Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Imposters had struck again.
Dwayne shuddered. He’d been in so many movies he’d lost count but the special effects were never as realistic as this and he still hadn’t gotten used to seeing the motionless, blood-drenched bodies of his fellow crew mates. Another minion dead. He reached out to his communicator pressing the “Report” button. Instantly, voices flooded his earpiece.

“Minion, In the hallway between storage and electrical.” announced Dwayne. A series of gasps and cries came from the minions. Kevin, Bob and Stuart started to sing “Kumbaya” in mourning but were quickly shushed by the other members of the crew.

“Did anyone see someone near there?” asked a voice. Dwayne blushed. The voice belonged to the one and only Nick Wilde. Nick was a fox. He was bold and funny and he never failed to see straight to Dwayne’s heart even when he was seen as just a mound of muscle by everyone else. If he was asked, Dwayne would say that no, he absolutely didn’t have a crush on the sly fox, but in private, Dwayne found himself kept awake, his mind occupied by the vulpine’s coy grins and quick-witted remarks. Nick Wilde, the sly fox, and Dwayne Johnson, his dumb bunny.

“Kevin, Bob, Stuart and I passed through there early on to connect wires in electrical but we didn’t see anyone.” This time it was Hiccup that spoke. Hiccup’s scrawny figure often led people to underestimate him, but the teenage boy whose left leg was missing at the ankle, tended to take charge when no one could agree on anything. Other than that, he was rather quiet, though not as quiet as Dwayne was constantly.

A few more statements were passed before it was decided that everyone should just keep going with whatever they were doing and to try and stay alive. With that, Dwayne continued on his way to the reactor to make the most of the rest of the day.

“Watch it dude!” an aggravated voice pierced through Dwayne’s thoughts.

“Oh sorry.” Dwayne mumbled, shrinking in on himself and looking down at his Kanye West Yeezys.

“No I’m sorry, I uh, I shouldn't have been so aggressive.”

Dwayne peeked up slightly at the sound of the recognizable voice. It was Nick. Dwayne’s heart fluttered at the sight of the fox. Even though there was a two and a half foot difference, it still felt like Dwayne was being dominated by Nick. Something flashed through Nick’s eyes. If Dwayne had seen it he may have recognised it as affection.

“Where are you headed?” Nick asked.

“I’m not sure, the day’s almost over, I just don’t want to see anymore dead bodies.” Dwayne said, his voice shaking.

“Hey, don’t worry about that, how about we meet in the admin room at 7? We can get some drinks and have some fun.” NIck’s comforting voice made Dwayne feel as safe as he could be on a ship infested with murderers.

“Um, sure! That would be fun, I guess.”

Nick nodded and scurried away, trying to hide his giddy smile.

Chapter Text

The day was over. If you could even call it a day. Being stuck in deep space with no sun tends to make it hard to tell what time it is. Dwayne sighed and made his way to the admin room. Every night, the admin room was transformed into a makeshift bar where the crewmates would party and get wasted, although Dwayne didn’t tend to have more than two or three drinks.

He stepped inside and tried to find Nick. For a heartbreaking second he thought that Nick had given him the slip but then he saw the beautiful red fur that belonged to Dwayne’s favourite person.

He gingerly approached the handsome fox and sat down next to him on a bar stool.

“Hi! I’m so glad you could make it.” said Nick.

“Thanks for inviting me babe- uh I mean Nick.”

If Nick noticed the small slip up, he didn’t say anything.

“So, do you want to get some drinks?”

—

It was 2 am. Both Dwayne and Nick were completely wasted and were stumbling through the corridors. They stopped in the hallway between storage and shields and sat down opposite each other, drunken smiles plastered on their faces.

Dwayne was the first to break the silence.

“You know, this has been fun.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… I’ve never really had anyone to have fun with before now, so this is a first for me.”

“Really? I mean, I’ve had lots of fun. We should do this again sometime.”

“Y-yeah. I would love that.” Dwayne replied, shyly.

The silence they settled into was comfortable, but not for long. They heard a scuffling around the corner.

Nick paled, “I um, I-I have to go.”

Nick got up from where he was sitting across from Dwayne and stumbled drunkenly away, salty tears stinging his eyes.

“Shit, shit, shit. Why did I say that? What do I do? What if he hates me? What if he thinks I hate him?”

Soon enough, he stumbled into the source of the scuffling. It was Chewbacca, just as Nick thought.

“Chewie, what are you doing?!”

Chewie looked at Nick quizzically.

“I was just hanging out with a friend, you didn’t need to intervene.” Nick replied.

Chewie grunted in response as if he was telling Nick he wasn’t allowed to make friends.

“Chill Chewie, it’s fineeee.” Nick slurred semi-assuringly.

Chewie raised an eyebrow but let it go.

“Come on, let’s head to bed.”

Chapter Text

Dwayne woke up with a pounding headache. What had he done last night??

Oh. Right.

Nick and him had gotten drunk and then the fox had run away. Dwayne whimpered remembering how the fox had been so eager to leave. Maybe it was Dwayne’s fault. Maybe if it was someone else, Nick would have stayed. Or maybe Nick was just playing games. Of course. That must be it. Nobody as perfect as Nick could ever love someone so emotionally small and UwU as Dwayne. He sighed and tried not to let his tears slip as he got up and started heading towards the cafeteria.

“Ayyy! Dwayne-o, The Rock, my maaaaan! How you doin’?” came a cheerful voice.

“Oh, hey Bob, yeah I'm alright. You?”

“Geez man, what happened to you last night?” a touch of worry entered the overall clad bean’s voice.

