Archive of Our Own ^beta

Happiness fell into my hands

Regina was sitting in her office, looking tiredly at the papers in front of her, knowing that this wasn’t what she wanted, what she had planned when she first cast the dark curse. It all felt so stupid now, like she had done everything in vain. And right now she missed her father, because she felt more alone than ever before. Lost and alone and she hated it.

Everyone seemed to have found what they were looking for in this world, and although there was no denying that things had changed slowly after Emma came to town, it was still boring here. Specially after the dark curse was broken and they all found each other, all the happiness all around made her want to puke. Regina however wasn’t. She couldn’t quite wrap her mind around it, she didn’t understand why she wasn’t happy. Her spell had predicted that she would be happy in this world, and that the person what would be directly responsible for her happiness would be here as well. For some time, she even thought that the curse was still the reason she couldn’t find said person.

Clearly, she was wrong, as the curse had now been broken for quite some time, and she was still as lonely and unhappy. What bothered her more was that the more she tried to think about her vision, the more the person in it faded. For each year that went past the vision seemed to become blurrier. All she could picture now was boots, blue pants and blonde hair, and it made her feel utterly hopeless. She didn’t even remember if it was a man or a woman.

Regina was startled when Emma stepped into her office with no warning, the woman was a menace, a force of nature. Someone Regina rather wanted out of her town. She wanted this woman to drive back to wherever she came from, but that was impossible now. Henry had grown attached with her, so if she went Henry would go after her and they would be stuck in an endless circle that included the infuriating blonde. There was no way around it, the woman was too involved. It didn’t really help that Emma had been the one to break the curse. Regina groaned a little suddenly felt so very exhausted. he rested her head in her hands, not hearing what Emma was saying, she couldn’t deal with her nonsense today, she was already feeling bad enough as it was.

How did the prophecy about her true love go again…she couldn’t remember, the words were jumbling in her head making no sense and she wanted nothing more than to scream, to go home and rest as she was feeling feverish now. Her head was hammering and the world was spinning, and she couldn’t breathe as the walls were closing in on her. She needed air, to get out of there, to get home.

“Emma, I am sorry but this isn’t…” she felt her words fading and her voice was shivering now. It never shivered and she was seldom sick, so what was this? For whatever reason it had started after the curse broke and it became worse when Emma was near her. Regina’s feet were feeling wobbly and she was feeling powerless. It was hard to walk as it took too much power, and so did standing up, which caused her to sink to the floor. And in her weakened state she saw Emma kneel next to her to make sure she was alright.

She felt Emma’s hand on her forehead, hearing her say something about her skin burning up, and it scared Regina to her very core. She was scared that this was the end, she felt herself shivering with fear and her breath coming in jolts, trying to push her away. She didn’t want Emma there; she didn’t want to be here. She wanted to be with her soulmate or true love whatever, have a family with him, she wanted so badly to be happy. Didn’t she deserve it? Tears were forming in her eyes as Emma pulled her close whispering, “Hey, it’s alright, it will be alright, it’s just a fever. Why don’t I get you home and into bed? I can go back out for something to eat and bring to you.”

“No, I don’t need you too…I am fine, I just need too…” She tried as she tried to get up, but her body wouldn’t let her. Damn this shit. Damn this curse and this stupid town.

Emma steadied her enough to get her over to the couch so she could lay down. No, could wasn’t the right word, she demanded that Regina lay down since she refused to go home. She walked out and came back, pressing something wet on her forehead which felt soothing. Emma smiled down at her now, and in the sunlight, it looked like her hair was on fire. Her ocean green eyes were looking at her with great worry as she said, “Listen, Regina, I seriously think you have to slow down a little on your work. You are working yourself into an early grave and Henry needs you to stick around. We both know I am not mother material. How about you show me the ropes and maybe I could help you every once in a while? A silent partner, no one would ever have to know.”

“So you are not satisfied by taking my son away from me, but now you want my job as well! I can manage just fine, Miss Swan,” Regina said, but sat up too fast, causing her head to spin. She let out a groan in pain.

“Trust me when I say I don’t want your job, even if I got paid millions to do it. I am just offering to help you, like I do with Henry. Surely there were other things you would have loved doing like a single mom, other than to argue about bedtimes or homework. Maybe there have been nights where all you wanted to do was to have a glass of wine and chill by the TV, but he was having a fever or a tantrum so you couldn’t. Or a well-deserved shower got interrupted because of any need he might have because his needs were always more important than yours. You can tell yourself you never minded because it is what a mother is supposed to do. It is the job you took on when you adopted him. And you are great at it, I am not denying that, but maybe it would be nice every once in a while, to have an evening off. That is what I am offering here. I won’t even take him out of town, my place is no place for a kid, neither is my messy life. Which is why I am glad he has you, that you became his parent, because I cannot do what you do, not in a million years. But maybe, just this once you could let go of your pride and let me help you, maybe even take care of you,” Emma finished off. She stood tall and strong, arms in her side, looking down at the woman that was working so hard to push her away.

