Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was finally the end of Feline's school day, and she couldn't wait to go home and fall asleep. Today was Valentine's Day, and her whole class had been annoyingly loud about this Valentine's ball tonight. Feline wasn't going, She didn’t have any friends to go with, let alone a boyfriend or something. Besides that, she would never be allowed to go.

‘Poff’

Suddenly a snowball fell on her back, and Feline instantly turned around to see who had hit her. Based on his smirk, it turned out to have been Nathan, one of her class bullies.

“Are you joining us for a snowball fight or do you need to go home and study for that test tomorrow with your daddy. You don’t want to fail again, do you?” He asked in an irritating baby voice.

Feline turned back around and started walking her way home, ignoring Nathan’s comment about her bad grades. Unfortunately, he was right though. Feline’s grades had been bad for ages, she was lucky she didn’t have to redo a year yet. She can’t really do anything about it though. She is just too busy to do her homework or study, and when she is in school she is often too tired to focus. All because of Tate. Her mother’s stupid abusive boyfriend, whom she was now stuck with after her mother had died four years ago.

The walk home felt especially long today. The ice-cold Chicago wind made Feline cold to the bone. Even with her jacket zipped up to her chin and her hands deep in her pockets. When she was almost home and ready to wrap herself tight in a blanket, Feline saw Mason playing outside in the yard in front of his house. Her neighbor Josephine, or Jo as she liked to be called, had been fostering the six-year-old for a few months now. He had lost both his parents in a car accident when he was five, just like how Feline had lost her mom to one. The two had bonded quick and Feline saw him as her best friend now even though he was a lot younger than her. He would always be waiting for Feline to come out of school in the front yard so that he could say hi. Today was no different.

“Hey, Feline!” he said with his ever-present smile when he spotted her too.

"Hi, Mason." She replied. "Did you have a good day at school?"

"yeah!" He came from where he was shooting a ball against the wall to where Feline stood by the fence. "I helped Miss. Banks a lot today because I was the helping hand."

"Oh, that was nice of you," Feline responded. She wanted to keep talking with him but she knew she couldn’t. "I bet your teacher was really happy. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"see you tomorrow!" he yelled over his shoulder as he ran inside.

Feline hated that she never had time to go outside and play with kids from the neighborhood. She just felt so lonely most days, right now she only got to play with Mason when Tate would be gone for a few days.

She walked up to her own porch and opened the front door. She was immediately met by Tate. She had barely passed the threshold, or he already started with his pitty "Why do you keep talking to that stupid kid?" He asked.

Feline just shrugged her shoulders and pulled off her jacket, but he stopped her. Tate gave her a grocery list and some money and shoved her out the door again.

"go and get that first, then you can cook dinner. We will see if there is any time left today to do that stupid homework of yours."

Feline wasn't happy with the sudden grocery trip. She was hoping to have time for her math this afternoon, but that plan was in the water now. She walked to the store twice as fast as normal because of her anger, Silently cursing out Tate the whole way there. When she entered the store, she was happy with the warmth that flooded her senses. She rubbed her hands together to get them to warm up and started working through the list.

Luckily Feline knows her way around the grocery store well, she comes there at least once a week. In about ten minutes she is already halfway through the list Tate gave her. She wants to be home as fast as possible, so she can work on her math before dinner. Hopefully, she won’t forget the time today like she did last

“You little brat come downstairs, now!” She heard Tate shout from the bottom of the stairs.

Feline threw one look at the time, and she instantly knew she had fucked up. She was supposed to make dinner before he got home, but she had been so focused on her homework that she had forgotten the time. She got up and ran downstairs as fast as she could.

“Ah, there you are. Where is my dinner?!” Tate said as soon as he saw her.

“I-I’m so s-sorry. I was d-doing my homework, a-and I just forgot.” She stuttered back.

He started walking toward her, and Feline walked backward slowly. A useless attempt to avoid the beatings that were going to come.

“How the hell do you forget to make my dinner if you make it every fucking day!”

Then it happened, Feline tripped over the rug in the living room and tried to catch herself on her hands. Which wasn't the best move she could have made, because now there was an awful pain in her wrist.

Feline rubbed her painful wrist softly at the memory, she knew it was probably broken, but she couldn’t go to the doctor. Tate would lose his mind if he saw she had a cast. Afraid that she would have said something to the doctors, that she would have told them where the bruises and scars came from. And that would just end her in more pain. So, no, Feline wasn’t planning on going to the doctor, she never did. She couldn't even remember the last time she had been to the doctor. She would just let it rest as much as possible, and then it would heal on its own.

She continued to pick up the other items on her list and finally ended at the pasta aisle. She picked the one she always got and was then startled by three loud gunshots from outside.

Chaos broke out around her, people started screaming and running, trying to find a place to hide. Feline was frozen in place though, barely registering that what she heard were gunshots. She didn’t know what to do. She had had shooting drills at school, but they had been in the classroom then, not the store!

She was looking around herself frantically, trying to see where she could go. But her body didn’t move. Then Feline saw a woman a few feet away from her pull out a gun. Her breath hitched and she could feel the panic rising in her chest. The woman didn’t turn to Feline, instead, she looked around the end of the aisle outside, where the shots had come from. But Feline was sure her life would end between now and a few seconds, the woman only had to turn around and shoot her, right? But she didn’t, instead, the woman said some things into her phone, something about calling it in, or so. Feline couldn’t hear what she said, everything sounded a bit muffled, like when she cried or screamed into her pillow, the only thing she heard, and felt was her rapid breathing and heartbeat. Then the woman turned back around, and that seemed about the first time she noticed Feline. She quickly put her gun away and crouched down in front of her.

“Hey, hey, sweetie.” She said while she tried to lay her hand on Feline’s lower arm, but Feline flinched away, so she stopped. “It’s okay, You’re safe.”

“I’m Hailey, and I’m from the police, see.” She said while showing Feline her badge. “Can you take some long deep breaths for me?”

Feline tried to, but it was hard. Every time she took one breath a bit slower than the one before, it felt like she didn't get enough air. And she started breathing faster again.

After a few moments, Hailey said. "Hey, it's okay. Just look at me, follow me." It became easier when she tried to follow Hailey's breathing, and after a few more minutes she was breathing normally again.

“What’s your name sweetie?” Hailey asks her ultimately.

“F-Feline.” She stuttered back.

“Okay, Feline. Do you know where your parents are?” Hailey asked. “Or maybe one of their numbers so I can call them.”

“no!” She yelled back immediately. “No, y-you can’t call him.”

Feline could feel the panic start to rise again. Hailey couldn't call Tate. He would be so mad, about her getting into trouble and talking to the police, that she would probably not see the end of the day. She really couldn’t let Hailey help her, even though she wanted to so bad. No, Feline needed to go home as fast as possible. She tried to walk away , but Hailey was faster and grabbed her by her wrist. Feline let out a painful hiss because of course, She had grabbed the wrist she had hurt last week. 

Hailey loosened the grip on her wrist and slowly picked up Feline’s other hand too. She asked carefully. “Why not, sweetie?”

“I-I don’t know his number.” She lied, kind of. She indeed didn't know his number, but that was not the reason Hailey couldn't call him.

“That's okay,” Hailey said back, then she thought for a little while. “Uhm… I have this friend, her name is Trudy. She can probably help us find your parents, but then you have to come with me to the district, okay?”

“Okay,” Feline said back. She didn't really know what else to say. Hailey clearly wasn’t going to let her go on her own. Besides that, she would already be in trouble with Tate if she returned empty-handed. Why not delay the inevitable by going with Hailey for a minute, she seemed really nice.

A few seconds later, they walked out of the store together. Feline held onto Hailey’s hand tightly, a little overwhelmed by everything that happened. Hailey held onto hers just as tightly, probably afraid she would run again. Somehow Feline felt safer at this moment than she had ever felt in the last few years. Which is weird because she had just been at a shooting. The only time Feline ever felt safer than right now was when her mother was still alive and they didn’t live with Tate yet.

Feline thought there had been a lot of chaos in the store, with everyone running around in full-on panic mode. But outside there was chaos too. Multiple police cars were standing on the road to block it, and numerous police officers were walking around. Some were talking to witnesses and others were talking to each other.

Then Feline's eyes cached on a white sheet with what seemed like a person beneath it. One of his arms stuck out, it was totally red from the blood. She stared at it, and her legs didn't seem to work anymore. Hailey noticed and carefully tried to pull Feline away from it.

"Don't look at that, sweetie."

Right before Feline had to turn back around, two paramedics came by the man, they shoved his hand under the sheet and put him on a stretcher.

When She looked forward again, Feline saw a man approach them and tried to hide behind Hailey a bit. He was big and muscly, just like Tate. But His hair was short and brown, not black. And this man had a lot of freckles, just like she did.

"Hey, don't worry." Hailey said to Feline as soon as she noticed that she was a little scared. "that's Jay, he's my partner. He's not going to hurt you." 

Feline relaxed a bit at her words and stopped hiding as much, but she was still a little wary of him. It simply wasn’t in her nature to trust men, so she made sure she watched his every move.

"Hi." Hailey greeted him as soon as he stood still in front of them. Feline, on the other hand, didn't say anything, she just kept staring at him.

"Hi, you okay?" he greeted her back. "who did you find?" 

Hailey nodded and said, "This is Feline, she was in the store with me, and now we are going to try to find her parents, with some help from Trudy."

"Alright, so you're gonna need a ride to the district with us."

They walked to a big grey truck together, and let Feline climb onto the tailgate.

"Alright, I'm gonna need you to wait here for a little while so we can talk to our boss about what happened here, and then we will ride with you to the district, okay?" Hailey said as soon as Feline was settled on the truck.

Feline just nodded, she felt a bit uncomfortable without Hailey’s reassuring hand.

"Good," Jay said before he extended his hand for a high-five. But Feline didn't give him one, instead, she flinched away from his hand and moved her arms up a bit, like she was attempting to block a blow to her head. As soon as she realized he wasn't going to hit her she let her arms back down. Jay and Hailey exchanged a concerned look but didn't say anything about it. Instead, they made their way toward the rest of the team that had just arrived a few minutes ago.

"I'm concerned about her, Jay." Hailey started as they were walking off. "In the store, she was having a panic attack, which I guess isn’t unreasonable. But then she flinched away when I tried to calm her, she got all panic again when I asked her about her parents and even tried to run. I grabbed her by her wrist to prevent her from doing that, but that probably hurt because she let out a painful hiss. She was totally alone in that store, without knowing at least one of her parent's numbers. Seriously, who lets their kid go alone to a store without knowing…"

"Whoa, whoa. Hey." Jay then interrupted her and went to stand in front of Hailey. he put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"I get that you're worried, I am too. The way that girl reacts to people and gestures, is not normal. But right now, there is not much we can do besides bringing her to the district and finding her parents, okay?"

Hailey closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. "yeah, but we can't let her go home with them if they do what I think they do."

"I know," He responded. "but let's deal with that later. Right now, we've got to find them first."

"Yeah, okay. You're right."

She would let it drop for now. Jay was right they couldn't do much at the moment, but that didn't help with the uneasy feeling she had in her stomach. Feline reminded her a bit too much of a younger version of herself.

A few seconds later, they reached the rest of their team. "Hey, are you guys alright? What the hell happened here?" Voight asked them as soon as they halted in front of the team.

"Yeah, we're good," Jay replied after he shared a look with Hailey to confirm she was okay too. "It seems to have been a drive-by shooting. I was waiting in the car while Hailey was in the store, and then this black SUV approached from the south. I saw two men, masked, one driver, and one shooter. He shot at the people in front of the store. One didn't make it, and two others were injured but their chances look good. The car flew north, but I didn't get the license plate."

Voight nodded at that. "That's okay, we can check the security cames for that when we get back. What about you Hailey? Did you see anything from inside?"

"No, I'm sorry," She responded while shaking her head. "As soon as I heard the shots I looked outside, but the car was already too far to read the plate. When I turned back around, I had to calm Feline down.”

"Feline?" Adam asked. "Is she the girl that sat on your trunk a few seconds ago?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna try to find…" Then it hit her, a few seconds ago.  As in not anymore. Quickly, she turned back around to see if she was still there, but the trunk of Jay's truck was empty.

"Where did she go?"

Chapter Text

“Why the hell did it take so long to get NO groceries!” Tate shouts as soon as she walks into the house. Feline had taken her chance to run home the moment she saw that nobody was looking at her, she really couldn't go to the police station and let them call Tate. Even though Hailey seemed really nice and she had felt safe with her, she couldn’t let them find out about him.

“I’m sorry, there was a shooting but I came home as soon as they let me.”

“Let you?” He looked surprised to hear that. “What! Did you talk to the police?”

The fact that he cared more about if she talked to the police than if she was okay and unharmed hurt Feline. More than the hits and kicks ever could.

“No, no, I swear, I said nothing to the police” The tears came to her eyes, and they tried to escape, but she didn't let them. She had to be alone first, then she could cry.

Feline knew Tate wasn't the best friends with the police, it was more like they were his biggest enemy. She wasn’t quite sure what he exactly did for work, but it was against the law, that’s for sure.

“Mmh, okay. Well, give me my money back.” Tate said, snatching the money out of her hands roughly and pushing towards the kitchen, making Feline fall to the ground. “get up. You're still making dinner.” He said as he stepped over her and sat down on the couch, grabbing the still half-full beer bottle off the table from where it stood next to four empty ones.

Feline gets up from the ground and goes to the kitchen to make him some dinner. There wasn’t really enough food for her too, but she didn’t mind. She skipped meals quite often.

Once Feline was done in the kitchen, she went upstairs to her room. She finally had some time for her homework, but she didn't get anything done. First, she cried and screamed into her pillow for half an hour, questioning if she actually made the right choice by running. What would have happened if she hadn't? If she had gone with Jay and Hailey instead. Would they have found Tate and called him? Or, would they have found out that he was abusive and called CPS? Feline didn't want to go into the foster system, that could be even worse than staying with him, right?

After a while she just gave up on her homework and went to bed, she would fail that test either way, so there was no point in trying anyway. Her head kept going over all the ‘what ifs’ tough. What if Hailey hadn’t been there? What if she was the one who got shot? Would he have even come to the hospital for her? Eventually, sleep won over her thoughts. Her body was too tired from the day she had to stay awake.

Pang! Pang! Pang!

There were those damn gunshots again, Feline was back in the grocery store. Pack of pasta in one hand, a basket in the other. She felt an awful pain shoot through her abdomen and fell to the ground. This time she was the one that got hit by one of the shots, not some random stranger outside. Everything around her seemed to vanish. Empty shelves surrounded her, not a single person in sight. The windows, gone, just black emptiness. She was the only one who was still there, her back against an empty shelve. She looked down to see her shirt which once was light grey now totally socked with blood.

When she looked up, an old lady appeared from behind a shelve. “H-help me, please.” She heard herself say in between fast breaths. The woman didn't even acknowledge her. She just walked past her without even as much as looking at her.

The same thing happened a few more times. A person would appear, men and women, young and old. Feline would plead for their help, but they would just ignore her like she wasn't even there.

Then suddenly, Hailey came into view. “Hailey! H-help, P-please." She cried out. Hailey looked up, and for a second Feline thought that she would help her, but she pulled her gun from her waist again.

'Pang!'

Feline was startled awake and sat up immediately. She was breathing fast and didn't seem to get enough air, she looked around herself. Her room was the exact same as when she had gone to bed, her homework was still on the ground in the middle of the room because she didn't have a desk to put it on. Her clothes of the day before were still over the door of her closet to put on again tomorrow. There were no empty shelves from the grocery store, no black emptiness, no wound under her shirt, and no Hailey who shot her.

It was just a nightmare.

Just. A. Nightmare

Feline tried to slow her breathing but when there was nobody who showed her how to, it seemed to be very hard. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She tried to be as silent as possible, not wanting to wake him up. After a few sips of water, Feline finally felt a bit calmer, so she went back to her room.

She couldn't sleep anymore tough. She kept seeing the man under the white sheet from when she walked out of the store, and Hailey who had her gun pointed at her. Feline had felt safe with Hailey. So, why was she suddenly the one who killed her in her dream? Was it because Feline couldn't trust the police or anybody in general, as Tate told her all the time, 'Don't talk to strangers, you can't trust them.' But why couldn't she, a stranger had never done something harmful to her, but he did all the time.

Eventually, Feline gave up the hope to sleep any more that night and got out of bed. She settled on some drawing, something she always did when she needed to clear her head. It didn't really work this time, unfortunately. Why couldn't she just be a normal nine-year-old kid who had no worries about cooking dinner or doing groceries? Why couldn't she just be a normal kid who had loving parents!?

A little over a week later, Feline fell asleep in the middle of a lesson. Something she had done way too often in the last few days. She kept having nightmares about the shooting at the grocery store, which resulted in not getting enough sleep every night.

Last night had been even worse than the others, Tate had been gone since last Sunday, leaving Feline to her own devices. She didn't have any food left in the house or money to go buy some. Luckily, Ms. Green had invited her over for dinner yesterday, she did that a lot when Tate would be gone. She would make sure that Feline would be fed every day, slipping her some money in the morning to buy lunch at school, and things like that. It had been a little too nice though, with Ms. Green and Mason. She always felt like she was just a kid again at their dinner table, listening to Mason’s stories. She had lost track of time after dinner with Mason wanting to show her all his dinosaurs. She went home as soon as she could, but she had still been busy with her homework till deep into the night. When she was finally asleep, the nightmares kicked in again.

“Feline, Feline! Wake up”, Macy, the girl who sat next to her, shook her awake at the shoulders. Feline jumped away from her and was directly wide awake. “Are you alright? You have been sleeping in class a lot the last few days”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

Before Macy could ask any further, the teacher interrupted, “Alright, Macy, Feline may I get your attention too, I want to continue my lesson”

Feline didn't pay attention for the rest of the lesson. She thought about a good life, a happy life. A life with loving parents, a dog, and maybe a sibling. All the things she so desperately wanted, but couldn’t get.

Before she knew it the bell rang and it was time for lunch break.

Tate finally comes home the next day, awfully early though. He wakes her up at four A.M. shouting that she has to come downstairs immediately.

Feline stands beside her bed before she even realizes it. She considers changing out of her pajamas for a second before she hears him shout again and runs downstairs. When she enters the kitchen, she immediately clocks the mood he is in. She knows what is coming next.

“Ah, look who has decided to show up”, he says with a grin on his face, but his eyes are angry. “the thief.”

Feline doesn't know what to say to that. Thief! She didn't steal anything from him. She would never even dare to, she knows the consequences.

He laughs at her stunned face. ‘Yeah, you! you slipped into my bedroom and stole my money when I was away.” Did he seriously believe that? She hadn’t stepped foot in his bedroom since the day she and her mother moved in with him. He had been very clear from day one that that was uncharted territory.

“I did not,” Feline said, a hopeless attempt to convince him and she knew it.

The grin on his face disappeared in a second, and now his whole face looked furious. “who else would have done it then, you were the only one home, you brat!”

She actually had a pretty good idea, probably his drunk-ass self. But Feline didn't say that, she just kept staring at him, waiting for the punches to come. There was no way he was going to believe her.

When Tate finally decides that he has punished her enough, Feline lies on the ground, rolled into a ball, bruises covering her whole body. Tate doesn't care and lets her lay on the cold floor. He goes to his usual spot on the couch and puts on the TV. 

"Get up and make me my breakfast," he says while staring at the screen. Feline knows it is meant for her, though. "And scrub down that kitchen when you’re done. You’ve made quite a mess while I was gone. And don’t even think about eating something yourself. I don’t care how hungry you are." 

Feline is okay with the last part. She is never hungry in the morning, especially when he had just beaten the crap out of her. Her body would hurt too much to even care about food. The other part. She is not so happy with it. Scrubbing down the kitchen in her current state sounds like hell right now. Even more so with her wrist which was probably still broken. Apparently, it wasn't as simple as letting it rest as much as possible. She couldn't let anyone notice that she was hurt. Luckily, Tate hadn't been home in the last few days, which made it much easier to rest at home. In school, it was a little harder. If they noticed her pain, they would send her to a doctor and ask why she didn't go when it happened.

Feline uses all her strength to get off the ground without screaming from the pain that rages through her whole body and stumbles through the kitchen to prepare her dad's usual breakfast.

Around an hour later, there are loud bangs on the door. Tate pauses the TV and goes to open the door while Feline goes back to cleaning the shelves and cabinets in the kitchen. She expects him to deal with whoever is at the door, but the guy comes marching into the living room.

"Luc, what the hell man. You can't storm into someone’s house without asking!" Tate shouts when he comes walking in after the guy, Luc seemingly. "You have to leave right now!"

Luc ignores him and walks to the couch in the living room, leading Tate with him. "I don't care about the rules, and apparently neither do you." He says as he pulls a gun from under his jacket and points it at Tate. 

Feline has stopped cleaning again and stares at the scene from her place on the kitchen floor. This Luc guy is clearly furious. She doesn't dare to move or make a sound. Luc hasn't seen or acknowledged her yet, and she is afraid that if he does. She will get a bullet through her head too. So, she stays as silent as possible and watches as the scenes in front of her unfold.

"You. Killed. My. Brother!" Luc screams while he moves slowly closer to Tate. "And I will make you pay for it."

Feline squints her eyes shut at his loud voice, and then all she hears is two shots. She opens her eyes again and sees Tate fall to the ground, the carpet underneath him already stained with his blood. She doesn't know why she is suddenly moving, but she does. Her whole body screams because of the pain and she feels a little lightheaded from the sudden move, but she can’t stop. She knows it is helpless, but she tries to run upstairs, hoping that Luc won't shoot her too. He does, though. Feline feels the pain in her arm and falls to the ground. Then everything is just black.

Chapter Text

When Feline wakes up again, Luc is nowhere to be seen. She isn't sure if he is actually gone. Or if he is still in the house and will come back. She tries to get up, continuing her plan of running upstairs, but the bullet has made a pretty nasty wound on her right arm, and the world starts to spin around her. She grips the table next to her. She stands there for a while, forcing herself not to look at Tate’s body. She doesn't have to look at him to know he is dead now, just like her mom. When the spinning finally stops, she slowly climbs up the stairs. Feline finds a towel she used for the shower yesterday over the door of her closet and covers the wound on her arm.

She goes to hide in the best space there is. Her room doesn't have a lot of hiding places. She only has a little closet and a bed that she doesn’t even fit in anymore. There is this one place at the end of her bed. It is a small gap between her bed and the wall. It is the only place you wouldn't directly notice somebody if you walked in.

Feline isn't sure how long she sits there until she hears people outside the house. She is afraid that it might be this Luc guy again, that he might have come back to kill her too. Or worse, to kidnap her. There are multiple voices, so he must have brought his friends. Which makes her even more scared that it is the latter of the two options. Feline doesn't dare to move or make a sound. She barely breathes and hides as well as possible. It is quiet for a moment, and then there is this loud bang. She hears voices come closer, and Feline knows they are inside now. She can hear what they are saying.

First, she hears a woman shout. "Clear."

Then a man calls, "Body."

They are saying more things, but Feline can't hear them anymore. She doesn't know what they're saying. Everything has just started to become distant, she can only hear muffled sounds in the distance. She can't move anymore. There is this lump in her throat that makes swallowing hard and painful. Her eyes are clued to the door of her room. She stares at it for a while, thoughts racing through her head. What is going to happen to her now? She doesn't have any parents left. Is she just supposed to live on herself now, or will she be placed in the foster system when someone finds out? If they even care.

Suddenly, the door to her room opens. Feline can see someone standing in her room now. She doesn't breathe, afraid they will find her if she does. It seems like the person doesn't notice her and is about to leave, but then the feet turn back around and approach her. The person crouches down beside her. Feline flinches at the sudden presence beside her and tries to move away, but she doesn't come very far. She is already pressed up against her wall. 

"It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you." The person says carefully. He settles down on the ground a bit further away from Feline when noticing that she is afraid. Feline carefully looks at him with one eye. He seems familiar, but she can't place from where. He looks at her with a soft smile, clearly noticing that she is looking at him.

"Are you hurt?" He asks, nodding to the towel pressed against her arm.

Feline tries to nod her head, but she isn't sure if it is actually noticeable. He moves closer to her and tries to take a look, but she moves away from him the best she can. He must notice her terrified state because he moves back slowly with his hands in front of him. "Okay. It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise." 

"Jay, you good?" They suddenly hear from the hallway.

Feline is startled by the sudden voice outside her room and tries to hide further away. The man in front of her replies with a short 'yeah' before he focuses on her again. "It's okay, that's just my partner. She wants to make sure I'm okay." 

"Jay, why does it take you so long to clear an empty…" His partner cuts her sentence off when she reaches Feline's room. She looks at the two sitting on the ground. Her partner sits with his back to the wall a few feet away from a young girl. That is curled into a little ball behind her bed.

Feline looks at the woman in her doorway. She recognizes her immediately. Then she looks back at the man in front of her, and suddenly it hits her. He is Jay, Hailey's partner whom she met outside the store. When Hailey looks at Feline's face well, she recognizes her too. She looks slightly different from the last time she saw her. She’s still skinny and small, but now there are bruises on her face and peeking out from under her pajamas. She has a towel pressed to her arm, her hair is messier, and her eyes look tired. 

Hailey walks further into the room and crouches down beside Jay. "Hey, Feline. It's okay. You're safe. You're gonna be okay." She says softly. "Can you come with us to let a doctor take a look at you?" 

Feline doesn’t answer. Her breath starts to stutter, her chest rising and falling too fast as her eyes dart between Hailey and Jay. Her fingers clench tighter around the bloodstained towel, and her body curls in even more. Her eyes are filled with tears threatening to spill over, but she doesn’t let them.

Hailey reaches out gently, not touching Feline yet, just letting her hand rest on the floor nearby. “It’s over, sweetie. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe now.”

And then Feline just breaks. Her bottom lip quivers. She blinks fast, and then her whole body lurches as a sob tears out of her.

It’s the kind of sound that doesn’t belong in someone so small.

The first sob is sharp and painful. The second one is worse, broken and desperate, and just as painful, but she can’t stop them, they just keep coming. Loud, messy, aching. She lets it all go, crying like she hasn’t done in years. Because it’s over now.

Jay doesn’t wait. He scoots closer, still slow, and still careful, but when she doesn’t pull away this time. He wraps his arms around her, steady and solid. She buries her face in his chest like she’s trying to crawl into him and falls apart all over again.

“It’s okay, honey,” he murmurs, cradling the back of her head as she sobs into his chest. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you now.”

Hailey kneels beside them and gently rubs Feline’s back, her touch light and steady. “We’ve got you. It’s okay, let it all out. You’ve been so strong.”

Jay just holds Feline through it, rubbing between her shoulders in slow circles. He glances sideways and catches the look on Hailey’s face. Her eyes are wet, her jaw tight. She’s still and steady for Feline, but there is a little girl inside of her that is breaking down just as hard, Jay can see it. He shifts slightly and reaches over, his fingers brushing against hers for just a second. A quiet gesture. Just enough to say I see you .

Hailey meets his eyes and nods once. Doesn’t speak, but something in her softens.

Feline’s sobs go on for a long time. Long enough that Jay feels his shirt is soaked with tears and Hailey wipes at her own eyes once or twice. They don’t rush her. They just stay right there with her, letting her cry until the shaking starts to ease and the sounds get quieter, more spaced out. Feline sags against Jay, her whole body trembling from exhaustion.

