Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Harsh Winter. The harshest part of the winter. Obviously. 

It was predicted that this Harsh Winter would be the harshest winter in over a decade, as predicted by farmers and partially by Gothi. So it was for that reason that Stoick called Hiccup and the other riders back from the Edge just before Snoggletog. Hiccup was not going to argue this decision, knowing that being home where there were plenty of rations and the safety of the Great Hall was a good idea for the impending storms. While freedom was good to stretch responsibilities, it was overrated in the face of freezing to death. So the Riders battened down the edge, making sure the native dragons had safe shelter, and returned home to Berk for the month.

Snoggletog was lovely. Gifts were given, songs were sung, and yaknog was barfed. Astrid even managed to sneak Hiccup a sweet kiss to the cheek after he gave her a dagger with a blade that flipped into the handle. Yes, it seemed that everyone was happy to be home for the time being. 

But, of course, the reason they had left Berk in the first place was to get some independence. Being back in a village, surrounded by vikings, many which they were related to, caused tensions to rise among the riders. 

“Hiccup!” 

Of which the leader was hardly able to get a break. 

“Hiccup, we need you to settle a disagreement,” said Mulch, with a crying Bucket at his side. 

Hiccup sighed. “Why can’t you ask my father?”

“We tried to, but it’s hard when he’s involved!” 

“Okay. Lay it on me.” Hiccup took a seat near the fireplace and listened. 

“Stoick’s had us breaking our backs hauling fish barrels up the hill. He says that since we’re the fishermen, it’s our job to do it!” 

“He has a point.” 

“But it’s hard work in all this snow! We need help!” 

“Did you, perchance, ask anyone if they were willing to lend a hand?” 

“No one wants to get out in the snow to help. We asked Stoick to rally people to help us, and he said that it’s our job to get help and that he can’t force people to help!” 

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Either make Stoick get help for us, or get some others to help.” 

“I’m so tired!” Cried Bucket. 

“Well, you guys know I can’t force Stoick the Vast to do anything. And it’s not really my position to tell the villagers what to do. I don’t have the authority.” 

Bucket and Mulch folded their hands together and resorted to the vilest of tactics. Begging.

“Please Hiccup? If we don’t get help, we won’t be able to refill the food supplies in time. It could hurt the village and the dragons…” 

Hiccup considered this, and as the guilt churned in his stomach. “Well, Toothless and I can help.” 

“Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you!” 

And that’s how Hiccup spent one of his so-called vacation days doing the arduous task of rolling a dozen fish barrels uphill. Thankfully Toothless did twice that, or it would have been a week long project. 

Hiccup returned home in a foul mood and a frozen leg. 

“There you are, Lad. Haven’t seen you all day! Get stuck waiting for a storm to pass?”

“No,” he groaned, falling into a chair. “Toothless and I were helping Bucket and Mulch move their fish barrels.” 

“What?!” Shouted Stoick, with real fury in his eyes. 

This startled Hiccup. “Uh…they said they asked you for help and you said you couldn’t force anyone to help them—“ 

“That is not what happened!” 

Hiccup winced at the shout. 

“Sorry son, I’m not mad at you. Not at all! I’m pissed with them! What did those lazy knuckleheads say that got you to help?” 

“Um, they said that they were overwhelmed and needed help…for the sake of the village and dragons.” 

“I knew it! I knew it, Hiccup! They played you like a fiddle! Rode on your emotions! Cut right to the heart! The reason why no one is helping them is because they made the mess in the first place.” 

“They made a mess? I thought they were…” 

“Didn’t you find it odd that you were bringing the barrels up from the docks instead of over from the store room?” 

“Huh. I didn’t really think about it…” 

“We all worked together and brought the barrels from the store room over to the Great Hall. Bucket and Mulch were supposed to secure them with a net so they wouldn’t get knocked over in a huge gust of wind. They decided to not follow my instructions and the barrels were not only knocked over, but rolled down the hill and into the sea. They then had to go out and retrieve them and put them back. Thankfully the water was frozen over so they didn’t float away.” 

Hiccup closed his eyes in resignation. He had been played indeed. 

“I should have told you, but I didn’t think you’d care. Looks like you actually cared too much.” 

“I just felt guilty.” 

“Aye. But sometimes a Chief has to put his emotions on a shelf to get things done. And that’s an arduous task.” 

“Harder than pushing a dozen barrels up a hill?” 

“Can be. Depending on the emotion. But, this was a learning experience. Take it as a gift.” 

“Yeah, builds character and muscle, right?” 

“Mostly muscle.” 

—

There were still a few weeks left of their quarantine. The blizzards had only continued, making flying a difficult, if not impossible, activity. 

But Hiccup, being the person he was, couldn’t sit by restlessly. Even the coldest days couldn’t dissuade his penchant for adventure. Cabin fever set in, and he was aching to ride. And so, one morning, he let his father know that he was going out exploring for the day. Stoick wanted to protest, but after seeing that look of wanderlust in his eyes, he knew it was fruitless and let his heir go.

Hiccup asked the other riders to see if they were up for exploring in the white landscape with him. 

The answer was a unanimous ‘hell no’.

And a ‘please be safe’ from Astrid. 

So off Hiccup went on his own, for once not having to babysit his teammates. It was just like old times. Just a boy and his dragon. 

The North wasn’t often a direction traveled in the winter, especially since dangers were often found there. But Hiccup didn’t mind. He bundled up in furs from head to toe, ready to brave whatever was to come. 

For a while, it was just ice. The islands were fairly barren and devoid of life in this miserable climate. But Hiccup pressed on, just content to ride with his best friend. 

Toothless grumbled. 

“What’s wrong, bud?” 

The dragon spotted an island down below, hidden within the ice and drifting snow, and prepared to land. 

“Oh, you want to stop there?” Hiccup adjusted the tail, following Toothless’ lead. 

Upon landing, Hiccup slid off of the dragon’s back and into the snow. Immediately, Toothless bounded over to a tree and lifted his leg. 

“Oh I see,” Hiccup said with a snort. “I thought I told you to go before we left!” 

Toothless merely grumbled and shifted behind the tree. 

“Fine fine, take your time.” He waved him off. 

Looking around, Hiccup couldn’t remember which island this was. It wasn’t very big, certainly not big enough for any dragons to inhabit. It was rather light on trees too. He wondered if it was mostly rocky in the summer.  

“I’m going to take a look around,” Hiccup called to his companion as he wandered off. 

The island, or rather islet, was divided by a narrow gorge, nearly right through the middle, east to west. It was dark at the bottom, and was impossible to gauge how deep. The wind whistled along the crack, making the depth howl with deep notes. Hiccup followed it, walking along the edge until he found a point safe enough to cross. 

Carefully, he stretched across the divide to reach the other side, but his leg slipped on the icy rock and he fell down the crack with a shout. He tumbled down a slope and landed at the bottom on his back. “Ow, gods dammit.” 

He sat up, rubbing his head. There’d be a bump there tomorrow. Surveying the slope he fell down, he found it too steep to climb back up. “Toothless! Toothless!” He called. 

There was no reply. 

Well, he’d have to find another way up. The gorge was long, and perhaps had a less steep slope further down. So he started his walk, going deeper and deeper into the caves.

“How did I miss this?” He said aloud, studying the particular landscape. The rocky cliffs were dotted with large geodes and crystals, huge, sharp and colorful. The faint light from above reflected in the crystals, sending little fragments of color all over the walls and floor. 

“Wow…this is beautiful…” 

Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind, as a hand clapped over his mouth. He fought against the hands but to no avail. His captor dragged him through a crack in the wall, into the island itself, through the caves, further and further into darkness. Finally, they reached an open room. A grotto with a waterfall on one side, now frozen completely in winter. Once brought in, he could see the room was alight with candles. A circle was drawn on the floor with red paint and inscriptions decorated the outside. 

Hiccup trembled at the sight, this was something evil. Something spoken of very rarely, and only of a warning as a sign to run. Pagan magic of the most ancient, but most cruel and forbidden. 

“You have arrived,” A woman said. She looked ancient, older than Gothi. And she pointed at him with a crooked finger. “I knew you’d come here. I saw it myself. This place would be where you’d be separated from those who would protect you. All alone, for the first time in years. And so I will have you for myself.” 

Hiccup fought, throwing himself backwards at the person holding him, but they didn’t budge. A rope wrapped around his wrists painfully, as a cloth substituted the hand on his mouth. 

He was turned around, and a knife shredded his coat and shirts, exposing his chest. The person who was holding him was a man, a viking, who was pale and emotionless, his eyes gray. Craning his head around, Hiccup could see others around him in the same state. All emotionless. All watching. No mercy, no fear, no excitement.

Empty.

“I will add you to my collection. You…with the most radiant soul I’ve beheld. Half viking chief, half dragon…” 

Hiccup’s eyes widened as she approached him with a little pot with red liquid. She dipped her finger in, and drew a sigil over his heart. 

“I’ll have that soul,” then she beckoned the man to bring Hiccup forward to the circle. All the while, he struggled, yelling through the cloth. 

The woman began chanting in a foreign tongue, each word sending shivers up his spine. 

He was tied down to stakes secured to the floor. He now lay in the center of the circle, heat radiating off of the stone that should have been cold. 

The evil woman held up a black crystal, one that would shine purple in the light. 

She kept chanting and a little spark appeared on his chest, right over the sigil, and Hiccup began to feel faint. 

A blue wisp, like smoke, rose from his body and curled its way into the crystal, making it glow very faintly. 

The woman chanted louder, her voice echoing with triumph as, what was assumably, his soul left him.  

But as the soul still emerged, a roar cut through the cave as the crystals exploded in a shower of blue light. 

“MMHHMMM!!!” Hiccup called with all his strength. 

The Nightfury swept into the scene and knocked the woman and her helpers down. He bit through the ropes that bound Hiccup and roared at him to board.

Hiccup stumbled forward, kicking the crystal away from the vile woman. “Grab that!” He commanded Toothless.

Toothless snatched the stone in his mouth as Hiccup clambered into his saddle. 

“No! No my soul! My beautiful soul! You ruined it! Now neither of us will have it! No no no!”

Hiccup didn’t have the time to consider, or even care about her inane ramblings. He clicked his foot into place, and they ran. 

Toothless easily scrambled up the side of the gorge, and then they were in the air. 

Hiccup swore he could still hear the woman’s anguished cries. 

When his heart slowed down from the adrenaline rush, he felt numb and tired. Neither scared nor relieved. Just a dullness that made him feel sleepy. 

“Still got that crystal, bud?” Hiccup leaned forward. 

Toothless pushed the crystal into his hand with his tongue. 

It was dripping with slobber, and yet Hiccup felt no disgust towards it. Really, he felt nothing as he looked at the rock, but something in his mind was yelling at him to hang onto it. 

What he did feel, however, was very cold, since his shirt had been ripped and his skin was exposed. 

“Let’s get to warmth quickly, okay Toothless?” 

Toothless warbled in agreement, and they hurried back to Berk. 

When they landed at the Great Hall, Hiccup went inside quickly and sought out the fireplace. 

“Yo Hiccup!” Called Snotlout from a nearby table. It looked like he, the twins, and Fishlegs were playing cards. “How was it in the blizzard?” He laughed. 

“Cold,” said Hiccup flatly. “I think I was almost enslaved by a pagan witch, but I’m not sure. Toothless saved me.” 

The complete nonchalance had the twins in stitches. “Good one Hic! So nothing to report really, huh?” 

“What do you mean? I’m dead serious.” He turned and showed the painted mark on his chest. 

“Whoa!” Said Fishlegs, standing from the table. “Are you okay?” 

“I hit my head when I fell down a gorge. I think I may have a goose egg. It’s a little tender.” 

“But didn’t she like…curse you?” He wiggled his fingers. 

“I don’t know. I think she might have trapped part of my soul in a crystal.” He walked over to the table and showed the rock to his friends. “See? It’s kind of glowing. But it wasn’t before she did this weird ritual.” 

“You’re awfully calm about this…” said Snotlout with skepticism. 

Hiccup screwed up his lip, considering. “Hmm. I suppose you’re right. I probably should be more concerned.” 

“Hiccup!” Astrid burst open the door to the great hall, snow trailing in behind her. “You’re back!” 

“Hello Astrid. Yes, I arrived back a short time ago. I’ve been warming up.” 

“Okay, what happened?” She set upon inspecting him. “Oh my gods is that blood?” 

“No. Just paint. I think. Well maybe. It might be blood. Not my blood.” 

“Apparently, our dear Hiccup was almost enslaved by a pagan witch,” provided Tuffnut. “Show her your rock, Hic.” 

Hiccup held out the crystal to Astrid. “It was black, and then she did a ritual and this blue stuff came out of me and went into this crystal. Then Toothless saved me.” 

“Blue stuff? What inside of you is blue?” 

“She said she wanted my soul. So I guess it’s that.” 

Astrid held the crystal delicately after he said that. The potential that she was holding Hiccup’s very soul in her hands… “shouldn’t we take you to Gothi’s?” 

“Why? I’m not in any pain.” 

“But…you’re acting weird.” 

“How so?” 

“Flat. Dull. It kind of feels like I’m talking to a brick wall.” 

“Hmm. I don’t know. I am tired. Maybe after a nap I’ll feel better.” 

“And if not, we’re going to Gothi’s okay?” 

Hiccup stared at Astrid, suddenly struck by the realization that he couldn’t read her. He was usually so perceptive and pretty empathetic to humans and dragons. But right now, he was at a loss. She was somewhere between sad and angry. Or maybe afraid. Not happy at least. 

This should be a cause for alarm, but it wasn’t. He even knew that he should be feeling panicked, but he was calm. Neutral. 

“Yeah, maybe after the nap. I’ll let you know if there’s any change.” Without much of a goodbye, Hiccup called for Toothless and they wandered back into the snow. 

“He’s a zombie,” Snotlout stated. 

“Yeah, major weirdo,” agreed Tuff. “Normally he’s all goo-goo eyes when Astrid walks into a room but today it was like he was looking at a stranger.” 

Astrid blushed despite the knot in her chest. Tuff was right, though she hadn’t noticed before. There was a light missing from Hiccup’s eyes and she intended to get it back. 

—

When Hiccup awoke three hours later, he felt worse. No, that’s not quite right. He felt less. 

Was the world always this gray? 

Hungry, he got up from the bed and climbed downstairs. There, Toothless was sitting with his father.

“Evening lad,” Stoick greeted without looking up. “The kids said you were napping and that you got in a fight with a witch?” 

“Yes. That’s right. She wanted my soul, or something. I’m not sure.” 

“Well, you’re home safe and that—“ Stoick halted as he looked up. 

Hiccup was so pale, so ashen gray, he looked like a corpse. His eyes were dull, and face blank. 

“Son?” 

“Yeah?” There was no inflection in his words. 

“How do you feel?” 

“Hungry.” 

