Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Mylo said it should have been bigger. I’m not sure how much bigger it could have been, but he was probably just saying that to get under my skin. You know how it goes with him, always claiming he could make it bolder and faster and betterer than everyone else. He’s so annoying.

And I don’t know if he was right, but I do know that it put a smile on my face to watch the explosions bloom on the horizon. The greenish, pinkish smoke was painted reddish by the giant blood moon in the sky, making it all click together in perfect symphony.

Does that analogy even work? I’ve never been to a symphony, so I’m only guessing. Maybe I gotta attend one one of these days and I’ll find out! Ha.

Anyway, I asked him how, and Mylo didn’t answer. How could I have possibly outdone myself? Done better than knocking over the entire tower of Piltover’s High Council!?

It started with kind of a low, rumbly sound — after the initial boom, of course. The foundation of the building didn’t know what to do with itself! I guess they don’t build ‘em to withstand a gigaton of dynamite hahahaha. The sheer force of the shear forces sure shook her up, making all the concrete and stone and steel inside get all flimsy and wobbly.

That was when the building decided to fall down, and you can’t exactly change a building’s mind once she’s already decided to fall! You just gotta sit back and let it happen. So that’s what I did, setting my little rocket launcher Fishbones down on the panel beside me and gawking forward to watch and see the sights.

“Is that it?” Mylo asked me.

I shushed him. “Shush! It’s not over yet.”

The chemtech from the blast had produced smoke with all these pretty colors — those greens and pinks I mentioned — but the dust from the building crumbling was just gray and red. It almost looked like the thing was bleeding, spitting out these streams of brittle, broken things wherever the seams were coming undone. But even from my perch all the way across the city, from a mile or more, it was plain to see that the tower was in pain. Maybe not as much pain as me, but pretty fucking close.

And more soon. Oh, so much more.

“Oh, shit, your shoulder!” Mylo said suddenly.

I tried to turn around and look at what he was staring at, but a jolt of electric fire stopped me. My entire spine was screaming ‘hey, doofus, don’t do that!’ . And that was how I learned that I’d dislocated my fucking shoulder.

Am I saying ‘fuck’ too much? Sorry. It won’t happen again.

Where was I? Oh yeah, my shoulder. I don’t know if it was my adrenaline, or all the purple chemicals running through my blood, but whatever state my arm was in, it only hurt whenever I tried to turn my head. I didn’t really get punished for just looking straight ahead, and that was fine by me. After all, we had some more explosions to watch!

Part of me wished I’d been a little bit closer, could have heard more of it happening. And not just the steel and plaster bending and busting apart, but all the screams of the people realizing that they had been thoroughly fucked with! That we the undercity weren’t sitting around to let the Pilties trample us anymore.

Nope. All I heard instead was a distant rumble, and the quiet creak of the old cannery building shifting ever so slightly in the mild night wind. That breeze hadn’t been strong enough to take into account when I aimed the missile, ‘cuz the hextech launchy thingy was so much stronger, but the wind was still enough to make the old place feel haunted. A little groan here and there, or the sound of air whistling ‘cuz there’s a little hole in the wall or whatever. It was lonely.

Even Mylo had shut up after he saw the council building start to finally come down. There were fires inside, and giant chunks of stone — or whatever it’s made of — falling away from the outside, careening down to splatter everyone below.

Not that there ought to have been a lotta people hanging around. It was late, the moon was high, and a bunch of the dumb Pilties like going to bed as soon as the Sun tells them to. Heh. I guess that’s topside for ya — Everyone loves being told what to do!

But then, finally, after I dunno — five minutes? An hour? Who gives a shit — After waiting forever, when the building had mostly fallen, that’s when I started hearing someone crying. It wasn’t the far-off sound of the city though. It was someone coming up the ramp in the cannery, marching up to my perch, and it didn’t sound like my sister.

“It’s her,” Mylo pointed out.

“Yeah, no shit,” I told him.

“Well? Do something!”

“Like what!?” I asked. “My shoulder’s busted to shit, and I don’t got any more ammo.”

“She wants you dead.”

I nodded slowly, trying to avoid getting that arcing fire from my frayed nerves again. “I mean, yeah. Do ya blame her? Whole city’s gonna want me gone now, and they’ll prolly send the enforcers over any minute now.”

“She’ll tell them where you are,” Mylo insisted.

I nodded again, and that time I was less successful at avoiding the pain. A spasm of torture prickled at my back, and I gasped in the most pathetic way.

That was when they heard me. Violet and Caitlyn on the ramp, making their way out of the cannery. My sister was holding her girlfriend with one arm, and carrying the good hexglove in her other. I made a mental note that Vi must have abandoned the dead hexglove somewhere inside, which meant that I could probably go back for it, but now wasn’t the time.

Caitlyn turned up to look at me, noticing me after I gasped, and there were tears in her eyes.

“You!?” she said all sourly. “What have you done!?”

I pointed forward to the horizon with my left arm. That’s the one that hadn’t been dislocated. “Have a look yourself!” I said.

Even for a dense Piltie, it was impossible to avoid. There was no getting around the fact that the city’s skyline had changed dramatically, and a giant fucking cloud of dust was billowing up where the tower had once been. Even better, a hundred tiny fires sprinkled up all around wherever the debris had landed. Ground zero was a total wasteland, with the flames and their smoke telling a story for the ages!

I think, in that moment, I really wanted Caitlyn to scream. Like, I knew it wasn’t her style, but I needed the payoff of hearing someone cry out in pain from witnessing what I’d done, and she was the closest I was gonna get to that.

But Caitlyn was dumbfounded, and I mean that literally. It was like she didn’t even know how to speak anymore. Her jaw fell slack, but no words came out, nor any other form of verbal protest. She just looked at what I had done and watched.

We all did that for a while. Me, Mylo, Violet and Caitlyn. We just sat there and watched the ashes burn, not knowing what else to do. That image is always gonna stick with me, I’m pretty sure. The red sky had gotten so much redder, and it wasn’t just ‘cuz my eyes were scorched from all the sadness and explosion. The night was legitimately crimson in color.

My sister was the first to move. She pushed against Caitlyn’s shoulder and whispered something that I probably wasn’t meant to hear. “We should go,” she said. “Try and find out if we can help.”

The enforcer girl shook her head and pushed back. “With our injuries, the very last place we need to be is in the fray of noise and danger. Besides, we couldn’t ever get there in time.”

“In time for what?” I asked, raising my voice to make sure they knew that I had heard them.

Caitlyn turned to look at me again with an evil scowl carved into her face. “You know very well what!” she snapped. “To pull people out from the burning wreckage, and salvage anything at all from this fantastic mess you’ve made!”

To my side, Mylo was giggling, but he didn’t have anything to say. He didn’t have to. I already knew why he thought it was funny. Honestly, I wanted to be there with him, to outwardly mock those who had made us so little, but I couldn’t.

Even if all of topside deserved to burn, to writhe in a torture of their own creation, it wasn’t a laughing matter. It fucking sucked that they had pushed us so far, and so hard that they didn’t leave us with any choice. All that pressure, of course it was gonna blow! And it just had to be me. Of course.

I think Mom named me after an ingredient used in paint, but I might as well have been named after a powder keg. Exploding when the heat got too high, or the pressure too much, that was my destiny. She jinxed me. Every constraint I had been born into was just another piece of the bomb waiting to go off.

And now it had. So now what?

“Powder?” my sister called.

I looked down at her, with her stupid big eyes looking up at me like a puppy. It was a good trick — one that I’ve used a lot! — but I wasn’t in the mood.

She called my name again, and started advancing across to where I was perched. “Your arm,” she said. “You’re hurt.”

“Like you care.”

“I do, Powder! I do.”

The police girl grasped at my sister, trying to change her mind. “Leave her, Vi! If she’s done that to herself, then she very well deserves it! We ought to finish the job.”

Violet stopped dead, turning around to snap at her. “Oh, yeah!? Whatever happened to ending the cycle of violence, huh? Or does that only count when you’re the one that’s made the last move?”

“Vi, she leveled an entire building!” Caitlyn pointed out. Ha. “We don’t even know if there were people in there! Sometimes the council — my mother could have — if they were having a late meeting, then we have no idea how much death and destruction she’s caused! You can’t sit by and let that stand!”

Vi wasn’t having any of it. She snapped back at Caitlyn. “You mean like how topside’s sat by and let everything go in the undercity!? Or is that different somehow? Huh?”

Well, score one for my sister, I guess. Maybe she just hated seeing me hurt, or maybe she was losing her mind. It sure pissed off the Piltie, though.

“Vi, please don’t choose her over me. I won’t be able to protect you.”

“I’m not,” Violet said. “Just because I’m choosing Powder in this moment doesn’t mean I’m rejecting you.”

She had made it to my side a moment later, and her greasy fingers quickly found my shoulder. I expected it to hurt again, but it didn’t feel like much at all. Everything on that side had gotten so numb. She looked me up and down, making her assessment.

“It doesn’t look broken,” Vi told me. “Just dislocated.”

“Whoopdeedoo,” I mocked. “Thank fuck for small miracles, am I right?”

Caitlyn stood by watching as Violet worked on my shoulder. There was a lot of confusion in her face, but it started to blend into admiration after a while. The enforcer girl seemed genuinely impressed that Vi knew how to set bones, or mend people, which shouldn’t have been surprising. You’re not gonna get very far as a brawler unless you’ve got a good idea on how to put a bone back where it’s supposed to be.

“How’s that feel?” Violet asked.

I didn’t know what she was referring to. Nothing felt like anything anymore, and I was scared to turn my head in that direction.

“I dunno. Fine?”

“You’re sure?”

“No, Vi, I’m not fucking sure!” I started to cry. A blurble of purple washed over my vision, with these stupid pink tears I have, and I could feel my lip wanting to do that tremolo thing that sad people do.

Violet stepped in closer and wrapped her arms around me. Now, that I could feel. It wasn’t warm, or soft, or any of the things that hugs are supposed to be. It was kinda rough actually, and cold, and slimy from where her jacket was all dirty and sweaty. But I didn’t care. Even with as bad of a hug as it was, I never wanted it to end.

Mylo tried to convince me otherwise. He said a bunch of incredibly rude things that I won’t repeat here, but I’m sure you can imagine them.

“What’re you gonna do?” I asked when it seemed like Violet was ready to let go. “The cops’re gonna be here any minute.”

“Is that true?” She turned to Caitlyn. “How much time do we have before the enforcers get here?”

“I don’t know, Vi. I’ve never had cause to estimate a response time to something this far away from the precinct. If they’re coming at all, it may be an hour yet before they’ve had time to put the team together and make the trek.”

“Really?”

Caitlyn shrugged and gnashed her teeth angrily. “Well, I would imagine they’re all hands on deck with the tower that fell! So yes, Vi. Really!”

“Lucky fucker,” Mylo teased me. Though I couldn’t see where he was standing, so I didn’t get a chance to snap back.

And then Violet let go of me and sat down next to my rocket launcher, inspecting it like it was one of the little grenades I used to hang on our bed frame. Back when things were so much simpler, but I didn’t even know how good I had it.

“What’s this one called?” she asked. “Are you still naming them?”

I scoffed. Duh. “What? Like some kinda child? Is that what you think I am!?”

“It’s not — No, that’s not what I’m saying. You’re not a child, Powder, and I don’t think that you are. Gods, I’m so sorry I gave you that impression before, back when I found you the first time.”

I nodded slowly, noting that moving my head didn’t seem to hurt as much anymore. Whatever my sister had done to my shoulder had helped a lot, or maybe it was that damned purple tonic crawling through my skin.

A vision of Violet and Caitlyn injecting me with Shimmer flashed in front of my eyes, but I knew it was a lie. It had to be. No way they had access to Shimmer. Not like that! No, it must have been Silco’s doctor. Still, it didn’t take away the bitter feeling left in my gut. Their mocking faces haunted me, laughing as I lay strapped down and tied up like some kind of fish about to be deboned. Sure, just cut me up and rip all my insides out, and sell me to the highest bidder!

I knew it was Silco’s fault, ultimately. The mad man couldn’t just let me die. None of them could. Not him, nor Ekko, nor the doctor, nor now my sister.

Which made Caitlyn unique in that regard. She knew that I didn’t have anything good left to give the world, and I knew it too. But that didn’t mean I’d grant her the satisfaction of admitting out loud that she was right! No fucking way.

I turned to Violet and smiled pathetically. “Fishbones. His name’s Fishbones.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Vi!” Caitlyn interrupted. “Are you seriously indulging her!?”

“Yeah, Cait, I guess I am.”

“But—”

“But what?” Violet huffed. “What’s she gonna do, huh? Does it even look like she’s got any fight left in her? No. What’s done is done, Cait, and we can’t take any of that back. I don’t know what’s coming next, so I wanna spend this last moment with her.”

The implication irritated me, but I let my protest go unsaid. Since Violet seemed willing to keep defending me from her girlfriend, I felt like I needed to let her. She was making much better headway than my sassy retort would have done.

To my surprise, Caitlyn took the opportunity to approach our perch. She didn’t have handcuffs, or a weapon, or anything. Just that scruffy, confused topsider look on her face. But it was softening, and I was trying my hardest not to immediately lash out at her.

“Kill her,” Mylo suggested. “She wants to do the same to you.”

“No,” I whispered back.

Violet looked up at me. “What?”

So of course I said, “I wasn’t talking to you.”

Mylo scurried around and got up in my face, distracting me from whatever response my sister had made after that. “Fuck, Jinx, you’ve gotten soft! Caitlyn’s right there, and you know how to do it!”

“I know,” I told him, “But it wouldn’t be the same. Doesn’t mean anything if I’m the one choosing it.”

Then I saw my sister again, looking at me with that sickeningly sweet worry embedded in her eyes. “You don’t have to make a decision right now, Powder. Whatever the future holds, I just want to be with you right now.”

There was a heavy lump in my throat as I swallowed. I wanted to tell Violet that I didn’t believe her, or that her girlfriend wouldn’t let her stay with me, but nothing was coming out.

Caitlyn picked up Fishbones from the panel beneath us and examined its compartments. Then she found the hexgem, that little blue ball she had been searching for this whole time, and got my sister roped into looking for. And she took it out from its slot and pocketed it, frowning the entire time as she did so.

“I knew this would happen,” Caitlyn muttered. “It was only a matter of time — How dangerous this technology is in the wrong hands!”

“Like her hands are any better!” Mylo mocked.

I agreed with him, but I didn’t say it out loud. That was gonna start a whole other argument, and I didn’t have the energy anymore. All of my adrenaline was starting to fade, and I could feel a wave of sleepiness hitting me.

Violet leaned over her girlfriend and grabbed my launcher. “So, topside developed this technology?”

“Only the power source,” Caitlyn corrected her. “Everything was…”

“Me.”

“But why, Jinx? Why?”

I shrugged, wincing for a moment as a pinched nerve flared up. “Why not?”

That got Caitlyn’s eyes rolling. She glanced off at the horizon again, unwilling to even look at me anymore. “I can see it now, how you two are sisters. I didn’t think so at first, but it’s becoming quite a great deal more apparent with time.”

Neither Violet or I answered. Caitlyn probably hadn’t intended that as a compliment, but I couldn’t help taking it as one anyway. I’d been trying to be like my sister my whole life, so it was oddly reassuring to hear someone compare us so strongly. I bit my tongue and waited for her to continue, trying to avoid guessing at what she was gonna say next. Or maybe it was just the exhaustion getting to me.

“You both are so impulsive!” Caitlyn continued. “Jumping into everything without considering the costs, and jumping to conclusions about the way other people feel.”

“Yeah, well,” Violet told her, “It’s not exactly like we’ve had the luxury to sit around and deliberate! Sometimes the streets don’t give you a choice.”

Caitlyn shook her head. “So you turn around and take others’ choice from them as well? In what world is that fair?”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, Vi, that I heard about the unsanctioned raid you goaded my friend into performing. You and he just barged in and forced everyone to comply under penalty of death!? Is that your idea of justice?”

Violet shrugged. “You said it best. They’d gone too far. Had to be dealt with.”

Mylo nudged me on my good shoulder. “You gonna weigh in, or just let goody-two-shoes walk all over your sister?” But I ignored him.

Caitlyn set Fishbones down and started pacing around the perch, her stupid anxious energy needing her to do something instead of just sitting there. “Well. All those people are dead now. In the factory, and under the council tower. Did that solve anything? Did it move the needle at all?”

I muttered under my breath. Not low enough for Caitlyn and Violet to miss it though. “We showed them.”

“Oh, how’s that, Jinx? Showed them what? That you have the power to destroy anything you want to!?”

“You really wanna know what I think?”

“I’m sure I don’t,” Caitlyn admitted, “But let’s have at it.”

So I gave it to her. “I think you’re full of shit! You make up all these rules topside about what matters, or what’s ‘decent’, or what ‘proper’ people are supposed to do and not do, and then ya decide that anyone who doesn’t toe the line and do what they’re told is a bad person! Even if that person didn’t agree to follow the rules in the first place. It’s our way or the highway.”

“It’s called living in a society, Jinx. You be nice to people so that they’ll be nice back to you, and everyone wins!” 

“Oh, has everyone won!?” I mocked. “Is that what you see looking down in the Lanes — A chasm full of winners?”

“No, of course not. The system’s obviously not perfect, and there’s a great many ways that the world has failed your people, but that doesn’t mean you can go around destroying what other people have! What they’ve made of themselves…”

“Why not?” I asked again, but more serious. “Your side’s already done it to mine a thousand times! Locking Violet away, killing our parents, everything!”

Caitlyn quit pacing around and looked at me, a sudden bitchy sadness filling her eyes. “I know, Jinx. And what’s been done to you is wrong.”

“Then who’s gonna fix it, huh!? If it’s so wrong, who’s gonna make it right?”

She shook her head and bit her lip. “It’s complicated. I’ve tried to figure it out, but there are more factors at play than you know. And I can definitely assure you that your actions tonight will have worsened things. My mother will be furious.”

“So, same story as always, then,” I said. “Should’ve just rolled over and taken the lumps?”

Violet reached over and grabbed my hand. “Please, Powder, just hear her out. Then maybe we’ll finally get somewhere.”

“No, Vi. I don’t wanna get anywhere with an enforcer.”

Caitlyn leered at me. “Not that it matters now, but I was let go from the force a week ago. That coward Marcus saw to it himself. Said it was for my own safety after you nearly killed me on Progress Day. Remember that!?”

Violet gasped. “She did what!?”

“Rigged a building to blow, and lured us inside. Then mocked us for being stupid enough to want to help a little girl in a burning building! Half a dozen of my comrades died in that blast.”

Violet looked at me with fresh tears in her eyes. “You did this? Why?”

So I shrugged and tried to make up an excuse, but the answer felt so pathetic. I’d only wanted to show everyone around me that I wasn’t weak, that I could see a mission through to its end. And that was the same thing Vi used to say, right? That she could handle a real job? But no, that sounded stupid now.

“I dunno, Vi. There was this guy in the city who’d invented something that sounded cool, and he wasn’t sharing any of it. So I figured hey, what’s yours is mine, right?”

Mylo smiled at me evilly. “You liked it! Killing those people. It’s fun for you.”

“Yeah. So what?”

But Mylo didn’t say anything else. He just stared with those creepy, scratchy eyes of his, drilling into my skull and driving me mad.

Caitlyn pulled the hexgem from her pocket and showed it to Vi. “It’s this. That’s what she was there for.”

Violet looked at me with a question mark on her face. “That’s it?”

I nodded. Duh.

“So much fear and doubt over something so little. And look what destruction it’s capable of! Something like this, it shouldn’t even exist.”

My sister, confused, asked if it could be destroyed.

And Caitlyn shook her head. “I doubt it.”

“Then what?” Violet asked. “What’s the next step?”

Surprisingly, Caitlyn was kind of at a loss. “If you ask me, we’d fling it as far as we can into the depths of the sea, and let no one ever recover it. But, knowing the council, they’ll likely vote to have these mass-produced and put in the hands of every half-baked enforcer we’ve got.”

“Which would be the wrong hands,” Mylo added. Sheesh, dude, I know. You don’t gotta tell me again, alright? Ugh.

Um, so, anyway, Violet went on like, “Cait, they’ll tear the entire undercity apart!”

And Caitlyn’s all, “Do you think I don’t know that? But, may I remind you, YOUR SISTER JUST BOMBED AN CITY ENTIRE DISTRICT!”

Violet flinched, and I kinda got the idea that maybe it was the first time her girlfriend had ever yelled at her! But then Vi picked herself back up. “So, but what if we tell your council that Silco’s dead? He, uh… We’ll put the gun back in his hand, and say he killed himself. He fired the rocket that Jinx built, then ended his own life. Then that’s it, right? Case closed?”

Caitlyn’s eyes wandered to me again, and her brows were angry as fuck. “As if this one would ever go for a plan like that. You saw how she lionized the old man!”

“Powder?”

Oh. My turn to talk? Okay. Um. “Do you guys really hate him that much?”

“Yes!” Caitlyn snapped immediately.

But Violet sang a different tune. “It’s not about how I feel about him anymore, Powder. I just want to protect you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

No.

If Violet or Caitlyn shared this lie, then everyone topside was gonna think my dad was a coward. Like all of them are, but worse! Wasn’t gonna do anything to earn the people of Zaun any respect. I couldn’t have them thinking Silco was too chickenshit to go on with his life after what he’d done. He died protecting me, protecting what was most important to him, and that’s the least cowardly thing there is!

I stood up from my seat on the perch and looked out at the skyline, noting that a bunch of the fires seemed to have gone out already.

Violet reached forward, trying to grab my hand, but missed by an inch. “Wait! Where are you going!? No, Powder, don’t go!”

“Caitlyn’s right, Vi. I’m not letting you spread lies about my dad.”

“See, Vi, I told you.”

“No, Powder, listen! We can still figure this out!”

“Well, was I right, or was I right?” a new voice said. “Everyone betrays us.”

A freaky chill ran down my spine as I looked up to see the scratchy ghost of Silco standing there. Fuck. No, noo, nooooo. No fucking way. I don’t need this. I didn’t… 

Mylo was standing next to him, and he looked suddenly so small. So little. For years, he’d been the giant pain in my ass voice in my head, but now I could feel there was going to be an even bigger one.

“No!” I cried, and my vision got purple all over again. “Not you too! I can’t do this.”

“Oh, grow up, Jinx. I should have told you that more when I was alive. Before you killed me.”

“No! No, no this isn’t real, you’re not here.”

“Who?” Violet wrapped her arms around me. “What are you seeing?”

“She thinks you’re crazy, girl. She doesn’t understand you like I did.”

“No, shut up shup shup shut up SHUT UP!” I begged.

My sister only squeezed me tighter, trying to understand what was happening. Heh. I bet she was pretty close to the money. But I was fully losing my mind, ya know?

Then Caitlyn comes around and thinks I’m a big, dirty faker, so she’s like “Vi, what the hell? Is this some sort of farce!?”

Violet got pretty pissed off about that. She’s all, “No, Cait, it’s not a game! My sister needs help!”

I think that’s when it clicked for the rich girl. When my sister was holding onto me for dear life, afraid that my brain was turning into a puddle from this stupid fucking drug they pumped me full of, Caitlyn finally understood that I was hurting.

So she said, “I think I might know someone. Well, a place, rather.”

“What? Stillwater?” Violet scoffed. “Powder wouldn’t survive a day in there! You’ve seen what it’s like.”

“No,” Caitlyn told her, “Not that. It’s a magical place with the best drugs, and the best white padded cells, and the bestestestest set of rules that everybody’s gotta follow every fucking day. Day in, day out, it’s all the same at the Pembroke Asylum for girls who are deeply fucked in the head.”

And my dumb sister was like, “Hey Powder, I’m signing you up for therapy! You’re gonna love the shit out of it.”

So anyway, yeah. That’s how I ended up here.”

Jinx returned to her chair and sat back down as the rest of the patients awarded her with a wash of soft applause. It was the customary volume, the same that had been afforded after each of the preceding shares.

Their instructor addressed the room as the ovation died down. “Does anyone have anything that they would like to say to Miss Jinx?”

A blonde girl of about the same age raised her hand. “Me.”

“Lady Crownguard? You may speak.”

“Oh, it’s just Lux,” she said. “I told you all already, my family doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“My apologies, Lady Lux,” the instructor corrected. “You may take your turn now.”

The blonde girl brightened up, revealing her giant, jewel-blue eyes. “Excellent! Thank you, as I do not intend to squander this opportunity. Jinx, your share inspired me!”

“It did?”

“Yes!” Lux continued. “As you stood there telling your story, I could feel my heart moving to the rhythm. What a beautiful light emanates from you! And I’m not just speaking of those sparkling, springberry eyes of yours! But, of course, those captivated me as well.”

A mischievous grin spread across Jinx’s face. “You’re not so bad looking yourself, Blondie.”

At that, the instructor stood up and sounded her whistle. “Girls, that’s enough! If there are no serious comments remaining, then that will be all for today’s sharing session.”

“But, I haven’t finished!” Lux interjected. “I haven’t yet told Jinx how funny her jokes are, nor how pretty her hair is swinging through the air as she dances around to tell her tale!”

The instructor sounded the whistle again. “Lady Lux, that is enough! And everyone else, back to your rooms. The show’s over, folks.”

Jinx flashed a wink at the blonde girl. “See ya tomorrow!”

Lux grinned feverishly, and tittered as the instructor pushed her along. “Not if I see you first!”

Chapter Text

“So, what’s your deal?” Jinx asked the blonde girl sitting across from her at breakfast. “You don’t exactly strike me as the ‘crazy’ type.”

Lux looked up from her food with a wide smile. “Oh! Right. Sometimes I forget my reputation doesn’t precede me in these parts of the world. Alas, we can’t all be Jinx, the loose cannon of Piltover. Oh, but actually, you should know that they don’t like to use the C-word in here! It’s disparaging.”

Without asking for clarification, Jinx returned to her measley plate of gruel. It was a sloppy concoction of pale grains with a scant few slices of fresh fruit on the side. Pretty far from exciting, but maybe that was the point. The doctors wanted to break her down, wanted to prove that Jinx had lost her marbles. That way they could pick up the pieces and build her into the type of person the Pilties respected. A nice, honorable, not-at-all criminal woman.

Jinx was grumpier than usual. Not in a rebellious or hateful way, but in the kind that comes from PMS’ing or nursing a hangover, and having just a little less patience for the world around you. It was that itch crawling in her skin, and the subtle feeling that her internal organs were liable to fail unless she got another dose.

Just a single drop of Shimmer was likely to be enough, right? That’s all that Silco ever needed! But, then again, the old man hadn’t blasted his entire body and pulverized his internal organs, had he? No, Jinx was going to need a lot more thorough attention.

But it wasn’t like she could get her drugs on the inside. The institute’s orderlies and whitecoated management were giving her a different brand of poison — something they had the gall to call “real medicine”. It was a spiteful term, malignant towards any possibility of the undercity developing their own technologies, but Jinx had to hope for her own sake that the “real medicine” would keep her stapled together.

Meanwhile, Lux was nonplussed. She continued her spiel. “Oh, but you’d have learned about the C-word soon enough. Ahem — In the Asylum, the problems we have don’t define us, and that’s the very reason why they can be overcome! Because we’re more than just the complications we share.”

“Uh-huh,” Jinx grumbled. “You reading all that off a poster, or what? ‘Cuz that’s sure what it sounds like.”

“Yes! Well, no,” Lux said. “Not reading. Reciting . They pinned one to the door of my room, and it’s all I see when I lie in bed.”

Jinx stabbed at her food again to avoid taking a turn in the conversation. She could see the ghosts of Mylo and Silco sitting across from her, each having chosen a seat adjacent to the blonde girl. They were biding their time, waiting for the perfect moment to snipe with their horrid remarks about how much of a failure Jinx was.

She just wished that they would move on already, to wherever it was that people went after the afterlife. In times like this, Jinx asked herself why the ghosts only ever haunted her and nobody else, but no satisfactory answers came to mind. It wasn’t fair, but she did her best to ignore the phantoms and every ghastly intention they held.

“Speaking of which,” Lux continued, “I’m sure they’ll put up a poster in your room too! It’s step one of the Asylum admitting they don’t have control over us, and you seem like the uncontrollable type.”

Jinx looked up from her food. “How do ya mean?”

“Well, if they decorate your room with nice, motivational literature, then they can report to your patron that they’re doing everything they can to ameliorate your illness!”

“Oh.”

Lux leaned forward, lowering her voice as she explained, “‘Cuz I’m not crazy either. They’ve only put me in here to deal with my curse since my family can’t bear the sight of looking at me. Obviously, I should have gone to a Demacian containment cell like all the other afflicted do, but it’d make the Crownguards look bad! Nobody recognizes me here in Piltover, so the family can’t be slandered.”

“Right.”

“Anyway,” Lux said, “I liked your story yesterday! Though, I’m curious, how much of it was fabricated?”

“None of it. I’m not a liar.”

“Interesting. That’s peculiar, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“I would have thought some dishonesty was a necessary trait for someone in your — ah — profession. Is that an accurate assessment?”

“You don’t know me,” Jinx muttered. “So stop acting like it.”

Lux hunched over the rest of the way, and rested her head in her hands. Her jewel bright eyes glimmered as she watched Jinx eat.

“I think I’m going to like you,” she said. “You sound smart enough to help me bust us out of here! Oh, and speaking of which, did they take away all your bombs when the brought you in here? Because those could sure come in handy right about now!”

Jinx rolled her eyes. “I’ll just make more.”

“Oh! Excellent. Very excellent. I can see how you and I are going to be great partners by the end of this.”

“Hey, Lux? That is your name, right?”

“Yes! Lux, short for Luxanna. Although, only the uptight types and well-to-dos ever called me that, as if a person isn’t worth referring to if they don’t possess a full name. Say, is ‘Jinx’ short for something?”

“Nope. Just means I’m a jinx.”

“Oh, then you’re lucky! ‘Crownguard’ doesn’t really match me anymore, and it can be quite a challenge to escape a name that doesn’t fit you.”

Jinx winced, but ignored giving the obvious retort. “Hey, Lux, why do you wanna get out of here so bad? All they’ve got outside is pain.”

“No, I don’t think that’s true! The world is full of bright splendor and magic. Fireworks, rainbows, sunshine and daisies, and a thousand other happy things!”

“And war,” Jinx said, “And loss, and rules, and gray, and—”

“Jinx! You can’t focus on that. It’s letting them win.”

“Who?”

Lux leaned down low again, whispering, “The kings and queens of these lands. The ones who would force us to fit their blandest plans of carefully practiced mediocrity. When we bow down and conform, they win.”

“Well,” Jinx chuckled bitterly, “I already killed all the kings and queens of Piltover. Or weren’t you listening to my share yesterday?”

Lux nodded. “It’s a good start, but it’d be a waste if this is where your story ends. That’s why we’re getting out of here!”

Jinx pushed an empty food tray to the side and stared deeply into the blonde girl’s eyes. “Is that so? Ya don’t think I owe it to myself to give therapy a chance? What if I’m actually… broken, or different, and not how I’m supposed to be?”

“Do you feel broken?”

“All the time!”

“Oh.” Lux withdrew and started drumming her fingers on the table. “Well, that’s a wrinkle for sure, but nothing we can’t smoothen out! I’m quite convinced that the world needs to see your light.”

“They already did. Decided I’m a jinx.”

“But, look at you — you’re owning it!”

Jinx tilted her head, confused.

Lux continued. “The way I see it, that label on anyone else would’ve weighed them down, but you’ve turned it around and used it to spite the rulers! That’s gotta count for something.”

A small smile started to break on Jinx’s face. “Maybe they should pin you to the walls. You’ll be my motivational poster!”

“Oh? I’m very flattered, but I don’t want to be flattened.”

“No? Well, if you change your mind, I know a guy who makes hammers.”

“You’re funny, Jinx.”

“You seem to be the only one here who thinks so,” Jinx said. “Nobody else will even look at me.”

“Oh, that? Don’t take it personally. Most of them have learned to be slow on the uptake with new inmates. I’m sure you’ll have loads of friends in no time.”

“What about you, Blondie? What makes you so bold?”

Lux looked away, blushing, and started playing with her hair. “I just think you’re neat!”

“A likely story,” Jinx chuckled. “Wait, what is your story? How come your folks think you’re cursed?”

“Getting right to the big stuff?” Lux asked. “Alright. First, I had the misfortune of being born with all kinds of magic running through my blood, which would have been bad enough on its own. But then I kind of sorta helped out with a rebellion or two, and a prison break that let loose a thousand mages on the lands!”

“Well, shit. You might be crazier than I am!”

Lux shrugged, staring at Jinx with half-lidded eyes. “They were being held against their will, and accused of something which I don’t believe should be a crime. So, no, I think history will eventually be on my side in the matter.”

“Which is?”

“Being born with magic is the most beautiful thing there is! And it shouldn’t be kept away in a box.”

“Oh.”

“Wait, Jinx, hold on. Would you like to see a magic trick?”

“I dunno. Aren’t they gonna send us back to our rooms in a minute.”

“Look!” Lux said, thrusting her hand up in front of Jinx’s face. “Watch this.”

A pulse of golden energy rippled through the girl’s skin. In a weird way, it reminded Jinx of the effect that Shimmer had on people, but it was almost the exact opposite in terms of visual appeal. Jinx was immediately and entirely transfixed by the yellow light.

And then it ended. Lux pulled her hands back and hid them under the table. “Shh…! They don’t like it when I do that. It riles up the other patients.”

“That was magic?”

“Of course, you dork! What else would it be?”

“I dunno,” Jinx said. “There’s not a lot of it around here except for hextech.”

“Well that’s a very different thing,” Lux explained. “My special skill is having the power to manipulate light itself in almost any way I wish! Pretty neat, huh? I bet your city’s hexed technology can’t do that.”

“Not really. It’s more about pushing and lifting things.”

“Ha! I didn’t think so.”

Jinx found herself at a loss for anything else to say. The prospect of a magical girl sitting in front of her should have been enough to kick her spirits into high gear, but the oppressive setting of the medical institute was making it hard to be happy about anything. Even now, as they talked, she could see an orderly preparing to kick them out of the mess hall.

“Hey, Luxie,” Jinx said, “I think they’re gonna send us back in a minute.”

“Oh, I like that! ‘Luxie’? Wait, what room are you in?”

“Does it matter? S’not like they’re gonna let ya come for a visit.”

“Don’t worry! What management can’t see can’t hurt them.”

Jinx squinted, not appreciating the subtext, then shook her head. “As soon as I can find some paint, it’s gonna be dead obvious — Second floor, third door on the right, everyone’ll know it belongs to Jinx!”

“Ooh,” Lux cooed. “An inventor and an artist? I’ve hit the jackpot!”

“Heh. I wouldn’t say that, but thanks. Wait, why? What room’d they put you in?”

Lux batted her eyes playfully, giggling, “It doesn’t matter. I haven’t been using it for months.”

“How?”

“Shhh… Don’t tell anyone! Remember what I said about not seeing and not hurting?”

Jinx stared at her in a mix of admiration and consternation. “Ya know, you’re something else.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a victimless crime, right? My choice to wander the halls during off hours isn’t troubling anyone. I’m just scouting around the building for cracks in the walls and that sort of thing.”

“I dunno how they haven’t caught you yet,” Jinx said, “But it’s gonna happen one of these days. And I dunno if I wanna be associated with someone like that.”

“Pfft, what?” Lux scoffed. “You’re serious? I thought you were all ra-ra about breaking the rules!”

“Yeah. Usually.”

“So what’s wrong?”

Jinx pushed away from the table and stood up from her seat. “Look, you seem nice and funny, or whatever, but I don’t wanna get tricked right now. My head’s hurting too much from everything, and my skin itches and my heart wants to explode, so I’m just gonna go back to my room.”

Lux’s brief moment of panic switched to a coy smile. “If you insist. Get some rest, Jinxie.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

The door behind Jinx shut slowly and somewhat softly as she returned from the eating hall. Of all the mirthless places to be, this bedroom was the worst she’d ever seen. Every inch of its walls had been whitewashed to the most boring degree possible, as if to drain away every ounce of creative energy she could ever possess.

The place was so dreadfully dull and repetitive that Jinx wondered if it had been made entirely by automatons with hoses of bleach and plaster. What she wouldn’t give for a single pencil, or paint crayon, or anything with which to scribble along its pristine surfaces!

Jinx flopped down in a white bed amid even whiter sheets, and tried to focus on the tactile sensation — anything to distract from her chemical discombobulation. Beneath her, the layers of bedding were fairly soft, but not so delicate that she would drown in pools of her own sweat. Beyond that, the duvet cover was plushy and plenty warm enough, which was an unnecessary extravagance in a place like this. The bedroom was being artificially preserved at some middle of the road, doctor-prescribed temperature where the air hardly felt like anything at all.

It was all too clean, too perfect, too sterile, and altogether too Piltovan. Somehow, even in parody, Jinx had never imagined the topsiders living in dwellings as overmanaged and boring as this.

Worse, without a reliable method of entertaining herself or tracking the passage of time, each passing minute could have been an hour or vice versa. So Jinx’s life in the little white box became an eternity, and every moment that transpired was a hard-won battle for her sanity. It almost would have been easier to simply sleep the hours away, but the last thing Jinx needed was for her nightmares to retake control.

A soothing, gray voice called out. She didn’t have to look up to know it was Silco’s. “ You liked her, didn’t you? That blonde from the café.”

“Pfft. No I didn’t. You don’t know what I like.”

“Jinx, please,” he said, “Just because you never told me doesn’t mean I never paid attention. There were others who stole your affections. It’s been like this before.”

Jinx turned over in the bed and wrapped a pillow around her head. With her mouth muffled, she muttered, “Leave me alone! I don’t wanna talk to you right now.”

“Oh, my daughter, you wound me.”

“Yeah, I did, didn’t I?”

Silco waited a beat, then said, “I never wanted this for you. You’re meant to be out there thriving, and showing the world who you are! Not locked away in this glorified prison cell.”

“I know,” Jinx whined, “But this is what they do to people that thrive. Call ‘em all crazy, and punt ‘em just far enough away that the other Pilties can’t see!”

“Well, what about the girl, then?”

“Lux?”

“Her, yes. She knows you’re not crazy. She recognized it straight away! That girl could be smarter than everyone else here.”

“Yeah,” Jinx sighed, “Or she’s just as lost as I am.”

“Trust me, Jinx, you’re the very furthest thing from lost.”

“Then why does it feel like I don’t know the point anymore?”

“Point of what, child? Be specific!”

Jinx shrugged into her white bedsheets and ignored the instruction. “This and that. All of it. Like, why even bother?”

“Don’t tell me I’ve raised a quitter. Is that what you are!?”

“No, I know… But this whole ‘trying to get better’ thing, and pretend that everything’s fine, that’s Piltie business! They’re the ones going on and on ignoring every fucked up thing in the world so they can keep acting like their pointless lives aren’t as meaningless as the ants they step on.”

“And what about your life? Do you think it meaningless?”

“Yeah. Duh.”

“Then tell me, Jinx, why did I protect you with my last breath? Why did I fight against every lieutenant and baron who wished your end?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you shouldn’t have.”

“And Luxanna, when she chose to sit with you in the café, was it pointless of her to do so? Even your own neglectful, betrayous sister guarded you from the wrath of the Kiramman girl! Are each of these efforts in vain?”

Jinx sat up and growled at him. “I don’t know, okay! I don’t understand any of this anymore.”

“Then why are you still here, Jinx?”

“That’s what I’m saying! I don’t know.”

“‘Cuz she’s too scared to end it,” a new voice said. It was Mylo now, for the first time in a while. Ever since Silco had shown up, Mylo was mostly too intimidated to add to the noise, but there were still times here and there when his unwelcome opinion butted in.

“No, that’s not — NO!” Jinx shouted at him. “That’s not what I’m saying at all.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No! You’re twisting my words, confusing me.”

Mylo turned to Silco. “Hey! I’m just saying what she’s too fraidy cat to admit. I mean, we’re all thinking it, right?”

But Silco shook his head. “No. Death is too… boring for Jinx. And it’s too simple. Too easy. Our girl’s a fighter, and she always will be!”

“What if I’m not, though?” Jinx asked. “What if I’m just so tired of trying, and trying, and always losing? What’s the point if I never win anything?”

“Never!? Was the roof I kept over your head not enough? Was our dominion in the Lanes not enough? Is that girl with the golden hair pining for you not a win?”

“Oh my gods, Dad, shut up about Lux!”

“Why? You like her, don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter. She’s gonna find out how broken I am, and then she’s gonna abandon me like Vi did. Like Sevika tried to. Like everyone.”

“Hey, I’ve never left!” Mylo sassed.

Jinx rolled her eyes at him, then turned back to her father. “What, so I’m supposed to focus on a crazy girl and her crazier plans, and that’s not gonna blow up in my face and make things twice as bad?”

“If it gives you something to bother with while you search out a greater purpose, then I don’t see why not.”

“Because! That’s just pretending! I’d just be lying to myself that I’m okay, and I don’t wanna live a lie.”

The ghost of Silco stepped up and put his hands on his hips. “Jinx, when you were quite young and you first began to scribble the walls, did you fancy yourself an artist?”

“Yeah…”

“Were you any good?”

