Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I woke up stifling, feeling trapped beneath the heat of the navy quilt, like it somehow retained more heat than the sun. I could feel the sticky sweat on my skin, cursing my body for being such a warm sleeper but acknowledging that it was probably that, or hypothermia. The sun was barely visible through the thick grey clouds, and my apartment looked as bleak as ever. The walls, dull and grey, and full of holes; the floor creaked and moaned with every step. It was cramped, a studio apartment with the bed facing into the living room, and a small bathroom to the right. My back ached, feeling every beam of the wooden bed frame through the thin and lumpy mattress as I turned to look at the clock on the beat up dresser to my left: 10.43am, probably fine to get up. I signed, wishing I could stay beneath the top-hot-heat for longer. In my books, too warm beat too cold, and as I peeled back the thing quilt, I felt the chill in the air sting my skin. The bed creaked beneath my weight as I stood, the floor cold under my bare feet as I padded to the bathroom, still sleep addled. The shower hissed as I turned the knob before icy drops began to fall. I hesitated, working up the will power to get in. I gasped at the sudden sensation and felt every muscle in my body tense up. I grabbed the bar of soap and started scrubbing, hoping the suds would wash away sins from the night before. My mind wandered to last night as I moved down my body, past toned-turning-to-plain-skinny muscles and tanned skin. I worked in Club Trost as an “erotic dancer” (read: stripper), a club trying its hardest to be an upmarket smoking room for gentleman, but failing desperately due to dated leather stools and sticky tables that wobbled beneath room temperature whiskey glasses. It wasn’t what I had planned for myself at 21, but beggars can’t be choosers, and after my devout catholic mother kicked me to the curb when she saw me kissing Him, I certainly was a beggar. I had been majoring in Marketing and minoring in Business Analysis in UIL, met a nice man, and planned to move far far away. So far that the sharp tendrils of the Catholic Church and my family couldn’t reach me.

I was quick in the shower, only about five minutes. I pulled on the cleanest clothes I could find, just a plain white t-shirt (albeit wrinkled), some faded blue jeans and worn down black converse. I didn’t bother with a sweater or hoodie, growing accustomed to having the chill on my skin as my only company. Breakfast was simple, an over-boiled egg, and barely buttered toast. It was barely enough to quell the hunger pangs in my stomach, but it would do for my journey to Trost. It was a 25 minute walk, and so would be approaching midday when I arrived, just in time to help the opening shift guys set up for patron arrival at 1pm. The weather was classic Chicago in March, a grey cloud in the distance indicating an oncoming shower, and cool breezes moving lazily through the streets, unbothered by the hustle and bustle of city life. I probably spent more time at the club than I did in my house as I appreciated the company from the other guys other guys who by in large were nice enough. They were the best part about the club, and once you could avoid Mr Braun, the time between arriving and opening meant freedom from customers too. The nicest guy there was Marco. He often bought me breakfast because he knew my situation and had rich parents. He had short black hair, soft brown eyes and freckles. Too precious for this world. I still didn’t know why he was working as a stripper since he didn’t exactly hide his wealthy lineage. Maybe it was a rich kid rebellion. His boyfriend, however, was a completely different story. Jean; my worst nightmare. He was irritating and a better stripper than me, which killed my competitive side. Jean tended to scoff at my worn clothes  and lack of money, but Marco told him off and told me that everything would work out if I kept saving and letting him buy me breakfast. I hoped he was right, he was the closest thing I had to a friend, now that Armin wasn't around.  Reiner, or Mr Braun, was at the door as I arrived. Being the owner of a third rate club meant that Reiner spent most of his time feeling bitter and resentful, and he took it out on the rest of us. He had the capacity to be handsome, probably could have even been a suave business man in a different life, but here he was, surrounded by old maroon wallpaper and strobe lights. He looked at angry and menacing as ever as he stared down at me, his tall stature casting a shadow over my smaller frame. Bits of shaggy, unwashed blond hair fell into his golden eyes, which could have been dreamy if they weren’t glazed over from his famous Whiskey for Breakfast, Painkillers for Dinner routine. "It's not time for your shift," he grunted, scratching his stubble with his left hand. He was right, I wasn’t due in until 3pm for the middle shift, and he was probably thinking I was trying to get extra cash out of him by turning up early. I could feel every inch of his six-foot-two form disapproving my existence. I was used to it.

"I know, sir, but I thought I'd organise my dressing room and help the other guys get ready for the day shift. I hope that's okay sir." He narrowed his eyes and sighed deeply at me. His breath smelled smoky, from the stale cigarettes and cheap whiskey he siphoned from his own bar.

"Just don't get in my way, and don’t expect extra wages for turning up when I didn’t ask you to.” I took that as an order to disappear, so I walked past him with my head down, and practically ran down the dimly lit, badly painted hallway towards the dressing rooms. I saw Marco waiting in his room, fiddling with his glitters and humming to himself. He perked up when he saw me in his mirror.

"Eren! You're late, still want breakfast?" He flashed a grin at me, a simple appearing in his right cheek, and I felt myself brighten, his happiness was contagious. 

"I bumped into The Boss, he really hates me." Marco simply smiled apologetically, the dimple reappearing.

"He hates everyone in the beginning, he'll warm up to you eventually. You're new, you've only been here two months. And you stole Jean's favourite routine." I blushed awkwardly. When Jean had found out that I was assigned his favourite Donna Summer song I Feel Love, a twenty minute shouting match and borderline brawl broke out between us. Jean would only calm down when Marco rationalised that I didn’t want the routine, and when I pointed out that Reiner wouldn’t have given it to me if I didn’t do it better in the first place. From there, we developed a relationship that mainly involved respect, tolerance, and bitterness. But hey, it worked.

"Anyway, breakfast?" I suggested, trying to change the subject. Marco, ever sensitive and kind, realised and nodded. Jean continued pouting, however. Eventually, Marco managed to drag him along to the shitty diner that was only a five minute walk from the club. This was a routine of ours, and it worked as long as Reiner stayed in his office long enough to not notice we were gone. The owner was a short, guy named Connie Springer who was overly eccentric and loud. At first, with his silver buzz cut and feline like green eyes, he seemed scary, but in reality he was just quick witted and didn’t mind passing remarks at anyone who would listen. To say he had a bit personality was putting it lightly, very lightly. His fiancée, Sasha, helped out in the diner. She was one of the few working women I knew, but she was well suited to it. She, like her fiancé, had a very big personality. She was loud, in your face, and always hungry. The two made a very funny, and sweet pair. Apparently, Marco, Jean and Connie had gone to high school together, and had remained friends, even six years later.

We ordered our usual, mine a black coffee with a plate of bacon, eggs, beans and pancakes with maple syrup. It was a mix of my favourite foods, and Connie only charged $5.75. Jean also got a black coffee, but his breakfast was a ham and cheese omelette. Marco didn't take coffee, instead he got orange juice and a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. In total, it cost $19.69 excluding tips. I savoured the smell of bacon and grease mixed with fresh coffee, and savoured how the coffee burnt my tongue and filled my mouth with a bitterness.

We ate, mostly in silence apart from Jean's typical snide comments, and Sasha asking us how it tasted. We made it back to the club at for 12:45pm, and I helped Marco and Jean get ready, as well as making small talk with some of the other strippers. When it was opening time, I retired to my dressing room to read my battered copy of copy of "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". It was written by a Christian author, so my parents let me read it as a child. I clung go the yellowing pages and tattered edges and to the happier memories trapped inside them until it was time to get ready for my set. The music in the club was loud, pouring out through wall mounted speakers and filling every crevice with its deep thump thump and the sounds of clinking glasses and laughing men filled the remaining space. I knew that Erdou would have a break soon, based on the time. My eyes looked smudgy from the little bit of eyeliner I applied, making the sea foam colour pop. I tipped my head back on the back of my chair and stared up at the once white ceiling. There were patches of yellow in random spots from people smoking inside, and the walls had cracks in them. The room wasn't exactly lavishly furnished; in total, there was a clock, the wooden chair I was occupying, a small table covered with my clothes for shows and some books, a tired, dark green two-person couch with a significant dip in the middle, and a coat hanger by the door. The main downer was the heat, being a naturally very warm person. The heat in the club could be suffocating, making my skin itch and crave the cold of, well, anywhere else.

I heard the door the dressing room area open, and the music got momentarily louder. The door slammed shut, and a loud grunt was the next noise I heard. I stepped out into the open, empty corridor and found Reiner leaning against the door. He was pulling off his black heels when he looked up and nodded at me.

Reiner was six-foot-nothing, buff and broad all over. His hair was blonde, and his hazel eyes were narrow. He had a harsh expression normally, which gave away very little.

"Hey, Reiner. How'd it go?" He blinked slowly and scratched the back of his neck.

"Hi, Jaeger. Could have been worse. They're less hands-y when they're drunk." He started walking towards his dressing room, and he motioned for me to follow him.

Reiner’s room was identical to mine, right down to the heat. I stood against the door as he sat down and brushed his hair.

"Hey, could you pass me that shirt?" He asked, looking in the mirror at a white, creased shirt resting on the couch. I nodded and reached over, feeling the material of the couch brush off my stomach. Reiner nodded in gratitude and began to wipe off the sweat and makeup from his face with a baby wipe.

"I have a second job," he wasn't looking at me as he spoke, but I raised my brow in acknowledgment anyway, "it's in a café, near that video store, you know, the one with the donuts. Anyway, it starts in forty-five minutes." He continued talking as I slouched on his couch, closing my eyes and wishing the heat away. My skin felt hotter than usual, and my clothes felt too tight.

"I know the one. Never been though," I told him, stretching my arms across the back of the couch. I could feel the tension in every muscle of my body. I was exhausted.

"Drop by sometime. I'm gonna go, but take a nap. You look like you could use it." I peeked an eye open at him as he walked out and restrained the urge to say 'asshole, are you saying I look like shit?'

But Reiner was right, and soon after he left, I retired to my own room to nap before my set. My dreams were full of Him. I left Him when I left home, and two months later, the sting whenever I thought of his beautiful face or kind heart remained. Even his name was forbidden fruit in my brain, something I yearned for, but had to ignore for my own sanity. He was beautiful in every way. His honey coloured skin always smelled of lemons, eyes a beautiful forest green. His silky dark brown and sandy-blonde hair reached his chin, a perfect length to pull on. His lips were forever pink and plump. His laugh made my heart feel lighter, we'd never gone the full way, but I still remembered the feel of his hands all over my body. He was everything I wanted in a man, funny, caring, intelligent, and romantic.

In my dreams, I remembered our first kiss, on a rainy day after a marketing class. It was in an empty corridor, it was messy and our teeth clinked, but it was perfect. He cupped my cheek and held my waist and confessed his love for me. I remembered our first time eating dinner at my parents house, when they visited my grandparents with Mikasa. I lit all my mom's candles and we drank my dad's wine. After, we bathed together and cuddled with at least a dozen blankets on the floor all night. I remembered us in my room, unaware that my parents had arrived home. He was busy picking through my clothes, helping me pick out what to wear to a party that night. He said that I left all my good clothes at home once I moved into the dorms, pulling out dress shirts and crew necks. We were laughing about something stupid, and suddenly he was crawling on top of me, hands on my chest, lips on mine. And then it happened, I heard a glass smash as it collided with the hardwood floor, sending shatters everywhere, and my mother scream. He pulled back so fast, leaping off me, and off the bed that He almost got whiplash.

"What the hell is this?!" My mother screamed, her hand gripped in her brown hair, eyes wide with shock.

"Mom, please, calm down. I can explain. Just let Him leave, and I'll explain everything to you, please." I looked at Him, and nodded towards the door. He walked slowly towards the door, eyes glued to the floor, and I heard his steps quicken as he went down the stairs, the front door slamming behind him. My mother moved to my bed, looking down at me, tears beginning to flood her eyes and mine. My breath got short and a fog moved over my brain. I just kept thinking this can’t be real, this can’t be happening.

"What did I just see? Eren, why were you kissing that boy? What's going on?" I began hyperventilating, and we went on like that for a few minutes, until finally, I just screamed it at her. 'I'm gay!' And then there was uproar.

She screamed, and sobbed and begged me and God to make it all a bad dream, and when she finally accepted that it was true, fell to her knees and prayed for God to guide her through this challenge, and to make me see the light. I couldn’t bare to witness it, to go through whatever conversion therapy shit she was planning, so I packed a bag, with no idea where I was going or what I was going to to. Mikasa, my adoptive sister pleaded with my parents to stop this, to see it as God opening their eyes to a new experience, but it didn’t work. I didn't even get to see Him before I just caught the next bus and landed to the city. He tried to talk to me when I was handing back my dorm keys and officially dropping out of school, ans followed me to the on campus book store when I tried to return my books, but I just ignored him. It was too hard to see him, to look at him, to smell him. I knew one glance would undo me, be the final straw to break me, and I frankly was running on sheer adrenaline just to keep me alive. Marco calling my name causes me to jerk awake, sweating and panting. Marco being finished meant I was on in about 15 minutes until I was on, so I pushed the thought aside as I stood up, and rubbed my eyes to try remove the images from my mind, before they burned into the insides of my eyelids. Only a few more minutes until show time.

Another night in hell.

Chapter Text

It was Tuesday. Or at least I thought it was Tuesday, but there was a fairly good chance that it was Wednesday.

Shit, if it was Wednesday, I had to get to work. But maybe it was Tuesday, and maybe I could stay in bed for a little while.

Who the fuck was I kidding, knowing my goddamn luck, it was Friday and there was probably a mob of shitheads outside my fucking door. It was definitely Wednesday, I decided.

I rolled over in my bed, feeling the feathers in my pillow move under my head, and checked the time, 6:46a.m, of course. My militant body clock meant that I always woke exactly when it was time to get up. I waited one more minute, basking in the heat provided by my soft duvet, and the softness of the Egyptian cotton on my skin. Clean sheets: one of the worlds only pure pleasures. It was tempting to just stay here, ignore the outside world, and relish in the heat, but I knew that (a) I had a job, and (b) I couldn’t physically tolerate lying and doing nothing all day. I’d probably end up killing some shit-stain teenager. I lifted back the sheets and stepped into the slippers I left by my bedside. I was too old, and too grumpy to deal with cold floors, and I was always too cold anyway, no matter where I was or what I wore, I could never keep warm. People flinched when I touched them because I was so fucking cold, or maybe they were scared I’d punch them. Both are possible, really. Then again, I rarely touched people anyway so it didn't really matter.

I glanced towards the window, taking in the dreary grey Chicago landscape through the gap in the curtains, classic good ol’ Chicago. 

Ew, did I just say good ol''? Fucking disgusting. I really was old. 

With another sigh, I turned on my heels and straightened the bed sheets. Only criminals and animals don’t made their bed in the morning. 

By the time I managed to actually get out of bed and leave my bedroom, it was 6:54a.m, and if I didn't shower within the next five minutes, I was going to be late. It situations like this, some may neglect to shower in favour of timekeeping, but oh no, if I didn't shower, I would spend the entire day feeling unclean and itchy, and just horrible. That was not an option, not today, not tomorrow. Never. But being late was also not an option, so I had to move fast. 

I wasn't in the shower long enough for it to get hot, just enough time to scrub my skin with lavender and sandalwood scented soap. Its soft and woody aroma filled the bathroom as I got out and dried my pale skin with a fresh white towel, and changed into my blue short sleeved shit and navy pants, and grabbed my policeman's hat so that I wouldn't forget it - not that I would ever forget anything anyway. Breakfast consisted of a black coffee, and some plain cereal. I made the coffee fresh, and the smell of the dark roast beans with a hint of caramel filled my kitchen. It was approaching 7.15am, and as always, I would make it to work on time.

My journey to work was short, about a ten minute drive in usual early morning traffic, driving a Ford Crown Victoria, complete with sirens and all. That particular Tuesday, it only took eight, which either meant I'd have a really good day, or that the roads were quiet because everyone was busy committing crimes. It was now 7:25a.m, I was five minutes early, or what I like to call, actually on time Making a second black coffee in the station's kitchen, I decided, would be a good way to spend those five minutes, and I could be comfortably seated at my desk by 7:30a.m. So that's what I did. The coffee in the station wasn't as good as my own at home. It didn't come from an independent roasters or have any rich aromas, but it had caffeine. At exactly 7:34a.m, Hange- aka Shitty Four Eyes came bursting into the station, she was loud and obnoxious as always.

"Levi!" She screamed, bounding towards me, her brown shaggy hair a complete mess and her uniform buttoned incorrectly. She was supposed to have her hair tied back, and her hat at least somewhere on her person, but most days we were lucky if she remembered her glasses and could actually fucking see for the day.

"What do you want, Shit Face?" She giggled, and proceeded to lean over the desk to aggressively wrap her arms around my neck. I could feel her glasses frames poke my collarbones. I was too early to be this annoyed, it was too early for Hange, it was too early to deal with whatever news she was about to deliver.

"Erwin wants you to patrol the dangerous, crime plagued streets of Chicago today. He thinks you need to work on not scaring the public! Now off you go! Shoo, shoo." I groaned loudly and tipped my head back onto the edge of my chair, before pushing back from my desk and standing.

"Right, fine. Any particular reason?" I asked, stretching. I wasn't sure why I bothered asking, I never got a straight answer out of Hange when I asked her anything. 

"There have been a few robberies in a convenience store recently. He just wants you to keep watch. How exciting. Don't be unnecessarily mean to any upstanding members of society!" She sang, and then she hopped off of my desk and disappeared.

Great, I had to walk around all day and do literally nothing. That's exactly what I'm paid to do. I groaned once more, and downed my coffee before leaving the station. I didn't mind getting a break from the dreary grey walls, but it was still cold out, so I would need to go home to pick up a jacket. Driving back to my apartment would have been a good idea anyway, I could just leave my car there, and patrol near this damned convenience store.

Wait, Hange never told me what it was called. Great, I'd have to find Erwin and ask him. He would have been here, he always came in ridiculously early, and loomed around with his stupid fucking eyebrows casting shadows on the place. I strolled towards his desk, peeking behind the fake, plastic walls. Indeed, he was there, seated comfortably at his desk, filing through some papers, probably just doing his best to look busy. He was the only person with personal effects on his desk, including a picture of him, Hange, and I in the academy. What a sentimental dork.

Erwin was huge, over six feet tall with hugely broad shoulders, and bulky everything else. He had dense sandy blonde hair and eyebrows. Some would call him attractive. I just called him fucking annoying. Hanje sometimes called him Dad. What a fucking weirdo. 

"Ah, Erwin, what's the name of this convenience store you want me to watch?" He looked up it me. It was one of the few times he looked up at me, considering how he towered over me usually.

"Levi, good morning." His voice boomed, as always. "It's called Riley's, it's near the park. Just make sure there's no trouble. Teens nowadays, huh?" He smiled one last time before turning back around and continuing his work. I took that as my signal to leave, so I turned on my heel, and left. 

The cold air bit at my skin through my uniform, making me shiver as I walked towards my car. I could feel my eyes water, and I regretted not taking a jacket with me that morning. A couple more guys pulled into the carpark and I reached my car, they shouted a greeting at me, and I gave them a nod and a stiff wave. I heard them shut the door into the station just as I unlocked my car.

Kids were robbing Riley's? They must have been running out of creative ways to look cool in front of their friends. I sighed as I climbed back into my car, and took off down the street. My apartment was only a two minute walk from Riley's, I often bought cup noodles from there for when Hange would invite herself over and raid my cupboards. She was insatiable, so cheap, college student food was good to have on hand. I'd rather die than let her wolf down any of my actual food. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the hand break, quickly went inside to grab my jacket, and headed towards Riley's. I decided to get a coffee and walk around for a bit, see if anything happened. And if not, I was going to kick Pixis in the nuts, hard.

My coffee cost $1.15, which sucked because it tasted like shit. And also, three coffees by 9am? It was like I was begging my hear to just burst out of my chest and end my suffering. At least the cup warmed my hands as I walked the empty streets. Most stores were still closed, but by 10a.m, everywhere was open, and the sun had begun to shine through the clouds, and more people came spilling into the park, as if they had been dragged forth by the suns rays. And by fuck, if any of them were drunk, I was so not bothered dealing with their sorry asses. 

Cop of the Year right here, am I right?

It was when I heard someone laugh and shout, "Hey! Look! It's a really short cop. Don't they have to be a certain height?" that I started to get annoyed. I turned in the direction from which the comment came and found my worst nightmare; a bunch of teenagers, with backpacks walking towards a park bench. I groaned and ran my hand through my hair before following them. They hadn't noticed me yet, which was good. However, when I was fairly close, I heard one of them whisper 'shit'. Yeah, you're fucking right to be afraid. 

"Problem, kid? I heard you making comments about my height." The worst part was that I was staring up at them. Fuck my fucking height. The boy still cowered though, because even though I was short, I was pretty damn scary when I wanted.

"Eh- um- I- No officer. Um, there- there's no problem over here." His eyes flicked from side to side, as if he was begging one of his friends to come to his rescue.

"What's wrong, can't get a sentence out? I know you don't have a stutter, loudmouth. Shouldn't you be at school? What school do you go to?" His eyes widened in panic, and looked towards his friends again. This time, a big red haired guy spoke.

"We go to Sina High, officer. We have an appointment though, that's why we're not in school." I knew he was lying, he wouldn't look be in the eye and he was sweating. And come on, what sort of appointment did all five of them have to attend? Gang bang at the dentists office?

"Well, if that's true, you won't mind me getting someone at the station to call the school and double check?" The read haired kid just swallowed, no one said anything, so I took that as a chance to continue. "I know you're lying, and that pisses me off, but because I actually have something to do, I'm gonna let you off easy. Get your asses back to school, <em>now</em>, and we won't have a problem. Alright? Scram." They took off so fast, I couldn't even shout something explicit at them. Teens pissed me the fuck off, was it so hard to just stay in school for a few hours? Jesus. Grumbling, I turned and walked towards a empty bench which was close to Riley's.

There didn't seem to be a problem, and the place seemed pretty empty. 

It was a fairy small store, and it only had four short isles, one freezer, one fridge, and a tiny deli with pretty funky looking meat. I couldn't figure out why people would steal from it, and what they got from it. I sank lower on the bench and stared forward, watching people go by. They probably thought I was a freak, a cop slouching on a park bench, looking at a convenience store? Yeah, weird. I stayed like hat for another little, until I saw someone who looked pretty cautious walking towards Riley's. I sat up, placing my elbow on my knees, steel eyes narrowed and alert. The girl, blue hair, milky white skin, probably around 16, and wearing a black pair of leather shorts and a Guns n Roses muscle t-shirt walked into the store. She didn't do anything for a minute, except look around as if she was an animal being hunted, but then I saw her pull out a wallet and begin counting change. As she was counting change, a fairly ragged guy entered the shop behind her. He must have only been in his early twenties. 

I decided that going up to him wouldn't be the worst idea, so I lifted myself off of the bench with a throaty 'huhk'. The man had entered the store by the time I reached the entrance. I walked after him, hands in my pockets, and stopped right behind him as he was picking up some bread. 

"Hey, can we talk for a second?" He turned around, and then markedly looked down to me. Prick, not everyone can be six foot. He looked frightened. I sucked in a deep breath when our eyes met. Holy fucking shit, he was gorgeous. His eyes were sea green, wild and currently panicked. He had a mop of messy brown hair, neither short nor long. Perfectly tanned skin stretched across a toned body, and as previously mentioned, he was tall too. He was slim, as well. The only problem was his clothes. They were creased, and clearly not the cleanest. Obviously the kids wasn't doing great. He cleared his throat suddenly, and I was brought back to the real world. 

"Um, yeah, yeah, sure." He muttered. His voice was gorgeous too, silky and deep and warm. "What can I help you with?" 

"There have been a few robberies in here recently, and I just want to make sure that you intend on paying-" 

"What?! Oh my god, this is because of how I'm dressed, isn't it? I would never steal, promise. My family kicked me out- it's a load of drama-"

"Hey, kid, calm down. Just tell me your name, and your age. Then pay for your stuff, and I'll leave you alone." He eyes were slightly teary, but he took a deep breathe and answered me. Did I need to know his name and age? Of course not, but the uniform meant I knew he'd answer, and I absolutely needed to know his name. 

"I'm Eren Jaeger, 21. I'm only here to buy some bread, cereal and milk. I swear." I was about to respond, when the cashier let out a shout.

"Hey, you! Get back here, you didn't pay for your stuff!" He shouted. 

"I've got it!" I yelled as I ran out of the store, chasing the blue haired girl. Fuck, I shouldn't have gotten distracted with Mr Sex On Legs She ran down the street, looking back at me every so often to make sure I was still behind her. I sped up as she turned a corner, loving the feel of the wind rushing past me, and beads of sweat beginning to form on my skin. Onlookers were bewildered as the two of us darted through gaps in the hoards of people on filling the streets. I chased the girl for a solid five minutes, down streets and around corners, pushing many a civilian out of the way- until she finally fell after colliding with a middle aged man, who disappeared as soon as he saw me approach. I leaned over the girl and pulled her up by the arm. 

"Come on. You're coming with me." I told her, gripping her arm. She looked disgruntled, all she had taken was a stupid magazine and some chips. What even was the point? 

By the time we reached my car, she was crying. I didn't say anything to her, and she remained silent apart from the occasional sniff. She didn't protest as she got into my car, by the time we reached the station, I had nearly forgotten she was there. She had stopped crying, as well. Once we arrived, I slid out of the car and opened the door to the back. 

"Come on, inside, I'll take you to one of my colleagues, who will call your guardian. Then, they'll come down here and pay a bail. Okay?" she didn't say anything, and I didn't expect her too. Though the silence was beginning to piss me off, the only females I ever hung around were loud and annoying (Hange). I smirked to myself, imagining Hange sitting quietly in the back of my car, instead of doing the usual, 'Levi slow the fuck down, you're a cop, you can't break the fucking limit! Oh my god, we just passed a waffle place. Turn around, turn around!'

I brought the girl inside and left her with Hange and Erwin (since he gave me the stupid fucking assignment) - which was possibly worse than any punishment her parents would administer. It was still early, only roughly 11a.m, but no one would really care if I took my lunch early. So for the second time that day, I slid into my car and drove back towards my apartment. It was still sunny, miraculously. I turned on the radio to hear Purple Rain playing. It was one of my favourite songs, so I turned it up to nearly full volume. I let down my window as well, and put my left arm out, feeling the sun warm my pale skin. I did that a lot, whenever I wasn't overly pissed off at something (which was rare), or whenever it wasn't fucking freezing (again, rare). 

As I drove, I thought about Eren. The kid was hot as hell, like I'd really like to fuck you, purely because you're one of the most gorgeous people I'be ever met and I'm eager to here what it sounds like when you moan and scream because your voice gets me going' sort of hot. Clearly I needed to listen to Hange and go get some because this was ridiculous. But that Eren kid, I'd gladly bone him. 

I forced myselff to think about lunch. There were a few diners and cafés in the area, all of which I had visited numerous times. Connie's was pretty good and cheap, and there was a possibility that they were still serving breakfast. It was fast nearing 11:30a.m, so I decided it best to drive straight to Connie's. 

I often daydreamed while driving, looking aimlessly out the window at the passersby. Most of the people walking on the pavement were either grunge-y teenagers, or pretty normal adults. The people passed by in a blur, but the the cards in front of me all slowed to a halt, and I turned my attention to the pedestrians around me. I didn't recognise most of the people walking- or cycling, but then I saw a shirt that I knew. Either I was so horny, I was imagining Erin, or it was really him. Snapping out of my daydream, I craned my neck to look out my window. I was right, I had seen that shirt already today. It was Eren, walking by as I was driving to get breakfast. 