“Well, I have some soup on, it’s not ready yet. But besides that. You look awful.” 

Hiccup shrugged, “I feel fine.” 

There it was again. His father was looking at him with an emotion he couldn’t grasp. Somewhere between sadness and anger. Perhaps both? Smad. Sangry? 

“How do you feel?” Hiccup had to ask, because he couldn’t tell. 

“I’m concerned. You look really sick. What did you say happened with this witch?”

Hiccup went back upstairs and grabbed the black crystal that he had left on his bedside. It looked to be glowing brighter now, if that was possible. He gave it to Stoick, who stared with concern. “It happened rather fast. I think she had some sort of future sight. She said the island I was on would be the first time I’d be alone in years. Toothless was peeing, and I journeyed away from him to explore. I fell down a gorge, and she was waiting there. She said she wanted my soul, because it was radiant. So she marked me with this paint,” he gestured to his chest that he hadn’t wiped off yet. He didn’t really care about it. “Then she took me to this circle with weird markings and chantings…then she held up this crystal and a bunch of blue stuff came out of me and went into it. I don’t think she took my whole soul, because Toothless saved me.” 

Stoick stared at him, his jaw dropped. “Son…” 

“But I feel fine,” Hiccup repeated. “So, nothing to do about it.” 

“Define fine,” Stoick demanded.

Hiccup paused to consider. “Gray, is the best way to describe it. I don’t really feel anything. I can feel cold, hot, hungry, and tired…but that’s all. At least right now. Maybe it will get better.” 

“I’m taking you to see Gothi!” Stoick wrapped an arm around him and tried to corral him out the door. 

“Why? Isn’t this a good thing? Viking’s shouldn’t let their emotions interfere with their decisions.” 

“Aye lad, but sometimes emotions are more than just a distraction. They make us human. You don’t want to lose that, do you?” 

Hiccup was quiet for a while, too long for Stoick’s taste. Then he said, “I don’t mind never being sad or angry or scared.” 

“But never being happy? Never being in love?” 

“If memory serves me correctly, being in love and not in loved in return was also not a good feeling.” 

“Why are you focusing on all the bad feelings, son? Didn’t you once tell me that flying on the back of a dragon at sunset was the best feeling ever? Won’t you miss that?” 

“I…I guess so.” 

“You guess?” 

“I can’t feel melancholy or regret right now either.” 

“But you remember what it feels like to do those things, right?” 

“Yes, but I can’t say I miss it. I don’t feel that emotion of missing something.” 

“Alright,” said Stoick, raising his hands defensively. “Appealing to your missing emotions isn’t going to work. But you know something is wrong, right? There is something wrong with you and the rest of us want to fix it.”

“Why?”

“Why?! Hiccup, son, we love you! That doesn’t stop because you don’t love us anymore!”

“I love…you guys…” he said it stiltedly, like he wasn’t quite sure if it was true. 

There was a knock at the door before Astrid and Gobber came in. 

“Oh good! You’re awake! I couldn’t wait around anymore–Oh my god, Hiccup! You look horrible!” Astrid cried.

“Like a corpse,” added Gobber.  

“See?” Said Stoick. “We love you and we’re worried about you. You should take that as a cue that something is wrong and should be fixed!” 

“He’s not any better?” Astrid asked with dismay. 

“He can’t feel anything.” 

“Oh Hiccup…” she pouted, heart aching for him. 

“Why are you upset? I’m not sad.” 

She reached for him and took his hand. “Hiccup, it’s not that I don’t want you to be sad or angry. I want you to be happy. So so happy! I want to see you get excited when you see a new dragon or passionate when you have an invention or a plan. If you stay like this, what drive will you have? Do you have any desires?” 

“Hmm. When you say it like that, it makes sense. I know, morally, I have to do the right things for the tribe and the dragons, but if it brings me no emotion…I get no joy from it or guilt from avoiding it. What would be the point?” 

“I think never feeling happiness again would make for a really miserable existence. You gotta take the good with the bad, lad.” 

“Okay. You have all convinced me. Take me to Gothi.” 

—

Up on the hill, the group met with the old medicine woman and told her the story. Hiccup recounted the whole ordeal, from landing on the island to waking up from his nap. The whole time, everyone just listened. 

Hiccup, normally, was a very good story teller. He picked up on details that others missed. He put real emotion into his words and made everyone believe the things he was saying. 

This story was flat, sterile, and clinical. Borderline boring. 

Gothi listened intensely, her eyebrows furrowing deeper with each word. 

Finally, Hiccup handed her the crystal that held his soul. This gave her the most grave look of them all. 

“Yikes lad. Haven’t seen Gothi look this frightened in a while.” 

“Can this not be fixed then?” Hiccup asked her. 

Gothi set the crystal on her potions table and began to scribble in the dirt with her staff. Gobber stood beside her and read over her shoulder. 

“She says ‘ that woman soul-trapped you. An ancient ritual that removes the soul from the body so the body becomes a mindless puppet ’.” 

“Okay. But she wanted my soul more than my body.” 

“‘ Souls can be used in magic for a variety of different things. The more powerful the soul, the more powerful the spell. And Hiccup does have a very powerful soul.’ Well, now we know the why, but do we know how to reverse it?” 

Gothi examined Hiccup’s face closer, staring into his glassy eyes. She then demanded he stare at Toothless. 

“She wants to know what you feel when you look at him.” 

“Hmm…Toothless is my best friend,” he stated matter-of-factly. 

“Not what you know, what you feel. ” 

Hiccup knew that he was supposed to love Toothless, but at this moment, he felt…”nothing.” 

Toothless let out a sad whine. 

“Now look at Astrid.” 

Hiccup did as he was told and looked at her. 

“What do you feel, lad?” 

Hiccup watched as Astrid blushed slightly under his stare. He tried to put away all the normal things he knew about her and focus on what he felt looking at her. 

“I seem to be slightly aroused. But that’s all.” 

Astrid looked mortified and halfway near tears. 

“Keep looking at her, lad. Stare until you feel something.” 

The longer he stared blankly at her, the worse she felt. It would be different if he was looking at her with anger or even disgust, but this look…it was like he was looking at a stranger. Like Tuff had said. 

She couldn’t help it. A tear slid down her cheek, but she briskly wiped it away. 

“Why are you sad?” He asked. 

“You’re looking at me like I’m a stranger!” 

“You aren’t. You’re my friend. I trust you.” 

“Can you smile for me?” 

He did. But it looked so fake. 

“I hate this! Fix him Gothi!” Cried Astrid.

“We might as well get on with it. Staring at her isn’t doing anything but making her sad. And I know that making people sad is bad, at least.” 

Gothi nodded and scribbled in the dirt her plan. 

“She says she’s going to make a potion. It will contain the remnants of his soul. The person that drinks it will fall asleep, and in their own mind, they will be able to explore and awaken the parts of Hiccup’s soul that are dormant. That sounds like a tall order to me.” 

“Who’s going to drink the potion?” Asked Stoick.

It seemed that Gothi was not looking for volunteers as she pointed at Astrid. 

“Me?” 

“Well, besides Toothless, you really know the lad best. And as smart as Toothless is, I don’t think he quite understands what’s happening,” Gobber explained. 

“Okay, I’ll do it! But wait…if his soul is going into my body, how will it get back to him?” 

Gothi made a suggestive hand gesture and Stoick and Gobber laughed.

“Makes sense,” said Hiccup.

“Have you no shame!?” Astrid shrieked, red faced. 

“Not currently, no.” 

Gothi scribbled further explanation. “‘ His soul will return with prolonged contact. Skin-to-skin, hand holding, kisses, hugs. Whatever is comfortable.’ ” 

Astrid let out a sigh of relief. She did love him, but since they’ve barely kissed, sex felt like a huge jump. 

Though, taking his soul into her body was pretty significant in itself. 

Gothi went over to her table and began mixing liquids and minerals in a glass jar. She then put the crystal inside and put the lid on. She continued, “‘ the soul tea will need to steep for 12 hours. Come back at dawn. ’ Soul tea?” 

She held up the jar where the liquid inside was just very faintly beginning to glow the same color as the crystal. 

“Oh, I get it,” said Astrid. “Like regular tea with a tea bag.” 

“‘ I will explain the rest of the process in the morning when you return. For now, go away. ’”

Chapter Text

Dinner that night was awkward. Hiccup ended up taking a bowl of Stoick’s soup over to the Great Hall to eat with the other riders. 

When they saw him, they all formed faces of pity, disgust, or horror. 

“Mmm. Not happy to see me, I guess.” He sat down, leaving the seat next to him open for Astrid. 

“No no! Hiccup, we’re glad to see you, you just…” 

“Look like a corpse, yes, I have been told.” 

“How do you feel?”

Like a broken record, he replied. “Fine.” Though any other time, he probably would have been frustrated answering the same question over and over again, but as it stood, he didn’t get frustrated. Or annoyed. Or irritated. 

Why was he getting his emotions back again?

He clarified. “I have no emotions. I feel nothing. Yes, it’s very tragic. Gothi is going to fix me at dawn.” 

“You feel…no emotions, you say?” Said Tuffnut with a grin. “I find that hard to believe.” 

“It is incredible,” Hiccup responded, bland toned. 

“I do believe this requires more testing. You’re a man of science, right?” 

“I am.” 

“Then let the experimentations begin!” Cried Ruffnut. 

“Experiments?” Said Astrid, as she approached with her own dinner. 

“Knowing you knuckleheads, you’re just going to make it worse,” said Snotlout. “So count me in.” 

Hiccup put on an obviously fake smile. “I am so lucky to have such concerned and thoughtful friends.” 

“Was that sarcasm?” 

“No. I’m completely serious.” 

“Okay, was that sarcasm?” 

“I honestly don’t even know anymore.” 

“So, what experiments were you thinking of?” Asked Astrid.

“Easy. He can’t feel anything right now, in a moment when nothing is happening. But what if we put him in situations where he’d be forced to feel?” 

“Like what?” Asked Hiccup. 

—

Leave it to the twins to refuse to explain themselves. It wasn’t until they flew to the peak of Raven’s Point, looking over the cliffs to the ocean that Hiccup figured out what they were probably going to do. 

“If you kill me, you’re dooming the tribe,” he stated as a response. 

“If life was guaranteed, would you really be afraid?” Tuff asked, sporting a pair of spectacles. No one could guess where he obtained them. 

“Good point.” Hiccup shrugged.

“No! Not good point!” Astrid argued. “Hiccup, this is crazy! Don’t indulge these boobs with their weird hare-brained schemes!” 

“It’ll be fine, Astrid. Our dragons are all here and one of them will catch me if I—“ 

Before he could finish his sentence, the twins had Barf and Belch sweep Hiccup off the cliff with their tail. 

He didn’t even scream. 

Toothless was quick to leap after him, and intercepted him right before he smacked into the icy surface. They broke through and splashed together into the surf, as everyone watched from above. 

“Stupid!” Astrid shouted. “What if he got hurt? Or worse?!” 

“Relax. He’s probably fine. Toothless caught him,” said Snotlout. Though he looked anxiously towards the water. 

Toothless surfaced on the beach, bringing Hiccup up with him. Hiccup was indeed fine, but coughing on water. He mostly recovered and boarded Toothless and returned to the cliff. 

“Are you okay?” Astrid asked, checking him over. 

“F-Fine,” returned Hiccup as he undid his leather armor, shivering. “Interesting results though. Though I didn’t feel any fear, I got an adrenaline rush. So something triggered the physical fear response.” He removed his coat and shirt, not feeling self conscious or shamed, only cold from the water. He wrung out the fabric. 

“So…what does that mean?” Asked Tuff. 

“It means other physical responses may trigger. Will I cry if I am in a situation where I should be sad?” 

“I can figure that out!” Cried Snotlout. He used his knuckle to rub Hiccup’s sternum hard. 

“Auughhhh!” A tear slipped from his eye. “Yeah, I can still feel pain. Wasn’t really curious about that.” 

—

At dawn, Hiccup, Astrid, Gobber, Stoick, and Toothless all returned to Gothi’s hut, much to her dismay. 

“‘Only Astrid and Hiccup needed to come’,” she angrily scribbled in the sand. 

“Well I’m here to translate!” Argued Gobber. 

“And this is my son, and I’m the chief!” Argued Stoick.

“MMAAARRRGGUUUU!” Argued Toothless.

Gothi rolled her eyes, but didn’t fight with them. Instead, she just handed a note to Astrid. 

“What’s that?”

“A list of instructions, Mr. Translator,” Astrid snarked back. She held the paper between her and Hiccup to share. 

‘Astrid, drinking the tea will cause you to fall asleep. From within, you must find a way to awaken Hiccup’s fragmented soul. I can not elaborate on what you should expect, since this is something never attempted before.

‘Hiccup, this process may take several days. It’s important that you make sure Astrid stays fed and watered while she sleeps. She can be awakened by shaking or loud noises, but it will ruin the ritual and damage your very fragile soul. Keep her someplace quiet and safe. And don’t venture too far. Sleep at least in the same room as her, if not beside her. 

‘Once Astrid awakens on her own you should practice skin contact as much as possible. Hugs, kisses, hand holding, and sleeping next to one another will allow Hiccup’s soul a conduit back into his body.’

“What do you mean this has never been attempted before? How do you know it will work?” 

Gothi scribbled in the dirt. 

“See? You did need me here!” 

Hiccup elbowed him in the gut. 

Gobber went over and read over the old woman’s shoulder. “‘Soul Trapping is an ancient practice that has been used since the Iron Age. Usually a soul is used up before it can be reclaimed. It is written that often the soul tea is consumed by the person who has lost their soul. It takes them years to awaken their fragments since they have no guide. I theorize that having emotions already will allow this task to be easier for you’.”

Astrid winced. “Okay, well, I guess the best we can do is try.” She reached out and grabbed the jar with the tea. 

“Astrid,” Stoick stopped her. “Are you sure you want to do this, Lass? I know Gothi thinks you’re the right person for this, but…” 

“Stoick, I’d really like to do this. If something goes wrong, they’ll need you here.” 

“Dad, Astrid is the better candidate,” said Hiccup. “I know you know me well, but I think she’ll handle some things she’ll see better than you would.” 

Stoick frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“You and I don’t always see eye to eye. And before Toothless, you really got angry with me a lot. That trauma affected me, and I doubt Astrid won’t see it.” 

“Son…” 

“It’s in the past. But I know you would get angry. And that won’t be helpful.” 

Stoick frowned and let Astrid’s wrist go. “Okay Lass. I trust ye. Put my son back together.” 

Astrid took the tea and popped the lid. She swirled the faintly blue glowing liquid around. 

“Well,” she weakly laughed. “Bottoms up.” And with one swig she downed it all.

At first, it didn’t seem like anything happened. The liquid was slightly sweet, but mostly bitter. 

Then suddenly, her vision swam and her legs felt weak. 