“You ready to get outta here, honey?” Jay asks softly, pulling back just enough to see her face.

She gives the faintest nod.

Jay shifts, lifting her carefully into his arms. She’s so light it makes his stomach twist. Feline curls into him automatically, cheek resting against his shoulder, her fingers still tight in his shirt. Jay doesn’t say anything, just holds Feline closer and carries her out of the room, one hand still rubbing her back, the other under her hips, like she’s something precious. Because she is.

“You’re safe, honey,” he whispers again as they step into the hallway. “You’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

He carries her all the way outside to an ambulance. Feline feels a bit overwhelmed by the chaos outside. Her house is surrounded by yellow tape. There are police, and a few neighbors have come out of their houses to see what's happening. She closes her eyes and hides her face further into his shoulder to hide from everything going on around her.

He places her on the stretcher and steps back out again. Feline crawls into a little ball immediately and goes to sit as far away from the paramedic as she can. She flinches when the paramedic wraps a warm blanket around her, but she is happy with the warmth it gives her.

"Hey honey, is it okay if I check you out? I'll be real quick," The paramedic asks her when Hailey and Jay are about to leave. Feline looks at them anxiously. She doesn't want them to go anywhere and leave her here with this strange woman. The paramedic tries to remove the towel from her arm, but Feline pulls back even further. The paramedic looks over to Hailey and Jay too. They are still standing at the back of the ambulance. 

They share a quick glance at each other before Hailey says, "You go talk to Voight. I'll stay with her.”

Jay nods and waves at Feline. "Be brave, okay?"

Feline waves her hand slightly back and then reaches out to Hailey. She comes into the ambulance and goes to sit next to her on the stretcher. Feline crawls into her side, immediately feeling safer when Hailey puts her arm around her.

The paramedic has changed tactics and is holding up a little stuffed bear. "I have this little guy for you," she says. "He is a special trauma bear. You can tell him everything, okay?"

Feline nods and takes the bear from her with her good hand.

"What’s his name?" Hailey asks while the paramedic carefully removes the towel from her arm.

"Mh...P-Pelle." Feline whispers.

"That's a beautiful name. I think it fits him."

Feline and Hailey stay focused on the bear while the paramedic carefully wraps her arm in a proper bandage. "All done," She says when she is finished. "But I'd like to take you to the hospital to let a doctor look at you."

Feline looks at Hailey with fear in her eyes. She is a little scared to go to the hospital. "Don't worry, alright,” she says calmly. "I'm going with you." She can’t even think of letting Feline alone now. She doesn’t know if it started last week at the store or when they found her today, but Hailey feels a strong need to make her feel safe. So, she’s not walking away until she knows she is.

They settled Feline on the stretcher. "I have to talk with Jay and my boss real quick," Hailey says when she is ready for transport. "I promise. I will be back soon, and you can see me the whole time, okay?" She squeezes Feline's hand one last time before stepping out of the ambulance and walking over to the rest of her unit.

Feline doesn’t want her to leave, but she lets her anyway. She said she would come back. She stares at Hailey while she talks to Jay and another man. He is older with grey hair. Hailey said it was her boss. The paramedic sits beside her on a little bench. Feline trusts her more now. She had wrapped her arm in a bandage, which is way better than pressing a towel against it. And she had given her this cute little teddy bear. She holds him in her hands tightly. He is incredibly soft and even has this little stripped bow around his neck.

Before she realizes it, Hailey is already walking back towards the ambulance with Jay beside her. Feline lets out a sigh when Hailey sits down on the bench next to the paramedic, feeling her shoulders sag down in relief.

"I'll see you two at Med," Jay says before closing the doors. Feline looks at Hailey with a puzzled look. Is Jay coming with her too?

Hailey chuckles a bit at Feline's confused face. "He’s coming to the hospital later. He is worried about you too."

The ride to the hospital is short. Within minutes they park outside the ED, and the doors open again. Feline is wheeled out of the ambulance by the paramedics. She had started to feel quite safe in the ambulance, but that feeling was instantly gone now. There are a lot of things happening all at once. She sees other ambulances with flashing lights. The two paramedics wheel her through the doors, and she is greeted by a guy with red hair in red scrubs. Feline squeezes Pelle and pulls her knees to her chest again while searching for Hailey. She walks right beside her and gives Feline her hand.

"It's okay, they're gonna help you,” she says to Feline while giving her hand a slight squeeze. The fear is evident in the girl's eyes, and it breaks Hailey's heart that she is so afraid of people. 

They are rolling her through a big oval room now with large glass doors on the sides and computers in the middle. One of the paramedics has started talking to the guy in the scrubs. Feline doesn't understand what she is saying, the words she uses are all unfamiliar. They bring her through one of the large glass doors, to a small room with a bed.

"Hey, I'm Dr. Halstead, but you can call me Will, okay." The guy with red hair says as he stands beside Hailey and gives her a little wave. "Can you climb on the bed for me?"

Feline looks up at Hailey. “It’s okay, he’s gonna help,” she says while she gives her hand an encouraging squeeze.

Feline looks back to the bed and hesitates for a second. But eventually, she gives Pelle to Hailey and crawls over from the stretcher. Hailey walks to the other side of the bed and sits down in a chair. She gives the bear back to Feline once she is settled on the bed, who clutches the bear to her chest. Hailey softly lays a hand on her arm, drawing comforting circles.

"Alright, sweetie, have you given this guy a name yet?" Will asks as he sits down on one of those rolling stools and rolls to her other side. He wants her to open up a bit before he starts asking the hard questions.

Feline fumbles with the little bow and then looks up at Will again. He looks at her with a soft smile, patiently waiting for her to answer. He seems like a good guy, and Hailey clearly knows him well. So, she thinks that she can trust him. "Pelle." She softly whispers to answer his question.

"Well, that's a lovely name," Will says to her, "what about your name?”

“Feline.”

Will nods his head slightly, “Feline, huh? That’s a beautiful name. Do you have a last name too, Feline?”

“J-Johnson.” She says softly.

“Okay, great,” Will says while he finishes writing Feline’s name down. He looks up at Feline with a serious face. “Now, Feline. I need your help with something. I want to know if Pelle is in pain. Think you can help with that?”

Feline nods and looks back at her bear, she thinks for a moment before she points at Pelle's right arm. 

"Would he like a band-aid?" Will says while he rolls over to a trolley to pick one. Feline answers with a nod before he asks. "Alright, what color should it be? Which is your favorite?"

"Purple."

Will picks a purple band-aid out of the drawer and rolls back to Feline's bedside. He puts the band-aid on the bear's arm and then asks. "How old are you, Feline?" 

She strokes over the light purple color of the band-aid with her thumb. She smiles and says softly. “Nine.”

It warms Will's heart to see this girl, who was so terrified just minutes ago, now smile in front of him.

"Are you nine?" He asks her in disbelief. Feline nods proudly, still afraid to speak more than a few words. Will pulls an impressed face before saying. "Wow, you are one tough cookie." He meant it, too. Covered in bruises, nursing a bullet wound, barely speaking, but still sitting upright, still holding on. Will doesn’t know the whole story yet, but the pieces are forming, and none of them are good. Hailey being here instead of a parent says enough.

He tells Feline he needs to check her stomach next, just to make sure everything inside is okay. The shift is immediate, her shoulders stiffen, and her eyes drop. She clutches Pelle tighter to her chest. Still, she doesn’t protest. Hailey gives her arm a small squeeze. After a long pause, Feline gives a single nod.

Will moves slowly. Every step is gentle, careful. He lifts her pajama shirt only enough to see the bruises scattered across her small torso and begins to examine her abdomen, checking for any signs of internal damage. She flinches when he presses near her ribs but doesn’t pull away.

Trying to distract her, Will glances up. “You’ve met Jay, right? You must have, He is never far from where Hailey is.” Feline nods, cautious again. “He’s my little brother,” Will adds.

That earns the faintest flicker of curiosity from her eyes.

“When we were kids, I was always the one patching him up. He couldn’t go a week without getting hurt. He was so clumsy, still is,” Will says lightly. “I got so good at band-aids and ice packs. At some point, people just assumed I’d be a doctor. Turns out, they were right.”

That draws a soft breath through her nose, almost a laugh. Her lips twitch at the corners. Will notices, but he doesn’t say anything. He just keeps going, his touch as gentle as his voice.

Next, he moves to her left arm, where the bullet wound sits high on the upper arm. It’s no longer actively bleeding, but it needs to be cleaned and stitched. When Feline spots the needle for the stitches, she immediately turns her face to Hailey on the other side of her bed. Hailey comforts her and runs a hand through her hair. When Will starts stitching her up, Feline keeps looking at Hailey as she tells her how Jay is even worse with needles. She gets sucked into the story and before she knows it Will declares that he is done as he puts a bandage over the stitches.

Then he asks if he can take a look at her left wrist. It has been cradled protectively in her lap the entire time. It’s swollen, and when he gently tests its movement, she flinches and bites down a sharp breath. That tells him enough.

“We’re going to need an X-ray on that wrist,” he says gently. “I think it might be broken. But if it is, we’ll get you a cast. I’ve got some fun colors to pick from. You like purple, right?”

She gives a small nod, the tiniest bit of light returning to her eyes.

Will steps back and gives her a reassuring smile. “You did great. You’re very brave.” He stands up and leaves the room, gesturing to Hailey that he wants to speak with her.

"I have to go talk with Dr. Will for a minute, okay?" Hailey says while squeezing her arm before leaving. "I'll be right outside the door."

They step out of the room and Will gently closes the door behind them, leaving the curtain open so Feline can still see them.

“She’s gonna be okay,” he begins. “Her wrist is probably broken, but that’ll heal with a cast. I am a little worried about internal bleeding, though, and I’d like to keep her for observation at least overnight.”

Hailey nods, her eyes flickering inside the room.

“I also have to tell you… she’s showing signs of abuse. I don’t know if you caught that already or not, but… yeah.”

“Yeah,” Hailey says, swallowing hard. “Uhm… I actually met her last week, in a store. There was a drive-by. She was alone, and I already had my suspicions then, but she ran before we could even bring her to the district.” She hesitates, then continues. “Today we responded to a shots fired call at her house. We found a man, probably her dad, DOA. Jay found her upstairs, hiding in her room. We don’t know exactly what happened yet.”

Will nods and says. “Right, I’ll see if I can find her mother or someone and call them.” He squeezes Hailey’s shoulder before he walks off, Hailey turns back to Feline’s room and sits back down next to the little girl.

Will heads down toward one of the computer stations. He starts updating her chart. The clicks of the keyboard help him stay focused, but the image of her guarded green eyes keeps flashing in his mind. He’s just about to pull up her intake file when someone rounds the corner. It’s Connor. Will’s shoulders relax the moment he sees him. He and Connor had been dating for a few months, but Will wasn't out to anybody yet. So, nobody knew. Not even his own brother.

Connor offers a crooked smile as he approaches. “You look like hell, babe”

Will huffs out a tired laugh. “I feel like hell, too. And it’s only nine A.M.” He waits a second before he quietly adds. “And don’t call me babe at work.”

“Noted,” Connor says as he leans against the counter beside him, just far away enough not to draw attention. He doesn’t even have to touch Will to make him feel more at ease, just his presence is enough. After a moment of silence, he asks. “So, why the long face?”

Will sighs before he speaks. “nine-year-old, domestic abuse. She’s with intelligence. Scared out of her mind, but she still let me stitch up her arm like it was nothing. Although I might have to give those credits to Jay and his fear of needles and he wasn’t even there.”

A soft smile appears on Connor’s face. He’s always admired how Will isn’t just a doctor, but a doctor with a heart. One who always wants the best for his patients, and sympathizes with them on a personal level. And sure sometimes that is a little too much for him, especially after his patient doesn’t make it. But Will has him in those moments to lean on now, and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

“She still has the brightest smile, even though she is in so much pain, Con,” Will continues before he turns back to the screen, clicking to pull up the intake file. “I’m just checking if there’s any info on her mom. Or any emergency contacts.”

The chart loads.

Will’s eyes catch on the name listed under father

And he freezes. A sharp gasp escapes him.

Connor straightens. “What is it?”

Will just stares, unable to form words. After a second, he shifts the monitor slightly so Connor can see.

Connor leans in, and his breath catches too. His eyes flick to Will’s.

“You’ve got to be kidding.” He lowers his voice. “We need to call DCFS. They probably want a DNA test, though.”

Will nod slowly, still stunned. Connor stays beside him, shoulder just brushing Will’s. For a moment, the chaos of the ER fades, and all that lingers is the weight of what this could mean.

Whatever happens next, it’s not going to be easy.

Chapter Text

Not long after Hailey came back from talking to Will, Feline had fallen asleep. Hailey had made her feel safe and Feline couldn’t fight any longer to keep her eyes open. But when she wakes up again, her room is empty. Hailey is nowhere to be seen and Feline can feel the fear coming back. She doesn’t know what she is supposed to do now, or where she is supposed to go. She can’t live with Tate anymore because he’s dead, so is her mother. She also doesn’t have a father. The only person that she can think of is Jo, her neighbor. Yeah, that’s the only one she has now. Feline needs her to foster her too, now that she has no family left. She doesn’t want to live with strangers, she needs to talk to Jo.

She climbs off the bed and walks to the door. When Feline looks through the door, she sees a bunch of people, some in red scrubs, others in blue scrubs. She doesn't recognize any of them. She can't even find Dr. Will among them. She takes her chance to run now that nobody is watching her and opens the door. She has to go and find Jo. Feline runs towards the nearest exit she sees. But she doesn’t come very far. A man steps out of a room in front of her and Feline runs right into him.

He reaches out immediately to steady the small girl that ran into him, grabbing her by the shoulders and holding her upright. She jerks back from his touch and bumps into the nurses' station behind her. Her eyes snap up to him, she’s trembling with fear and her breaths are a little unsteady.

"Hey, it's okay." He says softly, crouching down to her level. He keeps his hands open and in front of him. "It's okay. You're safe. I'm Connor. I'm a doctor here. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Feline wants to believe him. She really does. His voice is calm, his hands are up, and he isn’t yelling or grabbing at her again. But her heart doesn’t slow down, and her body won’t stop shaking. Because it isn’t okay and she isn’t safe, she’s alone. She has no idea what is going to happen to her, where she will end up and it scares the hell out of her.

"Do you know Dr. Will?” He asks her softly.

Feline blinks, a little startled by the question. She nods hesitantly, unsure why he’s asking.

“He told me he had this really brave young patient earlier, is that you?”

She nods again, slower this time. A small smile tugs at the corner of her lips. The panic doesn’t vanish, but something inside her softens. If Will said that to him, if Will trusts this man, then maybe he’s okay.

Connor tilts his head a little and lowers his voice like he’s about to share a secret. “Between you and me… I think Dr. Will’s a little scared of stitches. You might be braver than he is.”

Feline’s smile twitches a little wider, and she looks down. Her voice is soft, barely a whisper, but she says, “Like his brother.”

That catches Connor slightly off guard, but it makes him smile too. “Exactly like his brother.”

There’s a pause. A gentle quiet settles between them. Connor notes that Feline is no longer panicking. She is still shivering though but he suspects that it is from the cold hospital air and not fear anymore.

He looks down the hall to Feline’s room for a second before looking back at her. “you ready to go back to your room?”

Feline nods and walks back to her room slowly, Connor following behind. Every movement hurts. Even after they had given her some painkillers, running had been a bad idea. She climbs back onto her bed with a bit of trouble and pain, but she manages to do it without Connor's help. She clutches Pelle close to her chest and crawls under the warm blankets. Connor picks up the chair Hailey sat in before and places it by the door to give Feline some space.

Jay helped close off the crime scene first before he could go to the hospital. Once that was done he packed up most of Feline’s stuff in one bag and took it with him. By the time he finally arrived, Feline was already asleep, and he and Hailey decided to go find some breakfast and coffee.

“You wanna eat here or should we head back directly?” Jay asks Hailey once their order is ready.

"I think we should head back. I don’t want her to be alone when she wakes up."

"Mmh, yeah," Jay mumbles while swallowing the bite he had already taken from his croissant. "That's a good idea."

Hailey chuckles at his antics, and they fell into a comfortable silence as they walked side by side back to the ED. Jay continued to eat his croissant as Hailey sipped her coffee.

"Do you know if they contacted any of her family yet?" Jay suddenly asks.

“No idea," Hailey replies. "Will said that he was gonna look for her mother. They probably contacted DCFS though, seeing that we’re suspecting abuse.”

Jay nods in understanding. "Then I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Hailey sighs. “Yeah, I guess.” They’re silent for another moment before Hailey starts talking again. “You know when I told her about your fear of needles, she…”

“You did what?!” Jay teases. “That’s a secret.”

“No, it isn’t.” Hailey jabs back. “Besides, Will had to stitch her arm up, she needed a little distraction. But even though he was literally poking her arm with a needle she still had this light in her eyes, this soft smile. What she has been through forces you to grow up so fast, but I could still see that little girl inside her, the one that just wants to be loved.”

Jay’s teasing fades, and he takes a breath, nodding slowly. “She’s strong. I can’t believe she’s only nine.”

“She is.” Hailey agrees. “doesn’t mean she should have been through so much.”

"Nobody should," Jay says. "But we're here for her. We'll do whatever we can to give her a safe place."

He hopes they can, for all three of them. He knows this case opens some old wounds for his partner. But he will be there for her. Like he always is. He promised himself that a long time ago, even when the case hurts him too.

The rest of their walk is silent, the thought of Feline lingering in their minds. When they reach Feline's room, they find her already awake. She is huddled at the top of her bed, focused on her trauma bear. Conner is sitting on the plastic chair at the door when they walk in. He stands up as soon as they are inside.

"She tried to run but bumped into me.” He starts. ”She was a little shaken, but I think she’s mostly okay now. I didn’t want her to be alone, though.”

Hailey sets the coffee down, crossing to Feline slowly. “Hey,” she says softly, kneeling beside the bed. “You’re safe. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up.”

Jay lingers near the door, visibly unsettled that he wasn’t there, that she had panicked. He looks up at Connor, “Thanks,” Jay says quietly.

Connor nods, then turns to leave, letting them take over. He glances back at Feline. She’s still watching him, not afraid anymore, just unsure. He gives her a small wave before he slips out the door.

Jay sets Feline’s bag and their breakfast down at the foot of the bed. He opens up the bag and pulls out some pajamas. He holds them up and says. “Feline, what do you say about some clean clothes?”

Feline looks up at him from where she is leaning against Hailey’s side, who has joined her on the bed. She nods tentatively. Her pajamas from last night had become all bloody from the beating and the gunshot wound.

“I’ll watch the door,” Jay says as he hands the pajamas over to Hailey and turns back to the door, closing the curtain a little further so no one can see. He sits down in the chair that Connor just vacated and turns towards the door.

The girls move as quickly as possible, but each movement draws a hitch or soft gasp from Feline. The bruises are more set now, a dark purple covering her abdomen. Hailey has to blink the tears away when she sees them.

Feline stays quiet, but her eyes flicker over to Jay a few times. He doesn’t peek, just keeps looking at his hands, desperately wishing he could take all her pain away as every sound from Feline twists his stomach a little further.

When they are done, Hailey helps Feline sit back against the bed again. She pulls up the blanket over the girl's legs and rubs one of them softly. “you did great, sweetie.”

That is Jay's sign that he can turn back around. He stands up and opens the paper bag with their breakfast. He pulls out a small fruit cup, a muffin, and a box of apple juice and sets them on the tray in front of Feline. “You don’t have to eat it all, we just didn’t know what you liked, okay?”

Feline nods and hesitantly reaches for the cup of fruit. She hands it to Hailey who has sat down on the side of her bed with a question in her eyes.

“You want me to open it?”

Feline nods again and smiles as she is handed back the open cup of fruit. She eats slowly and quietly. Jay and Hailey don't mind, they just fill the silence with their friendly chatter, reveling in every smile they get out of Feline every time they tease the other.

When Hailey and Jay are both done with their food and coffee and Feline has eaten most of the fruit and is now sipping her juice box, their little bubble is interrupted by Will walking in. "Hi, Uhm, I don't know if this is a bad moment," He begins. "but, Uh, Jay, can I talk to you for a moment?" Will seems nervous, and both detectives pick up on it. They ignore it for the time being and look at each other for a moment, Jay asking if it is okay for him to leave and Hailey responding that he can, without saying actual words. 

He stands up and follows his brother to a small room with a table, a place they often use to discuss a diagnosis with the patient's family. They sit down across from each other. Will still looks nervous. He is not making eye contact and seems to struggle with where to place his hands. It worries Jay that there might be something seriously wrong with Feline.

"So, uh, I found Feline's history. Her full name is Feline Janiya Johnson," Will says. He wants to begin with the facts and tell the shocking news later. "Her mother died four years ago in a car accident, custody was then assigned over to Tate Brown"

Jay nods slowly, jaw tight. “That is the guy we found.” he clarifies. “So, what happens to her now? Does she have any family left or is she going into the system?”

“I’m assuming Tate was her stepfather, at least he wasn’t listed on her birth certificate. She still has a father.” Will tells him. He wants to continue but Jay cuts him off.

“Have you contacted him yet?” Jay asks impatiently.

"Gosh, Jay. I know you are worried about her, but let me finish, okay." Will says while he pinches his nose. "No, we haven't contacted him. I don’t think he even knows that he has a daughter.” Jay pulls a really confused face then, one Will would laugh at if he wasn’t so damn nervous to say this out loud.

“What makes you think that?” Jay asks carefully, a little afraid of the answer. Will is acting really weird.

“Because it’s you, Jay. You’re listed as her birth father.”

It seems like the world stops spinning right there for Jay. He can't find anything to say. He's had a daughter for almost ten years that he didn't know about? A little girl who needed her father more than anyone else. But didn't even know his name.

Will sees the shock on his brother's face as soon as the words are out of his mouth. He stands up and moves to the chair beside him. "Hey, Jay. Look at me," he says calmly while he takes his hands. "It's gonna be okay. You hear me? You can't change the past nine years, but you can be there for her now. I will help you every step of the way, and I'm sure Hailey and the rest of your team will too."

His brother doesn't respond to his words. It doesn't even seem like Jay hears them. He only stares at their combined hands. "H-How?" is the only thing he can bring out.

Will huffs a quiet breath, almost a laugh. “C’mon, Jay. You know how babies are made. You don’t need your big doctor brother for that.”

Jay shoots him a dry look and Will’s expression softens. “From what you’ve told me you were going through a pretty tough time back then. You’d just come back from Afghanistan, you did things you can’t remember.”

"like making a baby with a complete stranger," Jay huffs out. "Why didn't she tell me, Will? Why didn't she tell me I have a daughter?" 

“She didn’t know how, Jay,” Will says softly. “She knew your name, that was it. She had no phone number, no address, nothing. But it was enough to put you down on Feline’s birth record.”

Jay nods slowly. He’s still trying to understand what is happening right now. This morning he woke up like any other day, and now he suddenly has a nine-year-old daughter. “So, what happens next?”

Will squeezes his hands and stands up again, leaning against the table. “DCFS wants to do a DNA test to confirm your relation. If you’re ready, I can call them in here now. They just need a cheek swap, it’ll only take a second.”

Jay gives the okay, and Will calls in another person. The swap is too quick and too easy for something that could be so life-changing. Before he realizes his DNA is on its way to a lab, where it will be compared to hers.

“Feline will be admitted upstairs soon,” Will says as he prepares to leave the room. “Go be with her. We won’t know the results until tomorrow.”

Jay does as he is told and returns to Feline’s room. Feline is sitting upright on her bed with one of the books he packed for her laid out in front of her, quietly reading. She looks up when he opens the door, tension returning to her shoulders. But when she sees that it is just him, she quickly relaxes and returns to her book.

Hailey is still sitting in the chair next to the bed, about to fall asleep before he enters. She sits back upright when she sees Jay and shoots him a questioning look.

Jay shakes his head and sits at the foot of the bed. ‘Not now,’ He mouths to her.

Hailey tries to read his face, but that doesn’t get her anywhere today. Jay’s expression is a weird combination of emotions, that she can’t figure out. She gives him a silent nod instead. Giving him some space to process what Will must have just told him. She trusts that he will tell her if and when he’s ready.

A nurse comes in to transfer Feline upstairs a little later. Hailey follows them through the halls as Jay helps push the bed. Feline lights up at the special experience of riding through the hospital in a bed. She looks around her curiously. Pelle clutched closed but otherwise relaxed. She is immediately drawn to all the art on the walls as they enter the PEDS ward. Her eyes fill with wonder as she looks at all the colors and animals.

The nurse leads them to one of the rooms and helps F get settled. She is done pretty quickly and leaves the three of them alone again. This room is a lot more spacious than the one in the ED. It’s clearly built for kids to stay in for multiple days. There is more space, a window, a closet, a TV, and even a bathroom that is shared with the adjoining room. There is also more than one chair in this room, so both Hailey and Jay can sit down at Feline’s bedside.

Once they are settled again, Jay steps out to pick up some lunch for all of them. He walks over to a little bakery close to the hospital. He needs the fresh air to get his thoughts in order. It never occurred to him that his reckless behavior after the army could have these kinds of consequences, although it makes perfect sense now.

He has spent the last ten years rebuilding his life without knowing that he had a daughter. Although it isn’t confirmed yet that she is biologically his, Jay is pretty sure about what the test results will say tomorrow. When he looked at her earlier after talking to Will, he wondered how he hadn’t seen it before. His eyes looked right back at him, the freckles, the hint of red in her light brown hair. It’s all his, he can’t even think of something about her that must have come from her mother.

They have a quiet lunch when Jay comes back with the food. Feline is distracted by the TV while she munches on her muffin. Jay and Hailey quietly eat while watching her.

Hailey’s phone rings right after they are done and she steps out into the hallway to pick up. Jay cleans up their mess in the room while she makes the call. When Hailey is done she waves for Jay at the door and he walks over to her.

“That was Vanessa,” She starts. “They are stuck on the case. They want Feline’s statement as soon as possible.”

Jay nods and runs a hand through his hair. He looks over at Feline comfortably lying on her bed and sighs. “No better time than now, right?” He says.

Hailey agrees and they step over to Feline. Jay pauses the TV and Feline looks at them immediately. She clocks the heavy atmosphere and crawls in on herself.

The two of them sit down on the edge of her bed, Hailey next to Feline and Jay at her feet. Hailey softly pulls her into her side and says. “It’s okay Feline, you’re not in trouble. We just want to talk with you about something.”

Feline’s posture relaxes a bit at her words but she still looks a bit worried.

Hailey sighs deeply and starts the conversation, “Remember how we are both police officers?” Feline nods slowly, not knowing where this is going yet. “Well, a few of our colleagues are still looking for the person that hurt you and Tate this morning.” Hailey continues, “But they are a little stuck on where to find them. It would really help them if you could tell us what happened.” She stops then, giving Feline a moment to process. She feels the girl make herself smaller and hide her face in her neck. She rubs one of her hands up and down her arm to try and comfort her.

Jay starts rubbing circles on one of her ankles, silently telling her that he is there for her. “I know it is scary to talk about, just like nightmares. But every time I talked about one of my nightmares with Hailey or my brother, it made me feel a little better after.” Feline looks up at him with a questioning look after he says that. “What? You think I don’t get nightmares?” He teases, slightly tickling her foot. It makes her smile a little before he continues. “I was in the army a long time ago. I saw some pretty horrible stuff then, just like you did today. At first, I didn’t want to talk about it, but then I did, and all that stuff started bothering me a little less. So maybe you should give it a try, and see if it works for you too.”

