Archive of Our Own ^beta

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“What’s wrong?” Miles asks, glancing at you over his glasses. His eyebrow is raised, his eyes scanning your face and body for any sign of distress. He looks so worried, bless him.

The concern in his voice makes you chuckle. “Nothing, really. I’m just… slightly underdressed for the occasion.” You lightly rub your arms to demonstrate your point.

It was a pleasantly warm early autumn day when you decided to take a stroll to your favourite restaurant. By the time you finished your meal and headed home, the fickle autumn air had cooled down significantly and presently you were cursing both your choice in clothing and the refusal to let Miles drive you.

He smirks. “You know, darling, I do try my best, but it would be so much easier for the both of us if you just told me these things straight away.” In one swift, graceful motion, he slips off his coat and wraps it tightly around your shoulders.

“Now, is that better?”

“Much better,” you say as his familiar scent reaches your nostrils.

You’re not so sure it’s the cold evening air that’s making you blush anymore

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He stands in the corner of the room, a drink in hand, glancing every now and then at the object of his affection. The task he was given is simple. Attend the party pretending to be a man of considerable wealth and take note of any suspicious activity that may occur. Currently, however, he’s frozen in place, focused only on the attractive figure across the room.

He knows he will get chewed out for ignoring his duty. Maybe worse. No matter. He’s used to it by now. Hopefully, it will be worth it, he thinks.

He must have been staring a bit too intently. They’re giggling at a joke he’s too far away to hear when their eyes meet his. Instantly, his usual pallor gives way to a faint blush that spreads from his cheeks to the tip of his ears. For a brief moment, he can swear he sees a slight smile tug on their lips. It’s already worth it.

Not even a moment later, a cough bubbles in his chest. Not now, he pleads, preparing a handkerchief. There’s blood on his chin when he sees his reflection in the window. He wipes it away.

I hope they didn’t see that.

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Hours go by and Hosonaga is still standing in his corner, his watchful gaze keeping track of any suspicious movement in the room. Pickpockets, knife-wielding maniacs, those lovely ankles, he’s determined to not let anything get past him.

He sips away at the drink he’s been cradling in his hand for hours. No alcohol, of course. After all, he’s there on duty, not to participate in the dangerous dance of seduction.

“Good evening,” a mellifluous voice comes seemingly out of nowhere. He turns to face the stranger. Oh no. It’s her. She’s come to chastise me for staring.

He swallows the lump in his throat, feeling a cough forming in his chest. “Good evening, my lady. How may I be of assistance?” You giggle at his formality. “Forgive my boldness, my dear sir, but you seem so awfully lonely, standing on your own the entire evening. I come to offer my company. Do you accept?”

“O-of course!” he replies a bit too eagerly. “I’m Hosonaga, Satoru Hosonaga.” I’m meant to be using an alias. “I’m here on a secret mission.” Curses. Time to start looking for a new job.

“My, you’re a jokester, aren’t you?” You laugh heartily. Oh, thank God. “Y-yes, my lady.” You notice the blush spreading on his pallid face. “I feel like dancing, Satoru Hosonaga. I’d quite like a gentleman to ask me.” His face is practically glowing red at this point.

“Well, w-would you l-like to join me for a dance, my lady?” I’m going to faint if she says yes. Please, say yes. “Yes, I’d quite like that.” You offer him your hand and introduce yourself. You didn’t even ask her name, you fool. And you can’t dance!

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Today by some blessed chance is one of those days when the sky is almost blue, the air almost clean and warm enough to be enjoyed without a coat. London autumns are rarely ever so kind to the inhabitants of the great city and you’re absolutely determined not to waste the opportunity. You decide to take a stroll through your local park, a book in hand and some snacks carefully packed in your basket. Rarely do you get the chance to soak in some sun in the foggy capital of the British Empire, therefore every such occasion must be used to the fullest.

Unsurprisingly, the park is brimming with life. Young couples excitedly strolling through the grass hand in hand, children running around and laughing, even some elderly gentlemen who seem to have forgotten their beloved curmudgeonism for a day to enjoy the warmth. You settle down on a bench under the shade of a tree and open your book, hand digging through the basket for a snack to enjoy. Aha, a freshly baked cupcake with some pink strawberry frosting! You decide to take your time and enjoy your afternoon, nibbling on your delicious cupcake between paragraphs.

“Good afternoon!” A cheerful, high pitched voice pulls you out of your food-induced haze. It’s a little girl standing before you, a wide smile on her face that reaches her bright blue eyes. “My name is Iris, Iris Wilson! I am ever so sorry to bother you, but the smell of those delicious looking cupcakes made me come over. I’m quite an avid baker myself, you see. Would you be so kind as to share your recipe with me?” How could you say no to that sweet little face?

The girl joins you on the bench and you give her the recipe and some of your cupcakes too, which she accepts eagerly. “Oh, thank you so much! They’re ever so delicious! I’m sure Hurley would love them if he were here!” Hurley? Just then, an exasperated male voice reaches your ears. “There you are, Iris! Where in the devil did you wander off to?! We were meant to be playing hide and seek! I’ve been waiting in my ingenious hiding spot for a century now! There are thorns in my thigh, Iris!”

You are speechless. Is that her father? The resemblance is… certainly not there. “Hurley,” Iris sighs, her head bowed. “We were meant to be playing catch… You just disappeared on me, so I assumed you got distracted by a case or such. I’m ever so sorry.” Her eyes perk up then, “I’ve made a friend while waiting for you! How kind of them, to share some food and a recipe with me!”

“Oh.” The man stills, as if only now noticing your presence. “How do you do, my dear? Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Herlock Sholmes. You’ve heard of me, no doubt?” Silence. “Well, how peculiar! I thought all the residents of our fair city knew my name!” He joins you on the bench through some bizarre twisting motion. “Nevertheless, I must admit, the sight of those cupcakes is making my mouth water. May I?”

You blink, utterly dumbfounded. “B-be my guest,” you blurt out, offering him the sweet treat. He’s an… interesting man, truth be told. His clothes are strange, odd trinkets hanging around his waist and… goggles? resting on his deerstalker hat. He certainly has a way with words you decide, listening to him blab on about his great accomplishments, Iris occasionally jumping in to correct or supplement his memory. “By God, what a pleasantly lovely day it is today, wouldn’t you agree?” With that, he strips off his coat and hat, letting them rest over the back of the bench. He’s quite handsome, you must admit. There is a certain boyishness to his look, face youthful but obviously not still a lad. His blonde curls are messy and falling into his blue eyes and he brushes them back with his gloved hand every once in a while. You just nod, hoping that you’re not blushing and that he hadn’t noticed you staring.

“I must say, my dear, as a connoisseur of all things sweet, you certainly know how to hit the spot!” You blink, definitely blushing at this point.

“E-excuse me?” He laughs, holding up his half-chewed dessert. “Why, these cupcakes of yours. Absolutely divine!”

“O-oh. Thank you, sir.” You can’t help but sound a bit disappointed. At the same time, you wonder what exactly is wrong with you.

“Quite welcome! Although I must admit, my dear Iris and I seem to have relieved you of quite a fair share of your food, yes. You must allow me to make up for it! Shall I treat you to some lunch? Perhaps dinner? I insist!”

You look at him, quite surprised by his boldness. Could he be… No, certainly not. “That sounds… lovely, Mr Sholmes. But really, I’m quite happy to share. You needn’t concern yourself with paying me back or the like.”

He laughs. “Nonsense, my dear! We won’t take no for an answer. And please, call me Herlock, won’t you?”

You smile then. “Well, in that case, I suppose I must accept. Thank you, Mr- Herlock.” Mr Herlock. How foolish I must look, you think, the blush back in full force.

“Excellent, then! It’s settled!” He looks around frantically for a piece of paper and something to write with. “Do stop by our address tonight at 8. I do quite look forward to seeing you.” He adds, a bright smile gracing his youthful face.

I  do? He does? Goodness gracious.

They bid you farewell soon after and walk off, the girl excitedly babbling about her new friend and the feast they must prepare. You stare at the back of the blond man, confused by the events that just transpired. As if feeling your gaze on him, he turns his head and shoots you a quick smile. You feel your cheeks burning.

Good lord, what a disaster I am.

Chapter Text

“Thank you for the lovely evening, Mr S-Herlock.” Curses. Not again.

Herlock’s lip twitches, a teasing smile spreading across his boyish features. “The pleasure was all mine, my dear madam! I must admit, I am becoming quite fond of the Mr Herlock moniker, although I must insist you drop the "S”.“

The dinner was quite pleasant, in spite of your initial misgivings. You arrived at 221B Baker Street just a bit before 8 PM, more nervous than you’d like to admit. Herlock and Iris welcomed you quite warmly, sharing stories about their incredible adventures, recounting the tales behind the endless clutter in their living room. The food was extraordinary - a roast, gammon, baked potatoes, homemade bread and steamed vegetables, followed by a freshly baked cake and some tea. Perhaps you overindulged a bit, but it was hard not to when everything looked so good.

Speaking of looking good, Mr Sholmes did clean up quite nicely for the occasion, you had to admit. He’d obviously shaved as there was no sign of five o'clock shadow on his handsome face. His hair was neatly curled in a way that framed his face and he’d changed out of the clothes he wore at the park, as apparent by the lack of thorns in his thigh. Not that you were looking at his thigh, mind you.

When it was time to head back home, you said your goodbyes and kissed Iris on the cheek, promising you’d come back with your book of recipes soon. She beamed at every compliment you paid her during the evening and listened intently to each and every cooking tip and recipe you shared. "Wait just a moment, my dear madam,” you heard Herlock’s voice ring out on your way out. “Let me just get my coat.”

“Your coat? What for?” Confused by his declaration, you turn around to find him getting dressed in his brownish-orange coat from earlier. “Why, evenings are quite chilly here in London, as you should know. I wouldn’t like to freeze on my way now.” On his way? “Are you going somewhere this late, Mr Sholmes?” He laughs. “Ah, I thought we’d agreed on Herlock. And naturally, I am going to walk you home. What kind of a host would I be if I let you walk alone at this ungodly hour?"He walks out before you can answer and you follow suit, perhaps slightly flustered.

You enjoy your conversation on your late evening stroll. Herlock, to his credit, is quite charming and funny when he’s not too busy boasting about his own accomplishments. He asks you about yourself and listens intently, drinking in every word you say. Occasionally he cracks a joke that would perhaps be too inappropriate for young Iris’ ears and you giggle, gently smacking his arm. You notice he’s stealing glances towards your direction, gazing a bit too intensely at moments. His gaze warms you up on this chilly autumn eve and you hate yourself for it. He’d shown no such interest in you, but surely you could not be misreading so many signs at once, could you?

Reaching the entrance of your building, you stop in your tracks. "This is it, Herlock. This is where I live.” He looks over the mass of bricks behind you before stepping closer. “Ah, then I suppose this is goodbye.” The look you noticed earlier is back and he makes no move to leave. Instead, he stands there in front of you and only then do you realise just how tall he is, how long his legs alone are. You swallow, a hint of boldness appearing seemingly out of nowhere. Must be the wine you had with your dinner.

“Why do you have to look at me like that? It’s making me weak, please stop.” The words tumble past your lips before you can stop yourself, instantly regretting how accusatory your tone is. “Like what, my dear madam?” His voice is dripping with amusement and he cocks his head to the side, blonde curls falling out of place. “I-I don’t know! Like that- the way you’re looking at me now! I don’t like it- well I don’t NOT like it- but I certainly don’t understand it.”

He chuckles briefly and you feel so embarrassed you could pass out. “My dear madam, I do deeply apologise if I’d offended you or made you uncomfortable in any way. Have you perhaps considered that I am, in fact, smitten with you?”

He’s- Oh. Oh.

You regret standing under the street light because you’re sure he can see the redness on your cheeks now. Completely at a loss for words, you peer up at him, hoping he wasn’t entirely turned off by your words. “I see,” he continues. “Well, in that case, would you permit me to treat you to some tea tomorrow afternoon perhaps? To apologise for any weakness I may have caused, of course?”

You stare at him like a guppy. “W-well, it’s the least you could do, I suppose.” Somehow you manage to crack a smile. “Splendid,” he exclaims. “Shall I come pick you up at, say, four o'clock?” You nod.

“Wonderful! Until then, my dear madam.” He leans in and pecks your cheek so quickly and briefly you wonder if you’d imagined it. “Sleep tight.” With that, he walks off and you wave at him when he turns back to shoot you a quick smile.

Goodness gracious, what a disaster I am. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to mind.

Chapter Text

“Listen up, pal!” The detective in charge of your training huffs, chest expanding as he beams at you with pride. “You’re my star student, pal, but now it’s time to see you put those skills to use at a real crime scene! Go through everything with a fine-toothed comb and leave no stone unturned, or else the boss will be real sore with me! You got that, pal?”

You salute eagerly, more than ready to prove yourself to the boss, as Detective Gumshoe puts it. It’s a homicide case but the body had already been taken by the coroner, leaving nothing but a pool of blood and a white outline where the poor man once lay. The case is straightforward enough, the culprit already apprehended - the room was locked from the inside, the suspect’s fingerprints found on the murder weapon. “It’ll be a quick trial, the boss says,” Gumshoe told you on your way to the scene. Yet somehow, something doesn’t quite seem right.

“You again, pal?!” You suddenly hear Gumshoe exclaim in exasperation, “Are you the only lawyer in LA?!” The spiky-haired man sighs, beads of cold sweat gathering at his brow. “I could ask you the same thing, detective. I’d like to search the crime scene.” Gumshoe laughs, “Go ahead, pal, but there’s no point. Your client isn’t worming his way out of this one. Talk to my trainee if you’ve got any questions.” The stranger approaches you and introduces himself, firmly shaking your hand. You give him a rundown of the case at his request, watching the cold sweat intensify with each incriminating circumstance that passes your lips.

You make small talk while Phoenix does his investigation, checking every nook and cranny. His desperate comments are quite funny if a little self-deprecating. He notices an area where the carpet seems to be lifting off from the floor and peels it off with your permission. You both gasp - a pool of blood and a shattered glass panel. Phoenix gives you a pleading look. “My client is innocent, I’m sure of it. Please, can I get the result of the analysis once the forensics team is done?” You sigh, making sure Gumshoe is not within earshot. “Fair is fair, you’ve found it. Give me your number, I’ll let you know what we’ve found.” Phoenix beams at you, passing you his business card and shaking your hand gratefully.

“Hey, pal!” Gumshoe appears out of nowhere. “Shame on you! You should know better than trying to sweet talk young detectives into helping you!” Phoenix sighs, the sweat back yet again. “Objection! It’s not like that!”

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Satoru Hosonaga never imagined he could be so happy. He vividly remembers joining the force, the honour of being made an inspector, hell, even the joy he felt when Mr Turtle turned out just right - yet nothing compared to the feeling of pure delight he felt the moment he laid his eyes upon his future spouse standing before him dressed in their finest clothing, tears welling in their eyes and a radiant smile on their face. He was grinning like a fool himself, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill from his own eyes.