Hiccup only had a second of warning before she collapsed against him. He caught her, and lifted her up. 

“Alright, so to our house?” He asked Stoick. 

“That’s the safest place for her.” 

—

The landscape started out with a white fog. Astrid could just barely see her arms in front of her. She wasn’t wearing her armor anymore, a shame, but instead, a blue floral dress with leggings. 

“Hiccup? Hiccup!” She called, but her voice just echoed on and on with no end. “I would have thought that Hiccup’s soul would be…less empty.” 

She picked a direction and started walking, figuring that she’d come across something eventually. 

She stepped into water, the tide soaking her foot through her boot. 

She recoiled. “Oh come on. I just got here!” 

The water was visible, but only just, as the white landscape obscured it. She walked adjacent to the water, listening for waves. There were none. Just smooth, glassy water. 

Hazy in the whiteness, there was a strange silhouette in front of her slowly becoming more and more visible the closer she came. 

It was a boat, and a person sat inside it, facing the water. 

“Hiccup?” She guessed. 

The head turned toward her, and indeed, it was Hiccup. When she was finally close enough, she noticed he was just as ashen gray as he had been in the outside world. 

“Hi Astrid, what are you doing here?” He asked, blankly, and not quite meeting her eyes. 

“I’m here to help!” She said, determined. 

“Hmm. That’s nice of you. I figured something was wrong. The Schemas, they’re all disconnected. Floated away. It’s hard to get to them now.” 

This really was a dream, a new world. None of what he said made any sense. “Uh…Schemas?” 

“Huh. You know, it’s so normal to me that I didn’t realize you don’t know what those are. Each part of Hiccup has their own little space that they live in. Think of it as a mindset you enter when you’re in a mood. I bet you have a Battle Schema when you’re training.” 

“Oh! I get it!” 

“All the Schemas used to be connected, as one feeling flowed into the next, and emotions influenced other traits. But now…they’re all disconnected. I don’t really feel like going to any of them right now either. I don’t really want to do anything.” 

“Well, the you on the outside didn’t really want to do anything either. I wouldn’t worry.” 

He tilted his head as he looked at her. “So what happened?” 

“Well…there was a witch, apparently. This is what you–real world you–told me. She wanted to capture your soul? So she did a weird ritual and trapped it within a crystal. You came home, and we convinced you to go to Gothi’s. She turned the crystal into a liquid and I drank it, consuming your soul, I guess. So…I’m dreaming, and I’m supposed to fix you in my dreams.” 

“How are you supposed to do that? I don’t even fully know what I am.” 

“You don’t—but you’re Hiccup!” 

“Well yes. I am Hiccup, but only a piece. I’m not sure where I fit into this whole thing.” He gestured to the nothingness around him. “I feel very lost.”  

“Do you remember anything about what you did before?” 

“I went between the Schemas. I know I interacted with the other emotions a lot. That probably doesn’t help.” 

“Hmm. Maybe you’re Creativity?” 

He thought it over for a second and said, “no, I don’t think so.” 

She crossed her arms. “Gothi said I needed to wake up the fragments of Hiccup’s soul. So what if figuring out who you are…means waking you up?” 

“Makes sense.” 

“And you said that the Schemas are where each emotion lives?” 

“Correct.” 

“Then I bet we could glean clues from yours! Where is it?”

He gestured to the boat. “This is it.” 

The boat was mostly a normal wooden row boat, but it was painted black with a red fin, and the bow had a wooden head at the front. One that looked like Toothless. 

She deflated slightly. “You haven't—then where do you live?” 

“I moved around a lot. I’m usually in one Schema or another. I work in tandem with others. That probably doesn’t help, does it?” 

“Actually, it might not now, but you’re only the first part of Hiccup I’ve come across. We just need to narrow it down. If only I had some paper…” 

“Look in your pockets.”

“My pockets? I don’t have any—oh hey, pockets!” She pulled out a little black book, the very same that Hiccup always carried around with him, and a piece of charcoal. The pages were half filled with all the notes real world Hiccup had already taken. She flipped to a new page. “Alright, what parts of Hiccup am I looking for?” 

He frowned. “Hmm…I can’t remember all of them.” 

“Then give me what you know.”

“Okay…uh, well. Hmm.” He blanched, totally stuck.

“Happiness? Sadness? Anger?” 

“Yeah, those sound right.” 

“What about Fear and Disgust?”

“Yep, he had those too.”  

She wrote those down. 

“But those are like baby emotions. Everyone has those. I know there’s more to Hiccup than that. Like…I think Love was a big one.” 

“Sounds like a big one. Anyone else?” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sure I’m missing plenty. Hiccup is a complex person.”  

“I guess so. I had no idea we, as humans, were so…complex. I guess I just assumed thoughts just floated around. It’s a little overwhelming.” 

“Don’t let it get to you. It’s like…when Hiccup goes exploring and adds places to his map. This is all basically uncharted territory.” He glanced out into the blank horizon, trying to imagine what was there, or what used to be there. 

“Is there anything dangerous out there?”

“Sure. You’ve had dangerous thoughts, haven’t you? And any emotion with too much power can be dangerous.” 

“I suppose.” She looked at him for a while. This trait or emotion of Hiccup’s looked just like him, still ashen gray, but the same clothes that he had been wearing when she saw him not too long ago. It was like talking to her Hiccup, but not. 

“Can you take me to one of these Schemas?” 

“I can, but I can’t guarantee where we’ll end up. It might be an unpleasant emotion.” 

“I think I’ll have to see all of them, right? So, if you’ll help me, I’d like to start.” 

He gave her a weak smile. “If anyone could fix us, I’m confident it would be you.” 

She smiled back, in gratitude, and then together, they pushed the boat into the water. 

“Do you need me to row?” 

“No, I’ve got it.” And he stood at the back of the boat. Using a long pole, he pushed off the shore and off into the hazy water. 

The only wake came from the boat itself. 

“You aren’t using an oar, so it’s not very deep?” 

“Not usually no. To you, about two to three feet. There’s occasionally a pocket where the floor drops away to unfathomable depths.” He pushed on, still no sign of any land on the horizon. 

“Do you have any idea where we’re going?” She asked. 

“Nope, sorry, can’t prepare you.” 

A moment passed as she sat on the lone bench in the wooden boat.

“How did you know I would have that book in my pocket?” 

He shrugged. “I didn’t. But I know that when I need things, I can find them. I figured it would be the same for you.” 

“What does that mean?” 

He screwed up his lip. “Hmm. This is a dreamscape to you, and you’re seeing things as they would make sense to you. This isn’t like your world.” 

“So…you don’t usually look like Hiccup?”

He laughed. “I might! I’ve never looked at myself before.” 

“I guess that means you aren’t Curiosity?”  

“Nope, that’s not me.” 

“Actually,” Astrid thought about it. “Curiosity might still be inside Hiccup. Last I knew, they were doing experiments to see if Hiccup had any emotions, and he was going along with it.” She took her notebook back out and opened a fresh page, noting her thoughts on Curiosity. “You said, I’m seeing things how they make sense to me?” 

“Yes. If I look like Hiccup to you, you’re seeing what your mind can understand. And the schema’s too will probably be something you’re familiar with.” 

“And the Schemas are the homes to the emotions, right? Like a frame of mind, or mindset?” 

“Yes, I think you’re getting it. This place that you’re in right now is a whole new world. But every living thing here makes up Hiccup. Unlike the world outside, none of the landmarks you see are permanent. As Hiccup grows and forms opinions, his mindscape and worldview change. But they were always touching, since what is worry, but Fear and Sadness?” 

“But now they’re all separated.”

“Correct.” 

“But even when they were connected, they moved around? Who decides where stuff goes? Who’s in charge here? 

“The Ego.” 

“Ah, of course. Hiccup has been developing a big ego.” 

“Uh…I don’t think we have the same thing in mind. What's ego to you?” 

“Well, I think it’s self-importance. The bigger the ego, the more entitled a person is. Hiccup isn’t that bad, but he is the leader of the Edge and son of the chief. He carries a lot of authority.” 

“See, that’s not the Ego I mean. The Ego here is…well, how do I describe it? It’s in charge, but it’s not like me…” He scrunched his face up. 

“Like…I couldn’t find him and talk to him?” 

“Right. The Ego is like…like one of Hiccup’s mechanisms. It just works on its own, moving things around as Hiccup, the whole person, needs.” 

“I think I follow. Like, when Hiccup met Toothless and decided to stop hating dragons, that moved things around, right?” 

“I think so. I don’t remember right now, but probably.” 

“So, when an emotion is controlling Hiccup, is there like a place you go? Like driving a vehicle or something?” 

He winced. “I’m sorry Astrid, I can’t remember. You’ll have to ask another emotion or wait until you wake me up.” 

“Gods, now that I’m in Hiccup’s mind–or soul, rather–I have so many questions! Is this how it works for everyone?”

“I’d assume so.” 

“I wonder what my schemas look like. I wonder if I have all the same ones.” 

He shrugged. “No idea. But I bet Gothi could make a potion that lets Hiccup see your soul once you're done here.” 

“Was that a joke?” 

“I think so. Was it funny?” 

She gave a so-so hand gesture.

“I’m probably not his sense of humor then, huh?” 

“Two for two so-so jokes. You’re on a roll.” 

“Yay me.” He said blandly. 

In front of them, they began to see the shapes of a large island.

“There’s something there!” 

She heard it first. The sounds of a forge. Hammering on metal, quenching of hot metal in water, the bellows fanning the flames. 

It was sounds she associated with Hiccup, of his nights busy working and creating. 

The whiteness faded away, revealing a large workshop, looking like a melding combination of Hiccup’s forge on the edge, and the forge on Berk. It was tall and continued up and up, disappearing back into the haze. 

Boat Hiccup pulled up alongside a dock and tied off the boat. “I can go with you?” 

“I’ll leave it up to you. I can certainly use the help.” 

He helped her out of the boat, and then likewise she helped him. As she started down the dock, she didn’t hear him behind her, and she looked back. “Hiccup?”

When she glanced back, he was staring off into the water again, blank, gray, empty. Then he blinked and looked to her. “Sorry…I was distracted.”

“You okay?” 

He shook his head. “Silly question, Astrid.” 

“Right, well, let’s go. I think I can guess who lives here.” 

Chapter Text

The door to the forge was opened with a pulley system, the same that Hiccup installed on the Edge. Inside was hot and humid, wooden walls filled with sketches and schematics. All sorts of tools, big and small and obscure. The ceiling was high and contained hundreds of cogs interlocked, but stopped. The room was quiet, despite looking like it would be deafening. 

Boat Hiccup was a step behind her, taking it all in. “This is…familiar.” 

She chuckled, “You’re telling me. Wait, like you remember this place? You know what Schema this is?” 

“Not exactly, but I feel like I’ve been here before. A lot even.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter right now. Keep going.” 

She weaved around half finished saddles and weird weapons with odd shaped blades. 

Then she found him. This Hiccup was sitting at a large desk, a map sprawled out in front of him. He was mid-sentence, writing a list. But he was frozen, staring blankly at the paper. His skin was just as gray as the first, and his eyelids were drooped. 

“Hiccup?” 

He stirred slightly, raising his head. He wore a strange device on his face, like a series of lenses. 

“A…strid…?” He asked slowly. 

“That’s right, I’m here, Hiccup.” 

“Did he say something?” Whispered Boat Hiccup. 

“Yeah, my name, you didn’t hear it?” 

He shook his head.

Lens Hiccup looked back down at his paper and frowned. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He slowly shook his head, like he didn’t know. “I’m…stuck.” 

Astrid came over and looked over his shoulder. 

He had a list written out. 

• Knife in sleeve

• Bite mouth cover

• Call for Toothless 

• Rock weight against

It didn’t make sense initially, but the longer she stared at the paper, the more she began to see the big picture. Above the list was a map of an island with a gorge. 

Lens Hiccup had fallen down a gorge when he was soul-trapped. 

“Are you trying to make an escape plan?” 

Hiccup sat up a little. “Yes. Yes I was.” 

“What does ‘rock weight against’ mean?” 

“He was bound by ropes that were attached to these little stakes in the ground…” 

“So you mean ‘rock weight against ropes’? Hoping to knock them loose?” 

“Y-yeah. Yes. That’s it.” 

She smiled as he wrote out the rest of the sentence, and then another point before he stopped. He whirled around and looked at her, blinking several times. “Astrid?” 

“Hi?” She chuckled. 

He looked past her to Boat Hiccup, gave him a questioning look, and then looked back at her. “What are you doing here? I mean, welcome, but like…wait…” he looked around again, noticing that the gears weren’t moving. “Is he unconscious?”

“Not…quite…” She winced. “Hiccup’s soul was taken from him by a witch. Gothi made a potion out of the remnants, and had me drink it. So…we’re in my body.” 

“Huh,” said Lens Hiccup. “That’s…weird.” 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Astrid asked.

Lens Hiccup glanced back at his map. “Well, I think you kind of know. Hiccup was captured by these weird empty zombie vikings, and this woman said she wanted Hiccup’s soul. I started making an escape plan when…” His brows furrowed. “The whole room glowed blue, and I couldn’t move. I remember looking at Hiccup’s face, which I rarely ever see, and this wasn’t a reflection. Then his thoughts stopped.” He pointed up at the gears above. “They never do unless he’s unconscious. Even when he’s asleep…I was just stuck here for a while, not remembering what I was doing. And then you were here!”  

Astrid gasped loudly, grabbing Lens Hiccup’s shirt by his shoulder. “I’ve got it! Since you were making an escape plan, you must be Creativity!” 

His eyes widened. His cheeks blushed and turned a healthy pink as a broad smile took over his face. The room itself started to look more vibrant as the sound of the forge grew again. The cogs up above didn’t start moving, but Astrid assumed they wouldn’t until this part was back in Hiccup’s body. “Yes! I’m Creativity! I’m the part of Hiccup that devises plans, schematics, does drawings, even cooking! Whenever Hiccup creates something, that’s me!” He got up from his chair and hugged her. “Astrid! You’re a genius!” 

She was beaming big too. “Glad to help!”   

“Oh wow,” said Boat Hiccup, “I can see and hear him clearly now.” 

“So what happened?” Creativity spoke as if he didn’t hear Boat Hiccup. “How are you here? This is crazy! I’ve never spoken to you on this side of the eyes before.” 

Boat Hiccup found a pair of chairs and brought them over so they could all sit. 

“The blue stuff you saw was apparently Hiccup’s soul. You were removed from his body and put in a crystal. He escaped–” 

“How?” He asked, eagerly. 

“Toothless saved him.” 

Creativity snapped his fingers. “Okay, continue.”

“So…he came home and he was all dull and emotionless. But he had the crystal, so Gothi was able to brew it into a tea. She had me drink it, so I would consume his soul, I guess? So I’m asleep right now and also here. To be honest, it’s pretty confusing.” 

“How creative of Gothi! It looks like it’s working!” 