"Eren!" I shouted out the window, traffic unmoving. His head whips around, and his eyes widen when he sees me. "Come here!" He looks perplexed, but walks over to the curb anyway, stopping down low to meet me at eye level. Those eyes, damn. 

"What can I help you with officer?" He asks timidly. I smirk at his shyness, at he starts to blush ever so slightly. The lightest dusting of pink across his cheeks. My brain shorted at the sight of him, and I didn't have complete control over what I said next but it worked out pretty well in the end.

"I'm going for lunch. Hop in." Eren looked bewildered at that. I almost laughed at his expression, but I wasn't the laughing type. More of an evil-looking smirk kind of guy. 

"I really couldn't, thank you for the-"

"Get in the car, Eren, you could use a decent lunch. Let it be my apology for this morning." I could see him warring with himself. His eyes were creepily expressive, like some sixth sense shit. He didn't argue this time, instead just walked across to the passenger side of the car, squeezing between the cars in the other lane, and climbed in silently.

"So, where d'you wanna go? I was going to go to Connies, but I'm not to pushed." I looked over at him, seeing a smirk in his eyes instead of on his lips. "What's so funny?" I asked, looking at him properly.

"Nothing, it's just that I usually go there for breakfast with some friends. Sounds good." I nodded, and eventually the traffic got moving.

"Do you have black shades?" Eren randomly asked, breaking the silence as we neared Connie's. I looked over at him confused, but I nodded anyway.

"Yeah, why?" He burst out laughing at that. What a sound, smooth and low, and borderline melodic. "What?" I asked, confused, glancing between him and the cars ahead of me as I indicated left.

"That's so typical of a cop. Put them on." I smirked at this sudden change of attitude, but reached down to the pocket by the steering wheel where I kept the black sunglasses and put them on anyway.

"Happy?" I asked him. He was, I could tell by his sudden gasp, and the return of that slight blush.

'Oh yeah' I thought, 'I'd gladly bone him'

Chapter Text

I had officially had the weirdest day. First, an extremely hot police officer accused me of stealing from a convenience store when I was buying bread, then on my way home, I bumped into one of the regulars at the club who wanted to take me out for coffee. It was a nice gesture and everything, but in actual daylight, the regulars look a lot creepier and older than they do under the clubs dim shades. As I was trying to run away from him, pretending I had a doctors appointment (and he fell for it? Wow), the extremely hot police officer appears in his fucking cop car and tells me that he’s buying me lunch. Weird? Weird. 

So there I was, in a police car on my way to lunch with a beautiful police officer. And I mean beautiful. Did I mention he's fucking gorgeous? He was short, about a head shorter than me, with milky white skin and jet black hair with an undercut that I desperately wanted to run my hands over. He wasn’t what you’d call buff, but he obviously worked out, as his muscles were clear in defined in his navy police uniform, and his steel eyes always had a look of concentration in them. The lurch in the bottom of my stomach when I looked at his felt foreign. I hadn't felt like this since before Him. It was strange to acknowledge that I was attracted to this random man, especially one who accused me of theft, but there it was. I fidgeted in the car seat, not liking the avenues my brain was exploring. 

Roughly two minutes from Connie’s, I broke the silence by asking him if he had black sunglasses. He laughed so I took that as a sign to keep with a soft and simple ‘hey'. Levi responded by silently turning towards me.

“Yeah?” He said, but his intonation indicated that it was more of a question. He was now wearing his black sunglasses and damn, they suited him. 

“You never told me your name.” I was shy about saying, as if I felt bad that I didn’t telepathically learn his name. He let out a small laugh at that-or at least I think it was a laugh. It sounded like a slight grunt coupled with a content sigh.

“It’s Levi. Or Officer Ackerman in you feel like being kinky.” Levi looked at me over his sunglasses, and in that moment, he looked so damn good wearing those shades, smirking at me. He had one hand on the wheel, the other was out the car window. He looked really good driving, I decided.

Once we reached Connie’s, the sun began to fade as clouds took its place in the sky. Levi and I walked in silently and Levi led me to a table at the end of the diner, away from the other customers. I couldn’t see Connie himself, so I figured he was in the kitchen with Sasha. I was right, a minute later he came out to the counter. A grin erupted on his face when he saw me.

“Mr Jaeger, the best customer-yet he never pays!” I laughed at Connie, and waved him over to the table. With him, he brought two menus and a jug of water.

“It’s weird to see you in here without Marco and Jean, with a cop! Don’t let the big man in Trost find out.” He whispered the last part, winking at me. “Not working today, hey? Anyway, gentlemen, we’re still serving breakfast, but feel free to get whatever you want off the menu. Oh, I never caught your name Officer…”



“Ackerman.” Levi replied curtly. Connie got the message that he wasn't wanted, so he saluted Levi while grinning cheekily, and walked back to the counter as Levi picked up his menu.

“You come in here a lot?” He asked, looking over the menu at me with curious steel eyes.

“Oh, yeah. I come here with two of my friends from work. They buy me breakfast because, well because Marco’s a nice guy and Jean is his over protective boyfriend. Connie knows the two of them from high school.” I said, praying that Levi wouldn’t ask me what I worked as. The club was completely illegal, if cops found out, I’d be out of the job and found dead in my apartment, cause of death: Angry Alcoholic Man. Of course, I wasn’t that lucky.

“What do you work as?” Levi asked casually, though I could tell that he was actually trying to suss me out. I panicked for a second, but I took a quick breathe and looked up at Levi, smiling.

"Oh, it's nothing really. Just in a quiet bar a little outside of town. You wouldn't know it." I felt butterflies in my stomach as soon as I said it, he knew I was lying, and I could tell because he raised an eyebrow and looked at me with those steely eyes, but he didn't push it. Connie came back to our table a few minutes later and took our orders. Levi ordered breakfast-bacon and waffles, and I got a grilled cheese sandwich with fries and soda. I let myself daydream as Connie returned to the kitchens to give Sasha our orders. In the back of my mind, I heard her boisterous laugh and the clinking of cups and plates around us in the diner, but those things didn't really bother me as I wondered about my current situation. Levi was a police officer, and I was a stripper. We were currently eating together because Levi wanted to apologise for what happened this morning. I knew that this wasn't anything serious, but I felt a longing in my for something more, and then strong panic at the longing. I knew that in no way, shape, or form, I was ready to embark on any sort of relationship, but I could enjoy looking I suppose. I was still completely heartbroken, there was no denying that. But maybe I just felt lonely, and wanted someone around. Or maybe I was just mistaking my physical attraction for Levi . I tried not to dwell on it, but I didn't really need to try, as the next thing I heard was Levi calling my name.

"Eren, oi, Eren. You brat, would you listen?" I looked up, blinking back into the real world, to see Levi looking at me, his brow creased.

"Oh, sorry Levi. I was daydreaming. What's up?" I asked, faking some of my optimism.

"I was asking you where you live, so I can drop you off when we're finished." He said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. For a very slight second, I thought I saw concern flash in his eyes, but it was gone as soon as I saw it.

"Uh, I live in the apartment block near the park. Stohess Apartments." Levi's expression very clearly showed what he thought of my address. Stohess Apartments were known for being shit, and for being cheap. Both of which were true. He quickly regained his composure as soon as he realised he was making a face.

"Okay. I have to get back to work after, that's all. You not working today?" He asked curiously. My heart began to beat a little faster, but I remained cool.

"Well, I work at night. But yeah, I am working tonight.” Our food arrived before Levi had a chance to respond. We chatted a bit more, and I learned things like his age; twenty-nine, and that he had a friend who’s name was Hange, and that she was way more fun than him. He also told me that he has no siblings and that he’s single. My heart jumped a bit at that, but I forced myself to calm down. I also told him about me, how I have one adopted sister; Mikasa, and that my parents forced me to drop out of college, and hence move out of my dorms when they found out my sexuality. He didn’t ask for more information than that, so I didn’t say more.

”I’m gay too.” Levi said, when we were both nearly finished eating. I choked on my overly full mouth of fries, but managed to survive after many mouthfuls of water and soothing pats on the back from Levi.

”Sorry, sorry. You surprised me is all. Uh, I didn’t expect that.” Levi did the grunt-sigh-maybe-a-laugh thing again and took another bite of his food.

”What? Because I don’t wear panties and I haven’t tried to hump your leg yet?” I could tell he was kidding, but he hit dangerously close to home. My job was wearing panties and humping peoples’ legs. But I couldn't take it personally, he didn't know what I did for work. We continued to make small talk until we finished. Levi paid for our meals and we left, it was all sort of anti-climatic.

On the journey home, the care fell quiet and I busied myself by looking out the window, watching people going about their days. 

”Everything all right over there?” Levi asked as he drove. He only glanced at me before looking back at the road.

”What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just thinking. Sorry.” Levi eyed me curiously, but didn’t push it.

”I’m glad you’re not driving anyway.” Levi joked, with a smirk. I gave a short laugh, trying subtly to take a glance at Levi. He was curious, to say the least.

Too soon, we arrived at my apartment block. Levi stopped right outside the front door, and my stomach felt weird when he looked at me, eyes soft.

”Well, kid. It was nice to meet you. Anyone ever accuses you of stealing again, just let me know, okay?” He was joking, again, but I let myself believe that he meant it.

”So, is that it?” I asked I regretted it the second I said it. For a moment, there was silence, a deafening silence. The type that makes you feel an insane pressure all around you, the air gets thick and there’s a ringing in your ears.

”I’m,” Levi replied, and the paused, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” He finished carefully. He was looking at me now, eyes hard and concentrated. They went from steel to a glittering silver. It was enchanting.

”I’m not sure what I mean either. Forget I said anything. Thanks for the food, Levi. See you around.” I unbuckled my belt and went to climb out of the car, but suddenly Levi was gripping my wrist, pulling me back into the car and forcing me to hit my head off of the roof.

”Ow, ugh.” I sighed, rubbing my head. Levi said nothing. “Look, Levi. I meant nothing by it. It’s just, well, you seemed to be sort of flirting with me, and you took me out to lunch, and I just misinterpreted that a bit. It’s because of personal stuff, seriously.” Levi looked perplexed at that, but sighed and ran his hand through his hair once he caught onto what I was saying.

”Sorry, kid, if I led you on or whatever. I get that what I did sort of implied that I was interested, but I’m not, not in that way. I’m not an idiot, anyone can see that you're gorgeous, but I was just in a good mood, and I saw you and thought, ‘hey, I’ll take him out to lunch!’ I’m sorry if you got hurt because of it.” There was silence for a minute, Levi was still holding on to my wrist. My skin felt hot beneath his. His skin was softer than I expected. I pulled away and looked down, hiding my face.

”Forget it, Levi. Forget I said anything. Honestly.” I went to climb out of the car, and for the ground to open up and swallow me whole, and as I was closing the door, I heard Levi say one more thing.

”It’s nothing personal, Eren. I just don't date.” The door was already closed before I could respond, and Levi was speeding down the road

”Bastard.” I muttered as I walked into my apartment building.

~*~

That Friday, I was still feeling slightly melancholic about Levi. I had told Marco, but made him promise to not to Jean. When I told him, his eyes went soft, and he smiled a sympathetic smile. His only comment was, ’Oh Eren, don't worry. You’ll find someone, you will.’ While our chat had made me feel better, the sting of rejection was still present whenever I thought about Levi.

Nevertheless, I thought, life must go on. The club was busy that night. Even from my dressing room, I could hear the music pounding, the men laughing at hollering at the dancers, and the clinking of glasses. I groaned when I heard my name on the intercom, signalling that it was my turn to go on stage. I walked slowly, but steadily in a pair of glitter heels that belonged to Bert. He had given me a loan of them that day. I pushed the heavy stage door open and strut out. Instantly, I pulled my biggest, fake smile, standing with one hand on my hip, the other in the air. The men screamed. I was known for being the bashful one, so I slowly walked onstage, laughing and blushing and waving at the men. There was more screaming and catcalling once I reached the pole. I did the usual, twirling and dropping around the pole. Everything was going fine, money was being thrown at me, and I managed to make my way off stage, now dancing around tables and dropping into mens laps. I saw a woman in the back, which was a first. She wore glasses, and messy brown hair, tied back in a ponytail, and was wearing a plain black t-shirt with jeans. She was with someone, but I could only see the very top of their head as were blocked by the man at the table in front. Must have been fairly short. I strut my way over, stopping at random tables on the way. It was when I heard the lady speak that my heart dropped.

“Levi! Look, he’s coming over!!” No. No. No, no, no. NO! Surely not. That couldn't be. Nope, not happening. Surely not cops in a strip club, whose entire business model was the less the IRS know, the better. 

“Woohoo!! Come over here, you cutie patootie!” She screamed, something told me to stay. Probably the rational part of my being, but something bigger, and less intelligent, and definitely hornier, screamed at me to see if it was really him. So I walked over, winking at the woman.

“How can I be of service?” I asked, glittering my eyelashes.

“My friend over here thinks you're hot as a-“



“Hange!” A very familiar voice barked. I whipped my head to the side, and nearly dropped dead when I saw Levi. My Levi, It’s nothing personal, Eren. I just don't date Levi. I suddenly remembered where I was, and my smile reappeared.

“Well, that’s very sweet of you officer. Thanks again for lunch, you're a sweetheart.” I could tell that he was left speechless at that. I took a step closer to him, and leaned down, picking up his beer and taking a sip, staring into his eyes the entire time. “What can I do for you?” I asked, stepping even closer so that I was in between his legs. There were loud whoops and cheers from the crowd as I got closer to him, and my heartbeat sped up to match the bass that was thumping through the club. He locked eyes with mine, piercing me even through the smoke, and his hand reached out slowly, caressing my upper thigh. I shivered at the action, he wasn't violent, he didn't grope me drunkenly. It was intimate, sensual, erotic. His hand remained on my thigh, and then he raised it, gliding it ever so lightly up my side and across my chest. I gasped, and his breath hitched. I fell into his lap, straddling his thighs, and began dancing. Instantly, the catcalls started again, I rotated my hips, throwing my hands in the air, I smirked down at Levi, whose face was unreadable. He smelled amazing, like leather and lemon soap and second hand cigarette smoke. It was intoxicating. I continued to rotate and thrust my hips towards Levi, running my hands up and down his chest. All too soon, the song was over, and Levi was fishing a twenty out of his wallet, as was Hange, who was possibly crying? Levi was right, she was weird. 

I took the notes and tucked them into my shorts, thanked them, and walked away, feeling that sting of rejection all over again. I was blank for the rest of the night, not even sure of what I was doing, I felt a hollowness inside my chest, and my thoughts were full of everything from before, before Trost, before all of it. Marco asked me if I was okay, but I didn’t bother telling him. I just walked back to my changing room and got ready to go home. The air was cold, but even the relief of it didn't lift my mood.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep that night.

~*~



I felt like shit all day Saturday, and when Marco asked me once more if I was all right, I confessed to everything.

”Oh, you poor thing. Listen, Eren, this guy is an asshole. If he comes back in here tonight, or any other night, taunt him. Do what you did last night, make him hurt like he hurt you.” Marco told me. My eyes widened, I expected something more tame from Marco, but that advice worked fine with me too.

”You’re spending too much time with Jean.” Marco simply smirked, winked at walked towards his boyfriends room. I sighed, ran a hand through my hair, and got ready. It didn't take me long to pull on my skimpy outfit of incredibly tight hot pants, and heels. There was also the makeup and hair. But those never took me long, I simply applied some eyeliner, blush, and lipgloss, and put a little glitter in my hair and down my chest. I straightened my room a bit, and decided that I was ready. Just as I was leaving to wait by stage door, Erdou knocked on my open door.

”Eren, may I have a word?” My eyes widened, and I quickly fixed my hair before standing.

”Of course sir, is everything okay?” He stepped inside and sat down on the sofa in the room. His expression was like stone, great.

”Quite, Eren. I just wanted to say that your show last night was very good, that’s the sort of thing we’re looking for around here. Keep it up.” Before I could thank him, he was gone. Wonderful, the shows that left me feeling like shit were the good ones. Perfect. Per-fect!

I went on stage as my name was called. The first thing I did was search the crowd, looking for a particular pair steel eyes, and smooth fair skin. I was surprised when saw him there, alone this time, wearing a tight white v-neck and some blue jeans. My breath left me is one gasp when I saw him rake his eyes up and down my body. I let the lust I felt show in my eyes, on my face, and in my actions. I pulled all the stops, sitting on peoples laps', dropping down on my knees in front of their crotchs'. I let them grab me, danced around them, did everything. When I got to Levi, who was suitably aroused, all I did was lean down and run my hand across his undercut before planting a soft kiss on his cheek. His hand was caressing my chest, and I felt it slowly sink down towards my shorts, he ran his fingertips across my hipbones. I shivered, leaning closer to him, breathing heavily in his ear. His skin was soft, his touch feather light. Levi's hand sank lower, and then it was gone. I stood back and looked into his eyes. He was conflicted, I smirked and bounced away from him, making sure to shake my ass in his face. Soon he was behind me, and my arm was around another man, lip syncing with some trashy song I couldn't remember the name of.

A picture of Him appeared in my mind's eye. What would he think of me? What would he say if he found out about my job? If he found out about Levi? I sighed, my heart heavy in my chest.

I knew the answers to my questions, I just wouldn't admit it to myself.

As I was walking back to my room, I peeked over at Levi and saw talking to Erdou, looking over at me. The irony of Erd talking to a cop in the middle of the dance floor. I though about starting a bet with the guys as to how long before the cop attendees shut the place down. I eyed Levi curiously for a minute, and continued back stage. Soon after I closed the door, I heard it open and close again, Erdou appeared beside me.

"That man with the black hair, Levi, has paid for an hour. Don't change." I nodded, confused, and watched the tall blond walk away. I was tempted to shout after him and tell him to shove his money up his ass, but I held it in. What did Levi want? To talk? Or was he just another sleazeball looking to get laid? After all, we know he doesn't date. I battled with my thoughts as I straightened the room up a bit, folding clothes and neatening the table. It was insufferably hot, and my nerves didn't help. What felt like an eternity, but was probably only two minutes later, there was a gentle knock on the open door. I whipped around to see Levi standing there, with a very small nervous smile on his face. He looked beautiful, and I cursed myself for thinking it.

"Levi." I greeted stiffly. "Come in." He walked in slowly, closing the door behind him. Levi seemed quite happy with himself, which burned me up.

"What are you grinning about, you bastard?" He looked over at me a second later, as if I had interrupted his daydream.

"What? Oh, sorry. It's just warm in here. I'm always cold, so, you know. Anyway, Eren we need to talk. Properly, like adults." I nodded and told him that he could sit on the sofa, I sat at my table, my legs crossed and one arm lying across the back of the chair. "So," he started. "I think the way things ended that day was bad. Terrible even. And I swear, I didn't know that you are a stripper. My friend- that woman I was with, she dragged me here when I had a shitty day at work. She apparently heard some old guy in a coffee shop talking about how he thought all the guys here are hot as hell. As soon as I saw you, I wanted to leave. I didn't want to make things more awkward, but then Hange called you over. I'm sorry." He sounded sincere, and I was slightly taken aback. How was I supposed to flip out at him if he was apologising?

"Levi, I really enjoyed going to lunch with you. I think you're a good guy. See, when I left home, I left behind a guy I was dating, and it's just messed me up six ways to Sunday, Outside of the guys that work here, I don't really know anyone and you were one of the first people outside of here to like, talk to me, or be nice to me, and that's why I sort of came onto you. I'd really love if we could just forget that. Please." Levi nodded, and we sat in silence for a minute before he spoke again.

"So, I paid fifty bucks to be here. We should at least talk." I laughed at that, and his eyes brightened for a split second.

"Yeah, yeah, sure."

So, for the next hour we talked. About everything. Levi and I were opposite in a lot of ways, he loved black, I loved white. Levi was always too cold, and I was always too warm. He had a shitty sense of humour, literally. He didn't ask about my past, and I didn't tell.

"You're very good at your job, you know." Levi muttered at one stage. I grinned and laughed, feeling my cheeks grow red.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, not meeting Levi's gaze.

"I don't know really. I've said this before Eren, but you are incredibly gorgeous, only an idiot wouldn't see that. You're all tanned skin and glowing eyes. And you have an incredible stage presence, when you're out there, no one can look away. You may not be the best stripper, but you demand attention. You own those men. And you know how to wrap them around your finger, I've witnessed that first hand." I blushed more, looking down and tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"I wouldn't go that far. I've only been doing this for two months." I replied, not acknowledging that he called me gorgeous. "But thank you." I looked back up at his face. His eyes were gentle, more silver than grey. They glittered in the dim light.

When his time was up, Levi pulled himself off of the sofa, groaning. I stood up as well, snickering at him. I walked him to the door, and smiled softly.

"Thank you, Levi. It was nice actually talking to you. Feel free to come by another time." He nodded his head and walked away, giving me a soft wave. I closed the door once he was out of sight, and sighed.

 "Weirdest week ever."

Chapter Text

Levi had come by the club for three days in a row, and we were becoming friends fast. Levi was weird, or maybe awkward with people he classed as friends. He made awful jokes, and was kind of quirky. And a weird amount of toilet humour. It seemed the only people he really talked to on the daily were me, Hange, and Erwin, who I had yet to meet. I was kind of going out on a limb assuming we were even friends, it was hard to tell with him. We spoke daily and he came to see me in work, but still called me a shithead or a stupid brat, but hey, we all have our quirks.

He made me miss Armin and Mikasa even more. My eyes stung when I remembered the three of us laughing and joking and drinking until the sun came up, and then nursing our hangovers while we ate greasy pizza and watched shitty movies. 

I sighed, standing up from the cheap and grimy sofa in my apartment. As I stood, the sun shone in my eyes, blinding me. I walked towards the small kitchen and grabbed a bowl, a spoon, and a box of cereal. It was roughly midday, and I had to work that night. That left me with a free day, and no one to spend it with, as usual. Levi was probably working, so I couldn't call him. Maybe Marco was free? After eating my cereal, standing at the kitchen counter, I walked towards the phone beside the sofa and dialled Marco's number. After three rings, he picked up.

"Hey, Eren. What's up?" I heard Jean groan when Marco said my name, and I heard him yelp soon after. Presumably, Marco had hit him.

"Eh, nothing pressing. I just don't really have anything to do today. Are you free?"

"Yeah! Why don't you come over. You know my address right? Be here in a half an hour." He hung up, or Jean did it for him. My guess was the latter. I walked back toward the kitchen and abandoned my bowl in the sink when the phone rang again. Probably Marco, telling me to come over later or something. I answered the phone, and no one replied at first.

"Hello?" I asked, still silence. "Listen, if this is Jean, it's not funny-"

"It's not Jean." A female voice interrupted, and electricity shot through my entire body. Even just hearing those three words, I immediately knew who it was. I could feel the tears pool in my eyes, and my breath hitch in my throat

Mikasa.

"Mikasa, is that you?" My voice cracked, the first tear sliding down my cheek. 

"Yeah, Eren. It's me." She was quiet, whispering almost. "I've been searching for your number for weeks, Eren. You bastard. Oh my God, Armin is here. We need to talk." Armin was there? My heart was pounding in my chest excitement and terror mixing in my stomach like concrete in a mixer. 

"Armin is there? How are you guys?" I asked, sniffing.

"Yeah, he is. We're great. But listen, Dom dropped by the house yesterday when Mom and Dad were out. Eren, you need to call him. Write to him, something. He's a mess, and he's really angry and hurt. Talk to him." Hearing his name made the concrete crack and suddenly I felt broken inside. How could I ever contact him? Tell him what I had become? 

"Mikasa, can we not talk about Dom right now? I haven't talked to you in two months, and I have to leave in about fifteen minutes to go somewhere. Please, just tell me something about home. Tell me something about you!" I said, through intermittent sniffling and laughing. 

"Okay, Eren. If you really want. Well, Mom and Dad haven't so much as mentioned your name or Dom's. Whenever I say that we should try and call, make sure you doing okay, they shut me down immediately. I can tell that Mom misses you, but Dad is still angry. They spend a lot of time in church. I think they even asked about conversion therapy, I'm sorry." Angry? He had no right to be angry. Before I could get mad, and start shouting at MIkasa, they put Armin on the phone.

"Eren!" He shouted. "Oh man, I've missed you so much! How are you? Are you eating? Are you working? Are you-"

"Armin!" I interrupted, "I'm doing good. I've working, I've made some friends, not as cool as you though. I miss you two so much. Come visit me sometime? Fill me in on everything I've missed. You better be taking good care of MIkasa, cause I'll kill you if you don't!" He laughed, and even though it was muffled, it reminded me of days at home in the sun. My heart bled to be with them.

"Listen, Ar. As much as I'd love to talk, I have to run, but make sure you call back tonight. Save this number!! Okay? Bye. Send Mika my love." I hung up before he could interrupt. I just stood still for a minute, comprehending what had just happened. It all rushed over me at once, Armin and Mikasa found my number? How did they even do that? It made me think, why did I shut them out? They did nothing wrong. And then I remembered the shame. They'd eventually ask what I was doing in the city and Mikasa could smell a lie from a while away. After waiting for a minute, stopping myself from crying, I left for Marco's.

In some sick twist of fate, Marco's apartment was in Levi's building, and though it was technically Marco's, Jean practically lived there too. It was about a ten minute walk from my place. The bright March sun shone through wispy clouds, I was sweating in my jeans and pale green t-shrit, the sweat making my skin sheen. The roads were almost empty, people being wise enough to not try drive, but the pavement was full of all sorts of people. Grungy teenagers walked in groups of two or three, followed by men in shirts and linen trousers with slicked back hair. I walked slowly with my hands in my pockets, eyes half closed to avoid being blinded by the sun.

Marco's building was a bit fancier than mine, but that wasn't exactly difficult. The ground floor at black and white checked tile and sage green walls, with wooden mailboxes on the left wall and big windows on the right, letting the light beam through. It looked straight out of a sitcom, where the five best friends always end up bumping into each other. He buzzed me up, and I slipped inside the door. I took the stairs, which I regretted by the time I had reached the eighth floor. Four more floors to go. The corridors were painted cream, unlike the almost blue colour of the walls in Marco's apartment.

"Eren! You're here. Jean just getting changed. Have you eaten? I'm putting on some toast." I sometimes wondered if Marco's face ever hurt from smiling so much, but Jean would probably have punched me if I ever asked.

"I ate at home, thanks." I responded. I felt slightly awkward, as if I was intruding on Marco and Jean. Being around the two of them was the definition of third wheeling. They exuded a really intense vibe of 'we are so very in love, and it's great'. Plus, Horse Face Jean is an asshole. Mikasa and Armin had said the same thing about Dom and I, and you bet I stopped that train of thought before it could go further and leave me crying on Marco's nice plush navy sofa.

"Great, Eren's here." I heard Jean's deep voice from the other end of the apartment.

"Down dog, play nice." I dead-panned. Jean literally growled at me, leaning into the dog joke. 

"Oh, sorry, you're not a dog, are you? Yeah, I forgot, you're a fucking horse face." Marco burst out laughing, and Jean feigned offence, shocked that his boyfriend would betray him.