It was a small, humble ceremony. Only the closest of friends and family were invited. Hosonaga was almost offended at how surprised everyone seemed upon receiving the invitations. He knew he was starting to get an eternal bachelor reputation, young as he may be. His mother bawled her eyes out, thanking the gods and his betrothed.

His wedding was hardly more than a blurry memory. Prayers were said and vows exchanged, though Hosonaga couldn’t be able to recall the event in detail to save his life. His eyes were hyper fixated on his love standing in front of him, mind too busy thinking about how much he loved them, how he couldn’t wait to start their lives together as a unit and, with some luck, start a family of their own.

They both cried once the guests left, finally embracing each other in the privacy of their own home. There were certain expectations for the first night, they both knew that much. That could wait. For now, nothing could be more pleasurable than hearing his sweet love call him “husband”.

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The sight of bloody sheets still lingered in his mind, pained screams ringing through his ears every time he closed his eyes. It’s been nearly a month since he lost his beloved wife, dying to give the gift of life to their daughter. He hadn’t slept since and he feared he may never sleep again, not with the nightmares that plagued his unconscious mind and the infant crying for attention every few hours.

It was meant to be the most joyous moment of their lives, the birth of their child. They’d spoken about it so excitedly almost daily for the nine long months, picking out names and preparing everything for their child’s arrival. It never even crossed his mind that everything could go so, so wrong. He did as much as a single man could do to nurture a newborn, his family spending every waking moment at his house, their house to help with anything he may need. Hosonaga appreciated the help, but it was never meant to be like that.

Merely looking at the child made his heart break anew again and again. He clearly remembered the midwife calling him into the room, a pained expression on her face. Something went wrong, he could tell as he rushed through the hallway. It was a harrowing sight - blood everywhere, the woman he loved so dearly motionless with dried tears on her cheeks, eyes exhausted. Instinctively, he reached to caress her face, choking back a sob when she turned to face him. “Please, take care of our daughter. I love you.” Her voice was just a weak whisper and she was gone before he could say anything, leaving him alone in the world once more.

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It’s in his nature to mope, the poor man. They watch his wide back and powerful shoulders assume their natural slouched position, cold sweat gathering at his forehead. “Will?” They call out, sitting next to him. “Is something the matter?” He just sighs, handing them his phone. It’s an email from his casting agent, another one of those informing him he didn’t get the role because he doesn’t “look the part”.

With a sigh, they reach out to gently stroke his arm. “I mean, I wasn’t exactly getting my hopes up, but I thought I stood a chance this time. Guess not even werewolves in horror movies are meant to look like this.” He’s about to enter another one of his pity parties, they can tell. “Will, I don’t want to hear it. They should consider themselves lucky a man like you even considered working for such a shoddy production.” Will leans back on the sofa, eyes looking up at the ceiling. “Oh, save it. You and I both know I’m a beast.”

“Don’t you dare start with that!” They huff angrily, rising to stand in front of him. “You, Will Powers, are the sweetest and kindest man in the world! You’re not a beast - far from it. You’re tall and strong and handsome. I know you don’t want to believe me, but I notice the way people look at you when we’re together. It’s not contempt, Will. It’s respect, desire even. I won’t let you disrespect yourself like this.”

“You really mean that?” He turns to look at them, tears welling in his eyes and they instantly regret the intensity of their tone. “I do. You’re incredible and I love you,” they whisper, sliding into his large lap. He gives them a weak smile. “Thank you. I love you too. I suppose I don’t suck all that much.”

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Hosonaga wonders if the woman can feel him staring sometimes. Every day he comes to the same restaurant during his lunch break and orders the same food, just to see her face and exchange but a few quick glances and cordial words. The food is nothing special - in fact, it seems to make him cough up blood even more than usual in addition to putting a strain on his pocket. It’s all worth it in the end, when she greets him with a smile.

It’s a particularly slow day that Thursday - the restaurant is near empty, only a handful of regulars loitering about, including Hosonaga. Eventually, Hosonaga realises he’s the only one left, sitting in the worn-out booth as the other customers exit one by one. She walks up to him to refill his drink, giving him a warm smile that makes him grin like a fool in return.

“The boss really appreciates your patronage, you know. Having a respected detective as a regular certainly helps with our reputation,” she says, pouring the liquid into his glass with one hand. Hosonaga near laughs. At least someone respects me. “Forgive me for prying, but what brings you here so often? You never finish your food,” she nods to the half-full plate on his table. Hosonaga blinks slowly. What is he meant to say to that? I’m here because of you? Surely, she would think him a maniac of some sort. “Oh, you know, the-the atmosphere.” He looks around the empty restaurant, cold sweat gathering at his brow. Nice one, you fool.

She raises one playful eyebrow. “Since you’re the only one here, would you mind if I join you for a moment? At least until another customer walks in. I have tended to all the chores and I’m awfully bored now.” He peers at her with disbelief. Would he mind? She must be joking. “P-please, feel free to.” With a smile, she sits opposite him and starts chatting about anything and everything. Hosonaga isn’t listening, his mind wandering away, focusing on the shape of her mouth and the delicate hand her chin is resting on.

She giggles eventually. “Detective Hosonaga, was it? I have a confession to make - I believe I know why you come here day after day.” He swallows a lump in his throat. “You do?” She nods. “Forgive my boldness, but you aren’t exactly subtle with the way you look at me.” Hosonaga is bright red and about to open his mouth to apologise when she stops him. “Now, I did not come here to scold you. Quite the opposite, actually. Would you like to join me for dinner this evening?” She leans in closer then, voice hardly more than a whisper. “Hopefully at a place that serves better food than we do.” Hosonaga is taken aback, the blush deepening. “I-You-Yes, I’d quite like that.” She smiles warmly again, resuming the casual chatter while Hosonaga tries to wrap his mind around what just transpired.

Chapter Text

Hosonaga stands at the door, unsure if he should come inside. He looks at you and the child in your arms, feeding peacefully. It almost feels like he’s intruding on something personal.

“Oh, darling, why don’t you come in?” You ask, a tired smile spreading on your lips once you finally notice him standing there. “She doesn’t bite, I promise.” He steps inside the room gingerly and makes his way toward the bed, sitting next to you. His eyes trail over your body with adoration, settling to look at the child in your arms.

“How are you?” Hosonaga asks, concern evident in his voice. You sigh, unsure how to answer. “Tired. Really sore. But she’s here now. And look at her. She’s so precious. That’s all that matters.” He inches closer, “She is precious, isn’t she?” You chuckle looking at him. You’ve never seen him look so skittish in his life.

“What is it, dear? Would you like to hold her?” He nods eagerly, though he is obviously scared. You hand the newborn to him once she’s done feeding, showing him how to support her head. There are tears in his eyes when he looks at you. “She’s perfect. I- Thank you so much. I love you. And I love you,” he chokes back a sob, turning to look at the sleepy infant in his arms, determined to be the best father he could possibly be.

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“Mr Wright, could we have a word in private?” Apollo approaches Phoenix during the celebration, tightly gripping your hand. Phoenix looks pained to part from his expensive plate of food, though he nods and follows you into the hallway. “What is it? Did something happen?” Phoenix asks, eyebrows knitting in concern.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Apollo says, a nervous smile spreading across his lips, “It’s just that, well, we have an announcement.” He looks to you, gently squeezing your hand as Phoenix nods at you to continue. “I’m staying here. We’re staying here, I mean,” Apollo quickly corrects himself, suddenly a bit tongue tied even though he’d rehearsed this very speech at least a dozen times. “The justice system here is in shambles and Nahyuta thinks they could use my help. I-I mean we, we thought about it and we’ve decided to stay. I don’t know if it’s permanent, but we, well, we intend to get married and start a family here. Together.”

Phoenix looks stunned, speechless for a moment, before a bright smile appears on his face. “That’s great, Apollo. I’m happy for you, truly,” he leans in to hug Apollo like a proud father. “We will all miss you both, especially Trucy, but I wish you the very best.” Phoenix pulls you in a hug as well, making tears well in your eyes. “Well, we can come visit, right? And you can visit us, anytime! We can set up a time for video calls, and-” Apollo goes on a rant about scheduling, but Phoenix cuts him off. “Don’t worry about that now, Apollo. Let’s go back to the celebration. I’m starving. We’ll speak more tomorrow.” Apollo nods, clearly happy to be cut off as you make your way together back to the dining table.

Chapter Text

“Look,” Ryunosuke starts, sweat gathering at his brow and shoulders slumping forward as he devours the pastry with urgency, finding comfort in the sweetness, “I can’t tell you what happened- I promised I wouldn’t. And it’s nothing bad, I mean, not really. It’s just that- well, some things I could spend the rest of my life not knowing. Does that make sense?”

They nod slowly, confused by his nervous demeanour. He takes that as a cue to continue, “Good, great! Thank you! I’m glad you understand or at least pretend that you do. I mean, I’m not sure why exactly the notion of Sholmes… you know, makes me so uncomfortable.” He shoves more than a mouthful of the treat past his lips, struggling to catch his breath whilst chewing. “The thought of Sholmes what?” They raise their eyebrow, looking at Ryunosuke pointedly as he chokes on the dough, realising he’d revealed too much.

“Oh, oh, n-nothing, just… Sholmes. He’s an odd fellow, isn’t he?” It’s hard to argue against that, but still something isn’t quite right. “Not as odd as you’re being right now, Ryu.” He sighs in defeat, clearly agreeing with their assessment. “Look, just forget I said anything, alright? Can I just have a hug?” They laugh, opening their arms to accept him into their warm embrace. Ryunosuke leans in with a relieved sigh, melting into their body. How is he meant to go home and face Sholmes tonight? What is he supposed to say? Perhaps he could spend the night elsewhere for once? “Uh, dear, if I could ask for a favour…” Ryunosuke trails off, eyes widening.

Chapter Text

The sound of a door opening startles you, pulling you from a deep sleep. You rise on your elbow only to meet the wide, terrified eyes of your daughter who stands in the doorway, tightly clutching her stuffed rabbit. “What’s the matter, dear?” You ask, concern lacing your voice.

The girl stumbles towards you, climbing into your shared bed. Herlock is still asleep somehow, breathing even and peaceful. “I had a nightmare about daddy again.” She whines, her voice barely audible in the quiet room. You sigh, eyes rolling involuntarily. “Has daddy been reading his adventures to you before bed again?” The child nods, head hanging low. “Oh for the love of- Herlock!” You hiss, kicking him in the shins discreetly to wake him up.

Herlock awakens with a yelp, blinking the sleep away with confusion. “What was that for?” You snort. “Our daughter is having nightmares again because you’ve been reading her The Adventures of Herlock Sholmes. Again. After I explicitly forbade it. Again.” He turns to face you, a sheepish expression on his face. “Forgive me, darling. You know how forgetful I am. Come here,” he taps the spot between you on the bed, eyeing the scared child. The girl obliges, happily curling up between the two of you. “You needn’t worry, dear. The tales may be scary, but your father is near indestructible! Why, whenever a villain appears before me, I-”

With a sigh, you cut him off, “You needn’t worry, dear. The tales are mostly… exaggerated, if not outright fake.”

“Fake?!” Herlock exclaims incredulously, rising to look at you with his hands on his hips. “I’ll have you know, my dear madam, that I-” He catches sight of his daughter’s wide eyes then, sighing in defeat. “Well, I suppose you could say they are somewhat exaggerated. Little Iris has a wild imagination.” Your daughter giggles then, her voice perking up, “So daddy hasn’t been shot?” The look you give Herlock is murderous and he splutters, trying to explain himself. “W-Well, yes and no, I’ve been shot at, not shot.”

“And the snake?”

“The speckled band, may, uh, have been an elaborate cat toy.”

“And the potion that turned your hair red?”

“Hey now, that actually happened!” Herlock exclaims proudly, causing all three of you to laugh.

“Will you tell me another story, daddy?” Your daughter asks excitedly. Herlock nods eagerly, always willing to share his exploits. He begins the tale, only to sulk when you interrupt him every other sentence to set the record straight.

Chapter Text

The hardest part is getting him to stay in bed. His injuries may not be serious, but he had lost a lot of blood and gone through (unnecessary) surgery, which should be enough to keep any man bedridden for a while. Not Herlock though, no.

As soon as she leaves his side, he’s on his feet, rummaging through the drawers of his nightstand to tinker with a gadget or running into the kitchen to quickly sneak a snack he’s not allowed to have. Iris swears it’s worse than handling a child, if anything because he can reach all the hidden biscuit stashes.

“Hurley!” She accosts him with a frown, arms folded over her chest and her foot tapping impatiently, “You’re meant to be in bed.” She caught him red-handed, trying to spread a generous amount of jam and butter on a piece of toast. Iris knows he’s tired of the liquidy diet he’d been put on, but the surgery was quite invasive and she is the doctor in the household, after all.

Herlock drops the knife in defeat, putting his hands up. “Apologies, my dear Iris,” he sighs, shoulders slumping over, “I’ll go back to my room. All alone. Starving. Feeling this brilliant brain suffocate with boredom.” He walks past her and she can hear the loud thud when he carelessly drops onto the bed.

He’s still moping when she comes to his room later to dress his wound with fresh bandages and bring him his dinner. Herlock sighs, shooting the bowl of mashed potatoes a dirty look. “Iris,” he starts sitting up in bed, back against the headboard, “When all this is over and done with, I’m going to the market to buy the biggest pheasant I can find.” She laughs at the determination in his voice, her small hand working the bandage around his scarring flesh. “Hurley, the more you’re careful now, the sooner you’ll be fit enough to eat pheasants and anything else you want.” He grumbles something into the bowl but lies back down without a complaint when he’s done eating. His healing process speeds up almost miraculously after that.

Chapter Text

“Simon? Honey, what’s wrong?” You ask as he flops down on the sofa next to you without grace, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “Just tried taking a nap. Can’t fuckin’ sleep again,” he grumbles against your skin, voice dripping with frustration. “I’m sorry, dear,” you sigh, gently stroking his hair, “Can I do anything to help?”

Every once in a while a fit of insomnia strikes him, pushing his body into exhaustion after a few sleepless nights. The problem usually disappears on its own just as quickly as it appeared, but the period is difficult for the both of you - Simon is frustrated to the point of tears, everything seemingly going wrong and pushing him over the edge; for you it’s difficult watching him struggle, knowing you can do little to ease his suffering.

“Mmh,” he hums, inching closer to you, nuzzling your neck. “Just hold me for a while?” He doesn’t wait for your response before repositioning himself on the sofa, crawling over you until he’s seated on your lap, head resting on top of yours and one arm wrapped around your shoulders. “Thanks,” he sighs against your hair as he melts into your body, breath slowing down with time.

You chuckle at how ridiculous the sight must look - Simon is massive compared to you, his large body pinning you to the sofa, long legs hanging over the armrest while his hair falls into your eyes. He can’t be comfortable like this and you’re not comfortable either, not with how heavy he is and the way his arms hold you in place as his body relaxes. Still, you refuse to complain, gently stroking his back as sleep finally washes over him.

