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“Okay, okay. I just have a list here and we’re going to go over this!” Steve yelled over the commotion of breakfast.
“This is ridiculous!”
“Don’t make me add anything to the list Robin!” Steve yelled.
“He really made a list.” Mike commented, laughing some.
“Hey, Wheeler, knock it off.” Steve yelled.
“Got it.”
“Okay, I am holding the maple syrup hostage until you all settle down!” Steve announced holding it over his head, “do I have everyone’s attention now?”
A series of “yes” came from the table.
“Good. Before we begin does anyone one have anything to say?”
“Can we be excluded? We didn’t get here until breakfast.” Nancy stated.
“I also have the same request.” Jonathan said.
“Do you want syrup?”
“Yes.” Jonathan answered.
“Then no, you’ll get your sticky fingers everywhere and then I’ll have to clean it, but you won’t have the kids to blame it on this time Byers. I am still accusing you of Thursday stickiness on the couch.”
“El had waffles on the couch! I told you!” Jonathan said.
“Really? How do you conveniently know that then?” Steve eyed him again.
“I told you she had them while you were driving the kids!”
“I find it suspicious.” Steve side eyed him.
“I can’t fucking win.” He threw his hands up in frustration while Nancy laughed next to him. Eleven raised her hand.
“Yes El.” Steve called on her.
“I had fun.” Eleven said with a smile.
“I’m glad, anyone else?”
“I also had fun.” Robin spoke next.
“I’m happy you let Eddie come!” Dustin said.
“I’m glad for both of those. Now get your defenses ready for this goddamn list I’m about about to read in regards to your behavior last night.”
“Here we go.” Max slouched against her arm on the table.
“To start with you Maxine,” he pointed stated her name, “you threatened physical violence no less than seven times last night, but there is one whom you threatened the most. Dustin!”
“And?” Max took another bite of waffle.
“You must apologize to Dustin.”
“Sorry.” Max said, dripping sarcasm.
“Like you mean it.”
“No, that’s the best you’re going to get.”
“That’s fair.”
“Hey!” Dustin said loudly to Steve in defense.
“She gets a pass,” Steve said to him an understanding tone, “now a good jumping off point, Dustin.”
“Yeah?” Food fell out of Dustin’s mouth.
“You almost told Eddie about the upside down, not once, not twice, but three times last night.” Steve took a large sigh and hit the notebook on the table, “Dude, you know how much paperwork that is! How much more paperwork if we tell someone! You know that! Is he that bad at Hellfire? If you are, we are reconsidering your after school activities, young man.” Steve began laughing at the end.
“You know you aren’t actually my mom right?”
“You want me to call Claudia? I can call Claudia.”
“No thank you.”
“That’s what I thought. Now apologize to the table.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thin ice Henderson. You’re on thin ice.” Max pointed at her eyes before pointing at him, Robin mimicked her.
“I said I’m sorry!”
“And we forgive you,” he looked at his list before muttering, “for now.”
“Lucas told Max and he wasn’t in trouble!”
“Really? Really you’re gonna go there?” Lucas said from the other side of Max.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Enough! Silence children. Now, Lucas.”
“What did I do?”
“I saw you punch Mike. Which, typically wouldn’t be an infraction, but I don’t have anything else I can pin on you, for the moment, someone might confess.”
“Is this about the vomit?” Lucas asked.
“Yes, what else would it be about! Yes, it’s about who threw up outside, but no one told me who it was. But you are the only history of eating candy until you throw up. That I know of.” Steve said to him.
“You have no proof.”
“That’s fine. Say sorry to Mike.”
“Sorry I punched you, and slapped you along side the head, and threw a spider ring on you to hear you scream this morning.” Lucas said to Mike while the table began laughing more.
“That’s who did it! Genius.” Robin said to him.
“It was you!”
“You scream like a girl, man. I couldn’t not do it.”
“Steve aren’t you going to make him apologize for that!”
“No, he already said he was sorry.”
“What the hell!”
“He did say sorry Mike.” Nancy commented to him.
“He did.” El agreed.
“Everyone is against me.”
“Now, at this point we need to bring up Mike’s crimes.” Nancy raised her hand, he nodded towards her as an indication to speak.
“Do you have a little quip for every single person on that list?” She asked him with a smile.
“He does, I heard him reciting it in the bathroom.” Robin commented.
“Robin, I wasn’t going to tell everyone.”
“Steve, it’s kind of obvious.”
“Okay. Robin, your infraction is not listening to authority?” He said it as a question.
“What authority? You think you have authority here?” Robin laughed some.
“Now Robin, just apologize to him. You have to stroke the male ego.” Nancy muttered.
“I don’t have to stroke shit.”
“Stop saying stroke.” Steve was laughing.
“Go back to yelling at Mike, it was more fun.” Robin said then.
“He was yelling at you though!” Mike whined.
“Back to Mike, I am going to be listing multiple days worth of infractions.”
“No one else has multiple days!”
“Yeah no one else pissed me off Thursday night.”
“You shouldn’t have lied to mom and you wouldn’t be getting scolded at the breakfast table by Steve.” Nancy remarked.
“You, one Micheal, I don’t know your middle name why don’t I know your middle name, I’m going with Oscar, you feel like an Oscar. You Micheal Oscar Wheeler, would not stop trying to make out with El when we were watching Wheel of Fortune on the tv. One show, I ask for one show and god dammit Wheeler I’m gonna get my one show.”
“You also watch Jeopardy!” Max commented.
“It’s the principle you little shits. So Mike apologize for Thursday and then apologize to the group for making me start this damn list because of you.” He could hear everyone laughing at him as he pointed at Mike.
“His middle name is Theodore, you know that Steve!” Nancy was cackling.
“I’m sorry, Mike, do you want my entire speech again?” Steve began laughing too.
“No thanks.”
“Okay, now apologize.” Steve demanded casually.
“I’m sorry to the group and to Steve for trying to kiss my girlfriend when we watched tv.”
“With everyone else in the room.” Will finally spoke up, rolling his eyes as he did.
“Thank you Baby Byers.”
“Is this when you say why he needs to say sorry?” Lucas was still giggling.
“No, Will and El are fantastic children.”
“What!”
“Unfair!”
“He made a snide comment last night!”
“Thank you Steve.” Will smiled at the table.
“Actually, one more infraction.” He heard protests, “say sorry for joining a DnD club without making sure it was okay.” It got quiet.
“Sorry Will.” Lucas said looking at him.
“We should have asked.” Dustin agreed.
“Sorry Will.” Will smiled at Steve and he smiled back.
“Eddie seemed cool guys, we should play a campaign today.” Will suggested.
“I’ll call Eddie!” Dustin smiled widely as he took off to grab the phone.
“Wash your hands!” Steve yelled in frivolous attempt to stop the spread of syrup.