Regina considered her words, before resigning, “Okay, you can help, but only because I am too ill to do what needs to be done. That said, I am not leaving the office, I would rather be here overseeing it.”

“I suppose I can live with it, so what is the first task on the schedule? Take only what cannot be pushed for tomorrow, the most crucial tasks,” Emma said in a calm tone.

“The dockets on my desk, I need to go over and sign them before I leave, and there is a meeting agenda on my desk that needs to go out before the meeting tomorrow morning, but I seem to have been falling behind,” she sighed.

“Wait, you are doing all of this by hand, not on a computer?” Emma looked at Regina in shock. Even if the curse had been cast before the rise of technology, surely some of the businesses around used it. She even knew Henry to have a laptop at home. She made a mental note to help Regina with that issue later.

“I…I don’t do well with technology. I usually make the notes I need by hand, if something needs to be sent out my assistant types it up and send it. Does it really matter?” Regina groaned; her forehead was pounding like crazy now. She so wasn’t up for this.

“No, I will figure it out. Okay meeting agenda, you have something regarding a budget for the school, a school trip they want support to because not all the parents can afford it. Do you have the funding for it?”

“I do, but I am afraid that if I agree to this, then more and more will pile on. I was hoping to find another solution, but I cannot think of one.”

“The trip, it isn’t for another month, right? I think Henry mentioned it vaguely.”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“Okay so how about next weekend the school has a bake sale with some kind of lottery with a big prize for the winner. I am sure of the moms and dad are good at baking, and maybe Granny’s could contribute? It should be doable right?”

“I…never even thought about that, but it should be doable, yes. Write it down please.”

She could hear Emma writing something with a pen on the paper, every bone in her body being against it. But right now she would have to endure it or there would be no meeting the next day.

“Alright, next up is the firehouse, they want to expand it, but that means they need to buy land and the one owning it won’t sell. What can we do there?”

“I will have the fire marshal and the landowner here tomorrow, I was thinking about giving the fire department the land and funding they need, as lord knows they deserve it, and I will reimburse the landowner for the loss.”

“Alright, seems like that is closed,” Emma made some additional notes.

“New street signs on some streets?”

“Already ordered. They will be up by the end of the week. I need to ask the road workers if they have the time to install them though, I will gladly pay them extra for their effort. I have a plan for something to use the older ones for, but it might be a bit far-fetched.”

“Oh?”

“I have noticed a lot of the young ones in this town seem to be hanging around and vandalizing the streets after nightfall. I wanted to build a place where they could hang out, maybe with a skating rink and a basketball court that would be open all hours if they needed somewhere to go. Maybe they would leave the road signs alone if they had a place to go, and do stuff with their friends or others their age.”

“Wow, Regina, that is a wonderful idea! What made you think of it?”

“I didn’t have any friends growing up, making me turn out the way I did. Although the land is different, I can’t help but think that some of these kids are like me and need someone other than themselves. Lord knows I did.”

Emma looked at the other woman, her eyes were closed now, but she knew she was awake and thinking. She closed the curtains a little to make the room darker, knowing it helped when she had headaches. Emma thought for a second before she pressed the button on the speaker, “Marie, can you come in with a bottle of water and some glasses.”

“Of course, Ma’am, be there in a second,” she heard her say.

Regina didn’t object to this, mainly because she didn’t mind. She listened halfway as Emma went through the rest of the list, and in between made sure she drank water. It went faster than she would have managed alone, she gave Emma that, and Regina soon saw her hurry out to the secretary with it so she could type it up and send it out. She even helped her so she could properly sign the papers and then put them in envelopes so she could drop them off at a mailbox on her way out.

Regina wasn’t sure how she got home that evening, only that she woke up on her bed when it was dark outside. Her eyes fluttered open by Emma and Henry arguing, and this amused her. Not the arguing of course, but what they were arguing about.

“You cannot be serious,” Henry said frustrated.

“I am dead serious, young man. Homework before any kind of video games,” she insisted.

“You are supposed to be the cool mom, you know, now you sound just like her…”

“You will find, Henry, that in the future, education is one thing we agree on. I don’t want you to end up like me.”

“Fine, fine, I will do it, happy?”

“Very, and I promise we will play once you are done, alright?”

“Alright..”

She heard his door slam shut and Emma’s footsteps come towards her room. She groaned as she sat up, her head was still pounding, but seeing Emma come in made her heart flutter just a bit. She looked at her, holding a tray with a bowl and a plate on it. She looked a bit apologetic as she said, “I am sorry if that woke you. I just find that homework is…important, you know.”

“Agreed, but why now?” Regina wondered, as Emma came closer, putting the tray on her lap.