Chapter Text

The air is filled with the heavily perfumed scent of bath salts mixing with the sweet vanilla aroma of the candles that slowly flicker in the dim room. Miles lazily stretches his sore muscles, reaching for the sweet glass of red wine sitting on the edge of the large tub. It cost more than he’d like to admit, having a tub big enough to comfortably fit two installed at his place, but it’s one expense he never came close to regretting.

“Do you want me to wash your hair?” The woman behind him asks, her fingertips gently massaging his temples. Miles hums and sets the glass back down, relaxing into her touch. “Mmh, please,” he murmurs, sinking lower into the hot soapy water. Her hands move up, running her fingers through his soft hair to detangle any knots before wetting it with the showerhead. She takes her time lathering his damp hair, carefully applying product and massaging it into his sensitive scalp. Miles is near purring at the gentle attention, eyes fluttering shut with relaxation.

“All done. Your hair is so soft, dear,” she says appreciatively, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his head after rinsing the conditioner. “Thank you, my love,” Miles purrs, turning his head back to peck her jawline. He takes another sip of his wine before straightening in the tub and turning to face her. “Shall I do yours now?” He offers, gently stroking her cheek.

Chapter Text

It took Simon a long time to get back into dating after his release from prison and even longer to admit he’d developed feelings for his new partner. Their relationship started out as a fairly casual arrangement, more friends with benefits than proper lovers. He was grateful for their open-mindedness; his name may have been cleared, but that never stopped potential partners from running to the hills the second he revealed his past to them. It made him even more reluctant to seek out a partner, knowing he’d been branded for life.

And then they came along. They were so sweet and understanding, took time to hear him out and educate themselves on his case and accepted him with open arms after everything. Simon was so grateful and relieved, breaking down in tears the second he got home from their first date - which consisted of meeting up at a local coffee shop then going to see the latest Steel Samurai movie at the cinema. Their relationship progressed slowly and steadily after that, though neither one of them knew what label to put on it - they waited for Simon to speak his mind on the matter and truth be told, Simon had no clue exactly what he felt, but he knew he felt something he hadn’t in a long time.

Somewhere along the way, he realised he was in love with them - the foolish kind of love, bordering on teenage infatuation. He’d had so many years of his young life stolen from him, preventing him from experiencing most of the things his peers went through - many of his former classmates were already married with children at this point and Simon himself felt like hardly more than a child at times. They were so sweet and patient with him, praising him whenever he did something slightly out of his comfort zone, gently correcting him whenever he’d lashed out in a way befitting of the Twisted Samurai. He found himself craving their approval, wanting to do better just to see the pride in their eyes and needing their touch - God, he was so touch starved after everything, nearly bursting in tears the first time they let him lay his head on their lap whilst they watched some ridiculous show on Netflix, clinging on to them for dear life each time they were intimate, his grip harsh enough to bruise in its urgency.

And yet, he still couldn’t bring himself to tell them how they felt. He tried justifying it to himself at first, trying to convince himself he’s just bad with his words - a bald-faced lie; then he pretended not to know how he felt - yet another lie. He finally faced the truth - he feared vulnerability, a part of him he’d kept buried away for so many years out of pure survival instinct. Now, it was time to resurrect that piece of his soul and he didn’t know how. In the end, he’d decided to take baby steps.

He started out with simple actions, small gestures and acts of service that showed his love - making them a home-cooked meal, sending them flowers for no reason, buying small trinkets they would appreciate every once in a while. He’d hoped they’d get the hint and hopefully make the first move, but to his disappointment, it didn’t work. They’d thank him earnestly with the gentlest of kisses, but never more than that. He’d lay in bed at night with their soft body pressed against his harsh muscle, softly stroking their skin, cursing himself for being a fool. On one such night, sleep refused to take him no matter how much he tossed and turned. He settled curled up around their body from behind, hoping their warmth and the cadence of his heart would calm him enough to sleep. It didn’t work.

Simon sighed, nuzzling their bare shoulder. “Are you asleep?” No reply. “Of course you are.” He sighed again, his voice soft and barely audible in the silent room. “Listen, I know you can’t hear me and it’s probably for the best, but I can’t sleep and I- I suppose I just want to get this off my chest. I’m so grateful to have you in my life. I truly am. I appreciate everything you do for me and how patient you are with me. I know I’m a handful - Aura would probably say a massive jerk, really and I- Well, I suppose, she’s right, isn’t she? I can definitely be a jerk and- Oh God, I’m rambling now.” Simon paused for a second, taking a deep breath, “What I’m trying to say really is, well, I love you. I wish I could say it to your face and you deserve to hear it openly, not whispered into your back in the middle of the night like this. But I mean it- I, I love you.” Simon hadn’t felt that tongue-tied since he was a boy, asking that girl he fancied to prom with him, but relief washed over him nonetheless and he pressed a kiss into the skin of their neck whilst his arms protectively wrapped around their torso.

Suddenly, a small hand reached for his own, making his eyes shoot open. Oh no. “Simon?” A gentle voice called out to him. Oh no, no, no. “Simon, I love you too. Even when you’re a massive jerk. Even when you wake me up in the middle of the night to profess your love knowing I have work in the morning. I love you. Now go to sleep.” His eyelashes fluttered for a moment before he broke out in earnest laughter they soon joined in. “Yes, my love. Sorry for waking you up. Goodnight. I love you.” He fell asleep as soon as the words left his lips, sleeping contently like a child for the first time in years.

Chapter Text

“You’re late,” you gently scold the tall man approaching you with slumped shoulders. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I lost the track of time whilst writing that ridiculous essay I told you about. But I come bearing gifts to make up for it,” Klint smirks, pulling a bottle of wine from under his cloak. “Your parents let you take that?” You raise your eyebrow. He chuckles, your oldest friend, effortlessly uncorking the bottle with the blade he always carries with him. “What makes you think I asked?”

There’s always been a mischievous side to the esteemed Van Zieks heir, though it rarely got the opportunity to shine through these days. He spends most of his time now holed up in his room, eyes glued to one obnoxious law book or another, working hard on his goal to become a prosecutor. Klint tries to make time for everything and everyone - family, friends, studies - but it’s hard to balance everything out so your meetings are few and far in between, leaving you both to look forward to them.

“You work too hard, Klint. I’m scared you’ll become like one of those stuck up lords we used to make fun of,” you tease, hiding your concern beneath your mocking tone. He scoffs, “As if. Besides, look who’s talking. Remember how your mother would dress you up so nicely each time you came to visit, and we’d just run around and play without a care in the world? You’d always get grass stains on your dress and swear you’d never be a proper lady. The last time we met up like this, you threatened to throttle me for getting a drop of wine on your sleeve. You’re even wearing rouge!” He points at your face accusatorily before you break into a fit of giggles. “God, we’ve grown so old.”

You sit in silence for a while, taking turns drinking wine from the bottle and indulging in the sweets you’d brought. “I do miss you, you know,” Klint confesses, leaning back against the bench. “I miss my little sister.” You snort, the nickname warming your heart regardless. “Little? Need I remind you I’m nearly half a year your senior, young man?” Klint grins leaning forward, “Of course you are! Perhaps I should’ve said pocket-sized rather than little- OW! You know what, I changed my mind,” He exclaims whilst rubbing his sore shoulder, “You haven’t changed one bit.” You exchange another series of giggles before Klint begins a tale about one of his professors who, according to him, “has a morbid fascination with ugly hats and always smells like cats and cabbage”.

Chapter Text

• Miles is very awkward around children
• He tries his very best, bless him, but he does not get them and interacting with kids does not come naturally to him
• Massive internal freakout when he finds out he’s going to be a father, regardless of whether or not the child was planned and even if he’s adopting them
• Absolutely goes to Phoenix for advice on everything (unless they’re raising the kid together lol, depends on your shipping preferences)
• Edgeworth struggles with expressing his emotions, but he makes sure his babies know they’re loved
• Definitely shows his love through actions more than through words - getting them the best education possible, taking them out on fun outings, packing their school lunches, etc.
• He had a rocky childhood himself, so he tries to be the best father he could possibly be
• Works really hard to shake off the teachings of Von Karma - he tells his kids he’s proud of them frequently and makes sure there is no competition between them
• Much goofier than he lets on
• Gets super into whatever his kids are watching but won’t admit it
• Catch him sitting in his armchair “reading court documents” while his kids are watching The Son of Steel Samurai: New Hope of Neo Olde Tokyo or something
• “Why did you tell Timothy I was going to put him in jail for one thousand years” “He said pink suits are for girls” “…”
• The cravat gets retired at home after too many incidents

Chapter Text

MILES EDGEWORTH:

• depends on what Edgeworth we’re talking about
• absolutely do NOT date Bratworth
• disrespects women
• doesn’t realise short people have feelings
• wears that gaudy af jacket
• doesn’t want to date you anyways, is in a committed relationship with the law, baby
• original trilogy Edgeworth is a bit harder to gauge
• very emotionally constipated
• generally awkward to be around
• expect many unintentional staring contests
• simultaneously cocky and insecure
• this is the kind of a relationship you enter thinking you can “fix” him
• spoiler: you can’t
• his fashion sense is getting better though
• gotta be really buff if he walks up all those stairs to his office
• you’d have to compete with a ton of other women and who wants to deal with Wendy Oldbag? scary stuff
• he’s probably still not all that interested in dating but is also starting to warm up to general human contact lmao
• attempt to date at your own risk, though I’d advise against it (maybe casually drop hints you’re a Steel Samurai fan? idk)
• Chief prosecutor Edgeworth though? HELL YES, BABEY
• that man has matured and gotten himself some therapy
• can actually recognize human emotions!!
• that new coat and the glasses?? mwah chef’s kiss
• a (childless) DILF
• less subtle in his weebdom and who doesn’t love a confident man
• has lots of cool friends who’d like you
• still a bit aloof so have patience
• but hell yes, date, hell MARRY him idc

FRANZISKA VON KARMA

• Franzy is a baby but won’t ever admit it
• somehow even more emotionally constipated than her “little” brother
• do you like strong, mean women? me too, bro
• if someone is mean to you she will wreck them
• absolutely walks up to the counter at McDonald’s like “excuse me, you fool, they asked for no pickles”
• needs gentle reminders to be polite to people
• would call you by your full name all the time and it’s probably more than a little weird
• boy do I have good news for you if you’re into BDSM
• pretends not to care - cares a lot
• date but also, like, go to couples counselling for a bit

DIEGO ARMANDO/GODOT

• Diego is hot and he knows it
• very, VERY cocky
• like, kind of a douche but his heart is generally in the right place
• tries to be macho
• expect lots and lots of coffee dates… like, five a day lol
• would always have coffee ready for you in the morning… afternoon… evening… 3 am… whenever you’d like it, basically
• calls you kitten
• calls everyone kitten though
• calls Edgeworth kitten kinda hot ngl
• probably kinda overprotective
• very supportive, though
• a bit of a himbo
• probably never sleeps
• date if you like hot douchey guys basically
• Godot really is the ungodly cool guy with a mask
• daft punk enthusiast
• has many, many weird rules
• more douchey than ever
• would kill for you
• ngl he kinda creeps me out, I wouldn’t recommend it

KLAVIER GAVIN

• yes, you should date Klavier
• not even a question
• a literal rock star
• such a nice boy
• kinda questionable fashion, but he makes it work somehow
• eurotrash
• be ready to deal with the fangirls
• would be worth it in the end
• hot af
• would write songs for/about you
• he’s probably the smoothest bitch alive
• would take you on trips all the time
• he’s loaded, expect fancy gifts
• probably spends too much time on Instagram, tho

SIMON BLACKQUILL

• baby Blackquill is 100% boyfriend material
• what a nice young man
• weeb deep respect for the Japanese culture
• honorable intentions
• would treat you so well
• breaks up with you without an explanation one day and disappears for like, 10 years
• AA5 and onwards Blackquill is… an interesting one
• listens almost exclusively to traditional Japanese music and My Chemical Romance
• probably has a hard time adjusting to life outside
• needs lots and lots of therapy
• kinda scary at times
• would probably need discipline and rules in his day to day life after everything
• like, set his bedtime or something
• can be a jerk and tease you affectionately
• can also be a jerk in general, please tell him off, he’s scaring the wendy’s drive-through employee
• go bird watching with him
• I would date him but I understand why you wouldn’t
• he’s hot

NAHYUTA SAHDMADHI

• gorgeous, dahling
• a literal disney prince
• tries to impress you with his knowledge of your culture and it’s both endearing and embarrassing
• what’s crackalackin homies = how do you do fellow kids
• massive foodie
• kinda ranty tho
• can go for 8 hours straight
• unfortunately, i’m talking about sermons
• can be pretty insensitive at times
• spends a lot of time with his partnered detective, kinda sus
• at the very least date him to steal his haircare products

BAROK VAN ZIEKS

• what a scandalous man
• have you seen those curves
• more breast and thigh than a bucket of kfc
• built like an avenger
• very hot
• probably unaware of it, though
• what are emotions
• family man
• spends too much on “wine”
• you suspect he may be a vampire
• incredibly meticulous
• condescending
• openly racist
• like, date him after years of therapy and several racial/cultural sensitivity workshops or something
• in the meantime flash him your ankle to test the waters if you’re feeling extra saucy

BONUS: KAZUMA ASOGI

• *smacks him* this bad boy can fit so much emotional trauma inside
• literally good at everything
• stumbles over his words at times, though
• hypes you up so much for the lamest of reasons
• confident boy
• so hot-headed
• goes from 0 to 100 and back in a matter of seconds
• very honorable
• do NOT doubt his ability to get you off or he’ll make you choke on it
• cute laugh
• if you say you wouldn’t date him you’re lying to yourself and even worse you’re lying to me i’m so sorry for looking at your boyfriend ryuu

Chapter Text

PHOENIX WRIGHT

• yes, you really should
• probably one of the best, if not the best, boyfriends in the series
• wanna get married? husband material
• wanna have kids? father material
• has a tendency to casually adopt children actually, could be an issue at some point
• worships you
• you know how some guys brag about how they’d die for you?
• Nick would unironically die for you
• may even come close a few times but I’m pretty sure he’s canonically invincible (eating poisoned glass and falling off a burning bridge, who?? tis’ but a scratch!)
• massive gossip
• gets home after an investigation and immediately starts like “you won’t believe what I found out about Gumshoe today”
• somehow surprisingly mature and good at keeping secrets in spite of everything
• has a lot of really cool friends!!! and larry
• have you seen those shoulders tho?? mans built like a dorito, smashing through massive wooden doors n stuff
• biggest monthly expense is hair gel
• claims his hair is natural but you know better
• don’t be the big spoon, he will poke your eyes out
• can somewhat read your mind tho? a bit off-putting but ok
• marry him before Edgeworth someone else does

