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Today is the three year anniversary.
It’s been three years since Minho died.
Three years since Hyunjin lost his first love.
Hyunjin has found someone new since then, a man a year younger than him. His name is Yang Jeongin and they have been dating for a little over eight months now. Hyunjin hasn’t said one word about Minho to Jeongin and didn't want to burden the younger male with that kind of information. It’s been hard not to talk about his past lover. Today though, he wants to change that.
Since the two males started dating, Hyunjin hasn’t seen the hallucination of Minho much. It went from seeing him everyday, to every other day, to once a week, and now once a month. He hasn’t talked to the hallucination in a long time as well. In the corner of his eye, he will see Minho smiling at him as he talks or cuddles with Jeongin. Sometimes, Minho still watches him paint. Still stands behind him like he did when he was alive.
Hyunjin had moved sometime after Minho's first death anniversary because everything in that apartment reminded him of his past lover too much. Hyunjin needed a change anyways.
The tall male had just finished setting up his and his boyfriend’s plates of food when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. Jeongin places a soft kiss on Hyunjin’s neck, making him giggle. “Good morning baby,” he says, leaning into the younger males touch.
“Morning. The food smells great,” Jeongin compliments. He places one more kiss on Hyunjin’s neck before removing himself from his boyfriend to go sit down.
Hyunjin smiles and says, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” the other male says before taking a bite of the food. He swallows the bite and then asks, “What’s the occasion?”
The older males face falls a little as he avoids eye contact with Jeongin. “What do you mean?” he asks, not wanting to talk about it just yet. He shoves a bite of food in his mouth.
Jeongin frowns some and says, “You usually only cook in the mornings when you’re planning on doing something. I didn’t mean to upset you by asking, babe.”
“No, it’s okay, I promise. It’s not a celebratory kind of occasion. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while but didn’t want to until today,” Hyunjin explains. There’s a smile on his face but it has hints of sadness in it.
“I’m curious to see what it is though. Do we have to travel far?” Jeongin asks.
“It’s about a forty-five minute drive, so not too far,” the older male answers before taking a bite of his food.
“I can pack a couple snacks and drinks so we don’t have to stop, if you want me to?” the short haired male says.
Hyunjin smiles and says, “Yeah, you can do that.”
After some time, the two males finish eating and begin to get ready for their drive. Jeongin brings a small lunch box with a snack and drinks a piece for them. They agree that they’ll wait until they are on their way back home to eat them since they just had breakfast. Hyunjin places a store bag with fake flowers to put on Minho’s grave. He’s glad Jeongin doesn’t end up questioning him or looking into the bag. They sit down in the car after they’re done putting stuff in the back.
“Can I control the music?” Jeongin asks with a smile on his face once they pull out of the driveway.
“Of course baby,” Hyunjin replies, returning the smile.
The drive to the cemetery was filled with both of them yelling out lyrics and small conversations here and there. Hyunjin hasn’t mentioned where they are going yet, still finding it a bit hard to talk about Minho. As they get closer and closer to their destination, anxiety fills the older males body.
They pull into the cemetery minutes later, Hyunjin can see the look of confusion on his boyfriend's face. Jeongin turns the music down and questions, “A cemetery?” He’s looking at Hyunjin but the other male isn’t looking back.
“Yeah,” Hyunjin replies, biting onto his bottom lip afterwards. The cars comes to a stop and Hyunjin puts it in park, shutting it off. “Come on,” he says softly as he gets out. He makes sure to grab the fake flowers from the backseat. Hyunjin then walks over to the other side of the car where Jeongin is.
The younger male stays silent as his boyfriend laces his fingers with his own and begins leading him to a gravestone. They stop in front of one and Jeongin looks at the name on it. “Lee Minho,” he reads out loud, his eyes move to the dates on the gravestone, “ Oh, today is his death anniversary. Is this why you brought me here?” He look at his boyfriend, noticing that his gaze is on the ground.