“Seems like you have enough with healing at the moment,” Emma shrugged. She lifted the bowl, and held a spoon to Regina’s lips.
Regina emptied the spoon, before she said, “So you are doing it as a charity, only to go back to being the cool mom when I am well?”

“No, that wasn’t what I…never mind,” Emma sighed as she feed Regina another spoon.

“I…don’t need your charity, Miss Swan. I manage fine on my own,” Regina said in a stubborn tone. Emma didn’t say anything, just frowned and fed Regina until the bowl of soup and the toast with butter was gone. Afterwards she held a glass of water to her lips and Regina soon emptied it as well.

Regina didn’t know what it was, but she was feeling sleepy again, yawning greatly. Emma simply removed the tray, and helped her lay back down, watching as she fell back to sleep.

She didn’t wake again until later that night, by then she felt a little better and managed to get to the bathroom to pee and brush her teeth. Once she was back in her bedroom she changed into her pajamas and went back to bed, seeing Emma appear in the doorway. She was also in sleeping wear, pj pants and a tank top. She looked at Regina with worried eyes, “Are you feeling better, Regina?”

“A little, thank you, but I am still drained. You could have gone home,” She said calmly.

“In the shape you were in, no chance, plus there was Henry,” Emma said with a shrug. She came closer and stood close, feeling her forehead. Emma retracted her hand, whispering, “Still burning up, I think maybe we should go to the hospital tomorrow if your fever doesn’t go down.”

“No, it is nothing I am sure,” Regina objected strongly as she lay down in her bed, her back facing Emma as she curled up, tears in her eyes. Where was the person that was supposed to bring her the happiness she was promised? It wasn’t Emma, that much was for sure, so where were they?

She heard Emma’s footsteps leave, but she was soon back, turning her over, dabbing her forehead with a wet cloth. She gently dried her tears, “Hey, it will be alright, this fever will go away.”

“No, it’s not that, but you wouldn’t understand,” Regina whispered, blinking away a few more tears.

“Try me,” Emma said in a soft tone.

“When I was younger, I cast a spell to find the one that would be the key to my happiness, and I knew it had to be in this land. But now that I have been here for what seems like forever, I still can’t find the person. Maybe I have done too much bad in my lifetime, so I am not deserving of happiness. Maybe it’s all a dream, maybe I never cast the spell, maybe I just dreamed I did,” she whispered, it all seemed so hazy now.

Emma frowned, “So you are letting a prophecy tell you how to live, how very Harry Potter of you. I think we all do a lot of shit growing up you know, trust me when I say I have and it shapes us, but it doesn’t matter if it leads us to where we are supposed to be.”

“There is a big difference between knocking someone out and dragging them back for bail and killing hundreds of people without even being sorry for it. I have no remorse and if it was in this world, I would be looking at death penalty or life without parole. If the people here remembered who they were, who I was they would be coming for my head.”

“Be that as it may, you can’t do anything to change that now, so please don’t worry about it. It doesn’t do you any good and it certainly won’t get that fever to go away. All it will do is drive you even more insane and prolong whatever you are having. Please try to rest, because this town needs its mayor for the meetings in the morning.”

“A pretend town with pretend people,” she huffed annoyed. Even with a broken curse, it seemed like it was all an elaborate game. She was no longer Queen or had a castle either, this was all just a diversion from her mind. 

“Shhh, none of that, close your eyes,” Emma said in a stern tone, continuing to dab her face with the cloth, humming gently. In her silent mind she did wonder if Regina was telling the truth or it was just fever fantasies. She shook her head, as she continued the treatment until Regina was sound asleep. She leaned over and pressed a kiss against her forehead. “I wish you would learn to let go of that anger, Madam Mayor.”

In the time to come Regina would seem to get better, only to become even sicker than she was before, continuing this pattern as the weeks progressed. She learned to depend more and more on Emma, leaning on her a little more each day. She found she didn’t mind her all too much, and that scared her deep down. As the spring turned to summer, she was laying home underneath the covers burning up, she wasn’t sure then what was real or not as she was having fever fantasizes going in and out of it.

It was like she was watching herself in a slow movie. She was in the throne room and she was using her magic to cast a spell, saying, “Power of wind, fire, mixed with the fight of the night, show me the true meaning of my happiness tonight. Show me who will be loyal to me and save my days before the morning sun shines its ray of light.”

She watched as a flame appeared in front of her like a small ball, slowly shaping into something, a person, a woman with hair as golden as the sun, with a jacket red like flames, and pants blue as the sky and boots. Regina frowned at this, as it was the first time, she had seen a woman wearing pants, this had to be a woman from another land or another time. But a woman, wasn’t she taught that you had to marry a man, become a good wife, bear children and…

Regina crushed the vision and let out a huff calling for Rumpelstiltskin. He soon appeared and bowed before her, “Your Majesty, what can I do for you this lovely morning?”

