himself was his very own way of thanking his hyungs for everything they had done for him, of paying respect to them. And that was something he could relate to very well. He would do the same for Ji, they all would. Even if some of them had messed up right now.  

Still, this time the beta was blind to the obvious, just as the alphas up at the terrace. He sighed, nodding at the other two. It was time to bring out the big guns. 

‘Ji’, he began, ‘can you just state the rules for us once more?’ 

Jimin looked at him, bewildered. What were they on about now? ‘You just said you know them very well’, he muttered. 

‘Humor us’, Kai smirked. 

‘I don’t see your point but if you insist...’ He sighed, slightly annoyed by their pointless inquiry. ‘Don’t take something without giving something back. Return favors with favors. Don’t leave yourself indebted to anyone, it can cause you trouble in the future.’ 

They nodded in agreement. ‘Who does it apply to?’, Taehyun inquired. 

Jimin frowned. ‘Anyone you make deals with.’ 

‘Exactly!’, Kai exclaimed as they beamed at him with triumphant smiles. 

‘I have no idea why you are so excited about this. You’ve known it all along.’ He shook his head at them. 

‘Ji’, Beomgyu sighed. ‘You don’t have to pay Yoongi-hyung back. He is already paying you back.’ 

Jimin’s eyes widened. 

‘How come none of you all see this?!’, Taehyun wondered. ‘You saved him that night, Ji. Nothing is as valuable as someone’s life, safety or well-being. You taught us that yourself, remember? It was one of the first things you told us, right after explaining the community rules to us.’ He smiled. ‘Ji. You got involved in a situation that didn’t concern you and risked your own life to save a total stranger. Nothing Yoongi-hyung could ever do would be enough to repay you for that, it’s invaluable.’ 

Jimin shook his head. ‘Saving Yoongi-hyung doesn’t count. It wasn’t a deal, there was hardly any time to hash out any details. I just acted before it was too late.’ 

Kai groaned. ‘Ji, you fucking saved him. You know what would have happened if those Vipers had gotten their hands on him. If he had made it out alive, he would have been broken. You of all people should know what they are like, you’ve warned us about them countless times.’ 

Beomgyu nodded determinedly. ‘Maybe it wasn’t a deal but you gave him a second chance at life. And you have been giving him emotional support ever since he came back looking for you. You had no obligation whatsoever to do so. What you have been giving him is far more valuable than anything he could ever buy for you.’

Taehyun put a hand on Jimin’s arm. ‘Don’t take something without giving something back, Ji. You just said so yourself, it’s one of the rules. He can never make up for what you gave him but he can at least try. There is no way you will ever end up being indebted to him unless he ends up saving your life, too.’

It was a loophole, Jimin realized. They were giving him a way out of this predicament, a chance to accept Yoongi’s offer without having to break the rules. Technically Yoongi wasn’t obligated to pay him back for anything. Not at all. Helping him had been a spur of the moment decision Jimin still couldn’t quite understand himself, even now. There had been no time to negotiate anything, all that had counted was making it out of there in one piece. And Yoongi had known nothing about the community or the way things worked around here when he came to see Jimin again, too. 

He was extremely interested in everything, though and he had adapted way better than Jimin would ever have expected, especially considering the lifestyle he was used to. Even more so, he seemed to be genuinely intrigued by their community life. 

Jimin frowned. Yoongi wasn’t obligated to pay him back in any form but hadn’t he stated that he wanted to? Even before he had learned more about the community, that night when he had placed all those trinkets at Jimin’s place? 

‘I will never be able to pay you back for all of this but I will forever try.’ 

Those had been his words, Jimin was pretty sure of that. His frowned as he realized that both he and Yoongi had shared the same values all along. Even before Yoongi had been introduced to the community lifestyle he had tried to make it up to Jimin. Not because he felt obligated but because he wanted to, because he couldn’t just take something without giving something in return as well. 

‘How didn’t I see that?’, he wondered, eliciting snorts from the three kids. 

‘That’s what we’d like to know’, Taehyun sighed. ‘How the heck did none of you see that? It’s so obvious.’ 

‘And they think they are the mature ones in this group’, Kai lamented to Beomgyu who shook his head, suppressing a laugh. ‘Being mature doesn’t equal being smart and perceptive apparently.’ 

‘Yah!’, Jimin exclaimed but there was no bite to it. ‘You brats!’ If there was one thing he hadn’t expected at all, it was for this situation to be solved by those three. They really had grown up a lot. Somehow it made him feel proud. 

‘Thank you. For everything.’ He gave them a fond smile.

‘No need to thank us’, Taehyun grinned. ‘Just come back up there with us and set things right with the alphas. They are probably ready to tear down the place to find us by now, we’ve been gone for quite a while.’ 

Laughing, they made their way back to the terrace.

-----

They really were getting restless by now. When the younger ones had first left they had expected them to be back pretty soon, sure that Jimin would send them their way again. But then half an hour had passed, turning into an hour and then into an hour and a half. 

When the wait had hit the hour mark, each of them had started to make their way over to the steps leading to the riverbank, keeping an eye out for the kids but returning to the table empty-handed every time. 

‘You don’t reckon something has happened to them?’, Yeonjun asked worriedly after returning from his third check-up. 

Yoongi frowned. ‘There’s too many people down there, they should be fine, right?’ 

‘As long as they actually stayed in that area, yeah.’ Soobin’s statement hung in the air between them, expressing what all of them had thought before. What if the kids had left the area and run into trouble elsewhere?

With a sigh, Yoongi shook his head. ‘There’s nothing we can do about it right now. They seemed to know what they were doing earlier, so let’s just trust them. If they aren’t back within the next half hour though we’ll split up and look for them. Ok?’ 

The two younger ones nodded. 

And like that, they had continued to wait, fully expecting the kids to show back up deflated after having been sent off by Jimin. 

‘I swear’, Yeonjun muttered about twenty minutes later, ‘the minute this half hour is up I’m going to raid this place until I find them.’ 

Soobin nodded in agreement. ‘You better not try to stop us, Yoongi-hyung.’ 

Yoongi gave them a wide-eyed look. ‘I don’t think I’ll have to’, he said, gesturing behind them. 

They turned to see what had startled Yoongi so much. The kids had just made their way up the stairs and were now making a beeline towards their table. With Jimin in tow. Kai was clinging to his back as usual but for once the beta didn’t seem to mind. He was smirking at Beomgyu before turning to Taehyun and saying something that made all of them burst out laughing. 

‘How on earth-‘, Soobin whispered to himself, staring at the scene in front of them. 

‘What are they now, dragon tamers?’, Yeonjun sputtered in disbelief. 

Yoongi couldn’t help but snort. ‘I hate to stereotype but it’s probably some weird omega-beta-thing they have going on.’ 

They watched as the group arrived at their table, the younger ones grinning smugly. 

‘We’re back!’, Kai exclaimed. 

‘Yeah’, Yeonjun said flatly, ‘imagine, we have eyes and ears, we noticed.’ 

‘Just making sure’, Taehyun grinned, pulling Jimin forward. ‘Look, we brought you a gift!’ 

Jimin rolled his eyes at him. ‘I very much object. If I were a gift, you definitely wouldn’t be able to afford me.’ 

‘You know I have my ways’, Taehyun winked at him conspiratorially, subtly touching his sleeve and raising an eyebrow at Jimin. 

The elder smirked. ‘Don’t objectify me and it’ll stay that way.’ 

They stared at each other for a while before Taehyun held out his hand. ‘Deal?’ 

Jimin nodded, reaching out and shaking it. ‘Deal’, he reaffirmed, grinning at the younger beta. 

‘They are being weird’, Kai complained to Beomgyu who concluded: ‘Must be a beta thing.’ 

They turned to the three alphas who had been watching on in stunned silence. 

‘Wasn’t there something you wanted to say to Ji?’, Beomgyu asked. 

They glanced at each other. None of them had expected the younger ones to actually bring the beta back, especially not in such a good mood, so they felt somewhat caught off guard. 

Where should they start? 

There was a lot they wanted to say, Soobin thought. He just wasn’t sure where to begin. Ji seemed to be in a good mood but that could probably change at any moment and who knew if the miracle the kids made work on him this time would work a second time.

They had to say something, though, or else the silence would turn awkward. 

‘Ji’, he began carefully, looking at the beta who still seemed to be relaxed. ‘We are really, really sorry. This wasn’t a decision we should have made without you. We got carried away and didn’t really think about how this might look to you.’ 

Yeonjun nodded. ‘We had reasons for this, though. It’s not like we just accepted the offer on a whim. But we should have told you first, involved you in the decision.’ 

‘If anything, it was my fault’, Yoongi added quietly. ‘Please don’t blame them, they were reluctant to agree in the first place but I convinced them anyway. I’m so sorry, Jimin, I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to make sure we had a way of communicating with each other at all times. I should have talked to you about this first.’ 

‘You’re not the only one to blame here, Yoongi-hyung. We should have rejected your offer or at least insisted to talk it over with Ji first. You are still new to all of this, you couldn’t have known’, Soobin said softly, unwilling to let the elder take all the blame. 

He looked up at Jimin who had been staring at them the whole time. ‘Would you listen to our reasons, Ji? You don’t have to change your mind, we just would like you to know.’ 

Jimin shook his head and just like that the little hope they had felt after seeing the beta so calm gave way to dejection.

‘I don’t need to hear that. I know you had valid reasons’, Jimin nodded towards the younger ones. ‘They already told me.’ 

Three heads snapped up to look at the kids who beamed proudly. Jimin sighed. ‘I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. I knew you wouldn’t have done this without good reasons. I should have heard you out.’ 

The last thing they had expected was for the beta to apologize to them. He didn’t have to, they had gone behind his back and broken the rules without even consulting him first. They had been the ones to hurt him, Yeonjun thought. Just what exactly had those kids said to Ji to not only get him to calm down but to also apologize to them? He glanced at Yoongi and Soobin who looked just as surprised as he felt. 

‘You don’t have to apologize for anything’, Yoongi said profoundly. ‘You were just trying to protect your community and we went behind your back, not including you in a decision that involves you and the values you live by. It wasn’t ok at all, we should have seen that, but we let ourselves get carried away in the moment.’ He gave the beta a pleading look. ‘We’ll go and return the phones in the morning and we’d really like for you to come along. Will you?’ 

The two younger alphas nodded their agreement as they turned to look at Jimin with hopeful eyes. Again, Jimin shook his head. They sighed, expressions falling. 

‘Yah’, Jimin said admonishingly, taking in their forlorn expressions. ‘Don’t look so defeated. I’m not going to come along because none of you will be going in the first place.’ 

They blinked at him, unsure what to make of that.

Jimin sighed. ‘Look, I told you, I’m sorry. I should have listened to your reasoning. I get it, I really do. It’s just that even if it wasn’t intentional, being left out like this still hurt.’ 

A guilty look made its way onto their faces and Jimin huffed. ‘Stop beating yourself up about this. What’s done is done. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, your reasons literally are screaming the opposite. I overreacted, too. It’s ok. I’m good. We’re all good.’ 

‘We are?’, Yoongi repeated, unsure just what exactly was happening right now. Jimin turned to him. ‘Yes, we are, Yoongi-hyung.’ 

Hearing the familiar endearment Yoongi felt like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders. For a while he had really feared the beta would be shutting him out for good. Like his mates had, a tiny little voice whispered at the back of his mind.

Jimin moved to sit back on the chair he had abandoned over two hours ago and looked at all three of them. ‘We’re all good’, he repeated, watching as the worry on their faces morphed into small smiles of relief. He really hadn’t meant to make them worry like this. 

‘But- the phones?’, Soobin asked hesitantly, not sure whether it was ok to bring them up like this. 

Jimin nodded. ‘That’s something we have to talk about. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t like what happened there at all. We have our rules for a reason. But you all know that and I’m sure something like this won’t ever happen again without careful consideration and involving all parties concerned, right?’ 

They nodded in agreement. ‘It won’t’, Yeonjun promised for all of them. 

Jimin smiled. ‘Good. Now then’, he motioned towards the three youngest with his head, ‘the three of them pointed something out to me that all of us seem to have missed.’ 

Three heads turned to the younger ones, curiously taking in their smug expressions. 

‘We looked at this the wrong way’, Jimin explained. ‘Especially me. It’s true, there is no way any of us can ever repay such an expensive gift as mobile phones, Yoongi-hyung.’ 

He held up a hand when Yoongi tried to interrupt him. ‘I know you don’t expect us to. And I do trust you. I’m sure you would never hold this against us. That’s not the point. The problem is the core of the matter. We can’t just let our guard down like this, make ourselves more vulnerable to offers like yours in the future. But’, he paused to look at them, making sure they were still following him, ‘in this specific case there’s no need to repay you.’ 

Confusion was evident on their faces as Soobin wondered ‘There isn’t?’ 

Taehyun groaned. ‘Why do none of them see it?’, he muttered under his breath to Kai and Beomgyu who just shook their heads in response, unable to explain it themselves 

‘Maybe being mature means turning blind to the obvious’, Beomgyu mused. 

Jimin grimaced in mock annoyance. ‘They are going to be insufferable about this, I just know it.’ He smiled at the kids before continuing. ‘There’s no need to make it up to you, Yoongi-hyung. Remember when I saved you?’

He looked at Yoongi who nodded. ‘As if I could ever forget that, Jimin-ah. You probably saved my life.’ 

Jimin sighed. ‘I’m not trying to be smug about this or anything but yeah, I probably did. And that’s invaluable, wouldn’t you all agree? You said so yourself, hyung. I will never be able to pay you back for all of this but I will forever try. I believe those were your words.’ 

Yoongi’s eyes widened in realization. He had said those words, back when he had tried to convince Jimin to accept his little gifts, still blissfully ignorant about the community and the way it worked.

Jimin gave him a warm smile. ‘I’m sorry for giving you such a hard time about this, hyung. I have been looking at it the wrong way. You being unaware of our rules and values back then doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to give something in return if you would like to.’ He paused to hold up a hand. ‘Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not saying that I’ll be accepting gifts all the time now, so don’t any of you dare go overboard’, he grinned, shooting them a playfully warning look. ‘But if it is for valid reasons and if we discuss it beforehand, I will consider it. Ok?’ 

They nodded, perplexed at the sudden turn in the conversation. How come the kids had seen such a vital point when all of them had overlooked it? They might have underestimated them, Yeonjun thought wryly. He looked at Jimin. ‘So, the phones-‘, he hesitated. After all, they hadn’t discussed this with Ji beforehand, even though they had good reasons. 

Jimin nodded. ‘- can stay’, he finished for Yeonjun, holding up a hand again to prevent them from interrupting him. ‘Under one condition.’ 

He grinned at their startled expressions before turning to Yoongi-hyung. ‘You better hand me mine right now and teach me how to use it.’ He gestured towards Soobin and Yeonjun with a competitive look in his eyes. ‘I can’t have those two have that advantage over me, after all.’ 

Yoongi bit back a laugh and grabbed the bag that held Jimin’s phone, handing it over to the beta as the lot erupted in cheers.  When Jimin had gotten upset and stormed off, he had tried his best not to show to the other two just how much he feared to have driven Jimin off for good. The thought of losing someone yet again, of not being good enough, had him ready to do whatever it would take to make things up to Jimin, no matter how much he thought the phones were a good idea. Yoongi had been prepared to let go of his opinion on the matter, just like he had done before in arguments with his mates.

But it hadn’t come to that. Instead, Jimin apologized to them. That was something Yoongi would never have expected, the beta hadn’t done anything wrong after all. And then he had made an effort to understand their reasons. Not once had he belittled Yoongi’s arguments, on the contrary, he even said he understood where he was coming from. What had surprised Yoongi the most though was the fact that they had found a way out of this with both sides being able to understand and accept the other’s point of view and with a solution that everyone felt good with.

Yoongi recalled when he had disagreed with his mates in the past. It didn’t happen often but the few times it did, it had always ended up with him apologizing and accepting their position. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember them ever having tried to understand or value his arguments the way Jimin did tonight. And they definitely never had apologized to him after an argument. They just pointed out why their side was better until he finally agreed.

Not that Yoongi had minded much. As long as they were happy, he was fine. Anything to keep the peace, to make them stay together. But after this argument with Jimin he couldn’t help but compare. Fact was, he felt a lot better right now than after any of the arguments he ever had with his mates. It was a slightly unsettling revelation and definitely something he would have to think about more.

Not now, though. Now he would help Jimin getting used to his phone. The beta was sitting next to him eyeing the device with hesitation while Soobin and Yeonjun kept bombarding him with facts and functions they themselves had just learned about mere hours ago. The three younger ones were listening intently while Jimin visibly grew more and more confused.

With a smile Yoongi took the phone from the beta’s hands and told the group to shush and let him do the explaining before beginning to do exactly that.

At some point, Jimin lifted his head to let his gaze wander around the table, taking in the lot huddled together over their own phone and going over the pictures Yeonjun and Soobin had taken during the day. Looking over to Yoongi, he saw the other was already watching him. Meeting his eyes, Jimin couldn't help but smile. He hadn’t felt this content in years.

Chapter Text

Yoongi spent a good hour going over the mobile phone with Jimin. Not that the younger hadn’t caught on quickly, on the contrary. The beta understood the functions almost immediately, claiming that it was similar to the laptops at the library. Which had earned him surprised stares from the lot, but he didn’t elaborate. If anything, he looked slightly annoyed with himself at letting that information slip, so they silently agreed to not ask about it. 

What actually took Yoongi and Jimin so long with the phone was the beta’s newfound fascination with apps. It had led to them browsing the app store and installing and trying out several apps until Jimin finally seemed happy with the options on his phone. Yoongi had been surprised to see several mapping and navigation apps among the final choices but he figured that it made sense considering Jimin’s lifestyle.

When the terrace was about to close, they decided to call it a day, too. After some quick freshening up at the public restroom, Jimin and Yoongi left the others at their bridge hideout and made their way to Jimin’s place. 

It had been a long and tiring day. Somehow Yoongi was more exhausted than after a full day of dance practice. He briefly wondered how Jimin still seemed so fit when the beta swiftly led him through the now almost familiar underground maze but then decided that the younger probably was just used to days like this. 

When they finally reached Jimin’s place, he sighed in relief, making Jimin chuckle. 

‘Tired, hyung?’ 

He nodded. ‘I have no idea how you do that every day.’ 

Jimin laughed. ‘You get used to it after a while. It’s really not that bad.’ He took in the alpha’s tired expression and smiled. ‘Let’s get ready for bed, hyung. You look like death warmed over.’ 

Yoongi didn’t even have the energy to counter the comment. He quickly changed into the sleep wear he had brought from the dorm the night before and then all but fell onto the mattress, closing his eyes with a soft sigh when he was finally lying down. 

He really just wanted to sleep. Not only had he been walking what felt like miles today, there had also been the emotionally exhausting episodes, first with the kids’ fight and then the one with Jimin over the phones. All he wanted to do now was to curl up on the mattress next to said beta and sleep.

A blanket was placed over him and he opened his eyes with difficulty. 

‘You’ll get cold otherwise, hyung’, Jimin mumbled as he settled down next to Yoongi with his own blanket. 

‘Mhm’, Yoongi hummed in agreement, too tired to form any words. 

Jimin suppressed a laugh as he turned off the flashlight. ‘You’re cute when you’re so tired’, he whispered so quietly that Yoongi couldn’t hear it. He scooted a bit closer to the elder, craving his warmth. Half asleep, Yoongi turned over and draped an arm over the beta, drawing him closer and burrowing his face in his hair. 

‘ ‘s ok?’, he slurred. 

‘It’s perfect’, Jimin replied softly, snuggling against the alpha’s chest. 

How he had missed being hugged like this at night, he thought wistfully. Fleetingly he wished that it could stay like this forever but then reality settled in again. 

Of course it wouldn’t. Yoongi was mated, after all. He had a pack to return to, even though things between them currently seemed a bit rocky. They would work it out for sure. And maybe that was for the better. Jimin really couldn’t afford to get attached to someone. He had things to do. A mission to fulfill. Yoongi had a pack to return to, a career waiting for him. Jimin wasn’t a fool, he was well aware that things would change and probably very soon. And still - for now, maybe even just for tonight, he would allow himself the comfort of Yoongi’s warm and reassuring presence. Maybe it was selfish and stupid. It definitely would hurt more when Yoongi would go back home. But for a little while longer he wanted to enjoy the feeling of not being alone.

‘Sweet dreams, Yoongi-hyung’, he whispered, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

-----

They spent the next day more or less like the one before. Jimin hadn’t really expected Yoongi to stick around all day. Didn’t the idol have work to do? But Yoongi had just laughed when he had asked him about that. 

‘I have only studio time scheduled for the rest of this week and I am already done with my actual work tasks. Anything I’d do there now would fall under my free time. That’s the good thing about being between comebacks, schedules are way more flexible.’ He smiled at Jimin. ‘Right now I’d much rather spend my free time with you.’ 

A radiant smile spread on Jimin’s face at that and once again Yoongi couldn’t help but admire the beta’s beauty. Shaking his head at himself, he smiled back. ‘I believe we have errands to run. Lead the way?’ 

Jimin grinned and grabbed his hand, leading him back outside. They spent the better half of the morning running errands Jimin had taken on the day before. At lunchtime, Jimin accepted Yoongi’s invitation, much to the elder's surprise and delight. 

The afternoon was spent at the community, where Yoongi helped Jimin and Haneul improve the structure of some of the cardboard homes. It was an interesting but tedious task, Yoongi discovered. There were a lot of techniques involved and it took him a while to get the hang of it, but he enjoyed it greatly. The lot came by halfway through the afternoon and helped as well. 

Yoongi silently marveled at the teamwork they all had. They barely spoke a word about their tasks, joking around and effortlessly helping each other out whenever it was needed. He wondered if with enough practice he could reach that point as well. 

When they finished their work, the sun had begun to set. Yoongi felt weirdly accomplished and proud. It might not have been easy but it had been fun to work on the homes with everyone and it was fulfilling to see the improvements they had made. He definitely wouldn’t mind doing it again.

‘Hyung?’ He turned to Beomgyu, who was looking at him expectantly. Had he missed something? 

‘I’m sorry, I was lost in thought’, he explained. 

Beomgyu nodded. ‘No worries, hyung. We were just thinking of getting kimbap for dinner and eat it at the park. Would you be ok with that?’ 

He would, Yoongi thought. If only he could. But it was getting late and as much as he dreaded it, there was something he had to do. He couldn’t hide forever, after all. 

‘Hyung?’, Jimin prompted, sounding slightly worried. 

Yoongi sighed. ‘I’d really love nothing more than to eat with all of you, but I have to go home and talk to my mates.’ 

He wasn’t surprised to see disappointment on the kids’ faces. What he hadn’t expected, though, was the forlorn look on Jimin’s face. 

Yoongi thought of the younger’s place, imagined Jimin having to spend the night alone there like he used to for the past five years and his heart broke for him. He must be so lonely down there, he realized. 

Forcing a smile, he turned to the kids. ‘I’ll come and see you all tomorrow, though, I promise. We can meet for lunch at the park, hm?’ They brightened at that, nodding eagerly in agreement. 

He looked at Jimin. ‘Can I leave my backpack at your place for now?’ Maybe Jimin would feel a bit better with his stuff around. Not that it was much. Just the backpack, a change of clothes and a sleepshirt essentially. But still, it was better than nothing, he supposed. A silent promise that he wouldn’t just disappear on the beta.

Jimin seemed to relax slightly at the prospect of Yoongi leaving his stuff with him. 

‘Of course, hyung’, he nodded, then hesitated before continuing. ‘Hyung… Don’t take shit from them, ok? You are dealing with a lot right now and you’re trying your best. The way they’ve been treating you these past few days really isn’t ok, you know? Don’t let them talk you into feeling guilty.’ 

‘Yeah, Yoongi-hyung’, Soobin agreed. ‘We don’t know what exactly is going on, but what they pulled the other day was pretty mean. They owe you an apology, not the other way around, ok?’ 

He blinked, surprised at how much all six of them seemed to care for him. He was a total stranger to them, yet they had welcomed him with open arms, sharing the little they had with him, supporting him and worrying for him. A warm feeling engulfed him and the anxiety he had felt at the thought of having to go home and face his mates disappeared. This time, his smile was genuine. 

‘Thank you. I will remember that’, he promised. 

‘Hyung’, Jimin said again, just when Yoongi was about to leave. The beta held up his phone. ‘I really want this to work out for you and your mates but-‘, he sighed and looked into Yoongi’s eyes. ‘Since we have these phones now. Call. If anything goes wrong. If you need someone to talk to. Call me. Call us.’ 

Yoongi nodded. ‘I will. Thank you, Jimin-ah.’

-----

Where the pack had been surprisingly calm on Friday, they were growing more and more restless and irritated on Saturday. They had expected Yoongi to be back home by the time they woke up, but once again they had been wrong. Trying his phone, they were even less pleased to notice that it was still turned off. 

‘What the heck is his problem?’, Jungkook muttered under his breath. ‘He promised to never turn it off.’ 

Breakfast had been a stormy affair, none of them happy about the continued absence of their oldest alpha. The morning dragged on and when lunchtime came around and there was still no sign of Yoongi nor a way to reach out to him, they couldn’t hide their annoyance anymore. 

Just who did Yoongi think he was? 

First he told them to be home and then didn’t wait for them, apparently upset because for once they had been late to return. Then he turned off his phone after he had promised them to always keep it on and now he also apparently had decided to ghost them? 

Enough was enough. 

They had tried to be patient with him for weeks, had taken all his rejections and blow offs in stride, trying to reach out to him and offering him support only to be pushed away again and again and again. Who was he to be mad at them over one night of coming home late? They were allowed some fun time, too, after all. And they had desperately needed it because Yoongi’s own standoffish behavior had put a huge strain on them. 

Yet, despite everything they had done for him, Yoongi decided to break their promise by turning off his phone? It was uncalled for and hurtful and they decided that they wouldn’t just let this behavior slide. Speculating that at some point the alpha would have to return back to the dorm, they settled in the living room once again, stoically awaiting his return.

-----

Yoongi’s determination began to fade the closer he got to their apartment complex. Would they even be there? What should he say to them? He knew he had to try to open up to them more, to let them know that he was still struggling to come to terms with what happened that night, even if he couldn’t tell them all the details. Jimin was right, they needed to know that. They had no idea what they were dealing with after all. 

Still, they had been so cold and distant lately and he didn’t have the slightest clue as to why. Had he done something wrong? Were they shutting him out because of his inability to communicate his issues? Or had they really lost all interest in him? 

Yoongi’s stomach lurched. That was a possibility he really didn’t want to think about. Despite everything that had gone wrong between them recently he still loved them. So much. 

And he missed them. 

He missed Namjoon’s clumsiness, Jin’s scoldings, Hobi’s happy outbursts, Tae’s weirdness and Jungkook’s mischief. He missed hugging them, cuddling with them, kissing them. And talking to them, listening to their playful banter, sitting in silence with them. But most of all, he missed spending the nights in their pack bed with them.

Yoongi sighed deeply as he made his way into the building and towards their apartment. He missed all of it. So much so that it actually hurt to just think of it. Standing in front of their apartment door he silently prayed for everything to turn out alright. He wanted nothing more than his mates back. 

Here goes nothing, he thought. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the door and stepped into their dorm.

-----

He saw them almost immediately. They were sitting in the living room, Namjoon, Hoseok and Jin on their sofa and Jungkook and Taehyung on the loveseat. All of them were seated so that they could easily see the entrance through the open doorway. 

Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks for a few seconds at the sight of his mates staring daggers at him. The silence that engulfed them was eerie. Something felt off. What was their problem now? 

He felt his own irritation about their behavior these past few days rise to the surface and tried hard to suppress it. Now wasn’t the time to lose control. 

Stepping forward and into the living room, he took in his mates one by one. It was almost as if they had been waiting for him, even though they couldn’t have known when exactly he would return home. They stared at him with cold expressions. It irritated Yoongi to see how they seemed so in tune with each other, all giving off the same, angry vibes. 

Well, he thought bitterly, it wasn’t as though he didn’t have reason to be upset himself. 

‘What?’, he pressed out, voice void of any emotion. 

‘Where have you been?’, Jin demanded to know. 

Anger flared through Yoongi at the question. Who did they think they were, asking him this? Didn’t they have some explaining to do themselves? 

He frowned at them. ‘Where have you been? I was worried sick and you didn’t even think it was necessary to tell me that you are ok?’ 

His mates exchanged a glance and stayed silent. Yoongi gave them a disbelieving look. 

‘Really now? You make me worry to the point where I am ready to call the police and then don’t even think I deserve an explanation? What have I even done for you to treat me the way you have these past few days?’ 

Again, they shared a look before Namjoon sighed. ‘We were at the beach.’ 

Yoongi blinked. 

They were at the beach. 

The beach. 

His mind was reeling with this new information. So they had taken the time to coordinate their schedules, to get a day off together and to make a daytrip, to have a pack day, but they hadn’t considered inviting him to come along? And on top of that they hadn’t even found it important to let him know they were ok when he had been worrying about them? 

He stared at his mates who were staring right back at him, almost as if they were daring him to fight them on this. There wasn’t even a hint of regret in their expressions. Their message was loud and clear, wasn’t it? 

First, they had stopped answering his messages, breaking their promise to him. Then they went to have a pack day without him. If they didn’t want him anymore, why didn’t they just say it? This was just cruel and he had no idea how to deal with it. It hurt so fucking much. 

He bit his lower lip hard, trying to keep the tears at bay. What did they even want from him now? An apology for having left after how they had treated him on Thursday night? Would that make it alright again? It probably would, he thought bitterly. Him apologizing had always made any argument they had better, no matter whether he had actually been in the wrong or not.

The words Jimin and Soobin had said to him before he left to go home floated through his mind. 

‘They owe you an apology, not the other way round.’ 

They were right, Yoongi thought acridly. His mates owed him an apology for making him worry like that. For treating him the way they did. He certainly wasn’t without blame in this situation, he had pushed them away and left them in the dark about what was going on with him. But they had organized a pack day without him and left him worrying for them on purpose. Nothing he had done justified an action like that. Whatever had led his mates to do this, it wasn’t ok. They should have told him whatever it was that got them upset with him instead of acting it out on him like that. They should just tell him if they didn’t want him anymore. 

Pain surged through him at the mere thought of losing them, mixing with the irritation of having been left out and ignored. 

‘You were at the beach’, he repeated flatly. ‘And you couldn’t have told me?’

You couldn’t have asked me to come along? he silently added. 

It fucking hurt. 

Tears were brimming in his eyes as he watched his mates exchange another glance and stay silent. They didn’t even apologize for leaving him out. For making him worry. Didn’t he at least deserve this much?

The thought had anger began bubbling up inside of him. Just who was he to them anyway? 

Jin cleared his throat. ‘Now that you know, care to tell us where YOU have been?’

It sounded so cold, Yoongi thought. Again, he looked at his pack members, taking in their steely expressions, the anger evident on their faces. Did they even deserve to know? They hadn’t thought it important to include him on their pack day, who was he to clue them in on the only comfortable, the only good thing he still had at this point? He wouldn’t let them destroy this for him, too. 

‘I needed some time away to think. I don’t think you need to know more.’ 

They exchanged another look. ‘And why is that?`, Namjoon asked, raising an eyebrow at him. 

‘It doesn’t concern you.’ 

Hoseok guffawed. ‘It doesn’t concern us? In case you have forgotten, Yoongi, we are your mates. It does concern us when you suddenly disappear without telling us about your whereabouts.’ 

Oh, the irony of this, Yoongi thought. Like they hadn’t disappeared on him without a word first. He was not going to just let that one go. 

‘So it is ok for you all to disappear without a word and leave me worried to the point where I want to call the police but when I disappear and even tell you that I would leave and that you shouldn’t look for me, that’s wrong? Care to explain the fucking hypocrisy behind your reasoning?’, he spat, staring at them wildly. 

‘Yoongi’, Taehyung said and Yoongi did not miss the lack of honorifics. Again. Hoseok hadn’t used any either. Not that he usually minded much but this was different. Come to think of it, they often dropped honorifics when they argued with him, didn’t they? Who did they think they were, patronizing him like this? 

‘Since when am I not your hyung anymore, Taehyung? Did I miss something here?’ Taehyung flinched, eyes widening at Yoongi’s venomous tone. 

Yoongi stared at his mates, taking them in one by one. In the past, at this point of their argument, he would probably have caved and apologized already to keep peace between them. But that wasn’t ok, was it? He knew he was at fault, too, for pushing them away without explanation. And he would definitely apologize for that. But didn’t his own hurt feelings deserve to be acknowledged, too? How come his mates never seemed to care for how he felt whenever there was an argument? They had hurt him so fucking much and learning about their pack day had just added to that as well. No, he decided, he wouldn’t take shit from them anymore. Enough was enough.

‘I have no idea what your problem with me is right now but I sure as hell am done trying to figure it out. Spill it now or leave me the fuck alone.’ 

Silence fell over them as his mates exchanged more glances. This wasn’t going at all as they had hoped, Yoongi could tell that much. In any other situation it might have been hilarious but considering the circumstances it just made Yoongi sad and angry that they apparently thought they could manipulate him like this. 

Was this how they saw him? As someone weak and easily controlled? Because fuck it, he was not. He was  not their puppet on a string, he had a mind of his own. What was he even to them? Had they only toyed with him all this time? 

No, he definitely wouldn’t take their shitty behavior any longer. He glared at them icily. ‘You got nothing to say? Suit yourselves. I’ll see you when I see you.’ 

He turned and began to walk out of the room. 

‘Yoongi’, Jin’s voice stopped him. 

Figured that the one to call out to him would be the one person in the room who wouldn’t have to use a honorific for him, he thought bitterly. How well they had avoided that issue. Faintly he noticed that the elder hadn’t used his usual Yoongi-yah either. A thought he shoved to the back of his mind quickly to spare himself from being hurt even more.

He didn’t even bother to turn around. ‘What?’ 

There was a beat of silence. It felt loaded. 

‘You turned off your phone.’ 

Yoongi saw red. 

He turned off his phone? 

That was their fucking issue right now? 

He whirled around, furious. 

‘And what if I did?!’, he asked, voice low and dangerous. 

‘You promised’, Jungkook said, his tone accusing. ‘Remember? You promised us to never turn it off.’ 

Yoongi laughed. It was an unpleasant laugh, loud and bitter and hollow and all of his mates visibly flinched at the unfamiliar sound. 

‘Do I remember?’ he asked, laughing again. ‘Do I REMEMBER?!? Shouldn’t the question be do YOU remember?’ 

They stared at him, uncomprehending. He gave them a cold look. 

‘It was YOU who turned their backs on me first! Didn’t YOU promise me to always be there when I needed you? Didn’t YOU promise to never turn off your phones so I could always reach you? Didn’t YOU promise that you would always answer me, no matter how trivial the message was? Yet YOU were the ones who left me on read again and again without even telling me what I had done for you to act that way!’ 

He watched as their eyes grew wider, realizing what he was talking about. 

‘YOU promised to be there for me! How stupid of me to take your word for it, huh? To think that you actually cared about me. To trust you. To believe in you. To LOVE you.’ 

Each sentence hurt like a knife but he wasn’t going to stop now. This was his pain and it had been inflicted by them. He would make sure they knew that. He was tired of being toyed around with. 

‘How dare you be angry at me for turning off my phone after you ignored all of my messages, even when I was sitting right in this very room, worried sick that something might have happened to you? Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Did you forget about our pack bond?! I felt your happiness when I tapped into it! You were out there having a FUCKING GOOD TIME and couldn’t even be bothered to calm my nerves when I was about ready to call for the police! You were out there, turning your backs on me, having a pack day without me, enjoying your lives to the fullest while I was right here, struggling to find my footing after what has happened, hoping to make things right and blaming myself for not being able to fully open up to you. I was fucking blaming myself when YOU were the ones who turned their backs on me first!’ 

He stared daggers at them. They had turned deathly pale at his words. Jungkook was shaking violently and tears were spilling from Taehyung’s eyes. Yoongi really couldn’t care less at this point. 

‘How dare you hold me responsible for not upholding my side of the promise when YOU were the ones who broke it first?!?’ 

His voice cracked. 

‘You fucking PROMISED me and you broke our promise first!’, he yelled, chest heaving as fury began mingling with unbearable pain. 

How had it come to this? 

‘You promised’, he repeated, anger finally giving way to all the pain he had bottled up until now. Yoongi shook his head as he looked away. 

‘You promised’, he whispered brokenly. 

Silence engulfed them as his mates first stared at him and then exchanged glances with each other. 

Yoongi’s breath was becoming more ragged by the minute, the pain kept wrecking through his body in huge waves. He was tempted to just give in and let himself drown in those uncontrollable currents. Everything was just too much. He wished he could just erase that freaking night from weeks ago from their lives. His mind went into overdrive, picturing his mates at their beach day, having the best of times without him before mixing in images of the assault, having him recall the hands roaming over his body, the hot breath on his neck, the unwanted kisses –

‘Yoongi’, he heard Jin whisper and a hand touched his shoulder. He froze for a second before jerking away violently. 

‘DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!’, he yelled, startling everyone. He drew in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. ‘Don’t touch me’, he repeated in a whisper, backing away further until his back hit a wall.

The silence that followed was unbearable. Taehyung had broken down completely when Yoongi yelled at Jin to not touch him and was full-on sobbing now. Hoseok had moved over to him and Jungkook, trying to calm down the youngest two. Namjoon was holding Jin, who was still in shock over Yoongi’s unexpected outburst. 

None of them dared to approach Yoongi after what had just happened with Jin. Nobody knew what to say, either. And so they stayed silent, focusing on calming each other down. 

Yoongi looked on as Hoseok tried to calm Jungkook and Tae, watched as Namjoon did his best to console Jin. Had he ever had a real place in this pack? At this point, it certainly didn’t look like it. What had he even been to them when they so obviously were fine without him? 

The pain in his chest was becoming unbearable. He couldn’t stay here, he decided. With shaking hands, he took out his phone and pulled up Jimin’s contact. It rang only once before the younger picked up. Almost as if he had been waiting for Yoongi to call him. Somehow that thought felt reassuring. 

‘Hyung?’, Jimin asked. Yoongi took in a shaky breath and opened his mouth to speak but instead a choked sob escaped him. His mates turned to look at him, wide-eyed. Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut. 

‘Hyung, what’s going on? Are you alright?’, Jimin urged. He could hear the lot in the background, asking Jimin what was happening. Warmth spread through him at the thought that despite everything he wasn’t alone. 

He whimpered.

‘Hyung, do you want me to come and pick you up?’ Yoongi nodded before realizing that Jimin couldn’t see him. 

‘P-please’, he whispered. 

‘Send me your location, Yoongi-hyung. Do you think you can do that?’ 

It wasn’t easy with the way his hands were shaking, but somehow Yoongi managed to do as Jimin asked. Pressing the phone back to his ear, he waited. 

‘I got it, hyung. I’m on my way.’ There was a slight pause. ‘Do you want me to stay on the line with you?’ 

Yoongi glanced at his mates who were still staring at him, following the phone call with incredulous expressions. What they got from it, Yoongi wasn’t sure. He had barely said a word after all. 

‘Hyung?’, Jimin asked again, worry making its way into his voice. 

Yoongi shook his head. ‘It’s fine’, he whispered. 

Jimin sighed softly. ‘Ok, hyung. If you are sure. I’ll be a bit faster if we don’t talk. Do you want me to call you when I arrive?’ 

Yoongi hummed in agreement. 

‘I’ll take maybe another 20 minutes. Do you think you can pack yourself a bag with some stuff you might need?’ 

Now that was something he could do, Yoongi thought, grateful to have something to do. Anything was better than being in this room with his mates at this point. 

‘Ok’, he said, voice cracking dangerously. 

‘That’s great, hyung. You’re doing really well. Go pack your bag and I’ll be there in no time, ok?’ 

Yoongi managed a choked ‘Thank you’ before hanging up. How he wished Jimin was here already to take him away from this scene.

He looked at his pack. The people whom he had trusted more than anything. Had they always been like this? Was he never more than a toy to them, someone they could control and manipulate? Had they ever really loved him? 

He took in the way they naturally gravitated towards each other, comforted each other. It didn’t even look as though there was a spot left for him. Had there ever even been a real spot for him? 

They were staring at him, eyes blown wide. Yoongi had said what he needed to say. He had no more words. It would be their turn now but they just stayed silent. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. With a dejected shake of his head, he went to his room to pack a bag, just like Jimin had suggested.

-----

The five left behind in the living room stayed silent for several more minutes. How had they messed up this badly? All they had wanted was for Yoongi to return to them but now he seemed more unreachable than ever before. 

He had sounded so hurt, Namjoon thought. So pained. How hadn’t they even realized that by ignoring him they were breaking the promise they had given him? Yoongi had taken this promise so serious and they had just discarded it like it was nothing. 

He pictured Yoongi sending them his messages, waiting for something, anything in return and getting nothing. 

Again and again and again. 

No wonder he didn’t trust them anymore, no wonder he doubted them. 

Their bond was overflowing with emotions right now, Yoongi’s immense pain and sorrow being the most present. But below that, Namjoon could feel remorse, regret, guilt and shame growing stronger with each passing minute. 

How could they have been so stupid? 

He looked at his mates and didn’t know what to say. Although Taehyung had calmed down, both he and Jungkook were clinging onto Hoseok as though there was no tomorrow. Jin was still wrapped in Namjoon’s arms but seemed to have composed himself again, at least somewhat. All of them were deathly pale. 

‘At least-‘, Jungkook choked out, ‘at least he’s still here.’ 

It was something, Namjoon thought. 

‘We really fucked up, didn’t we?’, Hoseok asked shakily. ‘How can we ever fix this?’ 

They fell silent again. 

Was there even a way to fix this? 

Namjoon really wasn’t sure but he knew that they would try everything they could.

-----

The sound of a door opening and closing ripped them out of their thoughts.

Yoongi. 

They turned their heads towards the hallway. Yoongi walked past, head low, not even sparing them a glance. There was a small travel bag in his right hand. They stared at each other in shock for a moment before scrambling up to follow him. 

‘Hyung, please wait’, Namjoon called out to him. 

Yoongi didn’t stop or turn around when he shook his head, opening the apartment door. 

‘Please, Yoongi-hyung’, Jungkook pleaded, voice shaky, ‘don’t leave.’ 

Yoongi didn’t even acknowledge them, continuing to make his way outside. 

Sharing a quick glance, they decided to follow him. There had to be something they could do. Something that would make Yoongi change his mind. 

‘Yoongi-yah, please’, Seokjin’s voice was low and full of regret. ‘Talk to us.’ 

And maybe Yoongi would have. Maybe he would have turned around if they had said what he wanted to hear so badly. But they didn’t and he wasn’t going to risk getting hurt even more. 

Ignoring their pleas he exited the building, his mates hot on his heels. He sighed in relief when he saw Jimin and the kids waiting on the sidewalk. Quickly he made his way over to them. 

‘Hyung! Please, hyung, please, please don’t leave’, Taehyung was sobbing again. 

Yoongi sighed. What a pity party they all were. If only they had told him that they were sorry, that they still loved him. If only they had told him what had led them to treat him that way. But they hadn’t. Not even after he had broken down in front of them. He only got a reaction now that he was leaving. Now he suddenly was their hyung again. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by him. 

How selfish, he thought bitterly. Only now that he was leaving they were willing to jump into action. None of them had reached out to him while he was still in his room, packing his bag. They had chosen to comfort each other even though his pain couldn’t have gone unnoticed by them. Did he really mean so little to them?

He reached the sidewalk and Jimin immediately pulled him into a tight embrace. He buried his face in the beta’s neck. 

Someone took his bag from him. A hand squeezed his shoulder, another carded through his hair. 

He bit back a sob. 

‘It’s alright, hyung. We’ve got you’, he heard Jimin say. 

Belatedly he noticed that the voices behind him had fallen silent. He didn’t want to look, he wasn’t going to give them that satisfaction. 

‘Are they still there?’, he whispered. 

‘Standing right at the property gates, staring at us’, Yeonjun stated in a low voice, looking over and narrowing his eyes at the people who so obviously had hurt his hyung. 

Yoongi shuddered. ‘Let’s just go. Please.’ 

Jimin let go of him and circled an arm around his waist instead, still pulling him close. He leaned into the beta’s side. 

Taehyun latched onto Yoongi’s free side, holding on to the elder’s arm and squeezing it reassuringly. 

Soobin put an arm around Beomgyu’s shoulder, as he turned them around to leave as well. 

Grabbing Kai’s hand, Yeonjun shot one last, lingering look at the figures watching them, then threw Yoongi’s bag over his shoulder and turned to leave. 

Slowly, they made their way back towards the river.

-----

They stared at the scene unfolding in front of them in utter disbelief. Any hope of making Yoongi change his mind, of getting him to stay, had left them the moment they had seen him being approached by the six figures on the sidewalk. 

Who were these people? How did Yoongi know them? As far as they knew, their mate didn’t have any close friends outside of their pack.

They watched in silence as one of them immediately pulled Yoongi into an embrace, the others running hands over his arms and back and even through his hair in comforting gestures. It hurt to watch these strangers comforting their mate when that was what they themselves were yearning to do so much. 

They could feel calm settle over Yoongi through their bond, fondness beginning to override the immense pain. 

It was unsettling to say the least. How could those people have this effect on their mate? Just who were they? Was this another pack? Was Yoongi going to leave for good? Were they going to be replaced? 

One of the figures, the one who had taken Yoongi’s bag from him the moment he had reached them, kept staring back at them. It was too dark to really make out anything more than silhouettes but it felt like they were glaring at them. It made the pack shudder slightly. 

The figure hugging Yoongi slowly released him but held him close by his waist. A bout of jealousy rushed through their bond as they saw Yoongi relax and lean into the hold. Another figure sidled up to Yoongi as well, latching onto his arm as they slowly turned to leave. The other four people paired up behind them. 

They all looked so in tune with each other, so close to each other. Just how long had Yoongi known these people to be that comfortable around them? What exactly had they missed? 

The one who had been staring at them gave them one last look before grabbing the hand of the one standing closest and turning to follow the rest of the group.

Nobody said a word. 