Hyunjin squeezes Jeongin’s hand and says, “It is, yeah.”
“Who was he?” Jeongin asks, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand back.
“He was… w-was my boyfriend,” he takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly, “He was on his way home to me when a drunk driver hit the driver’s side, killing him instantly. I-I thought I should tell you about him. I waited so long on purpose because I wanted to wait until today to do so.” As he explained this, Jeongin had pulled him into a hug, burying his face into Hyunjin’s neck.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, baby. I’m sure it was hard on you,” Jeongin says, squeezing the other male tighter.
Hyunjin frowns a little and says, “It was… took me a while to even try to start a new relationship. I’m lucky I found you.” He pulls away from the hug to smile at the younger male.
Jeongin smiles back, “I’m glad we found each other as well.” They both lean in to give the other a quick kiss.
“Do you care if we sit down and stay for a couple more minutes?” Hyunjin asks, he continues, “I haven’t been here in a long time and it feels good to visit him.”
“Of course,” Jeongin says as he pulls completely away from the hug to sit down. Hyunjin does the same, grabbing the younger one’s hand as he does so. “How long did you know him?” he then asks.
Hyunjin sits the flowers down before he answers and says, “Since my first year of high school. My friend Changbin had introduced Minho and I. Changbin knew him because of one of our mutual friends.”
“Oh wow, that was a good few years then, wasn’t it? When did you two start dating?” Jeongin asks.
“My last year of high school. We dated for almost five years,” the elder replies, looking at the gravestone with a sad smile. “The day he died, he had a surprise for me. I still haven’t opened it to this day.”
“How come?”
“Parts of me didn’t want to believe that he’s dead. I think I am still that way sometimes but I have gotten way better with it.”
The frown on Jeongin’s face deepens a bit. “I still can’t believe that happened… Is this way you always make sure I’m never alone in a car?”
Hyunjin squeezes Jeongin’s hand and nods. “I’m afraid of losing you in that way as well,” he says.
“Oh Hyunie,” Jeongin says as he pulls the elder into another hug, “You don’t need to worry baby.”
“I know I don’t have to but I do a lot ,” Hyunjin whispers as he hugs his boyfriend back.
Jeongin pats Hyunjin’s back in a comforting way and kisses his cheek. “Do you want to stay here a little bit longer or go home, baby?” he asks.
“Just a little longer.”
“That’s fine by me.”
—
The couple has been home for hours now. Jeongin is in the bathroom getting ready for bed while Hyunjin is digging through the closet for the gift Minho was going to give him that day. “There you are,” he says once he finds the nicely wrapped box.
When he unwrapped the box and opened it, he wasn’t expecting to see a ring box and a folded up piece of paper inside. He takes the piece of paper out first and unfolds it. His lip wobbles as he reads over the note.
To my Hyunie <3,
I got this ring as a promise to propose to you in the next year or so! I hope that this is okay for now since I’m not able to afford the ring we were looking at a few weeks ago. I’m sure you will love this ring anyways! I love you so, so much baby and I really hope you enjoy this surprise.
Love, your Minho.
Hyunjin didn’t realize he was crying until a tear landed on the corner of the note. He quickly puts the note back into the box and wipes his tears away. He then grabs the ring box and opens it up, more tears begin to run down his cheeks.
The ring is dainty and silver with flowers and vines around it. There’s little diamonds in the middle of them. He smiles as he puts it on his ring finger, a few more tears escape his eyes.
“You should give it to him.”
Hyunjin jumps and turns around, there stood the hallucination of his ex-lover. He has his arms behind his back and is looking at Hyunjin with a strange emotion in his eyes. “To Jeongin?” he asks.
Minho smiles and says, “Yeah, I’m sure he would love it.”
“I will when the time feels right,” Hyunjin says, smiling back.
“Good. I’m glad you’re letting go, Hyunjin. I’m happy that you have him.”
Hyunjin looks down at the ring, his smile growing. “Yeah, I am too,” he says.