“Save it, imp, I need to know how to get to another realm?” She looked at him with small eyes.

“Another realm, Your Majesty?” He asked confused.

“Yes, the key to my happiness is there so I must go there at once,” She said, looking at him.

“Well, you have to cast a dark curse to get there. Did you really think it would be that easy?” He wondered curiously.

“Of course, if I get there, I will find her and I will be happy for the rest of my days.” She nodded thoughtfully.

“Her, Hour Majesty?” He looked at her with shocked eyes.

“Yes, her, now get on with it, let me know how to cast the curse,” She demanded, something dark shone in her eyes, making him know better than to disobey her.

Regina groaned in her half sleep, twisting, drenching her sheets with sweat. Emma looked at her with worried eyes, for over a month she had watched Regina go from bad to better and now to worse. Her skin was glowing red from the fever, and she had never seen anything like this. Regina was tossing and turning in bed, screaming in pain and Emma was debating on calling the doctor or an ambulance if the town had one, but she was scared that moving her would make it worse.

Emma had come to care for her over the past month as Regina had let her closer into her life, by letting her help her in the office and with Henry, because she had been ill to do so. Still, Emma was wondering what kind of illness that went on like this and for so long as she couldn’t find anything helpful online. She was convinced that whatever it was the hospital couldn’t cure her either. She was just scared it would kill Regina before she could find a solution.

Regina’s eyes fluttered open, looking into the room wild, but it was like she wasn’t seeing anything, letting Emma know she was still out of it. She sat down next to her, holding one of her hands in her own, whispering, “Regina, please, tell me how to help, tell me how to get you better.”

“Vault, mausoleum, graveyard, push coffin,” Regina whispered, her voice hardly auditable. Emma hurried to get a glass of water and a cloth. She managed to get some of the water in her and wet her face and lips, then she called Ruby.

“Hey, Em, what’s happening? She soon heard on the other end.

“I need you to stay with Regina - for a little while. She has taken a turn for the worse and I am afraid to leave her alone,” Emma quickly explained.

“Sure, I will be right there,” Ruby said without asking further and hung up. Emma sat down next to the bed again, dabbing cold water on Regina’s face and chest when she heard Henry from the door, “She is going to die, isn’t she?”

“No, she is just sick, I am sure she will get better,” Emma tried to sound optimistic.

“But she is only getting worse. Do you think it is my fault?” he asked her, tears threatening to show in his eyes now.

“No, kid, of course not. Why would you even think that?” Emma asked, wondering how she was going to console him as well as trying to get Regina’s fever down.

“Because she got sick when I brought you here, she was never sick a day in her life before,” he said, looking at his mother who was clearly groaning in pain, moving in the bed, her eyes closed and she was grasping at the sheets so hard her knuckles whitened.

“Never?” Emma asked, rather shocked. Surely Regina would have had a cold at some point in her life or picked up something from him. Even if she knew that some people went long or seldom got severely ill, it didn’t seem likely Regina would go for over ten years without at least a sniffle, especially since she was the sole caretaker of Henry. She could still remember Regina’s words the first time they met, “I hope you don’t take this as an invitation back into his life, but in the last decade while you have been doing, who knows what you have been doing, I’ve changed every diaper, sooth every fever, endured every tantrum. You may have given birth to him, but he is MY son!”

Emma had taken those words to heart and made sure to tell Regina she would never ever take Henry from her, it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. The woman was right and Emma could only imagine how scared Regina had to be of losing her little boy. Her voice had trembled as she spoke those words, which Emma back then had thought to be of anger, now she knew they were of fear.

Looking down on Regina in her bed, pajama top open, her face going between ghost white and red due to the fever that ravaged her body, and also caused her delirium, Emma swore that she would never leave this town. Not even if she got better, not even if her own life depended on it, because this was where Henry belonged, with the woman that cared for him when he was sick. She gently dabbed her forehead again as she heard him say, “Never, not even a cough in the spring. I think she might have tried to convince me she had a headache once or twice, but I know she didn’t really. I know she gets, you know, her period, but she doesn’t get sick from it. Not like others.”

“Too much info, kid,” Emma wrinkled her nose. But it made sense he would know as they had lived in the same house for years. So, either he was telling the truth or Regina was really good at covering it up. She was startled out of the thoughts when she heard the doorbell and sent Henry to open, soon seeing Ruby at the door. She looked at Emma and Regina saying, “Wow, she is really not doing well, is she?”

“No, and it scares me,” Emma said, not wanting to leave her, in case something happened while she was gone.

“I can understand that. But fear not, I got this. I have taken care of Granny when she was sick over the years. Speaking of which she is going to take Henry for the time being, I think it would be a good distraction,” she added as she tossed her leather jacket on a nearby chair only to come and sit down next to Emma.