They stared after the retreating group, silently willing for Yoongi to turn around for one last look. 

He never did.

Chapter Text

They walked back to the river in silence and Yoongi was extremely grateful for that. He was barely holding himself together as it was and any attempt at conversation would probably have led to him breaking down right then and there. At this point the only thing that was still grounding him was Jimin's arm around his waist. Somehow the beta's presence was giving him the strength to pull through - at least for now. 

With a sigh he leaned more into Jimin's side, craving the reassuring warmth that radiated from the beta. Immediately, the arm around his waist tightened its grip on him, squeezing him lightly and drawing him as close as possible while still being able to keep walking. 

He felt Jimin glance at him but didn't have the energy to look up and make eye contact. Instead he lightly rested his head on the other's shoulder and closed his eyes for a brief moment. 

Immediately, images of his mates floated in front of his inner eye, their cold and disapproving stares boring into Yoongi. With a start, he opened his eyes again, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

How had it come to this? 

Shaking his head, he tried to focus on the arm around his waist again. It wouldn’t do him any good if he were to spiral now. A second arm circled his waist from his other side, settling right below Jimin’s, adding to the warmth that was already there, applying more grounding pressure. Taehyun, Yoongi’s hazy mind supplied. He felt himself relax slightly, some of his anxiety ebbing away, being swallowed by the comfort of being held like this. 

They weren’t far from the river now. Weren’t far from Jimin’s place. His safe place. He wasn’t sure when it had become this but there was no denying that it was exactly that. A place where he could be himself, without having to fear being judged. A place where he could let go, knowing someone was there to hold him close and help him through it. A place where he was understood. A place where he wasn’t left behind. 

Every fiber of Yoongi’s body longed to be at his safe place right now, safely tucked away under a blanket on the mattress, nestled into Jimin’s arms, hiding away from the cruel reality his life had suddenly become. If he could just make it there, he would end up being ok.

With renewed determination, Yoongi picked up his pace, focusing on the support of the two arms encircling his waist, eager to get to the river and finally hide himself away from the world.

-----

Jimin shared a look with Taehyun. Yoongi was trying hard to not lose his composure but they could both feel that he was fighting a losing battle. When the younger beta rose an eyebrow in question, Jimin shook his head. Talking would probably be the last straw for Yoongi right now and he could tell that the elder was desperately trying to keep himself from breaking down before they reached their destination. 

He tried to convey this to Taehyun with a look, not surprised when the younger caught on almost immediately and opted to hold the alpha close as well instead. Which was apparently the right thing to do because after a few seconds they felt Yoongi straightening up a bit, walking more steadily, increasing his speed. There seemed to be some newfound determination in his movements now and Jimin couldn’t help but wonder what exactly had caused this. 

Whatever it was, they were moving faster suddenly, crossing the bridge in almost no time and making their way down towards the river. There was something desperate about their movements now and Jimin turned his head slightly to take a look at Yoongi. 

The alpha seemed to be in a bit of a daze, eyes staring straight ahead into the distance, breath becoming more and more shallow. This wasn’t good, Jimin thought to himself, exchanging another worried glance with Taehyun. It looked like Yoongi’s determination to get to Jimin’s place had not only fueled his movements but also rushed his spiraling. Although by now they were only one more bridge away from their destination, Jimin wasn’t sure that they would make it. He squeezed Yoongi’s waist reassuringly, Taehyun mirroring him almost immediately but the elder didn’t react to it at all. 

Out of the corner of his eyes Jimin saw Yeonjun coming up to his side, giving Yoongi a concerned look before shaking his head at Jimin and pointing at a bench a little further ahead. He nodded. At this rate, there was no way they would make it to his place. They had to do something now. Much as Jimin would have preferred to offer the elder the comfort of the place he obviously wanted to reach so badly, it just wasn’t an option right now. 

Panic attacks were something they all could relate to, each of them had had their share of those. Over the years, they developed a kind of pattern when dealing with them. That was what they were following now, hoping that it would work for Yoongi as well. 

Gently, they steered him towards the bench, guiding him to sit down, Taehyun and Yeonjun taking a seat on either side of him and Jimin kneeling in front of him. The moment Yoongi realized he wasn’t moving anymore, he jolted and tried to get up, only to be stopped by Yeonjun’s and Taehyun’s hands on his arms and Jimin’s on his knees. 

Beomgyu and Kai settled down on the ground close to Jimin and softly began humming a soothing tune. Casting a quick look around, Jimin saw Soobin make his way up towards the street, probably on his way to a nearby store or vendor.  

He turned his attention back to Yoongi, who was still struggling slightly in the other two’s hold, trying to get up again. He brought his right hand up to cup the elder’s cheek, slowly turning his head to make him meet his eyes. Jimin wasn’t at all sure if Yoongi could actually see him at this point, it was as if he was looking right through him. He sighed softly, getting up on his knees and bringing his face closer to Yoongi’s until their foreheads were touching. 

‘It’s alright, Yoongi-hyung’, he whispered. ‘We’ll go there soon, this is just a little break, ok?’ 

Yoongi didn’t react. By now his breathing was erratic, shallow gasps leaving him almost breathless. His struggle against the hold had ceased but he seemed very far away. 

‘Yoongi’, Jimin repeated a bit more sternly, dropping the honorific to make it sound more urgent. 

‘Yoongi, focus on me. Can you do that? Look at me.’ 

The humming around them picked up a bit as Taehyun and Yeonjun joined in but Yoongi was still not focusing on any of them. They glanced at each other. This one was pretty bad. What in the world had happened back at that apartment? 

Soobin returned with a bottle of water in his left and cloth in his right hand. Taking in the scene in front of him, he opened the bottle and drenched the piece of fabric with water before gently putting it on Yoongi’s neck. The elder startled at the cold wetness, eyes snapping into focus a bit. 

‘Yoongi’, Jimin repeated urgently and this time Yoongi did look at him. 

‘There you are’, Jimin smiled. ‘You’re going to be just fine, Yoongi-hyung. But I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that, hyung?’ 

Yoongi didn’t react for a moment, but then his right hand slowly moved to grab Jimin’s left, which was still putting steady pressure on his knee, and squeezed it. It was a barely noticeable squeeze but it was there and Jimin knew to take it as affirmation to his question. Giving Yoongi another reassuring smile, he slowly began to guide him through some breathing exercises. 

The soothing humming around them never ceased.

-----

Something inside of Yoongi had snapped. He wasn’t sure how or when or why it had happened. All he knew was that he hadn’t seen it coming. One moment he had felt confident to be able to make it to Jimin’s place, reveling in the feeling of support the arms around his waist supplied and the next moment he just lost focus. His bond was flooded with emotions. Not only his own overbearing pain but also a desperate mix of desperation, sadness, guilt, confusion and, worst of all, anger from his mates washed over him in waves that threatened to crush him anytime now. It felt like an emotional molotov cocktail, ready to blow up without warning and take him away with it and the worst of all was that although he knew it was coming, there was nothing he could do about it. Yoongi just wanted it to stop.

Helplessly he kept stumbling forward, trying to keep his composure, to not let those damned images get to him before he was at his safe place. 

Flashbacks of the evening kept replaying in his head, his mates’ cold expressions staring at him, their eyes blaming and accusing him. Images of Hobi calming down Tae and Jungkook; of Jin seeking comfort in Namjoon were flickering in front of his inner eye and he just couldn’t make it stop. 

It hurt. 

It hurt so much and there was nothing he could do to stop the pain from wrecking through him with every recount of what happened that his mind mercilessly conjured up. 

Why couldn’t it just stop? 

He didn’t want to see it all happen again; didn’t want to be reminded that his mates were just fine without him. Didn’t want to be reminded of their silence. 

Silence. 

All there had been was silence. 

Silence, silence, silence. 

His mates had been silent when he had so desperately longed for them to talk to him, to reassure him he still had a place with them.

And yet now they were so loud over their bond, flooding him with emotions, suffocating him when they hadn't even been able to look him in the eyes, hadn't even managed to tell him they were sorry or that they loved him when he so desperately had needed them to be there for him.

Why hadn't they reached out to him before? Why had they ignored his messages and treated him like everything was his fault? What right did they have to crowd him like this now after they just hurt him more than he had ever thought possible? His pain seemed to spike at that thought and he tried hard to get a grip on himself again. His mates must have felt it, too, because suddenly, there was a wave of reassuring affection, probably an attempt to calm him down. It almost sent Yoongi over the edge. Why would they do that now after they had basically ignored him before, after they had acted entitled to him, had patronized him, had chosen to comfort each other and exclude him? Was this another way of them trying to manipulate him? Logically, he knew that with such strong emotions none of them were able to really control their bond right now but still, he couldn't help but wonder about their motives.

His thoughts spiraled more and more the more affection they directed at him. They were crowding him after they had just cast him away like he meant nothing to them not even an hour ago. He didn't know what to make of this. Yoongi was hurting, his wolf was hurting and this was too much. The bond he had once cherished more than anything felt like an unbearable burden now.

He couldn't deal with it, he simply couldn't.

In a desperate attempt to make it stop, he reached for his wolf in his mind with an almost subconscious silent cry for help.

Finally, the bond went silent. Yoongi almost sighed with relief at the sudden complete void of emotions. Before, at the apartment, his mates' silence had upset him. Now the silence of the bond felt like a blessing. But then the images of the night began to resurface again, even stronger now that the bond wasn't distracting him.

Why couldn’t his mind be silent, too?

Against his will, his thoughts turned back to their talk, to the revelation of them having had a pack day without him.

He saw himself walk through their apartment door again, saw them staring daggers at him again, heard them ask where he had been again. Heard them say that they had gone to the beach without him again. 

‘We were at the beach.’ 

It echoed through his mind. 

‘At the beach.’ 

‘The beach.’ 

‘Beach.’ 

‘Beach.’ 

‘Beach.’ 

His mates’ faces floated through his mind, this time sneering at him as each of them repeated the phrase over and over again with the same blank and cold expression as before. 

‘They don’t want you, they don’t need you’, his mind supplied as the faces morphed into something undistinguishable and then gave way to a beach scenery. He saw his mates having water fights, building sandcastles and playing beach volleyball, joking with each other and laughing freely. 

‘What about me?’, he thought helplessly and they turned from their activities to face him, carefree expressions turning into scowls. 

‘We don’t need you’, echoed through his mind and he stared, trying to figure out who had said that. 

‘But I-‘ 

They all seemed to be speaking at the same time. 

‘Go away!’ 

‘Can’t you see we are busy?’ 

‘Leave us alone already!’ 

‘Why are you still here?’ 

‘Don’t you get it? We don’t need you!’ 

‘We don’t need you. Don’t need you. Don’t need you…’ 

All of a sudden, Yoongi found himself in the ocean, being dragged under by something wrapping tightly around his ankles. He desperately looked at his mates who were standing at the shore, staring at him with indifferent expressions. He tried to call for help but water immediately made its way into his lungs and he closed his mouth again quickly. 

He couldn’t breathe. Reaching out a hand to them, silently begging for their help, he watched in despair as they locked eyes with him. For a moment it looked like they were going to come pull him out but then they were silently shaking their heads and turned away, resuming their activities as though nothing had happened. Laughter once again echoed across the beach. 

Hopelessness settled over Yoongi as he let himself be dragged to the bottom of the sea. 

‘They don’t need you. They don’t want you. You are nothing to them.'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing.’ 

The seabed seemed almost inviting. At last, there was silence again. 

Silence and darkness.

It was so silent. So dark. 

Dark and cold and – wet? 

Yoongi startled. There was something cold and wet on his neck and he had no idea what it was. 

‘Yoongi', he heard a voice call out but it sounded so, so far away. 

He blinked in confustion. What was going on? Trying to focus, he stared at the face in front of him. It was familiar. 

‘There you are’, the voice said and Yoongi had no idea what that was supposed to mean. Where else would he be? He stared into the mesmerizing pair of eyes that was right in front of him. 

‘You’re going to be just fine, Yoongi-hyung. But I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that, hyung?’ 

Of course he could, Yoongi wanted to huff out. What kind of question was that even? But when he tried to open his mouth to answer, nothing happened. He couldn’t even properly breathe, he realized. His gasps were shallow and irregular and he couldn’t control them at all. Yoongi felt like he was about to suffocate.

Unable to verbalize a response, he noticed the pressure of a hand on his knee and reached out his own to squeeze it in silent confirmation. Slowly the person in front of him made him follow their own breathing and Yoongi did his best to go along with it. His chest hurt as his lungs began to burn from the effort and involuntarily he choked on a sob. This was way too hard. 

Trying to focus on the other’s breathing, going along with it as best as he could, the noise of blood rushing through his ears slowly began to subside. There was a soft humming sound around him, he realized. Yoongi wasn’t sure what it was but it was comforting. Was it a melody? If it was, he had never heard it before. Closing his eyes briefly, he let the sound wash over him. 

Calm. 

That’s what it felt like. 

Like a gentle breeze taking away his worries. 

‘You’re doing so well, Yoongi-hyung’, the soft voice said and Yoongi opened his eyes again. 

He knew that voice. 

Jimin. 

This was Jimin. 

He looked up, staring into the beta’s eyes and was met with soft kindness. Yoongi swallowed hard. 

‘Breathe with me, hyung’, Jimin whispered and Yoongi complied, squeezing Jimin’s hand on his knee again and feeling more calmness wash over him. Jimin was here. Everything would be alright. He would be ok. Jimin would make sure of that. 

Realization began to dawn on him as he kept staring into the beta’s eyes, trying to follow his breathing technique. He had been wrong, he thought. There had been no need to rush to his safe place. It had been here all along. 

His safe place wasn’t Jimin’s place. 

It was Jimin. Jimin himself was his safe place. 

A small bout of happiness surged through him at this realization, helping him to calm down a bit more. Leaning forward, he let his head rest against Jimin’s shoulder and closed his eyes, allowing the unidentified humming sound to wash over him again, slowly and calmly breathing in and out.

-----

Wrapping his arms around Yoongi and holding him tight, Jimin sighed with relief. For a while he wasn’t sure at all that they would manage to break Yoongi out of this one. Whatever had happened there had been extreme. The elder had been unresponsive for such a long time. 

He wasn’t sure it had been just a panic attack. Yoongi had basically completely spaced out on them. Jimin had never experienced something like this and he had a lot of experience with panic attacks. Not only his own but also those of the lot or the occasional other community member. 

Trauma was something that most everyone in the community had to deal with at some point in their lives. You didn’t just end up at the river if your life was perfect after all. While Jimin didn’t usually get involved with panic attacks of other community members – Haneul was a master at handling them, him having been the one who taught Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung – he had always been the one to help the lot through theirs. 

There had been many during their first year at the river. It hadn’t come as a surprise, neither to Jimin nor to any of the other community people. They had still been so young after all. From what Jimin and Haneul had gathered, their time at the orphanage had left some deep scars and on top of that adjusting to the community lifestyle hadn’t been easy for them, either. Not to mention their first weeks on the streets with no guidance, living in constant fear and being close to starving.

There had been countless nights during which Jimin had stayed around their chosen place, looking out for them and helping one or the other with an episode, just like he had learned from his hyungs. For their first year, he had probably spent more nights with them than at his own place, often not getting any sleep at all. 

As time passed, the attacks came less and less often and nowadays they barely ever happened. Back then though, they had figured out which methods usually worked best for each of them and established a pattern of dealing with the dreaded attacks.

The wet cloth was a method Jimin had learned about from Hajun-hyung. His hyung had used it on Jimin himself once when he was spiraling really badly. The wet and cold feeling had startled him to attention enough to be able to recognize his surroundings and focus on his hyung’s instructions. They didn’t use it often because it was a pretty abrupt way of snapping someone out of their haze and that wasn’t exactly recommended. But in severe cases like today it was definitely a method they relied on. 

Usually though, they just settled for grounding talk and sitting close, applying comforting pressure to arms or legs, sometimes also shoulders. Never the chest though, as it could feel constricting. 

Junseo-hyung had taught Jimin this method, having used it on the beta more than once and Jimin knew about the grounding effect it could have very well. Even without having a panic attack he had always loved his hyung enveloping him in hugs like that. 

‘Like a weighted blanket’, his hyung had once explained to him. 

He had remembered that sentence one lonely night about five years ago and acted on it. A weighted blanket was now Jimin’s most precious possession, tugged away safely in the bottom drawer of his chest of drawers. It had taken him countless extra errands and almost three months of saving up to be able to buy one. A soft, yet heavy deep navy blue blanket with lots of yellow stars scattered all across it. 

Blue and yellow – his hyungs’ favorite colors. 

Jimin hadn’t expected to find a blanket in exactly these colors and especially not with such a pattern. Tears had welled up in his eyes when he had first spotted it on one of the shelves and it had taken all of his self-control to not break down crying in the middle of the store. 

The colors and the stars. 

The softness and the comfort it promised. 

The weight that could keep him grounded. 

It was the perfect blanket and he hadn’t cared that it was a bit more expensive than the plain ones. None of the others would have done now that he had seen this one and so he had spent all of his savings and taken it back to his place.

That night, he had spent curled up under the comfortable weight of the blanket, hugging himself tightly and crying his eyes out, finally allowing himself to let go of the pain he had bottled up inside. When he eventually had managed to calm himself down a little bit, he had noticed that for the first time since the incident he felt somewhat warm again. Exhausted but more comfortable than he had been in quite a while he had eventually drifted off to sleep. The grounding pressure method definitely worked best for Jimin.

And then, lastly, there was the tune. Now that was something the kids had come up with. 

Jimin still remembered how startled he had been when one night while he was helping Beomgyu through an especially nasty episode, the others had suddenly started to hum it. He had raised an eyebrow at them but said nothing, keeping his attention on Beomgyu. To his surprise, the omega seemed to react to the melody, eyes becoming more focused and breathing becoming ever so slightly more even. 

He had been able to get through to the younger then. Slowly getting him to calm down, he had noticed that the melody indeed had something very calming about it. They had told him later that it was a tune they had come up with during their first few weeks on the streets, something they used to hum to each other at night, when they were too scared to fall asleep and needed reassurance that everything would be alright. 

It was such a pretty melody. 

Jimin had always liked it. 

He wouldn’t ever admit it to the lot but he had hummed it to himself during countless lonely nights at his place, huddled away under his weighted blanket when everything came crashing down on him. It really did have a calming effect, he mused, still amazed that those kids had just come up with it on a whim.

An almost inaudible soft sigh ripped him out of his thoughts. He looked down at Yoongi, whose head was now resting on Jimin’s chest. 

At some point, the kneeling position had become too hard for Jimin to maintain and he had gently pulled Yoongi to the ground with him, settling the two of them in a comfortable embrace. He brought up a hand and ran his fingers through Yoongi’s hair reassuringly. The elder stirred slightly, moving his head sideways and glancing up at Jimin who gave him a reassuring smile. 

‘Hey, Yoongi-hyung.’ 

The humming around them stopped. 

Yoongi stared at him. 

‘Jiminie.’ 

It was barely above a whisper and Jimin was sure he would have missed it completely if he hadn’t been so close to Yoongi in the first place. His heart skipped a beat at the nickname. 

Jiminie. 

Another phantom from his past. 

He hadn’t heard it in almost fifteen years now. 

But Yoongi had said it so softly, so tenderly that the pain Jimin had expected to feel at hearing it again didn’t come. Instead, he felt another one of his carefully constructed barriers melt away. 

Just how did Yoongi manage to do this? For years, Jimin had been able to guard himself, not letting anyone closer than necessary, not attaching to anyone. The lot had been the absolute exception to this and even they hadn’t been able to break down his barriers the way Yoongi did. Jimin really didn’t understand but he also couldn’t find it in him to be angry about this. The elder only meant well after all. 

‘Jiminie’, Yoongi repeated, voice still barely audible. He looked up at him with an incredulous look in his eyes, as if searching for something. 

Jimin stared back, not sure what was going on. His wolf keened under the scrutinizing gaze of the alpha and Jimin had half a mind to slap himself to get his more instinctual side under control again. 

Why did his wolf always have to act up like this at the most inappropriate times? Yoongi had just recovered from an extreme panic attack and, even worse, the lot was around, too. Now really wasn’t the time for this, he tried to reason with himself. 

His wolf didn’t care though. 

Mine. 

It echoed through his mind. 

‘Don’t be ridiculous’, Jimin silently argued with himself. ‘He’s already mated.’ 

Doesn’t matter. 

‘Yeah, it does. He has a pack, a place to go home to once they work things out. Besides, you know we don’t have time for this’, Jimin tried to keep his wolf at bay, still staring into Yoongi’s eyes. There was something there, something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. 

Alpha. 

Jimin groaned inwardly. 

‘Yes, he is an alpha. We know many alphas. Soobin is one, too. And Yeonjun. Nothing special about that.’ 

Pack. 

Oh no. 

No, no, no. 

Nope, Jimin was not going to go down that road. 

Most definitely not. 

‘No’, he thought fervently, trying to get through to his wolf. Why wouldn’t he back off this time? ‘You did not just suggest we join his pack. That is not gonna happen, we both know it. We have things to do. Besides, haven’t you seen how shitty his mates treat him? Do you think I would want mates like that?’ 

Want. Mates. 

This inner monologue was absurd, Jimin decided. ‘We don’t even know them! Are you just lusting after them for their looks?! Trust me, those don’t speak for their character at all. It’s not gonna happen, so drop it already. Now isn’t the time for this. Back off!’ 

He almost sighed in relief when his wolf finally fell silent again. What the heck had that been? 

-----

‘Jiminie.’ 

Jimin frowned. 

That was the third time Yoongi had said this. Was he really alright? 

‘I’m here, hyung’, he said soothingly, breaking away from their little staring contest and taking in the elder’s delicate features. He looked so fatigued. No wonder, Jimin thought. It had been a long day for him, whatever had happened back at his home had apparently taken a real toll on him and on top of that he just had a massive panic attack. Yoongi needed to rest. 

He looked at the lot who were staring at the two of them with curious expressions on their faces. Soobin raised an eyebrow when their eyes met. Jimin shook his head and lightly shrugged his shoulders. He had no idea what had just happened there, either. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on it, though, he thought, motioning towards Yoongi with his head. Soobin nodded and moved to kneel next to them. 

‘Are you ok now, hyung?’ 

It took Yoongi a moment to react to Soobin’s question but eventually, he nodded. 

Soobin smiled. ‘You look really tired. Think you can make it to Ji’s place? It’s not that far anymore.’ 

Another nod. 

Yoongi moved to sit up with Jimin’s help, looking around with bleary eyes. They exchanged another look, still worried. He really was out of it. 

‘Let’s go then, before you fall asleep on us here’, Yeonjun joined them and between the three of them, they helped the alpha get up on his feet. For a second or two, Yoongi swayed dangerously but they kept a tight grip on him until he seemed to find his balance. 

‘We’ll take him, you already did a lot, Ji’, Soobin muttered. ‘Take a break until we reach your place.’ 

Jimin nodded and let go of Yoongi. 

Immediately, the elder tensed up, head whipping around to look for the beta. Something that sounded oddly like a cross between a growl and a whine left his throat. It wasn’t a sound any of them had ever heard before.

‘Whoa’, Kai exclaimed surprised.

The younger ones stared at the scene wide-eyed, not sure what they were witnessing but quite intrigued by it. 

Yoongi’s eyes found Jimin standing to his right and immediately he reached out a hand, grabbing the younger’s arm and pulling him close again. Jimin complied. He had no idea what was going on but if Yoongi felt better with him around, he really didn’t mind staying close. Letting Yoongi draw him in again, he nestled into the alpha’s side, feeling the tension leave the other’s body at the contact. 

‘Better?’, he asked softly. 

Yoongi startled and blinked at him, a distant look in his eyes. They had to get going before he would collapse on them, Jimin decided. Wrapping an arm around the other’s waist, just like before the panic attack, he gently steered him into the right direction. 

‘Come on, hyung. Let’s go home.’

Chapter Text

It took them at least double the time to get to Jimin’s place than it usually would have. Yoongi’s movements were slow and unsteady now. They had resorted to Yeonjun and Jimin helping him, since the alpha absolutely refused to let Jimin leave his side for some reason. 

‘You better not make this a habit, Yoongi-hyung’, Beomgyu muttered good-naturedly when his attempt to switch places with Jimin was thwarted by Yoongi feverishly holding onto the beta and letting out a low growl. ‘We do want to hold him close, too, you know?’ 

Rolling his eyes, Jimin feigned a gag. ‘I’d rather like to see you try. Don’t blame me if you end up in the river instead, though.’ 

Taehyun huffed in mock exasperation. ‘You wouldn’t do that.’ 

 Jimin grinned wickedly. ‘I’d jump in with all of you attached to me. See how fast you would let go then.’ 

The younger ones searched his face, looking for any sign that he might be joking. Not for the first time, Jimin was thankful for his poker face. It allowed him to have so much more fun when dealing with the lot. 

Finding no sign of the beta joking, Kai whined lowly. 

‘But that’s not fair, Ji! Why does Yoongi-hyung get to hug you and hold you close and we don’t?’ 

That was indeed a good question, Jimin thought. One that he couldn’t really answer himself. Not that he minded hugging the lot. They had already established that he was ok with it after all. Still, he didn’t need for that to happen all the time now. 

Yoongi though – now that was a different story. Jimin wouldn’t mind being held by him all the time. Although that was something the brats really didn’t need to know. They’d never let him live that one down. 

He gave them a bright smile. ‘Hyung privileges. He is my hyung, so he gets to hug me whenever he wants to. It’s not like I could say no to him, I’m his dongsaeng after all.’ 

An amused sparkle made its way into his eyes as he watched the younger ones process his answer. 

‘Huh’, Taehyun muttered, looking from Jimin to Yeonjun and Soobin and back, ‘we really are unlucky, aren’t we?’ 

Beomgyu and Kai whined in agreement. 

‘Imagine having three hyungs and none of them like to hug or cuddle’, Kai sighed dejectedly. 

‘Life’s so unfair’, Beomgyu concluded and the other two nodded their agreement to that. 

Yeonjun and Soobin snorted. 

‘Don’t you forget about Yoongi-hyung?’, Soobin wondered. 

‘Yeah, he seems to like hugging. If you need a hug, I’m sure he would cuddle with you’, Yeonjun added. 

Jimin frowned as he saw the kids’ faces light up at that prospect. Sharing his hyung with the kids? No way. Yoongi’s hugs were for him only, the kids could get theirs from their own alphas. 

He paused, retracing that last thought. 

Wait. 

What? 

Had he just indirectly considered Yoongi his alpha? 

His?!? 

What the heck was wrong with him? 

He could practically feel his wolf do a little triumphant victory dance in his mind and tried his best to shut it out, turning his attention back to the kids, who now were eyeing Yoongi with hopeful expressions. Somehow this really didn’t sit right with Jimin at all. 

‘He’s too tired right now’, he pointed out. ‘I doubt he’s even following our conversation. Plus, I have a way better solution for you.’ 

‘What could possibly be better than hugs from Yoongi-hyung?’, Taehyun mused bewildered. 

‘I doubt there’s anything better than that’, Kai agreed. 

Jimin smiled. ‘Oh, but there is. I know you’d love it.’ 

They were still skeptical, he could see it in Beomgyu’s frown. ‘Whatever is it then?’ 

‘I’ll tell you under one condition.’ That got their attention, the three teens’ heads swiveling around to look at him. ‘If I tell you, you have to promise to not use it against me. Ever.’ 

Soobin and Yeonjun exchanged a look. 

‘Now wait a second, Ji-‘, Soobin protested, feeling slightly uneasy about where this was going. 

‘That doesn’t sound like a fair deal to me’, Yeonjun muttered under his breath. 

Jimin smirked at them. ‘Oh, it doesn’t? Good thing you aren’t the ones asking me then.’ With that, he turned back to the three younger ones. ‘So? What’ll it be? Do you think it’s an unfair deal, too? You don’t have to promise me anything, you know? I can just keep it to myself.’ 

‘Ji, stop manipulating-‘, Yeonjun was interrupted by three excited voices shouting over each other. 

‘We promise!’ 

‘Please tell us, we promise not to use it against you!’ 

‘Promise, Ji! Tell us!’ 

Jimin smiled brightly. ‘I’ll hold you to that promise then. Now as for what I was going to tell you…’, he gave them a conspiratorial look and they instinctively moved a bit closer to him. 

‘Remember what I told you about hyung privileges?’ He watched them nod, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. ‘Well, why don’t you just make use of your dongsaeng privileges?’ 

Their eyes grew big at that. 

‘Our what?’, Kai stared at him. 

‘We have dongsaeng privileges?’ Beomgyu looked confused. 

Jimin hummed. ‘Of course you do. You might have to listen to your hyungs but at the same time, your hyungs are supposed to look after you, they are responsible for you. That means they should make sure you have everything you need, right? If there IS something you need, you should tell them, so that they can help you with it. As long as it is a reasonable request, of course. But I strongly believe hugs and cuddles are absolutely reasonable requests.’ 

He watched as understanding dawned on their faces, eyes lighting up expectantly as they turned to look at the alphas who stared at Jimin in disbelief. Yeonjun muttered something unintelligible under his breath while Soobin shot him a dirty look. ‘Ji, I swear-‘ 

He gave the two of them a blinding smile. ‘That goes for you, too, of course. You didn’t promise me, so you can totally use your dongsaeng privileges to get hugs from me.’ 

They glared at him but before either of them could say anything, they were swarmed by the younger ones. 

‘Hyungs’, Kai cooed, holding onto Soobin’s left arm with both hands and looking at him with bright eyes. ‘We claim dongsaeng privileges tonight’, Beomgyu attached himself to Yeonjun’s free side, giving him a hopeful look. 

‘Well played’, Taehyun whispered into Jimin’s ear, making the elder look at him. Of course Taehyun had looked right through his little scheme to make the two older boys get the hugs they secretly craved but would never ask for. Jimin wasn’t surprised, he wouldn’t have expected anything less from him. If another part of his scheme was to get the kids off Yoongi so that he could have his hugs for himself nobody needed to know, right? 

His lips curled up in a smirk as he replied to Taehyun. ‘They won’t ever admit it though.’ 

They shared a knowing look and then Taehyun made his way over to his future pack as well, clinging to Yeonjun’s back. ‘We really, really, really need more hugs and cuddles.’ 

Yeonjun sighed, throwing Jimin a sideways look. 

‘I hate you’, he growled lowly. Soobin nodded enthusiastically. ‘So much.’ 

Taehyun winked at Jimin over Yeonjun’s shoulder, giving him a subtle thumbs up. 

Yeah, Jimin thought, feeling oddly satisfied. They definitely loved this a lot.

-----

They eventually reached Jimin’s place, the lot making him promise to contact them if Yoongi were to get worse again. Jimin was definitely beginning to see the appeal of those damn phones after tonight. 

Guiding Yoongi to his place took longer than usual, the alpha still being quite unresponsive and wobbly on his feet. When they had finally made it, Jimin wasted no time in getting Yoongi to lie down with him, moving close and holding him tight just like he had the night of the attack. 

The elder immediately clung to him as though his life depended on him. Reaching for a blanket with one hand, Jimin covered them up as best as he could while murmuring more soothing words into Yoongi’s ear. Slowly he felt the last bit of tension leave the other’s body as he finally drifted off into much needed sleep. 

Jimin listened to the alpha’s finally even and deep breaths, drawing him in a little closer because more than ever before he was craving his warmth. Sleep wouldn’t come for him anytime soon, he knew that much. There was too much going on inside of him. 

First of all, he was spitting mad. Whatever had happened at that damn apartment had been bad enough to send Yoongi into a panic attack or whatever that whole thing had been and they had barely been able to snap him out of it. He could only hope that the elder would feel more like himself again when he woke up in the morning. 

How dare his mates treat him like this? Granted, he had no idea what had happened but he did know that Yoongi had been confident in being able to solve the situation. He had wanted nothing more than to make up with his pack, had scraped together all his courage and decided to take the first step. It must have been hard for him, especially considering that he wasn’t ready to tell them everything just yet. Taking into account that his mates had been treating him like shit lately and that it was a five against one encounter, this had been a huge step to take for Yoongi and Jimin was seething to a point that he had to grit his teeth hard so as to not let out a growl. 

Yoongi’s call hadn’t been totally unexpected. Jimin had kind of figured that the alpha would call or message him after the talk to let him know how it went, so he had made sure to keep an eye on his still so new phone. He hadn’t expected Yoongi to call this soon though, let alone for him to be almost unable to form any words. 

It had immediately worried him, something the lot had picked up on quickly, bombarding him with questions about what was happening while he was still trying to get answers from Yoongi. Eventually he had shut them up with a glare and a cutting gesture across his throat. 

When Yoongi had failed to answer him, he had known that things had gone terribly wrong. Picking him up and bringing him back to the river was the only solution he could come up with in the short time he had to react. Thankfully, Yoongi hadn’t needed him to stay on the line, so he and the lot had been able to reach the place within just about twenty minutes. 

Granted, they had run most of the way. Soobin and Yeonjun had been angrier than he had ever seen them before when he had told them that Yoongi was having a breakdown. They really seemed to have attached to him strongly, something that filled Jimin with gratitude for the older alpha. 

He always felt like he was failing those two somehow. While he did his absolute best for all five of them, he couldn’t help but feel a bit out of his depth when it came to alpha-related problems. If there was one thing Soobin and Yeonjun had needed, it was an alpha-hyung they looked up to and trusted. None of the community people had ever been able to fill that role for them and Jimin was extremely thankful that Yoongi hadn’t even hesitated to offer them his support. No wonder the two had been so angry after Yoongi’s call. It took him almost all the way over to the apartment complex to calm them down enough to avoid a direct confrontation with the rest of the pack. It wouldn’t do any of them any good at this point, not with Yoongi being so out of it. 

The pack, though. 

Jimin’s blood boiled just at the thought of them. They had been waiting on the sidewalk after he had called Yoongi to let him know that they had arrived. It hadn’t taken the elder long to come outside, his mates hot on his heels, asking him not to leave over and over again. 

Yoongi had never even wanted to leave them in the first place. What on earth could they have done or said to make him change his mind? To make him not even dare to look at them anymore once he had safely reached Jimin and the lot on the sidewalk? To make him leave without a single word or even one last glance at them? 

Jimin could feel the pain and sorrow radiating off the elder without sharing a bond with him. And yet his mates, who must have felt all that so much more strongly through their bond, had just stood there and stared at him. Jimin had silently willed them to say something, anything. An apology, an offer to talk it out together, a question to see if Yoongi needed anything, a ‘We love you’. 

But nothing had come from them, not a single damn word. It had been weird, feeling their stares on them, their eyes boring into them as they tried their best to comfort Yoongi when basically all the elder had wanted was to be held close by the people who had now driven him out of his own home. The very people who were now just staring, not even trying to fix what they had broken. 

It had taken all of Jimin’s willpower and then some to not explode right there. The only thing that held him back had been the thought of how it would affect Yoongi. He had noticed the staring contest Yeonjun entered with the pack, thankful that both he and Soobin seemed to be able to keep themselves under control as well. 

And then Yoongi had lost himself in his panic attack and Jimin realized that things were even worse than he initially thought. Seriously, if he ever got a chance to have a one on one talk with Yoongi’s pack, there would be a whole lot he had to tell them. 

He had been so damn worried when Yoongi had stayed unresponsive for such a long time. And so relieved when the wet cloth method seemed to work. Only to be worried yet again because Yoongi was behaving so strangely afterwards. 

Jiminie.

It still rang in his ears. Yoongi had said it so gently, with so much warmth in his voice. 

Fifteen years were a long time. He hadn’t even realized that he had missed being called by that nickname. Yoongi really did have a tendency to break down all his barriers. 

He snuggled closer to him, seeking comfort in his presence as he let his mind wander. It had never been his intention to attach to Yoongi like this. But there was just something about the alpha that seemed to calm him. Nobody had ever been able to get to him like Yoongi. Not even Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung. Even though they had always been so understanding, so protective and supportive of him. Jimin loved his hyungs dearly, he really did. Eventually. They had to work hard to win his trust, though. But Yoongi – all he had to do was call him ‘Jimin-ah’ or ‘Jiminie’ and for some reason Jimin’s heart warmed, causing his barriers and reservations to melt away. 

His wolf was obsessed with Yoongi; had been from the day that he had saved him in that cursed alley. Then again, his wolf seemed to be obsessed with Yoongi’s mates, too, and Jimin definitely could not relate to that - so maybe his wolf wasn’t always right. 

Still – Jimin couldn’t imagine not having Yoongi in his life anymore. In a weirdly selfish kind of way he was almost glad that the elder was back with him again tonight. When he had announced earlier in the day that he would have to go home to clear things up with his mates, something inside of Jimin had shattered. Even though it had only been a very short time, he had already gotten so used to spending time with him, to having him around during the day, to teasing him, to snuggling up to him at night. 

Especially the nights. He had dreaded spending them alone again, already prepared to get out his weighted blanket, allowing himself the comfort of the fake hug to feel a little less lonely. 

He sighed softly. When had he gotten so used to this? He had been so careful not to get close to anyone ever again and now here he was, getting attached to not only the lot but also to Yoongi. Especially to Yoongi. How could he have let down his walls so much when he still had his mission to accomplish?

Jimin didn’t want anything to happen to either of them. And worst of all, he didn’t want them to suffer when he was gone. But somehow he just couldn’t stop himself from opening up more. Yoongi had somehow found a way into his heart and it seemed like he was determined to stay there.

And Jimin had no idea what to do about that. 

He shuffled on the mattress, trying to find a position that would let him fall asleep. Yoongi stirred beside him, turning over on his side, now facing Jimin. He reached out one arm and drew him in, bringing him closer, softly pushing Jimin’s head against his chest and nestling his own chin on top of it. 

‘Sleep, Jiminie’, he murmured softly and Jimin’s heart melted. His hands came up and he clutched at Yoongi’s shirt, deeply inhaling the faint scent of coffee and whiskey that the fading scent blockers once again let out. 

It felt like home, he thought with a stab to his heart. A single tear escaped his eyes and fell onto Yoongi’s chest. 

It felt so much like home. 

-----

Jimin woke up late the next morning and he was glad that he hadn’t scheduled any errands in the early hours this day. Still nestled into Yoongi’s warm embrace, now with Yoongi being on his back and Jimin lying half on top of him, he pushed himself up a little to study the alpha’s face. 

He looked so peaceful in his sleep. 

Jimin wished with all his heart that he could just take away his worries and struggles. He was such a good person. The best person Jimin had ever met. The way he had taken care of Jimin last night even though he had been totally out of it and dead tired had left Jimin feeling warm all over. 

Yoongi was so caring, so understanding; so warm. 

Pretty, his wolf suggested and Jimin huffed in annoyance at the interruption but couldn’t deny that his wolf was right. Yoongi was very pretty. He shook his head to get his thoughts back on track. He would strangle his wolf if only he could get his hands on him. Turning his attention back to Yoongi, he noticed that the alpha was awake now, too, watching him getting lost in his mind. 

They stared at each other for a little while, Jimin’s heart swelling with fondness and affection for the elder. Shock washed over him, followed by something that felt like awe before a jolt of happiness buzzed through him. He frowned in confusion. What the heck was wrong with him now?

Belatedly he noticed that Yoongi’s eyes had widened as he stared at Jimin open-mouthed, almost as if in shock. Jimin frowned, having no idea what was going on. Were this still lingering effects of last night’s panic attack, was Yoongi still out of it? Or was something else wrong? Nervously he watched Yoongi, who still stared at him with an incredulous look on his face. 

Jimin’s confusion mixed with disbelief and giddiness and he shook his head at himself. Maybe last night had gotten to him more than he had thought.

With a sudden move, Yoongi got into a sitting position, pulling Jimin up along with him, holding his hands tightly. 

‘Jiminie’, he began and Jimin couldn’t help but feel his heart soar at the nickname. 

Yoongi stopped to stare at him again, a smile making its way onto his face.

‘Jiminie’, Yoongi repeated softly, ‘what's wrong?’ Jimin stared at him in confusion and opened his mouth to answer but Yoongi was faster. ‘Oh’, he suddenly added, almost as an afterthought, ‘you’re confused.’

He blinked, surprised. ‘Hyung, I-‘ 

Yoongi held up a hand to stop him. ‘Jimin-ah, tell me. What do you feel?’ 

Jimin stared at the elder. Why was he acting so weird? Had he really still not fully recovered from his panic attack last night maybe? Worry surged through him as he wondered what else he could possibly do to help the alpha. 

Yoongi frowned at him. ‘Don’t worry, Jiminie. Everything’s ok. Just tell me what you are feeling, won’t you?’ 

With a sigh Jimin complied, pondering the question for a moment. What was he feeling? Yoongi’s strange behavior was leaving him confused, nervous and worried but other than that? He frowned as he realized that the earlier happiness and giddiness were still around, mixing with growing excitement and a tiny tinge of impatience. 

That didn’t make sense now, did it? He had no reason to feel any of this. Unless- 

His head snapped up, eyes meeting Yoongi’s. 

‘Hyung, don’t tell me-‘, he broke off when a surge of affection ran through him. 

His eyes widened. 

‘Did you feel it?’, Yoongi asked, ever so softly. 

Jimin stared at him, his mouth opening and closing helplessly, unable to form any words. 

Those were Yoongi’s emotions, he realized. The happiness, the giddiness, the excitement and now the affection. These were Yoongi’s feelings as he realized what was going on, it was his affection towards Jimin. 

There was only one way he would be able to feel his hyung’s emotions like this. And it was a rare thing to happen without being mated. Very rare, from what Jimin knew. 

‘We- we bonded?’, he whispered in disbelief. 

A radiant gummy smile formed on Yoongi’s face, his eyes crinkling softly, full of warmth. Happiness and affection made their way towards Jimin over what he now knew was their newly formed bond. In a daze, he let the elder pull him into a hug.

‘Yes, Jiminie’, Yoongi confirmed gently. ‘We bonded.’

Chapter Text

The boy stared at the cupcakes sitting in the window of the small bakery he had just been passing by. He was on his way back home, having just finished his last errand for the day, when the display caught his eye and he stopped, eyes drawn to the colorful frosting and various decorations of the delicious looking treats. Should he?

It had been almost a year since he first came to the river. Back then, he had been so scared of everyone and everything. Just thinking about that now made him shiver involuntarily. If his hyungs hadn’t found him that night and convinced him to come with them – there was no denying that he probably wouldn’t have managed to survive out on the streets on his own. His escape plan from the orphanage had been quite naïve, not taking into account the dangers life in the streets brought along especially for kids like him. Not to mention that he had had no idea how to support himself. Even if his roommates hadn’t taken away his emergency money and snacks he wouldn’t have lasted for long. He really had been lucky.

When his hyungs had offered to take him in, he had been wary but he also knew that the risk of going with those two strangers was no smaller than that of him staying out on the streets on his own. They had seemed nice, he had been tired and he was out of options seeing as his roommates had literally left him with nothing. And so he had accepted, not trusting the two men one bit but also not willing to risk losing their offer in case it turned out to be genuine.

Which it had turned out to be. For the longest time the boy had struggled to accept the fact that his hyungs really seemed to not expect anything in return from him. He had refused to talk to them any more than necessary, never told them anything about himself during the first few months of staying with them. And they had accepted that, never pushing him and always being so understanding and supportive.

The boy couldn’t count the number of times they had comforted him after a nightmare or helped him through panic attacks in those early days. They had provided him with everything he needed, be it changes of clothes, food and even medication when it became necessary.

Gradually he had learned to be more relaxed around them; had realized that they really cared for him and that he could trust them. And yet it had been so hard for him to let them in, to let them get close to him. It wasn’t until a good half year of living with them that he finally realized they had become his family, that their place was what he now considered his home.

He hadn’t wanted for that to happen. After losing his family he had vowed to never get close to anyone. Too big was his fear of being left behind for whatever reason. There was no way he would be able to go through something like that ever again, so he had tried his best to keep his distance.

But his hyungs had won him over anyway, simply by being themselves. They hadn’t pushed him at all, they just fulfilled their promise and took care of him. The boy was pretty sure that it was both the comfort they radiated whenever he was having a hard time and their silly goofiness that had made him cave in the end.

He shook his head and focused back on the cupcakes in the window display. They really didn’t have extra treats often. His hyungs still ran most of their errands, only allowing him to work with certain vendors they really trusted. And they insisted that he kept some of his earnings to himself. He had protested many times, knowing that they had to take on more tasks to take care of him and wanting to help. But they wouldn’t have it, insisting that he should take his time to recover, to get used to everything and get settled in the community first.

The boy had huffed at that, pointing out that he had settled in already. And from his point of view, that was true. It hadn’t been easy at first but whenever he struggled with his new lifestyle he reminded himself of how much worse it would have been if he hadn’t run away and that never failed to fill him with new determination to pull through with this situation.

By now, he was proud to be a part of the little community. It had taken him by surprise just how organized everything was; how much everyone looked out for each other. He got along well with the people living at the base even though he never let anyone else get close to him. But they seemed to respect his distance and the boy could work with that.

He got along well with the vendors, too. In the beginning, the concept of running errands had been strange to the boy and he had been afraid to be scammed or for someone to call officials on him. But his hyungs had reassured him that the people they worked with could be trusted and that they wouldn’t ever let him do anything that would put him at risk.

Now, if only they would let him help more. He sighed dejectedly, telling himself that it was only two more months. After many discussions and lots of pleading from the boy’s side, they had eventually agreed to fully let him help once his first year at the river was over. The boy couldn’t wait for that. He wanted to be able to contribute his full share to their living expenses. It wasn’t fair that his hyungs had to do all the work when he had the time and will to help as well.

A small smile formed on his face as he looked at the cupcakes one last time before entering the bakery. It had been a long time since he had felt this good. He wouldn’t say that he was happy. Honestly, he wasn’t sure what that felt like anymore. But he also wasn’t sad. Most days he felt calm and content and warm. It had been years since he last felt this safe and cared for and it was all thanks to his hyungs. The boy wasn’t sure what he had expected his life to turn out to be like when he ran from the orphanage but he knew that he hadn’t expected to find a family again. His heart fluttered at the thought of not being alone anymore.

