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Goro knew from the very beginning that, despite being accepted as a Phantom Thief after helping their group in Shido’s palace, he would never get to be one of them in any way deeper than in name.
Ironically, Ryuji was the one who made the biggest effort to make him feel welcomed in their group. He still couldn’t understand why that boy, who had been hostile to him from the beginning, suddenly cared so much about such a thing… But Goro also knew that he didn’t need to understand: thanks to Ryuji, and Akira’s support as their leader, the group agreed to give him that second chance Goro knew he didn’t deserve.
Not that they trusted him, of course… Ryuji and Akira tried their best to be as friendly as possible, and while the others still quietly accepted his presence, the wariness in their eyes whenever they looked at him let Goro know that he wasn’t truly one of them—and would never be.
Not only that, but there were also Futaba and Haru. Neither of them expressed it verbally, but it was hard not to notice how Haru’s smile stiffened whenever she heard his voice, or how Futaba refused to look at his face or talk directly to him.
He didn’t blame them… But it still hurt.
That afternoon, they gathered in Akira’s bedroom to discuss their next moves. As usual, Yuuki started by sharing what new information he had.
“I’ve found two possible targets for you,” said Yuuki. “One of them is a scammer, whose allegedly ‘weight loss’ products sent quite a few people to the hospital. The other is the manager of a young singer who recently became popular online… According to her request, she’s being overworked way past her limits, and receiving close to no money in return, despite her growing success.”
Ryuji grunted to himself. “Two shitty people… no surprise.”
And no surprise that Ryuji would get so angry at that… He was that kind of person, who got angry for those who couldn’t, and tried to make things better even if by force. Goro used to dislike him, with his rude manners and loud voice… It still surprised him how quickly those opinions had changed.
“We’re doing it,” said Akira.
“I thought so.” Yuuki looked at his phone, slightly furrowing his brow. “But I should remind you that the finals begin in less than one week, so you guys won’t have much free time to deal with this if you want to do any studying.”
“I know…” Ann sighed. “And it doesn’t feel right to wait until the exams are over… Who knows what might happen to the victims until then.”
“Yeah,” said Ryuji. “But we can do it, right? It shouldn’t take much more than a day or two.”
“If we’re being optimistic,” said Makoto. “And assuming that nothing will go against our plans. And that we’ll defeat the shadows on our first try.” She paused briefly. “We might want to focus our attention in one of the shadows, to make sure we can deal with it. If we divide our attention between both, we might not be able to defeat either of them in time.”
“Can’t we just leave the studying for later?” asked Ryuji. “Stopping those guys is more important than the exams.”
“I agree,” said Ann. “And I doubt we’d be able to focus on the tests knowing that those people are suffering.”
“I’m sorry, but no,” said Makoto in a patient tone. “I want to help those people as much as you do, but I can’t allow your grades to drop any lower. Before being Phantom Thieves, you’re still students, and need to think about your future.”
Both Ryuji and Ann seemed about to protest, but before they could, Makoto added:
“That’s not negotiable.” She softened her voice. “I understand how you feel, but all we can do is plan ahead, and try to use the time we have wisely.”
They were clearly unhappy with the response, but didn’t protest again; Makoto had that kind of power over the group, like a strict but kind big sister. Still, while Goro understood her concern as one of the older Phantom Thieves, he didn’t completely disagree with those two. Who knew what could happen in one week? People were already at the hospital because of that scam, and the singer sounded desperate in her post… As they were, things could easily take a turn for the worse.
Yusuke was the one to first break the silence. “I still have another week before my exams, so perhaps I can infiltrate Mementos with Futaba and Morgana while the others study.”
“I don’t think that’s such a great idea, Inari,” said Futaba. “I mean, I’d do it, but… that means only you and Mona would do all the fighting.”
Goro bit the inside of his lip: they were ignoring his existence again… He just couldn’t tell if it was by accident or on purpose. Before he could say anything, however, Haru spoke.
“No, that’s too dangerous. Our best option is still to prioritize one of the shadows, and hope that we can face both of them as quickly as possible.” Haru offered them a reassuring smile. “But we’re just considering the worst scenario… We did this many times before, so I’m sure we can do it if we’re properly prepared.”