“Good thinking,” Emma said, slowly getting up. She bent down to kiss Regina’s warm forehead, whispering, “I will be right back.” Ruby frowned by this, but kept her tongue. Emma was about to leave when she turned to Ruby and asked, “Has she ever been sick in the years you’ve known her?”

Ruby frowned at her and seemed to think for a second, before she answered, “No, but then again she is super healthy.”

“Still, I find that weird,” Emma said, shaking her head before she headed down the stairs, and out to her car. She drove to the cemetery where she soon found the mausoleum.

Emma looked at the building that was quite massive compared to the other graves, and intimidating. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she looked at it in the moonlight, knowing that Regina’s hidden secrets was somewhere inside there. She was sure she should have learned her lesson when she and Graham tried their luck at this place, and he was so convinced there was a lever somewhere inside there. Now that the spell had been broken Emma was certain that this very place was protected by magic, even when the curse was intact. Because, Regina didn’t seem like the person to leave her secrets out in the open for all to find. She took a breath and walked up to feel the doorhandle.

Of course, the door was closed, but she was good at picking locks so it was the least of her problems. She closed it behind her as soon as she entered, looking at two coffins, no doubt Regina’s parents. A shiver ran through her.

“Push the coffin aside,” Regina had told her. She tried first with one, then the other, but neither seemed to budge. Her next instinct was to look for hidden buttons, like Graham had done, but there didn’t seem to be any. She leaned against one of the coffins, cursing a little wondering what to do. By now, knowing it all was true, Regina was the Queen, a murderer. She had no doubt this place was protected by magic, and since that was the case, magic would be the only way to get in. But that couldn’t be, if she sent her there, Regina would have to know, even in her delirious state that Emma would be able to get inside somehow. She tried to push again, cursing, hitting the coffin as her tears started to fall, “Come on you stupid thing, move, I need to get down there, or she will die. I can’t lose her.”

And just then when it all felt so utterly hopeless, when she was about to give up, the coffin moved aside, revealing a stairwell. She frowned, but quickly climbed down, coming to a small room with a bed, a desk and some books. She quickly started to go through them, but most were written in what she could only assume was Spanish and a language she didn’t know. She found her phone to do a search for a translation online, but couldn’t seem to find any. Still, she sat down, hoping the illustrations would give her some indications of what she was looking for, maybe she could find the prophecy there somewhere.

For days and nights Emma sat reading, learning the unknown language without even realizing it. She read every spell, every incarnation, good, bad and in between, some of them making her skin crawl. She had no doubt that Regina could perform every single one of them without even blinking. This world, the world Emma had doubted ever since she stepped foot in this town, was now releasing itself to her. Reading through these pages and what she assumed was Regina’s side notes she no longer had any doubts that this was real. Her hand stroked over the page with the sleeping death, the one that had made her own parents be separated from each other. She looked at it and to her the curse in itself didn’t seem that difficult to make, it seemed more like advanced chemistry. The more she read the more fascinated she became by all of this. A world that she only had seen in fairytale books, but now was real. Out of curiosity, she even tried a few herself, but didn’t get very far, the only thing she managed was to make a small fireball appear and a pen to rise a few centimeters off the desk. She was surprised she could even manage that, didn’t question it. When she was done with the books in the front room, she ventured further inside and read every other book and parchment she could find.

She was startled when her phone rang late one afternoon when she discovered room hidden behind a mirror. She was looking around at some expensive dresses and jewelry worth more than she could ever dream of and then she saw it, leather bound books, tons of them. As she picked up the phone, she dragged one out of the shelf, what seemed to be the first of many as they were dated on the back of the covers. She looked at what could only be Regina’s handwriting. There were all dates and years there. About to start reading she said, “Hello, Henry, what is going on?”

“It’s mom, she is awake, and seems better. She is asking for you, do you want to talk to her?”

“Yes, put her on.” Emma took a huge breath of relief.

“Emma?” she heard Regina’s voice, it was weak, but at the same time more present than it had been in the longest time.

“Yes, Regina?”

“Where are you?”

“Your vault, you told me to go here, find out how to make you better. I have been here for over a month, reading almost every book. I am in the white room now, about to read your journals I think, but maybe I don’t need to now that you are awake?”

“I have nothing to hide, and it might be wise in case this happens again.”

“Alright, it may take me some time though. Will you be alright?”

“I will, and Henry is here. Just promise me one thing, when you are done down there come back to me.”

“Of course, Regina.”

“One more question, if you are there and I have been out sick, who is running this town?”

“Well I updated your mailing system and everything and have been dealing with everything digitally. Henry can show you I am sure. We are on track with most things, and the bake sale went really great. There is another this weekend to see if we can gather a little more cash, so they can go out and eat or something during the trip.”

Emma didn’t hear her response and wasn’t sure she was still there, until she heard Regina’s voice say, “I see, well thank you, Emma.”