"Fine, laugh at the kid's jokes. We'll see how much you like him when you're jerking off alone tonight." Marco continued to laugh, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing myself. Jean collapsed down onto the sofa, and asked Marco to put on some toast "with extra grape jelly" for him. Marco invited me to sit down in the living area. The TV was already on, playing some black and white western movie, though no one was listening to whatever was on.

"So Eren," Marco said, his tone was flirty, and suddenly I was nervous, "how's Levi?" I blanched.

"Who's Levi? That guy who goes to your room-"

"Marco! Did you tell him?" He simply giggled as he buttered some toast.

"No, shitwaffle, but everyone is talking about him. Are you two screwing?-" He was spread across the whole couch, legs hanging off the end.

"No!" I all but screamed, I was bright red, my skin felt hot. My face tingled. "No, we're... friends? It's complicated, but we're not screwing! Oh my god, he lives here, please shut up." As soon as I had said it, I regretted it. Jean grinned, looking over at Marco. They seemed to be conversing using just eye contact.

"So, Levi lives here? Well, isn't that interesting." I shot up from my chair in a panic.

"Please don't talk to him. Oh my god, please, please don't." The two started laughing, and I sat back down, clearly pouting. Marco brought over some toast on a plate for Jean, and kissed his cheek as he gave him the plate, before jumping over the back of the sofa to join him.

"How are you 'sort of' friends? Did you sleep together? Kiss? What happened?" Jean asked, biting off some of his toast. I sighed and told him the story of how Levi and I met. I could see him biting his lip, trying his hardest not to laugh at me. Marco listened intently, hitting his boyfriend whenever he accidentally snorted. When I'd told them everything, there was silence for a second before Jean just said, "you need to fuck." Marco snorted, but hit Jean anyway.

"Thanks for that intelligent input, Horse Face. Really helpful. I'm not interested in him anymore, it was nothing." Marco smiled as me wistfully,

"Eren, don't rule out the possibility that you might be interested, or might become interested. You two sound compatible, and having a boyfriend might do you some good, help you forget that guy you told me about when you moved here." I knew he was right, he always was. Stupid mother hen.

"What about Bert? He thinks you're cute." Jean suggested.

"Jean! We're not trying to set him up with anyone. Just let Eren-"

"Did he really say that?" I interrupted. I had never really talked to Bert, but whenever I had, he seemed nice. He was fairly quiet, tall and toned with black hair. The other two stared at me, confused at my outburst. My cheeks pinkened, and I looked down. There was silence for a minute before I spoke up again.

"I'm not ruling out the possibility of Levi and I dating. I think we could hypothetically be a good couple. We got along well, you know? But it's not going to happen right now, and if Bert thinks I'm cute, what's the harm in going to get a coffee, or something? You said it yourself, Marco. I need someone right now. Besides, even if Bert isn't actually interested in me, or whatever, at least I'll get to know him a bit more. He is a co-worker, after all. Think about you guys, you met through work. I'm just putting myself out there. " Marco and Jean just stared at me uncomfortably, figuring out what to say next.

"Eren," Marco started carefully, glancing at his boyfriend and holding his hand, "we're not saying to not put yourself out there. We're just saying that you should be carful. Don't look to get yourself hurt for the sake of it." When no one said anything else, I just smiled at Marco and turned my attention back to the television. In my peripheral vision, I could see Jean look nervously at me. It was somewhat disconcerting to see him concerned about me, so I threw him a grin and asked him to turn up the volume. Nervously, he did it.

Hours passed, and at 3p.m, we decided to make pancakes. As it turned out, Jean couldn't cook for shit, and hated that I was better than him.

"Fuck up, Jeager. I don't need to cook. I'm a better stripper than you." He growled, clenching his fists. I snorted at him, helping Marco make the mixture.

"At least you need some skill to strip, measuring milk isn't that difficult, yet you still fucked up." Marco was giggling as he fried some bacon to go with the pancakes, and Jean was beginning to look like a child throwing a strop.

"Marco, you are officially the worst boyfriend I've ever had, and I dated a guy who once got so drunk, that he had sex with his cousin and shaved his entire head. He had more hair than Chicago has deep dish, Marco." I think that that was the exact moment I keeled over laughing, clutching the glass bowl I was holding close to my chest and I hissed and snorted and cried.

"Oh Jaeger, that's not even the worst of it. When he woke up the next morning in a pile of his own hair with his female cousin cuddling him, he decided to call me, and ask if he could move in with me. Because he lived with his cousin, the one he slept with."

"Amazing. I'm gonna write a book about him, what was his name?" I asked, wiping tears from my eyes.

"William. What an adventure he was. I'd never smoked weed until I met him." Marco, who was against drugs, and against his boyfriend using them, threw the blonde a dirty look before slapping his ass jokingly. I finished the pancake batter, still laughing to myself, and left the bowl beside Marco, holding on to the edge of the countertop.

A matter of minutes later, we were all seated at the tiny wooden table with mismatched chairs eating bacon, pancakes and maple syrup. We exchanged stories of old boyfriends and drunken adventures. My personal favourite was my own, the time myself, Armin and Mika got incredibly drunk and crashed a dinner party held by the church. We walked in, pissed as hell, as the Reverend was giving a speech on the importance of keeping God close at all times. Needless to say, the old women didn't appreciate my rendition of the Sunday hymns, and my unintelligible additions to the speech.

"Didn't know you had it in you, Jaeger." was all that Jean said in response to my story. From Jean, that meant he was impressed.

I left about two hours before I had work. The couple weren't working that night, and were going out to a restaurant for date night. It was roughly just after four, and I was walking down the final few steps when Levi began walking up them in his police uniform. When he saw me, he slowed, giving me that look that I think was a Levi smile.

"Hey Eren. Should I be concerned you're in my building? When I told you where I live, I don't remember including and invite." I snorted, and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Oh right, yeah. Because you're worth stalking. And, by the way, you're the one who loiters in my workplace." It was Levi's turn to cock an eyebrow at me, and as he did, he ran a hand through his hair, which just fell back into its regular side split.

"Whatever you say. Are you working tonight? I'm just asking because I can't come by. Hange invited herself over, that bitch." He looked disgraced at the idea of spending voluntary time with Hange.

"Yeah, I'm on my way there now. I'll see you another time though, if Hange doesn't bury your body in the park before then." I laughed at him and said my goodbye before making my way back to my own apartment. I had an hour before I had to go to work. I contemplated calling Mika and chatting with her, but I decided against it. No one would be happy if I had puffy eyes at work. So I decided to take a quick nap instead. I didn't dream, for once. It was nice, and the first time in weeks that I wasn't haunted by Dom's sun kissed skin.

Sleep without dreams was comfortable for me. It was silence, and it was cool. An escape from the heat of daily life. The heat in my cheeks when people made me blush, the heat of the Chicago summer sun, the heat of the lights at work. Sleep without dreams was when I really unwound, when I really uncharged.

But I still woke up cranky. Apparently, a sleep without dreams was only useful to me when it lasted longer than an hour. Wish I'd known that earlier. I groaned as I rolled out of bed, attempting to tame my messy hair. I naturally had messy hair, but my bedhead was a whole other story. Within minutes, I was out the door and on my way to work. The journey seemed shorter for some reason, and I was thankful. When I arrived at the club, I went straight to my room to get ready. Just as I was finished dusting some purple glitter in my hair, I heard a knock on my door.

"It's open." I shouted, and grinned when I saw Bert in the mirror. Coincidence, or what?

"Hey man, thanks for the shoes. What can I do for you?' Bert nodded and came in, closing the door behind him. He was tall, roughly my height, with neat black hair and milky skin. Not as pale as Levi's, but paler than mine. He was naturally quiet, but not shy. All in all, Bert was a good guy.

"No problem. You can keep them, I have plenty." He said, motioning to his own shoes, plain black heels. He was dressed similarly to me, in black shorts with a bowtie. His muscular chest and arms on show.

"Thanks. Anyway, what's up..?" I asked, still looking at him through the mirror.

"Oh yeah! Sorry. I was wondering if you wanted to go on first or second tonight?"

"Second, if you don't mind." I told him. He turned to leave and I panicked. Did I want to ask him out? There weren't really any cons in the situation. Bert was nice. He was tall and quiet, not my type, but I was up for trying new things every now and then. All the wheels turned in my brain, and I finally made my decision.

"Bert!" I shouted, standing up from my chair. He turned around and leaned against the door frame, looking at me with his usual patient stare. "Do you wanna go out sometime? For, like, coffee?" I flashed him my biggest, brightest grin, and fluttered my eyelashes a bit. He looked a bit shocked, his eyes widening slightly before returning to normal.

"Yeah, yeah totally. Are you free tomorrow?" I walked over to him, still smiling.

"I am, do you have a piece of paper on you? I'll give you my address." He nodded, and turned to leave. I presumed that I was meant to follow him, and we walked in the direction of his room. It was laid out the same, but cleaner that mine. I guessed that Bert was a clean guy, too. He grabbed a black backpack off of the floor by the door and pulled out a notepad and a black ballpoint pen. His careful hands ripped off about a quarter of a page, and handed it to me with them pen. I gave him a quick smile, and kneeled down to lean on my knee while I wrote. My writing was messy, scrawled even. It had always been messy, very curved and slanted. My cursive writing was just plain illegible, teachers always gave me shit for it in high school. I stood up and handed the paper to Bert before waving and turning to leave.

"Pick me up at two, 'kay?" He nodded, and I winked at him. There was something in my stomach that I was trying to push down, something that told me it was a bad idea, but I put it down tow waking up cranky from my nap. Focus on the positive:

I had a date!

Chapter Text

I had forgotten how stressful first dates actually were. Having not been on one in months, the butterflies and stress over my untameable hair were unfamiliar. I was a natural flirt, and my sexual prowess was intense for want of a better word. I had no reason to be nervous, but low and behold, I was at in my apartment fidgeting with my thumbs, tapping my heel off the floor incessantly. It was ten minutes to two, at least ten minutes before Bert would arrive. Why did time seems to pass slow, precisely at the worst time?

I had a habit of thinking too much when I was waiting. What if Bert didn't actually like me? Did I actually even like Bert? There was a deep pit in my stomach telling me I didn't want to do this, that I had let Marco get into my hear, but I did my best to ignore it. Dom is gone, time to move on. But thinking someone is cute isn't the same as being interested in them. Oh my god, what if Jean was lying to me, just to fuck with me? Would he make me pay? Shit, I had like no spare cash. Surely I could afford two coffees? I took out my wallet, which cost more than it held, and opened it up. I had a ten in it, and a few quarters, and I getting paid the next day. With a sigh, I closed my wallet and dipped my head back onto my chair. So at least I could pay if I had to. 

Seven minutes.

I went back to brushing my fingers through my hair. I would never understand how my hair, though short, managed to curl and twist in every direction except down.

Four minutes.

There was a knock at the door, and I shot up from my chair, wiping my palms on my jeans. I walked towards the door, taking deep breaths and opened the door, plastering my biggest smile on my face. Then I paused for a few seconds, trying to make it seem like I hadn't been sitting and staring at the door for the last twenty minutes. 

"Bert, hey! I'd invite you in, but really, you don't want to see the inside of these apartments. I promise." He laughed a little, and leaned on the door frame.

"I'm sure it's fine-"

"It's really not. It's horrible. I live here because it's cheap." With that, I closed the door, locking it behind me. I looked up at him and smiled, walking towards the stairs.

As it turned out, Bert was brining me to some cute café in a mall. It was a fifteen minute car ride away from my apartment. The radio was on, and some band I'd never heard of was playing. Marco didn't look as good as Levi while driving. He looked very studious, both hands on the wheel, staring at the road with a concentration that was palpable from the passenger street. As soon as I thought it, I mentally slapped myself. I shouldn't be comparing Bert to Levi. Levi was only my friend, granted, he was my incredibly sexy, completely compatible friend. But only a friend. I wasn't going to go there, especially not when I was on a date with another guy. When I asked him  on the date.

"Eren, Eren, everything okay? Eren?" I turned towards Bert as soon as I realised he was speaking. "Sorry if I interrupted your thoughts. We're just coming up at the mall now." I thanked him and double checked for my wallet, patting around my jeans. My eyes widened when I realised my efforts were in vain.

"Oh shit, Bert. I forgot my wallet, I'm really sorry." I looked at Bert to find him smiling, still looking at the road.

"That's okay. I'm paying. I had no intentions of letting you pay for anything." I relaxed slightly, but felt bad for comparing him to Levi when he was actually being really nice. I didn't reply, as we were pulling into the parking lot. Bert parked really near to the main entrance. There was a bunch of girls standing there, all wearing flannel shirts tied around their waste with long white shirts and ripped tights. Some of them were smoking, some weren't. They stared at myself and Bert as we walked in. It didn't seem to bother Bert though, he just walked calmly, his hands in the pockets of his beige trousers. The white t-shirt he was wearing, tucked into his trousers, clung to his muscles, outlining all of them.

He may not have been as sexy as Levi, but he was still very, very hot. Very. We walked towards the escalator, shoulder brushing as we did. It was very busy, but that was a given, considering it was Saturday. The café was on the second floor, tucked away in a corner near the bathrooms. It was one of the quietest places I had been in all day. The decor was a marriage of brown and cream from the ceiling, to the tables and napkins. I ordered some sort of latte, and Bert got a vanilla-coffee concoction. I wasn't sure what exactly. We sat is a secluded corner of the café, even though the place was mostly empty. I sat down while Bert waited for the drinks to be made. There was music playing in the background, but it was so faint that I could barely hear it. The mugs seemed to be the brightest things in the café, my drink was served in a bright red cup big enough to be a soup bowl, and Bert's was in a royal blue mug the same size. As it turned out, Bert was older than I was, at twenty-four, going on twenty-five. He was raised by his mother in Indiana, and moved to Chicago when he was twenty, after his mother had died, to meet his dad, who had no interest in him, but gave him enough money to start renting an apartment. He never went to university, but had always wanted to become a chef, and was saving to do a night course to get a job in a restaurant.

"What about you? All I know is that you're twenty-one." He laughed a little and took a sip off his drink, peering at me past the rim of the cup.

"Well, I've always lived in Chicago, but I moved to the city recently. I was in college, studying business. I would have been finished this year, but a couple of things happened. I dropped out and moved here. My home life isn't great right now, but I'm getting by." Bert looked at me, concern in his eyes, but didn't push it.

"When are you twenty-two?" He asked, fiddling with the handle of his mug.

"August. I'm the baby at the club," I said, laughing. "But don't worry, I won't call you a cradle robber. Reiner is older than you, isn't he?" Bert laughed again, kicking me under the table.

My brain was everywhere but here. This felt wrong and unnatural, like my subconscious was screaming at me to get up and run. Bert was so nice, so cute, picked me up and was going to pay for my coffee, but this didn't feel right in my gut, and it was too damn warm and too damn loud. How could I get this to end quickly? Well, I certainly knew of one way to get things moving. 

"Oh, you wanna play that game? You wanna play dirty?" I said, sliding my foot up his leg. Bert smirked at me, winking at me as he slouched in his chair, opening his legs a little wider. I smirked back at him, putting my cup down and and running my hand through my hair.

"I thought you were the bashful one," Bert murmured, shyness dissipating in favour of a flirty tone and deep voice.

"I am," I replied, smirking, "in certain positions." I leaner closer to him, elbows on the table. There were only a few inches between us, and I could feel his eyes on me, looking me up and down. "Want to find out which ones?"

"Let's head back to my place." Bert whispered, staring at my lips as he spoke. We both stood up fast, surprising the lady behind the counter. Some part of me told me not to do this. There was a half full cup of coffee and conversation on that table. I knew that it was wrong, only a half an hour ago, I was thinking about Levi and comparing him to Bert. Now I was on my way to his apartment. I didn't even know if I was interested in him or not. I continued to attempt to rationalise with myself all the way back to the car, but I lost the ability to think when I was seated in the passenger seat, and Bert's lips were suddenly on mine. He kissed me slowly, lips moving rhythmically as he moved his hand up to the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair. I moaned as he pulled my head towards his, kissing me deeper. His tongue parted my lips, and slowly started to tease me tongue with his, encouraging me to kiss him back. I happily obliged, my heart pounding and my head swimming. Bert's other hand moved to my hip, squeezing gently. I moaned beneath him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down towards me. I felt dizzy, and I was barely able to form any sort of comprehensible thought. Eventually he pulled back, panting. A string of spit connected out lips, making me blush. I sat there panting, mouth open and eyes lidded. My arms were still around Bert's neck, and after a moment, I pulled him back down to me, smashing our lips together once more. He kissed me deeply, drawing my tongue back into his mouth. I submitted completely to him, like putty in his hands, moaning and whimpering at his ministrations.

"Wow," I whispered once he pulled back, still panting. We sat back in our respective chairs, and Bert started to drive. We drove in silence, but the sexual tension was turning me on so much that I was tempted to whip out my dick right there and then. I could tell Bert felt the same, every now and then, he would squeeze the steering wheel so hard his knuckles would turn white. After a few minutes, I had built up the courage to slip my hand into Bert's lap. His thigh stiffened once my hand settled, but after a few seconds, he relaxed again. Slowly, my usual courage was returning to me, so I decided to be even more daring. I twisted in my seat and moved towards Bert, so that my mouth was right by his ear.

"I don't think I can wait much longer," I whispered, purposefully moaning a bit at the end. Slowly, I started to kiss down his neck, licking and sucking at certain points. Bert groaned, his voice breaking a bit. "Bert, please." I moaned, making a show of sliding my hand up my thigh, leaving it dangerously close to my half-hard cock.

"Eren. Eren, stop. Seriously, I'll crash the car." I pulled back, smirking at him, eyes half lidded. He visibly gulped, but said nothing. It only took a few more minutes to get to Bert's apartment, and we were out of his car so fast, I couldn't even remember it happening once we got inside. His apartment was lavish in comparison to mine. The walls were a purposeful grey, unlike the unpainted walls at my place. He was a black leather suite, and the kitchen was mostly monochrome except for all the crockery, and the food which was out in various bowls. I didn't have time to seriously analyse his furnishings, as I was busy being pushed towards the bedroom while making out heavily with Bert. Once we got through the bedroom door, Bert through me onto his bed, and pressed himself down on top of me. The entire time, our lips never parted. He began fumbling with the hem of my shirt, his hands sliding up my chest. My hands went around his back as his fingers tickled my chest. He played with my muscles, making them clench and bulge under his touch. I moaned as he moved his mouth to my neck, latching onto the spot above my collar. Bert's tapered fingers pinched my nipples, rolling them between his index finger and thumb.

"Bert, oh god." I moaned, moving my hands from his back to his chest, slipping them under his shirt. His abs rippled under my fingers. I groaned at the feel on them, moving one hand to his left bicep. I squeezed making Bert groan. He sat up for a second, and moved his hands to the button on my jeans. He paused momentarily, looking between my face and the bulge in my trousers.

"Is this okay?" He asked quietly, looking straight at me. I just nodded, arching into his hand. Bert took that as a solid yes, so he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled hem down a little, just enough to see my shorts and about an inch of my thighs. Bert undid his own jeans, and leaned down to roll his hips into mine. We both manned at the friction, and I arched my hips into him, moving faster. I moved my mouth across his collarbones, licking and nipping at the exposed skin. My hands roamed over his back, and when I reached the hem, I pulled his shirt up so I could see his abs. Bert moved a hand from the bed to my crotch, his hand slipped beneath the band of my boxers and gripped my cock. I whined, my head falling back onto the pillows. It felt amazing, his grip was firm, but gentle. It had been too long since someone touched me, and I knew I wasn't going to last long. I felt the heat build in the bottom of my stomach, my mind was going blank. I had long since lost the ability to form concrete thoughts.

"Bert!" I moaned when he started to move his hand, using my precum as lube. The thumbed the slit and caressed my sac, and moan after moan spilled out of my mouth. It was too much for me, he was too good. I only lasted a minute longer before I came, shooting up my exposed chest. My head shook, and I writhed on the bed as the orgasm hit me.

"Oh yeah." I breathed, panting as I came down from my high. Bert was still above me, but he was sitting to my side now, one arm stretching across my chest to rest on the pillow beside my head. "God. That was good. Wow." Bert chuckled at me before rolling over to get off the bed.

"I'll go finish in the bathroom. You just relax. I'll get you a wash cloth." He returned a minute later, and threw a wet washcloth at me from the doorway. I mumbled my thanks as he returned to the bathroom. It didn't take me long to clean up, not as long as it took Bert to finish. So I waited in his room, still breathing too heavily for it to be classed as normal. At least my plan to get out of the mall worked, but know I had just gotten a handy from a guy I worked with, to get out of having a coffee with him. Wow, asshole of the year right here. The nice thing to do would be honest with him, say 'Yeah, I know you gave me a handjob on our first date, but I'm not actually interested. I was just deflecting that my life is a train wreck and possibly my feeling for a short, black haired cop onto you.' Woah, wait. I didn't have any feelings for Levi. What the fuck was my subconscious saying? If I was deflecting any feelings, they were feelings for Dom. Expired, bittersweet feelings which I was trying not to think about. Definitely not feelings for Levi. I sighed, falling back onto the bed. Bert wasn't a bad guy. Surely I could go on a few more dates, and then if I decided that I wasn't interested, I could just come clean. But that still left me with some weird sort of feeling for Levi. I groaned and rolled over just as Bert walked back into the room. He sat down at the edge of the bed and smiled at me. He was back to being quiet too, which was good. I needed something normal, in times where everyone seemed to be turning me on and I didn't know what I was doing with my life.

"Are you working tonight?" I wasn't aware that I had said it until Bert replied.

"No, I'm not." We stayed in silence after that, and I could feel the awkward tension set in. I didn't want to stick around for a 'what-are-we' chat, so I sat up, fixing my clothes a bit.

"Oh shoot, I'm working at six. Could you give me a ride home?" I asked. Bert just nodded, and w stood up, walking back towards the front door. I was able to appreciate Bert's apartment more now that I wasn't busy trying to get his hands on my body. It had a weird resemblance to Monica's apartment from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, except more black, white and grey with odd splashes of colour here and there. I think the main reason I was fascinated with Bert's decor was because his apartment looked lived in, he had possessions here and there, cooking magazines and books on the coffee table, a watch beside the TV, things that I left at home. I closed the door behind me with a sigh, and walked down the stairs slowly. We didn't talk in the car, but it gave me plenty of time to think. Not that I wanted to think. I actually, if it was at all possible, wanted to shut my brain down for a few hours. 

I only realised that I was rambling to myself when the car stopped. I shook my head and blinked back into reality, looking at Bert and smiling. "Thanks, I'll see you soon then." Before he could reply, I leaned over and pecked his lips. I could feel my face contort into some confused mess, so I hoped out of the car rather quickly. The air was cold. I hadn't realised.

I was working the earlier shift that night, and I realised that Levi didn't know, so I made my way over to the phone. Just as I was picking up my phone, ready to dial Levi, I paused. I could feel logical thoughts setting in, so I decided to put down the phone. Why did it matter if he knew when I was working? Surely a full grown man had better things to do than babysit me at work. I stood by the phone, trying to figure out my feelings. There was nothing wrong with calling him, was there? Levi was a good friend (good acquaintance? Best customer?) of mine. I was just asking if he could come to my show today. But I also had some sort of thing for him, whether i was sexual or not, I didn't know. Maybe I just missed the companionship that I had in my old life. I hadn't done this much thinking in a long time, and I was beginning to get a headache. Deciding to ignore the small part of my brain that actually spoke logic, I moved to pick up the phone. I had Levi's number written on a notepad, so I dialled it carefully. The dial tone made my stomach churn, but the sound of Levi's gravelly voice mutter "hello?" made my heart race.

"Hi, Levi. It's Eren."

"Oh, hey Eren. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm great. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going on at seven tonight instead of ten, in case you wanted to stop by." There was silence for a moment, and I felt like hanging up and puking, but before that urge could take over, Levi responded.

"Desperate to see me, Jaeger? You could be a little more subtle, you know." I heard the noise that I had come to recognise at Levi's laugh, irritating little bastard.

"No, Shorty. Besides, I was on a date today." It sounded as childish as I thought it would, and I regretted saying it immediately. I expected Levi to tease me about it, but it seemed that I had piqued his interest.

"A date? Was he blind, or just dumb?" I smirked, which one of us was being desperate now, eh?

"Excuse you. He's a very cute, very able guy. He's a stripper too. I have lots of gossip for you, if you wanna hear it. You'll definitely find something to laugh about."

"Laugh at Eren Jaeger? I'd be an idiot to pass up such an opportunity. I'll be there at six thirty."

"Hm, I expected as much. See you then."

Levi hung up before I did. I didn't know the time, and the sky wasn't giving me much, it was just sort of bleak out. My favourite kind of day. All hours seemed to blend together in an everlasting 10am haze. I sighed and lay down on my couch, I was tired, but not physically. I was emotionally drained from my heart, and dick unanimously deciding that I was happy to distract myself from my feelings by using Bert, but I wanted Levi. One of my long legs was hanging off the end of my sofa. I was spacing at this stage, only thinking to occupy myself. I felt heat in lower stomach, too, unsatisfied from earlier, and confused from talking to Levi. No really what I needed. My dick was working against me, I was sure of it. I grumbled to myself, but reached down to touch myself through my jeans anyway. Everything went too slow but too fast at the same time from there on out. Nothing lasted long enough, but still seemed to be never ending. In reality, it probably only took me about five minutes to come, between images of Bert, Dom, and some guilty images of Levi, and my hand tugging hard at the base of my cock. My hand was covered in come, but I was too lazy to wipe it off, so I left my hand curled around my softening cock, heart racing.

Eventually I got cleaned up, showering and changing. I felt hungry then, so I ate some poptarts and drank some watery coffee before heading to work. Reiner, and some guys who usually worked mornings were in. I didn't bother talking to them though, there wasn't very much time before I went on. I was opening. Getting ready was a ritual by that stage. Muscle memory, even. My hands seemed to know what to do, where to go, without me even thinking about it. The half an hour passed in the blink of an eye, and then I was waiting to hear my name over the speakers.

I saw Levi instantly, he was sitting closer to the front than he usually did. He winked when he saw me, and raised his glass towards me. Uncharacteristic of him, I wondered how much he had had to drink so far. I would later find out that he hadn't had anything to drink. My eyes were glued to him for the entire fifteen minutes that I was on stage. To say that I was slutting it up would be putting it lightly. Eye contact, I had learned, was incredibly important when trying to seem like you wanted to have sex with someone (even if you really, really didn't). I knew everyone was eying me, I could feel it on my skin. The hot stares burned my skin, especially when there were only a few inches between us. At one stage, I was so close to Levi's face that I was tempted to kiss him. I leaned down, looking him dead in the eye, mouthing the lyrics, my lips only a whisper away from his, erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body. His eyes had gone from grey to a dark, flickering silver. I could feel them everywhere as I let my head fall to the side, running my hands up and down my chest. There's a certain satisfaction in a little bit of pain. I walked away from him and sat in another guys lap, bouncing around a bit as I grinned, rolling my head around and letting my hair fall into my eyes. I was enjoying myself a bit too much, and I was feeling brave. There was a rush that wasn't usually there. Jean told me about it before. Something about being a closeted exhibitionist. I couldn't think straight with the music pulsating through my body.

My set was over soon after that, and I proudly grinned and bowed before going backstage, a bounce in my step. It took Levi approximately three minutes to arrive at my dressing room door. He never watched the other guys, and that was a fact that filled me with pride and joy.

