Archive of Our Own

It took Sunghoon a little while to notice the papers on the table in front of him.

They really should have been obvious from the beginning, but it was a Monday morning, and he was still hungover from the weekend. He fought off the urge to lean over and pull them closer to himself for inspection. Every interrogation scene he's ever seen taught him that that's how you get screwed over, and he had class to get to after this. Being jailed by campus police doesn't count as an excused absence.

Well, locked up should be in quotes. It's not like he's about to be interrogated by an actual cop.

Sunghoon got an email inviting him to Rowley Hall and ignored it up until the point he got another, more angry sounding email a day later. When he finally gathered his courage and showed up, he was sat in an incredibly stale smelling room, with the aforementioned documents tucked into a stark yellow folder, laid out in front of him, practically begging him to open it.

He didn't have to test his resolve for long.

"Have there been instances of students doing drugs in the dorms?"

Sunghoon looked up from the folder, making eye contact for the first time since the guy sat down. The cop—if he can even be called that—looked slightly ridiculous in his starchy uniform. It took everything in Sunghoon not to laugh.

Now, this is where the situation got dicey. That was a loaded question, one where the answer could potentially get him into mass amounts of trouble. Good thing Sunghoon has a few options, mostly born from loneliness as a child that led to a slight film addiction. He could always go with the trusty: "I have no idea." Or maybe play dumb and say, "Drugs?"

Ultimately, Sunghoon went with, "No clue." He thinks he's cool so he sat back in his seat and smiled the same smile he uses when he's trying to get out of trouble with his mom. It works for her, it should work with this guy. "I don't do stuff like that, and neither do my friends."

The jackass questioning him didn't have to know the plural friends is a lie—kinda, but not really, but also mostly. Sunghoon didn't have the energy to get into the whole Jake-Heeseung-Riki thing.

It might be worth mentioning—you know, for context—that Sunghoon's roommate and him are totally doing drugs in the dorms.

On his way out of the guys office—having fully accepted his fate that he's not going to class today—he nodded to Jeongin, who was preoccupied with what looked like a very disgruntled parent complaining about a parking ticket. He briefly wondered if the parking ticket was given to the parent, or if some dumb freshman couldn't gather up the courage to ask themselves, and instead had their mommy do it for them.

It didn't fully click in his brain until later that night. Jeongin working for the campus police. When Sunghoon saw him he had some passing thought like, "Hm. What's Jeongin doing being a desk at the campus police department?" but that was really it. Sunghoon isn't really known for being the smartest.

He remembers later that night, while he's hanging out with Jake, and texts Jeongin asking what the fuck he's doing working for campus police. You know, a valid question given the situation. Jeongin has never been his closest friend, but he knows enough about the guy to know working for any type of law enforcement is incredibly out of character for him.

Jeongin responds with a simple: Workstudy, and then reacts with a thumbs down to the laughing cat emoji Sunghoon sends in response.

Jake's rolling a joint when Sunghoon's phone buzzes with another text from him. Tell Jake to tell Heeseung if I don't get my shit this week I'm killing Riki.

"Dude," Sunghoon says, turning his phone to show Jake. "What'd Riki ever do to him?"

Sunghoon wasn't even aware Jeongin knew Heeseung—let alone Riki. He knows Jeongin from junior year chemistry, when he debated their teacher on how much damage ripping his own braces off would cause to his teeth in the long run. It's fun, going to college in the same town he's lived his entire life in. You hit a certain age and realize you're not the only one from your graduating class that does crazy shit.

"Broke one of his lego builds," Jake says, pulling a lighter from his pocket. He's reclined back onto Sunghoon's shitty bean bag chair his mom excitedly bought him off Facebook Marketplace. "It was pretty devastating to him. Pretty sure he cried after kicking us out."

"What makes you think he cried?" Sunghoon asks curiously, grabbing the joint when it's offered to him.

"He glared at us for about a week before informing me he'd sic his buddy Changbin on Heeseung."

He's seen pictures of Changbin before, and completely understands why Jeongin would choose him as his personal bodyguard…? Mafia-esque guy who "takes care of things"? Sunghoon frowns. "Why Heeseung?"

"Don't know." Jake shakes his head. "Maybe because Riki likes him so much?"

Which, yeah. That's a pretty good reason. Heeseung and Riki are just on the right side of codependent—though Sunghoon has all the faith in them tipping over onto the wrong side, and soon, at that.

"Shit. I don't think Heeseung could take him." Or anyone, for that matter. Not because he physically couldn't, but Heeseung is very much a "make everyone else deal with my problems" kind of guy.

"Yeah, I was supposed to tap in if it ever happened," Jake says.

"You'd fight a guy like that for Heeseung and Riki?"

Jake shrugs. "Why not?"

Sunghoon thinks Jake Sim is a fucking enigma, even more so than himself. He had his side of the room already decorated when Sunghoon moved in and waggled his eyebrows at Sunghoon's mom when she made a face at his interior design decisions. He's a Physics major or some shit—Sunghoon's been living with the guy for two months and still doesn't know anything about him.

He also offered Sunghoon a joint their first night there. Out of nowhere. Like seriously. All Sunghoon knew was his name and suddenly Jake's offering him free drugs.

"Oh." Sunghoon stared at it. "No thanks."

Sunghoon knew enough about the world to realize that being offered free drugs, operating word being free, was like a once in a lifetime opportunity. Unfortunately for him, he spent the first two years of college keeping his head down like a good little boy Sunoo so lovingly likes to call him.

Jake shoved it back into the little smell proof baggie he grabbed it from. "Shit, I wasn't thinking. How about an edible?"

Sunghoon shook his head, woefully uncomfortable at the situation. He'd never been the best at social cues, so bad he may know a lot of people but is only friends with a little. One. He has one friend.

"Wax? My pen is somewhere in here," Jake said, rummaging through it. The box was huge and filled with random bags. Jake's fingernails scratched along the bottom of it as he poked around.

His hair hung into his eyes, a chocolatey brown Sunoo would probably say suits his skin tone a lot. Sunghoon doesn't know what constitutes as suiting ones skin tone, but he recognized that Jake, objectively, was pretty.

Then, Jake paused like someone whispered in his ear the secrets of the universe. Or maybe just Sunghoon's emotions. "You don't want anything, do you?"

He looked up with wide, guilty eyes. As far as randomized roommates go, Jake wasn't the worst choice. Sunghoon liked that he cared enough to feel sorry, even if he had no reason to.

"Maybe next time?" Sunghoon said it like a question.

"Sounds good." Jake slammed the box shut and offered him a grin.

Jake Sim is also a drug dealer, which is obvious to everyone but him. Sunghoon takes a few weeks to come to that conclusion, because a giant, suspicious box apparently isn't enough to make his brain work, but nobody is surprised by that.

He held out for a month before he gave in. His speech about how this is college I'm supposed to have fun c'mon Sunoo like you aren't doing worse things in random bars in California repeated over and over again during late night FaceTime calls for weeks before he worked up the courage to attempt to subtly ask Jake to share.

Sunoo is his best friend that abandoned him in favor of sexy west coast bisexuals, because apparently that's his type. The west coast part bit the confusing part. Sunghoon doesn't really know what a type is, or what his is, so learning Sunoo's was a look into a world away from his own.

Jake took it well; really well, actually. He smiled brightly when Sunghoon awkwardly asked him to please get me high like a fucking loser, making him feel a little bit better about the situation.

Sunghoon side eyed Jake as he pulled out the torch, because Jake is crazy and doesn't understand the concept of easing people into things. "You know selling drugs is bad right?"

"Why are you complaining?" Jake paused to bring the collector up to his mouth. "You're getting free weed." He coughed through his words.

For some reason, Sunghoon was not at all put off by it. "Shit. You got me there."

So, okay. Sunghoon's roommate is a drug dealer. What else was he expecting to happen with a random pick? It's not like it's the end of the world—legality notwithstanding—considering small towns and drug addictions are inexplicably linked. He's probably the only one from his graduating class that made it this far into life without developing one.

The best part about a drug dealing roommate is the reactions of the people around him when they find out. In true Sunoo fashion, Sunoo about had an aneurysm.

They've gotten into the habit of daily FaceTime calls, because even though he won't admit it, Sunghoon is seriously suffering from a case of Missing Sunoo. Unfortunately for him—it's terminal. His only treatment plan is bothering Sunoo every chance he gets. Like when he's supposed to be studying.

"You're—Sunghoon…you're not being serious." His eyes were wide in shock, a hand covering his mouth. "Right?"

The way he stared at Sunghoon, eyebrow twitching slightly, made it clear that he had wanted Sunghoon to burst out into laughter, a lighthearted lol just kidding thrown out somewhere in between laughing and wiping the tears from his eyes. Horribly, that wasn't the case, so all Sunghoon could really do was offer a tight smile and shake his head.

"He invited me to smoke with his supplier tonight," Sunghoon replied, adding fuel to the fire without any forethought. He should have gained some by this point in his life, but Sunghoon has never been the brightest in moments like these, where life experience should lead the way.

"Oh my fucking God. His supplier?" Sunoo's voice pitched up on his last word; a tone that could have surely been heard by the pimped out toy dogs of his surroundings.