It stays quiet for a long time after that. But Hailey and Jay keep their mouths shut, knowing that they shouldn’t push any harder and give her time to form her words. Eventually, after almost ten minutes of silence, Feline starts to whisper, just hard enough for Jay to hear too.

“I-I was in the kitchen, c-cleaning. Someone was at the door and T-Tate went to open it. The man at the door came into the living room. T-Tate told him to leave, but he just started screaming at him.”

“Okay, do you know the man’s name? do you remember what he said?” Hailey asks, hoping to get as many details as she can. So they won’t have to do this again.

“He called him L-Luc. He said that Tate didn’t follow the rules, t-that…” She stops there, looking up at Jay with questioning eyes, unsure if she should continue.

“It’s okay, you can tell us.” He says, seeing the hesitation on her face.

“Luc said that he k-killed his brother, that he would make him pay. He had a g-gun and shot him after that, t-twice.” Feline lets out a small sob then. Clearly struggling with what comes next. “I-I tried to run upstairs, but h-he s-shot me t-too, and I fell a-asleep. When I w-woke up, I hid in my room, and then you came.”

“That’s good, Feline. You did so good.” Hailey says while hugging the now softly crying girl tightly.

They stay like that for a few long minutes. Feline tucked into Hailey’s side, while Jay softly rubs her ankle. Feline calms down slowly and enjoys the physical comfort. Eventually, Jay squeezes her ankle and Feline looks up at him. “I’m gonna go and help our friends look for Luc, okay?” He waits for Feline to nod and then says. “You’re really brave, sweetheart. I’ll see you again soon.”

Hailey lets Feline go for a second and follows Jay to the door. “Thank you for opening up about your nightmares to her, I think it really helped.” She says while softly reaching out for his arm.

“Yeah uh… no problem. I’d do anything for her.” He says as he looks back at Feline, who is watching them from her bed. He gives her a small wave and looks back at Hailey.

“So much for not getting attached, huh?” Hailey says with a sigh and a small smile on her lips.

Jay huffs out a quiet laugh. “She just makes it impossible,” He says fondly. There is a beat of silent understanding between them before Jay moves on. “I’ll come say goodnight later, be your chauffeur home too.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Hailey says before she returns to Feline. She settles down next to the girl again and they continue watching TV together.

Jay steps out the door and looks back at the two of them once before he leaves the hospital and drives to the district.

Chapter Text

The rest of the afternoon goes by pretty easily. A nurse comes by to take some blood for testing and they make an ultrasound of Feline’s abdomen to check for internal bleeding, but everything looks fine. Feline is a champ through it all. She squeezes Hailey’s hand occasionally and lets out a few whimpers, but she lets the nurse do her work. She even lets out a squeal and a small laugh as the cold gell for the ultrasound touches her stomach. The nurse also brings Feline to the x-ray for her wrist and then to the plaster room when the photo shows a break.

The time they have left, Hailey and Feline spend together drawing, watching TV, and sleeping. Before they know it it’s already time for dinner and they get served a plate of hospital food. Jay texts that he is on his way back while they are eating, having left the district a little earlier than the rest to pick up Hailey before visiting hours are over. He walks into the room just as a nurse is leaving with the dishes and gives her a quick greeting.

Feline looks up at the sound of his voice, a small smile appearing on her face. She is comfortably lying under the covers of the bed, already getting a bit sleepy. She waves shyly at him when his eyes cast onto hers.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says fondly as he pats her legs softly and sits down in a chair.

“Perfect timing, Halstead,” Hailey says as she lays the magazine that she was reading to the side.

Jay smirks. “Always.”

“If it gets you out of doing more paperwork, sure.”

Jay acts like he’s offended but he knows she’s right. He looks at Feline and asks. “Can you believe her?!” It gets a small laugh out of her as she shakes her head. “Are you okay, after these last few hours with her alone? She wasn’t mean to you or anything?” Feline shakes her head again and Jay rolls his eyes in fake disbelief.

“So, it's just me then?” he asks, now looking at Hailey.

“Of course.” is the only thing Hailey says.

Jay chuckles under his breath, but as the laughter fades, the weight of the evening creeps back in. He glances at the clock on the wall and then back at Hailey, his smile softening.

“Visiting hours are almost up,” he says, his voice a little gentler now.

Hailey pushes herself up from her chair with a reluctant sigh. “Yeah… we have to head out soon, kiddo.”

Jay steps a little closer to Feline’s bed, his teasing completely gone now, replaced by something steadier, reassuring. “But we’ll be back first thing tomorrow, alright?”

Feline nods, trying to act tough. But Jay can see the way her eyes fill with tears and how she clutches the duvet a little tighter to her chin. He shares a look with Hailey, it’s clear she noticed it too. He crouches down beside her bed, resting his arms on her mattress, softly covering one of her hands with his own.

“It’s okay to be scared, sweetie.” He says softly. “Unfortunately the hospital doesn’t allow us to stay during the night, but there are all these awesome nurses here that will keep an eye on you, make sure you’re okay. And we’ll be back first thing tomorrow, right after breakfast. I promise”

Feline’s gaze lingers on his, her small hand trembling slightly under his touch. Her uncertainty hangs in the air, and Jay can feel it. He lifts his hand from hers and holds out his pinky, giving her a soft smile.

Feline hesitates, her brow furrowing, but after a moment she slowly hooks her pinky around his.

When they pull back she still looks a little unsure. Jay looks at her small form wrapped tightly in the blankets and gets an idea. He stands up and pulls off his sweater, offering it to Feline. “It gets cold in here at night,” he says, not making a big deal out of the intimate gesture.

Feline shyly reaches out for the piece of clothing and tucks it close. Jay steps back from her side to let Hailey have her turn. She steps closer and brushes a strand of hair out of Feline’s face. “Goodnight, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She murmurs.

Hailey is about to stand up again when Feline quietly asks. “W-where do I go now?”

Hailey stays next to her and Jay sits down at her feet, softly reaching out. He feels his chest tighten at her question, at the fear behind it. He shares a look with Hailey, but it’s clear she doesn’t know either. He takes a moment to think about what he’ll tell her. She deserves the truth but he needs to be careful with his words.

“They’re… they’re trying to find your father,” he says softly, his voice steady but gentle. “If they find him… you’ll probably go live with him.”

“I… I don’t have one,” Feline whispers, a tear falling down her cheek.

Hailey reaches out and wipes the tear away. “You do, sweetie. Everyone does, even if you might not know him.”

Feline nods silently, her eyes heavy with exhaustion, and buries her face into the pillow. She’s done talking, done trying to make sense of it all.

Hailey stands up first, carefully tucking the blanket around Feline’s shoulders. Her hand lingers for a moment, brushing Feline’s hair back again before she speaks softly “Goodnight, sweetie.”

Jay follows her, straightening the blanket with a tender touch. His voice is just above a whisper. “Try to rest, okay?”

Feline doesn’t respond, but her breath evens out a little, like a small sign she’s heard them.

They share a glance, quiet, and understanding. Jay gives a small nod, his hand resting briefly on Hailey’s back before they both slip quietly out of the room.

As soon as the door shuts behind them, the quiet of the room wraps around Feline like a heavy, suffocating blanket. The sound of their footsteps fades, and the tears start rolling

For a moment, Feline just stares at the closed door, hoping it’ll open again. But the silence stretches, and she knows they’re gone.

She’s alone again, only now in a hospital bed instead. She turns away from the door and looks at the city lights that filter through the curtains. She can hear the rain against the window and clutches Pelle close. She sniffles into the sweater. It smells different, like him. And it makes her feel a little less alone, like a part of him is still here, with her. The tears keep rolling down her face, but she is too tired to fight them.

Jay and Hailey walk to the elevator with a heavy heart. The silence between them is palpable. Neither of them wanted to leave Feline behind, especially in such a vulnerable state. But they had to listen to hospital policy. Jay just hopes that he can take her home tomorrow and never leave her alone ever again.

Hailey bumps her elbow into Jay’s side while they are waiting for the elevator. “You cold, big guy?” she teases after noticing the goosebumps on Jay’s arms, now that he’s only wearing his shirt.

“ no, ” Jay says, looking straight ahead at the elevator doors.

“You sure?”

Jay’s posture deflates from where he has his arms crossed over his chest to turn towards Hailey. “She needed it more than I do. My jacket is in the car, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will,” She snickers at how fast she got him to fold and pats his arm softly. “But since when do children turn you into such a big softie?”

Since they are my own , Jay thinks, but he shouldn’t drop that bomb on Hailey now. So he says. “She’s just special.”

It doesn’t take long before they are walking through Jay’s apartment door. He grabs two beers from the fridge and hands one to Hailey before sitting down. He kicks off his shoes and stretches out on the couch. Hailey mirrors him and pulls up her legs under her, sitting sideways facing him. They stay silent for a while, the soft murmur of whatever is on TV mixing with the rain outside the only thing between them.

“Her father the thing you talked to Will about this morning?” Hailey eventually asks, breaking the silence.

Jay takes a sip of his beer bottle and nods softly. He fidgets with the edge of the label for a while before he looks up at her. The same expression from this morning returned to his face. The one with so many emotions that she can’t read him. She looks back at him with a soft smile, encouraging him to tell her what is on his mind. Jay sighs deeply and throws his head back against the couch, looking at the ceiling.

“They think it’s me,” he says softly.

“Wait… What?!” Hailey asks confused. “Jay, what are you talking about?”

Jay shifts his head to look at her, a small smile displayed on his lips. “I’m listed as her birth father. They wanted a DNA test to confirm, results will be in tomorrow.”

“Okay, wow,” Hailey says, still a little perplexed. “Do you think that you…”

Jay’s smile grows. “I mean, have you looked at us?!” he teases.

She lets out a soft chuckle and gives in. “Okay, yeah. Fair point.”

They stay silent for another moment, gazes returning to the TV, but neither really follows what is going on. Hailey let the news sink in for a moment. She had noticed the similarities between them already, but she never would have thought that this might be possible.

“Did you know?” She eventually breaks the silence again. She can’t imagine that he did, but she has to know for sure.

“No, I didn’t,” Jay says, swallowing thickly. “It probably was a one-night stand with her mother after I came home from Afghanistan, all she had was my name.”

“What are you going to do if…”

“The test is positive,” He finishes for her. “Take her in. Make sure nobody ever lays a hand on her again.”

Hailey nods and sighs. “It won’t be easy.”

“I know, but my heart won’t leave me any other choice. It isn’t even confirmed yet, but I already feel like it’s my job to protect her.” His voice is thick, and heavy with emotion. “I can’t let her down more than I already have.”

Hailey can see the tears welling in his eyes and moves closer, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Jay, you didn’t know, this is not your fault.”

“I know,” He says a little broken. The tears have started rolling and he wipes them away desperately. “But it feels like it is. I should have been there for her after her mother died. Not leave her with that… that monster.”

Jay is honestly crying now and Hailey pulls him into her arms. She rubs his back softly and says. “You can’t change the past, Jay. We both know that. All you can do is be there for her from now on. And from what I’ve seen today, you’re pretty good at that.”

“Thank you,” Jay says when they ultimately pull apart and sit back on the couch. They are sitting closer than before but neither seems to mind.

“Always,” Hailey reassures before they enjoy the rest of the night with shitty TV and beer.

Hailey eventually sleeps in his guest room. It’s probably easier anyway, seeing that they will visit Feline together again in the morning. They don’t even have to discuss it, it’s like an unspoken agreement that she will stay.

Jay wakes first, or rather he never really fell asleep. He gets sick of the tossing and turning around six a.m. and gets up, walking into the kitchen to start the coffee. When it is softly brewing, he leans against the counter next to the machine and stares out into the living room.

The same thoughts that have kept him up all night keep running through his head. She had been out there, living through hell, alone, and he hadn’t known. Not her name. Not her face. Not that she even existed. He’d found her by chance, only after everything had already gone to shit. He feels like a failure, even though he knows he couldn’t have known.

And now he does know about her, and she’s probably going to live with him. This girl who barely knows him, who doesn’t trust him, who is still flinching from shadows he hadn’t put there but couldn’t erase. He doesn’t know what she needs. He doesn’t know what her favorite food is or what she finds disgusting. He doesn’t know her favorite color, animal, or book. He doesn’t know if she likes sports, or if she plays one. He doesn’t know what helps her sleep at night. He doesn’t know if she likes hugs and cuddles or if they make her flinch because of her past. He doesn’t know her routines, her habits or her tells, not like he knows Hailey’s. But he’s determined to learn all of it, to learn all of her. So he can be the father she deserves.

A sleepy Hailey appearing from the guest room breaks him from his thoughts. “Do I smell coffee?” she asks as she joins him in the kitchen.

“Mhm, you’re right on time,” Jay mutters as he turns around and pours them both a cup.

They sit down at the table, coffee cups in hand, sleep still filling their eyes. “How did you sleep?” Hailey asks him after a beat of silence.

Jay groans and says. “Feels like I didn’t, maybe caught a few minutes here and there. You?”

“Not much better,” Hailey answers. She takes a sip of her coffee and looks back at the guest room door. “Guess you won’t have a room for me to crash in much longer.”

Jay’s mug freezes midway to his mouth and panic appears in his eyes. He hadn’t thought about that yet. He had been so caught up in the quilt and worry, that he hadn’t thought of everything Feline would need physically, like a bed, a desk, clothes, books, school, and maybe even a sitter. One thing after the other shoots through his head. His knuckles turn white around his cup and his gaze becomes unfocused.

Hailey reaches out and lowers his hands back to the table. Jay lets go of the cup and Hailey squeezes both his hands in hers. “I… I didn’t, I haven’t thought…” Jay struggles with formulating a full sentence, but Hailey understands him anyway.

“Jay, it’s okay. Look at me. Slow down, and take a breath.” She waits for him to breathe and looks him in the eyes. “You’ve got a spare room, there’s a bed. You packed her a few clothes. That is all she needs for now, you’ve got time to figure out the rest. We’ve got time to figure out the rest, together.”

Jay nods slowly and returns to drinking his coffee.

It’s still a few more hours before the hospital allows visitors, and the time feels like it’s going in slow motion. They have a quick breakfast and Jay leaves to take a shower, washing off the weight of the last day. Hailey starts to formulate a plan to help him with taking in Feline. She was quick to reassure him that everything would be alright this morning. But she also understands his worry and the need for her to have her own space, not just a guest room. She ropes in the rest of the team, asking them to reassign the case and help her out today. She also texts Will and tells him about the plan, asking him to keep her up-to-date with the DCFS status.

When Jay reemerges from his shower, he calls Voight and fills him in on the situation. Voight tells him to take off as much time as he needs, even if the test turns out negative.

They finally step into the hospital the minute visitors are allowed. As soon as they arrive on the right floor, a nurse approaches them with a concerned expression on her face.

“Excuse me, you two are here for Feline Johnson, right?” She asks.

Jay nods and says. “Yeah, we’re the police officers that found her yesterday.”

The nurse’s expression softens with recognition. “Right. Uhm… She had a bit of a rough night. She has been awake for most of it. When she did sleep we think she might have had a nightmare. She didn’t panic, just… shut down. We gave her space, but she hasn’t let anyone in.”

Jay and Hailey give the nurse a quiet nod. “Thank you,” Hailey says before they move on towards her door. Honestly, they had expected Feline to have a hard time last night. But it still hurt to hear the confirmation.

When they enter her room, they can see Feline sitting up in her bed. She has put Jay’s sweater over her small frame and is looking out the window. She doesn’t react to them and stays seated in a fetal position. Hailey sits down in one of the chairs at her bedside, and J chooses to sit on the foot of her bed. He feels the urge to reach out to her, but resists, not wanting to scare her.

“Feline,” he says gently instead.

Her head snaps away from the window and locks onto his face. He can already see the tears forming in her eyes. Her gaze switches from him to Hailey for a moment and then back. She squeezes her eyes shut, her breathing picks up and she starts to tremble.

“It’s okay, we’re here now,” Hailey says softly.

Feline opens her eyes again and the dam breaks. The tears start rolling down her face and Feline sniffles quietly. She tries to wipe her cheeks dry, but the tears don’t stop.

J shifts on the bed, carefully sitting down next to her. He gives her enough time to pull away if she wants to but she doesn’t. He softly drapes one of his arms around her shoulder and pulls her into his side. Feline tenses for a moment, but Jay softly rubs her arm and she relaxes again.

“It’s okay, we’re here now. You’re not alone,” he whispers soothingly into her hair as he rests his head on top of hers. She clutches his shirt tightly and sinks into his side completely. Jay moves his other arm around her too and keeps comforting her.

Hailey stays on the side, quietly watching their moment. She gives Jay a look that says, see, you’ve got this. And smiles when he rolls his eyes at her. The moment is broken by the sound of a notification and Hailey pulls out her phone.

“I’m sorry, the team needs me.” She says as she stands up.

Jay nods and watches as Hailey softly brushes Feline's leg.

“I have to go, sweetie. But Jay will stay with you, okay? I’ll see you later.”

Feline stays silent but nods against Jay’s chest and gives her a small wave with her casted arm.

Hailey pulls back and glances over at Jay. “You text me if you need anything, okay?” She says as she pats his leg shortly and moves out of the room. She looks back at them one more time and waves before she steps out of sight. It’s time to put her plan into gears.

Jay expects Feline to move away from him once she has calmed down and Hailey is gone, but she doesn’t. He does loosen his grip on her a bit, only keeping one arm loosely around her shoulders, making sure she knows she can pull away if she wants to.

He looks over at the untouched breakfast the nurses gave Feline this morning. There is a bit of oatmeal, a sliced banana, a cup of apple sauce, and apple juice. He carefully reaches out, making sure he doesn’t jostle Feline too much, and moves the tray over the bed. He looks over at Feline and asks. “Do you want some?” Feline eyes the different foods on the tray but shakes her head. “Can I have some of your banana then?” Jay asks, already reaching out to the small bowl. Feline shrugs and watches as Jay puts one of the slices in his mouth. “Mhh, that’s good. Wasn’t a brown banana yet, for sure.”

He takes another piece of banana and starts chatting to Feline while slowly eating. It’s nothing important, nothing big just something to fill the silence and distract Feline. He doesn’t expect her to respond, doesn’t even look at her while he speaks. Just keeps his voice soft and steady, more like background noise than conversation.

Feline keeps watching him, following his hand every time it brings another piece to his mouth. At one point he offers her a piece silently. He just holds it out to her while he looks the other way and keeps talking. She accepts it and puts it in her mouth. From there on they finish the bowl together, Jay offering her a piece too every time he takes one.

When the banana bowl is empty, Feline has gotten the hang of eating and still feels quite hungry. She looks up at Jay for a moment, taking in his kind soft smile. He has finished his story by now and is quietly looking back at her. It doesn’t make her uncomfortable like when Tate used to stare at her, but it does make her feel a little shy. She looks away again with a soft blush on her cheeks and stares at the rest of the breakfast. Feline timidly reaches out and grabs the apple sauce. She tries to open the sealed lid but without success. She doesn’t have enough strength to pull away the thin foil with one of her hands in a cast and gives up.

Jay sees her struggle and offers out his hand. “Can I help?” he asks. Feline hands him the cup and watches as he opens it for her. When he is done he grabs a spoon for her and hands back the apple sauce.

They sit back against the headboard in silence for a while, until Jay can’t handle it anymore and puts on the TV. Jay also put the straw in the small carton of apple juice for her and placed it in front of her in case she wanted some. She drinks a few sips from in when she is done with the apple sauce and then totally relaxes back against the bed while she watches the TV.

Jay tries to focus on the program as well, but he keeps watching her more than the screen. After a while, Feline falls asleep against his side. He can feel her weight press into him more. Jay moves his arm back around her small form protectively, softly pulling her even closer. Feline doesn’t steer, she’s finally getting the rest she needed so badly last night.

When he looks at her against his side, Jay can feel the exhaustion from his sleepless night come in too. He slides down on the bed a bit and gently rests his head on top of hers. It doesn’t take long before he is fast asleep too.

It feels like any other day as Will walks through the halls of the hospital. Except today he isn’t on shift, he’s here for Jay. DCFS had finally called him about the test results about half an hour ago and now he’s about to bring news that will change his brother's life. For the better hopefully, it will be for her at least. And he hopes it will be for Jay too, even though it won’t be easy.

Will knocks on the door softly before he enters, but he gets no response. He pushes the door open gently and peaks inside. It’s totally quiet inside except for the soft chatter coming from the TV. His eyes catch onto them immediately, sitting together on the bed. Will freezes in the doorway and watches them for a moment.

They’re both asleep. Feline tucked into Jay’s side, her head resting on his chest, one of her hands clutched onto his shirt. She’s drowning is a sweater that Will knows belonged to Jay, he saw his brother wearing it yesterday. She doesn’t look scared or tense at all anymore. Instead, she seems more like the other children Will sees in the hospital, content and safe as long as they are in their father’s arms.

Jay doesn’t look much different. Will knows he likely stayed up the whole night worrying about her and now he’s finally at peace. Now that she’s safe in his arms he can finally rest. His arm is curled around her protectively, his head resting gently on top of hers. A soft snore escaping his mouth every now and then.

Will pulls out his phone and walks a little further into the room. He snaps a picture of the two of them and sends it to Hailey, then adds a small caption.

    DNA agrees, she’s a Halstead.

It doesn’t take long before he gets a response.

Glad the paperwork finally caught up with reality.

Then a photo pops up on Will’s screen. He can see one of Jay’s walls now coated in a fresh layer of soft purple paint. Kevin is standing on the side of the picture, a purple streak covering his cheek. But there’s a big smile on his face and he’s giving a thumbs up with the brush still in his hand.

Project is going well, any idea when they’ll come home?

    Hard to say. If everything is still clear on the echo today, she’ll be released this afternoon.

    If not, she might have to stay another night.

We’ll try to get it all done today then. Text me when you know more.

    I Will.

He puts his phone away again and quietly approaches his brother’s side. Will gently wakes him up, making sure Feline stays asleep a little longer.

Jay opens his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. His gaze settles on Will and he speaks grogily. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Will says softly as he sits down on the edge of the bed. “I come bearing good news. Test results are back.”

“Yeah?” Jay asks hopefully and looks down at Feline for a moment.

Will smiles at them and whispers. “You’re officially a dad, brother. Congratulations.”

Chapter Text

Jay has to go arrange all the formalities with DCFS, but he doesn’t want Feline to get scared when she wakes up like yesterday. So, he wakes her up and tells her that he has to step out for a little while, but that Will will stay with her. Feline agrees easily and goes back to sleep.

Once he steps out of the conference room an hour and a half later, totally drained from all the paperwork and questions, Jay immediately returns to Feline’s room. He is allowed to tell her the news now, he should even. It makes him feel all kinds of scared inside. He has no idea what he should say to her and wonders if Will felt the same when he had to tell him yesterday. He thinks his brother did it well though, and decides he’ll take the same approach, start with the facts then reveal it’s him. Jay doesn’t know how Feline will react or if she’ll even understand what he’s saying. But he hopes that she is okay with it all, that she won’t resend him for not being there in the past, that she’ll want him as her dad.

“Mr. Halstead.”

Jay turns towards the voice and sees Feline’s doctor coming his way. She stands in front of him in a few short strikes.

“Good morning. I just talked with your brother, and he said that you are Feline’s legal guardian now. I would like to update you on her status.”

“yeah, uhm… of course. How is she doing?” Jay stammers out nervously. She makes it all feel so real suddenly by calling him her legal guardian, and he has to let the words sink in for a moment. It’s true though, he knows that. That sweet little girl is now his responsibility. It all feels a little surreal.

The doctor starts speaking again and it pulls Jay out of his thoughts. “I just finished another check on her. I did a second ultrasound on her stomach, and everything still looks fine. Her stitches also look good so she’ll be able to go home with you this afternoon.”

“Oh… uh, g-great. When… when will she be discharged exactly?”

“We’re working on the papers now.” She explains. “I’ll be with you in about two hours or so, then we’ll discuss further care at home. And then once you’ve signed the papers, she’s free to go.”

“That’s great, thank you,” Jay says and shakes her hand. Once the doctor is gone, He stands there for another moment. He looks over at Feline’s room down the hall and can feel the panic rising. It's all too real now, he’s the one that will take her home today, while two days ago he didn’t even know about her. He sits down in one of the random chairs scattered across the hall and has to take another minute before he can go in there.

Jay ends up calling Hailey, and tells her about the test results and that they’ll go home in a few hours. Before he can even tell her about the nerves of telling Feline now, she cuts him off with congratulations and all these kind words, how he’s going to be an amazing dad and that Feline deserves a father like him. She also tells him that he’s not alone, that she, Will and the rest of the team are all here for them.

He gets all flustered at her words. But after they have said goodbye, he feels a lot better and finally returns to Feline. Wondering how Hailey's voice and words can calm him so easily.

When Jay opens her door, he stands still and finds Will and Feline playing Uno together. He notices Feline's shy grin as she plays her next card.

“Oh, come on,” Will groans while he grabs two cards from the pile. “Why do you get all the good cards?”

Jay sees the way Feline’s smile grows and she shrugs her shoulders. He keeps watching the two of them a little longer, not announcing his presence yet. A big smile grows on his face as he watches his daughter and brother interact. He can hear Hailey’s words repeating in his head, You’ve got me, Will, and the rest of the team. You won’t have to do this alone. Jay feels some of the nerves slide from his shoulders. She’s right, of course she is. Will is already helping him with Feline, showing up for him, and for her. It settles a kind of calm in his chest that tells him that he can do this. He can tell her the truth, and he can be the father she deserves. Because she doesn’t just have a father now, she also has an uncle who already shows up for her, two more who’ll treat her just the same, a couple of aunts who’d drop anything for her, a cousin she can confide in and Hailey… who’s something harder to define, but somehow more than all of that.

Feline’s eyes shoot up to him after Jay lets out a deep sigh at the realization. Will looks up too, noticing her sudden change. Both their postures relax again once they realize it’s him. Jay walks further into the room and grabs the board at the end of the bed, overlooking their game.

“So, who’s winning?” He asks.

Will laughs softly before saying. “She is, of course. You know I’m no good at this.”

“Oh, I know.” Jay chuckles. “You remember that one time at the cabin when we made that bet you lost and you had to…”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Will interrupts and stands up from his chair. He’s ready to leave and tells Jay “I’m gonna grab a coffee, you want one?”

“Yes, please,” Jay says. And when Will is almost out the door he adds a hurried. “Love you, bro.”

Will turns around and rolls his eyes, but before he really leaves he says. “Love you too.”

Jay turns back around to Feline, who has watched the whole interaction with a smile on her face. He sits down on the edge of the bed and starts cleaning up the game.

Feline watches his every move and stays quiet for a little while, then she suddenly asks softly. “What did he have to do?”

Jay looks up a bit confused, not knowing what she means.

“When he lost the bet.” She clarifies.

“He had to jump into the cold lake…” Jay tells her, he moves a little closer, then whispers. “Naked.” He sits back again immediately and watches the shock on Feline’s face which slowly turns into a small grin.

Jay finishes putting away the game and then stares at his hands in his lap. Feline waits him out patiently, unsure of what is going to happen. Jay decides he can better get it over with, and looks up at her.

“Remember that I told you that they are looking for your dad?”

Feline looks up at him surprised and slowly nods, not knowing where this is going.