“My pleasure, Your Majesty,” said Emma and hung up. She looked at the book and started to read.

By the time Emma was done with first journal something inside her was twisting. She decided to jump a bit ahead to what she would assume was before Regina was crowned as Queen to save some time. She read about the woman she knew as the least emotional of them all being madly in love with a boy and sneaking out to meet him, how they were going to run away together. Away from her mother’s grasp, because she didn’t care. To her money and power meant nothing compared to love. She read on to see how her mother ripped his heart out before her eyes, telling her that love was weakness. Emma finished the diary to learn how she became Queen and her first year as such, how alone she felt and how a fairy led her to her soulmate, but she didn’t dare go in and meet him. Afraid that he would end up like Daniel, afraid to let go of her anger. Afraid of who she was without the anger.

Tears welled in Emma’s eyes, as she felt such deep sympathy for this woman, this child that had been so full of hope and dreams, only to have it all ripped away until there was nothing left. The woman that wrote the next couple of books seemed to be obsessed with finding Snow White and killing her, not caring how many she harmed or killed to get there. Nothing of the old Regina seemed to be left in her, she was now bitter and full of anger and hate and it was driving her.

Emma knew by the acts she was reading that Regina had been right that this was happening in this world, in this realm she would be sentenced to jail, or an insane asylum. Emma didn’t even blame her as the woman had been molded from the day she was born to become someone she didn’t want to be. She looked at her phone and texted, “I am sorry for what you had to go through, I wish we would have met sooner so you didn’t have to be so alone.”

She didn’t get any answer, because it wasn’t anything to say, it was what it was. Regina, much like herself hadn’t been given any good odds in their lives. She continued to read, skimming through some of the journals as the content became the same; battle strategies, how much she hated Snow and Charming, the woman that ruined her life. It struck her that even if Snow had her best intentions at heart, was only a child at the time, but so was Regina. She had been a child without any childhood, only brought into the world to become what her mother couldn’t, Queen. Emma hated the woman, and she swore that if their paths ever crossed, she would make her regret her actions. 

Emma continued to read until she finally found the prophecy and let out a triumphant sound, as she read, “Today I cast the spell to show me the person that would be the cause of my happiness and she isn’t of this world. Not with a red leather jacket, blue pants like a man, boots, but maybe that is the point. Maybe I don’t belong with a man after what I did, maybe she can give me the family I always wanted. Maybe there is some kind of hope after all, even with Rumple’s warning.”

Rumple’s warning, what warning? Where the hell was there anything about a warning. Emma skimmed the book and the next but found nothing and groaned. She looked at the description again and swallowed, because it could only mean one thing, she was the key to Regina’s happiness. But she needed see Rumple and find out what the fuck this warning was about.

Still, there was one thing that didn’t make sense, if she was the key to Regina’s happiness, why did the woman do everything to make her life a living hell? She got out a diary that was closer to when Regina had to have adopted Henry and read, “I found out today that she, the key to my happiness is Henry’s mother, which would have been fine, had she not been the daughter of Snow White. I won’t have another White ruin my life, it is best to forget all about and take a memory potion to forget. I am sure in time I will find someone else that can fit with our family and make us content. Besides, it’s not like she will ever find this town, so what does it matter…”

“Aw, Regina,” Emma whispered as she put the book back on the shelf, suddenly it all made sense. Why Regina could no longer see the person that would cause her happiness clearly anymore, it was because of that memory potion. She simply couldn’t see what she didn’t remember. She sighed as she slowly let herself out of the vault, and out of the mausoleum. She needed to see Rumple right away. As she started the car to drive to town, it all made sense, how Mister Gold and Rumpelstiltskin was one and the same. Not only him, but all of them. Emma hadn’t quite wrapped her mind around it until then. She drove into town as the sun was rising and waited for Mister Gold’s shop to open. Once it did, she went inside, seeing him behind the counter. He looked at her surprised, “Miss Swan, what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I know who you really are and I need you to tell me the truth, right now!” she snarled as she came closer.

“I am sorry what?” His eyes looked confused, but an evil grin spread across his lips.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Rumpelstiltskin, or I will shoot you right here, right now. Because in this world you are close to powerless,” she said, hand on the gun in her belt. She wasn’t sure if he was powerless, she just had a feeling.

“No need for threats, as I said, what can I do for you?” he tried again, looking annoyed at her.

“The prophecy, Regina’s prophecy, I know I am the key to her happiness which she can’t remember. But I read that you gave her a warning and I need to know what it is, does it have anything to do with her being so very sick?” Emma looked at him. She was feeling like she was grasping for straws.