MIA FEY

• hell yeah, dude
• cool, calm, collected
• has literal superpowers
• successful business owner at 27!!! unironical #girlboss
• went from being a lame rookie to a literal legend with her own practice and an apprentice in, like, three years
• she’s so smart, I fear her
• has the fashion sense of a female character drawn by a cis man… oh, wait
• god help whoever tries to hurt you
• will literally kick their ass to hell
• family-oriented
• believes in second chances
• took phoenix under her wing after everything, mia has the patience of a saint honestly
• drops cool oneliners in everyday speech like a marvel character
• curve lovers rejoice
• doesn’t mind being called dorky nicknames
• major wife material

DIEGO ARMANDO/GODOT

• I already covered him in my prosecutors list,, literally did not occur to me to split Diego and Godot into two lists
• but to sum up, if I had to choose between the two, I’d go for Diego
• i like my men like i like my coffee - tall, dark and bitter
• ^^ eats up pickup lines like those

APOLLO JUSTICE

• Polly is such a sweet babey boy, please be nice to him
• short king
• low on confidence, makes up for it by being loud
• *voice cracking* HE’S FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!
• your neighbours will hate him
• such a pushover, will do anything you ask of him
• sensitive boy, not afraid to cry
• pretends not to be dorky - is very dorky
• consumes nerdy media almost exclusively (canonically a Whovian! but Capcom can’t say that)
• bikes everywhere and is apparently good with a hula hoop
• Polly got cake is what I’m saying
• have you seen his cool street style clothes?? sk8er boi
• very grounded, literally
• might play around and hold your hand for comfort
• won’t come to visit you if you live on a high floor, sorry
• cat dad!!! cat pics!!! yes!!!
• about 7 different tragic backstories
• new secret family member drops every week
• stares at you when you speak sometimes
• is he jealous of Klavier?? does he have a crush on him??? who knows but it’s funny watching them interact
• bicon
• spends way too much time on his hair
• someone please date him, he deserves some love

ATHENA CYKES

• holy childhood trauma batman
• been through a lot
• total empath
• if you’re sad, she’s sad
• can kinda read your mind… why is this such a common thing in AA games?? I like my privacy
• super energetic
• will drag you to the gym, take you on hikes, practice wrestling moves on you…
• you will always be sore but also in the best shape of your life
• has minus 25 chill
• incapable of keeping secrets from you
• her weird goth convict uncle threatens you every once in a while
• she promises he means it in a friendly way
• loves europop
• way too accomplished for her age, everyone in this game is so smart, help
• i feel like she’d enjoy theme parks idk
• date her, she’s baby and she needs some TLC

KRISTOPH GAVIN

• no
• he’s scary
• thinks he’s better than you
• thinks he’s better than everyone
• has the audacity to wear white shoes with a blue suit??? are you going to prom????? sir????
• obsessed with phoenix wright to an alarming degree
• perfectly manicured nails!
• the kind of guy who warns you never to go into his basement
• nice on the outside but it’s all fake
• deeply rooted issues even he’s unaware of
• if you like drillbit hair consider Klavier instead

RYUNOSUKE NARUHODO

• world’s biggest baby
• secretly a bitch
• loves to clown on people
• fake it till you make it
• has no clue what he’s doing most of the time
• very determined in spite of that
• everyone loves him
• so many cool friends
• cries at the thought of your bare ankles
• physically incapable of walking by a shop and not buying something he doesn’t need
• “look, i got you a gift!!” “awh, how sweet! …what is it?” “i don’t know, i’ll ask Mr Sholmes when he gets home!”
• good with his tongue
• may be somewhat trapped in the closet
• has literally zero chill
• remember when he just casually chased armed robbers??
• must be a family trait
• Iris interrogates you about your intentions with her brother
• she has a gun
• you have no privacy at his place
• Sholmes crashes your dates
• his bromance with Kazuma sometimes drops the “b”
• becomes ultra cool eventually
• hop into that time machine and date Ryu’s ass, but be prepared to deal with period-appropriate homoeroticism and misogyny lol

Extra little shout out to Kazuma Asogi for that one time where he was a defense lawyer for, like, an hour and a half and somehow managed to cram 50 of the horniest one-liners in the game in that very limited time. Date him.

Chapter Text

KLINT VAN ZIEKS

• more a matter of if you could than if you should
• Klinty boy is the heir of a noble family, the crème de la crème
  of the British society
• you would have to be a person of excellent standing to even get the chance to court him
• but hypothetically speaking, let’s say you do meet the standards
• a total gentleman
• very idealistic
• lives for his job
• dog dad!!! cute!!!
• …right?
• I imagine he would be a charitable man
• hereditarily great legs
• family man
• imagine coming for a visit one day unannounced or maybe you’re a bit early and the maid is like “I shall go fetch master, he is out training with his brother” and you look outside and they’re kicking a tree akdjakjnag
• what is that hair colour though?? I don’t get the Van Zieks genes
• also no offence, he’s a cute boy, but the way he’s built and those two front strands of hair make him look like an ant lmao bug boy
• seems troubled at times
• stays out all night and comes back… disturbed
• doesn’t want to talk about it
• don’t have his baby it will eat you from the inside twilight style poor lady b convince me this isn’t what happened
• I’d reluctantly say date him, but keep an eye on what he does and where he goes

HERLOCK SHOLMES

• you will know literally no peace
• manchild
• needs attention 24/7
• stroke his ego or he sulks
• may or may not be on a constant sugar rush capcom we all know he’s doing cocaine it’s okay
• you can’t tell if he’s genuinely a dumbass or if he’s playing around
• a bit of both probably
• a DILF
• nice legs (I’m sensing a pattern here)
• you never know what to expect from him
• at some point, you just stop paying attention to his shenanigans
• you walk in and his hair is blue? just a regular Tuesday
• he is offended by this
• Iris loves you
• you consult her with whatever Herlock-related issue you may have because she’s a walking talking “How to deal with Herlock Sholmes” manual
• you sometimes forget she’s the child in that dynamic
• he’s very supportive of your exploits
• has an excuse for everything
• “Herlock? Did you eat the entire tea cake? I just baked it!”
• “Ohoho, my dear! Great detectives are wont to eat tea cakes! I have second-degree burns on my tongue now, hail me a coach for the hospital, won’t you?”
• just pops out of nowhere
• weird money-making schemes
• he’s overall pretty goofy but when push comes to shove he will get serious and do the right thing
• knows everything about everyone
• breaks an average of two laws on the daily
• will lie and forget he lied
• doesn’t remember your birthday or anniversary
• doesn’t remember his own birthday probably
• mood swings
• listen…….. he’s a mess but he’s a himbo and I’d date every himbo presented to me
• make sure you tell him off tho, he needs a handler
• great morosexual representation

Chapter Text

PHOENIX WRIGHT

• Phoenix would probably handle it more maturely than the rest of the gang
• He’s hurt, but he acknowledges it’s the best for the both of you
• He wouldn’t try to avoid you and he’s perfectly civil
• Maybe even a bit friendlier than you’d expect him to be
• Feenie has a good support system and many shoulders to cry on, he’d be fine
• You miss his 30 adopted kids and they miss you
• You take Trucy, Athena and Apollo out for ice cream every once in a while
• Every time you read his latest weird courtroom exploit in the newspaper, you get a warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach
• “Local Lawyer Proves Reincarnation is Possible, Wins Trial” and you’re just like *sighs* “That’s my Feenie”
• He will keep everything you ever gave him, even if it’s something dorky

MIA FEY

• Similarly to Phoenix, I think Mia would handle the breakup well
• She’s been through a lot in her relatively short life and she knows how to deal with heartbreak
• Some old abandonment trauma may resurface
• Buries herself in her work
• Always has a smile on her face when talking to you

DIEGO ARMANDO/GODOT

• Already covered in the prosecutors list
• To sum up - has a ton of exes, kinda flirty still, you have a complicated relationship with coffee now and you definitely get back together at some point for better or for worse
• He’s thotty, I don’t blame you

APOLLO JUSTICE

• Our poor short king can have no peace and stability, can he?
• HE’S FINE!!!!!!!!!!!
• The Chords of Steel training almost doubles
• His confidence takes a pretty big hit regardless of whether the split was amicable or not
• Finds comfort in his kitty and dorky media
• Buys extra papers just to read different funnies every morning
• Workes extra hard for a while to keep himself busy
• Wright Anything Agency toilet is absolutely spotless and Trucy’s show is spectacular as a result
• Secretly listens to the Gavinners greatest love ballads compilation album
• He tries to be friendly but it comes across as incredibly awkward
• Moves across the world to be with his adopted brother #43

ATHENA CYKES

• She senses something is wrong long before you have “the talk”
• Knows your heart is not fully into it anymore maybe even before you do
• That probably hurts more than the breakup itself
• Widget broaches the subject before either one of you do
• She’s heartbroken both for herself and for you since she can feel your pain
• Spends so much time in the gym trying to sweat out the sadness
• Watches a lot of trashy romance movies with Trucy and Apollo
• Simon Blackquill hates you
• She’s so nice to you it almost breaks your heart

KRISTOPH GAVIN

• Honey, you’re better off without him, trust me
• You realise there’s more to life than trying to meet someone’s impossible standards
• You miss your manicure sessions and probably judge your future lovers’ hands a bit too harshly from that point onwards
• When you read he’s in jail you can’t even pretend you’re surprised

RYUNOSUKE NARUHODO

• He cries
• So does Susato
• And Iris
• Sholmes is confused
• Poor Ryu doesn’t know how to act anymore
• His eyes are popping out of his head whenever he’s around you
• Kazuma wants to kick your ass
• So does Susato
• And Iris
• He has a good, albeit temperamental, support system
• Shops away the pain
• Hates to admit it, but nothing helps him like Sholmes’ Shenanigans TM
• Stares at his aquarium for hours, especially at the prawn Iris named after you

Chapter Text

KAZUMA LIVIN’ HIS LIFE POST DGS2

• This poor boy has so many issues to work through
• He’s sad to see both Ryu and Susato go but he would never stand in the way of their happiness
• Kazuma befriends Sholmes and Iris and they make sure to feed him quite well
• I imagine he moves into Ryu’s former office now that it’s vacant
• Iris manages to conjure up a chicken recipe he does not loathe
• She likely adopts him as a brother at some point
• If Runo and Susie love him so much, so does she
• Sholmes confuses and amuses him to no end
• Won’t dance with him, Sholmes is Big Sad TM
• The second Sholmes picks up Kazuma is bad at tongue twisters he’s done for, it’s all he speaks in
• Regularly writes to Ryu and Susato
• They mail him a photograph of themselves in front of his grave and it’s his prized possession
• He shows it to everyone
• Gets into an argument with Van Zieks about whether or not it’s morbid and socially acceptable to frame it and display it in their office
• Maria think it’s the funniest thing ever
• Becomes besties with Gina and appreciates her unorthodox investigation methods more than most (THE GREAT ACE ATTORNEY INVESTIGATIONS COMING WHEN, CAPCOM???)
• Van Zieks is trying to behave, but watching his detective swipe evidence and his student casually pull his sword on witnesses gets him into panic mode
• Lots of facepalming and wine drinking
• I’m sure they spend a lot of time bickering
• Kazuma has zero chill, will smash a fine vintage bottle like he owns it and Van Zieks doesn’t know if he should be annoyed or proud
• They seem to get on well enough to go on fancy outings together
• Bullies Van Zieks for his headwear choices

• Sends this photo to Ryu and he’s like “I see you’re wearing those tight trousers. Since when did you become a whore?”
• That coat/jacket fits him so awkwardly, probably borrowed one from Barok or Sholmes from their younger years
• My boy is just trying to live his life and working hard so he can go and change the Japanese legal system with his partner 😭

Chapter Text

PHOENIX WRIGHT

• He’s into it
• It’s saucy and forbidden and Nick likes it
• He likes the idea of it, that is
• Gets very excited when you tell him you’ve been assigned to the case he’s been working on
• “Great! You’ll go easy on me, right? …Right?”
• Spoiler alert: you don’t
• Tries to flirt his way into getting you to leak confidential information
• Happy to know he at least won’t get physically assaulted in court for once
• Also happy to know you won’t try and use underhanded tactics to win
• Proud of you, regardless of the outcome

MIA FEY

• Mia doesn’t mind
• She’s confident in her own ability to stay impartial and collected
• Expects the same from you
• May gently tease you about it, even during the trial
• Won’t ask for any information, but also won’t reveal any
• The loser has to pay for lunch

DIEGO ARMANDO

• Oh, he’s so into it wouldn’t even believe it
• The idea amuses him to no end
• Expect to get teased day and night
• “My my, I can’t wait to see my kitten’s claws come out in court tomorrow. ”
• Makes you coffee before court
• Maybe during the trial too
• Tries not the be inappropriate during the trial, fails
• The judge notices something is up
• “The defense will explain their incessant… coquetting with the prosecution.”
• He’s a good sport if you win
• Will be an absolute nightmare if you lose
• You won’t ever hear the end of it
• “Perhaps my kitten’s claws aren’t as sharp as I thought.”
• *insert 50 bad innuendoes about practicing on him*

APOLLO JUSTICE

• Says he’s fine
• Is lying
• He doesn’t like that he’s going up against you
• It almost feels personal
• Apollo knows it’s not like that, but he can’t help but feel as if you two are having a fight
• Hopes you at least won’t bully him during the trial
• He’s not used to the prosecution being nice
• Ends up kinda enjoying it in the end
• Still hopes you won’t have to come up against each other ever again
• He likes to keep things peaceful and when you’re on the same side

ATHENA CYKES

• She’s 100% stoked
• Sees it as a competition, no different than a regular game night
• Brings her A game, expects you to do the same
• Will not forgive you if you go easy on her
• Athena: “I can’t wait to see you in court! It’s going to be so much fun!”
• Widget: “WE’RE GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT!”
• Regardless of who kicks whose butt, you go out to celebrate together
• Puts Widget on mute during the trial to avoid extremely uncomfortable situations
• Imagine having to explain to the judge why her necklace just screamed out “You’re so hot when you’re like this” sksdkajkfsjk

KRISTOPH GAVIN

• Kris hates it from start to finish
• You’re meant to be a united front and now you’re going against him
• Secretly enjoy the opportunity to prove himself, though
• If he wins he will gloat till the end of time
• If he loses, expect a break-up text lmao
• Will at the very least refrain from… shady activities

RYUNOSUKE NARUHODO

• He’s so excited
• Can’t wait for you to find the truth together
• Believes in your good intentions 100%
• Will call you out if you get carried away
• So happy to go up against someone who isn’t verbally abusive, poor boy
• Sholmes teases you both
• Ryu can’t wait to see the case you worked on “together” be published in the Randst Magazine
• Can’t help getting wide-eyed, even when he’s going up against you

Chapter Text

Friendly reminder that this is a canonical depiction of Herlock being jealous

Look at this dumbass

• Herlock is a very needy man.
• He needs your attention 24/7, sometimes even more.
• The thing with him is, he’s so clearly full of himself. As a result, he’s very unlikely to be jealous of an attractive individual trying to chat you up. It doesn’t phase him one bit, unless you actively and openly start flirting with them.
• Pops up in the middle of your conversation, bent over so his eyes meet yours. “Are you, perhaps, forgetting about someone, my dear? That charming, tall, blonde fellow standing right here, for instance?”
• He’s not really the confrontational macho type, won’t try to pick a fight with his rival.
• Focuses on you, looking for reassurance.
• Infinitely more likely to be jealous of someone else getting your attention. He needs you to talk to him, praise him, look at him - anything, really. Herlock craves your approval and attention.
• It’s an odd feeling, being scolded by a man in his 30s for… not looking at him enough? Hard to say

Also canon

• You notice him mope around more than usual, nibbling on his homemade caramel bar, his only friend *sighs*
• “Herlock, what’s wrong now?”
• “Why nothing, my dear. I’m perfectly happy being forsaken by everyone.” *siiiiiiiighs*
• Fishes for compliments constantly at times like those.
• You may or may not be sick of his antics.
• “Are you jealous, dear?”
• “As if, my dear! I am the great detective, Herlock Sholmes! I have travelled the world, solving cases in the service of Her Majesty! I’m-”
• “You are jealous.”
• “Perhaps a bit, yes.”
• You reassure him, sprinkle in some compliments you know he’ll appreciate.
• “Ohoho, that’s more like it! For the record, I was never jealous to begin with.”
• Rinse and repeat every other day.