“Well, uh… they found him.” Jay begins. “He… he didn’t know about you, just like you don’t know him. But he… he wants to be there for you now.” Then he is silent for another moment, looking into Feline’s eyes and swallowing thickly.

“ I really want to be there for you Feline,” he starts softly and then it’s like he can’t stop the rest. “Because I’m… I’m your dad and I’m so glad I found you.”

The desperation in his voice is clear in the last part of his sentence and Jay has to wipe a tear from his cheek as he watches Feline’s reaction. Her eyes are wide as she stares at him, the words not registering in her head yet. Slowly he can see her eyes fill with tears too and her hand trembles when she tries to wipe them away. Her breaths become shorter and one hitches in her chest. Jay doesn’t know if she is relieved or scared and softly reaches out to her ankle.

“Is… is that okay? That I’m your dad?”

Feline nods as she lets the tears fall and another sob gets caught in her chest. A few more tears escape Jay’s eyes as he sees her reaction. Her sobs get worse after the first one and he just wants to hold her through them. So, he opens his arms for her, initiating a hug.

“Come here, honey,” He says, his voice thick with emotion. He’s about a second away from starting to cry too. Feline stares at his arms for only a second before she hesitantly crawls into his arms. Jay wraps her in a protective bear hug and the floodgates open in both of them.

They cry it all out for a long moment. Jay can feel the wet spot in Feline's hair from his tears when he runs his hand through it, he can also feel the equally wet spot on his hoodie from her tears. But he doesn’t care about any of it because he finally has his daughter in his arms after almost a decade of not knowing her.

When her body-wrecking sobs have stopped, Feline shifts against Jay’s chest and looks up at him. Jay looks back at her curiously and gently moves a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You… you really didn’t know?”

“No. Feline, I swear I didn’t.” Jay says softly but in a serious tone. “If I’d known sooner, I promise I would have been there for you. It’s just… Your mom and I only knew each other for a little while. She had no way to tell me when she found out she was pregnant. But she had my name and she wrote it down when you were born. That’s how they know it’s me.”

Feline hangs onto every word he tells her, eager to know her father's story. It feels unreal to suddenly have one. Her mother had always avoided talking about him, brushing it off, or changing the subject. When they moved in with Tate, some kids had said he was her dad now, but Feline had never felt that way. He had never shown an interest in her, had never shown up for her. He was totally focused on her mother, she was just part of the package deal.

“You know, I’m really glad she did that.” Jay continues. He is still holding her close, absentmindedly rubbing her arm softly. “Because now I know that you’re my daughter and I get to be your dad. If… if you want me to, of course.”

Feline gaze goes up to Jay’s face again from where it has drifted to the strings of his hoodie. She searches his face for a moment, trying to figure out if he means it or not. All she finds is a reassuring smile and kind eyes that look a lot like hers. A smile grows on her face and she catches herself off guard, why is she so happy? She ducks her head down and tries to hide her face into his chest.

Jay hugs her tight and runs his hand through her hair again. “Take your time, I'm not going anywhere.”

As they pull up to Jay's apartment, Feline can't help but feel anxious and nervous. She doesn't know what to expect from living with him. Will it be like old times with her mother? or more like when she lived with Tate? She sure hopes it's the first. Jay seems like a nice guy so far, but she is scared he won’t stay that way. Tate had been nice to her mom in the beginning too.

Once they are parked Jay lifts Feline out of the car and picks up the bag he packed for her, slinging it over his shoulder. They walk into the building silently and get onto the elevator. Feline fidgets with the long sleeves of Jay’s sweater she’s wearing as the car rides up. When the doors open she follows Jay’s instructions to his apartment. Jay opens the door as Feline stands to the side. He motions for her to step in first, but Feline feels frozen in the hallway. She can't help but feel like she is intruding on his space. This is Jay's house, Jay's home. She doesn't belong here.

Jay crouches down to Feline’s height when he notices that she is frozen in place. “It’s okay if you’re scared. I know that this is a big change and that it’s all a lot to take in, it is for me at least. But I know that we’ll figure it out together though. Because we are a team now.” He tells her in a soft voice. “Or… maybe we are a duo? Seeing that there’s only two of us.”

That last part gets Feline to snort out a soft laugh and Jay offers her his hand.

“Come on, let’s go inside.”

Feline hesitantly grabs his hand and they walk inside together. Jay closes the door behind him and pulls off his jacket and shoes. Feline, on the other hand, stands still and watches his movements. Jay helps Feline after he is done and offers her his hand again. They walk further into the apartment and are surprised to find Hailey leaning against the kitchen counter. Feline stays at Jay’s side but she can’t help it when a big smile appears on her face.

“Hi, you two. Welcome home.” Hailey says as she puts her cup of tea to the side and comes over to them to give them both a hug. The hug with Jay is quick and familiar, the one with Feline lasts a little longer.

“Hi,” Feline whispers as she rests her chin on Hailey’s shoulder in their hug.

Once the hugs are over, Jay seems to finally find his voice again. “What… I didn’t… You…?” He stammers out, still too stunned to form an actual sentence.

“You said you wanted her to have her own space. We all wanted to help, so we made it happen.” Hailey says as she nods to the door of what was the guest room this morning.

“No,” Jay says as his mouth falls open slightly. “I… I thought the team needed you?”

“They did, just not at the district.”

Feline doesn’t understand what they are talking about anymore and looks between the two adults with a furrowed brow.

When Jay notices her confused state he gently explains. “Hailey and my friends wanted to surprise us. They have been here the whole day while I was with you in the hospital. You know why?”

Feline shakes her head.

“You see that door?” Jay asks as he points to it. “That room used to be a guest room until this morning. Now, it’s yours.”

Feline looks back at Hailey with a shocked face. Did she really do that? For her? She can’t quite believe it but Hailey gives her a small nod and Feline turns back to the door. She really wants to know what is behind it now.

“Let’s go take a look,” Jay says as he walks to the door and grips the handle.

Feline follows him slowly and Jay opens the door for her. She steps inside and then freezes for a second. It’s not big, but it’s lovely. She softly skims her hand over the bed as she walks through the room. Behind the bed is a wall painted in one of her favorite pastel purple shades, she has a nightstand that matches the big dark wooden closet in the corner. There is even a small desk pushed under the window with a few new art supplies on it. When Feline opens the closet to see how big it really is she finds it filled with a few new clothes.

Hailey joins Jay in the doorway to watch Feline walk around her new room. She lays a comforting hand on his back as he wipes away a few stray tears. “I hope you like purple.”

Jay lets out a cracked laugh. “I’ll live.”

When Feline closes the wardrobe again and turns back to them. Tear streaks cover her cheeks and she wipes them away with a soft sniffle.

“I’ve got her.” Hailey gives Jay’s arm a reassuring squeeze and walks into the room, letting him cry for a little longer. She sits down on the edge of the bed and motions for Feline to come over. “come here, honey.”

Feline walks over and stands between Hailey’s legs. She wipes at her eyes again and Hailey gently moves a strand of hair from her face.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” She asks her voice kind but filled with worry. She starts softly brushing up and down Feline’s back, comforting her while she waits for an answer.

“It’s… it’s b-beautiful.” Feline stammers out after a few seconds.

“So they are happy tears?”

Feline nods and Hailey pulls her into her lap and hugs her. She runs a hand through Feline’s hair and lets her cry softly. “Thank you,” Feline whispers into her shoulder.

Hailey pulls away and looks Feline in the eye. “You’re welcome, Feline.” She tells her and then adds. “You know, you don’t just have Jay now. You’ve also got me, and Will. And the rest of our family too, even if you don’t know them yet.

Feline nods and wipes the last tears from her face. She glances over to where Jay is still lingering in the doorway, noticing the tears streaming down his face too. She doesn’t know why he’s crying and pulls a confused face.

Hailey follows her gaze and gestures for Jay to come over. He quietly sits down next to her and smiles at Feline’s face.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” He asks her playfully, his voice a bit cracked with emotion.

“Tears,” Feline says softly but dead serious.

Jay lets out a quiet laugh and reaches out to Feline’s knee. He faintly rubs his thumb over her pajama pants, reassuring her that he is okay. “They are happy tears, sweetie. Hailey surprised me too with your room and I just really like how it turned out.” His eyes switch over to Hailey before he says. “And I’m very grateful for her.”

Hailey leaves not long after they are all done crying. Jay follows her to the door, thanking her one more time and giving her a big hug. Feline watches from a distance and waves at Hailey as she steps out the door. Jay turns back to her after closing the door and suggests to show her the rest of the apartment. After the tour, he gives Feline some time to unpack her bag and get settled in her room while he starts dinner.

Once Jay is almost done, he goes to get Feline from her room. He pushes open the door after knocking softly. He finds Feline standing by one of her windows, staring at the people below them. She looks up at him when she catches the movement out of the corner of her eye.

“Dinner is ready, you hungry?” Jay asks her and Feline nods, silently following him back to the kitchen. Jay grabs the plates and tells her. “Go wash up and we’ll be able to eat.”

He sets the plates down on the table and walks over to wash his own hands. Jay stands behind her and reaches over her head to grab the soap. Feline’s breath hitches and she flinches away.

“Don’t. Don’t hurt me, p-please.” Feline wheezes out, her eyes are big and scared as she watches him, waiting for his next move.

Jay immediately wants to smack himself upside the head when he sees her reaction and holds up his hands in front of him in what he hopes is a non-threatening manner.

“I’m sorry. Feline, I’m so sorry. I… I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Jay tries to keep his voice calm and gentle, but he’s panicking a little himself. She has just been with him for a few hours and he’s already screwing it up. “I’m not gonna hurt you Feline. I just wanted to grab the soap, okay? I should have told you what I was doing, I’m so sorry.”

Feline calms down again as his words register in her head and she gives him a slow nod.

“Okay. Okay, good,” Jay says as a sigh escapes him. “Let’s go eat.”

They go back to washing their hands and sit down at the table. A bigger meltdown might have been avoided, but dinner is still awkward. Feline sits stiffly in her seat. She still feels a little out of place in Jay’s apartment especially after Hailey left. It feels weird to realize that this is her home now. That she’ll sleep here every night and eat here every day. It’s very different from Tate’s place, a lot warmer, and more homey. But it doesn’t feel like her home. She hopes it will one day.

Jay stays silent during their dinner, unlike their breakfast that morning. He can’t think of any stories to tell her. His mind keeps going over the moment that he scared her. He has been so careful the whole day to make no sudden moves, to make her feel safe. He’d dropped his guard for two seconds, thinking he had the hang of it now, that he’d be careful and his stupid self goes and towers over her for a bottle of soap. How can he be the one to take care of her now, to help her, when he does things like this.

“Ooh, I think it’s bedtime,” Jay says when he catches Feline’s yawn at the end of dinner.

Feline nods and gets up, walking over to the bathroom. Jay clears out the table and then follows her. He waits in the doorway and watches as Feline struggles to remove the seal of her toothpaste. When they had toured the rest of the apartment Jay found out that Hailey hadn’t just remodeled the room, but had also gone to the store and bought her some primary needs such as some clothes, a toothbrush, shampoo, and a hairbrush. He had been pleasantly surprised with it all seeing that he hadn’t thought about most of the small stuff himself.

She is starting to get frustrated with this cast already. Feline hasn’t even had it for a whole day and she already hates it. There are so many things that she can’t do anymore now that she only has one functional hand, much more than she thought. She can’t even brush her teeth because she can’t get the seal to come off. The cast on her left hand makes it impossible to hold the tube tight enough to peel off the seal with her right hand. She’s been trying for the last few minutes and normally she doesn’t give up this easily but she is just too tired and overwhelmed to keep trying. Feline has noticed that Jay has been standing in the doorway for a while now. Although she appreciates that he doesn’t immediately take over, she really needs his help right now.

Feline looks at the tube she dropped in the sink after her last try and picks it up again. She looks up at Jay for the first time and shyly holds the toothpaste out in his direction. He understands the hint and moves closer, taking the tube from her and removing the seal within seconds. They move in silent tandem, as he helps her squeeze some on the toothbrush and steps back as Feline starts brushing.

Jay feels fidgety as he watches Feline brush her teeth. He supposes he should be doing something and not watching her like a hawk, which is probably making her uncomfortable. He has no idea what her bedtime routine should be like and if he should even be involved in it or if she’s old enough to go to bed on her own already. He guesses that she did that before and wonders if she prefers it that way or would actually want him there now that she has somebody who wants to bring her to bed and tuck her in, stay until she’s asleep.

His eyes catch onto the hairbrush next to a package of hair ties Hailey had gotten for her and then to Feline’s messy long hair. Jay reckons that he should learn how to do her hair, learn how to braid, and how to make a ponytail. He would probably totally suck at it, but he’s willing to try. Starting with just brushing it should be a great start, he supposes.

“Hey, Feline.” He says as he reaches for the brush. “Is it okay if I try to brush your hair out?”

Feline looks up at him out of the corner of her eye, momentarily stopping to brush her teeth. She gives him a small nod and turns back to her task and Jay starts his. She had already started to notice a few knots and knew it would only get worse overnight.

Jay has to stop brushing for a moment to let Feline rinse her mouth but after she allows him to finish before they move to her bedroom. Jay likes to have a task to focus on. he tries to be as gentle as possible, but Feline still flinched a few times on a particularly large knot. Jay can already imagine the two of them standing here every morning and night though. It kinda surprises him how easily he can picture Feline in his life already. She had just seemed like she belonged here when she was adoring her room this afternoon. And now, he was already picturing their new routines together.

In her new bedroom, Feline sits down awkwardly on the edge of her bed while Jay opens her wardrobe. He pulls out two new pajama sets and holds them up for Feline to choose from. “Which one do you want?”

She points at the striped set and Jay puts the other one back in the closet. He also grabs her some clean underwear before he walks over. He lays the clothes next to Feline on the bed and crouches down in front of her. “Is it okay if I help you get changed? It will be easier I think. But you’re allowed to say no if you don’t want me to.”

Feline thinks about her answer for a while, but the idea of getting changed herself doesn’t sound very appealing. She would prefer it if Hailey helped her again, but she’s not here anymore. She only has Jay right now and Feline finds that that is better than being on her own. So, eventually, she whispers. “You can help.”

Jay stays gentle and kind as he helps Feline out of his sweater and her pajama shirt. He can tell that Feline isn’t quite comfortable with it and moves as fast as possible without hurting her. When both layers are off, Jay sees the full extent of her injuries for the first time. Her chest and abdomen are covered in deep purple bruises and Jay freezes for a second. Feline wraps her arms around herself and lets out a soft whimper which pulls him out of his trance. Jay looks up at her face and mumbles a quick sorry. He reaches for the new shirt and helps Feline into it. He swallows the lump in his throat when he sits back as Feline steps out of her pants and underwear. Jay keeps his eyes up high as he helps her step into the clean ones, both for Feline and to stop the tears in his eyes from falling.

Feline crawls into bed when they are done and clutches her bear close. Jay tucks her in nice and tight and kneels beside her head. “You comfy?”

Feline nods but she still looks scared and there is still a tear escaping from her eye.

Jay sees it and softly reaches out to her arm under the blanket. “It’s okay, I’ll be close. You can come to my room if something is wrong okay? You won’t be alone tonight.”

“M-mom.” Feline whispers as she wipes the tears from her cheek.

“Your mom?” Jay asks, unsure what she means.

“M-miss her.”

Jay starts to understand then and carefully moves a strand of hair out of her face. “It’s okay. You know, I still miss my mom too sometimes, even though she died a long time ago. She used to tuck me in like this when I was little and she’d read to me until I fell asleep.” He tells her as he keeps softly brushing her hair. “You want me to do that? Read until you’re asleep?”

Feline nods slightly and relaxes in her new bed. Jay stands up and grabs the chair from Feline’s desk. He sits down and picks up the book Feline was reading the day before when he came in from talking to Will. When he first saw her after knowing she was his. He starts reading from the bookmark and even though he has no idea what it’s about, he really enjoys it. Just after Jay starts the next chapter Feline falls asleep.

Chapter Text

That night, Jay wakes up to go to the bathroom like usual. On his way back, he stops at the sight of Feline's door. The realization that his world has suddenly turned upside down in the last few days hits him hard. He used to be a single, work-focused man. A routine of eating, sleeping, and working, on repeat, with the occasional drink with his team or brother. Now, he has a daughter, he’s a father. There is someone at home he has to come back to, someone who is counting on him.

He can’t help himself and peeks through the door to see if she is still sleeping as peacefully as when he left her a few hours ago. Jay panics when he doesn’t see her small form on the bed. He steps inside and looks for her around the room. He finds Feline with her knees drawn up to her chest under the desk and lets out a sigh of relief. But an uneasy feeling builds up fast again when he notices how her eyes are bloodshot, her breaths are too short, and her knuckles white around the trauma bear and his sweater that he left in her room yesterday.

Feline doesn’t seem to notice him as Jay crouches in front of the desk. She is staring out in front of her, her eyes completely still. Her state reminds Jay of when he found her not even forty-eight hours ago, and he hates to see her so distressed again. Jay sits down on the ground as close as possible, not fitting under the desk himself. He reaches out to her, but can only barely brush her leg. He desperately wants to comfort her but she is out of his reach.

“come here, Feline.” He pleads.

Feline’s eyes shoot to him for the first time at his words and she pulls even further away from him. She starts to hyperventilate with the tears rolling down her cheeks and hides her face in the sweater.

Jay can’t take it any longer and lies down on his stomach. He pushes himself under the desk, places his hand on Feline’s ankle and softly rubs his thumb in circles. Feline tenses at his touch but doesn’t kick him away.

“Feline, listen. It’s Jay, you’re safe, okay? Nobody is going to hurt you… You’re okay sweetheart, try to take some deep breaths. You’re okay. Breath in… good, good job, sweetie… and out.”

Jay keeps rubbing her leg and reassuring her while he helps guide her breathing. He patiently waits for her to come out of her trance. It takes quite a few minutes for her to do so and Jay’s back starts to protest pretty fast, but he doesn’t care.

When Feline finally moves again, she wipes the tears from her cheeks and looks over at Jay. His face lights up with a smile as they make eye contact.

“Hi,” he gloats.

A small smile grows on Feline’s face even though she still shakes from the adrenaline. They wait for a few more minutes before they move to the bed. Jay sits down next to Feline and carefully tucks her into his side, making sure she’s okay with it. He picks up her book and continues reading until she is asleep again.

Jay stays there a little longer, admiring his daughter. He can't quite believe how much he already loves her after knowing her for barely two days. He knows that it's gonna take time for Feline to adjust, to trust him fully, and hopefully love him back one day. But he’s willing to wait.

Jay wakes up later than usual the next morning. He is out of his bed the second he sees the time, worried he’ll be late for work. It’s only after splashing some water on his face in the bathroom when he looks in the mirror that he realizes that he doesn’t have to work today. He grips the edge of the sink and takes a good look in the mirror. Once again letting it sink in that he is a father now. He stands there for a good few seconds before he moves to Feline’s room. He expects her to already be awake at this time, quietly busying herself at her desk or something. But he finds her still curled up under the blankets, the top of her messy long hair just visible above the comforter. Jay hesitates for a moment, she looks so peaceful now while she'd seemed so scared a few hours ago. He stands there a little longer and then moves to the window and carefully pulls back the blinds. Morning light floods the room in soft, golden hues. Feline stirs almost immediately, a small groan escaping her lips as she squints against the brightness.

"Morning, Feline," Jay says, keeping his voice gentle as he turns back toward her.

She blinks slowly, her face scrunching in discomfort as she shifts on the bed. One hand drifts to her ribs, and Jay sees her other arm resting awkwardly on the blanket, wrapped in her purple cast. The strong painkillers she got from the hospital yesterday have definitely stopped working by now. Feline watches him with wide eyes as he disappears from her room. When he returns with a glass of water and some painkillers, she's sitting up slightly, wincing with every movement.

"Here." Jay hands her the pills and the water, and she takes them without a word, her gaze flicking up to him nervously. He sits down on the bed and waits for her to have finished the water. He takes the glass from her and puts it down on the nightstand.

"So, here's the plan for today," he says, keeping his tone light. "First, there’s breakfast. I was thinking of some scrambled eggs. Then I think it’s time for you to have a shower, but only if you’re okay with that. And the rest of the day? Nothing but relaxing, we’ve both had a long few days. Does that sound good?”

Feline looks up at him and nods. She is happy to have a day of rest and a shower also sounds really good. Although she is a little nervous about that, the doctor had said that her cast and stitches couldn’t get wet so she’ll need Jay’s help with that. And even though it hadn’t been that horrible yesterday evening when he helped her into her pajamas, she hadn’t felt comfortable either.

Their breakfast goes a lot better than dinner the day before. Feline likes the cozy feeling of having breakfast together in their pajamas. Jay helps her up on the counter next to the stove and then he breaks some eggs into a pan and hands Feline the spatula, instructing her to scramble them. Feline does as she is told and watches Jay as he sets the table for them. She takes in the sight of him comfortably moving around his kitchen, not used to the domesticity.

Jay instructs Feline to lift her legs so he can reach the cabinet underneath them and bumps his head on her feet when he gets back up. Feline holds in a small giggle at his clumsiness but can’t help the grin that appears on her face as Jay rubs the back of his head. He sets the last things on the table and then lifts Feline down on the ground. Both of them are happy with the contrast with last night’s dinner as they eat in comfortable silence.

“You okay with taking that shower today?” Jay asks as they are finishing up the dishes. Feline can’t break her habit of always doing the chores yet and gladly helps him out the best she can with her cast.

Feline quits drying the last cup and thinks about it. When Jay wants to take it from her to put it away after draining the sink, he notices she’s stopped drying and patiently waits for an answer. Eventually, Feline looks up at him and gives him a small nod.

"Alright, I'll get the bathroom ready. You can pick out some clothes you want to wear today." Jay smiles as he puts the cup away for her and walks into the bathroom.

Feline walks into her room and chooses a pair of pastel purple joggers with a matching hoodie that Hailey must have gotten her after she learned that purple is her favorite color. She lays the set out on her bed and puts some underwear, a tank top, and a pair of socks with them.

Jay walks in just after she is done and smiles at the outfit she chose, "you really love purple, huh?" Feline smiles back at him with a spark in her eyes and nods shyly. "Alright, let's get you in that shower.”

They move to the bathroom and Jay helps Feline undress like the day before. He quickly secures the plastic sleeve around her arm to keep the cast and stitches dry and then turns on the shower for her.

“I’ll be right outside the door if you need me,” He tells her before he leaves her alone in the bathroom.

When he has closed the door behind him, Jay leans back against it and lets himself fall to the ground. He takes a deep breath to hold back the tears that are about to spill. Seeing her bruises and the scared look on her face isn’t easy and Jay hopes that both will fade soon because he can’t take this forever. He takes out his phone and calls Hailey before he even realizes it. He is about to hang up again because she is probably busy at work when the tone ends and he hears Hailey’s voice

"Hey, is everything okay? Is Feline okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. She's fine, at least I think so." Jay answers quickly to reassure Hailey. "She is in the shower right now. We just had breakfast after a bit of a rough night."  

"Okay, what happened?"  

"I think she had a nightmare which caused some sort of flashback or something. I just wanted to check on her after I went to the bathroom. She wasn't in her bed. She was hiding under her desk just like when we found her yesterday. She seemed to be in a totally different world. She was staring and breathing uncontrollably and.. and I couldn't reach her under that stupid small desk" Jay tells her, getting more panicked with every word he says. He clenches his fist at his side and desperately tries to keep his voice down so Feline won’t hear him, but the frustration is still clear in his voice.  

Hailey feels her throat tighten while she listens to her partner's words. She wants to be there for him but can only do so much over the phone. "Okay, okay. Jay, calm down. Take a breath. She's okay now, right? She's okay."

He takes a few deep breaths, and then he starts talking again. "It took a while, but she eventually came back to me. We sat on her bed for a while after, she didn't say a word the whole time. I just read to her until she was asleep again. I didn’t know what else to do.  

"That's good, Jay. You did the right thing. You were there when she needed you. You made sure she wasn't alone." Hailey responds.

Jay sighs heavily before he answers "I know. I just wish she would have told me, I want to help her so badly, but she barely lets me in."

"Well, it's not like you let me in much after one of your nightmares…" Hailey says, "So, like father like daughter, I guess."

That gets a small laugh out of Jay and then he continues worrying. "It just feels like I'm doing something wrong. I thought she was starting to trust me yesterday, but ever since we’ve gotten home it feels like she is pulling back more and more."

Hailey stays quiet for a moment after he says that. She has an idea why Feline is so distant from Jay all of a sudden, but she hesitates to tell him.

"Hailey?" Jay asks her a little worried.  

“It’s not your fault, Jay. You just went from someone who saved her to her father and that is a difficult change for her. You’re not just her hero anymore, she has to live with you now and we know that it will be totally different, that you won’t hurt her, but she doesn’t realize that yet. She thinks every man she lives with will be like Tate because that is all she has ever known. You just have to prove her wrong, and saying it won’t be enough. It’ll take time.”

When Hailey is done talking a few tears roll down Jay's cheeks. He knows that she is saying this from experience and it hurts him to think about everything Hailey and Feline have gone through in their childhood.

"Of course. Thank you, Hailey." He says softly as he wipes the tears from his face.

"No need to thank me, Jay. I'm here for you both, anything you need." Hailey responds. “I know you can do this.”

“I hope so,” Jay murmurs. He's about to say more when the door behind him suddenly opens.

Caught completely off guard, Jay topples backward into the bathroom. His back hits the tiles first, followed by a dull thud as the back of his head connects with the floor.  

"Ow!"

"Jay?!" Hailey's voice crackles through the phone in panic.

Jay blinks up at the ceiling, dazed, and then tilts his head slightly to see Feline standing over him. She's dried and dressed in her underwear, her towel wrapped around her upper body, but her hair is still dripping wet, forming little puddles on the tiles. Her wide, startled eyes meet his, and for a moment, there's silence. Then, a soft giggle escapes her.  

"Is everything okay? What's going on?!" Hailey's worried voice fills the room.  

Jay raises a hand to rub the back of his head, wincing slightly, but then he sees Feline desperately trying to smother her laughter. Her lips are pressed tightly together, but her shoulders shake, and her eyes sparkle with something he hasn't seen before, pure, unfiltered amusement.

Despite the ache in his skull, Jay finds himself smiling. "It's fine, Hailey. I just got ambushed by a door," he says into the phone, his tone light.

"A door? Jay… what?" Hailey's voice is still sharp, but Jay waves a dismissive hand as if she can see him.

"It's nothing. I'm fine," he assures her before glancing at Feline, who is now full-on grinning but trying to hide it behind her hand. "I was just sitting against the bathroom door. I didn't hear Feline finish her shower, so when she opened the door I got knocked into the tiles."

Hailey’s laughter fills the room and Jay scrambles up from the ground. He looks over at Feline and sees her smile fade away, now that he is towering over her again.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“You’re good, kiddo. Accidents happen.” Jay tells her resisting the urge to ruffle her wet hair. He turns his attention back to the phone and hears Hailey is almost done laughing. “Hey Hailey, I’ve got to go now. We’ll talk soon.” He waits for Hailey to say goodbye too and then ends the call. "Alright, let's find another towel, your hair clearly needs some more drying.”

It is a bit of a struggle to dry Feline's hair, Jay isn't used to the long strands that just refuse to get any dryer. When Feline starts to rill after trying for too long, he gives up and guides her to her bedroom to put on the rest of her clothes.