"Good work out there." He said, smirking a little as he leaned against the door frame. "You looked really happy, and also a bit like a really hot whore." I burst out laughing at that. His eyes looked soft, friendly even.

"Thank you. Now sit down." I scolded, he smirked, shaking his head, but did as he was told yesterday. "So, I'm going to tell you all about my date, and you're going to sit there like the nice little short and angry cop you are-"

"Don't call me short. You know full well that I'll strangle you if you call me short-"

"Yes, yes. You're so damn scary when you're angry. Oh, bite me." He rolled his eyes and sat back, his right ankle rested on his left knee. He crossed his arms over his chest and just glared at me. For some reason, I found it unbelievably funny, but I bit lip to keep from laughing. I had a feeling Levi wouldn't find kicking my ass if I laughed at him over his height. He was a police man, after all. "So anyway, as I was saying. Bert, who works here, brought me out to coffee. He paid, which was great because as you know, I'm poor. But really we only stayed for like twenty minutes and then we left to make out in his car. Oh my god Levi, he is one kisser. Like holy shit. Oh, and then he gave me a hand job in his apartment, which is also great. He has a really good sense of style." Levi just stared at me, almost bored for a minute.

"He gave you a hand job on the first date?" I nodded. "Wow, classy."

"Hey! Don't be mean. It's been a really long time since I've been on a first date. Or a date in general. And I was excited to tell you, since we're, you know, friends or whatever." When I looked back up at Levi, I saw him smiling at me. Not smirking, smiling. His eyes were soft, with slight lines at the corners, and one side of his mouth quirked higher than the other.

"Hey, don't get mad. I'm only teasing. Of course we're friends, I just wouldn't get so excited about a first date where things instantly get sexual. From experience, I know that things don't always work out. Just be careful, okay?" He raised one eyebrow, and I just pouted.

It was then that I realised how childish I was being, but I couldn't help it. I wanted him to be happy for me. Considering how confused he made me, it sort of made sense. I felt like him approving of my current relationship would make it easier for me to sort out my feelings for him. Who knew.

"Besides, you deserve to be treated better. I know that I sure as hell wouldn't get you in my bed so soon." I snapped my head towards him. What the fuck was that? How the fuck did I respond to that?

"Eh...-"

"I'm just saying that I think it's a very poor way to treat a stripper. Get in his pants on the first date. Besides, how good could a hand job be?" I furrowed my eyebrows out him and spoke very slowly.

"Good, a hand job can be very good. Levi, what's up?"

"I don't know. I just- agh. I don't know. I suppose I just don't like hearing about other guys using you. And I know this Bert guy isn't using you, I'm just scared that he might end up doing just that. I'm a cop, I see the absolute worst in people." I didn't know what to think. Did Levi find my relationship, dare I say it, disquieting?

"I don't think cops are meant to say stuff like that, Levi. Let's talk about something else. We only have forty-five minutes." Converstion came easily after that, and all awkwardness was left behind. But I still felt weird going home that night. Levi's words stuck in my head, did they mean something? Or was he just being a concerned friend? Part of me wanted to believe that is was the former.

For the second time that day, the thought of Levi's hands on my body, on my cock, made me come hard and fast.

Chapter Text

I had learned, in my four years of being a police officer, that work did not get easier the more you did it. In fact, it got worse. Much, much worse. There were things I enjoyed, intimidating and chasing people being two of them (talk about sadistic). But all in all, doing the same thing day in, day out got a little more than painful. I liked routine, I loved routine, but sometimes work was just too fucking much for me.

While I'm complaining, I'll also mention that being with Hange everyday was fucking hell. All I heard all fucking day, every fucking day was 'have you slept with Eren yet?' Uh, no, because the kid is busy screwing someone else even though he'd look so fucking good perched on my cock-

Nope. Not going there. Sure, Eren was gorgeous, completely out of this world gorgeous, but he was just my friend. My friend who danced half naked in my lap when we hung out, but hey, he got twenty dollars for it. Eren never got dressed when I was in his dressing room. It was distracting, especially because the kid couldn't just fucking sit still. Restless energy seemed to emanate from him, like the fizz that overflows from a freshly popped bottle of champagne. He was constantly throwing his long, tanned legs around, muscles flexing with every move, and jumping about, taunting me with his toned chest. Christ, I was horny for a child. He wasn't actually a child, at twenty-one, but he acted like one. After Hange, he laughed more than anyone I knew. And he was so full of personality, eyes bright with excitement, or at least they were when he wasn't on stage. That is- until four nights ago. I thought he was going to burst with excited energy, it almost made his messy hair stand on edge.

And the reason for Eren's newfound excitement was exactly why I was in such a bad mood. Eren had been on a date, and the guy gave him a hand job on the first date, classy, I know. I couldn't really comprehend why I was so fucking jealous. I didn't own Eren. I hadn't even know the kid a month. And I didn't have a crush on him! I wasn't a fifteen year old girl, for fuck sake. We had a purely platonic relationship. I knew that, and I didn't want more than that, yet I couldn't help the burning sensation in my chest when he told me about how happy he was, and how excited he was. A little part of me could sense there was more he wasn't telling me, something he was keeping hidden. Hange said I was jealous that he was getting some and I wasn't, but I sure as hell wasn't jealous because I couldn't get a date. I spent the former half of my twenties sleeping around, and my high school life doing much the same, except that was before I realised I was gay. Poor little Nathalie Anderson didn't expect me to come out to her as she gushed about how we were going to go to the same college, get married, and spend our lives together with our four beautiful children. Was I jealous of that Barry guy? Wait, no, not Barry. Brendan? Herbert? Bart? Bert? Bert! Was I jealous of him? I mean, anyone who got to touch any part of Eren was lucky, as I said before, he was insanely beautiful, but was I jealous that I couldn't touch him? I could have if I wanted to, easily. But I didn't have a crush on him, I'm a fucking grown man who graduated top of the academy. If it wasn't jealousy, it was just me being protective. Now, believe me when I say it wasn't in my nature to be protective over someone, unless I was seriously in love with them, and I learned that the hard way. I was territorial, sure, I didn't like people invading my space, or hanging around me (read: fuck the fuck off, Hange), and I hated people flirting with my friends (I mean, get a room, you disgusting fuckers!), but I wasn't protective.

I groaned out loud, Eren was fucking me sideways, and not the good type of fucking. I was in my apartment, siting on the two person couch. I had the day off, so I took it as an opportunity to clean my apartment. I lived in a moderate sized place, two bedrooms, one bathroom and an open living/kitchen space. The walls were painted a deep red, which matched the deep brown suite. All the cushions were mustard, or a light blue-toned grey. The floors were wooden, and there was a mustard rug under the glass coffee table. I had a small TV and a few tapes, as well as soon books on a cabinet against the wall, but nothing else. No pictures or painting, I had no need for them. I really didn't want to have to look at my family's faces everyday, any pictures were an extra item to clean. Not that I didn't like cleaning, but I also disliked excess clutter. It was already midday, and I spent the entire morning cleaning. I even had a specific outfit for it.

I was rambling at that stage, bored out of my mind. I considered calling Eren, even though I knew he would call me that night. It was something he started doing after Saturday, as soon as he was sure I was home after visiting him at the club, he'd call me. I wasn't sure why, part of me thought it was because he was lonely, but the conversations were never anything important, more like mindless chatter. Take for example, Monday night:

"Hey, Levi.'

"Hello, Eren. Everything okay?"

I sighed, but really, I didn't mind him calling me.

"Yeah, I just like talking to you, you give good advice."

"What do you need advice for?"

"I don't know, sometimes I need advice and I don't even realise it?"

"Are you sure you're okay? I can come over if you're not?"

"I'm fine. If you wanna hang up-"

"No. It's fine. Just wanna make sure. Let's talk about something. How's your boyfriend?" Why did I ask that? I didn't want to know about Bert.

"He's not my boyfriend." He said it softly, it was like he was right there, whispering in my ear. It sent shivers down my spine.

"Okay. How's Bert?"

"Okay. I like him, I think, but I'm afraid of getting into a serious relationship."

"Then don't make it serious. Why are you afraid? And what day you mean you think?"

There was silence for a minute before he whispered a reply.

"I think I'm still in love with Dominic, or at least I'm not ready to move on with just anyone. Marco just said to me that I should move on with someone and I rushed into it." Dominic had been mentioned to me briefly, all Eren said was that they broke up on bad terms before Eren moved. I didn't know much about Eren's home life, apart from the fact that it was bad.

"Eren, you don't have to get into a relationship with Bert if you don't want to. He doesn't have a right to be with you. If you're not ready, rushing into something new will only make you feel worse. If you think you're still in love with Dominic, take some time to get over him. Have some time for yourself, don't force yourself to find someone new. I know that people think rushing into a new relationship will help them fix the old one, but that's not the case at all. Talk to Bert, if he's a good guy, and you seem to think that he is, he'll understand." I heard sniffing on the other line, and suddenly my heart was in my throat. He wasn't crying, was he?

"Eren? Are you crying? I'm coming over. I'll be there in ten-"

"Don't!"

I paused in my tracks, and waited for him to finish.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want you putting yourself out for me. It's nearly midnight, and you probably have work tomorrow.

"Eren, I'm coming over. You can't stop me. You're sleeping at my place tonight, okay?" I hung up before he could reply. I felt like an idiot, but something told me that it would be better if we had that conversation face to face. And I didn't want to have it in his dingy apartment. He could sleep in my spare bedroom, have a decent meal and shower in the morning, and then cry his beautiful eyes out. It was exactly what I needed when I was his age, but no one did it for me. Even if no one gave a damn about me, Eren didn't deserve that.

I was at his place within fifteen minutes, and after five minutes of him pouting and trying to hide his crying face, he was in my car and were driving back to mine. He started crying half way, and I just let him be. Neither of us moved once I had parked. For the first time in a long time, I felt a pang in my chest. The poor baby gay, he didn't deserve that. Eren deserved diamonds and rubies and all the world had to offer. I wanted to gag at how caring I was being, but it seemed that whenever Eren was involved, I turned into a pile of mushy shit. Ew, mushy shit? Really? We waited in the car in silence, except for the noise of Eren's sobs. Eventually, I had to be somewhat forceful, and tug him out of the car and lead him inside. He sat down on the couch when I told him I was going to make hot chocolate, the crying seemed to have stopped for now. I gave him my favourite mug, it was big and round and got just hot enough that it warmed your hands, but didn't burn them.

"Here you go," I muttered as I sat down, placing one leg under me. He mumbled some sort of an awkward thank you and sipped the drink, flinching a little at its heat. He put the mug down slowly, clearly afraid of spilling anything in my pristine apartment.

"I'm sorry." He whispered softly after a few moments. I sighed, looking up at him. His big, sea green eyes were bloodshot from crying, and I could see his emotions swirling around in them. I hadn't seen anyone is such despair since I was twenty-five. His hair looked like a rag, and he was wearing pyjamas, a loose sweatshirt with some navy bottoms.

"It's okay. I'm only doing the right thing. Do you want to talk? Or just shower and sleep? I'll loan you some nice fresh pyjamas. Those ones could do with a wash." I heard him choke a little, the sort that just sort of slips out when you're trying your very hardest not to cry, but alas, it happens anyway. I moved over so that I was closer to him. My fingers itched to reach out and hug him. What was this kid doing to me?

"Can we talk?" He managed. I nodded. Hot tears were already slipping down his face, and he laughed a little as he wiped them away. "Christ, I'm a mess." He was silent for a second, but then started talking.

"My parents kicked me out because I'm gay. They forced me to drop out of college and move away because they couldn't stand having a 'faggot for a son'. It was Dominic who they caught me with. We were just kissing, but that's enough really. I never really said goodbye to him, and I ignored all his calls and pleas. I just sort of cut him out before I moved. I thought it would be easiest. I was wrong. I haven't seen him since the day we were caught. I haven't seen my parents since that weekend. Or my sister and my best friend. That's why I live in such a shit place, I didn't move to start my own life, and my family aren't poor. I didn't have a choice. Then, a few days ago, Mikasa called me, and I was so happy to talk to her but it brought it all up. And Marco saying to move on, and Jean said that Bert said I was cute. I felt jumbled up. As soon as I asked Bert out, I knew I shouldn't have, and I instigated the sexual stuff honestly just to not have to talk to him anymore. If he was giving me a handjob, I didn't have to talk, you know? But now I'm involved, and I don't want to be, but I don't want to be alone" He looked at me once he had finished, his eyes were scrunched up a little, it looked unbelievably cute.

"C'mere." I whispered and pulled him down to me. He lay beside me, head on my chest. He was still sniffing, but at least the crying had calmed down. "You're parents are assholes. I won't apologise for saying that, and you shouldn't want me to. They're complete assholes, and homophobic ones too. Anyone who won't love you because you love guys doesn't deserve you. What they did to you was horrible, there's no other word for it. You should've been able to finish college and move in with Dom and get a job. Instead you're stuck with a shitty apartment, a shitty job, and you have to work for Erd and stress about your relationship. It's not right. No one can force you into a relationship Eren, you can speak to Bert and explain the situation to him. If he doesn't react well, you can quite literally get the cops after him."

"I know it's not. I keep blaming myself for it too. If I wasn't gay, I wouldn't be a disappointment to them." He gripped my t-shirt and sighed. I had spent a few painful months thinking the same thing before as soon as I became a cop. Blaming myself for something I couldn't control, thinking I was wrong for loving people. It was horrible.

"Eren, don't think like that. You're not a disappointment for being who you are. I get that you're in a difficult place right now, but don't let yourself think like that. I did, and wasted four months of my life in the process." He didn't speak for a minute, and buried his head further into my chest instead. I was running my hands through his silky hair when he decided to start speaking again.

"My parents are devout Roman catholic, you know." He paused, and thought for a second. "I was raised in the church too, but it just never meant much to me, or Mikasa. But my parents, wow. There also weren't many Roman Catholic people in the area, given that it's more of a European religion anyway. We had to go to mass every Sunday, prayers in the morning, before meals, before bed. The whole thing. And of course, we were raised hearing that being gay is wrong, sex before marriage is wrong, sex for any reason other than to make babies is wrong. You know, my dad had Irish relatives, like his great-grandmother or something. His grandmother came to America to escape Ireland after the potato famine, and because it wasn't exactly paradise living under English rule. But anyway, he always told us, if she hadn't left America, we'd have been raised in Ireland, where the priests are known to visit people's homes if they aren't having children in case they were using contraception, because it's literally illegal. So that was the kind of environment I grew up in. So, it's hard to remove the homophobia from that because it's so ingrained into me." I got the feeling from him that he just wanted to get it off his chest, more than discuss it in detail, so I countered with something from my past. 

"My parents are French. My name's actually Rivaille. I lived in France until I was twelve, I'm fluent. My dad didn't move with me and my mom, though. Once I reached graduation, my mom decided to give my dad another chance, so she moved back to France. I took a year out before going to the academy. Now I'm a grumpy old policeman, who happened to be short as well." Eren let out a little laugh, and I did too. He sat up then, his green eyes were red and puffy, but the little smile and there was a little smile on his lips from my joke. He moved so that he was sitting with one leg under him and took another sip from his hot chocolate.

"Are you actually fluent?" He asked, I nodded and smirked at him. "Prove it." He challenged.

"J'essaie de mon mieux ne pas t'embrasser." I told him, smirking . He looked at me, pouting, and his eyebrows furrowed.

"What did you say?" He asked.

"Secret." I replied.

"Levi!" He drawled. "I can speak a little German, my mom was German."

"Go on, then."

"Eh, it's only a little, and she taught me when I was six. You can't laugh." I nodded and signalled for him to go on, "eh, ich heiße Eren und ich bin einunzwanzig Jahre alt. Ich spreche night gut Deutsch." His accent was sort of broken, and he wouldn't look me in the eye as he spoke. Still, hearing him speak German sent a shiver down my spine.

"What was that middle sentence? After your name. I got the other two."

"I'm twenty-one." He was still fiddling with his thumbs a bit, but he looked better than he did earlier. "You should probably go to bed, Levi, you have work tomorrow, don't you?"

"I don't mind staying up, besides, I'd like to hear more of that German." He laughed, but it was forced. The blush, however, that rose to his cheeks wasn't. I got up and grabbed the mugs of cold hot chocolate and threw them down the sink.

"Want another?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.

"Just water, please." I nodded and cleaned out the mug, putting them away once I had dried them. I filled up a glass of water for him and fell back down on the couch beside him.

We talked until 2a.m, when Eren's voice got tired, and even softer than usual. He closed his eyes at some point, and his breathing began to grow steady. His replies turned into one word sentences and he'd laugh at anything. Eren was adorable when he was tires.

"Come on, mon ami, let's get you to bed." I groaned as I stood, and pulled Eren off the couch. He was like putty in my hands as I walked him towards the spare bedroom, and fell asleep as soon as I tucked him under the covers.

"Night Levi, thank you." He mumbled as he pulled the duvet up right under his chin. He was asleep by the time I reached the bedroom door.

That was how Eren ended up staying at my place until Wednesday. After his show at the club on Tuesday, it was sort of an unspoken agreement that he was staying another night, just in case. But on Wednesday morning, after breakfast, he said he was going home. He wasn't working that night either, so I wouldn't hear from him until Friday, unless he called me.

He didn't. So, Friday evening, I go backstage before the show, just to check on him. What I walked in on was him making out with his boyfriend. My mind went to an instant panic. Why is Eren kissing that guy? Why is he enjoying it? Why isn't he pushing him off and coming running to me? What? What?' And I was forced to snap out of my daydream when Eren cleared his throat, holding himself awkwardly.

"Sorry Levi, I didn't think you'd be here. This is Bert- my boyfriend." He sad the last part with purpose, as if to tell me I'm okay. I didn't buy it, but maybe that was because I didn't want to. Bert looked at me, clearly waiting for an official introduction.

"Hi Bert. I'm Levi, a friend of Eren's." Bert smiled at me and reached a hand forward. I shook it, but something told me not to trust him. Then again, something told me not to trust anyone. My subconscious, I'm pretty sure. "Nice you to meet you, as Eren said, I'm his boyfriend. Bertolt Hoover." His smile was fake as hell, this guy obviously didn't like me. Good thing too, I didn't like him either. Tacky, cheap bastard. Fuck him. There was an awkward silence before the vacuum cleaner spoke again.

I'm going on soon, I'll see you after." He leaned down and kissed Eren. It was soft, and made something in my stomach twist. Fucking cunt, little shit, waste of space asshat-

"Levi? You doing okay? You look constipated." He smirked at his own joke, and I rolled my eyes, pretending that I didn't find it funny.

"Fuck you, brat. I'm just here to make sure you're okay, but it seems that you're doing a-o-fucking-kay." He blushed, and scratched the back of his neck.

"Uh, yeah, I decided to just get over my whole emotional meltdown, and relationship fear. I'm diving in, testing the waters, all that. Thanks though, for letting me stay over, and for being such a great friend. I appreciate it..." Eren looked at me awkwardly, before moving across the room and grabbing me in a soft hug. The words great friend stung for some reason. "Sorry, I know this isn't your thing, it's just, eh, there hasn't been anyone there for me in a while. Thank you. Really." I let out a gentle sigh at his confession, and reached up an arm to wrap around his back. I gripped him to me in the least sexual way possible. I could feel his breathing on my neck.

"Eren, I'll always be here. I'm your friend, okay?" I squeezed him tighter for a second before pulling back. He looked precious, as if he was about to cry with joy. It brought a smile to my face, a real one. He blushed a bit at that. I let out a gentle laugh and ruffled his hair quickly.

"Shitty brat. I'm gonna go sit down. Want me to come back after?" He looked at me awkwardly.

"I'm actually going to Bert's tonight. We're going straight after I preform. I'm really sorry. He was really insistent about it." I grimaced, especially when he said that Bert was insistent. That didn't sound good.

"Eren, don't let him make you do anything you don't want to do. He's your boyfriend, not your owner." I told him sternly.

"I know, I know! Now shoo, it down you old midget-"

"Oi! Idiot kid."I retorted as he all but shoved me out the door. I sighed, and walked towards the my usual seat. I really didn't want to watch Bert, or any other guy. Eren was on fourth, after Bert, Eren's friend Marco, and some guy called Reiner. I was so not interested. Sure, they were good, and attractive, but I was only here to support Eren, and to make his job easier. He could still straddle me and do all that incredibly hot stuff that he had to do, and know that I wasn't some old creep who'd try to touch him. And usually we'd get to talk after, but now his good-for-nothing boyfriend was getting in the way. Fucking cockblocking bastard.

I sighed once more as Bert walked on stage. My eyes slid across the stage, barely even looking at him. He was fake. I mean, Eren's performance was fake, but under it all, he loved it. It had become apparent recently that he actually loved the attention. He loved controlling the room. And boy did Eren control the room. It was impossible to look away when he was dancing around. He could control the whole world with those eyes, that smile, and that body. He knew it too, or at least he was realising it. I looked back up to see Bert thrusting his hips in the tackiest way I had ever seen. Was he a horny fifteen year old, or a twenty-something year old stripper? Christ. Was he dancing to Eren's song? It was some shitty 80's song, I didn't even know who sang it. Eren was the only guy I had ever seen dance to it. I felt a tic in my jaw, I really didn't like this guy. Not one bit. Hange would call me such a child if she knew. Oh my god, she'd probably say that I had a crush on Eren. Which I didn't. When I first met him, I was attracted to him, but I had soon realised that I didn't have any romantic feelings for him. I cared about him, which was weird for me, considering we had only known each other for a short amount of time, but I did care about him.

Bert would be finished soon, but there were still two more guys before Eren. I could see the manager, Erd, staring at me. That guy was a creep. But there I was, sitting and waiting. The things we do for friendship.

God, that was cheesy.

At least I'd have a story for Hange.

Chapter Text

After the show ended, Bert came into my room. I saw Levi throw daggers towards the side of the stage as I walked down the corridor to the changing rooms, and bit my lip, the two had only just met and already Levi disliked him. 

"What's up Bert?" I asked, putting on a sickly sweet voice. It was something Levi, or Mika, or Armin would have picked up on. Even Marco or Jean. But not Bert. The idea was sad to me, but in this moment I was thankful we did not have a deep enough relationship for him to notice.

"Just wondering if you want to stay at mine tonight? I don't like you walking home on your own." I smiled at Bert, he was sweet at heart. 

"Yeah, sure. A sleepover sounds like fun. Just let me wrap up here, I'll go to your room when I'm ready to leave." He smiled adorably and moved towards me, planting a quick peck on my cheek before leaving. I felt my body relax once he closed the door. Why would I agree to a sleepover? Why did I agree to be his boyfriend? I already regretted telling Levi we couldn't talk tonight. I would have preferred to be going to his place tonight, not Bert's. Oh my God, not like that. I just wished I was sleeping in Levi's spare room.

I changed back into my clothes and straightened up the room. It was automatic now for me to fix the room, knowing Levi hated a mess. It was funny, the ways in which people could integrate themselves into our lies so rapidly without us even knowing it. Once I had finished, I made my way down the hall to Bert's room, and knocked on the door.

"Hey, darlin'," Bert greeted me in a horrendous Texan accent, leaning against the door frame. I giggled at him and walked into his room fully. He was clearly ready to go, his room organised for tomorrow. Neat freak. I walked over to him and placed my arm over his shoulders.

"Hey cowboy," I grinned as I leaned down to kiss his cheek before standing back up. "Ready to go? I am." Bert nodded at me and stood from his chair slowly. Before he could even announce that we were leaving, I was bounding out the door towards his car. It was comfortable being with him, sure. But it didn't feel right, it didn't feel electric. But it felt comfortable? Maybe the electricity would come with time? 

"Catch me if you can!" I shouted back at him, hoping he wouldn't notice the sadness in my eyes.

~*~

"You can just sit down. I'll throw a frozen pizza in the oven. Coke or beer?" Bert asked as he flicked on the lights. His apartment looked a little messy, but I didn't care. It wasn't as nice as Levi's, I noticed. While Levi's apartment was cleaner than a hospital clinic, it still seemed lived in. Comfortable.

"A coke, please. Save the beer until the cheesy nighttime television." Bert laughed a little and disappeared into the kitchen area. I did as I was told and sat down on the couch. I made myself comfortable even though the sofa was a little hard. I heard some noise from the kitchen, the freezer door closing, the oven opening. I struggled to keep my eyes open as Bert walked back into the living room, and before I knew it, I was asleep.

~*~

I was shaken awake by Bert, and the first thing that hit my senses was the smell of pizza.

"Morning sunshine." My half asleep self muttered. "It's nice to see you." I heard Bert chuckle at me, and I smiled, my eyes still closed. I felt Bert pull me into a sitting position, and eventually I managed to open my eyes. Bert must have turned the lights down, because the apartment was almost black. He had put the pizza on a plate in front of me, and in that moment, I was more attracted to the pizza than I was Bert. I took a slice as Bert pour out two glasses of wine. I almost snorted and choked on my pizza but managed to restrain myself.

"Store bought pizza, and cheap wine. You're a romantic." I continued laughing as Bert rolled his eyes and sat back. He flicked on a lamp as I looked hesitantly at the wine. Didn't I say I just wanted a soda? I shook it off, assuming he was just trying to create an ambiance.

We fell into a comfortable silence, sipping wine at varying intervals. The TV was turned on, but muted. Some random movie was on, totally something stoned kids in my old dorm were watching right now, and some pretty white woman was being murdered, fake blood gushing. Original, I know. After a few moments, the silence was broken by Bert. We finished out meal in about double the time it should have taken between making up our own dialogue for the movie, Bert leaning over to make out and unnecessary wine refills. By the end of the pizza, I was nearing tipsy and most definitely on my way towards plastered.

Bert seemed less drunk than me. 

It was already late, like nearing 2am, and Bert was cracking open a second bottle of wine. I smirked as he poured the second glass and went to turn on some music. I generously added to my glass as I heard the music start. My neck twisted so fast that I nearly got whiplash when I heard Madonna start playing.

"Are you playing my songs? Oh my god, I hate you. Oh my god." Bert laughed at me and swaggered back over to the sofa while I buried my face in a sofa cushion.

"I asked Marco to give me a list of your usual songs, and made a tape. Sorry." He said, even though he sounded remarkably unapologetic. He gave me a look, and I could tell what he wanted.

"Nope. No. Never, I'm not stripping in your living room. I'm not that drunk. Not happening, soldier." He pouted but then grinned as he picked up the wine bottle.

"Well we'll have to change that, won't be?" He said while laughing and filling what little room remained in my wine glass. 

"I didn't think you wanted to get hammered tonight, Bert" I took a sip to prevent the wine glass from overflowing. Maybe I was reading into it too much, but he was getting awfully pushy with the alcohol. I knew I could handle a few drinks, but we were pushing my limit at this stage. I tried to take a few deep breaths, and wished even more than I had earlier than I had gone home with Levi. He made me hot chocolate and gave pep talks, instead here I was getting fed cheap wine and pizza. Normally, yeah, nothing to complain about, but the circumstances were different here. I was still only adjusting to the idea of dating Bert in the first place. 

"A bit of wine never hurt anyone!" Bert laughed, collapsing back down on the couch beside me. 