Chapter Text

• All of his interactions with you are hesitant, skittish almost. It’s hard to tell if he fears he’ll scare you away by coming on too strong or if he genuinely does not know what to do.
• It’s up to you to initiate intimacy most of the time, although there are moments when he’ll lean in for an unexpected kiss. He’s learned to present his cheek whenever you meet up or when you are about to leave, growing accustomed to that quick “hello” or “goodbye” peck. It’s completely subconscious on his part, but you think it’s adorable regardless.
• Sometimes you sit together at his place, lazily watching the latest Steel Samurai episode, your head sleepily resting on his shoulder. He strokes your hair then, kissing the top of your head when you drift off.
• You can tell he wants more when you kiss sometimes. His tongue darts out to lick your bottom lip, asking for access. Your lips part eagerly, but these kisses are over before they even properly start, Miles pulling away, his cheeks pink enough to match his suit.
• One time you visit him at his office just before you’re meant to go on a walk. He’s sitting in only his shirt and waistcoat while he finishes up some paperwork. It’s a good look, you think, eyeing his sharp figure. You plop down next to him, eager to fluster him as always.
• “Miiiileees,” you purr, “Give me a kiss.” He leans over and presses a quick kiss to your cheek, not even looking at you. Sigh. “Not like that,” you whine, inching closer. “A proper kiss. Come on.”
• He sets down the documents and looks at you now, the right side of his lip curling up. “Very well,” he says, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he pulls you closer. Your lips meet and it’s soft and gentle, chaste almost. You put your hand on the back of his head, scooting even closer to him, not letting him pull away. His tongue grazes over your bottom lip and your lips part to let him inside. Your arms around him hold him in place now and he gets the hint, not making a move to pull away as he usually would.
• He kisses you like that for a while and it’s surprisingly gentle, the way his tongue intertwines with yours. There’s no rush with him, now or ever. Miles takes his time, arms pulling you closer until you’re leaning against his broad chest. Your hands travel across his body, raking through his grey hair, rubbing his arms and moving down his sides. He finally pulls away when you reach his thighs.
• “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- Was that too far?” He tuts. “I’m merely trying to catch my breath, dear.” You look at him now, his hair dishevelled, lips swollen and red. Even his cravat came untucked somehow. Oops.
• “Did you like that?” You ask, looking at him hopefully. He nods, the initial shyness returning. “I did. Quite a bit, actually.”
• “Excellent!” You gasp, feeling more than a little victorious. “Now, give me another kiss, hm?”
• He cocks his eyebrow but obliges.

Chapter Text

• Straight up thinks you’re making fun of him should you show any interest
• Too socially awkward for the world
• Thinks he’s cursed anyways, so how could anything good come to him?
• Maybe strike up a conversation about cats
• Or literature provided that you’re willing to get rowdy
• Becomes an absolute softie once he realises your affection is sincere
• Bookstore dates
• Drones endlessly about literature and his own misfortunes
• Calls you only the most proper of names
• ABSOLUTELY ASTONISHING AMOROUS ACCOMPLISHMENT
• Still kinda suspicious about everything

Chapter Text

MILES EDGEWORTH

• Let’s be real, Edgeworth is buff af underneath all those ruffles and magenta layers.
• Official art for proof

• He doesn’t pay much attention to his partner’s physical appearance, but he’d lie if he said he wasn’t intrigued by your physique.
• Miles is aware it’s not exactly the norm for women to be outright strong and ripped (he pays some attention to the media, sometimes), but he likes knowing you’re capable of taking care of yourself.
• He obviously works out. I imagine a guy that boujee would have a home gym. You could work out together. It’s a good bonding activity.
• Blushes like mad if you pick him up one day. Secretly into it. Do it again.

FRANZISKA VON KARMA

• Consulting the image above, we can deduce that Franzy is certainly fit and quite strong, but not exactly ripped.
• Most likely works out at a women’s gym to avoid creeps like Larry.
• You meet at the gym and you offer to help her with her workout.
• Eager to always make that whip arm stronger, she accepts.
• You become workout buddies after and you always grab some healthy brunch or shakes after.
• You start dating soon enough and she’s beaming, knowing you’re both capable of kicking Larry’s ass.

DIEGO ARMANDO/GODOT

• Having dated Mia “The Chad” Fey, he knows what it’s like dating a woman capable of kicking his ass.
• Unapologetically into it. Thinks it’s hot when you wear something skimpy or tight that shows off your arms or abs.
• Likes seeing you in workout gear. Leggings are his jam.
• Will beg you to throw him over your shoulder. Also to smack his ass.
• Have you seen that waist and those shoulders? Obviously buff and takes care of himself, so expect him to reciprocate when the mood hits.

KLAVIER GAVIN

• Have you seen his cleavage? He’s fit and he likes showing it off.
• Likes showing you off too.
• You work out together regularly at his ultra-fancy home gym.
• He treats it like a photoshoot.
• Posts a thousand stories on his Insta and they’re all a thirst trap to some extent.
• “Look at my girllll 💪😫🔥🔥🔥”
• Tags himself on your ass.

SIMON BLACKQUILL

• Simon is an accomplished martial artist. One look at those shoulders can tell you as much.
• Goes into full dumbass mode.
• Wants to wrestle you.
• Wants to arm wrestle you.
• You scuffle on the floor over the dumbest things, like who gets to pick the movie that evening.
• Will attempt to play fight you way too often cause he desperately needs his ass kicked lmao.
• Offers to teach you swordplay and whatever martial art he’s good at, wants you to teach him whatever you may know.
• Likes knowing men are afraid of you.

NAHYUTA SAHDMADHI

• More interested in your soul than your physique, but it does fluster him to an extent.
• He’s a slender-fit guy, so seeing a lady who’s quite buff is an interesting sight.
• Acknowledges you know what you’re doing when it comes to fitness. Will listen to your nutritional advice, as much as it pains him.
• “Yuti, that burger meal is almost 4000 calories. Are you sure you want that?”
• “No, I suppose not.” *sad burger-lover noises*
• When he gets a bit carried away during a McDonald’s trip he comes to you to help him burn it off.
• His monk ass is on the verge of a nosebleed when he sees you in workout gear.

BAROK VAN ZIEKS

• It’s… unusual for a lady of his time to be so strong. Not unheard of, but certainly unusual. (Google buff Victorian ladies, extend your lifespan).
• There are some whispers about you in the upper-class society, but he couldn’t care less.
• He’s quite happy knowing you can defend yourself against any potential assailants that may come after him or you.
• Most likely offers to train you himself.
• You NEVER skip leg day.

KAZUMA ASOGI

• Kazuma Asogi is SHREDDED

• Sporty boy.
• Also goes full dumbass mode.
• Trains every day.
• Wants you to train with him.
• Presumably has fallen victim to his fair share of Susato Takedowns over the years. Lets you practice martial arts on him with grace.
• Will never let it go if you beat him in a “fight”, even if it’s all for play. Starts training harder after.
• Enjoys having his ass kicked regardless.

Chapter Text

• You’re used to walking into 221B Baker Street only to be met with the most unusual of sights - explosions, new “incredible” inventions, Sholmes hanging off the chandelier. It was all familiar at that point in your life.
• One day, however, you walk in and find him cradling a newborn, looking as if he hadn’t slept in a week and you’d only seen him a day or two ago. He had no children at the time. You nearly faint.
• He swears up and down that he’d been faithful to you and it’s not like that. And it isn’t. His partner tells you the harrowing tale of how the child came to be in their care. Herlock’s care, as he intends to return to his homeland soon. Sholmes promises he won’t hold it against you if you choose to leave as well. It’s not your responsibility, he tells you. He’ll manage on his own, somehow.
• You look at him and at the child in his arms. A little girl. Iris is her name, they tell you. Only then do you realise how young you are, how young he is, and you decide to stick around, knowing your life is about to change forever.
• You move in with him after that. The people talk when they hear, when they see you together and with the child. Herlock is terribly apologetic about it all, promises you he’ll set everything straight eventually, but you don’t even mind at that point. You’re focused on raising your child.
• As it turns out, Herlock makes for an incredible dad. “Must be because of how childish you are, Hurley,” you giggle. He feigns offense at your words, but you both know there’s some truth to it.
• He cries when the child’s first word is da-da, and almost every time she says it after. So do you.
• You’re both stunned by just how incredible Iris is. She walks and talks like an adult when she should still be crawling. She’s constantly getting into his supplies and experimenting. You’d be worried normally, but it turns out she’s more careful about it than Herlock is.
• One day he tells you, “You know, I think she’ll be smarter than I ever was by the time she’s 10.” You realise just how much he loves the girl then. His daughter. Your daughter.
• Iris is always there whenever you’re doing something. If Herlock is cooking up some concoction or putting together some convoluted contraption, she’s assisting and nodding her little head while he babbles on. If you’re gardening, she’s there, asking questions about different plants and scribbling down notes in her little notebook.
• Years go by and Iris just becomes smarter with each passing day. Herlock is worried she will just figure everything out one day. She stops calling him daddy when she learns her real daddy is away. Herlock lets her believe some convoluted half-baked lie and you have a falling out about it. She takes up calling him Hurley after, having heard it from you.
• Iris is a mini adult by the time she’s 10, in truth. Sometimes it seems as if the two of you are raising Herlock. He relaxes with age and definitely matures more than you ever thought possible, but he’s still as energetic as always and it’s unlikely that his ego and boyishness will ever melt away. Iris looks tired of him sometimes.
• He’d quite like more children one day, he tells you pointedly. As much as the thought scares you, it does seem to be his true calling. “You should’ve been a governess, Hurley,” you tease. “Hoho, my dear, I’ll keep that in mind should my great detective work ever run dry. I do look quite dashing in a dress, you must admit!”
• When Iris starts calling him daddy again, he has a crying meltdown unlike any you’ve ever seen.

Chapter Text

MILES EDGEWORTH

• he is saddled with unnecessary feelings
• does not want to go up against you
• we all know he’s a bit of an ass in court with his snark
• he’s scared he may genuinely offend or upset you
• expect to be glared at from across the courtroom
• he’s not too bothered with who wins or loses, so he won’t gloat or resent you based on the outcome
• may be a bit too critical of your skills in the courtroom
• you may or may not get a handwritten list of notes from him
• tries to be helpful but comes across as a bit of an ass regardless
• you’re not getting any information from him before the trial
• hell, he may avoid you altogether
• “How was your day?”
• “I’m not at liberty to share information with the defense.”
• just wants the trial to be over to restore the peace
• the peace was never disturbed, he’s just an awkward boy
• why does that chess piece look eerily like you? spooky
• he’s a gentleman, he’ll treat you to some fancy dinner afterwards
• will drive you to court in his fancy sports car but will be awkward the whole time
• kiss him on your way out and witness a rare phenomenon where his face matches his suit

FRANZISKA VON KARMA

• why would you accept the case if she’s the prosecutor, you foolish fool?
• she wants to kick your ass in court
• maybe outside court too
• can’t wait for you to witness her perfection
• struggles really hard with not calling you a fool or whipping you during the trial
• that’s for when you’re alone
• completely flips out if she loses to the point of possibly damaging your relationship
• like, she has a full-blown tantrum
• torn between holding a drudge and being proud of you and your perfection
• if you are going to be a part of the family, you may as well prove yourself
• though it would be better for everyone if you just abstained from being on the opposite sides in a trial
• unless it somehow becomes a thing you two are into
• it’s Franzy, I wouldn’t put it past her hey
• “Keep asking for more information and I might just bring out the whip.”