The rest of their day goes by quietly. Feline spends most of the time in her room content with her art supplies and books. Jay is a little less relaxed. He is constantly worried about Feline but also wants to give her space, so he spends the first half of the day cleaning the kitchen and living room. After that he finally gives in and goes to check on Feline, he brings her a snack and something to drink and sees that she is, in fact, totally fine. He compliments her drawing and proposes to hang it on the fridge. He loves the proud smile that covers Feline’s face when he hangs it up and she immediately goes back to making more.

Now that he knows that she is fine on her own at the moment, he begins to worry about other things, such as how he can help her best with her trauma, which school she should go to, and where Feline should go after school while he is still at work. He goes on a research binge and soaks up every piece of information he can find. He texts Kim for some advice on what she did with Makayla and gets back a recommendation for the same school Mak goes to and some ideas for after-school care. The school seems really good and he plans an appointment for a visit next week. The after-school care is a little harder, he knows he won’t be able to pick her up every day, but he also doesn’t want Feline to have to get comfortable with yet another stranger.

That night he finds her awake after a nightmare again, although this time still on her bed. Jay comforts her and reads her back to sleep, Feline stays silent the whole time. The next day goes pretty much the same. They spend their meals together but besides that Feline is always in her room. Jay starts to get a little worried about how tense she is every time she comes out of it. Feline seems to flinch away from him more outside her room and he can feel her eyes on him the whole time. It’s like she’s expecting something from him but he doesn’t know what.

Once Jay has brought Feline to bed and has settled on the couch, his phone rings with an incoming call from Will. He picks up and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey man, just checking in. How is my favorite niece doing?” Will asks

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Jay says with a sigh. “she’s been awake both nights, but she doesn’t tell me why. The first morning went alright but since then she has been so withdrawn. She spends most of the time in her room. Which is amazing by the way, the team put it together for her while we were in the hospital. In the living room and kitchen, she just seems so scared though. And I just want to give her space to settle down but I’m also a little worried.”

“What did you do that first morning, when it did go well?”

“Nothing special. We just made breakfast and she took a shower.”

“So, maybe you are giving her too much space,” Will suggests. “Maybe she is waiting on you to give her directions, tell her what to do. You could try to propose some activities, I don’t know. Watch TV together, go for a walk, bake something. You’re the adult here brother.”

“That actually doesn’t sound so bad…” Jay thinks out loud, ideas for things to do already forming in his head.

“Besides that, she has this amazing room now, that is all hers. But the rest of the apartment is all you, Jay. You could look for some items that would make her feel more comfortable around the whole apartment.”

“Who are you and what did you do to my brother? He usually doesn’t have such good advice,” Jay teases, already adding a shopping trip to the list of things they could do.

Will lets out a short laugh. “Happy to help.”

“Yeah, thanks man,” Jay says. “So, anything going on in your life lately? I feel like all I talk about is Feline these days.”

“Well, I did just become an uncle,” Will laughs, and Jay soon follows. “No, but uhm… Seriously, there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now.”

Will suddenly sounds very nervous and Jay’s interest peeks. He patiently waits for his brother to continue.

“But, I… I think I should tell you in person. Maybe I can come over this weekend? But only if you’re okay with it, with Feline and all. If it’s too soon it can totally wait, don’t worry. I don’t want to overwhelm her of course. I…”

“Will! Slow down, man,” Jay interrupts his ramble. “Of course, you can come. Feline will be fine, you just told me she needs more structure. Besides, she should get to know her uncle.”

“Yeah okay, thanks,” Will sighs. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll see you. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Jay takes Will up on his advice the next day. After breakfast, he and Feline head out to the store. They spent the whole morning looking for stuff. Jay had explained his plan to Feline at breakfast and a shy smile had grown on her face. She had seemed to like the idea but in the store, she was very shy. She stays close to the cart at all times and only lets her eyes wander. Jay follows them attentively and now and then adds one of the items her eyes seem to catch on. Like this really soft blanket with a hood on it for better snuggles. Or some fridge magnets with animal designs.

Jay’s own eyes catch onto a few more practical things. A step stool for both the kitchen and the bathroom, a small coatrack he’ll be able to hang at her height, and two bookshelves he wants to hang above the couch.

Eventually, Jay sees Feline’s gaze latch onto an oval hanging chair, her pace slows down beside the cart, and Jay decides to stop. Feline automatically stops too, but her wonder-filled gaze stays on the chair.

“You should try it out.” Jay prompts.

Feline’s head snaps to him with a confused look. Like she can’t believe what he just said. Jay just nods and gestures to the chair.

Feline turns back to it and hesitantly approaches. She softly trails the cushions in the cocoon and then carefully climbs in. Luckily, the chair isn’t hanging too high and she is able to do so easily. She sinks into the pillows and it feels like heaven. It’s so soft and the cocoon makes her feel protected from all sides. Feline can’t help but let a big grin grow on her face.

Jay trails behind and watches her from a few feet away. “You like it?”

Feline nods enthusiastically and then gets distracted by how the cocoon is woven together, tracing one of the strands with her finger.

“Well… I think we should get one for in the living room then.”

Feline’s head immediately snaps back to Jay with a look of disbelief painted across her face. “We… we can?” She asks carefully.

“Yeah, I think there is just enough room besides the couch for this one. We could make it your own little spot, maybe with the bookshelves. What do you say?”

“T-thank you,” Feline stammers as she wipes a tear from her eyes. Living with Jay has already been so much more than she expected. And now he’s giving up even more of his space for her.

Jay sees her wet eyes and crouches down in front of the chair, laying a comforting hand on her knee. “You’re welcome, sweetie. It’s your home now too, you know.”

Feline fights her sleep the whole drive back to the apartment. It starts with just a few yawns, but eventually, she gets startled awake from her head falling down. Jay gives her a small smile through the rearview mirror but says nothing. Feline knows he saw though and blushes shyly, looking away through the window.

It doesn’t take much longer before they are back and together they carry the first load from their shopping trip inside. Feline only carries the blanket and fridge magnets, while Jay has his arms completely full with step stool building packages for both the kitchen and bathroom.

It takes a minute for Jay to unlock the door, but he succeeds and lets Feline walk in first. “You know, if you want you could take some rest. I’ll further unpack the car and get started on your chair.”

Feline doesn’t even get to answer before another yawn escapes her and it makes them both chuckle a little. She retreats back to her room and can hear Jay leave the apartment again after she closes her door. She lays down on her bed and grabs the book she and Jay have been reading. The progress is going much faster now than what Feline is used to, with Jay reading to her every night and after every nightmare.

She hadn’t slept a night without them yet. Luckily, the others hadn’t been as bad as the first one that had sent her hiding underneath her desk. They had just left her reeling and unable to sleep until Jay would come in and get her back to sleep.

Feline had been so scared when he found her that first night, afraid that she had woken him up and that he would be mad. It took her a while to realize that he wasn’t, that he cared and wanted to help her. His comfort had felt so foreign at first but once she totally accepted it, Feline really liked it.

She was still too afraid to go to his room at night, but Feline wasn’t just waiting for morning to come anymore either, she was waiting for Jay to come in and help her get back to sleep.

Feline is only able to read a few pages before her eyes start drooping. She marks her page and is about to fall asleep when she gets startled by a loud noise, followed by a curse from Jay. She shoots upright on her bed and her breathing quickens for a second until she realizes that Jay must have dropped something heavy. Feline feels wide awake again and decides to try some drawing. She sits down at her desk and picks up her pencils.

Over the next hour, Feline gets used to all the noise Jay makes. She doesn’t get startled by it anymore and instead tries to hold in her laugh every time she hears Jay almost curse. Then there is a bang that is so loud that it startles Feline again followed by a real curse and then it’s silent, too silent. She can’t hear the quiet shuffling of Jay picking things up again or the flipping of pages from the instruction guide. When it stays silent for too long Feline starts to get worried and she hesitantly leaves her room to take a look at what is going on.

Feline finds Jay sitting on the ground leaning against the couch. The two bookshelves they bought are lying on the floor in front of him and the instructions are open on his lap. His head is laid back on the couch, his eyes focused on the ceiling. He looks defeated. Feline notices that he has already successfully built the chair and the two step stools, but now seems stuck on the shelves.

Jay shifts his head to look at Feline when he hears her approaching. When Feline notices that she’s been caught she freezes. A soft smile appears on Jay’s face and Feline can feel her body relax a bit when she notices.

“Hi,” Jay whispers.

Feline doesn’t respond but takes a step further into the living, taking in the mess he has made.

“I was doing okay until I was required to be an octopus to get these shelves on the wall.” He sighs. “Think you can lend me a hand?”

Feline shrugs and holds up her casted wrist. “I only have one.”

“I think that’ll be enough,” Jay chuckles.

Together they are able to hang up the bookshelves and the coatrack in no time. That one hand from Feline was exactly what Jay needed to hold up the item and drill it into the wall at the same time. They directly move the few books Feline has to the shelves and take in all the empty space they have left from a distance.

“We’ll work on filling that up,” Jay says. “Good job.” He holds up his hand for a high-five, far enough to not scare Feline but still within reach.

Feline only hesitates briefly before she smacks her hand against his. Jay shakes his hand in the air after, feigning like it really hurts. Feline lets out a soft giggle and grabs her book from the shelve, settling down in her chair. It doesn’t take long before she is out like a light, not even able to mark her page.

When Jay notices he snaps a quick picture and gently prys the book from her hands, marking the page and setting it down on the coffee table.

Chapter Text

There are three knocks on the door right after lunch on Sunday. Jay is still busy in the kitchen while Feline is almost dozing off in her chair with a book. She springs to attention at the sound of the knocks.

Jay had told her that her uncle Will would be coming over after lunch, but she still got a little bit surprised by the noise. Feline had been sucked into her book because she was nearly done reading and she wanted to know how it ended.

“Hey man, good to see you. Come in,” Jay says as he opens the door for his brother. Will steps inside and shrugs off his jacket. It’s then that Jay notices Will is holding something big and fluffy behind his back. “What are you hiding?”

“Just a little something for my favorite niece,” Will responds, showing the gigantic stuffed bunny. It’s beige and almost even bigger than Feline self, with ears so big they cover over half the length.

“She’s your only niece.” Jay sighs. “And you’re her only uncle, so don’t fight me on that you have to be her favorite.” He strokes a hand through his hair, already worrying about where he will find the space for that thing.

Will grins as he hangs up his jacket. “We both know that Adam and Kevin will not agree to that statement. So actually, I do have to be her favorite.”

Jay gives up and walks into the kitchen. “Okay, well. Just give it to her. I’m sure she’ll like it. Do you want coffee?”

“Yes please,” Will answers as he walks over to the living room, the bunny once again hidden behind his back.

Feline is now sitting on the edge of her chair, her book completely forgotten. She wants to know what Will brought for her after hearing their whole conversation. She watches him as he approaches her and sits down on the edge of the coffee table in front of her. Feline can see something beige and fluffy behind his back, the present too big to be completely hidden.

“I know that Pelle is a great bear, I’ve met him after all. But I do think that he is a little lonely. I know he has you and you’re amazing but when you go to school soon, he’ll be all alone. So I bought him, and you, another friend.”

Feline’s jaw falls open as Will pulls the massive stuffed bunny from behind his back. She has to take it from him with both arms and as she hugs its soft form, she completely disappears behind it. “Thank you,” comes a muffled voice from behind all the fur.

“You’re welcome,” Will says and then stands up, walking towards the kitchen. He passes by Jay and gives him a pat on the shoulder, the two of them sharing a big smile. They sit down at the dinner table, Jay passing him a cup of coffee. “So, how’s she doing?” Will starts, glancing back at Feline who is struggling to position herself and the bunny in the chair.

Jay's face turns sad. “The nightmares are still bad. She won’t wake me up. I’m afraid she is awake for hours at night until I come to check on her and get her back to sleep. She’s been sleeping a lot during the day.” He states. There is a moment of silence before he continues. “But she seems to be doing better during the day, though. Your advice worked wonders. She loves that chair and her blanket. She spends a lot of time reading here now and only goes to her room to draw, she even left the door open a few times. I think she is starting to settle in.”

“That’s good to hear.” Will replies. “You should go to the library with her. She’ll go through those books in no time, I’m afraid.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. We already made it through one, and she has only been here a few days.” Jay chuckles. “But, How are you doing? You said you had something to tell me?”

“Yeah, uhm… Right.” Will rambles.

Jay notices how he shifts uncomfortably in his chair and starts playing with the ear of his mug. He seems nervous. It’s odd, Will is never nervous to tell Jay anything about his life. He’s spent evenings listening to his brother tell him every piece of drama from the ED. So, this is nothing like him.

“I’m dating someone,” Will says eventually to break the silence. He is looking down at his hands on the table.

Jay just hums, knowing that that is not it. He’s heard enough about crushes and dates to know that Will is very open about his love life.

“A man. I’m dating a man, I’m bisexual.” Will rushes out, not daring to look up from his hands for Jay’s reaction. But when it stays silent for too long he carefully lifts his head anyway.

“Okay,” is all Jay says, leaning back against his chair, his arms crossed over his chest.

“That’s it?!”

“As long as you are happy and your boyfriend isn’t a dick, then yeah, that’s it.”

Will lets out a big sigh of relief. He doesn’t know why he was so nervous to tell Jay this, but it feels like a heavy weight lifted from his shoulders now. The longer he kept it to himself, the harder it felt to tell him. He didn’t want Jay to think that he kept it a secret from him. He just wasn’t ready yet. “Thanks, Jay, that means a lot.”

Jay shifts forward on his chair, covering one of Will’s hands with his. “No thanks needed. You’re my brother and I love you, it doesn’t matter if you’re kissing boys or girls, okay?”

Will nods and swallows, feeling the emotions rising. “I love you too.”

“Good,” Jay says as he leans back again. “So, how long have you been dating this boyfriend of yours?”

“We don’t have an official date, I think. But Connor kissed me for the first time somewhere in October. So a little over four months now.” Will thinks aloud.

“Woah, wait, hold up. Connor as in Connor Rhodes. Your arrogant and annoying colleague, the one you hate so much?!”

Will cheeks flush bright red and he throws back his head. “God, why are you a detective? I admit I might have had a questionable way of flirting with him.”

“Well, yeah. But it must have worked eventually.”

Will shrugs. “It was during one of our arguments that I riled him up so bad that he just snapped and kissed me on the elevator. So, I guess”

Jay shakes his head in disbelief. “How long have you known that you’re bi?”

“I didn’t, not until I was kissing a man on the elevator.”

“Really?” Jay asks and Will nods his head. Jay sighs and says. “Only you could be that oblivious.”

“What do you mean?” Will asks surprised. There is no way his brother knew before he did, right? “How long have you known then?

“Only since you had that crush on Eddie in the tenth grade.”

“But… You were twelve?!”

Jay nods. “I was twelve, and you were very obvious. I think even Mom noticed.”

Will groans and lets his head fall onto his arms on the table.

Jay reaches out and pats his arm. “I’m glad you finally figured it out too, bro.”

Will looks up at his brother and a smile grows on his face as he thinks about Connor. “Yeah, me too.”

“He makes you that happy, huh? That you smile just thinking of him.”

“He does, he really does,” Will says smitten. His relationship with Connor changed a lot after they admitted their feelings, for the better. They still had a healthy argument at work now and then, but that usually just ended in a hot make-out session at home. “We’re actually looking at moving in together.”

“Wow, that’s a big step.” Jay raises his eyebrow. “I’m really happy for you, man. You deserve it.”

“Thank you,” Will blushes. “But enough about me. When are you gonna do something about Feline’s messy hair?”

Jay shrugs and looks over at Feline completely lost in her book. Her hair is indeed quite fizzy and messy despite brushing it every evening before bed. “Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“letting her sleep with a braid will probably help,” Will advises.

“And how do I make one of those?”

“Really?! You don’t know how to make a simple braid?”

“No, am I supposed to?” Jay asks slightly offended.

“When you have a daughter, yes you are,” Will exclaims and stands up. “Come on I’ll show you how it’s done.”

He walks over to the couch and sits down facing Feline. Jay follows him quietly, still surprised that Will knows how to braid.

“I was wondering if you’d be okay with me braiding your hair?” Will asks gently.

Feline looks up from her book. She doesn’t answer right away, just hesitates, eyes flicking toward Jay for a second and then back down again. Will catches the hint of uncertainty and softens his voice even more.

“You see, Jay wants to learn how to do one,” he adds. “So he can make them for you in the future too.”

That makes her pause. A little surprise flickers across her face, like she wasn’t expecting that kind of effort. After a moment, she gives him the smallest of nods.

Will smiles. “Come sit, you can bring your book if you want.”

She slips out of the chair and moves toward him, still cautious. Sitting down cross-legged between his knees, she holds the book close in her lap like a shield. Will doesn’t rush. He waits until she is settled and only then reaches out.

She flinches the first time his fingers touch her hair. Just a quick, involuntary jerk of her shoulder, then she stills. Will pauses, gives her a second, and then continues with gentle, deliberate movements.

She doesn’t look up from her book, but her shoulders slowly relax. The tension begins to melt away as Will splits her hair into three sections. It feels… nice. Calming. She hadn’t realized how much her hair had been bothering her until now. Normally she’d yank it back into a ponytail without thinking, but with her cast, even that had become impossible. She didn't want to ask Jay for help, she never asked for help. So she hadn’t.

Now she didn’t have to ask.

Jay watches over Will’s shoulder, close enough to watch but not hover. Will softly explains each step as he begins to braid, which movements to make, and how to hold tension without pulling. Jay listens intently, nodding, but he already knows he won’t remember it all. It looks simple when Will does it, but when he pictures himself trying it, three strands, two hands, weaving it all together, it suddenly seems impossible.

When Will is almost done he asks Jay. “Can you grab me a hair tie?”

Instead of standing up and going to the bathroom, Jay simply pulls one from around his wrist and hands it to him. Will raises his eyebrows at him as he takes the elastic from him. “What?!” Jay asks.

“Why do you have a hair tie around your wrist?” Will asks, still looking at Jay.

“Hailey.”

“Mhmm,” Will hums as he turns back to the braid and ties it off.

“What?! She forgets them sometimes.” Jay defends.

Will ignores him and softly pats Feline’s shoulder. “All done, go take a look.”

Feline tries to hide her amusement at their banter as she gets up and walks into the bathroom. The boys wait on the couch. Will pointedly ignores Jay’s stare, keeping his eyes on the bathroom door until Feline appears again.

There’s a big smile plastered across her face when she does. “Thank you,” She says softly.

“No problem, kiddo,” Will says. “Hey, I heard Jay’s friends made you this beautiful room. Can I see?”

Feline nods and Will stands up from the couch, grabbing the bunny he gave to Feline and following her to her room.

“I think we should find a place for this guy, don’t you think?”

“Mhmn” Feline hums and opens her door. She takes the stuffed animal from Will and walks inside, placing it at the foot of her bed.

Will follows her inside and looks around in wonder. Hailey and the rest really did a good job of redecorating his brother’s boring guestroom to a real girls’ room. “It’s beautiful Feline. What do you like the most?” He asks as he takes a seat in her desk chair and takes a spin in it.

“The desk,” Feline answers immediately, now sitting on her bed, her feet dangling over the edge. “I never had one before.”

“Well, an artist like you needs a good desk. These drawings are very pretty,” Will compliments as he takes a look over the papers that are lying on her desk.

There is a light blush on Feline’s cheeks when he looks up again. “Thank you.”

“What do you think of living with Jay so far? Is he taking good care of you?” Will asks as he stands up and looks out the window.

Feline looks down at her hands when he asks that. And then she looks out the door to Jay, even though she can’t see him from here.

“It’s okay. I won’t tell him what you say, won’t even mention that I asked.” Will reassures. “I just want to know if you’re happy.”

“He’s good,” Feline whispers as she fidgets with her hands. Will carefully sits down next to her on the bed and she looks up for a second and then lets out a soft giggle. “And clumsy.”

“Yeah, he’s always been that way.” Will chuckles.

“He bumped his head twice on Wednesday.”

“Sounds like Jay,” Will comments and then turns to Feline with a serious face. “If he ever does something wrong, you know I will kick his butt, right?”

Feline nods her head, looking back at him very seriously. They keep staring at each other for a little while until they both break out laughing.

Will recovers first and watches Feline’s joy. He barely recognizes the scared little girl who was brought into the ED at the beginning of the week. She still has a long way to go, he knows that. He knows that tonight she will be plagued with nightmares again. But he can also see that these last few days in a loving home have already done her a lot of good. Will’s heart overflows with love and admiration for his niece in that moment and he just can’t hold it in.

“I’m so glad I get to be your uncle from now on Feline,” Will admits as he pinks away a tear. “Can I have a hug maybe?”

Feline is a little stunned by the sudden shift in tone at first, but when she sees the tears in his eyes, she gives in and crawls into his open arms. She is tense at first but when Will engulfs his arms around her she melts into his embrace. Feline rests her head on his shoulder and saviors the moment.

“I’ll always be here for you, okay?” Will whispers in her ear.

Feline nods and hugs him a little tighter.

When they finally separate, they go back to Jay and spend the rest of the afternoon with the three of them. The brothers tell Feline a dozen stories about when they were younger, always trying to one-up the other with embarrassment.

Jay and Feline are watching TV in the afternoon the next day. Feline is lying sideways on the couch her head resting on the armrest. Jay can see her eyes slowly closing from the soothing nature documentary they’re watching. He’s on the other side of the couch, quietly folding laundry.

It’s almost dinner time, and normally Jay would already be in the kitchen preparing something. But today Hailey had texted him with news about Luc from Feline’s case, and that she would come over with take-out after work.

Jay is looking forward to seeing her again. It’s not that he doesn’t love to be with Feline or that he thinks that it’s not important for both of them to have some time to adjust to their new life. But he misses her, misses working with her every day. He’d gotten so used to having her beside him every day over the last few years that he didn’t know how it would be without her anymore.

Before he can spiral any further into what that means, there are three quick knocks on the door. Feline is immediately awake again and sits upright on the couch, looking at the door. Jay quickly puts the laundry aside and pauses the TV, approaching the door.

“Hey! I’m glad to see you survived your first week of parenthood,” Hailey greets when Jay opens the door and they give each other a short hug.

“It’s good to see you’re still alive without me there.” Jay fires back as he takes the take-out from her hands and places it on the dinner table. He immediately grabs some plates and starts to set the table for the three of them.

Hailey starts to take off her jacket and shoes. “I’ll have you know that Vanessa is a very capable officer and that she’s got my back until you return.” When she is done she walks further into the apartment and stops beside the dinner table, spotting Feline still perked up on the couch. She crouches down slightly and opens her arms. “Hi, Feline!”

Jay watches how Feline gets up from the couch and runs into Hailey’s arms. Hailey lifts her up and they share a big hug. He is momentarily distracted from setting the table and watches the girls. Feline seems so comfortable in his partner’s arms and he loves the sight. He hears her tell Hailey about their trip to the library that morning and then she is wiggling to be let down and pulls Hailey into the living room to show her her chair. Hailey looks over her shoulder with a smile and motions for Jay to come too, so he sets down the glasses he is holding and follows them.

As soon as Jay sits down next to her on the coffee table, across from Feline in her chair, Hailey starts talking. “Remember how you told us about what happened, in the hospital a few days ago? How we said it might help us catch the bad guy?”

Jay immediately catches onto what this is about. He watches as Feline stills in her seat, her eyes darting between him and Hailey, her happiness from a second ago instantly gone. Jay wishes he could bring it back, but it’s important she knows this because it will help her heal in the long run.

After Feline gives her a hesitant nod Hailey continues. “Well, it did. A few of our colleagues were able to find Luc and they arrested him today. He’s going to prison for a long time.”

It takes a second for the words to register in Feline’s head, but when they do, she feels immense relief. She can’t fight the tears that well up in her eyes and lets out a big sigh. The words play on repeat in her head, He’s going to prison, He’s going to prison. He can’t get to her anymore. Her breath gets stuck in her throat and Feline can’t fight it any longer. She moves forward, falling into Hailey’s arms. She hides her face in her neck and lets the tears fall. Hailey drapes her arms around her and holds her tight. Feline can feel a much bigger hand rest on her back, rubbing up and down soothingly.

“You’re safe, honey. Everything will be alright.” Jay whispers.

They have said it to her a dozen times now but it’s the first time that Feline actually believes it. She’s safe . It’s an overwhelming feeling, one she hasn’t felt in years. It feels unfamiliar and new. Feline doesn’t know what to do with it and maybe that is what makes her say it. “He… He came back.”

Hailey can barely hear what she says and pulls back a little, wiping a tear from Feline’s cheek. “What do you mean, honey?”

“In my dream. You never came. He… He came back, for m-me.”

“Hey Feline, he can’t anymore. He won’t come back. I promise.” Jay says. “And you can always wake me up at night, okay? No matter what.”

Feline nods and shifts into Jay’s arms. He hugs her tight and locks eyes with Hailey over her shoulder. There is a soft smile on her face and Jay can’t help but grow one too, even though they are all a little emotional.

“Can we eat now?” Feline breaks the moment, her head still resting on Jay’s shoulder.

They break out in a laugh and Jay pulls back from the hug, looking at his amazing daughter. “Yeah, we can eat. Come on, the food is getting cold.”

“You know Feline, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” Jay begins after he wipes his mouth at the end of dinner. Feline gives him a curious look and he continues. “I’ve talked to a friend of mine Kim, she has a daughter a little older than you, Makayla, who she adopted after she went through something traumatic like you. I asked her for some advice and she said that the school Mak goes to is really good and that you might like it too. They have this amazing art program and a school dog, Mr. Wiggles. There are a ton of sports you can play if you want to and it’s close to where I work, so I’ll be able to drop you off every day. What do you say?”

Feline is a little shocked by all the information he just gave her. Does he really want her opinion? It sounds like he already made a decision. She looks down at her plate and shrugs.

“Hey, Feline,” Jay says a little softer as he sees her close off. “I don’t want you to go to a school you don’t like, okay? I want to know what you’re thinking.”

Feline looks up a little surprised. “The dog sounds fun,” She admits. “And I like sports.”

“Does that mean we should take a look this week?” Jay asks hopefully. Feline nods with a small smile. “Okay great. I’m still figuring things out for after school though. I’ll still be at work and won’t be able to pick you up myself, but I’m sure we’ll find something.”

“Maybe Jo will watch me,” Feline says softly.

“Who’s that?” Hailey asks, interfering with their conversation for the first time.

Feline looks up at her with a smile. “She was my neighbor. She always watched out for me when I was alone.”

“She sounds like a good neighbor,” Jay comments.

“She was,” Feline says as she nods enthusiastically. “Jo always invited me for dinner when he was gone and I would get to play with Mason.”

Hailey’s brows furrow. “Mason?”

“Her foster son, he’s six,” Felien explains, and then her face turns a little sad. “I miss him, he was my best friend.”

“I think we should pay them a visit then. After we visit the school.”

Feline’s head snaps to Jay when he says that. “Really?”

“Mhm, I want to meet these amazing people.”

When Jay lies in bed later that night, he thinks back to what Feline had told them. He’s so glad she had someone during her time with that horrible man. He also hasn’t heard her talk that much the whole week he has known her now. He’s glad she did, that she felt safe enough to do so. He suspects Hailey might have had something to do with that. Feline had seemed more comfortable with her around, although she had already been doing a lot better since their shopping trip the previous week. He feels relieved to see her settling in okay, how Feline seems a little less scared every day. And at the same time, his love for her only grows.