Jinx shifted uncomfortably, then glanced at Mylo for help, but he had nothing to offer. “No! What kind of little girl’s good at drawing?”

“Then, was it fraudulent to consider yourself an artist?”

“No! That’s stupid.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Jinx said, finally understanding his point, “Because you have to practice something if you wanna get good at it, so it’s stupid to not count the time getting good as part of it.”

“Right.”

“So, what? I’m supposed to practice finding my purpose? Do you realize how insane that sounds!?”

“Oh, Jinx, only the very lucky among us discover their life’s calling at an early age, and a great many of those go on to seek new callings as time goes on. Which is why you can’t expect an adolescent ambition to endure with you forever. You will find a new purpose yet, and it may be even greater than everything that came before!”

“Like when you found me?” Jinx asked. “After I — After it all blew up?”

“Hmm. I will admit that moment was something of a turning point for me. Indeed, your presence drove me to reconsider a great many things I once believed about myself.”

“But I don’t even know where to start!”

“Why not with Luxanna? It sounded as though she had a plan. Perhaps she could give you some direction?”

“Ugh! Fine, you win. I’ll go talk to Lux and tell her I’m in.”

“You will? Excellent!”

“Um, duh!” Then Jinx bolted up. “Wait a minute, who said that!? Who’s there?”

Before Jinx could stop and process what was happening, a figure emerged in the corner of the room. It was as if the woman had walked through a wall of water, with the ripples of light bending around her. Lux was standing with a nervous grin, letting the last of rainbow-colored streaks run through her fingers.

It would have been easy to assume she was simply another phantom in Jinx’s head, but then Lux pounced on the bed, giving the mattress springs a good groan, and that was something the other ghosts had never been able to do.

“You’re real?” Jinx said. “How?”

Lux smiled playfully, cocking her head to the side and letting her hair bounce around. “Of course I’m real! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t understand. Did you just walk through the wall?”

“Oh!” Lux laughed. “No, I’ve been hiding. I bent the light around me to prevent my form from showing, simulating invisibility. Pretty neat, huh?”

“This whole time?”

“Yeah, for the last…” Lux checked her wrist as if a timepiece had been strapped to it, but her arm was bare. “Ah, the last three hours now! Since we got back from breakfast.”

“You know how long it’s been?”

“Mmhmm! The Sun told me. Whenever he’s high in the sky, you can always tell what time it is by the direction of the shadow he casts.”

“So…” Jinx hesitated. “Everything I just said, you heard all that?”

Lux nodded affectionately. “It’s very healthy to talk out your problems. Or that’s what the shrinks here say! But they’re getting paid twenty-five cogs an hour, so they must be doing something right.”

“Right.”

“Oh, speaking of which,” Lux asked, “Do you know who your counselor will be? Did they assign you one?”

“Wait, hold your guns, Lady. What’re you even doing here?”

“Oh! Right.” Lux rolled over on the bed and spread her arms and legs as wide as she could. “Well, Miss Jinxie, you told me I should be pinned up in your room, so I sorta kinda decided to consider that an invitation.”

Jinx chuckled awkwardly, trying to determine whether to find the girl’s attitude refreshingly amusing, or appallingly invasive. Somehow it was managing to make her feel both. “But why me?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I like you!”

“Because?”

Lux shrugged. “Who knows? You’re the first person to brighten my day since they locked me up here, so I might kinda sorta be a teensy bit clingy! Sorry. I’ll — um — I can leave if you want. Well, no I can’t, since the door’s locked. Dang. Looks like you’re stuck with me!”

Even for Jinx, the queen of chaos, Lux’s mood was a lot to take in. She sat there flabbergasted and unsure how to respond, yet simultaneously exhilarated. What the fuck was happening?

“Ha! Don’t worry,” Lux added. “Your whole block’s up for lunch in half an hour, so I’ll head on out after that, and get out of your hair. Which really is beautiful, by the way! Do you need someone to braid it for you? If you don’t have any other volunteers, I’d happily offer you my fingers.”

“Um…”

“Oh, I’m sorry! It’s just that I’ve been thinking of things to say while I waited, and so they’re all coming out now. I’m not usually like this.”

Somehow Jinx doubted that, but she let the matter lie. Lux was a lot of things, but she wasn’t boring. And, for now, “not boring” was good enough. It might hardly be better than stapling an open wound shut, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Sure,” Jinx said. “You can do my braids.”

“Really? Oh, alright! Let’s get started.”

Lux crawled up behind and immediately set her fingers to work, running them through Jinx’s hair, massaging the scalp. The personal touch was something that Jinx had been missing for a long, long time.

And, in this boisterous stranger’s hands, somehow the world felt a little bit brighter. A little bit more okay. Or, at least this small piece of it did. But that was enough.

Chapter Text

“Well, I’m not your physician,” the therapist explained, “But I hear you’re having withdrawal symptoms. From, uh — It’s called Shimmer, am I right?”

Jinx shrugged, trying to play it as cool as she could. “If you’re not a doctor, then how come you’re asking about it?”

“To be clear, Miss Jinx, I am a doctor. You can think of me more as a healer of minds, not bodies.”

“Well, then you’re in luck, Doc! ‘Cuz nobody’s sicker than me.”

“Are you bragging?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, well.” The therapist picked up a pad of paper and a pen. “I need to know more about how this Shimmer and its withdrawals are affecting you. Psychologically, I mean. It’s important to my work that I understand as many variables in play as I can.”

“And what if I don’t want you to?”

“Miss Jinx, do you not want to get better?”

“Not if being better is being like you!”

The therapist paused for a while, letting Jinx calm down, and then said, “It wouldn’t even be possible if I tried. Everyone is different in their own way, and especially those of sound mind.”

“I dunno about that,” Jinx told her. “All you Pilties seem the same to me.”

“Well, perhaps you’ve never gotten to know one of us. You know, people can look much more similar at a distance.”

“Not me! You could spot me a mile away.”

“Very true. Now, I see that your hair’s been braided again. That’s new.”

Jinx chuckled at the reminder. Lux had woven her hair into long, tight ropes of blue, and it was easily the best braid Jinx had ever had. “What, is it not allowed? Gotta conform to the standardized hairstyles?”

“No, you’re fine. It’s permitted.”

“Oh.”

“I was merely commenting on its existence,” the therapist explained. “As your hair is rather long, it occurs to me that such a volume must take another’s assistance to handle. Do I assume correctly?”

“Well, if you’re trying to find out who helped me, I’m not gonna rat her out!”

“I’m not.”

“Good.”

“Do you often let people help you, or was this unusual for you?”

“Stop trying to dig for details!” Jinx snapped. “I said I’m not ratting her out.”

“Jinx, I don’t care who it was that helped you braid your hair. I’m only attempting to express approval that you allowed someone to help you at all. It can take a lot for us to admit when we want or need someone’s help, to tell them that we can’t do it all on our own. Would you consider this behavior unusual for you?”

Jinx shrugged, ignoring the question. She could tell the doctor was trying to get inside her head, trying to congratulate her for doing something “normal” so that Jinx would be motivated to keep doing other “normal” things. But that was missing the trees for the forest — The fact that Jinx accidentally did something normal was merely a coincidence. Lots of people want to be touched and have their hair played with! Why did it have to be a sign of something more?

They were sitting in another boring room. Not quite as boring as Jinx’s bedroom, but boring in a different way. As if the doctor therapist lady was the most monotonous person on earth, and the decorations in the room were the things that appealed to her stupid taste specifically. Everything that wasn’t white was either beige or lilac colored, and designed with rigidly straight lines or perfectly round circles. Nothing in the middle. Nothing with any edge.

In such a mundane realm, even the smallest of Jinx’s true colors stuck out like a rainbow on an overcast day, but that wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t about to let the milquetoast Pilties desaturate her!

“It was Lux,” Jinx announced at random. “She braided my hair.”

“Miss Crownguard?”

“No. Just Lux. The Crownguards hate her ‘cuz she’s full of colors, and I know how all you rich fuckers think that’s the worst crime imagineable.”

A soft smile broke across the therapist’s face. She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. “It sounds as though you have that in common with Miss Lux. Are there any other things you appreciate about her?”

“Like what?”

“Well, if you’ve found common ground with this woman, then I’m curious to know what that looks like. It’s very important that we learn how to relate to other people.”

“Oh,” Jinx grumbled, “I see what you’re doing.”

“As you should, Jinx. I’m not hiding my motivations.”

“No! That’s the worst trick of all. Tell people you’re being honest with ‘em, and it gets ‘em to let their guard down.”

“Jinx, why do you feel the need to be so guarded?”

“‘Cuz everyone hates me! Shit always slides to the sump, so I gotta hold my nose all day unless I want a lung full of ass.”

The therapist laughed politely, then pulled out a pen and paper. “I enjoyed that one, Jinx. Would you mind if I shared it with my colleagues?”

“What, like I’m some kinda joke to you?”

“Well, you make jokes. Some of the things you say are intended to garner a laugh, are they not?”

Jinx shrugged again, and turned in her chair so she could kick her feet up on the arm rest. “Life’s a joke. It is! And don’t lie to me. But I realized it’s better to be in on the joke so I can laugh along with it.”

“That’s very insightful,” the therapist told her.

“I doubt it.”

“Well, I’m not saying that you’re correct about the world, but I appreciate how robust of an understanding you have towards your own inner workings. A lot of other people take several weeks or months in therapy before beginning to process such things.”

“Cool,” Jinx snarked. “Keep flattering me. Do you think it’s working?”

The therapist shook her head. “It’s too early to tell. A lot of what’s happening now are your defense mechanisms coming out, so I won’t be able to evaluate how earnest you are. Not until I’ve talked with you for a while longer, at least.”

“Then what good are you?”

“Well, I can make other assessments. I can measure what you know, and what connections your mind is already making. Those are helpful in their own way, even if I remain unsure as to the value you place upon them.”

Jinx squinted at the therapist, her mouth slightly agape. “I don’t get it.”

“Then allow me to backtrack, as that may assist me in getting to my point. Do you mind if we talk about your relationship with Miss Crownguard?”

“Luxie and I aren’t in a relationship. I barely even know her!”

“Yet you have a pet name for her?”

“Duh. Everyone’s got a pet name!”

The therapist laughed again, then covered her mouth. “Dare I ask what your pet name is for me, then? I promise not to grow angry.”

“Poopy,” Jinx said quickly.

“No it’s not, Jinx. You made that up on the spot just now.”

“And!? Now I’m sticking with it. You’re Mrs. Poopy Pooperton, the Piltovan… Podiatrist.”

“Jinx, podiatrists are feet doctors.”

“Hey, I don’t care what you’re into! Everyone’s got their thing, so it’s not my place to judge.”

“Okay, we’ll get to that,” the therapist said. “But I’d like to ask if you’re aware of what just happened now: You made a statement about yourself and, when challenged, you doubled down with a series of impulsive jokes so that the focus would shift to you as the comedian, not you as the person who said something wrong about herself.”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“You tell me, Jinx. Was it entirely true that everyone has a pet name?”

“No. I dunno. Look, it varies, okay? I’m just saying it’s not unusual for me to give someone a new name, and you know what I meant!”

“I do,” the therapist admitted. “In any case, I was attempting to determine whether your relationship with this other young woman is in any way unusual.”

“Hey, what’d I just say, Doc? Luxie and I aren’t in a relationship!”

The therapist nodded. “Miss Jinx, every one of us inherently relate to those around ourselves, even if that relation is indifference, or scorn, or something equally unpleasant.”

“Oh.”

“For example,” she continued, “My primary relationship to you is that I am your counselor, and you are my counselee. This is a relationship that has been ordained by the circumstances of my employment and your interment. Had neither of those been the case, then we might not relate to each other at all, or may have related in an entirely other way.”

“Ugh,” Jinx grumbled. “It sounds obvious when you put it that way. What’s the point of putting a label on something so ordinary?”

The therapist turned to her desk and withdrew a wad of paperwork. “It says here in your file that you’re something of an artist. Is that true?”

“Um, yeah…”

“Have you ever heard of the ‘art debate’?”

“Sounds stupid.”

“It is!” the therapist laughed. “It’s intended to raise the question of what should count as art. Because, if any person can label any action of theirs as artistic, then doesn’t that make everything art?”

“Right!” Jinx agreed. “So why call anything art you’re gonna be like that?”

“Good. You understand.”

“‘Cuz you’re making my point for me,” Jinx said. “What you and I’ve got ain’t a relationship. We’re just people, and we’re both stuck here, so we’re making the most of it.”

“You’re partly correct, Jinx. I wouldn’t go out and tell my colleagues that you and I are in a relationship, because the literal interpretation of that is obvious. Of course I relate to those with whom I spend time! So, in such a context, being told that someone is in a relationship is assumed to hold special value. Do you agree?”

Jinx nodded.

“In the same way, calling a piece of media art is meant to mark it as an especially effective piece of art, or denote that its artistic merits are highly pronounced compared to the mundane world around it.”

“Sure.” Jinx grabbed one of her braids and started playing with it idly, wrapping it around her fingers and arms, and otherwise remaining distracted.

“Jinx, I’m making this clarification to validate your reaction. When I stated that you have a relationship with this other young woman, you assumed a connotation of special interests. And you’re right to reject any assessment that says something untrue about you.”

“Uh-huh. Thanks, Doc. So glad I have your permission to be mad when people lie about me.”

“Should we move on, then?”

“I dunno,” Jinx sighed.

“What about Miss Crownguard, then? Are you looking forward to spending more time with her?”

Jinx shook her head. “Why do you keep coming back to Lux? It’s like you’re obsessed or something. Oh, wait, maybe you’re the one with a crush! Yeah, I’m gonna go tell Luxie to keep her feet hidden, ‘cuz ya never know who’s a secret podiatrist out there!”

“Jinx, you were the one that told me she braided your hair. I assume you had a reason for doing so, as opposed to keeping the information from me. Which, might I remind you, you were entitled to do. You’re allowed to have secrets.”

“No.” Jinx shook her head again. “I wouldn’t do that. I’m not a liar.”

“Well, if Miss Crownguard is nothing special to you, does that mean you intend to seek relationships with other patients during your stay here?”

“No thanks, Doc,” Jinx laughed. “I’m already seeing someone. Well, two someones.”

“Again, Jinx, I didn’t intend that in a romantic way.”

“Ew, no! Neither did I. Silco and Mylo… no. Ew. Why the fuck would you put that in my head!?”

The therapist retreated to her desk again and carefully pored over her notes and files. “Silco… The late Mister Silco of Zaun. It says here he was your guardian until his recent passing?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t my fault,” Jinx said. “He was just — I was just — He was gonna shoot my sister! I don’t know what happened.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jinx quickly shook her head.

“Then we won’t. We can go back to Miss Crownguard if that’s easier.”

“I dunno. Luxie’s not a good person. She wants me to help her break out of this place, and find some wall to blow up or something.”

“She told you this?”

“Yeah, at breakfast, and afterwards too when she was breaking the rules.”

The therapist set her pen down and pushed the paper away. “Jinx, this sounds like something Miss Crownguard would have asked you not to share with anyone, or wouldn’t have wanted you to share with me.”

“I don’t care.”

“You don’t care whether you violate her trust?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Jinx said. “If she gets me in trouble, you guys are gonna find a way to make my life even worse. And it’s bad enough as things are!”

“Then how about we try to find something that would make your life more comfortable,” the therapist suggested. “If you have any requests from me, or from the staff, then I can go ahead and write them down.”

Jinx pulled her feet down from the chair and sat up straight. “Oh, a pony! But a rainbow one, with a bunch of colored dyes and stripes on the side.”

“I don’t understand, Jinx. How would a pony make you more comfortable?”

“Because it — uh — Pfft. You were supposed to say no! You’re supposed to tell me I can’t have a pony.”

“Is that what you think my purpose is? A gatekeeper? Because I’m willing to entertain the idea that a pony could help you, even one with a bunch of silly rainbow stripes.”

“No you’re not,” Jinx scoffed. “You’re just making fun of me, but all doctory instead of jokey.”

“And if I was?” the therapist said. “Would you consider that unfair? After all, Jinx, you’ve been making fun of me yourself this entire time.”

“Yeah, but, ugh — Aren’tcha supposed to lie down and take it?”

“Would it help either of us if I did?”

Jinx glared at the therapist, but couldn’t find anything else to say to her. So she sat back in the seat cushions and became a puddle of sweaty flesh. “Fine.”

“Fine, what?”

“Fine!” Jinx repeated. “I want something to draw with. Or paint. My room is so fucking boring, and I swear I’m losing my mind staring at all the boringest whitest walls I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, there we go. I can run the suggestion by management this evening, and they’ll run it by your patrons in the morning, though I can’t imagine such a simple request would be denied.”

“Then you haven’t met my ‘patrons’, ” Jinx snarked. “Do you even know why they put me in here!?”

“I do,” the therapist said, “But I’d be happy to hear the story in your own words.”

“No thanks. Been there, done that.”

“What about this, then. Jinx, if you could be anywhere right now, any time or place, where would you go?”

“I dunno.”

The therapist nodded knowingly, and clicked her tongue a few times. “You tell me that you don’t like it here, and you clearly disagree with the reasons for your patrons interning you, so there’s got to be a place you’d rather be. Anywhere at all — Where would you go?”

“Pfft. No. I don’t got an answer yet. Is that a problem?”

“Not for me, no. But it would be for you if your release was arranged soon.”

“Doc, you and I both know that ain’t gonna happen. So it’s just another pointless, bullshit thought exercise.”

“Hmm. I’m not sure I agree,” the therapist said. “Unachievable fantasies are given consideration all the time in our dreams and creative work. Would this exercise be so different?”

“Well, duh. ‘Cuz places don’t matter if the people aren’t any good, and all the people I wanna be with don’t exist anymore.”

“Mister Silco, I presume?”

Jinx nodded. “Him, my sister, and even Vika. She’s been a total bitch lately. What, like suddenly she’s too good for all my little pranks? Since when!?”

“This was a friend of yours?” the therapist asked.

“I dunno, Doc. Labels are hard. Friend, coworker, rival, auntie, you name it! Depended on the day, or what I ate for breakfast.”

“Then what about your sister, Miss Violet. She’s listed on your file as one of your patrons.”

“Nuh-uh. Wrong.”

The therapist picked up her paperwork and turned it around. “Here, I can show you, if you don’t believe me.”

“Oh, no, I believe it says that, but it’s all a lie. Violet doesn’t have a single bronze washer to her name.”

“I see. So the other Miss Kiramman is your sole benefactor?”

Jinx sat back and put her feet up again, then smiled wide. “Yeah, the Kirammans are one of those moldy old matriarchy families, and, lucky for me, little baby Caitie just came into her inheritance! Timing couldn’t have been any more convenient, if ya think about it.”

The therapist sighed deeply and shook her head. Meanwhile Jinx bit her tongue to avoid saying more, because she could tell she had finally struck a nerve with the doctor.

“Jinx, I’d like for you to practice something for me. Come up with a scenario where you and your sister work together to come to a common understanding, and you and she both embrace where the other is at in life. And it has to be a realistic, plausible situation. I know you’re smart enough to know the difference.”

“Well, that’s not gonna happen,” Jinx said. “If Vi could’ve ever accepted me, she wouldn’t have put me here. Wouldn’t have let her stupid girlfriend to pay for all this stupid… stupidness.”

“Did you expect her to disagree?”

“Kinda. Yeah.”

“Why’s that, Miss Jinx? Is the relationship your patrons have with each other a tenuous one?”

“Oh! Here’s a fun story, Doc. You’ll love it: Corrupt enforcer woman falls in love with a prison inmate, forges paperwork to get the inmate’s charges dropped, and suddenly she’s walking around scot free! Then the prisoner goes and murders a bunch of people, but it doesn’t matter ‘cuz they’re from the undercity, so those people don’t count! And what does the cop lady do after that? Nothing! Not even a slapstick on the wrist.”

“No, Jinx, that can’t be true.”

“What, is it news to you that the enforcers got a monopoly on violence? They’re officially sanctioned, so it’s A-okay, Doc! And soon enough Vi’s gonna be one of ‘em, beating up poors on the regular. Breaking their necks ‘cuz they’re breaking the rules. That’s the foundation of a stable society! More police. Just one more police officer, and I swear we’ll solve crime.”

“Are you convinced your sister is destined for such brutality?”

“Obviously!” Jinx said. “Vi might as well stand for violence.”

“Well, if it’s true that she spent some time in a general prison, she’s likely a product of her circumstances.”

“Meaning?”

The therapist offered a polite smile. “Jinx, the general prison system, including Stillwater, is only partially in service of public safety. Beyond that, it belongs to a class of justice called retribution. Do you know what that means?”

“Oh, yeah, Doc. I know all about retribution.”

“Well, in the Pembroke Institute, our primary goal is something different: Rehabilitation. It’s an entirely separate approach to justice.”

“How? I’m still locked in a box with no hope of ever getting out.”

“Don’t be like that, Jinx. There’s always hope of a successful rehabilitation.”

“No, there’s not! Look, Lady, you’re prolly not trying to be evil and complicit in all this shit — You’re prolly actually doing your very fucking best to help me — But so what? Best case scenario, I learn how to say and do all the right things, but the problems in the world are still out there! The rebellion’s gonna keep living on, ‘cuz the undercity’s still gonna need to show the Pilties what’s what.”

The therapist nodded solemnly. “That may be the case, but at least your own circumstances will have improved.”

“Yeah, ‘cuz some rich lesbo took pity on my dumb sister. Do you think I want that? To be charity?”

“No, I couldn’t rightly say,” the therapist admitted. “It’s hard to get an accurate reading of anything you truly want. More than half the time, it seems as though your words are shaped by mere whimsy, which then gets bolstered by the quickness of your wit. Genuinely, Jinx, your ability to fabricate a convincing sounding reason on the spot is quite impressive.”

Jinx squinted her eyes. “Sounds like you’re calling me a liar again.”

“No, I’m not. Lying is a different sort of thing — generally, a deliberate misrepresentation of one’s own understanding. What you’re doing could be something else.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Clearly, you’re a very smart girl, and your upbringing was a tumultuous situation — to put it mildly.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“Well, oftentimes, in cases like yours, the best adaptive strategy for survival is to get quite good at bullshitting your way through situations. This isn’t lying about what you believe or know, but presenting yourself with a level of confidence as though you had more experience than you do.”

“Oh.”

“When you believe in yourself so strongly, you can avoid the hesitation and busywork that comes with second-guessing. More importantly, you can get others to ally with your cause without having to show what plan will securely ensure success, and that can put the wheels in motion much much sooner.”

“Well, yeah,” Jinx said, “That’s just being smart. You figure out what shortcuts you can take!”

“Correct,” the therapist told her. “Abandoning caution is frequently advantageous, at least in the short run. But the longer you live like this, the greater your chance of dramatic failure.”

“Like a casino,” Jinx sighed. “Fastest gains’ll come from going ‘all-in’, but your luck ain’t gonna hold out forever.”

“Very well put, Miss Jinx. The way you live your life is equivalent to going ‘all-in’ day after day, and getting lucky day after day. But sometimes you haven’t gotten lucky. Sometimes you’ve lost it all.”

“Yeah…”

“More than just the actions you take, it’s the things you say. When an idea comes to you, Jinx, and it’s passed your lips, you commit to it entirely. You’re even able to convince yourself that you believe what you’re saying, because everything you utter has an element of truth to it. Or, at least, the truth as you understand it. Therefore, it doesn’t feel dishonest to you, because it’s been assembled from pieces of truth you cobbled together like the clever inventor you are.”

“Oh.”

“Do you feel like what I’ve said is a fair assessment?”

Jinx shrugged. “I guess.”

“Well,” the therapist said. “You don’t have to agree with it all right away, or ever, in fact. In either case, I hope at least it’s been food for thought.”

“Sorta. Yeah. Thank you, Doc.”

“Should we end things there for today?”

“Okay.”

“Good?”

Jinx nodded again. “Yeah.”

“Then I’ll see what I can do about getting you your painting tools. Until that time, enjoy your dinner, and do try to get some sleep.”

“Wait, I can stay and talk more,” Jinx said.

“It’s alright,” the therapist told her. “You and I will have another meeting in two days’ time. Whatever else it is you wish to discuss, we can get into it then. Alright?”

“Alright.”

“Very well, then. I’ll show you to the door.”

Jinx stood up, surprised at how quickly the time had passed, and further surprised at how much she wanted to keep talking. Maybe everyone else had been right. Maybe there was something to this therapy deal after all!

“Okay,” she said. “Thank you. Next time?”

“Next time.”

Chapter Text

For dinner, the institute was serving a rather bland spread of sliced turkey and buttered bread. It could hardly be called bad food, but it was paradoxically so boring that Jinx was sure she would never forget how boring it was.

The ghost of Silco watched Jinx poke her spork at the meat, digging a hole in its middle so she could laugh at the poultry’s perforated plight.

“Jinx, darling, do you want them to believe you’re crazy?”

She shrugged. “Yeah. Why not.”

“Well, I suppose it could be a tactical advantage to disguise your true sensibilities. Or to project a fearsome image.”

Mylo disagreed with that. “Did you see her in that doctor’s office? Ten minutes with the shrink and she’s already cracked! Was ready to spill all her precious secrets to the lady.”

“Shut up!” Jinx hissed. “I didn’t — It wasn’t like that.”

“No,” Silco said, “The boy’s got a point. That doctor had you eating out of her very hand, eager to feed on whatever lies and twisted fantasies she could muster. How very quick you are to abandon your principles when a sweet talking voice treats you with kindness.”

“Oh, like you did!?”

Silco recoiled, but Mylo didn’t. “Also fits the bill for the blonde girl, wouldn’t you say?”

Jinx threw the spork down and glared at both of her ghosts. “SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!”

It was enough to draw the attention from several tables around her, with all their wandering eyes and their low-toned gossip, but Jinx didn’t care.

“Well, now you’ve done it,” Silco snarled. “Are you quite happy with yourself?”

“No! Does this seem like a place for happy people!?”

A bright voice from behind her answered. “Aww, this place isn’t that bad. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been!”

Jinx turned around to see, of course, Lux was standing there with her own food tray, and its own sliced turkey and buttered bread. Somehow Lux had acquired a double portion of the turkey, and Jinx immediately suspected magic had something to do with it, but that was a question for later.

“Oh, it’s you,” Jinx said quietly, feeling suddenly much smaller.

“Indeed, it is I, the one and only Luxanna, um… Crownslayer!”

“Crownslayer?”

“Yes! I’m trying it on. What do you think?”

“It’s a little hokey,” Jinx admitted. “Makes it sound like ya killed a king or something, which brava if it’s true. But that’s a full tent these days.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m a crown-slayer too!”

Lux shook her head, smiling with a delightful twinkle in her eyes. “Nope. Not until you marry me, you won’t be! But I’m getting ahead of myself. Mind if I eat with you?”

“Um…” Jinx turned around to look at where the ghosts of Mylo and Silco had been sitting, but they were gone. So, then, they wouldn’t mind if… “Luxie, do you really not have any friends besides me?”

The Demacienne shrugged. “I’ve already given my ‘hi’s and ‘hello’s to them today. I wanna hear how your session went with Doctor Fuckface!”

“That’s not her name. And, anyway, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need another person bullying me.”

“Ooh, then it must’ve been pretty juicy,” Lux decided. She wheeled around the table as quickly as she could and landed herself opposite of Jinx. “So, did you make any important emotional breakthroughs!? That’s what it’s all about, they always say.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Aww, but I’ll give you some of my extra turkey if you do!”

“Wait,” Jinx chuckled. “How’d you even get that?”

Lux wiggled her eyebrows playfully. “Wouldn’t you like to know? I’m full of secrets, but I’ll tell you if you talk to me about your session today!”

“No, it’s — I’m not hungry. Just eat your own food.”

“Okie dokie, Jinxie. More for me!”

Jinx pushed her tray away and started to scratch at her arm. But she hadn’t even realized she was doing it until Lux interrupted her.

“Allergies? Is that why you’re not eating?”

“No, I — Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

Lux nodded. “Some of the others here used to do that, too. Who would’ve guessed that Piltover’s got so many druggies!? Oh, gods, the scandal of it all.”

“I’m not like that,” Jinx said bitterly. “I didn’t choose it, so it wasn’t my fault.”

“Then whose was it?” Lux asked. Her eyes were bright, and completely devoid of judgment.

Jinx looked around the room, expecting to see Silco standing there and taking credit for the crime, or Caitlyn or Violet, or the singed doctor, or any of them who had been involved. Yet nobody was there. Unusual, but not important now.

“Um,” Jinx said, “It was this thing — I got hurt, and they forced me to take it. So it’s why my eyes got all — Well, you’ve seen ‘em.”

“A narcotic did that to you? Fascinating! Were your eyes not pink before?”

“Blue. Like yours, actually.”

“Oh, no, that wouldn’t do at all,” Lux replied. “Pink suits you a lot better, I think! You don’t want to be like anyone else, do you?”

“Luxie, I didn’t choose this. And plus, lots of people who take Shimmer end up with these gross, pink eyes. Didja think I didn’t know what it’s like? ‘Cuz I’ve seen all the people Silco dealt it to, and I never wanted to be like that! Never needed to.”

“Does it go away?”

“I dunno,” Jinx said. “How would I? Whenever our hardest customers managed to get themselves off Shimmer I prolly never saw them again, if ya know what I mean.”

“Fascinating,” Lux repeated. Her thumb was up on her lips as she pondered Jinx’s story. “Is there anyone in the city who might have studied the results of such a case?”

“Getting off our drugs? I dunno.”

If it had been a month ago, Jinx could’ve easily directed Lux to the Boy Savior and his entourage of child soldiers. But now Ekko was dead, flung into a grave or the Pilt by Jinx’s grenade. And nobody would have been cruel enough to resuscitate him the same way they had done her. Injecting him with Shimmer was entirely antithetical to the Firelights’ mantra. So, no, nobody alive that Jinx knew of had the answers.

She needed to change the subject fast. “Hey, Luxie, what are your brain doctor episodes like?”

“You mean my therapist sessions? Entirely ineffective.”

“How come?”

“Lots of reasons,” Lux said, “But the main one is easy: It’s hard to repair something when it isn’t broken.”

“Must be nice,” Jinx sighed.

“Wanna know what else has come in handy? All that court training I did in my early years! All those ‘Yes, your majesty’ s and ‘Of course, your highness’ s really taught me how to be good at pretending when I need to. So, my therapist — who’s also named Doctor Fuckface just in case you were wondering — she’s never heard a true word from my lips.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“With what?”

Jinx shook her head disapprovingly and glanced off in the distance. “I dunno. Being a liar.”

“It’s another tool at our disposal, just like being honest is. The trick is knowing when to use which tool!”

“Do you lie to me?” Jinx asked flatly.

Lux shrugged. “About what?”

“So, you do.”

“Hey, no, I didn’t say that!”

“You didn’t have to, Lux. Wouldn’t’ve needed to clarify unless sometimes you’re a liar.”

“That’s true,” Lux admitted. “What about, would it help if I was honest about being a liar? Because I can do that! Hi, Jinx, my name is Luxanna Crownslayer, and I am a dirty liar. I lie all the fucking time.”

A small smile broke on Jinx’s face, and she couldn’t help herself from laughing. “Sounds like you’ve got an addiction.”

“Oh, I do, Jinx! Gods, I’m so helplessly addicted to lying.”

“Then gimme one right now,” Jinx said. “Just so I know what they look like. Lie to me!”

Lux got up on the table and crawled towards Jinx. “Alright, ready? Jinx, I don’t think you’re incredibly pretty. I haven’t been dreaming about kissing you this entire time, because your pink eyes and everything aren’t incredibly distractingly cute.”

“Um…”

“What, too far?” Lux laughed. “Okay, don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”

“No, I just… Wait, you were lying, right?”

Lux nodded, and Jinx rolled her eyes.

“See, Luxie, this is why it’s all so confusing! Don’t do that again.”

“Unless you ask, right?”

“No! I thought you were gonna say something like the sun is blue, or Seraphine makes good music. You know, a normal kinda lie.”

Lux smiled coquettishly, then returned to her seat. “So you don’t lie to your therapist?”

“I dunno,” Jinx sighed. “No, not on purpose. I even kinda told her that you were rulebreaking, ‘cuz she asked about my hair and stuff.”

“Wow. Jinx the snitch. Who would have thought?”

“I’m sorry! I panicked, and she — Well, I—”

“Relax,” Lux cut in. “I’m not upset. Anything they could’ve done to me, they would’ve done it a while ago. Unless, wait — You didn’t tell them about my light did you?”

“No. I don’t know what I was doing. But Luxie, what if they actually can fix me? If being honest with them gives me a chance at being okay with everything, would that really be so bad?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?”

“No?”

“Jinx, complacency is their most powerful weapon! It’s the whole reason things get so bad in the first place. Because everyone wants to choose the easy thing, going along with the way things are. But nothing will ever improve on its own when the powers-that-be hold a vested interest in keeping us down, so we have to hang onto our resistance!”

“Yeah,” Jinx laughed, “You sound like my dad.”

She looked around the room, once again expecting Silco’s ghost to materialize and snark, or smile, or anything, but he wasn’t there. Jinx was starting to wonder whether Lux’s presence was pushing the ghost away, or if it had been a sheer coincidence.

“Your father,” Lux said, “Did you and he agree on that point? The resistance?”

“Um, I blew up the council building. Does that answer your question?”

Lux giggled, nodding in the affirmative. “Just checking — That whole tower incident, it wasn’t an accident? Because, as far as I know, you could have been aiming for — ah — your ex-boyfriend’s house!”

“I don’t have any ex-boyfriends.”

“Damn. Their loss.”

“Yeah, it would’ve been,” Jinx laughed. “They’d’ve all got their houses blown up. Prolly best they avoided me.”

“Speaking of such wanton destruction,” Lux said, “Did you maybe possibly reconsider breaking out of the Asylum with me? Of course, since it’s currently my home, I do realize I’ll have to date you to get you to blow it up, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

“Sheesh. You’re persistent.”

“A girl’s got to try.”

Jinx’s face was soon beset with an evil, clown-shaped grin, and she couldn’t help herself. She tried! Jinx looked around the room rapidly, searching to see what Silco or Mylo, or anyone else had to say, but nobody had chosen to weigh in on her current predicament. So it was just her, the jokes, and the surprisingly-forward Demacienne.

“I think you scared ‘em off,” Jinx said. “All the voices in my head I was talking about.”

“Miles… and Stanley?”

“Close enough!” Jinx laughed.

“Well, that sounds like a good thing. Unless it’s not — Wait, tell me if it’s not!”

“No, it’s good,” Jinx assured her. “‘Cuz if they’re finally moving on, then we’ll all be at peace. They don’t gotta bother me, and likewise for them.”

“Excellent,” Lux said. “Very excellent.”

“Hey, Luxie, do ya think you could sneak into my room again? Not for — Ugh, it’s stupid, but I wanna try — Maybe if you’re there then they won’t come back. Or am I being a krug-head?”

But Lux brightened up immediately. “Ooh, I get to be a part of your experiment!? How very scientific! Yes, Jinx, I will do it. You can count on me.”

“I can?”

“I’ll have to disappear for a moment, but only long enough to get inside. Shouldn’t be much time at all!”

“Okay.” Jinx sighed in relief. “I’d like that.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

They were back in Jinx’s boring bedroom a few minutes later, but it didn’t stay boring for long. Lux had plenty of tricks for making it beautiful, throwing up different arrays and patterns of light to fill the space with color. It was a blank canvas for her, and she was proving to be just as much of an artist as Jinx.

“So, you can just, like, do all that, without needing any tools or whatever?”

Lux traced her hand through the air, carving a trail of red and pink ribbons that were gradually taking the shape of a flower. It was a species Jinx had never seen before, either of Lux’s own invention or some rare Demacian breed. Still, it was beautiful, and a far cry better than staring at the empty ceiling.

“Depends on what you consider a tool,” Lux said. “I’m utilizing my hands, aren’t I?”

“Besides hands! Mine could never do that. Wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“True. And performing these arts au naturale is a little challenging at times,” Lux admitted. “Staves and magic wands are a real help if you want better control, but then it’s hard to hide that you’re a mage when you’re carrying around a giant magical instrument.”

“Yeah,” Jinx laughed. “Sounds like me with my minigun. Anyone who sees me knows I’m looking for trouble!”

“I don’t understand,” Lux said. “A miniaturized firearm? Wouldn’t that be easier to hide?”

“Oh, no, it’s—” Jinx paused to consider the nomenclature. “—I dunno why it’s called a minigun. ‘Cuz it’s actually really big, and really heavy too.”

“As big as the weapon you bombarded the tower with?”

A pang of guilt raced through Jinx’s heart, sending a ripple of uncomfortable emotion all across her body. And, just like that, she couldn’t bear to be in her skin anymore. It was itchy, hot, and altogether embarrassingly unpleasant.

She shot up in bed and moved to its edge, trying to get away from the feeling of being touched by anything. Even the soft, boringly white sheets were too much of a sensory overload in the moment. All because her stupid body was failing, and the drug that had been keeping her alive was wearing off. She needed more of it, or she needed to distract herself with so much serotonin and adrenaline that she wouldn’t notice her internal organs were struggling to survive.

“Jinx?” Lux murmured softly. “I didn’t mean to accuse you. Whatever happened, I know you had a reason.”

“It’s not that, Blondie. I… I think I’m dying. Whenever I — It’s like… My heart can’t take it, or something. The doctor, whenever he and the others all saved me, and pumped me full of the chems, I think it was too much. And now I, if I don’t get more, I dunno how much longer I’ve got.”

Lux sat up and rested a hand on Jinx’s shoulder. “Have you told the physicians here? Setting aside my personal rebellious grievances, some of these doctors might actually know what they’re talking about. It’s at least worth a try.”

“Yeah,” Jinx said. “They know. ‘Course they know. They’ve got me on something else, and it’s — I don’t even know how to explain it.”

“Interesting. I wonder how much of this is psychosomatic, then.”

“Like I’m making it up?”

“No, Jinx, what you’re feeling is real, but it could be driven by stress or anxiety as much as it is any other medical source.”

“Great. Everybody’s a doctor now.”

“Me?” Lux said. “No, I’m just repeating some of the stuff you’ll hear a lot when you spend a bunch of time here. It’s a fairly rudimentary analysis.”

“Oh.”

Lux began gently stroking Jinx’s arm, leaving small puddles of blue and yellow light wherever her fingertips touched. “Does it come and go? How are you feeling now?”

“It’s… Still bad, Luxie. Like my bones are hungry, and my skin’s getting pulled too tight, and someone’s got my head in a vice.”

“Please, please tell your physician tomorrow,” Lux begged. “We have to get you healthy before we blow our way outta here, don’t you think?”

Jinx’s lips cracked, and a dry laugh came out. “Is that all I am to you? An exit plan?”

“I — I just don’t believe you’re content with this cage. So I don’t understand why you’re not jumping at the chance to escape.”

“Because I… I dunno.”

“Maybe this will help you reconsider,” Lux said. “The sooner we get out of here, the sooner I can help you track down some Shimmer! That’d be nice, right?”

“No, I know, Luxie. I just wish I didn’t need it.”

“Please, Jinx, it’s not a moral failing. You didn’t ask for this.”

“I know.”

“Then what? Is something else worrying you?”

Jinx leaned over and ungraciously plopped her head on Lux’s shoulder. “I dunno, Luxie. I don’t wanna be on drugs forever, and I don’t even know if the chembarons are still making it. Plus, all of them hate my guts! So, I kinda just — and I’m not saying the Asylum wackos are right! — just think maybe it’s best to see if I can do without it. Shimmer.”

“This is the same medicine you and your father trafficked?”

“Yeah,” Jinx snarled. “There’s another guilt trip and a half.”

“Why?”

“Because, I thought everyone who got addicted to it did so by choice, ya know? So it was kinda their own fault, right? I mean, it’s not like it didn’t have a warning! Who’d be stupid enough to try something so addictive unless they were willing to accept the risks?”

“Believe it or not, but I can relate,” Lux said. “My family used to hold such a high contempt for anyone who lost their days as drunken wastrels. They thought it gave wine a bad name — It’s meant to be enjoyed in moderation at fêtes and soirées, coronations and the like — Not plastering someone into a stupor so thick they no longer contribute to society.”

“Meaning what? That it’s not the alcohol’s fault people get drunk?”

Lux shrugged. “Unfortunately, that’s not the kind of question that has a ‘yes-or-no’ answer. It’s both, and it’s neither. If you ask me, most of the people who end up with an addiction are the ones who’ve been failed in some way. So they turn to wine and mead to cope with a society that left them behind a while ago, and nobody noticed. Or nobody cared.”

“Oh,” Jinx said. “So it’s not my fault?”

“I don’t think so. Can I ask — Most of the addicts for your medicine, the ones who took too much, did they tend to be poorer?”

“I dunno. That’s not data we ever commissioned.”

“What would your estimation be?”

Jinx sighed slowly, giving the matter some thought, then nuzzled her head against Lux’s neck and nodded. “Yeah. Most of the shimmies end up at the bottoms of the sump, so they were probably pretty poor to begin with. Unless the rich dopes are just better at hiding it…”

“That’s what I thought,” Lux said. “Then, I understand why you destroyed your city’s council. All of their gold and wealth — They could have solved the petty problems of thousands beneath them! But no, they hoarded it instead, not caring how many people fell into the cracks, or turned to dangerous means of seeking power.”