He left the bakery a few minutes later, carefully holding the small box with three of the most colorful cupcakes in his hands. His hyungs both had a sweet tooth, he was very much aware of that. They might not let him help much yet but since they insisted he kept part of his earnings he could afford this little treat for all of them.

It was the least he could do. They had picked him up when he was at his lowest, lost and terrified and panicking. Had given him a home and shown him nothing but patience and compassion, taking down his barriers one by one without him even noticing.

The boy couldn’t find it in himself to be mad at them for that. They had given him what he had been craving so badly. A home and a family and love. Because that he was sure of. His hyungs loved him. And the boy – he was pretty sure he loved them, too. It had been such a long time since he loved someone, since he let anyone be this close to him. It was terrifying because he was all too aware that he now had something that he could get hurt over again if he ever lost it. But his hyungs had promised him that he would never have to be alone again after he finally told them his story.

The boy still remembered how warm and safe their hug had felt that night. It had been the day he realized his hyungs had become his family and his home. A mentally and emotionally exhausting day for him but his hyungs had been there to hold him and reassure him, they had promised he would always have a home with them, that he wouldn’t have to be alone again.

Logically, the boy knew that they couldn’t really promise something like that. There were too many outside factors that could tear apart his home, rip his family away from him. No matter what they said, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t get hurt again. Not even his hyungs could promise him that.

But they were worth that risk, he thought to himself as he stared down at the cupcake box in his hands. They were worth it and he trusted them. Neither of his hyungs would leave him behind willingly, that much he knew for sure. Everything else was out of their hands, the boy knew that all to well. Fate could play a trick on them all anytime.

The boy just hoped with all his heart that fate was done with him. Surely he had suffered enough in the past, hadn’t he? Not even fate could be so cruel as to have him go through something like this twice, right? It was the one thing he clung to whenever the fear of losing his hyungs took a hold of his heart. He had suffered enough, didn’t he at least deserve the comfort and peace being with his hyungs brought him? It’s not like he was asking for much, all he wanted was to be allowed to stay in their company. Surely even fate couldn’t find fault with that wish.

Shaking his head, the boy sighed. It wasn’t good to get lost in thoughts like that. Not only did it hold painful memories he still wasn’t ready to deal with but it also tempted him to withdraw again, awakened the urge to close up and leave before he could get hurt again. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to do just that and that was all his hyungs’ fault. They were simply too caring, too loving, too understanding and too funny for him to just leave them behind. Yeah, he thought again, returning to his initial thought. They really were worth this risk.

A smile formed on his face as he pictured their reactions to the cupcakes he was about to bring home. There was not a single doubt in his mind that they would love them.

Come to think of it, this was the first time the boy had gotten something for his hyungs. He would have smacked himself in the head at his own oversight if he weren’t currently carrying the box of cupcakes. How had he never thought of giving them a little gift? They had done so much for him. Even if they didn’t let him help much yet he had some, admittedly very limited, means to do something for them, to show them his appreciation and love. Silently he vowed to himself to do better from now on. Starting with these cupcakes.

With a small spring in his step he hurried back home to his family.

Chapter Text

Yoongi wasn’t sure what he noticed first: Jimin stiffening in his hold or the sudden fear, almost panic that somehow found its way into their newly formed bond. Concerned, he tightened his hold on the younger but that only seemed to agitate the beta even further, the fear growing stronger as an undefined uneasiness began to settle into the bond as well.

With a swift movement Jimin pulled away from Yoongi, slightly pushing at the alpha’s shoulders to break out of their embrace. Yoongi watched helplessly as he drew backwards until he was huddled against the wall, knees to chest.

‘No’, he whispered almost inaudibly before resting his arms on top of his knees and burrowing his head in them.

Fear began to mix with desperation and Yoongi had to fight the urge to reach out and just gather Jimin in his arms again. Seeing as the beta had just pulled out of their embrace almost forcefully, he doubted this would do any good right now.

He had to do something, though.

‘Jiminie’, he began softly only to stop when the panic in their bond seemed to get stronger at that. He watched Jimin shiver violently. ‘No’, the beta whispered again. ‘No, no, no.’

‘No?’, Yoongi repeated questioningly. He had no idea what was happening. Jimin shivered again but didn’t reply. Anguish and panic washed over Yoongi like waves of a stormy sea, uncontrolled and almost violent, strong enough to threaten to drag him along as well.

In an attempt to stay as level-headed as possible during this onslaught of distraught he shook his head. There had to be something he could do for Jimin. Seeing as talking to him or hugging him seemed to be out of question right now, Yoongi decided to focus on the one option he had left – their bond.

Carefully, so as not to overwhelm the beta, he began to fill the bond with reassuring calmness and affection, trying his best to counter the younger’s negative emotions with something that could ground him. His eyes never left Jimin, who was still sitting against the wall, head hidden in his arms. With how strongly the beta’s emotions were raging right now, Yoongi wasn’t sure if his attempts to ground him were even noticed but there was no way he would give up. Jimin had helped him out so many times before - whatever it was that had sent him over the edge now, there was no way Yoongi would just stand by without trying to help as well.

He was so focused on trying to calm the younger over their bond that he almost missed when the fear and panic began to ebb away slowly. It was only when Jimin drew in a long and shaky breath that he realized the beta had calmed down quite a bit. Still, Yoongi wasn’t going to take any risks. If he stopped now, Jimin might just slip back into this panic induced state.

Briefly, he wondered what had brought on this whole ordeal in the first place but he quickly shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind. Now was not the time to think about that, his focus should be on calming Jimin down not on getting lost in his own thoughts and possibly agitating him again with nudges of his own confused emotions. For now, helping Jimin was his priority – he would just have to trust that the beta would tell him what happened here eventually.

Yoongi didn’t stop channeling calm affection and reassurance into their bond until a hand tentatively found its way to his own and squeezed it. Caught by surprise he cast a quick glance at Jimin’s hand before slowly moving his hand to interlace their fingers. Gently, he squeezed back.

‘Hey, Jiminie’, he whispered carefully, still afraid to spook the younger again. Jimin moved his head slightly from where he still had it buried between his knees and his other arm and peered up at him. Silence engulfed them as they shared a long look and then Jimin heaved a deep sigh and squeezed Yoongi’s hand again.

‘Was that- you?’, he inquired quietly.

Yoongi nodded. ‘I’m sorry if using the bond was intrusive, I didn’t know how else to calm you down.’

‘That’s not-‘, Jimin sighed again and lowered his gaze. ‘It wasn’t intrusive. You’re ok, hyung. I just-‘ he broke off and gave Yoongi’s hand one more squeeze. ‘Thank you’, he added before letting go, using both of his arms to hug his knees as close to his chest as possible, chin resting on top of them. A hollow feeling made its way over their bond, so empty and lonely that it made Yoongi’s heart ache. Was that how Jimin usually felt? This wasn’t ok at all.

Yoongi waited for him to speak but Jimin stayed silent, staring ahead with an almost distant look in his eyes. It pained Yoongi to see the beta like that. Jimin had been nothing but kind to him ever since he got him out of the alley that night. Granted, he didn’t know much about the younger at all but he had his suspicions that Jimin carried his own trauma. Yoongi knew how hard it could be to open up to someone. Pressuring Jimin into telling him about himself wasn’t something he would ever do. Still, he couldn’t just let this go, either. Something was ailing Jimin badly and had almost sent him into a panic attack just now. Whatever it was at least needed to be addressed. Yoongi might not be able to do much about this but he could offer Jimin to listen.

‘Jiminie’, he began gently, ‘what’s wrong?’

For a second it looked like Jimin was going to reply to him, staring at him with watery eyes. But then he squeezed them shut and shook his head. ‘It’s nothing, hyung.’

Silence fell over them at the obvious lie. Both of them were very well aware that something was wrong. Yoongi felt helpless. He wanted nothing more than to help Jimin but the younger was distancing himself from him for some reason and he feared that any further attempt to talk about the issue would only make the situation worth.

Still… Shouldn’t they talk about it? When Yoongi had been unable to talk to his mates it had resulted in them being driven further and further apart. Under no circumstances would Yoongi want for this to happen to Jimin and him, too. Then again, he could hardly force Jimin to talk to him, either. He knew how hard it could be to open up about something. Who was he to force the younger to speak up about something he wasn’t ready to talk about yet? He would just have to be patient, he decided, taking in the forlorn expression on Jimin’s face. The beta would talk to him when he was ready. Until then, Yoongi would do his best to support him. He just wished there was something more he could do for him at this point.

The thought made him frown. Was this how his mates had felt when he was unable to open up to them about the assault? Had they felt just as helpless? It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, he could see how they might have gotten frustrated over the situation. Not that it excused the way they had been treating him. But Yoongi was beginning to understand that they might have been put under some strain as well. He would have to make sure to apologize for that to them.

That was a thought for later times, though. Right now, Jimin was his priority. The beta was still quite unresponsive and the hollowness in their bond was beginning to worry Yoongi. Just what was going on with the younger? What could have triggered such a reaction from him? Was it something Yoongi unknowingly had said or done?

Trying to figure out a possible trigger, Yoongi went over their interaction this morning. As far as he could see, he hadn’t done anything wrong. They had woken up and it had taken them a few moments to realize they were bonded. Having experience with bonds, it had been quite easy for Yoongi to catch on to the familiar feeling of foreign emotions rushing through him. Only this time, he hadn’t been able to place them immediately. He could tell his mates apart easily but this had been different. It had been new.

It had taken him a few moments to figure it out but once he did he had quickly been overtaken by awe and joy. Forming an instinctual bond was very rare nowadays in the first place. For him to have formed such a bond and with Jimin out of all people – Yoongi couldn’t have wished for a better bond mate. Jimin was the most kind and caring person he had ever met and even though it had only been a few days since they got to know each other more he had already grown so incredibly fond of him.

Jimin had taken a bit longer to catch on to the bond. He had been confused at first. That, and worried. Yoongi could understand that. If he hadn’t already experienced his mating bonds he probably wouldn’t have been able to figure this out so fast either. It hadn’t taken much to help Jimin connect the dots though. With a small smile Yoongi remembered the surprised shock that came over their bond the moment the younger had made the connection. They had hugged then – and somehow things went south. But why?

Yoongi frowned. It couldn’t have been anything he had said. They barely had spoken and only to clarify the bond. Chances were high it also wasn’t the hug, they had hugged before and it had never been a problem. So what had happened to upset Jimin so much that he couldn’t enjoy their newly formed bond- Shit.

The bond.

That had to be it. Of course.

It wasn’t anything he had said or done, it was the bond itself that triggered Jimin.

Yoongi resisted the urge to facepalm at his own ignorance. It was easy for him to be happy about this new development, to embrace the idea of being bonded to Jimin.

But Jimin? Yoongi felt like a fool for not having realized this sooner. The beta was obviously struggling with letting people get close to him. Yoongi had noticed himself just how high and sturdy the walls he had built around him were. Soobin and Yeonjun had told him that until recently Jimin hadn’t let anyone close at all. And now he suddenly was bonded. It must be a terrifying thought for him to suddenly be an open book to a relative stranger. To suddenly be close to someone like that.

With a sigh, Yoongi reached out a hand and gently placed it on Jimin’s hunched over shoulder.

‘Jiminie’, he said softly. ‘Are you worried about the bond?’

For a long moment, Jimin stayed silent. Yoongi decided to let him take his time, opting instead to sort through the anxious mix of fear, guilt, sorrow, pain and unease that still filled their bond even now that the initial panic had ebbed away.

He frowned to himself. A bond was something to be cherished and embraced, it shouldn’t induce negative emotions like this. Did Jimin not want the bond? Was he upset about it? Or did he maybe just not want to be bonded to Yoongi?

The alpha couldn’t help the little stab to his heart he felt at that thought. He could think of a million reasons for wanting this bond with Jimin but what if the younger didn’t want to be bonded to him? Could he even blame him for that?

Yoongi came with so many issues. He was dealing with past issues caused by his birth pack and the trauma from the assault and he had done nothing but relied on Jimin these past few days. What if despite always being so helpful, understanding and supportive the beta was only waiting for him to finally move on? Who would even want someone as broken as him as their bond mate? Even his own mates didn’t want him anymore, why would a relative stranger be happy about having formed a bond with him? Yoongi almost scoffed at himself for having been so blindsided. Of course he wasn’t a desirable bond mate, what was he even thinking? Jimin deserved so much better than someone as damaged as him.

Lost in thought, he didn’t even realize that Jimin had begun eyeing him with concern.

-----

Jimin was scared. No, that really wasn’t the right word for this. Jimin was terrified. Absolutely, utterly, completely terrified.

At first, the meaning of being bonded to Yoongi hadn’t settled in. It had taken a while for him to realize that the bond meant he was now tied to the alpha in a way that not only allowed the other to be aware of his emotions – his most guarded part – but that it also meant they would inevitably grow even closer than they already were.

While the first part of this revelation scared him, it was the second part that actually terrified him. Jimin had sworn to himself to never ever let anyone close again. Not after what happened with his hyungs. Back then he had already been so reluctant to let them in, to get attached to them. Too big had been his fear of being left behind again, of having his heart shattered into a million pieces once more.

And yet.

Yet, his hyungs had wormed their way into his heart, slowly but inevitably. They had been so caring and understanding, showing him again and again that he mattered to them and that they were willing to wait for him to open up to them and let them in. It had taken him so long to convince himself that it was ok to let his walls down around him, that he could trust them and let them get close.

It hadn’t been this way with Yoongi. Somehow, the alpha had melted his barriers way faster than his hyungs – even though Jimin was sure his walls had been way stronger this time around than they had been back then with his hyungs. They had to have been. After what happened with his hyungs, Jimin hadn’t ever wanted to get close to anyone again. He had already sworn the same to himself after his parents and his brother had been taken away from him. Still, somehow Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung had managed to become his second family. But for what price?

Until today, Jimin still felt the hole they left behind, just like he could feel the one left by his birth family. Having lost his family twice, there was no way he would ever want to go through that pain again. No way he ever could do that. And the best option to avoid it was to stay by himself.

And yet here he was now, bonded to Yoongi. A part of him yearned to accept this bond, to cherish it with all his might, to embrace it and get to know Yoongi better and let him become his home. But there was another part of Jimin that was way too scarred and terrified to do just that. He had already lost his family and his home twice, there was no way he would be able to go through that pain and heartache a third time. And nobody – absolutely nobody – could promise him that something like that wouldn’t happen.

Jimin knew better than to trust promises like that now. His hyungs had promised he would never be alone again and yet here he was. This wasn’t a promise anyone could make, ever. He had known it back then and still he had foolishly accepted it, believing that he had suffered enough and that fate would not let anything bad happen to him a second time.

What a great lie he had told himself back then. Of course fate was cruel. More cruel than he would ever have thought. And just like the first time, there had been nothing at all he could have done to prevent it. Losing his family once had already been too painful. With his hyungs’ help he had finally, after years, managed to glue the pieces of his heart back together. It hadn’t been perfect, in fact it had been far from it. But for the first time since the shooting he had begun to feel slightly optimistic about his future again. Even if it didn’t hold much.

Jimin didn’t need much in life. Back then, all he had wanted was to be with his hyungs and continue living with them. He never longed for better living conditions, three meals a day, the luxury of new clothes instead of handed down ones or of being able to buy what he saw and liked. None of that had mattered to him as long as he could be with his hyungs.

But even that had been too much to ask for. Losing his family a second time had left even deeper scars and this time, nobody had been around to help him put the pieces of his broken heart back together. Over the last five years, the rough edges of the shards that once were his carefully glued back together heart had lost some of their sharpness but they still hurt him day and night, even though the pain had become more dull. It was something he had learned to live with, something he could endure for the greater good of his plan.

His plan. It had been the one thing that had kept him going these past five years. Jimin had already managed to fulfill the first half of it earlier this year. It had gone way better than expected. He was determined to see it through to the end as well. After that, nothing really mattered anymore.

A bond had never been part of his plan. Getting close to anyone ever again had never been part of his plan. Too big was his fear of being left behind again. There was no way Jimin could ever go through that pain ever again. He had already barely found his way back from it last time. What if he committed to this bond with Yoongi and Yoongi was taken away from him as well? There was no guarantee it wouldn’t happen. Everyone he had ever loved and held close to his heart had been taken from him in the most unexpected, cruel way. He couldn’t risk for this to happen again. Knowing fate, it only gave him this bond to rip it away from him the moment he finally felt happy again.

There was no way he would ever recover from losing his bond but he would inevitably do so anyway, wouldn’t he? Either he cut if off right now to protect himself, hurting Yoongi and himself in the process or he waited for fate to play another cruel trick on him to drive Yoongi away or even worse, take him completely. Jimin didn’t want either of it to happen but when had he ever been asked his opinion on something? Fate didn’t ask questions, fate just took.

Something warm suddenly washed over him and effectively halted his spiraling thoughts for a moment. He frowned slightly to himself. Was this Yoongi? He concentrated, trying to keep his thoughts at bay and focusing on the bond that still felt somewhat foreign to him. Concern, affection and reassurance was what he found thrumming under his own fear and insecurities.

Yoongi. This had to be Yoongi, right? Tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he let the warmth and compassion comfort him. He could feel himself calm down significantly and let out a long and exhausted breath. Why was Yoongi this supportive and understanding when he knew next to nothing about him? How could he have been so lucky to find an instinctual bond partner like him?

He paused at that thought. Who was he trying to fool here? Despite his fears, despite his plan, despite everything, he really couldn’t imagine rejecting his bond with Yoongi or being rejected by him. This thought just proved that, didn’t it? He already considered the alpha his bond partner, there was no way he could just reject this.

For five years he hadn’t let anyone close out of fear of losing them again, of having his heart shattered like that for a third time. But Yoongi had taken down his defenses fast, finding a way into his so strongly guarded heart and Jimin just couldn’t imagine being without him again. The bond didn’t change that. It might intensify how close they got to each other but it couldn’t change the fact that Jimin would already hurt badly if he ever were to lose the alpha. What difference did the bond make then? It was too late anyway, Jimin had already lost this battle a while ago.

It was then and there that he decided that his plan could be adjusted. There would have to be some changes but he could still go through with most of it even now that he had a bond partner. If Yoongi really wanted their bond, then Jimin would be the last person to say no to it. Did it scare the heck out of him? Yes. It terrified him to no end but rejecting their bond would mean both he and Yoongi would hurt as well.

Slowly he reached out a hand to grab for Yoongi’s, squeezing it in a silent way of saying thank you for supporting him via their bond. He felt the alpha startle and shifted his head to meet his eyes.

‘Was that- you?’, he inquired quietly.

Yoongi nodded. ‘I’m sorry if using the bond was intrusive, I didn’t know how else to calm you down.’

That wasn’t what Jimin had wanted. Yoongi’s attempts had been soothing and calming not intrusive. He tried to explain this but words somehow seemed to fail him so he eventually settled on a simple ‘thank you’. Frustrated with himself, he withdrew again, wrapping his arms around his knees. He vaguely registered Yoongi asking him what was wrong but he had no idea to explain the mess inside his mind. It was his problem anyway, why should he worry Yoongi with it.

‘It’s nothing, hyung’, he decided on answering. It was a blatant lie, even without the bond Yoongi would probably have noticed that Jimin wasn’t doing ok right now. But what was he supposed to say to explain the mess he was? Wasn’t he overreacting in the first place? Jimin had no idea how to deal with this whole situation and he was growing increasingly more frustrated with himself.

‘Jiminie’, he heard Yoongi ask. ‘Are you worried about the bond?’

He was, Jimin thought. But how was he supposed to explain this to Yoongi? The alpha didn’t know anything about his past, how could Jimin expect him to understand his pain and fear, the worries and the terror that came with letting someone get close to him? But wasn’t Yoongi supposed to know? As his bond partner, didn’t he deserve to at least know partly what he was dealing with in their bond? Because Jimin was sure Yoongi would be able to make out the hollow loneliness and the dull but constant pain that had become his constant companions. Didn’t the alpha deserve to at the very least know what the cause of those was?

Jimin thought back to his own advice, the one he had given Yoongi only a few days ago. If you can’t fully talk about it, maybe just say as much as you can to explain the situation. Who was he to give such advice if he didn’t live it himself?

Dread suddenly washed over him and he startled, looking up at Yoongi with wide eyes. The alpha looked lost in thought and Jimin frowned, trying to figure out the mix of emotions in their bond. It took him a moment to sort things out, the whole idea of being bonded still being so new and strange to him, but eventually he caught on to the self-depriving spin Yoongi’s thoughts seemed to have taken.

Jimin gasped and reached out for the elder, hands hovering over him for a few seconds as he remembered how he had broken their embrace before. He hadn’t meant to hurt Yoongi, he had just been so shocked and confused. With a sigh he reached out and hugged him.

‘I’m sorry, hyung’, he said, relief flooding him when Yoongi reluctantly hugged him back. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t. It wasn’t you, it was me. It’s all me.’

They stayed like that for a while, Jimin repeating his apology and trying his best to reassure Yoongi that he didn’t pull away from him because he didn’t want to be with him. They really needed to talk, this wasn’t fair on the alpha at all otherwise.

Eventually, Yoongi pulled back a bit, giving Jimin a concerned look.

‘Jiminie – if you don’t want the bond-‘, he didn’t get any further as Jimin was quick to interrupt him.

‘No!’, he almost shouted, surprising not only Yoongi but also himself with his fierce reaction. Counting to three in his head, he tried to calm down and explain himself better. ‘No, hyung. I do want it, I really do. How could I refuse a bond with you?’

‘You want the bond? With me?’, Yoongi asked, confusion and diseblief filling their bond so strongly that Jimin wished he had been more mindful of the alpha’s own feelings in this whole matter. Sharing a bond definitely was going to be a challenge for someone as closed of as him but surely he could learn, right?

He nodded. ‘I want it, hyung. I-‘, Jimin swallowed hard. It was hard to find the right words for him. ‘Hyung I- I haven’t let anyone get close for years. I don’t know how but you kind of broke through my defenses and I… I didn’t realize how lonely I was before but I know now and I don’t think I can go back to that. I just- I’m really scared to lose people, hyung. I can’t – I can’t go through that again. There’s- so much about me you don’t know and I- I’m sorry but I don’t know if I can- I might not be able to tell you everything and I’m so sorry for that.’ He sighed deeply. ‘S-so I would understand if you don’t want to… But – i-if you really want this – our bond‘, he paused, taking a deep breath, trying to collect himself before continuing, ‘I need you to know that I want it, too. E-even if I don’t really know much about bonding at all. I want our bond, whatever that means. It scares me, no it terrifies me because I can’t lose someone close to me ever again but I… I really want this. I never thought I’d be bonded someday, especially not by instinct but here we are and I’m so, so happy that it’s you, hyung.’

He hid his face in the elder’s neck and Yoongi blinked rapidly to keep his tears at bay. The alpha had known that Jimin was lonely and hurting but he hadn’t known the extend of it. Now though, he could feel it. The pain and the loneliness were so evident in their bond that Yoongi’s heart went out to him. There was no way he could leave the younger behind. He wouldn’t have done so before but after hearing what Jimin just said his resolve was strengthened even more.

Hugging the beta close, he whispered some sweet nothings into his ear, waiting patiently until he had regained his composure. Jimin opening up to him like this meant the world to him. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for the younger to say these words. There was still a lot he didn’t know about the other, a lot Jimin didn’t know about him. But there was no rush, they could take their time and get to know each other.

‘It’s alright, Jiminie. I want our bond just as much as you. We will figure this out together, ok?’ 

He felt the younger nod against his neck.

‘And don’t you worry about telling me about yourself. You talk to me when you are ready and you tell me what you feel comfortable sharing. Some things are hard to talk about. I don’t mind waiting. You can always come and talk to me, but you aren’t obligated to tell me anything. I know you are a good person, Jimin-ah. You saved me and then went out of your way to help me. A total stranger. I know you claim it’s normal but it’s really not. Not many people would have done something like that. Whatever you can’t share with me, I know it’s not something shady. You’re not that type of person.’

Jimin wasn’t sure what to make of this. There were so many things Yoongi didn’t know about him. Things only his hyungs had known. Other things nobody knew about at all. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk about his past or any of his secrets. It was all locked away so safely and the few times he had been reminded recently had already hurt way too much.

And then there were his plans. He had almost reached his goal, he wasn’t about to give up on this now. But Yoongi was kind of right, too. It wasn’t really anything shady, was it? It was just something that he had to do. He had planned to disappear afterwards but maybe now that wouldn’t be necessary anymore. Maybe once he was done, Yoongi would be able to help him figure out what to do next. Maybe things would be alright now that he wasn’t all alone.

Even if he wanted to disappear, it wasn’t an option anymore. Jimin knew all too well the pain of losing someone important. There was no way he could do that to the person he now shared a bond with. Or the lot, for that matter. He had tried to keep his distance from them for that very reason but lately they, too, had gotten so much closer to him. Ever since he met Yoongi everything had changed.

His wolf must have known, he thought. They bonded by instinct and it explained a lot. His wolf must have known instinctively that Yoongi would be good for him all the way back when he had saved him. Until today he hadn’t been able to figure out why he had been unable to turn away from the situation unfolding in the alley. He should have. It hadn’t been any of his business. In fact, it had been fucking dangerous, way more than he was willing to admit to himself. 

He didn’t even want to think about what kind of impression the lot must have had. After all, he had ingrained it into them to never ever, not under any circumstances, get involved with Vipers. Unless you are directly threatened, turn around and look the other way. It was the safest thing to do. And yet there he had been, saving a total stranger from them and even involving the kids in his ploy. 

It must have been instinct, he knew that now. His wolf hadn’t been able to let go of the alpha even after Jimin had seen him off the day after the attack. He remembered the many silent arguments, the desperate tries to keep his wolf at bay. Instinct. If he had kept his distance, if Yoongi hadn’t returned to find him, would they have been able to just let this go?

It didn’t really matter. They had bonded and even though it scared the heck out of him – not to mention the confusion being able to feel someone else’s emotions brought along – he also couldn’t help but feel somewhat relieved about it. He wasn’t alone anymore. As much as it terrified him, he had Yoongi now. And Yoongi deserved to know what he was dealing with, didn’t he? The alpha had been nothing but kind to both Jimin and the lot, he was looking out for them all the time and Jimin knew he would do so much more if only he allowed him to. Which he wouldn’t, by the way. Jimin had his pride, too, after all.

But Yoongi had opened up to Jimin, had let him in and told him about his past, his current situation, his worries, struggles and fears. Even before they had bonded, Yoongi had trusted Jimin. Didn’t he deserve that Jimin at least tried to do the same for him? Even if he couldn’t tell him everything, there certainly were some things that Jimin could share with him.

Live by your own advice, Jimin quietly cheered himself on.

Pulling away from the alpha, he gathered all his courage before looking into Yoongi’s eyes.

‘Hyung’, he said quietly. ‘I want to tell you about the time I came to the river.'

Chapter Text

‘I’m a runaway.’

The quiet statement echoed unnaturally loud through the room, at least to Jimin’s own ears. The sentence seemed to bounce off the walls of his small place, coming back at him almost menacingly. Jimin winced at the unexpected force with which his own words hit him and suppressed a shiver. This was the first time he had admitted this to anyone other than his hyungs. Nobody else in the community knew anything about his past although he was quite sure they could at least guess he had run away from somewhere.

It was what Jimin had wanted back then. He had barely found it in himself to trust his hyungs in the beginning and laying himself and his past bare to everyone else had been out of question for him. He hadn’t wanted to take any risks or the inevitable pitying looks. If nobody knew, nobody could pity him, put him in a drawer, whisper about him behind his back or, worst of all, hand him over to authorities.

That had been his reasoning when he asked his hyungs to keep silent about what he shared with them. Having them know had been enough for him. They had promised to keep his past to themselves and as far as Jimin could tell, that’s exactly what they did.

It had worked out well enough. Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung had always been there when the past came back to haunt him, soothing and supporting pillars who helped him to slowly put himself back together again. Jimin didn’t think he would ever need anyone else now that he had them.

And then they had been ripped away from him as well.

It had been so sudden; so unexpected and the pain of losing them had shattered Jimin’s heart for a second time. He had sworn to himself back then that it was the last time he ever got close to anyone. If everyone he loved was taken away from him anyway he would just have to avoid ever letting someone into his heart again.

It had been hard at first. Especially in the beginning there had been times when Jimin craved nothing more than to be held close and feel protected, just like he had with his hyungs. But he only needed to remind himself of the inevitable pain that would follow if he were to let someone in again to strengthen his resolve anew. Over time, he had gotten used to being on his own, not once looking back or regretting to have chosen emotional safety over comfort.

For years, it had worked just fine. And then he had saved a stranger in an alley because his instinct just couldn’t let him turn his back on the situation and now here he was.

Bonded.

Something he never had thought possible for himself. Fate really was annoying. Why take his family away from him twice only to give him a bond partner when he had finally managed to seal himself off from everyone else to avoid further pain?

It just wasn’t fair.

But it also wouldn’t be fair to keep Yoongi in the dark about everything that was going on with Jimin. Neither of them had chosen this bond consciously, yet it had become quite obvious by now that they both wanted it. As little as Jimin knew about bonding theory, one thing he was certain of: This could only work if they were as open as they could be with each other. Especially considering the fact that Yoongi now was able to feel the pain that never seemed to subside inside of Jimin.

There were a lot of things Jimin didn’t feel ready to talk about yet. His family for example. How he had ended up in the orphanage in the first place. It had been extremely hard to tell his hyungs back then and brought along an onslaught of fresh pain, nightmares and panic attacks for the following weeks.

No, Jimin wasn’t quite ready to go through that yet again. He needed more time to prepare himself. But he wanted to tell Yoongi something, show him that he trusted him just as much as the alpha had trusted Jimin. The easiest place to start was by telling him about how he came to the river, he figured. Meeting his hyungs and learning to trust them had made him who he was today, that he was sure of. So maybe this was a good starting point.

Jimin had never told anyone about the time he had spent with his hyungs before though and he could only hope that talking about it wouldn’t be too painful. This time, he couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran through his body at the thought of sharing those trying times and precious moments and he felt Yoongi’s hold on him tighten in silent support.

They were sitting with their backs against the wall, a position Yoongi had chosen after Jimin decided to tell him more about himself. The alpha had pushed some pillows up against the concrete and gotten comfortable, holding out an arm to Jimin and the beta hadn’t hesitated to take up the silent invitation.

He had also rushed to reassure Jimin that he didn’t need to tell him anything. But Jimin was determined to at the very least give this a try. All he asked of Yoongi was not to rush him, explaining how difficult it was for him to open up about this and that he might need to take his time. To which Yoongi had been very understanding.

Of course he had been. Jimin hadn’t expected anything less from the alpha. He was the epitome of patience and understanding to Jimin. With Yoongi, he felt like maybe he could figure out how to deal with all this – the bond, opening up about himself, readjusting his mission and his future plans.

Letting someone be a part of his life again.

That last part would be the hardest and he dreaded the consequences it could have for him. But if he wanted the bond, the risk was one he would have to take. Just like he had taken it with his hyungs – only to be left even more broken than before. But he hadn’t been prepared back then. Even though he had been afraid of history repeating itself, deep down he hadn’t really believed something this cruel would happen to him twice.

This time though – this time he would be prepared. There was no way Jimin was going to delude himself yet again and believe things would last. There were too many factors that could work against him in this situation. For one, fate definitely had it in for Jimin, he already had enough proof of that. Then there was the fact that Yoongi was mated. From what he knew about the pack so far, Jimin really had his doubts that they would take to the bond situation lightly. And then there was Yoongi’s career to consider as well. If word got out about one of the members of an established pack and the country’s most successful boyband having instinctually bonded with someone like him – Jimin didn’t even want to consider the scandal that could create for Yoongi and his mates and the risk it might bring for their careers.

They would have to talk about all of this at some point and Jimin was quite sure that when they eventually got to do so, Yoongi would reassure him that everything would work out ok, that they would find a way. But Jimin had his doubts. And even if the alpha turned out to be right and they managed to solve all the issues with the pack and their career, there was still fate in this equation. And fate had never been kind to Jimin, so there was no way he would repeat his mistake from the past and get his hopes up high for this to last.

It didn’t change the fact that he wanted the bond, though. A lot more than he was willing to admit to himself. Didn’t he, too, deserve at least some resemblance of contentment, maybe even happiness? Although the latter was quite out of his reach. At this point, Jimin didn’t even know what real happiness felt like anymore. But he still fondly remembered the contentedness and quiet calm he had felt when he had lived with his hyungs. If anything he should deserve at least that much, right? Even if it was only for a short time. This bond with Yoongi was everything he had secretly longed for ever since the incident that had taken his hyungs from him. So who was he to refuse it, especially when he was so lucky to have someone as good and caring as Yoongi as his bond partner?

Jimin would take whatever he could get from this. If it lasted, which he highly doubted, then maybe with Yoongi’s help he could eventually find the real meaning of happiness again. And if it didn’t, if fate decided to play another ugly trick on him, there was still a way out just like he had planned before meeting Yoongi. Whatever fate had in store for him, this time Jimin would be prepared to deal with it. One way or the other.

Something nudged at his subconscious and made Jimin focus on his bond. His bond. He still marveled at the fact that this had even happened. It wasn’t something he had ever thought possible for himself, seeing as how much he had closed himself off from everyone else.

Paying attention to the bond now, he noticed the steady, calm reassurance thrumming through it and couldn’t help but let a small bout of affection pour over to Yoongi, which was immediately reciprocated. Once again, Yoongi’s arm around his waist tightened and Jimin decided to lean into his side, resting his head on the elder’s shoulder.

He sighed. True to his earlier word, Yoongi was giving him all the time he needed, choosing to comfort him via their bond. Jimin had to admit that it felt very nice to be comforted like that. Closing his eyes for a brief second, he braced himself for the talk they were about to have. He really needed to start talking or else they would still be sitting here when the sun went down again. Just why was it so hard to find the right words?

‘I’m a runaway’, he repeated in a low voice. ‘I ran away from an orphanage when I was thirteen years old. It just-‘, he stocked, unsure how to phrase this next part. The orphanage had never been a good place for him and it had only gotten worse the closer he got to presenting. Jimin wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about it just yet. Even his hyungs had never gotten to hear the full story of what was going on behind the doors of that place but they had learned enough from him to put two and two together. ‘It was a horrible place and when it became apparent that I would not present as an alpha, staying would have meant surrendering to their archaic structures.’

Yoongi stiffened next to him as silence settled over them and Jimin felt Yoongi battle an array of emotions over their bond, ranging from anger to concern and sadness. If he had any doubts that his rather cryptic remark about the orphanage had been understood, those were erased the moment the alpha’s emotional reaction flooded their bond.

Glancing up at the elder, he tried to give him a reassuring look. ‘I’m alright, hyung. I got out of there before things got really bad. It- it just wasn’t a good place at all.’

‘How long did you live there?’, Yoongi inquired quietly and then quickly added, ‘You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to, Jimin-ah. Don’t answer any of my questions if they are too much. You decide what and how much you can and want to share with me. I trust you, even if there might be things you can’t tell me. I hope you know that.’

Jimin nodded against the elder’s chest. ‘Thank you’, he said quietly. ‘I don’t mind answering that, though. By the time I ran away, I had been living there for almost seven years. Before that, I lived with my family.’ He squeezed his eyes shut, willing away the tears that were now threatening to fall. ‘They- I’m sorry, hyung. It’s something I don’t think I can talk about – at least not yet.’

‘Don’t apologize, Jiminie. I told you it’s alright, didn’t I?’ Yoongi’s hand was now rubbing circles on his back and Jimin began to relax, realizing that he had stiffened considerably since he had started talking.

Trying to focus on the soothing hand movement, he continued. ‘I had planned to run away for quite some time. With the way things were at that place I knew I might have to leave before presenting, so I worked on a backup plan. Probably for two years or so? I’m not completely sure anymore, to be honest. I saved up some of the money from my monthly allowance and stored a few snack bars in a backpack and when an opportunity arose one evening, I grabbed it and slipped out. I didn’t really think much about it at the time. If I had, I might have gotten doubts and lost the chance to get away. And I knew I had to leave as soon as possible – there wasn’t much time left until my presentation.’ A bitter laugh escaped Jimin. ‘I really thought I was well prepared for what would await me out here on the streets, you know?’

‘Jiminie’, Yoongi began but Jimin interrupted him by shaking his head against the alpha’s chest. ‘It’s alright, nothing happened to me, I got lucky. Can you believe that thirteen year old me really thought a handful of snack bars and some meager savings would help me survive out here? Sometimes I wonder how I could have been so naïve’, Jimin sighed before he continued. ‘It would never have been enough. Then again, I was naïve in so many ways. I ran for hours that night without any knowing where I was or having a goal in mind. By the time I reached the river, it was well into the night, I was tired and scared and exhausted and I decided to settle under one of the smaller bridges to take a break and have one of my snack bars. But when I reached into my backpack to grab one, I couldn’t find them. Nor my emergency money.’

Jimin still remembered the note he had found in his backpack instead of his reserves word by word. His roommates had never been nice to him, he had always been the lowest in their hacking order. They had established early on what they expected from him and what would await him if he were to ignore their orders. He really should have expected something like this. Still, finding the note in his backpack that night had been the last straw.

‘My roommates – they were a few years older than me and they weren’t really good people. I always did as they said to avoid getting on their bad side but – I was supposed to give them all of my allowance and I decided to secretly keep some for myself to build my emergency kit and some funds for the time when I would have to leave. I guess I should have known they would notice someday and pull something like this. The backpack was fine when I last checked it a few weeks prior to my leaving but that night – all I found inside was a note from them telling me not to ever forget my place with them again.’

Concern and anger once again found their way into their bond and Jimin couldn’t help but smile a little at how protective Yoongi seemed to be of him. It was a nice to know someone cared for him enough to be upset over something that happened years ago, he had to admit that much. The last time he had felt this cared for and protected had been when his hyungs had still been around. How they had found the patience to put up with him for months when he had done nothing but push them away and refuse to trust them was still beyond him even today.

In an attempt to calm Yoongi’s upset emotions, he placed one of his hands firmly on the elder’s chest and applied some pressure. ‘Again, I’m alright, hyung’, he said soothingly. ‘I won’t lie and say it didn’t bother me because it did. It bothered me to the point where I went into a panic attack. But as much as I want to hate my roommates for doing this and putting me into that awful situation, I can’t really do that. Because without that happening, I might never have found my hyungs. Or rather, they would never have found me.’

‘Your hyungs’, Yoongi repeated gently. ‘Junseo and Hajun, right? I think you mentioned them to me once or twice before.’

Jimin nodded. ‘They found me that night under the bridge, having a full-blown panic attack…’

-----

The boy didn’t know how long he had been sitting under the bridge, lost in his panic attack but at some point he realized that there was a hand rubbing up and down his back, another carding through his hair. Gently. He had no idea when it had started or who it was but it felt comforting. Warm.

Subconsciously, he leaned into the hand touching his hair. How much he had missed being comforted like this. Even if it was just a dream, he was going to savor every second of it. Nobody had ever shown him even the slightest bit of affection since he had to move into the orphanage. 

The orphanage – 

He jolted upright, eyes blown wide, hands coming up in front of him protectively. Almost immediately the hands disappeared. The boy stared at the two men illuminated by a flashlight, one in front of him, one slightly to his left. 

Who were they? What did they want from him? 

Scrambling around he tried to get up, to get away from the two strangers who had him cornered under this stupid bridge. A hand on his forearm held him back. Again, gently. He couldn’t help but take notice of that.

‘Shh, it’s ok, we’re not here to hurt you’, one of the men soothed.

The boy wanted to laugh at that. Why would he believe them? Everyone always was out to hurt him, the last seven years had taught him that well. He shook his head, averting his eyes.

‘I’m Junseo and this is Hajun’, the man in front of him said. The one who was still keeping his hand on the boy’s arm. ‘We were on our way home when we saw you sitting here all by yourself. It didn’t feel right to leave you like this so we decided to check on you. We don’t mean any harm, I promise.’

There was something in the man’s voice that made the boy look up and meet his eyes. He stared at him for a long time, searching for any trace of malice, a sign that he was lying. He couldn’t find anything but sincerity. Slowly, he moved his gaze to stare at the other man, the one called Hajun. Once again, he was met with warmth and a compassionate smile. Maybe they really meant it, he thought, relaxing slightly. 

Junseo released his grip on the boy’s arm.

‘Will you tell us your name?’, he asked. The boy shook his head, immediately on guard again. Hajun gave Junseo a playful whack over the head that made the boy stare at the two of them with wide blown eyes. 

‘Don’t be stupid, of course he won’t!’, he huffed. ‘I wouldn’t either if I were in his place.’

Junseo rubbed his head, grinning sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, that was a dumb question, huh?’ The boy continued staring at the two strangers, unsure what to make of this whole situation. Junseo let out a soft sigh. ‘If you can’t tell us your name, maybe you can give us a nickname? Or a fake name? Just something we can call you by?’

The boy pondered that. He could just say nothing but what good would that do? If they really wanted to know his real name they had ways to get it from him for sure. Maybe if he gave them a fake one they would be satisfied for now and leave him alone.

‘Ji’, he mumbled, averting his eyes again and thus missing the bright smiles that appeared on the two strangers’ faces. ‘Ji’, Hajun repeated softly. ‘I guess it’s safe to say that we are older than you, huh? You can call us hyungs if you want to.’ 

Ji’s eyes snapped up to the two men again. Were they for real? They didn’t even know him, why on earth would they offer something like that? Ji had never had any hyungs. At home he had been a hyung to his younger brother. At the orphanage he had been an outsider from the moment he got there. Nobody had ever wanted to be his hyung before. Why would these two men offer something like that when they were total strangers?

Seeing his look of disbelief, Junseo chuckled. 

‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But if you do, we’d be quite happy with you calling us hyungs. It’s all up to you.’ 

‘You don’t have to decide now’, Hajun added, sending the boy another smile.

They fell silent for a while as Ji pondered what they had said. He didn’t trust these men. Not at all. But so far, they also had done nothing to hurt him. Something tugged at his heart at the thought of having hyungs. He wondered what it would be like to have someone looking out for him like that. Still, he couldn’t just consider them his hyungs out of nowhere. Not without knowing more about them first. Maybe once he did, he would reconsider.

‘Ok’, he eventually said, having settled on this noncommittal answer and once again the two men smiled at him.

‘Do you have somewhere to go, Ji?’, Hajun asked, giving him a knowing look. 

There it was, Ji thought. The dreaded question. What was he supposed to say to this? Would they turn him over to authorities if he told the truth? Would they take advantage of him? What if he lied? Would they insist on seeing him home safely? Maybe even ask to speak to his parents? His breath became faster as he pondered his options, panic settling in again.

The hand returned to rub circles on his back. ‘It’s ok’, Hajun whispered. ‘You don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to. I bet we can guess.’ There was a short pause before he continued. ‘You ran away, didn’t you?’

Ji froze. Was it that obvious? What would they do now? He couldn’t go back, he just couldn’t.

‘P- please’, he choked out, desperate to let them know that he would do anything, anything, if they didn’t inform authorities about his whereabouts. Junseo took his hands. They were so big, Ji noticed. So big and so warm. Soothing.

‘Ji, listen to me’, Junseo said, staring into his eyes. ‘Hajun and I are not going to judge you for anything. If you ran away, you probably had a very good reason. We know how cruel the world can be, we have had our own share as well.’

Hajun nodded. ‘We aren’t asking you these questions to screw you over, Ji. But you can’t stay out here by yourself. It’s not safe at all and it also doesn’t look like you are prepared to stay out on the streets either.’

Ji blinked. What were they even getting at? He knew it wasn’t safe out here but at least it was better than staying at the orphanage. What else was he supposed to do? Yes, he had planned for things to go differently and no, he didn’t know what to do without his savings and snacks, but he wouldn’t go back.

He couldn’t go back.

‘I won’t go back’, he said determinedly.

Junseo grinned at him. ‘We didn’t expect you to. But it’s a fact that you can’t stay out here. Hajun and I, we aren’t exactly living the normal life as well you know? We have a place to stay but it’s not what people would call a home, it lacks a certain comfort. Although to us it is a home.’

Hajun laughed. ‘Just say it already, hyung. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.’ He looked at Ji. ‘Junseo-hyung and I do have a place to stay but essentially we are homeless, Ji.’

Ji stared at them. They were homeless? How could that be true? They didn’t look like it at all. He took in their clean clothes and faces, wondering what he was missing.

Hajun chuckled. ‘I know we don’t look like it. You’ll understand better once you get to know our community.’ 

Once he got to know what? Ji was confused. What were they talking about? He was trying so hard to follow them but whatever they were trying to tell him just seemed to slip right past him.

‘I- I don’t understand’, he mumbled, eyes darting between the two men, unsure what was happening.

Again, Junseo smiled sheepishly and gave him an understanding nod. ‘We don’t make much sense, do we? I’m sorry, we can get carried away a bit sometimes. What we are trying to say is…’, he gave Ji’s hands a gentle squeeze. ‘You can stay with us, Ji. It’s not a super comfortable home and it doesn’t have electricity or running water but it’s dry and warm enough and there’s enough room for one more person for sure.’

Ji blinked. Had they just offered him a place to stay? A – home – as they called it? He hadn’t had a home since he was seven years old, not since it had been ripped away from him. And now these two strangers were offering to share theirs with him? A home. He had longed for a home for so long…

He shook his head. No. He couldn’t.

‘I can’t. I have nothing, I can’t give you anything, I-‘

‘Ji’, Hajun interrupted him, gently but firmly. ‘We aren’t asking for you to give us anything. For now, we will take care of you until you feel up to helping us out with tasks. You can choose what you want to do, too. There is a whole community out here at the river where people like us and people like you live. Social dropouts and runaways. We all look out for each other, it’s a system of co-dependency. Everyone helps out when and where they can: building homes or crafting things, fishing, running errands, scavenging, cooking, teaching or watching the kids. There’s a lot to do all the time, you can take your time to figure out what you like to do. I promise there’s no shady business going on around here. We are not like this.’

‘You can have a place in this community, if you want to, Ji. The question is: Do you want to?’

He stared at them. Not only were they offering him a home, but also the safety of a whole community? They didn’t even know him, just why would they do something like that? He really didn’t understand.