Their visit to the school on Wednesday goes pretty well. Feline is shy at first, hiding behind Jay’s legs a bit and holding onto his hand tightly. Once they start the tour she gets a little more relaxed. She doesn’t let go of his hand yet but looks around curiously.

She lets go of him for the first time when they make it to the library and she gets to meet the dog. Feline crouches down next to him and gives him some pets while he happily wags his tail. At that moment, Jay can tell the principal a little about her past without Feline having to hear. She shows them great sympathy and tells Jay that Feline will be in the best hands at their school.

At the end of the tour, both Jay and Feline are convinced. They settle into the office to get Feline enrolled, starting next week. There is a lot of paperwork involved and Feline quickly gets bored. She drifts to the window and looks outside at the kids playing.

The principal joins her a few feet to the side and says. “Those will actually be your new classmates. I can bring you outside so you can play with them until we’re done, if you want and your dad is okay with it, of course.”

They look back at Jay, who looks up from the papers he is filling in. “If you want to, you can go.” Feline nods and Jay is a little surprised by that.

“Alright, follow me.” The principal says.

Feline follows her outside and hesitantly stands next to the woman. She looks back at Jay through the window and he gives her a thumbs-up. She smiles and looks back at the kids.

“Emily!” The principal says loudly. “Come here for a second.”

One of the girls on the playground looks up and approaches them. She is a little taller than Feline, with long brown hair pulled into two braids that hang over her shoulders. Her skin is pale and her cheeks pink, once she stands still in front of them, she says softly. “Hi.”

Feline raised her hand in a short wave, suddenly very shy again.

“Emily, I want you to meet Feline.” The principal introduces. “She’ll be joining your class next week.”

“Hi, Feline. Want to come play with me?”

Feline nods and follows the girl onto the playground. The principal turns back around to continue Feline’s application with Jay in her office. As she enters the room he is still looking outside at his daughter, now playing on the swings. “Emily is a lovely and very outgoing girl who will show Feline around. I’m sure they’ll be friends before the end of the day.”

Jay nods and they return to the task at hand. Fifteen minutes later all the paperwork is done and Jay is ready to go. He walks over to Feline on the playground and says. “Hey Feline, sorry to break up the fun, but we have to go.”

Feline gives him a little pout and looks over at Emily. They are having fun and she doesn’t want to go yet.

“Come on,” Jay motivates. “We’re going to Jo’s.”

Feline lights up at the reminder and quickly steps next to Jay, suddenly ready to go too. She waves over her shoulder as they start walking to the car.

“Bye Feline, I’ll see you Monday.” Jay hears Emily say behind them.

Chapter Text

It’s lunchtime, and so Jay and Feline stop for a quick lunch at a diner before they go to Jo. Once their stomachs are full again, Jay drives them to Feline’s old street and parks the car a few houses down the road from her old one. He gets out and walks around to Feline’s side to help her. He opens her door and holds out his hand, but notices how she is staring down the street. She doesn’t acknowledge him and her expression is blank, she seems to be in a different place.

Jay gently places his hand on her knee. “Hey, Feline.”

She flinches from his touch, her breath hitching and her eyes snap to him. Her eyes are big and filled with fear. It takes her a moment to realize that Jay is standing next to her and not him. She lets out a ragged breath and Jay softly rubs her knee.

“It’s okay, take your time,” He says softly. “I know it’s scary, but he’s not here anymore, it’s just a house now. We’re going to visit Jo, remember?”

Feline nods and tries to take some deep breaths, focusing on the feeling of Jay’s hand on her knee and thinking about a happy memory with Jo and Mason.

“Can you point out which house Jo lives in, Feline?” Jay asks once she has calmed down a little.

She looks around a bit before pointing at a house diagonally across from her old one, it’s small with a front yard full of flowers. There is a porch with a white front door and a big window next to it. Next to the door is a big flowerpot filled with colorful flowers and there is a windchime hanging from the porch. The house looks a little older but like a real home.

“You ready to go?” Jay asks, holding out his hand for her again.

Feline nods slowly and grabs his hand to get out of the car. She doesn't let go once she is safely on the ground and they walk towards Jo’s house together. Feline looks up at Jay when they are standing on her porch, silently asking if she can ring the doorbell. Jay nods at her and Feline takes a step forward to press the bell. When she hears it go off inside she steps back again with a nervous and excited smile.

It doesn't take too long before the door swings open. "Oh my god! Feline! I'm so glad to see that you are okay," Jo exclaims when she sees who is at her door. She opens her arms for a hug and says. "Come here, sweetie."

Feline lets go of Jay and steps into Jo’s arms without hesitation, her voice barely audible as she whispers, "Hi, Jo."

Jay watches with a grin tugging at his lips, warmth blooming in his chest. He can see the shift in Feline immediately, the way her shoulders drop, the tension of being back in this neighborhood melting away in the safety of Jo’s embrace. Whatever weight this street carries for Feline, it's clear that with this woman, there are only good memories.

After a long moment, Jo pulls back slightly, her hands still on Feline's shoulders as she studies her. "Look at you," she says warmly. "You look so good, that smile suits you well. And no… You've grown again. Haven't you?"

Feline giggles softly and shrugs, glancing shyly at Jay. "Maybe," she whispers.

Jo follows her gaze and it's the first time she notices Jay. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she says as she straightens up, keeping one hand on Feline's shoulder and putting the other out to shake Jay's. "I'm Josephine Green, but you can just call me Jo, dear. There's no need to remind me that I'm old."

"It's nice to meet you, Jo. I'm Jay Halstead, I'm Feline's…" He hesitates there, looking at Feline real quick. "Father," He says with a little proud smile, it feels really good to call himself that. And luckily Feline doesn't seem to mind, judging by the same small proud smile she wears. He also doesn't miss the way Jo's gaze softens as she takes in his words.

"Come on in," she announces as she opens the door wider for them. "I'm so happy to see that she made it out okay. All the police would tell me is that she was taken to the hospital with a bullet wound." Jo says while they take off their jackets and walk towards the living room.  

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Jay says. "We're not really allowed to tell bystanders much more than that."

"You're a police officer?" Jo asks him surprised on her way to the back door.  

Jay follows her a little hesitantly, unsure of where she wants him to go "Uh… Yeah. I'm the one that found her last week," He answers nervously while glancing back at Feline who has taken a seat on the couch. Funny, she seems much more relaxed here than him.  

"Huh," is all Jo says before opening the back door and sticking her head out. "Mason! Come greet our guests, please!"  

A young boy immediately comes running to the door. He steps inside and takes off his shoes and jacket. "Hi, I'm Mason." He says nicely while shaking Jay's hand.  

"Hi, Mason. I'm Jay," He says back.

Feline stands up from the couch when she hears Jo call for Mason and stands a few feet behind Jay. When Mason is done shaking Jay's hand he immediately notices her and runs to her. "Feline!" He shouts right before he crashes into her in a big hug.

Feline lets out an audible 'oof' at the impact and winces from the pain in her ribs. Jay is about to step in and tell the boy to be careful when Feline starts talking herself. "Mason, careful. It hurts." She stammers and he immediately loosens his grip on her but doesn't let go yet.

They stand there a little longer, so happy to see each other again when they thought they wouldn't. "Do you want to come play?" Mason asks as he finally lets go of her and looks up with a hopeful smile.

Feline looks over at Jay who has by now settled down at the kitchen table. He nods at her to go on and Feline follows Mason to the corner of the living room where all his Legos are.

Jo emerges from the kitchen with two cups of coffee, two glasses of lemonade, and some cookies on a tray. She settles down across from Jay and gives him one of the coffees. She notices the proud smile on his face and follows his gaze towards the kids. "She is really wonderful, isn't she?"

Jay lets out a soft chuckle and says. "Yeah, she really is." Before focusing his gaze on Jo. "She's had been through so much, but she still has the brightest smile."

"She can light up a whole room," Jo comments before moving on. "So, tell me. What happened after you found her? You said you’re her dad?”  

He chuckles nervously and says. "Well… uhm. She is biologically mine, but I never knew about her until I met her. It… it's a long story."

"Oh, well darling. It’s a good thing I've got all the time I’ve left to live then." Jo says softly as she reaches out for one of Jay's hands. Silently comforting his rising emotions.

Jay takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling for a while before he starts to tell her the whole story. Beginning with how he met her at the grocery store a few weeks ago, how he found her again last week, and bringing her to the hospital. Having his brother examine her and how Will found out that he is her father. He briefly tells her about his time after the army, how he was a mess, and that he doesn’t even remember her mother. He breaks then, still feeling guilty about not being there for Feline in the last few years.

“Oh dear, you can’t think like that. It’ll destroy you. All you can do is be there for her from now on, exactly like you’re doing already.”

Jay chuckles through his tears then. “That is exactly what Hailey said too. S-she’s my partner… from work. You know, after I told her about me and Feline she spent the whole day remodeling my guestroom for Feline with the rest of the team while I was in the hospital with her.”

“She sounds like a lovely woman,” Jo says sweetly.

Jay nods and swallows the last of his emotions away. “She really is. Feline loves her too.”

They fall into a comfortable silence then, both just silently sipping their coffees. Jay watches the children play together from his seat and just lets his thoughts wander for a while. He’s so happy to have Feline in his life now. He’d always wanted kids, but in the last few years, his job had always gone first. He didn’t have time to go on dates and settle down with someone. But now he knew that she would always come before his job, that he would take fewer risks at work because she would be waiting for him at night.

He thinks about Feline last week when he found her in that doomed house across the street, how she had been so fragile and so scared, a flicker of the girl who is now playing in the living room. He thinks about her reaction when they arrived here earlier and how she seems comfortable and happy now.

"You know," Jay speaks up, breaking the silence at the table. "When we pulled up her earlier, I could tell she was struggling. She froze for a moment, just staring at that house." he pauses, glancing back at the kids. "I think being back here maybe brought up some bad memories for her."

Jo looks at him sadly, tears forming in her eyes. "Oh, god. Why didn't I do anything to get her out of there?" she asks no one in particular.

Jay shakes his head quickly, leaning forward. "Hey, no. Don't go there. If I'm not allowed to feel guilty about the past then you aren't either." Jo chuckles softly at that. "You know, when she told me about you and Mason a few days ago, her face lit up with happiness. She told me about your dinners and playing with Mason and how she missed it. You meant so much to her.”

Jo wipes at her eyes, her voice breaking. "I should have done more."

"You did what you could," Jay says firmly, his hand reaching across to rest on hers for a moment. "The fact that she is now happily playing in your living room says enough about how safe she feels here. It's just that house that holds the bad memories. In here, there are only good ones." Jo nods, swallowing hard, and Jay sits back in his chair again. "Actually, that has something to do with why we came here. Feline and I were talking about school and where she would go while I'm still at work in the afternoon and she said she wanted to stay here."  

Tears well up again in Jo's eyes, but this time they're accompanied by a warm smile. "Oh, Jay. I'd love to. I've missed her so much, and I know Mason has too. We would both love it if she came here."

Jay exhales, the tension easing from his shoulders. "Thank you, Jo. That means everything. It's not easy for her to trust people, but with you, it's like…" He searches for the words. "It seems like she is just a kid again."

Jo smiles through her tears. "My door is always open for her. For both of you."

Jay's gaze softens, and he gives her a grateful nod. "Thanks, Jo. Really."

“Oh, it’s nothing. I can already tell that she inherited a lot of good things from you and I don’t just mean the looks.” She jokes, but her voice is tender. “But, tell me. Have you been looking at schools yet?”

“Oh yeah. We visited one before we came here, actually. We loved it, especially Mr. Wiggles, so I signed her up right away, she starts next week.”

“Mr. Wiggles?! Mason goes there too. Well, he is still in kindergarten, but they all know about Mr. Wiggles over at the elementary building. He can’t wait to go there next year.”

They both laugh at the coincidence and then Jay comments. “That’ll make pick-up a lot easier, I guess.”

Jo and Jay chat about their lives for a while longer. Jay tells her more about his work, and the unit, how they’re one big family. He tells her about his first week with Feline, their trip to the store, and Will and Hailey coming over.

Jo tells him how she decided to foster when she felt lonely after her husband died a few years ago. She had always loved kids, but they never got any of their own. She tells him a bit about the kids that have stayed with her so far.

“And then, seven months ago now, came Mason. He was only five and his parents went out on a date, he stayed home with the sitter. They never made it home, car accident. Three days later he was placed with me.”

Jay swallows looking over at the young boy. “He didn’t have any family?”

Jo shakes her head. “His parents were both only children and his grandparents were either dead or in a retirement home.”

“Poor boy.”

“Yeah, he had a pretty hard time in the beginning, but they became friends fast. The first time they met was the first time I heard him laugh.”

“I’m glad they had each other, that they still do.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jo says, and then she calls over the kids to come eat a cookie and drink their lemonade.

They come rushing over and settle on the two empty chairs. Both grab a cookie and take a big bite. "Mr. Jay, what do you do for work?" Mason asks with his mouth still full.  

They all chuckle a little at the muffled question and Jo reminds him to swallow before speaking, but Jay answers anyway. "Just Jay is fine, buddy. And I'm a cop, detective specifically."

Mason shoots upright in his chair, hurriedly chewing his bite away so he can ask his next question. “Do you catch criminals?” He asks in disbelief.

After that, there is no stopping him anymore. One question after the other is fired at Jay about his job and eventually about his personal life too.

"Okay, Mason. I think you have interviewed Jay enough now, let him breathe," Jo eventually interrupts.

"One last question, this one is really important." He pleads to her with his best puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, one more. But then you've got to let them go home, okay?" Jo gives in.

Mason nods and turns back to Jay. "Are you gonna hurt Feline like Mr. Tate did?"  

"Mason." Jo immediately scolds him as she looks at him a little angry. "I'm so sorry he said that. We're still working on his manners." Jo apologizes to Jay.

"No, No. It's okay." Jay says. The question catches him off guard a bit but he doesn’t mind. He has no time to think about the confirmation Mason has just given him before he stands up and glances at Feline. She has stopped eating but at least isn’t hyperventilating yet, so he hopes she is okay. Jay kneels in front of Mason’s chair and grabs both of his hands, looking him in the eye. "I promise you, Mason, that I will never ever hurt Feline. That is not how you treat other people. I want you to know that what Tate did was very wrong and that no one should ever do that, not to you, and not to anyone else. If you ever know anybody that does something like that, I want you to tell someone, okay?"

Mason nods hesitantly, his small brow furrowed as he processes Jay's words. He glances over at Jo for reassurance, and she gives him a soft, encouraging smile. "Okay," he finally whispers.

Jay squeezes Mason's hands gently and adds, "You're a good kid, Mason." He stands up and walks over to where Feline is sitting. He gently puts a hand on her shoulder. "you okay?" He asks and she nods, but Jay doesn’t fully believe her and says. “Let’s go home.”

Feline stands up and silently gives a hug to both Mason and Jo before walking towards the front door. Jay also hugs Jo and ruffles Mason’s hair before the three of them follow Feline. He helps her with her jacket before he puts on his own. “It was so nice to meet you, Jo. I’ll text you the details for school pick-up next week.” Jay says as he opens the door for Feline and they step outside. “Bye Mason.”

“Bye Jay, bye Feline,” Mason says and they wave to him as he walks back into the house.

Feline walks to the gate in the front yard but stops when she notices that Jay is still at the door, Jo is now standing on the threshold.

“Thank you, for talking to Mason, Jay,” Jo says kindly and pats his upper arm. “You’re a good dad.”

Jay looks at her, startled, then shakes his head with a modest smile. "I don't know, I'm still trying to figure it all out.”

Jo smiles knowingly. "That's more than enough."

Jay nods. “T-thank you.” He gives her one last smile and turns around to Feline, walking towards her. She opens the gate and they fall into step beside each other as they walk to the car.

Jo watches them leave from the doorway. She notices the way Jay looks at Feline, the complete adoration in his eyes for that small girl. She likes him, he seems good for her. He might seem tough on the outside but she knows, even after only one shared coffee, that this man has a good and soft heart. And as much as Jo wishes she had done more in the past, she feels a sense of peace knowing that Feline is now in the hands of someone who would do everything he can to protect her.

They are in the car on their way to Hailey and Vanessa’s apartment. It’s a Saturday and the team planned a get-together for Hailey’s birthday, even though that was already a few weeks ago. They just simply didn’t have a weekend any earlier when they could all come.

Hailey had offered Jay an out after Feline came to live with them but he had declined, saying that they would come, but just might not stay that long. He wanted Feline to meet the rest of his family, especially Makayla. He has a feeling that they could get along well. He heard from Kim that Makayla was very excited to meet Feline, glad that she would not be the only child at the party anymore.

Jay glances at Feline through the rearview mirror, she is fumbling with the drawing she made for Hailey in her lap. He had asked to see it before they left, but he wasn’t allowed.

“Hey, Feline. Wanna go over who will be there one more time?” he asks when he notices how nervous she is.

Feline looks up and gives him a grateful nod.

“Okay. Well, it’s for Hailey’s birthday so she will be there. Her roommate, Vanessa is there too.” Jay starts. “We have Kevin. He looks very big and tough, but he is just a big teddy bear. And then we have Kim and Adam with their daughter Makayla whom I told you about.”

“They nice?” Feline asks softly.

“They are all very nice, and excited to meet you. But if it’s too much and you just wanna hang with me or Hailey, or even go home, that’s okay too. I did hear though, that Makayla is bringing her bracelet kit to make bracelets with you.”

Feline’s face lights up at the mention of a creative activity and Jay can’t help but smile proudly at her excitement.

Ten minutes later, after ringing the doorbell, they are waiting in front of Hailey’s door. Feline is nervously and excitedly shifting her weight between her feet. She is curious to know what Hailey will say about her drawing and can’t wait to show her.

“Hey, you two. I’m glad you came.” Hailey says as she opens the door for them.

“Happy to be here,” Jay says as Feline immediately extends the rolled-up piece of paper towards Hailey with a proud grin.

Hailey takes it from her. “This for me?” She asks, and after Feline gives her an excited nod, she unrolls it.

There is a big red heart drawn on it, with two people standing in the middle. One figure is bigger with yellow hair and blue eyes, Hailey assumes that that one is supposed to be her. The other is smaller and holds the bigger figure’s hand. They have brown hair and green eyes, probably Feline.

“Oh, wow, Feline. Thank you so much,” Hailey says as she opens her arms.

Feline happily steps into the hug and then into the apartment. Jay also greets Hailey with a hug and follows her inside. He pulls off his jacket while Hailey helps Feline with hers and then they walk to the living room to greet the rest. Feline freezes as Hailey and Jay walk further into the apartment. They realize she isn’t following them after a few steps and turn around.

Jay extends his hand towards Feline. “Come on, we’re with you. I promise they don’t bite.”

Feline shyly grabs his hand and walks with them into the living room. As soon as she sees all the people filling the space, Feline hides behind Jay. One of the women stands up and approaches them. She gives Jay a quick hug, which he returns with only one arm, the other still holding on to Feline. Then she crouches down in front of her and Feline squeezes Jay’s hand a little tighter. He gives back a short reassuring squeeze and Feline spares a quick glance up at him and Hailey. Both of them are looking back at her with a soft smile and it settles a little calm inside her chest. She looks back at the woman in front of her and sees how she gives her a small wave.

“Hi, I’m Kim. And you must be Feline. It’s nice to meet you. I like your shirt. Is that a dolphin?” She asks with a kind and calm voice.

Feline nods as she glows up from the compliment. She immediately feels a little more relaxed and takes a small step away from behind Jay. She knows who Kim is, Jay has told her a bit about her. She had given him advice about school because she has a daughter herself.

Kim turns around and starts pointing at the other guests in the living room. “Over there, we’ve got Kevin and Vanessa,” She explains, and both of them give Feline a wave before Kim continues. “That is my partner Adam and at the table is our daughter, Makayla.”

Makayla looks up and comes over, standing beside her mom. “Hi, I’m making friendship bracelets. Do you want to learn?”

Feline hesitates, she wants to go play, but she isn’t sure if she is ready to let go yet. She looks up at Jay and Hailey with questioning eyes.

They both give her an encouraging nod. “It’s okay. We won’t be far,” Jay says.

Feline takes a deep breath and gives Makayla a nod, letting go of Jay’s hand and following her to the dinner table.

Hailey watches her go and then looks over at Jay’s worried stare after Feline. She elbows him in the side and says. “Relax, Jay. Mak’s got it covered, she’ll be fine.”

“Mhm,” Jay hums a little tense, but he moves on to greet the rest anyway. When he is done he takes a strategically chosen seat where he can keep an eye on Feline.

Feline really likes Mak. They have been making bracelets together for a while now and she can feel that she is comfortable around the other girl. Makayla showed her how to make the knots patiently, even though it was quite the struggle for Feline in the beginning with her cast. She also doesn’t seem to mind that Feline is shy and doesn’t say much. Right now, they are quietly knotting beside each other and Feline has completely forgotten about the rest of the party a few feet away.

That is, until something funny is said and they all break out in loud laughter. Feline freezes immediately, triggered by the noise. She drops the strands she was holding and stares at the back of the chair in front of her. Her breath hitches initially but then continues like normal.

Makayla notices instantly, recognizing her reaction. She slowly reaches out and gently lays her hand on Feline’s arm. “Feline?” she asks softly when she doesn’t react to the touch. Again, no reaction. Makayla looks over at Jay but he is consumed in a conversation with her dad and she doesn’t want to bother him. Besides, she is pretty sure she knows how to handle this. “Feline, it’s okay. I know, they can be loud sometimes, especially my dad. But they are just having fun, you’re okay.”

Feline blinks rapidly and then nods, taking a deep breath. There is a slight blush on her cheeks and she looks down at Makayla’s hand gently rubbing her arm and then the bracelet she was working on, but she doesn’t continue working.

Makayla notices how Feline is a little embarrassed. “It took me a while to get used to it too.” She opens up.

Feline looks up at her with a confused face, her brow furrowed.

“When I first started living with my mom,” Makayla explains. “Everything was new and different and I was scared. I couldn’t sleep because I had these terrifying nightmares. So, I know it’s hard, but it gets better. I have this amazing family that helped me through it and you’re part of it now too, you know. We’re cousins.”

Before Feline can say anything in response to that, Kevin walks over to the kitchen behind them and pours himself a drink. “You girls want anything to drink?” He asks.

“Can I have juice?” Makayla asks.

Kevin nods and looks over at Feline. “A-also juice, p-please?” She stutters quietly.

“You got it,” He says and pours them both a glass, then sets them down in front of them on the table. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, Uncle Kevin.”

“T-thank you.”

“No problem,” he says as he pats Makayla’s shoulder and then returns to the rest of the group with his own drink.

“Mak, Feline, pizza is here,” Kim calls out seconds after the doorbell rings.

The girls move from the kitchen table to the living room to eat. Mak immediately moves to the pizza boxes, puts a few slices on her plate, and kneels at the table to eat. Feline watches from a small distance, hoping she’ll be like that too one day after what Makayla had told her earlier. She knows that it is possible now, that it’ll get better. Feline hopes she’ll call Jay dad in the future and the rest will be her aunts and uncles, that she won’t be nervous to talk with them and feel comfortable in their presence. She hopes the nightmares will end and that she’ll feel happy.

Hailey notices how Feline hesitates to come any closer while Jay prepares her a plate. She gestures for Feline to come sit in front of her on the ground, just like Mak. Feline shyly does and Jay hands her the plate with pizza, all different sorts because he doesn’t know what she likes yet.

“You can just leave it if you don’t like anything.” He tells her.

Feline slowly starts to eat, a little wary of all the new people around her, wanting to keep an eye on all of them. And also struggling to eat with only one hand since she doesn’t want her cast to become dirty.

When she has only eaten one slice fifteen minutes later and the pizza is getting cold, Jay taps her softly on the shoulder. “Want me to cut those down a bit, maybe heat them up a little?”

Feline gives him a grateful nod and Jay takes her plate to the kitchen. He returns a couple of minutes later and sets the plate back down in front of Feline before he sits back himself.

“You’re such a dad already,” Adam comments with a chuckle and the whole room falls silent. Feline freezes, her piece of pizza stilling in the air. She looks up at Adam with big surprised eyes.

Kim drops her piece of pizza on her plate and smacks Adam’s thigh next to her, hard, giving him a killing look.

Adam screeched out a high shriek, robbing the sore spot on his leg. “What was that for?”

Makayla giggles at her parents’ antics from beside her and Feline looks over at her and then back to Kim and Adam. A soft grin grows on her face, and there is even a breath of air that sounds a lot like a chuckle that escapes her lips. The moment is so funny that she can’t help it and Feline completely forgets what he said and happily continues eating.

Jay releases his breath behind her, happy that the crisis resolved itself.

When they arrive home later that evening, Feline is asleep in the backseat. It’s already dark outside. A lamppost softly illuminates Feline in a soft yellow light as Jay looks at her through the rearview mirror. He considers letting her sleep and just carrying her inside, but decides against it, not sure how she’ll react if she wakes up. He steps out, softly opens her door, and gently lays his hand on her knee. “Hey, Feline. Wake up, sweetie. We’re home.”

Feline slowly opens her eyes and groans, turning her head away from the light that is shining in her eyes from behind Jay.

“Ooh, I know. I know. Let’s get you to bed. Come on.” Jay says as he unbuckles Feline’s seatbelt and helps her out of the car. His hand hovers closely behind her back as they walk inside.

It’s not much later when Feline is comfortably tucked into bed, already half asleep again. Jay crouches beside her bed and brushes her arm through the blankets.

“Did you have a good time today?”

Feline nods slowly, a contented smile on her face. “Mak’s… nice.”

“Yeah, she is. I’m sure you’ll be best friends in no time.” Jay agrees.

Feline shakes her head slightly, her eyes already closed, too tired to keep them open. “Cousi’s,” she slurs before the light goes out completely and she is fast asleep.

Jay smiles to himself and stands up, giving her a soft kiss on top of the Head. "Good night, Fé."

Chapter Text

It’s the first morning that Feline goes to her new school and Jay starts at work again. They’re both a little nervous… or maybe a lot, and it shows, especially in Jay. He wakes up fifteen minutes early to pack Feline’s lunch and prepare their breakfast, then he wakes her up and they eat together. That all goes well and according to plan, until there are only five minutes left before they have to leave and Jay is still standing in his pyjamas. Feline isn’t, after eating he helped her get changed and then brushed her hair while she brushed her teeth, so she is ready to go, but Jay totally forgot about himself.

“Go put on your shoes. I’ll be right back,” he tells her and rushes off to put on some clothes. He picks the first thing he can find, even if it is a little mismatched, and then walks into the bathroom. Jay quickly splashes some water on his face and studies himself in the mirror. He regrets that he doesn’t have time to shave.

When he gets back Feline is waiting for him at the door, shoes untied but on, her backpack at her feet, and her jacket already in her arms. Jay kneels down to tie her shoes, helps with her jacket, and then hurriedly puts on his own. They are out the door exactly on time.

When they arrive at school, Jay opens Feline’s door and helps her down. He hands her her backpack and crouches to her height. “You ready?”

Feline nods and looks to the side. Jay follows her gaze and sees the girl that Feline played with last week standing by the entrance, watching them. When he looks back at Feline there is a small smile growing on her face.

“Alright, I’ll see you tonight. Be brave.”

