Chapter Text
Shikamaru had been wondering about something since a while. He was known for doing a whole lot of thinking usually but there was something worth pondering over in his mind as of late.
He wished he could have asked his father about it. But he could not ask his father for any advice anymore.
It pained him to think that the second person he could think of was Asuma, and he could not ask him either.
A shifting right next to his side drew him away from his thoughts.
Laying on the bed with his arms crossed behind his head, he threw a glance at the sleeping lady beside him. She was slightly tossing, turning on her side to face him.
He could not help the slight chuckle from escaping his lips.
See, Temari very often had a stern, serious look on her face. That was her default expression.
Shikamaru could say something cheesy and romantic, like in those novels and movies, that as opposed to her usual demeanor, she looked peaceful and cute when she was asleep. But no.
She looked mad. Like seriously angry, with furrowed eyebrows and a light crease between them and a slightly scrunched up nose with sort of pursed lips.
She seemed about ready to throw hands in her sleep.
He shifted slightly on his side, facing her. Shikamaru slowly brought up his index to her face, gently rubbing at the crease between her eyebrows with a soft smile on his lips.
It did not take long before Temari started scrunching up her nose even more, her eyes opening ever-so-slightly.
Her eyes seemed unfocused for a short while, before she cleared her throat, “Why are you poking my forehead?”
Her voice was raspy and sleepy. Shikamaru wondered if she had not been just sleep talking.
“I’m preventing you from getting wrinkles,”
“I’ll cut your finger off,”
With that threat in the air, Temari slowly closed back her eyes and Shikamaru could not surpass the urge to lean forward, placing a gentle kiss between her eyebrows.
“I’ll cut your face off,” but she did not sound mad at all. In fact, she lovingly nuzzled closer to him as he brought an arm to let it drape over her.
Shikamaru sighed as he closed his eyes.
It was a pity she had to leave in two days.
He wished to have that every day for the rest of his life.
Ugh.
And then his mind circled back to his pondering.
They never really talked about it but they both knew they were as serious as it could get. You could not date a ninja from another village without being serious; that would be aiming for diplomatic conflict.
Temari had brought up once or twice the fact that she never imagined herself married before or in a steady relationship. Often, she quickly added that it changed after their semi-peace had been achieved. She would never actually use the words “Since you,” but the hint of it was undeniable.
Most of the time, Temari's face was either stern or angry but Shikamaru could usually see past that. Her serious teal eyes spoke to him in speeches that her mouth never did.
One of those times had been during Naruto and Hinata’s wedding. At the time, they had just started acknowledging that they actually were in a relationship, after more than a year of faux dating between meetings and reunions where everyone saw them as a couple except themselves.
Even at the time, he could see the gentle glint of tenderness in her eyes with a slight pinch of yearning.
She did not voice any of it, obviously. Temari was too proud for that, but he could see it clearly; she wanted what they had.
At the time, he had shrugged it off. It was too early to think of any of that, but he did feel glad to see she was not wholeheartedly against the idea. He did want to get married eventually.
The second time he saw that look was fairly recently, when Ino announced her engagement. His friend had told her about it personally as Temari and him were having a cup of tea in between two Chunin exam organization meetings and she appeared out of nowhere glad to talk about her engagement to someone that had not heard about it yet. Ino swore that Temari’s expression barely changed except for the slight smile when she congratulated her.
Well Ino must be going blind because Shikamaru very clearly saw the joyful look in her eyes but also a hint of envy and he was thrilled about that. It meant that she wanted it as much as he did.
The sound of Temari clearing her throat yanked him away from his thoughts.
“I’m thirsty,” her eyes were still closed as she licked her parched lips, “Go get me water,”
Shikamaru sighed deeply, “Temari, I’m not getting up,”
“Be a nice lover,”
“I’m not a nice lover,”
She jabbed at his side with a long index and he shifted away from her.
“Now you’re just being troublesome and mean,”
“It’s the thirst,”
He looked at her pointedly, “Pretty sure that’s your default setting,”
“Get me water,” she still had her eyes closed and she tucked her hands gently under her head.
“What do I get from it?”
“The pleasure of being nice to me,”
“You are never nice to me,”
She shrugged, “You’re the cheesy crybaby Leaf ninja, I’m the tough Sand kunoichi. Stay within your character archetype and I stay in mine. Now, go get me water,”
He smiled gently then, reaching to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, “My character archetype is telling you to screw off, Temari,”
“While it gets me water?”
She was troublesome, annoying, a huge pain in the ass and he would marry her in that instant if she was willing to have him.
With a lazy smile, Shikamaru brought up his hand to cup her cheek.
“Temari?”
She hummed, slightly opening her eyes, “I want my water,”
“Do you want us to get married?”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Temari’s eyes shot up as wide as they could get and for once in his life Shikamaru wished that he could not read her eyes as well as he could.
If anyone else had seen her face at the time, they would have thought she was unfazed. But he saw utter and pure shock. Soon, the surprised look shifted into the most loving and tender gaze she had ever given him, instantly sending butterflies to his stomach. Her teal eyes were slowly watering up and he could see in that glossy teal colour that she was content and happy.
But it soon contorted into a gaze that would probably haunt him for the rest of his life.
Apologetic teal eyes were staring at his soul and Shikamaru felt like he could not breathe anymore.
“I-I’m...I,” Temari stuttered, and that was the first time Shikamaru saw her unsure of what to say.
She did not finish her sentence and just kept staring at him with those remorseful eyes.
It seemed that, for once, Shikamaru had not seen that outcome in his 200 steps ahead planning.
What hurt him the most was not her response to what he had said, but the fact that he could see clearly in the depth of her gaze that she wanted it as much as he did but he felt like there was something on her mind and she did not trust him enough to confide in him.
And that, was killing him slowly inside.