‘Why?’, he whispered. ‘You don’t know me at all. Why would you help me without asking any questions? What’s in it for you? What do you want from me in return?’

Junseo sighed. ‘There’s nothing in it for us. Does there have to be? You need help and we can give it to you. At least to a certain extend.’ 

Hajun nodded. ‘Ji, we all have been in a similar situation before. None of us ended up here at the river just for fun. It’s because we help each other out like this that we manage survive. We received this help ourselves a long time ago, too. Now we are offering it to you. And who knows, maybe someday you will offer it to somebody else, too. This is how things work out here for us. Don’t worry, you will learn and understand quickly.’

Ji pondered that for quite a while, grateful that Junseo and Hajun weren’t pressuring him into making a decision. They simply sat with him, waiting for him to make up his mind, occasionally running a soothing hand over his back. 

He closed his eyes. What did he have to lose? If he stayed out here on his own he would probably not make it for long. Not without his emergency money – which hadn’t been much to begin with. And he most definitely didn’t want to go back. He would rather die than go back. So far, the solution these two men had offered him seemed to be the least horrible out of all his options. 

Still though – could he really trust them? What if they were lying or even worse, what if he couldn’t adapt to this community at all? What would happen if he wanted out? What if they demanded for him to pay them back before letting him go?

As if reading his mind, Junseo turned to look at him. ‘We forgot to say: You can leave anytime, Ji. Even without having done anything in return. If you figure that this isn’t the place for you to be, you are free to move on. Nobody is going to force you to stay.’

It did the trick. Somehow, hearing this eased Ji’s mind. Whether it was true or not, the fact that they were offering him a way out in the first place was thoughtful. It made him think that they might actually tell the truth. They seemed to know what was going on inside of him so maybe they really did have similar experiences.

He looked up at them, taking in the warm expressions on their faces once more. It was almost as if they cared for him, he thought bewildered. But why would they? He was a total stranger to them, they didn’t even know him.

‘I don’t trust you’, he stated flatly. ‘But I- I have nowhere else to go, so…’, he trailed off, unsure how to phrase his desire to just feel safe when he couldn’t even say for sure the men had no ulterior motives with him.

They gave him the brightest smiles, making him think he had done something important. It was weird but it also felt kind of – nice? It was a new experience for Ji but he wouldn’t mind a repeat of it.

‘You don’t have to trust us. It’s only natural that you don’t. Trust requires time and getting to know each other, so you take all the time you need. And if you discover along the way that you don’t want to stay, you can leave, I promise you that. We’d still be your hyungs even then’, Junseo said, getting up and reaching for Ji’s backpack.

Hajun offered Ji a hand, pulling him up before squeezing his hand, gently tugging him along. 

‘Come on, Ji. Let’s go home.’

-----

When Jimin finished his recount of how he had met his hyungs for the first time, silence engulfed them. Yoongi couldn’t even begin to imagine how terrified the younger must have been back then, being out on the streets by himself, not knowing where he was or where to go, finding his emergency stash gone and suddenly faced with two strangers whose intentions he couldn’t gauge. Jimin was only thirteen back then, damn it.

If it had been Yoongi in that situation, he wasn’t sure what he would have done. Would he have gone with the strangers like Jimin had decided to do? From his adult perspective it had been a huge risk to take. Anything could have happened to Jimin. What if those two had turned out to have ill intentions? What if they had been gang members? Jimin had been lucky to have come across people who genuinely meant well.

Then again, would staying out there by himself have been any safer? Yoongi frowned as he realized that Jimin had literally been stuck between a rock and a hard place back then. Going with two strangers had been dangerous, there was no denying that. But staying out in the streets without any means to support himself, as a thirteen year old kid on top of that, most likely would not have been any safer.

On the contrary.

Now that Yoongi thought about it, Jimin might have stood a better chance against the two strangers than against whatever might have awaited him out there. Even though Yoongi only came to Seoul several years ago even he knew that gang violence had been extremely high in the city about ten years ago. And even before that. There had been constant fights between the two strongest gangs over the top position in their hacking order which often involved innocent bystanders. It got better once one of them finally established themselves on top around the time Yoongi arrived in Seoul. Somehow they seemed to have come to an agreement, having distributed most city districts amongst themselves.

Well, until one of them got taken down earlier this year.

It happened so fast and unexpectedly. A sudden, thorough raid of dozens of places at the same time and countless arrests left behind almost nothing of the gang that had once so proudly called themselves Infernos. How it was pulled off remained a mystery. Media had reported thoroughly about the raids, arrests and trials but no information was leaked on how the whole operation had come to be. Yoongi had talked about it with his mates, of course. Everyone had talked about it. A lot of work and preparation must have gone into the whole spiel, especially considering the fact that among those arrested had also been several police officers and city officials. The scandal had been huge.

Seoul had become a lot safer afterwards. So much so that it had lulled Yoongi into a false sense of safety that night when he had decided to just walk home. He almost scoffed at his own ignorance. How naïve he had been to believe nothing would happen. Just because gang fights had become more or less non-existent over recent years and one gang was taken out, didn’t make it any less dangerous. There was still a gang around after all - and the strongest one on top of that. He had been reminded of this fact the hard way.

No, the streets of Seoul weren’t safe even today. Back when Jimin had run from his orphanage the situation had been ten times worse, though. Yoongi couldn’t blame the beta for having run away. If he understood what he had implied about the orphanage correctly, that place was horrid and disgusting. He had had no idea that things like this were happening behind the closed doors of facilities which were meant to keep children safe. If Jimin ever felt comfortable enough to tell him more about this, he might have to look into means to get it shut down. Surely there must be something one could do about places like that.

Yoongi had no idea what exactly Jimin had experienced at the orphanage but he decided to trust the younger when he told him that nothing too bad had happened to him; that he had gotten out before that. Anger rushed through him at the idea of anyone harming his bond mate in any way, especially that way. No wonder Jimin had been so understanding about what he went through after the assault. He knew what Yoongi was talking about.

And not only that. He knew about the loneliness Yoongi felt after being expelled from his pack as well, Yoongi realized. Jimin hadn’t told him about his family but it was more than obvious to him that the younger had lost them around the age of six or seven. And then he had lost his hyungs at some point, too. How could one person carry so much grief at such a young age?

No wonder he had shut everyone out. Yoongi had tried to do the same after losing his pack and coming to Seoul, desperate to prevent himself from getting hurt again. It had already been hard for him to open up again and let his mates in. Just how hard must it be for Jimin, who had gone through so much more and at a much younger age, too? Yoongi’s heart went out to the younger and he couldn’t help but reach out and pull Jimin into a tight hug.

‘Hyung?’, Jimin whispered, sounding surprised but his arms came up to hug the elder back. Yoongi hummed in affirmation but stayed silent for a moment longer, concern and affection for the beta pouring into their bond and making Jimin grab onto him a little tighter.

Eventually, the continued silence made Jimin fidget in his hold. ‘Yoongi-hyung?’, he asked again, pulling away a little to look at the elder. Yoongi gave him a soft smile. Maybe he had let the silence stretch on for a little too long.

‘I’m sorry you had to go through that, Jiminie’, he stated quietly, holding up a hand when Jimin looked like he wanted to interrupt him. ‘You shouldn’t have. It isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair in so many ways, isn’t it?’ He chuckled humorlessly and reached out to take Jimin’s hands in his own. ‘You’re really strong, you know that, Jimin-ah? I admire that a lot. You were so smart to see through what was happening at that orphanage and run away. I’m sure you did the right thing back then, making your own safety your priority. It must have been really hard, hm?’

Tears were brimming in Jimin’s eyes and he tried to blink them away but Yoongi held a hand to his cheek and shook his head. ‘It’s ok to cry, Jiminie. You told me, didn’t you? Showing emotions is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. You’re being so strong to tell me all this. I know how hard it is to let someone in. It’s scary because it means risking to be hurt again.’

The tears were falling freely now and Yoongi moved a thumb over Jimin’s cheek, catching some of them and wiping them away. ‘I’m scared of that, too, you know? I’m always scared of being hurt again, of losing what is most important to me. My mates, my career – and now you, Jiminie.’

Jimin’s breath hitched at that and he stared up at Yoongi with wide eyes. Yoongi smiled at him. ‘You’re important to me, Jiminie. More important than I could ever put into words. I wouldn’t even be here without you. We found each other under really unfortunate circumstances but I wouldn’t change a thing about that night even if I could because it would mean I wouldn’t ever meet you. It’s scary, I know. Opening up and getting attached, letting in the possibility of getting hurt again. I’m scared, too, so maybe we can just be scared together, hm? You’re not alone anymore, Jiminie.’

A sob escaped Jimin before he threw himself into the elder’s arms, clinging to him as though his life depended on him. Yoongi was quick to catch him, holding him close as he cried, murmuring sweet nothing’s into his ear. There wasn’t much else he could do at this point. He knew Jimin’s pain, loneliness and fears couldn’t just be erased like this but he could offer to walk this path with him, to become his pillar. Something the younger was in desperate need of. He had been so strong for himself and the kids for so long but who had taken care of him after his hyungs had died? It must have been unbelievably hard to deal with all of this all by himself. There was no way Yoongi would let him continue to walk that path of isolation and solitude.

It took a while for Jimin to compose himself again but eventually he pulled back with a small sniff, reaching over the foot end of mattress to reach for a pack of tissues. When he finished cleaning his face, he turned back to Yoongi with a small smile. ‘Thank you, hyung.’

Yoongi smiled back as he shook his head. ‘No need to thank me, Jimin-ah. In fact, I should thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Starting with that night back in the alley until right now – you have no idea how much you’ve been helping me.’ He grinned when he saw that Jimin was trying to protest. ‘Don’t even try. I know you’re going to say it’s what people do but trust me, I know a lot of people and most would have just turned their backs on the situation, not wanting to get involved. So, thank you, Jiminie. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for being so strong and thank you for wanting this bond with me.’

Seeing fresh tears pool in Jimin’s eyes he decided to lighten the mood and smirked at him. ‘You’re the best person I could have wished for to instinctually bond with, you know? Even though you can be quite a brat at times.’

Letting out an indignant squeak, Jimin gawked at him. ‘I’m not a brat!’, he exclaimed before throwing himself at Yoongi, making both of them falling backwards onto the mattress. ‘You take that back!’

Yoongi grinned and flipped them over, pinning the younger’s hands to the mattress by keeping a strong hold on his wrists. ‘And what if I don’t?’

‘I-‘, Jimin tried to free himself to no avail, letting out an annoyed huff at being unable to fight back. ‘I will become a real brat. Just wait for it, kitty-hyung.’

‘Kitty-what?’, Yoongi asked, frowning down at Jimin in confusion.

‘Kitty-hyung’, Jimin replied solemnly. ‘Because you look like a cat and I’m apparently a brat so I shall call you that from now on. Oh, I bet the lot will love this!’ He giggled at the horrified look on Yoongi’s face, taking advantage of the loosened grip on his wrists to free himself and wriggle out from under Yoongi.

‘I take it back, you’re not a brat. As long as you don’t call me that again and don’t tell the kids. Deal?’, Yoongi offered, sitting up as well and holding out a hand to him. Jimin grinned as he shook it. ‘Deal’, he agreed. In a swift movement he once again went in to hug Yoongi. ‘Thank you for cheering me up, hyung.’

Yoongi had this effect on him, he realized. He could drag him out of the lowest mood without needing to do much at all. It had been a long time since anyone had been able to get to Jimin like that. Not even his hyungs had been as effective as Yoongi even though they had always done their absolute best for him.

Thinking about his hyungs sobered him up quickly. He had done it, he thought with relief. He had told Yoongi about how he met them and it hadn’t even hurt as much as he had it expected to. Probably because throughout his story he had been able to feel Yoongi’s affection and reassurance over their bond. The memories had come back to Jimin like a flashback when he had talked to the elder but he wasn’t left feeling empty and drained as he had feared. Instead, he felt the weird urge to continue his story.

‘Hyung?’, he murmured quietly. Yoongi let out a questioning hum in response, looking up at him with a softness in his eyes that made Jimin feel warm all over. ‘Would- would you like to know what they were like? My hyungs? I-‘, he stopped, suddenly realizing he never told Yoongi that Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung weren’t around anymore. ‘I-, they- There was an accident a few years ago. They didn’t – they are gone now and I-‘, he swallowed and averted his eyes for a few seconds, gathering his courage. Feeling Yoongi’s silent support over the bond, he took a deep breath. He could do this. ‘I don’t think I can tell you about that but- if you’d like to know – I could tell you what happened after they took me in?’

Yoongi gave him a soft smile. ‘Of course, Jiminie. I’d love to hear about them.’

Chapter Text

They had messed up. There was no other way to put it, they all knew it.

And now Yoongi was gone.

Knowing that you screwed up but not being able to do anything to fix the situation was not only deeply unsettling but also unbelievably frustrating. Especially when you didn’t even have any means to get in touch with the person you hurt.

Which was exactly the situation the pack was finding themselves in at this point. Their plan on making Yoongi turn back to them by showing him the cold shoulder and making him miss them had backfired badly. How could they have forgotten about the promise they had given him; the promise that he had always taken extremely seriously and that obviously meant so much to him?

The guilt and regret about that still rippled through their bond strongly the day following Yoongi’s outburst and flight from the apartment. If only it could reach him so he would at the very least know that they knew they messed up; that they were sorry and aching to make things right again.

But that, too, was impossible at this point. Yoongi’s wolf had shut them out not long after leaving the night before. Their bond felt strangely void without their alpha mate’s emotions and all of them had a very hard time coming to terms with it.

Looking around the living room where they once again had gathered after a sleepless night and a forced down breakfast, Namjoon let out a sigh. All they had wanted was to make up with Yoongi. Just how had things turned out like this? Where had things gone so wrong?

Now that he thought about it, nothing had gone as expected at all. It had started the moment Yoongi had finally come back home and faced them in the living room. At that point they had already been quite agitated, Namjoon had to admit that much. But wasn’t that due to Yoongi’s own fault in the first place? He had been the one to disappear on them without a word, leaving them hanging for two days even though he had told them he would meet them at home that night.

After their beach getaway they had been waiting for Yoongi to return home for almost two days, not knowing where he was and unable to reach him. Even now just thinking about the other ignoring them like that slightly agitated Namjoon. Who did he think he was, leaving his pack, his mates hanging like that for so long? That just wasn’t how things worked in their relationship, he should know that they always talked things out. In a relationship with so many people, communicating any issues one might have with one another was key. Namjoon really couldn’t blame his pack for having been in a sour mood after being ghosted by Yoongi.

Of course they had been upset about that. All they had wanted had been one single day away from the strained situation Yoongi himself had put them in after he was attacked that night. Was that too much to ask for? Didn’t they deserve a break and a chance to recharge their energies as well?

Granted, they had forgotten about their phones and his messages had gone unnoticed but really – who could blame them for that? It hadn’t been on purpose and they had returned home determined to apologize for that and to make things right again with their mate. It was Yoongi who hadn’t been there then despite having told them he’d be home that night.

Besides, the night Yoongi had been attacked, his phone had been smashed and they, too, didn’t have any way to reach him other than their bond. And when they tried that one out, it took Yoongi forever to respond because he had been too lost in his panic attack to even notice they were reaching out to him. Surely he should have understood that sometimes it just happened that one couldn’t answer right away, right?

All of those thoughts had been shared between them during those two days of waiting for Yoongi to return home. The more they talked about it, the more aggravated they got, Namjoon realized now. They had talked themselves into a frenzy and by the time Yoongi finally did come back all of them were more than eager to bring their point across.

The first shock had come when Yoongi talked back to them. Instead of answering their question about his whereabouts he had countered it by asking them the same, demanding an explanation from them. Why did he think he had a right to ask about their getaway in the first place? If it hadn’t been for him they never would have had to take that day off in the first place. It was Yoongi who had put them all into this situation and now he thought he had a right to be upset about the result?

Namjoon thought he was being quite lenient by actually answering the question when he really didn’t have to, telling Yoongi about the beach trip and fully expecting for the elder to answer their question as well. But again Yoongi had surprised them by refusing to tell them where he himself had been.

That had aggravated them even more. Yoongi had never talked back to them before, had never refused to answer their questions. Seeing him do so now, after having turned off his phone on them, had been both unexpected and unpleasant to say the least. 

It hadn’t taken long for all of them to realize that something was seriously going wrong after that. When they hadn’t answered his follow-up questions, Yoongi had turned to leave again. Not once ever since they had begun courting had Yoongi been ok with leaving his mates behind like that. The Yoongi they knew would have done anything to keep the peace between them, to fix the situation and keep them all close. Seeing him turn to leave had been extremely unsettling.

Trying to stop him hadn’t worked the way they hoped, though. At that point, all they wanted was for him to explain himself; explain the reason for breaking his promise. They had been aghast when Yoongi exploded on them. His words cut deep. None of them had even realized that by ignoring him they were the ones who broke their promise first. The revelation had come as a complete shock and they hadn’t been able to do anything other than to listen as the alpha unraveled, his pain and hurt evident not only in his voice and on his face but also in their bond.

None of them had known what to say afterwards. Guilt had begun to build in them as they realized just how much they had unintentionally hurt their mate. And they had been desperate to make this right, to reassure Yoongi and hold him close. But when Jin reached out to him Yoongi lost his last bit of composure and yelled at him to not touch him. It froze all of them into place, completely at loss as to what to do now.

They had gravitated to each other naturally, trying to find comfort in one another like they always had and for a moment Yoongi’s presence had drifted to the back of their minds. Until they heard him choke out a plea and realized that he was on the phone with someone. 

Yoongi had looked so devastated at that moment. Pale as a ghost he had barely been keeping himself together, choked sobs escaping him every now and then. His face had been twisted in pain but the worst had been the look in his eyes. He had mostly kept them squeezed shut but glanced up every now and then, looking around the room frantically. They had been horrified when they noticed how dull and empty his eyes had been. Namjoon shuddered involuntarily as he thought back to this. 

Had it really been them who caused that?

They followed the phone call with wide eyes, not sure what to make of it. Yoongi barely said a word but by the time he ended the call he seemed to have regained some of his composure. Whoever he had talked to apparently had been able to calm him down at least a little bit.

It wasn’t that they didn’t want to say something. They wanted to reach out, apologize for breaking their promise and hurting him, hold him close and fix things. But the alpha’s earlier outburst had made them so wary that none of them dared to approach him, afraid of upsetting him even more.

And so they stayed silent until Yoongi eventually left the room.

None of them had known what to do next and so they simply hoped to be able to fix things once everyone calmed down. Especially Yoongi. The alpha had always been considerate and understanding, eager to keep peace, afraid to lose his pack. They didn’t even recognize the person they had faced just now but they reckoned that once he had time to cool off and calm down they would be able to get through to him. Breaking their promise to him hadn’t been intentional, it had been an accident. They never meant to hurt him like that. Surely Yoongi would understand that. He wouldn’t want things to stay unresolved between them seeing how much he hated being at odds with them. All they needed was a chance to explain once their mate had calmed down and they would most likely be able to fix things with him.

It hadn’t come to that though, Namjoon thought bitterly.

Instead they had been shocked yet again when they spotted their mate leaving their apartment with a travel bag in his hand. Desperate to stop him they hurried to follow him outside, determined to make him stay. There was no way he would really want to leave like this, with things between them unresolved. Losing his pack was something he would never risk. It upset them to see that they had driven him to a point where he was willing to leave but they had still been confident that they could stop him.

Until they had seen the six people on the sidewalk outside of their apartment complex. At first they hadn’t even noticed someone was there, too focused on getting Yoongi’s attention. But then their mate had walked straight out of the property gates and approached the group, immediately being pulled into a hug and, even worse, hugging back tightly. They had watched him cling to the stranger as though his life depended on him, his face burrowing into the man’s neck.

Their pleas for him to stay had died on their lips at the sight.

Who even were these people?

As far as they knew, Yoongi had no close ties to anyone but them. Especially not here in Seoul. They were the ones he turned to for comfort when he was feeling bad; they were the ones he loved to hold close and cuddle with. They were his home, his family, his pack. It had been this way for years, ever since he had accepted their courtship.

So who were these people who acted like Yoongi was theirs? How dared they hold him close and comfort him when that task fell to them as his mates?

Silently they watched the scene unfold in front of them until eventually the group turned to leave. It had felt weird to watch; unnerving to see how in tune and at ease these six strangers were with each other and with Yoongi. If they had witnessed a scene like that in any other situation they would have come to the conclusion that they had encountered a pack caring for their mate. 

Only, it wasn’t. It simply couldn’t be.

Yoongi was their mate, they were his pack. The whole situation had just felt completely wrong and out of control and they hadn’t been able to do anything but stare after the group, silently begging Yoongi to turn around to at the very least look at them. But Yoongi never did. Instead he had rested his head on the stranger’s shoulder and allowed himself to be led away.

After that, they stayed silent for the longest time. There hadn’t been anything to say. Guilt, sorrow and regret had rippled through their bond in what seemed like endless, painful waves.

Making their way to the pack room on instinct they quickly realized that they couldn’t stay there after what had just happened. Being in there without Yoongi when they had no idea if the alpha would even return to them was just too much.

Eventually, they ended up in Namjoon’s bedroom, five men curled around each other on a way too small bed. It hadn’t mattered, sleep didn’t come. Taehyung hadn’t stopped crying ever since the confrontation with Yoongi in the living room and in the safety of Namjoon’s bed it hadn’t taken long for Jungkook to lose his composure again as well.

Their older mates had done their best to console them, releasing soothing pheromones, holding them close and murmuring empty reassurances. What could they even tell them at this point? None of them had any idea who the people Yoongi had left with were, what their intentions were with him, why he looked so comfortable around them – or if he would return to them.

Things only got worse when they realized that Yoongi was spiraling into another panic attack fast and once again there was nothing they could do for him. Desperation, anguish, sorrow and panic washed over them wave after wave and just like during the night Yoongi had been attacked they felt helpless and powerless. Again they had no idea where he was and again there was no way they could help him. Just like before they tried to reassure him over their bond, showing him that they were sorry and didn’t mean it, sending him their love but quickly refrained from it when they noticed him panicking even more.

Had they just unintentionally fueled their mate’s panic? 

‘Stop’, Namjoon had forced out, voice uncharacteristically harsh.

They had followed his command, sharing wide-eyed looks at the revelation that apparently the cause of this panic attack was them. Trying to keep their own emotions in check as much as possible so as not to agitate Yoongi further they waited for the attack to pass, secretly hoping that the people he had left with would be able to help him, no matter how much they despised them at this moment.

And then suddenly there had been nothing.

One moment they had been flooded with their mate’s panic and pain and the next all they felt was their own overwhelming guilt, regret and worry. Hoseok had been the first to realize it, pointing it out with a very unsteady voice.

‘I can’t feel him anymore’, he suddenly whispered, making all of them reach out for their bond, searching for any traces of Yoongi’s emotions, however badly they might shake them up.

But there had been nothing, not even the slightest trace.

Yoongi wasn’t present in their bond anymore.

It had sent shivers down their spines.

Bonds were a tricky thing. Back when the wolf side had still been more dominant they had been more or less incontrollable. Once bonded, the bonded partners had become open books to one another, their emotions constantly and steadily flowing through their bond unfiltered, keeping each other updated on the other’s moods and serving as both a warning system in dangerous situations and as a way to get even closer to each other.

That was in the past, though.

With the development of stronger human senses, people had slowly learned to take control of their bonds and regain some of their emotional privacy. Nowadays a bond shared everyday emotions like a very calm and barely noticeable undercurrent – unless a bond partner purposefully tapped into it to feel out what was going on. People had much more control over which emotions they shared, too. The only exception were sudden and strong emotions, which still came through unfiltered and couldn’t be subdued, probably to keep the warning system function of the bond intact. Just like the panic attack Yoongi had apparently gone through just now.

To feel nothing at all though – it was possible but it was also rarely ever heard of.

‘I think he shut us out’, Seokjin finally verbalized what they all thought but didn’t dare to say out loud. They stared at each other in shock.

Shutting someone out of their shared bond was seen as the last resort a wolf could take to protect themselves from unwanted or unwelcome attention. It happened on instinct and subconsciously when a bond partner was hurting or unable to deal with their bond anymore. Mostly, this was the case with accidental or forced matings but there were reports of cases in which a shut out had happened because of pack differences as well. With packs usually being very harmonious and close-knit that was a very rare occurrence, though.

It had been a serious shock, knowing that Yoongi’s wolf felt unsafe or insecure enough around them to shut down his bond with them. Especially since they were very aware of how much the alpha feared losing his pack. Just how much strain had they put him under to make his wolf act out like this? 

As unsettling as the situation was, there was nothing they could do at that point. They had no idea where Yoongi was and his phone had been turned off again. All they could do was wait for Yoongi’s wolf to hopefully let them back in when he had time to calm down. If and when that would happen was out of their control, they knew that very well. Shut outs could go on until a bond faded or be subconsciously reversed once the wolf who had initiated them felt safe enough to deal with their bond again.

They had spent the rest of the night huddled as close together as possible, comforting each other as good as they could under the circumstances. It had been the most desperate night of his life, Namjoon thought with a grimace and he was sure that it was the same for his mates. 

None of them had held any hope for Yoongi to be back this morning, yet they all felt disappointed when he really didn’t show up. Breakfast had been a silent affair. They probably wouldn’t even have eaten anything at all if Jin hadn’t insisted, threatening to force-feed them if they didn’t finish their plates.  

Heaving a deep sigh, Namjoon forced himself to look around the living room, taking in his mates who were cuddled up with him on their sofa. It was a tight fit but none of them wanted to be alone at this point and their pack bed still seemed even more wrong without Yoongi than before.

His mates looked drawn, he noticed, taking in the dark shadows under their eyes and how deathly pale they all were. Jungkook’s and Taehyung’s eyes were still red and swollen from crying through the night. Namjoon doubted he himself looked any better than his mates. There were no traces left of the happiness and relaxation their beach getaway had gotten them. It was hard to believe that it had only been three days since then. They had hoped to get away from the stressful situation with Yoongi. Instead, everything had gotten so much worse. 

It was weird not to be able to feel Yoongi through their bond. Even though in everyday life they didn’t consciously take notice of each other’s emotions all the time, something was definitely missing now. Their bond felt subdued, silent and strangely void even though their own guilt, fear, desperation and regret still ran rampant through it. 

Everything just felt so wrong.

‘I hate this’, Hoseok growled through clenched teeth, finally breaking the silence that had engulfed them almost all morning. ‘I hate it so much.’

Seokjin shifted next to him, pulling the younger into a side-hug. ‘I hate it, too’, he said dejectedly. ‘The bond feels so weird.’

‘I miss Yoongi-hyung.’ Jungkook looked close to tears again. Taehyung nodded, not faring much better. Their bond had never felt this uncomfortable before.

‘Is there really nothing we can do?’, Taehyung mused, desperately trying to find something to ground himself; to ground all of them. There had to be something they could do, they couldn’t just sit around like this and wait.

Namjoon shook his head. ‘First of all, we have no idea where hyung even is now. Searching for him would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Plus, if we went out to look for him and he were to actually come home we’d miss him yet again and we can’t risk that.’

‘We could check his studio again’, Jungkook suggested, eager expression falling when he saw the dejected looks in his hyungs’ eyes at the suggestion. 

‘He probably won’t be there.’ Hoseok took out his phone nevertheless and rang up the company anyway. As expected, Yoongi hadn’t shown up. When he hang up, he let out a sigh. ‘I would have been surprised if he had come in to be honest. It’s obvious that we would search for him at the studio or anywhere at the company and he seems dead set on avoiding us right now.’

That made them fall silent again. The thought of Yoongi being so hurt and upset that he was willingly avoiding his pack, them, hurt badly. What hurt even worse though was the knowledge that Yoongi was almost certainly spending his time with six other people right now. It was a thought that they didn’t need to voice, they all could tell they were thinking the same by the uneasiness and slight aggravation and irritation that suddenly swept over them.

It really wasn’t nice having to deal with their bond right now. No wonder Yoongi had resorted to shutting them out, Namjoon thought bitterly.

‘Do you think they are a pack?’, Taehyung knew he didn’t have to specify who he was talking about. It was a question that most definitely had been on all of their minds ever since they saw the group on the sidewalk the night before.

‘Did you see how in tune they all seemed with each other? They didn’t even speak and still seemed to be of one mind. They complemented each other’s actions so well. I don’t think it would be possible to harmonize like that without sharing a bond to guide each other.’

They turned Seokjin’s observation over in their minds. It was true, the group had complemented each other extremely well judging from the little bit of interaction they had witnessed. Until now they had thought their pack was like this, too. A thought that they definitely couldn’t uphold anymore, not with having been shut out by their own mate.

Hoseok sighed. There was no avoiding this, someone had to address it. He knew it was on all of their minds anyway. ‘You do have a point, they did act like a pack. Even with Yoongi-hyung.’

The reaction to his words was immediate. Annoyance and anger took over their bond and their mood changed from dejected to irritated.

‘Just who do they think they are, coming after someone who is mated and has a pack like that?’, Jungkook hissed. ‘Yoongi-hyung is our mate, we are his pack.’

‘They might be in tune with each other but they certainly lack pack etiquette. Getting this close to someone who is mated and has a pack is uncalled for’, Seokjin agreed grimly. 

‘Did you see how comfortable hyung seemed to be with them? Especially the one who hugged him.’ Taehyung couldn’t forget about that. Yoongi wasn’t someone who opened up easily to others, he didn’t show affection like that with just anyone. His past experience had scarred him, they all were well aware of that. It had taken them a lot of patience and persistence to get him to feel comfortable enough to let his guard down around them, to accept their courting and eventually become their mate. They had worked hard for this. There was no way a group of strangers could just replace them. Still, considering how comfortable Yoongi had seemed with the person who had held him tight, Taehyung couldn’t help but worry.

‘I’ve never seen hyung this openly affectionate with anyone except us’, Namjoon mused, ‘it’s just not something he does.’

‘He was like a different person last night’, Jungkook pointed out.

They turned to him with questioning looks in their eyes.

Jungkook huffed. ‘Just think about it’, he stressed his point, ‘and tell me one instance where he was our Yoongi last night.’

They frowned as they once again recalled the events of the evening before. Silently going over the scenes again in their minds, they couldn’t help but notice that their youngest mate had a point.

‘He’s never questioned our actions or talked back to us before’, Taehyung murmured, remembering how Yoongi had questioned the choices they had made on the day of their beach getaway. 

‘I can’t remember that he ever challenged us like that, either’, Hoseok added. ‘I don’t think I have ever seen him demanding answers for anything from us yet there he was, threatening to leave if we didn’t answer his questions.’

It was weird how different Yoongi had been, Seokjin now realized. ‘The way he called Hobi and Tae out for not calling him hyung had me shocked’, he admitted. ‘He never once demanded this kind of respect from any of you before.’

Taehyung shuddered. ‘I was really shocked at that, he sounded so bitter. I didn’t expect it at all.’ He glanced at Hoseok, who nodded, indicating that he had felt the same. ‘He yelled at you, too, hyung’, Taehyung added, looking at Seokjin with concern.

Seokjin gave him a reassuring smile. ‘It was so unexpected, it literally froze me in place. I admit at that moment I didn’t know how to deal with it well. Luckily I had Joonie to calm me down.’ He smiled at their pack leader who reached out an arm and drew him closer. 

‘He definitely was different last night’, Namjoon agreed. ‘It’s totally evident in the fact that he actually left without even trying to fix things with us. Losing the pack has always been his biggest fear. The last thing I would ever have expected to happen was for him to be the one to voluntarily walk away from us.’

Silence settled over them again as they pondered what their leader had just said. He was right, Yoongi would never have just left them behind like this. He was soft and peaceful and would do anything to keep his pack close. 

‘It was as though he was a completely different person last night’, Hoseok whispered, not sure what to make of all this. ‘But why?’

‘You don’t reckon it was because he was upset about the beach day and us having come home late?’, Seokjin wondered.

Jungkook shook his head. ‘He was already upset the moment he stepped through the apartment door and saw us sitting together. Didn’t you see how distant his eyes became as he looked at us? And his voice was so cold, too. He didn’t know anything about our getaway at that point, it can’t have been that.’

‘Then maybe the promise-‘, Seokjin began and then he gasped, quickly looking around at his mates, who were in various states of shock as well.

A familiar flow of underlying emotions had suddenly filtered back into their bond, slowly and steadily buzzing and mixing in with their own emotions just like they were used to.

‘Oh my gawd’, Taehyung whispered before breaking into tears again, this time out of happiness for having Yoongi’s bond back. Hoseok was quick to draw him into a tight hug.

Relief filled all of them and without even thinking about it for a second they tried to show Yoongi that they were sorry, letting their regret and guilt trickle into the bond ever so slightly, careful not to overwhelm their mate yet again. None of them wanted a repeat of being shut out.

They weren’t sure what they hoped to achieve by reaching out but it definitely wasn’t this. It took them a while to realize that Yoongi wasn’t responding to their attempts at reaching out at all, his emotions still flowing steadily and going almost unnoticed. Frowning, they decided to tap into the bond more deeply to feel out what was going on with their mate.

Fond giddiness was the first thing they could make out and it had them frown in confusion. Yoongi was rarely ever this giddy. There was a notion of awe and disbelief as well, mixed with anticipation and something they could only describe as utter joy. It wasn’t at all what they would have expected to feel from the alpha after what had just went down between them the other night.

Hoseok frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’ He looked around helplessly at his mates, silently begging for one of them to make sense of this and explain it to him. But they looked just as confused as them.

‘How can he be this happy after we just had the worst fight ever and he left us behind without even so much as glancing back at us?’, Jungkook wondered, unsure what to make of this new situation.

The more they felt Yoongi’s happiness, the more it hurt. Wasn’t Yoongi supposed to be affected by the situation, too? How could he be so joyful when their pack was going through such a rough patch? He had been so hurt last night, they had felt his pain radiating through their bond. How could he be this happy now without even having talked things over with them?

‘Doesn’t he miss us, too?’, Taehyung couldn’t help but wonder. He missed his mate so much. How could he be so blissful when they were at odds like this? 

‘Do you think he still is with that other pack?’ Seokjin really hoped he was wrong but it was the most logical explanation. They had seen just how comfortable Yoongi seemed to be around those people and they had apparently calmed his panic attack the night before. 

The pain of imagining their mate with a different pack rippled through their bond uncontrollably. None of them had wanted for this to happen.

Just then, Yoongi’s apparent happiness turned into confusion and then concern before slowly morphing into calm reassurance. They shared a relieved look at the sudden change, reaching out over their bond once again, trying to show their missing mate how much they missed him, that they were sorry and wanted to make things right again.

For a long time nothing changed. Yoongi’s confusion eventually lifted but his concern remained, mixing with dejection for a while which almost had them panic but then relief took over and they relaxed again. It filled them with warmth to know that their mate still cared enough to be concerned for them but at the same time they were growing more and more confused because they couldn’t seem to ease his worry or get any response from him.

And then a strong wave of affection washed over them and they realized their mistake.

This was different from the love and affection Yoongi held for them. They knew exactly what it felt like to be loved and cared for by their mate, they hadn’t shared a bond with him for almost three years for nothing. Yoongi’s love for them felt like a warm gust of wind, like the calm before a storm, washing over them with care and devotion but also always holding a hint of longing and desire. It felt both gentle and stormy at the same time, a constant mix gentle affection and passionate want.

The affection they were feeling now though – it was nothing like that. Never before had they felt anything like this from Yoongi. Deep, caring affection mixed with compassion, fondness and endearment, leaving in it’s wake a warm feeling of very soft tenderness. It felt like a welcome summer rain, steadily washing over them with a warmth they hadn’t ever felt from their mate before.

It only took them about a split second to notice the difference and connect the dots. Sharing wide-eyed looks, they stopped their attempts at reaching out to Yoongi. It was futile, they realized that now. This affection wasn’t for them. And if that was the case, the former concern most likely also hadn’t been directed at them. Yoongi’s wolf might have let them back in but Yoongi’s attention was completely set on somebody else, so much so that he didn’t even seem to have noticed their attempts at reaching out to him.

The realization hurt worse than anything that had happened these past few days. Their mate was somewhere out there ignoring their bond and getting attached to someone else. And there was absolutely nothing they could do about it. Helplessness washed over their bond, quickly pairing with the fear of losing their mate.

Instinctively they huddled even closer together, desperately wishing for Yoongi to notice the turmoil their bond was in and to reach out to them; to give them a chance to make things right with him again. Their wish wasn’t granted. Instead, the strange affection kept thrumming through their bond, washing over them and making them long for their missing mate even more strongly than before.

‘What is happening?’, Hoseok eventually pressed out, breaking the thick silence that had been surrounding them until then. ‘He’s so- I’ve never felt anything like this from him before.’

‘First he’s so happy even though we had such a bad fight and now this- this-‘, Taehyung struggled to find the right expression, unwilling to put Yoongi’s emotions into the correct words, ‘this infatuation’, he finally concluded his sentence. ‘It’s like he doesn’t care about us anymore at all.’

‘Do you think it’s him?’, Jungkook asked, looking at his mates inquiringly.

‘Him?’, Taehyung echoed, confused.

‘Of course it’s him’, Seokjin stated matter-of-factly. ‘Why do you even ask?’

‘It’s not like we have a bond with anyone other than him’, Hoseok reminded his youngest mate.

Namjoon sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Jungkookie but I’m not sure I can follow you. We all know it’s Yoongi, who else would it even be?’

‘I didn’t mean Yoongi-hyung’, Jungkook clarified, shooting his mates a disbelieving look at their apparent inaptness to follow his train of thoughts. ‘I was speaking about that Jimin person. Do you think hyung’s infatuation is with him?’

Irritation flared up in their bond at the mention of that name.

‘If it is him, he brought us nothing but trouble ever since he appeared in Yoongi’s life’, Seokjin said darkly.

‘Kookie has a point though, doesn’t he?, Taehyung asked, voice shaking slightly as the implication of the younger’s words began to settle in. ‘Hyung has never been one to attach to anyone easily but when he told us about what happened that night he was acting weird and he looked so relaxed when he mentioned this Jimin.’

‘So you think he’s currently spending time with him?’, Hoseok wanted to know.

Taehyung nodded. ‘Where else would he be? Just think about it. Who would he even turn to? He doesn’t really have any close friends here in Seoul, you know how hard it is for him to connect to others. But this Jimin? He was already acting kind of weird when he told us about him that night. Remember when he was so nervous and distraught about telling us what had happened?’

‘There was guilt mixed into his emotions as well. I remember that clearly because it confused me. Why would he feel guilty about being attacked?’, Jungkook supplied, knowing exactly what Taehyung was getting at. ‘And then he suddenly calmed down and for a few seconds was almost giddy before pulling himself back together. That same giddiness came back later when he told us the name of the person who saved him. In fact, he feels just as giddy right now, too.’

Hoseok’s eyes had grown wide at the recount, remembering clearly how confused he himself had been at the time when Yoongi suddenly had turned from a nervous mess to being almost light-hearted within just a few minutes. He also remembered something else. ‘He smiled when he mentioned his name’, he pointed out.

Silence settled over them as they let everything sink in. His mates had a point, Namjoon thought. Yoongi really didn’t have anybody he was close with in Seoul apart from his mates. They had suspected before that their mate might be seeing that ominous savior of his again, that he was being manipulated into something because this Jimin had recognized him and knew who he was. If that really was the case, there was a high chance of him being with that person right now, too – and apparently getting even more attached to them.

‘He wouldn’t leave us, would he?’, Taehyung whispered, the fear of losing his mate evident in his voice. ‘Yoongi-hyung wouldn’t just do something like that, right? He loves us, he needs us. I refuse to believe that he would willingly leave us for someone else.’

It was something to hold onto, finally. Relieve filled their bond as the meaning of Taehyung’s words settled in. The beta was right. Yoongi loved and needed them. There was no way he would be willing to leave them.

It still didn’t explain his current infatuation, though. Unless-

‘He’s being manipulated’, Hoseok muttered under his breath, anger rising up in him at the thought of his mate being treated like that. ‘That must be it. Didn’t we ponder that possibility before?’

They did, Namjoon realized. Back when they had first noticed all the changes in Yoongi’s behavior they had discussed the possibility of Jimin being the cause and of him having recognized their mate and trying to use him to his advantage. Yoongi had been scared and vulnerable the night of the attack, of course he would feel indebted to his savior. Their eldest alpha had always been one to repay kindness with kindness and actions with actions. If somehow this ominous Jimin had picked up on that he would have it easy with him, guilt-tripping him into spending time together and making Yoongi get attached to himself.

Namjoon felt irritation rising up in him at this unfair treatment of one of his pack members. Their bond was flaring with unconcealed anger now, telling him that his mates had come to the same conclusion as he himself.

‘He is being used’, Taehyung hissed through clenched teeth.

‘Manipulated’, Seokjin nodded. ‘I bet whoever this Jimin is recognized him that night and now wants to get as much out of him as possible. What better way to do so than by getting attached to him and riling him up against us?’

‘And involving his pack in the scheme as well.’ Hoseok felt sick at just the thought of his mate being used like that. Everyone knew how much Yoongi craved a place to belong, it had always been painfully obvious from the moment he began opening up to them. They had become that place for him and they had worked hard to get to that point. And now some random stranger who somehow had figured out their mate’s most vulnerable spot was going to utilize it for his own good?

‘It all makes so much sense now’, Namjoon muttered under his breath, sensing his mates’ agreement over their bond.

‘I bet he somehow influenced hyung to make him turn against us. He would never have spoken back to us like this or left us behind without solving the situation first otherwise. That’s just not him.’ Jungkook was seething. It was one thing to be at odds with your mate because you had an argument but it was something completely different to know that someone was knowingly manipulating them to turn against you.

‘Just watch him leave Yoongi-yah high and dry once he got everything he wanted from him’, Seokjin predicted darkly. There was no doubt in his mind that it would happen at some point. People who played others like that always got tired of their games after a while, didn’t they? And where would that leave Yoongi then? At odds with his mates and with nowhere to turn to? How could anyone even be that cruel? They couldn’t let that happen.

Namjoon seemed to have followed this train of thought. ‘It’s not Yoongi-hyung’s fault’, he pointed out to his mates. ‘He is way too nice to notice if anyone were to use him like that.’

Taehyung nodded quickly. ‘He probably just thinks he somehow owes something to this Jimin for saving him. Hyung is the type of person to repay favors with favors after all.’

Anger suddenly rushed through their bond and they turned to stare at Jungkook.

‘Are we just going to let this happen?’, he pressed out, eyes blazing at the thought of someone trying to steal his mate from him. ‘Someone is manipulating hyung and trying to drive him away from us and we are just going to sit here and do nothing?’

Their bond was thrumming with fury by now. How dare anyone come between them and their mate like this? Did this Jimin really think he could get away with that? There was no way they were just going to stand by and watch their mate being used and getting hurt like that.

Trying to calm the younger alpha, Namjoon reached out and placed a supporting hand on his shoulder. ‘We won’t’, he quietly reassured him. ‘We won’t let anyone hurt hyung in any way. But for now, here’s nothing we can do about this.’

And there really wasn’t. Yoongi didn’t react to their bond, his phone was turned off and they had no idea where he was. For now their best option would be to wait until their mate would get into touch again. Which Namjoon was sure he would at some point.

‘There’s nothing we can do for now’, he repeated sadly. ‘We all felt just how hurt he was last night. It might not have been our intention but we caused him pain and made him feel unwanted.’

Guilt and desperation spread over their bond once again and Namjoon sighed.

‘I know’, he said quietly. ‘We could have handled that talk better. If only we had known yesterday what we know now. That wasn’t Yoongi speaking to us, it was the words this Jimin person has instilled in him.’ He paused as anger flared up in the bond again, waiting for his mates to calm down a bit before continuing. ‘But we can’t do anything right now. We don’t even know where hyung is. I’m sure he will reach out to us, he isn’t the type of person to let something like this stand between us unresolved.’

‘You really think so?’, Hoseok asked, voice quivering.

Namjoon nodded. ‘Yes. No matter what this means for us in the end, Yoongi-hyung wouldn’t want the pack to be stuck in an unsolved situation forever. He’ll talk to us, I’m sure of that. And when he does, we will be prepared.’

‘Prepared?’, Jungkook echoed sounding confused.

‘Yes, prepared. We now know that none of this is Yoongi’s fault. He’s being played and turned against us in a very cruel way. I don’t think any of us are mad at him anymore or am I wrong?’ Watching his mates shake their heads vigorously, he couldn’t help but suppress a smile. He hadn’t expected anything less from them, they were all good people after all. ‘Right’, he said. ‘This isn’t Yoongi’s fault so when he does come to talk things out with us we should be understanding in case he acts differently and make sure he knows that we don’t hold any of what has happened until now against him. It might mean accepting his criticism but we all know he is being heavily influenced right now so we should be able to deal with his words and reactions better next time, don’t you think?’

All of them nodded. Of course they could play along to whatever way Yoongi had been strung up to act against them. Now that they knew he didn’t really mean it, they could adjust to that. Anything to make their mate feel comfortable around them again. Yoongi needed to know that no matter what, they would be there for him. They would make sure to reassure him of that.

Jungkook shivered. ‘What if he says he wants to leave us for the other pack?’

Desperation and pain flared in their bond at the mere thought of Yoongi leaving them.

‘He can’t do that!’, Taehyung exclaimed, once again close to tears. ‘He was ours first…’

‘I don’t want to lose him’, Seokjin murmured and they all nodded fervently in agreement.

With a sigh, Namjoon sat up straight, turning to face his mates one by one. ‘It won’t come to that. Even with how strained things are between us right now I’m sure that we can at the very least convince Yoongi to give the pack another chance. There have been so many misunderstandings and once we clear those up hyung most likely won’t be able to just turn his back on us. We’ve been together as a pack and mates too long for that.’

They let those words sink in, clinging to them as strongly as they could. None of them was ready to let go of Yoongi and they wanted to believe with all their might that the alpha felt the same about them, no matter how badly he had been influenced against them at this point.

‘We’ll make sure he gives us another chance’, Seokjin murmured. ‘We can do that. No matter what he has been told, Yoongi loves us. He must be hurting right now, too. We just need to show him that we are here and willing to work things out with him.’