Feline nods and starts walking towards the girl, when she reaches her she turns back around and gives him a small wave. Jay waves back and watches them until they are inside before he gets back in the car and drives to work.

Feline follows Emily through the halls of the school as they walk towards their class. She keeps telling Feline about every class they pass, the teacher, and which grade, and sometimes there is a fun fact. Feline tries to soak up all the information but she knows she won’t remember it all.

“Are you in pain?” Emily suddenly asks when they take the third right turn.

Feline looks at her in surprise, she thought she was hiding it pretty well.

“It’s just… You keep shifting your bag and some steps your face shifts weirdly,” Emily admits a little sheepishly, a slight blush covering her cheeks. “I’m sorry if I overstepped.”

Feline looks down at the ground and quietly says. “It’s okay. It’s my backpack. My ribs… they…” She trails off then not knowing how to finish the sentence.

“I can carry it for you if you want, I don’t mind.”

Feline hesitates for a moment, but then her bag pokes one of her bruised ribs again and she winces. She slides her bag carefully off her shoulders and hands it over to Emily. “Thank you.”

“My mom says I should always help someone if I can, it’s no problem,” Emily says. She puts her arms through the loops of Feline’s backpack hanging it against her stomach. “Look, now I’m pregnant.”

Feline breaks out in a laugh then, and Emily soon follows.

As soon as Jay is parked at the district he checks his phone to see if Feline is alright, but there’s nothing. ‘Stupid’ he thinks, her class has barely started. What could have gone wrong in this short period that they would have needed him for? Feline actually seemed less nervous than he was this morning. He gets lost in his thoughts, staring at his Home Screen picture of him and Feline asleep at the hospital, taken moments before Will told him the test results. Jay wonders what Feline is doing now, how she’s doing. If she’s met her teacher yet, and if she likes her. He wonders if she is thinking about him too, wishing he were with her, or if she has totally forgotten about him already, chatting away with her new friend. He hopes it’s the second, he is glad the girl was waiting for Feline before going inside, so that she wouldn’t have to walk in alone and find her classroom all by herself.

He is startled out of his thoughts by a knock on his window. It’s Kim. She motions for him to get out of the car, so he does. “Morning.”

“Good morning,” Kim replies. And they start heading inside. “How did drop-off go? Was she nervous or excited?”

Jay shrugs. “A little of both I guess.“

“Hey, I know how tough the first week is, for her, but also for you.” She rests a comforting hand on his arm. “But I also know that both of you will be fine at the end of it and that the next one will be slightly easier, okay?”

“Mhm,” Jay hums. “I hope so.”

“I know so. She’s stronger than she looks, you gotta believe in her.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I should.” Jay says with a bashful smile.

They are almost at the top of the back stairs now, entering the bullpen. “Alright, now let’s get to work. I’m sure you’ve missed it.”

Jay chuckles. “Hell yeah, I did.” He walks over to his desk while Kim heads towards the locker room.

“Oh, and Jay?” She turns around before she enters the hallway. “We’re all here for you, you know.”

“Thanks.” Jay gives her a nod and pulls off his jacket, draping it over the back of his chair. He walks into the break room to grab a cup of coffee before they get a case.

On his way in, Jay passes Adam, who is on his way out. “Hey Jay,” he pats him on the shoulder and says, “Busy morning, I see.” And then he leaves.

Jay turns around to ask Adam what he means, but he is already gone. He walks over to Hailey by the counter with a questioning look still on his face. “What did he mean by that?”

“Good morning to you too,” She says sarcastically while she passes him a mug of coffee.

“Thanks,” Jay says and watches as Hailey’s eyes roam up and down his body. Jay gets even more confused then. “Now, what is it?”

“Nothing, you just look… grubby,” Hailey replies as she pats his cheek twice at the word grubby and then walks away with her own cup of coffee.

Jay watches her leave and is left alone completely stunned, his mouth falling open slightly.

Feline’s first day at school is going well so far. She got to sit next to Emily after she met her teacher, Miss Fenner. A young woman with dark blonde hair which she wore in a long French braid leading down her back. She had on this purple sweater with a long skirt under it. Feline isn’t sure if she likes her yet, but she doesn’t not like her.

Miss Fenner had introduced Feline at the beginning of the day to the rest of the class, telling them to give her a warm welcome. She hadn’t made Feline stand up and tell them something about herself which she was grateful for, she hated doing that.

She had introduced her as Feline Halstead to the class, though, which felt a little weird. But not in a bad way. She knows that was her name now, and she doesn’t hate it. Quite the opposite, actually. It makes her feel like she belongs somewhere, in a family. It’s just the first time someone said it aloud, and Feline isn’t used to it yet.

Now it is lunchtime and Feline is sitting with Emily and two other girls from her class in the canteen. One of them just finished a story about her weekend. Something about her grandma and a pie Feline things, she isn’t sure, she wasn’t really listening, too deep in thought about her morning.

“Feline, what did you do this weekend?” Asks the other girl, Nori, Feline thinks.

“Oh… uh… I-I went to a birthday.”

“Who’s”

“Hailey’s. She is Jay’s friend,” Feline explains, then adds a bit more timidly. “And mine.”

“Who’s Jay?” Emily asks.

“He’s my… uh…” She struggles to find the right words, he’s just Jay, at least for now. How is she supposed to explain that to them? “I-I live with him.”

“He your dad?”

Feline shrugs. Technically he is, but she doesn’t feel ready to call him that yet. She also doesn’t want to explain the whole story to them so she just chooses the easier option. “I g-guess.”

The two other girls share a look at her vague answer, but Emily stays kind and interested. “Is he the one who dropped you off this morning?”

Feline nods, glad for the easier explanation of who he is. A face her friend can put to his name, no titles needed.

“He looked nice,” Emily prompts.

Feline doesn’t know what to say to that so she just hums.

“How did you break your arm?” One of the other two girls, Daisy, asks, joining back in on the conversation.

It’s an innocent question, Feline knows that, but it still makes her breath quicken. She looks away from their table and clenches her fist at her side, focusing on the pain of her nails digging into her palm.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell us,” Emily steps in and lays a gentle hand on Feline’s shoulder. “We understand if it wasn’t a happy experience.”

Feline nods slowly and lets out a long breath, she really doesn’t want to cry on her first day.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped Feline. I didn’t mean to.”

Feline nods again and gives Daisy a small and shy smile. These girls really didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable and it helps that she apologized but Feline still stays a bit shaken for the rest of lunch, quietly listening to the others chat.

Emily tells them how she broke her foot once when she was a baby. She had just learned how to walk and fell down the last three steps of the stairs while they were on vacation. She got a cast and went back to crawling, which her parents didn’t like.

It gets Feline smiling again and at the end of lunchtime, she has forgotten about the small hiccup already.

Jay parks the car back in its usual spot after he and Hailey picked up some lunch for everyone. Before he steps out, he checks his phone again quickly.

Hailey pauses from stepping out herself and lets out a soft sigh. “You’ve been doing that an awful lot today,” she comments.

“Huh?” Jay asks, locking his phone again after seeing no new notifications.

“Checking your phone.”

“I’m just worried,” Jay says as he gets out of the car and puts his phone back in his pocket, walking towards the district.

Hailey follows him, falling into step beside him as they walk towards the front door. “I get that, but no news is good news, Jay.”

Jay huffs. “Yeah, well, unless no news means she’s sitting in a corner unable to talk and nobody knows what is wrong or she’s having a panic attack or…”

“Or, she’s fine.” Hailey interrupts. “Look I know it’s her first day, that’s a big deal, for both of you. But you gotta let her find her own way. She needs to feel normal again. Be with kids her own age.”

“But… what if she needs me?” Jay asks, his voice breaking a little.

Hailey stops them right in front of the big doors, resting a comforting hand on Jay’s shoulder. “Then the school has your number, mine, Will’s, and… Trudy’s for all I know. They’ll call.”

Jay gives her a small nod and opens the door for both of them. They enter and walk up the stairs to the front desk. “She’s been through so much already, Hailey.”

“Yeah, and she’s still standing. Give her a little credit, Jay. Didn’t you tell me that she already made a friend last week, who was waiting for her this morning no less.

Jay throws his head back and groans, keeping the last door open just long enough so that Hailey can pass through too. Then he hurries off upstairs, leaving Hailey to deliver Trudy her lunch.

Hailey lets out a soft chuckle at Jay’s antics, shaking her head. She approaches the front desk and places the lunch bag on top of it.

Trudy eagerly takes it and looks at Hailey with a questioning look. “What has gotten into him?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just men, they’re unable to admit that we’re always right.” Hailey replies. “Enjoy your lunch.” And then she follows Jay back upstairs.

Her first day at her new school is already over. Feline can’t quite believe that it went so fast. Before, school always seemed to last forever. Today was fun. Of course, the work was still hard, but Emily helped her out a few times. Even asked the teacher when she didn’t understand either.

Feline really likes Emily. She is kind and caring and keeps on chatting, but not in an annoying way, in a way where she can just listen in silence and enjoy. Emily doesn’t seem to mind that she doesn’t say much and Feline is grateful for that, she can see them becoming great friends.

They walk out of the school together, Emily is still carrying Feline’s bag like she did the whole day. “I’ll walk with you to hand off your backpack,” She offers. “Who’s picking you up?”

“Jo. She was my neighbor before I lived with Jay. He has to work late, so he can’t come.” Feline doesn’t even hesitate before she speaks. She feels pretty comfortable around Emily now. With the other girls at lunch, she still felt a bit nervous, but after sitting together the whole day, she started to trust Emily.

“Ah, okay.” Emily nods.

“Feline!”

She looks up and a big smile appears on her face when she sees Mason running towards her. When he is almost there he slows down a bit and gives Feline a careful hug. “Hi, Mason.”

When they break the hug Emily and Mason exchange a quick hi and then the three of them walk to Jo, who is also coming their way.

“Hi sweetie, did you have a good day?” Jo asks when they meet in the middle and she gives Feline a hug.

“Yeah,” Feline whispers into her side before she steps back.

“Hi, Miss Jo. I’m Emily, Feline’s friend.” Emily introduces herself.

“Nice to meet you Emily, but you can just call me Jo, my dear.”

“Okay,” Emily agrees enthusiastically. “Here is Feline’s bag, Jo. I carried it for her the whole day because it was hurting her ribs.”

“Well thank you,” Jo says as she takes the bag from Emily and puts it over one of her shoulders. “You’re very kind.”

A new woman comes walking towards their little group. “Hey Emily, what are you doing over here, honey?”

Emily turns around and gives the woman a hug. “Hi Mom,” she greets. “I’m just handing off Feline’s bag. She’s the new girl I told you about. I helped her out the whole day, we’re friends now.”

“Oh, well, I should introduce myself then.” She responds and steps forward, offering her hand to Jo, who shakes it. “Lucy Braddock, Emily’s mom.”

“Nice to meet you, Josephine Green, but call me Jo, please. Family friend of Feline, just picking her up until her dad gets out of work.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other, but I’ve gotta go find my youngest, he should be around here somewhere too.”

“Good luck with that,” Jo chuckles.

“Thanks,” Lucy says. “Have a good day.”

“Yeah, you too”

Jay had never left work this fast at the end of the day before. As soon as Voight told them to go home, he packed up his stuff and walked out the door, only giving the rest a quick goodbye. He saw the amusement on their faces and heard the whispers when he walked down the stairs. But he didn’t care, he just wanted to get to Feline as fast as possible.

He knows that her day at school had gone well. Jo sent him a picture after school of Feline and Mason enjoying an apple with smiles on their faces. It helped settle his nerves about her first day, but it only made him want to be with her more. It’s a few hours later now and he finally can, so he’s not wasting his time chitchatting with his colleagues.

The drive to Jo’s isn’t too long but it feels like an eternity to Jay. When he finally arrives he hurriedly parks the car and walks up to Jo’s front door.

She opens the door for him with a warm smile. “It’s good to see you. Come in.” Jay steps inside and Jo closes the door behind him against the cold Chicago wind. She turns around and shouts in the direction of the living room. “Feline! Jay is here!”

It doesn’t take long before Feline appears in the hallway, followed by Mason. She has her backpack in her hands, already packed up again to take home. There is a shy smile on her face as she looks up at Jay.

“Hi,” he says, trying to hold back his own grin at seeing her again. He would love to chrouch down right now and have her run into his arms for a hug, but he knows they are not there yet, so Jay lets her set the pace.

“Hi, Jay!” Mason enthusiastically greets him back, along with a wave.

Feline follows his lead and gives Jay a shy wave. “Hi,” she whispers.

“You ready to go home?” he asks.

Feline nods and walks over to him, handing off her backpack and picking up her shoes. She sits down on the stairs to put them on and Jay patiently waits until he is needed to tie them up.

“I had a lot of fun with Feline today,” Mason starts telling, filling the silence. “We ate an apple out of school and then Feline had to make homework, which wasn’t fun, that was boring. But after we played with my Legos and we built this big castle. Really, it was like this big.” He exaggerates with his arms. “I’m so happy Feline will be here every day now.”

Jay laughs and kneels down to help Feline. “That’s great buddy. I’m sure Feline likes coming here too, right?”

Feline nods with a big smile on her face.

Jay wordlessly helps her put on her jacket, swing her backpack over his own shoulder, and then steps outside, Feline following. He turns back around on the front step and waves at Jo and Mason. “Bye, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

“Bye Jay, Bye Feline.” They choros back.

Feline gives them a small wave as well. “Bye.”

They get in the truck and Jay starts the drive home. “So… How was your first day?” He asks, no longer able to hold in his curiosity. Feline stays silent and he can see her shrug her shoulder in the rearview mirror. “Was it better or worse than you thought?”

“Better.”

“That’s good. Mine was worse,” Jay admits and he sees Feline’s head turn towards him in surprise. He smiles and explains. “I couldn’t focus, kept wondering how you were doing. Is your teacher nice?”

“I guess.” Feline answers, shrugging her shoulders again.

“Hard to say after one day, huh?”

Feline nods.

“Did you see Mr. Wiggles?” Jay asks next.

A big smile appears on Feline’s face again at the thought of the dog and she nods happily. “In the library, I needed a book for reading hour.”

The rest of the ride continues in the same fashion. Jay keeps asking her simple questions about her day, learning about what she did and liked bit by bit.

At home, they fall into the comforting routine they have built over the last two weeks. And, that night, both of them fall asleep a little easier than the day before, believing that tomorrow will be just a little easier than today.

Chapter Text

It’s Wednesday, Feline’s third day of school, and they are starting to get the hang of their morning routine. Jay has learned that he needs to get himself ready first, before he can help Feline. This means he isn’t standing in his pajamas anymore while he helps Feline brush her hair this morning.

“You want me to braid it again?” he asks once all the tangles are out. Jay had tried to make one for her yesterday and although it wasn’t the best, Feline had seemed quite happy with it.

But today she shakes her head. “Emily can do it,” she states softly.

“Emily? Your friend from school?” Jay asks a little confused and Feline nods. “Are her braids better than mine?”

Feline blushes and looks down at the sinks. “Yours are kinda… messy,” she admits shyly.

“Well, ouch!” Jay says while he lays a hand over his hurting heart. “I’m being defeated by a fourth grader.”

Feline lets out a small giggle and gives him a big smile. “You’re good at brushing.” She shrugs, hoping it will ease his pain.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Jay says. “I should just keep doing that then, huh? ‘cause clearly I’m hopeless at the braiding part.”

“No!” Feline says sternly, not letting him give up yet. “You just need to practice. You can still make them for bed.”

“Okay deal,” Jay agrees with a small proud smile. He watches as Feline steps down from her stool and leaves the bathroom. It seems like she is starting to warm up to him.

It’s a slow morning in the bullpen. Everyone’s trying to catch up on paperwork, everyone except Jay. He keeps thinking about his conversation with Feline that morning, how he still sucks at keeping her hair from becoming a mess. He watches as Hailey stands up to get another coffee, asking if he wants one too. He nods and hands her his mug. Now totally distracted from the file on his computer, Jay grabs his phone and secretly pulls up a tutorial, propped under the edge of his computer screen. He’s so focused on following the movements that he doesn’t notice Kevin calling out to him multiple times.

“Man, what’s so damn interesting?” Adam wonders aloud, finally standing up. He walks over to Jay’s desk and leans over his shoulder. “A braiding tutorial, huh?”

Jay nearly jumps out of his chair. “Christ, Adam. Stop sneaking.”

“I’m not sneaking. You’re just too locked in your dad mode. Kev called you, like, three times.”

Jay glances at Kevin, who nods. He flushes. “Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kevin grins.

“I get it, man. Braiding is tough,” Adam says. “I tried it on Mak for a while, but her hair is literally impossible. Even Kim doesn’t have the hang of it yet.”

Jay sighs. “I just don’t get it. How are you supposed to intertwine three strands with only two hands?”

“It’s not that hard,” Kim pipes up. “As long as the hair is straight.”

“Sure,” Jay mutters.

That’s when Hailey comes back, holding two mugs of coffee. She puts one down on Jay’s desk and spots the phone still playing the tutorial.

“Seriously?” she asks, eyebrows raised.

Adam immediately throws his hands up. “Wasn’t me. I was just curious.” He walks away, smirking.

Hailey looks back at Jay. He blushes and shrugs helplessly.

“You’re just like a high schooler who can’t stay off their damn phone for five minutes,” she sighs and then reaches down to grab his phone before Jay can react.

“Hey!” he protests.

Hailey ignores him, settles at her own desk, and slips the phone into a drawer. “You’ll get it back once your paperwork’s done, or if the school calls.”

Jay rolls his eyes and slumps back in his chair, grabbing his own coffee. “Fine, but Feline’s messy hair is on you then.”

That night, after they get home and Feline has dropped her back in her room, Jay asks from the couch. “Feline? Can you come sit with me for a second, I’d like to talk with you about something.”

Feline looks a little scared, but sits down on the couch anyway, her legs drawn up under her.

“It’s nothing bad,” Jay reassures and he can see her shoulders relax a little. “I’d like to get you into therapy.”

Feline looks away at the ground and fidgets with a loose thread of her clothes.

“It could help with your nightmares and other stuff that has been bothering you.” Jay tries, but Feline gives no reaction, so he tries to think of another way. “I told you I used to have nightmares too, right? After I was in the army.”

She looks up and gives him a small nod, curious where he is going with this.

“Hailey got me into therapy back then. I didn’t like it at first, thought it wasn’t for me. However, the sessions eventually started to help, and I was able to sleep better. It made me feel a lot better, even though I had to sit in an office and rip my heart out every week.” He pauses, smiling softly at Feline as she attentively listens to him. “But that is the good thing about the therapy I found for you, you won’t have to do that. With this therapy, you get to play and draw and build stuff, even play games and you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

They stay silent for a while, Jay giving her the time to process all of the information. He can almost see the wheels turning inside her head while she thinks about it.

“What do you say? Is it okay if I make an appointment for you? Just an introduction so they know who you are.”

Feline looks down at her lap, still fidgeting with the thread. “Will you come?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there with you.”

Feline gives him a small grateful smile. “Then yeah, I want to try.”

The next day Feline and Emily are sitting on the edge of the playhouse during recess. Their feet swing softly over the edge while they are engulfed in a quiet conversation. A ball rolls by them, and one of the boys playing with it comes running after it. He slows down in front of the girls and looks Feline up and down, taking in some of her fading bruises and her cast, giving her a weird look. It makes Feline feel a bit uncomfortable, and she hunches her shoulders a little. She ignores him though, instead focusing on what Emily is telling her. Luckily the boy moves on and picks up the ball, shooting it back to his friends. On his way back, he stops in front of them though, making Emily stop her story.

“How did you get hurt like that?” He asks bluntly.

Feline shrugs and looks down at her hands. It’s none of his business, she doesn’t even know him.

“What? Did you get beaten up or something?”

Feline flinches at his bold question and draws her knees up to her chest, hugging them close. Emily watches her reaction and gives the boy an angry look, she doesn’t like him. He’s making her friend uncomfortable.

The boy notices her reaction too and grins. “Ha, you did, didn’t you?”

“Go away!” Emily yells, but he completely ignores her and continues looking at Feline.

“Was it your daddy?”

That’s the last straw for Emily, she jumps down from the playhouse and steps right in front of the boy. He’s taller than her, but that doesn’t scare her off. She looks him in the eyes and repeats. “I said. Go A-Way!”

The boy steps back and throws his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, calm down. It was just a joke.”

Emily steps after him, her face red with anger. “No it wasn’t. It was mean!” The boy huffs and rolls his eyes, but Emily doesn’t give up. “Besides it's none of your damn business.”

“Okay, whatever.” He mumbles and walks away.

Emily watches him go with a proud smile and then turns back to Feline. Her smile falls as she looks at her friend. Feline has pushed herself back against the wall of the playhouse, her knees still drawn up to her chest and her arms tight around them. Emily gives her a concerned look and climbs back on to sit next to her.

“Feline?”

But there is no reaction. Feline just keeps staring at the ground in front of her, her body totally frozen. Emily carefully lays a hand on her shoulder, but that also doesn’t give her any reaction from Feline. She doesn’t know what to do anymore and looks around for help, luckily their teacher is close by.

“Ms. Fenner! Something’s wrong with Feline,” she calls out, and their teacher immediately comes over.

“Hey, what’s going on?” she asks calmly while she takes in Feline’s state.

“I… I don’t know, this boy said something mean and I told him to go away, but then she was like this, it’s like she’s frozen!”

“Alright, take a breath, Emily. It’s good that you called me, I’m sure she’s fine.”

Emily nods and watches as Ms. Fenner goes to stand in front of Feline.

“Hey, Feline. You okay?” She asks softly, but she doesn’t get a reaction either. Feline just keeps staring, like her teacher isn’t even there.

Then the bell suddenly rings, and Emily gets slightly startled, but Feline doesn’t respond at all. Normally, she is the one who jumps, but now it’s like she didn’t even hear it. The other kids start lining up at the door, and they have to go inside too.

“Come on,” Ms. Fenner motivates as she gently grabs one of Feline’s hands. “Let’s go inside.” She softly nudges Feline to move and luckily she does. Feline slowly stands up, still wearing the same blank expression, like she is not in her own body anymore. But she follows her teacher as she gently guides her off the playhouse and to the rest of the class. Feline strays off on her own to join the end of the line and Emily follows her. The teacher watches with a surprised look, but decides to leave it for now and come back to it later when there is more time.

That time comes about half an hour later, when the class is all working independently on an assignment. Ms. Fenner crouches down at Feline’s desk. She’s watched the girl over the last half hour, but not much has changed yet. Feline’s quiet and seems to move robotically. It worries her that the girl appears to be stuck in this state and she doesn’t know what to do.

“Hey, Feline? I really want to help, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what happened, alright sweetie?”

Feline stops writing on her paper and squeezes her eyes shut, her knuckles turning white around her pencil.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ms. Fenner says, reaching out to cover Feline’s hand, but she pulls away. “Do you wanna step outside? So we can talk.” Feline shakes her head and her teacher lets out a soft sigh. “Should I leave you alone for a little longer?”

Feline nods timidly, not looking up from her desk.

“Okay, you can come to me if you change your mind,” her teacher says and then she gets up again, returning to her own desk.

At the end of the day, Feline still hasn’t said a word, to her teacher or Emily. She seems a little less robotic, but she’s still not herself. She avoids eye contact and keeps making herself as small as possible. Ms. Fenner decides to write a note to her dad, to fill him in on the situation, and hopefully, he can get her to talk about it.

When Jo opens the door for him that night, Jay immediately notices something is off. Jo tries to hide it, but he can see that her smile doesn’t reach her eyes today and it worries him.

“Hey, everything okay?” He asks as he steps through the door.

Jo closes the door behind him and waits before walking inside. “I don’t know. I don’t want you to worry, but I think something happened at school today. Feline isn’t herself. She hasn’t said a word, didn’t want to play with Mason, and barely touched her dinner.”

Jay nods, the muscles in his face tensing. This is it, he’s been dreading this moment the whole week. He’d finally started to believe that, maybe, Feline would settle in at school without a bump, but he knew it would be too good to be true.

He follows Jo into the living room and sees Feline curled up on the couch. It’s like walking into her hospital room the second day all over again. Feline has made herself as small as possible in the corner of the couch. A strip is laid open in front of her, but Jay isn’t sure if she is actually reading it or just lost in thought.

“She has been like this the whole time,” Jo comments softly as they watch her from the doorway. “I don’t know what happened, but it’s not good. She had a hard time getting out of the car and I saw her staring at the house a few times.”

Jay swallows the lump in his throat and nods, he doesn’t know what to say. It hurts to see her like this again. He’d much rather see the vibrant smile that has greeted him out of work the last few days, the one that makes his whole day every time.

There are soft footsteps behind him on the stairs and Jay turns around. “Hi, Jay,” Mason greets a little sadly as he comes down the hall towards him.

“Hey, Mason. You okay?” Jay asks slightly worried. Mason is always so full of energy and happy to see him, it’s weird to see him a little down.

The boy stops between Jo and Jay and looks at Feline. “I’m worried,” he admits.

Jay reaches out and softly ruffles the boy's half-long hair. “Yeah, me too buddy.”

Mason turns around and looks up at Jay. “She used to be quiet when she was hurt before.” He explains and then his voice turns a little more emotional and desperate. “You didn’t hurt her, right? You promised.”

Jay crouches down immediately, and holds his hands, looking him in the eye. “I didn’t Mason. I promise.”

Mason nods, and Jay reaches out to wipe a stray tear from the boy’s cheek. “I’m sorry for thinking that.”

“It’s okay,” Jay reassures as he rubs his upper arm. “You were just looking out for her, I get it. But she is gonna be okay, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Okay,” Mason says.

“Come here.” Jay opens his arms for a hug and Mason steps forward and wraps his short arms around his neck.

When they pull apart, Jay squeezes his arm one last time and then walks over to Feline. He sits down on the edge of the couch and reaches for her ankle. Feline looks up at him, her eyes completely hollow. Jay would really like to take all her pain away right now, but he can’t, so he says. “Let’s go home okay?” And offers her his hand.

Feline takes it silently and slowly gets off the couch, letting Jay help her with putting on her shoes and jacket even though she can do it herself now, even with the cast.

At home, things don’t get any better. Feline stays completely silent, only nodding or shaking her head when Jay asks her something. They sit in front of the TV for a while before it is time for bed, Feline tucked into Jay’s side under a blanket. He’s glad she at least still lets him come close, but it doesn’t lessen his worry about what happened today either. Instead, it only grows more the longer Feline stays silent. So when he reads her an extra chapter that night in the hope that it will put her more at ease and help her sleep better, then that is between him and her. But it doesn’t help him sleep better and he lies awake for hours, his mind filled with worry about what happened.

It feels like minutes after Jay finally falls asleep, that he wakes up again. He can hear a soft noise in the apartment, but it’s not the same as when Feline is crying after a nightmare, like normal. It’s more like she’s moving around. Jay gets out of bed and goes to investigate. The noise is clearly coming from Feline’s room and when Jay gets closer he can hear an occasional hitch in her breath coming through the small crack in the door. He pushes the door open a little further and looks inside.

Feline is out of bed, struggling to take off her bedding. Her movements are uncontrolled and panicky. She’s clearly trying to be quiet but also as fast as possible. Jay doesn’t understand why she wants to remove her bedding until he sees the wet spot in the middle of her bed and her soaked pajamas.