"Yeah," Sunghoon said noncommittally. "He's a senior or something." He doesn't know the guys name—or really, doesn't remember it. He's sure Jake had said it at some point, but Sunghoon was a little caught up in the realization that Jake was so much more than a low level dealer. Having a supplier altered things slightly, but not enough to completely turn Sunghoon away.

"I should've never let you chose a random roommate on your housing form." Sunoo sucked in a breath, almost slamming his head against the wall behind him. "This is crazy. You realize this is crazy right?" As rhetorical as the question may have been, Sunoo also made things abundantly clear for Sunghoon, on account of the lack of life experiences he mentioned before.

Sunghoon shrugged. He didn't really have many options for responses. "He's just making a living. Tuition is killer, especially if you're from out of state."

That was sure to hit Sunoo somewhere in his brain, a clue to maybe cool it on the freakout, seeing as it's half the reason Sunghoon stayed in their shitty town, while Sunoo left.

It didn't end up doing much.

"Tell him to get a part-time job at the mall or something. Why did his mind immediately go to selling," Sunoo paused, bringing his face uncomfortably close to the camera, "drugs."

"You need to wax your eyebrows," Sunghoon deadpanned, finally abandoning his homework that he wasn't even doing in the first place. The ruse was important; he couldn't let Sunoo know how little he actually cares about school.

"Says you!"

Sunghoon ignored him. "I don't think it's that big of a deal."

"Are you serious?" Sunoo asked incredulously. "Sunghoon." He took a deep breath. "It's illegal."

"So is having a fat ass but I don't see you behind bars," Sunghoon said, more under his breath than anything else, as he brought a hand up to card through his hair.

Sunoo stared at him, unimpressed. "If you go to jail I'm not bailing you out."

"Why would I go to jail?" Sunghoon asks just to be annoying. Sunoo reacts wonderfully when Sunghoon's being annoying.

"Holy shit." Sunoo made a face—the exact one Sunghoon was hoping for. "You really are stupid aren't you?"

He punched the air, making sure to do it out of frame. "You always were the smart one between us," Sunghoon reminded him. "That's why you're in California."

"And why you have a drug dealer for a roommate," Sunoo retorted.

Sunghoon could already see the stress wrinkles forming on his forehead. He grinned. "Think about it as a fun life experience not many of us get to have."

"Look at me Sunghoon," Sunoo said, tone thin. "Are you looking at me? Do you see my face? This is my 'you're a fucking idiot' face."

"You always look like that," Sunghoon replied.

Sunoo ended the call before he could say anything else.

Five minutes into being in Jake's suppliers apartment Sunghoon realized why he's a drug dealer: his supplier is hot.

He sits with his legs spread apart lazily and looked up at Sunghoon with wide, glossy eyes when he introduced himself. Jake spent the entire night employing some of the worst flirting techniques Sunghoon has ever seen, but Heeseung—Sunghoon finds his name out from the Riki, the tall kid in the corner that handed him a lighter when Jake was too busy being a disaster—must find it enjoyable because Sunghoon had to make his way back to the dorms alone that night.

He's elbow deep into a riveting mind-discussion with himself about Heeseung and Jake's relationship when he runs into Jeongin. Literally. He gets knocked down and glares up at Sunghoon from his spot on the red hot pavement decorated by the September sun.

"Damn," is Sunghoon's first reaction, because living with Jake has chipped away at his vocabulary to the point where he only speaks in one word sentences. It's a problem—you know, because of the whole College thing. How is he supposed to turn in intellectual assignments when his first reaction to a picture of an anatomically correct human is: thick.

Jeongin lunges for his knee, knocking Sunghoon down onto the pavement too. He's a bit of a wild card, Jeongin. Sunghoon spent the other night telling Jake stories of junior year Chemistry, because he's an absolute legend for making it his life's mission to derail that class.

Sunghoon's head thankfully hits the grass and not concrete. He ignores Jeongin's laughter and stares up at the sky, wondering what he did to get to this point in his life. A lot of recent events in Sunghoon's life fade into nothingness in his brain. Sunoo says it's because of the constant weed use. Sunghoon thinks it's just the way life works sometimes. They're both only a little wrong.

"Hey," Jeongin says, jostling him with a hand on Sunghoon's thigh.

He's uncomfortably close to the dime bag in his pocket. Sunghoon shifts so his hand falls off.

Jeongin grunts when his hand hits the pavement. "Hey," he repeats, shoving him a tad bit harder.

Sunghoon glares at him. "What."

"Did you lie to that cop?"

Sunghoon pushes himself up, squinting at Jeongin. "It's an insult to call that guy a cop. He only carries a taser and all the audacity in the world."

Jeongin cocks his head, unimpressed.

"So what if I did?" Sunghoon's starting to feel a little self conscious, which is nothing new when it comes to Jeongin. Not that he particularly cares about what Jeongin thinks of him, but he just has this unnerving ability to conjure up all the annoyance in the world to show clear as day on his face.

"Good." Jeongin laughs harder at that. "You'd be pretty fucking stupid to not lie to campus police."

"Do you edit documents and shit to make crimes lesser? Are you a spy for the people?" Sunghoon asks. Jeongin's role in the campus police department is starting to make a lot more sense, and on the plus side, sound like it'll come in handy if Sunghoon or the others ever get in trouble.

Jeongin blinks. "You need to get a parking permit."

Sunghoon stares at him. "I don't drive." He means that. His car has sat in a spot on campus for weeks, unmoving, and he has no plans to do anything about it.

"You've gotten eight tickets that I've canceled for you." Jeongin pushes himself up off the group, glaring at the group of students that give them dirty looks as they pass. "You're welcome, by the way," he tacks on, snarkily.

Sunghoon follows suit, wiping his hands on the front of his sweats. "Why would I be getting tickets?"

"Your tire is on the curb," Jeongin says.

Sunghoon doubts there's that much detail in the report, but whatever.

"They're seriously going to give me a ticket for something as small as that?" he asks, trying to remember where he even left the car.

"They already have," Jeongin replies. "You—and the system—just don't know it."

"Fuck," Sunghoon says, looking down at his hands.

It's at that moment, so resigned to his newfound information a part of his soul is chipped away, falling down to lay directly on his prostate, because God hates him, that Jeongin walks closer to him. He places a hand on Sunghoon's chin, forcing his head up. Jeongin's eyes are pretty, but Sunghoon didn't need to ever be this close to his face.

"You tell Heeseung to give me my weed, or we'll have problems," Jeongin says, voice low, hand digging into Sunghoon's skin.

Sunghoon bats at his hand, but it does little to make Jeongin let go. "I'm not a drug dealer."

Jeongin's face flashes with irritation. "And I don't do drugs, what's your point?"

Someone passes between them, pushing Sunghoon fully off the cement path. His sneakers sink uncomfortably into the grass where his head used to be.

"Then why are you buying them?" Sunghoon asks after a beat of silence.

"Jisung's too chicken shit to go to a dealer himself," Jeongin replies.

"He's afraid of Heeseung?"

"He's afraid of what Heeseung represents."

Jeongin doesn't give him the chance to unpack that. He lets go of Sunghoon's chin and backs away. "Just—get me my shit. Tolerance break Jisung makes me want to jump off a cliff."

"Aye aye, captain," Sunghoon says like someone that has no idea how normal conversations go.

Fortunately, Jeongin just rolls his eyes at him, turns of his heel, and walks away with an airy, but impolite, "Your fly's undone," thrown over his shoulder.

Sunghoon squeezes his eyes shut and wishes for the ground to swallow him whole.

Later, Sunghoon rolls over in bed to look at Jake. He's so blazed he can barely open his eyes. Jake's not doing any better than him, eyelids just barely open. "Are you fucking the weed man for weed?"

It's a genuine question; he's not sure how far Jake has managed to get in his plan to sleep with Heeseung. Or at least, that's what Sunghoon thinks is the plan. Maybe Jake's already achieved FWB status and is trying to move up to Boyfriend. He might have to smother Riki in his sleep to make it happen, but Sunghoon wouldn't put that past Jake.

Jake laughs in that full body way only someone who is on another planet laughs. "Shit man. Kinda?"

"Kinda?" Sunghoon questions, turning to lay on his side, and poorly attempting to look Jake in the eye.

"Well, I mean. It—" He cuts himself off with a high pitched giggle, rubbing a hand over his face. "Dude. His stroke game is insane."

Sunghoon's mouth drops open. "You're a fucking bottom?" This is obviously life changing information for him.

"Yeah bro of course," Jake says, "Love me some cock," and when Sunghoon cackles, he snorts and clarifies, "I'll do whatever, honestly."

Sunghoon thinks it's nice, how nonchalant Jake seems to be about such a polarizing topic as the male prostrate orgasm, especially with guys that look like him.

"Can…Can I admit something to you?" He asks eventually, after his laughter subsides. Sunghoon feels a bit closer with Jake in this moment, feels like he can be vulnerable too. It's something he needs to work on.

Jake pulls no punches. Sunghoon likes that about him. "Are you a bottom too?" he asks like he had it prepared, Apollo himself throwing him a bone about Sunghoon's personal preferences.