“Shit, Luxie,” Jinx laughed. “Now I’m sure my dad would’ve liked you! Except, he prolly would’ve tried to weaponize all your cool flashlight tricks.”

“Then he wouldn’t be the first.”

“Oh? Sorry.”

“Not me specifically,” Lux clarified, “But it happens to a lot of mages in my homeland. They get compelled to turn on their own kind and fight for the Crown instead of each other. Actually, for a while, I thought that’s what my family was going to do with me. After they found out, I mean.”

“What happened?”

“Well, in the wake of the mage revolution, it was considerably less fashionable to elevate people like me to any sort of status. So they hid me away instead.”

“Why didn’t you just run?”

“I tried to,” Lux said, “But my family is exceptionally persistent, and I was extremely recognizable to many parts of the realm.”

“So… That’s it? You’ve been here ever since?”

“Yup. Stuck in… What did you call it? Madame Pembroke’s Asylum for girls who are deeply fucked in the head?”

“Yeah!” Jinx laughed. “They don’t put the full name on the brochure.”

“No, of course not,” Lux agreed. “It’s bad for business.”

After a while, Jinx pulled away tenderly and scooted back to a neutral position on the bed. “Hey Luxie, would it be weird if I tried to fall asleep? I don’t want you to feel creepy, or whatever. So I don’t wanna make you stay if ya don’t wanna.”

“Not weird. Is your head still thrumming?”

“Kinda, but less,” Jinx said. “It dies down a lot when ya get me all distracted.”

“I can put on another light show if that would help.”

“Sure, Flashlight, but don’t take it personally if my eyes are closed, alright?”

“Never,” Lux chuckled. “Try to get some rest, Jinxie. We’ll worry about everything else later.”

Jinx nodded off after that, drifting into a temperate slumber.

As her mind pulled away from the rainbow displays, and dove down deep inside itself, it wasn’t nightmares that haunted Jinx that night. No, her dreams were pleasant enough, more abstract and confusing than upsetting. A giant trout swimming up a purple river — a hungry monkey inviting her to dance in the middle of the town square — a song that started over from the beginning every time she checked her hands — and a roiling cauldron of soup with a quartet of poros running around its perimeter.

But at least it wasn’t her guilts, ghosts and demons. The plan to have Lux scare them off had somehow worked, and that was useful data. Jinx could work with that.

Chapter Text

A small burst of panic hit Jinx as she woke to the weight of another woman’s arm around her. She launched up from the bed and gasped, trying to center herself in the boringly white bedroom with the boringly plain bed.

But Lux wasn’t boring. The Demacienne must have fallen asleep at some point in the night and crawled up close to Jinx, electing to share what little warmth was there. And that was reasonable enough, right? After all, Jinx had been the one to invite her to the room and spend the night, so was there any need to interrogate the motive further than that?

Jinx moved back to her and whispered, “Hey, Luxie, you up?”

A sussurating moan burbled out from the blonde’s lips, and Lux’s eyes fluttered against the crust of her sleep.

“Luxie, what time is it? Can ya do your sun thingy?”

“Oh, shit fuck,” Lux cursed suddenly. She bolted upright and tossed her sheets to the side. “Hey, I gotta disappear.”

“Wait. Why?”

“Wouldn’t be good for the morning check-ins to see me now, would it?”

“That’s happening now?”

“Yeah…” Lux squinted, eyeing Jinx suspiciously. “You don’t hear it? The orderlies are banging on a door… I wanna say three rooms down?”

“Must be the tinnitus.” Jinx pointed to her ears. “It’s what I get for working with explosives all day.”

“Well, that’s…” Lux didn’t finish her sentence. Instead, she pulled back to the corner of the room least visible from the entrance, and slowly started casting a spell on herself.

The magic was mesmerizing. As an outside observer, it looked like Lux was fiddling with the very fabric of reality, bending the inherent nature of the world like clay in her hands. But that was just a trick of the light — literally. Different threads weaving together, forming a blanket of illusion until Lux’s form had entirely disappeared from sight.

It hardly came a moment too soon, with the orderly knocking a short while later.

“I’m unlocking your door, Jinx. Opening in five — four — three — two —”

A slender crack of yellow light spilled into the room as its entrance creaked open. The orderly was standing there in the same sterile white coat and mask outfit that they always wore.

“Miss Jinx? Great. Ten minutes ‘til breakfast. Gotta check in for your meds, or no visitations today.”

“Visitations?” Jinx scoffed. “As if someone’d come say hi to me.”

The orderly stared disapprovingly with arms crossed. “Just come to breakfast, Jinx. It’s eggs and toast today. It’s not bad, I promise.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Please don’t make this difficult. No meds, no privileges, no exceptions. We’ll send your visitors home, even if one of them is a Kiramman.”

“Fine!” Jinx snapped. “I’ll be there, okay? Don’t get your damn hosiery in a twist.”

“It’s for your own good, Jinx.”

“Yeah, been hearing that a lot lately! Seems everybody in the whole damn Asylum knows what’s best for me.”

The orderly tapped on the door, then offered a half-hearted smile. “Alright. Come, or don’t. It’s your call. Nine minutes away, now.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can count!”

But the orderly had already slipped out of the room and moved to rouse the next neighbor, the next patient to be reminded of their penance to normalcy that must be paid. If there was one good thing, though, it was that Lux’s illusion had worked flawlessly. The orderly had no idea she was there!

As if on cue, a warbling puddle of light manifested in the corner of the room as Lux decided to reappear. “You’re getting a visitor?” she beamed. “Lucky! Do you have any idea how rare that is?”

“Hooray for me.”

“Seriously, Jinx, it’s not that common.”

“Not common for you? Or for anyone?”

Lux scrunched her face up thinking about it for a moment, then released the tension with an awkward chuckle. “Touchée, Jinxie. Still, though, you should go.”

“Alright! Fine. Didn’t know Luxanna Crownslayer was such a goodie two-shoes all of a sudden.”

“Hey, I follow the rules when it’s useful! And, since we don’t want them to know we’re staging an elaborate escape plan, it’s probably best to make them think you’re complying with the status quo!”

“Lux, you snuck into my bedroom! They’re gonna find out you’re missing when it’s your turn to be told about breakfast.”

“No they won’t,” Lux replied, grinning with that suspiciously wide smile of hers. “There’s a dummy in my bed, and it tricks them every time.”

“A magic dummy?”

“Not even that! Turns out, nobody actually cares enough to check as long as you get your meds and your meetings.”

“Right,” Jinx said. “So, whaddya want from me? Just lay low and play along for now?”

“Exactly!”

Jinx bit her lip, hesitating. “Well, I mean… I wasn’t gonna not go to breakfast. Just don’t like being told what to do.”

“Oh, in that case,” Lux laughed, “You shouldn’t go to breakfast. In fact, I order you not to go!”

“Ha ha. Very funny.”

Lux blushed, tilting her head coquettishly. “Thank you.”

“Ya gonna be okay without me while I’m stuck in visitation?”

“Totally! I mean, it’s nothing new for me. I’ll just be wandering the halls, doing my thing, looking for a way out of here. Same as always, really.”

“So you’re not gonna sneak in and watch me get reamed by whoever wants to come talk to me?”

“Oh, I would love that!” Lux teased. “But security’s a little tighter in the visitation room than it is in the prison cells, so you’ll have to make do on your own.”

“Okay then,” Jinx laughed. “I’ll figure it out.”

A warm rush of blood filled Jinx’s cheeks, and it was a sensation that hadn’t been there for a long while. All the aches and pains of the night before were playing nice, leaving her alone for the morning, and that was something to be happy about.

If only it had stayed that way.

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

The short emotional surge was already gone by the time Jinx was led to the visitation room. With her serotonin dropping and anxieties rising in perfect parallel, all those scratchy feelings of internal deterioration were flooding back in. Great.

The orderlies plopped Jinx down in a chair and gave her their boilerplate disclosures. Miss Jinx, you can end this visitation at any point you wish, should you become uncomfortable or unwilling to continue. You’re not allowed to touch, you have an hour with them, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

“Sounds good,” Jinx said. “So I’ll just wave my hands around and freak the fuck out, or what?”

“We’ll be watching,” one of the orderlies answered. “If you need us, grab our attention the usual way.”

“Freak the fuck out it is!” Jinx laughed. “Nah, I’m kidding. Just a little joke. A little jokey joke. I’m playing by the rules now! You’ll see. Oh, you’ll see…”

“Right, Miss Jinx. Anyway, your visitor should be entering soon.”

“Wait, hold up. Wasn’t ‘visitors’ supposed to be plural?”

The orderly shrugged, failing to provide any answer at all beyond moderate indifference.

But who was it then? If not both Vi and Caitlyn, then which of them? Who had stayed behind, and why? If Vi had figured out a way to ditch the enforcer and see her sister on her own, then that was going to be better for everyone involved. But…

“What if it’s the other way around,” Mylo suggested. “That Kiramman shrew is coming to tell you you’re being cut off!”

“No,” Jinx cried. “She, they wouldn’t do that. Vi wouldn’t let her.”

“Wouldn’t she? It only took that saccharine scarecrow two days with your sister before Violet was completely smitten! Imagine how much worse it’s gotten since they put you in here.”

“No, you’re wrong!” Jinx insisted, but even she didn’t believe the words coming out of her own mouth.

“I beg your pardon?” one of the orderlies asked.

Jinx turned and glared at the worker. “Shut up! I’m not talking to you!”

“It’s okay,” Mylo mocked. “These guys are used to nuts with voices in their head. Probably barely even fazes them anymore.”

“Knock it off, boy,” Silco told him, making a grand appearance with a giant swoosh of his spectral cape. He had dressed up for the occasion, it looked like, and wasn’t afraid to show it. “Scaring her like that isn’t productive in the slightest. Jinx needs to be on her toes, prepared for whatever topsider villainy the Kiramman girl brings to bear.”

“But, my sister…”

The ghost of Silco shook his head. “I wouldn’t count on it.”

He was right. Of course Silco was right. Jinx had rarely known the man to be wrong about things like this. A pair of boots from the inbound visitor clacked their way through the halls, and it was far too neat and balanced to have ever been Vi’s.

And then a long plume of dark blue hair emerged in the doorway as Caitlyn poked her head in. There was a question on her lips, an “Am in the right place?” sort of look, but she quickly dropped pretense as her eyes locked on Jinx. From then on, her lips were pressed together in a thin, tight line.

“Where’s Vi?” Jinx asked flatly.

“Not here.”

“Told you she’s up to something!”

“Why not?” Jinx asked, ignoring Mylo’s interjection.

“Because.” Caitlyn grabbed a chair, then set her purse down on the floor. “Your sister does not know I’m here. I didn’t tell her I was coming.”

“Told you!”

“Why not?”

“Because Violet is currently under the impression that I am busy making funeral arrangements for my mother, which might as well be true. And depending on how this visitation goes, your sister is likely to remain with that impression.”

“Great!” Jinx sniped. “Starting your relationship out on lies? Ten outta ten, I gotta tell ya.”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “And what would someone like you know about fostering relationships? Have you ever, in your miserable life, even once managed to build something that lasts?”

“Don’t let her get to you. What you and I had… It was forever!”

“I know,” Jinx whispered under her breath. Then she raised her voice and sneered at the enforcer. “So, ya think you can keep Vi from finding out?”

“It isn’t my wish to,” Caitlyn replied, “But I will if it’s in her best interests.”

“Then why don’tcha just get it over with, huh? Stop paying for all these… white cells and white sheets and white food. Send me off to Stillwater! Isn’t that what you really want? Make me pay for what happened to your mom, and that Talis boy? The one I stole the crystals from? The crystal you were trying sooo hard to get back?”

Caitlyn shook her head. “No. I’m not letting you provoke me today. And actually, for your information, Jayce survived your attack, so congratulations on yet another failure.”

“Did he now?”

“Does that disappoint you?”

“Nah.” Jinx shrugged. “Didn’t even know the tower was loaded, if I’m being honest. Just thought it’d be fun to knock over, y’know? Like, the building alone was gonna be enough to make a statement, so any dead councilors were just the cherries on top! Kind of like a cupcake.”

“That-a-girl, Jinx!”

“Well?” Caitlyn asked. “Did it work?”

“What?”

“Your statement, Jinx. Do you think it a success, or did my mother die in vain?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Well, it’s stupid thing to blow up a building for no reason. So, which is it? Are you entirely off your rocker, or was there some small germ of a reason why you did it?”

“Not one you’d understand!”

“Try me,” Caitlyn offered. “As you might have noted from my current candor, I’m a lot more open to reasoning than you seem to assume.”

“Pfft. Sure. What happened to me being too far gone?”

“Jinx, you had just kidnapped me, and your own sister and father! How else was I to react in that moment?”

Jinx sighed and looked around the room, trying to find something to distract herself with, to latch onto instead of following the enforcer on her stupid line of inquiry, but nothing offered itself up. The room was simply too plain to give out any suggestion.

“Alright, Cupcake, you win. I’ll give you a story and tell ya whatever ya wanna hear. But then ya gotta let me have a chat with my sister! Deal?”

“No promises.”

“No?”

Caitlyn shook her head. “Why would I? I have all the leverage here, and it will remain that way.”

“She’s lying, Jinx. She came here for a reason. She needs you!”

“Then why bother? Something ya need me to blab about? New sheriff in town gonna promote’cha to deputy if you get the deets from me?”

“I’ve already been promoted,” Caitlyn answered calmly. “Frankly, it isn’t a duty I feel ready for, but the emergency council thought it fitting. Having said that, no, my only purpose here is my own edification.”

“Well, good for you! Must be nice.”

“Jinx, my mother is dead! Have you no decency at all!?”

“I dunno,” Jinx trolled. “Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me. ‘Cuz I thought, ‘cuz I was under the impression that when people die on the other side of the city where it’s far enough to be outta sight and out of mind, then it doesn’t count! And I didn’t see your mom die, so why should I care!?”

“Jinx…”

“Or, what, does it only work that way when it’s my mom that’s getting blown up?”

“That isn’t fair—” Caitlyn swallowed her words and rethought her approach. “What happened the night of your parents’ death, and many of the days since then, it’s a tragedy. No one is disputing that. And, I would think, if you had any shred of dignity, that you would be able to comisserate with someone else who lost their mother to such senseless violence.”

“So, that’s why you’re here,” Jinx deduced. “To suss out the sense of it all?”

“Have I not already said as much?”

“Oh, come on, Cupcake. Is there really even a funeral? Or’s that just part of the lie?”

“Yes, Jinx, and it’s happening this weekend. Not that that’s information you needed to know, as you would never in a million years be invited.”

“Is Vi going?”

“That’s not any of your business.”

“Then, what am I supposed to say? That Silco made me do it? Would it make you feel better if you got to get that on tape?”

“I’m not recording you,” Caitlyn clarified. “All of this is off the record.”

“Didn’t answer my question.”

Caitlyn shifted anxiously in her chair, which would have been the right time for Mylo and Silco to snipe at her, but they held their tongues.

“I just want to know why, Jinx, in totality and honesty. And then, with the truth out there, I can put my mother to rest and deal with it properly.”

“Heh. Has her ghost started visiting you yet?”

“What?”

“Her… like… shadow. Whatever. The part of them that stays after they go, has it started haunting you yet?”

“No. Jinx, that’s not a thing.”

“Says you! Bet you’ve never even known death before, so how would you know? Maybe you were too far away from her when it happened for her to latch on, so now she’s wandering out around town looking for ya!”

Caitlyn blinked confusedly several times, trying unsuccessfully to parse the suggestions Jinx was lobbing at her. “Do you mean to tell me, do you see hallucinatory phantoms — Visions of people that aren’t there anymore?”

“Don’t worry, Cupcake. You’ll get your own when you’re older.”

“Stop calling me that.”

Jinx smiled, and leaned back to stretch out in her chair. She was starting to like the direction their conversation was going! “Officer Kiramman, then? Oh, wait, ya said you’re promoted. Heh. How’d that happen? Did they run outta other people volunteering to be blowned up as sheriff?”

“Knock it off, Jinx. Caitlyn is fine, or Miss Kiramman. And I’m not here as an enforcer.”

“Well, maybe ya should’ve been!”

“Jinx, I can’t be both your warden and your patron. I’ve — ah — I’ve already chosen a side, and you have your sister to thank for that. So you could learn to be a sight more grateful, you know!”

“Thank you, Missus Kiramman, for not serving me my just desserts after I blew up your mom, totally by accident!”

“Fuck.” Caitlyn stewed on her thoughts for a while before deciding to mutter, “You’re being an asshole, Jinx. I’m trying to look past my own misery, and not envision you purely as my enemy, but all you’ve done since I got here is rub it in my face!”

“Then prove me wrong.”

“Me!? I have nothing to prove to you!”

“Oh, really…”

“Yes! What do I have to prove? That I, even as a topsider, am worthy of basic personable respect?”

“Nah. Respect is earned,” Jinx said. “Doesn’t get entitled to ya just for popping outta the ol’ babymaker!”

“Then that’s clearly where we disagree,” Caitlyn decided. “I happen to believe that every person, woman and man are owed the same fundamental dignity. It certainly has nothing to do with the actions they’ve taken.”

“Pfft. People only respect you when they love you or fear you. Nothing else.”

“That sounds like your father talking.”

Jinx nodded brightly, with a giant grin filling her face. She looked up to the side of the room to see Silco’s ghost beaming back at her. If Mylo tried to give his own snarky comment, it was drowned out from the sunshine of her father’s affection.

Caitlyn continued. “And I suppose you think he’d be proud of you?”

“I know he is.”

“Do you not understand how bad of a man he was, and how horribly it reflects on you to bear his flattery?”

“I understand why you’d think so,” Jinx said, “But it’s kinda rich coming from a Kiramman. Do I have this wrong, or does your family’s wealth come from selling guns, and charging people an insane amount of money for passing through the Pilt?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s an insane amount.”

“Well, the ships don’t got any other option, and you charge quite a lot more than the cost of operation, so your dead mom was totally dredging up the cash! It’s basically robbery when you think about it. Except, I guess, if you’ve got an army, then you’re allowed to call it business!”

“Are you done, Jinx?”

“You wanted to know why I did it,” Jinx told her. “The undercity’d been pushing back for forever, but topsider’s are stubborn, so it was time to shove!”

“I want to believe you,” Caitlyn said, “But I can’t. All of this blathering is prepackaged propaganda, and you don’t believe a single word of it.”

“No?”

“No! You’re merely clever enough to realize there’s a chance of me falling for it, which would let you escape any personal accountability. It’s convenient, isn’t it, blaming everything on the system for failing you?”

Jinx chuckled. “As convenient as turning a blind eye!”

“Alright, fine! Blame the system, Jinx. It has its problems, and we all know it. But why the fuck did you make it so personal?”

“Did I?”

“Yes! Even if I grant you that the Progress Day bombing could have been a coincidence, what about everything else? I hardly need remind you that you tried to shoot at me on the water tower, and again on the bridge even after you’d slaughtered fifteen of my colleagues. Then you kidnapped me, asked your sister to murder me, and launched a missile at my mother’s office! So how can you honestly expect me to believe it’s purely political for you?”

Jinx sat uncharacteristically quiet in her chair for a while, trying to sort through a hundred different versions of ‘It wasn’t my fault’ and ‘I didn’t mean it’ , but even she knew that that was bunk. Caitlyn had stumped her, and Jinx was completely flabbergasted.

A single, purplish tear ran down her cheek. Whether it was real, or just a defense mechanism, she couldn’t tell. Everything was getting all overwhelming and fuzzy again. The itch in her bones, the fire on her skin, and the hammers inside her skull had suddenly all raised up to a final fortissimo.

Caitlyn sighed. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought. Did you even know who my family was before you saw me with your sister? Or was that where it started for you?”

“I died on the bridge,” Jinx answered evasively. “It was that night when the boy savior zoomed through to buy you time, but he died too. Kinda poetic that we went out together, in a way. Except, my dad was too — He couldn’t let me go. None of you could. All I remember after that is you, Vi, and the doctor were all trying to hurt me, and save me!”

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t remember?” Jinx scoffed. “Going to the doctor’s and grabbing a fistful of syringes so you could pump me full of this shit!?”

“No, Jinx. That didn’t happen. We never went to any doctor with you. Not until, well, not until we brought you here.”

“What.”

“Do you remember it differently?”

Jinx nodded slightly, then wiped away a fresh set of tears that were running down her cheek. “I… I saw you.”

“Like you see the ghosts of dead people?”

“No, ‘cuz I knew you weren’t dead. But I felt it. When you and the doctor, you tied me down, poked me, that fucking hurt! Why didn’t you just let me die?”

“Jinx, I wasn’t there. The rest of that night, your sister and I had been struggling just to make it out alive, so it had to have been your father’s men that collected you.”

“But, no — No! You’re trying to confuse me!”

“I’m not, Jinx. If it would prove anything, I could pull up my pantleg now and show you where one of your butterfly bombs embedded itself in my thigh, though I hardly think that would count for evidence now after enduring half a dozen attacks in the past month.”

“Oh,” Jinx said slowly. “Is that why you were bleeding in the shower, when I—”

“—When you invaded my private time in the bathroom, forced me to don an enforcer dress, and absconded with me across the entire city, hogtied like some sort of hunting trophy?”

“Yeah.”

Caitlyn laughed dryly, taken aback by Jinx’s stark confession. “Well, if that’s genuinely what you believe had happened, then I suppose I should be grateful your retaliation didn’t include a reciprocal injection of Shimmer, or else we’d both be relapsing with hives. Lucky me that I managed to walk away with little more than a concussion and several new contusions.”

“She’s being sarcastic,” Mylo pointed out, as if it wasn’t obvious.

Jinx rolled her eyes and snapped at him. “Yeah, no shit!”

“I beg your pardon!?”

“Not you,” Jinx groaned. “And… No, nevermind. None of this matters anymore. You can go back to your mom’s deathday party. I’m sure she had lots of people who loved her and miss her, even though she was a horrible person!”

“She wasn’t horrible to me,” Caitlyn said in a low voice, surprisingly self-aware.

“Wow. What a concept! An absolutely terrible person makes an exception to be nice with their kid! Where have I heard that one before?”

Caitlyn nodded. “Was it the same between you and Silco?”

“Yeah…”

“We put up blinders for our families sometimes, don’t we?”

“Vi definitely does,” Jinx said. “Doesn’t wanna accept that I’ve changed. Just wants me to be that weak little girl! Something small and pitiful that she can protect.”

“Actually, Jinx, I don’t think that’s entirely true. When she talks about you, Vi loves boasting about your capabilities! She even claims you were able to make the rooftop run at age seven. It’s just… She doesn’t want you to be an angry person who takes her pain out on the people around them. That’s something she already hates about herself, and she hates seeing that you became the same as her.”

“Oh. Well, I didn’t know.”

“How could you? Both of you have gone through so much since you were separated, and you haven’t had the chance to talk since she got back.”

“That’s not my fault! I tried — but then the Firelights — and then I tried again when I brought everyone to the table!”

“Jinx, don’t kid yourself. You brought me and Vi to that table to make a point about something you had already decided. There was never going to be a real discussion.”

“Oh.”

“Am I wrong?”

Jinx shook her head slowly, her eyes cast down at the floor to hide her shame. “No.”

“So why did you do it? Why did you bring us to that place and make us go through what you did?”

“I — I wanted Vi to see that she’d already chosen you over me, ‘cuz she was lying! And — and I wanted your people to hurt as much as I was hurting.”

Caitlyn nodded somberly and took in a series of deep breaths to keep from crying. “Yeah. That’s about what I thought.”

Neither of the girls said anything else for a while. Jinx continued gazing at the floor as a flood of excuses filtered through her head, but all of them felt hollow. None of them rang with the truth.

“I don’t even know if it worked,” Jinx admitted. “It didn’t make me feel better. It didn’t make anyone feel better.”

“No,” Caitlyn agreed. “That’s not how revenge works. A wise woman once told me that ‘nobody wins in war’, so it was her life’s goal to broker peace between topside and the undercity.”

“Maybe,” Jinx said, “But nothing changes in peacetime either.”

“Yes, Jinx, that is the conundrum.”

“So what’re you gonna do?”

“I don’t know,” Caitlyn admitted. “But all this fighting and hatred is exhausting, and I’m tired of it. I just want to go home and mourn my mother. We can plan for the future after that.”

“We?”

Caitlyn shrugged. “The rhetorical ‘we’, I suppose. Me, my father, the enforcers, your sister — Even you deserve a voice.”

“Heh. I doubt that.”

“Jinx, I’m not saying we’re going to let you run around to treat the city as your playground, but you’re still a person. You still deserve some modicum of autonomy over your future.”

“Oh.”

“Can I ask how they’re treating you here? Is the Pembroke Institute being basically decent to you?”

“Depends on what you think counts as decent.”

“Not to put too fine of a point on it,” Caitlyn said, “But when your sister was in Stillwater, the guards there regularly abused and shunned her for a variety of reasons. And there are a lot of people in this city who think you deserve the same for what you’ve done, so I’m trying to make sure that none of those people are here.”

“Oh.”

“So everything’s okay? Treatment-wise, at least?”

“Um, yeah,” Jinx admitted. “I guess so.”

“Good.” Caitlyn stood up and smoothened out her dress, then reached down to grab her purse. “Well, I think that’s enough for me for today. I wouldn’t normally be in a hurry to leave, but I do actually have to handle these funerary preparations. Can I offer you a hug before you go?”

Jinx squinted, confused. “But I killed your mom…”

“And my father’s getting up there in his years. All the more reason for me to cling to what family I have left, no?”

“We’re a family?”

“Sisters, of a sort,” Caitlyn answered. “At least for as long as you want Violet to remain in your life.”

“You’re supposed to hate me!”

“I know, but that’s exhausting. And I’m already so, so very tired.”

“Don’t believe her!” Silco growled. “She’s leading you into a trap!”

But Jinx ignored the provocation. She didn’t care anymore. Not about appearances, nor the fact that the orderlies were going to pull them apart the moment she and Caitlyn leaned together. It was worth it just to try, to show that some desperate part of her craved that human connection.

“Okay,” she said. “I’d like that.”

As they embraced, Caitlyn admitted, “I was wrong earlier, by the way. Your recovery might have quite a long road ahead, but you’re not too far gone. And it’s not that I think my validation means anything to you, but I would hate to be yet another one of those voices in your head weighing you down. It sounds like you have enough of them already.”

“Yeah,” Jinx cried. “I do.”

Against policy, and against expectations, the orderlies let the girls stay connected for a while longer. So Jinx leaned into the warmth of the topsider’s touch, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of it all. She certainly was going to have a thing or two to say to Vi about it. Possibly even an apology, as dirty as that felt.

Caitlyn finally broke away after a brief eternity. There were tears streaming down her cheek, and a complicated, unreadable expression on her face.

“I’ve been told you asked to be allowed some paint,” Caitlyn said. “Do you understand that any vandalism you engage in will be expensed to my account?”

“I didn’t know.”

“That’s why I’m telling you now, Jinx. Do you understand?”

Jinx nodded slowly.

“Alright, then, I’ll approve it. You need some kind of outlet for your creativity, and being given some paint is a far sight healthier than the alternative.”

“Thank you, Caitlyn.”

“Don’t make me regret it.”

Chapter Text

“Evening Jinxie! Mind if I join you?”

Jinx looked up from her dinner to see the blonde Demacienne descending to the table. As before, Lux’s tray had been loaded up with a suspiciously high amount of meat — at least twice the normal portion than all of the other inmates were getting. But Jinx decided not to broach the subject.

“Oh. Hey.”

“Oh hey yourself. You’ve got a smile on your face, and I’ve barely even said hello yet! What’s the deal?”

“What? Nothing. Just happy.”

“Just happy, huh?” Lux teased. “Damn. Does that mean you don’t wanna bust out of here anymore? Am I gonna have to escape all on my own?”

Jinx laughed and shook her head. “No. And I Thought you needed my help?”

“To get out of here? Hmm. Maybe. It’s not gonna be easy, but I’d figure something out.”

“Uh-huh. Didja find anything useful on your tour of the premises today?”

“Excellent question!” Lux said. “But, before I answer, I believe I asked you first. What’s put that smile on your face?”

“Oh. It was just Caitlyn.”

“And?”

“And not Vi. Not my sister, like I thought it would be.”

“And how’d it go?” Lux repeated.

“Good. Sorta. She doesn’t hate me as much as she should, which is confusing. I thought it was gonna be a trap, but maybe she’s just like that? She, uh, they’re gonna let me get some paint so I can finally have some fun around here.”

“Oh? Excellent! That might come in handy someday.”

“For breaking out?”

“Sure!” Lux said. “You never know, right? Can’t hurt to keep all our options on the table. But — Oh! — If they give you any red, could we use it to make some fake blood?”

Jinx shook her head. “Not if you want it to be convincing. Paint and blood are a lot more different, ‘cuz of the way they dry and the way light hits ‘em.”

“Well, you’re the expert.”

“On blood or paint?” Jinx laughed. “Just kidding. I know it’s both.”

She returned to her food for a moment, digging at the assortment of poorly salted and under-spiced foods with her spork, and wondered how in the world anyone topside could consider it a palatable cuisine. Looking around, a lot of the other inmates seemed perfectly content with the blandness of the meal, as if it wasn’t trying desperately to avoid having a flavor profile. Or as if that wasn’t a bad thing.

Whatever this place turned her into, Jinx hoped it was never quite like that — Someone who passively accepted, or even preferred the boring life! The unseasoned meats, the colorless walls, and the nights without adventure. No, she was never going to let that happen.

Lux seemingly was of a similar mind. “Hey, are you keen to break a few rules tonight? I wanna show you something!”

Jinx smiled, looking up at her with a twinkle in her eyes. “You know I wanna say yes, but it depends. Am I gonna get caught?”

“Possibly.”

“‘Cuz they’re not gonna give me my paint if they know I’m breaking rules.”

“Well, okay,” Lux relented. “Then we’ll be super extra specially careful not to get caught. More fun that way, anyway.”

“Great!” Jinx said. “What’re we doing?”

Lux stared at her, quirking her eyebrows as if the answer was obvious. “Going exploring, of course! Jinxie, you haven’t gotten a chance to see the rest of the facility yet, nor all the lovely outdoor greenery. It’s fenced-in, obviously, but still quite nice. So I figured why wait weeks for your outdoor privileges to kick in when I could take you now?”

“I mean, yeah,” Jinx admitted, “That sounds nice, but I also like sleeping in a bed at night.”

“Oh, we won’t be locked out! I may have a little help in that department.”

Lux reached down from under the table and secretly procured a small metallic key. She held it under the palm of her hand, hiding it from the rest of the looky-loos in the room, then quickly put it away after she was sure Jinx had gotten a good glance.

“How?”

“It’s not that hard, really,” Lux explained. “Not when most of the management is completely in the dark about my light-bending skills, so they don’t know what to be on the look-out for.”

“So you just stole it out from under their nose, and they don’t even know it’s missing?”

“Yep!”

Jinx scrunched her face up, trying in vain to hide her disapproval. “Huh. I’m more of a ‘let them know it was me!’ type of criminal, if ya know what I mean.”

“Oh?” Lux giggled. “Interesting. So you — what? — Leave a calling card after every hit, or some sort of symbol?”

“Duh.”

“You’re too funny, Jinxie. I think I’m going to have to hang onto you after we get out of here! Purely for entertainment and aesthetic value, of course.”

“Don’t be too sure,” Jinx teased. “You haven’t even seen my art yet.”

“Wait, no,” Lux laughed. “That was — I was flirting. Trying to, at least. Because, um, I like looking at you.”

“Oh.” Jinx blushed a deep purplish red.

“Shit, am I really that bad at this?”

“No, I just read people wrong a lotta the time,” Jinx told her. “And, anyway, I don’t think my head’s in the right spot for that kind of thing right now. Any other month I prolly would’ve been super into it, but right now?”

“You’re in a time of healing. I understand.”

“Yeah.”

Lux beamed bright, her jewel-blue eyes sparkling like a pair of hexgems. “Hey, I can still work with that! Any chance you’re up for some fun tonight?”

“Sure,” Jinx chuckled. “Ready when you are.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

Lux pressed a hand to Jinx’s chest, and flattened her against the wall, trying to minimize both of their profiles as much as possible.

“Alright,” she whispered. “Let’s see if I can get this to work for both of us.”

Jinx snorted. “You’ve never done it with someone else before?”

“Pfft. No. Who was I gonna do it with back in Demacia? And all the other girls here in the Asylum? Well, you’ve seen ‘em. Not exactly pick of the litter.”

“Uh-huh,” Jinx teased. “So you were waiting for the right person?”

“Oh, hush up!”

Lux wiggled her middle and ring fingers gently, making carefully controlled vibrations through the air. As she did so, a sort of warbling, watery texture appeared in the room around them. The light was bending into a blanket of illusion, hiding the girls from the rest of the world by projecting the visage of an empty wall to any who happened to pass them by.

It wouldn’t be long before the orderlies made their final patrol, and Lux seemed to think that the hall monitors could be quite thorough in their search. So a magic trick it was, then! All Jinx needed to do now was sit around and wait for the event to pass, and pray that Lux’s illusion could continue to hold in its double-wide form.

“You’ve really never done this before?” Jinx repeated.

Lux responded with a shrill “ Shhh! No talking.”

“Alright,” Jinx laughed. “I’m done.”

But their urgency proved rather wasteful for a while. Several long minutes passed before anything remarkable happened, and the claustrophobia of pressing herself against the wall without being able to move was getting old.

And then, finally, when Jinx had almost thought she couldn’t hold it in any longer, the sound of an orderly’s boots click-clacked through the hall. In any other context, it might have been the most mundane part of the day, but here it was indescribably thrilling. Jinx sucked in against her teeth to hold her breath, careful not to make a single sound as the orderly passed by.

It was the light they noticed next. A pale blue electric torch was perusing the channel, casting long shadows against every cabinet and perturbation of the walls. But not Lux and Jinx’s form. The spell was holding strong, pushing every ray of light around them as if they had never been there.

So the patrolling guard stomped past at complete unawares, almost lazy seeming in the incompetence. Hey! There are two little naughty, curfew-breaking girls right here, right and ready for the punishing! But the orderly couldn’t see through the veil of illusion.

Another several minutes passed before the girls stepped out of hiding. It was safer that way, to ensure the orderly hadn’t doubled back, and that the entire patrol was over.

Lux moved first, peeling away from the wall and whispering, “I think that’s it. We should be clear.”

Her blanket of deception fell immediately, causing the girls both to be fully visible again. But there was no longer anyone around to see them. Having so handily evaded the institute’s enforcement, their current solitude was a simple pleasure. Jinx almost felt like a kid again, sneaking around The Last Drop or the Lanes well after she was meant to be in bed.

But she couldn’t think about that now. There was much to do with the Demacienne at her side!

“I still can’t believe you can just do that!” Jinx said. “How many other tricks have you got up your sleeve?”

A coy grin spread across Lux’s face as she answered. “Ah — It’s  a lot. But giving you the whole repertoire now would be a bit boring, wouldn’t it?”

“Boo! I don’t like surprises.”

“Oh, come on,” Lux laughed. “Don’t you trust me?”

“No.”

The flatness of Jinx’s answer caught Lux off guard, and she stopped dead in her tracks. “Wait. You don’t?”

“Not really, but I don’t trust anybody.”

“That’s a shame, Jinxie.”

“Well, why would I? Everyone betrays us, even the people we love. Maybe they don’t mean to, but that hasn’t stopped it from happening. So the best I can do is learn what they’re capable of and brace for impact.”

“Jinx, I swear I’m not planning to hurt you.”

“No, I know, but it doesn’t matter. It’s still gonna happen.”

“So, you trust that I’m not planning to betray you, or at least that I don’t intend to. Doesn’t that mean you trust me?”

“I guess.”

“Well, alright then! Let’s go have some fun.”

When Jinx relented, Lux grabbed her hand and led her down the hall. Lux was giggling playfully, brightening up the space even without the boost of her magic. Something about the woman was deeply intoxicating, and Jinx could feel herself getting reeled in by its allure. Worse, she wasn’t sure that she didn’t want it to happen.

At the end of the passageway was a door with a lock, but it quickly yielded to Lux’s stolen key.

“Ta-da!” she cheered. “And we’re out and away!”

A dark expanse of night opened up before them. It was a wall of shadows reaching out as far as the eye could see, but it felt like a well of opportunity to Jinx. The air was cold, crisp and clean, but not so bracingly frigid that Jinx wanted to run back inside. No, it was all refreshing, and indulgently exhilarating.

Jinx jumped forward and performed a cartwheel, then sprinted around on the lawn. Her muscles immediately punished her, having grown stiff from the past week of disuse and deterioration, but Jinx pushed through the pain and continued running the grounds.

“Hold up!” Lux laughed. “Where are you going?”

Jinx shot back, huffing and hyperventilating. “I wanna see how much there is! C’mon, Luxie, gonna gimme a light?”

“We can risk a little,” Lux told her. “But I’ll remind you that there are lots of windows on the buildings! So the other patients and doctors might see us if we’re too obvious.”

“Pfft. Okay. We’ll be sneaky then.”

Lux caught up to Jinx a moment later, but that had more to do with Zaunite’s fatigue than the Demacienne’s speed. What had originally felt like a brisk evening chill was starting to remind Jinx of the many ways her body was still falling apart, and had been ruptured over the course of recent events. That itchy, aching feeling in her bones was gnawing at her, begging her to slow down and give it a rest.

But she couldn’t. Not completely. Being out in the open again and smelling the fresh air of everything was too emotionally enticing to forgo it entirely.

And then she found her ending — The wall at the edge of campus. It stretched on for the entire perimeter, lining the institute with brick and iron in an ornate display. There were nooks, mantles, rims, bars, and every manner of handhold imaginable. But it was immensely tall, and there were rows and rows of iron spikes at the top to fend off the birds, so that was going to make things difficult.

“Eh, it mostly looks climbable,” Jinx decided. “We just gotta get up and over, right?”

Lux made a funny face as she stared up at the wall. “Hmm. I suppose so.”

“What, have you never scaled a building before?”

“All the time when I was a child,” Lux answered. “It became the running joke among my family that if you can’t find Luxanna, then you haven’t checked the library and the roof.”

“Heh. Nerd.”

“Oh, it’s even better if you combine them! I swear, Jinx, if you’ve never lain down atop a building and lost yourself in a good book, then you’re sincerely missing out!”

“Do the rafters count? There aren’t a ton of rooftops in the undercity.”

“No, I suppose there wouldn’t be,” Lux answered. “But tell me what you’re thinking about this wall. To be honest, I was hoping you could blow a hole in the lower section — one that we could crawl through — but do tell me if I’ve presumed too much!”

“Sure, but why are we ruling out climbing if you and I are both good for it? You think I’m gonna fall, don’tcha?”

“No, and I haven’t ruled it out,” Lux said. “But where’s the fun in disappearing in the dark of the night without anyone being the wiser? A bomb blast would make a much more powerful statement, don’t you think?”

“Yeah.” Jinx looked over the wall again, checking its nooks for places she could plant an explosive device. “But they’d prolly make Caitlyn pay for the damages. She’d be so pissed.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Lux asked. “I thought you said her family represents everything you fight against.”

“Yeah. I dunno. I used to think so, but she’s being way nicer to me than I deserve. Way nicer than I would’ve been if someone had just done what I did.”

“Oh. So… no blowing up the wall?”

Jinx shrugged. “Then again, it’s not like she’d feel it. Her family’s got way too much money, so one lousy wall repair’s gonna be a drop in the bucket.”

“I see. It sounds like it’s more the spirit of the thing: You don’t want to upset her any further.”

“Kinda? I dunno what I wanna do, Luxie. Everything’s gotten too confusing lately, and it doesn’t help that my brain’s in this stupid fog.”

“Then how about we sleep on it,” Lux decided. “We don’t have to commit to anything right away. Whether we blow the wall apart, find a way to get over the damned thing, or something else entirely — whatever you set your mind to, alright?”

Jinx nodded, then turned back the direction they had come from. “Betcha we could get a better view from atop the main building!”

“You mean scale the dormitory?”

“Yeah. You said you were good at climbing! Time to show me what’cha got, Missy.”

“Fine,” Lux teased. “But, if you’re in such a rush to see my athleticism at display, I can think of some bedroom activities we might get up to later!”

Jinx rolled her eyes. “Ha-ha, very funny.”

It was only half a minute later that the girls found themselves again at the foot of the dormitory building. Except they weren’t going back inside this time. Jinx pushed up against a giant stonework column and felt around its perimeter, checking for grooves to use as leverage.

“This’ll work,” she said. “Think you can manage it?”

Lux circled the pillar a handful of times, eyeing the different crevices that Jinx had identified. “Excellent. I’ll go ahead and follow your lead, but it looks manageable enough.”

Jinx stepped back and shook out her arms. They were feeling flimsier than normal — from the excitement and adrenaline, she assumed — but that had never perturbed her before. So she hopped forward and dug into the column’s grips. The grasp of it was predictably cold and smooth, but not untenable, so she shifted her weight and willed her way up.

“Alright, Princess, your turn!” Jinx called after she had managed a certain height. “Just do what I did, and don’t fall, ‘cuz I ain’t gonna catch ya!”