We somehow got through another bottle of wine, and halfway through a third. By three a.m, I was on my way to drunk, and Bert wasn't too far behind me. He had consumed a large amount of the wine in between leaning down to give me sloppy kisses. He tasted and smelled like chardonnay. Something in the back of my brain said to get the hell out. Make up a stomach ache and leave, but the alcohol had turned down the volume on that part of my brain, making it sound like it was talking at me from the next room. Basically, easy enough to ignore. Bert continued to kiss me, putting one of his hands on my thigh, the other around me on the back of the couch. 

"Let's take this to the bedroom." He whispered through the haze of alcohol. I flinched at hearing him try to coax me. Even if I wasn't experiencing all my personal drama, I definitely wasn't ready for sex. I didn't get a chance to respond before Bert leaned back down to take my mouth with his. He was a good kisser, I had to give it to him, and I almost convinced myself to let him do what he wanted, but that was definitely the alcohol speaking. It was a few minutes before we came up for air, breathing heavily into each other.

"Let's go," he whispered, "I want to get those clothes back off you." I laughed awkwardly, lowering my head away from his.

"I'm not sure, Bert. We've had a lot to drink." His hand gripped tighter on my thigh.

"Oh what's a few glasses of wine. Come on, you were more than happy to get into bed the other day." His hand slid up my thigh and he started trying to feel me up through my trousers. Ouch. That one stung. So clearly, he had decided he could just have me whenever he wanted me. I tucked my face into my shoulder facing away from him. I really didn't know how to get out of this. Back home, if someone tried to force me into something, I would just punch them in the face. But Bert was my boyfriend, my colleague. I couldn't risk Marco and everyone one turning on me, or Erd firing me. 

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," I said, pretending to laugh, "you go get set up, I just have to make a quick call to my sister. It'll be two seconds, can I borrow your phone?" I said in a sickly sweet tone. He stood up and turned towards the bedroom, turning to smile at me over his shoulder.

"Sure thing, sugar. Phone is by the couch. Don't keep me waiting." As soon as he was out of sight, I jumped onto the phone, praying that in my drunken state, I had the number right. The dial tone filled me with hope, and I felt time slow down with each ring, praying it would connect.

"Hello..?" A tired, barely awake voice spoke. Thank fucking god. I recognised it immediately, I had gotten the number right.

"Levi? I'm so sorry. It's Eren, calling fro Bert's house. I need your help-"

"What the fuck did he do? Are you okay?" He sounded remarkably more awake now, and I felt bad for waking him at nearly four a.m. I was fighting through the drunk haze to talk straight.

"I'm okay. I'm drunk, Bert kept giving me wine. He wants to have sex, I said I didn't think it was a good idea and he told me I shouldn't mind because of the other day. I want to punch him out but I can't, we work together. And if I go into his room now, I'm going to have to have sex with him. I barely even know what part of town I'm in to walk home. Please, just help me." It took me a second to realise I was choking up, I heard a deep breath on the other side of the phone, and distantly, I could hear Bert calling my name,

"Eren, listen to me, I need Bert's address, and then I will be there in ten minutes. Ten minutes. Do not let him do anything you don't want to do. I just need the address." I took a breath, trying to think straight. I needed to get off the phone, fast, or Bert would get suspicious.

"It's Utgard Castle, about ten minutes from the mall. Number 307. The building that looks out onto the high school campus-"

"I know the one. Hange had a girlfriend that lived there. Seven minutes, Eren." He hung up then, and I turned around. I walked slowly towards the bedroom, figuring I could buy myself time before Levi arrived. There was some quiet music playing, still the tape of my set. Seriously? Even after I had said no to dancing. Jeez. Drunk Bert was an asshole.

"Eren, I was wondering what was taking so long." Bert crossed the room and wrapped his arms around me before I could say anything. Surely, by know it was six minutes. Bert dipped down to kiss me, parting my lips with his tongue, and backed me towards the bed. The mattress hit the back of my knees, and I felt my back hit the mattress with a satisfying thud. He was on top of my now, kissing my neck. His breath felt hot on my skin.

"Bert, I really think we should talk about this. We've had so much to drink-" He silenced me by kissing me again, his hand crawling up my shirt, brushing over my abdomen.

"Don't worry about it, Eren. You're overthinking." I tried to respond, but was jolted out of reality when we heard a pounding on the door. Bert jumped off the bed in confusion and looked around him, as if expecting the source of the banging to be coming from inside the bedroom itself. I stared up at ceiling, feeling my heart pond in every cell of my body. Bert wavered in his drunken stance before stumbling towards his bedroom door. The pounding started again, louder now that the bedroom door was open. I heard shouting, and it took my brain a second to dial back into this planet before I could process it. It had hardly been five minutes since I had gotten off the phone. There was surely no way it was Levi, even in a cop car, there's no way he cold have drive that fast without breaking a multitude of the laws he was supposed to enforce. But then I heard the shouting again:

"Chicago Police Department. Open the fuck up or I'll break this fucking door down!"

It had only been four minutes. 

Chapter Text

Levi's Perspective

Sometime around 3a.m

In my dream, my phone was ringing, loudly. This was about illogical as something could be, given that in my dream, I was battling giant, naked, deformed monsters, alongside everyone from the precinct. We were outdoors (seems obvious really, I doubt the giant monsters fit through your average size door), amongst rolling green hills, crayon blue skies, and pine trees waving in the breeze, their branches dancing in the clouds. If the aforementioned monsters hadn't been there, it would have been picturesque. So like I said, the phone ringing didn't really fit the image, and a few more seconds passed before enough action potentials fired in my brain to raise me into the land of the living. I woke slowly and then all at once, the sound of my phone ringing in the real world eliciting enough panic in me to shoot adrenaline even down into my fingertips. I had a phone in my bedroom in case, like now, someone ever tried to contact me in the middle of the night.

The phone, Levi, answer the phone!

I wasn't awake enough to process the time, but the darkness filling my room clued me in enough to the fact that it was still night time. I picked up the receiver and tried to croak out some sort of greeting. In return, I was met with Eren's panicked voice on the other end,

"I'm okay. I'm drunk, Bert kept giving me wine. He wants to have sex, I said I didn't think it was a good idea and he told me I shouldn't mind because of the other day. I want to punch him out but I can't, we work together. And if I go into his room now, I'm going to have to have sex with him. I barely even know what part of town I'm in to walk home. Please, just help me." He was choking up, and I was beginning to bubble over with rage. I fucking knew that guy was bad news, and now he was trying to force my Eren into having drunken sex with him.

Wait, did I just say my Eren? Okay, ignore that part. Two minutes ago, I was unconscious and battling monsters with my best friends in a scene straight from National Geographic. 

Focus, Levi.

Eren was clearly hammered, he slurred out the vague vicinity of Bert's address, and I shifted focus to getting clothes on my body and getting the fuck out of my apartment as fast as my body would allow. Uniform, or no uniform? Uniform would elicit more fear, but could also get me in a lot of trouble, given that I wasn't actually working. On the flip side, my boss has been my best friend for ten years, and every second that passed while I had this internal monologue was a second that Eren was still in that apartment, with that shitface bastard Bert. Uniform it is. Thankfully, I was nearly 30 years old and so had the foresight to fold and organise all my clothes, and getting dressed took a fraction of a minute. I was nearly certain something was inside out, or I was missing a sock or something, but the sheer adrenaline pumping through my veins propelled me out my door and down to the parking lot of my building.

Utrecht castle, the building looking over the high school, number 307. Hange had a girlfriend once, about four years ago, who lived there, and I often ended up being tasked with collecting her drunk ass at 4am, or picking her up when they broke up for the four hundredth time. Petra, I think. Soft, kind, and apparently had a kink for psychos. I was on the road quickly, speeding towards Eren as fast as I could, while still trying to ensure that I got there alive. I contemplated putting the sirens on, to make sure other patrolling cops wouldn't pull me over. The roads were quiet, but drunken twenty-somethings stumbled out of bars as their lights shut off, shoulder-to-shoulder, surrendering to the cold of night-time Chicago. Underpaid bartenders shifted empty kegs onto the pavement, ready for tomorrow's staff. My traffic light turned red, and I realised I had been holding my breath, unable to release it until the light turned green, and I accelerated so hard, my car growled at me in response. I could see the top of Bert's building from here, only one or two more turns away. A left here, now straight, no wait, it's a right, fuck, fuck, thank god there's no cab drivers behind me.

At the door of Bert's building, I abandoned my car half on the pavement. The building had a twenty-four hour doorman, but all I got from him was a stiff not, confirmation that the uniform was the correct choice. The elevator was on the seventh floor, and I was willing to bed I could run the three flights of stairs faster than that, and I so I started my ascension. My heart was pounding, and I could run 10 miles without barely breaking a sweat, so I suspected it was more to do with my anxiety around what would be behind Bert's door when I got there. Third floor, at last. Generic fake plant, and peeling wallpaper. What way was 307? I took a quick glance at the door and turned left, stopping outside Bert's door and taking a deep breath, trying to regain my composure, before raising a fist to his door. At first, there was no response, and I felt cold electricity shoot through me, like someone had pored ice water over me. I pounded on the door again, this time shouting for someone inside to open up. Still, no response, but with my ear to the door, I could hear someone inside shuffling around. Dear God, what if this dude was a serial killer, and was chopping up my Eren into little pieces.

Fuck, did I saw my Eren again?

With a renewed conviction, due to my serial killer awakening, I pounded on the door one last time:

"Chicago Police Department. Open the fuck up or I'll break this fucking door down!"

And then, finally, the door opened before me, and a tall, disheveled brunette appeared before me, so drunk he was hanging onto the door frame.

Where was Eren?

Chapter Text

Eren's Perspective - Bert's Apartment - Sometime near 4am

From Bert's bed, over the sound of my thumping heart, and through the alcohol fog that had taken shelter over my cerebrum, I could barely hear the interaction between Bert and Levi. There didn't appear to be any shouting, or any clear indication of violence, so I took that as a good sign. I waited for about a minute or two, staring up at the beige ceiling as it began to spin, suddenly very aware of every cotton fibre of Bert's comforter pressed into my skin before I decided it best to get up and see what the situation was. Surely the escape would be easy enough, did Bert even recognise Levi?

I padded out to the living room, doing my best not to trip and break my nose, and grabbed my shoes from where they had been tossed, somewhere back around 1.30a.m. I moved quietly, trying not to disturb the conversation happening at the door. It took roughly an elephant sized amount of concentration to hear their conversation through the fog, but even in my drunken state, I could feel Levi's eyes on me across the room.

"Well, as I was saying Mr Hoover, we received a noise complaint from one of your neighbours. Something about overly loud music, and movement inside the apartment outside of socially acceptable hours. I can see you have a guest over-", Levi gestured to me, and Bert turned to observe me collecting my belongings, "maybe he's the explanation for the noise? I gather he doesn't live here. Perhaps it's best that I give him a ride home, and you postpone the party to another night." I thanked whatever god was above for Levi's slick execution, and shifted towards the door in anticipation of finally getting out of here.

"Officer..?" Bert started, not remembering Levi's name. Either Bert was too drunk to remember that he met Levi literally about eight hours ago, or he just didn't realise it was the same person.

"Ackerman." Levi responded, his tone was full of venom.

"Ackerman, right. Officer Ackerman, with all due respect, I'm not totally sure you have the right to remove a guest of mine due to a noise complaint. You know Eren is my boyfriend, so surely you know I'm not holding him here under any sort of duress. We can chalk this down to music being a bit too loud, and I'll make sure you get a free drink next time you're at the club for your troubles." So Bert had recognised Levi, my heart leapt up into my throat, I felt like I was in a wildlife documentary, hiding in the bush and watching two animals stalk each other, unsure who is predator and who is prey. I looked to Levi, and our eyes met across the door. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe even a trick of the light, but I thought I saw his eyes soften in a way that made my lungs deflate.

"Ah, Bert, if you don't mind, I actually will take that ride home," Bert turned to look at me, a mixture of shock and confusion settling on his face, "I'm beat, and that wine is really starting to hit me. Besides, I don't want to get you into any trouble with your neighbours or your super. Maybe sometime next week?" I shrugged, now halfway out the door, shoes still in my hand. Bert opened his mouth to respond, but before he could get a chance, Levi had grabbed the doorknob and was swinging the door shut.

"You heard him, Bert, he wants to go. Good-fucking-night, asshole" He sniped, and the door clicked behind us. We said nothing, but Levi put his arm behind my back to gesture that we make our way towards the stairs. I felt my shoulders drop in relief, and I then realised that I had been the prey, and there were two predators fighting to win me. We stayed quiet the whole walk to the car, and I pretended not to notice Levi yawning, his under eye bags more sunken than usual. He nodded to the doorman, who, for the sake of my dignity I suppose, did not acknowledge me behind him, with my shoes still dangling by my thighs. Levi opened the car door for me, and I sat in, leaning back against the headrest. I waited for him to get in the drivers side, seeing him slump in what was probably exhaustion, before I turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry," it was barely above a whisper, I'm surprised he even heard me. But he clearly did, as he whipped his head to the left to look at me, eyes sharp.

"Eren, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad you called me, I'd rather have to do a late night call-out to get you out of a bad situation, than end up in court for murdering that fuckface Bert if he'd actually gotten the chance to do anything to you. You've got nothing to worry about now, except for deciding if you want to sleep in your place, or mine." I breathed for a minute, feeling muddled by everything going on in my head. I was angry at Bert for being an advantageous asshole, but even more so, I was angry at myself for not handling the situation alone. I was twenty-one, physically fit, and if my high school years had taught me anything, it was that I was well able to defend myself from bullies, but in Bert's apartment, and realistically, since I had gotten to the city, every bit of me that was confident or courageous had melted away like December snow in February. All that was left was a puddle of murky water, slipping into the cracks in the concrete pavement. 

"Eren...?" Levi touched my forearm gently, bringing me back to this plane. 

"Sorry, zoned out. Is your place okay?" He nodded, and turned to face forward, turning the key in the ignition. The roads were eerily quiet, only the odd delinquent who stayed out too late after the bars closed wandered the streets. As we got closer to Levi's apartment, which when driving a respectable speed, was only about eight minutes away, I felt my body return to normal. Clearly the adrenaline of everything had worn off, and I felt my eyelids get heavy as Levi parked his car in the underground parking lot.

"Come on princess, I'm not carrying you." Levi joked as he undid his seatbelt and lifted himself out of the car. I let out a small laugh, doing the same and following him out. We walked upstairs in silence again, the tiredness hitting us both. I had been in these hallways many times before, between visiting Marco, and my recent stays with Levi, but walking with him, as the sun began to contemplate rising, after calling him to my rescue, it just felt different. I stayed silent until we reached his living room, me sitting on the couch, and him standing about two feet away, my brain so full that I was too scared to open my mouth, lest every thought I'd ever had came pouring out all at once.

"If you're always this quiet after midnight, I suggest we only hand out then from now on. You're far more tolerable." Levi tease me, I could tell his joke was an olive branch, him testing the waters. I made a face at him, and his expression softened in a way that only someone close to him would have even noticed.

"Can I like... rant to you for a second?" I asked him, he raised an eyebrow at me, the corner of his mouth every so slightly raised, in an amused anticipation of whatever I was about to say next. He just noted, and I took that to mean fire away, shitface.

"So like... Obviously you've only know be, well, like, let's call it two weeks. But like, in a way, the me that you know, is so not me at all." His eyes narrowed slightly, I guessed that he couldn't really tell where I was going with this, so he sat down, and motioned for me to continue. "In college, and even in high school, I was the loudmouth - and I know you're going to say I'm a loudmouth still, but just let me finish. I was outgoing, and confident, and no one ever tired to push me or my friends around because they knew I'd beat the shit out of them and still make it to my next class. I was funny, and people liked me, and I guess I just had something, you know? I didn't second guess everything, I didn't quiver if a cop in a convenience store asked me my name. I didn't feel the need to ask a random guy out just for the sake of not being alone. I guess, I think I'm trying to say anyway, is that I want that back. I want to go back to having something. I'm sick of being ashamed of everything I do and every thought I have." I looked up at Levi, his eyes on me, steeling himself to reply. He took a breath, and sat forward an inch, closing the gap between us just enough that I could feel the weight of his knee press against my own, a spark shooting up to my centre at the feeling of it. He looked at me dead on, and I was too captivated to even blind.

"Eren," he exhaled, like he was still trying to string the sentences together, "everyone feels a little fucked up at your age. College is lie this cocoon where people express themselves, meet friends, experiment, and then suddenly you're thrown out into the real world, and most of the time, you land straight on your fucking ass. Now, you're even more disadvantaged than most, because you got thrown out by the very people that are meant to love you. It's okay to feel like you lost something, because you did. But don't for one fucking second let that take away your courage or your confidence, because that's not what you lost. You lost your family, your friends, your boyfriend-" I couldn't help but notice that he said boyfriend in a different tone, more hesitant, "but you did not lose who you are. You came out into the world on your own, and you're surviving. That's doing a pretty fucking good job if you ask me. Everyone fucks up and dates a shitface asshole every now and then. Don't let it knock you down." I could tell that was enough emotion for Levi, because he promptly sat back, my knee feeling cold in the absence of his. I nodded, not saying anything, but Levi let it go and stood up, looking down at me (for once).

"You've got it all going for you Eren. You're young, gorgeous, funny, and you've got some brain cells floating around in your skull. Not many, but there's definitely a couple. You'll be alright, and I'll be here to help dust you off when you get knocked down." I laughed at him then, only he could wrap and insult up like a present, his affection the shiny gold ribbon on top. "I'm heading to bed, the spare bed is made up, and if you need anything, just let me know." With that, he turned on his heel and walked towards his room, weariness in his steps. I stayed for a second, let him close the door, and did the same myself.

It took a while to get to sleep, the hangover starting to set in. When I closed my eyes, I could still see Bert, feel his skin on mine. It didn't give me electric shocks the same way Levi did, it just gave me a pit in my stomach, deeper than Lake Michigan itself. But once sleep came, it came on heavily, and I gladly accepted its weight over me. I dreamed of somewhere else, somewhere with pine trees that touched the sky, and rolling cotton candy clouds. Levi was there too, saying something about fighting giant monsters. 

------

I woke the next morning with a start, hearing noise coming from the kitchen. The smell of coffee creeped beneath the doorframe, and was intoxicating enough draw me out from under the melting heat of Levi's expensive duvet. I felt weary still, knowing Levi, it was probably early, as if he hadn't been up until nearly sunrise the night before. I paused at the bedroom door when I heard another voice from the living room.

"Ah, Levi!! What are you saying about getting rid of me? I want to meet Eren properly! We barely got to speak at the club last week." Female, at the club, so it must have been Hange.

"Hange, you fucking four-eyed moron, can you please leave my apartment and give me back that spare fucking key you stole. I called out of work to make sure Eren would be okay today, not to have a fucking pillow fight slumber party with you." My cheeks burned red, Levi had called in sick to work to mind me. The thought of him wanting to care for me made something primal in my stomach ache. 

"Levi!" Hange droned, I could even tell from my hideout in the bedroom that she was pouting at him, "I promise I won't scare him away, please just let me say hi! After all, I came over here thinking something was wrong with you, not that you were playing house with your crush," Hange shrieked and roared laughing, meanwhile all I could focus on was the work crush. Had Levi said something at one stage to make Hange think he had a crush on me? I couldn't decide if I wanted to know more, or if I wanted to sink into the ground and let the earth swallow me whole.

"Hange, I fucking swear I will kill you-" I could hear Levi make a break for Hange, so I decided to be brave and come out from the room, fearing for Hange's life if I didn't.

"Morning!" I half-shouted, hoping it would distract Levi enough that he would leave Hange alone. The two of them stopped in their tracks, Levi with a wooden spoon in his hand, raised and ready to strike, Hange ducked beneath a plate, howling with laughter, and turned to look at me. I suddenly felt very aware of my body, too long and lanky, squeezed into a pair of sweatpants Levi had loaned me. Hange peered at me through her narrow frames, a devilish smirk coming over her face. She bared her teeth like a wild animal, and I could see Levi put a hand to his face in exasperation, like he could predict that she was about to pounce.

And pounce she did.

Hange moved across the living room so fast, I barely had time to brace myself for impact. Her long arms wrapped around me and tightened - man, she was strong, and she led me towards the kitchen. My eyes met Levi's across the kitchen table and through the smell of vanilla coffee, and suddenly I couldn't even hear Hange anymore, too transfixed by the way the light danced around his iris, like molten metal. It was only when I saw him raise an eyebrow, waiting for me to respond to whatever question Hange had posed that I turned to look at her, feeling the crimson rise to my cheeks.

"Oh, sorry Hange, I zoned out for a second. It's nice to meet you too, properly, I suppose. I hope I'm not in the way, I can head home if the two of you have plans-" she shrieked in response, throwing her hands in air as if so horrified by what I had said, she couldn't even bare to touch me. Levi was clearly used to this behaviour, the noise only making him slightly twitch in annoyance. He moved to pour out some coffee, motioning the two of us to sit down.

"No, no, no, no, no, Eren. Screw Levi, I want to hang out with you, see what makes you tick. You've done a right number on our little Levi here, isn't that right?" She turned to look at him, he just responded by glaring at her. I don't even fully know what response I muttered, feeling too awkward to commit to any of the emotions I was feeling. It had taken me until that moment to realise how good Levi looked, clad in beige chinos, a white button up shirt, and navy knit jumper (always cold means always wear layers), the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, no doubt to ensure there was no mess. Hi hair looked slept on, but in a voluminous, windswept, sexy sort of way. Watching his work at the counter, I felt a very strong urge to wrap my arms around him and kiss his-

No. Absolutely not. Firstly, he's a friend. Secondly, while it was absolutely not going to be the case for much longer, I still technically, at that moment had a boyfriend. But even I couldn't deny that he looked damn good. 

"Eh, Levi, I think your boy-toy is ignoring me," Hange pondered as she extended a long, pale finger to poke me right in my blushed cheeks. I whipped my head around to meet her curious gaze, and Levi smacked her wrist with a spatula,

"He's not my boy-toy, bitch face, and don't touch him either. He's probably scared of you, who could fucking blame him." She pouted at that, retreating her wrist and cradling it, like a child would a fracture.

"Sorry, Hange. I just had a bad night last night, still a little out of it." She nodded at that and waved a napkin like a little white flag,

"Alright, I'll at least let you have coffee before I interrogate you." I think both Levi and I were thankful for that, though I'd need cosmic levels of caffeine to ever even approach a place of existence resembling Hange's. Levi had prepared breakfast bagels, with egg, ham, and cheese, and I happily scoffed down one, thankful for the silence that it brought. His coffee was damn good quality, it tasted rich and deep, and smooth, not too unlike the man who had made it. Hange and I helped clean up, or at least, helped as much as Levi would allow, stacking our plates neatly beside the sink so that he could wash them in classically meticulous Levi fashion. Hange and I sat back down, nursing the last of the pot of coffee. I prepared myself for her oncoming interrogation, knowing that there have surely been men before me that didn't survive.

"So, Eren, Levi told me you had a somewhat difficult situation with your boyfriend last night?" I heard the clatter of a plate in the sink, and muffled curses from Levi, he, like I, was stunned that she would go straight for the big guns. I hesitated, trying to formulate a coherent sentence to respond with,

"Um, yeah, you could say that. He was trying to take things further than I was comfortable with, and didn't really take no for an answer. Levi helped me deescalate the situation, and get out of there. I think, realistically, I'm probably going to have to dump him. I don't really even like him that much anyway." She nodded, digesting the material, and I saw her eyes slide from the back of Levi's head, and look me straight in the eyes.

"So, you needed help, and you called Levi? Wow, Levi is great and all, but even if I, after knowing him for, what? Ten years? If I needed help, I'd still call Erwin. Levi's great and all, but no sympathy, all work, no play" I could tell he was getting frustrated now, washing the plates in a particularly loud fashion. I smiled at Hange, understanding now everything Levi had said about her.

"I'm not sure," I replied, "Levi has really been there for me the last few weeks, I'm really lucky to have a man like him in my life. Besides, who else can say they have sleepovers with Chicago's shortest police officer?" Hange and I both laughed, as Levi turned around and began to shout expletives, and detail the ways in which he would kill us both. Hange took that as her cue, and bid us farewell, laughing the whole way down the hall. I suspect she wanted nothing more than to suss out what had happened last night, and was satisfied once she got her answer. I felt her absence then, the room suddenly feeling simultaneously much bigger, and much smaller now that it was just Levi and I. I left him finish the dishes in peace, my eyes trained on him the whole time, watching the way his muscles would dip and elongate as he moved, the way he would crane his neck every now and then, trying to shake off the stiffness of being nearly thirty and having stayed up all night.

"You know, I can feel you watching me," He said, as he grabbed the last plate in the pile. I dipped my head, mortified, could he really read me that well?

"I don't mind," he added, clearly feeling the absence of my gaze, "I don't work out four times a week for no one to notice how good I look." He turned, placing the last dish on the drying rack, and I swear something stabbed me right in the small intestine when his eyes met mine. "Ignore Hange, by the way, her dream is just to see me married off, she's even tried to set me up with perps before." I laughed at that, as Levi sat down opposite me.

"What's worse? Being set up with a perp, or being set up with me?" Levi pretended to ponder an answer, even hesitated a second.

"You, definitely you." I feigned offence, clutching my chest, and Levi smirked at me. "No," he added, "there's worse things I could imagine that ending up with you." Jesus and Mary above, how did he manage to say things like that while keeping a straight face? He opened his mouth, as if to add something else, but instead licked his lips and thought better of it. Even his lips looked good, soft, pink, and perfect for kissing.

Surely he felt this too? The magnetic force, like the gravitational pull between the moon and the ocean herself. He was certainly the moon, forcing wave after wave to roll through my entire body like the tide going to shore. He opened his mouth again, definitely not unaware of the way I was staring at him like a starving child being shown Thanksgiving dinner.

"Eren," he started, "would you like to go for dinner tonight?" My eyes shot up to meet his, desperate to get any sort of cue from them as to how he was feeling. Maybe that meant he did feel it too, whatever 'it' was.

"Yeah, yeah, of course I would. Any particular reason?" He paused a moment before responding, like he was trying to calculate the risk, before answering me.

"Not necessarily any reason, shithead, I'm nearly thirty, I don't do clubs or shitty bars when I hang out with my friends. I do classy diners at nice restaurants." I pretended to pout, hoping it would cover up my actual disappointment. "Besides, I can't take you on a real date until you break up with that shitty boyfriend of yours. Which by the way, I think you should do A-S-fucking-A-P."

There he goes again, sending waves through my entire body.

"As if I needed any more incentive to dump his sorry ass." 

The rest of the morning, and early afternoon, carried on in much the same fashion. We watched some TV, exchanged some thinly-veiled flirting, and Levi did his housework, which I imagine for him, was a non-negotiable. I had to go home eventually to get ready for our "not a real date", so I took the opportunity to walk home and do some good old fashioned thinking. The air was crisp but the morning chill had melted away by that stage. It was around lunch time, and so the streets were full of business men in pin-striped suits carrying brief cases, no doubt full of their own self-importance. Groups of teenage girls walked side by side, arms linked, and it looked cute, but come on. It's a busy sidewalk, let people through.

Wow, really growing breaking thinking there, Eren. 

I shook my head, trying to empty out the useless thoughts and turned my minds eye to the situation at hand. I had to break up with Bert, obviously, and I reckoned work the next day would be the best time, assuming he was working. Surely my fleeing his apartment with a police escort in the middle of the night was grounds enough, like hey, so I felt the need to get law enforcement to remove me from you place, and also, I never really liked you anyway, and you slut-shamed me, and I never even wanted to get freaky with you, I just did it so I didn't have to talk to you. Yeah, it doesn't exactly scream I want to be with you forever, does it?