GODOT

• he’s definitely into it
• tries to manwhore his way into getting info from you
• tell him if there’s red stains on anything, he’d appreciate it
• may even be down to discuss some of the details of the case over 17 cups of coffee
• very smug in court
• nicknames galore
• talks nonsense a lot
• you know all of those rules are made up on the spot
• won’t physically assault you with a scalding cup of coffee, thank god
• the bar is low for prosecutors in these games
• he’s a tough opponent to beat since he knows all the tricks of a defense attorney
• extremely proud of you if you win
• you may remind him of a certain someone someone
• oh no he’s crying tears of blood quick play him some black veil brides and take photos for his myspace
• takes you on a coffee date after the trial to tease you either about your victory or defeat, he’s not picky

KLAVIER GAVIN

• he thinks it’s going to be fun
• doesn’t really see you as a rival
• information is pouring out of his mouth at alarming rates
• you may have to ask him to stop
• “I’m just trying to level the playing field, Liebchen.”
• “Well, I’m not saying a word.”
• “How about now?” *unbuttons another button on his shirt*
• his die-hard fans will write fanfiction about you
• he reads it out loud to you
• “Look at this, mein Schatz, here we have a quickie during one of the breaks. How silly! …Unless?” *shifty eyes* “No, we couldn’t… or could we?”
• you can and will
• if he wins, he won’t rub it in your face for too long
• happy for you if you win
• either way you’re going on a fancy night out and there’s photos of you in TMZ tomorrow morning

SIMON BLACKQUILL

• panic mode
• he knows it won’t end well for your relationship
• tries to mansplain manwhore manipulate his way out of this predicament
• tries to get assigned to a different case
• asks you to consider dropping your client
• if neither works he’s brainstorming for a way to not break up by the first break
• reads you a list of slightly rude nicknames he came up for you to use during a trial and wants you to approve of at least two
• “Just call me by my name, you dumbass.”
• “I have a reputation to uphold!!!! Now, would you prefer something based on your clothing or height? Be honest.”
• “Taka’s not allowed to attack anyone in the courtroom, understood?” “Why do you hate me?”
• ngl you think it’s kinda hot when he gets mean during the trial
• he doesn’t care if he wins or loses as long as both his punk rock persona and relationship survive the fight
• kinda hard to do his job properly when the defense just sighs and rolls their eyes at his hardcore totally happened bro stories
• never wants to do it ever again
• the judge thinks he’s gone soft

NAHYUTA SAHDMADHI

• this is just bad news all around
• is Yuti even allowed to date? he’s a monk
• and worse still, a defense attorney? yikes
• my boy out here risking his soul
• this would have to be a very hush hush relationship
• absolutely no one is allowed to know or even assume you two are anything more than sworn enemies
• he will be absolutely nasty in court
• might abstain from the begone thot bead toss but that’s about it
• asks for forgiveness both before and after court multiple times
• prays extra hard for guidance and to repent for his sins
• if anything, high tensions = great sex? the smarmy monk’s gonna blow your back out get it get it

BAROK VAN ZIEKS

• listen, Barok appears in court once in a blue moon
• if he’s your rival, it’s because he wants to be your rival
• struts into the courtroom, muscles bulging out of his coat, pants tighter than an 80s rockstar’s, bottle of wine in his hand?? he knows what he’s doing
• he’s basically there to assess you as an attorney and as a suitor
• and to woo you in the process should he deem you acceptable
• someone call st. synner’s, this man urgently needs a chill transplant
• if you’re already an item he just does it for fun
• it’s not like he needs the money
• he’s there to do his malewife duty of being hot and annoying

KAZUMA ASOGI

• possesses the least amount the chill and the 2nd tightest coat on the list
• bad innuendos, bad innuendos for everyone!!
• he thinks it’s so hot that you’re trying to change the system from opposite sides of the courtroom
• liberally shares information
• boy wants to find the truth
• if you win he’s embarrassed that he lost
• if you lose you embarrass him by your loss as his S/O
• kind of a lose/lose situation if you ask me
• he’s a good sport regardless
• knows most of your attorney moves so he’s extra impressed if you win
• “That was a good job you did there, partner.” = “That was so hot, babe.”
• he’s just a poor student boy who doesn’t even have a passport on him at this point
• if you’re celebrating it’s with a bottle of wine he nicked from the prosecutors’ office and a cake Iris baked for him

Chapter Text

• Listen, I may call him a douche every now and again, but I do so lovingly
• I genuinely don’t believe he’d be a bad partner
• That goes for both Diego and Godot

• Godot has been through a life-changing ordeal that left him with more health issues than he can count
• As much as he hates to admit it, he’s quite frail
• You gotta go easy on him in all aspects
• Date activities are somewhat limited
• I imagine he can’t do any serious physical activity for long periods of time
• Godot is a pillow princess, you heard it here first, folks
• Enjoys giving and receiving massages
• Gets rambly and surprisingly emo at times
• If you knew him when he was still Diego, you wouldn’t believe it was the same guy
• One moment he’s talking about coffee, next thing you know he’s waxing poetic about existential dread or something
• Takes off his visor when he’s just chilling at home with you
• He’s effectively blind without it, so this is a huge sign of how much he trusts you
• Will just lay his head on your lap and listen to whatever you’re watching on TV
• Alternatively, will just make out with you and it’s easier when you don’t have bright red LED lights blaring into your eyes
• You’re begging him to cut down on caffeine
• Godot, vibrating “I’m fine”
• Eventually agrees to keep his daily intake of coffee cups in single digits (like, 9)
• It’s a victory you’ll take
• His demeanor largely depends on whether or not the events of Bridge to The Turnabout already happened
• If not, he’s bitter and obsessive, he becomes clingy and overprotective, scared of letting you out of his sight
• If he’s confessed to his crimes and been to prison, I imagine he’d return almost at peace
• He’s repented and carried out his punishment, he’s let go of the past and now he just wants to move forward
• He would probably like kids, but isn’t sure if he can handle fatherhood considering the state of his health
• You get a kitten together and he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever
• Calls you kitten, gives the kitten a regular human name
• “Morning, kitten. You too, Muriel.”
• Enjoys bickering and is quite smug regardless of who’s right and who’s wrong in the end
• Enjoy making up even more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
• He’s a soft boy under that rough, macho exterior
• I believe he’d start calling himself Diego again after a while, or at least lets you call him Diego

Chapter Text

MILES EDGEWORTH

• In spite of his cool exterior, Miles gets flustered quite easily
• He may even drop one of his infamous NGOOHs
• His S/O has to be careful with their teasing
• Miles struggles with picking up cues at times, so he may take their teasing to heart
• I imagine he wouldn’t exactly mind some playful banter but would prefer it if they only did it when they were alone
• The King of Snark will definitely fight back; you can’t be a lawyer without being good with your words and we all know Miles can get quite creative during his cultured roasts lmao
• They tease him over things he needlessly finds shameful the most
• “Aw, Miles, we just got the latest issue of The Steel Samurai manga in the mail. How odd, surely there must be some sort of a mistake?”
• “Hm-m, well, yes, I- A mistake, yes…”
• “After all, there are no children in this household, just me and my lovely, mature partner. Whyever could we have gotten this?”
• “Well, n-no, my dear, I don’t know…”
• “Oh, relax, Miles. I’m just pulling your leg. Enjoy your book, dear.”

FRANZISKA VON KARMA

• Harder to fluster than her cute little subordinate
• I would advise against serious teasing whilst she’s got her hand on the whip handle
• She wouldn’t actually hit her S/O, it’s all empty threats to make them stop - that’s how they know she truly is flustered
• Franziska likes to tease and bicker with her partner, but she is definitely the more sensitive one of the two in the end - if anyone ends up blushing and sputtering their words, it’s going to be her
• “You’re such a fool at times, you know,” Franziska laughs, a smug expression on her face. Her partner shrugs, “And you’re in love with a fool. What does that make you then?” Franziska’s eyes widen, hand gripping the leather cord in her palms. “M-me? Well, I-I suppose I-”
• “Am the bigger fool, then.” The person across her finishes, grinning ear to ear. “Nonsense! I’m no fool… fool!”

Chapter Text

• It’s Kazuma’s idea, probably.
• You’re a student at the Imperial Yumei University and you happen to have a few classes together with them. Ryunosuke is hardly more than a stranger to you, your communication consisting of polite greetings and occasional small talk. Kazuma is bit more familiar to you, though practically everyone knows Kazuma.
• Kazuma and Ryunosuke are friends, that much you know. Occasionally you notice them looking your way, whispering amongst themselves. Ryunosuke seems bashful when you catch his gaze and Kazuma shoots you one of his quick, confident smirks, hand grasping the hilt of his sword.
• They start you inviting on outings with them, trying to get to know you better. It takes them several months to reveal the true nature of their relationship to you, having finally determined you can be trusted. They swear you to secrecy then and reveal their interest in you which is less chaste than you’d thought.
• It’s an odd proposal, joining their relationship. What is even more odd is how intrigued and eager you are. You give them your answer - you’re willing to try. They look relieved to hear that. “Excellent!” Kazuma says, “Welcome aboard, partner.”
• You spend a good few years like that, hiding in plain sight. One day, Kazuma and Ryunosuke tell you they’re leaving and it breaks your heart to see them both go.
• The next few years are tumultuous - Ryu writes to you regularly, but the news of Kazuma’s death shakes you to your core.
• You nearly faint one day when you receive a letter from Ryu, telling you Kazuma is alive. You think it’s some sort of a joke until you receive a letter from Kazuma himself, his penmanship unmistakable. Your correspondence continues, occasionally getting a photograph or two from them, all of which you cherish.
• Ryunosuke is the first to return and you wait for him on the pier. You embrace him tightly the second he disembarks the ship and Susato gives you a knowing look.
• Your relationship with Ryunosuke continues as if he’d never left and you just grow closer than before. He sets up a legal consultancy that flourishes with time and you start working with him as an aide. It’s difficult to include Kazuma in your day-to-day life but you try as much as possible, sending him snippets of your life.
• Years go by before Kazuma returns home, wrinkles gracing his once boyish face. He’s changed quite a bit, his temper and impulsiveness mellowed out with age. With you, he’s still the young man he once was, eager to have the two of you back in his arms.
• The three of you move in together. There are whispers of course, but they’re usually people wondering why the three of you are fraternizing with the enemy, as they put it. A defense lawyer and a prosecutor living together? Scandalous! Regardless, it’s nice to have both of your partners back in your life.
• Your relationship is a bit of an open secret among the locals, but no one ever says anything to you.
• You visit Kazuma’s grave together at times, laughing about everything that happened since your carefree University days.
• Arguments are always fun. “Two against one, hm? The two of you don’t play fair, you know.” Kazuma smirks, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
• Trials are kind of foreplay for you, to be honest. No matter who wins or loses, you all win, especially you, stuck in the middle between them.

Chapter Text

DICK GUMSHOE

• Yes, everyone should.
• So sweet, so loyal.
• Not to mention buff.
• A bit rough around the edges, but in an endearing way.
• Great with kids.
• Creative cook.
• Please treat him to some nice food and maybe let him move in with you soon so he doesn’t freeze to death at his place.
• Teach him to stand up to Edgeworth and his salary cutting ways.

EMA SKYE

• Who doesn’t want a mean gf who always has snacks on hand? I know you do, don’t lie to me.
• Watch her put men in their place.
• Listen to her drone on and on about science with that glint in her eyes. How precious.
• Prepare for astronomical Luminol expenses.
• 2000s fashion afficionado.
• Has a crush on her boss.

JAKE MARSHALL

• He’s cute but weird.
• Fake it till you make it.
• Needs therapy but chooses to self-medicate instead.
• A very dedicated LARPer.
• I wouldn’t, but you do you.

DARYAN CRESCEND

• There are many benefits to being a marine biologist.
• Rockstar, so there could be some cool adventures in store for you.
• Date him if you were into Andy Biersack when you were 12 but prepare for trouble.

BOBBY FULLBRIGHT

• A human golden retriever.
• So energetic.
• Weird grooming choices.
• A bit of a pushover.
• Go for it sometime before 2026. There’s still time.

GINA LESTRADE

• Tomboy with a cute dog.
• STREET SMARTS
• Will teach you how to pickpocket.
• So loyal.
• Bottles up her emotions.
• Go for it.

TOBIAS GREGSON

• Moodswings.
• Fears small children.
• Probably has clogged arteries.
• I would say never date a man with a moustache, but I’m not the boss of you.

Chapter Text

PHOENIX WRIGHT

• Your first kiss happens so casually it takes you a while to even realise it happened.
• Nick asks you to come to the Zoo with him and Trucy, finally deciding to introduce you to his daughter. You’re terrified but agree, hoping the girl will like you.
• It turns out you were worried for no reason - Trucy is the easiest kid in the world to get along with. She takes to you immediately, asking you question after question while dragging you from exhibit to exhibit. Phoenix is thrilled with the outcome.
• You offer to treat everyone to some ice cream and go to the nearest cart. When you come back Phoenix thanks you profusely, takes two ice cream cones out of your hands and gives you a quick little kiss so nonchalantly you barely even register it.
• You laugh about it later once Trucy is safely tucked in her bed. Nick apologises and teasingly offers you a mulligan, which you gladly accept.

MIA FEY

• You walk her to the train station one day.
• Mia decides to visit the Kurain village over the weekend after her Friday trial got postponed. You were meant to go on a date later that evening but she rarely ever gets the opportunity to spend a day or two with her sister and cousin nowadays and you couldn’t find it in yourself to be upset when she asked you to reschedule.
• You offer to take her to the station and she eagerly accepts, laughing about the idea of having a “mini station” date. That’s exactly what it is in the end - you arrive long before the train and end up getting some coffee from the vending machine and chatting on the bench.
• Once you finally see the train drawing near, you get up and say your goodbyes, opening your arms for a hug. She laughs and pulls you in for a kiss instead, leaving you flustered as she waves at you through the window.

APOLLO JUSTICE

• Trucy and you drag him to a Gavinners concert one day. Poor Apollo wants to die, but he can’t say no to either one of you. Besides, it’s only marginally better than spending another afternoon polishing the toilet at the Wright Anything Agency during a dry spell.
• He’s huffing and puffing all the while, the vein on his large forehead pulsating while Trucy and you dance the night away. You know he’s pretending not to like the music - you’ve seen his Spotify playlist after all. As it happens, Klavier got you some of the best tickets the venue offered and you happen to be eerily close to the stage. Apollo would rather die than let his rival/not rival see him rocking out to the Gavinners.
• “Come on, Polly! Are you going to be this grumpy all night long?” You ask, taking his face in your hands. He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “I can’t think with all this noise.” You laugh. How dramatic. “You’re meant to have fun, not think! Come here.” Somehow you get him to dance to the end of a song with you and you’re so happy to see him in good spirits you just lean forward and press your lips to his.
• “Ach, Herr Forehead! Even you can’t resist the heartwrenching tune of my ballads, ja?” A voice comes from the stage and Apollo freezes momentarily, blood draining from his face when he pulls away. He leaves the venue immediately after, Klavier laughing on the stage and Trucy and you chasing after him through the crowd.

ATHENA CYKES

• Happens during a date. She takes you out to do something involved, like laser tag or or paintball. You spend hours running around, shooting at the foes together, laughing and perhaps getting a bit too into it. The kids present fear you.
• You return your equipment after the session, Athena clapping her hands together. “Wasn’t that so much fun?! And what a great exercise too!” Perhaps exausting would be a better word, you think breathlessly. “What now? Wanna grab a bite?”
• “NOW YOU KISS ME!” Widget exclaims, momentarily turning red then yellow immediately after. You raise your eyebrow at Athena, who presently looks like she wants the ground to swallow her. “Your necklace wants a kiss?”
• “W-Well, not quite.”
• “No?”
• “No, I do.”
• You laugh, bridging the gap between you.

KRISTOPH GAVIN

• Kris takes you to his favourite high end restaurant, dressed in his finest suit, smelling of expensive perfume.
• It’s a perfectly pleasant evening and he makes small talk, lets you lead the conversation while he smiles sweetly.
• He spends a lot of the time looking at the piano player, but you brush it off. After all, the man is so bad it’s difficult not to stare.
• “May I kiss you?” He asks, just after your desserts arrive. You’re caught off guard momentarily, but agree. His kiss is short and sweet, tasting of grape juice.

RYUNOSUKE NARUHODO

• Happens immediately after his murder trial.
• You’re worried sick, waiting outside the courtroom. His predicament is difficult but Kazuma is there to take care of him which helps settle your nerves. As long as Ryu doesn’t do something stupid, all should end well.
• They exit the courtroom after what feels like hours and you immediately notice the wide, awkward smile on Ryunosuke’s face and the pleased expression on Kazuma’s.
• “You’re free?!” You run up to him, clasping your hands together. “Y-Yeah, I am.” You grab him by the uniform and pull him into your arms, kissing him without reserve in your moment of joy. Kazuma laughs and Ryunosuke is wide eyed and stunned, a blush creeping up his face.
• You thank Kazuma, pulling him in for a hug. “Don’t thank me,” he laughs, “My partner here handled his own defense.”
• “You did WHAT?!” You hiss, smacking his arm. “Ryu, you’re so irresponsible sometimes. Wait, you defended yourself and won?”