It was projection. Jinx’s limbs were shaking heavily, giving her more than a little doubt that she could finish the climb, but she pushed through it anyway, treating the fear as just a frustrating distraction. A naysayer, not a warning sign. She should have listened.

Lux clambered up underneath, mantling the pillar with surprising ease. “Ah! Amazing. I would’ve considered the windowsills for steps, but this works as well.”

“Yeah,” Jinx said. “But I didn’t wanna go past someone that’d see us.”

“No, I agree,” Lux told her. “This avenue was considerably more — ah — considered! How’s it looking up there?”

Jinx cast her eyes overhead, searching for and isolating a chain of points to grab onto. “Yeah, I can see the way. Got it all in hand, Luxie, so don’t worry about it!”

“Do I sound worried?”

“No, but, y’know. I got it, okay? I’m not weak.”

Lux exhaled loudly. Her face was too far away to be visible, but it sounded like quite the disappointed sigh. The kind that Jinx was used to hearing from everyone in her life, and had been expecting to happen with Lux as well. So, there it was: Lux was disappointed in her, and it had only taken a few days for it to happen. Was that a new record?

Jinx clawed into the next handhold, and the next, and the one after that, pulling faster and faster like she had something to prove. Her muscles might have been falling apart from the aftermath of untold volumes of Shimmer running through them, but that didn’t mean that Jinx couldn’t make it to the top. She was going to get there, going to prove herself, even if it killed her.

“Keep up, Luxie!” she taunted. “I’m way ahead of ya!”

Lux grunted, calling back, “It’s not a race!”

Oh, but it was. Jinx had decided as much already, and it was far too late to change her mind. “You’re just saying that ‘cuz you’re losing! Afraid a little city girl’s gonna show you up?”

“Jinx, it’s alright! Slow down.”

But she didn’t. Jinx kept at pace, feeling forward for the next place to plant her fingers and feet, ignoring the protests burning in every part of her body. It was a fool’s errand, but that wasn’t stopping her.

“Almost there!” she bragged. “Here we, uh, shit—!”

And then it happened.

A flare of pain rippled through Jinx’s arm. Brief, but long enough to make her miss her mark. Jinx’s hand slipped and skidded off where it had needed to be, sending the rest of her far off course and even farther away from safety.

Lux cried from down below, calling out her name, but it was too late.

Jinx was already falling, already veering away from the climb and spilling into the void.

Her scream was a tight gasp, short and shrill, and not overly loud. What ought to have been a blast of Jinx’s piping hot fear immediately cooled to a simple acceptance:

She had slipped,

she was dropping,

and she was going to die.

The raw night air rushed past Jinx’s face with its final goodbye. Both the sky and the ground were ignorant to her plight, indifferent to her acceptance of it, and intolerant to any resistance.

Jinx had once read a science book saying that what goes up must come down, but Lux was a mage, and fighting the natural order of things was what she did best!

A blinding flash of light filled the night. The symphony of a hundred resonant frequencies coalesced on a single note, each of them singing together. Jinx thought for sure that she had hit her head and was seeing stars, but the pain never came.

Instead, she collided with something far closer and softer than the ground could have ever been. A pair of arms wrapped around her, holding her, and slowing the descent to a gentle lull.

“Careful now,” Lux whispered. “I’m not ready to lose you yet.”

“Wh-what…?”

Jinx glanced around in every direction, trying unsuccessfully to understand what was going on, or how Lux was carrying her, and why they had somehow gotten suspended mid-air. They were floating in a giant column of light that had come from… from where?

Only Lux knew.

“You didn’t think I would let you fall, did you?”

“YOU CAN FLY!!??” Jinx snapped. “What the fucking fuck, Lux!?”

The Demacienne moved her arms carefully, adjusting her grip and shifting her weight. Then the ground and building walls each slowly fell away from them as the pair began to ascend. Everything was too surreal to fully appreciate, like they were in a dream. She was underwater, or being pulled by wires, or something just beyond the reach of normal!

It was entirely unnatural, yet Jinx couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be. For as long as the two of them were in the air, the rest of the world didn’t need to exist anymore. It was just her and Lux — this strange spark she had met in the lonesome dark.

Unless it was part of the magic, Lux’s arms were proving surprisingly strong! But then again, why shouldn’t it be? If Lux could supernaturally levitate herself, then what else could her magic carry around? The possibilities raced through Jinx’s head, with every idea spawning more questions than it answered, and she could feel her heart beating violently at the excitement of it all.

“You can fly!”

“I can,” Lux admitted. “A small amount, and it’s exceedingly situational, and it’s really more like I’m creating a homeostasis between the—”

“No, I hit my head!” Jinx interrupted. “That’s it — I’m dying, and I’m dreaming, and these are just the last pictures my mind wants me to see. The last daydreams.”

“Is it a good dream?” Lux chuckled affectionately.

Jinx took a while to answer. She looked around again, gathering her thoughts and watching the world fall away from them. “Yeah, not too shabby. I’ve had worse.”

The sweet release of letting go was at its peak. Jinx’s breathing slowed, and her mind began to quiet down. All that running away from herself, from getting help, she wanted to be done. She just wanted to keep being held, to have someone carry her through it.

It was a while later when their ride ended. As the very top of the building arrived, Lux gently stepped down from the air and touched the solid structure below. She loosened her grip, letting Jinx go and helping her stand.

“Here we are! Go ahead and let me know when you want to leave. I’ll do the honors.”

“What the fuck though,” Jinx laughed.

“Hm?”

“Luxie, you can FLY!!”

The Demacienne grinned bashfully, the corners of her mouth pulled sky high. “Are you so surprised? I told you there’s lots of things I can do, and generating lift is practically inevitable after you draft enough power, regardless of the element.”

“Yeah, but—” Jinx stuttered, unable to finish her thought. She scooted over to another side of the roof, and sat down where there was a good vantage to see the Pembroke Institute’s campus.

Lux meanwhile scrambled to pick up a bit of metal that Jinx initially mistook for a pipe or lightning rod of some sort. Its true nature appeared when Lux held it aloft: It was an ornamental scepter with crisscrossing patterns on both ends. Lux gave it a quick twirl, then chuckled again in a self-satisfied way.

“Good to see you again, old friend,” she muttered.

Jinx looked up and down at the staff, trying to figure out its nature and origin. “So… That clearly belongs to you, or came from the same place you come from. Lemme guess, this isn’t your first time up here?”

“On the roof? No,” Lux admitted. “I like to come up here and practice my spellwork where no one will see me. And this wand of mine helps me focus arcane energies, letting me perform much larger conjurations without as much risk of splashback.”

“Right,” Jinx said slowly, still processing it all. “Were you ever gonna tell me any of this?”

“Hmm. Should I have?”

“Uh, yeah! It’s kind of a big secret to keep.”

“All the more risk if I’m found out.”

Jinx paused for a moment to begrudgingly accept Lux’s answer. “Wait, when you say splashback, are you saying you can hurt people with your light?”

“Oh, yes, I can hurt lots of things! People, buildings, or almost anything that gets in my way.”

“How big of a splashback are we talking?”

“Big.”

Jinx stood up from her perch and glanced out on the horizon, trying to parse the distant skyline of Piltover. They were in the northern foothills outskirting the city now, which was entirely new to her, so she’d never seen the skyline from this perspective. Even so, she could tell that something was missing from the silhouette. The city’s current tallest structure was the hexgate, and it ought to have been something else.

“Big enough to burn a hole in the heart of the city?”

Lux moved closer to Jinx and rested a spare arm on her shoulder. “Not quite that large. What you did to the tower’s a bit beyond the scope of my skill.”

“Good to know,” Jinx answered. “Wait, how do you even find out what the max you can do is? There’s no, uh… It doesn’t have any science.”

“Easy,” Lux explained. “It’s like any other feeling, like how you know when something’s the hottest you can handle, or the hungriest your stomach can be.”

“So it hurts? Pushing the limits?”

“More like it’s stressful. Tense.”

“Oh.”

Jinx turned her attention again to the city in the distance, and a morbid curiosity took hold of her. How many other buildings could she destroy? How much more of the city’s skyline could she flatten to smoke and rubble? If she had her gun right now, if she had Fishbones, then there was a clear line of sight to the hexgate and several other high-profile establishments.

But she didn’t have her weapons. Not like Lux, apparently, who had managed for some reason to stow her magic wand up on the rooftop. Which meant what? That Lux had already come and gone from the facility before? Or had Lux secreted it away before her internment? Because it couldn’t be that someone else smuggled it in for her. Unless, well, could it? There were so many things about the Demacienne that Jinx just didn’t know, and it felt like every revelation only brought more questions. So she asked one.

“Hey, Luxie, why are you here?”

“At the Asylum?”

“Yeah, duh. You could’ve magicked yourself over the fence, or lasered a hole through the wall. So, what’s the deal?”

“Hmm. It’s complicated.”

“Yeah, no shit!”

Lux burst into laughter, but it was the sad kind of chortle that can easily be mistaken for crying. “Believe me, Jinx, I’m more trapped than you assume. The walls that hold us in, they aren’t always physical.”

“Well, I’m listening.”

“If I ever left for good, the Asylum would have to tell my family, and the Crownguards would send their trackers to fetch me. Oh, if you’ve never had the royal guard hunting you down, you’re not missing out! And, besides, I’d be a stranger in a strange land with no title to my name and no marketable skills. What would I do, and where would I go?”

“Okay,” Jinx said. “Then how do I fit into all of this?”

“Well, I was thinking — and tell me if this is stupid! — but, given your reputation, I was thinking they might decide you kidnapped me. And maybe they would consider me a lost cause at that point, and allow me to rot in your dungeon where I can’t hurt anyone.”

“Sheesh.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lux groaned. “It sounds stupid when I say it out loud.”

“Luxie, I don’t have a dungeon. Although, alright, okay, my workshop kinda is like a dungeon. ‘Cuz it’s dark, hidden away, full of traps, et cetera.”

“So then let’s do it!”

“What? Pretend to kidnap you?”

Lux shrugged. “It’s exciting, right? Then, once we’re out, we can go and do wherever we want! You’ll show me the city, and I’ll show you the other skills I have.”

“It’s not gonna work,” Jinx said. “Even if your guardians don’t hunt you down, mine will. And they’re not gonna believe you kidnapped me, so they’ll know I got out.”

“Oh. I see,” Lux answered, her tone surprisingly dejected.

“Wait, Luxie, what if we kill each other?”

“What?”

“Think about it!” Jinx said. “The only way they’re not gonna come looking for us is if we're dead, so we just gotta figure out how to die!”

Lux pulled away uneasily. “Please, please tell me you only mean it as pretend — That we’re only pretending to die.”

“Well, duh, but it’s gotta be convincing.”

“I’m — um — How convincing? Because you already ruled out painting a splatter of fake blood.”

Jinx shrugged. “It’d be best if they found our bodies, or something we can trick ‘em into thinking’s our bodies. Something that says ‘yup, those two bozos are dead!’ and lets us live in peace.”

“Are you mocking me? Trying to discourage me from leaving?”

“No, but I’m just saying. If the goal’s to make someone stop looking for ya, you gotta make ‘em think you’re not alive anymore!”

“Shit. You’re right. Now my plan sounds stupid.”

“What was it?”

Lux gave a halfhearted shrug and shook her head. “I thought if you helped me blow a hole in the wall, then we could use the paint and make it look like you and I got into a fight — something that made it look like I defended myself before you kidnapped me.”

“Yeah, no. I don’t think that’d stop ‘em from looking for us.”

“Then let’s just cut to the chase,” Lux said. “I could carry you across the wall! And we could run away to Ionia, or Bilgewater, or some place they’ll never think to look! We’d have to start completely fresh, but maybe that could be a good thing. We could make new connections, eat new food, learn new trades. It’d be such an adventure, but I think the two of us are up for it! Right? With the two of us?”

“Why?” Jinx said. “How is being on the run any better than where we are now?”

“Because we’d be free! We’d be out there making our own choices about what to do and where to go.”

“Luxie, I don’t wanna be a whole new person. I can’t run away like that and run from everything I’ve ever known or cared about. And I get that it sounds exciting to you, but I’m done running away. Done with everything. If I can’t make it work with what I’ve got, then I don’t wanna bother.”

“Jinx, that sounds li—”

“I know what it sounds like!” Jinx snapped. “I’m not — ugh — This isn’t easy for me. I’m not deadset enough on staying alive to put that much effort in. It’s… I dunno.”

Lux held her tongue, or didn’t have anything to say — Jinx couldn’t figure out which, and the thrumming pain in her brain was only making the process worse.

“Do you hate me?”

“No, of course not,” Lux answered delicately. “You’re giving me a lot to think about that I hadn’t considered before. Maybe we should sleep on it.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, but I’m carrying you,” Lux warned. “Whatever it was that caused you to slip, I don’t want a repeat of that tonight.”

“Or ever,” Jinx muttered under her breath. “I can feel this thing inside me getting worse, Luxie, and I really don’t know how to fix it besides smuggling some Shimmer in.”

Without answering, Lux circled behind Jinx and wrapped the fragile girl in her arms, readying to whisk her away on another magical ride through the sky.

But it had lost the warm, whimsical allure of the previous ride. By the time they touched down on terra firma again, Jinx was ready for the night to be over. She watched begrudgingly and noiselessly as Lux fished out her stolen key and re-opened the entrance to the dormitory.

“Oh, fuck!” Jinx gasped as the doorway parted.

Standing there in the otherwise empty foyer was another patrolling orderly.

“What’s all this, then!?” the orderly barked. “A couple of curfew breakers?”

“We were just—” Lux tried to explain, but the orderly cut her off.

“Save it! I’ll have you both returned to your rooms and written up with citations. Flagrant disregard of scheduled bounds and — what’s this? — How do you have a key? That’s double citations for you, Crownguard!”

“I just found it tonight!” Lux lied. “We were on our way to return it to its rightful owner.”

The orderly stretched out a hand palm-faced up. “Give it here. Now! Or that’ll be a third citation.”

Lux slowly obliged and relinquished her treasure. “Please, if we can keep this off the record, I don’t want Jinx to be punished.”

“And skirt the rules? Absolutely not. You know the terms of internment, Crownguard. That’s back to your rooms for the both of yous, and privileges forfeit for the week.”

With an apologetic glance, Lux turned to Jinx and whispered, “Sorry.”

“I know, Luxie. I know.”

Chapter Text

Lux didn’t show up for breakfast. Jinx waited impatiently, sitting at their usual table for the entire mealtime hour and hoping that Lux had simply elected to sleep in an extra half hour or so. A mundane reason like that could excuse the tardiness, waved off with a simple joke or funny story, but instead Lux just never arrived.

And it wasn’t like the Demacienne was known to miss a meal. Every other time that she and Jinx had eaten together, Lux inexplicably showed up with a double portion of meat, dessert or other delicacy. So it didn’t make sense for her to have skipped!

As a hundred different questions raced through Jinx’s mind, her ghosts were giving her the worst of it. Above all else, she wanted them to shut up and leave her alone, but the ghosts’ suggestions were far too plausible-sounding to entirely ignore.

“She left you!” Mylo kept saying. “Took that magic flying power of hers and rode out to the sunset!”

Jinx needed him to be wrong. It didn’t make sense for Lux to leave when she still had the threat of her family hunting her down. But what if Lux had decided to take that risk anyway?

“You were the best thing that ever happened to her, and you totally dropped the ball! I mean, I’m not trying to be cliché, but let’s call a spade a spade here. You jinxed it!”

He was lying, or wrong. He had to be.

Still, even as the agony of not knowing intensified, there was no means for Jinx to prove otherwise. So the temptation arose to run around and ask the other inmates if anyone had seen or heard from Lux, but most of those in the café were still avoiding eye contact with Jinx. Or, even worse, some of the inmates were giving the Loose Cannon far more attention than she was comfortable with. So starting a line of inquiry was a nonstarter.

If anything had happened to Lux, one of the nurses or orderlies were likely to know, but none of them were allowed to answer questions like that. All they’d say is how another patient’s status is privileged information, or not conducive to Jinx’s rehabilitation, or something equally annoying and doctory like that.

The anxiety continued to riddle Jinx for the next several hours until she was ushered to her therapist’s appointment. The guards clung close to Jinx’s side as they went, trying to make sure that none of her funny ideas and escape plans could begin to see the light of day. But it didn’t matter. Jinx didn’t have anywhere else to go, nor anyone else to go with.

Worse, the condition of her body was only continuing to decline. What little remained of her organs was struggling to cope as the last vestiges of Shimmer metabolized out of her bloodstream. Sometimes it felt like she could hardly breathe, or walk, or anything a healthy person takes for granted. But then a burst of energy would hit, and the pain faded to gray, blurring away the noise.

“They need to give you a mild dose,” Silco warned her. “You’ll die again without it.”

“I’m gonna die anyway,” Jinx muttered to the empty therapy room.

“Then let it be on your own terms! I didn’t save you just so you could rot away in this prison.”

Jinx rolled her eyes, and rolled around on the chair she was sitting in, waiting impatiently for the therapist to make a grand entrance and interrupt her demons. Jinx just needed someone to talk to, even if it was a stuffy, boring Piltie in this stuffier and boringer room.

“You know I’m not going away,” Silco reminded her. “You’re only making it worse for yourself when you don’t engage.”

“Oh, yeah!?” Jinx sniped at him. “You go away when Luxie’s around! Why is that, huh?”

“Do I?”

“Yes! I never see you or the others when she’s here. So why don’t you fucking pretend this is one of those times and leave me alone!”

“You can’t trust her, Jinx. You need me.”

“Yeah,” Jinx grumbled. “Been hearing that one a lot lately. And from a lotta different people, too. Some of you are liars… Or maybe all of you are. I’m too tired to figure it out anymore. I just want to be done.”

“That’s quitter talk!”

“Yup.”

“Jinx, you don’t have to be weak. You can be strong like I’ve always believed you would be! You only need to let go of the things that weaken you — your old life, this new girl, and whatever drugs they’re filling you up with now — all of these things are holding you back from the champion I know you can be!”

“I don’t care,” Jinx sighed. “I never wanted to be the heroine of the undercity, or Zaun, or any of it! I just wanted you to think I was good enough. And it never was, and now there’s nobody left.”

“Am I not still here?”

Jinx gave a sniffle, shrugging and shaking her head. “It’s not the same. You know that!”

“What’s not the same?” someone interrupted.

The therapist had finally arrived. She pulled up to her chair with a plate containing her lunch, then sat down and left the food on her desk without comment.

“Oh, it’s you,” Jinx scoffed. “Doctor… Whateveryournameis.”

“Jinx, I know you know my name. It’s—”

“NO! Don’t tell me. I’ll only end up growing attached, and then you’ll leave me like everyone else does, and it’ll be my own stupid fault for how fucking bad it hurts at the end.”

The therapist paused for a while, studying Jinx’s face like some sort of zoo animal. “Hang on, have you seen the physician today?”

“No.”

“Jinx, you’re looking quite ill, and it worries me.”

“Yeah, no shit, Doc! I’m dying, and none of the quacks here are crazy enough to gimme any Shimmer, so I’m just gonna keep dying more and more every fucking day.”

“No, that’s not okay. I think we should put this session on hold until you’ve seen a physician. You’re really concerning me.”

“And you’re not listening!” Jinx snapped. “Nothing they’ve got’s gonna help me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Don’t I!? Everyone always thinks I don’t know what I’m talking about, or I’m not smart enough to understand these things. ‘Cuz you all act like I’m a child, but I’m not! I-I know how medicine works, and I’ve been around enough Shimmer to know how it works too.”

The therapist nodded slowly as she came to a begrudging understanding. “Then how can I help?”

“You can’t. Nobody can.”

“Jinx, I’m serious, you need medical attention. You have to let someone at least try.”

“Why?” Jinx groaned. “So I can keep living this shitty life for a few more days? No thanks.”

The therapist raised an eyebrow. “Am I imagining things, or are you upset with more than just the state of our medical facilities?”

“No.”

“Well, then what? Did something happen?”

“I dunno,” Jinx said. “Nobody’s telling me!”

“Telling you what? Does this have anything to do with yours and Miss Crownguard’s rendezvous last night? Because I’ve been made aware that the two of you attempted to vacate the premises.”

Jinx shrugged. “Yeah, attempt . Looks like she was successful.”

“You think Miss Crownguard left the care of the Pembroke Institute?”

“It’s Crownslayer, and yeah.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because she got the king of Demacia killed. Duh. Not a very good guard if you’re stabbing the crown in the back, right?”

“No, Jinx, I meant that — Wait. What?”

“Never mind. It’s her story to tell,” Jinx said. “It doesn’t concern me, so I dunno if I should say anymore.”

“Hold on, Jinx. To be clear, you’re accusing Miss Luxanna of having been involved in the assassination of King Jarvan the third?”

Jinx rolled her eyes. “Why the surprise? Don’tcha got lots of criminals locked up in here?”

“Jinx, it’s an incredibly heavy thing to accuse someone of, and it isn’t the first wild accusation you’ve made either. Earlier, you alleged that your primary patron forged a council member’s paperwork to get your sister out of prison.”

“Am I supposed to be apologizing for having an interesting life? You already know I blew up most of the council, and that the Kirammans bent over backwards to get me in here instead of the quick grave I deserve. So what part of that’s not tracking for you?”

“Well, I wonder if you have to fantasize your situation to be more radical than it actually is, and if you’re doing so to help justify the actions you’ve taken.”

“No. No way,” Jinx said. “The only ones fantasizing are all you Pilties who keep pretending the rest of the world’s as boring as you are.”

The therapist sighed, easing back in a mix of frustration and annoyance. “Then let me get back to my question. What I was trying to ask is, why do you believe that Miss Luxanna has left the Institute?”

“‘Cuz last night we could’ve flown the coop if we wanted to, and the only reason she didn’t’s ‘cuz I was too chicken, and then one of the guards snooped us out.”

“You’re telling me that you found a means of circumventing the safety perimeter?”

“Yeah,” Jinx said, “And I should’ve gone with her, but I didn’t. And now she’s out on her own and it’s all my fault.”

“You know this because…?”

“Why else!? Because she wasn’t at breakfast.”

“Jinx, I don’t think that’s a good enough reason. Patients sometimes forgo meals when they’re under emotional duress. If it’s as you say, and you denied Miss Luxanna this opportunity, have you considered that she needed some time to herself?”

“Pfft. No. She’s just gone. I know it.”

“That’s right. She left you.”

Jinx grit her teeth and avoided looking up at the apparition. She wanted to tell him to shove it again, but not with the doctor in the room. No, because then whatsherface would keep thinking Jinx was crazy, and wouldn’t believe that Lux had actually managed to escape the asylum.

“Would it help if you talked to me about what happened last night?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh yeah, plenty! You’re just gonna snitch on me and get me in even more trouble. Except, oh wait, you can’t! ‘Cuz I already got all my privileges taken away. Not that I even had many to begin with…”

“I’m not here to get you into trouble, Jinx. I only want to help.”

“She’s lying!” Silco hissed. “She’ll claim you’re a danger to yourself, voiding her of any promised confidentiality!”

“Jinx, do you believe me?”

“Oh, uh…” Jinx shook herself out of her stupor. “Yeah. Sure. Whatever, Doc.”

“Then can we talk about what happened last night?”

“Mmm, no. It’s not my secret to share, and I don’t wanna lie to you. So you’d only get the super-redacted version.”

The therapist smiled softly. “I can work with redactions.”

“Oh.”

“If you’re comfortable, can we start with why you wanted to leave in the first place?”

“No, I don’t, but…” Jinx hesitated, parsing her thoughts to try and find a reason. “I didn’t wanna leave! It’s just that Luxie does, or did, and she wanted my help, so I was gonna see what I could figure out. Then it turns out she doesn’t even need me. Not really. So, she just… She’s gone.”

“If that’s true, it sounds like she wanted a friend.”

“More than friends, but yeah. She was kind of obsessed with me.”

“Does that happen to you a lot?” the therapist asked. “I must confess I’m not particularly aware of the undercity’s culture, so I don’t actually know if your actions make you a celebrity down there.”

“Sorta,” Jinx admitted. “But usually the people who know me know to stay away.”

“Then what were you hoping to get from last night’s escapade?”

“I dunno. Who cares? Maybe I just wanted to stretch my legs ‘cuz it’s been so stuffy in here. Or maybe I really liked the attention she was giving me, even if I pretend not to. Does it matter?”

“The specifics are less important, but I’m glad to see you had healthy aspirations mixed in there. Was any of that successful?”

Jinx rolled her eyes stubbornly. “Yeah, I mean, parts of it. Well, except the bit where we got caught, and the part where I almost died. But everything else was great!”

“You almost died?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter. Luxie… Lux saved me. So, ta-da, I’m still here! Still in this stupid place with my stupid body.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

“No.”

“Well,” the therapist said, “Are you upset that you were rescued?”

“Oh, no, Doc! Definitely not. I mean, why would I be? ‘Cuz being alive is so fucking great!”

“Jinx, the sarcasm isn’t helping.”

“And I told you already, I don’t care.”

“Very well, then.” The therapist turned to her desk and grabbed the food from her plate, making a clear impression that she had no need to continue their conversation.

So Jinx sat back and waited for what felt like several minutes, trying to get the therapist to give up and say something else, but it never happened. And, without a topic to focus on, Jinx’s attention was starting to drown in the itchy, scratchy feeling in her bones, the one that told her she didn’t have much longer to live, and every moment of it was going to be increasing in agony.

“Ya know,” Jinx said, “You’re gonna run out of food eventually. And then you’re gonna have to say something!”

In answer, the therapist turned to grab a book from her shelf and spread it out on her desk. Its message was obvious: She had plenty else to busy herself with instead of talking to Jinx.

“Fine! Then I’m gonna leave.”

The therapist nodded. “Just tell the orderlies. They’ll take you back to your room.”

“No!” Jinx demanded. “You’re supposed to be stopping me, helping me! Anything!”

“And I can’t do that if you don’t want me to, so I’m giving up.”

“That’s not — NO! It’s your job, isn’t it? You don’t get to give up!”

“But you do?” the therapist asked.

“Yeah.” Jinx sat back down and slumped in her chair. “Look, Doc, I’ve done a lotta fixing stuff in my time, so I’ve got a pretty good idea of when something’s able to be repaired and when it’s not. And, I’m telling ya, I can’t do it. I can’t fix whatever’s wrong with me.”

“What kind of tools do you use?”

Jinx hesitated, eying the therapist suspiciously. “For what?”

“When you repair things — I’m assuming you mean machines and gadgets, mostly — what kind of tools do you use?”

“Depends on how it’s broken.”

“Give me an example.”

“Uh, okay,” Jinx said. “Well, if it’s two pieces of metal, usually you gotta weld it together, or screw it. You can use staples for softer stuff. And sometimes you gotta take apart whatever you’ve got with a screwdriver and fiddle around inside before putting it back together.”

The therapist nodded, and jotted down a few notes on her paper. “Jinx, in your first two examples, could you ever weld something that needed stapling, or vice versa?”

“No. Not unless—” Jinx chuckled. “Actually, no, not even then.”

“What would you do if you saw a problem that you recognized needed welding to be mended, but you didn’t have your welding kit? What would your next step be?”

“Why don’t I have my welding kit?”

“That’s not the focus of this experiment. Perhaps you lost it, or never had one in the first place.”

“Fine,” Jinx said. “Then I go get one. ‘Cuz welding without a soldering iron’s about as useful as painting with a hammer!”

“Is there nothing else you can try? Perhaps you have some strips of rubber adhesive at your disposal, or clamps and cable ties.”

“Pfft, no. Do that if you don’t want any structural integrity. Best case scenario, you can get it to stand up for two seconds, but it’ll fall apart again at the tiniest bit of stress!”

“Interesting,” the therapist said. “Then I agree. You should probably try to find that welding kit again.”

“What’s your point, Doc?”

“Jinx, our emotional problems are not so different from your mechanical ones. They all require their own tools to begin mending them, and you can’t get the job done if you’re ill equipped to handle it. What I’m saying is this: If you don’t believe you can fix the problems in your head, then it’s possible you’re trying to weld a tapestry that needs a sewing needle. So I want to help you find the right tools for repairing what’s wrong.”

“It’s a lot easier said than done,” Jinx grumbled.

“Of course it is, as most things tend to be. But I can be here to help you through a lot of it.”

“No, I mean, I know I could do it if everything was okay, but things are never gonna be okay again.”

“How do you mean?”

“‘Cuz my body wants to give up and die any minute now, and no amount of fancy words is gonna change that! Everything that’s been wrong in the world is gonna keep being wrong. So I’ll just have to keep fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing…”

“Is that unusual for you? Personally, I’ve never known anything to last forever.”

“No, obviously not. But it’s a lot easier to predict when and how a wagon wheel breaks than why a heart does.”

“So, in this analogy,” the therapist said, “You prefer to avoid using the wagon altogether?”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“That’s fair, Jinx, and it might even work out alright for you on an individual level. However, I’d like you to imagine a world where there were no wagons at all — No carts, no wheels, nor anything of the sort — Does that seem like a place you want to live in?”

Jinx bit her lip, and her eyes darted around the room looking for an answer. “No. I guess not.”

“Why not?”

“You know why!” Jinx said. “And making me repeat it’s just bullying me.”

“Jinx, it’s important to our cognition that we verbalize our truths. TWhen you force yourself to say something out loud, your brain considers the subject on a broader level and is able to internalize it better.”

“Is this one of those tools you were talking about?”

The therapist nodded.

“Fine,” Jinx huffed. “I don’t wanna live in a world without wagons, ‘cuz that’d suck ass, so that means I gotta do my part, even if it means fixing the fucking wagon wheel every time it falls apart.”

“There we go! That was progress, Jinx.”

“No it’s not.”

“No?”

“Doc, I’m just saying what’cha wanna hear. It doesn’t change the fact that some of us live on bumpier roads with shittier carriages that’re gonna fall apart a hundred times as often as topsider carts. Where’s the fairness in that, huh? ‘Cuz it’s so fucking easy to tell me ‘keep repairing the wheel, Jinx!’ when you barely ever gotta fix your own.”

The therapist exhaled slowly, studying her patient carefully and drumming her fingers on the desk. “I hear you, Jinx, and I see what you’re saying. There are — ah — challenges that some of us experience which keep the situation from ever being fair. However, even when the odds are stacked against you, I believe you owe it to yourself to keep trying, and to give it your best effort.”

“Why?” Jinx muttered. “Shouldn’t what I owe myself be my own decision?”

“You’re right. Ultimately it is your choice. And, if you decide that you don’t deserve your best efforts, then nobody else can force you to give them. I’m only encouraging you to try.”

“What!? Don’t you think I have been? I’ve tried so many times! And, I just, I don’t know how much more I can do it when it never works.”

“Well, I want you to try again with the right tools this time.”

“What? A better hammer?”

“If you keep falling apart, maybe you need to deconstruct the problem and build a better foundation. For example, perhaps the problem isn’t your wagon’s wheels, nor the bumpy road, but the lack of suspension devices to soften the blows.”

“Oh.”

“Converting a cart with no suspension to one that has it is quite a lot of work, and puts the carriage out of operation in the meanwhile, but the results can more than make up for it. So, what I want to ask you now is, are you willing to undergo personal deconstruction on that level?”

“Pfft. Sure,” Jinx mocked. “Let’s deconstruct me! Wait, Doc, how far back you wanna go? Want me to dump all my childhood trauma on you?”

“We can start there if you’re willing to talk about it,” the therapist said.

Jinx looked at her, unsure of herself, then started to laugh. “Well, my real parents died when a bunch of your people killed them!”

“Jinx, this may come as a surprise to you, but I haven’t been in northside for very long. Actually, my family grew up by the docks, and both my parents were alcoholics. My father’s been a gambling addict for as long as I’ve known him, and my brother too, at least until he ran afoul of the Slickjaws.”

“Yeesh. Then—” Jinx realized, “Big bro prolly didn’t make it.”

“Little brother. And no, he did not.”

“Oh. Um. Sorry.”

“Forgive me,” the therapist said. “I’ve overshared and been unprofessional.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” Jinx told her. “If it makes ya feel any better, the Slickjaws aren’t doing too hot these days! According to some highly reputable sources, their captain got decapitated a couple weeks ago!”

“Jinx, I appreciate you informing me, but it won’t bring Barry back. What else can you tell me about your parents’ passing?”

“Besides the obvious? I don’t even remember any of it. I could barely walk at the time!”

The therapist nodded, returning to her notes for a moment. “Have there been others who explained the events to you?”

“Yeah. My sister, my other dads, and lotsa people in the Lanes. The revolution wasn’t exactly a secret.”

“Are some of these the same ones you talked about in our last session? You said, if I wrote it down correctly, ‘The people I want to be with don’t exist anymore’ . But I have it on good authority that Violet is very much alive.”

“Yeah,” Jinx grumbled, “But she didn’t show up to visitation yesterday, and it’s not the first time she’s abandoned me either. So I’m just calling it like it is, Doc. The person my sister used to be doesn’t exist anymore.”

“Can you tell me about the first time you felt like she abandoned you?”

I only wanted to help. Why did you leave me?

The memory simmered in Jinx’s head, a chaotic and fractured recollection. It was blotting out her other thoughts completely, overwhelming her with all the convoluted strings of anger, misery, confusion and disappointment.

“I was saving them,” Jinx cried. “And, and it didn’t work, so my sister got mad, and she left me. I mean, not really, but I thought she did. And I’ve been so mad at her for so long, I don’t know how to not be mad anymore.”

“What happened, then?”

Jinx shrugged inconclusively, and wiped a tear from her eye. “It was one of your — no, one of the topsiders. He took her and locked her away in Stillwater ‘til Cupcake broke her out.”

“Who’s Cupcake?”

“The enforcer lady. Deputy Kiramman, or whatever she is now. That’s what Vi calls her.”

“Jinx, are you lying to me?”

“No! I don’t — That’s not my style.”

“So, if I have this straight,” the therapist said, “A member of the state arrested your sister, which landed her in prison, and then a different member coerced the guards to let the prisoner go, and now this second one is dating your sister?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you understand how implausible that sounds?”

“Only if you don’t believe the enforcers are corrupt to their core! Yeah, I can see why you’d think that. Topsiders already sterilized every other part of you!”

“Jinx, please don’t attack me when I’m trying to understand.”

“What’s to understand? You grew up southside, right? So you know what the enforcers are like!”

“I do,” the therapist agreed, “And I share your concerns for the way they’re employed south of the bridge. I’m simply stating my surprise that any of them would release your sister after all this time.”

“Oh.”

“Have they told you how it happened?”

“No,” Jinx said flatly. “I guess I didn’t ask. I just thought, y’know, ‘cuz my sister was working with one of them, that — Well, you know what I mean!”

“Please, Jinx, finish your thought.”

“Fuck! Okay. I thought they’d gotten to her. They were tricking me! It was the only thing that made sense, right? Isn’t that what you just said? That it doesn’t make sense for Caitlyn to do that? I mean, I’m not crazy, am I?”

“Let’s not use the C-word as a barometer,” the therapist advised. “If this story as you’ve presented it is at least a majority correct, then your suspicions are valid. It would be highly unusual for someone in ethos enforcement to release an inmate without an ulterior motive.”

“See! That’s what I thought.”

“It sounds like you need to talk to your sister and work out these misunderstandings.”

“I’ve tried,” Jinx said, “But she thinks I’m — ugh — She’s just gonna do whatever Cupcake says. And now, ‘cuz of last night, they’re not even gonna let me see anyone. So I don’t have Lux, I don’t have Vi, and I don’t have anyone except these stupid voices in my head! And they’re not even real…”

The therapist sat back and reached for her notes. “We’re almost out of time for today, but I’d like to try something if you’re willing.”

“What?”

“I can’t make any promises, but I would like to present your case to management and open visitations for you again.”

“It doesn’t matter. Vi doesn’t wanna come.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

Jinx pouted. “Gonna assume it ‘til I hear otherwise. ‘Cuz I don’t care what Caitlyn says — Vi could’ve come yesterday, and she didn’t.”

“Alright, Jinx, I want you to imagine that your sister had come, or that you’d had a chance to talk with Miss Violet in a neutral situation. What are some of the things you would want to say to her?”

“Fuck you.”

“And then?”

“Fuck you twice.”

“And then?” the therapist repeated.

“And then I’d — I dunno, Doc — Ask her where the sump she’s been this whole time? I needed her, and… and now I don’t. And I don’t like that I don’t need her.”

“I’m not sure I understand. Jinx, why would you be upset that you don’t need her?”

“It’s confusing. When we were together, when she was my sister, she always looked out for me. And now that I don’t need her, it’s like she still needs me to need her.”

“So you don’t know how to continue the relationship when your dynamic has shifted so dramatically?” the therapist clarified. “In other words, because you no longer need her, you can’t relate to her the way you used to.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“What does an ideal relationship look like for you and her at this point?”

Jinx shrugged, sinking into her chair again. “Maybe we’re better off leaving each other alone. Then I don’t hurt her, and she doesn’t hurt me.”

“That’s a pragmatic response, Jinx, but not an ideal one. Pretend with me for a moment that things won’t go wrong — What would you like to get out of or see in a relationship with your sister?”

“It’s gonna go wrong.”

“I know,” the therapist said softly. “That’s why we’re pretending.”

“Alright! Sheesh. But it’s not realistic at all. ‘Cuz in an ideal world, we don’t need to fight for scraps. Nobody does. So we just, you know, have fun and play games. Maybe learn how to cook, light off a buncha fireworks, and spend all day making each other laugh.”

“Do you think that’s impossible?”

“Not if you’re a Piltie. Not if you don’t give a shit about how many poor people you’re hurting. ‘Cuz topsiders get to do whatever they want without caring about how it gets made, or who paid for it.”

“Do you envy them?”

“Pfft. No. I hate them.”

“But you enjoy getting to do ‘whatever you want without caring’ , and have a knack for hurting people you don’t care about. Am I being unfair with that evaluation?”

“It’s different,” Jinx hissed. “Topsiders aren’t real people. Especially not the ones in the state and ethos enforcement.”

“Do you think your sister would agree?”

“I dunno. Maybe before everything happened, but not since she fell in love with that enforcer. Now she’s gonna do and say whatever Cupcake wants. Which I’ve already told you.”

“Then let’s try to think about what a compromise would look like. It seems unfair to expect your sister to go along completely without you offering something in return.”

“What do you think I’m doing?” Jinx snapped. “I’m in this stupid sanitarium, aren’t I? I agreed to be here even though I didn’t have to.”

“Because Miss Violet asked you to?”

“Yeah.”

The therapist nodded slowly, then pinched the bridge of her nose. “Did your sister express what she was hoping for you to get out of this?”

“To not go to Stillwater.”

“So it was more of a threat than a suggestion?”

“Definitely felt that way,” Jinx said. “ ‘Oh, Powder, it’s for your own good, just do this for me!’ Fuck that.”

“Then why did you agree?”

“What else was I gonna do? Run away again? Forever and always?”

“At the beginning of our session today, you told me that you had an opportunity to run away with Miss Luxanna last night. Was it the same thing holding you back both times?”

“Shit. I guess so,” Jinx muttered.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here and not in Stillwater. What they do there is not rehabilitative at all.”

“Yeah,” Jinx sighed. “I would’ve ended it already if they put me there.”

“I’m not surprised,” the therapist admitted. “I’ve seen their rates for loss of inmate life, and it’s staggeringly bad. So look, I do want things to go better for you here, but you have to put in an effort of your own. Hit your check-ins, take your meds, and no more sneaking out. Also, I want you to visit the physician this evening. The discoloration of your skin is really scaring me.”

“Ugh. Whatever.”

“Jinx, can I hear you say it back to me?”

Jinx rolled her eyes. “Meet my checkpoints, down all the drugs, no more late night escapades, and go say hi to the stupid doctors that don’t know how to fix me. That good? I’ll be your perfect little dying Shimmer addict slash repentant terrorist!”

“Say it again, Jinx.”

“What?”

“Say it properly,” the therapist insisted.

“Yes, your Majestic Doctorness. I will be at all my prescribed check-ins, I will swallow every pill the nurses give me, and I will do my best to respect the boundaries as established by this fine establishment, because I’m lucky to be here and blah blah blah.”

“Hmm. Alright. That will have to do for now.”

“Well au revoir , as the Demacians say. Guess I’ll be back in a couple days unless I, y’know, drop dead or whatever.”

“Jinx, please see the physician on your way out.”

“I’m going! I’m going. You don’t gotta nag.”

“I just want you to be healthy and happy,” the therapist said. “But, in spite of your current candor, this was a productive session today. Please let that be your take-away tonight.”

“Oh,” Jinx answered slowly. “Okay. Thank you, Doc.”

“Of course, Jinx. I’ll see you in another two days.”

Chapter Text

The therapist was wrong about Lux. She hadn’t shown up for dinner either, which would have been the perfect opportunity for Lux to come explain everything to Jinx, so meant that she was definitely gone. She had vacated the asylum’s premises, and that was it. That was final. And once they were gone, nobody would be crazy enough to break back into the prison, would they?

An itchy, scratching fog of haze had subsumed Jinx’s mind for the entire evening. Ever since she left the therapist’s room, the ache and pains of her body rotting away were all she could focus on. Any other thoughts were batted away by the ghosts, bringing things back to problem number one:

“Could’ve gotten a hit by now if you’d have gone with her,” Mylo said for the hundredth time.