Namjoon nodded. ‘Exactly. Our schedule will pick up again soon, too. He won’t be able to stay away from us much longer. We’ll have to talk then anyway for the sake of the group dynamics. There’s no way we can go back to work with things between us staying unresolved like this, it would show and raise questions. Hyung is a professional, he surely knows that, too.’

‘We’ll be around each other much more once schedule picks up again.’ Hoseok was quick to pick up on what Namjoon was trying to point out. ‘There will be less time for hyung to be around this Jimin and we can work on getting him out from under those people’s influence.’

‘And deal with this Jimin separately’, Jungkook added grimly, making his mates turn to look at him in surprise. ‘What?’, he quickly defended himself. ‘Don’t tell me you’d be ok with just letting him get away with this?!’

‘No way!’, Taehyung exclaimed angrily. ‘He is hurting Yoongi-hyung! We can’t just ignore that, he needs to learn that he can’t just mess with other people like that.’

He looked around for confirmation from his mates, relieved when he saw all of them nod in agreement. There was no way he would just stand  by and let the person who was using their mate for his own personal gain get away with that and he was relieved to know his mates in his corner.

Namjoon gave him a small approving smile. ‘You’re right of course. We can’t just let someone treat our mate like that and not do anything about it. We’ll focus on fixing things with hyung first but we will deal with this Jimin on our own terms when the time comes.’

Anger still thrummed through their bond but it slowly mixed with compassion for Yoongi and his current situation and yearning for their missing mate. More calm now that they knew what was going on and had a plan of action, all of them hoped it wouldn’t be too long until Yoongi contacted them again.

They would show him that they were worth a second chance. And they would make sure to avenge him for what he was being put through.

Chapter Text

‘I didn’t trust them’, Jimin said quietly.

They were sitting with their backs against the wall again, huddled close together on the mattress but this time in something resembling a nest and under a blanket. Jimin had been shivering a lot during the first part of his recount and while Yoongi logically knew that a blanket wouldn’t make a difference when it came to mental exhaustion, his wolf felt an overwhelming urge to take care of the beta in whatever way he could provide.

Knowing that it was impossible to fight instincts as strong as this one he had ended up fetching a bottle of water and some of the snacks he had brought from the convenience store as little gifts for Jimin and his hyungs only a few days back. Jimin’s meltdown that day now made so much more sense to him, too. Not only had he most likely triggered it by calling the younger Jiminie but he had also acted as though his hyungs were still alive.

Yoongi knew he shouldn’t blame himself for that. He hadn’t known then what he knew now and his intentions had been nothing but good. Still, he couldn’t help the little guilty stab he felt at the knowledge that he had unintentionally caused the younger pain like that. Knowing that Jimin would not want him to feel guilty about something that had been out of his control, he tried to shake off the feeling and focused on the situation at hand instead. He would just have to make up for that from now on.

Handing Jimin drink and snacks he told him to eat and rehydrate. For a moment it looked like Jimin was about to protest but then realization dawned on his face and he complied with a twinkle in his eyes. The sight left Yoongi oddly satisfied and he watched for a few minutes until the younger raised a questioning eyebrow at him, barely concealing a grin. It effectively shook Yoongi out of his stupor, quickly making him proceed to gather up all the blankets he could find in the small room.

Truth be told, Yoongi had no idea what he was doing when he was piling all of those onto the mattress. He worked more or less on autopilot, following his instinct in laying them out. He folded two and leaned them against the wall, putting the pillows in front to make leaning back more comfortable before moving all the other blankets around until he was satisfied with the result. Much to Jimin’s merriment. The younger hadn’t said a single word during the whole process, letting him go about his instinctual needs, but Yoongi had seen the unconcealed amusement in the beta’s eyes and also felt the rush of endearment and affection his actions caused him.

When he finally deemed his work done, he motioned for Jimin to sit back against the pillows with him before he reached for the last unused blanket and cocooned them up in it, his alpha cheering inwardly at the contented sigh the younger let out as he snuggled closer to him.

The silence that had engulfed them ever since Yoongi urged Jimin to replenish his energies lasted for quite a while longer. Neither of them felt the need to say anything as they cherished the other’s close proximity and the calm comfort that had settled over their bond.

Yoongi had no idea why he had done this. The snacks and drink, yes. Providing for their mates, pack or bonded ones had always been an alpha instinct, the urge to nourish and protect still strong even today. The nesting part though – Yoongi was very well aware that alphas didn’t nest. Neither did betas, so why he had felt the strong instinct to provide a nest for Jimin was beyond him. Nesting was something that was usually seen as an omega trait, triggered by the need to feel protected and safe. Then again, his mates had nested as well the night he had been attacked so maybe it was just an urge that arose in specific situations.

Eventually, Jimin broke the silence.

‘I didn’t trust them’, he said quietly, immediately gaining Yoongi’s full attention.

With a sigh, the beta continued. ‘That night when Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung found me under the bridge I only agreed to come along because it seemed like the lesser of two evils. Being out there in the middle of the night with no money, no food and nowhere to turn to was terrifying. Going with them meant being with two strangers but at least it was two strangers who so far had left a rather friendly impression.’

He laughed humorlessly. ‘I was aware of the risk, you know, hyung? Maybe going with strangers seems blue-eyed and stupid but I did weigh my options as carefully as I could that night. I was exhausted and stranded with nothing. Staying out there by myself meant danger, too. Unknown danger at that. And on top of that it meant to risk being discovered and forced to return to the orphanage. I- I couldn’t let that happen. They had talked about a community, of other run aways and some part of me really wanted to believe in that. If what they said was true, going with them would be my safest option. If they lied, I would be just as screwed as I would be if I were to stay out there by myself. I couldn’t let the chance of what they were offering being genuine slip through my fingers. So I went with them. But I didn’t trust them. Not a single bit.’

Yoongi nodded understandingly. Of course Jimin hadn’t trusted them. He wouldn’t have either. Heck, he wasn’t even sure what he would have done if he had found himself in Jimin’s situation. He could feel how the younger had tensed up next to him as he tried to justify his decision and went to squeeze his hand under the blanket.

‘You were in a tough situation, Jiminie. I don’t know if I would even have been able to consider my options as rationally as you did. There’s no need to justify your decision with me. You went with what seemed to be the safest option for you and at the time, only you could be the judge of that. And it turns out that you decided right, didn’t you?’

Relaxing again, Jimin sent him a grateful look. This had worried him since he had started telling Yoongi about meeting his hyungs. It was so easy to judge others for their actions and decisions and even as a thirteen year old kid he had known that going with strangers was fucking dangerous. But he hadn’t really had a better option and in the end it had seemed wiser to choose to walk into a potentially dangerous situation being aware of it than waiting for something unexpected to take him by surprise. Knowing that Yoongi didn’t judge him for that decision took a weight off his shoulders.

‘It turned out more than alright’, he agreed with a fond smile. ‘Hajun-hyung and Junseo-hyung – they were so understanding and good to me. I didn’t make it easy on them, you know? For months I couldn’t find it in myself to trust them, always wondering about what ulterior motives they might have.’

‘And rightfully so’, Yoongi hummed next to him. ‘You didn’t know them, Jimin-ah. Trust is something that has to be earned, it comes with time. You were right to keep them at a distance and stay alert around them until you knew they truly were the people they pretended to be.’

Jimin leaned closer into the alpha, reveling in his warmth and comfort. ‘I almost bailed, you know? That night when I agreed to go with them. I had no idea their place was in some underground maze. When I saw where they were trying to take me, I was ready to run.’

Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle at that. ‘I would have, too. If I had been at my full senses the night you first took me here I would never have entered these sewers with you.’ Squeezing Jimin’s hand again, he continued softly: ‘How did they make you change your mind then?’

‘By being themselves’, Jimin said softly. ‘They were simply being themselves…’

_____

Home, as Hajun had called it, turned out to be a hidden room somewhere in a sewer maze. Even after a whole month, Ji wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

When Junseo and Hajun had first brought him here the night they found him he had flat out refused to step inside, body stiffening once again as he realized that these strangers were about to take him somewhere underground. Had they been lying after all? He definitely wouldn’t trust them. How could he even know he would be safe with them? If he went along with them and they turned out to be bad people, he would never have a chance to get away or to be found down there. 

No, he thought, backing away. He didn’t trust them at all. There was no way he would enter those sewers with two strangers.

A hand grabbed his arm once again and he jerked his head towards Junseo, who gave him a understanding look.

‘I know’, he said leaving Ji wondering just what exactly it was the man thought he knew. ‘We’re not planning on trapping you in there, Ji. Just give it a moment, ok? Hajun is noting down directions for you. That way, you are free to come and go whenever you want.’ 

And that was exactly what had happened. Hajun gave him a hastily drawn map with written directions and the two men encouraged him to take the lead, navigating all three of them through the maze with just the map as guidance to show him they weren’t tricking him. It had still taken him quite a while to gather enough courage to do exactly that, but eventually he had caved and done as they suggested. It wasn’t like he had any better alternatives anyway, staying outside was probably bringing just as many risks as going inside.

True to their word the map had led him to the room he was staying in now. 

His home, apparently. 

He looked around and took in the by now familiar layout. A mattress in a corner, a low table in the middle of the room, a chest of drawers and some buckets forming an improvised washing station.

Junseo and Hajun had insisted he take the mattress but he had refused, too scared they might see that as some kind of invitation. Instead he decided to set up camp in the corner furthest away from it and closest to the exit. Being in such close proximity to the only way out somehow helped putting his mind at ease about this whole situation.

That first night, he had curled up in his corner under the blanket they had given him, pretending to be asleep and hoping to just be left alone. The two men had eventually crashed on their mattress, leaving a flashlight turned on for him.

The next day, the one called Junseo had left for quite a while only to return with breakfast, a sleeping mat and several more blankets. Ji hadn’t wanted to eat but Hajun had been very insistent, sitting down with him at the table and refusing to let him leave before he at least finished half of the food they had laid out for him. Eager to get back into his own corner and be left alone he decided it would probably be easiest to comply. When he finally was able to leave the table, Junseo had already put the sleeping mat and extra blankets down for him and he retreated under said blankets to hide from the two men and the world in general. 

They had let him be for most of the time since then, going about what he guessed was to be their daily business - although one of them always stayed behind with him in the beginning. Somehow he doubted that was part of their usual routine. Was he being watched or were they just worried for him? He really couldn’t tell. 

The following days and weeks passed in a blur. Ji would get up when it was mealtime, forcing himself to eat the bare minimum of what would satisfy Hajun and retreat into his blanket fort. The two men would talk to him, telling him little anecdotes of their days or sometimes ask him questions which he refused to answer.

He learned that Hajun was a beta and Junseo an alpha simply because they told him. He couldn’t deny that their stories sometimes were quite amusing and more than once he had to fight a small grin from appearing on his face at the two men’s banter, grateful his blankets were hiding him from their sight effectively.

About three weeks after they had taken him in he woke up feeling sick and uneasy. It took him a few seconds to realize what was happening but when he did, sheer terror gripped him and he scrambled up, desperately trying to get outside and away from this place. 

He didn’t get very far, his knees buckling under him after only two steps and he braced himself for the pain of a fall that didn’t come. Instead, two strong arms encircled him and held him up, stopping his fall almost effortlessly. 

Panicked, he began to struggle but Hajun simply moved him back to his sleeping mat and covered him with his blankets.

‘It’s alright’, he murmured, gently stroking some of the hair that was now clinging to his temples away. ‘We won’t hurt you.’

Junseo appeared in his view. ‘I’ll be staying at the community while you go through this. Hajun will  stay and take care of you. Don’t worry, Ji. You’re safe here.’

And with that, the alpha had turned around and left. True to his word, he only returned after Ji had presented. It had been tough three days, but Hajun guided him through them, making him eat and drink, giving him painkillers, whispering sweet nothings to him when he feverishly tossed around, wiping away his sweat and helping him change clothes and freshen up at the washing station. Not once did he touch him inappropriately, something Ji was extremely grateful for. 

Once his presentation was done with, Junseo returned, setting a drugstore paperback next to his sleeping mat. Ji didn’t even need to take a look to know what was inside.

Junseo had given him a small smile. ‘I thought you might want this but I wasn’t sure which type you prefer. You can try and decide. Let us know when you are close to running out so we can stock up for you again.’

He had blinked at that, surprised that they would offer to do something like this for him. Stunned, he  muttered out a ‘thank you’ before finally falling into a much needed, deep sleep.

That had been a few days ago and ever since then he had begun to wonder if maybe it would be ok to let his guard down just the tiniest little bit around these two men. Currently he was alone at what he had come to think of as his ‘safe place’ (he just couldn’t bring himself to call it home). Junseo and Hajun were out on errands, as they called it. He wasn’t quite sure what that meant yet but he knew that those errands helped pay for their daily necessities. 

Once again, he looked around the room he now lived in. It was rundown and more or less barren, but he didn’t care. He thought back to his first meeting with Junseo and Hajun at the bridge, his arrival at their place and the way they had helped him through his presentation. 

Always so friendly, always so patient and kind. Just what was in it for them? He was no fool, he knew sooner or later they would want something in return. There was no way for him to know what that something would be, though. With a frown he figured that he would probably find out eventually.

-----

About two weeks after his presentation he was still none the wiser about Junseo’s and Hajun’s true motives for taking him in. So far, neither man had done anything even remotely close to make him feel uncomfortable. From time to time he questioned whether there really was an ulterior motive behind all this, but he was always quick to dismiss that thought again, too. He had seen how bad things could go at the orphanage; had seen how trusting the wrong people could break someone. There was no reason at all for him to believe that Junseo and Hajun were not going to turn on him the moment he allowed himself to be weak. It was best to keep his walls up and keep himself safe. There was no way he was going to trust these two men.

They were patient with him, though. He had to give them that much credit. Six weeks into his stay with them he still only spoke when it was absolutely necessary, choosing to ignore their presence most of the time and staying in his corner of the room. 

Six weeks. 

When he had run from the orphanage he hadn’t known where he would end up or how long he would last until authorities would find him. He shuddered at the thought of that. As much as he distrusted the two men who had taken him in, at least they hadn’t touched him yet. If he were to be forced to return to the orphanage now after having presented, he wouldn’t be that lucky. At least the place he was staying at was so well hidden that officials probably wouldn’t ever find him. It was, in a  weirdly twisted way, safe.

Somewhat, he thought. Safe from authorities. He wasn’t so sure if he was safe from Hajun and Junseo, too. For now, though, it was his only option. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought of leaving this place, but where would he even go? He still didn’t have any money. Not to mention that he really couldn’t afford to draw any attention to himself. As much as he disliked it, right now he didn’t have any other options than staying right where he was.

He missed being outside, though. The only times he went out nowadays was to make his way to the public restroom the community apparently liked to use, preferably after nightfall. Back at the orphanage he had always spent as much time outside as he could. Although one of the reasons for that was probably because being inside had felt much more oppressive than being in the yard, he mused bitterly. The atmosphere in that building had always been a heavy mix of fear and aggression. He had loathed it with every fiber of his body.

Was this place any better then? He couldn’t deny that despite his closed off and rejecting attitude the alpha and beta created a rather light and comfortable atmosphere. Not a day went by without them bantering over the tiniest things, which more than once had ended up with him being secretly amused. Surprisingly it was Hajun who often chastised Junseo, smacking his head playfully and telling the alpha when he went overboard with something or expected too much. To his utter surprise, Junseo just took it, smiling sheepishly and scratching his head, which in turn often made Hajun laugh. 

He hadn’t known dynamics like that were possible between alphas and betas. From what he had seen at the orphanage, betas were considered way below alphas. Talking back or refusing a task would surely have earned any beta at that place a severe punishment. But Junseo and Hajun treated each other like equals. Not once had he seen the alpha pull rank over the beta. It confused him to no end and at the same time had him wondering if they would treat omegas the same way, too.

Everyone knew omegas were the lowest in the food chain. Expected to be weak and submissive and at the back and call of both alphas and betas. That’s how it had always been at the orphanage. Surely there was no way Junseo and Hajun would treat omegas as equals as well, right?

‘Ji’, Junseo’s voice ripped him out of his thoughts. He turned over on his sleeping mat to give the alpha a questioning look. Usually he preferred to stare at the wall. Or hide under his blankets. He had a lot of those now. Hajun had brought him even more after he had presented, telling him to use them whichever way he wanted. Which he did, piling them all up and then burrowing deep under them to hide from everything around him whenever he got a chance to do so.

‘Look, Ji, we don’t want to pressure you or something but you’ve been here for almost six weeks now’, Junseo began, giving him a searching look. 

He froze. He knew they couldn’t be trusted. Of course there was something they would want in return for the place to stay, the food, the blankets and everything else they had done for him. They probably had only waited until he presented, he thought acridly.

A sick feeling settled in his stomach as he mentally went over the map of the tunnels that he had memorized in the last few weeks. He was pretty confident that he could remember it correctly. All he had to do was get out of this room first. His eyes darted towards the entrance. Junseo and Hajun were sitting at the low table in the middle of the room. With the surprise effect on his side, he might just be able to make it.

He scrambled to get up, struggling to free himself from his blankets when a by now familiar smacking sound made him halt his movements and glance at the two men. Hajun was glaring at Junseo, the alpha rubbing the back of his head and looking bewildered. 

‘What was that for?’

‘For being an idiot. You scared him.’

Junseo’s eyes widened. ‘I did?’

The beta rolled his eyes. ‘Of course you did. Can you just learn to not be so careless with your words? Poor Ji probably thinks we’re going to ask for something in return for letting him stay with us now.’ He turned to the youngest, who seemed frozen in place. ‘Isn’t that right, Ji?’ 

The boy just stared at them.

Hajun’s words seemed to make Junseo realize what was going on. Hurriedly, he turned to face the boy, too, a chagrined look on his face.

‘Oh my- No! Ji, no! That’s not what I meant at all. I just-‘, he broke off and scratched his head, the sheepish look Ji had gotten used to over the past few weeks turning into a frown. The alpha sighed. ‘Ji, I’m so sorry. Hajun’s right, I should be more careful with my words.’

‘I’ve been telling him that for years, Ji. He’s a hopeless case but I swear, he’s harmless.’

Ji had to fight hard to bite back a smile when he saw the exasperated look on Hajun’s face. He turned his head slightly and stared at the alpha in question, silently urging him to say whatever it was that he had wanted to say.

Junseo smiled at him. ‘We really just wanted to ask you if you’d like to go out with us. We could show you around the community. You’ve been holed up in here for about a month and a half. It must be so boring for you.’

He stared at them, unsure if he had heard right. Go outside? With them? Why would he do that? People could see him, recognize him, call authorities on him. What if they took him back? He didn’t want to go back. Yes, he missed being outside but the price to pay if he was discovered was simply too high. It wasn’t something he was willing to risk. 

Still, he missed being free. Not that he ever really had been free, claiming that would be a joke. Not since he had to move into the orphanage, anyway. But at least he had been free enough to spend time in the gardens and had made occasional neighborhood trips. 

Would it be safe to go outside? Maybe at least once? Or was it too much of a risk?

Seeing the conflicting emotions on the boy’s face, Hajun sighed softly. ‘Ji. You have to step outside at some point, you can’t hide in here until you are finally off age and safe. That would be years. Do you really not want to go out again for such a long time?’

Ji’s eyes widened as he realized that the beta was correct. He couldn’t just keep hiding in here forever. At some point he would have to step outside. It had only been about six weeks or so now and he was already missing the outside world so much. How was he supposed to keep this up for another four years? He’d definitely go crazy. 

But did he really have a choice? He needed to hide, stay out of sight, disappear. This was the perfect place to do so. What if he went outside and someone did actually recognize him?

As if reading his mind, Junseo nodded at him. ‘If you’re up to it, we’d be happy to show you around. We’ll be with you all the time. You don’t have to worry about anyone taking you away. Neither Hajun nor I nor anyone in our community would let that happen.’ 

‘Everyone will look out for you. And we can help you find a disguise so nobody will recognize you, if it puts your mind at ease’, Hajun added softly, giving the boy an understanding look.

He hesitated, not sure what to do. Would they really keep him safe? He didn’t trust them, how could he believe they wouldn’t turn him over the first chance they got? Then again, so far they had done everything they could to make sure he felt as comfortable as possible with the limited options they could provide him with. And Hajun had been really nice to him during his presentation. Not to mention that Junseo had disappeared for days and only returned once it was over.

Maybe it would be ok to go out with them at least once? He’d just have to be on his guard. If they were to plan anything, he’d have to run. There would be other people out there so he might just be able to blend in with the masses and disappear.

He took in the two men who were patiently waiting for him to make up his mind. How did they always know what worried him? Why were they so patient with him? At the orphanage, nobody had cared about how he felt. Why would two literal strangers? Why would they give him time to make up his mind instead of expecting him to follow their orders? He really didn’t understand.

Going outside would be nice. He missed seeing the sky, missed sunlight, missed the feeling of wind in his hair or even rain on his skin. This place was safe but kind of dark and very boring. Should he give it a shot?

Hesitantly, he looked at the people who had taken him in. ‘It will be – safe?’

Junseo nodded vigorously. ‘You will be safe. We promise to keep you safe, Ji.’

He almost scoffed. That didn’t mean much considering he didn’t trust them one inch.

Still…

‘I can get a disguise?’

Hajun grinned. ‘Leave it to us. We’ll make sure nobody will be able to recognize you.’

Finally making up his mind, Ji nodded. He really wanted to be able to go out again.

-----

He was sitting at the river, snapback drawn deep into his face, hiding his now blonde hair. 

That was the disguise Hajun and Junseo had come up with for him. After he had agreed to go out with them Junseo had left for a while only to return with a bottle of hair dye which he had smugly handed to Hajun. ‘Work your magic’, he had said and the beta had smacked him on the head once again, stating that it was chemistry, not magic. 

They had waited until nightfall before Hajun had taken Ji to the public restroom. It had been the first time for him to have his hair dyed and he had to admit that it had secretly thrilled him. Things like this were absolute no-goes at the orphanage and doing it now felt like he was once again shaking off those rules of the past.

The blonde looked great on him, both Junseo and Hajun assured him of that time and time again. For once he decided to believe them because he, too, liked what he had seen in the mirror. A snapback completed his disguise. Well, technically it was three snapbacks. Junseo had apparently been unable to decide which one to get and had brought him three. Hajun had just rolled his eyes at the alpha and secretly winked at Ji. It had taken him a lot of effort to keep his expression blank at their antics.

They had taken him outside the next day to show him around the community. Apparently, people already knew that he was staying with the two men. Hearing that startled him but Junseo had been quick to explain.

‘They know someone is staying with us, Ji. We had to tell them. You are part of this community now, that means we are responsible for you. As is the rest of the community. People have been helping, you know? Your sleeping mat and blankets for example have been provided by the community. They couldn’t have done that without knowing about you. But nobody knows any details. All we told them is that a boy named Ji is staying with us from now on. Anything else is for you to decide to share or keep secret. Nobody will pry, I promise you that.’

Going out again during the day hadn’t been easy at all. The moment he stepped out of the tunnels into broad daylight he could feel panic bubbling up inside of him. Hajun had noticed immediately, placing a supporting hand on his back and drawing the snapback deeper into Ji’s face.

‘It’s alright’, he had murmured soothingly, ‘we’ll take it slow, ok? You’ll get used to it, don’t worry.’

And slow they went, taking breaks whenever Ji felt panic rising up again – something Hajun seemed to be able to sense immediately. To his own surprise, he felt safest when he was close to the two men accompanying him; shielded from possible danger when walking between them.

Huh, he thought bewildered, wondering what that was all about. How could he feel safe with people he didn’t trust? For now, he decided to just go with it, making sure to keep as close as possible to Junseo and Hajun as they crossed the river and made their way to what Junseo called the community’s base.

The community turned out completely different from what he had expected. Although to be fair, he wasn’t even sure what he had expected. All he knew was that it wasn’t something this well thought out and structured. They had shown him the other restroom on their way over and explained the cleaning and usage system the community had come up with for those. It had honestly impressed him to see how organized these people seemed to be. A thought that had been reinforced once they reached the base.

Ji was introduced to Haneul, a beta who seemed to be a few years older than Junseo and Hajun. Junseo had grinned at the elder, pointing at Ji.

‘Hyung, that’s Ji. He’s staying with us now. Ji, this is Haneul. He’s like the master of this place. We all bow down to him and follow his orders.’

Hajun smacked the alpha’s head. ‘Idiot’, he muttered good naturedly.

Ji’s eyes widened but Haneul simply gave him a warm smile.

‘It’s nice to finally meet you, Ji. Welcome to our little community. Don’t let Junseo fool you, those two are as much in charge of this place as I am. The three of us founded this place together. They just got lazy so they try to put all responsibility on me.’ He moved closer to Ji, gave him a conspiratorial wink and whispered ‘I don’t let them, though. The truth is, they think they succeeded but in reality they do most of the work without even realizing it. Don’t tell them, ok? Let’s keep it a secret between you and me.’

What was it with these adults and their weird antics? They all seemed to be so comfortable with each other, joking around and including him as if he had always been a part of this. A warm feeling spread through his chest as he nodded, staring at the beta in front of him. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face, eyes crinkling in amusement. 

Hajun and Junseo gasped, making the two turn to them.

‘Hyung, how did you do that?!’, Hajun exclaimed. 

‘That’s the first time we’ve seen Ji smile ever since we met him.’

Ji frowned at that. He hadn’t even realized he was smiling. It definitely hadn’t been his intention. Haneul just looked at him, then raised an eyebrow at the two men who had taken him in.

‘Really now? You must have done a poor job then, I didn’t even do anything. Just shared some facts with Ji. Maybe you just need to try harder, not everyone is as likeable as me after all.’

Hajun and Junseo whined in protest and Ji couldn’t help but giggle at that. Giggle. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had giggled or laughed. There was just something about these men’s interactions that made him feel at ease.

They ended up giving him a tour of their premises, Haneul explaining how he, Junseo and Hajun had met by chance when all of them were going through a rough patch in life some 15 years ago. Society had let each of them down to a point where none of them even wanted to try and pick up the pieces of their societal lives and put them back together. Instead, they had settled at the river and slowly built their community to what it was today. 

‘We all used to live here’, Junseo reminisced.

‘Yeah’, Haneul scoffed and gestured towards Hajun and Junseo, ‘until those two idiots found that place you are staying at right now and decided they were too good to keep staying at the base any longer. Probably trying to abandon their duties over here. Imagine’, he turned to Ji in mock outrage, ‘they didn’t even let me in once in all the six years they’ve lived there now. And they call themselves my best friends.’

Ji blinked at that. They didn’t even show their best friend. But they had let him in. Why? Once again, he just couldn’t understand. Just what did they want from him?

Hajun and Junseo protested, telling Ji that they needed a place to withdraw when everything became too much for them to deal with. Especially Hajun needed the option for a retreat as he struggled with anxiety sometimes. It surprised Ji to hear, he hadn’t noticed anything like that with the beta.

Haneul simply chuckled and told them everything was just fine before inviting them to stay over for dinner that evening. And just like that, Ji got to meet most everyone living with the community at that time over a barbecue at the rivershore.

It had been a nice day, he couldn’t deny that. Haneul had been so friendly and welcoming and even though Ji hadn’t talked much at all – he had been way too nervous for that – he felt kind of accepted.

The only time he had spoken up was when someone had asked about his sub gender. He had frozen at that, noticing the concerned look Junseo exchanged with Hajun, and contemplated what to do. Eventually he had settled on getting the question out of the way. It would only be asked again and again if he didn’t answer and he didn’t want to have to deal with it all the time.

‘Beta’, he had whispered so quietly that only Junseo and Hajun could hear him as they were sitting right next to him. When he was asked to repeat it a bit louder, he had stayed silent, fidgeting with his hands, earlier confidence gone. What was he thinking, saying that out loud like this with Junseo and Hajun around?

A hand found his and he looked up to see Hajun giving him a big smile.

‘Ji’s a beta’, he repeated loud enough for everyone to hear, squeezing the younger’s hand in silent support. Junseo began rubbing soothing circles on his back and he turned his head to see the alpha smile at him as well. For the first time since coming to stay with them he felt that maybe, just maybe, it really was ok to put a little bit of trust in those two men.

All of that had been over a month ago. He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy going out with Junseo and Hajun that day. Or spending time with Haneul. True, he had been utterly nervous and very scared, but the adults’ presence had kept his panic at bay, especially that of Hajun and Junseo.

Ever since that day, he had gone out daily with the two of them. The first week they had stuck with staying at the community base to get him accustomed with being outside again. After that, they had gradually ventured further with him, showing Ji their favorite places along the river, teaching him about running errands and even taking him along on some. 

About 10 week into staying with them he had finally found the courage to go out by himself. At first he rushed from their place to the community base, feeling very uneasy and close to panicking whenever somebody looked at him. Slowly he came to realize that people weren’t even actually seeing him. Nobody was staring, nobody was giving him scrutinizing looks. There were no missing child pictures of him anywhere, either. Had they even bothered looking for him? Had he even been reported him missing? Did anyone care at all that he disappeared?

It took him a while until he was really comfortable going out on his own but he eventually got there. Junseo and Hajun praised him a lot for being so brave. He still barely talked to them but he had come to see them as less of a threat. Somehow, their presence was comforting to him.

He stared at the river. The currents were wild at this particular spot. He liked staring at the unpredictable stream, sometimes throwing in a branch and trying to predict which way it would go. He hardly ever got it right. Just when he thought he had figured it out, it would take a completely different turn. It reminded him so much of his life. 

Nothing had ever gone as he had expected it to go.

Not once.

Not even now.

Never in his life would he have imagined himself to be living in a room in some abandoned sewer system with two strangers, homeless but not alone. Was it something good? Something bad? He really couldn’t tell but for the first time in many years he felt somewhat at ease with his situation.

-----

He bolted upright with a scream, attempting to scramble away. The blankets got in his way, tangling around his legs and effectively trapping him. Desperately trying to shake them off, he felt panic begin to bubble up in him. He had to get away before they got him, he needed to get out of here before it was too late. Squeezing his eyes shut even tighter than before, he tried to calm himself down. It didn’t work. With every passing second the urge to get away got stronger and his battle with the blankets grew fiercer. Why couldn’t he shake them off?

Suddenly, the weight of the blankets was lifted from his legs. For a split second he felt free. Then a hand landed on his shoulder and he jerked away.

Too late, his mind supplied as the panic grew stronger.

‘Ji’, he heard someone murmur. 

Ji.

It echoed in his head. Why would they call him that? Nobody ever called him that. Or any other nickname. Nicknames weren’t allowed here.

Ji.

He frowned. Why? It wasn’t even his nickname, his nickname was – shaking his head with determination he willed that thought to go away. His nickname was nothing he wanted to think about. It was way too painful.

‘Ji’, the voice sounded again and this time he thought that maybe it sounded familiar. Again he wondered why.

Ji.

Somehow he had the feeling that someone had been calling him that. The voice just now really did sound familiar but it didn’t induce fear like those other, dreaded voices usually did. Instead, it somehow had a calming effect on him. He knew that voice, he realized before he slowly opened his eyes.

Hajun was crouching in front of him, a worried look on his face and an equally troubled looking Junseo hovering behind him. He blinked.

Ji. 

Of course. 

That’s what he had told them to call him. The name he had given himself when he had first met them. He wasn’t at the orphanage anymore. There was no need to run away. He was in a safe place. Slowly calming down, he noticed that Hajun had put an arm around his shoulders, lightly squeezing him. Almost like a hug. Tears welled up in his eyes. He hadn’t been hugged in years.

It felt so warm.

‘I-‘, his voice cracked, making Junseo scramble to get him a bottle of water which he drank greedily.

‘Did you have a nightmare?’, Hajun asked softly, arm still around his shoulders. He nodded, ever so carefully leaning into the elder. Maybe he didn’t really trust them, but they had never harmed him and this half-hug just felt so nice. He closed his eyes, trying to savor the moment, not sure what to say. It had been a nightmare. A really bad one. But he didn’t think he was ready to talk about it.

‘It’s alright, Ji. You’re safe here’, Junseo said. A shiver ran down Ji’s spine and Hajun drew him a little bit closer.

‘You don’t have to tell us about it, if you don’t want to. Just know that we are here with you, hm?’

He nodded, comforted by the embrace. They stayed like that until he had drifted back off to sleep.

It was the first of many nightmares to haunt him, but just like this time, he was never alone. Junseo and Hajun were always there with him, helping him deal with the aftermath, sitting with him in silent support and waiting with him until he was able to fall back asleep.

It made him feel safe. 

He would never admit it to the two of them but he loved the way Hajun would half-hug him after having a nightmare.

-----

‘I’m not hungry.’

Hajun frowned as he took in the barely touched food on Ji’s plate. Getting him to eat had been a real struggle from the very moment they had taken him in. At first he had complied with Hajun's wishes, eager to get back to his own corner and shut them out. But that had been a good five months ago and by now he simply refused to eat. 

‘Ji’, he sighed. ‘You are barely eating anything these days. One meal a day just isn’t enough.’

‘The two of you only eat one meal per day’, the younger pointed out. And rightfully so, Junseo thought, slightly amused by the comeback. It had only been a few weeks ago since Ji had started to talk to them some more and apparently he now felt comfortable enough to talk back to them, too. It was endearing but this was a serious matter.

‘That’s true’, the alpha conceded, ‘but neither of us are malnourished or underweight and we also aren’t growing anymore. Ji, you were already underweight when we found you under that bridge, you can’t keep going like this.’

Ji frowned. It’s not like he wasn’t hungry. He really was. But even though he had grown to be quite comfortable around Junseo and Hajun over the last few weeks there was still a tiny part in his brain that simply didn’t trust them. A part that whispered that maybe they didn’t touch him so far because he simply didn’t look healthy. Because they didn’t like skinny people. 

Meager meals had been standard at the orphanage. People there had preferred them to be skinny, so he was quite used to not eating much. Maybe Junseo and Hajun had a different preference, though? If it could keep them from touching him, from wanting things from him, he wouldn’t mind continuing to skip meals. At least this way he might be safe.

Shaking his head, he pushed his plate away, expecting them to at the very least scold him for being disobedient. Not once since coming to stay with them had he defied them so openly. What would they do now? Scold him? Punish him? Closing his eyes, braced himself for whatever was going to come next.

It was silent for a while and then Junseo chuckled.

‘I guess this calls for more drastic measures.’

Ji’s eyes flew open in a brief moment of panic. The two men were standing now. Junseo grinned at him and Hajun pulled him up by his arm. What were they going to do?

Junseo placed a snapback on Ji’s head and then they dragged him into the tunnels with them, making their way outside. By now he could walk the path in the dark without any problems, just like the other two, so he let his mind wander, trying to figure out what was happening. They didn’t seem angry but they definitely were up to something. He didn’t dare to ask. There was no way he was going to risk setting them off more. For tonight he decided that he had tested out his boundaries with them enough.

They ended up at the riverside terrace, a place that, according to Junseo, had been around for quite a while and was one of their favorites spots. Ji had walked through here before during the daytime but never paid much attention to it. Now, though, at night – he couldn’t stop staring. The colorful lights at the stalls and the lanterns strung above head made the place look like it came right out of a fantasy novel. Distracted by his surroundings, he let Junseo steer him to an empty table.

‘It’s really pretty, isn’t it?’, the alpha asked, taking in his surroundings as well. 

Ji nodded, still mesmerized but also wondering just why they were here.

‘Hajun and I like spending our evenings here during the summertime.’

He nodded again, still too distracted by the atmosphere. Junseo cracked a smile and led Ji to a free table, making him sit down. ‘I’ll go and help Hajun settle things. Wait here for us, ok? Don’t run away, Ji’, he winked and turned to leave. Ji blinked and stared after him for a moment before twisting in his chair and staring out at the river. The lantern lights reflected so beautifully on the water. There were no wild currents here, just a gently flowing stream. 

Calm.

Once again, it reminded him of himself. Of his life. For so long, everything had been utter chaos, unsure and confusing, but recently it seemed like things had calmed down for him. Almost as if life finally decided to let him breathe. He wouldn’t ever admit it to Hajun and Junseo but he had really come to like the community. He also felt safe at their place, even though he still couldn’t bring himself to fully trust them. For the first time in many years he felt like he could allow himself to slow down and relax ever so slightly. 

He felt calm.

The sound of things being put down on their table ripped him out of his thoughts and he turned back around to see Junseo and Hajun covering every free spot on the table’s surface with dishes and drinks. He frowned at the amount of food laid out in front of them and shot them a questioning look. 

Junseo grinned as they sat down. 

‘There now. We haggled a lot with the vendors but we got some great deals. We got all the popular dishes for the three of us to share.’

He stared at the food and then at the two men seated in front of him. 

‘A-all of this?’, he stuttered in disbelief. Why on earth would they do that? It must cost them a lot of errands and there was no way the three of them would be able to finish that much food. It was probably enough to feed at least half of the community as well.

Hajun hummed happily, opening a can of soda and picking up a skewer. ‘Just making sure there’s something you like among the selection. Take whatever you want. We’re eating, too, so don’t feed us that excuse again’, he winked at Ji.

He didn’t know what to do. There was a reason he didn’t want to eat but he could hardly tell them. Defying them earlier had been a test, he had wanted to see what they would do. He definitely hadn’t expected this. They would have to run so many extra errands for this feast, it would be rude of him to refuse again now, wouldn’t it? But the thought of eating made him feel slightly nauseous, too. Why did they want him to eat so badly? Were they really just waiting for him to be healthy enough again to finally collect his debt?

Junseo gave him a searching look. Ji had learned by now that although the alpha was a bit goofy and careless with his words at times, he was also very perceptive. He braced himself for whatever was to come next.

‘You don’t have to answer me, but I’d still like to ask you a question.’

He nodded warily.

‘Why do you refuse to eat when you know that it isn’t healthy for you and are obviously hungry?’

He stared at the alpha. So they had noticed. They knew he wasn’t eating on purpose. What would they do about it? If this was their form of punishment it certainly would not make him change his mind, even if he did feel bad about them having to take on all those errands. Just why were they so insistent on him eating regular meals, on him gaining weight and being healthy? Just what did they want from him once he achieved whatever goal they had in mind for him? They probably wouldn’t let this go, he figured. And there was only one way to find out.

‘Why?’, he whispered, nervously fidgeting with his sleeves.

They looked at him questioningly. ‘Why what, Ji?’

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

‘Why do you want me to eat more so badly? What’s in it for you? Back at the orphanage everyone preferred skinny. I g-guess you don’t. That’s why, right? You’re just waiting for me to g-gain enough
to-‘, he broke off, unable to go any further.

Heavy silence settled over their table. Not daring to look at either of the two men he squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for them to confirm what he had known all along. Now that they knew he was aware there was no point in them lying to him anymore, right? It’s not like he had a choice anyway. There was nowhere else he could go at this point, he didn’t have the resources to start over elsewhere.

A tear rolled down his cheek. When had he started crying? It had been years since he last cried, why now of all times? Struggling to keep himself together, he missed the scraping sound of a chair being moved, missed how someone approached him and crouched down next to him until a hand gently covered his own and squeezed it. 

‘Ji’, Hajun murmured, ‘we would never, never ever do anything like that to you.’

He opened his eyes and stared at the older beta, searching his eyes for any trace of this being a lie and finding nothing but sincerity and something akin to understanding.

‘We’re so sorry you had to experience something like this’, Junseo appeared at his other side, crouching down as well and looking up at him. ‘I can see that you aren’t ready to talk about it, but if you ever are, we are here for you, ok?’

He turned his head to look at the alpha, who visibly hesitated before taking his other hand and squeezing it as well. 

Warm. 

Why did he feel so warm?

‘Ji, the reason we want you to eat is because we want you to be healthy. You’re still growing up, you need a healthy diet more than any of us. You are right, we do think you are too skinny but only because we worry about you.’

They what? They worried about him? Surely that couldn’t be right. Why would they? They didn’t know him, even after five months they were still mostly strangers to each other. Nobody had ever worried about him, not since – that day. More tears escaped his eyes and he bit back a sob. 

Why would they worry about someone as broken as him? 

Hajun raised his free hand and brushed away some of the tears.

‘Would you like a hug, Ji?’, he asked softly and Ji surprised himself when he nodded, a sudden urge of wanting to be held and comforted rushing through his body and leaving him almost breathless. With a smile, Hajun opened his arms and he all but threw himself into them, desperately clinging to the beta who so far had been nothing but kind to him. They both had been, he thought hazily as he felt Junseo rubbing circles on his back yet again. A rush of warmth flowed through his body as he realized how careful they both were being even while trying to comfort him.

‘It’s alright. You’re safe, Ji. Nobody will ever hurt you again. We won’t let them’, he heard the alpha whisper and without giving it a second thought he gave in to his impulse and twisted around to hug Junseo as well, surprising all three of them. Junseo chuckled as he gently hugged him back and Ji reached out an arm for Hajun, who smiled softly before joining their group hug. 

Ji couldn’t remember when he had last felt this warm.

They stayed like that for a while, not caring for the curious looks some of the other terrace visitors threw in their direction or the food on the table that was getting cold. It was only when Ji’s knees began to hurt from the rather uncomfortable position of half kneeling on the ground that he slowly drew back. Junseo and Hajun let him go immediately but stayed close and he felt another rush of warmth surging through him.

‘I’m sorry’, he mumbled, averting his eyes and thus missing Junseo’s smile.

‘What for? You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re sorry for pushing you to tell us. And for not realizing what you have been dealing with all this time sooner. We promise, Ji, we won’t ever hurt you. You’re safe with us.’

‘Why?’, he whispered, trying to understand. ‘Why do you care? You don’t even know me.’

Hajun beamed at him. ‘But we are getting to know you. And we care because you deserve to be cared about, Ji. Everyone deserves to have someone who cares for them. And we would love to be that someone for you. If you let us.’ 

They wanted to care for him. If he let them. It sounded too good to be true. But right now, he felt comfortable around them, even if there was still a tiny sliver of doubt at the back of his mind. Maybe it was ok to be selfish for once? Because he really wanted to be cared about. He had longed for it for such a long time now.

‘I think I’d like that’, he whispered. ‘But I’m not used to it, so I don’t know what to do.’

Junseo grinned. ‘You do nothing, you let us do the caring.’ He got up and offered him a hand, helping him off the ground. ‘Seriously, though, Ji’, he continued as they all settled in their chairs again. ‘It’s ok. You can take all the time you need. We don’t expect you to suddenly open up to us or fully trust us or hug us all the time. Although we want you to know that you can. Whenever you need someone to talk to or to hug you, you can come to us, no questions asked, ok?’

He nodded, eyes wide with wonder. How had he been so lucky to find two people who were willing to care for him? They had even offered him a home, he remembered. It didn’t feel like home yet but for the first time since moving into their place he felt like maybe someday it could.

‘Now’, Hajun said, clapping his hands, ‘enough with the gloomy mood. There’s tons of food waiting to be eaten. What do you say, Ji? Do you think you can try to eat at least a little bit? We’re not going to pressure you any further but maybe we can agree on working on this issue together, hm?’

Again, he nodded, eyes roaming the table until zeroing in on a small soup container. Kimchi stew. That had been his favorite before everything happened. He hadn’t had it since. With a small smile he reached for it, reveling in the words of praise from Hajun and Junseo. 

Maybe this would be alright after all.

_____

‘I think I decided to give them a chance that day’, Jimin finished his recount. ‘They had never once done anything to make me feel uncomfortable and I was free to come and go as long as I let them know when I planned to be back so my initial worries about getting trapped or tricked began to fade.’

Yoongi shifted in their blanket cocoon and somehow managed to sneak an arm behind Jimin’s back, drawing him even closer to him. ‘It sounds like your hyungs were wonderful people.’

He meant it, too. It was hard to judge someone just by what you were told about them and Jimin at the time had only been a child, easy to be influenced and controlled. But Yoongi could see that even back then the beta had been a strong person, capable of forming his own opinion and adamant of putting his own safety before anything else. He doubted the younger would have been easy to manipulate into perceiving his hyungs as completely different people from who they actually were. If that had been the case, he wouldn’t be the strong yet compassionate, warm and caring person he was today. Jimin had spent his early teens with Junseo and Hajun and from what Yoongi had heard about them until now it seemed like they had been his role models in many aspects. He couldn’t help but feel grateful to the two unknown men who had selflessly taken in his bond partner as a child even though they themselves struggled to get by. They had given Jimin what he had needed after those obviously horrid years at the orphanage – a home, a family and comfort.

Yoongi couldn’t even begin to imagine how painful losing them must have been to the beta. Losing his birth pack had hurt like hell and it had taken him years to even try to move on from it but this was on a whole different scale. Jimin had gone through so much from such a young age and considering everything Yoongi by now knew about his past or had managed to piece together, he had been so much more vulnerable, too.

‘I’m glad you went with them that day, Jiminie. From what you told me, it’s very obvious that they really cared for you from the moment they found you.’

Jimin smiled sadly. ‘They were so patient all the time. It was hard not to let my walls down around them. That day at the terrace changed everything.’

He frowned suddenly. Something about that wasn’t right but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Thinking hard, he went over that day once again. Yes, he had decided to give them a chance back then. Their hug had felt so incredibly warm and caring and he couldn’t help but yearn for more of that. Still, there was something missing…

‘Hajun and I are going home. Go do whatever you want, Ji. That’s what you’re good at after all, right?’

The memory was unexpected and painful, causing a sudden wave of agony and grief to rush over their bond and immediately alerting Yoongi. Concern filtered through to Jimin as he tried to keep his composure.

How could he have forgotten about that day?

Chapter Text

He was hurrying along the river, making his way back to their place. This was the first time that he had stayed out by himself all day. Until now he had always returned after a few hours and definitely always before nightfall.

Today had been different, though. Today was his birthday and there was something he had to do. Not caring about being recognized or staying out late, he had left the riverside for the first time in half a year. Over the past few weeks he had managed to run a few errands with the help of Junseo and Hajun and they had insisted for him keep the money he had earned even though he had offered to give it to them as a means of paying them back for all they had done for him so far.

