Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\  No one's POV  /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

Tommy doesn't like his body   

If you look at him you would think 'what a lovely young girl' and he hates it   

He hates how he gets called tammy   

He hates how he has curves 

He hates how he has breasts

So he changed it

He stopped eating to get rid of the curves   

He wore a binder for way longer then your supposed to, to get rid of the breasts      

But he can't do enything about being called tammy, because he still sceard to come out

He thinks his family would hate him, he only told ranboo because they are non-binery and then ranboo told tubbo thinking he already knew, it was safe to say that ended about as great as you would expect.    

It went horribly, but they got through it, Tommy did end up admiting to tubbo and ranboo felt so bad he bought Tommy his first two ( and only two) binders.      

Right know Tommy is sitting on his bed waiting for dinner bored out of his mind    

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Wilbur POV -- 6:30 /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

I'm halfway through playing my knew song that I just finished writing when I get called down for dinner. As always it's a race to the kitchen and so far I'm undefeated, sure its a secret race that no one else knows about but it still counts.              

I walk into the kitchen and as always I'm the first one there ( besides Phil and Kristin but that's only because they actually make the food so it doesn't count). I sit down at the head of the table right as Techno walks in the room with Tammy right behind him, they sit down techno to my left and Tammy to my right. Kristin and and Phil hand out the plates and it's curry, Tammy's favourite, witch is probably because she's has been down lately, I have tried in subtle ways. It she never understands the question.              

I watch as everyone starts to eat before I do, but I noticed Tammy stabbing at hers and make a mental note to bring that up at family therapy time (they don't actually go to therapy it's just when Wilbur, Tammy and techno build a pillow fort every other weekend and talk about there feelings, but if enyone asked they would never admit to it).     

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ 7:30 /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

Dinner goes well and we all retreat to there room for the night, sadly I'm not allowed to play my guitar past 7pm so I decided to watch YouTube untill I have to go to sleep early (fuck school nights).        

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Tommy POV /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

I walked down to eat dinner, bumping into techno in the hall, I mumble a quick sorry before we continue and walk down the stairs to the kitchen.     

Wilbur is there first as always, you would think it's some sort of game to him, but that's silly I'm sure he just likes the food, I mean Kristin is a killer cook, it's sad she's not here most nights because she works nights at some sort of security place, I'm not quite sure where tho.    

Me and techno sit down and Kristin hands me a plate of curry, my favourite, I always loved Kristin's curry it's a shame she bearly makes at as she isn't to fond of it, I wonder if it's because I've been a bit upset, but that couldn't be the case right? It's not like in acting differently. If I was they would of said something right? Or do they just not care about me, it makes sense who would want a stupid tranny as a child. It's stupid thinking that and I know it is, they can't know because if they did they would of sent me back to foster care already, I think, I mean Phil adopted me at 14 after a year and a half of living with them, and he just thought I was a tomboy, I mean I guess I was, even I didn't know I was trans then, but what would happen if I told him? He would definitely be upset right? I mean I'm not a girl! He specifically asked for a younger teenage girl when he went to that group home, so would he send me back?

"Shut the fuck up" I mumble under my breath at a bearly auditable volume, I know it's stupid to think that way, Phil loves me, he sees me as his kid, so why is it so scary.

Suddenly I feel eyes burying into the side of my skull, that's when I noticed I was just stabbing at my food, fucking hell Wilbur must have noticed, I start to slowly chew my food with no intention of keeping it down

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ 10.09 /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

"Tammy"

I jump because who the fuck and why?!?!!?!

I turn around to see Phil standing by the door"hi?"

"Tammy do you know what time it is?"

"Yea 10 why?"

"Tammy it's a school night" Phil says with a amused tone

"Shit sorry Phil I'll try to get to sleep"

"It's alright ya little shit, make sure to sleep well"

"Goodnight"

"Goodnight"

I wait about half a hour before slowly making my way to the upstairs bathroom, making sure to avoid all the creaking floor boards I memorised the first week of being here

I slowly creep open the bathroom door and see a wide eyes techno standing infront of the sink with something small and metal in his hands

"Lock the door next time yea?" I say before making my way back to the room.