Sunghoon shrugs. "Probably." He most definitely is, but that's neither here nor there.

"Probably?" Jake blows a raspberry. "No probably's here. You either are or you aren't."

And well, if this doesn't bring up an issue. It's a non-issue to Sunghoon, the end of the world to Sunoo, and if he's being honest, Sunghoon isn't too keen on seeing where Jake fits on the spectrum. Nevertheless, he trudges forward.

Sunghoon pulls his bottom lip into his mouth. "I'm a virgin."

"You're fucking with me." Jake sits up in his bed. His eyes are about as wide he can realistically get them, seeing as he's high as balls. Sunghoon's a bit impressed. "Sunghoon. You can't be serious."

He nods, hiding his face in his hands. His body shakes with laughter despite the embarrassment. That's the nice thing about Jake, Sunghoon doesn't feel like he's being made fun of. Maybe it's just because he was the one that bit the bullet first by bringing it up, but Sunghoon's thankful nonetheless.

Well, until Jake opens his mouth again.

"You look like that and you're a virgin?"

Jake looks genuinely shocked when Sunghoon pulls his hands away.

"What does that mean?" He asks, squinting his eyes.

Jake stares at him and then does a weird hand movement. "Dude, look at you. It means you're hot."

At that, Sunghoon full body cringes and shoves his face into his pillow. "Thanks," he says, slightly muffled by the fabric covering his mouth. He pulls away when he hears Jake shifting.

"Shit," Jake says, settling back down against his bed. "We need to get you laid."

Sunghoon groans. It was always going to end like this, but he feels like his reaction is valid. "I don't know."

"You don't want to get laid?" Jake asks incredulously, "Dude."

"I do, I just—Like, it's scary." Sunghoon avoids looking at Jake. "I don't know," he tacks on belatedly.

Jake nods his head in understanding. "Boyfriend and then laid?"

Sunghoon fumbles through the process of thinking. It feels unearned to say that he prefers an emotional connection before getting undressed in front of another person, seeing as he's never even had a strong emotional connection with anyone that isn't Sunoo, but that really is the case here.

"Yeah. Probably," Sunghoon says, pulling his blankets up over his chest.

They're silent for a moment before Jake turns to him again.

"You're not allowed to look at Heeseung," He says, eyes narrowed.

Sunghoon laughs. "I wasn't."

"You were, but I don't blame you."

"He's not," Sunghoon starts, unsure, "my type. I don't think."

Jake shakes his head. "You're not really one for thinking, are you?"

"Sometimes." Sunghoon shrugs.

"What is your type?" Jake props himself up on his elbow to look at Sunghoon, something akin to excitement in his eyes.

"Pretty boys," Sunghoon says truthfully, if only because there's no room for embarrassment when your brain is full of cotton.

Jake does something with his face, twisting it uncomfortably. "Heeseung is plenty pretty."

"To you." Sunghoon snorts.

"Well," Jake says, dragging out the word. "What's pretty to you?" he asks.

"Soft. Cute." Sunghoon hums. "Can take care of me. Sexy."

A laugh bubbles out of Jake's throat. "You're crazy."

"A little bit."

Jake stares at him, lips set in a grin.

"What?" Sunghoon asks, suddenly self conscious.

"I'm glad we're roommates," Jake replies after a moment, quietly, but Sunghoon still hears.

Sunghoon thinks back to the past few months. Jake entering his life did a lot more than he expected; he has a group to belong to now. Sure, he was a part of one in high school, but they were Sunoo's friends, not really his. It's nice to have some of his own.

He huffs out a laugh. "Yeah. Me too."

"I'll find you a pretty boy, don't worry," Jake says absentmindedly, staring off into space. He fidgets with the end of his comforter, bitten down nails picking at the seam.

Sunghoon furrows his brow. "Should I trust you?"

"Of course." Jake nods, holding his hand out for a fist bump.

Sunghoon has to reach over to the point where he's at risk of falling out of bed. "If you land me in jail Sunoo will never let me hear the end of it," he says, hitting Jake a little harder than he intended.

Jake laughs and shakes his hand out. "You got it boss."

"I'm serious, Jake." He intends it to come out a lot more sternly, but that's a bit above his paygrade at the moment.

"I know." Jake hums. "I'm serious about finding you a boy."

"Thanks," Sunghoon replies, and then falls silent. He looks over and sees that Jake is smiling: soft, but genuine.

A bit of backstory on Sunghoon's friendship with Sunoo except it's nothing substantial and just what Sunghoon wants to talk about:

Sunoo lost his virginity when he was seventeen. This is important because it changed Sunoo from nerdy theater kid that sang showtunes in the music hallway before school to a guy that gets attention from boys outside of his immediate friend circle; i.e. Sunghoon.

It's odd to know so much about another person's sex life—especially someone like Sunoo, who simultaneously overshares yet says nothing substantial, and was Sunghoon's first kiss when he was 14.

Is Sunghoon a little embarrassed to be a virgin at his big boy age of twenty-one? A little bit. Does he avoid the topic whenever Sunoo brings it up during his moments of well-intentioned, albeit inappropriate, therapist roleplay? Of course.

"I just think," Sunoo starts, glasses resting so far down his nose bridge Sunghoon is starting to think they're just for decoration, which they are, because Sunoo has perfect vision, "that you're not getting the full college experience."

Sunghoon throws his head back, groaning. "I skip half my lectures and spend every possible moment stoned. Is that not the full college experience?"

Sunoo does this thing with his mouth, which Sunghoon recognizes as his It just crossed my mind how sad and lonely you are face. "Don't you want to meet like minded people? Ones that don't need weed to have a good time?"

Oh christ. He's going that route. "I meet plenty of people!"

In his defense, it is half true. He ran into Jeongin and his friend on his way into Heeseung's the other night. The one that makes Jeongin buy his weed for him. Sunghoon guesses he got over his fear of Heeseung, or something. Good for him.

"I'm going to say this as bluntly as possible so you can't avoid the question: are you not horrifically horny all the time? Why not try to remedy that?" Sunoo asks.

Sunghoon loves Sunoo so much, he cries every time he drives him to the airport at the end of the summer, and counts down the days until he's back in town; but he also hates his guts.

"I really don't want to talk about this," Sunghoon replies. He can feel his face heating up in embarrassment.

Sunoo is younger than him by only six months, but he's managed to fit more life experience into the past five years than Sunghoon has in ten.

"Just because—"

Sunoo cuts him off, huffing. "Yeah, yeah. Just because I'm getting some and you aren't doesn't mean sex is the only fulfilling thing in the world, I know. But you want to have sex, right?"

"Obviously," Sunghoon says. "I just—with who?"

"That's what I'm saying," Sunoo stresses. "You're not going to find a boyfriend in Heeseung's living room." And then when Sunghoon opens his mouth to retort, "A boyfriend worth dating. Seriously Sunghoon. I don't want to stereotype but you deserve a nice boy that doesn't need to be high to want to look at your naked body."

"You are so gross," Sunghoon says, pointedly ignoring the deep pit in his stomach.

Sunoo softens. "I just want what's best for you."

Sunghoon bites his lip, looking away from Sunoo's pixelated face on his phone screen. He has a point, Sunghoon knows he has a point, but it's not a point he wants to think about; not now, not ever. Realistically, Sunghoon knows he needs to be doing more than spending all his free time with Heeseung, Jake, and Riki if he wants to find a boyfriend, but the idea of doing something he's not comfortable with makes him want to vomit.

"I know you're bad at getting out of your head," Sunoo says, voice quiet. "I tried to help you before I left, and I'm sorry I didn't do enough."

"You did plenty," Sunghoon replies petulantly. His eyes sting but he refuses to cry over something so stupid.

Sunoo offers a small smile. "Not enough, I don't think. I always wished you could've come out here with me."

"No." Sunghoon shakes his head. "That wouldn't have been good. You would've just coddled me until I became and adult incapable of doing anything. I needed to stay here on my own."

"Yeah, I guess you did." Sunoo's eyes shine with unshed tears. "I'm proud of you."

Sunghoon groans. "Stop. Stop being all sentimental and shit. This is so gross."

Sunoo laughs. God, does Sunghoon miss him. "The second my next plane lands I'm going to hug you and never let go."

"Gross," Sunghoon repeats, but he's secretly looking forward to it. "You're coming back for Thanksgiving, right?"

Sunoo nods. "That's so soon, isn't it?"

Having Sunoo back in the town they both grew up in attached at the hip is a comfort Sunghoon knows he can only have for a little bit at a time. If Sunoo is too close too much, then Sunghoon will never break out of his comfort zone, which is the one thing he needs to do. However, Sunghoon is still, like he said earlier, counting down the days until he's back in front of him.

They're crowded in Heeseung's shitty living room one day when all the pieces start to fall together. It's early October, but far enough in the month for everyone to turn a blind eye to Riki's incessant need to decorate Heeseung's apartment with all the shitty things he buys from Spirit Halloween with Heeseung's credit card.

Riki stops fiddling with the giant BEWARE sign he hung up early and finally settles down on the couch next to Sunghoon. "Jungwon almost slapped me yesterday," he says out of nowhere, stealing a blunt right out of Sunghoon's hand.