Chapter Text

MILES EDGEWORTH

• It happens spontaneously with Miles.
• You’d gone on a few dates already and he always walks you to your door, like the gentleman he is. When it’s time to say goodbye, he lingers for a moment, as if unsure how to proceed. He always flakes in the end, leaving you after an awkward hug and a face that matches the colour of his suit.
• One day you’re just at his place. It’s one of those lazy days when you order takeout and sit at home binging Steel Samurai. A funny scene comes on, something that leaves you both in stitches. It’s such a sweet thing, seeing him laugh so earnestly, some colour rising to his face. You lean over and press a kiss to his lips almost instinctively and he freezes for a second and so do you once you realise what you’d done. You apologise awkwardly, fearing you’d crossed a line.
• “What are you sorry for? I quite liked that,” Miles laughs. “At least one of us has enough courage to act.”

FRANZISKA VON KARMA

• Happens in the middle of an argument, most likely. Nothing serious, of course. You’re just bickering over something silly and Franziska gets a bit too smug with her comebacks. It annoys you to no end, seeing that smarmy grin on her lovely face. You stand there for a second, feeling an overwhelming urge to-
• “Why are you glaring at me like that? Just because I’m right doesn’t give you the excuse to act like a f-”
• Silence. Cut off by a kiss.
• She’s completely dumbfounded when you part. It takes her a moment to regain her composure.
• “Well,” she says eventually. “How foolish of you. Trying to win an argument through such underhanded tactics.”
• You keep on bickering.
• She kisses you not two minutes later when she realises her argument makes no sense and you gain the upper hand.

DIEGO ARMANDO/GODOT

• It’s the classic scenario with him.
• He takes you out for a cup of coffee one rainy afternoon. You sit at the coffee shop for hours, talking and laughing, enjoying each other’s company. It’s dark outside before you even realise it and he offers to walk you home. The conversation keeps flowing on your way to your place and you feel a pang of sadness when it’s time to say your goodbyes. You tell him how much you enjoyed your date and he just casually leans in for a kiss that lasts a bit longer than you’d expected. There’s no way your neighbours won’t gossip about it tomorrow.

KLAVIER GAVIN

• He texts you to wear something warm before your date. You’re confused but oblige.
• Klav shows up on his bike to pick you up and it all makes sense suddenly. “Come on, Schatzi, I’ll show you what a real adrenaline rush feels like.”
• He’s true to his word. He drives you around the city, the cool twilight air rushing past you and you feel more alive than ever.
• Eventually, he takes you to his favourite spot, a clearing overlooking the entire city. It feels surreal seeing all the city lights intertwine with the stars above. You sit on his bike while he stands in front of you, talking about something or another. It’s hard to say who leans in first, but soon enough you’re kissing. It’s your first kiss together, then the second and third and fourth…

SIMON BLACKQUILL

• You’re just fooling around at his place.
• Simon is a massive tease when he drops his twisted persona. He picks little fights and picks on you just to get you worked up. It’s a mixture of endearing and annoying.
• He puts on some stupid show you’re not interested in one bit. Neither is he, but he’d rather tease you about it than change the channel.
• “Give me the remote, Simon.”
• “Come get it, *insert dumb nickname*”
• You try and fail spectacularly. It’s just play wrestling, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s twice your size and can pin you down with one-fifth of his weight. Not that you mind.
• You’re both giggling breathlessly at this point. “Do you yield, miscreant?” He asks in his scariest prosecutor voice. Dumbass. “I yield, I yield! Just let me go!”
• “You must pay the toll first,” he deadpans, crossing his arms.
• “And what is the toll?”
• “A kiss, if I recall correctly.”
• You buy your freedom and he lets you up, handing you the remote and letting you curl up against him on the sofa.
• You pay his toll a few more times during the evening.

NAHYUTA SAHDMADHI

• You’re very hesitant to kiss Yuti.
• He’s a monk. You’re not even sure it’s allowed.
• You start wondering if you’d perhaps been misunderstanding your outings. They were clearly dates, you thought, but then again he could merely see them as you acting as his tour guide to introduce him to your culture. You’re very torn on the matter.
• On your way home from dinner, you pick up some dessert. Nothing fancy, just cupcakes from a local bakery. You eat them at your place while trying to explain the concept of Netflix and chill to him. It’s hard to say if he’s scandalized or intrigued.
• “These are so good! Would you like a taste?” You ask with your mouth full, perhaps overexaggerating your food-induced moaning.
• He gives you one of those sweet, gentle looks he’s known for. “Certainly,” he says, bridging the gap between you, pressing the softest of kisses to your lips. You’re confused by his actions but you’d be lying if you said you minded.
• “What was that about?”
• “Hm? Oh, that was a pick-up line, was it not? I’ve heard about those. Although I hear that one is usually used with flavoured lipgloss.”
• “Yuti, I was just offering you some of my cupcakes.”
• “Oh,” he seems a bit embarrassed now. “Do forgive me then.”
• “I didn’t say I minded. But you can’t just go around kissing people like that.”
• “I’ll jot that down in my ‘How to act like a native’ notebook.”

BAROK VAN ZIEKS

(Heavily inspired by my incessant bugging of @bailey-reaper from my main)

• It happens during his University days.
• Barok approaches you at a gathering, completely red-faced while Klint and Albert snicker within earshot. He asks you to dance with him in the most roundabout way possible, to the point where you’re not quite sure what he’s asking of you.
• You agree and are surprised at how good of a dancer he is in spite of his initial and apparent awkwardness. Must be those long, elegant legs.
• He takes you on a stroll after and you end up alone on a balcony. His initial nervous demeanour slowly melts away, although he’s still more than a little shy. You chat away and you even get a laugh out of him at some point. It’s one of your personal victories.
• It’s almost midnight when you are interrupted. “Ah, brother, there you are!” Klint van Zieks suddenly joins you on the balcony. His lips curl in a knowing smirk as he turns to greet you. “Mother has sent me to get you aeons ago! I’ve been looking for you all over. It’s time to leave. Say your goodbyes, and be quick.” He leaves then, giving you a moment of privacy.
• “I-I, hm, I have really enjoyed your company tonight. Thank you for the dance. I fear I must be going now.”
• “Wait,” you say placing your hand on his arm, half expecting him to recoil. He doesn’t. You get on your tip-toes and you can still barely reach his face. Thankfully, he’s already slouching. You press a quick, chaste kiss to his lips, hoping no one saw you. “Surely, you wouldn’t have left me without a kiss goodnight?”
• His face is burning now and he swallows. “Pray, forgive the discourtesy. How careless I am. I’ll bear it in mind for next time.” With that, he turns and leaves you.

KAZUMA ASOGI

• He walks up to you one day right as you’re about to head to your next class, looking pensive and excited at once. You know why, you’d heard the news. Kazuma had been selected for the student exchange and you were thrilled for him - no one deserved it more than he did. You just hoped you did a good job of hiding how sad you were to see him leave regardless.
• “I can’t leave you here without a proper goodbye. Leave your books, come on.” He convinces you to skip the rest of your classes and drags you away on an adventure as he calls it.
• You spend the day together, joking around, getting food and window shopping. Finally, you settle under the shade of a tree where you usually met up in secret. He babbles away about the law, the British Empire, his plans for the future.
• When he runs out of topics to talk about, he goes quiet, dark eyes searching your face. “Do you know why I stole you away today?” Stole? He’s so dramatic. You shake your head. “I don’t want you to forget me when I’m gone. Remember this day, and me and this.” With that, he gently takes your face in his hands and leans in, claiming your lips in a heated kiss. It’s so intense, you feel yourself burning under his touch. Tears prickle your eyes when you part. “I hate to so you go,” you whisper weakly and he gives you a sad, understanding smile. “I know. I’m so sorry.” You pull him into another kiss, lying down on the grass, hidden by the shade of the tree. You’re not about to let him forget you either.

Chapter Text

• Considering the fact you’d been actively trying for a baby, he’d probably keep track of your cycle. He’s surprisingly meticulous when he gets out of his himbo zone.
• Deduces you’re pregnant before you even figure it out.
• Herlock is absolutely over the moon. He loves being a dad, he’s such a soft boy, can’t wait to have another child in the house.
• Iris is so excited to finally be someone’s big sister.
• Herlock tries his best to indulge your every whim and craving, as ridiculous as he may find them. Catch him trying to come up with a dessert recipe that somehow incorporates pickles. Not that he can judge, mind you. This man eats soap.
• Reluctantly agrees to undertake less dangerous exploits for the time being. No explosions, no drinking random concoctions, no running headfirst into active crime scenes.
• He will try to science his way into helping you. Waltzes into your room with a vial filled with some suspicious-looking liquid claiming he invented a cure for your morning sickness. He most certainly did not. You know better than to drink it.
• Turns into a Ryunosuke-like shopaholic somewhere along the way. He comes home with a ton of new toys and baby clothes he picked up at his local pawnbroker’s a few times a week. You don’t need most of the stuff. He mopes around after you make him return the third crib he bought.
• Will massage any part of you, anytime, anywhere. Not quite proper, but you’re too sore and swollen to care.
• His name suggestions are ridiculous. More than a few are some variations of his name. You and Iris just sigh, looking through your book of baby names.
• The first time he feels the baby kick, he almost collapses on the spot. He may have raised a child before, but his fatherly obligations started after the child was born. In theory, he knows what does and should happen, but that doesn’t make him any less fascinated by seeing your body change and the life inside of you acting, well, alive. It’s hard to tell who’s more mesmerized by feeling the kicks, Herlock or Iris.
• Seeing the movement probably creeps him out a bit, but he’d never admit it.
• He’s still a needy boy desperate for your attention. Herlock’s just casually gonna curl up next to you, maybe lay down with his head on your stomach, and just demand to hear some praise. Tell him how well he’s taking care of you and how much you liked that gherkin doughnut recipe, even though it was inedible.
• In spite of that, he’s surprisingly selfless. He knows he can’t be the centre of everyone’s attention anymore, at least not for the next few years. Somehow gets over it. Takes a lot of caramel bars.

Chapter Text

• They agree on keeping their relationship a secret at first.
• It’s hardly more than a fling when they start seeing each other and they don’t want Iris to get attached to a new person only for them to vanish from her life.
• Herlock visits them under the pretence of investigating a case and they only come over while Iris is out or spending the night with Gina.
• Somewhere along the way, they unexpectedly catch feelings for each other. The fling turns into a full-fledged romantic relationship with mutual pining and respect.
• Keeping it a secret is exciting, but hardly practical and Herlock is sure Iris is starting to catch on that something isn’t exactly right.
• His excuses grow flimsier and flimsier.
• He’s unsure how to proceed - should he introduce his lover to Iris? What if she doesn’t like them? What if she grows attached and they break it off one day? Could he stand to cause the poor child more heartbreak?
• “Hurley, what’s going on?” Iris asks him one day as he’s trying to sneak out of their residence. “N-Nothing, my dear Iris! I’m merely going to a crime scene.”
• “This late?” The girl crosses her arms over her chest. “I’ve told you time after time, my dear girl, crime never sleeps!” He’s one foot out of the door when she offers to come along. “N-No, that won’t be necessary! I’ll be gone a while and you should go to bed soon.” Herlock practically runs out before she can respond.
• “Don’t you worry, my dear,” Herlock says as his beloved steps inside the cluttered living room, “We have the place all to ourselves.” They giggle, getting on their tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips.
• “Hurley!” A familiar voice reaches Herlock’s ears and all blood drains from his face. “I-Iris! You’re still here, are you?” He looks apologetically at the girl. “I can explain.”
• “Is that your… special someone, Hurley?” The girl asks, placing her hands on her cheeks as her blue eyes widen. Herlock nods awkwardly, “That’s one way of putting it, I suppose. I’m sorry for keeping them a secret from you, Iris. I feared how you may react.”
• His fear was in vain, it seems - Iris is all over them in seconds, offering them her finest tea blends and biscuits, asking question after question. Herlock almost feels jealous as he watches his favourite chocolate biscuits disappear without a trace.
• “Oh, Hurley, I’m so happy!” Iris says when he tucks her in that night. “You’re my daddy and now I can finally have a…” her sentence is cut off when tears well in her eyes. Herlock reacts much the same, blinking back the tears that threaten to spill any second now.
• “Yes, my dear Iris. I hope so.”

Chapter Text

KAZUMA ASOGI

• He’s heard about Halloween thanks to Susato’s tome of endless knowledge about the British Empire
• Doesn’t quite understand it fully, but is a good sport about it
• Enjoys the masks
• Always makes his own
• Would appreciate the chance to create some (anonymous) mischief whilst disguised
• Nothing major, just scaring a noble or two he dislikes
• Numb to weird dark stuff and jumpscares due to the time spent inside a bat-infested office
• Hangs out with Gina if there’s an event for the police
• Stuffs his face with the sweets

HERLOCK SHOLMES

• His favourite activity is without a doubt making costumes and decorations
• Goes above and beyond to make sure he and Iris have the best costumes and the scariest looking house, not unlike an American soccer mom
• Is a massive sceptic, but will indulge a seance or two under intense peer pressure
• Loves telling scary stories
• More excited about Halloween than any child in London

BAROK VAN ZIEKS

• Massive buzzkill
• Doesn’t wanna hear about Halloween
• If there’s a function or a masquerade he’s expected to attend he will, but he will hate every last second of it
• Just wants to go home and drink his wine
• The kind of a guy who puts on the thinnest eye mask he could find whilst wearing his regular clothes and calls it a costume
• Stares at Kazuma and Gina from across the room, hoping they get the hint and behave
• Misses being a child
• Mellows out with time when Iris starts inviting him to the Sholmes’ household Halloween get-together
• Still complains though
• Sholmes gets him drunk one year and convinces him to dress up as Grim Reaper and takes many, many photographs
• They don’t speak for near a year after

Chapter Text

• Unsurprisingly, Halloween is Herlock’s favourite holiday
• He finally gets to play dress up in a socially acceptable manner
• His disguises are always quite well made
• He is especially proud of his cat costume
• Also dressed up as a surprisingly convincing witch one year, the effort he put into his feminine disguises in the past paying out
• Herlock makes the costumes for your children as well, trying his best to fulfil their requests
• Other kids are always jealous of their elaborate costumes
• You like to handcraft your decorations each year
• Carving the Jack-o-Lantern’s is a mini holiday for the family
• Herlock gets quite cheeky with those
• One year he carved one with a striking resemblance to a certain prosecutor
• You found it smashed it not a day later, clearly stomped to pieces by a sturdy steel heel
• Herlock thinks it’s hilarious
• You hold get-togethers for your friends, an event that just grows in popularity over the years as whispers and rumours of the incredible decor, tasty food and great entertainment spreads throughout London
• Herlock’s scary stories are also popular, even if he just tells the same ones each year
• After the children are put to bed, you attempt to hold a seance
• These never work in spite of Herlock’s best efforts
• Is in the state of constant sugar rush from all the candied apples and roasted nuts he eats during the festivities
• Passes out in his costume on the sofa when the guests leave