About three minutes later I hear a nock on my door, I slowly opened it to fine a..... guilty? Looking techno

"Sup big man"

"Tammy I think we should talk"

"Ok?"

I sit down on my bed and motion for him to do the same

"It's alright I'll stand, I won't take long enyway"

"Alright what is it then?"

"I sorry you had to see that, I would of locked the door I'm just begging that you don't tell Phil we have had this whole talk before and I ju-"

"techno jeez slow down"

"......What?"

"I don't know what you think I saw, but if there's something wrong you can tell me, you know that right?"

"Right- yea ok then..... Bye Tammy"

Techno then proceeds to speed walk out of my room at incredible speeds

"Well that was- strange?" I wisper to myself

It's to late to think about that now, off to the bathroom I go

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

After my less then plaesent throw up session I quickly get back into bed 'forgetting' to take off my binder

as I drift off my mind goes to techno and what he possibly could of been doing

Chapter Text

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Tommy's POV --  6AM /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

When I woke up I can feel my ribs telling at me to take off my binder, do I listen? No

"Tammy, love breakfast is almost ready"

I heard Kristin yell from the kitchen

"IM COMING" I yelled back

I got up as quick as I could (not very quickly because... Ya know.. my ribs?) I quickly changed out of my pyjamas and into my red and Wight T-Shirt and blue jeans.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen to see wilbur and Kristin talking (it's mostly Kristin, Wilbur is downing coffee after coffee)

"Will you have to stop or your going to have a heart attack" i said jokingly

"Heart attacks are for the week bitch boy"

At that moment I felt like my heart stopped... But in a good way? It felt like i was sitting in a field full of rose's and a bed just landing on my nose, ranboo talked about this feeling all the time, what was it?

Gender euphoria? Yea I think that's it

 Kristin must have noticed my shock because she asked "hey love are you feeling alright today, your kinda out of it?"

I look at her and nod, slowly grabing my bag and keys and rushing out the house yelling that I'm leaving

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

When I arrive at Ranboos house Tubbo is already there "AYUP TUBSO"

"AYYYY BIG MAN!!!!"

Suddenly ranboo's door slams open and ranboos mum yells "SHUT IT BEFORE I PUT YOU IN A BIN"

me and tubbo both salute her and yell

"YES SIR"

Me and tubbo both fall into a fit of big manly laughs, ranboo's mum standing at the door with a fond look on her face

A minute after ranboo walked out and their mum attacked them with a bunch of cheek kisses, ranboo's mum is an awesome person, she almost beets Kristin or Niki on my top 10 women's list, ranboo is quick to join us as we start walking to school

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

When we are at the school gates I suddenly hear tubbo ask

"Hey big man are you alright?"

"Yea man why?"

"It's just that your walking kinda funny"

"Yea I agree with tubbo dude, wait how long have you been wearing your binder?!"

I look at ranboo and I know he can immediately tell i never took it off last night and I would feel to bad if I lied to them

"I may have forgotten to take it off last night.... And the night before"

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK" Tubbo yelled

I just look at the ground guilt swallowing me hole, ranboo had bought this for me, and I ignored his one request, that I keep being responsible, and what do I do? Fuck it up like I do everything.

Ranboo must off seen my inner battles because he quickly grabbed my hand and lead me to the disabled toilets, thank God that I was able to tell the school counselor at the start of my gender crisis that I felt uncomfortable in the woman's toilets, what a great guy, he immediately sent a request that I was able to use the disabled toilets,

She shoved me inside along with him and tubbo and reached into his bag and pulled out a hoodie with looked very similar to my iconic shirt

"Boob boy why dose it look so much like the shirt I always wear?"

"It's my emergency Tommy hoodie!"