"What'd you do?" Sunghoon doesn't really want to explore how morally wrong it is to get high with someone three years younger than him. He never claimed to be a good person. He also has no idea who Jungwon is.

"He said he was struggling with his art history assignment. Kinda like," Riki falls deeper into the couch, leaning his head down onto Sunghoon's shoulder, "did this. And like, pouted up at me. It was weird."

"He was flirting with you." Heeseung pipes up from his spot on the floor. Jake's head is in his lap, and Sunghoon does his best not to stare at the hand Heeseung has carding through his hair.

Riki sits up, alarmed. "Seriously?"

"Okay, even I know that's flirting," Sunghoon says, mildly proud of himself.

"Damn." Riki falls back in his seat. "No wonder he almost slapped me."

"Yeah, where does that part come in?" Jake asks, straining his neck to look at Riki. Heeseung gently pushing his head back down, furrowing his brows.

Riki shrugs. "I asked if he wanted some adderall."

His words freeze the entire room, but for reasons Sunghoon isn't sure about. For him, he can't believe Riki—intelligent Riki, the boy who skipped grades, who found his place in their little pocket of the world so easily and so quickly—would be dumb enough to not see what was right in front of him. He also assumes this wouldn't be a surprise to Heeseung, who knows Riki as well as he knows himself, but he, along with Jake, are wearing matching looks of shock.

Sunghoon is the first to break the silence. "You're fucking crazy." And then after a thoughtful moment, "You have access to adderall?"

"I thought he couldn't concentrate or something," Riki mumbles under his breath, slightly embarrassed by their reactions. The tips of his ears are pink, contrasting brightly with his stark, black hair.

"Riki. You know art. He wanted you to help him." Jake stresses the help in his sentence, completely blindsided by the situation.

"How was I supposed to know that!" Riki throws his hands up, glaring at all three of them. He sets his mouth in a pout so childlike it forces Sunghoon to recognize his age.

"It's common sense?" Sunghoon supplies. He cringes back into the couch when Riki lunges at him, giggling softly at Sunghoon's reaction.

"Not to me," he says through his laugh, and then sours when Heeseung finally speaks up.

"Call him and ask if he wants to get together and work on homework," he says in that tone of voice he uses exclusively on Riki.

"That's lame," Riki says, plucking yet another joint from Sunghoon's fingers and taking a long drag.

Heeseung stares at him, blankly.

"Fine." A large cloud of smoke puffs out from his mouth as he speaks. He pulls out his phone, pressing a few buttons, and then puts it up to his ear, dropping the joint off to Jake before walking away.

Once Riki leaves the room Sunghoon swallows his pride and looks at the pair on the floor. "Who's Jungwon?"

"Good kid," Jake starts, apparently playing a game of hot potato with the joint, because he hands it off to Heeseung. "A sophomore. Riki likes him but is too stupid to realize it."

Heeseung slaps his shoulder.

"What the fuck?" Jake asks, voice pitched upwards. His lips settle in his signature Heeseung-pout.

"Don't be mean to Riki," Heeseung responds, ashing the joint onto the rolling tray.

Jake shrugs. "I was just telling it like it is."

"How did you guys meet him?" Sunghoon asks, taking the initiative to get the conversation back on track. If he leaves Heeseung and Jake to their own devices they'll be here all night—with Sunghoon most likely watching their arguing devolve into actual foreplay.

Heeseung blows out a breath. "Fuck. Jongseong I think?"

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. "Jongseong?"

Three things happen in succession. Heeseung's head drops back down, eyes staring holes into Sunghoon's. Jake shoots up in Heeseung's lap to send him a shit eating grin. Sunghoon shivers.

He backtracks. "Was that a bad question to ask?"

"Holy shit." Jake throws an arm up to hit Heeseung's chest. "Babe, holy shit."

"Babe?" Sunghoon asks, incredulously.

"No way." Heeseung shakes his head, a little violently. Sunghoon worries for his neck. "It's too perfect, it won't work."

"It's gonna work," Jake says and Sunghoon frowns back.

"What's gonna work?" Riki asks, pocketing his phone. His cheeks are slightly pink. If this were a perfect world he would be clued into both Jongseong's identity and whatever happened during that phone call. Unfortunately, Heeseung and Jake seem too caught up in the former.

"Sunghoon." Jake puts the attention back on him. "How do you feel about frat parties?"

"Never been to one." Sunghoon feels himself start to sweat from the attention. Jake paying full attention to him is one thing, but Heeseung giving his all to anything, really, is a worry-inducing event.

"We're taking him to a frat party?" Riki questions, settling back into his spot on the couch. "Why?"

Sunghoon opens his mouth to beg for Riki to explain, because he can always trust Riki to tell him the truth, however stressful it is, but Jake cuts him off.

"He's never met Jongseong," Jake says, waggling his eyebrows at Riki.

Riki scoffs. "Why do you hate Sunghoon."

"Just because you hate Jongseong doesn't mean he's an awful person," Heeseung says airily, avoiding Riki's eyes.

"I don't hate Jongseong," Riki replies harshly, making Sunghoon think that he does, in fact, hate Jongseong. He's not sure how that should fit in with Jake and Heeseung introducing them. He starts to question the consequences of potentially getting involved with someone Riki isn't a fan of.

Jake rolls his eyes. "Sure you don't."

"I literally don't."

Heeseung leans towards Sunghoon—successfully forcing him back into the present, having decided maybe he should say no, if Riki is so against it—and raises a hand in an attempt to cover his mouth from Riki's view. "Jongseong TA'd for some Gen Ed literature class Riki took last semester and graded the hell out of everything he turned in.

Riki sits up in his seat. "I deserved better grades than the bullshit he gave me." he says, angrily crossing his arms over his chest. Sunghoon has to hold himself back from laughing, due to the fact that he looks adorable when he's angry.

"Oh." Jake drags the word out. "He's getting defensive. He totally hates Jongseong."

"I hate his grading techniques," Riki replies, face still stuck in his approximation of an angry adult. He only half succeeds at it, and Sunghoon only half succeeds at not laughing at him.

"Isn't it wrong for you to go after Jungwon?" Jake asks. "I mean, like, morally?"

"What?" Riki asks incredulously. He leans forward in an attempt to swat at Jake's head, but Heeseung holds up a hand to stop him.

Heeseung grabs a hold of Riki's hand, half pulling him off the couch. "He's Jongseong's best friend," he says matter of factly, rubbing Riki's elbow when he hits the floor with a grunt. "And you hate Jongseong."

"Jongseong doesn't care about me," Riki says, pouting. He pulls his legs towards his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and turns to stare at Sunghoon.

Sunghoon frowns, before bringing a finger up to point at himself.

Riki scoffs and flips him the bird.

Heeseung pulls his arm down. "Didn't he throw a drink at you last month?" he asks, gingerly wrapping his fingers around Riki's thin wrist to hold him in place.

"I deserved it." Riki shrugs, offering no context, which is such a Riki thing to do. Sunghoon is getting better at knowing these boys he spends the majority of his time with, despite only knowing them for half a semester, and their annoyingly incessant need to be mysterious and enigmatic.

Jake, Heeseung, and Sunghoon exchange a look.

"Really?" Heeseung pries, because he's the only one allowed to.

Riki nods, avoiding their eyes. "I ran into an old situationship from last year and was kinda a dick to him. Jongseong called me out on it."

"Wow." Jake whistles. "Call the papers, Riki's admitting to his faults."

"Riki has no faults," Heeseung responds almost immediately, batting a hand at Jake's head.

Jake catches his wrist. "You're biased." He smiles slightly when Heeseung relaxes, allowing Jake to take hold of him fully. The three of them are tangled with each other, Riki squished against Heeseung's side, Jake trying in vain to push himself out of Heeseung's lap. Heeseung, in the middle, unnerved.

Sunghoon is so lost, both about the conversation and the distance between them. "Guys. Jongseong?" he asks, knowing he won't get much of an answer. They have their freaky psychic connection that allows them to communicate and leave Sunghoon in the dust forged by mass amounts of weed. Sunghoon has his moments when he thinks, maybe, I'll get there soon, but the idea of it makes him a bit uncomfortable. He doesn't know exactly why, but he knows Sunoo would attribute it to his fear of letting people in, or something.

Jake smiles at him—eye contact so intense it brings Sunghoon's attention back to him. It borders on creepy. "You'll figure it out soon."

Once Sunghoon has a chance to think about things sober, he realizes the idea of Riki in a relationship—even if he is only referring to it as a 'situationship'—that isn't the triangulation between him and Heeseung and Jake, is such an odd thing to imagine, he finds it actually impossible to compute.

He starts looking for answers, or proof, or something to prove what he's been told. It's not like he believes they lied to him—his curiosity is in the same vain as people who go through traumatic experiences, and, in order to cope, spend every waking moment trying to scrounge up as much information as they can. Riki having real, genuine emotions for another person that offers him things other than drugs feels akin to the idea of aliens coming down to Earth and taking Sunghoon apart, just to put him back together all wrong. He's at a loss, insides all jumbled up, and a million questions racing around his mind.