“Well…” She awkwardly played with her hair. “You’re the first trait I woke up.” 

“What about him?” Creativity pointed to Boat Hiccup. 

“I found him, but he doesn’t know what emotion he is. I haven’t been able to guess yet. He doesn’t remember what he was doing before this.” 

“Oh…I see.” 

“Does he look familiar?” 

Creativity adjusted his lenses and looked closer. “Now that is weird. His face is a blur to me. I know he’s a trait or emotion of Hiccup’s but I can’t place it.” 

Boat Hiccup frowned. 

“What is it that you need to do, again?”

“Gothi said I need to wake up the fragments of Hiccup’s soul, but didn’t say how. He and I,” she gestured to Boat Hiccup, “figure that means I need to help them remember who they are. Like I did with you.” 

 “Makes sense to me!” Creativity noticed that Boat Hiccup was turned and staring at a schematic on the wall. “Whatcha looking at?” 

He walked over, took it down, and held it out to Creativity. “What’s this?” He asked, though Creativity didn’t hear him. 

“Oh that damned thing? That’s Inferno. It’s one of my most creative ideas! But it’s been stuck in the prototype phase that doesn’t last very long…so for now I tacked it up with the other passion projects.” 

“Does it seem familiar to you?” Astrid asked Boat Hiccup. 

“Hmm. I think it’s cool.” 

“He says it’s cool.” 

“That’s an older schematic, if you want to hang onto it.” 

Boat Hiccup nodded in gratitude, folded it up, and tucked it into his pocket. 

“I bet you can’t help me out navigating to another Schema, could you?”

“What are you talking about?” Creativity chuckled, “Happiness is right on the other side of this door!” He went over and opened a door, though instead of whatever landscape he was expecting there to be, there was only water disappearing into whiteness. “Or not…”

“That’s also part of the problem. The Schemas are all disconnected,” provided Boat Hiccup, which then Astrid repeated.

Creativity knelt and touched the water. “By absent thought, of all things. This is pretty bad.”  

“So I guess…I better get to work?” Astrid winced. 

“Yep! You’re always welcome back here to rest. I don’t leave my Schema though. I’m a trait, not an emotion. The emotions come to me and influence my work.” 

Astrid turned to Boat Hiccup. “You said you’ve been here before?” 

“At least I think so?” 

“You must be Happiness!” Astrid waited in anticipation for him to get his color back, but nothing happened.

“Hmm. No, that’s not right either. Sorry Astrid.” 

She groaned. “No no, it’s not your fault. We’ll figure it out! Thanks for your help, Creativity!” 

“No Astrid, thank you !”

Together, she and Boat Hiccup left the workshop to head back down the dock to the boat. 

“Got any new clues?” She asked. 

“Nothing you didn’t see. I had no idea I wouldn’t be able to probably see or hear him until you woke him up. Perhaps we’ll have better luck at the next Schema? Though, if I’m unable to interact with them, then perhaps I’m more of a hindrance than help?” 

“I wouldn’t mind having company.”

“Then I’m ready if you are.” 

The duo jumped back in the boat and Boat Hiccup pushed off into a new direction. 

It really was rare that Astrid spent quality time with Hiccup and had nothing to talk about. She was beyond worried for his well-being, and this piece of Hiccup didn’t possess all the qualities she loved about him. In fact, if she stumbled over Hiccup acting this way, she’d assume he needed some time alone. The urge to ask ‘are you okay?’ over and over gnawed at her, but she stayed silent. 

“What if I mess up?” She asked herself, aloud. 

“How would you mess up?”

“Like…Gothi said I could be woken up by loud noises and if I woke up before I was done, your soul, Hiccup’s soul, would be damaged. What if I mess up? What will happen to you if I can’t wake you up before I wake up?”

He shrugged, but didn’t seem concerned. “Who knows? Best case scenario, I go back to Hiccup and become awakened later on. Worst case, I cease to exist. Will that change how you work? What will it accomplish to wonder about these things?”

“Are you Practicality?” 

He stopped for a moment, to consider, and then said, “nope. Good guess though.” 

It wasn’t long before they hit another Schema. This time, there was a large beach. The sea or lake that they traveled was shrouded in whiteness, like an incomplete haze. But this beach had fog. The air was cool and damp. She stepped onto a pebbly ground from the boat. This place was somehow familiar. 

Of course, Boat Hiccup said most of the Schemas would be familiar to her. This was someplace she knew, just couldn’t put her finger on it. She walked forward, her footsteps loud on the pebbly surface. She sank a little with each step. Berk was often foggy in the early mornings, and maybe something about a foggy beach made Hiccup feel a certain emotion. Even through the fog, she could see the rough shape of mountains.  

Eventually, the fog gave way to a dilapidated shack. It tilted harshly to one side, only propped up from falling over by a piece of driftwood. 

Boat Hiccup whistled lowly at the sight. “We should go back to Creativity and get some tools to fix this place.” 

“No kidding,” she huffed.

She knocked first, out of habit, then realized no trait or emotion would be awake to respond. The door was unlocked, though she figured she could probably break through it if it wasn’t. 

The inside was dark and damp. The wood of the shack creaked with the breeze outside. There was a table and a chair, a bed, and little else. She began to wonder if anyone was here at all. 

“Hello? Um, it’s me, Astrid!” 

She took a step forward, and as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw a pair of legs under the table. 

She almost screamed. “H-hello?” 

Pushing the single chair out of the way, she saw the rest of the body. A young Hiccup, how she remembered him before Toothless was around. He still had two legs. He laid face down on the floor, unmoving. The only other thing of note was that he was wearing a gray-blue tunic, a color she didn’t think she had ever seen on him before. 

She couldn’t see his face, but the skin of his hands looked pale. 

“Hmm…” she poked him with her foot. “Are you…alive?” 

“HmmmMmmm,” moaned the emotion. 

“Is that a yes?” Asked Boat Hiccup.

She didn’t answer, but guessed all the same, “Are you Childhood Innocence?”

The emotion spoke with his face still flat against the floor so his words were mostly indistinguishable, but she heard something that sounded like, ‘he’s out there.’ 

“Okay,” Astrid crouched and slid an arm under his shoulders and lifted. He was light, as Hiccup had been when he was little. She picked him up and sat him on the bed. 

Like Creativity, his face was gray and his eyelids heavy. But his cheeks were wet and snot dripped out his nose. 

“Eugh, gross.” Astrid looked around for a handkerchief, but found none. 

“What are you looking for?” Asked Boat Hiccup. 

“Something to wipe his face with.” 

“Wipe his face?” 

“He’s covered in snot and tears.”

“Check your pockets.” 

Miracle of miracles, there was a handkerchief in there now. This dreamscape was pretty convenient. 

She used the cloth to wipe Blue Hiccup’s face and then held it up to his nose. “Blow.” 

He did, a pathetic little honk, and then he looked up at her. 

“Astrid?” He asked timidly, his voice that of a child. 

“Hiya.” She smiled. “Sadness.” 

The color came back to his cheeks as tears welled up in his eyes and he started crying again. 

“Oh come on, it’s okay.” She adjusted him so he sat in her lap and could cry on her shoulder. She wasn’t very good at this whole comforting thing, but she gave it her best. She petted his hair and rubbed his back. “There there, you’re okay.” 

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed, “this-this-this is my whole thing.” 

She chuckled. “I get it.” In retrospect, she should have figured it out by the blue tunic, but such is hindsight. Patting her pockets, she found another clean handkerchief. “Here.” She dabbed his cheeks again, wondering if this was going to be the entirety of her interaction with him. “Why are you here?” 

“Wh-wh-what do you mean? This is my Schema, where I live.” 

“I meant—why are you living in a shack? This place looks like a stiff breeze will knock it down!” 

“It has, and it will,” he shrugged. 

“That’s kind of–” 

“Sad? Pathetic? Yeah.” 

“Okay, I guess I walked into that one. But it can’t be…I don’t know, productive here? You’re Hiccup’s sadness, so shouldn’t you be more stable or-or healing or something?” 

He sighed, leaning into her. She assumed he was taking advantage of the close contact and allowed it. “I used to be a primary emotion for Hiccup, sadness is a core emotion for everyone, but I mean I was very common. Before the Great Switch, I was one of the main emotions in charge. Me and Fear, we had the most time in control. You remember, right? Being the smallest person in a village of angry, huge, blade swinging vikings and giant, fire breathing dragons? Not much time for anything else.” 

“The Great Switch?” 

“Yeah…that’s when the Ego switched things up. Fear and I were practically shunned. Happiness, Creativity, and Passion became primary. Self-Doubt started letting Confidence work in peace, and Denial and Self-Control started working overtime.” 

Astrid couldn’t help but smirk. The little Hiccup she remembered was certainly sad and afraid, but was always doing what he could to impress. That meant weird inventions coming down the line every week. She would have assumed he had no self control. 

“So since you’re not a primary emotion, you get stuck in a shack? Who thought that was fair?” 

“It’s not about what’s fair. It’s about what Hiccup wants. And Hiccup doesn’t want to feel sad anymore. In fact, I come with a heavy dose of guilt these days. I can’t help it.” 

“That…can’t be healthy.” 

Sadness shrugged. “He still has his moments. But he’s not alone anymore. I don’t really…come out around people. Like you, I haven’t seen you in years.” He tilted his head. “Why are you here? Surely not for me…” 

“Well, I kinda am here for you. And all the rest of Hiccup’s traits and emotions. There was—” she cut herself off as she looked at his face. He was awfully fragile. How helpful would it really be to explain the whole witch thing to him? Wouldn’t it be better to just be vague? “Something happened, and now Hiccup and all of his pieces are in need of some help. And you know I’m always ready to help Hiccup!” She smiled at him.  

His lips started trembling. “Y-y-you risked your safety and–and–and came here just to help us?! Astrid! I–I–I–!” Waterworks. Gushing down his face like a waterfall. 

Looks like it didn’t matter what she said to him. He was Sadness after all. 

“Aww,” said Boat Hiccup. “Poor kid.” 

Astrid just held him again. Though she knew better, seeing a young Hiccup, the boy she loved so much, sobbing his eyes out, made something pull at her heartstrings. 

“I’m-I’m-I’m sorry! I’m getting your pretty dress all wet!” 

“It’s okay.” She briefly looked at the dress. Why was she wearing it anyway? She didn’t own one that looked like it. She’d have to ask a different emotion. One that didn’t burst into tears at every sentence. 

“Who’s that?” Sadness asked, pointing to Boat Hiccup and wiping his face. 

“Oh! This is another emotion of Hiccup’s. I haven’t figured out who he’s supposed to be yet, so he’s following me around.” 

“You don’t know—? And he doesn’t know—? Oh, that’s so sad!” He blubbered. 

“Yes, it can be. But we’re going to find a solution. No worries!” 

Sadness got up from her lap and went over to Boat Hiccup, holding his arms out. 

Boat Hiccup shrugged and hugged the other emotion. 

Now came the tricky part. Astrid knew they had to leave. Sadness would always be sad, and she had other emotions to interact with. 

“Well,” she started, as one does when trying to leave an awkward situation. “We should probably be moving on.” 

“Yeah, I guess…” said Sadness, letting go of Boat Hiccup. 

Huh. This was working better than expected. 

“It was nice to meet you, Sadness. I’ll see if I can’t get Hiccup to express you a little more, to be healthier.” 

“Okay,” he stated as he sat on the floor and hugged her leg. 

Oh, that wasn’t good. 

Astrid stood, hoping that would prompt him to let go. It did the opposite as he clamped on harder. 

“You know, I need to leave, and you have to let me go.” She took a step, dragging him across the floor.

“But-but-but-!” 

“I know, but it’ll be okay. Once we fix this, you won’t be lonely anymore.” 

“That’s not true! No one comes to visit me! And I don’t influence many traits anymore!” 

She figured that was pretty true, since how often did you create something out of sadness? 

She looked at Boat Hiccup. “Can Sadness come with us?” 

Boat Hiccup screwed up his face in thought. “I guess so. I don’t know why not.” 

Sadness let go of her leg at that moment and scrambled to his feet. He then ran over to the head of the bed and grabbed something from under his pillow. Hiccup’s toy dragon he owned as a child, apparently a gift from his mother. 

“I’m ready,” Sadness stated, buffing out his chest bravely, but taking hold of her hand.

Astrid couldn’t help but laugh. “I bet you’ve been ready to leave this place for a while.”

He nodded, a loud ‘sssnnrrrkkk’ coming from his nose. Astrid gave him the handkerchief. 

Together, the three left the shack. 

It wasn’t foggy out anymore. In fact, besides over the nebulous lake, the air was clear, if only full of lazy drizzling rain. Now she was able to pinpoint this beach and what its significance to Hiccup was. 

 The colossal skull of a dragon sat on the beach, not too far away from the shack. The skull of the Red Death. They were at Hellheim’s gate. 

“Oh…” said Astrid, staring at the bones. 

“Yeah,” said Sadness, squeezing her hand. “That’s why I’m here.” 

Astrid tilted her head. “I…I’m actually confused. I thought Hiccup was proud of the defeat of the Red Death. He saved the village, ended the war against the dragons…why would this represent sadness?” 

“Does he ever talk about it?” Asked Sadness. 

“Hm…now that you mention it…” 

“I can’t speak for Confidence, which is where Hiccup’s Pride comes from. But I know he remembers that day with sorrow. The day he had to kill a dragon to gain the tribe’s love and trust.” 

“He–” Astrid wanted to protest. She was there. She knew Stoick hadn’t wanted Hiccup to go up against the Red Death. She knew all the other teens had his back from just his training. And she, the first, loved and trusted him from that romantic flight.

But the rest of the stubborn vikings? They probably had needed more convincing. For how many of them knew the truth? That Hiccup had been disowned by his father just before? How many of them knew that Hiccup had come to help of his own volition, and not because it was expected? 

“It was fat, and angry, and gluttonous…but it was still a dragon. Just as much as Hiccup saw himself in Toothless, he saw himself in the Red Death.” 

Astrid looked to Boat Hiccup to see what he thought, but he just gave a little nod, like he agreed with it. 

“How?” Asked Astrid. “That dragon was so evil! And Hiccup so isn’t!” 

“Hiccup grew up being told that he was a walking disaster. Everything he touched was ruined. But, he was the chief’s son, with everyone watching him. Before Toothless, wouldn’t the tribe be better off without him?”

Astrid shook her head sternly. “I don’t agree with that. He had some rough spots, but everyone knew he’d work through it.” 

Sadness took her hand and started to lead her towards the skull. 

“Where are we going?”

“I think…I need to show you something.” 

Hesitant, Astrid followed him as they drew closer and closer to the skull. It only got bigger and bigger, and she realized she had forgotten how big the monster had been. A Zippleback wasn’t even a full snack for it. 

Sadness led her right up to the skull, and around, where there was a hole in the jaw.  