He opens the door to step inside, and it creaks a little. Feline’s attention shoots to him. She immediately moves back against the wall furthest from the door and makes herself small on the ground. She starts whimpering, but Jay can’t hear what she’s saying until he crouches on the ground in front of her.

“P-please, d-don’t be m-mad, p-please,” She keeps repeating in between sobs.

Jay thinks for the hundredth time about how he would love to beat some sense into Tate if the guy wasn’t already dead. But he can’t let his anger show to Feline, who is already terrified, he needs to be calm and gentle. He slowly reaches for her ankle and F jumps when he touches her, she doesn’t pull away. Jay starts rubbing comforting circles on her skin and keeps his voice soft and genuine when he says. “I’m not, Feline. It’s okay, I’m not mad. Accidents happen, it’s okay.”

Feline shyly looks up from where she is hiding her face between her knees. Her eyes are bloodshot and her cheeks are wet. She’s breathing irregularly and fast, unable to keep the sobs in any longer.

“You’re okay. Just breathe, honey.” Jay encourages.

Feline starts to follow his slow deep breath, while he keeps rubbing her ankle and after a few minutes, she is calm again. “I-I’m s-sorry.” She stutters out barely audible.

“It’s okay. You did nothing wrong, sweetie. It was an accident, we’ll fix it.”

Feline nods slightly and wipes the last tears from her face, looking down at her wet pants.

“Let’s get you cleaned up first, okay?” Jay suggests and helps her up off the floor. He lets her choose a clean pajama set and then they move to the bathroom. Feline strips out of her wet clothes and Jay hands her a washcloth to clean up a bit. While Feline gets dressed again, Jay moves to her room and takes off her bedding, throwing it directly into the washer. When he’s done, Feline is waiting in the living room. She’s trembling and holds her arms close to her chest, she’s clearly still afraid and it doesn’t feel right to Jay to lay her back in her own bed, alone. He gets an idea and he doesn’t know if it’s more because she looks so scared right now or because he wants to keep an eye on her, but he doesn’t care.

“Do you wanna sleep in my room for the rest of the night?” He offers. Feline looks down a little unsure and shrugs her shoulders. “It’s a big bed, I’ll stay on my side…” She looks up again and nods shyly, her shoulders relaxing a bit. “Alright. Come on, grab Pelle I’m sure he doesn’t want to be alone.”

Feline rushes into her room and quickly returns with the bear, and his hoodie, which is now hers. Jay guides her into his room and flips open the duvet for her. Feline sits down on the edge of the bed and fumbles with the hoodie.

“You wanna put that on?” Jay asks her softly.

Feline nods and Jay helps her pull it over her head and find the armholes. When it’s on Feline lies down quietly on her back. Jay tucks her in and walks around to his own side, crawling into bed and positioning himself on the edge to give Feline as much space as possible.

“I’m right here if you need me,” He reminds her. “Sleep well, honey.”

Jay turns off the light and rolls onto his side facing away from Feline to make her more comfortable. But it doesn’t make him more comfortable. He stays wide awake and hyper aware of every sound and movement from Feline. It doesn’t take long before he hears her quietly sniffling again. Jay’s heart breaks at the soft and broken sound. He’d really like to know what happened, what she’s thinking right now, or how he could fix this. But he knows that she is not ready to talk yet, so the only thing he can do, is be there for her and help her through this.

Jay carefully turns around and shuffles a little closer to Feline. The room is dark, but the city lights coming through the curtains illuminate how she still lies stiffly on her back. He reaches out with both arms to Feline.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay.” Feline jumps when he touches her but lets him pull her into his arms. “It’s okay, it’s just me. You can cry it all out, I’m here.” Painful sobs start to break loose from Feline then, and Jay pulls her even closer. Her cold feet bump against his thigh, but Jay doesn’t care, he just wants her to feel safe. He rests her head on his upper arm and folds the remainder of his arm along her back. His other arm is draped around her, gently stroking her hair just above her ear.

Feline’s whole body is tense and she clutches onto Jay’s shirt as well as her bear as she lets the sobs come out. They stay like that quietly in the dark. Eventually, Feline’s cries slow and then stop completely, exhaustion taking over. Her breath evens out and her body relaxes, falling asleep peacefully in her father’s arms. Jay gives her a soft kiss on the head and falls asleep shortly after, finally able to sleep now that she is safely in his arms.

Chapter Text

Jay yawns widely as he climbs up the stairs into the district on Friday. He raises his hand to cover it, but Trudy still catches him.

“You tired, Chuckles?” She asks from behind her desk, holding a stack of papers she is organizing.

“Mhm, long night…” Jay mumbles, making his way straight upstairs.

Trudy raises her eyebrows in confusion. Normally, he would come over to say hello to her for a minute, or at least correct her on not using the term detective in front of his nickname. But today, he completely ignores her as he opens the gate up to intelligence. It must have been a really long night.

When Jay arrives upstairs, he slings his jacket over his chair and heads directly to the break room. He’s in desperate need of some coffee. Hailey walks in a minute later, catching him in the middle of another yawn as he is waiting for the pot.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” she chimes. But her smile quickly disappears when Jay looks up. She takes in his worried expression, and the bags under his eyes. Her expression softens, already knowing. She walks over next to him and gives him a concerned look. “Hey? Is everything okay?”

“No,” Jay shakes his head, and pulls a piece of paper from his pocket. He unfolds it and hands it to her. Hailey quickly reads it.

To the parent/caregiver of: Feline Halstead

Today at school… Feline had an incident during recess. She became unresponsive after another pupil made a mean comment. Our sincerest apologies. This student will be facing consequences.

Feline refused to talk about what happened, remaining silent and withdrawn for the rest of the day.

I hope she will talk about what happened with you and that she’ll be back to her old self soon.

Your child’s teacher: Ms. Fenner

“I found it in her bag this morning,” Jay explains. “I already knew something was wrong. She didn’t say a word yesterday. I was so worried about her, I couldn’t sleep. And then she wet her bed, probably had another nightmare too. She… she was trying to clean her bed before even cleaning herself, b-because she thought I’d be mad.”

Hailey notices how his eyes turn glassy and his grip on the counter intensifies. “Oh, Jay. Come here.” She pulls him into a warm hug and feels him relax again. “She’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

They pull apart again and pour the coffee into two mugs before sitting down at the table. Jay takes a sip of his coffee and sighs as he puts it down. “I-I don’t know how to help her.” He confesses while he looks straight ahead. “I don’t want to push her to talk before she is ready, but… I-I also can’t stand seeing her like this. It-it’s like she’s trapped inside herself.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Hailey encourages as she rests a comforting hand on his arm. “It might take some trial and error, but I know you won’t give up on her.” Jay nods, but she can see that he doesn’t believe her quite yet. “You’ve been doing amazing with her, Jay. A little trouble doesn’t make you a bad parent.”

A small proud smile grows on Jay’s face as he thinks back on all the progress he has made with Feline over the last two weeks already. “T-Thank you.”

“Of course. Is she at school now?”

“Yeah, I offered her to skip, but she didn’t want to…”

Feline had wanted to say yes so badly this morning, when Jay asked if she wanted to stay home.

Going back to school was the last thing she’d wanted. All the people, the noise, the chance that someone might notice again, might ask. She didn’t want any of it. But still, she’d shaken her head.

She didn’t want to bother Jay any more than she already had in the last day. He’d looked tired that morning. He hadn’t slept much, not after last night, and she knew it was her fault, the nightmare, the meltdown, her bed. He’d had to clean up after her like she was a little kid. The least she could do was not make him miss work too.

And what would staying home change, anyway? She’d have to go back on Monday either way.

She had still frozen when she had to walk inside though. Emily had waited outside for her again and Jay had just dropped her off. He was still standing by the car waiting for her to walk inside, like always. Feline had looked back at him hesitantly. She could still change her mind, run back to him. But Emily had grabbed her hand and dragged her inside, Feline is happy she did.

The first few hours at school actually haven’t been so bad. She had still stayed quiet and kept to herself, but it didn’t seem to be a problem. So far everybody had acted like nothing happened yesterday, even her teacher. Emily has kept up the chatter, compensating for her silence and she even succeeded in making Feline laugh a few times.

It’s recess now and Feline starts to feel nervous again. She tenses by the door outside while Emily keeps walking. She notices quickly that her friend hasn’t followed and turns around.

She grabs Feline’s hand again. “Nobody is gonna be mean, I’ll protect you,” Emily says, and then drags her to a quiet corner of the playground. They sit down on a stone edge and look out at the pedestrians and cars that pass by the school. “You excited for art today? You like drawing, right?”

Feline smiles softly at the reminder of their next class. She’d totally forgotten that that was today with all that has happened in the last twenty-four hours. She looks up shyly at Emily and nods.

“You’ll like it. The teacher is great. He’s funny and even lets us chat as long as we keep working. We’re actually starting a new project today. We just finished our landscapes, we had to…”

Emily tells Feline about all the different art projects they have done at school. Feline listens contentedly as she watches the people and dogs that pass by. Before she knows it the bell already rings, signaling the end of recess.

Jay doesn’t know how his day had turned from bad to worse in a matter of a few hours. It started with his lack of sleep and worry about Feline that morning, which made it hard for him to focus on his paperwork. Then they finally caught a case, which woke him back up a bit. But then, not that much later, he was standing over his CI, dead, a bullet gone straight through his skull. And now he’s back at the district, hiding away in the locker room, trying to get his thoughts back in order.

He’s sat down on one of the benches, leaning back against the wall and staring out in front of him. Jay doesn’t know how long he’s been gone for, but he guesses it’s been about fifteen minutes when Hailey walks in and sits down across from him, straddling the bench.

“Talk to me,” is the only thing she says while she looks straight in the eye.

Jay sighs, annoyed, but at the same time grateful that she knows him so well. “I-I promised him, Hailey. I promised him that he’d be safe, said that I’d protect him, and I… I didn’t. I-I failed him.”

Hailey gives him an unimpressed look and Jay knows that she can see right through him. “We make that promise to all of them, Jay. You know we can’t always keep it.” She calls out. “So what makes it so hard this time?”

He sighs again and rests his head back against the wall, staring at the ceiling. “I… I promised Fé the same thing. What if I can’t keep that either? Look at what happened yesterday, I couldn’t protect her from that.”

“Maybe you couldn’t in the moment, but you can protect her now, by teaching her how to handle it the next time. Because there will be a next time, you can’t prevent that.”

Jay nods and sighs again. “But how can I help her when she closes herself off completely?”

“You can’t, really,” Hailey says, her voice soft. She hesitantly looks down for a moment, fidgeting with her fingers before she continues. “She’s not ready to let you protect her yet. She’s been doing it herself for years, and closing herself off is how she does that. It’s hard for her to suddenly stop and let someone else do it. But she will let you in eventually, okay?” She reaches out and covers one of his hands with her own. “I know I did.”

When Jo goes to pick up Feline on Friday, she is totally different than the day before. Feline is smiling and laughing again with her friend when she walks out of the school, and even says goodbye to her before they part ways. She’s still smiling once she reaches Jo and Mason and gives both of them a quick hug.

Once they are home and the three of them sit down for a snack, she tells them everything about her awesome art class that day. She’s so excited that even Mason can’t come between her chatter. Jo doesn’t know what changed, but she is glad something did.

She and Mason are working on their homework at the kitchen table now, Feline can see that Mason is already almost done and sighs. She misses the days when she had only one homework page like him.

After he writes his last answer down, Mason drops his pencil and looks up at Feline. “Why didn’t you talk yesterday? You weren’t hurt, right? Jay said he didn’t hurt you.”

Feline tenses and looks down at her paper. So far, nobody had asked yet, but she should have known Mason would. “Jay didn’t hurt me,” she whispers, just loud enough for Mason to hear. “Nobody did, I was just a little sad, I’m fine now.”

“Okay, good,” Mason says. “Are you almost done, yet?”

Even though it’s a tough one for Jay emotionally, the case isn’t hard to solve, and they’re all able to get a relatively early weekend. But unlike the rest of the week, Jay doesn’t rush out to pick up Feline. He finds himself seated on the couch in the break room, his head in his hands.

He still feels bad about the events of the day, but he knows there’s nothing he could have done to prevent them. The realisation doesn’t help with his somber mood, though. It actually makes it a little worse. He wishes there was something he could have done to change the outcome.

On any other day of the week, Jay would have been happy to leave work and pick up Feline. To hear about her day and see her bright smile. But now he’s stalling, he’s scared that she’s still closed off, and he doesn’t know what to do if she is.

The couch dips next to him, and Jay looks to the side. Hailey has joined him and rests a comforting hand on his thigh. “Come on, let’s go home,” She says. “I’ll bring the pizza.”

Jay’s gaze flickers to her hand on his leg before he looks back up to her face and furrows his brow in question.

“What? Just because you’ve got a kid now, doesn’t mean that we can’t still be there for each other after a tough day.”

Jay snorts and shakes his head with a smile. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You can thank me later,” Hailey smiles and playfully smacks his thigh. “Now get up, grumpy pants. You should go pick up Feline, you both deserve a long movie night with your favorite person.”

“Who says that you’re our favorite person?”

“I do,” She beams and stands up from the couch.

Jay smiles, shaking his head as he follows her out of the building.

Jo opens the door for Jay twenty minutes later, the warmth from inside the house spilling out immediately. She takes one look at his face and directly notices that something is off. “Hey, Jay.” She steps aside and lets him walk into the hallway, closing the door behind him. “What’s wrong?” She asks, her voice warm and motherly.

“It’s nothing,” He says, not looking at her as he rubs his hands together to warm them up. But Jo gives him an unimpressed look and he sags. “It’s just… bad day. One of my CIs died.”

“Oh, dear.” Jo's expression softens sympathetically and she pulls him into a warm hug. “Will you be alright, do you wanna stay for dinner?” She offers as they pull apart again, her hand lingering on his upper arm.

“No, thank you. I’ll be okay.” Jay declines gently. “Hailey is coming over with pizza for movie night. It’s what we always do after a tough day.”

“Well, you’ve found yourself a good one then, come in,” Jo turns and leads him toward the living room, glancing over her shoulder as if to make sure he’s really following.

Jay trails after her, shoulders easing just a little. He lets a small smile grow on his lips. “Yeah, I’m lucky to have her.”

As they walk into the living room Jay expects Feline to be in a similar state as yesterday, tucked away in a corner, keeping to herself. But instead, she’s on the ground with Mason working on a Lego building. Both kids look up as he and Jo step into the room, smiling proudly.

“Jay, look!” Mason says.

“It’s the Eiffel Tower.” Feline adds.

Jay can’t stop the big grin that forms on his face, his bad day immediately forgotten when he is met with their excitement. “Wow, guys.” He says as he takes a few steps around the artwork. “It looks just like the real one.”

Feline and Mason both giggle at his observation. “No it doesn’t.” Feline laughs.

“The real one is way bigger,” Mason explains. He jumps up off the ground as he says it, his hands thrown up as high as he can reach, to show just how big.

Jay can’t stop smiling anymore. “Oh, sorry. My bad.”

When they get home, Jay spots Hailey’s Jeep already in the parking lot. He smiles knowingly and parks in his usual spot. He climbs out and opens the door for Feline. She takes his hand, jumping out of the car excitedly. Jay laughs softly, he can’t wait for her to see what’s inside.

“You know,” he says as they walk over to the entrance. “I’ve got a little surprise waiting for you inside.”

Feline gives him a questioning look, not the reaction he was expecting. She silently presses the button for the elevator, her smile fading. She steps back and pulls the sleeves of her jacket down, staring at the ground.

Jay starts to feel like he’s said something wrong. “Don’t you like surprises?” He asks a little worried.

Feline shrugs her shoulders, she’s not sure. She liked it when her mom surprised her for her birthday, or with a trip to the zoo, but Tate’s surprises weren’t a lot of fun.

“I think you’ll like this one,” Jay reassures as they step onto the elevator. “You’ll see.”

Knowing there's a surprise makes Feline a little nervous when they eventually enter the apartment. But she doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary right away. She has just unzipped her jacket when she smells it, something good and it makes her stomach rumble softly. She looks up at Jay expectingly, hoping he’ll tell her what it is, but he just smiles and takes off his own jacket and shoes.

Feline follows and puts her coat away on the hook, She pauses when she is done. There is another coat, one that doesn’t belong to her or Jay. She looks at him again, but he just keeps smiling at her. Feline is getting curious now, there’s food and another person here. She quickly unties her shoes and puts them away too. It doesn’t even surprise her anymore when there’s also an unfamiliar pair on the rack.

Feline hesitantly steps into the apartment. She knows someone is here, but she doesn’t know who yet. It doesn’t take long before she spots Hailey gazing over her bookshelves in the living room and she immediately runs over.

“Hailey!” Feline exclaims with a big smile.

Hailey turns around at the mention of her name and crouches down to greet Feline, lifting her up in a hug. “Hey, Feline.”

Jay watches from the doorway as Feline wraps around Hailey tightly, a big smile on her face as she rests her head on her shoulder. Hailey spins them around in a little circle, joy radiating from her too. The dark clouds above him easily fade away as he takes in their happiness, unable to stay somber when it’s so infectious.

He slowly moves around the kitchen, plating their pizzas and setting the table. Normally they would just eat on the couch, but now with Feline, he doesn’t want to give a bad example. He keeps the girls in the corner of his eye, listening to their chatter as they go over the books on the bookshelves.

“Pizza is ready,” He finally calls out.

Feline immediately hurries over, she hadn’t noticed the boxes when she walked in, her eyes too focused on Hailey. Her jaw drops and she looks up at Jay, who is standing next to the table.

“Good surprise?” He asks her, one eyebrow raised.

Feline nods eagerly. “The best,” she says softly.

She steps towards the kitchen, but then pauses. Quickly, she turns around and gives Jay a brief hug. It’s over before he realizes. Feline is already at the sink, washing up one-handed, the casted one held up high to prevent it from getting wet. She’s been getting better at handling it every day, finding ways to work around it like right now. He’s proud of her for doing so.

“She’s getting good at that.” Hailey remarks as she stands beside Jay.

Jay snaps out of his gaze and smiles proudly. “Yeah, she’s quite inventive.”

They sit down to eat their pizzas at the table and Hailey and Feline’s conversation about her books continues.

“You know,” Hailey says and then pauses to swallow her bite. “My favorites were always the ones about Greek mythology.”

Feline looks up, her brows furrowed. “What is that?” she asks curiously.

“Greek mythology is a bunch of old stories people used to tell in ancient Greece. They believed in lots of different gods and goddesses.” Hailey explains. “The most popular were these three brothers: Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades.”

“Were they real?” Feline asks, now completely forgotten about her food.

Hailey smiles. “Nope, not real like you and me. The stories are made up. But people told them for a long, long time to explain the world. Like why there’s thunder, or why the seasons change. And even though they’re made up, they can still teach us lots of things.”

Feline listens intently and nods. “Which one is your favorite?”

“Oh, that’s a tough one,” Hailey says and she drops her slice to think.

“Don’t forget to eat, honey.” Jay interrupts them then. “Your pizza is getting cold.”

Feline quickly picks up her slice and takes a bite, her eyes not leaving Hailey as she’s still thinking.

“I think my favorite story is the one of Theseus and the Minotaur. He had to go into this huge maze to face a monster. It’s full of adventure, and it shows that being brave doesn’t always mean doing everything alone.”

“Does he make it out?” Feline asks, her mouth still full of pizza.

“I think you should find out for yourself,” Hailey responds. “There are lots of books about Greek mythology.”

“Are they… age appropriate?” Jay asks hesitantly.

“There are children’s versions, yeah.” She reassures and Jay sighs in relief.

Feline looks at Jay with a pleading look and hesitantly asks. “Can… can we look for them at the library?”

“Of course we can, they sound really awesome.”

Excitement litters across Feline’s face and they continue their dinner. It takes Feline quite a while to finally finish her pizza. She’s too busy telling them about her art class after Hailey asks about what she did at school today. But Jay doesn’t mind, he’s just glad to hear her voice again.

After dinner, Jay helps Feline through a quick shower first, before they start the movie. She’s now dressed in her pyjamas, standing on her step stool in front of the mirror as Jay brushes through her wet hair. “It‘s good to see you happy again.” Jay smiles. “You know you can always talk to me about what happened, but you don’t have to, okay?”

Feline looks down at her hands timidly and gives him a small nod. Jay keeps brushing her hair for a while longer, scrunching it up in a towel a few times to attempt to make it a little drier. Feline just stands there silently, thinking over what he’d just said. She does feel much better now, but she still doesn’t understand what happened yet.

“I… I couldn’t stop it.” She quietly admits.

Jay freezes mid-brush and looks at her through the mirror. “Stop what, sweetheart?” He asks gently as he rests one of his hands on her shoulder.

Tears start prickling in Feline’s eyes, but she blinks them away. “Yesterday… at recess. He asked if… if my d-dad did it.” She stutters and looks at her cast as she rubs her other hand over it.

Jay lays down the brush on the sink and gently turns her around by the shoulders, bending down to her height. His expression is soft as one hand rests on her shoulder while the other soothingly rubs her upper arm. “What happened then?”

“I-I was back there. He… he was h-hitting me again.” Feline sobs softly.

“Oh, honey,” Jay says sympathetically. He gently wipes a tear from her cheek as the pieces are falling together in his head. “That must have been pretty scary?”

Feline nods, now softly crying. “I-I couldn’t talk after.”

“Hey, that’s okay,” Jay reassures. “It’s the way your body reacted, you can’t control that.”

Feline nods slightly, more tears escaping her eyes. The moments she saw yesterday, flash before her eyes again and her breathing picks up, sobs breaking out from her chest.

Jay stands up and gently tucks her against his chest, stroking her hair as he whispers to her. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s over now.”

Feline cries into his shirt for a little longer before she speaks again. “I-it… it felt so r-real.”

“I know, baby. It’s called a flashback. They trick your brain into thinking that you’re still there, that you’re still in danger. But you’re safe now, I’m here. I promise.”

They keep standing there like that until Feline is calm again. She shyly pulls away from Jay and looks down embarrassed with a blush on her cheek.

Jay notices and bends down again, his hands on her shoulders. “I’m really proud of you for telling me, Feline. You’re very brave.”

Feline looks up slowly to see if he really means that and then smiles proudly.

Jay smiles back and lets go of her shoulders. “Come on, let’s see if Hailey wants to do your hair. I think she can do one of those fancy braids.”

They move to the living room and Feline settles in front of Hailey so she can braid her hair while she chooses the movie. When Hailey is done, Feline climbs onto the couch between her and Jay, leaning into Hailey’s side. Jay smiles to himself as he looks at them, Hailey’s arm wrapped loosely around Feline. It’s clear that the two of them have missed each other this last week, and he’s glad that Hailey insisted on coming by.

As the movie progresses, Feline slowly sags into a horizontal position. Her head rests on Hailey’s lap and the arm that was around her has moved onto her upper back. Feline legs are scrunched up high, but her feet are still only a couple of inches from Jay’s thigh. She tries her best not to kick him, but, when she attempts to find a more comfortable position after a couple of minutes, she accidentally does anyway. Feline freezes immediately, her eyes turning away from the screen to watch his reaction.

Jay notices her reaction from the corner of his eye and turns his head towards her. He sees the slightly scared look across Feline’s face and smiles warmly at her. He gently places his hand on her ankle and rubs it softly. Without saying anything he turns back to the movie, his hand remaining on her ankle.

Feline relaxes again and turns back to the TV too.

When the movie comes to an end, Jay glances over to the girls for the first time in a while. Who knew Disney movies could be so entertaining?

Feline is fast asleep in Hailey’s lap, her legs now stretched out on top of Jay’s. Hailey doesn’t seem far behind her as she rests her head back on the couch, her eyes only half open.

A warm feeling blooms in Jay’s chest. This is what he’s always wanted, not the job, or the medals, but just this. Someone to come home to after a bad day. Someone who makes him feel better just because they are there. A big smile grows on his face as he takes in the two most important women in his life right now, safely dozing off on his couch.

Hailey slowly turns her head towards him, awoken a bit when the movie stopped playing. She takes in the smile on Jay’s face and gives him a small one in return. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Jay laughs softly. “I’m just happy.”

“Good, that was my goal.”

Jay raises one eyebrow at her. “Was it though?” he asks teasingly.

Hailey gives him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“Admit it,” Jay says, nodding at Feline. “You just came here to see your favorite person.”

Hailey lets out a breathy laugh. “And what if I did?” she challenges.

“Then… I can’t argue with that.” Jay deflates with a smile, his gaze falling to Feline.

A comfortable silence falls between them as they both watch Feline. Hailey softly strokes her fingers over her braided hair, taking in her relaxed features as she sleeps. Jay watches the soft gesture quietly. He’s incredibly grateful to have Hailey at his side now, while he’s figuring out fatherhood. It’s amazing to see her interact with Feline and to watch their bond grow. He knows that there are some parts of girlhood that he just won’t understand as her father, so he is glad that Feline still has a female role model in her life.

“Do you want to bring her to bed?” Hailey suddenly snaps him out of his thoughts.

Jay looks up from Feline and finds her already looking at him. “Uh… yeah, that's probably a good idea.” He stands up and crouches beside the couch, rubbing Feline’s arm softly. “Hey, Feline? It’s bedtime, honey.”

Feline groans and turns her head away into Hailey’s thigh. They give her a minute to wake up, then Jay helps her to her feet. Feline starts walking away, still half asleep.

“Goodnight, Feline,” Hailey says towards her back, a soft chuckle escaping her lips.

Feline pauses and turns around with a blush on her cheeks. She steps back towards Hailey and falls sleepily into her arms for a hug. “G’dn’ght.” She murmurs.

“Alright, let’s go,” Jay says as Feline and Hailey pull apart again. He gently guides Feline to her bedroom with a hand between her shoulders and looks back over his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

He returns not even ten minutes later. Hailey has picked up her phone, scrolling away with her legs stretched out on the couch. Jay quietly joins her, lifting her legs and placing them back in his lap. He lets himself sink into the cushion, his fingers softly fidgeting with Hailey’s ankle bracelet.

Hailey watches him as he lets out a long sigh. “Long day, huh?”

“Double long day.”

“Feline seemed to be doing better,” She inquires.

“She does.” A small smile forms on Jay’s lips. “Something must have changed at school, she was still the same this morning.”

“Maybe it was her art class?” Hailey quips.

Jay scoffs and nods “She really liked it, didn’t she?”

“She did,” Hailey laughs. “I haven’t heard her talk like that before.”

“She is starting to open up. I hear more every day.” Jay says proudly.

Hailey lurches forward and playfully smacks him on the arm. “That's so good, Jay. Why haven’t you told me?!”

Jay shrugs. “Guess I didn’t realize.”

Hailey smiles. “Has she told you anything about what happened yesterday?” she asks carefully, her tone more serious now.

“She did, actually.” Jay surprises her. “Tonight, after her shower. We had a little chat.”

There’s a small proud smile on his face, but Hailey can also see a hint of hurt in his eyes. She reaches out for him again, this time laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’re doing great, Jay,” she says softly.

He gives her a small nod and returns his gaze to her ankles, swallowing thickly. “She… she had a flashback. There’s nothing I could have done.”

“No, there isn’t,” Hailey admits truthfully. “But you can be here for her now, that is just as important.” He slowly looks up at her, his eyes a little watery. She squeezes his shoulder tenderly. “She trusted you enough to tell you, you should focus on that.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Oh, I always am,” Hailey says smugly and it makes them both laugh softly.