Riki's Instagram proves to be a dead end. Sunghoon scrolls through all 182 posts on his main, and 1,928 on his finsta—which takes up an entire evening he could've been working on an essay—and finds little but proof that he wasn't always the Riki he's come to known. If Riki being in a relationship feels like being abducted by aliens, finding out Riki wasn't always Riki feels like an amputation. The phantom limb sensation gets worse as Sunghoon gets to the end of his finsta feed, the oldest post dated May 2017, caption talking about his excitement for a dance exhibition. The photo is a darkly-lit mirror selfie in Riki's old dance studio back home, and he looks about a foot shorter than he stands now.

Riki's youngness is a known variable to Sunghoon; something he tries not to think of outside the parameters of college life, like recognizing the reason they don't go to bars is because Riki hates having his hands marked with the blocky NO Chuck's offers to minors. His youngness in the context of who he once was creates a large pit in Sunghoon's chest.

Riki is an interesting kid. Moving from Japan to the states messed things up enough for him, but then he somehow managed to skip another grade, solidifying him as some sort of mini genius. He's not a drug dealer, more like drug dealer adjacent. Heeseung supplies him with things he deems not serious enough to permanently fuck Riki up in exchange for the boys company. Seriously. Heeseung has this weird Riki complex Sunghoon has never been able to understand. If he didn’t know about the whole Heeseung and Jake thing he’d be side eyeing those two. Or maybe he still should, Sunghoon doesn't know.

In just three short months Sunghoon has spent an insane amount of time around Heeseung, Jake, and Riki. He likes to think he’s some sort of trial member for the friend group. That being said, he’s afraid being an actual member of the group means he’s going to have to start dealing himself, and Sunoo would never forgive him if he went down that road.

They’re like some sort of weird family. Heeseung gladly gives into any of Riki’s wishes. He’ll donate a coin for a random pony ride in the mall and stand there watching Riki’s overgrown ass almost break the thing with a smile on his face. Jake will cheer him on and take pictures for Riki’s instagram. Sunghoon's scrolled past about four separate instances of it.

Riki is a computer science major that moonlights as an art major for the credits, which is how he met Heeseung in the first place. Heeseung likes to keep people on their toes, not out of realizing he's doing it, that's just how he is. The day after Sunghoon tries to get any information about Riki's ex without having to actually ask for it Heeseung invites him over for personal gain.

“Wait.” Sunghoon didn't even ask Heeseung to tell him his life story, but that's what he got. All he wanted to know was how many milligrams the gummies he was giving Sunghoon were. “What were you doing in an art class?”

Heeseung grins at him as he drops two in Sunghoon's hand. “I’m an art major.”

“Are you serious?” Sunghoon asks, staring at him.

Heeseung nods, snapping the lid of the container shut, and walks away.

So yeah. Heeseung is a drug dealing art major. Riki is absolutely hard carrying him through the program. Sunghoon has seen Heeseung’s art, and it’s interesting to say the least. He doesn't know art, not in the way Riki and Heeseung do, but he does understand the concept of having a muse, and Riki is definitely Heeseung's muse.

Sunghoon finds that keeping Heeseung company while he prepares for his mid semester review for his photography class is an excellent way to question everything he's ever known about Heeseung. Which—Jesus Christ. What goes on in his head?

"You realize you're sending a very clear message by having all of your projects about Riki," he says, looking down at the spread in front of him. He practically has Riki's face memorized at this point, all the way down to the miniscule mole under his eye.

"Who else would they be about?" Heeseung asks, and genuinely. He means it wholeheartedly.

Sunghoon honestly thinks he's the only fully developed human in his friend group. And—fuck, isn't that saying something. "Aren't you and Jake—like, you know?"

"What are you even talking about?" Heeseung side eyes him. "How much did you smoke today?"

"I'm not high." Yet, as it turned out. Heeseung definitely gave him too many gummies. Sunghoon can already tell he's about to become Too High.

Heeseung turns back to his prints. "I am," he says, picking up a particularly aesthetic shot of Riki at the skatepark behind the mall.

"Obviously," Sunghoon says under his breath, and then louder, "But seriously, what even is Riki to you?"

"He's Riki," Heeseung replies, as deadpan as ever. He turns his back to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon groans. "That doesn't answer my question."

"It's the only answer you're getting," Heeseung says, as blank eyed as ever.

Heeseung is a bit more difficult to figure out. Sunghoon doesn't know anything about Jake by choice, but with Heeseung it's like the other doesn't want anyone to know anything about him. Jake doesn't even know much about it other than the fact that he's fantastic in bed. It's not a great situation, hanging out with someone that knows more about you than you do about them, but Sunghoon finds he doesn't mind all that much.

Sunoo would find Heeseung horrifying. It's a thought that entertains him late at night, when he should be sleeping, or studying, like later that night, after Heeseung thankfully releases him from another few hours of staring at Riki's face. He thinks he might introduce them when Sunoo gets back to town, if only for the joy it would bring him.

Jake side eyes him as he cracks up in his bed. "What's so funny?"

"What do you get when you cross a drug dealer and the vice president of a book club?" Sunghoon asks, collecting his blankets up to tuck under his chin.

Jake thinks for a moment, glossy eyed, staring off into space, and then shrugs.

Sunghoon ponders his own words. He's not even sure what the punchline should be. "Me?"

"You're not making any sense," Jake says, pulling his blankets over himself.

And, well, Sunghoon doesn't really have a response for that either.

He exhausts all of his resources in trying to find any evidence of Riki once being in a relationship the day of the frat party his friends are practically dragging him to. Sunghoon even looked at his Linked-In profile, but all that did was make him question his own future, and he decided to put a cap on that before he had a mid-life crisis at 21.

Jake pulled on his sleeve as they were walking down the halls of their dorm building, chattering on and on about how fun their night was going to be. Riki gave him an approving once over, wearing one of Heeseung's ugly oversized flannels, and told them Heeseung had to do a "run" and would meet them there.

Sunghoon gets pushed in the direction of a closed door the second they walk into the party. Riki is behind him, hands on his shoulders guiding him forward. It's an environment that Sunghoon has never had the honor (?) of experiencing before. It makes him nervous, but the way Riki rhythmically clenches his shoulders to the music calms him.

He gets sat down in between two boys he's never seen before, or at least he assumes; he doesn't really get a good look at them. Sunghoon attempts to make eye contact with both of them, hopes of giving them friendly smiles as a hello crushed the second Riki plops down between them, effectively cutting them off from Sunghoon's eyesight.

"Hey, Jungwon," Riki says, throwing an arm over the back of the couch.

The boy—Jungwon, apparently—pushes it off. "Riki," he says curtly.

Sunghoon shifts awkwardly forward in his seat just in time to watch Jungwon and his friend exchange a look. If Jungwon is the one Riki is currently trying to inconspicuously put his arm around, and failing, then Jongseong must be the one sitting at the far end of the couch, face buried in his phone.

"So," Riki starts innocently enough, only clue to his nervousness being his pink ears. "I'm being told you might like me."

"Wow," Sunghoon says softly. "He really tells it like it is." He sits forward to try to make eye contact with Jongseong, but he doesn't look up. He sits back, disappointed.

Jungwon offers him a small smile that Sunghoon treasures, since he knows Riki is paying him no mind.

"Who told you that?" he asks, eyes flitting back towards Riki, who has now sunk uncomfortably deep into the couch, neck angled up uncomfortably to look up at Jungwon. He looks a little dumb, if Sunghoon's being honest. If it were him he'd take advantage of the height difference to leer above the other boy, false confidence oozing out, but Riki has never taken the conventional approach.

"You know," Riki says, trying to sound nonchalant, "a lot of people."

Heeseung must've had a conversation with Riki about Jungwon. Sunghoon can't think of any other reason why Riki would be acting so…demure.

"Your sources aren't very informed," Jungwon replies, but the way he smirks down at Riki makes Sunghoon feel like he's lying through his teeth—which is further exasperated by Riki placing a hand on his wrist and asking: "So you don't want to go dance with me?"

Jungwon grins, cheeks puffing out slightly. Some 2019 Taylor Swift song is playing loudly in the main room and his shoulders sway to the beat. "I never said that."

And just like that Riki's gone, abandoning Sunghoon in a house he's never been in before. He leaves Sunghoon with a wink before dragging Jungwon out the door.

Which, more importantly: Riki leaves him alone sitting on a couch with Jongseong. He's almost too afraid to look at him.

Jongseong doesn't give him much of a choice. "Riki is a weird kid," he says, finally speaking up for the first time. His voice, despite the obvious attempt to show no emotion, is melodic in a way that transfixes Sunghoon.

"Yeah, kinda." Sunghoon shrugs, unable to make eye contact with him. "Don't you hate him?"

"Oh," Jongseong starts, voice lilting. "Not really," he says, sitting back in his seat, "I just think he needs to get his head out of his ass sometimes."

Sunghoon nods. "Yeah, that's fair." They lull into silence, Jongseong reaching down to pull a tube of chapstick out of the bag at his feet. Sunghoon desperately wants to stare at him as he applies it, but finds that looking Jongseong in the eyes for longer than a second is incredibly difficult.