At this moment I knew he was the best person ever, I would trade the world this this human being, at least I think the're human, they do act more like a cat sometimes but that's besides the point

"Ranboo I love you so mutch"

" Tommy it's no problem I knew you were going to do this someday, just please be more carful ok?" He asked while handing me the hoodie

"I promise"

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

After I get changed ranboo took my binder and said that he would give it back to me at the end of the day so I wouldn't just put it strate back on

In all fairness I probably would have

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

I'm walking down the hall to my first lesson when I bump into someone

"Hey sorry man my ba-" 

I stood in shock as the burn on my cheek fades, this bitch just slapped me

I turn to look at his face when my stomach drops, out of every one I could of bumped into it had to be fucking dream, the one person you don't mess with because he is high key phycotic and he hold a grudge,

I quickly scramble to get my things that have dispersed on the floor when he spits in my face, FUCKING SPITS IN MY FACE

I immediately get up and smack him over the head with my bag and scurry away as quick as possible

Shit I think I may have just made the worst mistakes of my life

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Nobody's POV /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

now by nobody's means is Tommy a unattractive 'girl', I mean he's thin, got long curly blond hair, and a perfect face but the problem is his temper, he would yell out even in the middle of class if he even got the slightest bit annoyed

And that's what lead him here, the back of the school gym beaten within a inch of his life, dose he know what he did, yes vividly.

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Tommy's POV /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

I'm sitting in 2nd lesson waiting for the bell to ring so I can go to brake, and as if the gods answered my prayers it rang, I immediately ran out of the classroom and ran down the hall when suddenly I was grabbed by someone and dragged behind the school gym, there I stood faceing dream

"What the fuck you you want" I spat 

I knew exactly what he wanted, it was for me to regret living, the amount of people this man had driven to suicide is in uimaginable, it had to be 20 at least

So I think you could understand that I'm less then thrilled that I'm his next target.

"Your pretty you know?"

What?

"If only you knew how to shut your fucking mouth" after that I was dropped to the floor and kicked repeatedly, over and over and over again, Im bearly conscious by the time I hear a very fermilier monotone voice, 

"What the fuck do you think your doing dream"

"Just having a little fun, you know you can get some hits in to, it gets rid of a bunch of stress from the fencing team"

"Step away from my sister or I'm going to put your head through a wall"

After a second dream seems to realise who I am and backed off immediately apologizing to techno and saying stuff like

"We do it all the time it's nothing"

"It could of been alot worse"

And "we didn't know it was your sister we swear"

After that I blacked out

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

When I woke up I was lying down on the... living Room sofa?

How? Why?

It was then that I realized how my body throbs with pain.

I let out a hiss of pain and that's when I here Phil

" Oi mate you alright?!?"

Bit of an under reaction if you ask me

I made another groan of pain and he quickly set of to do hell knows what

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

When he arrived back he was holding some pain killers and a glass of water,

I immediately downed both but because of the empty stomach it didn't take long for me to drift off to sleep 

Chapter Text

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Techno POV /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

Fucking dream, of course it was fucking dream, I mean this has to be why Tammy has been upset all the time, she's being bullied.

I am currently sitting on the sofa with Tammy curled up at my side while the movie 'Up' plays. we haven't spoken a word to each other since she woke up. I feel like I've failed her as a brother, I should of been there to protect her, sure I stopped it but if I had just paid more attention and looked for the signs I could of helped before this happend. I just want to her to know that I'll always be there for her.

"Tech?"

"Yea sunshine?"

"Stop thinking so loud"

"Sorry"

Well that went.... Well?

I mean it was the first words we have spoken to each other all day so it's not like it went poorly

" I know why you've been so upset lately"

Immediately Tammy stiffened

"You do?" She asked with a shaky voice

"Yea sunshine, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to help, before hand. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I guess..." 

"How long has it been going on for?"

Tammy gives me a weird look and says

"I've known for a while"

That's a weird way of phrasing it

"Well you can tell me anything, your know that right?"