Chapter Text

KLAVIER GAVIN

• Your passion for art is what made Klavier so attracted to you in the first place
• He is an artist himself, someone who approaches his creative process with a great deal of passion
• Klavier loves to hear your input when it comes to his projects and greatly values your constructive criticism
• He also eagerly reciprocates, giving you his earnest thoughts on his latest piece
• Klavier’s not the one to praise you blindly, so you know his compliments are honest and his feedback well-meaning
• You spend hours talking about your visions, bonding over your mutual love for art

SIMON BLACKQUILL

• Simon’s not much of an artist himself, though he may or may not destroy everyone at karaoke if you get him drunk enough during an outing
• He’s a nuisance when you take him to an exhibition, snorting at modern art pieces
• Was absolutely a theatre kid at school, will totally love going to see a musical or something of the like together
• He teases you when you get carried away ranting about your latest project or analysing something you’re watching together
• Absolutely enjoys hearing you talk about art though, even if he doesn’t understand everything, loving the passionate twinkle in your eyes
• If you gift him something of your own making, he will keep it forever and proudly display it at a prominent spot in his house or office

KAZUMA ASOGI

• Secretly pretty artistically gifted
• Have you seen those model crime scenes? Boy’s got talent
• You sometimes help him make one, enjoying the time you quietly spend working together
• Kazuma fully supports your work and gets pretty offended on your behalf should someone say something bad about it
• Will hype up anything you make, no matter how simple it is
• His side of the office turns into a mini collection of your pieces, much to Van Zieks’ annoyance

Chapter Text

DATING GREGSY: THE HEADCANONS

• Gregson is a bit rough around the edges, but he means well and cares deeply about you
• Great with children (usually)
• Fears children (sometimes)
• His work is pretty demanding so you don’t get to spend that much time together, but you try to at least come see him during his lunch break
• His salary isn’t much, so fancy dates are out of the question, often ending up with the two of you eating some fish and chips on a bench
• You worry about his excessive fried food consumption
• Sometimes you have to remind him to be nice to others
• He takes a great deal of pride in his work and loves how supportive you are

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BAROK VAN ZIEKS

• Barok will most likely blame himself for whatever serious injury his loved one may have suffered
• His reputation as the Reaper has made him the target of numerous attacks and assassination attempts for a number of years and he always fears these attacks will spread to his S/O
• Hearing his beloved has been injured makes him fear the worst to the point of dropping whatever he’s doing and rushing to their side
• Barok vows to make the miscreants who dared attack his lover pay for their crime, lamenting the fact that he wasn’t there to protect them and apologising profusely
• If it’s a minor injury sustained through some silly means, he may occasionally tease them about it

KAZUMA ASOGI

• If someone hurt his darling, Kazuma is out for blood
• He swears he will get revenge up and down, face red and his hand on Karuma’s hilt
• His S/O ends up having to calm him down and comfort him rather than the other way around
• Insists on taking care of them perhaps a bit overbearingly
• Kazuma brings them food in bed, fluffs their pillow, gives them massages, etc.
• A massive pain in the butt if it’s something caused by their own clumsiness
• He still feels bad and will take care of them, but God help him if he doesn’t let a decent amount of snark spill out

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• Ryunosuke and Susato sometimes notice Sholmes coming home later than usual or even being gone for the entire night. It’s usually on nights when Iris is with Susato, giggling away in Susato’s bedroom while poor Runo is forced to sit alone, looking at the prawns in the aquarium.
• They never ask Sholmes about his whereabouts, suspecting it’s either private business or some confidential detective work.
• Sholmes occasionally talks about his dear partner and they think nothing of it, assuming the detective is just reliving his glory days and recounting fond memories shared with John. H. Wilson.
• “I’m off, my dear Iris!” Ryunosuke overhears Sholmes one day by “accident” whilst walking downstairs. “I mustn’t keep my dear partner waiting a moment longer. They’re awfully sore with me still for being an hour late last Thursday.” Putting a hand over his mouth to stifle a gasp, Ryunosuke turns on his heel to quietly run back to his lodgings, eager to share his findings with Susato who scolds him for eavesdropping, but is more than happy to indulge in some gossip.
• One evening, there is an additional seat at the table. A person around Herlock’s age walks in and Iris practically jumps in their arms as a form of greeting, the great detective himself subtly pecking their cheek whilst taking their coat. Ryunosuke’s eyes widen and, surprisingly, so do Susato’s when they exchange a quick glance.
• Herlock refers to the person as “my dear” throughout the evening, which is nothing odd. Everyone’s dear to him, after all. But his voice is unusually soft when he says it aimed at them. “Uh, Mr Sholmes, forgive me for prying, but do you have a new investigative partner? Isn’t it a bit soon? I mean Mr Wils-OW!” Susato’s elbow sharply meets his ribs and Ryunosuke closes his mouth instantly.
• Sholmes laughs, “Oh ho ho, my dear fellow! It’s only natural to be curious! Why yes, this is indeed my darling partner. Hardly interested in investigating, my darling here, though their advice has been invaluable to me during some cases!”
• Ryunosuke and Susato exchange a glance again. “I’m confused,” Ryu declares, slouching his shoulders in defeat. “Oh, Runo!” Iris giggles, resting her chin on her hand. “They’re Hurley’s special someone.”
• Ryunosuke and Susato gasp in unison. Once back to their own lodgings, they engage in some heated gossip, propriety be damned. “Truth be told, I was unaware Sholmes was… capable of such things.” Susato sighs, thoughtfully placing a finger on her chin and looking away. “Honestly, so was I. I shall attempt to find out more from Iris when she visits me.”
• “Report back to me, won’t you?”
• “Mr Naruhodo! Where are your manners? I- Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I will.”

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• This is such a crazy dynamic.
• Franziska is a massive tsundere, Maya is… Maya and you are mostly just there for the ride.
• Does Franzy threaten you with her whip for calling her Franzy? Yes. Does she secretly enjoy it? Also yes.
• Eternal arguments over what’s for dinner. Franziska wants something fancy each night, Maya wants burgers each night, you just want to have dinner without WWIII breaking out.
• You decide what you’ll have in the end.
• People are pretty judgemental of your relationship and it’s not a surprise.
• Like, you’re dating a wacky spirit medium and an angry German prosecutor who carries a whip wherever she goes.
• The three of you are rarely ever together at the same time. Franziska travels for work, Maya attends training and channelling sessions, you have your own work you can’t just leave behind to be with them.
• You schedule video chats at least three times a week.
• I’m not sure how steamy 😳 times would work, but I’m sure it would be one hell of an experience lmao.

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• “Good morning, dearest. You look quite handsome today,” they repeat the few simple words without fail almost every morning before pressing a kiss to his freshly shaved cheek.
• It makes him flustered each time, a blush spreading across his handsome face as if he hadn’t heard the exact same words a thousand times by now.
• They enter his study a few times each day he works from home, bringing tea and biscuits whilst reminding him to take breaks. It would annoy him if anyone else dared interrupt his work, but when his loved one enters the room, looking so sweetly at him and singing him praise when he puts the case files down for even a moment, he can’t help but melt, revelling in their presence and sweet words.
• In the past, Barok had always considered “I love yous” to be something deeply intimate, whispered in the darkness whilst in the throes of passion. It takes a while for him to get used to hearing it over and over again throughout the day, for seemingly no reason. His loved one whispers the three simple words nonchalantly whenever they get the chance to and yet his heart beats faster each time he hears it.
• It pains him to admit how much he loves hearing it in bed. “You’re doing so well for me, Barok.” They murmur against his ear, making his blood rush south. “Such a good boy.” He could die happy then, knowing he pleased his darling.

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NAHYUTA SAHDMADHI

• Yuti is pretty much the same way, isn’t he?
• Sweet and soft-spoken at first, a bit of a bitch when you get to know him lmao.
• He finds their personality endearing and loves how similar they can get at times.
• Their favourite pastime as a couple is talking smack whilst looking angelic.
• He loves their confidence.

SIMON BLACKQUILL

• Simon is kind of the other way around, isn’t he?
• Bitch on the outside, quiet and gentle on the inside lmao.
• He loves it when their sassier side shines through.
• Like, totally loves hearing them stand up for themselves and put someone in their place, especially when it takes the other person by surprise.
• Even if that someone is him.
• Totally teases them until they tell him off.
• “Shut up, Simon.” “Make me.”
• That sort of a thing.

Klavier Gavin

• I feel like you’d need thick skin and a good amount of sass and confidence to survive in Klav’s world.
• The media and the fans can be ruthless, so he’d definitely be attracted to someone who’s capable of standing their ground.
• Has his doubts whether or not his quiet new partner is fit for the lifestyle until they tell a reporter off.
• Loves bantering with them.

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• In truth, neither Trucy nor Pearl were interested in going trick or treating with Phoenix that year - or at all, really.
• They’re at an age where Halloween is more about partying with friends than hanging out with their parents.
• Phoenix is sorely disappointed, sighing as he puts away the unnecessarily expensive costume he purchased for the occasion.
• They decide to have some pity on him and agree to go trick or treating as a family for a bit before going to hang out with their classmates.
• Phoenix is over the moon and somehow ropes in Apollo (who doesn’t know why he said yes) and Athena (who is more than eager to stuff her face with free candy after years spent in Europe where trick or treating isn’t exactly a massive thing).
• Maya comes to visit unexpectedly and is immediately down with any scheme that involves free food.
• People give you weird looks all night long.
• You’re a group of five adults and two teens who are old enough to trick or treat on their own.
• Everyone, even Apollo, ends up having a good time in the end and the candy is almost gone by the time you get home.
• Phoenix almost cries when Trucy and Pearl leave the gang to meet up with their friends.

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• Listen, Miles Edgeworth is as square and as preppy as they come.
• He does NOT get your interests no matter how hard he tries (and he tries hard, bless him).
• Doesn’t stop him from appreciating and admiring your entire aesthetic.
• He won’t wear anything you make him but will most certainly treasure it forever, keeping it all in a special box in his bedroom.
• You may find a shared interest or two in some dark anime/manga/comic book series etc.
• Will attend shows with you and be a good sport about it, but don’t expect him to mosh or anything.
• Hesitantly lets you put eyeliner on him and/or puts on an outfit of your choice.
• Refuses to admit he looks good in eyeliner and cat ears even though he totally does.
• Is kind of a dad about the whole thing.
• “You’re doing amazing, sweetie,” he says, having no clue what’s going on.
• Confused when the Hot Topic employee hisses at him.

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• You meet him during another one of his quick moneymaking schemes.
• He’s moping when you meet, grumbling about imminent death and doom, piquing your interest.
• You sit with him and let him lament his troubles for as long as he sees fit, gently stroking his shoulder all the while.
• When you part, you slip him some money and your address, telling him to feed that child he’s got at home and to come see you if he’s in need of work.
• Quite expectedly, he finds himself at your address soon enough.
• At first, you have him run errands for you and fix things around your home.
• Herlock’s incredibly grateful for your generosity, telling you as much after pressing an unexpected (yet not unwelcome) kiss to your lips one night after you give him a guinea.
• Your relationship turns physical after that, the handsome detective at your beck and call, eager to help meet all your needs.
• He earns every penny you give, treating you like a queen.
• You feel guilty for essentially paying to use his body so you use your influence to get him odd jobs that pay well in-between cases.
• He assures you he’s more than happy with your arrangement.
• “O ho ho, my dear madam! I assure you, I’ve done things infinitely more humiliating and less pleasurable in my time to put food on the table! Now, would you like a massage?”
• You’re so gonna catch feelings for that himbo, God help you

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• Listen, that man is too busy for proper love
• He has no time to develop a proper relationship with a fellow human being
• Probably views human relationships as transactional and cannot imagine having a lover who doesn’t want something tangible from him
• Which is why one of these arrangements is perfect from him
• He gets all his intimate needs met and knows exactly what you want in return from him
• There’s an evident power imbalance and everything that happens happens on his terms
• Still, I imagine he wouldn’t be bad in a relationship, you feel me?
• Like he’s very clear on what he expects from you - company, intimacy, sex - you’d be blissfully unaware of the darker side of him and I can’t imagine him being cruel to a lover
• To you, he’s just a handsome older man who values your company
• He probably opens up a lot more than he should at times, whispering his plans for British judiciary to you on nights when you stay with him
• You’re kind of his lover and therapist all at once
• He’s grateful for your company and makes sure you know it
• Like, you will live quite comfortably and have all your needs met as long as you don’t expect him to marry you or something
• You’re probably the only person who can make him lose the track of time
• As much as you appreciate his patronship, you’re not exactly surprised when his misdeeds are revealed
• Hell, you may even get some inheritance or something if you visit him whilst in prison

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• Listen, Manfred von Karma canonically has a granddaughter - therefore he has children other than Franziska
• There could very easily be multiple von Karma siblings running around, being emotionally constipated
• A younger sibling would probably be more accepting of Miles as their new brother (pretty much the way Franziska was) and going by Miles’ and Franziska’s assumed ages, they would practically be a toddler when Manfred kidnapped adopted Miles
• Franziska takes her role of the protective older sister VERY seriously
• Anyone messing with them would catch those hands and that whip
• If they were much younger, Franziska would be less likely to have a rivalry with them and take up more of a mentor role
• Miles is pretty chill with them the same way he’s chill with Franziska, showing his affection through small actions rather than through words
• Catch that nerd watching cartoons with them every morning
• Franziska teases him about it
• Both Miles and Franziska secretly enjoy the cartoons really
• They would both probably vibe quite well with someone who’s similar to them
• Like, neither one of them seem like they’d be big on being touched etc. so if their sibling was the same they’d get one pretty well
• Family therapy post Manfred’s arrest gang
• I just imagine Phoenix and the gang meeting them like “Great, there’s another one” as a tween dressed in weird anime clothing steps into the courtroom lmao

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• One of his favourite date activities is going somewhere where the two of you can dance, even if the opportunities for such things are few and far in between.
• He’s over the moon whenever he gets invited to an event or a masquerade - free food, gossip, and dancing! It’s everything a man like him could ask for.
• Herlock is expectedly quite good at dancing, his long legs serving him well on the dancefloor. It’s something he enjoys - the man dances around active murder scenes, for the love of God.
• He’s well versed in different dances and more than willing to teach you and help you practise if you want/need to. Doesn’t even mind if you step on his toes in the process, honest.
• Sometimes he just puts on a record and asks you to dance with him in his own living room after Iris has gone to bed. It’s always something slow during such evenings, a loving smile tugging at the corner of his lip when you press your body to his and take his hand.
• You start out doing a proper dance, following all the steps and twirling around the room. By the end of the track, you’re just lazily swaying to the music, his arm around your waist and your hands clasped behind his neck.
• He whispers his love to you over and over with uncharacteristically intimate words as you sensually move to the slow tune, foreheads pressed together as you exchange a series of kisses.