Inside the skull of this dragon, there was a ring of rocks. They were all different shapes and sizes, but the one farthest from her had writing on it. It was too far for her to read yet. 

“What are these?”

“These are the things that make Hiccup sad. Memories of painful things. Things he’s never forgotten, and never will.” 

Astrid tried to think if there were any moments in her life that she could attribute genuine sadness to, and came up with a few. Not as many as Hiccup had. 

Sadness dragged her closer. 

“I don’t know if I should–” 

“You should,” said Boat Hiccup. “Look at how heavy those boulders are. He’s holding them alone.” 

Sadness put the plush dragon in her hands. “I want you to see them, Astrid. I’ve always wanted to share them with you, but Fear and Denial and Self-Control wouldn’t let me.” 

Astrid sighed and allowed Sadness to pull her forward.

Chapter Text

Hiccup and Stoick had breakfast alone in their house. Astrid slept peacefully in Hiccup’s bed, made as comfortable as possible. 

Stormfly even stood guard outside, ready to silence anything that would try to wake her girl up. 

Stoick looked over to Hiccup, who was eating calmly. 

“Nervous, son?”

“No. Should I be?”

“I would say so! Your soul is on the line!” 

“Right. I guess Fear is still missing from me. We told you that the Twins pushed me off a cliff, right?” 

Stoick went red in the face as he yelled, “they did what?!” 

“Yeah. They wanted to see if I felt any fear in a very frightening situation.” 

“And…did you?” 

“Accelerated heart rate, but not much else.” 

Stoick laughed at that. “Maybe I should have you do all the things all the others are too afraid to do,” he joked. 

“Yeah, sure, whatever you need.” 

Stoick opened his mouth in shock, not expecting Hiccup to go along with it. Sarcasm? Yes. But not outright complacency. Though, he should have known better. “It was a joke…” Then he remembered the old well that dried up that no one wanted to investigate for fear of another Whispering Death, and added, “...mostly.” 

“Either way, I think I’m just killing time until Astrid wakes up. Just give me something to do or I’ll sit around doing nothing. I haven’t got the drive for anything else.” 

“We should probably make an announcement. I don’t want the village assuming the worst about you. And they should also be told to keep quiet for Astrid’s sake.” 

“Sure.” 

They finished their breakfast, and Stoick went to tell Spitelout to spread the word for an announcement. 

Almost on habit, Hiccup retrieved Fish for Toothless’ breakfast. 

“Whhaarrrruuuu,” Toothless warbled sadly. 

“What?” Asked Hiccup. “Are you still upset from earlier? Like I said, I know you’re my best friend. And you know I’m your best friend. Me not having any emotions shouldn’t change that.” 

Toothless grumbled, nuzzling against his legs. 

“Astrid’s working on it. You know that pouting isn’t going to change anything, right? Grumbling and whining isn’t going to make me feel anything anytime soon. You’re just wasting your time.” 

Toothless flopped on the ground, miserable. He absolutely hated the way his boy was acting. Where was the coddling!? 

Hiccup peaked upstairs to make sure Astrid was still blissfully asleep before he went outside. 

Toothless was aghast. Hiccup hadn’t even waited for him! The nerve!

It wasn’t long before the village had assembled in the Great Hall. Thankfully, Stoick had allowed the meeting there instead of outside in the snow. Whispers had broken out as the tribe speculated what could be happening. 

Finally, Stoick and Hiccup stood on the lip of the fireplace, ready to announce whatever it was that was such a big deal. 

“Friends, family, I thank you all for assembling on such short notice. This won’t be long, but I want to explain this once with all the facts so there is no speculation.” He wrapped an arm around Hiccup and gave him a little squeeze. “My son, Hiccup, the future chief of Berk, has had a run in with a witch.” 

More murmurs broke out among the crowd, as fear and pity erupted. 

Hiccup registered it all as just whispers. 

“We don’t have all the details, but it sounded like a Druid practicing blood magic. She was specifically targeting Hiccup, and we’re hoping that means she won’t come after anyone else here.” 

“Poor lad,” someone said nearby. 

“She attempted to steal his soul, and in doing so, has left Hiccup without any emotions. But, worry not, Astrid is in the process of fixing this all right now. Just know that Hiccup won’t act as usual, and may be rather blunt and callous in his answers. We also ask that everyone be quiet when leaving the Great Hall, as Astrid is at my house and needs silence to work. Any questions?” 

“Were you not going to consult us first, Stoick?!” Cried Axel Hofferson, Astrid’s father. 

“Gothi picked her, Axel. I had nothing to do with it.” 

Axel grumbled and crossed his arms. 

“What are we going to do about this Witch, Chief?!” Someone else shouted. 

“She hurt our own! We need to teach her a lesson!” 

“That may be, but we have no idea what we’re up against.” 

“Don’t try to attack her for my sake,” said Hiccup. “It’s not a big deal.” 

Stoick gave him a whack to the back. “Of course it’s a big deal, Son! These are your people too! They’ll do whatever they can for you.” 

Hiccup shrugged. 

“I’ll let you all know when this is cleared up. But for now, just be patient. I know that’s not our best quality.”

There was laughter at that. 

But Hiccup could see people talking passionately, no doubt trying to plan how to retaliate against the witch. 

There really was no reasoning with these people. 

—

Astrid stood on edge of the ring of rocks, dreading what personal moments she was to witness. She exhaled sharply. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

Sadness took her hand and placed it on the first rock. 

She still felt the stone under her hand, but in front of her, she saw Stoick. He looked younger, and sat at the family kitchen table at his home on Berk. He had a mug of ale in his hand. 

“Oh Val…” he moaned. “My darling, it’s been so long. Where did you go? I need you…I need you…” 

Her vision shifted, and she realized she was looking through Hiccup’s eyes as he watched from the stairs. 

“He’s such a handful…” Stoick continued. Astrid could see now that he was drunk, and obviously nothing good would come of it. 

Stoick sobbed. “I can’t do this without you. I don’t know how to handle him…I wish he was the one taken and you were here. I wish…I wish.” 

“Daddy?” A young Hiccup’s voice croaked out. 

Stoick didn’t answer. 

“Daddy?” He asked a little louder. “Would you tell me a story?” 

“Go to bed, son,” Stoick said sternly. 

“But…” 

“I said go to sleep!” And the drunken man threw the mug at Hiccup, thankfully not hitting him, but scaring him all the same. Hiccup scrambled up the stairs, and the vision ended. 

Astrid felt Hiccup’s sorrow as her own, and her heart ached desperately. 

“He apologized later,” said Sadness. “That was the anniversary of losing mom. He wasn’t like that all the time. But…it will be a trend.” 

Astrid could see exactly why Hiccup had recommended she take on this mission. She knew he had a rough childhood, she just didn’t realize how rough. No doubt, if Stoick was here in his place, he wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Sadness took her hand and pulled her to the next one. 

“Do I have to see all of them?” 

Sadness didn’t say anything, only placed her hand on the next rock. 

Again, she was watching through Hiccup’s eyes. 

And again, Stoick was in front of her, this time, looking right at her, with a face full of anger. 

Stoick was a large man. She had always thought so. But when she was a kid, she was rarely so close to him, and never when he was this angry. Seeing him towering over Hiccup like this, made her realize just how small Hiccup had been for most of his life. It was something she had forgotten in the wake of his growth spurt. 

Stoick held a Terrible Terror in his fist, around the neck. The poor thing scrambled, scratching and biting to get free, but Stoick held it sternly. 

“No daddy please!” Little Hiccup sobbed. “He’s my friend! He didn’t do nothing wrong!” 

Stoick’s nostrils flared. “Friend? Friend!? Hiccup, we do not make friends with dragons!” He emphasized each word as he shook the Terror. “These beasts are dangerous and steal food!”

“Dangerous? But he’s so small!” 

“That doesn’t mean he isn’t lethal, son. His fire can seriously hurt a full grown viking…so who knows what it could do to you.” 

“But he wouldn’t hurt me! Honest! He just wants to play!” 

“Dragons don’t play, Hiccup. They kill and eat. It’s best to kill them first.” And with that Stoick grabbed the head of the creature. 

Astrid yanked her hand away from the rock, knowing exactly what Stoick was about to do to that Terror. Her own father had done it to several when she was growing up. But for her, it was cool and awesome, and not murdering a pet. Now that Astrid knew how friendly Terrors could be, the image made her sick and weak in the knees.  

“Astrid?”

She shook her head. “I couldn’t…I know you wanted me to see but…” 

Sadness held her hand as Boat Hiccup rested a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t want you to think dad is a bad person. He’s changed a lot since we found Toothless. But Hiccup was so small and fragile, and Stoick was so big…”

“I get it.” Astrid breathed. “My dad hurt my feelings a few times growing up. He didn’t want to, but it’s how we learn. And back then, the dragons were a pretty big threat.” It doesn’t excuse what she saw, but she understood. 

In a way, it made sense. Hiccup was always different from them. He had different priorities. He found beauty and wonder in things that other vikings wouldn’t have noticed at face value.

It makes sense that this memory would grate on his sensitive soul.   

Sadness waited until she was ready, and then placed her hand on the next stone. 

She could see through his eyes. Hiccup was running, narrowly ducking into the forge and the back room, before slamming the door shut. He bolted it closed with a wooden plank before the wood shuttered. 

“Oh come on, Hiccup,” Snotlout’s voice spoke through the muffled door. “Don’t be such a chicken!” 

Hiccup shuttered and sobbed, wiping his face with his hand. It came away covered in blood. 

He seemed to realize there were windows and went about closing and bolting both of those as well. Thin trails of light were the only illumination. 

Hiccup panted and tried to stay silent. Astrid wondered if this memory didn’t also have fear in it. 

The door rattled again. A faint crunching noise as Snotlout threw himself against it to try to break it down. Hiccup just placed his tiny hands on the wood to try to hold it back. 

“What’s all this then?” Gobbler asked, on the other side. 

“Hiccup and I were playing tag, and he ran in here because he doesn’t want to be it. He’s too slow. He can’t tag anyone.” 

“That’s not true,” Hiccup sobbed, far too quietly to be heard. “He hurt me. He hurt me and I hate him. Gods I hate him. I wish he would get eaten by a dragon already.” 

“Hiccup, come on out and play with your friends.” Gobber reprimanded. 

“I don’t want to! And they aren’t my friends!” He cried, his voice breaking horribly. 

Astrid winced. She knew exactly when this was. About five to six years ago, when they all started going through bodily changes, the boy’s voices dropped. Not overnight, but for Snotlout, Tuffnut, and Fishlegs, there was a little awkward squeaking, and then they were in the lower register. For poor Hiccup, his voice was out of control, wobbling and croaking as he spoke. It was a joke to everyone, even her. It lasted a year, easily, and he avoided talking as much as possible since everything he said was laughed at.

She had totally forgotten.  

“He’s so sensitive,” said Snotlout. “The Chief babies him too much.” 

“Leave me alone,” Hiccup begged in a whisper, his hands still pressing against the door. “Leave me alone.” 

“Has anyone seen Hiccup?” Stoick’s voice called into the forge. 

“No no no no no,” Hiccup moaned. “Please no.” 

“He’s in the back, Stoick. Looks like the lad is cheating at tag.” 

“It’s not that big of a deal…” Snotlout tried to deflect. 

“Son. Get out here.” 

“Please no. Please no.” Hiccup croaked in his warble. “I don’t want to.”  

“Hiccup. That’s an order.”

“No!” 

At that moment, Stoick ripped the door clear off its hinges, leaving Hiccup exposed and very very afraid. 

Stoick went from angry to concerned. “Son? What happened?” 

Hiccup began sobbing, his voice making him sound like a sad goose. “I know you said they only pick on me because I make it easy, but I was trying—I tried so hard dad.” He didn’t place any blame on anyone, or said who did what. 

Stoick let out a disappointed sigh. “Alright. Come on. Let’s see if Gothi can stitch that up.” 

The vision ended, and Astrid had to take a moment to process. 

Sadness explained, “after that injury, Gobber reinforced the door to our workshop. He promised we would always be able to hide there if something like that happened again.”

“And did it?” Astrid felt like she already knew. 

“Weekly. Usually Snotlout. Sometimes the twins.” 

Astrid felt awful. When they were kids, she remembered Snotlout and the twins picking on Hiccup, and she remembered she would just roll her eyes and ignore it. 

He was suffering, and she did nothing. 

How often did these bitter feelings consume him? Did they influence his mood and decisions now? 

Wait! She didn’t need to wonder!

“These memories…how often do they affect his day to day decisions?”

“Well, he might not think about them often, but they shaped him into the person he is today. He is who he is because of them. So, in a way, they affect him completely.” 

Astrid exhaled slowly, feeling bitter bile on her tongue. That’s what she was afraid of. 

But, if she had stopped this from happening, would Hiccup be the same person he is now? A real conundrum if there was one. 

So Astrid allowed Sadness to guide her through the memories. She tried not to dwell on them, and only appreciate them as a part of Hiccup. Some of the more recent memories she had seen in real life, though she had no idea they affected him so profoundly. She wept silent tears at the sight of Toothless being tackled and bound with rope by her family and other adults from the tribe. That day, she had held Hiccup back as his best friend was carted away. Seeing it through Hiccup’s eyes, fresh, stung to the core.

“Dad?” Hiccup’s voice pierced the silence in this new vision. She saw Stoick sitting at the dining room table, ale mug in hand.

“Hmm?”

“Would you come tuck me in, and tell me a story?” So much nervousness was in his voice, and she worried what could come from such an innocent request.

“Aren’t you a little old for bedtime stories?” Stoick asked, his tone short.

Hiccup hunched his shoulders. “Yeah, you’re right, I just…” He didn’t finish his sentence, just sighed and went up to bed.

He laid there, the light from the main floor casting an orange glow on the wooden wall. It was quiet in the room, but anything but quiet inside his mind. 

Way to go, genius.

You’re a hazard.

I wish the dragons would take you.

Go jump off a cliff.

For someone so small, you sure do a lot of damage.

Why don’t you just stay at home, where you can’t mess anything up? But I’m sure you’d screw that up too.

It’s only because you’re the chief’s son that you haven’t been exiled yet. It won’t save you forever.

Get lost, roach.

You shouldn’t be allowed to eat. You don’t deserve rations.

Hiccup threw off his blankets and stood, rifling through the items on his desk. Then he uncovered a horrible sight.

His father’s dagger.

Little Hiccup gripped the handle tightly, the blade shaking in his trembling hands. In two breaths, he swiped the blade across his palm. With almost no effort, the dagger cut and he began to bleed.

“No Hiccup!” Astrid shouted, not caring if this was a memory or not. It didn’t make a difference. 

So he raised it up to his neck, feeling the tip resting on his throat. All he had to do was push…push…

Tears slipped from his eyes as he held the knife steady. 

“Hiccup!”

Stoick’s voice jolted him and he dropped the dagger with a clatter.