“Easy, boy,” Silco’s ghost warned. “There’s no need to rub it in. She’s in enough pain as it is!”

“Yeah, and whose fault is that!?”

“You’re blaming me for the girl’s condition? She wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for me!”

“Wouldn’t be in pain either,” Mylo scratched. “And now she’s hooked on it for life.”

“Shut up,” Jinx pleaded. “Just shut up.”

“You could still do it, you know,” Mylo said. “Find a way out, climb the fence. Bring some of these sheets to cover the wall spikes and you’ll be golden! Shit, why am I the one planning this? Aren’t you supposed to be the engineer here?”

“Shut up.”

“Why? You think this’ll ever get better if you stay here lying around to rot? This isn’t some little fever you can wait out! You exploded yourself on that bridge, turning your organs to porridge, and Shimmer’s the only thing that kept your sorry ass from melting into a puddle.”

“I know,” Jinx cried. “You don’t have to keep telling me.”

“Surprisingly, I agree with him,” Silco said. “You need to do something, and you need to do it quickly.”

“Like what?”

“Leave! And, short of that, demand the doctors’ respect! You’ve seen how soft the people in this establishment are. Show them you’re made of much fiercer material! They can’t push you around unless you let them, so stop letting them!”

“Yeah, I’m with him,” Mylo said. “What was that shit the quack told you? ‘You had a productive session’? She’s brainwashing you, and you’re just letting her!”

“Stop.”

“Put your foot down, Jinx. You have to be stronger than them, or they will erase every last trace of who you are! And your dignity will be the first to go.”

“Stooop. Please.”

“Why should we? You’re forcing us to sit here and watch you waste away.”

“C’mon, Powder. If you’re gonna be a jinx, you should be jinxing them! Not yourself.”

“Quite right!”

“I don’t care,” Jinx whined. “Just leave me alone. I’ll — We can do this in the morning.”

“You say that as if you won’t come up with another excuse then! As if there isn’t always a reason to procrastinate if you search hard enough!”

“It’s the middle of the night, Dad! What am I supposed to do?”

“Plan something! Get to work, and figure out the next steps so you’ll be ready to execute them as soon as possible. And then—”

Knock knock.

A thumping at the door cut the ghost off in the middle of his speech, and everyone turned to look for who it was. Nobody else in the asylum should have been awake or wanted her attention at this hour. Not when she was meant to be asleep, but that could only mean that…

Jinx swallowed thickly, trying to slow down her breathing, but it remained rapid and full of danger. A surge of adrenaline, and the indistinguishable interchange of hope and fear.

“Hello?” a voice called from the other side. “Jinx, are you in there?”

“Yeah. Duh.”

“Oh! Excellent. I found another key, so I’m coming in. You’re not — ah — naked, are you?”

“Luxie?”

“Of course! Who else would I be? Just give me a sec while I play with the lock.”

A dull metallic sound crashed against the floor, making the same sound as if Jinx had dropped a handful of equipment in her lab. Was Lux carrying something? And why had she even come back? Or where had she been all day?

The locks began to click as Lux fiddled with a key, or set of keys. Their provenance was completely inexplicable, but so was everything else in the moment, so Jinx elected not to question it.

And then, finally, the latch came undone. The door opened slowly to reveal Luxanna Crownslayer standing in all her sweaty, disheveled glory, with messy clothes, dirty cheeks, and violently tousled hair. Yet still, somehow, she was shining.

Down at her feet, a half dozen tins of volatile tinctures had been spread about haphazardly, dropped there with little care. Their acrylic scent was unmistakable, and the set of brushes next to them was a dead giveaway — Lux had brought an entire armload of paint!

“Wanna give me a hand, Jinxie?”

“Where have you been?”

“Oh, sorry it took me so long!” Lux said. “I was trying to get back right at curfew, but you’d be surprised how hard it is to find any paint in the city. I went looking for art supply stores at first, right? That seemed like the kind of things Piltovans would be into. But it turns out all those fancy artists prefer mixing their own colors, and that wasn’t gonna work for me. The only honest-to-Protector paint I found topside was for industry, and none of those seemed like ones you’d enjoy.”

“Wait,” Jinx said, squinting and furrowing her brow. “You went all over the city today?”

Lux nodded. “I wish I would have known to start underground first. There’s so much more color down there! And I found a lovely chemist who was willing to help me out. But really, it surprised me — How do Piltovan parents find paints for their children to play with? Surely they don’t all venture down to the underside. The air quality would be murder on those little boys and girls’ lungs!”

“Lux…”

“Hm?”

“You did all this for me?”

“No, actually!” Lux said, brightening up again. “I was looking for blood. Or blood-colored paint, at least. I mean, of course I wanted to help you after I got you in trouble, but it seemed like the kind of situation where you can kill two wyverns with one lance, if you know what I mean. And — hang on — Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn’t have opened up asking for blood-colored paints. Oh, wow, I bet that was my mistake in the city! Shit, Jinx, I could have been back so much sooner.”

A wide grin spread across Jinx’s face, and she broke into a low laugh.

“What?”

“You, Lux! Here I thought you were gone, but you were off having this whole adventure. I think you might be a little crazy.”

“Is that crazy good or… crazy not?”

Jinx blushed, and didn’t even try to hide it. “Crazy amazing, of course.”

“Oh! Excellent.”

“I missed you today, and I don’t normally say that about anyone, so…”

“Aww, I’m special!” Lux teased. “C’mon. Wanna give me a hand?”

Jinx glanced down at the pile of cans on the floor, and could already feel her muscles protesting the idea. Even that pitiful amount of work sounded exhaustingly painful.

“Hey, are you alright?” Lux asked, swooping in close to get a better look at Jinx’s face. “Oh gods and aspects, you look horrible!”

“I know.”

“Jinx, you seriously need medical assistance. I’m not joking!”

“They don’t have what I need here,” Jinx muttered, “And they think they can just wean me off like any other addict.”

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Lux said. She withdrew a small vial of brightly shining purple liquid and handed it forward. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

Shimmer.

Jinx hated it. Mostly, she hated that she needed it, because needing anything at all was weak, yet she couldn’t escape that her body was deteriorating without it. So there was the conundrum — She was weak for taking it, or needing it, but she was even weaker without it.

“Here, please,” Lux said after noticing Jinx’s hesitation. “Unless, did I get it wrong?”

Jinx gave a short answer, “No,” and snatched the vial from Lux’s hands. The glass was cold, no doubt refrigerated by the night air, but that wasn’t what gave Jinx pause.

As she held the medicine aloft, she could hear it speaking to her. A new voice, perhaps, not tangible enough to be a ghost. There was something primal about it, and ancient, and Jinx’s mind was going numb the longer she thought about it. The purple fluid sloshed and swirled inside the tube, making little bubbles that each held a world inside them. Something both impossibly small and uncommonly large all at once.

Already, her nerves were tingling with anticipation, salivating at the idea. She didn’t even know what it tasted like — there had never been a need to find out, nor even the passing curiosity. Something fruity and alcoholic was what she had imagined based on its color and the way people choked it down.

No, it wasn’t going to be smooth, but she wanted it. Not just her mind and soul, but her entire body was craving the restitution. The hairs on her arms raised, and her eyes shone bright as she moved her thumb up to the vial’s stopper.

It came undone with a sharp pop, followed by the acrid smell that she remembered. The one that had clung to the walls of every smoking lounge in the Lanes for the past four years. It wasn’t quite as enticing as the smell of paint, soldering material, and a mango habanero whiskey, but it reminded Jinx of being back home again. That was all it needed to do to kick her spirits in gear.

Jinx pressed the vial to her lips and ventured a tiny sip. She was ready for it to electrocute her and blow her mind, but that didn’t happen right away. It just felt wet, and like a pack of sump flies were buzzing in her mouth — the kind that used to hang around the street vendors and didn’t care where they landed.

But then an erotic fire raced though her core, and Jinx jolted back with exhilaration. It reached out from her center, boiling through her muscles, and whisked a thousand ticklish feathers across her skin. It was painful, yes, but more than that it was pure elation.

Lux watched her with mixed amusement and wonder. “Is it — Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Jinx gasped, hyperventilating as she caught up to herself. “Better ‘n ever, toots.”

“Wow, that was—” Lux hesitated. “No, then, I’m glad I asked, because it didn’t quite look that way, but great! Alright. That’s excellent. Are you sure?”

Jinx started to laugh as the feeling came back to her. Where her muscles had ached for days, now they felt the strongest they had ever been. She was hungry, and aroused, and excited to be alive!

After restoppering the vial, saving plenty for later, Jinx ran up to Lux and wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you!” she squeed. “That’s two nights in a row you’ve saved me. Ya know that?”

“Oh! Aha.” Lux leaned into the hug, and nuzzled her chin against Jinx’s neck. “Shall we get painting then? Or, we can wait until tomorrow if you prefer!”

“You’re joking, right?” Jinx giggled. “I’m not gonna sleep a wink tonight.”

“Then let’s get to it!”

Jinx busied herself with the different cans of paint and started inspecting them to see which colors they were. Lux had done her job well! There was bright pink blue, green and purple, all as lurid and vivacious as Jinx aspired to be on her best days.

Lux meanwhile prepared the room by throwing out balls of light to fill the space. Each glowing spell was astoundingly clear in color, which normally wouldn’t have been ideal, but Jinx appreciated the extra visibility it was going to give their paintings.

When the place had gotten as bright as broad daylight, Lux turned to Jinx and grinned. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re too good to be true!”

“It’s good?”

“Of all the people I could’ve met in here,” Jinx said, “I find the one girl with magic solutions to all my problems. And then, today, I was moping, stupid enough to think I’d jinxed it with you.”

“Oh, shit,” Lux gasped. “I was gonna leave a note, and I forgot!”

“It’s fine.”

“Jinx, no, I’m so sorry! There wasn’t a lot of time to get away this morning, and I was even more distracted than usual. I hope you didn’t think I… had gone… without you.”

“Well why wouldn’t you?” Jinx said, her tone more bitter than she’d intended. “Better yet, Luxie, why didn’t you?”

“Setting aside that I can’t — My family would hunt me down — I don’t want to. Not without someone to join me.”

“Oh.”

“And I want that someone to be you, Jinx. And I want to make sure we do it right. So we’ll go with a plan and a pace you’re comfortable with.”

“Really?”

“Of course. But let’s focus on something more fun for the night — Do these paints suit you?”

“Yeah, they’re — No, wait, Luxie, I’m sorry for assuming. I just, it’s ‘cuz everyone else always leaves, so I thought it would be the same for you. And and and I get so in my head with these things, and—”

Before Jinx could say anything else, Lux smooshed up against her side and wrapped her in a giant hug. “You’re such a dork. I said I wanted to keep you, didn’t I?”

“But, but I didn’t do what you wanted me to!”

“And I understood why. We’ll come up with a plan and do it the right way, alright?”

“One where we both die?”

Lux chuckled and squeezed Jinx tighter. “Probably. But not for real. Just a little bit of pretendsies.”

“And a little bit of lying,” Jinx added.

“Are you going to be okay with that?”

“Yeah, sure. I mean, it’s just long enough to get outta here, right? Long enough for your folks to lose interest?”

“Of course,” Lux assured her. “Anyway, enough morbidity for the moment! Let’s splash some colors on your walls.”

Jinx pulled away from the embrace and reached for a pair of brushes. “After you, Miss Crownslayer.”

“Thank you kindly, Future Missus Crownslayer!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jinx laughed, poking Lux with one of the brushes. “You wish.”

Lux rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you don’t like it.”

But Jinx took the butt of her brush and popped open the first of their cans, revealing a pink, viscous acrylic. “What I like is paint!”

It didn’t take another moment before Jinx was on the walls and scribing depictions of her favorite things. There were mean, ugly goblin faces, and monkey heads, and skulls with spikes in them. Every manner of monster that seemed familiar to her, there was a catharsis in depicting them so whimsically. Because then she owned them, and they couldn’t control her.

Lux meanwhile had a taste for flowers, sunshine, and all the brightly lit things in the golden fields of Demacia. She painted bumbling bees and bales of hay being ingested by donkeys and horses. But they were toxic green in color, or neon blue in complexion, and that suited Jinx just fine.

“Add some spikes!” she said. “Make ‘em scary.”

The suggestion was not unheeded, but Lux stood up and began depicting a new animal. “Have you ever seen a wyvern before? I know I mentioned them earlier, but I’m remembering now that they’re not common to this realm.”

“Seen pictures,” Jinx said. “Or paintings, at least.”

“Oh, you’d love them! They can grow up to be the size of a house or more, and they have these great big wings with claws like swords, so they swoop in from their perch in the skies and slash you to pieces! Very fun to hunt, too.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes!” Lux cheered. “Maybe once we get out of here, I could track one down and we could fight it.”

Jinx shrugged. “Is that even gonna be much of a fight if I bring my guns?”

“Depends on how quickly you manage to hit it. A lot of the challenge is simply finding a vantage point where it won’t immediately decimate you.”

As the painted wyvern took shape under Lux’s brush, Jinx studied it carefully to better understand the general structure. Then she dipped her tool in a can of purple and started painting a dragon of her own. Except Jinx’s version had bright, shimmering eyes, and breathed out a column of fire to terrorize the serfs and knights alike who dared approach her.

All around her painting, Jinx filled in a sky ablaze with color. There were explosions, flaming rains, lightning, and stars and every other exciting thing. It might have been overkill to some, but Jinx could hardly remember a time that she had felt so content in her art.

“Whaddya think, Luxie?”

Lux turned around to glance at the mural, then grinned wide. “I think you are quite the artist.”

“Pfft. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Well, I’m still formulating my thoughts,” Lux continued. “It’s very dramatic, both in the detail and the framing. Does it have a name, the monster? Or a purpose?”

Jinx nodded. “She’s lashing out ‘cuz she hates everyone. ‘Grrr, get off mah property! No peoples allowed!’ ”

“You nailed it. Sounds like every wyvern I’ve ever met.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jinx laughed. “Well, pfft, I can’t blame them. They must’ve just been living their lives, and then people came around and told ‘em they couldn’t be there anymore. ‘Hey, wyverns, scram!’ So ya push on ‘em long enough, and of course they’re gonna fight back!”

“This one looks like she’s having a bit of help from the elements,” Lux noted. “Is that thunder and lighting backing her?”

“Mmhmm. ‘Cuz she talked to the gods, and everyone agreed it was only fair for her to get a leg up! That way she can dunk on all the little meanies.”

“Kind of like you, then.”

“Me? Like the dragon? Well, yeah, kinda, I guess. If you zoom out far enough, maybe. But wait, does that make you one of the horses eating the hay over there?”

“No,” Lux laughed. “I’m the sunshine. It’s a bit on the nose, perhaps, but I think it’s fitting.”

“Because you’re so bright?”

“Because,” Lux explained, “Magic makes the world go around, and it gives life to everything on the whole of Runeterra. But some people got scalded by its touch from spending too long in direct contact, and it’s made them fearful of ever stepping out from their caves. So they try to box away the sun in tiny little lights that illuminate their holes in the ground, because at least then they’re the ones in control.”

“Yeesh,” Jinx chuckled. “Been saving that one all night, or what?”

“Oh, fuck off!” Lux took her brush with its blue and green colors and splashed it all over Jinx.

It earned an immediate retaliation, with Jinx grabbing a fistful of purple paint and chucking it at her. Lux tried to dodge, but it was too late, and the effort would have been fruitless anyway. Neon acrylic had splattered all over her clothes and golden hair.

“Now you’ve done it!” Lux teased as she picked up the entire can of blue paint. “Hold still!”

“Never!” Jinx whipped around faster than the blink of an eye,  and suddenly found her hands on Lux’s, now sharing responsibility for carrying the can.

Jinx tipped the bucket back and cackled as its entire contents began to empty on the Demacienne’s frontside.

“Heeeey!” Lux squealed delightfully. “That’s cheating.”

Then she turned around and embraced Jinx in a full-bodied hug, smooshing the slurry of blue acrylic between them. It was getting everywhere, in each crevice of their skin and every strand of their hair, but neither of the girls made any pretense of caring in the moment.

When Lux pulled away, she dipped another brush in pink and traced a semi-circle on Jinx’s face. “There,” she cooed. “Now you’re always smiling.”

“That’s so stupid,” Jinx laughed. “Can I give you a smile too?”

“Only if it has monster teeth!”

“Oh, yeah, obviously. That’s a given.”

Jinx took the brush and painted a jagged smile on her partner’s face, with a razor-toothed silhouette and sneering curls at the end. Its ugly form was such a contrast to the Demacienne’s smooth skin and perfectly curved face, but that only served to highlight how beautiful Lux was.

Their hearts were racing, and Jinx could feel her lungs attempting to hyperventilate. The longer she stared at Lux, the more she knew what she wanted to do, but she didn’t want to want it.

“No,” Jinx whispered. “This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

“What is it? The voices again, or something new this time? How can I help?”

“No, just, just don’t. I mean, just — Fuck!”

Lux gripped Jinx’s shoulders, holding her firm. “Alright, Jinx, breathe slowly, and talk to me. Breathe slowly first, alright? Breathe in, yeah, and breathe out, okay! Again, good. And again, thank you!”

Jinx followed along as best as she could, trying to manage her shitty lungs, but the adrenaline and emotion were getting a triple boost from the Shimmer she’d taken, and it was harder than ever to wrangle the involuntary actions of her body.

“Is it the voices again?” Lux asked. “Your ghosts, I mean.”

Jinx shook her head without answering, and continued trying to breathe in the regulated pattern.

“Something else, then,” Lux noted. “The medicine — Is it hurting you? Or failing? Are you having an adverse reaction to the acrylics?”

For every question on Lux’s troubleshooting agenda, Jinx would just shake her head and inhale with slow, ragged breaths. The Demacienne wasn’t getting anywhere close to the answer, and Jinx didn’t know how to tell her otherwise, nor even if she should.

“Do it!” Mylo advised, making a surprise appearance that was neither wanted nor warranted. “Just tell her already!”

The temptation to act, if only to shut him up, was deeply overwhelming. All of Jinx’s nerves were on overdrive, distracting her and creating a rat’s nest clusterfuck in her head. Then those two words echoed over and over and over and over until they were the only sound in her head.

“Do it!”

Just do it already.

It’s chapter eight and I’m still pretending like these two aren’t madly in love, and aren’t secretly hoping to jump each other’s bones as soon as the time is right. But one of them has to make the first move! And I don’t mean flirting, nor passive aggressively making suggestions about each other’s inclinations. One of them has to give the other an unambiguous signal that they’re ready to be in a relationship.

So, what do you say? Should we make it happen? Should Jinx and Lux have a little romantic dalliance? One that’s entirely explicit in their commitment to each other? I think that’d be cute, but I’m a little biased.

I can’t exactly put it to a vote, so I’m going to assume you said yes. Because, let’s be honest, if you’ve read this far then you probably appreciate the direction their relationship’s been going! Or maybe you don’t? Oh! Maybe you’re waiting for Jinx to realize she’s just filling the void in her heart by sliding into another codependency. Yeah, that could be an interesting direction for the story to go, and an important lesson to teach about relationships.

Well, I’ll tell you what: How about we split the difference. It’s cheating, alright, but I think it’d be cute. Because I want Jinx to get better the right way, but not right away . If she gets to have a right bit of fun here and there, would that be alright? Alright.

“Jinx!” Lux said for what might have been the fourth or fifth time in a row. “Jinx, are you alright?”

She phased back into awareness, and glanced at the jagged tooth painted face in front of her. “Oh, uh, yeah. Luxie, I’m fine.”

“You’re sure? I lost you for a minute there.”

“Do it!” Mylo’s ghost demanded yet another time, but Jinx ignored him.

“Yeah,” Jinx said. “Just happens sometimes. Heh. You should keep that smile I painted. It’s a good look on you!”

“You think so?” Lux replied. “If only we had mirrors in here. Will you paint it again if I have to wash it off?”

“You want me to?”

Lux shrugged playfully and ran her fingers down Jinx’s painted braids. “You’d have to let me get you back, of course. It’s only fair. We’d look like a pair of court jesters, but it must be so freeing to play the part of the fool sometimes.”

“Speaking of fools,” Jinx said, “How’re we gonna trick these jokers into thinking we’re dead?”

“Wait! You’re in? You’ll do it with me?”

“Sure, Luxie. I don’t want you to have to be stuck here.”

“Jinx, that’s — Thank you,” Lux said. “Oh, but I was hoping you had some ideas for how to go about it. The closest I got was trying to find some fake blood, and obviously that didn’t quite pan out.”

“Nah, I think it has to be real,” Jinx told her. “Or real bodies, at least.”

“Meaning what?” Lux asked, pulling away nervously. “Exhuming stooges from a grave?”

“Not quite. Down in the undercity, there’s not anywhere for dead people to go, so the bodies that don’t get burned just get fed to the rats.”

“That’s… morbid.”

“Yup.”

“Jinx, are you suggesting we break out of here, steal some corpses, pretend they’re our own, then stage them in a way that makes it seem like we’ve died on the premises?”

“Yeah,” Jinx laughed. “Wouldn’t that work?”

“Ah, well, it could,” Lux admitted, “But it’s crazy! Legitimately, full-blown crazy.”

“Isn’t that whatcha like about me?”

Lux chuckled nervously. “I just want to know that you believe we can pull it off. Truly, thoroughly believe it, because this is a huge idea! And huge ideas can go wrong in the hugest ways.”

“Yeah, I mean, I got a pretty good idea of how to do it,” Jinx told her. “And the best part is I’m pretty sure they got everything I need here to make the explosion!”

“What do you mean?”

“Like the, you know, chemicals and stuff. They prolly got it all here in the kitchen, or maintenance closet or whatever.”

“To do what?”

Jinx grinned evilly. “To try and blow a hole in the wall! We’ll fail miserably — duh! — scorching our corpse dummies way past recognition in the process!”

“And they’ll know it’s us because we’ll already be gone by then?”

“That,” Jinx said, “And we can leave behind a shit ton of evidence. Maybe paint a giant ‘so-long, suckers!’ on the wall next to our escape attempt.”

“Alright then. Excellent.”

“Do you like it?”

“Jinx, I love it,” Lux cooed. “And I love that I’ll be doing it with you.”

“Oh, really…” Jinx’s smiles grew wider, flesh and paint alike. Then she bit her lip and stared deep into Lux’s eyes. “I kinda couldn’t’ve picked a better partner myself.”

“Is that all we are, Jinx? Partners?”

“What do you wanna be?”

The answer was staring them both in the face, but neither of them had the courage to confess it. Even now, after getting control of her emotions and the Shimmer running through her veins, Jinx struggled to be honest enough to admit what was at the forefront of her mind. There was too much at risk if it went wrong.

“Do it, Jinx! Just do it already.”

And so, instead of words, she communicated with her body. Jinx reached forward, taking the other woman’s head in her hands, and prepared to pull it gently towards herself.

“Is this okay?” she asked in a scared, tiny whisper. It might have been the smallest voice Jinx had ever used.

Lux nodded almost imperceptibly. “I… I think so. If you want.”

“I do.”

Jinx closed her eyes and closed the distance between them, meeting in the middle with a soft, sloppy kiss. It was disgusting. The paint on their faces hadn’t even begun to dry, so it sloshed around and found its way between their tongues.

“Sorry,” Jinx laughed. “It’s kinda gross, right?”

Lux dug her fingers into her partner’s neck, giving the muscles there a firm massage as she pulled Jinx closer. “I’m okay with that.”

“Uh, yeah, me too,” Jinx hastily agreed. “Should we keep going?”

“Please.”

Lux clamped down on Jinx’s lip, sucking it back with all the sweetness she could muster. The hot, breathy aroma had no right to be as intoxicating as it was. Maybe lust had gotten to them, or the acrylic fumes in the air, or the purple serum running fast through Jinx’s bloodstream, but she couldn’t get enough. Over and over again, she returned to the Demacienne’s mouth and hunted for more.

“You’re perfect,” Lux whimpered between moments of fighting to catch her breath.

Jinx leaned into the affection and drank the moment up. “Say that again.”

“You’re perfect, Jinx. Perfect just the way that you are.”

“Again, please.”

“Jinxie.” Lux pulled her head back and waited until she caught her partner’s eyes. “You’re perfect, alright? Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise!”

“Not as long as you’re with me,” Jinx answered.

So Lux took her hands and pulled Jinx back to the bed, before stumbling down to the sheets and soiling everything with a giant mess of paint.

“Our clothes seem a bit dirty, wouldn’t you say?”

Jinx offered a coy wink and bit her lip. “Then I guess we don’t need ‘em anymore. Wouldn’t wanna be dirty.”

“Exactly what I was thinking!” Lux replied. “It’s like you read my mind.”

“Okay! Then I guess we’re doing this.”

“I guess we are.”

Chapter Text

When Jinx woke the next morning, she had only gotten a few hours of sleep, but she didn’t care. There was Shimmer in her blood, bright neon colors on her walls, and a sweaty naked woman in her bed. Oh, and paint all over them both, their hair, and all throughout their sheets. The medley of mayhem was beautiful, and there weren’t any ghosts in Jinx’s head to say otherwise!

She rolled over and draped an arm around the Demacienne. It wasn’t much in the grand scheme of things, but it meant everything to her now.

“Psst. Sunshine, ya still asleep?”

When Lux failed to answer, Jinx decided to let her be. She turned back to the wall and gazed at its newfound artwork, the monsters and wyverns and bombs and lightning and everything else. All the little things that made her happy were surrounding her now, so Jinx laid in the moment and drank it all in, earnestly grateful for her current clarity of mind.

It gave her space to think about what Lux’s adventure in the city must have been like. If escaping the Asylum was something Lux had always been capable of, then how many other times had she done it? Jinx realized she forgot to ask, and it was entirely possible that Lux was regularly making short-lived trips to the city. But surely that would have been the kind of thing Lux made sure to mention, right?

Either way, the image of Lux running around every art and construction store in Piltover asking them for blood-colored paint was tickling Jinx pink. She could picture all the funny looks Lux must have been getting, because of course the Pilties wouldn’t understand why someone would want blood-colored paint. It was just a prank! Just a little jokey joke. One where Jinx and Lux were gonna pretend to be gone so all the nosy nancies in the world could just leave them alone.

And then where would they go? Who would they be? Eh, that was a question for later. No need to commit to anything so soon! Not when they were going to have a world of options at their disposal.

But, for now at least, they needed to bide their time and play along with the institute’s schedule, all the while pretending that they weren’t flagrantly violating a dozen rules behind management’s back! Which, come to think of it, was going to be hard to do with all the smuggled paint all over her room.

Jinx sighed as she turned back over to admire Lux in her sleep. A knot of unsettled feelings was tangled up in her gut, and Jinx immediately mistook the sensation for hunger. After all, it would be breakfast time soon, so working up an appetite was entirely expected. That ran double with the Shimmer in her veins. But the longer Jinx stared at Lux, the more she realized it was something else inside of her, a different kind of hunger.

She hadn’t felt this way about anyone in a long time. Not truly. There were obsessions and petty delights of course, as well as the occasional sharp craving, but nothing so transforming and fundamental as this. Nobody that Jinx had ever wanted before had proven themself like Lux had, so there was a newfound safety in this desire.

And the safety was stirring as Lux eventually came to life. She turned over, raised her arms high, and stretched into a yawn.

“What time is it?” Lux murmured. “Orderlies come by already?”

“Not yet, Luxie. Least, I don’t think so.”

Lux sat up unevenly, brushing a tangle of painted hair away from her ear and trying to listen. After a while, she shook her head. “They’re not here yet.”

“Oh. Gives ya time to get away, I guess. If ya wanted to sneak back to your room, I mean. Not that I don’t want’cha to stay, but the orderlies are gonna take a closer look once they see the paint everywhere.”

“That’s true,” Lux agreed. She took a gander around the room to admire their handiwork, and smiled contentedly. “But Jinxie, you need to lie about this. Um… sorry to be so abrupt.”

“What. Lie how?”

“Tell them that you got this paint from your patrons — Caitlyn were planning to get you some, right? — and you don’t know who approved the order. The guards here, they rarely know any better, so they’ll believe anything you tell them as long as you say it convincingly enough.”

“Okay.”

“You’ll do it?”

“Yeah, well it sounds like I gotta,” Jinx said. “I mean, it’s mostly true, and it’s not hurting anyone.”

“See, you get it!” Lux leaned close and purred underneath Jinx’s lips. “But we can still have a bit of fun before that. There’s no need to rush.”

“Heh. Don’t tempt me.”

Lux stroked Jinx’s shoulder and traced her fingers up Jinx’s neck. “Is everything still holding together? Physically, I mean. Because I hope you know I went to a lot of trouble to get you that Shimmer.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jinx said, and then she stopped. “Wait — err — How much trouble?”

“Nothing that I wouldn’t do again,” Lux answered. “But, actually, go ahead and forget I said anything.”

“Something wrong?”

“No. Just — Never mind.”

“Alright,” Jinx said. “I’m gonna take another hit or two to top off before breakfast, but I think I got it under control.”

“Would you tell me if you didn’t?”

“Duh.”

Lux pulled Jinx closer, greedily eyeing her mouth. “Thank you. What does it taste like?”

“Not much of a flavor, actually. Whatever’s there, it’s hard to notice when you’ve got a hundred tiny fireworks going off inside you!”

“That overwhelming, huh? Interesting.”

“Why? You wanna try?”

“I’ll do without for now,” Lux said, “But I wouldn’t mind getting a second-hand taste if you know what I mean.”

“I do!” Jinx ducked away from Lux’s grip and climbed out of bed to go find the vial. It was lying in a corner of the room, still mostly full of its toxic tincture, so Jinx snatched it up and ventured a couple drops. “Wow! Yup, still got quite a kick. Ten outta ten.”

“Excellent!”

Jinx hopped back into bed and soon found herself in Lux’s lap. “For science! We’re — uh — conducting an experiment! That’s all.”

Lux wrapped her arms around her partner. “I like this experiment very much. Although, come to think of it, we probably should have had a control case!”

“Shut up!” Jinx laughed. “Just kiss me already.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

Neither of the girls made any pretense at keeping track of time. Jinx only pulled away when she had thoroughly run out of saliva to exchange. So Lux backed off and finally went to fetch her clothes.

“See you at breakfast?” she said as she made for the door.

Jinx shrugged playfully and twirled her braids. “I mean, yeah. If you want.”

“Dork.”

“Stupid!”

“Double dork!”

“Okay, fine!” Jinx laughed. “You win.”

Lux unlocked the bedroom door, and did a silly dance as she made her way into the hall. Then she shut and locked the door again, as if it had never been perturbed at all.

“Stupid,” Jinx whispered some moments later.

The happy mood persisted for a while, even as Jinx did little more than cuddle back up in her bed. Its abrupt end only came when one of the institute’s patrolling agents arrived with the morning wake-up call.

“Miss Jinx, I’m unlocking your door. In five — four — three — two —”

The latch gave way and opened up to the hall for the second time in as many minutes, where an orderly stood with an appalled look on her face.

“Void take me!” she gasped. “What’s all this?”

“Oh, d’you like my makeover?” Jinx teased. She turned around and gestured to all the walls. “Don’t worry! My patrons are gonna pay for the damages after I’m gone.”

“How did this — Where did you get so much paint?”

“Duh. I just told you, it’s a patron gift. I asked for it a couple days ago and they came through! Hey, Guard Lady, what’s your name by the way? Wanna come see this wyvern I drew? She’s called Marcy!”

The orderly stepped nervously into the room and looked around. “Miss Jinx, this is really quite excessive.”

“Yeah, you’re right — Still way too much white! I’m gonna hafta fill in all the gaps before long.”

“Miss Jinx, I don’t believe anyone ever re-approved your coloring elements. That memo was never passed to me.”

“Aww, you’re worried!” Jinx teased. “Nah, I’m sure management still thinks you’re the mostest specialist little prison guard! Even if they didn’t tell you my paint was okay again.”

“Uh, I’ll check that later,” the orderly decided. “Although, come to think of it, it makes a certain amount of sense given the other approval.”

“What approval?”

The orderly stepped back out to the hall and shrugged. “You got another visitation today. From the sounds of it, someone pulled a lot of strings. So, congratulations, I guess. Breakfast in five minutes.”

“Wait! With who?”

“One of your patrons, Lady Violet Kiramman, if that name means anything to you.”

“What the fuck!?”

The orderly shrugged again. “It’s your choice to attend, Miss Jinx, but given all the strings they pulled, I wouldn’t turn my nose at it.”

“Oh, no, I’m going,” Jinx said. “I’ll be there bright and early!”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

Vi barged into the visitation room without an ounce of decorum. She didn’t stop to look at or touch anything else, just headed straight for her sister’s table and hunched over it, staring Jinx in the eye like a hungry beast.

“Hey,” she said in a low, shaky voice.

“Hey yourself,” Jinx laughed. “What can I do ya for?”

“You — uh — you look like you’ve been having fun,” Vi noted, eyeing the splashes of paint that Jinx hadn’t bothered to wash off.

Jinx bit her lip, and settled back into her chair. “Oh, yeah. Well, we all do what we can.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay!”

“Why? Gonna blame yourself again if I wasn’t? Beat yourself silly ‘cuz it’s all your fault, ‘cuz you’re the one that put me here?”

“Powder, I just want you to be okay. That’s all I want right now.”

“Great! Mission accomplished. I’m getting better.”

“You are?” Vi grabbed the chair next to her and finally took her seat. “Tell me about it!”

“Oh, I get to share first? Here I thought you’d be champing at the bit to tell me how great life is for you. You’re living it up in the big house now! Heh. Different big house, I guess.”

Vi shook her head. “Actually, the Kiramman estate is… Well, it’s mostly empty. Kinda sad, really.”

“Poor them,” Jinx mocked.

“No, I mean, of course it was impressive at first, but after a while it just feels wasteful. Most of the space doesn’t even get used by anyone. Like whoever put it there was just doing so to prove how much money they have.”

“Ha! Wish your girlfriend was here to hear ya say that. Sowwy sugar mommy, you’ve got too much money!”

“I’ve told her the same thing a few times now,” Vi admitted. “She knows how I feel about it.”

“Oh.”

“Powder, there’s been a lot happening lately, and so many moving parts. Fuck, I know this sounds like an excuse, but I’m not trying to excuse anything. It’s just — it’s been difficult.”

“What has?”

“I’ve been trying to see you!” Vi said. “I have, Powder. I promise, I’ve been trying everyday to figure it out. There were just other things that had to come first which I didn’t have any power to change.”

“Like your mother-in-law’s funeral?” Jinx snarked.

“She’s not my — nevermind. Yes, Madame Kiramman’s funeral was something that had to conclude before the estate felt safe letting me see you.”

“Heh. Look at you being all rule-followery! It’s okay, sis. I’ve been following the occasional rule myself lately.”

“No, Powder, it’s not about that. There’s just — What was my alternative? Fight my way through a bunch of nice people who are only trying to help?”

“I dunno,” Jinx sighed. “Forget it.”

“Can we not do that, please? I didn’t come here to fight.”

“Do what? I’m just making casual observations! So, really, it’s your choice how you react to them.”

“Powder, please…”

“Don’t call me that! You keep saying it like saying it’s gonna make it true, but it’s not. How many times do I have to tell you that Powder’s gone?”

Vi’s face filled with uneasy tension as she shrugged. “At least once more?”

“She’s gone, Vi. The people we used to be, they’re never coming back, and pretending like we can get them again’s just living a lie.”

“Powder, you were the one that said ‘nothing ever stays dead’ . Do you remember that? The night you — um — gathered us together?”

“Yeah, well, when things come back, they’re not the same. They never are.”

“I know that!” Vi said. “And I’m not asking you to be some helpless little girl again. I know you used to feel that way before, and I know you don’t want to be like that anymore, so I’m not saying that you have to be. But you don’t have to be a jinx either!”

“Maybe I wanna.”

“You want to be a jinx? No, I don’t believe that. I don’t.”

“Vi, you’ve got no idea what I want! And you don’t get to tell me, either, ‘cuz you haven’t been here!”

“Powder, it’s not personal. I don’t believe anyone wants to, because nobody in the history of anything has ever called someone a jinx as a compliment.”

“They do now. They do for me.”

“That — No, Powder. I’m sorry, but there’s no way that’s true.”

“She doesn’t understand you,” Silco whispered. “And she never will.”

Jinx scowled, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth. “SHut UP! Let me talk to her.”

“Powder?”

“No!” Jinx shot up from her chair. “STOP! I asked you to stop calling me that.”

“Okay,” Vi said carefully, “But I’m not calling you a — You’re not a jinx.”

“This is a trick! You don’t respect me. Vi, you pity me, and feel sorry for me, and feel sorry for yourself ‘cuz you never got over what happened! Well, guess what? I get to decide who I am, and you gotta get with the program or leave me alone!”

“Okay,” Vi whispered again. “Can you tell me about who you are so I can learn?”

Jinx sat back down with her arms crossed. “I’m Jinx, and I like to paint, I’m good at building things, and I love blowing stuff up.”

“None of that sounds any different from the sister I knew! You can do all that without… you know…”

There was dead air in the room as Vi failed to finish her sentence. Jinx waited several long moments for her sister to finish, but the closure never came.

“Ya wanna know what your problem is, Vi? You act like you’re the only one who’s allowed to decide when violence is okay. If it makes you uncomfortable, then it’s the wrong time for violence! But, if it makes you happy, then it was the right time! ‘Cuz the person you’re being violent to probably deserved it or whatever, and you don’t gotta explain yourself.”

“Pow— Uh, that’s not fair.”

“You learned it from your father, I think,” Jinx continued. “Vander. Remember him? Everyone had to get in line and follow his whims every fucking day. Be nice when Vander says it’s time to be nice, and be angry when Vander says it’s time to be angry. But his ideas were bullshit! ‘Don’t mess with the man who pours the drinks,’ he used to say. It was his way or the highway.”

“That’s not fair,” Vi repeated. “He was looking out for everyone because everyone else looked up to him! That responsibility he carried, he didn’t ask for it.”

“Fine, Vi, but now I am asking. I’m asking you not to be responsible for me anymore.”

“How could I not be? You’re my little sister.”

“I dunno,” Jinx chuckled awkwardly. “Sounds like a you problem.”

“Do you even want me in your life?”

“Yeah, duh, but not like that. Not being all judgy and acting all Sister-knows-best! Sister’s older, wiser, and better at seeing right from wrong, so Sister gets to decide when I’ve been a bad girl.”

“When you’ve been a jinx?”

“Yeah.”

“I never should have said that to you. I never—”

“No!” Jinx snapped. “Don’t you get it!? You’re still saying it to me. It’s in the tone of your voice, and the way you look at me when you get scared. You think I’m a jinx, but you won’t allow yourself to say the word anymore as if that fixed anything. Well, it won’t! You and Mylo and everyone else might have named me, but it’s a title I have fully claimed for myself now, and you can’t wrestle it back just because it makes you feel bad.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“It’s a lot to get used to,” Vi said. “And your eyes now, and your skin, I don’t even know what that drug is! I think, actually, I think Shimmer might have saved my life, but it didn’t turn me into whatever you’ve become. I didn’t get all… this.”

“I died, Vi.”

“What?”

“Or, at least, I tried to,” Jinx explained. “And I got as close as anyone would let me. Caitlyn said you weren’t there, but I remember you and her and the doctor pumping me full of Shimmer like it was going outta style. And now…? Now, my body’s just gonna collapse again if I don’t keep dosing. I’ll probably be hooked on it for whatever small piece of my life remains.”

“I’m sorry,” Vi cried, tears welling up in her eyes. “I didn’t know.”

“Would ya have done anything different if you did?”

“I — I don’t know. W-When was this? That night on the bridge?”

“Yeah.”

“Then… Ekko?”

Jinx shrugged. “If my chomper didn’t kill me, then it might not’ve gotten him either, but I doubt any of his friends and family were cruel enough to pump him full of Shimmer to keep him alive.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“But why? Was all of this just because I — because Caitlyn needed to be taken to safety, so you thought I’d left you again? That was enough for you to want to end it all?”

“Everyone betrays us,” Jinx murmured in a sing-song tone. “Except Luxie.”

Vi shook her head, ignoring the new information. “When I was in the hole, when they put me in Stillwater and locked me away, the only thing that kept me going was believing I could get out one day and look for you! That’s the only thing I ever cared about.”

“Sure. Then ya did get out and immediately sided with my enemies.”

“That’s not what I’m saying! I never gave up because I always had hope! The thought of you always kept me going in my darkest hours, and I think you need something like that. I don’t want to hear that you’re ready to be done being alive, okay? Don’t tell me that!”

“It’s the truth, Vi.”

“Okay, but it shouldn’t be!” Vi pleaded. “Let’s find something else, something healthy for you to focus on, and that can be your reason to stick around! Yeah? Can we at least start there?”

“Like what?”

“What about your doctor? Caitlyn told me you were having sessions with a head shrink.”

“Your cupcake is correct.”

“And? How’s that been going? Is she helping you at all?”

“It’s fine, Vi. It’s all perfectly boring and predictable topsider hogwash. Some of it’s been sticking, ‘cuz some of it’s actually useful. And the rest is, well, you know how topsiders are.”