"He always manages to land boys increasingly out of his league," Jongseong says, clicking the cap back on. He rubs his lips together to spread the product. Sunghoon may not be able to look at his eyes, but he can track the motion of his lips with astute accuracy. He's so caught up in it he almost feels like he'll never be able to look away.

Well, until Jongseong sighs and says: "Sunoo deserved more than him."

You know that moment in movies where the main character learns some life changing information, and all the audio distorts as a way to show how they're singularly focused on what they just heard, brain working a mile a minute to try to compute? That's how Sunghoon feels right now.

"What?" He asks, voice punched out of him by Jongseong's words.

Jongseong eyes him curiously. "They like, kinda sorta dated last summer. Dated should be in quotes, because Riki doesn't date people, he just invades their space and takes their drugs and alcohol and hearts."

Oh holy fuck. Sunghoon can't believe his ears.

"You know Sunoo?" Sunghoon asks, eyes wide in shock. All the different bullet points are aligning in chronological order in his head, and he feels like he's about to explode. "Sunoo Kim, Sunoo?"

"Are there any other ones in this town?" Jongseong asks, mouth quirked up in the approximation of a smile. His lips are glossy from the chapstick. Sunghoon's brain is caught in between wanting to get more info on the Sunoo/Riki situation or leaning over and kissing Jongseong.

Which. That was quick.

He grew up with Sunoo, who swore up and down he was in love with every single person he dated, even if it only lasted a few weeks. Sunghoon is no stranger to the hopeless romantic phenomenon, but he's never thought he fit the stereotype.

For some reason, Sunghoon feels like Jongseong's going to change his mind.

It's a bit egregious, and entirely too early to say so, but Sunghoon learned a long time ago that sometimes the only way to get out of his own head is to swan dive, allowing him no chance to back out. Sunoo taught him that, or more accurately, beat it into him. He's thankful all the same.

Sunghoon wants Jongseong so bad in that moment he forgets all about the Sunoo/Riki thing.

"Do you want to go on a date with me?" Tumbles out of Sunghoon's mouth before he can really think about it. He barely even pregamed tonight, no proper excuse for him losing all control over his mouth.

Jongseong stares back at him. His eyes sparkle in the lowlight of the small room, wide in shock. Sunghoon thinks he'd like to get lost in them.

"Is your idea of a date going back to your dorm room to fuck?" he asks after a pause, eyes squinted like Sunghoon's entire history trails all over his body in fine print. Jongseong's reading him, cataloging who he is, who he might be, who Jongseong could make him.

Sunghoon shivers at the realization. "No," he replies, breathing out the single syllable.

Jongseong watches him exhale, eyes flicking down to his chest. Sunghoon puffs it out, hoping his thin, white shirt does him some favors.

It takes a moment for Jongseong to come to a decision. Sunghoon's weed addled brain makes it feel like a lifetime. "Then sure," Jongseong finally says. "Here’s my number." He pulls out a bright pink highlighter from his bag and looks at Sunghoon expectantly.

Sunghoon holds out his arm. "Cool," he says as Jongseong blockily writes his number. His hands are warm and soft and Sunghoon feels his brain start to leak out his ears. "I’ll call you."

"Sure you will." Jongseong snaps the cap back on when he's done before gathering his things and leaving.

Sunghoon's life changes in more ways than one after he meets Jongseong for the first time.

First of all: Fuck is that boy pretty. And he doesn't even seem to know it. Sunghoon saw him in the living room twenty minutes after their first interaction chatting with Jungwon and Riki, and being stared at by at least five different people. He's magnetic.

Second of all: Riki, the boy that gets everything handed to him by Heeseung for doing nothing but sitting there and looking pretty, the one that asks Sunghoon to do his homework for him on the daily, and the kid that Sunghoon cyberstalked all of yesterday for no reason other than his own curiosity, is the same boy that did that to Sunoo.

That being:

1. Made him dye his hair back to black after being blonde for almost two years.
2. Swore off dating for all of two months until he met some Mediterranean studies major with a dick piercing.
3. Forced Sunghoon to make an entire PowerPoint presentation of why he shouldn't get a facial piercing.
4. Made Taylor Swift his top artist on Spotify last year.
5. Inspired his final paper for his Love at First Sight seminar, which ended up being seven pages tearing down the concept altogether.

The aftermath of the newly discovered Hurricane Riki was what Sunghoon spent most of the last school year attempting to fix. He really didn't do as much, or as good of a job as he hoped, but Sunoo seems to be doing better; so silver linings, and all that.

Pulling out his phone and calling Sunoo for some type of explanation is probably the last thing he should do right now, so he goes to the next best person.

"Did you and Sunoo really date," Sunghoon asks Riki way after he last sees Jongseong. "Because if you did, morally I have to beat you up—"

Riki cuts him off. Literally. With a hand over his mouth. "Dude. Shut up." He cringes away when Sunghoon sticks his tongue out, cursing. "No, we didn't, you fucker. We talked."

"Talking counts," Sunghoon says miserably. He's drank a considerable amount of alcohol since he last saw Riki—or any of his friends, really—and as much as he'll commit to doing it, he really doesn't want to fight Riki.

"Not to me," Riki responds, wiping his hand on Sunghoon's shirt, face scrunched in disgust. "It only lasted a month." And when he looks back up at Sunghoon, currently teary eyed, "You don't have to beat me up. Seriously."

Sunghoon lets out a long breath. "Pinky promise?" he asks, holding out his hand. Riki sighs. "Yeah, but I'm using the one you licked."

His pinky curls delicately around Sunghoon's, and he leans in quickly to press a little kiss to the outside of his own hand. Sunghoon blindly follows suit, thinking he should do that same as Riki, like that'll somehow make Riki's words truer.

"Why the sudden interest in my ex?" Riki asks as he pulls away, dropping their hands but not letting go. He's like that; likes to do small displays of affection when you least expect it.

Sunghoon finds it sweet. "Because your ex is my best friend," he says, smiling saccharinely. Or at least, an attempt at it.

Riki laughs. Hard. He folds over with the force of it. "Oh, of course he is.," he responds, a little cryptically, the way he smiles and squints at Sunghoon making him feel slightly like Riki knows something he doesn't.

"I'm really glad I don't have to beat you up," Sunghoon says instead of questioning it, deciding maybe it's for the best.

Any response Riki might have had dies with the conversation; he turns his head to greet someone that tries to sneak past them, stopping him in his tracks, and giving Sunghoon the chance to sneak away without Riki caring. Not that he would, but he still takes the chance anyways.

The thing about Sunoo Kim, Ddeonu, or any other name you'd like to give him, is that for as much as his heartbreaks are overpowering, large enough to cover Sunghoon whole, crashing down against him like a tidal wave—he gets over them fairly quickly. Riki only took two months, which, comparing it to it only having lasted two months (not the one Riki claims it did, but maybe that's why it ended so badly) that's essentially a 1:1 ratio of Relationship to Aftermath.

It may seem a little confusing that Sunghoon didn't know the guy that uprooted Sunoo's life last year is the same one that once made a joke about them shotgunning a joint (No homo, he had said, eyes a bit too intense), but Sunghoon had spent last summer doing some bullshit internship at his father's company, so he didn't even hear about there being a guy until there wasn't one anymore. Ultimately, his absence from Sunoo's daily life was probably what pushed him in Riki's direction in the first place, like how Sunoo's absence from his own also lead him to Riki. Funny how things work out.

"About time you figured that out," Sunoo tells him over the phone two days after the party. He has it pushed to his ear with his shoulder, which Sunghoon knows because of how out of breath he sounds.

Sunoo is always booked and busy; he's taking an insane amount of credit hours, on top of his equally insane social calendar. Sunghoon gets tired just looking at his Google Calendar.

Sunghoon losing his mind over a relationship that ended a year ago is a bit embarrassing, and full proof of the gap between Sunoo's college experience and his own.

"Why didn't you say anything when I first started talking about him?" He asks, or more like whines. Sunoo has fully known that Riki is a part of his circle since he became a part of the circle.

"Didn't want to," is all Sunoo says before changing the topic completely. "Hey, I'm about to step into my Eating Disorders lecture. Can I call you back later?"

"That's an actual class?" Sunghoon asks incredulously. "Whatever, I'll call you later."

Intensely specific classes Sunoo's fancy school offers notwithstanding, Sunghoon takes his Sunoo-less time to categorize his thoughts. Not that there's much to categorize. Actually, there isn't anything to categorize, so Sunghoon spends the hour and fifteen minutes staring up at the ceiling thinking about nothing.

Sunoo calls him back ten minutes after Sunghoon abandons not thinking in favor of falling asleep.

"Stop being asleep when I call you, it's the middle of the afternoon," he says when Sunghoon groggily answers the call.

Sunghoon sniffles. "Daily naps are essential to my daily routine."

"Do you want to know about Riki, or do you want to sleep?" Sunoo asks, sighing.

Sunghoon weighs his options.

On one hand, he could learn more about Riki as a person, which—as previously stated—he knows nothing about Jake by choice and Heeseung because he's Heeseung; Riki is a bit of an outlier. Sunghoon would say he knows more about him than the other two, but he's not sure if what he knows is at all relevant.

However, sleeping sounds orgasmic.