But Levi, that was the real one to ponder. What the hell was going on with Levi? It wasn't nothing, obviously, given the way he made my heart pound and my stomach twist, like I was skydiving and on a roller coaster all at once. And he was so clearly incredibly gorgeous. Those silver eyes turn me into a puddle of molten lava, and, like he said himself, he works out. It was clear form the way his muscles rolled when he moved, and all I could think about was getting him to use those muscles on me-

Okay, that's inappropriate thinking for daytime television.

Then the thought I was really trying to avoid struck me - Dom. Mikasa had told me he was heartbroken I had left, and I could guarantee I was twice as heartbroken leaving. In a way, though, I felt I had already mourned him. I loved him, but when I thought of him, he appeared as a memory, a warm glow resting over my heart. I didn't think I could ever go back there, as much as I wanted to want to. Too much had changed, and I could never admit to him what my life had become in the last two months. Isn't that signal enough? If I felt too ashamed to tell him how I kept afloat, surely that meant he wasn't the one? I felt guilt tug within in, Mikasa was right, I had never even said goodbye. I loved him more than anything, and I just left. Maybe in another life, I would have gone to him, but maybe, just maybe, if you were into that sort of thing, you could say it was fate that brought me here. Fate that brought me to-

Levi.

I tried to take the thought back as soon as I had it, but unfortunately thoughts don't really work that way. I felt my cheeks go pink at the mere thought of it, still too afraid to acknowledge what it must mean that some part of my subconscious had set its sights on Levi. If there was anything there, I trusted it would come with time. I had to get through dinner first.

I only re-entered the real world when I reached my front door, and had to root around my my backpack to find my keys. While it had only been a few days since I was home, it felt like eons. I almost felt like a stranger walking in to my own home, so much having changed since I was last in it. I turned to look at the clock, around one-thirty pm. Levi was collecting me at six, so I had some time to kill. I decided to sit for a while, picking up and old magazine and rooting through it when the phone rang. I contemplated letting it go to voicemail, what if it was Marco, or Bert, or christ, what if it was Jean? I sighed, leaning forward off the edge of the couch towards the small end table to answer it, as much to stop the ringing as anything else.

"Hello?" I asked in anticipation. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realised it was Mikasa on the other end, and them promptly stopped feeling relieved when she began shouting.

"Eren! You little fucking brat, I have been calling you for two days with no answer. I know you're not working 48 hour shifts at whatever bar you're working at so please, explain why the hell you haven't been answering? I started to think you'd moved just to avoid speaking to me. Do you know how worried I've been?' I began laughing, my heart aching at the nostalgia brought on my Mika shouting at me for being irresponsible and not letting her know my whereabouts. Ever the protective sibling. 

"Mika, I'm so sorry. I stayed at a guys house- well, technically my boyfriend? But I'm going to break up with him tomorrow. It's a big drama." She huffed at the other end of the receiver, annoyed to have to concede her anger in order to find out what was going on.

"Boyfriend? I didn't even know you had one, and now you're breaking up with him?" She asked.

"Yeah. We got together kind of because a guy in work told me I had to move on from Dom. I panic-dated I suppose. But I went home with him after work yesterday - we work together, and he got very pushy about, well, you know, trying to have sex with. I was so drunk, and he wouldn't really take no for an answer, and I couldn't beat him up since we work together, so I called my cop friend, Levi, and he came and got me, and then I stayed the night in his. In his spare room! Don't worry." I laughed to diffuse the tension. I knew she'd blow up at that. Mikasa was very protective, and didn't really see reason when it came to protecting her loved ones, thinking a few broken bones were a small price to pay for justice. Bert should have counted himself lucky that I barely knew where he lived, let alone Mikasa finding out.

"He tried to force himself on you? What a dirt bag, piece of shit, idiot. Eren, you know I'll go kill him if you need. No one has to know we're related. And this cop, Levi, what's going on with you two?" There weren't really enough words in the English language for me to use to explain what was going on with me and Levi, and I thought it best not to fill Mikasa in on the intricacies of the relationship either. She definitely wouldn't approve of flirtatious banter and a friendship that had no real definition. 

"Nothing, really, we're going for dinner later. We're just friends, but I probably do have a bit of a crush on him." Did omission really count as lying? That was one for my mom and her church group to decode, at the hands of God and Jesus Christ. Mikasa and I spoke for a while longer, until her lunch break in work ended. Though, much of may focus was gone once she had mentioned Levi. When she hung up, thoughts of him were all I was left with. Thoughts of his soft hair, that I wanted to tangle my hands in, his lips that I was desperate to taste. The way I longed to sink my teeth into the nape of his neck, leaving purple splotches behind me. How I yearned to see the muscles beneath his shirt, beneath his trousers, beneath his-

Christ, I was down bad.

I felt a twitch between my things, clearly I hadn't been thinking with my brain. I moved my hand down to unzip my trousers and release my erection, unsure whether to submit to my guilt, and stop, or my hormones, and keep going. Hormones won, as they always do, and I closed my eyes to picture Levi. Picture him there with me, his hands instead of mine, his voice in my ear, his lips on my skin, on my mouth, between my legs. My heart was pounding, and I dipped my head back, submitting to the pleasure that was rippling through me, breathing gone shallow. Fuck, it felt fucking good to touch myself. The image of him flashed across my mind, looking up into my eyes as touched me, whispering my name. I felt my insides go taut, tension building up, reaching closer and closer to finishing. I pumped hard, nearly thrusting up into my hand. Fuck, what would Levi think if he saw me here, head rolled back, touching myself, whispering his name. Even just the idea of him watching me spurred me on. A final image burned into my imagination, one of Levi on top of me, thrusting his hips into me, and groaning my name.

And with that, I came undone, searing hot visions of Levi filling up every cell of my body. I’m hesitant to admit that I moaned his name as I finished, gritting my teeth with each roll of pleasure that came over me. I panted, coming back down to Earth, and tried to regulate my breathing and my heart rate.

Yeah, I was definitely down very bad. I turned to look at the clock again, Mikasa and I had spoken for about an hour, so it was just after three. Still too early to get ready, but I clearly needed a shower. Awkwardly, I took up, dropping my trousers and tossing them to the side, and walked towards the bathroom to clean up. My heart was still hammering but I did my best to ignore it. For once, I was thankful for the icy water, needing something to shock the filthy thoughts out of my system. I stayed in the shower longer than usual, closer to fifteen minutes, trying to kill the time before Levi came-

Don't say the words 'Levi' and 'came' in the same sentence. 

I sent the rest of the afternoon dawdling, cleaning some dishes, straightening out the few possessions I had, and eventually, when the time came, got dressed in the nicest clothes I had. I felt silly getting dressed up for Levi, like a school girl going on her first ever date, but there I was in navy dress pants, and a light blue, linen shirt. I left the top two buttons undone, wanting to show off some of my sunkissed skin to Levi, to see if he would notice. That felt even sillier, considering that my profession consisted of dressing in lingerie, and making sure everyone knew it. My hair was untameable, sticking in every direction know, except down, but I soon gave up, hoping it looked windswept instead of bush-dragged. It was strange dressing in clothes I hadn't worn since I was on dates with Dom, or in church with my parents, like I had stepped into the body of that person, instead of just his old trousers. 

Levi knocking at the door pulled me out of my thoughts, and I did my best not to trip over my feet as I borderline ran to the door to meet him. I slid out the door intentionally, too embarrassed to let him inside my apartment. He knew what I looked like, but a man still had pride. He cocked an eyebrow and his mouth twitched as he watched me contort my body around the door in order to avoid him seeing.

"Hi," I said simply, smiling at him. He looked - and I know how this sounds - delicious. Tight grey pants, with a dark green shirt, opened just one button below what I'd call respectable for a police officer. There was gel in his hair, pulling it all neatly to one side in a way that my own hair didn't even know possible. I could tell he thought the same of me, as his eyes raked up and down my body, filling me with heat. If only he knew how I had thought about him earlier.

"Hi, that's your cleverest one yet. You should write that down, really." He snorted and turned on his heel, and I took that as signal to follow. For a short man, he walked fast, and I had to rush to keep pace with him. We walked down the steps silently, the echoes of our footsteps bouncing across the hallways. Levi glanced over his shoulder on the second floor to check I was still behind him. When our eyes met, I nearly tripped down the stairwell, eternally thankful that Levi only glanced and likely didn't see my stumble. His car was on the kerb outside the building, likely illegally, but who would give a cop a ticket? He opened the passenger door for me, and I had to quicken my step to catch up with him, smiling as I sat into the car. He winked at me as he closed the door, releasing a kaleidoscope of butterflies to flutter through my veins. He moved swiftly around the car, scanning for traffic before entering the car himself. We fastened our seatbelts in silence and I rested by palms on my knees, suddenly aware of their weight and warmth. I turned to look at Levi and he smirked at me.

"Don't think I didn't catch you tripping in the stairwell, by the way, very slick Jaeger." I laughed, both mortified and impressed by his keen eye. His eyes softened looking at me, and he turned the key in the ignition, propelling us off the pavement. "We're going for Italian, I hope that's okay." He finished.

"Yeah, of course, I love Italian. Very romantic of you." I said it to test him, to see if he'd hang onto it, and he did.

"Some would say I'm very romantic. Don't ask me who, but I'm sure someone would." The rest of the drive was silent, and I focused on the sound of the car accelerating and decelerating as we moved through the city. People on dates, and hoards of friends walked into restaurants and bars, buried beneath jackets that wouldn't suffice for winter, but warded off the spring time evening chill. By the time we arrived, the sun began to set, and swirls of purples, pinks, and oranges floated across the horizon. We parked in a multi-story, Levi holding the ticket in between his teeth as he unfastened his seat belt. How I longed to be in his mouth instead.

He moved out of the car faster than me, opening my door again. I bumped my head getting out of the car, and Levi didn't even try to conceal his snort. I leaned forward to allow him to close the door behind me, pressing our bodies together between his car, and the one parked next to his. This close, I could smell his cologne, like lavender and sandalwood, and it took all my concentration not to lean down and take his lips in mine, the places our body touched feeling warm. Our eyes lingered on each other for a moment longer before Levi broke the silence.

"Come on, we'll be late for our reservation." I smiled awkwardly, looking down, and tried to move by body away from his with minimal contact, Levi snorting while I moved like a crab scampering down a beach. He led the way to the restaurant, just across the street from the entrance to the parking lot; La Cozza Infuriata. Levi spoke to the host when we walked in, and she led us to a quiet seat in the corner. The restaurant was beautiful, rustic. A red gingham tablecloth covered our dark oak stained table, with long white dinner candles in wine bottles, old wax cascading down the sides. The walls were a light cream but adorned in painting and pictures in mismatched frames, ranging from gold, to wood, to greens and oranges. The chandeliers twinkled in the candlelight, and in the opposite corner was a pianist sat at a baby grand piano, serenading all the diners with sweet dulcet tones. The hostess placed menus in front of us, and Levi ordered a bottle of white wine to share as the hostess pointed to the wall-mounted chalk board behind us with the specials. 

"Thank you." Levi muttered, and opened his menu to survey it. "The pasta is naturally good, as is anything with shrimp." Levi stated, not even looking up from his menu.

"You've been before? Is this where you take all you boy-toys?" I asked him, smirking.

"No, just the ones I'm hoping to bed afterwards." I laugh but could feel the blood rush against gravity up to my cheeks to stain them pink.

"I thought you didn't date, anyway?" Testing him again to see if he remembered our first interaction.

"I'd be willing to change my mission statement for someone like you." He looked up from the menu now, and straight into my eyes, but he might as well have been looking straight into my soul, staring into every crook and crevice and pulling every secret I've ever had out of me.

"What are we, Levi?" His expression changed, a few times in fact, from confusion, to contemplation, to something I didn't quite recognise, but Levi didn't have time to explain it to me as a peppy waitress appeared to deliver our wine and take our orders. She offered to let Levi taste, and he waved her away, prompting her to move faster. I ordered pappardelle with braised beef, and Levi opted for angel hair pasta with shrimp and pecorino Romano. I moved to take a sip of the wine, cheeks burning now. The hostess confirmed the order and walked away, and Levi also moved to drink his wine, as if needing the liquid courage. 

"Eren..." Levi started, "I don't frankly know what we are, to be honest. I keep telling myself, and telling annoying idiots like Hange, that we're just friends, but I don't think that is an entirely accurate representation. I won't deny that I'm interested in you, in that I'm attracted to you, and I enjoy spending time with you. If it's okay with you, I'm happy to see where things go, see if feelings catch up." Levi took another sip of his wine, and I couldn't understand how he was acting so casual as if he hadn't just sent fireworks through my body, and dissolved me into a puddle on the floor of this very nice restaurant. I didn't even know how to respond, but I couldn't say nothing. 

"I think," I started, hoping the rest of the sentence would occur to me on the wat, "that I'm interested in you, physically, for sure, and emotionally. I think, like, I have a crush on you, I guess. But I don't want to jeopardise our friendship because you're the best thing I have in the city so yeah, I'm happy to see where things go." The flame from our candle danced in Levi's eyes, not dissimilar to the flame he lit within me.

"Eren," His tone changed, more rugged, sexier, and it rippled through me, "I definitely, absolutely have a crush on you too, and you better break up with that fucking waste of a boyfriend tomorrow, brat."

I was very lucky, in that moment, that the lights in the restaurant were dim, because holy fuck, the things that man did to me. 

The food arrived shortly after, putting a brief pause on our flirting as we sampled. Levi was right, it was amazing, easily the best thing I had eaten since moving. So amazing, in fact, that I let out a moan at the first bite, which clearly sparked Levi’s interest as his eyes shot up to meet mine. 

“Wow, that good, huh?” He asked, eyebrow quirked up at me. 

“Food always has been and always will be my first love.” He laughed at me then, the sound almost as delicious as my meal. We ate in relative silence after that, a quip here and there, the silence growing thinner as wine flowed faster. Levi was only having half glasses, still aware he had to drive home, and I wasn’t even sure it was the wine that loosened things up, or just the energy between us. Either way, it was a hell of a lot better than any other dates I’d recently been on. 

And one thing was for fucking certain: top of my to do list? Break up with Bert. Second on my to do list? Jump Levi’s bones. 

Chapter Text

Eren's POV, Friday

Around forty-eight hours had passes since mine and Levi's impromptu dinner 'date', as it were. You know, the one where I had to stop myself from climbing over the table to mount him, purely because he just looked so good? Yeah, that one. He had been a proper gentleman all night, topping up my wine glass when it started to look too half-empty. He did it slowly though, and only after I gave him the nod of approval to do so. He even paid for the meal, and stood up first to pull my chair out for me. I felt simultaneously like an elated college kid on their first ever date, and first wife of a rich CEO, living in a bubble of wealth, unaware that he's probably fucking his secretary on the side. Not that I thought Levi was fucking any secretaries, more like there was an impending sense of doom, some element of all of this still waiting to make itself known to me. 

There wasn't much time to dwell on all of these illuminating thoughts, of course, as Marco had called me that morning to meet him and Jean in Connie's for breakfast. I was on my way there, backpack in tow to head straight to the club after. As far a I was aware, Bert was working too, which meant I had a prime opportunity to break up with him before my set, and then promptly get the hell out of there. I took in the Chicago breeze, as it undoubtedly mussed my hair up further than usual. The leaved were starting to turn green on the trees, but the remnants of autumn and winter still lay on the ground, swirling around gutters and bouncing off the curb. I contemplated catching the bus, but realistically with the never-ending traffic, walking would be faster. It would only take about twenty minutes anyway, and it wasn't that cool, really. The streets were a calm mid-morning quiet, people either locked away in their high rise offices, drinking shitty filter coffee, or school kids watching the seconds go by as some boring middle-aged teacher lectured them on the importance of units of measure in their chemistry calculations. As I rounded the corner onto Connie's block, my eyes were drawn to a cop car across the street, two officers standing outside it, leaned against the dash with coffee cups in their hands. Unbeknownst to myself, I smiled. They were both too tall to ever be Levi (not that I'd ever tell him that), but just the thought of him out somewhere now, drinking his fourth coffee of the day and bickering with Hange made me feel warm. I felt connected to him, like a piece of string was tied to the two of us on either end, getting knotted in itself as our lives got tangled up in each other.

I arrived in Connie's just after eleven, Marco and Jean were already seated in the corner, placing their orders with the ever eccentric Connie. The bell above the door jingled as I walked in, causing Connie to turn and catch my eye. His trademark grin spread across his face, smile lines appearing at the corner or his eyes.

"Eren! We were waiting for you. Hurry up and come order." Jean snickered at my scolding, and I crossed the diner quickly to take my seat next to Marco.

"Sorry Connie, slow walkers out there. I'll take a coke, and the buttermilk chicken burger with fries. No tomatoes." He smiled then and turned to go back to the counter, an air of enthusiasm following him.

"Really, Eren? A burger at 11am?" Jean chided, one eyebrow raised at me, I opened my mouth to shout at him, never wanting to miss an opportunity to berate him, but Marco beat me to it.

"Now, now Jean. You did order the ribs. That's hardly any better." Jean feigned offence at his boyfriend not sticking up for him, and I just made a face at Jean, happy it was him being chastised and not me. "So, Eren, you weren't working last night, which gave us a chance to talk to Bert..." Marco continued, and I sucked in a breath. I was at least hoping the drinks would get to the table before the barrage started.

"He told us you called the cops on him for trying to have sex with you. Freaky, Eren, didn't know you were so phobic." Jean added, playing with his cuticles as he spoke. A pang shot through me, embarrassment combined with rage.

"I'll have you know, horseface, that he actually tried to force me into having sex with him after feeding me three bottles of wine. Turns out the word no isn't in his vocabulary. And I called the cops because the other option was for me to beat the shit out of him, and I thought Erd wouldn't appreciate me bruising any of the dancers' faces." Jean looked up from his nails at that, and I thought I saw a semblance of shock. Clearly Bert had been selective in his story-telling.

"He didn't say anything about three bottles, or forcing you..." Jean trailed off, scratching the top of his neck with his perfectly manicured cuticles.

"Why don't you start from the top, Eren?" Marco asked in an even tone, keeping the peace clearly at the top of his priority list. And so I recited the whole thing, from the wine, to the kissing, to the comments about our first date, right to the point where I felt I had no other way out. It was like I was back in his bedroom again, the same suffocation sitting heavily atop my lungs. The food had arrived in the mean time, but we all ignored it, too engrossed in the story to eat.

"So, today, I'm going to dump him. He's not worth it anyway. The idea of a boyfriend was nice, but the execution was markedly less nice. Not remotely as fortuitous as anticipated." I grabbed a couple fries off my plate and shoved them into my mouth to try break the tension, definitely looking somewhat like a disgruntled toddler.

"If that's what you want, Eren, of course. Just know Bert is pissed, so be careful." I nodded, and moved the conversation onwards as we all started eating, discussing mundane topics until the tension had dissolved away and we could be normal. Sasha even sat with us for a minute, stealing some of Jean's fries. That got us all laughing, as he nearly barked at her in response. I gave Marco $10 for his troubles (and for my meal), and he accepted it, not wanting to make me feel any more embarrassed. It was after midday at that point, and we were all due in at 2pm, so we slowly strolled to the club, lengthening a five minute walk into thirty-five minutes, stopping in a minimart on the way so Marco could pick up some snacks and something to have for dinner that night. We still arrived an hour early, but no one really cared. We retired to our respective dressing rooms, and I sat watching the clock for a while. Bert usually arrived twenty minutes early, as he was in the first half of the set. So I had around forty minutes to kill. Easy enough, I guess. To occupy the time, I straightened my room, wiping down the surfaces and fluffing the couch cushions, as if anything other than an exorcism could rid them of their years of dirt and secrets. 

As they always did, my thoughts shifted to Levi. He was on the day shift today. He had told me yesterday when I called, meaning he would probably come by. He also knew I was breaking up with Bert, and so part of me assumed he was coming as backup in case things went awry. In the grand scheme of things, Bert was inconsequential to my life, and yet with each ticking of the clock, I felt my heart rate quickening. There was only so much superfluous cleaning someone could do before they had to succumb to sitting and waiting, and that was the point I had reached. One twenty-five pm, fifteen minutes. My train of thought chugged along its tracks and found its way back to station Levi. Realistically, he was probably on his lunch by now, meaning he was likely sitting in the precinct canteen, arguing with Hange and Erwin in an endlessly circuitous fashion. The thought of it made me smile, I could visualise Levi with his head in this hands and Haneg and Erwin went the full twelve rounds in front of him, each round worse than the last. I contemplated calling him, there was a phone behind the bar, and Erd was probably locked in his office with a bottle of scotch. Maybe some last minute words of encouragement would help-

"Bert, you're on first tonight, special request." It was Erd from the hallway, and a shiver rippled through my body. He had arrived early, and according to Marco, he was pissed. It was now, or never. I stood shakily from my chair, taking a deep breath before turning to the dressing room door. The usual heat felt more intense than usual, like lava flowing beneath my skin. I crossed the threshold to Bert's room slowly, trying to even my breathing, before knocking steadily on the door.

"Bert, it's Eren. We need to talk." I heard shuffling from inside, and the door knob jiggled before the door opened to reveal Bert inside. Even though he was only an inch or two taller than me, in that moment, he towered over me, eyes trained on me.

"I think talking is probably a good idea. Think we can do it without supervision from your cop friend?" Smarmy bastard. I pushed past him to move inside and sat down, steeling myself for the conversation ahead. I motioned for him to sit opposite me, simultaneously crossing my legs. He sat silently, drumming his fingertips off his dressing table. Clearly, he wasn't going to get this moving. 

"So," I started, "I'd appreciate if you would let me say everything I have to say. We have to continue working together, so I'd like to keep this as civil as possible. I think given the events of the other night, we can both agree that it's best if we call things off between us. While you may feel that I overreacted by calling Levi the other night, you constructed a situation in which I did not feel safe, and I did not feel like I could safely leave that situation without assistance. You got me drunk, slut shamed me, and tried to force yourself on me. You can paint that story as many ways as you like with whichever of our coworkers you please, but you know as well as I do that I'm right, and I have no interest in being with someone who would treat me like that." By the end of it, I had started to choke up slightly, but not enough that it was audible, but I could feel the lump sitting in my throat, ready to break free. Bert sighed, clearly exasperated, and looked up slowly at me.

"Eren. I think you're really dramatising the events of the other night. We had a little too much to drink, I didn't realise you were a lightweight, my apologies. But you still called a cop to my home in the middle of the night. And as far as the slut shaming, I'm not wrong in saying that you were all too happy to spread your legs after the coffee date-" I saw red at that point, and couldn't stop myself form intervening.

"Oh my God, Bert! The only reason I let you give me a handjob that day was because I wanted the date to be over! Get a fucking grip of yourself, you're not some ultra desirable hot-shot who I was so desperate to sleep with!" It was probably a little harsher than necessary, but my patience was wearing thin. Bert stood from his seat and took a step closer to me.

"Get out, Eren. We're done. We'll be civil in the hallway, but don't speak to me again." I stood up too, cocking my chin out to meet him at eye-level.

"With pleasure, asshole." And with that, I walked past him, strutting out his door. It wasn't my most tactful of exits yet, borderline impetuous, but I think it got the point across. I could hear the clinks of glasses outside, and some laughter from patrons, alarmingly merry for the time of day. Erd had posted a sticky-note to my door that read 'you're on at five, waiting tables until then.' It was a rare one that I would table duty, but at least it meant that I knew when Levi would arrive. I opened the drawers in my dresser, picking out something particularly racy. It was immature really, but part of me was unashamed to hope that Bert would see me look incredible and regret being such a trash pile of a human. And a very secret, very small part of me hoped that Levi would enjoy it too. It was a pale pink, intricately laced corset, with matching thong and garter. It was certainly a lot, but Erd would definitely approve, and that was always a benefit to me. It felt vain to admit that the pale pink looked soft against my tanned skin, and it certainly didn't make my ass look bad. I got dressed quickly, putting a little gel in my hair just to smooth it slightly, and put on a light layer of concealer and pink glitter on my cheekbones. It was barely after two by the time I made it to the bar, grabbing a tray from the bartender to start collecting empty glasses and taking orders.

The benefit, it had to be said, of waiting tables in a strip club was the tips. With each whiskey glass I picked up, all slick with a light layer of condensation, a solitary melting ice cube sliding along their base, scrunched up dollar bills were tossed onto my tray or stuffed inside my garter. I was easily making an additional fifty bucks an hour, and while to some that didn't mean much, it meant a significantly looser squeeze on my chest when my gas bill arrived at the end of the month. The roughly three hours until my set time passed quickly, and as Jean started his last song, I rushed back to the bar to collect my tips and make my way back stage. I took one last glance at the door as I moved. Levi had just arrived; of course he had, I could sense his presence even through the thick layer of stage fog and budget liquor. I smiled at him as I moved quickly to make it on stage before I was announced, and Levi sat to the left of the stage. 

"Hey," The sound engineer greeted me, a short brunette man that I think was distantly related to Erd, "ready to go? I have your Friday list loaded." I smiled and nodded at him, ready to go on stage as the announcement played. 

"Introducing our next act, and it looks like it's going to be a special one tonight folks, we have Eren!" 

There was a weak applause from the crowd, but to be fair, it was 5pm in a strip club. I put on my widest smile and strut onto the stage as the music began to play. Immediately my eyes were trained on Levi. If we was enjoying the view, he certainly wasn't giving it away, but I did notice a fleeting expression change when our eyes locked, and if I knew anything about Levi, it was a positive expression. I made my way to the pole in the centre of the stage, dancing around it, rolling my body against it in time with the music. I dipped my head back, doing my best to look euphoric, dropping down to my knees and thrusting my hips upwards.

No, you're never gonna get it. Never ever gonna get it, no, not this time!

I rolled back, now lying on the stage, making eye contact with different men as I mouthed the lyrics at them; 'What makes you think you can just walk back into her life?'  They fucking loved it, I could tell from the way their eyes bore into me, as if they owned me. It was sickening and exciting all at once. I lifted myself back up slowly, placing my hands on the pole, locking my eyes on Levi next as I stood. I could see his eyes narrow, the pools of silver darkening as his pupils grew larger. It felt different when he looked at me, like he could see into my heart and soul, and twist them about in any way he pleased. His eyes stayed trained on me as I danced, swapping my grin for something more provocative, running my hands down my body.

No, you're never gonna get it. Never ever gonna get it, no, not this time!