‘It’s yours, Ji. Keep it. We’ll let you help with covering our expenses once you recover a bit more. For now, let’s see these as trial runs. What you earn on those is yours to do with as you like’, Junseo had told him and Hajun had smiled, nodding his agreement.

Do with it as he liked. That’s exactly what he had done.

This morning he had gone out with Junseo and Hajun, parting ways with them when they went for their respective errands and making his way to the nearest train station. He had pondered this ever since he earned his first money from an errand. Was it a good idea? He really wasn’t sure. It could go either way. But once the thought had crossed his mind, it hadn’t left again. 

It was just something that he had to do. 

Something that he could do now that he finally had a choice. 

Taking the train, he had grown more and more nervous the closer he got to his destination. Would he even be able to do this? Should he just turn around before it was too late? There was no telling how he would react and he knew he couldn’t afford to draw attention to himself. He wasn’t even sure what he was expecting to come off this, all he knew was that he had longed for this opportunity for a long time. Still, was it really worth the risk?

No, he couldn’t think that way.

He needed do this, he would do it.

And he did. 

Seven years after his life was changed forever he stepped onto that fateful platform again, palms sweaty and heart beating wildly in his chest. Images from the day of the shooting flashed through his mind and he had to close his eyes for a moment. Reaching out a hand, he steadied himself on a nearby pillar and swallowed hard. 

He had to do this.

‘Are you alright?’

He opened his eyes, startled. A man was staring at him in concern.

‘I-‘, his voice cracked.

Shit.

He couldn’t afford to cry right now. Couldn’t afford to draw attention to himself.

Not here.

Not now.

‘Did you lose someone here, too?’, the man asked quietly. There  was something in the tone of his voice that made him look up, finding understanding in the other’s eyes. ‘I lost my best friend that day’, the stranger added, explaining. ‘No matter how much time has passed since then it still hurts as if it was only yesterday.’

He looked around, eyes zeroing in on a pillar with several candles and flowers. So people did still come back here, even after seven years. And now he was finally able to do so as well.

‘I- I lost my family that day. It’s the first time I’m coming back.’

The man gave him a searching look and he shrank into himself. There was something about the stranger that had made him felt compelled to answer his question but the way the guy was mustering him now was more than just a little unsettling. Suppressing a shiver, he tried to hide his anxiousness by meeting the stranger’s stare.

‘You’re-‘, the man began before hesitating. ‘I’m sorry if I’m overstepping and I might be wrong but -  are you the kid I grabbed before hiding under this platform?’

The world around him stilled. 

It was like everything came to a stop at once, movements becoming undetectable, sounds merging together until everything became just one big, inconceivable blur. He saw himself trying to get free from a stranger’s hold again, heard hastily mumbled explanations of guns and shootings and recalled what seemed like an eternity spent in the crowded safety space below the platform - held by a stranger who never stopped muttering comforting words to him, trying to soothe him and ease his terror which sky-rocketed with each gunshot, firing up the fear for his family.

What were the chances of there being another man who had grabbed a child before hiding under the platform that day? This had to be the man who saved him. 

He didn’t know what to think. For years he had loathed having been the only one of his family who survived that day. Living at the orphanage had been absolute hell and more than once he had wished that he had died back then as well. 

But now –

Ever since moving in with Hajun and Junseo he felt like his life was slowly turning around. It was as though there was new hope for him, hope for a at the very least content life. They cared for him, they had proven it time and time again not only after that night at the riverside terrace but from the very moment they found him. Being around them made him feel safe and warm and almost – he paused, blinking in surprised realization – almost happy.

Maybe, just maybe, having survived wasn’t all that bad after all? His parents would have wanted for him to live and be happy, right? They wouldn’t have wanted him to leave with them that day.

Until now, he never had stopped to look at it from this perspective. Too deep had been his grief and pain, to desperate his fear of everything that was going on at the orphanage, too hopeless his outlook for the future. But things were changing now, weren’t they? He had not only run away but also found a place where he felt safe, he had people who looked out for him and cared for him. The thought alone brought a warm feeling to his chest that he hadn’t felt in years.

Blinking hard, he tried to keep his tears at bay.

‘I-‘, he began hesitatingly and then he bowed deeply. ‘Thank you’, he said.

And he really meant it.

Maybe half a year ago he would have run from this man, cursing him for saving him that day, blaming him for his ruined life. But he wasn’t alone anymore, he was safe and he was cared for and looked after and he loved the feeling of that with all his heart.

How was he only realizing that now?

The man touched his shoulder, urging him to straighten up again.

‘There’s no need’, he said quietly. ‘I only did what I felt was right at that moment.’

They exchanged an understanding look and the man smiled softly.

‘Did you bring anything? Flowers? A candle?’ 

‘I have a candle’, he whispered.

The man nodded. ‘I was just about to put mine down. Do you want to do it together?’

They moved in silence, making their way to the memorial pillar, unpacking their candles and lighting them up before setting them on the ground. 

‘I’m sorry it took me so long’, he whispered quietly, allowing a single tear to escape his eyes.

For a long time they just silently stood there in mutual understanding, united in their grief and yet finding solace in each other; oblivious to all the people hustling around them on the busy platform.

He had needed this, he realized. Even though he already knew he would be returning here every year from now on this first time of coming back had been crucial for him, he could tell that much. It didn’t make the hole in his heart any smaller or the pain hurt any less but somehow he felt calmer now. This was the past. He couldn’t change it. Couldn’t change that his family had been taken away that day. Couldn’t change that the man next to him had saved his life. Couldn’t change anything of what had followed after that.

What he could do though, was make his parents proud. Make the most of the life he had now because a stranger had cared enough to save him. Risking his own life for him, even. He wouldn’t let this gift go to waste, wouldn’t disappoint his parents or his brother. From now on, he would look forward, not back. After all, he wasn’t alone anymore. He had Junseo and Hajun and Haneul and all the community people looking out for him. For the first time in years he felt something akin to hope spark in his chest. The future began to shine just a little bit brighter.

He felt the man’s eyes on him and turned his head to meet his gaze.

‘I’ve been wondering about you ever since that day, you know? You disappeared so fast when we resurfaced and I am ashamed to say that I prioritized looking for my friend at first. When I realized he was gone and remembered you, you had already found your family and authorities were taking over. I’m so sorry for your loss. And I apologize that I wasn’t there with you.’

He couldn’t believe that he had finally, for the first time in seven years, found someone who understood just how painful that day had been for him. Someone who shared his grief, who cared enough to say these words to him.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Nobody had ever cared enough to say that to him, yet here he was with a total stranger who seemed to know exactly just how much he longed to hear these words even after seven years. Knowing that he wasn’t the only one still struggling to come to terms with the events of that day was reassuring and calming. It felt like maybe he could finally begin to look forward again, despite the pain still raging inside of him. Others did, too. He owed it to himself, to his family and to everyone else who survived along with him to at the very least give it a try.

‘Don’t apologize’, he whispered, fighting back the tears that so desperately wanted to fall now. ‘You- you saved my life that day. I’m sorry for your loss, too.’

The man nodded. ‘You’re a good kid. I hope you’ve been doing alright?’

He hesitated for a moment. ‘It- wasn’t easy. For a long time it was really, really hard.’

‘But it’s better now?’

A smile formed on his face, eyes crinkling as he thought of Junseo and Hajun. ‘It is. It’s not perfect but a lot better. I think that maybe someday it could be perfect, too.’

He paused, contemplating his next words, weighing them very carefully. ‘I live with my hyungs now. They take really good care of me. It’s because of them that I could finally come back here, too.’

The man smiled, a look of relief crossing his face. ‘I’m very glad to hear that.’

They stood in companionable silence for a long time again, each lost in thought. 

‘I- I have to go home now’, he finally said, realizing that it was getting really late. He hadn’t even told his hyungs where he was going. What had he been thinking? 

‘May I know your name?’, the man asked and he figured that this once he didn’t care for the consequences. After all, this was the man who had saved him. If he couldn’t trust him, then he could trust nobody at all, he thought as he answered. 

He smiled as he learned the man’s name, carving a special place in his heart for the person who had saved his life seven years ago. They would meet here again next year, he was sure of that. 

-----

All in all, things had gone way better than expected, he mused on his way back. He had been prepared for a panic attack, for losing control and breaking down crying. None of that had happened and he had a fleeting suspicion that it was because his savior had been present.

It had felt good, being with someone who shared the same experience, who knew what exactly had happened that day without him having to struggle to find the words to explain. Words that, for some reason, he never seemed to be able to find. It was impossible to really put into words how he felt about this, to explain just how deep the scars were that this one day had left behind. Even if he wanted to, he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to express this.

But now he had someone who understood without words. Someone who had cared enough back then to keep him save. Someone who apparently had never quite forgotten about him, always wondering over the years just what had become of the little boy whom he had held to tightly on that fateful day. Someone who hadn’t hesitated at all to agree when he had asked him to meet there again a year from now on. Someone who had smiled softly at him as they said goodbye, ruffling his hair and saying: ‘Call me hyung, Jimin-ah. Now get home safely. I’ll see you again next year.’

Not in his wildest dreams would he have imagined for this to be the result of him going back to finally say goodbye to his family today. He had expected a breakdown, panic, uncontrollable tears – anything like that really. Never would he have imagined to meet his savior again, to find comprehension and compassion like this. The gruesome experience they had shared all those years ago had formed a bond of deep understanding between them that even years of being apart hadn’t been able to break. This man understood him on a level nobody else would probably ever be able to. Seeing him again next year was already something he was looking forward to.

He didn’t regret going. Not at all. On the contrary, he was determined to go every year from now on. To meet his savior again, to spend this time with him again, knowing that for a short while he could simply be without having to explain anything at all. Maybe next time, he could bring his hyungs along, too. If they wanted to go with him. Something told him they would gladly accompany him.

The thought of them made him pick up his pace even more. He hadn’t intended to stay away so long, it had just happened. He had lost track of time and since he rarely ever had taken the train before he had also underestimated how long the whole trip would take him in general. Not to mention that changing trains had been really confusing and cost him quite some extra time as well.

He could see the outlines of their bridge now and two figures with flashlights pacing in front of it. It didn’t take them long to see him approaching, both immediately running towards him, flashlights pointing in his direction until they could finally see his face, see that it was indeed him. 

Before he could say anything, Hajun engulfed him in a bone crushing hug. 

‘Ji', he exclaimed, ‘are you alright? What happened?’

He tried to answer but Junseo cut him off, letting the light beam run over him, up and down and up again until it came to rest on his face. ‘Are you hurt? Do you need anything?’

Trying to free himself from Hajun’s embrace, he pulled away a bit to look at the alpha.

‘I’m fine’, he reassured and at the other’s disbelieving look he added, ‘I really am. I just- I- today-‘, he broke off, unable to find the right words. ‘I- I guess I lost track of time.’

He felt Hajun stiffen before slowly letting go of him. 

‘You lost track of time?’, the beta asked incredulously.

‘Yes, I-‘

‘You lost track of time?’, Junseo repeated, voice dangerously low. ‘Ji, do you have any idea how worried we were?’

‘I’m-‘

‘Do you, Ji? Everyone was freaking out because you were gone. Everyone, Ji! And you just lost track of time?! We don’t restrict you in any way, you can go out whenever, wherever or how long you want. All we are asking is for you to let us know where you are going or when you are planning to be back. Is that really too much to ask, Ji?’

He shook his head. ‘It wasn’t-‘

‘Ji', Hajun cut in. ‘We were worried sick for you. The whole community has been out and about looking for you ever since we realized you had gone missing. Anything could have happened to you. Do you have any idea how we felt? We promised to keep you safe, didn’t we? How are we supposed to do that when you don’t tell us where you are going?’

‘I didn’t mean to-‘

‘You didn’t mean to?!’, Junseo sounded furious and Ji shrank back a little. ‘You didn’t mean to, yet you did, Ji! You disappeared on us without a word for almost eleven hours, making us worry and alarm the whole community just because you didn’t mean to lose track of time?! That’s not how this works, Ji! We care for you, yes, but that doesn’t mean you can just play us for fools!’

It hurt.

He understood why they were mad but it hurt. It hadn’t been his intention to make them worry, it had been an accident. He had disappointed them, even worse, he had worried them. Maybe it had been unintentional but that didn’t change the facts. Of course they were mad at him, they had every right to be.

Suddenly his chest felt tight, filled with worry.

What could he do to make this right? 

He thought back to his conversation with the man at the platform. To the moment when he had realized that Junseo and Hajun weren’t strangers to him anymore, that their place wasn’t just a safe place to him. That they had become his family, his home. How had it taken him so long to realize that?

If only he had realized it sooner. Why couldn’t he just at the very least let them know that he would be back later today? This wasn’t supposed to happen, he had thought he would be back by early afternoon at the latest but surely he should have expected a trip to the other end of the city to maybe take longer than that. Especially with what he had set out to do today. It made no difference now that he had hurried back as fast as he could as soon as he had noticed how late it was getting.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why hadn’t he told them that he might be out late? Of course they had been looking for him, he should have known they would. What was he supposed to do now, how could he even begin to fix this when words failed him so hard? 

Tears were brimming in his eyes as he watched them exchange a look before turning around and walking back towards their bridge.

‘Hajun and I are going home. Do whatever you want, Ji. That’s what you’re good at after all, right?’

They were mad and he couldn’t even blame them. He had taken them for granted and made them worry and even if it had been unintended, it still wasn’t ok.

Why did this have to happen now? Just when he had figured out how much they actually meant to him? He desperately wanted to curl up somewhere and cry but now wasn’t the time for that. He had to fix this somehow, he thought frantically, watching them walk away from him.

They had never felt so unreachable for him.

Tears spilled from his eyes as he watched the distance between them and him grow bigger with each step they took. They were already halfway back to their bridge and hadn’t even looked back at him once. It hurt to be left behind like this. Fear gripped him at the thought of losing the two people who had given him a home again. He couldn’t lose them, he needed them. They were the only family he had left, what was he supposed to do without them?

He shook himself out of his stupor.

‘Wait’, he shouted, moving to follow them on shaky legs.

They didn’t react at all.

He stumbled and barely caught his footing, staring at their retreating backs in desperation.

‘Please, I really didn’t mean to. It’s because today, it’s- and I-‘, he stumbled over his words now, too, trying to explain himself while hurrying after them. Why couldn’t he find the right words when he so desperately needed them right now? 

He took a deep breath and tried again, words rushing out this time.

‘Please. You don’t understand. Just, please- I- It’s today- my birthday, so it’s- they- that day- it’s when they died and I- I wanted to say goodbye but- there was- him and – he remembered – I remembered – he saved me and I- I couldn’t just leave, I needed to-‘, he struggled to draw in a breath before continuing, desperate to explain himself now that he finally had words, ‘I- I really didn’t mean to but it all took much longer than I thought and the trains were confusing but I hurried home as fast as I could and I never meant to worry anyone and I’m really, really, really so sorry, hyungs!’

A sob wrecked his body and he fell to his knees, unable to keep the pain at bay any longer. How was it that he had been ok on the platform, talking to a relative stranger but now that he was with the people he trusted the most he couldn’t even talk about his past without turning into a crying mess? Things had been going fine, hadn’t they? He had decided to try to move on, to be happier from now on just a few hours ago.

Then why was he feeling so sad now? Why was he feeling the pain and grief as if everything had just happened yesterday? It hadn’t hurt this bad in years, not even back at the platform today so why now? It wasn’t the time, he needed to talk to his hyungs, needed to apologize and make them understand, make things right. He couldn’t afford to lose them. Just why had he been so stupid? He should have just told them that he might be out late. The pain in his chest grew even more at the mere idea of losing them.

What would he even do without them?

He needed them.

‘P- please’, he hiccupped, hunching over and hiding his face in his hands, ‘please, I didn’t mean to- I just- I miss them.‘

Arms circled around him and pulled him into a hug, a hand carding through his hair and another one rubbing familiar circles on his back.

Warmth.

He flung himself at Hajun, holding him as close as possible as sob after sob kept wrecking through his body. He wasn’t even sure what he was crying for.

His family? Himself? His hyungs? 

Maybe it was a bit of everything. 

For years he hadn’t allowed himself to show any weakness, knowing full well what that would mean for him at the orphanage. He had learned that lesson the hard way when he had just arrived there, still in shock and grieving for his family, unable to keep his tears at bay. Kids could be so cruel.

Letting go now it seemed like all the pain and sorrow of the past seven years had decided to mix with his current fear of losing his hyungs over a stupid mistake and he just couldn’t stop crying. 

Vaguely he registered being shifted and lifted up, his arms now around Junseo’s neck as the alpha carried him back home. They were talking to him, but their words didn’t register at all and he just couldn’t seem to stop crying, broken apologies and pleas not to leave him alone spilling from his lips over and over again.

The moment they reached their place, Ji’s sobs intensified even more, relief of being back home mixing with the guilt of having worried his hyungs, the fear of losing them and the grief for his family. Junseo beelined for their mattress, sitting down on it with Ji still in his arms and Hajun settled right next to them. Sensing the beta’s presence, Ji removed his right arm from Junseo’s neck and desperately reached for Hajun, pulling both of his hyungs as close as possible as he cried. 

It took them a long time to calm him down but eventually it seemed like Ji had no tears left to cry anymore. When his sobs finally subsided, Junseo carefully extracted himself from Ji’s left arm and went to grab a bottle of water. Uncapping it, he settled back down and held it out to the boy.

‘Drink’, he said softly. ‘You need to stay hydrated after crying so much.’

Ji’s lower lip quivered dangerously as he took the bottle from the alpha and complied, gulping down the water and only now noticing how dry his throat had become. When he finally had enough Junseo took the bottle from him again, capped it and tossed it behind them on the mattress. 

‘Are you feeling a little better now?’, Hajun asked, one hand still supportively placed on his back.

No, he thought, biting his lip. He wasn’t ok at all.

Junseo sighed. ‘Talk to us, Ji. We can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s wrong.’ 

As if it was that easy. Everything was wrong. He missed his family so much that it hurt like the day it all happened again. And just when he had figured out that he had somehow been lucky enough to find a new family he had disappointed his hyungs and made them worry. What if they didn’t want him around anymore now? His eyes watered again at the thought and he quickly squeezed them shut. He couldn’t let it come to that; he couldn’t lose them, too.

 ‘I’m so sorry, h-hyungs. P-please’, he choked out, ‘please don’t send me away.’

The silence that followed was deafening to his ears and he couldn’t help the whimper that escaped him as he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. Someone shifted next to him and a hand came up to his face, gently cupping his cheek. 

‘Look at me, Ji’, Hajun coaxed and although he really didn’t want to he also didn't dare upsetting his hyung any more than he already had. He opened his eyes and found Hajun staring at him with an incredulous expression and nothing but warmth in his eyes.

‘Why on earth would we send you away, Ji?’, the beta asked, eyes boring into those of the younger.

Why?

He thought the answer was obvious. Shouldn’t the question rather be why wouldn’t they send him away? But he wasn’t the one asking the questions and he really didn’t want to make things with his hyungs worse so he figured it would be best to answer as best as he could.

‘I messed up’, he said, voice quivering. ‘I didn’t listen to your request and went out without telling you. I disappointed you and made you worry and alerted the whole community.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just- I’ll tell you everything, I promise, just please don’t make me leave.’

Hajun pulled him into a hug. ‘That’s no reason for us to send you away, Ji. Didn’t we tell you that this place was as much your home now as it is ours? You’ll always be welcome here, nobody will ever send you away.’

‘But I-‘

‘You messed up a little bit’, Junseo interrupted him and he turned his head to look at the alpha. ‘Do you think we never mess up? Do you want me to tell you about the time Hajun here built a cardboard home and forgot to fasten the corner pieces to the roof so the whole thing came crashing down on an unsuspecting Haneul while he was sleeping peacefully?’ He snorted at the memory. ‘You should have heard the string of curses Haneul let out. It was hilarious.’

Hajun scowled at the alpha. ‘As if you are any better. Need I remind you of when you decided that maggots were better for fishing than artificial bait so you got a whole batch and stored them in the storage building but then you didn’t completely close the lid of the jar they were kept in and they infested Haneul’s food supplies?’ He turned to Ji. ‘You should have seen the look on Haneul’s face when he noticed that a third of our supplies were ruined. The two of them kept blaming each other for not storing their stuff correctly, it was comedy gold.’

Ji couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him, involuntarily turning the attention back to himself. 

Junseo smiled. ‘See, Ji’, he reassured, ‘we all mess up sometimes. That’s not a reason to send someone away. Everyone makes mistakes, we just learn from them and do better next time, hm?’

‘Besides’, Hajun added, ‘we have to apologize, too.’

Ji blinked.

What?

Slowly he shook his head, confused. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong.’

Hajun sighed. ‘But we did, Ji. We shouldn’t have gotten this angry with you without letting you explain first. You tried and we cut you off every single time.’

‘It really wasn’t ok’, Junseo took over. ‘We should have listened to what you were trying to tell us instead of just assuming. We should have trusted that you had a reason for coming home this late.’

He stared at them. They were apologizing to him because they hadn’t heard him out? But they hadn’t been obligated to do so at all. He had broken their trust in him first, they had a right to be angry. 

Again, he shook his head. This wasn’t their fault, it was his. He should have told them.

Junseo sighed and moved to place a reassuring hand on his arm, making the boy look up at him.

‘Let’s just agree that we all messed up a little bit here then, hm? Yes, you should have told us that you might be out late but by now we figure that you didn’t just lose track of time while having fun, right? And that’s exactly why we should have let you explain. We’re sorry, too. We never meant to make you cry like this. Or make you feel unwelcome here. This is your home, too, just as much as it is ours. We want you to be here with us, Ji.’

He stared at them for a long moment, taking in their warm and reassuring expressions. They wouldn’t send him away, they had said so and he believed them. Not once since he came here had they lied to him. He was wanted here. It was his home. Warmth spread through him at the feeling of being welcome and appreciated. His hyungs were really the best. 

‘Jimin’, he whispered, averting his eyes.

‘Jimin?’, Hajun repeated softly.

He nodded. ‘My name. Park Jimin.’ 

‘That’s a beautiful name’, Junseo said, turning to him with bright eyes. ‘Thank you for trusting us with it, Jimin-ah. We won’t tell anyone else, we promise you that.’

Jimin-ah.

It was the second time someone called him that today. It had been so long since he last heard it. Hearing it from his savior had been nice but hearing it from his hyungs was so much more. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed it.

Jimin-ah.

More warmth flooded him at the affectionate term as he nodded. He trusted his hyungs, otherwise he wouldn’t have told them his name Of course they would keep it a secret. They hadn’t told anyone what they knew about him yet. Somehow he just knew that his name would be safe with them as well. As would be his story.

‘I-‘, he hesitated but then he made up his mind. Those were his hyungs, his family. They deserved to know who the boy they had given a home was. ‘I want to tell you about today. And-‘, he stocked again, ‘and about the past.’

They exchanged a worried look. ‘Jimin-ah’, Hajun said carefully. ‘You know you don’t have to do that, right? We didn’t mean to pressure you into talking to us. It’s totally ok if you don’t tell us, we’d understand that.’

Jimin nodded. He knew they didn’t mean to pressure him. And they really hadn’t. But just like visiting the platform today, he felt like this was something he needed to do in order to truly be able to finally move on.

‘I know’, he said, ‘but I really do want to tell you.’

And tell them he did.

About his family and the happy times they spent together even though they didn’t have much. About the amusement park and about how jealous he had been of his classmates who all got to go when he didn’t. About how his parents had saved up to take him there on his birthday and about how they had been ripped away from him that same day. He broke down at that point and Hajun held him close and let him cry, whispering sweet nothings in his ear while Junseo once again rubbed circles on his back. 

He sobbed his way through the rest of his story, telling them about the dreaded orphanage and the reason why he had to run away and finally about why he had been home so late today. When he finished they both hugged him tight, apologizing again for what they called their overreaction at his being late and telling him how glad they were to have found him, the perfect addition to their little family. It made him cry some more, happy tears this time, and they engulfed him in a group hug that felt incredibly warm to him.

‘It’s alright, Jimin-ah’, Hajun murmured gently. ‘You did so great to tell us about this. We promise your story is safe with us.’

Junseo nodded. ‘You’ve been through a lot and you’re still doing so well. It must have been hard to deal with all of that by yourself. But you have us now, you know? We’re here for you, Jimin-ah. You won’t ever have to fear losing us, we’ll always be here with you. And we would never send you away over anything. You’ll have us for as long as you want us, hm?’

Tears welled up in Jimin’s eyes again at that. There was no doubt in his mind anymore that he wanted them; that he needed them. They had been so patient and good to him and they had become his family and his home without him even noticing it. Hearing Junseo say that they, too, wanted him, lifted a huge burden off him.

‘Promise?’, he whispered tearily.

His hyungs smiled, engulfing him in another hug.

 ‘Of course’, Junseo said quietly.

‘We promise, Jimin-ah’, Hajun added. ‘You’ll always have us.’

That night he fell asleep nestled between the two of them on their mattress, feeling the lightest he had felt in years, sparks of hope swirling in his chest. On his 14^th birthday he had finally been able to properly say goodbye to his family, finding not only someone from his past again but also, unexpectedly even to him, a new family in the process. 

For the first time in seven years he felt like maybe one day he could be happy again.

Chapter Text

‘Jiminie?’

Yoongi was beginning to worry. Jimin hadn’t reacted to him for several minutes now. He wasn’t sure what exactly happened but something seemed to have triggered the beta. One moment they had been talking about Jimin’s hyungs and the next the younger spaced out, blankly staring ahead while a myriad of emotions rushed through their bond.

Pain was the first thing Yoongi had noticed. It had been there from the moment he became aware of the bond but this was different. He hadn’t been prepared for the agonizing, raw pain that suddenly took over. It was so excruciating that it threatened to consume him as well and it took him a moment to detach himself enough from it to stay level-headed.

With the pain came deep sorrow, sad fondness and something that Yoongi could only describe as pining melancholy. It didn’t take him long to realize that Jimin was reliving a moment from his past that held both painful and fond memories for him.

It was understandable, too. Jimin had just spoken about his time with his hyungs for the first time in years, maybe even for the first time ever. It must have set off a series of memories that the younger probably had locked away tightly in order to keep the pain he felt at a minimum. And even that minimum was still a lot, Yoongi mused as he thought back to the underlying heartache that had thrummed through their bond from the very beginning.

This though – this was on a whole different level. If he wasn’t careful, he could easily drown in this despair as well. No wonder Jimin had tried to lock it all away. Maybe it wasn’t a healthy way to deal with grief but if Yoongi had been in Jimin’s position – alone and hurt so deeply – he might just have done exactly the same.

Come to think of it, he had done the same, hadn’t he? After losing his birth pack he had locked himself up as well, determined to keep away from anything that could ever hurt him like this again. Until his mates had stepped in and made it impossible for him to keep his walls up.

A sharp spark of pain rushed through him at the thought and he couldn’t help but wonder if they ever had cared as much about him as he cared about them. With the way they had been acting towards him lately he couldn’t help but feel like he had always been the odd one out in their relationship – especially after hearing that they even had a pack day without him. The thought sent another stab to his heart, making Jimin stir next to him.

Shit.

Yoongi silently berated himself for being so inconsiderate as to add to Jimin’s already immense pain with his own. Now wasn’t the time to think of his mates, he would deal with that situation when he felt ready for it. For the time being his priority should be Jimin.

He couldn’t help the fondness that once again spread through him at the thought of being bonded to the one person who he felt could really understand him. The more he learned about Jimin, the more he came to realize that the two of them shared a lot of experiences that helped them understand just what exactly the other was dealing with and what he needed.

And Jimin right now needed a hug, he decided. This painful flashback had lasted long enough. Carefully he reached for the younger and drew him closer.

‘Jiminie?’, he asked again, focusing on his emotions and trying his best to drown out the younger’s pain and sorrow with affection and reassurance. For a long while nothing changed. Yoongi’s heart ached for Jimin. How had he managed to keep such anguish and despair to himself for years? It just wasn’t ok, nobody should have to deal with something this agonizing all by themselves. Especially not Jimin. Never Jimin. The beta was the most supportive and reassuring person he had ever met. He took care of Yoongi, the kids and, from what Yoongi had heard and seen so far, of the community to some extend as well. How was it fair that he himself had nobody to turn to?

This would change now, though. Yoongi was not going to let the beta continue on such a lonely, unhealthy path. He wasn’t sure what it would take to heal pain as deep as this; if it was even possible at all, but he was determined to do whatever he could to see Jimin happy again.

‘Jiminie’, he repeated for the third time, voice more firm now, placing a hand to Jimin’s face and turning the beta’s head so they were facing each other. ‘Come on, Jimin-ah, look at me.’

Seconds ticked by as Yoongi channeled all his positivity into their bond, waiting for a reaction from the younger. And then Jimin blinked. Once. Twice. Yoongi released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. The overwhelming pain and sorrow that had been overpowering their bond slowly began to subside as Jimin’s eyes came back into focus.

‘Hyung?’, he aked quietly, looking a bit confused.

Yoongi smiled at him. ‘There you are’, he said gently. ‘I think you got a little lost in your memories just now.’

Realization flashed in Jimin’s eyes and Yoongi felt a slight rush of agitation over the bond.

‘I’m sorry, hyung’, he whispered, averting his eyes. Yoongi could tell that he was still a little out of it. And probably also quite worn out after this emotional rollercoaster. Talking about his past couldn’t have been easy for him and that flashback had probably been mentally exhausting.

‘Don’t apologize’, he replied, getting up to readjust their makeshift nest and the pillows before lying down, drawing Jimin with him. ‘Your past is a part of you, it made you who you are today. You have every right to feel about it the way you do, no matter how painful or joyful it is or how sad or happy it makes you feel. Don’t ever apologize for something like that, Jimin-ah.’

Jimin sighed next to him. ‘But you- I- the bond-‘, he trailed of, not sure how to put his worries into words.

‘The bond is meant to share these things. It’s for us to know how the other is feeling, to help when one of us is not doing well. Besides, even if it wasn’t, I would always want to know what you are feeling, Jiminie. No matter how painful it is. I want to know when you are hurting or when you are sad or when you are struggling with something so I can support you in the best way possible. And I want to know when you are happy because then I can be happy with you.’

‘I don’t think happiness is meant for me.’

It caught Yoongi off-guard. Not only the statement itself but also the way Jimin had uttered it. Collected and emotionless, even their bond staying unaffected by it. Almost as if he had resigned himself to never be happy again. Almost as if it didn’t matter to him. Almost as if he himself didn’t matter.

Just the thought of the beta having given up on his own happiness had Yoongi’s mind reeling. He could feel his wolf being upset about this as well, a strong urge to protect arising in him all of a sudden. It took all of his willpower to suppress it. Now wasn’t the time for instinctual urges.

‘That’s not true, Jimin-ah. Happiness is meant for everyone. You deserve to be happy.’

Jimin worried his bottom lip. ‘I- I don’t know, hyung. Whenever I was happy in the past, everything was taken away from me. I just – I’m not going to risk that again. Happiness is scary.’

And that was probably the saddest thing Yoongi had ever heard in his life. Happiness was not meant to be scary, it was meant to do what the term implied, make people happy. Just how much had Jimin suffered that he was too afraid to allow himself to be happy again? And how on earth could he take away that fear from the younger and help him find his own happiness?

Jimin’s fear of happiness most likely connected deeply to being terrified of losing the people close to him. From what Yoongi could put together so far, the younger had probably lost his family twice, first his birth family and then his hyungs. Yoongi could understand in a way. When his birth pack had expelled him, he had been scared to get attached again as well. And yet he had somehow found the courage and taken the plunge when his mates had offered to extend their courtship to him.

Just like Jimin was doing with Yoongi and their bond now.

The difference with Yoongi though was that while after getting mated the fear of losing what he was having now had become a constant companion to him, it hadn’t stopped him from living in the moment and enjoying his life to the fullest. Until that damn night several weeks ago Yoongi had been genuinely happy despite any abandonment issues he might have.

Jimin however seemed to deny himself happiness. And again, in a way Yoongi could understand. He had felt the intensity of the younger’s pain and he could see why Jimin did not want to risk ever having to go through something like that again. But where did that leave him? What kind of life could he even lead if he didn’t allow himself to be happiness?

Which led Yoongi back to his initial question. Just what was he supposed to do about this? It wasn’t like he could just promise Jimin that he didn’t have to be afraid, that he would never have to fear losing him. Yoongi wasn’t a fool. Even if he had no intention at all to ever leave the younger behind, life could be cruel in so many ways. And it had already been cruel to Jimin twice. A promise like this would just be an empty shell, it would only be pretty on the outside without holding any real value. Yoongi was sure Jimin would recognize it as such as well. There was no way he would ever promise Jimin something that he had no control over.

‘You know, Jiminie’, he began carefully, ‘when I lost my birth pack, I never wanted to get close to anyone ever again. But my mates made that impossible for me. As much as I tried, I couldn’t stay away from them in the end. And I didn’t regret it. After mating, I became the happiest I ever was in my life. And I’m not going to lie to you and say that it didn’t scare me because it did. The fear of losing them has become my constant companion from the moment I accepted their courting offer. You have seen for yourself how much I struggle with the current situation. What is happening right now with my mates is my worst fears coming true. But despite all that, I don’t regret having let them in back then, I’m still glad I accepted their courtship and became their mate. Do you know why?’

Jimin shook his head, looking a little bit lost with what Yoongi was telling him right now.

Yoongi smiled wistfully. ‘Because no matter what might come in the future, they have given me some of the happiest years of my life. Years and memories that nobody can ever take away from me again. Yes, I am currently hurting and scared as hell that I might end up losing them but that doesn’t change the past. I was happy with them. I enjoyed being with them. Whatever will come, I at the very least have that. And I will always hold those memories close to my heart.’

He turned his head to look at Jimin, noticing that the younger seemed to be listening intently. ‘What I’m trying to say is’, Yoongi continued softly, ‘that happiness always comes with a risk. Nothing we have in life is a guaranteed forever. That is why, as much as I want to, I cannot just take away your fears by promising you that you will never lose me.’

A gasp escaped Jimin at that and his eyes grew wide as he lifted himself up on his elbows to give Yoongi an incredulous look. Fearing that the beta had gotten the wrong idea, Yoongi hurried to explain himself.

‘Don’t get me wrong, I have no intention at all to ever leave you behind. Not willingly. If it was just up to me, I’d never leave. But I don’t know what life has planned for me. Fate is something none of us can control. Promising to never leave you would be unfair to you because anything could happen to make it impossible to keep my promise at any given time. Do you understand what I am trying to say, Jiminie?’

Jimin was still staring at him with the same incredulous expression, silently studying Yoongi’s face as if he was searching for something. Just when Yoongi was beginning to worry that maybe the younger had gotten the wrong idea, a single tear rolled down Jimin’s cheek and then he threw himself on top of the alpha without warning, hugging him with all his might.

‘Jimin-ah?’, Yoongi asked, feeling a bit out of his depths with this quite unexpected reaction.

Jimin sighed against his chest. ‘Thank you’, he whispered almost inaudibly, making Yoongi’s confusion grow even more. Apparently it now was strong enough to filter into their bond as well because Jimin suddenly lifted his head again to look at him.

‘For not promising something that is out of your control, hyung. You could have promised me. My hyungs did, back when I finally told them about my past. T-they promised I would always have them, that they would never l-leave me. I guess it was my fault, too. I kind of asked for them to promise me. And I logically knew it was a promise they couldn’t really make, I knew there were too many factors that they had no control over but back then I wanted to believe them. I did believe them.’

A sad look crossed his face and he sighed. ‘But it’s as you said, hyung, we can’t control fate. I know they never thought they would d-, l-leave me behind like this a-and-‘ his voice broke and he took a shaky breath before continuing, ‘and I have known all along that it was only a symbolic promise but it still hurts to know that the one promise they didn’t get to keep was the one that had been the most important to me. It’s irrational, I know that. But it keeps coming back to haunt me and it hurts every time I remember those words because they are not here anymore when I expected them to be. It feels like they let me down even though I they would never have left me behind if they had a choice. My mind just-’, he swallowed hard, ‘it- it’s hard to remind myself of that sometimes. I- it feels like a broken promise when it’s not and I just wish I had never asked them to promise me.’

Jimin frowned as he thought over what he just told Yoongi and let out a bitter little laugh. ‘I was really stupid back then, huh? Asking for and trusting in a promise even though I was aware that it was something out of their control. All I did was h-hurt myself in the end.’

Shaking his head, Yoongi hummed. ‘You were a kid, Jimin-ah. Just about a teenager, how old again, thirteen or fourteen? And you obviously had been through a lot before, am I not right? Of course you wanted to believe in that promise. It probably gave you confidence that everything would be alright, it assured you that you had found your place with them, that they wanted you and that you could finally begin moving forward. Like a safety net.’

Yoongi had no idea where he came up with that but it made sense to him. All he knew was that he himself had longed for a safety net like that when his birth pack began to turn on him. He probably would have clung to any promise in just the same way as Jimin had done if he had ever gotten one - no matter how unplausible it might have been.

Jimin sat up and stared at him, realization dawning on his features. For several minutes he said nothing, silently replaying Yoongi’s words in his head over and over again before finally speaking up again. ‘I- I- h-hyung, I think you are right. It really was my safety net. Having that promise gave me so much strength to work hard on myself, to get settled into the community, to improve my mental health, to deal with my issues. Everything I did was because I knew they would be there, helping me to find my way. I- I wanted them to be proud of me.’

Yoongi smiled. ‘I’m sure they were, Jimin-ah. They must have seen how hard you were trying, they must have been so proud of you. And maybe they also knew how much you needed their promise. I can’t say for sure because I didn’t know them but from what you told me I feel like your hyungs had a pretty good idea of what you were going through and what you needed from them. I don’t know what happened to them but I’d venture to say that they only had good intentions when they promised you. If they had had the chance, they’d have kept their promise to you, I’m sure of that.’

Pausing, he looked up at the younger from his position on the mattress, noticing the tears that once again were falling from Jimin’s eyes. ‘You did so well, Jiminie. Back then with your hyungs and now, too. It must be so hard for you to talk about this. I know you’ve been hurt really badly before, I understand why you feel like you can’t allow yourself to feel happy again. But Jimin-ah’, he reached out a hand to wipe some of the tears from the beta’s face, ‘you deserve to live a life you are excited about. You deserve people around you who care for you. You deserve being able to pursue your dreams, whatever they may be. And most of all, you deserve to be happy. I know it’s scary. It’s terrifying actually just how much we have at stake all the time if we allow ourselves to be happy. Trust me, I know that very well. But do you know what is even more scary?’

‘T-there’s nothing more scary, h-hyung’, Jimin tried to protest between his tears.

With a sigh, Yoongi shook his head. ‘That’s where you’re wrong, Jimin-ah. It’s even more scary to look back on your life in some thirty or forty years from now and realizing that you haven’t lived it to the fullest. It’s even more scary having to realize that your fear prohibited you from having what you dreamed of and could have had if only you had found the courage to reach for it. This might sound cliché, but we only live once, Jiminie. Don’t let the experience from the past take away your chances for the future. It’s ok to be afraid. I am, too. But we can be afraid and do it anyway, hm? Let’s create a lot of new, happy memories together for as long as we can. Memories that, no matter what may happen in the future, will always be ours to look back on.’

Jimin’s mind was racing, Yoongi’s words just now still echoing in his ears. He had seen with his own eyes just how hurt the alpha was by his mates’ behavior and still, despite being scared of losing them, he had said he didn’t regret all the happy times he spent with them, that he would always cherish those memories. Did Jimin regret the time he had gotten to spend with his family and his hyungs? Had he been looking at this from the wrong perspective all this time?

Gingerly he tried to recall moments when he had been genuinely happy, gasping when images of time spent with his families flashed through his mind without warning. It was as though a dam had broken, happy memories that he had tried to block out for years in order to protect himself resurfacing one after another, leaving him almost breathless. He had been so scared to look back at these times, convinced that recalling them would bring him even worse pain and despair.

And yet – yet somehow, it didn’t hurt as bad as he thought it would. Yes, there was the all too familiar pain of loss and grief that he had grown so accustomed to over the years but much more than that he felt warmth and fondness as he recalled the many precious moments spent with both of his families.

It was comforting, he realized with a start. His parents, his brother, his hyungs – they had loved him just as much as he loved them and they had shown it to him in so many ways. Ways that were engraved into his heart and mind in the form of these memories that he had kept locked away so tightly all this time.

Yoongi was right, he thought to himself. He didn’t regret any of the time spent with either of his families. While he wished with all he had that he could change the past and bring them back, he knew that was impossible. But would he rather not have made these memories at all? Would he rather not have any fond memories of his parents and brother, would he rather not have met his hyungs? Wasn’t it better that he got to spend whatever little time they had had together? His heart ached at just the thought of not having any memories with them at all.

Familiar feelings of fondness, affection and warmth flooded him as image after image kept resurfacing. It felt a little bit as though they were still there with him. And weren’t they? The thought came out of nowhere and knocked all air out of him. Weren’t they still with him? They were in his heart, in his memories. He might not be able to see them or talk to them or hold them close anymore but they were still with him, he realized as a desperate sob escaped him. They had never really left him, they were a part of him for as long as he could remember them.

How had he never realized that before?

Jimin crumbled, shoulders hunched over as he hid his face in his hands, silent tears turning into heart wrenching sobs as grieve and relief mixed in a painful, confusing concoction. Vaguely he was aware of hands reaching out for him and drawing him back down onto the mattress until his head came to rest on Yoongi’s chest, the alpha nuzzling into his hair while holding him close. He could hear Yoongi’s deep, soothing voice from far away but he wasn’t able to make out any words. Desperate sobs kept shaking his body, years of held back memories and built up grief, sorrow, pain and anger finally finding their way to the surface, exploding in an uncontrollable mix of despair and, oddly enough, fondness, hope and warmth.

Warmth.

He knew this kind of warmth. It was the same warmth he had felt from his parents, his brother, his hyungs. An all-encompassing warmth that had always made him feel safe and cared for and – he choked on another desperate sob as realization hit him hard – happy. This was the kind of warmth that had made him happy in the past.

Yoongi, he thought hazily as he grabbed onto the alpha’s shirt, dimly aware of the other’s comforting presence. He could be happy with Yoongi, right? For a moment he allowed himself to imagine what being happy with the alpha could be like before seeing it all fall apart right in front of his inner eye, Yoongi disappearing without a trace, leaving Jimin to fend for himself for the third time in his life.

No.

He couldn’t take that risk. How would he ever deal with it if it came to that? There was no guarantee this time would be meant to last. What if fate just wanted to be extra cruel by giving him a bond partner just to take him away as well? Jimin didn’t want to lose Yoongi, didn’t want to be separated from him. But staying with Yoongi would mean he might become happy again. And being happy again most likely would end up with fate taking away the source of his happiness.

Yoongi.

He didn’t want to lose Yoongi.

What was he supposed to do now?

Jimin didn’t notice when his sobs turned into wails, didn’t hear Yoongi’s now more desperate voice trying to calm him down, didn’t feel the grounding pressure of the elder’s arms around him. It was only when his face was guided to Yoongi’s neck and he caught a whiff of the alpha’s coffee and whiskey scent that he regained some tiny semblance of clarity. Sniffling he nuzzled closer, trying to catch more of the scent that had always felt so comforting to him.

‘That’s it’, he thought he heard Yoongi whisper close to his ear, the elder’s hands rubbing reassuring circles on his back. Just like Junseo-hyung had always done, Jimin thought hazily, inhaling more of the alpha’s precious scent. Slowly he began to calm down, wails turning back into sobs and then to shaky breaths and hiccups.

Jimin’s mind was blank at this point. Try as he might, he couldn’t form a single coherent thought. All he knew was that for some reason he felt safe and warm and cared for and that he didn’t want that feeling to end.

Silence engulfed them for a long time as Jimin slowly regained control of himself. He had no idea what had just come over him, what had made him lose control like that after all those years of steeling himself enough to not let anything faze him.

But Yoongi seemed to have this effect on him, he thought tiredly. The alpha somehow had managed to get through to him from the very beginning. It was frustrating and infuriating in a way, seeing all his efforts of locking himself away go to waste in such a short time. But Jimin also wouldn’t want to go back to how things were before he met Yoongi. As much as this current situation terrified him, he couldn’t deny  that it was nice to not be alone anymore. And he loved the way the elder was able to understand and ease even his deepest fears.

With Yoongi, for the first time in years Jimin felt somewhat alive again.

‘I’m sorry, Jiminie’, Yoongi finally said, breaking the silence, ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you over the edge like this, I was just worried for you. You do deserve to be happy but I understand why you are scared of that. I won’t pressure you like this again, I promise. We’ll go at your pace and see where it will take us, hm?’

And that was just it, Jimin thought. That was the reason why he could not be upset about Yoongi taking down his walls one by one and leaving him vulnerable again. Yoongi understood him like nobody else ever had, not even his hyungs. There was no way he could just let go of this chance, right? Not when Yoongi was so caring and understanding and warm.

Warm.

A familiar feeling of hope sparked in his chest and he sighed against the elder’s neck. He never really stood a chance, did he? As much as it messed with his current plans and terrified him, deep down he knew he would regret it if he weren’t going to take this chance.

‘Don’t apologize’, he whispered, voice still hoarse from crying so much. With an effort, he pulled away from Yoongi’s neck and lifted his head to meet the alpha’s eyes, finding only fondness in his gaze. His mouth opened and closed a few times. It was hard to find the right words he thought, swallowing hard before trying again.

‘I don’t know if I can be happy again, hyung. It’s a terrifying thought and just- I would have so much to lose. But you were right with what you said, too. I would never want to miss the memories I made with my family or my hyungs and I- I want memories with you, too, Yoongi-hyung. Happy memories. I- I don’t know if I can do it but I think I at least want to try.’

Jimin really meant it. He already had bonded with Yoongi which put him in a vulnerable position which he couldn’t change anymore. There was no turning back on this, there was no way he could just reject this bond. It was way too precious to him. Losing it, be it by choice, rejection or fate would always bring pain. He knew that he had no control over what might happen in the future. The least he could do was try to create as many good memories as he could before it all would start to fall apart yet again. Hold on to it for as long as it lasted. He could at least try.