“Okay, good,” Vi said. “That’s a start! Have you made any friends here? Who’s that — um — did you mention a name before? Lucky?”

“Luxie,” Jinx corrected. “A.K.A. Luxanna Crownslayer.”

“That’s a — wow!” Vi stammered. “Okay, that’s a mouthful. But you’re friends with this person?”

Jinx chuckled evilly, then held up two fingers and wiggled her tongue between them.

“Oh.” Vi blushed. “Oh, gods, okay. Wow. Um, congrats? I didn’t even know you — wow.”

“Yep.”

“Okay, good,” Vi continued, her composure only partially recovered. “So, you’re fraternizing with some of the others in here. That’s gotta be a good sign! Does this Luxanna, um, what’s she like?”

“Like magic.”

“In a good way?”

Jinx gave a half-hearted shrug, then shook her head. “Hey, you should prolly know, Luxie and I are gonna break outta here in a couple days.”

“You are?”

“Yup. We planned it all last night. Gonna make our way past the fence, and then we’re gonna go live our lives somewhere out on our own.”

“Um, how? And you’re not leaving me, are you?”

“Oh, no, of course not,” Jinx teased. “You’re welcome to come along! But I doubt your cupcake’s gonna want to join the party.”

“Why not? Where are you going?”

“To find a place that wants us, wherever that is.”

Vi nodded slowly and started chewing on her fingernails as she thought through the situation. “That wouldn’t happen to be somewhere in the undercity, would it?”

“I dunno. Why?”

“Against all odds,” Vi said, “It seems you’ve actually made some fans after what you did. With the tower, I mean, and Silco. There’s somebody out there who’s rooting for you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Look, I wasn’t going to tell you this, because I didn’t want you to think it’s the reason why I came. But something happened last night, and it wasn’t good.”

“Spit it out, Vi.”

“Did you know yesterday was Cassandra’s funeral? Madame Kiramman?”

“Yeah,” Jinx scoffed. “Cupcake told me.”

“Hey, knock it off! You don’t get to call her that.”

“Fine.”

“Jinx, did you know that there would be hundreds of enforcers attending the ceremony? You had to have at least assumed, right?”

“Why? Was there an attack? Don’t blame me!”

“Not on the funeral procession, no. But a team of — I’m not even sure what to call them — a group of people made a run on Stillwater last night, and they claimed they were trying to ‘Get Jinx’ . There’s a theory Caitlyn’s team has been running with, or one she ran by me at least. If you have these psycho fans, and they assumed you got locked up in Stillwater — the place Piltover normally puts their criminals — then maybe they were trying to help you.”

“Did it work?” Jinx chuckled.

“No, obviously not, because you weren’t in there. But still, they did an astounding amount of damage — a host of prisoners escaped. And, look, if you’re in communication with them, please, I don’t care, but don’t tell them to come here.”

“I’m not.”

“Please, I promise I don’t care if you are. But this institute, Cait says it’s doing actual good for a lot of people! It’s different from the place I was put. So please don’t ruin a good thing just because you’re feeling trapped.”

“Why would you assume I know who these jokers are? I haven’t talked to anyone outside since I got here.”

“No,” Vi said, “But I know what it’s like being locked up. Getting a message in and out is not at all hard if you find the right people.”

“And?”

“And, Jinx, these people who were trying to break you out, they had some sort of light cannon thingy nobody’s ever seen before. Some high tech, hextech laser, from the sounds of it, and they bored a giant hole in some of Stillwater’s walls.”

Jinx shrugged. “Doesn’t sound like one of mine. You should ask your friend, Mister Man of Progress himself!”

“Jayce is still recovering,” Vi said flatly, with surprisingly little condemnation. “Please, I need to know. Are you absolutely certain that nothing you made for yourself, or Silco, or anyone, none of them ever could have done this?”

“Yep.”

“And you’re not conspiring with people to break out from here?”

“Just Luxie! She and I are gonna do it all by ourselves.”

“I believe you,” Vi admitted. “And, honestly, I’m sure you’ve already discovered seven different ways to get out of here. You’d be the one, if anyone could do it. My sister.”

“Heh. Thanks.”

“But, Jinx, you know I won’t be able to protect you if you leave.”

“That’s the idea!”

“You really don’t want to stick around and keep giving this a chance? Just a few more weeks at least! I mean, gods, you’re already looking healthier and happier than I expected.”

“Should’ve seen me yesterday,” Jinx scoffed. “Only reason I’m halfway decent today’s ‘cuz I got all Shimmered up and got an escape plan!”

“Okay. Alright.” Vi nodded somberly. “If you think you have to do it, then I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Thank you!”

“This partner of yours, Luxanna, how much do you trust her?”

“More than I do any Pilties.”

“Well, that’s not saying very much.”

“Yeah, you oughta know,” Jinx snickered. “How long’d it take ya to decide Caitlyn was one of the good ones?”

Vi shook her head, saying, “I don’t really know that I would have. At the start, I had no intention of trusting her for the long haul. But then she saved my life, and I couldn’t help it. Twice, actually.”

“Oh.”

“Look.” Vi pulled back and buried her hands in her face, buying time as she tried to find the words. “What you said about almost dying on the bridge—”

“I did die!”

“Okay, sure,” Vi relented. “But if Silco brought you back, or had his people do it — gods, this pains me to say it — I can’t hate him for that. I might hate him for a lot of things, but saving your life isn’t one of them. He must have truly cared about you in his own fucked up way.”

“Couldn’t let me go, Vi. He needed me.”

“Well, that may be the case. But, actually, I’m trying to make this about Caitlyn. Because I don’t expect you or need you to respect her profession, or the way she was born, but I do want you to believe that she cares about me.”

“Because she saved your life?”

“Yes! That’s gotta count for something. I have to believe it does.”

Jinx sat back in her chair and stewed on the idea. “Ya know, Luxie’s saved my life a couple of times already. She’s not just some random psychofan I’m following into the void!”

“Okay, well, wow,” Vi stammered. “That’s a lot to process. I didn’t realize your life had been in need of saving, and I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Whatever.”

“Wait, Pow-Jinx, when you said Luxanna’s not from around here, is she another undercity kid? I didn’t think any of them had the dosh to pay for a room in the institute.”

“No,” Jinx laughed. “Luxie’s from Demacia. They threw her in here ‘cuz she — uh — well, that’s not my story to share.”

“Oh. I see. I won’t pry.”

“Kinda sounds like you were.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Vi said. “My head was just wandering back to the Stillwater raid again, because I think someone involved is connected to you, or wants to be. And I thought, maybe, if Luxanna had been from the undercity, maybe she’s in contact with the people who organized the prison raid.

“You’re really hung up about that, aren’tcha?”

“Can you blame me? Jinx, they named you in the attack, and it happened in a place I was held for the past eight years.”

“Heh. Sounds like shit’s getting pretty bad on the outside.”

Vi nodded. “Look, can you just promise to stay tight for a few more weeks? I don’t know if your escape plan has some sort of expiration date on it, but please don’t risk it right now. Not when everyone’s still so riled up about everything.”

“No promises.”

“Jinx…”

“What?”

“I love you,” Vi whispered. “You know that, right? That I’m only trying to help?”

“I do, Vi, but you’ve missed a lot in your time away. Not just about me, but the Lanes, and everything. And now, what? You’re only getting your news from Pilties? That’s gonna be biased as shit!”

“Yeah. You’re probably right, and I’m going to have to be careful with that. Just, please, promise me you’ll be careful too? I really want to come back and visit you again.”

Jinx offered a half-hearted shrug with a weak smile. “I can’t promise that, Vi. I’m not stable enough to promise anyone anything.”

“Then let this place help you! Please. Stick around long enough to find that stability, and then make a decision as big as this.”

“Yeah. I know,” Jinx admitted. “That does sound smart.”

“Alright! Then what’re you scared of? Has this place really been that bad? Like, gods, Powder — sorry, Jinx — the shit I had to put up with in Stillwater? You have it so much better than I ever did, and I’m happy for you. I want that for you.”

“Okay.”

“So, can you please promise me you’ll try?”

“No. Vi, I don’t want to lie to you. I’m probably not gonna be here the next time you can come visit.”

“Don’t say that,” Vi begged. “Don’t say it like I’m never going to see you again.”

Purple tears began to well up in Jinx’s eyes, and she shook her head. “I don’t know that you will. I want you to, but I don’t know.”

“That’s not fair!” Vi’s lip trembled. “You can’t tell me that and expect me not to do anything about it!”

“It’s okay, Vi. You have your cupcake now, and she makes you happy. So you’ll be okay.”

“No, Jinx, stop! There will always be room in my heart for both of you. It’s not a competition, and it never was. So please, please don’t do anything you’ll regret. Please!”

“Vi, I already told Luxie I’d help her. Only thing now I’m scared of is messing up with her.”

“Why? Because you’d regret not giving it a chance?”

Jinx nodded.

“Okay,” Vi sighed, choking back her tears. “Then I need a good-bye hug.”

Chapter Text

“How’s it fit?” Lux asked, finagling with the new hood she had wrapped around Jinx’s head. “Not too snug?”

“I dunno,” Jinx answered flatly. “Can you see my hair?”

“A teeny, tiny bit of it’s poking out, but—” Lux stuck a pair of fingers up by Jinx’s forehead and brushed aside the exposed strands of cyan. “—There! Now it’s just, hmm, your eyes are a bit of a give-away, so we’ll still have to be careful.”

“Yeah? How do I look?”

Lux stood back, hands on hips, and admired her handiwork. “Like a true Demacian au pair ! Except again for the eyes, but there’s not much we can do about that.”

“This is crazy, right?” Jinx asked. “Are we being crazy? ‘Cuz I feel like… like if crazy was anything, then it’d be this.”

“Ha! A little bit,” Lux said as she slid into her pauldrons and bracers. “But that’s the fun part, isn’t it? Getting to let loose a little and have some fun!”

“Luxie, ya look like you’re going out to war. All this armor — You sure they won’t think you’re a threat and shoot ya on sight?”

“If they try, they’ll lose!” Lux laughed. “Any projectiles of theirs are no match for a prismatic barrier shield, and I can rain fire down upon them in return.”

“Sheesh. Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that.”

“Agreed! Stealth is our best option wherever possible. No need to blow cover during such brazen moments of subterfuge.”

“You, uh, sneak around a lot?” Jinx asked.

Lux finished up donning and tightening her Demacian armor, then she reached a hand out to Jinx and grinned wide. “Wouldn’t you like to know! Ready to go?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

It only took a minute more for them to leave the dormitories and make it to the institute’s outer wall. Lux’s skill at escaping seemed so mundane, so well-practiced and routine for her that Jinx was starting to wonder how many times she’d done it. Dozens, if not at least a hundred.

But the question went unasked and unanswered. Lux held up her scepter and summoned a column of light, powering herself to such a degree that every inch of her skin glowed gold. Then she wrapped an arm around Jinx and quickly whisked her away.

They rose ever higher, up and over the outer wall of the Pembroke Institute. Then Lux leaned forward, with the shift of her motion carrying them onward in a gentle glide.

“Oh shit,” Jinx laughed, “We’re actually out!”

“Yep.”

“Almost started to think it’d never happen.”

“Jinx, I’ll keep my word to you.”

“Yeah, I know, but it’s not gonna stop me from having all these doubts and intrusive thoughts.”

As they touched down on the ground, the golden tones of Lux’s skin faded back to normal. What swirling motes of light had surrounded her were gone now, and she was just a girl again. A girl in expensive, foreign armor, carrying a strange metal staff, and bearing the world’s most mischievous grin.

The entire city of Piltover lay before them. Just a quick sprint down the hill and they would make it to the outer structures and homes dotting the town’s perimeter.

“Feels weird that it’s been here this whole time, just waiting right there,” Jinx said. “When we’re inside the Asylum, I might as well be a million miles away.”

“Hm. I hadn’t noticed,” Lux replied. “I’ll chalk that up to being a stranger in a strange land.”

“Sure. And breaking out all the time, so ya kinda got to get your bearings a little.”

“True!”

Jinx turned to Lux and wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you! I don’t say that enough, but I mean it.”

“Thank me?” Lux laughed. “Jinxie, you’re the one doing me a favor.”

“Well, anyway.” Jinx swooped up and planted a kiss on Lux’s cheek. “I wouldn’t be here without ya.”

“We shouldn’t dally,” Lux said as she pulled away. “Long night ahead of us, so let’s move into battle with hearts aglow!”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

Piltover was dead quiet at this time of night. From Jinx’s past experience gallivanting topside, that wasn’t entirely new. Even with the advantage of electronic lighting, the Pilties mostly stuck to a rigid schedule of getting to bed before midnight. But something felt quieter than usual, and it left an uneasy tension in the air.

As the girls pressed further into the city, and the heights of the buildings around them grew taller, it became increasingly difficult to check around the corners to see if anyone was there. The streets felt just empty enough for someone to be hiding and ready to jump out at them, and Jinx was loath to add any noise to the eerie stillness.

It was several minutes later when they came across their first interception, a pair of blue-jacketed thugs with neat, shiny gold lining their pockets.

Jinx held up her hand to stop Lux and whispered, “Stay clear. Enforcers!”

Lux nodded, answering quietly, “What’s the play?”

“Does your invisibility-thingy light-bending trick work if we’re moving?”

“Not reliably. No.”

“Shit.” Jinx tugged on her hood, readjusting its balance. “Let’s just keep our heads down. They don’t know I’m a wanted criminal.”

“No,” Lux chuckled in agreement. “They don’t know anything about either of us.”

Lux grabbed Jinx’s hand and led her forward, hoping the sight of two young women walking the street was inconspicuous enough to not garner the enforcers’ attention.

But she was wrong. Jinx might have been dressed down enough to be relegated to obscurity, but Lux was marching around in full Demacian armor, and carrying a giant metal staff with ornate symbols on it. There was no way that wasn’t going to grab the eyes of every bored Piltovan they passed, and the enforcers were no exception.

One of the men in particular wouldn’t stop looking at her. He waved to get his partner’s attention, and suddenly both of the enforcers were trained on the girls.

“Hey! You there!” he shouted. “What in the fuck do you think you’re doing out this late!?”

“Me?” Lux pointed to herself.

“Who the fuck else would I be talking to!? Yes, you, Lady.”

The guards arrived within arm’s reach, and Jinx kept her hood down. If they couldn’t see her eyes, then they couldn’t identify her, then they wouldn’t know. And what they didn’t know wasn’t going to hurt them!

“Look, Ma’am,” the second guard said, “Ya can’t be out like this.”

“I can’t?”

“What, were ya under a rock all day? Didya missed the curfew declaration?”

“I’m not from here,” Lux answered meekly. Then, finding her strength, she announced, “My name is Luxanna of the noble house Crownguard, and I would ask you respect it! My handmaiden and I are here staying at the Demacian embassy on a diplomatic mission, and have been granted full leave of the city. So I’ll kindly ask you not detain us, lest you risk even more international strife!”

The guards both backed up. One of them lifted an electronic torch and studied the armor Lux was wearing.

“Fuck me, Cregg, it’s true! I’ve seen the Demacie soldiers before, and it looked an awful lot like that.”

“Didn’t even know we had an embassy,” the first guard sneered. “Ay, something about this ain’t passing the sniff test.”

“Don’t be weird, Cregg. Can’tcha see the girl’s scared?”

Cregg stood tall, arms crossed, and tapped his foot indignantly. “Listen, Lady Crownguard, I don’t care what office thought it jolly to give you full leave, but it’s in your best damned interest to git yourself and your slave back to the embassy pronto. We’ve got terrorists running around blowing things up, freeing prisoners and spawning ever manner of anarchy!”

“I appreciate the advice,” Lux told him. “We’ll be more careful, and head straight back to our hotel.”

“Fucking right you will!” Cregg scoffed. “Last thing this city needs is some sorta incident with your people, ‘specially not one owing to their diplomat’s dumbass death wish!”

The other guard smiled apologetically. “Which direction is the embassy again? Cregg and I should escort you back.”

“It’s been moved!” Lux told him. “The previous location, as you can imagine—”

“Was it that fucking hexbomb?” Cregg interrupted. “Night of the Red Moon leveled a whole fucking political district! Makes ya wonder how we were stupid enough to put everyone in charge of everything all in one basket.”

“Yes, it was temporarily moved,” Lux lied. “We’ve been put up at the Yellow Pillow lately.”

“That fucking pisshole? For foreign dignitaries?” Cregg broke into an ugly chuckle. “Well, at least it’s gonna keep ya humble, Little Lady. Servant of the people, am I right?”

“You deserve better!” the second guard added. “We’re sorry for holding you up, but, really, you should let us escort you back there. It’s not safe out at night!”

Lux turned to Jinx, trying to garner her opinion, but Jinx kept her head down and neither answered nor weighed in. She was a mute little handmaiden, unimportant, not one to be trusted with such big decisions!

“Ah — Very well,” Lux said. “If the two of you would kindly guide us to the Yellow Pillow, my handmaiden and I would be most grateful.”

“Alright,” Cregg said. “Off we go, then.”

It was three blocks away, which shouldn’t have felt very far, but time works differently when you have officers of the law standing over your shoulders. Lux hummed to herself in a low, cheerful tune, hoping to dissuade the enforcers from finding an opening for further conversation. If they could all just get on with their night and act like nothing happened, then that would be the best for everyone!

Fortunately, Lux’s plan was largely successful. The guards seemed more than content to chatter between each other, mostly blathering on about how they thought the curfew should be extended indefinitely. They wore their hatred for the undercity proud on their lips, excited to share fantasies about burying everyone down below in retribution for all the recent attacks — the council bombing, a prison break at Stillwater, and a dozen other small fires that had popped up around the city.

It was difficult to listen to, but it didn’t last forever. When they got to the Yellow Pillow hotel, the enforcers waved Lady Luxanna and her handmaiden inside, then bid them a happy rest of their evening.

“Well, that was awkward,” Jinx laughed, finally breaking her silence. “Never went along with a Piltie before — Let alone a couple of enforcers!”

Lux nodded. “There’s a first time for everything, I suppose.”

“Yeah, you’d think.”

“Hmm?”

Jinx gestured to the hotel around them. “How’d you even know this place existed? Like, how many times have you been here?”

“This place? I’ve only seen it in passing.”

“In — What? No!” Jinx stammered. “The other night, I thought, when you — with the paint — Was that not your first time in the city?”

“Oh,” Lux chuckled to herself. “I told you already, I’m full of secrets!”

“That’s not an answer.”

“No, I guess it’s not.”

Jinx grunted, confused, “Are you seriously not gonna tell me?”

“Right now? I don’t know. We’ve still got a lot left to do tonight, and I don’t want anything to get in the way of that. Come on! We should keep moving.”

Something was wrong. Jinx couldn’t put her finger on quite what it was, but the questions were eating away at her. And with the questions came doubts, and with the doubts came…

“She’s lying to you!” Silco’s ghost accused. “She doesn’t trust you with the truth!”

Jinx ignored the chance to spout back at him, but she couldn’t deny that he was probably right. Whatever Lux was hiding had to be something big, and that was going to nag at her until the Demacienne spat it out.

But then something else happened. The two girls arrived at the bridge.

In crossing through Piltover and making their way to the undercity, it was inevitable that they eventually venture upon the accursed overpass. But Jinx had been putting it out of mind as much as she could, not wanting to imagine what volumes of fresh psychological horror it would expose.

She could see it all again now. The explosions, the gore, her sister running away, and her oldest friend mercilessly beating her into a pulp.

She had wanted to die. Wanted to end it then and there on her own terms.

She had almost succeeded.

“Your sister left you here!” Silco hissed. “For that Kiramman girl. This is where she did it!”

“No, don’t say that.”

“And you killed him, too, Jinx! That little Firelight friend of yours! Oh, the runt had always been such a pain in my side, but he was going to let you live, wasn’t he? No, you couldn’t have that, could you? You needed a clean finish!”

Jinx halted in the middle of the bridge. Standing in place, her breathing hitched all ragged and tortured. Spasming, her muscles fell into disarray, and suddenly she was struck with an overwhelming awareness of the cold, watery air in the night. It was rushing along the river beneath them, carrying with it a frigid, salty musk, and chilling Jinx to the bone.

Lux noticed a moment later. She turned around, confusion filling her face. “Psst! Hurry up, handmaiden. You don’t want to be late!”

Jinx shook her head, her voice squeaky and barely audible. “Th-This is where it happened.”

“Where what hap—?” Lux stopped herself. “Oh, fuck. This is the bridge. The one where you…?”

Jinx nodded somberly.

“Ah, shitfuck, Jinx. I didn’t — ah — Sorry. Wow. Are you okay?”

“Let’s just go,” Jinx mumbled. “Please, Luxie, I don’t wanna be here. Don’t wanna think about it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Lux assured her, “But, well, you know we’re picking up corpses tonight, right? Those bodies are going to be dead, too, so you might have to be a little more comfortable with death than this.”

“Luxie, don’t. It’s different when it’s your own!”

“Fuck, no, you’re right.” Lux swooped in to grab Jinx’s hands and guide her along. “Okay, how about this? We’ll hurry across now, and, on our way back, we’ll find a different way out of the city, alright?”

“You ended it here!” Silco’s ghost scolded. “I had to save you!”

“No,” Jinx whimpered. “I didn’t want you to!”

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter, Jinx! Look what you made me do. Look what you made me make of you! It’s all your fault, you know that!?”

“Jinx, what’s happening?” Lux pulled her in. “What can I do?”

“Just cross, Luxie. We need to go.”

“Oh, yes, run!” Silco screamed. “Run like you always do! Run away from me, from your problems — It’s all you were ever good at!”

“No, no, no, no, nooo!”

“You think you can scamper off somewhere that I can’t reach you!? You think you can escape me!? Stupid girl. You may have flown well over the Asylum walls, but there are no boundaries for me!”

Jinx, hyperventilating, tripped over herself as she ran. Crashing down to the bridge’s pavement, she flopped and crumpled into a wreck.

“I can’t!” she cried. “T-take me back, Luxie. I don’t want to be here anymore!”

“Hey, we’re already halfway there!” Lux said, stooping down to take the girl’s hand again. “Whatever’s happening, let me help you through it.”

“It won’t matter, Luxie. Everywhere I go, he’s not gonna leave me alone. None of them ever do.”

“Who?” Lux asked in a low voice. “Who’s bothering you?”

“Everyone that’s not here anymore… In the flesh.”

“Your ghosts? I thought they weren’t bothering you anymore — Not supposed to when I’m here.”

“Only when I trust you,” Jinx explained as her voice croaked. “But you’ve been lying to me this whole time, haven’t you? Acting like it’s all fun and games, but you know I hate lying! I’ve told you so many times.”

“Jinx, it’s — I can explain.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, sure, anything,” Lux said evasively. “What do you want to know?”

“How many times have you been to the city? How did you get that Shimmer for me!?”

“Oh, that.” Lux stood up and started to pace around the bridge. “Look, Jinx, whatever I didn’t tell you about that, it was for your own protection. I can explain it all, but you’re probably not going to like it.”

“Tell me everything!”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Yes!”

Lux sucked in her teeth, hesitating for another moment. “Look, I kind of already knew who you were before.”

“Before what?”

“Before a lot of things. I’d been at the Asylum for a long time, and some of the patients coming through were recovering addicts from this drug I had never seen before. And, I guess I got curious about where it came from.”

“What drug?”

“The-the one you call Shimmer. Although it was getting lots of other names from lots of other people.”

“I don’t understand,” Jinx said. “You’ve been sneaking out this whole time even before I got there?”

“Jinx, it’s not what you might think. I’ve been looking for someone like you ever since I got locked up — A partner to help me make my final getaway. And I figured if I learned a little more about this Shimmer thing, then maybe it’d help me with some of the Asylum’s new inmates. Honestly, Jinx, I never expected the loose cannon of the undercity herself to show up! That was — whew — plot twist!”

“That’s all I am to you?” Jinx grumbled. “A tool!?”

“What!? No, Jinx, I’m your biggest fan! I’ve been rooting for you and your old man as long as I’ve known about you. Because you’re right — Fuck the topside! It’s people like them that hate people like you and me, delegating us to obscurity because they’re afraid of our potential, and they want to stay on top.”

Jinx chewed on the Demacienne’s words, mulling them over and processing to try and put every piece together. “Then what happened the other day? You hit up an old dealer to buy me a bottle of the good stuff on your trip to the market?”

“Actually, unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy,” Lux explained. “The Lanes have been a little dry since one of the bigger factories was hit a few weeks ago. Dealers are rationing, and they’re not trusting outsiders anymore.”

“Great! So you stole some, and now there’s gonna be a price on your head.”

“Better!” Lux brightened up. “I was able to offer my services to a certain chembaron. Renni, I think? In exchange for my — ah — help at Stillwater, she’d give me a huge supply of Shimmer for you.”

“That was Renni’s job?” Jinx asked. “That old snake?”

“I believe so. She’s looking for new recruits, and probably hired a bunch of the new escapees I helped set free. Not a bad plan, if you ask me.”

“So, I was involved!” Jinx gasped. “Vi kept asking me about the prison break, and I swore I didn’t know anything! But Vi said there was a giant magic laser, and that was you!”

“Guilty,” Lux chuckled. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat, Jinx. Because you’re worth it. That’s how I feel about you, and I don’t care who knows it.”

“No. If you really felt that way, you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“But—”

“Luxie, I don’t wanna be with someone I can’t trust! It always, always goes wrong when I do, so I’d rather just be alone. I’m not weak, and I don’t need somebody to lie to me to protect me! If you can’t accept that, then I don’t want to be with you.”

“Oh.” Lux sat down and closed her eyes, hand on her face. “I understand. Fuck, I — ah — How can I make it up to you?”

“Tell me if that’s everything,” Jinx said. “Or are there more lies?”

“It’s all I can think of right now — I’d heard about you through the grapevine, recognized some of your handiwork, and helped the chembaron Renni stage a prison break in your name to trade for some Shimmer. Do you hate me?”

Jinx shook her head slowly. “No. You were only trying to help. I can see that now.”

“Do you trust me?”

“No.” Jinx stood up and breathed in deep, exhaling after several moments. “My dad was right not to trust anyone, not even you. And I was stupid, but I made a promise, and I’m gonna keep it.”

“What does that mean for us? For tonight?”

Jinx shrugged, shaking her head. “Let’s go get those bodies.”

“Okay. Thank you. Thank you! ”

“We’ll talk about this later, Luxanna. You can thank me if we pull it off.”

“I understand.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

Down in the undercity’s deepest sump, where no light had ever touched before, there was a giant, rancid mountain of corpses. To the locals, it was just ‘the pile’. Anyone not lucky enough to be dragged to the sea was destined to end up there. Add another one to the pile! And another, and one more for good measure!

There was no dignity in the matter, and it could hardly be considered sanitary, but the pile proved marginally better than leaving the dead where they fell in the streets. Rats, vultures and every manner of scavenger had made the dump their most frequent haunt, but that was the price you paid for centrality.

“Oh, gods, I can smell it,” Lux gagged. “The air, it’s teeming with rot!”

“We’ll be there soon,” Jinx confirmed. “Should’ve brought a mask, but too late for that.”

Lux nodded stiffly, her hand covering her face. “I’ll need to risk some light when we get there. Enough to help us judge the size and ethnicity of our corpses.”

“Skin’s not gonna matter,” Jinx said. “We’re burning ‘em to the bone.”

“Guaranteed?”

“Probably. I mean, it will if the chemical fire I make works as well as it needs to.”

“Jinx, I’d feel better if we grabbed as close of look-alikes as we can. Better safe than sorry, right?”

“If you insist,” Jinx replied dryly. “It’s your funeral.”

As the two of them crested upon the pile, all the little sump rats scattered immediately. Their fetid squeaking screamed out in paranoia, echoing eerily off of the fissure walls as they ran away on their tiny clawed feet. Into pipes and stacks of trash they burrowed, finding safety from the intruders wherever was most convenient, not caring a lick that their home was rotten garbage.

Or maybe the rats savored it. Maybe they relished the smell of death and decay as the sweetest scent in the sump. Either way, they weren’t alone in their rabid foraging of the pile. Standing hunched over, misshapen and forlorn, there were almost a dozen shadowy figures lurking in the midst.

Lux pointed out at them and gasped. “We’re not alone.”

“Yeah, duh,” Jinx said. “We’re not the first ones to benefit from searching through a stack of dead bodies.”

“Should we scare them off?”

Jinx shrugged again. “If you want.”

Lux lifted her magic scepter high, choking as she accidentally breathed too deep. Then she gathered herself, and gathered a ball of light around her upstretched wand. Its magical aura flickered into the dark, casting long shadows around the outskirts of the sump, but it was better than nothing.

And, just like that, every hunched over figure perusing the pile turned their heads to see who had come. Their skin was sickly, pale, and purple in parts where it shouldn’t have been — All the signs of addicts whose life had hit a most literal rock bottom.

“Scram!” Jinx yelled. “Me and the lady gotta do something real quick.”

A few of the pale scavengers obliged her, running off into the corners of the pile until they were no longer in view. But most of them stood still in their haunt, staring at Jinx to try and figure her out.

“It’s her!” one of the figures murmured. “Silco’s pet.”

“It’s Jinx!?” another pale creature echoed in fear.

The first one nodded greedily. “Renni will want to know! Renni will pay in purple!”

At that, a chant of “Renni, Renni, Renni!” broke out among the scavenging chorus. Their voices were dry, weak, and eerie, too thin to bounce off the walls. It flustered Jinx so severely that she couldn’t find a counterplay.

“Wait!” she said. “Don’t!”

But it was too late. The pale harbingers ran around and away, continuing their chant as they went. Their intention was clear, and a timeline established.

“Luxie, we gotta go quick. We’ve got ten minutes tops before they’re back with the baron.”

“Should that frighten us?” Lux asked. “Renni helped me get the Shimmer for you, and still owes me quite a lot of it.”

“She wants me dead!” Jinx snapped. “Or outta the picture, at least. But dead’s better.”

“Why?”

“I dunno! Prolly ‘cuz I wasn’t that nice to her, and she hated my dad for being better than her at everything.”

“Then we’ll be quick,” Lux decided. “I’ll set up a little more light. Then we can grab the first two bodies that fit the bill. And, after that, we’ll race on out of here, like it never even happened.”

“Okay, good. Hurry.”

The first body was easy. Half a minute into their search, Lux had already picked out the corpse of a recently deceased young woman. She was short enough, and frail with pale skin and long, purplish hair. As the girls dragged the body away from the rest of the group, they measured its length against Jinx’s height. Only an inch or two off! So definitely close enough for the purposes of their designs.

But finding an analogue for Lux was harder. Having had such immediate and obvious success with their first pick, the couple found it difficult to settle on any of the other corpses to serve as their second dummy. Too small, too furry, too masculine, too dark, too decayed, too many missing limbs, et cetera.

“Our standards are too high,” Lux realized after several minutes had passed. “We’ll probably never find one in the goldilocks zone.”

“What about this one?” Jinx said, pulling out a skinny, middle-aged woman with ragged, dirty-blonde hair.

Lux sighed. “It’s not remotely flattering, but it should get the job done. Can you carry her?”

“Yeah, just gimme a sec.”

Click. Clack. Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

Jinx didn’t even have time to hoist the body and prepare to leave. Before she could start, they were interrupted by the sound of a couple dozen boots marching their way to the pile.

“Shit!” Jinx cursed. “They’re here.”

Without another word, Lux extinguished her light and stashed her staff, hiding it so the incoming party wouldn’t immediately take an affront.

Chembaron Renni emerged a moment later. She looked tall for her size, built up by a long trench coat with some sort of fur, or feathered animal wrung around her neck. Where her nose should have been, there was a small metal box with green tubes sticking out — The ugliest chemtech Jinx had ever seen.

None of the soldiers surrounding the baron seemed to mind her grotesque appearance. As they stood encircling her at least a dozen strong, each of them wielded some form of razor bat or similarly hideous weapon. It was an intimidation tactic, plain and simple, and it worked especially well when Jinx was caught without her guns.

The baron stepped forward first, eyeing Jinx and giving a heavily effected sigh. “Well, there you are.”

“Here I am!”

“If I’m being completely honest,” Renni continued. “I half expected these louts reporting you to have been mistaken. You know how they can be so addled sometimes.”

“Oh yeah?” Jinx scoffed. “Then why’d ya come?”

Renni chuckled to herself. “Please, it was only a matter of time before you showed up again! You possess neither the dignity nor patience to stay put. Not even after everything’s gone to shit for you!”

“Heh, well, you found me!” Jinx said. “Don’t mind us, though. Sure, we’re digging through corpses, but it’s not like we’re gonna find your little redheaded kiddo in here!”

The chembaron seethed. She launched forward and jabbed a finger in Jinx’s face. “HOW DARE YOU!? My child’s fate was bad enough, perished by those vile men in blue. You leave him out of this!”

“Guess ya kinda owe me then for knocking down the council, huh?”

“So… It was you?”

“Who else?” Jinx laughed. “Silco’s final request.”

A wicked smile curled around Renni’s face as she recomposed herself. “Then you did me a double favor that day! Ridding me of my biggest competition both topside and under? The irony of it is not lost on me.”

“You’re welcome?”

“No! You have no thanks from me,” the chembaron said. “Every good thing you’ve ever accomplished was only on accident, and I can’t allow that risk to continue! Now, with Silco having been so graciously cast aside, you have no one left to protect you! Like father, like daughter…”

Lux stepped in, raising her scepter high and summoning a ball of light. “She has ME!”

“You!?” Renni gasped. “You’re working with her — With this goblin!?”

“I am. And you still owe me—” Lux gestured to the lineup of goons standing behind the baron. “—For them! How many of these thugs did I help free from the prison?”

A murmur of confusion worked its way through the crowd as they tried to come to terms with Lux’s revelation. Some of them made a move to lunge at Lux, but Renni held her hands out and stopped them.

“Alright, then,” the baron huffed. “I’m listening.”

“Excellent! Thank you. It’s simple, really. Jinx and I need a way out of the city. One that takes us northside without crossing the bridge.”

“And then what?” the baron demanded. “Will you be leaving this city for good, never to return?”

“Hardly! We’ll be back as soon as we can, after we’ve finished a quick operation.”

Renni glanced around at her armed goons, and nodded to them in some sort of signal. Then she turned to Lux and tutted. “Wrong answer, magic girl! You and the loose cannon aren’t wanted here!”

“To clarify,” Lux said, “Are you telling me to kill you and each of your soldiers? Because I’m certainly up to the task, but it isn’t my first choice.”

In a quick swoop, the chembaron withdrew a dagger and jabbed it in Lux’s direction. “Not if you’re dead!” she roared.

But Lux turned to the side and let the blade glance off her armor. It was a move that came from instinct — from a soldier’s ritual practice and combative ardor.

Then Lux spun her scepter around, and thwapped its metal bar against the baron’s legs! Renni crumpled instantly, reduced to a blubbering mess of flesh on the ground. It was all the provocation her goons needed, each of them ready to take up the fight where their master had failed.

“Get her!” they yelled. “She can’t take all of us!”

The goons swarmed Lux and Jinx both in unruly chunks, with each group trying their best to find an opening, but their best was not up to scruff. Fists, knives and batons all flew at Lux, they were met with armor and magic lasers.

As Jinx watched from behind, feeling unable to assist without a weapon, it didn’t matter. Lux had the fight so well in hand that she was giggling at the demise of her foes.

“Hello, people who irrationally want to kill me!” she laughed. “Who’s up next to die!?”

Lux continued boring holes through the goons with her lasers as they kept approaching her.

Before long, the smell of singed flesh and boiling blood had replaced the putrefaction in the air, to the point that even Jinx was finding it hard to breathe. Yet it didn’t stop the goons from attempting to attack! Each of them stupider than the last, they rushed on Lux and raced to their doom.

Only one brave idiot recoiled from the fight. While all his friends and colleagues were being deleted with beams of rainbow colors, he crawled back behind a pile of garbage and held his hands above his head.

“I-I give up!” he stammered. “P-please have m-mercy!”

Lux finished felling the other goons and powered down her staff. “Oh yeah? Want to try being friends?”

“Y-yes! I kn-know a p-place! It’s-it’s-it’s a port th-that Renni u-used.”

“Luxie,” Jinx cut in, “It’s a trap!”

“No! Please, it-it’s n-not a trap. The port, it-it’s how w-we got back down here after you, y-you freed us from Stillwater.”

“Makes sense,” Lux admitted. “Alright, then. Give me and Jinx time to wrap things up here, and then you can take us.”

“What?” Jinx said. “We’re going with him!?”

Lux nodded. “Poor guy’s scared stiff. He knows he’s dead the second he tries anything.”

“I-I never liked R-Renni anyway,” the goon explained. “Sh-she’s — I’m glad you killed her!”

“Actually, I’m not sure she’s dead yet.” Lux walked over to where the chembaron had crumpled down to the floor, and gave a little nudge with her wand. “Hey there. In the mood for another chat?”

Renni turned over slowly, blood in her mouth and bitterness in her eyes. “You’ll pay for this, you witch! I have connections down here, people who will hunt you to the ends of the city!”

“I don’t understand,” Lux mocked. “Are you saying you want me to bury you in the corpse pile and melt all the flesh together so that no one ever finds your body? Because that’s what it sounds like to me. Jinx, am I hearing her wrong?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Excellent! Very excellent.”

Renni’s eyes went wide as Lux raised her scepter and charged her laser.

“Any last words, Fuckface?”

“You freaks are going to die!”

Lux shook her head, still laughing. “Well, she’s not wrong!”

A bright golden light jumped out from the Demacienne’s staff, slamming against the ground and digging its way through the Renni’s face. What had been the baron’s upper body just moments ago was now a puddle of steaming red viscera.

“Sheesh,” Jinx said. “You’re actually crazier than I am.”

“And you love me for it!”

“I dunno, Luxie. Can we just pick up what we came here for and go back? I wanna be done.”

“Oh.” Lux dusted herself off, then glanced between Jinx and their would-be guide. “Yeah, alright.”

“Thank you.”

“Wait, hang on — I didn’t scare you too, did I?”

Jinx picked up her look-alike corpse and shrugged. “Let’s just go home. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Chapter Text

It was almost morning again by the time Jinx and Lux made it back to the Pembroke Institute. The birds in their trees had already woken up and started singing their songs, each of them knowing full well that the sun would arrive within the hour.

For her final magic trick of the night, Lux wrapped an arm around Jinx and both of the corpses they were carrying, securing everything as best as she could. Then, with a pillar of light summoned down to her feet, she lifted them all off the ground.

The ascent was slow, and Jinx couldn’t tell whether that had more to do with Lux being careful or fatigued. All she knew was that she wanted to get inside the dorm as soon as possible and crash in her bed. Skip breakfast. Skip therapy. Just stay in bed and sleep a hundred hours or more, and maybe down a whole vial of Shimmer afterwards.

No, that was too much. A whole vial would be too much. But the point remained that Jinx was ready to crawl into a hole and forget everything else.

Lux’s magic flight touched down on the far side of the wall, on the inside of the institute where the situation was expectedly glum. Everyone else was still asleep, meaning Jinx and Luxx were free to wander the grounds and finish their chore.

“So, uh, do you wanna leave ‘em on the rooftop or what?” Jinx asked. “‘Cuz I don’t think I’m gonna be able to hide a couple of dead bodies in my room.”

Lux shook her head slowly, stifling a yawn. “Don’t need to. There’s a there’s a shed we can hide them behind. I’ll show you.”

“And nobody’s gonna notice?”

“Doubt it. I kept my staff back there for months and it never budged.”

“Fine,” Jinx relented. “Let’s do it.”

Sensing her tone, Lux said, “You’re not — ah — you’re not still mad at me, are you?”

“Luxie, I’m too tired to be much of anything right now. Just wanna jump in a bed and forget it all. Forget Renni, forget the escape plan, forget my sister. All of it.”

“But not forever, right?”

Jinx shrugged. “You can ask me again at dinner.”

“Oh, uh,” Lux stammered. “Did you not want to sleep together?”

“I dunno, Luxie. You lied to me about almost everything, and I don’t wanna ruin a good thing by blowing up on you before I’ve had the chance to process what happened. Gonna try to actually do the healthy thing for once and talk to the doctor.”

“The therapist?”

“Yeah, her,” Jinx answered. “I’ve only got one more session before we blow this joint, so might as well make it count. Y’know, just in case it helps.”

Lux set a cold hand on Jinx’s shoulder, rubbing her gently with frigid fingers. “Is there anything else I can say to make it better? To explain why or what I did?”

“No, Luxie, it’s okay. I understand plenty about what happened. Just need help figuring out how I feel about it.”

“That’s shockingly mature of you,” Lux decided. “Can I just make one request, please?”

“Okay…?”

“Don’t tell the doctor anything that would jeopardize the mission. She’ll have to report you, and that would ruin everything.”

“I know, Luxie. I’ll be careful.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

The therapy room looked different. Nothing about it had changed, of course, but there was something about knowing that it might be her final time in the doctor’s office that had Jinx looking at everything in a new light.

Its walls were still ridiculously boring, and the décor hadn’t improved at all, but instead of feeling fake and manufactured, it felt somehow empty, or distant, like the room was withdrawing from Jinx as much as she had been pulling away herself. The sensation lended the world a certain surreal quality, both liminal and noncommittal in the way it blurred the lines.