“I’ll try to get as much information as I can until tomorrow,” said Yuuki. “Anything that might help you find those shadows.”
“You do that, quest giver!” Futaba patted Yuuki’s head. “And we’ll make sure to end them all with an S rank!”
Her light-hearted comment seemed to clear the heavy air a little.
“Guys,” said Akira. “What Yusu said made me think… Lately, we were able to face the shadows in Mementos without much trouble.” He reached for his hair, absentmindedly playing with it. “I think we’re strong enough to split our group in two, so we can deal with both shadows as quickly as possible.”
“That’s an option,” Morgana agreed. “If we choose well, we can keep two balanced teams. I can serve as a navigator too, while Futaba takes care of the other group.”
Futaba grinned. “My team will have to do some walking, but I think we can handle it just fine.”
“Agreed,” said Makoto. “Since we’re nine in total, that means one group of four, and one of five. It would be wise to have the extra member in Futaba’s group, since she can’t fight.”
“Good point,” said Yusuke.
“We should have a healer in each party, as well,” Makoto continued. “Since Morgana will be a navigator, I’ll stay in Futaba’s group.”
“Can I join Makoto’s team?” asked Haru. “We always train together, so we should be able to fight well alongside each other.”
“I was about to suggest the same thing.” Makoto offered her a slight smile, then turned to look at Ann. “Ann, if you don’t mind it, I would like to have you on our team as well. Since Morgana is our main healer, I would appreciate your help in that aspect.”
“You can count on me!” said Ann.
“Wow!” Futaba’s expression brightened. “All girls fighting together? What a team!”
“Right?” Ann laughed. “Those shadows won’t even know what hit them!”
Ryuji and Yusuke looked at each other, exchanging brief smiles, as if coming to a silent accord.
“I’ll stay in the same team as Yusu, then,” said Ryuji. “We’re always fighting together, anyway, so it won’t be too different from usual.”
“Precisely,” said Yusuke. “And, if our leader comes with us and Morgana, we shall make quite a strong quartet.”
“Sounds good to me,” Akira smiled. “I think we have two solid teams… Does everyone agree with these formations?”
Goro looked from one of them to the other. Did they really forget…? Ryuji seemed to notice it as well, gesturing in Goro’s direction.
“Hey,” he said. “We still got one guy left.”
In a second, everyone had their eyes on Goro, as if only then realizing that he had been there from the beginning—if anything, it made him wish he had stayed forgotten.
“Ah, of course!” Akira chuckled, briefly waving his hand. “Sorry for the lapse of memory… That’s one of the downsides of being the new guy.”
Yes, he didn’t believe Akira had done that on purpose—he was a good guy, good enough to treat Goro kindly despite all the terrible things he did. He tried to return the smile, but before he could do it properly, Haru’s low voice reached his ears.
“If Akira is with the boys, that means Akechi is on our team, right…?”
Goro looked at her. Haru’s shoulders were tense, and her gaze low—it didn’t take much to understand how she felt about that situation. Next to her, Futaba looked to the side, furrowing her brow.
“I won’t go with him,” she muttered.
The room went silent. Futaba’s lower lip trembled slightly, and Yuuki placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. Haru glanced at her, then raised her head, looking at Akira.
“I’m sorry for the trouble, but I feel the same way.”
Silence again. Heavy, awkward… Goro wished he could disappear from there.
“I… understand.” Akira forced a smile. “Well, nothing has been decided yet, so we can just change the groups. Do you girls mind having me around?”
“No, it’s fine!” Ann gestured with both hands. “You’re almost an honorary member of the girls, so we’re still the strongest team! Right, Makoto?”
She looked at Makoto, as if asking for help.
“Oh…” Makoto averted her gaze. “Yes, of course.”
The awkwardness was almost painful. It was Ryuji’s turn to force a laugh.
“Is that a challenge, Panther?” He asked in a playful tone. “‘Cause I think my guys can do a better job than your team.”
Ann grinned back. “I want to see you try, Skull.”