Tammy snuggles her head against my chest

"Yea I know, thanks for understanding"

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Tommy POV /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

After the movie finished me and techno went to our rooms, and that's when the panic set in.

Fuck-

How could he know?!? 

Did he read my diary?!????

Did he find my binder?

FUCK ranboo still has it!!!

Wait don't I have two?

Ranboo is a literal god send

But still how the fuck dose he know.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fu-

"Tammy are you alright?"

I snap my head towards my door to see techno standing there holding what looks to be every blanket we own, he has a worried yet somehow still blank look on his face

"Yea?, I guess I just didn't expect you to find out is all."

"I know its hard but I need you to talk to me, or Phil and Kristin are going to nag you with questions until you give up and tell them"

"Wait do Phil and Kristin both know?!?"

"Well yea it's kinda obvious isn't it?"

"It is?"

Techno just hums in agreement

"I thought we could build a fort and have one of those weird emotional things you do with Wilbur"

"That would be great"

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

We set up a fort and it takes just over a hour, we get comfy and I check my phone

"Fuck tech it's 1am we have school tomorrow!!" I wisper yelled at him

"Don't worry Phil is letting us have the rest of the week of untill the dream... Situation is delt with."

Ahh that made sense but why is techno off?

"Why are you not going in?"

" I'm technically not allowed back because I beat up dream and may have broken his hand"

"Techno you didn't have to do that y'know"

"I know but I wanted to. Now talk to me"

I take a deep breath

"Alright here it goes. Tech I'm trans and I prefer he/him pronoun's and have for a while, my name isn't Tammy it's Tommy, and I know what your thinking 'why make it so similar' well it's because it makes it less bad when someone calls me Tammy"

"....."

"Tech?"

Techno is just sitting in the fort with a still black but still incredibly confused face

"You didn't know did you...."

"No..."

".... Are you mad?"

"HEH WTF ta-tommy why the fuck would I be mad?!?, Your my brother and I will always love you no matter what"

It's at this point where I start balling and when I say balling I mean full on aggressive sobs

I try to say something but all that comes out is sobs and uninterruptible words

Techno pulls me close and that's how we fall asleep, snuggled in each others embrace while techno tells me that it's ok and that I will always be his little brother.

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ 11:36am /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

When I wake up I am alone. I make my way downstairs, not bothering to change out of my pajamas (sweatpants and the hoodie ranboo gave me). When I get to the kitchen I see Niki?

"Niki what the fuck are you doing here"

"Will said you weren't feeling well so Phil let me in and I'm baking you cookies"

"Niki I literally love you so much"

"I know you say that to me every time you see me, now come over here and help me with the eggs, I know it's your favourite bit"

"Ok Niki the only woman ever"

And after a flour fight and maybe some eggs thrown about we were left with a two trays of cookies ready to go in the oven

"I'm not cleaning this up, it's your mess"

"Niki how could you do this to me I'm not well *cough* *cough*"

"Ughh fine, but only because your my favourite "

"Thank you Niki"

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Techno POV -- 11:20 /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

I woke up to ta- Tommy snuggled up to me.

I slowly push him away and get ready to start my day.

When I finally go down stairs I see Niki in the kitchen starting to bake, it was to early for human interaction so I snuck out the front door without her knowing.

Now that I'm out the house I have no idea what to do, I could go to Erets.. wait no she's at school.... So what could I do?

YESS that's it!! I could go and get a gift for Tommy since I practically tricked him into coming out...

Ok when I say it like that it's sound mutch worse than it actually is but the point still stands. It's settled then, I'm going to get Tommy a gift, it's just what to get?

Binders? I think he would like that! Maybe I could even pay for a haircut, it probably won't be as short as he would like but it might help!!

OMG I have the perfect idea, I just need a little help for it-

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Ranboo POV /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

I'm Im the middle of 4th lesson when I get a text from techno

Blood God

Ranboo I need your help with a gift for Tommy, say no and you die

Sent 11:54