‘I’m so proud of you, Jiminie’, Yoongi said with a gentle smile, warm affection encompassing Jimin via their bond. It was the type of affection Jimin could drown in if he wasn’t careful and honestly at this point, he really didn’t want to be. He had longed for comfort like this for way too long.

‘We’ll work on this together, hm?’, the elder continued. ‘Happiness is not something you can force but if you choose to be open to it, it will find you. All you have to do is give it a chance. ’ Yoongi frowned at his own words. He almost sounded like Namjoon now, didn't he? What the heck was he even saying? Was he turning into some kind of wannabe philosopher now? What kind of nonsense was this happiness will find you if you give it a chance stuff? As if life worked that way. He scoffed at himself. ‘Never mind me, Jimin-ah. I have no idea from what detached parts of my brain that nonsense just came from. But hey, it doesn’t sound all that bad, does it?’

Jimin giggled, a genuine smile forming on his face for the first time in what felt like hours to Yoongi.

‘It’s ok, hyung, I think I get what you were trying to say. I- I think I denied myself being happy for a long time. And I don’t know if I can just change that right away because even if I want to it’s still terrifying. But I really do want to try.’

Yoongi hummed in understanding. ‘Maybe we can start with something that you enjoy? What made you happy in the past?’, he wanted to know.

And then he realized what he just asked and paled. ‘I mean, not people, obviously, I didn’t mean that. I mean- I know there were and it’s not-, I didn’t mean-, shit. It’s not about that- you know, Jiminie‘, he broke off with an annoyed sigh after having talked himself into an almost panicked frenzy without seeming to find the right words to express himself.

Again, Jimin giggled, eyes crinkling and almost disappearing this time. ‘I know, hyung’, he reassured between airy sniggers before sobering up and giving Yoongi a contemplating look.

‘I used to love dancing’, he admitted quietly. ‘When I was a child, before – before everything changed, I used to take lessons. I think it made me really happy. But I haven’t danced in years, not since – well not since I was a child. I don’t know-‘, he broke off, looking a little lost.

‘Would you like to dance again?’, Yoongi asked quietly.

Jimin looked conflicted. ‘I- I don’t know, hyung. It’s scary and I- I don’t know if it would still be the same or if it would only hurt. M-Maybe someday but not- maybe someday.’

Taking in Jimin’s drawn expression, Yoongi nodded his understanding and decided to let it rest for now. The younger looked like he was about to pass out any minute. Which didn’t surprise him at all considering the emotional rollercoaster this morning had been. Maybe they should try to get some more rest.

He gave Jimin a scrutinizing look. ‘We don't have to talk about this now. You look tired, Jimin-ah. Do you have any errands scheduled for today?’

The beta shook his head. ‘I asked Soobin and Yeonjun to take over the ones I had accepted for today before we parted last night. You-‘ he hesitated for a brief second, ‘you were pretty out of it and I didn’t want to risk having to leave you on your own this morning.’

Always so damn caring, Yoongi thought as yet another wave of affection rushed through him. ‘Let’s get some more rest then, Jiminie. You look like you need it.’

Jimin didn’t protest when alpha reached out and drew him close until he was snuggled into the elder’s side. The last time he had felt this completely and utterly drained had been when he had learned his hyungs weren’t going to come back. Back then he had fallen into an exhausted sleep all alone though. But this time, he was not. This time he had Yoongi next to him, comforting and reassuring and so warm. Yes, some more rest definitely sounded good, he thought sleepily.

By the time Yoongi had managed to somehow drape a blanket over them with his remaining free arm, the younger was already fast asleep, a faint smile playing on his lips.

Chapter Text

When Jimin woke up again he was still huddled into Yoongi’s side, the alpha lying on his back and watching him with a fond expression. A content feeling spread through him and he sent the elder a sleepy smile.

‘Feeling better?’, Yoongi asked quietly.

Blinking to shake off the sleepiness, Jimin nodded in slight confusion. ‘Better’, he confirmed, voice a bit raspy from still being half asleep. He was feeling quite tired but it was nothing he wasn’t used to. For a minute or two, he felt a bit lost as to what exactly Yoongi had been referring to with his question, but then the events of this morning began to come back to him.

Right.

He was bonded.

And he had told Yoongi about his hyungs.

For the first time in years, Jimin had talked about them and it had hurt way less than he would have expected to. It had been so damn hard to talk about this but he really didn’t regret it. Somehow he felt like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders this morning, even though everything had been extremely exhausting and he was still insecure about a lot of things.

There was one thing he was absolutely sure about, though.

Jimin wanted this bond with Yoongi.

He wanted to revel in this feeling of having someone who understood him and cared for him – even if having something like this meant a huge risk of being hurt again in the future. There was no way he wanted to go back to the lonely solitude from before. Not now that he had caught a glimpse of how things could be if he let someone into his life again.

It would be hard, he knew that. Years of keeping to himself couldn’t just be undone like that. Heck, he wasn’t even sure he wanted for that to happen. His safety mechanisms were what had carried him through the past five years. Somehow he doubted he could just become another person overnight.

He would just have to try his best. Surely, Yoongi would understand, right? The alpha had been nothing but reassuring and supportive all this time. If he was willing to wait for Jimin then there was no way Jimin wouldn’t work hard on himself.

Jimin wanted the bond with every fibre of his being. He couldn’t quite put a finger on why he wanted it so badly when he had been fine by himself all these years but there was no denying that he longed for this. Besides, his wolf was practically over the moon about this judging by the little happy jolts zapping through him from time to time. If he were to reject this bond, his wolf would probably never forgive him.

Jimin wasn’t sure if he would be able to forgive himself, either.

Whatever this bond meant, he wanted it.

He frowned, realizing how little he actually knew about bonding. They had learned a bit about bonding theory in school but Jimin had run from the orphanage before they had gotten a chance to dive deeper into the topic. Not that he had paid much attention anyway. Even back then he already really hadn’t seen himself being bonded to someone and putting himself at such risk of being hurt again at any time in his life.

Jimin almost snorted at how innocently he had thought he could avoid being bonded back then. It wasn’t that easy, was it? Even without having had any intentions to ever be bonded, he still hadn’t been able to avoid it. Not that he minded. He really didn’t. Not when his bond partner was Yoongi.

But still – he really didn’t know much about bonds at all.

‘Hyung‘, Jimin murmured, unsure how to continue. Yoongi hummed questioningly but Jimin just made a shaking motion with his head, indicating that he had nothing else to say. The elder’s grip on him tightened a bit as he tried to figure out his thoughts. 

Jimin wasn’t sure how to breech the topic. He might not be very knowledgeable about bonding theory but from what he knew – or at least from what he thought he knew – bonding without mating had become extremely rare in these times. It had been more common back when their wolves had been more dominant and the human side had still been mostly suppressed or, as people called it today, less developed. And it made sense, too, Jimin thought. Wolves were driven by instinct, they’d probably simply know when someone fit well with them.

As the human side evolved and the wolf traits began to fade, this form of bonding had become almost extinct, though. Nowadays, a bonding without mating was rarely ever heard of. People courted, fell in love, decided to mate and then bonded through the mating bite. That much was common knowledge whereas the old form of bonding had almost turned into a myth.

Jimin sighed. Apparently it wasn’t a myth at all seeing as he currently felt Yoongi’s affection for him. And happiness, he realized with a start, a fond smile tugging on his lips. Yoongi seemed to be so joyous about having bonded with him. Jimin couldn’t quite fathom why, he really wasn’t anything special. Yoongi could have done so much better than bonding with a homeless person with so many issues. But Yoongi apparently was thrilled about this bond and if Jimin was being honest, he himself couldn’t have wished for a better bond partner, either. Yoongi was the most calming and caring person he knew. If the bond made him happy, then Jimin should not question it. The alpha deserved to be happy, especially after what he went through with the assault and all the resulting stress with his mates.

His mates.

Jimin couldn’t help but scowl. What on earth was he supposed to do now? He had instinctually bonded with somebody who was already mated. How was that even supposed to work?

He sighed against Yoongi’s chest.

What a tricky situation they had gotten themselves into.

‘Hey’, Yoongi’s voice ripped him out of his thoughts. ‘What’s got you so worried, Jiminie?’

He shifted and lifted his head enough to gaze at Yoongi. ‘I’m not-‘

‘Ah’, Yoongi interrupted him, smirking. ‘Don’t even try to deny it. I can feel it, remember?’

Jimin groaned and flopped back down onto Yoongi’s chest, burying his head in his new favorite spot, the alpha’s neck. This would take some getting used to.

Yoongi chuckled, bringing up a hand to run it through Jimin’s hair.

‘Care to share?’

‘ ‘s nothing’, the younger muttered under his breath. He really didn’t want to kill Yoongi’s mood with his worries right now. Maybe it would help if he could just channel some positive emotions? But how was one supposed to do that? Perhaps he could focus on positive thoughts he mused, trying to conjure up something to lift his mood.

Yoongi scoffed good naturedly. ‘Whatever you’re trying to do, Jiminie, it’s not working. Now you’re both worried and stressed’, he paused, carefully feeling out their bond before adding, ‘and a tiny bit annoyed.’ 

So this really wasn’t working, Jimin thought begrudgingly. ‘Hyung’, he whined in frustration, burrowing deeper into the elder’s neck to hide his face. ‘How do you do this?’

‘I don’t. It’s the bond, Jiminie’, Yoongi replied, knowing very well that this wasn’t what the younger meant but unable to keep himself from teasing him. 

It was obvious that Jimin wasn’t sure how to deal with the situation and Yoongi couldn’t blame him one bit. The beta had been on his own for at least five years if one didn’t take into account his relationship with the kids and him being part of the riverside community. Soobin and Yeonjun had pointed out that Jimin had always kept everyone at an armlength until very recently. For someone who was so used to being alone and keeping to himself, suddenly being an open book to another person must be very overwhelming.

Heck, even Yoongi himself felt slightly overwhelmed, but in a very good way. Never in his life would he have imagined to bond with someone instinctually. He didn’t know much about this whole thing but he recalled from his school lessons that instinctual bonding was said to be the best method to find someone compatible. Wolf instincts were said to almost never be wrong.

Jimin stirred, lifting his head again and sending him a cute glare. 

‘That’s not what I meant, hyung’, he pointed out.

‘I know, I’m sorry, Jimin-ah. I was just teasing you.’ He moved to sit up, drawing another pout from Jimin at the loss of his rather comfortable position. Sitting with his back against the wall, he held out an arm to the younger. Jimin blinked at him before getting up as well and cuddling into his side, head on the elder’s shoulder. Once again, Yoongi drew him as close as possible.

He still couldn’t believe that he had actually bonded with Jimin. 

Not that it was a bad thing. On the contrary. 

Yoongi had become incredibly fond of the younger and that wasn’t just because he had been saved by him that awful night. Of course it played a factor, too. If Jimin hadn’t been so friendly and patient back then, Yoongi would probably never even have considered going back to find him. 

Still, that wasn’t the only reason.

Jimin was just – special. At least to him. He had never met someone who was as understanding as him. The younger radiated warmth and comfort and he was at times way too mature for his age. Yoongi figured that it probably had to do with his personal background. And yet, despite all the hardships that Jimin had been through, he still was the most welcoming, friendly, supportive, helpful and loving person Yoongi had ever met. 

That, and a brat. It showed most when he was around the kids, teasing them or, at times, teaming up with them to tease him. He couldn’t deny that he loved bickering with Jimin. The beta had a sense of humor that was close to his own. Joking around with him came naturally.

And then it was so easy to talk to Jimin. Yoongi had never found it this easy to open up to somebody. Jimin didn’t judge him. He didn’t tell him what he should or should not do. He didn’t expect things from him that he couldn’t deliver. The beta simply listened and encouraged, not demanding Yoongi to change or to move on. For reasons Yoongi still couldn’t quite grasp, Jimin somehow accepted him just the way he was.

No, Yoongi would never regret having bonded with Jimin. Beautiful, sweet, kind, funny and witty Jimin. Mine, his alpha supplied and Yoongi had to silently agree. Especially now that they had bonded. His Jimin. His safe place.

He turned his attention back to their bond, still marveling at the ability to feel the beta’s emotions even though it had been a few hours now. Jimin had no experience with bonds, he reminded himself. No wonder he seemed confused and worried. They probably should talk about this.

‘Just tell me what is worrying you, Jimin-ah. Is it the bond? You can ask me about it, you know? Having a true mate is new for me, too, but I do have experience with bonds in general. If there’s something that worries you, I’m sure we can figure it out together.’

Jimin drew back and stared at him. ‘What?’

‘It’s ok to ask, Jiminie. Whatever it is that bothers you, you can tell me. I won’t be offended, I promise’, Yoongi tried to reassure the younger.

Shaking his head, Jimin opened and closed his mouth several times, seemingly at a loss for words. He blinked at Yoongi and the confusion in their bond grew stronger. 

Yoongi gave him a slightly concerned look. ‘Relax, Jimin-ah’, he muttered, drawing the younger back into an embrace. Jimin slung his arms around the alpha’s neck and held him tightly. 

‘What did you just call me?’, Jimin whispered. 

It was Yoongi’s turn to blink. Trying to recall his words, he went over how he had tried to reassure the younger, telling him that he could talk to him, ask him about bonds, pointing out that he had experience with them, just not with- 

Oh.

Yoongi smiled, drawing Jimin even closer. Did the younger not know about this? 

‘My true mate?’, he asked gently.

Jimin shivered at the term and nodded against Yoongi’s shoulder. 

‘I don’t – understand’, he sighed and Yoongi felt slight trepidation make its way into their bond. 

‘Hey, hey, it’s just a term. There’s no need to be worried’, he soothed, moving one hand to rub circles on Jimin’s back. ‘I’ll explain, hm?’ The younger nodded again.

‘So, let’s start at the beginning. How much do you know about instinctual bonding, Jimin-ah?’

‘It’s rare’, Jimin murmured. ‘Used to be more common when the human side was less developed.’

Yoongi smiled at the simple, yet correct summary of a centuries old matter. He hummed.

‘That’s correct. Until about two centuries ago, our wolf side was the dominant one. The human side was there of course but our wolf instincts were a lot stronger and more pronounced. Once industrialization hit and people began to literally flock to the cities, we began to rely more and more on our human instincts though and the wolf traits slowly fell behind. Some of them disappeared, as you probably know, like heats and ruts. Which honestly, I can’t say I’m sad about. Must have been a hassle to deal with that.’

Jimin snorted at hearing that and Yoongi chuckled.

‘Other traits simply weakened. Back when our wolves were more dominant, instinctual bonding was very common. It was seen as the safest way to find a compatible partner. Wolf instinct is rarely ever wrong, right? Of course there were normal bonds formed via mating bites as well but an instinctual bond was seen as the strongest bond possible. Nowadays we call bonds formed like this instinctual bonds and instinctually bonded wolves bond partners. But back then they called wolves who bonded on instinct ‘true mates’ because there was little to no room for them to be incompatible. I always found that old term so much more fitting. Bond partners just sounds so dismissive considering the history behind all this, don’t you think?’

Jimin had stilled by the time he finished his explanation. The confusion had filtered out of their bond, slowly being replaced by a mix of disbelief and awe.

‘So we-‘, he swallowed, ‘we’re basically what they would have called ‘fated’ back then?’

Yoongi smiled at him. ‘Yeah’, he whispered. ‘That we are.’

They stared at each other fondly for a few seconds but then the trepidation returned and Jimin sighed.

‘But hyung’, he hesitated, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Worry swept into their bond again and Yoongi frowned.

‘Something’s been going on inside that pretty head of yours for a while now. Don’t you think it’s time you shared it with me? I can’t help you otherwise.’

‘Hyung, you think I’m pretty?’, the younger teased, grinning.

Yoongi scoffed. ‘Is that all you got out of my message?’ He laughed good naturedly. ‘For the  record, Jiminie. Yes. I think you are very pretty. Beautiful, actually.’

Apparently Jimin hadn’t expected that, seeing as he blushed and tried to hide his face in his hands. ‘Hyung’, he whined, ‘you can’t just say things like that!’

‘Why not?’, Yoongi wondered with a smirk. ‘I was only telling the truth, after all.’

Jimin blushed even more. ‘I- you- that’s not-’, he sputtered before taking a deep breath. ‘I think you’re really pretty, too, hyung.’

It was Yoongi’s turn to blush and sputter. Jimin grinned, watching the alpha try to regain his composure. It was so easy to be comfortable around Yoongi he thought, leaning sideways to rest his head back on the elder’s shoulder, not surprised when Yoongi pulled him close once again. Maybe it was the bond, he mused. They both seemed to crave being close to the other ever since the bond had formed.

‘Well’, the alpha finally managed to say, ‘now that we have established our mutual infatuation for each other’s looks, would you mind telling me what has been worrying you all morning, Jiminie?’

The younger sighed. They would have to talk about this eventually and maybe it was best to get it out of the way right now. It wasn’t fair to keep Yoongi in the dark when he could feel his worry so clearly, anyway.

‘It’s just that’, he began hesitatingly and Yoongi hugged him a little tighter. Reassuring calmness made its way into their bond, giving Jimin the courage to speak out loud what had been going through his mind.

‘Hyung, what about your mates?’

There.

He had said it. 

Jimin ducked his head, waiting for what would inevitably follow now. He couldn’t even blame Yoongi. Sure, the alpha had said he would never leave Jimin behind earlier. But that had been when both of them had still been swept away by their discovery and Jimin had been going through some kind of mental breakdown.

Now that things had calmed down a bit and Jimin could think about it more level-headed, it was quite obvious that things weren’t that simple. The elder had five gorgeous mates whom he obviously loved and cared for deeply. Even if they were going through a rough patch right now, Yoongi had a pack, a family, a relationship in which he belonged. It had never been Jimin’s intention to take him away from that. The bonding had been truly instinctual and out of his control. If Jimin had had a say in it, it wouldn’t have happened. Yoongi already had found his home and Jimin – Jimin had simply been too late.

Yoongi could feel Jimin’s uncertainty about the situation, resignation mixing with anxiety and a certain sadness as though the younger was expecting him to reject the bond. It made him frown. As if he would ever do that. Hadn’t he made that clear before? Sure, this was a tricky situation but there was no way Yoongi would ever give up on Jimin. 

He hugged the beta, letting reassurance and warmth flood their bond until Jimin noticed and looked up at him in surprise.

‘If you think I’m going to just let go of you, you’re very much in the wrong, Jimin-ah’, he said softly.

Jimin sighed. ‘But hyung-‘

‘It’s a tricky situation, I know. But we will figure it out together. Jiminie, I need you to know that I will never regret having bonded with you. You’re the kindest yet strongest person I have ever met and I am so grateful and proud to be bonded to you. I told you before, there is no way I’d ever leave you behind willingly. I really meant that.’

Jimin could do nothing but stare at Yoongi. There was no doubt the elder meant every word he had said, Jimin could feel it in their bond. The sincerity, the affection, the warmth. And Jimin – of course Jimin wanted this bond, too. Who was he trying to fool here? Despite his insecurities about this, despite his plan, despite everything, he couldn’t imagine rejecting Yoongi or being rejected by him. 

Still, the question remained. What about Yoongi’s mates? They couldn’t just ignore that issue. What if the elder’s mates were against this instinctual bond they had formed. What if they asked Yoongi to choose between them and him? Jimin didn’t know these people at all but judging from what he had heard and seen so far he really doubted that they would take to this situation lightly.

‘But hyung’, he tried again. ‘What does this mean for us? What are we?’

It was a good question, Yoongi had to admit that much. Their situation wasn’t easy. There were his mates to consider and, even more importantly, there were also Jimin’s feelings that needed to be taken into account. Not to mention the still unresolved current situation with his pack. It was probably best to take things slow and get to know each other better before making a decision.

‘We are what we want to be, Jiminie. Our bond can be whatever we are comfortable with. Whatever you want it to be. Anything. Being true mates does not necessarily mean having to actually become mates. Even back when our wolves were still in control that didn’t always happen. Some true mates chose to simply be close, like best friends or family, cherishing their bond like that.’

‘Anything we want it to be?’, Jimin repeated quietly. He pulled away and sat up straight, looking at Yoongi, taking in the fond look in the elder’s eyes. ‘Hyung, I don’t think it’s that easy. You are mated after all. I’m pretty sure some options are off the table.’

Yoongi raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Such as?’, he inquired.

‘You know’, Jimin huffed and Yoongi chuckled.

‘I know what you’re talking about’, he admitted. ‘but I’d like to hear it from you.’

Jimin muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like a little curse and Yoongi had to suppress a smile at how adorable the younger was.

‘Hyung’, Jimin pointed out. ‘It can’t be just anything. You’re mated, you have a pack. Mates. A family. I’m pretty sure being mates or a family are no options under these circumstances.’

‘Is that you saying you’d prefer either one of these options over being just friends, Jiminie?’, Yoongi couldn’t help but tease, elated that apparently Jimin was at least considering these options enough to bring them up.

‘I- That’s not- Why? I didn’t, I just-‘, Jimin broke off, confused.

Did he want that? He had just wanted to make sure he and Yoongi were on the same page here. With the elder being mated and in a pack wasn’t it obvious that their only option would be being close friends? Why did Yoongi have to tease him about something they couldn’t change? 

He heaved a frustrated sigh. ‘Hyung! Don’t twist my words, I’m just confused by what you said. It can’t be whatever. You’re mated!’ 

‘That I am’, Yoongi agreed, mood now somber after being hit by the younger’s frustration not only verbally but also via their bond. He had underestimated how much the issue seemed to bother the beta. Yoongi took a moment to look at Jimin who, at this point, seemed a little bit lost. Maybe he shouldn’t have teased, this was all new to him after all.

‘I’m sorry for not taking it seriously, Jiminie. I guess I’m still a bit too overjoyed from having bonded with you.’ He reached out a hand and rested it on the beta’s arm. ‘Would it help if I told you what I want this to be for us?’

Jimin nodded hesitantly, still not looking up. Yoongi could feel apprehension in their bond and he inwardly cursed himself for having teased the younger over something that apparently was very important to him.

He smiled. ‘I want for us to be whatever makes us happy, Jimin-ah. Both of us. Not just me. We talked about this before, remember? You deserve happiness so much. We haven’t known each other for long so maybe at this point neither of us can say for sure what form exactly our bond will take, what it will mean for us. But I am absolutely open for everything.’

‘But your mates-‘

‘My mates’, Yoongi interrupted in an unusually sharp tone, a bitter flash of pain stabbing at their bond for a few seconds, ‘will have to come to terms with the instinctual bond we formed. It’s not like we planned on it. In a way, they played their own part in this happening. I’m not going to give up on someone I want in my life just because of them. Maybe that does sound cruel but this bond is something so damn rare and precious, Jimin-ah. I’m not willing to give up on it, you’re too important to me for that. Besides’, he smiled, glad he had actually paid attention to this topic back in school, ‘there are studies on instinctual bonding in modern times that show that people who bonded with someone who was already mated are usually highly compatible with said partners or pack.’

Jimin looked up at that, an expression on his face that Yoongi couldn’t quite place.

‘I’m not going to lie and say everything will be easy. My mates and I are already going through a rough patch as you know. There will probably be discussions or arguments but we all will figure it out together. It may take a while but we do have time, Jiminie. Let’s not rule out any options right from the start. It’s only been a short time but I’m incredibly fond of you. If you are up for it, I’d like for us to take our time and see where this will lead, all options open.’ 

He smiled at Jimin’s surprised look. Yeah, Yoongi could definitely see himself falling for the beta.

‘Plus’, he decided to continue, ‘even if we act more human nowadays, our wolves are still a part of us and they are very pack oriented and long for harmony. If we really want this, I’m sure we can make it work. That’s why I don’t think it would be right to put a limit on this from the beginning. How about we get to know each other better first, strengthen our bond and see where that will take us?’

Get to know each other better.

Strengthen their bond.

He liked that, Jimin thought to himself. He liked it a lot. He also liked Yoongi a lot. At this point, it wasn’t easy to say what he wanted but he couldn’t deny that he felt drawn to the elder. He radiated comfort and safety in an even stronger way than his hyungs had. If Jimin interpreted the alpha’s words correctly, he, too, wasn’t set against being more than friends. 

It was too early of course to talk about that. Even with their instinctual bond they still barely knew one another. But it seemed like neither of them could deny the pull they felt towards each other. And Jimin felt bad about that. No matter how badly things were between Yoongi and his mates, the fact remained that the elder was mated and that he loved his mates. The last thing Jimin wanted to be was a homewrecker.

But Yoongi just pointed out that there were studies. Not that Jimin could see himself being compatible with people who were so obviously awful. Still, he would have to look that up, he thought, making a mental note to check at the library during his next visit. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe the elder, he did. He just wanted to know more about this whole topic. 

A pack was another thing that had never been in his plans. Especially not Yoongi’s pack. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be a part of it. Not after he saw how they had treated their mate. But Yoongi loved them. Jimin knew that much for sure. And if Yoongi had fallen in love with them there had to be something good about them, too. Or so he hoped. So maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that his mates weren’t as horrible people as Jimin’s mind made them out to be.

A small smile formed on his lips. Yoongi was really giving them all options, despite the unfortunate circumstances they found themselves in. He truly was the perfect person to have bonded with.

‘I think I’d really like to get to know you better. I do want this bond. It’s just- no offense, hyung, but I’m not particularly thrilled with your mates at this point. They’ve been acting pretty shitty towards you and I’m not very happy about that. I’m honestly not sure if I would be compatible with them if it came to that.’

Yoongi sighed. ‘They aren’t bad people, Jimin-ah. They are just – I don’t know, maybe too sheltered. None of them have ever had to deal with hardships.’ Seeing Jimin frown at his words, he held up his hands. ‘I’m not defending them. After what happened last night I’m quite upset myself. All I’m saying is that at the core they are good people. If it comes down to it and you decide to give them a chance you might actually be surprised. I’m pretty sure they would like you a lot.’

Jimin nodded hesitatingly. Somehow, he really doubted that. Then again it was Yoongi who said it so there might be something to it. Only time would tell, he thought. 

Something the elder just said had stuck with him though. With a start he realized that he still didn’t know just what exactly went down at that apartment the night before. He resisted the urge to smack himself for this oversight. Yoongi had been so desperate and sad last night, losing himself in that horrible panic attack and yet this morning after finding out about the bond Jimin had managed to make it all about himself. As if Yoongi didn’t have enough to deal with already, he inwardly scolded himself. He better make up for this somehow right now.

‘Hyung’, he said, not sure if it was ok to bring the topic up at this point but also not willing to wait much longer. ‘I don’t want to overstep, but just what the heck happened last night? That was one massive panic attack you had down there by the river. It had us really worried.’

‘You’re not overstepping’, Yoongi said, frowning at the memory of the night before. Just thinking about it still upset him and he could see on Jimin’s face that his anger, hurt and frustration about the situation had leaked into their bond now that he allowed himself to think about what happened. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, wondering where to begin and felt Jimin shift beside him, leaning into him. ‘You don’t have to tell me’, he whispered.

‘But I want to’, Yoongi replied, melting into Jimin’s side before proceeding to tell him about the confrontation with his mates at their apartment. He could feel Jimin’s irritation rise the further he got into his recount. By the time he was finished, burning anger had taken over their bond and he shot the younger a surprised look. Outwardly, Jimin seemed so calm. If it wasn’t for the bond, he’d never have known how upset the beta was.

‘You’re mad’, he said in surprise and Jimin gave him a startled look. ‘The bond’, he pointed out with a suppressed smile. It was obvious that the younger was still getting used to the whole bond situation. 

Yoongi made a mental note to talk to him about how to shield emotions and how to tune out the bond to some extent. It wasn’t possible to do either completely, but with some practice the bond could be tuned down in everyday situations, letting only very strong or instinctual emotions filter through. It was a pretty common thing to do nowadays. Yoongi just wasn’t sure if Jimin knew about that. He’d have to bring it up at some point.

Not that he didn’t want to feel the younger’s emotions, he really did. But he had a feeling that Jimin would appreciate being able to shield himself somewhat.

‘Of course I’m mad’, Jimin snapped, unable to hold back his anger now that Yoongi knew anyway. ‘They fucking turned on you when you needed them the most, broke the promise they gave you, ignored you and left you worrying while they had a pack day without you and then they have the audacity to blame it all on you? What the actual freaking hell, hyung?!?’

Yoongi stayed silent. He already knew how bad it was. It fucking hurt and right now he wasn’t sure of his place in their pack anymore. Still - they were his mates and despite everything that was currently happening between them he loved them. He knew they were good people. Whatever was going on right now just wasn’t them. Maybe the situation had gotten to them just as much as it got to him. Then again, they seemed so close to each other that Yoongi felt like he was just standing on the outside looking in at this point. Trying to find his place without knowing if he ever had one. 

Which was ridiculous. He knew he had a place before. It had been obvious. But apparently it had been a place for a weak and complacent Yoongi, one who they could reassure and cuddle. Not one who had an opinion and talked back. 

Come to think of it, he had never spoken back to them before; had never once raised his voice against any of them. Always too afraid to lose them; too scared to be cast aside. Not that there had been any serious instances where he would have had to speak up. It had been mostly minor arguments where he decided to just step back. Things really had been just fine until that damn night. 

Everything changed after that.

He had changed, undoubtedly.

But had they changed, too? Or had they always been like this? Had they always seen him as someone weak? As someone easily controlled, simply because he was afraid to lose them? He really didn’t know. All he knew was that he still loved them and that their actions hurt so damn much. He could feel their emotions nudging him through their shared bond even now but he really didn’t feel ready to deal with them. Not yet. He needed time to recover from the last encounter, to figure out how to approach the situation and how to bring up the instinctual bond he and Jimin had formed.

And right now, Jimin needed him, too. The younger was inexperienced with bonds and newly formed bonds were a fickle thing. Yoongi knew that much from his mating bonds. Fresh bonds were still fragile and made the bond partners crave closeness. Which was probably why they found it so hard to part from each other physically at this point, he thought slightly amused as Jimin pulled him closer and held him tight. They had unconsciously been seeking each other’s closeness all morning and Yoongi enjoyed every second of it.

Yoongi frowned as he concentrated back on their bond. Jimin's anger still trummed through it although he was beginning to calm down now. Had the beta always been this upset with his mates’ behavior towards him? He had seemed so collected all the time. Jimin really had that poker face thing mastered apparently. 

‘You know, hyung’, Jimin finally spoke up again, a frown on his face. ‘You almost had me convinced earlier that there must be some good in your mates. I mean, I trust your judgement and all. I shall give them the benefit of the doubt until I get to know them myself but no offense, hyung – they sound like an absolute idiot pack to me.’

Yoongi couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. Somehow it never failed to amuse him when Jimin cursed about his mates’ actions. He had a sneaking suspicion that the beta had already caught on to that, judging by the way he chuckled along with him.

‘They’re not all bad’, he said, somehow feeling lighter already. Jimin really had a way of cheering him up. Somehow he always found the right thing to say.

The beta hummed. ‘I reserve my verdict until after I met them.’ He pulled back from their hug to look at Yoongi. ‘We’ll figure this out, right, hyung?’ 

Yoongi nodded, a smile playing on his lips. ‘We will, Jiminie. And I think I know how we can go about this but first we need to let our bond settle.’

He smiled at Jimin’s surprised look. The beta really was quite clueless about all this and Yoongi couldn’t help but be adored by it. ‘I’ll explain over breakfast. Or rather lunch’, he corrected himself after a quick glance at his watch. ‘We need to eat something, Jiminie. It’s been hours. Let me treat you and I’ll explain what I mean and what I have in mind. We can take it from there then, hm?’

For once Jimin couldn’t find it in himself to protest the offer.

Chapter Text

Jimin bit his lip hard and stared at the piece of paper in his hand. Was this the right thing to do? He surveyed the lot who were currently helping Haneul taking stock of the community supplies. In all the years he has known them, he has never once approached them like this. Sure, there had been the incident under the bridge when he had been running from those Vipers with Yoongi in tow. But that had been impulsive and his only chance to get Yoongi to safety.

This though – this was different.

There was no need to involve them in his business. They were just kids after all. And while Jimin knew the task was safe and wouldn’t cause them any harm he still couldn’t help but wonder if he was making the right decision with this.

Still, Jimin was way behind on his plan. He had been thrown back a lot ever since Yoongi had come back to find him and he desperately needed to get back on track. Which he may have been able to under different circumstances. But now he had bonded with Yoongi and according to Yoongi, the bond was bound to be fickley for the first few days. Especially if they were to be apart for a longer time. Which would make going about his business even harder for a while.

Jimin sighed. It had only been half an hour since he had parted ways with Yoongi, the alpha meeting up with one of his managers, and he could already feel a slight strain on their bond. Yoongi had warned him that this might happen. It wasn’t unbearable but he definitely felt like something was amiss, his wolf and Jimin himself being unnaturally restless and agitated. Briefly he wondered if Yoongi was experiencing this separation the same way or if it was different for everyone. He could just hope that the elder was right and it would stop once their bond had finally settled.

He chuckled drily. Who would have thought saving a stranger in a back alley would turn his life upside down like this and leave him bonded? As much as that hadn’t been in his plans, he also didn’t regret it. Yoongi made that impossible. Never in his life would he have thought to ever have a bond with anyone, let alone someone who understood him so well. A warm feeling came over him as he thought of his bond partner and apparently Yoongi felt it because almost immediately affection thrummed through their bond. Closing his eyes, Jimin let out a soft sigh, allowing himself to enjoy the moment. He definitely could get used to this feeling of not being alone anymore.

Over their admittedly very late lunch, Yoongi had explained the basics of how bonds worked to him, encouraging Jimin to just try and take control. ‘It will come to you quite naturally’, he had said with a smile. ‘Just try and play around with it for a while. I really don’t mind, Jimin-ah. You’re still new to this, it’s normal to not have full control right away. The more you get used to it, the better control you will get over it.’

Jimin wasn’t sure he wanted to try and play around with it just yet. For now, he was trying his best to get used to the underlying stream of Yoongi’s emotions that now constantly flowed through him. Although he guessed he was lucky that the other had so much control over himself. The bond was really calm now, a gentle stream of barely noticeable emotions flowing through him, interrupted only by the occasional sparks of joy when Yoongi couldn’t contain his excitement over the developments of this morning. It’s not like it bothered Jimin but it was  a very different feeling from what he was used to and the thought that the alpha could now make out what exactly he was feeling at all times was still making him feel a bit exposed.

But Yoongi had promised not to invade, he remembered. 

‘Jiminie’, he had said, looking at him with so much understanding, ‘I know you’re used to being by yourself. This must be hard for you to adjust to. I promise, I won’t pry into your feelings. I can’t promise you to ignore stronger, impulsive emotions as they come unfiltered, but I won’t tap into the bond just to feel you out -  unless you tell me that you are ok with it.’

And Jimin would lie if he said he hadn’t been relieved at that. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to share this bond with Yoongi – he just had so much baggage, so many things the other still didn’t know about him, so much he wasn’t sure he would ever be willing to talk about. And even if he wanted to – he wouldn’t even know how or where to start.

Telling the elder about his hyungs had already been a strain and that really had only been the tip of the iceberg. Jimin wasn’t sure if he could go through telling more of his story; didn’t know if he would ever find the courage to do so. It was a relief to know that Yoongi wouldn’t pry into his emotions. How would Jimin even explain the hollowness and loneliness that had become his unwavering companions? What words could he use to give reason to his wariness and reluctance of getting close to anyone, of letting people into his life? How should he react when asked about the fear and grief that had taken such deep roots in his heart that he was sure he could never be free of them again? And what on earth would justify the intense rage and determination that ran through him like a blazing fire at times? 

Jimin was a mess, he knew that very well. Having someone being able to read him like an open book was more than scary, it was terrifying. But Jimin trusted Yoongi, maybe more than he had ever trusted anyone after losing his family. Even though they hadn’t known each other for long; even though they didn’t actually know each other well at all yet. Yoongi had been nothing but kind to him and the lot. And he was his bond mate. Jimin just felt that Yoongi meant every word he had said. If he said he wouldn’t pry, Jimin trusted with all his heart that he would keep his word. 

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he turned his attention back to his current dilemma. Yoongi had gone to settle some things with his company but they would meet up again afterwards, something Jimin was thankful for now that he was beginning to feel the strain on their bond growing stronger with each passing minute of them being apart. It was just like Yoongi had explained. And it left Jimin with little to no time to take care of his plan yet again. If he wanted to go through with it – and there wasn’t even the slightest doubt in his mind that he wanted exactly that – he needed some extra help.

Jimin had been determined to do this on his own. It had nothing at all to do with the lot, it wasn’t without risk and it wasn’t anyone’s business but his. If he hadn’t saved Yoongi that night, he’d probably be close to wrapping things up at this point. As it was, he was running out of time. No matter how much he wanted to do this alone, he couldn’t anymore. Not now that he also had his bond to consider.

With a sigh he pocketed the piece of paper and made his way over to where Haneul and the lot were working. If they had noticed him before, standing a bit away and watching them work, they didn’t let on to that. Maybe they really hadn’t, considering how engrossed in counting and repacking they were. It was Haneul who acknowledged his presence first, looking up from the inventory list he was currently checking.

‘Ji’, he greeted with a smile and the lots’ heads swiveled around to look in his direction. ‘I haven’t seen you around much lately. Is everything ok?’

Leave it to Haneul to check up on him like that, Jimin thought, slightly touched that the elder was still looking out for him. Just like he had done ever since he first met Jimin. Even though they had never been as close as Jimin had become with Junseo-hyung and Hajun-hyung, Haneul had always been there for him with valuable advice and funny remarks to lighten the mood. Jimin admired how the elder managed the little community and kept it safe and Haneul valued Jimin’s helpfulness and his calm and friendly nature a lot. As Jimin grew older, their mutual respect for each other had formed a quite unique friendship between them.

‘I’m fine, just had a lot going on’, Jimin reassured, returning the smile. The lot exchanged a knowing look that Jimin decided not to dwell on. He nodded in their direction. ‘Can I borrow them for a moment? It won’t take very long.’

They glanced at him curiously. Even Haneul seemed surprised. Jimin couldn’t really blame them. As far as he could remember, he had never taken the lot away from a community task before. 

Haneul nodded his agreement. If Ji asked to take the kids away from a task he most likely had a good reason for that. Not to mention that in more ways than one, he was the one responsible for them. Those kids had definitely chosen Ji. Haneul and the community just helped out when and where they could. He smiled. ‘Just make sure to come back, we still have two lists to finish.’

They followed him down to the river, away from the community and out of earshot of anyone else.

‘What’s this all about, Ji?’, Soobin wanted to know, unsure what to make of this situation. It wasn’t like Ji at all to interrupt their tasks. He had always been adamant about all of them taking their tasks in the community serious and fulfilling them with diligence and precision. Especially in a community like theirs everyone had to be able to rely on the others to keep up with their work and tasks. If they didn’t, it would fall back on everyone. It was one of the first things Ji had taught them after they had come to the river. Ji taking them away from a task had never happened before. And it definitely left all of them curious as to the reason why.

Jimin contemplated what to say, not sure how he should start. Or if he should even do this at all.

They waited, exchanging apprehensive glances. Even the younger ones decided to stay silent, a pretty rare occasion, and resorted to mustering him sharply.

When the silence stretched on for too long, Yeonjun gave him a worried look. ‘Are you really ok? Is Yoongi-hyung ok?’

That shook Jimin out of his musings. ‘I’m fine. Yoongi-hyung is fine. Don’t worry, we’re alright.’

‘What is it then?’, Soobin inquired. ‘Is it about last night? What happened at the apartment with hyung’s pack?’

‘It has nothing to do with that. I’ll tell you all about it later. Or maybe Yoongi-hyung will. I’m sorry, we should have contacted you and told you that he is ok. It kind of went over my head, we had a lot going on this morning.’ Jimin sounded apologetic. He really had forgotten to inform them about Yoongi-hyung this morning. It would have been so easy now that they had the phones but it had completely slipped his mind. The bond had really distracted him.

Yeonjun gave him a reassuring smile. ‘It’s fine, Ji. We kinda figured you or at least Yoongi-hyung were probably sleeping in and then going to talk about what happened first. If we hadn’t heard from you at all today we’d have called or so to check up on you.’

Jimin shook his head. ‘It still wasn’t ok, you were really worried, too. Maybe we can all meet up for dinner tonight and we will fill you in on what happened?’

As expected, the mention of food lifted the mood immediately. They grinned with sparkling eyes as they eagerly nodded their agreement. Seeing their enthusiasm at the prospect of dinner, Jimin couldn’t help but grin right back. ‘I’ll talk to Yoongi-hyung later and we’ll text you when and where to meet.’ The phones really were useful, he couldn’t deny that, he thought amused. He’d never have thought he’d be glad to have a device like that but it did actually make a lot of things easier.

‘Ji?’, Beomgyu’s voice called him back to reality and he turned his head to give him a questioning look. Beomgyu sighed. ‘That wasn’t the reason you wanted to talk to us, right? You could have just called or texted in that case.’

Oh. Right. Jimin sighed. ‘You’re right I-‘, he hesitated. 

Taehyun rolled his eyes. ‘Ji, just say it already. It can’t be that bad now, right?’

Jimin wasn’t so sure of that. Sure, what he wanted to say wasn’t bad but the consequences it could have – it was best not to think about that any longer. He needed their help if he wanted to get things done, so there was no use putting this off any further.

‘I need a favor’, he finally settled on saying.

Soobin’s eyebrows rose as he exchanged a puzzled look with Yeonjun. Ji never really asked them for anything. The only favor he ever had asked of them was the night he had rushed under their bridge with Yoongi in tow, asking them to run a distraction. And they were convinced that that had been his last resort because Yoongi had been so close to collapsing.

Jimin took out the piece of paper and held it out to them. For a second, they all stared at it in confusion, then Yeonjun reached for it and unfolded it. He took a moment to read, Soobin getting closer to get a look as well.

They frowned.

‘What’s this, Ji?’, Soobin asked confused.

‘I need you to go to these places and look for the people listed. Ask around for them, they are all pretty well-known in their areas and someone should be able to point you in their direction. Tell them Ji is planning a fishing trip and ask for some recommendations.’

They stared at him. Whatever reason they had expected for Ji to have taken them away from a task, it sure as heck wasn’t this.

‘A f-fishing trip?’, Kai sputtered bewildered.

Jimin sighed and shrugged his shoulders. ‘It is what it is.’

'Let me get this straight', Soobin said with knitted brows, 'You want us to find these people and listen to what they have to tell us?' He shot Jimin an incredulous look. 

Jimin nodded. 'I’m overdue anyway but I can't go see them myself right now. Yoongi-hyung and I have b-' he stopped himself just in time. They had talked about it briefly and decided not to tell the kids about their bond just yet. They needed a little time for themselves first. 'We have a situation of sorts at the moment and I need to focus on that.'

'You are alright, right?', Yeonjun inquired with narrowed eyes.

'I am, I promise. We are. I just can't go and I'm already a few days behind because I was so busy with hyung's situation. I really can’t take care of this right now but it has to be done as soon as possible.’

‘So we just go there and what? Talk to them?’, Beomgyu wasn’t so sure he got the concept of what Ji wanted from them. 

Once again, Jimin nodded. ‘Exactly. I just need to know what they have to say.’ He frowned, thinking of something else. ‘Don’t write anything down. Maybe you can take notes on the phone or so if there’s a lot. But only if it's really necessary. But don’t leave paper traces. And also if you take phone notes, don’t send them to me. Oh, and under no circumstances speak about what you learned where anyone could overhear you.’ 

He watched Yeonjun and Soobin exchange a long look, silent communication passing between them and suddenly realized just how careless he was being. They were right to be reluctant, he thought. This really was a stupid idea. What on earth was he thinking, involving them like this? He’d been doing things on his own so if anything went wrong nothing would fall back on the community and that included the lot. Especially them. Bonding with Yoongi must have messed up his brain enough to throw all caution in the wind apparently. 

With an angry shake of his head at himself for being so irresponsible, he moved to grab the paper from Yeonjun’s hand only to end up with nothing when the other quickly drew his hand back. Jimin’s head snapped up to stare at Yeonjun, who smirked at him.

‘Nuh-uh, Ji. Not gonna happen. This stays with us.’ Soobin was grinning, too.

‘Just give it back’, Jimin said. ‘I don’t know what came over me but this was a stupid idea.’

Beomgyu gave him an inquiring look. ‘And if they give it back, what’ll you do? Go visit these people yourself? I thought you and Yoongi-hyung were busy?’

He sighed. ‘I’ll find a way. Maybe you can keep Yoongi-hyung company while I go. If not, it can wait.’ It really couldn’t but they didn’t need to know that. He needed this done sooner rather than later, still that didn’t justify involving the lot. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that of you.’

Soobin snorted. ‘You’re not serious, are you?’ 

‘Yeah,’ Kai grinned at him, ‘do you really think we’ll give that back to you now?’

Taehyun moved to lightly slap away his hand which was still held out for the paper. ‘Forget it, Ji. There’s no way we’re returning it to you. Not when you finally give us the chance to do something for you after all you’ve done for us.’

Jimin sighed. This wasn’t what he had in mind at all when he asked. ‘That’s not-‘

‘We know it isn’t what you had in mind’, Yeonjun interrupted. ‘But it’s how we think about it.’

‘Yeonjun, you don’t have to-‘

‘Ji’, Soobin interrupted determinedly. ‘This is for whatever plan or mission you have been working on all this time, isn’t it?’

He blinked at them. They were way too perceptive for his liking, he mused as he nodded reluctantly.

‘Is what you are asking us to do illegal, Ji? Will whatever information we will gather for you be used for something illegal?’

‘Of course not!’, Jimin exclaimed, stunned that they would even ask such a question. 

Soobin grinned. ‘See. We figured that much. In that case, you won’t get the paper back.’

‘Soobin-‘

The younger shook his head. ‘Nope, Ji. You asked us to go and we will go.’

‘You don’t get it. It was stupid of me to ask you. You shouldn’t get involved. Just because it isn’t illegal doesn’t mean it's harmless.’

Yeonjun sighed. ‘Ji. We’re going. You’ve been working on whatever this is for as long as we’ve known you. We know how important it is to you. You’ve done so much for us, let us help you with this one.’