I made my way towards the steps, moving down them slowly, deciding who I would go to first. The man sitting front and centre waved me over, flitting a twenty at me with a raised eyebrow. I'd love to say twenty wasn't enough to buy my time, but given the business, twenty was at least enough to buy him some action. I put my hands on the sides of his chair and leaned down, feeling his calloused hands come up to grab my waist. My skin crawled, and I felt the roughness of the twenty dollar bill shoved into my thong. Transaction complete. I gave him a wink as I leaned back and tried to be subtle as journeyed over to Levi. He was inconspicuous compared to everyone else, legs crossed with an abandoned whiskey, glass weeping condensation onto the table. I saw something flicker in his eyes and they raked over me from head to toe. Time to bring out the big moves. I lifted my right leg placing my high heel on the space beside his hips, his head turned slightly, but it was enough that the tip of his nose brushed every so lightly off my inner thigh. It was nothing. Barely an interaction, and yet that exact spot fizzed, and my breath hitched in my throat. My hand moved down and I ran it up my leg as far as my hip bone, moving it then into Levi's hair, grabbing it softly, tilting his head back to look at me. I felt my chest squeeze as Levi's eyes closed and he leaned into my hand. It felt like everything and everyone in the room slipped away, leaving just Levi and I and the throbbing base of the song. I felt light and heavy all at once, like I could both float away and sink right into his lap. His hair was deceptively soft, and I loved the way his undercut felt beneath my fingers. God, if only we had been anywhere else, I would have grabbed his face and kissed him and pressed him against me. My breathing turned shallow, and I knew I had to move fast if I was going to remain composed for the rest of this set. I gripped Levi's hair once more before letting go, slowly taking my leg back down. Levi's hand moved out then, raising it towards me. His fingertips brushed the skin on my hips, and he moved his hand down slightly to grab the fabric of my thong, eyes locking with mine. His teeth were visibly clenched, and mine were likely the same. The effects were transient though, somehow too short and too long, as out of the corner of my eye I could see Erd against the back wall, and I knew I had to move on to not raise suspicion. I stepped back from Levi, winking at him, before turning and dancing my way back to the stage. 

The rest of my set moved quickly, though my heart rate never did return to normal. I felt breathless by the time the sound engineer announced that I was done, and I knew it wasn't from my lack of fitness. I rushed backstage, hoping I wouldn't run into anyone, and luckily I made it to my dressing room undisturbed. I could see the pink tinge in my skin, highlighted against the pink lace. If Levi was a pattern follower, he would knock on the door in less than two minutes, so I had two minutes to collect myself and regulate my heart rate before he arrived. Right on time, Levi's rhythmic knock sounded on the other side of the door.

"Come in," I managed to reply, though it was barely above a whisper. The door opened slowly, awkwardly creaking as his body appeared behind it. I knew he finished work at 4pm, so he had clearly changed, donning some tight black trousers and an olive green crew neck t-shirts, with a beige jacket over top. While he looked good in uniform, he certainly didn’t look any worse right now. Even though I was the one in lingerie, he somehow managed to look more lascivious than I ever could. His expression though, was giving nothing away. I stood up as he walked in, not entirely sure why I did it, and motioned him into the room. He came over to stand opposite to me, and I leaned back against the desk to try match his height, though, in my heels it was awkward, so I kicked them off and tossed them aside.

"It was a fantastic show, kid, your best one yet," His voice was almost raspy, and I felt the huskiness of it against my skin, leaving shivers where it brushed against me.

"Thanks," I responded, voice low, "glad you liked it. My comeback show after my shitty relationship. Plus there's a guy in the audience I'm totally crushing on so I wanted to impress him." He smirked at me then, taking a step closer to me, resting his right hand on my thigh. 

"I'm sure he totally enjoyed it, and he wasn't aware you were so flexible, and that's something he's definitely noting for the future." My heart jumped at that, the sheer idea of Levi using my flexibility for his advantage was enough to turn me into a puddle. His eyes were trained on his hand, as if he was scared it might act without his permission if he looked away. He placed his other hand on my knee, using it to spread my legs and place himself between them. Heat pooled in my abdomen and radiated down into my thighs. I was certain he could hear my heart pounding against my rib cage, and I watched my hand reach out to grasp Levi's waist, almost like an out of body experience. Levi inched closer to me and my breathing turned even shallower as his chest pressed against mine, faces only inches apart.  

"Levi..." I whispered. It felt so right rolling of my tongue, like it was the only name I was ever meant to say, to moan, to scream. The tension, sexual and otherwise was thick in the air around us, like a gravitational force pushing us closer together. I could barely think, barely do anything except breath and move closer to Levi.

"Eren," he responded, "I want so badly to give into my desire right now, but-" his voice was deep and full of desire, it sent a shiver up my spine. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from moaning at just the sound of him.

"I'm not going to do it here." He was so close to me that I could feel his breath on my skin, our noses touching as we moved our heads closer together. All either of us would have had to do is close the final distance, barely an inch, and then his mouth would be on mine.

"Eren, fuck, you're so fucking irresistible right now. But I don't think either of us want to do this here." I pulled back slightly and smiled at him, though I could feel my check’s burning pink and his eyes were still trained on me, drinking in every bit of me. 

"You're right, Levi." I laughed slightly, but it did nothing to distract me from the slight hardness I could feel pressed against me. As much as he was right, I didn’t want our first kiss to be here, it was very hard to focus on that when he was pressed against me, setting me alight at every point of contact. I moved my other hand up to cup his cheek. He smiled at me then too, cupping my hand with his own.

"You're such a fucking brat. What are you trying to do to me with shows like that? I thought I was going to drop dead when I saw.” His tone was light-hearted but it did nothing to stop the filthy thoughts transversing my mind’

“Let me take you out tomorrow. Lunch and a walk in the park." He finished. I nodded at him, fireworks going off inside my body, watching his eyes as I squeezed slightly with my thighs to bring him closer to me. 

"Sounds good. Pick me up at twelve." We both laughed then, the two of us existing inside our own bubble, unaware of the world outside of us.

For tonight, that was enough. Tomorrow he could debauch me in any fucking way he pleased.

And I couldn’t wait…

Chapter Text

Eren's PoV, Saturday Morning, His Apartment

It was broaching the end of March, and so the breeze had started to get warmer, and leaves greener. I woke early, anticipation preventing me from sleeping in. Today, somehow, was my first real date with Levi. Needless to say, three weeks ago when he had first approached me in that corner shop thinking I was a petty thief, I didn't predict that that same cop would make me weak at the knees. And so, there I was, lying awake on my mattress that felt thinner than normal after all my nights in Levi's spare room, contemplating the day ahead of me. I had hardly slept, replaying the moment Levi and I had shared, the words he had said. It was like a teenage boy had taken residence within my mind, and he was discovering, for the first time, that the thing between his legs did something if he willed it to hard enough. Choruses of "Eren, fuck, you're so fucking irresistible right now" reverberated around my mind, filling every crevice and crack within me, only Levi coursing through my veins. After tossing for long enough, my mind turned to preparing for the day ahead. I was certainly somewhat dishevelled after my sleepless night, so moved to shower, both to cleanse myself of the sweat, and of all the filthy thoughts. 

There had been one other persistent thought occupying me, and that was, unfortunately, Dom. Ever since Mikasa had first mentioned his name, pulled away the shroud that kept him concealed to my mind’s eye, guilt had plagued me. There were no lingering feelings of love, lust, euphoria, disdain, anything. There was simply a void in the space which Dom once occupied, that much was certain, but in quiet moments, doing mundane tasks, I had found myself scrutinising every detail. I had to let him go if I was going to move on, because, like I said, mundane tasks? Here I was in the shower, wasting precious water dwelling on it. At least it made the cold seem secondary. 

I showered quickly, just long enough to revive my hair and body, not keen to remain beneath the icy drops any longer. When I stepped out, I cringed when the only towel my fingers could reach was still damp, and pat myself as dry as possible before proceeding to argue with myself over my outfit for at least ten to fifteen minutes. It was a struggle to strike the balance between daytime casual and lovestruck teenager. Ultimately, I settled on grey chinos, with a relatively clean white t-shirt, forest green sweater, and a thick, woollen red scarf. It was a gift from Mikasa, a token, she had said 'it's inevitable that you'll move to college, and the notion of donning a jacket won't even cross your mind.' I smiled to myself, 'Diligent observation, credit where it's due! Mikasa could be clairvoyant for all we know!' Armin had retorted. I had found it so funny, how well they knew even the bones of me, that it had become one of my most precious possessions. Though precious didn't feel like a big enough word to substantiate what it meant to me to feel like Mikasa was with me in these moments, at a proverbial cross-roads in life.

It was still early, the clock only ticking a few minutes after 10am. My stomach was too full of flitting butterflies to contemplate eating breakfast, but instant coffee could perhaps fill the gaps between the butterflies wings. The irregular granules in no way compared to Levi's artisanal vanilla beans. He had mentioned before something about single source, and had not laughed when I replied 'my stuff is single source too. Target.' I thought it was funny, but Levi just rolled his eyes and smirked at me. It had sent sparks through me. There was something so incredibly intoxicating about when he glimpsed at me like that, when I only had a fraction of his attention because he was too occupied making coffee or scrambling eggs. In moments like that, I felt like there were no limits to what I'd do if it meant every ounce of his energy was being poured into me. I hadn't felt that before, it was a strangely new, exhilarating. My relationship, and the prequel 'talking stage' hadn't been like that with Dom.

Dom.

I knew little about relationships. It was probably penultimate on my list of specialties. However, even in my limited experience, I knew that I couldn't fall head first into things with Levi if my mind was still preoccupied by someone else. Out of deference for him, our history, and the trials and tribulations we had experienced as a result of our entanglement, I had to bury the hatchet. Mikasa's prior words rang clear in my head, 'Eren, you need to call him. Write to him, something.' Up until that precise moment, I suppose I lacked the temerity to do something. Calling him felt insufficient, lacklustre. I still knew his number, of course, a small part of my brain still to obstinate to forget. Though, too much time had elapsed since I had seen him, and I couldn't assuage the notion that it was dishonest to call him when it was for personal gain, like I'd be using him to get Levi. As selfish as it was, as contrite as I felt, I was acutely aware that I moving on for me, not for him. Dom didn't deserve that. If I closed my eyes, I could still see his heartbroken face, the fear etched into his eyes, frantic. I didn't even stay in town long enough to know if he every reclaimed the numerous possessions that had crept their way into my room. I still wasn't ready to talk to him, still wary that the ties between us were inextricable. Writing was clearly the better option then. I moved towards the couch, lifting the phone to grab then pen and paper that I kept for taking messages, not that I ever had any messaged to take, and sat down, slumped against the arm of the sofa. 

Unbeknownst to myself, I tapped the pencil rhythmically against the paper, inadvertently poking little holes in the top page. I bit my lip as I thought to myself. I wasn't confident that I had the words to convey it correctly, English had never been my best subject, and no one had ever described me as scrupulous. Had to start somewhere, though, and so I ripped off the first page, now too covered in pen marks to use, and put pen to paper.

Dear Dom, I started.

It has been nearly three months since I last saw you, that horrendous day when my parents stormed in on us. I can still see your expression, the hurt on your face as you fled. It was true. If I closed my eyes and concentrated, his forest green eyes came back to me, emotions moving through them like the seasons moved through the trees. I could still taste his peppermint breath, see the smile lines in the corners of his eyes, feel the light stubble beneath my fingers, against my cheek. 

I'm sorry I waited until now to do this; to   explain that I'm sorry that I left, to tell you who I've become. But in a way, I think I couldn't face the truth. If I pretended I didn't have to give up so much, then maybe I wouldn't feel the searing hot pain of what I have lost. It has been painful; it's important for me to say that to you. It was so painful to leave you and Mikasa and Armin and college. I was so unbelievably happy with you, the happiest I've ever been, that night with you, drinking my parents wine and pretending we had no cares in the world. 

But that was then. Even though twelve weeks doesn't seem like a long time, an incomprehensible amount has changed for me. I work in a bar now, and I wouldn't exactly say my work fills me with pride, but it means I can pay my own way, even if things are tight. I'm proud of myself for that, there's a roof over my head and I pay to keep it there. I have some friends in work, they're nothing like you or the guys at home, but they make me laugh, and we look out for each other. I have some friends outside work too. Levi. I actually would class him as more than a friend. We have our first real date today, and it feels so wrong to write that in a letter to you, but I'm really excited for it. He's nothing like you, but in some ways, you're the same. You're both funny, caring, kind, so I suppose that means you're similar in the ways that count. 

You'll never read this letter as I don't actually have any intention of ever mailing it to you. I'm selfish, but this is for me. This is for me to let go of you, and I'm sorry for that, but even if I moved back home and went back to university and everything, I have changed too much to return to the way things were. So, Dom, even though I swore I would be with you for the rest of my life, this is me saying goodbye, and good luck. In some way, I will always love you, and you will always be a part of me. I wish you health and happiness, and know that I really believe you deserve the world. 

Goodbye, Dom

Love, Eren J.

By the time I had finished, tear drops were falling on the page, causing blue splotches to form on the page. It didn't matter, it's not like anyone other than me would every read it. I tore the page from the pad and folded it into thirds, carefully writing Dom's name on the front, and gently set the paper down in front of me, like it was my supplication to the gods for forgiveness. I didn't bother trying to repress the tears. It was flowing out of me, emotion, memory, something that tasted like regret but wasn't fully the same. Leaning back against the sofa, and closing my eyes, I could picture him. We coming out of a business class a few weeks into our second year, he had bumped me causing me to drop my textbook. Being a classic gentleman, he kneeled down to pick it up, and if I'm being honest, I knew I was done for the moment those eyes met mine. He had the countenance of an angel. We had gone for coffee after that, and ended up talking for nearly three hours. Then came the first date, then the second, the third. before I knew it, he was my boyfriend. I could picture the two of us waking up together, sunlight beaming in and making his skin look like honey, his hair like spun gold, I could feel his eyelashes brush off my cheek as he kissed me good morning, his hands on my body. He had an alacrity I had ever witnessed before, it brought a part of me to life. I could see and touch and smell every single moment we had together in those nearly eighteen months, all of it floating around my head like dust in a sunny room. I ached, ached with the memory of it, but I didn’t long for it, and that felt like progress. 

I sat for a moment longer, still feeling pensive, but also like a burden had been lifted from my chest, and I could breathe fully again. I didn't dwell on how things could be different. I had done enough of that, and so much rancour was, in fact, not good for a person. At that point, it was trite to wonder 'what if?' It would never be, best to quit while you're ahead and keep on keeping on. But it was nice to, for a moment, sit and remember the happiness instead of repressing it all, bottling everything up and fearing for the moment the bottle would explode. 

Eleven a.m. came and went unnoticed and my focus shifted from emotional enlightenment to limitless terror. My coffee sat half drank in front of me, lukewarm and bitter now, but still I gulped it down, eager to occupy my limbs which suddenly felt too long for my body. Levi was innately punctual, so all I had to do was busy myself for just shy of forty-five minutes. Make the bed, clean the mug in my hands, watch some television. It doesn't sound difficult on paper, but when the ticking of the clock starts to match your pulse, it gets hard to focus on anything else but the slow passage of time. Eventually, the re-runs of Cheers I had turned on calmed me enough to tear my eyes away from watching the seconds pass. The downside of this, of course, was that my heart nearly pounded out of my chest when Levi eventually knocked on the door. I paused, frantically grabbing the television remote to turn it off, before reaching to grab my scarf, and the letter for Dom. The door knocked again, a gentle 'Eren?'  sounding from the other side. 

Levi looked, as I was starting to realise was always the case, phenomenal. Beige trousers, a crisp light blue shirt, and grey coat with a tartan scarf. His hair was neatly gelled, and I noted that he only seemed to style it for special occasions, something which did in fact make my heart skip a beat. He smirked at me as I continued to stare, moving one hand out to hold the doorframe,

"Did your brain stop working, Jaeger?" I blushed and scowled at him, moving to close the door behind me, and start walking towards the stairwell.

"No, actually, just curious as to why you're dressed for a Russian winter when it's nearly April." He snorted then, clearly not too impressed with my attempt to be sarcastic, following behind me but quickly catching up.

"Brat. I just don't like the cold and if we're going to be walking around, I'd rather have layers." He did hate the cold, and always had the heat running in his car or extra blankets around his apartment. "You look nice." He finished. It made me beam, even if nice  was such a mediocre compliment. I knew Levi wasn't big on compliments anyway, so from him, it meant a lot.

"As do you." I responded, hoping I was doing a good enough job of concealing my grin beneath my scarf. "What have you in store for me, Officer Ackerman?" I tried to sound flirty, turning back to look at him, but cautious not to trip as I had when we had gone for dinner the week before. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I saw his tongue dart out to lick his lips. And yes, I am ashamed to admit that the first thought that came to mind was how enjoyable it would be to have him lick my lips instead. 

"Don't call me Officer on my day off unless you mean it in a kinky way-" I nearly choked, "I was thinking coffee, there's a nice cafe in the park, then we can walk through the park to get to lunch in this little restaurant on the other side of the park." I nodded, still not fully recovered from the idea of calling him anything in a kinky way. 

"Sounds good. I could use something a little stronger than instant." We walked for a while exchanging chit chat about our weeks, when we were working, if we had any other plans. I told him I was working lates at the club this week since Erd had been so impressed with my last performance, explaining that the late shift was only given to the best dancers, since the real tippers came in after 7p.m., but in return it meant I was only working three days. Levi had worked overtime for Hange last month, and was cashing it in now by getting her to cover some hours for him, meaning he was only working two full days, and one half day.

"It's not really kosher," he explained, "but Erwin will sign off on anything I ask him too really, especially when I mentioned that part of my reason for wanting some time off was to see you." I was convinced he could feel the heat of my blush radiate off me. Using precious paid time off to see me? Did he have something planned?

"What would you waste time off on me for?" I asked him, doing my level best to ensure my voice remained steady as I did so. He turned to look at me, his brushing off mine.

"Well, if today goes well, I sort of assumed we might want to repeat it. Besides, I could do with a few days off anyway. You're just something I can occupy that time with." He always sounded so level headed, like nothing even remotely phased him, meanwhile I was bowled over by the things he said, left trying to catch my breath. It amazed me and terrified me all at the same time. We arrived at the coffee shop in what felt like a short amount of time, but with no watch on me, I had no real bearing. Levi asked me what I wanted, and told me to grab a table, just swatting me away when I tried to offer him cash to pay. We both got cappuccinos, and I picked a table in the back, near a window looking into the park. I felt the letter crinkle in my pocket as I sat down, and I ignored it in favour of removing my scarf to hang it over the back of my chair. Levi rounded the corner about five minutes later, holding a black trey with two mugs, and a little plate with some cookies on it.

"Here you go. The sign said the biscuits are German, Spekulatius, or something in that line or pronunciation, so I thought why not." He placed them down in front of me, and even though it was so small, so unimportant that he had remembered my German heritage, it made my heart swell.

"Yeah," I agreed, "they're great. We went to Germany one summer and ate our body weight in them. Thanks, that was really sweet." He nodded and sat opposite me, picking one up to try it for himself. 

"You're right. They are good." For a few moments, we drank our coffee and ate biscuits in relative silence, stealing glances at each other when we thought the other wouldn't notice. 

"I feel nervous, and I don't know why." I said after a few minutes. Levi was mid sip, and he lifted his eyes to look at me over his mug. The sunlight shone is his eyes, silver speckles shining brighter than normal.

"Nervous good, or nervous bad?" He asked, eyebrows raised in a classic Levi fashion. He placed his mug down very gently, re-orienting it so that the handle faced the window.

"Nervous good, obviously. Anticipation. I don't know. Is it dorky to admit that I want to kiss you?" He laughed at me then, and I felt my cheeks turn as red as my scarf, and I began to hope the ground would open and swallow me up.

"Sometimes I think you were dropped as a child." He responded, and waved his hand at me when obvious offence took over my face. "It is dorky to admit, but that's okay, because I want to kiss you too. If the environment is making you uncomfortable, we can just go to my place?" He offered, and I shook my head.

"No, I haven't eaten all day anyway, and there's something I want to do in the park. Sorry, I don't mean to be like this." In what was possibly the most surprising, and heart-lurching move yet, he reached across the table to take my hand in his, looking me straight in the eye with his classic unwavering confidence. 

"Don't apologise, Eren. I'm nervous too. I changed outfit four different times before coming to get you. I even called Hange to ask her if she thought I looked good in blue." He didn't even falter as he said it, but my heart began to pound uncontrollably. "Come on," he added, "let's go for a walk." He stood up and placed the remaining two biscuits into the paper bag which had remained on the black tray, and pulled his coat and scarf back on before leading me out of the cafe, and into the park. We walked slowly, side by side, arms occasionally brushing off each other. He guided us through the park, turning towards the small lake in the centre. It was picturesque, with a path to walk around it, wooden benches occasionally to sit and watch the world go by. 

"Do you mind if we go over to the lake?" I asked, and he nodded, veering slightly left to turn that way. There were some ducks walking around, looking up at passers-by hoping for some food, and children ran around, mothers chasing them and warning them to stay away from the water. Once we reached the water, I pushed my hand into my pocket and pulled out the folded piece of paper, now crumpled from its journey here.

"Okay, so, like, as a cop, please don't arrest me for littering, but this is kind of a personal thing. have to do, okay?" Levi looked curious, but nodded anyway, taking a step back to let me have my moment. I kneeled down, the grass slightly damp beneath me, and tore up the letter into tiny shreds, sprinkling them into the water, watching them bob away from me. 

"Goodbye, and thank you." I whispered, as I stood back up, wiping the blades of grass from my legs. I turned to Levi then, who still looked confused, but knew better than to ask me anything. "Sorry, we can keep going now." We continued walking, elbows still brushing, until I suddenly felt Levi's hand slip into mine, grasping it firmly as we walked. I looked down at him, shocked to receive such covert affection from him, and smiled. He looked embarrassed, and it was adorable.

"You look constipated. Don't ruin it. My hand was just cold." I laughed at him, squeezing his hand more gently in mine. I had felt his hands before, felt them in my hair, most recently in the coffee shop, and last night on my thigh in my dressing room, but in the grasp of my own hand, I could truly admire the softness of his skin juxtaposed against the calluses on some of his fingers. It was like Levi himself, maybe seeming rough at first, but soft underneath the surface. 

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him as we rounded a corner towards a more open part of the park. He looked up at me then, smirking.

"Last night, you in your lingerie, opening your legs for me. How adorable you look when you blush, yeah, just like right now. How being around you makes me feel lighter, both younger and older at the same time." I prayed for the Lord I didn't believe in to give me strength.

"I don't know how you can just say stuff like that and not react. Every time you look at me, or say something like that to me, I feel like I'm going to die." He laughed softly, squeezing my hand again. 

"I do too, Eren. You make my heart pound, too, and all that embarrassing stuff. I just hide it better." I went to respond, but Levi cut me off, "Hey, wait." He said, "see the sign? We can't go this way. They're filming a Christmas commercial. Tsch, it's not even fucking April." I looked up, and saw the sign, sure enough, he was right. All around us, people were walking the opposite direction, heading back to the outskirts of the park. I look up, noticing suddenly something falling in the sky in the distance.

"Oh my god, Levi, is that fake snow?" I sounded like, all pun intended, a kid at Christmas. Levi rolled his eyes and looked to where I was pointing. Sure enough, I was right. 

"Yeah, but come on, we can't go that way." He tugged at my arm trying to get me to turn, but I resisted, pouting at him instead.  

"Oh, please! It'll be so romantic, come on, let's just take a peek." He conceded defeat, walking towards the sign and the snow, muttering beneath his breath about how I was such a brat, and how he's only do stuff like that for me. We stopped once we were close enough to be beneath the slow, they'd even set a thick layer of it on the ground, and it almost crunched like real snow beneath my feet. I couldn't quite tell what the commercial was for, there were too many people and cameras in the way, but I didn't care, all I was interested in was the snow. I turned to Levi to see him scowling, and so I reached up to cup his face with my free hand.

"You look nice in the snow." I whispered, stroking his cheek with my thumb. His expression softened then, and he looked directly into my eyes. I couldn't quite decipher the emotions swirling around in them, but it was intoxicating anyway. Begrudgingly, he took his free hand and placed it gently on my waist, still holding my other hand firmly with his. "Isn't it romantic?" I asked, for once, raising my eyebrow at him. He rolled his eyes in return, but inched closer to me anyway. The fake was starting to accumulate in his hair, in his eyelashes. He looked picturesque, his dark hair contrasting against the white, but his pale skin blending in perfectly. Like my own version of the ice queen from my tattered copy of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. 

"I suppose you could call it that." He replied, moving closer to me. He removed his hand from mine then, moving it instead to dust the snowflakes from my hair, resting his hand then in my hair, scratching lightly at my scalp. I stood, transfixed, staring directly into his eyes then, moving to press my body firmly against his. My heart rate had markedly increased, and thoughts of his skin, his lips, his voice filled my mind, making me feel weak at the knees. I watched his face, taking in every piece of it, from his dark lashes to his pink lips, pale skin, and long, thin nose. His lips were the one I went back to, staring at them, thinking about how much I wanted to press my own against them and taste him. His hand moved then from my waist to my scarf, holding it firmly as his own eyes traced their way around my face.

"You know," I said softly, still looking at his lips, "a first kiss is the snow would be pretty romantic." I moved my eyes up then to meet his, silver now swallowed whole by blown pupils. I swore felt actual electricity between us, pulling everything in my body taut with anticipation. My heart pounded faster, and I moved my hand from his cheek to rest it on the small of his back, bringing him as close to me as I could. My skin burned at the feel of him against me. The pressure of his body on mine feeling so right, as if he fit into me like a puzzle piece. 

"Oh, fuck it." He grunted, and pulled me down to him by the end of my scarf, hand still firmly in my hair. Our lips connected and everything around us dropped away. The only thing in the world to me at that moment was him, his lips on mine, the taste of coffee and cinnamon filling my mouth. The smell of lavender from his hair, the feeling of his hands on me. Every single one of my senses was drunk on him, and I couldn't get enough He felt warm against me as he pulled my head in closer to kiss me deeper, his teeth grazing my bottom lip. I felt a slight chuckle from him when he felt my moan, the vibration of it like a shiver through my whole body. His tongue brushed against mine, sending electrical shocks down into my core as I kissed him back as hard and as passionately as I knew how, hand grasping and releasing the back of his coat repeatedly. I was lost in him. Intoxicated by him. Every cell in my body screamed his name, like I belonged to him. I could feel our bodies melt into each other as he moved his hand to the front of my chest, right over my heart-

"Hey! You two! Didn't you read the signs? Get the hell out of here." We pulled apart suddenly, and my insides twisted when I saw that Levi's lips were swollen and wet. I was too disoriented to even process what was happening, letting Levi take the reins for me.

"Alright, alright. We're going." He grasped my hand again, dragging me away, and I just laughed then, high on the taste of him still in my mouth and the feeling of his hand in mine. Levi laughed then too, turning to look at me with a smile I had never seen before. 

"Is it dorky to admit that I definitely want to do that again?" He offered, and laughed as I swat his arm, telling him that yes, it was definitely dorky, and yes, we would definitely be doing that again. 

Chapter Text

Levi’s POV, continuing their date. 

It was my first “first date” in a long time, years, even, and though I did a fairly good job of disguising it, I was as nervous as a school girl. I had changed my shirt so many times that I began to contemplate turning up in my uniform, because at least that wasn’t an outfit of my own design. Eren did that to me. The hold he had over me was undeniable, and that was beginning to become very apparent.

Coffee, a walk in the park, and some lunch. It was safe, public spaces provided easy topics for small talk: how’s the coffee? The park is busy. Chicken or pastrami on your sandwich? I had convinced myself it would be fine, Eren and I had no issues with conversing, and the sexual tension was clearly there. And it was that dangerous train of thought that led me grabbing him and kissing him in the middle of a crowded park.

Christ, it was worth it though. As disgusted with myself as I am for the cliche of it all, when our lips connected, electrical shocks sparked up and down every inch of my body. I held fistfuls of his hair, feeling its silky texture beneath my callused fingertips. I tasted him, bitter notes of coffee and warm spices muddled together in a perfect cocktail that had me so intoxicated and begging for more. In ways, my public space theory held firm, because my ability to hold myself back would have been seriously tested had we been somewhere more private.