“It does yes, you can imagine that every spell has a pro and a con, like most things in life. This one is no different. You see it isn’t enough for you two to find each other, she needs to be deserving of your love, and acknowledge her true emotions for you. She may be alright with what she did back then, partly anyways, but there is a part of her that feels, deep down, that due to her evil doings she doesn’t deserve to be happy. She doesn’t think that anyone could ever love her after what she has done, in addition to being terrified to love again, makes her ill. Her conflict of emotions can kill her, simply because she doesn’t remember,” he said with a sigh.

“How do I reverse the spell or get her to see that she is wrong?” she asked, politely.

“I am afraid you cannot reverse it there isn’t enough magic here yet. But you can always try the old true love’s kiss,” he said with a small laughter.

“You are useless,” Emma said annoyed, as she headed out the door, letting it slam shut behind her. Once outside, she leaned herself against the side of her bug, letting her tears start to fall. This was too much for her to handle, and right then she felt as alone as Regina had to have felt all those years ago. The only difference was that she knew who Regina was and not the other way around. Not that it mattered, not now anyways, the woman couldn’t remember her. She had most likely used what was left of her potion to erase her, because of Emma’s damn mother.The only the way Emma saw it, she wasn’t a White, she never was. She was a Swan. So the prophecy could still work even with her genetic trade, if one believed in such, something she didn’t. But Regina did and it was then something dawned upon her, she got in her car and drove back to the vault.

Regina was sitting in her bed with a breakfast tray on her lap when she heard Emma’s footsteps from downstairs, and they were coming closer. Emma, the menace, the whirlwind that made her life more interesting than it had been when time stood still. Emma, that was the only one she would ever let drive herself crazy without consequences. Emma, according to Ruby had tended to her fever’s day after day and night after night until lately. Emma, who was trying to find a cure for her illness. She probably hadn’t, but she knew she wouldn’t stop until she had, because there was no way the savior would let her die. Not when she was Henry’s mom. Tears in her eyes, making her not so little boy look at her, “Mom, are you alright?”

“No, I think my emotions are going a little crazy,” she said with a heavy sigh. He nodded, most likely thinking she had her period on top of everything else.

Regina shook her head, thinking about how crazy the notion was. According to her birth date she was over sixty, but time had stood still and so her body looked at that of a thirty something year old woman. Meaning she still had her periods and everything else, which to her was a cruel joke. All of this was a cruel joke, how drawn she felt to Emma, without knowing why.

As soon as the door open, she heard Emma’s tired voice say, “Henry, I need a moment with your mom.”

He didn’t ask, he just made a run for it as Emma came in holding two of her leather covered journals. She opened on a page in each, holding them before Regina as she said, “Your prophecy, it was about me, but you can’t remember, it is all right here. Just so you know, I may have been born a White, but I grew up a Swan! We could have been great together. but you…you tossed it all aside because of your own anger.”

She looked at Emma, who had tears in her eyes, which could only mean one thing, Emma had as much feelings for her as she had for Emma. She held her own as Regina read through the pages and the realization hit her hard, and she felt lost in her own words. She looked up at Emma and Emma looked back at her. She was no better than Emma’s foster families, tossing her aside for something better, or rather someone she hoped was better, but she knew now, what her body was trying to tell her, there was no one else. No one like Emma, and now she had fucked it up, and it caused something deep inside her hurt, and her heart to shatter. She didn’t show it though as she was good at hiding her emotions, her mother taught her well.

“Emma…I…” She started to say, but she didn’t know how to finish, because there weren’t words enough words to describe how she felt. She knew it and she knew Emma for sure did. She watched as the other woman shook her head, “I am gonna leave, go back to where I come from, or go elsewhere so Henry can’t find me. You did this, because you didn’t want me, so you get your wish.”

She watched her leave, but she couldn’t take it as her insides were screaming. On shaky legs she got out of bed, feeling the cold floor beneath her. She didn’t care that her body wasn’t ready for this or that she most likely would pay for it later as she made it as fast as she could to the door, seeing Emma was at the top of the stairs when she reached it.

“Emma…Please wait.”

“Whatever for,” the other woman whispered, but she stopped and turned, letting Regina near her where she stood. Regina shivered now, not at any point in her life had she been so scared of being pushed aside. She used her toes to push her up from the floor, so they came face to face, then cupped Emma’s cheeks and pushed her own lips against Emma’s. She felt how Emma returned it for some time, letting out a small sound, before backing away.

“Emma, I know I haven’t figured it all out yet, but please don’t go. Not only because I need you to stay, but because I want you to stay. I won’t hold you back or force you to stay if you don’t want to. Please stay.”

“I…need some time, this…is a lot to take in.”

“I understand I will wait as long as it takes.”

Emma pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, before she hurried down the stairs. Regina heard the door slam as she leaned against the banister crying quietly. From the doorway of his room, Henry watched his mothers share their first kiss and for the first time in his life he saw Regina lay her emotions bare for anyone to see, letting him know that she really cared for his other mom. He dared to go out and pat on her back, so she turned to hold him, crying onto him. He didn’t mind, he just let her get it all out, then helped her back into the bedroom, so she could rest.