“Oh!” Akira rubbed his hands together. “Things are starting to get interesting! Does anyone want to make a bet?”
“Losers pay a round of ramen for everyone?” suggested Ryuji.
Morgana sighed. “Why is it always ramen with you?”
Goro stayed silent, and so did the others. The Phantom Thieves were always playing around and provoking each other, but at that moment it all felt… forced. Of course they were uncomfortable with him around… Of course none of them would want to fight beside a traitor. Goro thought that, by joining them, he could do something good for a change… Try to compensate for all the terrible things he did, all the pain he caused.
As if he could…
He clenched his fists, burying his nails into his palms: he shouldn’t be there… He should never have joined them, to begin with.
“You can stay as a team of eight,” said Goro in a serious voice. “I’ll take one of the shadows on my own.”
Ryuji stared at him, wide-eyed. “Dude… that’s a stupid idea.”
“I agree,” said Morgana. “No matter how strong you are, it’s still too dangerous.”
Goro averted his gaze. “But, this way, no one needs to worry about the traitor.”
The temperature in the room seemed to drop.
“Akechi…” murmured Ryuji. “No one said that.”
You didn’t need to. Goro held back those words. Neither of them spoke another word for a long while.
“No one wants you to go alone,” Ryuji continued. “We’re just trying to come up with groups that are good for everyone.” He glanced at Akira. “Right, leader?”
“Yes,” said Akira. “If there’s any problem, you can just tell us. We’ll try to make the best teams we can.”
Goro pressed his lips into a thin line. That wasn’t the problem, and they all knew it. Still, they wouldn’t just admit that what Goro said was precisely what they all had in their minds since he joined their team. He couldn’t tell what made him feel worse: Futaba and Haru’s clear resentment, or how much the others still tried to accommodate him in a place he didn’t belong.
He sighed, feeling exhausted. “No, I’m fine with whatever you decide.” He paused, then gestured toward the stairs. “I’ll go get some fresh air.”
An obvious excuse, he knew… But he had to leave that room before accidentally making things even worse. They all had the right to feel that way about him, Goro understood that. He understood, but…
Goro left the Leblanc, exhaling as he felt the cold air outside. He stayed in place for a moment, unsure of what to do, then sat on the border of the sidewalk, crossing his arms over his knees. What a strange view it should be: a retired detective prodigy sitting on the ground, seeming tired of everything and everyone. Not that he cared about what other people thought of him by that point… His old life as Shido’s puppet was over, and he had no idea of what to do with whatever was left.
Maybe it would have been better if his cognitive self had properly finished the job. If Ryuji hadn’t found him there, barely conscious on the ground. If he hadn’t helped stop Goro’s bleeding and taken him home. If he hadn’t taken care of Goro’s injuries and allowed Goro to take care of his. If Ryuji hadn’t told him that it wasn’t too late. That he still had an option other than giving up.
If he hadn’t shown him so much kindness, regardless of all his mistakes.
Thinking better, that was the worst part of it all: deep down, he liked them. Not only Ryuji, but all of them, even the ones who openly hated him. His greatest regret was not abandoning Shido before… Not joining them when he still had a small chance of truly becoming their friend.
That thought was enough to make his throat close. He lowered his head, gritting his teeth in an attempt to ease the sharp pain in his chest.
What was he even supposed to do now…?
No matter how much he thought about it, no answer came. Not even a clue… Nothing. And maybe that was his answer: there was nothing he could do. He had made all the wrong choices since his mother’s death, and now… That miserable, empty life was just the result of it all—exactly what he deserved.
The sound of the Leblanc’s door opening made Goro raise his head. He looked over his shoulder, not surprised to see Ryuji there, looking at him.
“Hey…” he said.
Goro lowered his gaze. “What is it?”
“Well, you just left like that, so… I wanted to check if everything’s fine.”
“Do things look fine to you?”
His words were sharp, and he immediately regretted them. Yet, Ryuji didn’t mention it. He approached Goro, sitting on the sidewalk next to him.
“No, they don’t…” He observed Goro’s face for a while. “What’s wrong?”