But that hadn’t stopped the therapist from putting on a cheery face. She sat down in her usual boring desk and carefully adjusted her chair so it was in the most boring position.

“Good afternoon, Miss Jinx. How are you feeling today?”

“Like shit. How are you?”

“Oh, um, okay. Would you like to unpack any of that?”

Jinx looked up at the therapist unblinking. “Nope.”

“Something else, then. What about, I’ve been told that you didn’t show up for breakfast this morning. Can we talk about that?”

“It’s fine, Doc. I was sleeping in.”

“Well, when you miss your meals, you miss your meds. And it’s hard to get better without your medication.”

“Said I’m fine, Doc. I’ve got Shimmer now, so I’m all good.”

The therapist furrowed her brow, studying Jinx intently. “I’d almost believe it with the way your eyes look today. But Jinx, there’s no way a drug like that is on any of our physicians’ regimens.”

“It’s not,” Jinx agreed. “Smuggled it in from one of the nuns.”

“I beg your pardon? This isn’t a nunnery.”

“Oh, really? Try telling that to Miss Yerbusiness.”

“Who?”

Jinx bit her lip, stifling a giggle. “Yeah. Lady who smuggled in the Shimmer’s Nun Yerbusiness.”

“Okay, that’s — Jinx, that was entirely uncalled for. I’m only giving you this advice because the physicians here know what’s best for our bodies. It’s in our best interest to follow their orders.”

“Same go for you, Doc? You taking any of their meds?”

“Yes, actually,” the therapist admitted. “Although, for legal reasons, I’m not supposed to disclose them to my clients.”

“Right! Wouldn’t wanna violate the Ethos!”

“It’s more pedestrian than that, Jinx. The Pembroke Institute has to shield itself from medical malpractice slander.”

“Why? Ya got something to hide?”

“No, but having the policy of nondisclosure means the board can immediately invalidate any claims made by our patients against their caretakers.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, so, unfortunately, my medical status will have to remain private for now. I hope you understand why.”

“Yeah.” Jinx sat back and kicked up her feet. “Whatever. You gotta do the Piltie thing and follow the legalese.”

“Can we talk about your rebellion yesterday?” the therapist asked.

“Which one?”

“Jinx, you somehow managed to find several buckets of paint that had not been assigned to you, and you vandalized your room egregiously.”

Jinx broke out in laughter, having briefly forgotten what counted as rebellion to these squares. “That’s not a rebellion! We were just having fun.”

“You broke the rules on purpose, and did so in quite a provocative display.”

“Yeah, but c’mon, we weren’t hurting anyone!”

“By ‘we’, I assume you mean you and Miss Luxanna?”

“Duh.”

“And how are things going with her?”

“No. She’s pissing me off, so I don’t wanna talk about her. Can we go back to why you seem to think me painting a buncha monsters on the wall counts as a rebellion? That should be interesting.”

“Was it not intended as a rebellious act?”

“No. It’s just painting.”

“Alright then.” The therapist frowned, begrudgingly acquiescing the point. “What’s that like for you? The whole artistic process — selecting a color, selecting a subject — How do you decide what and why?”

“I dunno. I just do whatever comes to me.”

“Sounds like there’s a lot of catharsis in the act. Given a choice between these two, do you find your painting tends to be more meditative or exhilarating?”

“Yes, and also yes,” Jinx said. “Usually depends on what kinda rules I’m breaking or how many people I’m punking.”

“Does that not make it a rebellious act?”

“Nuh-uh. Rebellion’s when ya encourage a bunch of others to break the rules. Doing it for yourself’s just… I dunno… self expression?” 

“Hmm, I see. Well, while I disagree on definitions, I appreciate the distinction you’re making. Then would you say it’s exciting for you when an act of painting is transgressive?”

“Sure, Doc. Let’s go with that.”

“Do you take pride in your artwork?”

“Yeah, no shit. What kinda question is that?”

“An explorative one,” the therapist explained. “At this point, now that your room is more decorated, I imagine you’ll be spending much of your day looking at it — at what you painted.”

“Duh.”

“Sure, it seems obvious, but hear me out. With any artistic work, we have three primary approaches. Respectively, these are scrutiny, admiration, and distance.”

“Heh. That’s s.a.d. .”

“Why?”

“Never mind,” Jinx told her. “You wouldn’t get it.”

The therapist shook her head and retraced her steps. “Going back to those three options I listed, would you agree that your response matches better to admiration than it does distance or scrutiny?”

“Sure. I’m not picky. I like what I like, and I make what I like, so…”

“Great! That’s good to hear. I’ll be happy if your paintings assist your therapy in any way, even if it was against regulation at the time.”

“Ugh.” Jinx rolled her eyes.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“I dunno, Doc. Can’t you ever tell me I did a good job without having to tack on that I fucked up?”

“Is that what you want me to be, Jinx? Your enabler?”

“No. Ugh. You’re twisting my words.”

“I’m sorry,” the therapist said. “I am. That’s not how I meant to come across.”

“No, of course not, Doc. You don’t ever mean to do anything and it’s never your fault.”

The therapist blinked in annoyance, but otherwise ignored the accusation. “Jinx, now that we’ve had a few sessions together, what is it you expect to take away from your time with me?”

“I dunno. I just wanna feel better about who I am so I don’t keep thinking I might as well not be here anymore.”

The therapist grew quiet, choosing her following words carefully. “Okay, Jinx, I can’t be the one to decide for you whether your life is worth living, but I can suggest that you stop being so hard on yourself. You’re holding yourself and others to an impossible standard, seeming to believe that anything short of perfection is a complete failure.”

“But, I—”

“Let me finish, Jinx. You have this terrible habit, I’ve noticed, where you go out of your way to avoid taking blame for anything. Not simply because you’re irresponsible, but because you’re scared that you can’t be loved if you’re not perfectly honest, and perfectly strong, or perfectly competent at everything. But Jinx, nobody in the entire world is perfect at anything, so you don’t have to be either.”

“Yes I do.”

“Why, Jinx? Why do you have to be perfect?”

“Because I jinx everything! Don’t you get it!? I won’t be good enough until I stop jinxing the people I care about. And that’s never gonna happen, because…”

“Because you’re a jinx?” the therapist finished. “Is that why you adopted the moniker?”

“Yeah.”

“But you know it’s normal for everyone to make mistakes, right? You’re not unusually prone to them, as far as I can tell, so why should you be burdened by them more than anyone else? That’s not fair to you.”

“I’m — um — I don’t know,” Jinx said. “But you’re wrong.”

“About what?”

“When I mess up, it goes really really bad, so I can’t afford to mess up. It can’t be my fault.”

“Do you mean like with the council tower?”

Jinx snapped. “I didn’t fuck that one up.”

“You don’t think so?”

“No! Knocking over the stupid Piltie tower was completely on purpose, and Fishbones worked even better than I’d planned!”

The therapist cursed under her breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Then please, Jinx, talk to me about what’s scaring you. What are you afraid of being, or causing to happen?”

“I killed my dad,” Jinx answered flatly. Her voice was low and monotone in a desperate attempt to keep from breaking. “He’s dead, and it’s all my fault no matter how I slice it. Oh, I’ve tried, Doc! I keep running it back in my head and keep seeing the same fucking thing. It’s all my fault!”

“I’m sorry…”

“Are you!?”

The therapist nodded. “Of course. How did it happen?”

“I pulled the trigger — bullets went through him. Can’t blame Caitlyn ‘cuz I’d already knocked her out. Can’t blame Vi ‘cuz she didn’t have a weapon. Can’t even blame Dad because — heh — who’s the one that gave him the gun he pointed at Vi? Me! So, there we have it, right? Right, Doc? It was all me! My dad’s dead because I shot him, because I was scared that the gun I handed him was gonna kill my sister.”

The therapist said nothing, her mouth hanging open agape.

“What?” Jinx scoffed. “Too much? No, c’mon, it’s just a little oopsie daisy! Everyone’s — haven’t we all — I mean, doesn’t everyone murder their parents? Twice!? And their brothers too? Or were you maybe just a little bit off about the whole mistakes thing! ?”

“Jinx…”

“Yeah,” she sighed, choking back a purple tear. “That’s me.”

They sat in silence together for a while. Jinx stared off into the corner of the room, waiting for someone else to take a turn talking, but not even her ghosts peeped up.

So she let the tears run, not bothering to brush them aside nor ask for a tissue. There was nothing left to prove. Not after letting it all out.

“I can’t imagine how much that weighs on you,” the therapist finally said. “I’ve never — hmm — been responsible for a loss as great as that.”

Jinx shrugged lazily. “Lucky you.”

“Do you mind if we talk about him? What your father meant to you?”

“He’s, uh, still around sometimes,” Jinx answered. “He used to think I was perfect, but now it feels like all he does is tell me what a disappointment I am. Doesn’t approve of anything I do, doesn’t approve of Luxie. None of it.”

“He’s one of the ghosts you talk to?” the therapist clarified. “Is he mad at you for what you did to him?”

“No,” Jinx said. “It’s other stuff, like who I trust or talk to.”

“Meaning your friend, Miss Luxanna?”

“Her. Vi. Caitlyn. All of them.”

“Well, perhaps he’s trying to echo the feelings you yourself harbor. I don’t know how this — um — presence of his works, but it occurs to me that he’s repeating or exposing your own thoughts to you.”

“I don’t know,” Jinx said. “I hope not.”

“Explain.”

“He… he keeps telling me not to trust Luxie, even though I really want to. ‘Cuz I really like her! But if he’s just saying that ‘cuz he sees what I’m really feeling inside, then how do I know what’s real?”

“I see. Well, Jinx, when it comes to our emotions and intuitions, none of us know exactly what we’re feeling. Not always. But we can better categorize our feelings with a bit of analysis.”

“How?”

“Like what you’ve been doing with me, but even more specific than that. You need an external viewer — someone who isn’t yourself, nor the voices in your head. Otherwise you’ll create an echo chamber, repeating your own thoughts to yourself so much that they become muddled and lose all clarity.”

“Oh.”

“Let’s start with Miss Luxanna,” the therapist suggested. “I understand you have a lot of feelings about her, so maybe I can help you figure out how to sort and use them all. Because, believe it or not, Jinx, everything you feel about her is real. But not all feelings are equally useful.”

“Okay,” Jinx said, slowing down to gather her thoughts. “The thing I can’t get over right now is how much she lied to me. She knew I didn’t like it, but she did it anyway.”

“That’s more common than you think, Jinx. Especially for a couple of people just getting to know each other.”

“Not like this, it’s not! Luxie knew who I was for months before even meeting me, and pretended like she didn’t!”

“Did you ever ask her whether she was familiar with you?”

“No!” Jinx scoffed. “Why would I?”

“Because, from the sounds of it, you’ve developed a minor celebrity in certain parts of the city, so I would imagine your name often precedes you.”

“That’s not the same! She’s from Demacia, so why would I expect her to know about me?”

“I don’t know her history, Jinx, but perhaps she’s spent time in the city before. It’d help to explain why she was interned here instead of a Demacian institution.”

“Heh. There’s no way Demacia’s got therapy. They’re all stupid over there!”

“Okay,” the therapist said. “I don’t approve of you disparaging an entire people group like that, but I’ll concede your point. Did you ever think to ask her how much of the city she had visited before?”

“No! But she could’ve told me.”

“Indeed. She could have. Are there any possible reasons why she may not have wanted to trust you with that information?”

“Duh. She was manipulating me.”

“For what?”

“To get on my good side so I’d help her come up with an escape plan. If I knew she knew who I was, then maybe I wouldn’t have trusted her as much as I did.”

“Is that what your father’s telling you?”

“Yeah. Him and Mylo too sometimes. They both think I’m stupid for trusting her.”

“Do you think you’re stupid?”

“I do now!” Jinx whined. “It’s so obvious, and I should’ve known.”

“Perhaps, but lots of things are a lot easier to see in retrospect. That doesn’t always mean you could have known better.”

“Ugh. Whatever.”

“So, Jinx, we’ve established that Miss Luxanna broke your trust. And trust is essential in any relationship, so your feelings about that are valid. But what about your other feelings?”

“Like what?”

“You told me you wanted to trust her. There aren’t a lot of people you choose to trust, so why did you pick her?”

“Did I? Or did she pick me!?”

“For better or worse, it sounds like you’ve both chosen each other. So, let me ask you, ignoring for the moment that she misrepresented herself, what are the things you like about her?”

“I’m not in love with her, if that’s what you’re asking. Sure, she’s pretty or whatever, but I could’ve gotten any guy or girl I wanted before.”

“Then what is it that’s special about her?”

“I dunno.”

“Jinx, you don’t have to be embarrassed about this around me. I’m not judging you.”

“Okay,” Jinx relented. “I guess I like it when she asks how I’m doing sometimes, but now I know it’s just a trick! She’s trying to find stuff about me so she can manipulate me into doing what she wants.”

“Does it have to be one or the other? That either Luxanna genuinely cares, or else she sees utility in knowing how you’re feeling, and not both?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alright, then. Perhaps there’s something Miss Luxanna could do that would confirm for you her genuine care? Something that proves you’re more than a utility to her?”

Jinx shrugged. “Vi told me it’s a good sign if someone saves your life. That’s why Vi started trusting her Cupcake. But I think she’s wrong.”

“How’s that?”

“Because — full disclosure, Doc — Luxie’s saved my ass three whole times now! Maybe four, depending on if you count that run-in with the enforcers. But every time she did so, it’s just ‘cuz she hasn’t yet gotten what she needs outta me!”

“Meaning that you haven’t helped her escape?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s that all going, by the way?” the therapist asked. “You’ll have to forgive me, as I’m having trouble imagining what could be taking so long.”

“It’s going fine. None of your business.”

“Alright, Jinx. I understand. Has Miss Luxanna indicated where she would like your relationship with her to go after you’ve accomplished… whatever it is the two of you are planning?”

“Yeah,” Jinx admitted. “She said she wanted to keep me, but I don’t think that means anything. Wouldn’t be the first person who thought it convenient to keep me around for all my special skills.”

“Ask her.”

“No, I can’t! Doc, she’ll just lie about it like she lies about everything else.”

“Well, you can’t trust anything she says with that attitude.”

“Oh, good!” Jinx scoffed. “So, you’ve noticed my problem.”

The therapist sighed. “Miss Jinx, I’m sensing that there’s a broader issue here, and you’re using this newfound mistrust for Luxanna to mask a different feeling you’re having.”

“Do tell, Doc.”

“There is a lot in your life that has been unpredictable. And, to an extent, you relish the anarchy of it. Both because being chaotic amuses you, and because you feel like claiming the chaos gives you some ownership over the events in your life.”

“Uh-huh,” Jinx snarked. “I’ve heard this all before.”

“Jinx, please let me continue. At your heart, you’re an engineer. You study, analyze, and make plans. So, the more stable your model for the world is, the more prepared you feel to face it. Which is why the impression of impropriety upsets you so strongly, because it makes it harder for you to model the behavior of those around you. And, when you can’t make bulletproof plans for the people in your life, you choose to remove them instead.”

“Oh. Yeah. So?”

“Let me ask you something else,” the therapist said. “Do you feel like it’s fair for you to expect everyone else to be so thoroughly reliable when you yourself are difficult to pin down?”

“What do you mean?”

“Jinx, you thrive in being chaotic, but are disheartened that Miss Luxanna did something you couldn’t predict.”

“Well, yeah. Duh. Everyone around me knows what they’re signing up for in being close to me — I’m Jinx! I’m impetuous.”

“That may be the case, but it isn’t a whole lot for people to work with if all they can predict is that you’re unpredictable.”

“Ugh. Whatever.”

“Jinx, if I could introduce you to a carbon copy of yourself, do you think you would be friends with her?”

“No,” Jinx chuckled. “There’s already enough of me to go around. Two’d be too much.”

“How so?”

“Because, like, what if she pulls off the pranks and jokes I wanna do before I can? Or what if she — what if my lines sound stupid when she says them? It’s just, y’know what I mean, Doc. It’s too much.”

“So you’re aware that you’re obnoxious?”

“Well, duh.”

The therapist stopped to laugh for a while. “Good.”

“Hey, I can turn on the charm when I want to!” Jinx said. “Just don’t have a reason around you. It’s nothing personal, Doc.”

“That’s fine,” the therapist said. “I’m not trying to be your best friend. But, if you want to know whether you can trust the people in your life, you need to have an understanding about whether they trust you in return.”

Jinx rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, trust is mutual, blah, blah, blah.”

“Do you disagree?”

“Pfft. No. Just think it’s pointless ‘cuz everyone’s gonna betray you in the end. One way or another, it always happens. So why? Why bother?”

“Good question, Jinx. Why did you bother?”

“I don’t!”

“Jinx, that’s not true. You’re trusting me with your time now, and, before whatever incident transpired between you and Miss Luxanna, I take it you trusted her as well. So why did you?”

“No, that’s different. With you, I mean. I don’t trust you at all.”

The therapist sat back in her chair, confused. “You don’t?”

“No.”

“Well, given how much private information you’ve shared with me, you have a very funny way of showing it. Your crimes and final moments with your father — Most would only divulge things like these to people they trust.”

“Pfft. That’s stupid. I’ve never hidden anything I do.”

“Okay,” the therapist said. “That’s fine, but we’re getting away from the point. If you want a relationship with someone — anyone, really — you need to build trust with them.”

“Duh. You said that already.”

“You’re right. I did. But it bears repeating because I think you need to understand something about Miss Luxanna. She may have lied to you against your express wishes, but that doesn’t mean she wanted to harm you. The easier explanation seems to be that she didn’t know she could trust you. Again, you’ve only known each other for a very brief time in the grand scheme of things.”

“No,” Jinx spat. “You’re wrong! She’s known me for months.”

“From a distance?”

“I dunno. Probably, unless she was invis—” Jinx stopped herself. “Um, unless she was hiding.”

If the therapist noticed the hitch, she didn’t show it. “Jinx, that’s not what I mean. If Miss Luxanna never personally interacted with you, then how could she have possibly built a complete enough model to trust you without reservation? Especially since, as you said, your actions can appear to be random?”

“I don’t know. Ya got me feeling like a broken record, Doc, ‘cuz ya keep asking me these stupid questions and I keep hitting back with the same answer! I do not know. ”

“That’s fine, Jinx. It’s okay not to know, and it’s healthy to admit when you don’t. The important thing’s to avoid dismissing the questions just because you don’t have an answer.”

“Great. Thank you.”

“Of course. Can we go back to that thing you mentioned about your sister? I’d like to hear more about it.”

“Which thing?”

“Something about trusting those who save your life?”

“Oh,” Jinx chuckled. “Yeah, Luxie’s saved my life a few times now.”

“You mentioned something like this in our session a couple days ago. Is that something you’d be willing to talk about in greater detail today?”

“Why? It wouldn’t change the reason Luxie did it. She needs me.”

“Normally I would ask you to simply humor me, but I’ve already asked a lot from you today. If it’s too embarrassing, or you feel I would be forced to report you, then I won’t push.”

“Look, Doc, it’s not that I don’t wanna tell you. I don’t care who knows what happened! It’s just Luxie, she made me promise.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Jinx said. “It’d be easier to explain if I could explain it.”

The therapist leaned forward, interested, and tapped a pen anxiously on her desk. “Am I reading you wrong, or are you saying that Miss Luxanna trusts you with her secrets?”

“Uh… I guess so. She’s got lots of things that I’m not allowed to tell people, and she doesn’t tell anyone else.”

“Interesting.”

“Why?”

The therapist smiled. “That could either be very good or very bad. Good if she thinks you’re safe enough to trust, and bad if it means she’s trying to get close enough to manipulate you by feigning confidentiality.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Jinx sighed. “And we’re back to square one again.”

“Not necessarily. Without revealing Luxanna’s secrets, can you tell me whether they’re hurting other people?”

“Like how?”

“I’ll give an example,” the therapist said. “If I steal an apple from my neighbor’s tree, or if I chop down the tree in the dead of night, then I’m hurting my neighbor. Meanwhile, if I indulge in an addiction after telling my friends that I wouldn’t, I’m only hurting myself. Do you see the difference?”

Jinx nodded. “Luxie’s secrets aren’t hurting anyone, but they’d make her life a rotten sump if they got out.”

“Interesting.”

“Yeah.”

“So that puts you in the dangerous position of getting to choose whether to hurt her or not,” the therapist said. “If there’s no external obligation motivating you if you divulge her secrets, it would have only been done with the intent to harm. Or, barring that, an expression of negligence.”

“Is that supposed to be a good thing?”

“Absolutely! It suggests to me that Lux has grown to genuinely trust you, and quite a bit more than you realize. Ideally, this means you’re at a level with her where she doesn’t feel the need to mislead you anymore.”

“Let’s hope so.”

“Agreed. Although, as much as I approve of you making friends and building positive relationships, I hope this doesn’t mean you’re still planning to run away so soon. There’s a lot more progress we can make!”

Jinx shrugged. “I dunno. Most of the prep’s been done already, so it feels a bit late to pump the brakes, if ya know what I mean.”

“Where do you think that’s coming from?”

“What?”

“This desire to flee,” the therapist clarified. “Is that entirely its own thing, or more predicated on keeping in good graces with Miss Luxanna?”

“Shyeah. She’d be pretty upset if I bailed on her. Already told her I wouldn’t.”

“Don’t think of it as giving up, Jinx. I’m sure Miss Luxanna can wait a few more weeks. It won’t feel that long compared to the four years she’s already been here.”

“Fou — What?”

“Liar! She’s lying!”

“No,” Jinx said. “Luxie hasn’t been here that long! You’re wrong.”

The therapist sighed. “Alright, Jinx, I’m going to ask you this very carefully because I want you to think through it. Understood?”

Jinx nodded.

“Has Miss Luxanna ever explicitly told you how long she’s been interned here?”

“N-no. I don’t know.”

“Jinx, did she give you a different timeline? One that implied or directly mentioned having been here for a shorter duration?”

“No!” Jinx snapped. “But she would’ve told me if she’d been here for four fucking years! What are you people even doing here if someone can stay that long and not get fixed!?”

“I am not Miss Luxanna’s counselor, nor would it be my place to tell you how her progress is going. I can’t answer that one for you.”

“She would’ve told me,” Jinx repeated. “She would have!”

“Well, when we’re done here, you can ask her why she didn’t. Perhaps it never occurred to her, or she meant to tell you and forgot. Not all acts of miscommunication are a deception, Jinx.”

“Yeah, but, if that’s true…”

“What does it change? If Luxanna has been here longer than you assumed, how does that recontextualize your relationship with her?”

“It — I don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t, but she still should have told me.”

“Why?” the therapist asked. “Is she a mind-reader? Is she somehow expected to know that you had already jumped to a different conclusion based entirely on your own assumptions?”

“No,” Jinx grumbled. “I sound stupid when you put it that way.”

“You’re not stupid, Jinx. You’re extremely creative. There’s a part of your brain that helps you see engineering and design solutions that nobody else can, and it’s the same part that drives you to speculate wildly about the intentions of those around you.”

“Oh.”

The therapist leaned back in her chair and smiled. “Does that feel like a good place to end things for today?”

Jinx shook her head slowly, somberly. “Not really, but I dunno what else to say. I’m gonna miss ya, Doc. You’re actually getting through to me in a way that nobody else can.”

“Good! Then why don’t you stay here and continue this progress you’re making? You don’t always have to run off pursuing something new just because it’s flashy and exciting. Not when you’re still in the process of healing.”

“You’re making a lotta sense, but I already know what I gotta do. And Luxie needs me.”

“Look,” the therapist said, “If I gave you the wrong impression today, I apologize. Yes, it’s important to build relationships with other people, but it’s even more important to spend time learning about yourself. You can’t be a good partner to people if you don’t know who you are.”

“But I do!” Jinx told her. “I like blowing stuff up, and I like it even more when I’ve got someone to blow it up for! So, excuse me, but I gotta go find Luxie and fix things up with her.”

“Is that really all you ever want to be? An agent of chaos?”

“It’s what I’m best at, Doc. Same way you’re good at shrinking people’s heads, I’m great at exploding ‘em!”

“Then I can’t dissuade you? You’re set on this course?”

“Yeah.”

“Please don’t attack more people, Jinx. We all know you’ve had the capability this whole time, but the Institute believes you can be better than that.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jinx said. “Nobody’s gonna get hurt unless they try to stop us.”

“Then I suppose I’ll have to recommend the hyenas stay leashed up tonight?”

“Nah. Mine and Luxie’s exit’s gonna be bloodless. We’re not that crazy.”

“I understand. Thank you, Jinx, and I hope that wherever you end up you find someone else who can help you. Or, ideally, several other people who can help you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jinx said. “I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“Heh, okay. It’s been a good one, Doc. Maybe you’ll get a real job one day helping people who actually need it — Instead of all these stuffy Pilties.”

“You think my talents are better spent somewhere else?”

“Yeah! We can open up a clinic or something in the undercity. And you’d be safe ‘cuz I’d shoot anybody who tries to get in your way.”

“Oh. Wow.”

“Only kidding!” Jinx laughed. “Unless, um, you want me to.”

“No, that’s quite alright,” the therapist told her. “Have a good evening, Miss Jinx. And, if I don’t see you again, have a good life.”

Chapter Text

When trying to fake your own death, it’s best to have some sort of a plan. This is especially true when the ruse relies upon the pretext of a failed escape attempt from the mental health institute you’ve been detained inside!

Luxanna Crownslayer and Jinx of Zaun were both well aware of this fact, so they created an itemized agenda of their own. Just ten simple steps, each one of them moving the girls ever closer to their goal!

Step 1 — The girls raid the kitchen and steal as much vegetable oil, kerosene, and tinderboxes as they can.

Step 2 — The girls raid the maintenance closet for rags, barrels, tools, and other assorted implements.

Step 3 — Jinx builds a series of improvised explosive devices in her room while Lux gives supporting, positive affirmation and lots of back massages.

Step 4 — The girls move the IEDs to the asylum’s outer walls at the near break of dawn.

Step 5 — The girls drag out the corpses they stole from the undercity pile, and place them at the foot of the IEDs.

Step 6 — The girls dress the corpses in their own most recognizable clothing. It’s a tank top and purple pants for Jinx’s dummy, and a full set of royal armor for the impostor Demacienne.

Step 7 — The girls douse the corpses in an egregious amount of flammable liquids.

Step 8 — Jinx lays out a fuse with a minute-long runway, then lights it as soon as Lux is ready.

Step 9 — Lux uses her magic to fly up to the roof one final time, escaping the blast that would otherwise fully incinerate them.

Step 10 — The girls sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labor, watching and waiting as the anarchy unfolds.

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

In effect, most of the explosion’s blast went into its flame, but that was by design. It needed to look like Jinx had gotten the chemical proportions wrong, producing more burn than boom and accidentally incinerating herself in the process. That was the only way the trick would work!

Whether or not the bomb broke through the wall as well was secondary. But it did anyway! Jinx’s great ball of fire punched a hole in the wall large enough for both the girls to crawl through after the flames died down. Of course, with Lux’s power, it wasn’t necessary to the success of their plan, but it was a nice bonus. It would help better sell the lie, and that was all they needed.

“Gods and aspects above!” Lux gasped. “That was beautiful!”

“Heh, yeah,” Jinx laughed. “Think anyone heard it?”

“Only everyone on the entire campus!”

“Good.”

“This is it, you know,” Lux said. “At this point, either they catch us and we’ve blown our only chance, or we’ve done it! We’ve gotten away.”

“Yeah.” Jinx scooched up next to Lux and wrapped an arm around her. “Guess we gotta wait and see, but I’ll be with ya either way.”

“Aww. Dork.”

“Shut up,” Jinx giggled. “You’ve got no idea how mad I was at you yesterday.”

Lux leaned her head down on Jinx’s and sighed. “I’m ready to talk about it if you are.”

“It’s fine, Luxie. Prolly better to process it when we’re not running on fumes.”

“There was a bit of your Shimmer left if you needed to top off,” Lux said. “Would that help?”

“Right now?” Jinx said. “I doubt it. We’ve still got a long while to wait before this is over, and something like that’s only gonna put me on edge.”

“Careful now, Jinxie! You’re starting to sound like the therapists here.”

Jinx grinned and bit her lip. “No I don’t.”

“Hey it’s okay! They’re not wrong about everything.”

“Yeah,” Jinx agreed. “They get a lot of the basics right. Or, at least mine did. But she’s got her head too stuck up in normie land. Is it weird to say I’m gonna miss her?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Wait — Luxie, are you gonna miss anyone here?”

Lux cocked an eyebrow. “At the Asylum? Fuck no! But it’s whatever. They’re not going to miss me either.”

“So, four years,” Jinx said, “And ya never connected to anyone?”

“Wow,” Lux said. “Has it actually been that long? I mean, let’s see, it was back in ‘ninety-six, so — fuck — I guess so. But no, Jinx, there were others in the beginning. Others I — heh — ‘connected’ to. Problem was they kept getting better, and kept getting out of here, and that was never an option for me.”

“Because of your family?”

“Essentially.”

“Do ya still remember any of them?” Jinx asked. “What’s your family like?”

“I only remember bits and pieces. When you go for years without any pictures, no visits, and nobody to talk to about them…”

“Yeah.”

“Same for you?”

Jinx nodded. “I don’t even know what my original parents looked like. Vander didn’t have any pictures of ‘em, and nobody else they were close to had enough money to buy a camera. At least — ugh — at least my second family I got to keep the pictures we took.”

“Do you miss them?”

“I-I don’t know,” Jinx said, her voice shaking. “Mylo’s the only one who stuck around, and he was my least favorite, but that doesn’t mean I — I don’t know.”

“That’s okay,” Lux whispered softly. “If I’m honest, sometimes it bothers me that I can only remember my family as monsters. It makes me wonder how much of that misery is a mere figment of my imagination. Like, if my brother could see me now, or my aunt and mother, would they still hate what I am?”

“Probably! Why else wouldn’t they ever letcha leave this place?”

“Yeah, that’s what I keep telling myself,” Lux agreed. “But it’s weird how much our memories can change over time. Should I even trust what I remember?”

“Heh. No, but what else are ya gonna do?”

“Exactly! I don’t even know how much I don’t know at this point,” Lux said. “I’ll get communiques from the family at the start of each season, but my mother keeps it as terse as she can. ‘Hello, Daughter. Brother has just won another award for holding back the Noxians and serving this family well. Unlike you, Daughter, who continue to be a complete failure in every regard! That is all. Until next time, your stuck-up mooseknuckle of a mother!’ ”

“She sounds nice,” Jinx teased. “She’d prolly get along well with all the Pilties over here.”

“Probably. Oh, speaking of whom, do you think I’ll get to see your patrons today?”

“What? No. Why?”

“Because,” Lux explained, “After Pembroke identifies our fake dead bodies, they’ll want to send word to our patrons. And because yours happen to be within an hour or so’s travel range, wouldn’t they come here to confirm the bodies?”

Jinx winced. “Shit I didn’t even think of that!”

“It’s fine,” Lux told her. “We won’t have to interact if you don’t want to. I just think it’d be fun to put some faces to these names I keep hearing about.”

“Maybe. But I gotta tell ya, Luxie, Caitlyn’s not much to look at. I dunno what my sister sees in her.”

Lux chuckled, shaking her head. “Wasn’t what I was worried about, but I’ll keep that in mind. Has your sister’s taste always been bad?”

“I dunno. Everyone in the Lanes was too scared to get close to Vi. Everyone her age, at least.”

“Until some uggo cop shows up?”

“No,” Jinx laughed. “Caitlyn’s not ugly. She’s just, I dunno, not my type. I swear Vi must’ve fallen in love with the very first person who was nice to her!”

Lux chuckled to herself, quite amused with something Jinx didn’t understand.

“What?”

Lux bit her lip. “Nothing.”

“What!?”

“Just, you know,” Lux teased, “You and your sister might be more alike than you think!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” Jinx laughed. “For the record, both Caitlyn and Doctor Q were nice to me before you were.”

“Your counselor? Jinx, no, that doesn’t count. She’s paid to be nice to you! It probably takes all her efforts combined to avoid chewing you out the whole time — What with you being the loose cannon of Piltover and all.”

“Still. I didn’t fall in love with her, so that’s gotta count for something.”

“True enough, I suppose.”

“By the way,” Jinx said, “I don’t even know where that name came from! Loose cannon? I’m gonna punch somebody if I ever find out.”

“What? You don’t like the title?”

“I mean, I don’t hate it, but it feels redundant. Right? Because a loose cannon is necessarily jinxed?”

“Oh. Touchée.”

“They’re gonna have to give me a new name once I come back from the dead.”

“Like what?” Lux asked. “Because, if you need a rumor to start trending, I’m your girl!”

“Heh. Thanks. I’ll letcha know.”

“Wait!” Lux said, pressing a finger to her mouth and shushing.

There was a flurry of chattering people down on the ground below, some six or seven strong at least. Orderlies, facility managers and so on Jinx assumed, although her position on the roof roof didn’t give her the right vantage yet to spot them. The people below were cursing, grumbling, and exercising every form of confused panic.

“Oh, finally!” Jinx said a little too loud. Then she lowered her voice. “Was starting to think nobody’d heard.”

Lux reached up and squeezed Jinx’s hand. “Shh! I wanna listen.”

The crowd of restless staffers scurried over to the site of the explosion, making sure to keep a safe distance from the flames. Their bickering and squawking was hard to pick out from so high up on the roof, but the gist was getting through.

There was complaining and fear that people might have gotten hurt. Then there was an argument about who was at fault, but most of those present quickly jumped to the proper conclusion.

The word kept going around. “Jinx!”

“This is what we get for being nice to terrorists!” another one said. “Now look at this fucking mess!”

Jinx bit her lip hard, desperately resisting the urge to cackle. Everything was working perfectly, and nobody down below knew they were playing right into her hands!

“Shit, there’s a body here!” someone said. The other staffers clamored around her, scrambling to see what she saw. “Fuck, it’s — Oh my gods, I’m going to vomit!”

“Two of them.”

“Gods help us all. Which girls are they? Mak, can you tell?”

“No… I’m trying, but… shit. Can’t get close enough.”

“Fuck that! Do we even gotta check? I’d bet half my salary it’s Jinx and the foreign girl. Those two clowns have been orbiting each other for a couple weeks now.”

“She has a name, Kea.”

“Had a name, maybe. Isn’t much left of her but scorched tin and char now. Isn’t even gonna be shit to ship back to her folks.”

“Guys, we needa put this fuckin’ fire out! Girlies is dead, and drenchin’ ‘em in salve ain’t gonna change that.”

“I agree with Tiffany. I’ll run and grab the extinguishers.”

“Someone else should call the fire brigade too!”

“And do what, Mak? Wait a whole clockturn for them to get here?”

“Kea! I’m just trying to help.”

“Mak, you get the extinguishers. Tiffany and I can wait with Grins here. Kea, you and Hoser should run to get the headmistress. Whatever happens next, it needs to be Pembroke’s decision.”

“Nah, fuck that, Sybil! How’m I supposed to explain any of this to her?”

“Would you rather explain why we didn’t promptly alert her?”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“So, we all heard the blast, right? That’s the story, and nobody knows anything else?”

“What I wanna know’s where the fuck they got all these explosives. And how’d they get out! Who had key duty last night?”

“Sybil, it was you, right?”

“Blaming me!? I triple check every door every night!”

“Somebody did a major fuckery here.”

“It’s nobody’s fault, Tiff. Remember how Blythe was telling us the Crownguard girl’s got spare keys? Been that way longer than I can remember. Probably longer than I’ve worked here!”

“And nobody thought to keep an extra eye on here?”

“Why would we, Kea? Girl kept figuring out how to pilfer the damned things, but wasn’t making any trouble. As long as her family keeps patronizing her stay, everything’s good in my book.”

“Wasn’t making any trouble — My ass! Letting her pair up with that psychopath was mistake number one. You put two people that powerful together…”

“Kea! Stop it.”

“What?”

“Jinx is… We don’t use the P-word here.”

“Well maybe we should. Not for all the regular patients we’ve got, but for someone like THAT!? Grins, she’s got hundreds of people’s blood on her hands!”

“We’re not here to judge our patients.”

“And you’ve got a fuckin’ soft spot ‘cuz you had her in sessions.”

“Enough! Both of you. What’re we telling the mistress?”

“Only what we know, Hoser. There’s a hole in the wall. Jinx and Crownguard are dead. The explosion was contained to a relatively small area.”

“Wait, ladies, do you think it was just the two of them?”

“What?”

“No, Syb, I’m serious! If Jinx and Lux roped anyone else into this braindead escape plan, those others might have gone on without them!”

“And crawled through all these flames!?”

“If they’re — yeah, if they’re motivated enough. Wouldn’t you?”

“Shit, we’ve gotta double check all the rooms and count all the heads. Probably should start with keeping all the damned dorms locked up for the day — Nobody’s getting external privileges!”

“Gonna be an awful itch of whining about that.”

“Yeah, well, they can cope with it. It’ll only be ‘til we sort this fucking mess out and find something to block up the hole.”

“Okay, someone really needs to run and tell the headmistress.”

“Fine, fine. We’re going. Hoser?”

“Aye, I’m coming.”

With that decided, some of the group headed off to the north where the front offices lay. They were out of earshot a minute later, and the rest of the group continued their gossip.

“Damn it, though. Never had anything like this before.”

“What did they even try? That smells like — Is that vegetable oil?”

“Could be.”

“Poor stupid, desperate girls. They basically cooked themselves in a kitchen fire! How badly did they want to — I mean, couldn’t they find another way?”

“Guess it’s the irony of the girl. Final person she jinxed was herself.”

“Tiff!”

“My pardons, Grins. Not trying to slander your patient or nothing. Meant it in a more poetic way.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s only — Wait, this word doesn’t leave the three of us.”

“What?”

“Jinx has been talking about trying something for a few days now. Leaving, I mean. I didn’t know when, nor what exactly, but she’d mentioned it a few times.”

“Shit, Grins. The mistress’d expel you for that!”

“Think I don’t know that!? Fuck. Obviously, I tried talking her out of it, obviously, and I actually got pretty close, but Jinx is — ugh — I needed more time.”

“We always do.”

“Hey, Grins, did Jinx mention anything about the Crownguard kid?”

“Yeah. A lot, honestly, but most of it I thought was safely confidential. They didn’t — shit — I didn’t register the girls as a danger to theirselves. Because I figured, well, for all her faults, Jinx definitely knows what she’s doing.”

“Apparently not this time. Her little candle burned twice as bright.”

“Burned themselves to death? What fucking horrible way to go.”

“I know. Can you imagine it?”

“At least she’s at peace now. Not burdened by the voices in her head, nor all of the horrible damages she’s caused and people she’s lost.”

“Ladies, I can’t look at this anymore. The image of them just… right there… Gonna scar my mind’s eye forever.”

“It’s okay, Syb. Mak should be back with an extinguisher any mo — Oh! Speak of the Darkin, here she comes.”

“Thank fuck something’s going right.”

The sound of heat-resistant foam being sprayed from a canister subsumed the area for the next few minutes. It gurgled out and swallowed up the flames — All the fire which had spread in a much larger area than Jinx originally intended, but that had been the risk she was willing to take to make sure the corpses were thoroughly burned.

She leaned over to Lux and stroked her hand. “Ya doing okay?”

Lux smiled warmly and shook her head. “Just tired. After everything we’ve done, and now that we’re sitting here, waiting around, I think the fatigue’s catching up to me.”

“Wanna take a nap and I’ll wake ya if anything funny happens?”

“I’ll manage,” Lux told her, “But I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to a good, deep shoulder massage!”

“Me neither,” Jinx chuckled. “When we get outta here, wanna help me build a robot chair that rubs your back for you? I bet I could figure it out!”

Lux nodded slowly, trying to silence the gaping yawn that was getting away from her. “And until then?”

“Oh, right!” Jinx scurried around and found a seat behind her partner’s back, then dug her fingers into the creases of Lux’s shoulder blades. “That feel okay?”

“Excellent,” Lux hummed. “Very excellent.”

Down on the scorched earth below, the management of the Pembroke Institute (for girls who are deeply fucked in the head) was having a much less excellent morning. As the pair of orderlies returned with their headmistress, the pitch of everyone’s squealing voices went up again by several notches.

“Oh! Oh my gods. What happened!?”

“It’s two of the girls, Mistress. Woke all of us up when this — um — explosion?”

“It was an escape attempt, Mistress! Jinx and Lady Crownguard.”

“And!?”

“They’re — they’re dead, Mistress. Their bodies are both here like shriveled logs.”

“Shit fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck. Okay, shit. Ladies, this is what we’re going to do. I need the promenade closed down immediately! Everyone’s indoors today, no exceptions. Got it? Good! Fuck. I need to put the word out to their patrons as soon as possible. We need the bodies ID’d for — shit — um, for legal. Fuck. Okay.”

“Ma’am, I can send a tube to Miss Jinx’s patrons.”

“No, I — uh — Thank you, Doctor, but that won’t be necessary. This is going to require a much more delicate hand. Because — Wait, how sure are we that the Demacian was involved?”

“Mistress, the Crownguard’s armor was among the smoldering remains we found.”