Shaking his head, Jimin gave them an exasperated look. ‘We talked about that, didn’t we? You aren’t obligated to do anything for me. I received the same help myself years ago and I just offered it to you. Maybe one day, you’ll do the same for someone else, too. That’s the way our community works. You don’t owe me anything.’

‘This isn’t about owing something to somebody, Ji’, Beomgyu pointed out.

‘Then there’s no reason for you to do it. Hand me back the paper.‘

‘For crying out loud, Ji’, Kai exploded, ‘why do you have to be so stubborn?! You approached us with this so you need help getting it done, right? Then why can’t you get it into your head that we want to help you? Not because we think we owe you or to pay you back but because it’s you, Ji. Because this is important to you. We don’t know what your plan is but we know just how good a person you are. There’s no way you’d do anything bad, so whatever it is you need help with, we’ll gladly do it. And we can be cautious, Ji. There’s no need to worry about that. Didn’t we prove that when we distracted those Vipers? If there’s need to be careful, we’ll be extra careful. We learned from you, after all. I doubt there’s a better teacher in this community even though old man Haneul is great, too. So stop being so goddamn stubborn about this and let us help you. Or don’t you trust us?’

Stunned silence followed Kai’s outburst. The youngest rarely ever lost his temper like that with any of them, let alone Ji. Come to think of it, none of them had ever come this close to ranting at him, Jimin thought, still surprised. He took in their faces, all of them staring at him with challenging expressions. 

Kai had a point, he thought. They did know how to keep a secret, he knew that much for a fact. This wasn’t so much different from keeping a secret now, was it? He sighed. It had been a straightforward mission until recently. Just when had things become this complicated?

‘I do trust you’, he finally decided to say. ‘And I know you can take care of yourselves and keep a secret. You’ve already proven that before.’ He sighed. ‘But even though this task isn’t dangerous I can’t guarantee it won’t draw attention to you if for any reason what I am working on fails. And I just don’t want anything to happen to you’, he added more softly than intended. 

Their expressions had relaxed while he spoke, small smiles forming on their faces.

‘If you really don’t want us to go, we won’t’, Soobin relented. ‘But we want you to know that whatever it is you plan on doing, we support it one hundred percent. And we want to see you succeed. It’s important to you, so it’s important to us, too.’

‘You’re our family, Ji’, Taehyun said quietly. ‘And family is there for each other, right? If something goes wrong along the way, we’ll figure it out together, like we always do. Let us help you with this.’

Family.

Jimin had suspected that’s what they considered him to be but none of them had ever said it out loud before. At least not to him. Probably because they had always respected the boundaries he had laid out for them. Things really had changed within the past few weeks. By letting his guard down around them more and more he apparently had also encouraged them to be more open with him. All this time he had kept them at arm’s length, trying to protect both them and himself from getting hurt. Maybe he had been wrong about that. Somehow this felt right. 

Family. 

For the longest time he thought he was meant to be all alone but they had been right there, always patient with his closed off personality. Giving him all the space he needed, accepting his boundaries without question. He had by no means been easy, brushing them off time and time again when things got too personal. Yet they had never left, simply sticking around and adjusting to whatever lines he drew between himself and them. And despite his best efforts not to, he had grown fond of them – even before he began letting them in more. As much as they annoyed the heck out of him, he couldn’t deny that he liked having them around. A lot.

Family.

Yeah, he thought. He could definitely see that.

A little jolt of concern ran through him and he realized that he might inadvertently have sent some confusing emotions over their bond. Jimin concentrated for a moment, trying to give Yoongi the right signals. He was alright, even though his happiness and fondness mixed with nostalgia and pain from the past right now. This was something he had gotten used to over the years. The pain never did go away completely. He had learned to live with it. Affection thrummed through their bond once again and Jimin relaxed. It seemed he was getting the hang of this quicker than expected. 

‘Ji?’, Taehyun touched his arm tentatively. Jimin blinked, trying to regain his focus. Had he gotten lost in his head again? Taehyun gave him an apologetic smile. ‘I’m really sorry, Ji. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable by saying that. Don’t pay attention to my ramblings, we can just forget about that, ok?’

He looked around at them, taking in the warm smiles on all of their faces. When he met Yeonjun’s eyes, the alpha held out the piece of paper to him.

‘We didn’t mean to pressure you, Ji. Take it. I think we got a little carried away here, I’m sorry, too.’

Jimin shook his head.

‘Do it. I trust you’, he said, thinking back to what Kai had said. ‘And I know that you can look after yourselves. You didn’t lead on Vipers for nothing that night after all’, he winked at them, taking in their surprised expressions. ‘I’m sorry for making such a big deal of it, I got second thoughts. I just really don’t want anything to happen to you.’ He paused and smiled. ‘You’re my family, too, after all.’

He could tell they hadn’t expected that at all. For once they were silent, staring at him with wide eyes. For a few seconds none of them said a word, then Kai flung himself at Jimin.

‘Jiiii’, he whined, clinging to him. ‘You can’t just say things like that out of nowhere! How are we supposed to deal with that?!?’

‘He has a point, Ji’, Soobin grinned. ‘We’re not used to that from you, you gotta go easy on us.’

‘Not that we don’t want to hear stuff like that’, Beomgyu quickly pointed out. ‘You can definitely make a habit out of it.’

‘Just give us some time to adjust and react properly until we get used to it’, Yeonjun winked at him. 

Jimin smirked, hugging Kai back. ‘Or maybe this was a one-time thing and we can just forget about it and go back to the way things were before.’

Several shouts of ‘No’ erupted around him and he couldn't help but laugh. One by one, they joined in.

From a distance, Haneul watched with a fond smile on his face. He had never seen Ji so relaxed and carefree before.

-----

‘So you’re asking for a week?’, Sejin asked with furrowed brows. 

Yoongi had called their most trusted manager earlier, asking to meet him for a private talk, preferably outside the company. That’s why they were now sitting in an enclosed area of a fancy café. He had told Sejin what had happened a few weeks back although not going into detail about the attack. He had talked about the resulting pack issues, about Jimin and finally about the fallout last night and the instinctual bond he had formed following that.

He nodded. ‘I need some time to figure things out.’

Seeing the look on his manager’s face, he quickly tried to ease the other’s worries. ‘I love them, Sejin. With all my heart. But right now, I’m hurting. I know that part of what happened is my fault. I pushed them away and left them stranded. Things took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. I doubt any of us meant for this to happen but it’s not a situation that can be solved within a few hours. Maybe they would say that they are ready to talk things out and put this behind them, but I don’t think I could face them yet. Not after last night’ He fumbled with his coffee spoon. ‘I don’t want a repeat of what happened yesterday evening, Sejin. When I meet them again, I want to be sure about what I have to say and most importantly, I want to be in full control of myself.’

The manager sighed. ‘I understand what you are trying to say, Yoongi. I really do. But what about the others? Namjoon called me on Friday morning and asked for the rest of the week off because of an urgent pack issue. I suppose that he was talking about the same thing you just told me about. I haven’t heard from them again today, though. What if they are home, waiting for you to talk to them? What if they come in for work tomorrow, hoping to see you?’

‘I’m not ready to contact them about this, Sejin. Not because I want to be mean but because I can’t. Just thinking about yesterday unsettles me already. Can you imagine what would happen if I were to talk to them in this state? I need a few days to come to terms with this before I can face them.’

He paused, thinking about what his manager had pointed out. ‘You can tell them I took the week off, though. Tell them I need some time to think things over and that we will talk after that. Heck, you can even tell them that I still love them and want for things to work out between us for all that I care. It's the truth after all. Just please don’t tell them about Jimin yet. We’re still trying to figure things out, too. That’s the second reason why I need a few days off. The bond is still settling and being apart for a longer time is hard right now.’

‘I can’t believe you got yourself into such a tricky situation, Min Yoongi’, Sejin declared with a sigh but he understood. Newly formed bonds were fickly that way, making the bond partners want to be close to each other until the bond had settled. Not to mention the adjustment time that was needed to simply get used to feeling another person’s emotions.

‘It’s not like I planned on forming an instinctual bond right when I had a falling out with my pack’, Yoongi huffed, slightly annoyed with his manager’s reaction. 

‘But you also don’t regret it’, his manager, ever so insightful, pointed out.

Yoongi went silent. Sejin was right. He didn’t regret it and he had no intention of letting go of this bond. Ever. He loved his mates with all his heart and he missed them dearly. If he could, he would rush over to their apartment right away to fix things with them. But that wasn’t possible. Last night had left him stranded. He knew that his mates loved him but he had serious doubts as to what his position in their pack was now. After his outburst last night it had looked like there was no room for him at all. It was stupid to think that, he was well aware of it. But thinking back now to the times before the fallout, he had to acknowledge that the five of them had always seemed just that tiny little bit closer to each other than they were to him. Which made sense, they had been courting for quite a while already before beginning to court him, too. Their bond might be just a tiny bit stronger because of the connection they had formed early on.

Yoongi was ok with that, he really was. Maybe deep down he had always longed to have a connection as strong as theirs, too, but he also knew that things like that couldn’t be forced. And until now it hadn’t really mattered because they had always made sure to make him feel just as included, valued and welcome in their relationship and their pack. But this time had been different. They had broken their promise to him, a promise that he had always held in highest regards. And on top of that they hadn’t even noticed that their petty reaction to his pushing them away had meant doing exactly that. It hurt to see that apparently the promise meant way less to them than to him. 

And then there was the beach trip. There was no sugar coating it, it had been a pack day. A pack day without him. And while Yoongi thought he could guess why they did it, he couldn’t help but feel left out and hurt. Maybe it would have been ok if they had come home that evening to talk to him. They had known he would be there. But the fact that they had even ignored his messages when he had been so worried about them had been the last straw. Yoongi loved his mates and he didn’t doubt that they loved him, too. Still, it gave them no right to treat him like this, to make him feel unwelcome in the pack. They had acted and looked so in tune with each other last night and his heart had broken at the realization that he would never be that deeply connected to them, no matter how much he wanted it.

And then he had woken up this morning feeling Jimin’s emotions run rampant through their newly formed bond. At first he had been unable to pinpoint what exactly was going on but then he had watched Jimin looking more and more confused and things had clicked into place. Yoongi had never thought he would ever form an instinctual bond with someone. It was such a rare thing to happen in the first place. But it had happened, and with Jimin of all people – it had filled him with so much happiness he still wasn’t sure how his heart hadn’t burst yet.

Jimin was the kindest, sweetest person he had ever met. He had felt safe with him from the very beginning – or at least after his initial panic the night of the attack had settled. This was Yoongi’s chance to have that deep connection to someone else that he had always dreamed about and that he just couldn’t form with his pack. And maybe it was selfish but he didn’t want to give up on it. Not for his own sake – and even more importantly, not for Jimin’s sake. If anyone deserved to have a true mate, it was him. Even though Yoongi still didn’t know much about what the younger had gone through he had caught glimpses of the pain he carried and he was determined to help him heal. 

No, Sejin was right. Yoongi didn’t regret bonding with Jimin for one second. No matter what they turned out to be to each other in the end. It was still early on and they needed time to get to know each other. Not to mention the situation with his mates, which also still needed solving. Sejin had a point, it was a tricky situation. But Yoongi was sure things would work out eventually.

‘You’re right’, he admitted to Sejin, who had been waiting patiently for him to answer. ‘I don’t regret it. On the contrary. I have always longed to have a connection as deep and strong as theirs but it just wasn’t possible. The way our pack came to be prohibited that. They simply know each other way better, they were courting even before we debuted and connected on a way deeper level. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hold that against them. Not at all. I have always been aware of that and they have done everything they could to make me feel just as included.’

He paused, frowning. ‘In fact, I might have been a part of the problem myself. I have always been so scared to lose them, I might not always have told them when something bothered me.’ Yoongi let out a regretful sigh. There was so much to unpack there, he really needed time to think about all of this. Another reason to get this week off.

Focusing back on the topic at hand, he gave his manager a determined look. ‘I love them, no matter how tough things might be right now. Nothing will ever change that. But this bond – Sejin, whatever Jimin and I decide to be in the end – it’s my chance to have that connection I have longed for so long. It doesn’t mean that I love my mates any less. Heck, it doesn’t even mean that I will love Jimin romantically. We are still figuring out what we want to be, we barely know each other at this point. But I won’t just give up on this. Maybe it’s selfish but it is what it is. And Jimin – he deserves to have someone in his life, Sejin. You have no idea how much. I would never just leave him behind, he’s already hurting enough.’

Sejin smiled. ‘I’m not judging you, Yoongi. Instinctual bonds are rare and should be cherished. And I wish with all my heart for all seven of you to work things out – no matter what form your bond with Jimin will take on. But I’m also a businessman, as you know. And with your comeback being only about two months away, your group schedule will get busy again very soon. As much as I would love to give you unlimited time to figure this out, I can’t.’

‘That’s why I’m asking for a week’, Yoongi pointed out. ‘The studio work for the album is done already. The photo and video shoots start in about two weeks, the promotions a week after. I don’t have much scheduled next week. Some dance training and a few meetings that can take place without me. Give me one week to calm down, to figure out how to approach this with my mates, to get to know Jimin better and let our bond settle. I promise, I will talk to them by the end of next week. I won’t let this affect us as a group or our schedule.’

‘Alright’, Sejin relented. ‘I’ll have to talk to Bang Si-Hyuk about this but I doubt he will deny your request. We all know how much he values bonds. How much of the situation can I relay to him?’

Yoongi thought for a moment. ‘All of it, if you think it’s necessary. It’s probably best for him to be aware of what is going on, too. I’m sorry for causing so much trouble, I promise I will fix it.’

‘You’re not causing trouble, Yoongi. You did make a bad decision that night, that’s right, but not being able to fully open up to your mates is a result of trauma and not your fault. Whatever happened that night obviously still has a hold on you. My offer stands, Yoongi. If you do want to see a therapist, just say the word and we will arrange for that.’

‘I will, thank you. For now, I don’t feel comfortable talking to a stranger. But if things don’t get better, I promise to get back to you on that matter.’

Sejin gave him an understanding look. Everyone knew that Yoongi struggled opening up about his emotions so he wasn’t surprised that he didn’t feel comfortable talking to a therapist. For now, he would let it slide and get Bang Si-Hyuk’s opinion on the whole matter.

‘Alright then, Yoongi. You can take the week off. I’ll clear it with Bang Si-Hyuk. We’ll contact you if there are any urgent matters. Do you know where you’ll be staying?’

Yoongi nodded. ‘I’ll be staying with Jimin.’

Sejin quirked an eyebrow. ‘And does this Jimin have an address at which we can contact you?’

Yoongi had to suppress a grin. He was very sure Sejin would have a heart attack if he told him he was going to stay in an underground room hidden away in abandoned sewers, hanging out with the riverside homeless community. 

‘We’d like to keep his privacy for now. Just call my mobile phone if you need me.’

-----

Jimin was already waiting for him in the park when he returned. Yoongi couldn’t help the huge smile that spread on his face as he noticed their bond flood with happiness and affection the moment they locked eyes, the uneasiness and agitation of the last two hours fading away quickly. The younger didn’t hesitate, jumping up from the bench he had been sitting on and closing the last few meters between them before quickly pulling Yoongi into a tight embrace. Yoongi chuckled and hugged him back.

‘Missed me that much?’, he muttered under his breath.

Jimin pulled back, mustering him with the most adorable pout Yoongi had ever seen. ‘You’ve been gone for a long time. The bond felt strange. Don’t tell me it will always be like that?’

Yoongi laughed softly. He had felt it, too. They had been apart a little bit too long. ‘Don’t worry’, he tried to ease Jimin’s worries. ‘It’s just the first few days, while the bond is still settling. That’s why I talked to my manager, so we can take our time to adjust.’

Like they had discussed it over lunch. Yoongi had told Jimin that he needed to talk to their manager and figure out how to approach things from here, especially with their new bond. Jimin had been a bit uneasy about having anyone know about this, afraid to be blamed for something that had been out of his control. But Yoongi had been quick to reassure him, promising to not let the manager know any details about him except maybe his name. 

‘How did it go?’, Jimin asked tentatively. He didn’t have very high hopes. After all he was a stranger invading the private affairs of an established pack. A very famous pack on top of that. Somehow he doubted that anyone would be on his side in this matter.

‘It went very well’, Yoongi grinned at him. ‘I was able to take off the next week completely. The bond shouldn’t take longer than two or three days to settle but we’ll have the whole week to get to know each other better and figure out how to approach my mates, Jimin-ah.’

‘The whole week?’, Jimin repeated in disbelief. He hadn’t dared to hope for even two or three days and Yoongi had gotten a whole week? 

‘Yes, a week’, Yoongi repeated dutifully, watching as Jimin broke into a huge smile, his eyes crinkling and almost disappearing. He pulled him back into a hug. 

‘Happy?’

Jimin hummed, enjoying the embrace. He always felt so content around Yoongi. The elder’s hugs were the warmest thing he had ever experienced. Jimin silently apologized to Hajun-hyung for replacing him with Yoongi as his favorite hugger ever. A thought struck him and he stilled.

‘Hyung’, he asked quietly, ‘where will you be staying?’

‘Well’, Yoongi said, a smile forming on his face, ‘I was thinking of staying with you. Would that be alright with you, Jimin-ah?’

He knew the answer even before Jimin said a word, a huge wave of relief and fondness almost crushing their bond.

‘I’d love that, hyung.’ 

Chapter Text

‘What do you mean he took a week off?’

With a sigh Sejin took in the five men in front of him. He had been their main manager for several years now. Had started to work with them even before their actual debut, although in a different position. Over the years as the group got more successful, other managers had joined the team to help with the increased work task but he still considered himself to be the one they trusted most. He had seen them grow up after all, had seen them join the company as young trainees, had watched them work harder than anyone else he knew in the business and had been along with them every step of the way. Things hadn’t always been easy and there had been times when both the group and their company had considered giving up. But in the end they had pulled through, despite the odds being stacked against them and despite the industry throwing curveball after curveball at them.

It was those experiences that had formed a special bond not only between the band members themselves but also between them and the people in the company they had started out with. And Sejin was one of them.

The past few weeks he thought he had felt a weird tension between the pack members whenever they actually had group meetings. There hadn’t been a lot of those considering the group was in between comebacks right now and had a set schedule to follow regarding the preparations. They usually met him one per week to go over the progress in their preparations and fix up some lose ends but other than that, Sejin and the other managers rarely saw the group during these times.

And yet, during those few meetings they had together recently he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was off. He wasn’t quite sure what made him aware of it initially: the lack of teasing, the uneasy atmosphere or the extreme degree of politeness and professionalism. Not that the band wasn’t polite or professional. On the contrary. If anyone was exactly that, it was them, but there had never been need to display it to such an extend during company internal meetings. Usually those were laced with the mates joking around with each other, teasing each other and playfully fighting their way through arguments if they couldn’t decide on something immediately.

Not anymore, though. The last weekly meetings had been stifling to say the least. Decisions had been made by simple majority votes without any of the usual pro and con discussions. Communication had been lacking. Especially the two youngest members and Hoseok had been unusually quiet. Where usually everyone tossed around ideas, now Namjoon was presenting that of the whole group with everyone but Yoongi nodding along in agreement. The first time it had happened, the group’s eldest alpha had looked surprised but had quickly nodded at his mates. Almost as if he hadn’t been in the loop about it. Back then Sejin had chalked it up to some weird coincidence but it had kept happening in the following meetings as well and he had begun to be slightly concerned.

Having known all of the boys – that’s what they still were to him, despite all of them being adults now – for years, he was well aware of their assets and flaws. He knew that they had initially planned on forming a pack with only five people and that Yoongi had only come into the picture quite some time later. And pretty unwillingly at first. Sejin had been surprised when the five courting members had suddenly fought to extend that courtship to Yoongi. They got along well but they hadn’t seemed all that close to him. What had not surprised him was how stubborn Yoongi had been when it came to accepting the courting offer. As his manager, Sejin was aware of his family and therefore pack situation long before his band members ever learned about it. The company had worried at first to put the rapper in a group with the way he closed himself off but the alpha had always managed to be professional about it so they had decided to give it a try. And it had worked although it had been far from ideal when the other five decided to court each other.

Until they had insisted on courting Yoongi and eventually got him to agree. They had been endearingly insistent in Sejin’s eyes. Secretly he had been relieved to see it happen, both because Yoongi deserved to have a pack and a family again and because it would have been harder to manage and promote a group in which only one member wasn’t part of the pack. It would always have raised questions and been the focus of interviews all the time and as the businessman Sejin was, he was more than happy he didn’t have to deal with that issue in the end.

Still, despite the pack of six being obviously happy with each other, Sejin couldn’t help but worry sometimes. Time and time again he had noticed Yoongi taking a step back in discussions, foregoing his own wishes or arguments in favor of those of his mates. He obviously was trying to avoid upsetting the others and prevent conflict. And while that was admirable, it also had been concerning because his mates didn’t seem to realize what exactly was happening there. More than once Sejin had wondered if he maybe should take Namjoon aside and point it out to him but eventually he decided against it every single time. It wasn’t his relationship and the pack seemed happy enough, all six of them. It simply wasn’t for him to meddle in this, no matter how pressed he felt to do well for his charges. Projecting his past failures on them simply wouldn’t do.

And time seemed to prove his decision not to get involved right. The pack had been happy despite their deficiencies. Until now, apparently.

When Yoongi had asked Sejin for a private talk yesterday, the manager had known something was up. The alpha never had done so before. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he met him at the café but it definitely hadn’t been something this complicated.

There was no denying that Yoongi going out alone that night had been incredibly stupid and Sejin had half a mind to scold the boy for it. Luckily, he had quickly connected the dots between whatever had happened that night (Yoongi had only gone about it very briefly and Sejin had the feeling there was a lot more to it) and the current struggles the pack seemed to be having and had managed to refrain from it. If Yoongi was reaching out to him now, the last thing he wanted to do was spook him off. And so he had listened and offered to find the younger a therapist if he wanted to. Which, unsurprisingly, Yoongi had declined.

The full extent of the rift between the mates had come as a shock to Sejin. Granted he had only seen them in passing or during their weekly meeting lately but still – this was serious and he wondered how nobody had picked up on it before. They should have known it was more than just a simple problem when Namjoon had called in twice to ask for a day off because of pack struggles. Or when the whole pack with the exception of Yoongi took a day off together.

This was a big deal. They had a comeback around the corner and the pack was divided to a point where the rift wouldn’t be easily hidden from the prying eyes of the media and the public. Sejin’s manager mind immediately began to try to come up with possible explanations and spins on this while at the same time he couldn’t help but feel immensely concerned for the group of young men that had grown so dear to him.

And then Yoongi had dropped the bomb about having formed an instinctual bond with the stranger who had saved him that night. Fleetingly Sejin had wondered if all this was just a setup to get to Yoongi, if there was any way this stranger could have finagled the events to take advantage of the idol. But he knew that instinctual bonds couldn’t be forced so he decided to give this Jimin person the benefit of the doubt for now.

Yoongi had seemed so happy about the bond. Part of Sejin’s heart had hurt for him when he heard just how much the alpha had always longed for a bond as deep as this. He should have had it with his mates, he couldn’t help but think. But their communication issues, Yoongi’s tendency of hiding away his real self and the pack’s blissful ignorance towards that rather obvious fact had prevented that. No matter what Yoongi said, Sejin was sure he could have had a way deeper connection with his mates if it hadn’t been for all that.

This would be a hard pill to swallow for the other five. Everyone knew about the possibility of somebody finding their true mate when already being mated to somebody else but it happened so rarely that it was barely ever considered a threat to a relationship. Nobody was prepared for something like that to actually happen.

Which was why the other part of Sejin’s heart hurt just as badly for the five people now standing in front of him with haggard expressions, worry etched into their faces. While Sejin understood that Yoongi was hurt by their behavior – he didn’t condone their pack day or ghosting their mate, either – and could see why the rapper needed both time to settle his newly formed bond and to come to terms with what happened between him and his mates that night at the apartment, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for the men who so obviously had hoped to find their mate in his studio this morning.

He had known it would most likely come to this when he granted Yoongi his request, so he had made sure to be at the company as early as possible. They had still been earlier than him. The moment he stepped into the hallway that held his office, he had seen them camping in front of his door, looking more tired and wary than he had ever seen them before. It had only taken them a few seconds to swarm him and ask if he knew about Yoongi’s whereabouts, a faint shimmer of hope in their eyes, knowing that if anyone was still in the loop about their mate it would be him.

And Sejin had nothing to tell them to make it better. Sometimes he really hated his job.

With a sigh he had invited them into his office and gestured for them to sit down before deciding there was no use to beat about the bush about this. It would only make things worse. And so he told them that Yoongi had asked for a week off.

They had reared back as if someone had slapped them in the face at that, expressions ranging from disbelief to hurt and worry. And once again, despite knowing what he did about the situation, Sejin’s heart went out to them. They might have made mistakes but they were good people at heart, he knew that for a fact. They just had the unfortunate tendency to bring out the worst in each other sometimes.

He had seen it happen before in various situations when they got upset about something or didn’t know how to deal with a situation well. Instead of staying level-headed and thinking things through, these five would often rush into rather unfortunate decisions, reassuring each other that they were doing the right thing even though individually they might have never gone down that path.

Like that one time when they had been faced with heavy lip syncing accusations that had spawned all over the globe and just wouldn’t die down no matter what they did. It had frustrated not only the band but also the company and their management team because wherever they went and whatever they did it was being brought up again and again and again.

Until one day Namjoon, Seokjin, Hoseok, Taehyung and Jungkook had had enough and proposed that they should just really lip sync during their next tour since everybody expected them to do so anyway. No matter what anyone in the company said, they would just thwart any arguments by saying they wouldn’t sing live anymore on their next tour and fulfill the general expectations people had of them. Yoongi had simply listened and said nothing, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with his mates. Just when the frustrated managers and an even more frustrated Bang P.D. had been about to cave in to their demands – because really, what else could they do if their artists refused to sing live now? – he had stepped in though.

It happened during a tv music show. As the discussion about lip syncing had not yet been solved with the company, they were performing live as usual. Five members went onto stage sulking and one seemingly indifferent, leaving behind a group of irritated managers and staff. But then Yoongi’s part came on and he performed his rap with more fire than they had ever heard from him. The other members stopped in their tracks to stare at him – and he simply stopped mid verse, a smirk on his face as he let the beat continue without any backing vocals, showing everyone just where exactly to shove their lip syncing accusations. It probably also helped that his mates were so stunned by his act that they missed their next parts as well. The simple action once and for all ended the dreaded rumors and instead put the spotlight on Yoongi for a while for his kind of savage act. The rapper pretended to be indifferent about it all but Sejin still remembered the satisfied smirk the alpha tried to hide when after that particular show his mates dropped their demands of switching to lip syncing.

It was just one of several examples of those five talking each other into not so wise decisions. Yoongi seemed to be the exception from that group dynamic. The lip sync incident had not been the only time Sejin had actually seen the alpha stand his ground against his mates in those situations, effectively saving them from deciding something they might regret afterwards. It was interesting to see the rapper being able to stand up against his mates when it was to protect them from themselves but at the same time not doing anything to protect his own interests against them.

What happened now with the pack day and the ghosting sounded like another one of those group dynamic decisions to Sejin. Maybe it was a lesson they needed, he thought dejectedly, but throwing in the instinctual bond it was going to be a very tough one. He knew they didn’t mean any of it, he could see the regret in all of their eyes. They really did care about Yoongi, even if they had chosen the easy way out in their relationship and didn’t bother to take down all of the alpha’s walls to really get to know him. This was something Yoongi had played his own part in as well.

Once again Sejin sighed. It was so hard to take sides in this one. He really could see where all six of them were coming from so he would just do his best to stay impartial and hoped with everything he had that they would manage to work this out eventually. Not for their career’s sake but for their own. Sejin might be a business man but the happiness of his charges would always come first to him.

‘Sejin-hyung’, Namjoon’s voice ripped him out of his thoughts. ‘Please just… What do you mean he took a week off? Where did he go? We need to talk to him, we really do.’

It sounded so damn forlorn. And all Sejin could do was make it worse.

‘Yoongi asked me for a talk yesterday.’ Seeing their questioning expressions, he gave them a sad nod. ‘I know things haven’t been going well lately. Yoongi told me about what happened. All of it.’

‘All of it? He, he told you a-about the night when-‘, Taehyung’s eyes were wide. Yoongi hadn’t talked to them about the attack after that initial day of coming home. He had flat out refused, changing the topic whenever one of them had brought it up. Had he really told Sejin about it?

‘About the night when he was stupid enough to walk home and got attacked, yes’, Sejin concluded for him, taking in the hurt expressions on their faces. He hurried to explain. ‘Not in detail. All I know is that he decided to walk home, got attacked but saved and that he still struggles to come to terms with what happened that night.’

That seemed to startle them.

‘He still struggles with it?’, Jungkook inquired, confused. ‘But it has been weeks. And he didn’t want to talk about it with us whenever we tried to bring it up…’

‘He still struggles with it’, Sejin confirmed. ‘A lot. And he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it. So he might have pushed you away when you tried to address it but knowing Yoongi I bet he feels guilty about doing that, too. And if I had to guess, I’d say he was hoping for you to reach out to him and draw him out of his shell because he himself couldn’t do that first step. You all know how hard it is for him to open up in general. Now imagine that kind of struggle paired with the trauma of an attack.’

Somehow what he said must have triggered something in them because understanding began to dawn on their faces, followed in quick succession by realization, horror, regret and worry.

‘Shit’, Hoseok muttered under his breath.

Tears pooled in Taehyung’s eyes as he looked around at his mates. ‘We fucked that up, didn’t we?’

‘Where is he, hyung?’, Seokjin wanted to know. ‘Please, we have to – He hasn’t been answering our messages or calls since he left that night and he isn’t reacting to our attempts to reach out over the bond now that he let us back in. We just – we really need to talk to him, hyung.’

‘Hold up, wait’, Sejin said raising a hand as if to ask to speak up. ‘What do you mean by that, he let you back in? What happened?’

‘He-, we-’, Jungkook broke off, unsure how to even phrase this.

It was Namjoon’s turn to sigh. They hadn’t planned on bringing this to their manager’s attention but he couldn’t really blame Jin for the slip of tongue. They were all frazzled as it was. ‘That night after the fight at the apartment’, he admitted quietly, ‘Yoongi’s wolf shut us out. He let us in again the next day but it was- it was really unsettling. We really need to see him, hyung.’

This was worse than Sejin had thought. A shut out didn’t just happen without serious reason. Yoongi or his wolf or maybe even both must have been deeply hurt by the events of that night to trigger such a painful instinctual reaction. And Yoongi probably wasn’t even aware of it having happened. From what Sejin knew it was a very subconscious thing to do, the wolf side taking over for a while to protect the human side from further hurt and pain. Any hopes Sejin might have had for this to be solved quite easily dwindled down fast with this new piece of information.

‘I’m sorry you had to experience that, it must have been horrible’, he finally said with yet another sigh, trying to sound as positive as he could. ‘I wish I could tell you where Yoongi is but the truth is, I don’t know either.’

‘What do you mean you don’t?’ Hoseok gave their manager an incredulous look. ‘Aren’t we always supposed to let the company know where we are staying just in case any issues arise or we need media protection?’

‘You are’, Sejin reaffirmed. ‘But the circumstances are special. Yoongi asked to make an exemption to protect the privacy of the people he is staying with.’

‘The people he is staying with’, Jungkook repeated silently. ‘Is he- is he staying with Jimin?’

That surprised Sejin. He hadn’t expected them to know the man Yoongi had formed a bond with.

‘You know Jimin?’

Namjoon shook his head. ‘We don’t know him. But we know he is the one who saved Yoongi that night. And we think Yoongi has been spending time with him for a while. Sejin-hyung, we really think he is up to no good. He might have recognized Yoongi and he could be trying to take advantage of him. We can’t let that happen.’

They looked different now, determined and angry.

Yeah, sometimes Sejin really hated his job. Like in this very moment. What wouldn’t he give for a normal nine to five office job without any responsibilities right now. This whole mess was starting to make sense in a very painfully obvious way. Of course they weren’t angry with Yoongi anymore. They might have been back at the apartment but Yoongi exploding on them like that must have rendered staying angry with him impossible for them. Seeing him hurting so much must have triggered their protective instincts again – which he definitely knew they harbored towards Yoongi, they always had and most of the time it was adorable above anything else – leaving them with no other way then to direct their anger towards the next possible target. Which happened to be Jimin. Sejin really didn’t envy Yoongi’s ominous bond partner – he was probably in for a wild ride with these five.

He cleared his throat. ‘I know this must be very hard for you, but please try not to jump to conclusions without knowing the full story. After talking to Yoongi I have no reasons to believe that anyone is trying to manipulate him or take advantage of him in any way. Granted, I also don’t know this Jimin personally. But I trust Yoongi when he says he is a good person and so should you.’

‘But what if-‘ Seokjin began hesitatingly.

Sejin shook his head, giving them all a stern look. ‘No. No what ifs. Getting started on those will only lead you from one worst case scenario to another and cloud your judgement. If Yoongi vouches for him, Jimin deserves the benefit of the doubt at least until we meet him and can form our own opinions on him.’ His expression softened a bit. ‘I know you long to make things right with Yoongi. And I would make it possible for you to see him right away if I could. Trust me, from talking to him yesterday I know he is just as upset about this whole situation as you are. But while you five still have each other, he is the only one standing on the other side all by himself. I know you didn’t mean it when you ghosted him or had that beach day without him but have you tried looking at it from his perspective? How would you feel if the situation was reversed?’

He could tell they hadn’t really thought about it that way yet. As suspected this seemed to have been another one of their sulky bad decisions only this time it had backfired badly. Silently he watched as they mulled over what he just said, realization and regret beginning to show on their faces.

‘I know you want to make things right. And you will get a chance to do so, trust me. Yoongi promised to talk to you by the end of this week. For now though, he needs time to sort through things on his own. This has been hard not only on you but also on him. Give him the time and space he asked for and maybe think about this whole thing as well. Think about what happened, try to put yourselves in Yoongi’s position for a change. Figure out what went wrong, what needs fixing, what you need to talk about with him. Use this time he requested to prepare himself to face you again to prepare yourselves as well – so that you can actually talk instead of fighting again like last time. Do you think you can do that?’

Their manager watched as they exchanged glances with each other, silently communicating, taking advantage of their bond. All of them had formed that habit right from the moment they had mated, Yoongi included. It could be infuriating at times during meetings when they wanted something management or the company were against. Somehow they managed to silently communicate their next steps well enough to most of the time end up turning the tables in their favor.

Eventually, Namjoon cleared his throat. ‘You’re right. We will try to do that. Thank you, Sejin-hyung.’

Sejin gave them a warm smile. ‘No need to thank me. I know you can work this out, I’ll be right here rooting for all of you. Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you: Yoongi loves you and he really wants to fix things with you as well. He told me to pass that on to you.’

For the first time this morning he caught a glimpse of the young men he knew, happiness spreading over their faces at hearing their mate hadn’t given up on them yet. Watching them get up and leave his office, Sejin really hoped all seven of them, Jimin included, would be able to work this out. For now, he had given the majority of the pack a lot to think about. He could only hope it was enough to prevent them from making any more group dynamic fueled decisions.

-----

‘Hyung, you know I can’t do that!’ Jimin crossed his arms, an irritated look on his face.

Yoongi sighed. ‘Jimin-ah, please. Let me take care of it.’

With a determined shake of his head, Jimin closed the distance between them until he was standing right in front of Yoongi and gave him a hard stare. ‘Like it or not, this is my life, hyung. It’s how I survive, how all of us here survive. You can’t just expect me to put that at risk.’

‘I’m not’, Yoongi was starting to feel frustrated. ‘I told you I’d make up for it this week, didn’t I? You aren’t risking anything at all. Just let me do this.’

‘Why can’t you try to understand, Yoongi-hyung?! I’ve tried to explain it to you so many times. What else can I say to make you accept that even though my life is different from yours I am not a charity case?!’

Jimin was trying hard to keep his tears at bay. It was only Monday and they were already fighting. He could feel Yoongi’s frustration through their bond and it hurt to know that he was the cause of it. But he wouldn’t give in. He couldn’t. Not on a matter this essential to him.

‘Jimin-ah’, Yoongi’s voice ripped him out of his thoughts. ‘You’re not a charity case to me. I know you can take care of yourself. All I’m trying to do is to make things easier for both of us this week. Buy us some time if you want.’

‘We already have a lot of time even if I do run my errands and help around the community. Don’t you get it, hyung? That is my job, if you want to see it as that. I can’t just take time off from it. It’s not like I’m earning enough to have savings to fall back on if I slack off. Even if I wanted to, I simply can’t. People like me survive from day to day, we don’t get the privilege of taking a vacation.’

He hadn’t meant for it to sound so bitter. Not once since he had come to the river had he felt that way about his situation. The community had become his home and this was just how things worked around here. But seeing how easy it seemed to be for his bond partner to just take a whole week off without having to worry about how to make ends meet was both frustrating and irritating. He simply wasn’t in a position where he could afford that, why couldn’t Yoongi understand that?

With a huff, he turned away from the alpha and began to pack his backpack for the day. If he wanted to be on time, he would have to get going.

‘Jimin-ah-‘, Yoongi began but Jimin cut him off.

‘I’m going, hyung. If I don’t leave now, I’ll be late and I have a reputation to uphold around here.’

He made his way outside, fully aware of Yoongi trailing behind him. The elder still didn’t know the exact path to his place so he needed Jimin to lead the way. A hand found its way onto his arm and he sighed, grabbing it and giving it a squeeze as he maneuvered them through the tunnels.

Yoongi stayed silent even after they made their way outside. Letting go of his hand, Jimin stepped away.

‘I’m sorry, hyung. I really am. But I can’t abandon my duties like that.’

‘I never asked you to’, Yoongi finally spoke up, frowning.

‘But you did, hyung!’ Jimin wasn’t having it. ‘So what if you offer to pay for my expenses this week? What will I do next week if I can’t prepare for it already? And don’t just say you’ll cover then as well. I told you, I am not a charity case. If I don’t do my rounds, I will lose credibility with the vendors here. I cannot afford that. I need these jobs, hyung, even if they might not seem much to you.’

Seeing Yoongi open his mouth to reply, he was quick to intervene.

‘I don’t have the time for this right now, Yoongi-hyung. People are waiting for me to get started on my jobs for the day.’ He didn’t offer for Yoongi to come along. For now, he wanted to be alone. Even if it meant a strain to their bond. ‘Text Soobin if you want company, I’m sure they are around somewhere. I gotta get going now.’

And with that he turned and made his way towards the street market, stubbornly resisting the almost painful urge to look back.

-----

It didn’t take long for the kids to find Yoongi. He didn’t even have to text them. After Jimin left to go on his errands, Yoongi had made his way over to the park and settled on one of the benches there, lost in thought about the argument they just had.

Although he could feel Jimin’s annoyance through their bond, he could tell that the younger wasn’t angry with him. That in itself was a relief. The last thing Yoongi wanted was to fight with Jimin. He could have insisted on accompanying him on his errands and really, Yoongi would have loved to help him out. But he could also tell that right now Jimin needed some time to himself, so he had let him go. He hated how it agitated his bond though. There was nothing he craved more than being close to the beta right now. With a sigh he leaned back and looked up at the sky, pondering what he should do to make things right.

Someone plopped down on the bench right next to him, invading his personal space by leaning into him. ‘Maybe you should spend less time with Ji’, Beomgyu mused as he eyed him critically. ‘You’re starting to space out just like he does.’

‘They’re literally the same people, I told you so’, Taehyun exclaimed with a grin, making Yoongi give them a bewildered look. ‘What does that even mean?’, he demanded. Taehyun just shrugged and winked at Kai, who burst out laughing. ‘Nothing, Yoongi-hyung.’

So far they hadn’t told the kids about their bond. When they had met up with them for dinner last night they had filled them in on what had happened at the apartment and let them know that Yoongi would be staying with Jimin for the coming week. But that was as all they had shared. The bond was still fresh and for a little while longer they wanted to be selfish and keep it all to themselves. For good reason, too, Yoongi thought as he watched the kids growing amusement over their little inside joke.

‘You’re menaces’, he declared and moved away from Beomgyu, making him lose his balance and flop down on the bench.

Kai nodded at  Taehyun. ‘You’re right. They’re just the same.’

Yoongi smirked and shook his head. If only they knew.

‘How come you’re not with Ji this morning?’, Soobin gave him an inquiring look.

Yoongi sighed. ‘We might have had a little argument.’

The younger raised an eyebrow at that. ‘What happened?’

‘I offered to take over his expenses for this week since he’s letting me stay with him.’

‘Yoongi-hyung’, Yeonjun groaned. ‘Don’t you learn from your mistakes?’

Yoongi huffed. ‘I know very well you all can take care of yourselves. But having me stay with him makes Jimin think he has to provide for all my needs and take on more tasks, which is nonsense. I can very well get whatever I need myself. And I’d like to do the same for him as long as I’m here. He deserves to take a break, too, but he’s too stubborn to accept anything from me.’

‘Haven’t we been down this road before, hyung?’, Soobin asked. ‘Ji doesn’t take lightly to people wanting to take care of him at all. To be honest, I’m surprised he lets you do as much as he does already.’

‘I’m not doing anything at all’, Yoongi muttered under his breath.

‘You do, hyung’, Taehyun pointed out. ‘For starters, you got us the phones. And yes, I know that one was a huge argument but trust us when we say Ji is happy that we have them. We’ve known him long enough to be able to tell.’

Yeonjun nodded. ‘You’re also paying for our meals more often than we do for yours. Even though we would only have to pay for one extra person while you constantly have to pay for six.’

‘Do you know how big of a difference that alone makes for Ji, hyung?’, Kai wanted to know. ‘There’s a reason why we usually eat together with him. We can’t even begin to count the number of times he hashed out deals and took on extra errands just so we all would have a full meal when we couldn’t earn enough during a day to make it last for all of us.’

‘He always steps in for us’, Beomgyu said softly. ‘And he won’t hear a word about it from us, either. We owe him so much, Yoongi-hyung. It’s already not easy to provide for yourself out here but to also look after five other people? That’s hard work. Sure, there’s the community people but even old man Haneul can only do so much to help. He has the whole community to look after. Ji took it upon himself to make sure we get by. Not having to worry about the meal situation for now is a huge deal for him, hyung.’

If it were up to Yoongi, the whole meal situation wouldn’t be a problem ever again but Jimin would probably not be thrilled about an offer like that. He hummed, showing that he got their point. Still, he wasn’t exactly satisfied. Which must have shown on his face because Taehyun spoke up.

‘Yoongi-hyung’, he sighed, ‘what you do for Ji goes far beyond this. We’ve known him for three years and we have never seen him like this. He is letting his walls down and trust me, that is a huge deal for him. We have tried for years, hyung, and all it took you was roughly two days and he already began to open up more. Maybe you can’t tell but he has changed so much. He’s more affectionate, more relaxed, more trusting. You did that, hyung and that is more than money could ever buy.’

‘You’re doing enough, hyung. And Ji is very much aware of all of it. Don’t fight him on that errand thing. It’d only hurt his pride’, Soobin concluded.

It was hard to believe that he was talking to a bunch of kids. Several times now he had seen just how insightful and grown up they actually were, even though they often masked it by fooling around. Just like Jimin. All six of them were probably more perceptive and aware of what was going on around them than he or his mates had ever been. Yoongi didn’t want to even begin to think about what they must have gone through to reach this level of maturity at such a young age. If it were up to him, he’d swoop them all up and give them the home and way of life they deserved but he was well aware that none of them would accept that lightly.

Pulling himself together, he sat up straighter and smiled. ‘Thank you’, he said. ‘I guess I really needed to hear that.’ They beamed proudly and he swore to himself that he would figure out a way to help them without offending them. Until then, he’d just do whatever they would accept from him.

‘Do you need help with your errands today?’, he asked. ‘I’ll text Jimin to see if he wants to grab lunch with me so we can talk. But I’m free until then, so if there’s anything I can do…’

Yeonjun grinned. ‘We’re not going to say no to that. Come on, let’s get going.’

-----

Jimin was glad Yoongi hadn’t insisted on coming along. Although he couldn’t deny that he missed having the alpha around. He just loved bickering with him. Not to mention that the bond really was tingling with agitation at this point.

Nevertheless, he needed some time to step away and think. He knew Yoongi hadn’t meant to offend him when he offered to cover for this week’s expenses. That’s why he couldn’t be angry with him. But still, he wished the other would at least try to understand his point of view. It was frustrating having to decline and explain over and over again.

The tinge of guilt in their bond that had come from Yoongi’s side had settled a while ago, which was a relief. Jimin himself was also much calmer by now. In retrospective, maybe he had overreacted. In a way he understood where Yoongi was coming from. The elder just wanted to give something back. They had been through the same situation with the phones just a few days ago and Jimin couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was too sensitive to the prospect of accepting support. Yoongi was his bond partner now, not a random stranger. Maybe he could at least meet him halfway? They really needed to talk about this.

Taking out his phone to text Yoongi, he saw that the alpha had already sent him a message, asking to meet up for lunch. Sighing in relief, Jimin replied that he should most likely be free around noon and suggested for Yoongi to pick out a place to meet.

Just when he hit the send button, another message popped up on his screen.

HeadacheSquad: You know it’s ok to accept Yoongi-hyung’s offer, right?

Ji: Hello to you, too, Yeonjun.

HeadacheSquad: How’d you know it was me?

Ji: Soobin would have at least greeted me first.

HeadacheSquad: Are you saying that I’m rude?

Ji: I’m saying that you’re you.

HeadacheSquad: I feel like I might just have been insulted.

Ji: That’s definitely a you-problem.

HeadacheSquad: How are you even more defiant over text than in real life?

Ji: Do you really want to know?

Headache Squad: Ugh. No. Answer my initial question then.

Ji: Sometimes I wish we didn’t have these phones now.

HeadacheSquad: Do you expect me to believe that?

Ji: What do you think? To answer your question. It’s not that easy. You know that.

HeadacheSquad: I just sighed. I knew you would say that.