And that’s how we ended up in a sandwich shop across, sitting awkwardly across from each other. Eren’s cheeks were pink and his lips were still plump, and Jesus Christ, I wanted to jump across the table and take him right there and then-

“So are we like dating now?” He blurted out; eyes wide like a deer in headlights. It shouldn’t have added fire to the flame burning in my abdomen, but it did.

“Eren, please, use the few brain cells you possess every now and then.” He just pouted at me and picked at a piece of arugula in his sandwich, eyes downcast. “Eren, the kiss was fucking fantastic. I’m over here trying not to sport a chubby because I can’t get arrested for indecent exposure. I wouldn’t be acting like this with someone I wasn’t interested in.” He at least looked up at me then, partially satisfied with my response.

“While I’m delighted to hear about the current status of your penis, that doesn’t answer the question.” There he was. My usual confident Eren, sharp and flirtatious and totally capable of undoing me from the inside out.

“If you’re sitting there waiting for a proposal, you’ve got the wrong fucking guy, shitface.” He laughed at me then, the sound of pulling my insides taut.

“Well, I’m afraid I was raised deeply catholic, and I simply can’t go on dates and kiss men that won’t even ask me out.” He responded, grinning widely, blue-green eyes shining brighter than the sun.

“Eren, I’m pretty sure it’s ‘no sex before marriage’, not ‘no kissing before labels’, and I’m doubly sure it only applies to straight people.” I could tell he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Oh come on, you know you’re not interested in being like friends with benefits. I just want us to be on the same page here.” I could tell he was pretending to use reason and logic to appeal to my Type A self, and that combined with my burning desire to make him happy and give him whatever he wanted just to see him smile, well, I caved.

“Okay, okay, fine. Eren Shithead Jaeger, the most annoying man I have ever met; will you do the honour of dating me so I may continue to defile your body and take you for dinner after?” His head fell back, laughing at the vulgarity. I was nothing if not consistent  

“I’d be honoured. I’m deeply interested in the being defiled part.” We finished eating after that, exchanging small talk about work, how Eren had been talking to Mikasa, and eventually making up stories about the other patrons of the restaurant. Eren’s imagination was as sharp as his bone structure, crafting perfectly sculpted stories out of thin air. I just watched him, in equal parts awe and adoration, doing my best to disguise the adoration.

Once finished, we moved slowly back towards my apartment, taking in the scenery around us, and laughing when we saw the same commercial working who had stopped our escapades. The walk was slower than necessary, but I found myself enjoying the company, and the way Eren would occasionally brush his little finger off mine to try make contact with me.

We arrived around fifteen minutes later, and I led us up the stairs to my front door. I refrained from passing comment on how I could feel Eren’s eyes watching my ass and thighs as I moved up the steps, banking it instead for a better moment. Inside was where I felt the awkwardness settle. In a sandwich shop, there was a clear goal, get sandwiches. In the park, take a walk. But here? There was nothing but privacy and a desire to get clothes off.

“Want a glass of water or anything?” I asked as Eren made his way towards the sofa. He replied yes, and I pulled two glasses from the cabinet as I heard the TV turn on. Maybe there would be a gory horror film that could distract me from my cocks desire to stand tall. Or maybe Eren would be terrified of a horror movie, and seek comfort in my arms, and my cock would get exactly what it wanted. I drank two whole glasses of water at the sink before refilling mine for a third time and moving to the living room. I needed to remain calm.

“Here you go.” I said, placing the glass on a coffee table beside Eren, he simply smiled up at me and watched me as I sat down next to him, at the opposite end of the sofa.

“Are you afraid that I’ll bite or something?” He asked, eyebrows raised inquisitively at the space I had left between us.

“No, brat, I just want to be able to reach my water.” He smirked, moving closer the me then.

“Well, unlike some people, I have long arms, so I’ll come to you.” He stared me down, trying to watch my face for a giveaway. Surely he knew by done that stone faced is my area of expertise.

“By all means, make yourself comfortable.” Is all I replied, crossing my legs to disguise the tent growing in my pants.

“I’d be more comfortable if I could sit closer to you.” He reached a hand out to place it on my thigh, and fireworks erupted beneath his touch. So, I clearly wasn’t the only one who was feeling horny.

“Eren, you’d better watch yourself if you don’t want to end up with my dick up your ass.” He laughed gently, sliding so close to me that he fit beneath the gap created by my crossed legs. His head moved down closer to mine, strands of messy brown hair falling onto my face, before his lips paused right next to my ear.

“Maybe I’m not opposed to having your dick up my ass.” It was barely more than a whisper, his voice dark and deep, reverberated through me, and I felt my eyes close as stomach flipped.

“I’m being serious, Eren, you’re playing a dangerous game here.” He didn’t even respond. Well, he did, but it was by placing his lips just below my ear lobe and kissing gently. My eyes closed again, of course, he would find the one spot that could undo me. He moved down my neck, leaving feather light kisses, as he used the hand on my thigh to uncross and spread my legs.

“This is really something we should talk about, Eren.” He hummed into my neck, pulling back only for a moment to respond.

“I don’t like talking, I like kissing. If you want me stop, just say it, and I’ll stop.” He returned his lips my skin, sucking gently and nipping with his teeth.

“I never said I wanted to stop. I just want to know where the stop line is.” He pulled back for a second, eyes meeting mine.

“That’s fair. I don’t want to go further than over the clothes for today. I don’t want to become known as the guy who gets his dick out on the first date.” Him mentioning his previous first date stung, as if I would ever treat him like that.

“Do you have many more first dates lined up, that you’re worried about it becoming a pattern?” I snapped. He could tell it had upset me. I saw his eyes soften, and his hands move to cup my face. His skin was so soft, so warm that I thought I could melt into it.

“Levi, no. I don’t intend on being on another first date for as long as I have you in my life. I’m serious about liking you. I just meant I don’t want to be that guy, even if it only applies to two first dates.” My eyes narrowed at him, and he smiled. God, he was so beautiful.

“Well, okay then, over the clothes. Now shut up and kiss me.” he didn’t hesitate for a second, moving one hand to my chest to support his weight as he leaned down and captured my lips in his. The angle was awkward and our legs were tangled in each other, but it was perfect. Fuck, the way he could bundle me up into the worlds tightest knot, only to undo me at the simplest of touches. Everything around us dropped away, leaving only the two of us. My heart pounded beneath his hand, I was certain he could feel it, as he moved to deepen the kiss, pulling me in closer. I licked across his bottom lip, nearly moaning at the taste of him, as he opened his mouth to me. I moved my hand to the back of his head, wanting to feel the silken strands beneath my fingers again. I tightened my grip, pulling softly as he nipped my bottom lip gently. He moaned into my mouth as I tugged again, the sound hitting me like a tonne of bricks. I pulled back then, unable to get enough of him.

“This angle is horrendous, we need to move.” He nodded, leaning up on one knee, and motioning me to move towards the centre of the sofa. One satisfied with my position, he swung his other knee over me, and settled himself in my lap. He was glued to me, every inches of our torsos pressed together. I moved my hands to his waist, drunk on the feeling of him so close to me.

“You’ve neatly situated yourself right on top of my cock, did you notice?” I thrust up into him as I said it, delighted when I saw his confident grin waiver at the feeling.

“Fuck, Levi,” was all he could say, and so naturally, desperate to see his reaction, I did it again, leaning back into the sofa, pushing his hips down into me as I thrust up into him, grinding my now very firm cock against him. He moaned for real that time, the sound nearly enough to make a mess of me. His eyes locked on mine, and I knew he knew exactly what he was doing as he wrapped his arms around my neck and rotated his hips against mine, hissing out a high pitched “fuck, fuck, Levi,” as he did it. His face was fucking beautiful, eyes desperate, wet mouth falling open to say my name, cheeks stained a deep red. I was near breaking point, so I grabbed him by the hair again and pulled him into me, kissing him deeply and passionately. He let out another moan as he ground down on me again, kissing me back just as passionately.

Every nerve ending in my body fizzed, unable to fully comprehend everything happening around me. This was Eren, Eren the stripper I accused of theft, Eren the man who had cried on this very sofa about heartache, Eren who filled my every thought and dream since I met him. And here he was, straddling me and kissing me, and moaning my name. If I wasn’t able to feel every millimetre of blood pumping in my veins, I wouldn’t have believed it to be true.

But just to make sure it really was real, I ran my hands down his body, gripping his rock hard thighs, feeling him beneath me. I nipped his lip, and drank in the sound he made. Definitely, 100% real.

“Eren, I can’t fucking believe this is happening.” I choked out, moving my lips to his jugular, planting hot and wet kisses on the smooth skin.

“Me neither, Levi. I’ve wanted to do this so fucking badly for weeks. I want you, need you.” He tilted his head, allowing me better access to his skin. I licked across his carotid, and felt a rush when I could feel his rapid pulse, taste his sweat on my tongue. We were grinding full force against each other, I could feel his hard cock through his trousers, pressing against my abdomen.

“I can feel your cock against me, so hard already, Eren.” I whispered in his ear, before taking his earlobe between my teeth. He moaned again, gripping the collar of my shirt.

“You think I can’t feel yours? By the way, feels like you’re really packing.” I laughed at that, moving back up to kiss him again. He happily accepted, mouth open, ready to taste me again. I was rapidly approaching strung out, unable to carry on for much longer, and so decided to give it everything I had. I moved my arms to his lower back, pulling him as close to my as possible, and gathered all my strength to pick him up, before promptly throwing him back down on the sofa, and crawling between his legs. Even fully dressed, he looked like a sex god. His sweater had ridden up his torso, showing me a glimpse of his toned body, and his chinos had been pulled down ever so slightly by the movement. There he lay, exposed like prey waiting to be devoured. And I was his fucking predator.

I made light work of wrapping his legs around me and leaning down to kiss him again, messy and wet, as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me him. I began to thrust into him, my cock desperate for some form of friction. We both moaned into each others mouths, drunk on the feeling. I could tell Eren was approaching strung out too, as his grasp on my hair weakened and his moans became more desperate. We stayed that like a few moments longer, melted against each other, breathing punched out moans into each other as the friction and the desire and the heat became too much.

“Levi, Levi, I can’t anymore, it’s too much.” His voice was strained and high and it did nothing to ease the desire burning in me. I stopped thrusting as he stopped grinding, and allowed myself to collapse onto him, his legs still folded around me.

“I know, me too.” I breathed into his was, “If we keep going, I’m not going to be able to stop.” He rested his hand on my back as we panted, respiratory and heart rates slowly returning to normal. Though still hard, I had calmed down enough after a few minutes to lean back and sit, Eren too moving to sit up beside me.

“Fuck.” He just whispered after a minute, still dazed.

“I know exactly what you mean.” Was all I could muster in response. “Want to watch a movie or something? To calm down. I’ve got a few tapes if you want to pick something.” He smiled at me, reaching his hand out to cover mine.

“Sounds good, Levi.”

We spent the rest of the evening watching random tapes I had, which were all definitely birthday and Christmas gifts from Erwin and Hange. Eren’s hand stayed next to, or clasped in mine, more gentle kisses shared. He ended up staying in mine too, and even though he was in the spare room, a wall between us, he infiltrated my every thought until morning.

Dating Eren, I thought, what a lucky guy I am after all.

Chapter Text

Levi PoV, Monday after their date

As it turned out, most of Chicago’s Finest were actually Chicago’s Fucking Stupidest, and my workday on Monday consisted mainly of cleaning up the messes made by the weekend shift. I arrived early, after dropping Eren home (which involved him leaning in the drivers window to kiss me before strutting into his building. The image of which was the only thing sustaining me so far) to a pile of paperwork at least a foot high on my desk.

“What the ever living fuck is this shit?” I shouted, looking around for an answer. Other officers in the precinct just shook their heads or shrugged their shoulders, motioning to similar piles of paperwork strewn around the precinct. Dissatisfied with their response, I stormed into Erwin’s office, despite his administrator pleas that he was in a meeting.

“Erwin, what the fuck is wrong with the weekend crew? I’ve got a pile of case files a foot tall on my desk that looks like it was completed by a fucking toddler.” Erwin looked up at me, smirking, and motioned for me to sit in the free chair by his desk.

“Levi, we were hoping we would see you this morning.” He smiled his usual peace-keeping smile and my eyes narrowed. We? Who’s ‘we’? I turned my head to the side of his office, and of course, found Hange sitting there, no doubt plotting my demise.

“Hange. Of course you’re here.” She cackled and stood up to walk towards me.

“Little Levi, you’ve been neglecting us of late, and we think it has something to do wirh a certain sexy brunette, no?” I let out a “tsch”, crossing my legs in my chair. Of course, I would come here looking to discuss police work, and they would only be interested in my sex life.

“You girls should look up the Bechdel test. It’s a bit weird that all you talk about is my romance.” Erwin smiled softly, telling Hange to sit down. She did, but not before dragging her seat uncomfortably close to mine.

“We actually talk about lots of things, Levi. And we used to talk about them with you, you know, after work dinners or drinks, or seeing a movie at the weekend. But you’ve been a bit busy of late.” Erwin responded, keeping a cool tone. I kept my face blank, but have to admit I felt bad for ignoring my friends.

“Which we don’t mind at all. We’re always going to be here for you, little one, we just want to check in on you. If you’re happy, we’re happy.” Hange tried a comforting smile but it came across more maniacal.

“Call me ‘little one’ again, Hange, and I’ll break your face. If you must know, yes, I am sorry for ignoring you. And yes, I have a romance of sorts going on with Eren. We are dating, and if you must be teenage girls about it, we went on a date on Saturday.” Hange began to clap her hands and laugh with glee, and I got the feeling that this wasn’t going to be a short conversation.

“Levi! Tell us everything!” She was spinning in her chair, while Erwin pinched his nose in response to the shrieking. And so, I proceeded to tell them about the date, and how Eren had been staying over more, and that we were officially dating, even though I wasn’t totally sure what that meant as a label. Hange, of course, was more interested in the explicit details. Fucking pervert. Out of respect for Eren, and a touch of genuine fear of Hange, I withheld those details. We talked for a few minutes more before Erwin instructed us to get back to work, starting with the piles of case files.

“By the way, why did your administrator tell me you were in a meeting if it was just you two?” I asked as I was partway out the door.

“Oh, well, once I saw the work left by the weekend crew, I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist storming in here to lecture. I told her to tell you that you couldn’t come in, in order to ensure your attendance. Our Levi does love to be a rule breaker at times.” Erwin laughed again as I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind me, sighing as I walked towards my desk.

There was but one small issue now: all I could think about was Eren. I sat down to begin flicking through the cases, correcting errors, and leaving notes for people to instruct them to fill out what I couldn’t, but even the most brutal of images couldn’t distract me. Flashes of Eren beneath me, moaning my name, the feeling of his hot body under mine. They were all I could focus on thanks to fucking idiot, four eyes Hange and her obsession with my personal life. Even the image of her popping into my mind, which was usually as effective as a cold shower, didn’t perturb me.

Time to change the approach. I moved from my desk and towards the kitchenette to get my first coffee of the day, hoping maybe the lack of caffeine was the cause of my inability to concentrate. Normally by mid-morning, I would be on my third coffee, but I hadn’t managed to brew any that morning due to a certain long-legged brunette sliding onto my counter and wrapping the aforementioned long legs around my waist.

Christ, that beautiful brat would be the death of me.

I groaned, both at the frustration of my distraction, and upon realising the coffee pot was empty. What sort of shitface doesn’t at least prepare a new pot? It felt like the universe was out to get me, or maybe just trying to restore karmic balance. Having had a weekend from heaven (Eren, Eren, and you guessed it, Eren), of course I was now due a work week from hell.

The morning continued in much the same fashion, and so, once midday struck, I decided to take a long lunch at home. Maybe the cosmic cloud hanging over was geographically limited to my work place.

It wasn’t, and I ended up spending twenty-five aggravating minutes spent in lunch rush hour traffic.

Oh, and it started raining.

Fuck my life.

Once I finally managed to get through the traffic jam, I haphazard parked my car across two spaces and dragged myself to my front door. Surely, bad luck couldn’t follow me onto my own home. I immediately set my sights on coffee, preparing a fresh brew and moving to the fridge, the mechanical buzzing and accompanying dripping like music to my ears. I grabbed a chicken salad out of the fridge that I had prepared over the weekend and poured a cup of coffee before retiring to the couch. After a few bites and chugging a half cup, I at least felt like I could breathe again.

The relaxation didn’t last long though, as I turned my head to notice Eren’s green sweater tossed over the arm of my sofa. I rolled my eyes, that brat thinking he can throw things around my apartment, but deep down I was happy to have part of him with me on what was rapidly dissolving into a shitty day. Maybe Eren was like burning sage, and I just needed to have him constantly with me to ward off bad spirits.

Against my better judgement, I decided to place my lunch on the coffee table and turn to my phone. How mortifying; I needed to call my not-boyfriend because I was having a bad day. I tried to talk myself out of it as I dialed his joke number, which, embarrassingly, I did know my heard. I was unsuccessful, obviously. Logic tended to clock out where Eren was involved. He picked up after three rings.

“Hello?” I felt the anger begin to melt away at the sound of his voice down the line. It was like the iron fist over my heart began to loosen its grip.

“Hi. It’s Levi.” What sort of fucking greeting was that? Jesus Christ.

“Oh, hi Levi. Is everything okay? Are you calling from work?” The way his tone brightened, the way my name sounded coming from his lips, I was weak against him.

“Yeah, yeah, everything is okay. Just having a shit day. I think you left all your bad luck at my place and I brought it to work with me,” he laughed down the line then, and even if it didn’t sound quite as bright as it did when he was with me, it felt like sunlight shining on my skin. God, I was in deep.

“Oh, I’m very sorry. I’ll be sure to take it back home with me when I next see you. Very cute, by the way, that you’re having a bad day and decided to call me.” I huffed at him, annoyed that my intentions were so transparent.

“Well, it’s not to say the two are necessarily connected. Maybe I just wanted to call you a shitty brat to make myself feel better.” I responded.

“Yeah, but you didn’t call me a shitty brat, did you?“ His tone was teasing, he was definitely enjoying this.

“Oh shut up. Yeah, I wanted to talk to you because you make me feel better. Or at least you usually do, currently you are definitely just being a shitty brat though.” He laughed again, and I felt the crease between my browns soften significantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry baby Levi. Tell me about your bad day and I’ll see what I can do to help.” So I told him about the stacks of paperwork, and empty coffee pot and the rest of it. I left out my conversation with Erwin and Hange, in case he felt bad for being the reason I had neglected my friends. He told me his work schedule for the week, and we agreed I would go to the club for his set and take him home then.

After a few more minutes, I had to hang up in order to make it back to the station. The traffic had eased up slightly, maybe even just talking to Eren was enough for my bad luck to ease up slightly.

It came at a cost, however, as now Eren infiltrated every inch of my mind. I managed to get through a significant amount of work, but every step of the way, my mind was elsewhere entirely. The sound of Eren moaning my name, the pink lingerie he had worm for his last set, the was our bodies slot together so perfectly; all of it clouded my mind and left me unable to focus. By the end of the work day, I was too turned on and frustrated to give a shit about mundane paperwork, and made my way home without saying goodbye to anyone.

Being at home, though, didn’t help. Home was the place where Eren moaned my name and said he wouldn’t mind my dick up his ass. What a thought. I groaned at the frustration, and pivoted toward the bathroom to wash the cursed day off me.

I left the heat on high, craving the relief I felt when the warmth hit my pale skin. It did nothing for the filthy thoughts circulating through my mind, but at least it relaxed me enough to actually enjoy them. I grabbed the soap and lathered up, massaging it into my body and rubbing away the stress of the day. Deep in my abdomen, excitement of seeing Eren began to build, curiosity about what he would wear and if I would receive any special attention fizzled inside me. As I worked my way down my body, I felt my erection begin to rise. I debated ignoring it, hoping it would go away on its own, but realistically, it was a days worth of being horny accumulated, and I needed to do something about it. Well, at least I could say it would be irresponsible to go to Eren’s show this turned on.

I dropped my sponge back into the caddy and wrapped my hand around the base of my cock, feeling some instant release at the sensation. I pumped myself slowly, images beginning to fill my mind and dance around me like the shower steam. I could see Eren’s face in perfect detail, the way his wet lips fell open to say my name, the way his pupils blew wide, leaving only a sliver of blue for me to drown in. He was a drug I was happily, openly addicted to, and I could not get enough. I pictured him there with me, his hot and wet body pressed against mine, his hand on my cock, and I groaned. I could almost hear him whispering in my ear, the way his voice turned dark and sultry and flowed through my veins. I thought about his long legs wrapped around me, tan skin slick with sweat as he lost his composure without even taking his clothes off. I imagined him taking his clothes off for just me, pictured him lying on my mattress, ready for me to take him. I pumped my cock faster, the images moving faster, closing in on me as I approached my orgasm.

I came with a deep groan, my hand taking most of the load. I rinsed off as the panting turned back into breathing, and got out of the shower to get ready for the club, and wondered if u would be coming home alone that night.

I changed into sweatpants, as I didn’t need to be in the club for another two hours. I decided to make some dinner, enough for two, though I would never admit to anyone, even with a gun to my head, that I had made enough for Eren in case he was hungry after work. Hopefully he liked chicken fried rice. I ate quickly and for the first time in a long time, felt lonely. In the last few weeks, it felt like Eren had been here more often than not. Part of my mind panicked at the realisation that Eren had crept into every corner of my life but I tired to silence it. Eren was not like the scumbag men of my early twenties. Eren would not leave.

I moved to get changed, first washing my plate, covering the leftover food, and leaving it in the fridge for Eren. I pulled on clean clothes: slim navy pants with a white shirt, and I grabbed a grey cable knit jumper in case it was cold. The club was never cold, instead usually stifling hot, but you know the adage. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

By the time I was dressed and had fixed my hair, it was approaching 8pm. Eren had no consistent show time, it seemed to depend on how his manager felt that night, and the later you went on actually meant you were doing good and bringing in customers. Lately, Eren has steadily been getting later and later times, one night not even going on until 11pm when his shift was due to finish. The drive to the club was short and traffic was light. Driving with the window open, I could feel the light breeze in the air. I arrived by 8.15pm, parking down the street from the club, and quickly made my way inside to the heat.

The club itself was surprisingly busy for a Monday night, resting at about half capacity. I made my way to the bar and ordered a whiskey on the rocks before making my way to an empty seat just left of centre stage. Marco, my neighbour, was just finishing his act. We made eye contact and he smiled before returning his attention to the other patrons.

Two more dancers were on before Eren, and frankly I couldn’t tell you a single thing about them. Only once I heard Eren’s name come over the speaker did I sit up and pay attention to the stage. I watched, eyes trained on the side stage, watching for him. A second later he appeared, my heart beginning to pound faster. He had chosen black, and as he approached centre stage, I could see it was black leather. He was wearing the tiniest thong possible to still keep everything from falling out, and a black leather body harness that wrapped around his thighs and waist, as well as sparkly nipple tassles.

Yes, nipple tassles. Oh, and he was carrying a crop, you know, like the ones you’d find in sex toy stores.

I had never seen him in something so outwardly kinky. Eren’s whole act was that he was bashful, it was usually lacy lingerie or something more soft. Like this, Eren’s whole vibe screamed confident, sexy, and absolutely not bashful. I drank the sight of him in, toned, tan skin beneath the black leather, body covered in glitter, his strong leg muscles emphasised by the high heeled shoes he wore. Needless to say, my insatiable horniness from the day returned rapidly.

He danced his first few songs mainly on the stage, twisting his body in ways I didn’t know possible, showing off just how flexible he really is. I was entranced, watching how the light danced off the glitter covering his caramel skin. Eventually, he strut down from the stage and moved throughout the crowd, collecting dollar bills as he went.

Then he came to me. He stood in front of me, and from this close, I could see the smudged eyeliner, somehow making his eyes appear even brighter. I watched his chest rise and fall, and noticed it get faster as he continued to look at me. Finally, I met his eyes, just in time to see him lift the crop (which had been mainly ornamental to this point) and run it down my cheek, down my chest, and stopping right at me groin. I raised an eyebrow at him, smirking, and he withdrew it, instead slowly dropping down to his knees between my legs, and running his hands up my legs and chest. He smirked then, and winked at me as he danced his way back up to his feet and leaned down to my ear.

“You look incredibly fuckable. Can’t wait until you take me home.” He whispered, and before I could even react, he strut away, returning to the stage to finish his song. I spent the rest of his act trying to return my heart rate to normal, and once he was finished his final song, I made my way back stage to meet him in his dressing room, giving his manager a firm nod as I did so. That guy gave me the fucking creeps, and definitely was drinking too much whiskey on the job for comfort.

Eren made it to his dressing room before I did, so o knocked gently on the door before opening it. He was still dressed, sitting on his dressing table and leaning down to slip off his heels.

“Hey, come in.” He smiled, looking up at me, and I felt a little bit more of the inside me melt away. “Enjoy the show?” He asked. I nodded and laughed, closing the door behind me.

“It was certainly not like your usual. Where’s the BDSM kit come from?” I asked as moved to stand between his legs. It was his turn to laugh as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

“It’s Marco’s. He gave me some old stuff he doesn’t wear anymore. I saw the leather and the crop and thought it would be funny to see your reaction.” I leaned across to kiss him gently, a rush going through me at the fact that I could just kiss him, no second thoughts. That he was mine, and I was his. He kissed me back softly, smiling into my mouth, and leaned his head on my shoulder once he pulled away.

“This is nice.” He whispered. He sounded totally at ease, content to be here with me. I turned to leave a gentle kiss on the top of his head, loving the tropical scent from his shampoo.

“Yeah, it is nice. And I enjoyed your performance and your outfit very much.” He nuzzled further into the neck and sighed. I could feel his eyelashes flutter as he closed his eyes.

“Oi, no napping on me, brat. Come on, get ready so we can leave.” I stood back as he groaned in frustration and stood to change. He looked like a contortionist breaking free from chains as he unbuttoned and wriggled out of the body harness. I tried not to make myself too obvious as my eyes trained on him. He pulled a black tshirt over his head and turned to look at me.

“You know, usually when I strip in front of people, I get tipped for it.” He stood with his hand on his hip, and a flirtatious expression took over his face.

“Well, I’m afraid I’ve got no cash on me, but I’ve definitely got something back at my place if you’re willing to wait.” He hummed at me as he leaned down to slip off the black panties, watching me to see if I would break eye contact.

“I’m not sure I can wait much longer,” he teased, throwing the panties on the desk chair and grabbing his own underwear and trousers.

“Alright shithead, stop trying to seduce me in a seedy strip club. Let’s go.” He pulled on some clogs and gathered his bag to follow me out the door. He slipped his hand in mine as we walked out the back, and I pretended not to notice the gentle squeeze, determined not to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much he affected me. I opened the passenger door for him, and settled into the driver side myself.

“So, staying at my place?” I asked, turning in the seat to look at him. He smiled soft, reaching over the console so put his hand on my lap.

“If that’s okay?” He asked, and I nodded, turning the key in the ignition. “And Levi,” he added, “I meant what I said earlier. You look very fuckable, and I’m not sure I can wait much longer.” I laughed, pressing down on the accelerator to get us home as fast as possible.

Home. With Eren. I guess it wasn’t such a bad day after all.