“Yeah dude, what happened?” Stuart spoke up. Bob had accumulated a small clan of minions at this point.

Dwayne sighed, “Honestly? I don’t even know guys. I’ve got a killer headache though. I know what’ll help.”

Suddenly Dwayne was hanging from the door doing pull ups. Then doing shuttle runs the length of the cafeteria. Then on the floor doing one-handed push-ups. Even though emotionally Dwayne was a petite and UwU person, physically he was always the most muscular person in the room. The minions looked at him, confused.

“Get on my back guys.”

“Yo, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dwayne.” replied Steve, one of the minions.

“Just do it!” Dwayne insisted. Hesitantly a few of the minions hopped onto Dwayne’s back. He completed a few more reps before he stood up, shaking the minions off his back.

“Now that hit the spot.” A few concerned glances were thrown around. Sure, Dwayne did occasionally start doing exercise, but nothing as intense as what just occurred.

The hunk of muscle and the minions made their way to one of the tables, it ended up being swamped by the army of minions. Nick Wilde walked in and Stuart felt Dwayne tense beside him. Did something happen last night between them?

Hiccup squeezed into a small gap between the minions opposite Dwayne.

“Hey Dwayne. So I was just thinking about the day ahead and how we can catch the murderers. You know. Normal stuff. And I realised that we needed someone to watch the security cameras so I just thought, “Hey! Dwayne would be up to that job!” So, what do you think? Do you reckon you could do that?”

“Uhhh. I mean, sure! Anything to help I guess.” Replied Dwayne.

“Nice!” Hiccup got up and left, leaving Dwayne to head to the security room.

Chapter Text

Dwayne sighed. It had been 4 hours and nothing had happened. He was left staring at grainy live footage of the ship.

Suddenly, something caught his eye. Chewbacca. He was walking around suspiciously, checking that no one was looking at him. And then… he vented.

Dwayne panicked. He ran out of the security room to try and call an emergency meeting but Chewbacca was faster. He intercepted Dwayne in the Med Bay corridor, pulled out his knife, and swung to try and stab Dwayne. But before the wookie could get in a solid stab, Dwayne dodged and the slice went to his shoulder instead. Chewbacca could have finished it then and there, but before he could, he heard the almost silent footsteps of someone coming around the corner. So before Chewie could get caught, he dashed away.

—

Nick was having a stressful day as it was. His mind was occupied by what had happened the previous night. He knew that it was futile to think that Dwayne would ever like someone like him. So to distract himself, he decided to fake do some tasks.

Nick decided that he might as well go do a med scan, he hadn’t really explored that part of the ship yet. Nick rounded the corner and saw a body. He rolled his eyes. Chewbacca was always a restless killer. Except, this body was still breathing and groaning in pain. He decided to investigate and as he neared the figure he spotted a pair of Kanye West Yeezys. Only one person on this whole ship owned a pair of those shoes. It couldn’t be.

“Dwayne?” Nick’s voice was small, if he tried to say anything else it would crack. Nick kneeled down so that he could see the face of the hulking frame. Tears fell down his face.

“N-no! It can’t be, I -I’m so sorry. Dwayne! You- you can’t be dead, not yet, I love you! Dwayne, my little pebble I love you… so much.” Nick’s wretched sobs filled the corridor as he stopped trying to keep them at bay.

“Nick?” came a small voice.

“Dwayne?”

“Nick. I-I’m sorry I never built up the strength to tell you, but… I love you too.”

“Dwayne. I-I need to tell you something. Remember last night? When we got drunk?”

“Yeah?”

“And how I left so quickly?”

“Y-yeah? Nick, don’t worry about it seriously.”

“No Dwayne. I had to leave because I heard Chewbacca coming and I-i couldn’t let him know that I was becoming attached.” Nick explained.

“W- what? Nick I don’t understand. Attached?”

“I’m the other imposter, Dwayne. I’m sorry. I tried to make it work, but we’re on two different sides and-” Nick’s voice broke.

“We’re Romeo and Juliet. Star crossed lovers, but never meant to be.” Dwayne finished, with every word his voice became fainter and eventually his eyes dulled and slipped closed.

“NO! NO YOU CAN’T DIE! DWAYNE PLEASE! P- please.” Nick bawled. His paws tried to wipe his tears away but to no avail as everytime he wiped them away, more surfaced to replace them.

Suddenly Chewbacca appeared at the end of the corridor.

“YOU!!” Nick shouted, jabbing his finger in Chewie’s direction. “HOW COULD YOU? YOU KNEW I LOVED HIM. YOU KNEW IT. You- you knew it.”

Chewie grunted to say You knew that you weren’t supposed to get attached. I was just teaching you a lesson.

“A LESSON? HOW ABOUT I TEACH YOU A LESSON ON WHAT SOMEONE WITH A BROKEN HEART CAN DO.” And Nick charged at the Wookie, unsheathing his knife, but Chewie was faster. He whipped out his blade and sliced at Nick, missing his chest and nicking his arm instead. The fox darted to the edge of Chewbacca and elbowed him in the side. The furball doubled over in pain but just as Nick attempted to kick him over, he rose up and knocked Nick to the ground. He was defeated.

Nick looked up at Chewbacca fiercely. “Do it. End it. End my life. It isn’t worth living anymore so I don’t even care.”

Chewie’s blade was so close to Nick’s neck that if the vulpine were to breathe too hard he would break skin. But Nick didn’ care. If he couldn’t have his little pebble, he couldn’t be happy. He simply couldn’t live. So without a second thought, he grasped his murder weapon he would normally use on the other crewmates and plunged it into his gut.