“Okay. Thank you, Mak. Then this shit just became an international incident. Gods, as if this city needs any more of those right now! Fuck. When I’ve had a moment, I’m going to leave and personally visit the Kiramman estate — Jinx’s patrons — and inform them of this morning’s unfortunate events. It was this morning, yes?”

“Had to be, Ma’am. Half a dozen of us heard the explosion half an hour ago.”

“Understood. Thank you, Doctor. Now, I appreciate that this is all very exciting to everyone here, for better or worse, but we need to keep a lid on it until further notice! If this gets out, if word reaches Demacia before we’ve had time to sanitize it, then the gods only know what manner of war those nimrods will threaten. So, please, please! Let me confer with the Kiramman estate before talking to anyone else. If they don’t know what to do, then — fuck — all bets are off.”

“But, Headmistress, what about in the meantime?”

“Meantime, Kea, all of this is on lockdown. Everything! All visitations are canceled indefinitely. Shit. Um. Sybil, can you look into building contractors for me? I want this fucking hole patched up before tomorrow evening, and we’ll pay triple the going rate. That goes for everyone else, too! On campus only, if you can, but speak to me if there’s an emergency. Otherwise, I’ll triple your hourly rate to keep you here. Do we understand?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Yes!”

“Of course, Mistress. Thank you.”

“No, don’t thank me yet. This is — ugh — you’re getting triple not as a reward, not as a bribe. We’re all in shock now, but this is going to be a couple of the most difficult days of your life, and the next few weeks to follow as well. Paying above asking’s the least I can do. Fuck. Okay, I need to get ready to make my visit to the Kiramman estate. Any questions before I go?”

“Ma’am, we don’t know if anyone else was with them. Anyone who, you know, didn’t die. Should we send out a search party?”

“No, Kea, but thank you. We’ll do a headcount after lockdown. Actually, can you and Tiffany organize that? Anyone not accounted for, we’ll assume to be off the property and away against medical leave. Given the nature of things, we’ll have to inform their patrons, but not right away. Not until the rest of this fucking mess is cleaned up.”

“Headmistress, what are we doing with the bodies?”

“Leave them where they are for now. The Kirammans can decide what to do with Jinx’s body when they get here. For the Crownguard, that one is still to be determined! Please, don’t even touch her until we get word from what’s left of the Council.”

“Does Demacia not have an embassy with us?”

“Not since Hextech. Not that I — um — Anyway, I need to get ready to go. Are there any more questions?”

“No, Ma’am.”

“No.”

“No.”

“Very well, then. Mak, if I didn’t already give you an assignment, would you mind staying with the bodies? I’d prefer not to have them left alone.”

“Of course, Headmistress. Grins and I can keep watch.”

“If that’s alright with you, Doctor. I know she was your patient.”

“Ma’am, I’ll be fine. Might need a long break after this all over, but I can weather it today.”

“Good. Then I’ll see most of you again after I get back. And thank you again ladies. I promise you all, we’ll get through this.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

“Is it safe to talk again?” Jinx whispered, digging her head in against Lux’s neck. “‘Cuz this whole ‘keep quiet’ thing’s been torture!”

“Shh! We’re still in the boring part, remember?”

“I know, I know,” Jinx groused. “Wish they hadn’t posted guards, though. How’re we supposed to climb down with a couple of those bozos watching?”

“No!” Lux snatched up Jinx’s hand and gripped it tight. “No climbing.”

“What?” Jinx laughed. “I’ve got Shimmer now. I’m good!”

“Don’t even joke about it. Shh…”

“It’s going well, though, right?” Jinx said. “I mean everything down there. Their reactions, they’re acting the way we wanted them to?”

Lux nodded slowly. “Seems to be. I won’t count our chickens before they’ve hatched, but so far everything’s going as expected.”

“Yay!”

“Quiet!” Lux giggled. “You’ll give us away.”

“It’d be funny, though. What if we just went down there like, ‘Surprise! We’re still alive. You all got sad and scared for nothing!’ ”

“You’re a monster.”

“Aww,” Jinx hummed. “You love it.”

“Jinx, some of those people down there are going through extreme emotional turmoil right now.”

“Yeah. I know. I’m just — I don’t think I’m ready to hear what my sister says. So I gotta pretend all this is funny, y’know? Or I’m gonna have a meltdown.”

Lux grabbed her hand. “Then how about we leave before your sister gets here. We’ll go to the other side of the building and try to find a way down from there. A place where they won’t spot us, I mean.”

“It’s okay,” Jinx said. “We gotta finish the mission, Luxie. Gotta do it right.”

“You’re sure?”

“Mhm.”

“Excellent!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Jinx teased. “I know it’s your dream to have me trapped up here so you can have me all to yourself.”

Lux grinned wide, squeezing Jinx tight as she did so. “You know me too well.”

Jinx reached around and planted a kiss on her partner’s lips. “Gotcha!”

If Lux was embarrassed, she didn’t show it. The Demacienne wove her fingers into the tresses of Jinx’s hair and pulled her in, returning the kiss with as much sweetness as she could muster.

Jinx didn’t hesitate to indulge. The taste was mostly that of stale breath and salty sweat, but the height of the moment made it feel like a queen’s banquet. Everything she could possibly want was right there and well within reach.

Lux moved her fingers down and under Jinx’s shirt, groping around for anything she could find. Touching everything, leaving no button unpushed, claiming every unmarked inch of skin for her own.

“You’re mine!” she whispered greedily.

Jinx chuckled and pulled on her partner’s lips. “Yeah, no shit.”

“Wait, Jinx, hold on.”

“I am!”

“No, wait,” Lux said. “Listen! Someone’s coming.”

“Fuck. Who?”

Lux didn’t answer. She pulled away from Jinx and held a hand up to her ear, brushing aside the sweaty golden locks so she could tune into the goings on down below.

“It’s right over here,” the headmistress said. “But please, Lady Kiramman, be warned — It’s quite graphic to look at.”

“Thank you, Ma’am.”

Jinx bolted up, grabbing Lux’s hand and hissing, “That’s her! Caitlyn!”

Lux leaned over, trying to get a better view, but the edge of the roof was impeding her. “You’re sure? Because, if you wanted to go, we can still try to sneak out the back side.”

“No, I wanna hear this!”

“Jinx…”

“Shh! Luxie, I’m fine.”

But then Violet’s voice added to the fray, with her otherwise soft tone croaking distress. “That’s — No! No, no no no. What happened here!?”

“An escape attempt, we think,” the headmistress answered. “Although, admittedly, none of my employees were around to see it.”

“May I take a closer look?” Caitlyn asked.

“Please! As much as you need.”

“Thank you.”

A heavy, sinking feeling swelled up in Jinx’s gut. And suddenly her vision was distorted, swimming and scratchy.

“I could’ve done something,” Vi cried. “I knew she was going to, and I could’ve — It didn’t have to end like this!”

“Oh… Fucking shit!” Caitlyn cursed. “It’s definitely — Well, yeah, it’s her. Vi, I’m so sorry. You didn’t — um — Vi, if she’d made up her mind already, there was nothing you could have done to change it.”

Vi took a while to answer as she choked back low sobs. “I know, Cait, but what if there was? What if I’d—”

“Vi, you can’t think about that right now. You can’t, okay? Not everything that happens to your sister is your fault. She’s grown up now, and makes her own decisions.”

“I… Yeah…”

“Miss Pembroke, can you tell us this partner of hers?”

“Certainly,” the headmistress answered. “Been here since ninety-six, which is a lot longer than we normally intern anyone. I’m glad you asked though, because her family, the Crownguards, have you heard of them?”

“In passing,” Caitlyn replied. “Enough to be aware of their role in Demacian royalty. This was their daughter?”

“She was, yes. Given as much, you can see clearly how precarious the situation is.”

“I can. And I hate to do this, because it’s plain as day that the explosion was Jinx’s fault, but it might be the better political play to pin it on the Crownguard girl.”

“Don’t.” Vi said softly. “Jinx did this.”

“Yes, obviously,” Caitlyn snapped back, “But the last thing we need is Demacia thinking we targeted them. Worse, it’s a terrible look if your sister is still on the loose after what happened with the high council.”

“That’s what you care about right now!? Politics!?”

“Violet, I’m sorry, but you know that this has to be my top concern. Call me a broken record if you like, but this city needs healing. It does, Vi, and it won’t get that if we go to war.”

“I hate this. Everything you topsiders do is so fucking bullshit!”

“I know, Vi. I’m sorry.”

“Then fuck this!” Vi snapped. “Fuck the Crowngardens, or whatever the fuck their name is. What kind of bullshit family locks their kid away in a clinic all the way on the other side of the world?”

“I’m wondering that myself, actually,” Caitlyn said. She turned to the headmistress. “Miss Pembroke, may we inquire as to why a royal-adjacent family would have stowed one of their descendants in an asylum eight hundred leagues away?”

“You may, although it paints a poor pallor on my own judgment. It’s a necessary evil, or at least that’s how I reasoned it to myself. Crownguard money has kept the institute afloat when other patrons have been — hmm — less reliable.”

“At what price?”

“She was a magic user, the Crownguard girl. They get them born like that a lot in Demacia. And, well, if you’ve heard any rumors about the mage rebellions that land has endured over the past few years, I’m sure your imagination can connect the rest of the dots.”

“They hid her away to protect her?”

“Not quite,” the headmistress admitted. “More to protect themselves, actually.”

“That’s fucked up!”

“Miss Pembroke,” Caitlyn said, “What element of magical power did the Crownguard girl have?”

“Oh, I never found out! I tried asking her family, but either they were also unaware, or they simply refused to tell me. I had my suspicions for much of the time that Lux was interned here, but it never painted a complete picture. As long as she didn’t present a danger to herself or others, I tried not to judge.”

“What suspicions?”

“Well, a light mage to start. There were too many unexplained optical illusions and flashes to be counted as mere circumstance. However, beyond that, I couldn’t rightly tell you. Lady Lux was a very, very clever girl, both mechanically and socially. Meaning it’s hard to say which of her skills were mundane and which had the aid of the elements.”

“I bet Powder loved that,” Vi muttered. “A whole brand new thing to figure out.”

“Powder?”

“Her real name,” Vi answered. “Jinx.”

“Oh, that’s — I see. Well, you’d have to ask their therapists. I don’t personally have any of the details on Lady Crownguard and Jinx’s relationship. Not beyond what limited observations one could make from a distance.”

“Your doctors don’t report to you?”

“Miss Violet, we have a code of conduct here. There’s a confidentiality clause our counselors have with their clients, and it’s essential.”

“It’s alright, Vi,” Caitlyn said. “But, Miss Pembroke, could we get the information for that therapist? Lady Luxanna’s as well, if you may. I’d like to speak with them both at a later time.”

“Normally I’d say no,” the headmistress told her. “At least for Lady Lux, given that client confidentiality defaults to her legal representative. But, in this particular case, I’m wondering whether what’s left of the Piltovan council should count as her legal representation. So, yes, I can get you that information.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Lady Kiramman. Anything I can do to help, just name. Oh! But I’m forgetting — Jinx’s therapist was among those who found their bodies this morning. Many of the staff members are housed on campus, you see. She should still be here, and I can have someone track her down if you’d like.”

“That won’t be necessary today,” Caitlyn said. “We can unpack the rest of the question ‘why’ tomorrow, or perhaps later this week.”

The headmistress grumbled in assent. “Then how soon do you think you can make a decision about informing the Demacians? They may have their own opinions regarding what to do with the body, and I’d not like to leave her rotting while we wait weeks to hear back.”

“I’ve already made up my mind,” Caitlyn answered. “Lady Crownguard died in a building fire — one whose origins derived from magic by all appearances. That’s the story we’ll tell the family, and that should buy us some time.”

“Cait…”

“I know, Vi. It’s terrible, but it’s going to work. They won’t want anyone looking too closely if we suspect magic was at play. So we’ll ship Luxanna’s remains back in a gilded box, along with a tributary, and hope it’s enough to appease those old-fashioned ingrates.”

“But Cait, my sister…”

“I know,” Caitlyn repeated. “I do, Vi, but all of this is horrible, and all of our options are even worse. I think it’s best if — if it’s alright with you — if we cremate Jinx’s remains. That would be both the bodies dealt with.”

“Dealt with!?” Vi cried.

“Wait! No, Vi, I didn’t mean it like that. Wait.”

“I’m going back to the carriage!” Vi spat. “Then you and Miss Pembroke can keep deciding what’s best everyone!”

“Wait, please!” Caitlyn begged. “You’re part of this decision, Vi. You are!”

“Yeah, and how’s that gonna go for me, huh? Deciding what the fuck to do with my DEAD SISTER!?”

“Vi, it’s okay…”

“No, Cait! It’s not fucking okay. None of this is okay, and… and, I can’t! Caitlyn, I…”

Caitlyn turned to the headmistress, her voice grim. “Miss Pembroke, Violet and I need to go. I’ll send someone back to fetch the body, and we can make a decision then. I hope you understand.”

“Of course! If you don’t need anything else from me right now, then I bid you a safe drive back down the hill.”

“Thank you,” Caitlyn told her. “Come on, Vi. We’re leaving.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

Jinx was racing across the rooftop.

“Wait!” Lux hissed. “Let’s think this through. Please, Jinx, we’re so close!”

“No, Luxie, I can’t!”

“Why not? Please, Jinx, just wait and talk to me!”

Jinx didn’t stop. She was already at the far side of the roof and looking for a way to climb down. “All those years ago, when I thought my sister left me — I never wanted her to feel that way! Not even if…”

“Not even if it means abandoning me?”

“No, it’s—” Jinx hesitated, trying to slow down enough to wordsmith her way out. “I didn’t say that!”

“Then, please, Jinx! Don’t leave me! Don’t get me this fucking close and give up on me right at the fucking end!”

Jinx extended a hand as she stepped down onto a windowsill. “I’m not! Come with me, Luxie. We can — I dunno — We’ll talk to them! Figure it out, right?”

“No!”

“Why not?”

Lux shook her head. “Because I don’t think it’s a realistic option. Do you?”

“I think we can try.”

“How?” Lux scoffed. “Should we just pop out in front of their carriage and wave hello, playing nice and acting like we didn’t spend the last who-knows-how-long planning a way to traumatize them!?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you fucking serious right now!?”

“Luxie, you heard ‘em! They’re gonna send that fake body back to your stupid family, so you’re still getting what’cha wanted, right? You’re still getting off the hook!”

“Not if I get caught. Not if we’re stupid enough to reveal ourselves.”

Jinx nodded, understanding. “You’re right, Luxie, but I don’t wanna be like that. I don’t wanna be free from my family.”

“But they’ll never support who you are!” Lux said, her voice cracking. “You’ll never get to be who this city needs you to be if you’re under their purview.”

“We don’t know if we don’t try.”

“Yes we do!”

“No, Luxie, they’re not like your family! Vi, Cait — they didn’t put me here to hide me like yours did. They could’ve put me somewhere so much worse, but they didn’t. And they’ve been way more patient than I ever deserved, so I gotta do my own part of this to fix things.”

Lux chewed on her lip as she chewed on the information. “Are you sure, Jinx? Absolutely, completely sure?”

“No. But I gotta try, and I’d feel better if you were with me. Together, you and me, right? We can have it all! We’ll find a way.”

Lux didn’t answer. She stared past Jinx, off into the distance without focusing on anything in particular.

“Luxie? Please, they’re gonna be gone any minute now. I want you to come with me!”

“You promise? You promise you’re not going to leave me to fend for myself after this inevitably fucks us both in the ass? Because it absolutely will, Jinx, and I’ll have nothing left to lose after that!”

“You’re not losing me,” Jinx told her. “Whatever happens next, I’m sticking with ya.”

“Fuck. Now I know you’re crazy.”

“I know, right?” Jinx laughed. “So come be crazy with me!”

“Okay.” Lux knelt down and took Jinx’s hand. “I’m coming. Let’s go find that carriage and pray they’re still here.”

Chapter Text

“Are we too late?” Lux asked. “I don’t see them anywhere!”

Jinx scoffed, shaking her head. “No! No, we can’t be.”

But then Lux noticed something. She pointed to a luxurious auto-carriage on the far side of the parkway with a full covering of blue curtains and golden trim. It had an emblem fashioned on its side in the shape of a letter K with a pair of keys intertwined.

“Could that be theirs?”

Jinx swooped in and wrapped her arms around Lux’s neck, pulling the Demacienne tight enough to kiss her. “You’re the best, Luxie! Let’s go say hi.”

But the carriage was empty. As Jinx and Lux looked around the automobile, neither Violet nor Caitlyn, nor any sort of driver were inside.

“Wait, we beat them?”

“Seems that way,” Lux said. “Maybe — ah — could they have gotten held up inside? Paperwork or something.”

“Ugh. Boring.”

“No, that’s good, actually. If they’re inside, busy making our deaths official, then that gives us time to anticipate their approach. I don’t like the idea of simply standing here.”

“Way ahead of ya, Luxie!”

Within a moment, Jinx was at the carriage’s back door and finagling with its clasp. There was a simple locking mechanism keeping the latch shut, but it proved trivial to disengage after Jinx got a good look at it.

“Oh! Breaking and entering?” Lux noted. “That’s probably better than my idea.”

“Didn’t ya want a place to hide?” Jinx asked. She slid into the back seat of the carriage and tapped at the cushion next to her. “C’mere! Plenty of room.”

“Excellent.”

Lux climbed into the carriage next to Jinx and cuddled up at her side. Then, with a complex motion of her hands, Lux began turning the air on its side, twisting the world into whirling knots of unreality.

“Is that your whatchamacallit?” Jinx said. “Your invisibility thingy?”

“It’s not making any light go away, just bending it,” Lux replied. “I don’t want to take the chance that your sister and her friend see us and run away, or run off and do something stupid. Scared people always run. So we’ll wait until they’re in the carriage, when their options are more limited, and then drop the veil.”

“Oh.”

“Am I wrong?”

“No.” Jinx shook her head, and leaned in to watch Lux finish her spell. “You’re just really smart is all. I love it.”

“Hm. I think I believe you.”

“Good! ‘Cuz I’m not lying.”

“No, I know,” Lux told her. “But I’ve spent so long having to be afraid of what I am. I started doubting anyone would ever appreciate this part of me.”

“Well, I do, Luxie. Really.”

A thin, ethereal film wrapped around the two of them. Lux’s magic was complete, and the girls dissolved inside the cocoon of undiscoverability, entirely lost to the world and lost in each other’s eyes.

“I’m glad it was you,” Lux said. “And I know you know I’ve had my eye on you for a while, but I wanted to tell you how grateful I am. You chose me back, and it means the world to me.”

Jinx smiled contentedly and nodded. “Here’s to the new us, am I right?”

“Hear, hear.”

“Normally you’re supposed to say ‘til death do we part, but you and I already kinda went and did the dying thing!”

“Yeah, and Jinx, can make a new agreement? No more dying allowed ever again.”

“Forever? Oh, I dunno, Luxie. I don’t think we’ve got the technology for that!”

“Not yet,” Lux teased, “But I’m made of magic, and you’re a marvel of engineering! Between the two of us, we have to be able to figure something out! Some strange new form of Shimmer, or installing our heads on automatons, or—”

“Okay! Ha ha, fine. Together forever, alright? But really, Luxie, I do promise to try. I don’t know how long I’m gonna be happy enough with my life, but having you here makes it worth the effort, so that’s gotta count for something.”

Lux turned down and kissed Jinx on the nose. “I appreciate it. That’s all I ask.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

It was almost fifteen minutes later when the sound of people arriving interrupted Jinx and Lux’s liaison.

“Thank you again, Miss Pembroke,” Caitlyn was saying. “You’ll be sure to hear from my estate soon.”

“Of course, Lady Kiramman. And, once again, please accept my condolences. I know this month has been hard enough on you and yours.”

“Not just me and mine. Many others in the city, and now you as well.”

“Yes, well, thank you,” the headmistress said shortly. “This certainly wasn’t anything like how I expected my day to go.”

“No,” Caitlyn admitted, “But we’ll persevere.”

“Good. Now, you and your lady go ahead and get home safely. Driving down the hill can be a bit of a bumpy one, and the last thing we need today is another accident.”

The Pembroke Institute’s headmistress disappeared back to her office a minute later, leaving the Kiramman women out on their own in the driveway.

“Passenger-side door should be unlocked,” Caitlyn said. “Unless you…”

Vi didn’t answer. She sauntered across to the far side of the carriage ripped open the door. Its hinge made an unnatural whine, followed by a pop! that probably wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Well, fuck,” Vi spat. “Fuck my life.”

Caitlyn reached across the center of the carriage. “Do you need a moment?”

Again, Vi didn’t answer. She just brooded, staring angrily out the front window and crossing her arms. Her lip was quivering, but nothing came out.

“Should I go ahead and start the engine, then?”

Vi shrugged indifferently, her cheeks scrunching up to try and hold back the tears. “It doesn’t matter, Cait. None of it’s gonna bring her back.”

“I know, Darling, but I thought it might help to grieve somewhere that’s more — well, you know — more comfortable than this box. Gods, it smells like something died in here.”

“What the fuck, Cait!?”

“Shit, sorry!” Caitlyn winced. “Terrible choice of words.”

“Yeah, you don’t say!”

“Vi, I’m… I’m not very good at this. Please don’t take your anger out on me for fumbling my words. I’m just as tired and overwrought as you are.”

“Cait,” Vi’s voice croaked. “I’d just gotten her back! After eight years apart, and…”

“I know, Vi. I’m sorry.”

Finding an opening was impossible. Lux kept glancing back at Jinx, each time failing to communicate anything more than a nod or a shake of the head. When was the right time to break the seal? To finish the trick and reveal themselves?

Jinx shrugged, mouthing ‘I don’t know’ and pointing to Lux for her to decide. ‘This was your idea!’

Lux furrowed her brow, not understanding what Jinx was trying to say. She gestured downward repeatedly. ‘Now?’

‘Yes!’ Jinx nodded and gave a big thumbs up.

“AHEM!” Lux curled her fingers together and pulled back the curtain of light. “Sorry, but am I interrupting?”

Both women up front whipped their heads around and gasped.

Caitlyn first, she said, “What are you doing in my cart?” But then the realization dawned on her. “You’re — you’re — How!? How in the fuck are you two alive!?”

“Powder?” Vi asked meekly. “How? We saw — No, then what were those bodies we saw? How are you not DEAD!?”

Lux leaned forward. “Well, we are, right? Legally, at least?”

Vi shot a quick look at the Demacienne, then turned back to her sister. “What the fuck did you do!? Whose bodies were those?”

Jinx shrugged, unwilling to answer the question. “We figured we’d come say ‘hi’ before heading off on our next big adventure. Didn’t wanna leave you thinking it was your fault or anything.”

“My fault for — What? No!” Vi said. “Powder, I saw your body! How the fuck did we see your body!?”

“I’d like to know that as well,” Caitlyn added. “That was a fucking rotten trick to play! Do you have any idea how much pain you just put your sister through!?”

“Don’t blame her,” Lux said. “It’s my fault.”

Caitlyn shot a dirty look at the Demacienne. “Oh, I bloody will! Every bit of this reeks of Jinx, and I won’t have her shirking away responsibility this time! Not after everything she’s done!”

Jinx looked over at Lux, begging for permission to share their secrets. Lux nodded.

“It’s not that bad, alright? Luxie and I just stole a couple of cadavers from the sump pile. They’re not — We didn’t kill anybody, if that’s what you’re worried about. Well, nobody who didn’t attack us first.”

Caitlyn pounded the dashboard. “How long have you two been playing this game!? Flaunting the rules while everyone bends over backwards to accommodate you! It’s not enough that you terrorize a city you think has neglected you, murdering those in power with reckless abandon, but then you go and punish the only people who still believed in you! When does it stop!?”

“Miss Kiramman, listen to her!” Lux said. “We could have gotten out at any time. We did get out.”

“And what!?” Caitlyn snapped. “Decided it hadn’t been traumatic enough, so you drag a couple of corpses back and bury them in a lake of kerosine!?”

Lux rolled her eyes. “Miss Kiramman, if you and Vi had been the intended audience of our message, do you really think Jinx and I would have come this quickly and announced ourselves?”

“Um,” Caitlyn hesitated. “No. I don’t know what to think. All Jinx ever does is fuck with my head, even before I met her! And I’m sick of it!”

“Powder?” Vi said softly. “What happened?”

Jinx looked at Lux again for confirmation, praying it was the right moment to fully open up. “It’s like Luxie said. We were trying to make her family leave her alone. They’re not cool like you guys are.”

Caitlyn squinted, confused. “Yeah, right. I’m supposed to believe you think I’m cool?”

“I mean, kinda?” Jinx shrugged. “Given the circumstances, you oughta hate me. I know I would.”

The four of them were quiet for a moment, everyone averting their eyes when they weren’t stealing nervous glances.

It was Lux who finally broke the silence. “Miss Kiramman, after discovering that I was afflicted with magic, my family has been so deeply ashamed of me that they long wished me dead or worse — mutilated beyond recognition. The only reason I’m still alive is that they’re too craven to do the act themselves.”

“So I killed her,” Jinx added. “At least as far as Pembroke’s concerned.”

Caitlyn nodded slowly, beginning to understand. “But Jinx, that doesn’t explain why you yourself had to die! After all the death your sister and I have been through — most of which was your fault! — why would you put us through another?”

“Because Pembroke wouldn’t have believed it any other way,” Lux explained. “They knew Jinx and I were close.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time she’s killed someone she loves!” Caitlyn spat.

Vi slapped her. “Caitlyn!”

“Sorry, but Jinx has—” Caitlyn slowed down to stop herself, then quickly recomposed. “No, you’re right. That was out of line.”

“We’ve all lost a lot of people,” Vi said. “Can we be done?”

Caitlyn scanned the back of the carriage, repeatedly darting between Jinx and Lux. “This had better not be part of the trick, because I swear on my dead mother’s grave, if you two are fucking with me…”

“We can leave,” Lux volunteered. “Jinx only wanted to stop by and clear the air. We saw you two mourning the corpse and, well, it got to her. But, if we’re not wanted, we’ll  go ahead and leave.”

“Is that true?” Caitlyn asked, her eyes locked on Jinx.

“Yeah. More or less.”

“Fuck.” Caitlyn straightened up in her seat and turned over the carriage’s engine, sending a roaring vibration through the entire chassis. “You two are coming with me.”

Lux and Vi both asked “We are?” and “They are?”

“Wait!” Jinx added. “Where?”

“Yes, yes, and that remains to be seen,” Caitlyn answered them all. 

As the carriage started to roll away, Lux bolted for her door. “Jinx, it’s time to bail! Hurry, before the engine gets going too fast!”

But Jinx stayed in place. “Where are you taking us?” she repeated.

“That depends on you, doesn’t it?” Caitlyn said. “I could take you straight to the first precinct and remand you to the enforcers there, but I don’t want to.”

“You don’t?”

“What I want, Jinx, is for you to apologize to my father for killing his wife. And I want it to be a damned good apology! It’s been hard enough for him as things are — questioning why I even bother with you.”

“Cait…” Vi reached across the carriage and grabbed her partner’s hand. “Don’t you think that’s a bit much?”

“No! I think it’s the very least she can do.”

“Not for her, Cait. For your father! After the weeks he’s had, what if this puts him in shock?”

“I know my father, Vi. He needs this more than anyone.” Caitlyn shot a quick look back at Jinx. “So? Will you do it? Or am I going to have to put you in a cage not even your magic girlfriend can break you out of!?”

Jinx looked at Lux for support, but the Demacienne was as lost as she was. “Um, I mean, Caitlyn, we’d just jump outta the car if you were gonna try to lock us up again.”

“Please, Jinx, don’t make me twist your arm. I hate being the bad guy here.”

Lux grabbed Jinx’s hands, taking them into her own and kissing them softly. “Do you trust her?”

“No, it’s not that,” Jinx said. “I don’t even know if I can apologize. I’m not sorry, and I don’t wanna be a liar.”

“Fuck this.” Caitlyn pumped on the brakes, bringing their carriage to a screeching halt. “Out! Both of you! Get the fuck out and leave us alone.”

“Powder, please?” Vi said. “Can you just do this one thing for her? Just this once?”

“No! I can tell him why it happened, but I’m not gonna pretend I made a mistake,” Jinx said. “If you want this guy to know the truth, shouldn’t it be real?”

“I’m going to regret this,” Caitlyn muttered under her breath. Then she turned to Jinx and pointed sharply. “You give him the full truth, and you answer any questions he has! And then, at the end of it, if he’s uncomfortable with you for any reason, you leave straight away! Understood?”

“What if he’s not?”

Caitlyn shrugged, defeated. “If Lux needs safe harbor from her family, then I’ll make sure it’s arranged.”

“You will?” Lux and Jinx asked at the same time.

“Yes. Obviously. I’m not a monster!” Caitlyn told them. “Neither of you are safe out in the city, and I have no intention of leaving you to your own devices, but I can’t have you staying at my house if the very sight of you makes my father’s skin crawl. So either you’re giving him an apology, or you’re on your own.”

“Oh.”

“Did I mishear?” Lux asked. “Are you offering us a chance to stay with you?”

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Because the estate is massive, and I have more than I need,” Caitlyn said. “And because I tend to believe in people to a fault. It’s going to get me killed some day. If you girls are right, and this was mostly about escaping your family’s persecution, then I don’t want to get in the way of that. I’m tired of taking what I have for granted.”

Jinx and Lux looked at each other, then both nodded at the same time.

“We’ll do it.”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

Tobias Kiramman was not an imposing man on a good day, and he looked even less so hunched over in his sweat-soaked robes. The many-wrinkled bags under his eyes told the story of despair, as did the unkept blue-and-white beard he was sporting.

They were all standing in the entrance foyer of the Kirraman estate, and only Lux had never been there before, but entering properly was a first for Jinx as well. She grabbed her partner’s hand, and stood back while waiting for Caitlyn to approach her father.

“Dad?”

“You’re back,” the old man muttered in a weak voice. “And you brought… friends?”

“Of a sort,” Caitlyn said. She turned to Jinx. “Your turn. Please explain yourself, as we agreed.”

“Oh, um…” Jinx was at a loss for words. She hadn’t expected to do any talking right away. “Is it Sir Kiramman, or Lord, or I dunno how to address you?”

“Tobias is fine,” the man answered. “Among friends of my daughter, at least.”

“You don’t know who I am, do you?”

The elder nodded his head slowly, then answered, “I’ve heard a few names, but I pride myself on being amenable. What would you like to be called today?”

“Um. Jinx. And this is Lady Luxanna Crownslayer, but she goes by Lux.”

“A pleasure, your lordship.” Lux curtsied.

Tobias frowned. “Politics was always Cassandra’s thing. Personally, I never saw the point in such frivolous formalities. Girls, why has my daughter brought you here?”

Jinx looked at Lux, then back at the old man. “To explain myself, I guess.”

“You told me you’d apologize!” Caitlyn cut in.

Tobias waved her down. “It’s alright, Darling. Let the girl say what she has to say.”

Jinx stepped forward nervously, unsure where to start. “I wanted everyone topside to hurt as much as I was hurting. I had to do something! After everyone betrayed me, it’s what he would have wanted. I know it.”

“Who?”

“Silco!” Vi interjected, venom on her tongue.

“Dearie, please let your sister speak for herself,” Tobias said. He forced a smile and looked at Jinx. “Go on.”

“But that’s it,” Jinx told him. “What do you want me to say? That I lashed out ‘cuz I was angry at everyone!? That I didn’t care who I hurt!? Because I’m not gonna tell you I made the wrong choice! Or that I’m sorry…”

The old man Kiramman rocked back and forth, his jaw clenched under that bushy beard. “No. I can see that you wouldn’t be. We’re all faceless monsters to you, and probably have been your entire life.”

“Dad!” Caitlyn said. “What are you doing?”

Tobias looked at her, then back at Jinx. “Did you know it’s been over a decade since the last time I crossed the bridge down south? I’ve never even been to the undercity.”

Jinx looked around the room, trying to see if anyone else was following along, but found no satisfaction. “Okay…?”

The old man continued. “I thought you would look different. In my head, I pictured a warlord. I saw a soldier in thuggish uniform, missing her right eye, and scars on every inch of her furious body. But you’re not those things, are you? You’re a scared young woman with a lot of pain, and a lot to prove.”

“Dad, please, don’t underestimate her!” Caitlyn warned him. “She knows she looks like a helpless little girl. She uses that to manipulate people!”

“And what do I look like, Caitlyn?” her father asked. “How many times has the prestige of my symmetrical face and finely tailored suit brought me more than my fair share in this world?”

“That’s — No, Dad, that’s not the same!”

Tobias forced another smile in Jinx’s direction. “I didn’t know what to expect you would look like because I don’t know what your people look like, because I haven’t been there in ages. It’s been an arrogant mistake on my part, and one I should like to have amended.”

“I don’t get what’s happening,” Jinx said. “Are you apologizing to me?”

“It’s only fair,” the elder answered. “If this city failed you, and my family has been at the helm of the city for longer than you’ve been alive, then I share in that responsibility. And I share in its shame.”

A pool of purple welled up in Jinx’s eyes, and she couldn’t find the words. All that came out from her quivering lips was “Oh.”

“I can’t pretend to forgive you for what you’ve done to my family,” Tobias said, “And nor do I expect you to forgive the city for the gutter it left you in. But I can cook you lunch if you’re hungry, or breakfast as the case may be. Have you eaten yet?”

Lux wrapped her arms around Jinx to stop her from shaking. Then she looked up at the head of the household. “Why are you doing this? We don’t deserve anything like it.”

“No,” he said. “Perhaps you don’t. But I won’t be responsible for tearing apart another family. If you wish me no further harm, then let’s leave it at that. Are we agreed?”

Jinx and Lux both nodded along, thanking him profusely.

But he told them, “Don’t thank me. If my daughter trusted you enough to bring you here, then I accept her judgment. Now, how are we feeling about salami and egg on rye?”

—  ♦  ★   ♦  —

Vi hopped onto Jinx’s new bed to test out its springs, rustling up the several colored blankets as she did so.

“Powder, you know they’ve got dozens of guest rooms, right? Literal, factual dozens. So you and Crownguard don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jinx said. “I mean, these bed’s are ginormous. It’d be kinda selfish to keep it all to myself!”

“Right…” Vi winked at her. “Look at you, ya sly dog.”

“Heh. Yeah. Hey, Vi, after Luxie gets outta the shower, can you give us some space?”

“Nope! Cait told me to keep an eye on you, and I am keeping my word! So you’re stuck with me, at least until we get a better lock on the window.”

“Viiiiii…”

“What?” she laughed. “I’m joking.”

Jinx punched her softly. “It’s not funny.”

“Then let’s be serious for a moment,” Vi said. “Because if you fuck this up, there aren’t any more chances for you. You get that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Vi smiled wanly, then rolled over in the bed. “I thought Mister K was gonna blow up on you. Heh. Shows what I know.”

“He should’ve,” Jinx muttered. “I don’t deserve any of this.”

“Powder, nobody deserves anything, okay? I don’t deserve Caitlyn, and she doesn’t deserve this house, or all her family’s money, or any of it. When you really stop to think about it, ‘deserving’ doesn’t even exist. It’s just, well, it’s one of those things we make up to pretend that the world makes sense.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“If I say you deserve better, it’s because I want you to try harder for more. If someone else says you deserve worse, it’s probably because they’re jealous, or they want to feel more special than they actually are by putting you down in comparison.”

“Yeah,” Jinx said again. “Hey, when did you get so smart?”

“Fuck off!” Vi laughed. “I’ve always had plenty of street smarts. Just because I can’t build a rocket that flies halfway across the city doesn’t mean I don’t get how things work.”

“Yeah.”

A sharp rap on the door knocked three times, followed by Caitlyn’s voice. “May I come in?”

“Duh. It’s your house.”

Caitlyn opened the door a few inches and poked her head through. “Is Lux still in the shower?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit. I wanted to talk to her before you two went to sleep, but whatever — It can wait.”

“Is it important?”

“Yes, but it’s not urgent,” Caitlyn answered. “So, before this arrangement of ours goes on for much longer, I need to talk to Lux one-on-one and find out more of her deal with regard to how her family will respond. But you two have been up for, what, thirty hours now?”

“Yeah,” Jinx said. “Something like that.”

“Then we can wait until you’re rested. Because all of us have a lot to talk about.”

“Like what?”

Caitlyn’s eyes went wide. “Oh, you have no idea. There’s my father’s insane plan to pivot to a charitable foundation, and my own need to quell these violent uprisings that have been happening, and that’s just the start.”

“Hey,” Jinx said. “I’m not fighting for topside. Also, I’m really gonna need a Shimmer hook up or my insides’ll turn to mush.”

“Well, um, we’ll look into that,” Caitlyn told her. “As for the other thing, I’m not expecting you to fight my battles for me, but I do hope you know enough about the undercity’s current state that you can give me an informed opinion on how to negotiate.”

“Oh. That’s it?”

“No, of course there’s more,” Caitlyn said, “But it can wait until after you’ve had some rest.”

“Okay. Good night.”

Caitlyn chuckled, then stared across the room at where a window was letting in a giant column of light. “Later, then.”

Violet grinned, taking Jinx’s knee and giving it a good shake. “That was promising! Look at you being all mature and reasonable.”

“Ew.”

“Aww,” Vi teased. “I think maybe that institute rubbed off on you more than you thought it would.”

“Shut up,” Jinx laughed. “Would’ve done the same to you.”

“Whew. You’re not wrong. I’m prolly going to need to see my own therapist after everything you pulled today, and the last month or whatever.”

“Yeah. I know. I’m sorry, Vi.”

“Me, too, kiddo. We’ll do better in the future, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Well,” Vi said, “I think I just heard Lux’s shower turn off, so I’m gonna go ahead and give you two some space. Can I get you anything while I’m up?”

“Paint?”

Vi rolled her eyes, then slid off the bed and made for the door. “Nice try, goofball. Have fun with your princess.”

“Thanks,” Jinx answered, but Vi was already gone.

It was another minute before Lux finally appeared, her hair and body both wrapped tightly in towels. She smiled at Jinx, then eyed an empty spot on the bed.

“Ya doing okay, Luxie?”

“I’m alright,” the Demacienne answered. “They have good water pressure here. It’s even better than my family’s estate in High Silvermere.”

“Sounds excellent,” Jinx teased.

But Lux didn’t acknowledge the remark. Instead, she found her way to a vanity mirror and started fussing with her hair. “Speaking of which, now that I think about it, they’re not really my family anymore. Every last tie is…”

“...Gone,” Jinx finished for her.

“Mhm.”

“This all feels like I’m dreaming,” Jinx said. “Like I’m gonna wake up any minute now and it was all a trick my head’s been playing on me.”

“Is it a good dream, at least?”

“Parts of it, maybe. The rest, it’s a little too early to tell. Feels like it’s only gonna take a couple weeks max before they’re fed up with us. Prolly not even that long.”

“Well, there’s always the option of running away again,” Lux said. “The first sign of things going sour, just let me know and we’ll be out of here.”

“D’you think that’s gonna happen?”

“I don’t know, Jinx. You know more about the three of them than I do.”

“Yeah,” Jinx sighed. “Worth a try, at least. If Caitlyn’s serious about her and her dad’s plans to make things better, to make a real difference, I feel like I owe it to them.”

“Agreed.” Lux turned around and found her way to the bed, where she cuddled up close to Jinx. “For now, or at least until we get our bearings, let’s try to play along with what they want. That way we can see what all our options are. If the Kirammans are full of shit, we’ll make them pay.”

“And if not?”

“Then maybe we’ve found a new family.”

Jinx rolled over and draped a leg over Lux. “It just feels wrong, y’know? Like I’m turning my back on everything that’s ever meant anything to me.”

“Your head sure loves to torture you,” Lux said. She spread her fingers through Jinx’s hair and pushed a thick fringe aside. “How does such a pretty face hide so many demons?”

“It’s actually been better lately,” Jinx told her. “Last couple days, the voices have been leaving me alone more often.”

“That’s good. Maybe they recognize that you’re on a path to self-fulfillment.”

“Yeah. Or they don’t think I’m worth bothering anymore.”

“No, don’t do that,” Lux whispered. “Please, Jinx, don’t be your own biggest bully. You already have enough enemies out there without adding yourself to the list.”

“Okay.”

“These circumstances may be strange,” Lux continued, “Or even unprecedented, but we’re great at figuring shit out! So let’s get some rest, and then, you know, figure it out. We don’t have to think of it as giving up. Not really. What we’ve lucked into here is a huge opportunity. It just needs a bit of research before we learn how to use it.”

Jinx closed her eyes and leaned against the woman beside her. “Okay. Sounds good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I liked your sister, by the way,” Lux said. “Despite it all, she seems nice.”

“Ehh, only when you’re on her good side,” Jinx muttered, her words halfway lost to sleep.

Lux chuckled to herself, then nuzzled her chin against Jinx’s head. “I suppose that could be said for a lot of people. But, given the circumstances, I’ll count it as a miracle that we aren’t on her bad side.”

“Mhm.”

“Alright,” Lux said. “I can hear that I’m losing you. I should let you sleep, and get some rest. You’ve earned it.”

“Okay,” Jinx yawned. “Good night, Luxie. Even though it’s the middle of the day.”

“Good night, Dork.”

“Good night, Stupid.”

“Good night.”