"I'm gonna sleep," Sunghoon decides. "Good night." He hears half a laugh from Sunoo before he hangs up the phone.

In tenth grade, Sunghoon was informed the girl that sat across from him in his English class had a crush on him. Looking back, it was a fairly obvious crush, but the vast majority of Sunghoon's charm has always been his obliviousness. Sunoo was the one that told him, because it was always his job to tell Sunghoon everything he didn't realize. All this is to say, Sunghoon didn't date in high school. See also: the big fat problem that is his unkillable virginity.

The problem isn't/wasn't that he views dating as some unnecessary, time-consuming, thing he doesn't want to deal with. That would be making things easy. The problem is that Sunghoon spends about 80% of his life stuck in his head, unable to join the metaphorical party that is life to a fully functioning human being, and because of that things like flirting and courtship go right over his head.

Sunoo has been in two (real, not whatever Riki was) relationships. Not that that matters much to him, but Sunghoon has this ugly habit of keeping score between them that he can't quit, so it's an ever present fact in his head.

Another thing that is incredibly present in his head: falling in love with a boy after he mentions knowing your best friend is decidedly not normal. Though, when has Sunghoon ever been described as normal, despite his half-assed attempts to fall into the mold.

Sunghoon's only a little high when he calls Jongseong for the first time. If anyone asks, it's Riki's fault, but Sunghoon didn't exactly say no to having a bit of smoke-filled courage.

Jongseong answers with an edge to his voice.

"Um. Hi. Jongseong. This is Sunghoon." He can already feel his face heating up, which isn't being helped by the butane torch in Jake's hand.

Riki cackles from his spot in Heeseung's arms. Heeseung shushes him lightly, watching Sunghoon with abrupt fascination.

"...Sunghoon?" Jongseong's voice wafts from the tiny speakers into the room, soft and confused. Riki made him put the phone on speaker ("Moral support," he said, scooping up some wax for Heeseung. "We're here for you, man.") and Sunghoon is regretting it.

Sunghoon's eye twitches—most likely from embarrassment. "From the party?"

"Riki's friend." Something in Jongseong's voice shifts. "Tall. Dark hair?" he asks, realization coloring his words.

Sunghoon nods despite knowing Jongseong can't see him. Heeseung and Riki snicker. "Yeah," he replies, eyes steadily trained on the duration time of the call. It amazes him that it only took fifteen seconds to embarrass himself.

"What do you want?" Jongseong asks, with a sense of finality that Sunghoon realizes indicates how much he does not want to be having this conversation right now. He can relate, that's for sure.

Unfortunately, Sunghoon is practicing the 'Make a decision and go through with it' lesson Sunoo gave him the summer before their first year of college. "I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me," he asks while he still can muster the courage to do.

Jongseong's silent for a moment. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," Sunghoon replies. "Very."

There's a minute where Sunghoon thinks maybe he should come to terms with the fact that he just made a fool of himself. Jongseong goes quiet again, and Sunghoon begins to mentally draft out an annoyingly incoherent apology when he hears a hum coming from Jongseong.

"I'm free Friday night," he says, the sounds of him seemingly flipping through a notebook faintly audible. "Does that work with your schedule?"

A breathy, "That's so good, so am I," falls from Sunghoon's mouth without little input from himself.

Riki throws his head back and cackles.

"Okay," Jongseong responds, annoyingly unshaken, like Sunghoon, who has just decided to never speak again. "I'll text you later."

Sunghoon's alone when he gets Jongseong's first text. Riki had made him promise to send them screenshots, but staring at it now, he would much rather keep it to himself. It's a simple What's your schedule like next week?, to which he receives a screenshot of Sunghoon's Google Calendar in response.

Jongseong has read receipts on, absolutely flooring Sunghoon, and four seconds after the little Read. pops up Sunghoon's screen is taken over by a FaceTime notification. It feels a bit early for FaceTime calls, but Sunghoon accepts nonetheless.

"I know I said Friday, but I have a meeting at four. If you're alright with dinner we can do that after it," Jongseong says when the call connects. He's sat at his desk, calling him from his laptop, and not even bothering to look up from his work. The sheer amount of not-giving-a-fuck gets Sunghoon all hot and bothered.

"I can do that," Sunghoon says, and then scrambles to throw out a quick, "What's your meeting for?" when Jongseong's hand moves to end the call.

Jongseong looks up, surprised. "Creative Arts Society," he says after a pause. His eyes are wide and bright, the shock wearing away to show something akin to wonder.

Sunghoon feels a bit like he's won some prize he never thought he would. He clears his throat and asks, "Are you an art major?" It's a necessary question, considering Sunghoon doesn't know anything about Jongseong other than the fact that he's hot.

"No," Jongseong says, setting his pen down. He looks back into the camera, all distractions gone, giving Sunghoon his full attention. "Riki is."

That's a fact Sunghoon already knows, and well. His art is actually pretty good by Sunghoon's standards, which are incredibly low, but still. Heeseung and Riki met in ART 482; Sunghoon only knows this because 0482 is Riki's phone passcode. The codependency between those two is so strong and so puzzling it makes Sunghoon think Sunoo would want to study them.

Speaking of Heeseung and Riki: according to the timeline Sunghoon has a vague understanding of, they met around the same time Riki and Jongseong met. He wonders what Jongseong's opinion of the dynamic is, but feels like that isn't a question he should be asking yet.

Instead, he tilts his head to the side, mimicking the way Sunoo does when he's asking him a question he already knows the answer to, and asks, "And you stayed in the club?"

"I like the people," Jongseong says and shrugs, "And it's not like Riki ever shows up to meetings." He scrunches his mouth into a pout, lips pink and sticky, probably from that damn chapstick.

Sunghoon's mouth dries out uncomfortably fast. "Fair," he says, and then coughs. Jongseong looks at him with vague concern as he scrambles to grab for a water bottle. He stretches to reach for Jake's on his desk. "Sorry." Sunghoon smiles at him before taking a drink, and then immediately chokes. "What the fuck?"

"Are you alright?" Jongseong asks, eyebrows knitted together, vague concern morphing into actual concern.

"Why is there vodka in this?" Sunghoon asks through his coughs, lifting up the Hydro Flask to inspect it. It's a pale blueish purple, decorated with random stickers Jake has collected over the semester. His mom bought it for him a week into classes, after she called to check in and he proudly proclaimed how little water he drinks. Sunghoon had to shove his face into his pillow to muffle how loud he laughed at the way she absolutely tore into him.

Jongseong raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Do you not remember putting it in there?"

"It's Jake's waterbottle."

"Oh," Jongseong responds. "Then why are you surprised?"

Fair point. "I'm more disappointed than surprised."

"I guess that's fair," Jongseong says, and then purses his lips. "Hey, what are you doing this weekend? There's a party on Saturday at Alpha Gamma Delta."

"We haven't even gone on our first date and you're already asking me out again?" Sunghoon asks, surprised, and then unconsciously adds on, "Is it because I look good choking?"

Jongseong laughs a little too hard at his words, but responds before Sunghoon can question it. "Yunjin likes sneaking me in, but likes when I bring other guys more."

"Oh?" Sunghoon aks. "So I'm just an offering to sorority girls?"

"No, you're the distraction while I steal alcohol from them," Jongseong says, tone verging on something that reminds Sunghoon of the cutesy voice Sunoo uses sometimes. It's entirely too endearing.

Sunghoon grins. "Sick."

By the time Friday rolls around, Sunghoon is—unfortunately—reminded of the fact that he has absolutely no game whatsoever, and probably won't fare well on a date; especially on a date with someone that looks like Jongseong. He spent tiny intervals all week trying to learn as much about Jongseong as humanely possible through his various forms of social media.

He's made a list of possible things to bring up during dinner. 1. Jungwon. 2. Art. 3. Literature.

The first is going to prove to be quite difficult, seeing as Sunghoon doesn't really know the guy, but at least he can bring up whatever is going on between Riki and him.

The second will also lead back to his friend group, because all of Sunghoon's art knowledge comes from whatever Heeseung does. How much Jongseong wants to know about Heeseung and Riki's codependent relationship, Sunghoon isn't sure, but it's probably not the best thing to bring up on a date.

The third is Jongseong's major, which is another thing Sunghoon doesn't know much about. He was always more of a film buff, and could never find it in himself to actually pick up a book and read.

It's not looking too good for him, but smart people tend to find Sunghoon's overall obliviousness cute, so he's hoping Jongseong agrees.

Sunghoon takes Jongseong to IHop for their first date. It's cost effective, and if Jongseong doesn't appreciate a good pancake, then Sunghoon doesn't want to date him.

"What?" Riki asked incredulously when Sunghoon told their little group his plans, head resting on Heeseung's thigh as he played on his switch. "You know, I thought it was just nervousness from being around new people, but now I just think you're actually insane."

Sunghoon laughed nervously. "Huh?" And then when Riki tilted his head up too narrow his eyes at him, he flushed and rubbed the back of his neck, "Whatever. Do you think it's a bad idea?"

Riki sat up completely at that, his face doing that thing he does when he gets excited, eyes wanting to blow wide, but his brain stopping them from doing so. "Oh yeah, great idea Sunghoon. Keep up the good work!"