Goro sighed. “You know already… I’m not a Phantom Thief. Even if I fight beside you, I’ll always be…” He struggled with the words, to his frustration. “I’ll never be one of you. I’ll always be the one nobody trusts, and they’re right not to! Who knows what I might do? Not even I trust myself after everything I…” His voice broke. “Fuck…”
He buried his head in his arms, breathing heavily. He wasn’t crying—he didn’t even know if he was still able to—but his eyes stung, and his mouth was dry. The sharp pain lingered in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe.
“Hey…” Ryuji moved closer to him, placing a hand on his back. “That ain’t true, okay? We all chose to give you a second chance, but you gotta understand that it ain’t easy for Futaba and Haru. It doesn’t mean that we think you’ll betray us, or anything like that… But those two have it harder than any of us.”
“Because of what I did.”
“Yeah. But you still chose us in the end, and they know it. We all know you’re trying to help.”
Goro raised his head, looking at Ryuji. “But it will never be enough, will it?”
“Akechi…”
“You don’t need to do this.” Goro interrupted him. “It’s… too late for me. Nothing I do can erase everything I…” He stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I know you just want to help, but you can’t save someone like me… It’s too late.”
Ryuji didn’t answer immediately, and for a moment, Goro thought that was it, the end of that fruitless struggle from both parts.
“I don’t mean to save you,” Ryuji said, finally. “I just wanna, y’know… be here for you. While you sort all your stuff out.”
Goro shook his head, the hint of a scoff leaving his lips. “How do I even do that?”
“To be honest, I don’t know…” he admitted. “But it can’t be worse than what you already went through, right?”
“Can’t it, really?”
To Goro’s surprise, Ryuji leaned in his direction, holding him by the shoulders, making Goro face him.
“Look…” he said. “I won’t say that the stuff you did wasn’t bad, ‘cause it was. And I don’t really blame those two for… Y’know, how they feel about you.” A short pause. “But you knew things wouldn’t be easy when you betrayed Shido for us, and you still did it… Even if you did bad things in the past, you’re trying to do better now. And we know this… Even if some of us are too hurt to get close to you, we still know.”
Goro didn’t respond, and Ryuji didn’t wait for it, soon continuing.
“I don’t know if you can compensate for what you did in the past, but… You can change things now. And you’re trying to… We all can see it.”
“It’s not that easy,” Goro muttered.
“Yeah. But, if you’re willing to try, I’ll be here for you all the way.”
Those words made a bundle of feelings seem to crush Goro’s chest from the inside. It was painful, and he couldn’t tell for sure why.
“You don’t give up easily, do you?” he said.
Ryuji smiled. “I gotta be good at something, right?”
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“Dude, c’mon… Can’t you give me some credit?”
Ryuji sighed, letting go of his shoulders. His reaction made Goro return that smile with a faint one.
“I appreciate it,” he said. “Really… It’s more than I could have asked for.”
“Don’t say stuff like that,” said Ryuji. “I know there are people who’ll never change, but… You ain’t a bad guy. And I know you’d change things if you could.”
“That’s true…” Goro lowered his eyes. “I wish I could.”
“Yeah.” Ryuji lightly patted his back. “That’s why I think you’ll be fine… Your heart is in the right place.”
Goro stayed silent. Ryuji placed too much trust in someone like him… And Goro didn’t want to make him regret it. He didn’t know if he could avoid it, though… If all his efforts wouldn’t be for nothing, and he’d end up in the same place where he started.
Yet, having someone who believed in him made Goro want to try. Even if it was painful, even if it was pointless… Even if he still couldn’t see a future for himself—much less a good one—he still wanted to give it a try, if only for the sake of that trust.
“Sakamoto…” he said.
“Hm?”
“I’m… not used to this.” He struggled with the words. “Having someone see the real me, and just accept it. This will sound pathetic, but… I never had a friend before.” Goro shrugged lightly. “A real one, at least.”
“You’ve got one now.”
Ryuji said that with no hesitation—that bluntness Goro once considered obnoxious now bringing a smile to his face. Things were always so simple with him… To the point of making Goro want to believe that things could get better, that he could become a better person… That it wasn’t too late for him, not yet.
And, at that point in his life, it was everything he needed.