Father and son looked at each other, speechless. Hiccup only took in the red face and the heaving shoulders and fell backwards on his rear.

“I was just—I didn’t—I only—…” Hiccup stuttered as he scooted away into a corner. “I’m sorry…” he finally whispered.

“What were you doing…?” Stoick’s steps were slow and so so careful. “Hiccup…?”

“I-I-I was…” He couldn’t lie. There was nothing to lie about. Stoick saw him. He knew exactly what he stopped. Hiccup started to sob and curled up into a little ball. “I’m sorry…”

Stoick just stood there, not coming any closer.

Hiccup gasped out a breath, and then finally admitted, “I don’t want to live anymore.”

Utterly dejected, Stoick fell to his knees in front of his broken son. “Oh Hiccup…”

Hiccup couldn’t fight or argue or insist. All he could do was cry. Cry and apologize. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”

Stoick finally got some sense and scooped his son up into his arms. He pet his hair, and rubbed his back and just hushed him softly, just as he did when he was an infant.

Finally, when sobs became hiccups, Stoick spoke. “Once upon a time, there was a very mighty viking named Hiccup…”

The vision faded out and Astrid stood there, braced against the stone. Now, tears began to fall. She had tried so very hard not to let it. But to know that Hiccup, her wonderful, brave, and clever friend had tried…he had felt so small and so insignificant…

“You okay?” Asked Boat Hiccup. 

“I didn’t know…” She whispered. “I didn’t know it was that bad…he was always so sarcastic, I thought–” 

Sadness tugged on her hand. “We’re almost done.” 

“I don’t know if I can see any more.” 

“They’re the most important,” Sadness insisted.

Astrid relented. They arrived at the last two. These were the biggest of the bunch, the one next to her having writing on it. She didn’t have the chance to read it before Sadness placed her hand on the first rock. 

Hiccup stumbled into the great hall, the room dark but the light from the sun creating a rectangle of white on the stone floor. 

“I should have known. I should have seen the signs,” Stoick spoke from behind him.

Hiccup turned around, trying to make eye contact with his father. “Dad–”

The chief whirled on him and roared, “We had a deal!”

Hiccup ran his hands through his hair. “I know we did... But that was before... Ugh, it's all so messed up!”

“So everything in the ring... A trick?! A lie?”

“I screwed up. I should have told you before now. Take this out on me, be mad at me, but please... just don't hurt Toothless.”

Astrid gasped, finally pinpointing the moment this was.

“The dragon? That's what you're worried about? Not the people you almost killed?!” 

“He was just protecting me! He's not dangerous!” Hiccup pleaded. 

“They've killed hundreds of us!”

Hiccup raised his voice right back. “AND WE'VE KILLED THOUSANDS OF THEM! They defend themselves, that's all! They raid us because they have to! If they don't bring enough food back, they'll be eaten themselves. There's something else on their island, Dad... it's a dragon like–”

“--Their island? So you've been to the nest…”

Fear warbled Hiccup’s voice. “Did I say nest?”

“How did you find it?!”

“No...I didn't. Toothless did. Only a dragon can find the island.” Astrid watched with dawning horror as a thought seemed to occur to Stoick. His eyes widened and he turned away from Hiccup. “Oh, no, no. Dad, no! Dad! It's not what you think! You don't know what you're up against! It's like nothing you've ever seen!” 

Stoick continued to ignore his son, though he begged, near tears behind him.

“Dad, please! I promise you that you can't win this one! No! Dad, no!” Hiccup balled up his fists and screamed, with every ounce of power in his small frame. He clung to his father’s arm, desperate to be heard. “FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME!” 

Like he weighed nothing, because he didn’t to Stoick, the chief threw him off and onto the floor.

Scared, hurt, betrayed, and confused, Hiccup just stared at the man he called his father.

Stoick turned then, just a shadow silhouetted by the midday sun. He looked like a dragon himself, with the horns on his helmet and his mountainous stature. “You've thrown your lot in with them. You're not a Viking.” 

Hiccup shuttered a sob.

A hint of sorrow traced Stoick’s voice as he declared, “You're not my son.”

Astrid pulled her hand back then, breathing hard and trying not to let it hurt. But it did. Oh how her heart hurt . 

She knew that it all worked out in the end. They defeated the Red Death and ended the war with the dragons. 

And now she was here, standing on the beach where it happened (metaphorically) and he looked at that moment with sorrow. Perhaps it would just be something she never understood. If a dragon had to die, she was glad it was that one. Nothing good could come from it. 

Finally, she turned to look at the final rock, the biggest of them all. 

Innocence. 

That’s what was written on it. 

“Innocence? I thought you said—“ Astrid pointed at the rock, and then to the distance. “Unless Childhood Innocence is different in some way…” 

Sadness shook his head. “Just look.” 

The vision was short, but that’s all it needed to be. She was in Stoick’s house, Hiccup’s childhood home. Hiccup was sitting in a bed, watching as Toothless excitedly pranced around the room. 

“Toothless stop, don’t—“ 

Astrid felt it then, just as he felt it. The strangeness, the wrongness, the ‘nothing where there should be something’ness. She felt the sensation of wood pressing against her shin. 

Hiccup looked down at the blanket he wore. Hesitating before he peeled back the covers. He breathed heavily before he did so, and revealed his legs. 

One in tact. One replaced with a metal contraption below the knee. 

A million thoughts raced through his head, and she could only glean a few, though they were dark. 

“Of course this would happen to me.” Was the last she heard before Toothless interrupted his train of thought. 

Then the vision ended. 

“So…this is a grave,” Astrid mused. “Innocence died when he…” 

“That’s right, Astrid.” Sadness squeezed her hand. “Now that I have shown you everything, we can go.” 

She sputtered. “Go? Go?! Just like that?! You drop all these major axe heads on me and then just expect me to stroll out of here?” 

“We can wait a little,” supplied Boat Hiccup. “We’ve seen these memories. We’re used to them. It’s hard to remember that no one else is.”

Boat Hiccup looked more like her current day Hiccup than Sadness did, and she found herself wrapping him up into a hug. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologize.” He patted her head, completely unbothered by her breakdown. 

Sadness hugged them too, his head resting on her stomach. “Thank you for being here Astrid.”

She pet Sadness’ hair and kissed his forehead. Then she stuffed a hand into her pocket, finding a clean handkerchief. She wiped her cheeks. “Hiccup is so going to get it for making me cry.” 

A blubbering noise next to her caught her attention. “I-I-I-I I’m sorry! I ju-ju-just thought you should know!!” 

Astrid sighed, and gave him a little pat on the head. “Yeah yeah. I know. I’m joking.”

Chapter Text

The next schema they rolled onto was a pebbly beach, much like sadness, but it was a short beach and then tall cliffs. 

“Oh, I don’t like this…” said Sadness, with worry.

“Calm down. It’ll be fine.” Astrid said, though as she glanced over the cliff face, she worried that they’d have to climb. 

“Looks like there’s a crack,” Sadness pointed down the way. 

Indeed, it looked like the cliff was just a wall. 

“Good eye!” She rubbed his head affectionately. 

Sadness actually smiled at her. 

Astrid and Boat Hiccup both took hold of the boat and hoisted it onto the beach, then they all together walked down to the crevasse. 

Astrid went first, noticing that there was a declining slope to the rocky path. Once they reached the bottom, the path was blocked by a shield wedged in the rock. 

Astrid frowned in confusion. 

“The cove by Raven’s point,” provided Boat Hiccup. “Hiccup brought a shield with him when he went to confront Toothless, but got it stuck in the rock.” 

“Oh yeah!” She laughed. “I always wondered how it got there.” 

Astrid and Boat Hiccup went over, while Sadness crawled under. 

The cove was almost exactly how she remembered it. A large basin in the rocks, with a spring in the middle. The main difference was this cove was covered in flowers. All closed, mind you, and desaturated, but flowers nonetheless. 

A new Hiccup laid on the ground sprawled out among the sleeping blooms. He wore a coral colored shirt, and a crown of flowers on his head. 

“I didn’t know Hiccup liked flowers,” Astrid commented as she carefully stepped through the garden. 

“He doesn’t feel any more strongly about them than most people,” explained Sadness.

Boat Hiccup elaborated, “These are most likely representative. Like the boulders in the last schema.” 

“Representative of what?” 

Boat Hiccup shrugged. “I can’t remember, not until he wakes up.” He gestured to the Hiccup on the ground. 

Astrid huffed. Maybe she could glean information from the flowers themselves then? Gently, she touched a closed bloom and watched it open in front of her eyes. 

Then she was hit with a memory. It was short, and she couldn’t quite glean the context. Stoick picked him up in a side hug and shook him slightly. “Good on ya, lad. Well done!” 

“Thanks dad,” Hiccup returned, sheepishly. 

And then it was over. 

Well, this place had to be a good emotion at least. With the flowers…maybe he was Love?

There was only one way to find out. 

Still careful of the flowers, Astrid danced her way over to the new emotion, and stood over him, trying to see his face. 

His eyes were open, but unfocused and dull as he stared at the sky. 

She leaned in more to catch his attention. 

He noticed her, and turned ever so slightly to meet her eye. “Astrid?” 

“Hi,” she smiled at him. “Are you Love?” 

He shook his head slowly. “I wish I was. I wish I could be anything but this dull nothingness in me.” 

“Woof, if I didn’t know better, I’d assume you were Sadness.” 

“Is that what I sound like?” Sadness sniffed. 

She just patiently patted his head, but kept looking at Flower Hiccup. “So, do you have significant memories associated with you? Like Sadness had these boulders that represented the saddest memories Hiccup had.” 

Flower Hiccup jerked a thumb backwards, gesturing at some larger flowers blooming near the rock wall. 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” 

She waltzed over and prepared to touch a sunflower, though she hesitated for a moment, remembering the tragedy she saw the last time she looked at Hiccup’s core memories. 

Astrid shook her head. “No, this is a different emotion. This will be better!” 

Her fingers caressed the yellow petals, and she felt a sharp pain in her shoulder as she was thrust into the memory. 

She just heard Hiccup’s voice as he was talking to a much younger her. “Ow! What was that for?” 

“That—was for scaring me.” She said, with a little smirk on her face. 

“Oh so what, is this going to become a thing now? Between you and me—?” 

It was the weirdest sensation of being kissed by herself. It wasn’t the same as her memory of kissing Hiccup that day. Because it was how he remembered her kiss felt. 

Belatedly, she realized the vision had gone dark—Hiccup had closed his eyes—and then she was there again, all smirks and smugness, and a blush that she would have denied for days back then. 

“I could get used to it.” Hiccup responded, casual to most, but to her, who listened to him ramble on for hours, he sounded absolutely winded. 

And then it was over, and she was in the cove. 

“Astrid? You okay?” Sadness asked, holding her hand. “You’re all red.” 

She couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m fine. Just…embarrassed.” 

She allowed that thought to linger for a moment. What would shame have to do with flowers? 

“You aren’t Shame—or Embarrassed, right?” She called to Flower Hiccup. 

From where he laid on the ground, he sighed. “Guess not.” 

She looked at Boat Hiccup. “What about you? Shame or Embarrassed?” 

He shook his head. “Doesn’t sound familiar.” 

“Keep going,” Sadness tugged on her arm. “There’s more.” 

Astrid gave him a little smile, then reached out and touched a large rose. 

This moment didn’t take place much farther back than the last one. She could hear screams, and her whole body was drenched. But most importantly, Stoick had his hands wrapped around Hiccup’s and stared up at him with sad eyes. 

“I’m proud to call you my son.” 

This memory made her chest ache. Coupled with what she saw in Sadness’ schema, it was no surprise that this was an important memory. 

“Thanks, dad.” Hiccup returned, right before the memory ended. 

Sadness had also touched the flower, trying to be helpful. “It was right before Hiccup went up against the Red Death,” he explained. “You dropped him off on the boat, but it sank before he could free Toothless. Dad saved us from nearly drowning, and then saved Toothless.” 

“Hmm.” Astrid hummed. “I get it. The last thing Hiccup saw him do was chain Toothless up. It must have meant a lot for Stoick to humble himself like that.” 

“Hiccup loves dad. Even when they butted heads, they loved each other.” 

She nodded, knowing it was true. She had a hard time believing this wasn’t Love’s schema. 

Instead of guessing again, she looked at the last flower. This one was bigger than the others, about the size of a dinner plate. A black Dahlia. Black was an awfully dreary color though, right? 

She placed her fingers on the petals. 

The memory came and went quickly, though she didn’t understand it at first and had to review it a few times. 

At first, the soft petals were under her fingers, and then, a cool, rough, scaly nose. The vision started off black, as Hiccup had his eyes closed. 

And then they opened, and Toothless was there. He stayed for only a moment, and then darted away. 

Astrid watched it three times before she caught the subtle signs. Then she got goosebumps. 

“That was the first time, wasn’t it?” 

Sadness nodded. 

“Wow…” she whispered, suddenly feeling like she had intruded on a sacred moment. 

So their first kiss, words of affirmations from his father, and training Toothless. What emotion did they have in common? Nothing for her, since she felt very different between each one. 

“Oh!” She exclaimed, garnering all the attention from the Hiccups. It seemed so obvious now. “Happiness! You’re Happiness!” 

The movement in the schema was slight as all the flowers in the cove slowly bloomed. 

Happiness scrambled to his feet as his color came back. 

Astrid smiled proudly. 

Happiness ran to her, stumbling slightly as he hadn’t regained his stance before sprinting, and threw his arms around her. “Astrid, you genius!” 

She hugged him back. “I know.” 

Sadness also joined in on the hug, and the smile that Happiness wore changed. 

The two emotions looked at each other with bittersweet smiles. “Hi Sadness.” 

“Good to see you, Happiness.” 

“Ohhh I get it now!” Astrid exclaimed as she watched. “What you meant when you said you influence each other. Happy-sad is what you feel when…well, like at a funeral for someone old, or saying goodbye.” 

They both nodded, agreeing. “We don’t see each other often,” said Happiness. “Bittersweet isn’t a common feeling. Especially for Hiccup. Last he felt it was when he left Berk for the Edge.” 

Astrid nodded, feeling the same. 

Suddenly, the black dahlia beside them exploded into petals, and a spectral Toothless appeared, bounding around in the flowers. 

“There you are, Bud!” Happiness cheered. “I wondered where you went!” 

Astrid smiled as she watched Toothless frolic. “I guess it makes sense that Toothless would be in the Happy schema.”

“It’s Hiccup’s favorite memory. Well, I’d say it’s a tie between the three, but being around Toothless always makes Hiccup happy.” 

“And I don’t?” She sassed, a hand on her hip. 

“Oh, he’s happy around you, alright.” He smirked, knowingly. “But there’s other, more nuanced emotions at work.” 

“Like what?” 

“I think I’ll leave that up to them to explain it.” 

Sadness also smirked but quickly looked away. 