Emma didn’t know where to go when she left Regina’s and so she ended up getting some food from Granny’s and a couple of things from the store in town and then went back to Regina’s vault. She sank down on the makeshift bed in the front room feeling ever so lost. In her silent mind she wondered how many times Regina had found herself here, on this bed feeling lost. I couldn’t have been few or the bed wouldn’t be there.

Regina knew she was the key to her happiness and still she couldn’t get past that she was a White, a half White to be exact, she had no idea what kingdom her father was supposed to rule over. Here she only knew him as David Nolan, the current sheriff. She sighed as she kicked off her shoes and wondered if Regina could see her through the mirrors down there. Probably not as she most likely didn’t have any magic left and if so it was limited.

She walked further towards the mirror, wondering if she could see the other woman at all if she tried commanding it. Surely it couldn’t hurt to try and so she looked at it, whispering, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, show me who I desire most of all?”

Emma looked at her own reflection, with great disappointment, tempted to tear the mirror, every mirror in there down and smash it. Surely being so frigging connected to this place and mirrors that would show her. Her hands went to the sides of it, when Regina appeared before her, making Emma’s eyes widen and she gasped backing away from it. The mirror she was looking through was on Regina’s vanity pointed towards the bed where the woman lay curled up, crying. She was pretty sure it was a one-way access and so she couldn’t talk through it, but maybe, she blew on the mirror and wrote something on it, hoping it would show on the other side long enough for Regina to see it. It couldn’t hurt to try.

She sighed as the image vanished and went to lay down on the bed for some time longer. She looked up at the ceiling, wondering how strange it all was. Henry’s book was true, Regina was a Queen and she was a Princess, she was heir to a kingdom somewhere. She took her things and went back to the white room. She, needed to know more about the world her parents and Regina grew up. Where she was from originally. Even if she saw it through Regina’s eyes and she couldn’t read it all, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Regina watched as another message showed up in the mirror in her house. It was the fourth day that Emma had managed to do it, simple messages and questions. Emma asked about her past, about her day or if she was better. She answered the same way, knowing they went through. The messages let her also know where Emma was and that she had magic abilities or the messages would never have gone through to begin with. She was feeling better, but still not great, so she was working from home. She even held a couple of meetings in her dining room.

Curled up underneath a blanket with a mug of hot tea, she turned on a random TV station, wondering if Emma would ever come back and talk to her in person, when the door opened. She heard them then, the clicking of Emma’s booths coming closer. She didn’t turn her head to look at her as the savior soon slumped down next to her on the couch. She seemed tired, like she hadn’t slept in days, Regina could see in her peripheral vision.

By now she knew that Emma had read most of her diaries, and that she was slowly learning the truth of what happened back then. She knew that Regina tried to kill her parents and her, that Regina was a coldblooded killer suffering from a broken heart and a lot of other things she had done. She also learned about her hopes, dreams and desires from some of the journals. It all seemed gone now, her happiness, the family she wanted and needed, due to her past.

Emma reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze, and so Regina looked at her, feeling her heart beat hard with fear. This was it, she knew it was. Emma would tell her she would leave and take Henry with her, that she was not fit or deserving to be his mom. Her breath hitched as she looked at Emma, but Emma didn’t say what she was prepared to hear, not in a million years. Instead, there was a half command slipping those pale red lips.

“I am exhausted and I need rest, and by the looks of it you do too, let’s go to bed and sleep.”

Of all the things Emma could have said, this was the most surprising one. So much so that her jaw dropped. She closed it and nodded quietly. As she walked with her, the blanket fell to a puddle on the floor. Slowly they made their way up the stairs and into Regina’s bedroom where they got on appropriate attire and lay down in bed together. Regina curled up within Emma’s grasp, not knowing what to say or feel, her tears again started to fall. Emma pressed some kisses into her hair and whispered, “Shhh, it’s alright, I am home, Your Majesty. I am finally home.”

Regina felt like the heart exploded inside her chest then, by happiness, by the feeling she had, for so many years denied herself. But right then in Emma’s arms it was what she felt, a happiness that consumed her, and as she looked up into her eyes, and saw the love shining towards her she felt fuzzy, but in a good way. She didn’t care then if the curse broke and people stormed her door, because it wouldn’t matter. To her all that mattered was the woman in her bed, the one that held her closed and ever so awkwardly dared to kiss her for the second time in four days.

She smiled as the kiss broke and again curled up within her grasp, hearing Emma whisper, “I know it isn’t logical, but I love you Regina Mills.”

“And I love you, Emma Swan,” she said, knowing Emma had to know if she read her journals. She yawned then, before she fell into a sweet slumber, protected from the world by her happiness.