Happiness jolted slightly. “Wow! I just—Astrid! You’re here!” 

She chuckled. “What? You just noticed?” 

“Yes! I mean—sometimes, when he’s thinking of you, there’s an aspect of you that appears here. But you’re really here, right? How? This is crazy!” 

Boat Hiccup, who had been quietly examining the flowers up until this point, answered. “A witch took Hiccup’s soul. Gothi retrieved it and put it into a tea, and had Astrid consume it. We’re in her body.” 

Happiness looked surprised. “Wow really? How bizarre!” 

“That’s what happened?!?” Sadness bemoaned. “Oh that’s horrible!” 

Astrid just instinctively pulled him into a one-armed hug at her side. She felt like she was getting rather good at handling him. “I mean, it’s not great, but we’re dealing with it.” 

“And look at how much closer we’ve grown together because of it!” Happiness chirped. His smile was blinding. 

“Ah, right, Happiness. Always looking on the positive side.” 

“Is that why I was—how to explain it?—asleep?” 

“Yep. All aspects of Hiccup’s personality are asleep. So I have to go wake them up before I give him his soul back. You are the fourth.” 

He smirked. “You’ve only done four?” 

Astrid groaned. “What do you mean, only?” 

“Technically only three,” clarified Sadness. “He’s still asleep.” He pointed at Boat Hiccup. 

“Ugh, right. How many more are there?” 

“Well,” Happiness started listing them off on his fingers. “There’s Creativity, Fear, Love—“ 

“Wait!” Astrid patted her pockets and then pulled out the notebook she had earlier. “Write them down in here!” 

“Good thinking!” 

Astrid peered over his shoulder as he and Sadness collaborated to fill out a list of all the aspects. As they worked, she noticed Boat Hiccup wandering around between the flowers again. 

She contemplated taking the list and just reading off all the names to see if he woke up, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t work like that. Sure, she had guessed a few times, but when she woke them up, it was when it was clear. She wasn’t guessing, she knew! 

“I think that’s all of them,” said Happiness, giving her back her book. 

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” She glanced over the list and checked off Happiness, Sadness, and Creativity. “Happiness?” 

“Yes Astrid?” 

“Would you mind if Sadness stayed here with you and Toothless? He said he was lonely in his schema.” 

Sadness blubbered. “Y-y-y-you’re dumping me here?” 

Astrid patted his head. “I have a lot of work to do, and I think you’ll have a better time here.” 

“We’ll have lots of fun!” Said Happiness, hugging Sadness. “And then we can meet up with them after Astrid puts everything back to rights.” 

Sadness nodded in agreement. “Good idea. Some of the schemas are unpleasant anyway.” 

Astrid’s smile deflated. “Great. So excited for that…” 

“Ready to move on?” Asked Boat Hiccup. 

“Yep! See you guys later!” 

“Good luck!” The other two cheered. 

Boat Hiccup was silent until they made it up and out of the crevasse. “Wanted to leave behind the burden?” 

Astrid gawked at him. “Rude! He is not a burden!” 

“Astrid, level with me. Sadness, here and now looks like a personified Hiccup. You feel bad for him, yeah. But take a step back. When our teammates are bummed out about something, don’t you get annoyed? You see them dragging their feet and you get mad. And with your own sadness, you get frustrated. Why would Hiccup feel any different?” 

She shuffled her feet on the beach, considering his words. “I guess…it depends on the reason we’re sad. If it’s because of something trivial, then I’d see it as a burden. But if I’m mourning the loss of something, that’s important.” 

“Good answer. I bet Sadness would be happy to know you don’t hate him.” 

Astrid mulled over this as they pushed the boat into the water. 

—

Back in the real world, Hiccup was on inventory duty. It was the perfect mind-numbing task for an emotionless husk. 

“Hiccup!” Fishlegs cried, bursting in the door. 

“Hey Fishlegs,” he responded, unperturbed. 

“You have to come quick! It’s Toothless! The twins and Snotlout—I told them not to but…I can’t explain, you just have to see for yourself!” 

Calmly, Hiccup set his paper and charcoal down and then allowed Fishlegs to herd him, with much prodding to go faster, down to the edge of town. 

Though, the smear of blood across the snow should have been a give away. 

Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Snotlout stood by woefully, heads lowered and tears on their cheeks. Toothless laid in the snow, unmoving and surrounded by a growing sea of red. 

“Huh.” Said Hiccup, hands on his waist. “That’s…not good.” 

“Not good?!” Shouted Snotlout. “Your dragon is dead, Hiccup! And that’s all you have to say?!” He grabbed him by the shoulders and shook with passion. “Can’t you find one scrap of humanity in this husk? Can’t you push out a single tear for your best friend?! Or does he mean nothing to you?!” He nearly wailed. 

Hiccup screwed up his lip and then shrugged. “I got nothing. I’m sure when my emotions come back I’ll be devastated and kicking myself over this but…yeah, I just don’t feel anything. I know I should, but zilch.” 

Toothless let out a long mournful whine as he rolled around in the cranberry juice.

“I mean, maybe it’s just because I knew you were faking, but the image would have at least freaked me out for a minute.” 

Snotlout punched him in the shoulder. 

“Ow.” 

He then grabbed him by the face and said sternly. “We’re going to get you to emote something by the end of the week or my name isn’t Snotlout Jorgensen! You hear me?!” 

“Yes. I hear you. And please, be my guest.”

Chapter Text

“So, just to clarify, you dug a new well because the old one started smelling funny. And people who drank from it got sick?” 

“That’s the gist of it, Son.” Stoick rested his hands on his hips. “So are you going to help?” 

“I don’t have a good reason to say no. It’s not like I’m scared.” 

“Excellent! We’ll get the ropes ready!” 

It was only about a half an hour later that Hiccup found himself harnessed up and standing in front of the old well. His assembled friends had the rope, and were prepared to lower him into the hole. 

Toothless looked on, unsure as well. He couldn’t go down there. He couldn’t protect his boy.

Hiccup gave him a thumbs up and a faked smile, clearly seeing that his dragon was upset. He climbed the wall of the well and sat on the edge. 

“Ready?” Asked Snotlout, the first in line holding the rope. 

Hiccup held out a torch for Toothless to ignite, and then nodded to Snotlout. He then began his descent into the darkness. 

—

Astrid and Boat Hiccup disembarked on the next island. There were no rock walls waiting for them this time, but the fog persisted. The sky above the water was a midday overcast gray, but in this new island, it was dark and sinister, a muted purple with variegated streaks across it. Silhouettes of spiraling towers dotted the hazy landscape, and dead trees and shrubs covered the ground. 

A raven cawed. 

“I’m guessing this is fear,” Astrid mused aloud. “Because, not going to lie, I’m kind of scared just looking at it.”

“Want to hold my hand?” 

She scoffed, but still did take his hand. 

As they stepped on the black, fog hidden ground, the fog rolled away slightly to reveal a path of misshapen stones. Astrid took the lead, and urged them on. 

It was hard to see, but soon they arrived at a small hill. The hill had a stone post and lintel entryway, where the stone path led too. 

“Nope,” Astrid stated as she began to back away from the mound. 

As if her words triggered it, a specter of Hiccup appeared next to her. This was not an aspect of him like Boat Hiccup or the other emotions, but a literal ghost. Perhaps a memory? He was young. About 8 or 9 if she had to guess. He was transparent, and gave off a bluish glow.

A young Dagur was with him as well, about 12, but still much taller and beefier. 

“So…I just have to go in, and bring back a skull?” Said little Hiccup.

“That’s correct, brother! Once you give me a skull, I will know you are truly as brave as any other viking, and I will take care of Snotlout for you.”  

Young Hiccup squared his shoulders, and took a deep breath. “I am brave. I’m the bravest of them all!”  

“You bet you are! Now, go get 'em!”

Astrid watched with dread as the ghost of her friend stomped towards the burial mound, before disappearing. 

“Ah,” said Boat Hiccup. “Now I remember this place.” 

“It’s the burial site on the south side of the island,” Astrid confirmed. “Always freaked me the hell out. But I never went inside.” 

“Well, Hiccup went in only once. I have a feeling it’s going to look different from how it really is.” 

“I’m doing this for Hiccup,” Astrid whispered as she went toward the door. 

Once they were both inside, ghost Hiccup returned, creeping forward slowly. Suddenly, the stone door shifted and closed on him.

Hiccup ran through them, at the stone, screaming, “Dagur! Dagur don’t! Please!”  

All that responded was an echoing laugh, and then silence. 

Hiccup pounded his tiny fists on the door, crying. “I’m so stupid. I never should have listened to him. Brotherhood…go to hell.” And then he disappeared again, plunging Astrid and Boat Hiccup into pure darkness. 

Astrid shook her head in rage. “How did I know that was going to happen?”

“Now what? Think we can bust through the door?” 

“I don’t think we need to. I think we just need to see where this leads. Hopefully, when I find and awaken Fear, he can lead us out.” 

“That’s optimistic.” 

Astrid wished for a light source, and then reached into her dress pocket. She felt a metal ring and pulled, yanking out a lit lantern. 

“This is such a handy trick. I wish it worked in the real world.” 

Boat Hiccup gave her a smile, now that he was illuminated. 

Astrid turned to face the inside of the mound, and was greeted by the unpleasant sight of a single room crypt. There were two stone caskets on each side, and the walls had several nooks carved out with mummified remains resting on them. 

“Yeah, this absolutely would have traumatized me as a child.” 

As she raised the lantern to get more light, the room seemed to stretch, drawing out into a long corridor that continued on and on, further than the light could reach. 

“I’m killing him. I’m going to kill Hiccup.” 

“Well, it’ll be a nice way to go,” said Boat Hiccup. “Depending how you do it.” 

“What?” 

“How you kill us. Quick and easy? Slow and painful? He’s never forgotten the time you stepped on his face.” 

“I never—was that back during dragon fighting? I did a lot of things back then that I'm not proud of.” 

“I didn’t say he didn’t like it.” 

Astrid paused and slowly turned to him. “Are you saying–no. I’m gonna stop you right there. I don’t want to know.” 

Together, they journeyed down the crypt, the skulls of the ancients staring at them as they walked.

“They shouldn’t be looking at us,” Astrid commented. “If the bodies were interred here, the skulls should be facing up or laying sideways. They shouldn’t be facing us.” 

Boat Hiccup nodded at the observation. “Well, it is a nightmare realm, it’s going to be whatever Hiccup thinks is the scariest.”

“I didn’t think skulls bothered him.” 

“Not so much skulls as death. His, his family, his friends, the dragons, he fears losing them, or them suffering. And who could blame him?” 

“I mean…I think that’s a pretty universal fear. I’m afraid of losing my loved ones too.” 

“That’s probably why I knew it,” Boat Hiccup mused. “Since we haven’t woken Fear up, I don’t have memories of this emotion unless prompted.” 

“Like the specter at the front door?” 

“Exactly.” 

“Your memories are asleep, like you, and the other emotions.” 

“Yeah. Kinda sucks.” 

“I’m working as fast as I can.” 

They walked for a little while in silence, the sense of dread and fear falling over them like the environment dictated. The lantern light didn’t seem to be enough, and the air grew colder and colder. 

Astrid tried and failed to suppress a shiver. 

“Cold?” Asked Boat Hiccup.

“A little.” 

He wrapped an arm around her, though it didn’t do much to ease her mind. 

A snap sounded behind them, and Astrid whirled around, hanging the lantern out. “Who’s there?” 

No one but darkness and bones. 

“Fear?! Is that you? It’s me, Astrid!” 

There was a very distinct sigh from the other end, but nothing else. 

“I hate this place I hate this place I hate this place…” Astrid muttered as she turned back around and continued on. 

Boat Hiccup was just quiet as they moved together. 

Eventually, they reached the end of the crypt. It looked exactly as it had before it stretched. Just a wall, with several deep niches with skeletons laying inside of them. 

“Great, so this is the end?” 

Boat Hiccup shrugged. “I guess so. Bummer.”

She scoffed. “Yeah bummer! What do we do now?!” Then she glanced down at the lantern and noticed the flame was dancing rapidly, more than it should be in stagnant air. She held her arm up to the wall and felt a draft. 

“This is open…” she held the lantern close to the niche and tried to see to the other side but it was black. “He doesn’t expect me to crawl through there, does he?” 

“I don’t know if we have any other options.” 

Astrid groaned and gave Boat Hiccup the lantern. “I’ll go first.” She shoved the skeleton off to the side, wiping her hands on her skirt after. 

Boat Hiccup set the lantern on the floor, and then made a step for her with his interlocked hands. 

“Thank you, sir,” she mocked a curtsy before placing her foot in his hands and stepping up, face first and on her belly into the hole. 

“How is it?” He asked. 

“Narrow. Dark. Can you hold the light up?” 

With the light, Astrid could see that the recess went on a few feet, but then it became dark again. She army crawled in, and just when her feet were able to touch, there was a cacophonous slam and it went pitch black. 

“Hiccup?” She called back. “Hiccup!”

There was no answer. 

Astrid slammed her fists into the rock. This schema sucked. She took a deep breath, doing her best to calm herself. “The sooner I find Fear, the sooner we can get out of here.” 

She continued to pull herself through the little crevasse, the ceiling occasionally bumping against her head or shoulders. Just when she thought she had reached the other side, it kept going. Another foot, and then another, and another. And it was getting narrower, as her shoulder blades scraped against the rough rock. 

It was so silent. All she could hear was her labored breathing and the catching of her dress. And this was a darkness she’d never known. It was cold, unforgiving, but alive. It felt like it was there, watching her, waiting for something. 

Finally, finally, her hand reached out and didn’t touch the rock. She slid over to turn around and get her feet out first, and then lowered herself down. First one foot down, as she searched for the floor with her toe. When she couldn’t find it, she let down her other foot to try to reach further. Still nothing. 

Dare she let go and hope for the best? 

She scrambled her feet against the wall to try to find a foothold, and ended up dislodging a rock. It knocked against the stone as it fell, and then again…

Never

Reaching

The

Bottom.

“No…” Astrid whispered. 

She tried to climb back onto the ledge, but couldn’t get enough leverage with her feet. She started to panic. Up until now, she had been on edge and uncomfortable, but now she was truly starting to be afraid. 

“Hiccup! Hiccup if you can hear me, please help! Please help me!” She cried out to the cave. This was Hiccup’s soul, after all. Surely he was still in charge? “Fear! I know this is your schema! Wake up and help me!” 

But nothing happened. Utter silence, utter darkness, nothing but the sheer helplessness drowning her. 

Astrid felt her arms slide towards the edge, and her breath caught in a gasp. She didn’t want to cry, but she did. This was her worst nightmare. She hated being helpless. That’s why she always worked so hard to be strong and defend herself, so she wouldn’t be helpless. 

Her arms slipped again, and she desperately clawed her fingers into the rough stone. 

What would happen if she died here? Would she just wake up? Or would she die in real life as well? The ritual would end, of course, and she’d have failed Hiccup. 

And if she did die, he wouldn’t even be sad about it. 

The very thought made her outright sob. 

A hand clamped onto her wrist. “Astrid!” 

“Fear?!” 

“No, your travel buddy is here!” She could hear the smile in his voice. He reached his other hand down and grabbed her belt and hoisted her back up onto the ledge with him. “The opening suddenly closed on me. Without you there, I felt very lost and confused. I couldn’t even move. And then—I heard you crying, and all I had to do was reach out.” 

Astrid reached out for him again, finding that he was laying on his back. She didn’t care about playing it cool or whatever. She just threw her arms around him, anyway she could, and cried into his chest. 

“Astrid?” 

“I thought I was going to die. I thought I was going to die, and my Hiccup wouldn’t even care about it.” 

“Oh,” said Boat Hiccup. “Then…I get it.” 

“Get what?” She sniffed. 

“Why we were separated, and then I could suddenly find you. You felt fear. True, honest to gods fear.” 

“Like I said, I’m killing Hiccup when I get back.” 

Suddenly, from the vast unknown of the cavern, there was a sound. A low rumble. 

“Where’s the lantern?” Astrid asked, since there was still pitch darkness. 

“Oh, I wasn’t holding it.” 

“Fine. Let me see…” and she reached down to her pockets and begged for another light source. 

Another ring slid into her palm, and she pulled out a lantern identical to the first. She could see Boat Hiccup’s beautiful face…but he wasn’t looking at her. He was looking in the cavern. 

She turned, and there, not five feet away from them, was the gristly white maw of a dragon. Teeth the size of trees, and spines that were tipped in red. 

The Screaming Death. The dragon that Hiccup couldn’t tame. 

Oh sure, they came to a peaceful resolution, but deciding to not eat them for the time being hadn’t given Astrid very fuzzy feelings. 

It was right there.

Watching them. 

Those blood red eyes almost glowing in the lamp light. 

“How long do you think it’s been there?” Astrid whispered, sheer terror gripping her throat. 

He pulled her closer with the arm wrapped around her waist. “My guess? The whole time.” 

“He isn’t moving.” 

And that was almost scarier. 

“It’s not the real Screaming Death,” Boat Hiccup reminded her. “It’s just a representation.” 

“Of what?” 

“Hiccup’s worst nightmares.” 

It happened so quickly, Astrid couldn’t even scream. One second, they were on the ledge, staring at the thing, and the next, it was darting at them, jaws open, snapping shut around them like a bolt of lightning. 

Astrid had nightmares about being eaten by a dragon. She had almost been swallowed by the Red Death, and plenty of dragons after had taken snaps at her. It was a risk of the job. 

But to actually be eaten was a different sensation than she expected. Probably because this was a dreamscape and therefore not real, no matter how real it felt. 

Hiccup was still beside her, arms around her. So they hadn’t been separated again, thankfully. But the black unknown surrounded them on all sides. There seemed to be a cool stone floor below them, though.

“ Little Fish, Little Fish, where are you hiding? ” 

Now that was a voice she hadn’t heard in a long long time. It actually gave her a chill. “Is that…Mr. Ingulfson?”

“Yeah. Sounds like it,” Boat Hiccup said, with not a hint of fondness in his voice. 

Hosvir Ingulfson was a teacher. Not every Viking on Berk was literate, but Stoick had wanted the next generation to grow up with some knowledge. Hosvir was given the task to give Hiccup’s generation some rudimentary lessons in reading, writing, and arithmetic. Astrid remembered him as rather boring, but severe with his punishments. He’d be more lenient the more physically capable you showed, or if you had a talent in a trade…basically if you were able to prove yourself useful.

And suddenly Astrid understood why she was hearing this man’s voice here. 

“ H-I-C-C-U-P! What does that spell? That’s right! It spells mistake! ” 

A thin line of light appeared then, in the form of a crack in a door. The room beyond was the Great Hall, as it appeared mid-day while everyone was busy. There was a fire in the hearth, but not much other light. 

“ Let’s count! How many fingers does the little fish have? One…two… ” 

The man walked past the door, and he was uglier than she remembered, but she hadn’t had very many bad experiences with him. She didn’t really remember him all that much, anyway. He had black hair and extremely thick eyebrows. His nose was very narrow, but it stuck out from his face like a shark fin. 

Hiccup remembered him with red eyes. 

“ Three…four… ” 

Astrid was then aware that she was sitting on the floor, and Boat Hiccup was still clamped onto her. She didn’t dare let go. She didn’t want to be separated again. He was breathing harshly, and seemed to be lost in this vision. 

“ Five…six…seven… ” 

The memory itself didn’t seem all that scary. Mr. Ingulfson had been a strange man, before he was killed in a raid. Perhaps he was tough on Hiccup? Or perhaps the punishment was the same as on the others, and Hiccup only took it worse because he had been so small? 

“ Eight…nine…ten! ” Mr. Ingulfson’s figure stood just outside the door now, still looking around for Hiccup’s hiding place. “ Very good! How about this? How many fingers will the Little Fish have when I’m done with him?” The man’s head slowly turned, a fiendish smile cracking his face. “ Let’s count, shall we? ” 

Boat Hiccup gasped. 

“ One. ” 

The man lunged at them, flinging the door open and changing the scene in the process. It wasn’t pitch black anymore. It was night, but she was in the middle of the village, where everything was lit with fire. 

Belatedly, she realized the fire wasn’t just in braziers, but homes were on fire. Men and women alike were screaming in anger and in fear. 

It was a raid. 

And she was in the middle of it all. 

Astrid looked around, noticing with a start that Boat Hiccup was no longer with her. She was alone in this place. A memory? Or a hypothetical nightmare scenario? 

A chill went down her spine as the draft hit her skin. She wasn’t wearing her blue dress anymore. In fact, she was in Hiccup’s body, and he was only in his underwear. 

Caught in a dragon raid, in only his underwear. It would have been funny from an inexperienced mind. But Astrid knew it was a common nightmare of her people. Being caught in your underwear didn’t just mean embarrassment. It meant you were unprotected, and so so vulnerable. That was compounded for Hiccup. 

“Get back inside!” Her own mother yelled at him as she ran to him, hammer in hand. She scooped him up from the dirt and deposited him beside one of the intact buildings. “What are you doing out here?!” 

“I was bathing! I can’t find my dad!” He cried. 

“Well go home! Don’t make him worry about you!” And she ran off. 

As with all these other memories where she was looking through his eyes, Astrid had no control as he scrambled to hide. 

“Daddy! Daddy!” He yelled. Gods, he was so young! Just a little boy trapped in a hellscape! 

“Little Fish!” Mr. Ingulfson yelled at him, running with a club in hand. 

Unlike with her mother, Hiccup did not respond with relief. The very image took a red hue as the man ran at him. 

Hiccup fell on his rear, hands up in defense. 

Ingulfson had the nerve to raise his club up to strike Hiccup. Hiccup! Not any of the dragons that were causing damage, but a scared little boy! 

“This will teach you, boy. This will get you out of the way!” 

If Astrid believed that this couldn’t get any worse, she was wrong. After all, this was a dragon raid, and the dragons were looking for food. 

A Monstrous Nightmare, extinguished, but not any less deadly, crept over and down the side of the building they were beside. 

This was the largest Monstrous Nightmare she’d ever seen. But, perhaps because Hiccup was so small, it was just normal sized. 

Ingulfson let out a grunt as he heaved the club to try to hit Hiccup. But Hiccup didn’t flinch or look away. He was too frozen in terror by the Nightmare. 

The dragon struck, snapping its jaws around the man, not quite swallowing him whole, but clamping around his torso, leaving his screaming head exposed. The Nightmare shook violently, snapping Ingulfson’s spine like a toothpick. Blood spurted out from the body, falling onto the traumatized Hiccup, before the head snapped off and landed on Hiccup’s lap.

Then the Nightmare flew off with the rest of the body, presumably to feed it to the Red Death.

Little Hiccup screamed, screamed his absolute lungs out as his gaze landed back on the gory remains of his tormentor. 

“DADDY! DADDY!” Hiccup cried, no emotion but terror in his voice. 

Other villagers started gathering around to see what the ruckus was, but no one was helping him. No one dared to touch him. 

“Hiccup!” Stoick’s panicked voice called over the crowd. 

“DADDY!” Hiccup cried back. 

“Oh gods…” The chief slowed his run, then very respectfully removed Ingulfson’s head from Hiccup’s lap. “Are you hurt?”

Hiccup didn’t answer. He just kept screaming and crying. He clutched at his father’s shirt. 

“What a hero,” said someone, “To die protecting the son of the chief.” 

“Hosvir will be remembered for his bravery.” 

The memory soon faded then, and Astrid was left with a nauseous feeling. That memory went beyond things that were scary for Hiccup and went right into trauma. Hell, she might be traumatized herself. A part of her wondered, given all that she knew about dragons now, if that Nightmare saw what was happening and saved Hiccup. 

It was hard to tell if the memory was slightly skewed from time. 

Slowly, a new image appeared. Not a memory, and probably not an illusion. Hiccup, as she saw in modern day. Boat Hiccup was beside her, so this was a new version. He wore all black, and his face was blank and gray. 

“Fear?” She asked, hope filling her chest. 

The emotion blinked at her several times as color came back to his skin. He didn’t look relieved to see her. Quite the opposite, he started to back away. 

“No no, it’s okay!” Astrid clarified. “We’re here to help you!” 

“Oh yeah, sure,” said Fear, heavily dripping with sarcasm. “It’s not like all those fears and memories were put there for a reason. Oh no no, of course not! Just a coincidence is all!” As he spoke, he continued to back away, blending into the shadows. 

Astrid pursued quickly. “I get that they were here for defense, but I needed to find you! I have to wake up all of Hiccup’s emotions, and you’re too important!” 

“If you mean I’m the only thing stopping Hiccup from getting killed, then yeah, I’m just a tiny bit important.” 

“Exactly! He’s so creative and passionate he has to have a little hesitation or he’ll do something stupid! Please Fear, just calm down and talk to me!” 

“No way! Talking feelings with you? That’s the scariest of them all!” 

“What?” Astrid breathed. “Hiccup’s…scared of me?” 

Fear flung out his hand and then disappeared into the dark. 

“ You know, I should have seen this coming. ” Her own voice echoed behind her. Astrid whirled around to come face to face with a copy of her. Probably the way Hiccup saw her. Her hair was perfect, her skin flawless, eyes enchanting, and a figure she wished she had. “ With the way you look at me, and the way the other villagers gossip…but I never thought anyone was serious. I mean, come on. You and me? We’re great friends and all… ”

Astrid felt a great blush of embarrassment and indignation rush across her face at the words. 

“ But you’re not my type. You have to know that, right? You’re so thin…and the leg…it’s pretty gross.”

“Shut up you bitch!” Astrid spat. 

“ And you and I both know that this whole dragon training popularity is so temporary. You’re the best now because you’re the first. But it won’t be long before there’s better than you. I’m pretty close, myself. You know, if Toothless hadn’t been a Nightfury, you’d be irrelevant already. I know it hurts, but someone had to tell you, right? And now that I know how you really feel, I’m not really interested in continuing our friendship.” 

“I said, SHUT UP!” Astrid furiously threw a fist towards the illusion, turning it into mist. 

Boat Hiccup stood nearby, panting as he caught up with her. 

“We should leave,” Astrid said bitterly. “He doesn’t want us here, and I woke him up. We’re done here.”

Boat Hiccup shook his head. “No…I think we need to stay.”

“What!? What more could we possibly have to see here?”

“I don’t know, but it’s something important.” 

Astrid pouted, but ultimately sighed. “Fine, if you say so.” So she started to run in the direction she saw Fear disappear in. 

Without warning, Toothless dropped in front of her, pinning her to the ground under his great paw. She’d been on the receiving end of this look once before, but never with this much vitriol. Toothless narrowed his eyes and bared his teeth. Then he reared up, inhaling with a whistle. He let out this bone rattling roar, right into her face. She swore she felt the heat of fire that was being held back. Then he darted away from her, leaving her flattened on the ground. 

Boat Hiccup pulled her up. “It’s just another memory. We have to push through if we want to get to Fear.” 

She nodded slowly, blinking the shock away. “If only I had…” the thought came to her suddenly, and she reached into her pocket. Out she pulled her beloved axe, and now she was ready.

Together they charged into the never ending dark, cutting through every illusion that popped up. There were memories from long ago, and fresh. Viggo and Ryker appeared, but Astrid cut them down before they spoke. Encounters with hostile dragons that turned friendly in the end were pushed through. And while the gory image of deceased Astrid made her stumble, she still continued on. 

Soon, they had caught up to Fear, who was rather hard to read. He didn’t look afraid. 

“Oh yeah, just run through everything. That’s fine too, you know! It’s not like Hiccup’s sensitive about these things or anything…” 

Then Astrid noticed what she hadn’t before. His mouth wasn’t moving. 

“Are you wearing a mask?” She asked. 

He scoffed. “Yeah, I’m wearing a mask. You know, because I have so many people visiting me at one time?” 

Astrid had enough of the bullshit and grabbed the front of his tunic. Then she grabbed his face and dug her fingers into what felt like wet clay. 

It took little effort to pry the mask away, and what remained was a very young Hiccup. Younger than Sadness. He was shaking and crying. 

“Please don’t hurt me…” he begged. 

Astrid set the costume off to the side. “I’m not going to hurt you, Fear. I’m sorry.” 

He started weeping. “You scared me! You kept chasing me!” 

Astrid felt awful as she pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to talk to you, to understand you.” 

“You’re here because of that witch, aren’t you?” He squeaked. 

Astrid nodded. “She tried to take you, but I came to fix everything.” 

“He was alone,” Fear stated, clawing at her dress. “Toothless didn’t know where we were, and we were all alone and so defenseless. Toothless makes everything easy for me. We’re so strong with him…but without him…”

Astrid just hugged him tighter. “I get it. I promise, I’ll do whatever I can to make sure Hiccup never feels defenseless again.” 

Boat Hiccup just watched this exchange from afar. He knew there was more to Fear than what they had seen, but now that he was close, he got a distinct feeling that interacting with him would be dangerous. Just an echo of a memory. 

–

Hiccup returned from the bottom of the well, wet and with a set of deer antlers in hand. Once he cleared the opening, he puked over the side of the well. “Well, I can certainly still feel nauseous.” He said, still sick. 

“So what did you find?” Stoick asked eagerly.

“Deer carcass.” Hiccup handed him the antlers. “Half rotten. That’s what smelled funny.” 

“How did a deer end up in the well?” Asked Fishlegs.

“Probably fell in and couldn’t find its way out.” Hiccup said nonchalantly, as he wrung out his tunic. “Good thing you guys have another well, because this one is going to be bad for a long time.”