Sunghoon's face sours at the memory, but he's quick to replace it with what he's hoping is an endearing smile that will make Jongseong fall for him.

They're sat down by a bored middle aged woman, her apron double knotted at her side, and Sunghoon directs his smile at her as she hands them menus. She scrunches her face in response.

"So," Sunghoon says when they settle into the booth. "How was your week?"

Jongseong makes a face at him "You asked me that in the car."

Fuck. He did, didn't he? Sunghoon's brain short circuited a bit when he picked up Jongseong, his tiny, toned body overriding any and all software in Sunghoon's brain that keeps him running on the daily.

"Sorry." Sunghoon says bashfully. He makes a face, desperately trying to come up with another topic. "Um…your meeting! How was your meeting?"

Jongseong smiles at him, a soft thing, eyes twinkling in the rather aggressive lighting of their booth.

Sunghoon feels himself start to sweat. "Did I ask that already too?"

"No," Jongseong confesses. "You're nervous," he states instead of responding to Sunghoon's question.

And because Sunghoon has no sense of shame, he truthfully responds with, "I've never done this before."

"Gone on a date with a guy?" Jongseong asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Gone on a date period."

That seems to hit Jongseong hard. "Oh? That's cool."

"Not really," Sunghoon replies, fingers fidgeting with his wrapped silverware. He rips the paper holding it together carefully, trying not to make too much of a fuss about it, and then unwraps the napkin, revealing the fork and knife.

"So you've like—I mean, you've never…" Jongseong trails off, struggling to find the words.

Sunghoon's ears burn. He lines the silverware up on his napkin, avoiding Jongseong's eyes. "Anything you could say to make fun of me, I've heard before."

"No!" Jongseong says a bit too loud. He smiles apologetically. "Sorry—just—no, I'm not making fun of you."

Sunghoon's so distracted by Jongseong's smile he doesn't notice their server approach their table until he hears a laugh, and even then he doesn't look up. Instead, he focuses on Jongseong and the way he seems to have relaxed, shoulders not up to his ears anymore. He's attractive when he's comfortably, tragically so, seeing as it's enough to distract Sunghoon from the worst possible thing that could happen to him today.

He hears a throat being cleared, and only then does Sunghoon finally tear his eyes from Jongseong.

"What are you guys doing here?" Their waiter asks, flipping open the order book, but Sunghoon guesses it's a bit better to say his name, a la Harry Potter after Voldemort came back, to not give him as much power.

Riki, standing in front of them, like he has a right to be there, stares back at Sunghoon. He can't be here. Like, seriously. This can't be happening.

Sunghoon looks him up and down in disbelief. "Is this some sort of joke?"

"You took me to Riki's job on our first date?" Jongseong asks, eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them. His face sours and Sunghoon starts to panic.

"No really," Sunghoon says, if a little bit hysterically, "are Heeseung and Jake somewhere recording this?" He places a hand on his seat to get some leverage, popping his head up above the booths, searching for them.

Riki scowls. "Can I get my bag in peace?"

And the worst part of it all: he's wearing the uniform. If it were a joke he wouldn't be wearing the uniform. Sunghoon internally screams.

"You don't need a job. Why do you have a job?" Sunghoon reaches a hand up to tug at his hair. "You get your drugs for free."

Riki shrugs. "It's hard to live."

"What the fuck?" Jongseong asks under his breath.

Riki levels them with a look, clicking his pen incessantly. "Do you guys want something to drink or not?" he asks roughly.

Sunghoon glances at Jongseong, hoping for some sign that he's dreaming, or something. Maybe that he actually got sent straight into a coma over the summer, and he's made up Riki's entire existence—but then that'd mean he made up Jongseong as well.

Jongseong raises a brow at him. "A water," he says, still looking at Sunghoon.

Sunghoon forfeits. "Same."

As far as dates go, Sunghoon actually thinks it went pretty well—Riki cameo notwithstanding. Jongseong only hated half of his jokes, which he considers an absolute win.

Sunghoon walks him back to his dorm room, two floors below his own. They stop just in front of Jongseong's door, and Sunghoon waits patiently as he digs in his bag for his ID card.

"This was fun," Sunghoon says, suddenly overcome with the need to fill the empty silence.

Jongseong looks up from his bag, surprised. "Yeah, actually. It was."

He says it like it shocks him too, like he never considered he would enjoy himself, which kinda checks out. Sunghoon had the feeling Jongseong was really only in this for the free food, but it actually ended up helping him get out of his own head. The stakes were low for Jongseong, so they were low for himself too.

"Can we do it again sometime?" Sunghoon asks when Jongseong finally gets his hand on his ID.

"I'll call you," Jongseong replies, holding it up to the scanner on his door.

Sunghoon grins. "Cool."

Jongseong tugs at the door handle once it shines green, pushing it open before freezing. He sticks his foot in the doorway and pivots, grabbing Sunghoon by the shoulder, and placing a quick kiss to his cheek.

"Bye," he says smiling, and then dips into the room, leaving Sunghoon to stand there like a complete idiot.

He'll take what he can get, and to Sunghoon, this was far much more than he was expecting.

Unlike what Sunghoon was expecting, Jongseong calls him the day after their first date to ask if he still wants to accompany him to the party, which is how Sunghoon finds himself sitting on Jongseong's twin XL bed picking at the rips in his jeans while Jongseong ignores him in favor of picking out an outfit. He's nothing like Sunoo, who turns his bedroom into a war zone every time he needs to get ready, but he's still meticulous in his efforts. Sunghoon thinks it's totally hot.

They sit in silence while Jongseong does his thing, which gives Sunghoon the perfect opportunity to overthink things.

He doesn't think he's undateable by any means, not in the way Sunoo would proclaim every time he got broken up with, forever a dramatic bitch, but Sunghoon is horrifically out of his depth here. Not to sound too narcissistic, but Sunghoon thinks he's pretty attractive, in an objective sort of way. He's tall, pretty, and too oblivious to do anything too upsetting. However, the problem of Jongseong's detached feelings towards him is still at the forefront of his mind.

Sunghoon knows it's a bit early to go all in—and he isn't, really—and one date isn't exactly enough data to come to any accurate conclusion, but Sunghoon just wishes he had more to go on. It's not for a lack of trying, Jongseong just doesn't seem to want to fully open up, which, again, is his right, but Sunghoon has this irrational want to be someone worth opening up to.

Sunoo, during one of his many attempts to get Sunghoon some action, told him he was the whole package.

"I just think guys would like you," Sunoo said flippantly, and then back tracked so fast he dropped the sweater he was holding up to Sunghoon's body. "Girls. Girls would like you."

Sunghoon scrunched his eyebrows together. "I like boys," he said, bending down the pick the sweater up. "You didn't know that?" and while Sunoo was sputtering out some half-baked apology, "This color doesn't look good on me."

"Okay!" Sunoo said a bit too loud, clapping his hands together. He plucked the hanger out of Sunghoon's hands. "Let's try the blue, then."

Sunoo isn't the relationship guru he thinks he is, but he's had some action—more than Sunghoon—so unfortunately, Sunghoon has to come to terms with him being the one with the answers. He doesn't really trust Jongseong, despite the whole Jongseong-defending-him-from-Riki thing, and that kinda puts Sunghoon in a tough spot.

"He's a bit…" Sunoo said the night after Sunghoon and Jongseong first met, glasses pushed down his nose as he scrolled through Jongseong's Instagram, "I don't know. Are you sure you think he's good for you?"

"We had one conversation," Sunghoon stressed, flopping down onto his bed. He groaned, lifting his head to look at Sunoo's tiny, annoying face on his phone screen, "It's not like I proposed to him. I asked him out. Isn't that what you wanted from me?"

Sunoo's camera shook as he readjusted. He frowned when the quality leveled out. "Are you only doing this because of me?"

Sunghoon scoffed. "No." Yes. "I don't make my daily choices with you in mind." He does. "Jongseong's hot." That one's true.

Whatever response Sunoo had to that died along with Sunghoon's phone, because he—in his post meeting a cute boy euphoria—forgot that charging your phone is something you need to do sometimes.

Back in the present, Jongseong pads up to Sunghoon—still sitting pretty on the bed—and holds up two shirts. "Which one?"

Sunghoon takes them in. One is some barely opaque white shirt, the hanger showing through the fabric, and the other a sleeveless black one.

It feels like a test. Sunghoon points to the black shirt.

Jongseong grins. "Good choice."

Later that night, Jongseong drunkenly leans his head onto Sunghoon's shoulder and cutely says, "Thanks for coming tonight."

Sunghoon can't think of a reason why he wouldn't have wanted to. His earlier assessment of Jongseong's unconscious magnetism was correct, and watching him interact with all the sorority girls in his fun, bashful demeanor made Sunghoon's chest hurt.

"Why wouldn't I have?" Sunghoon asks, adjusting his arm so it wraps around the back of the couch.

Jongseong sits up abruptly, knocking Sunghoon's arm down to wrap around his shoulders. "People tell me I'm too much sometimes."

"I haven't noticed," Sunghoon says flippantly.

Jongseong curls into himself shyly. "Did you have fun yesterday?"

"Best first date ever."

Jongseong shoves him. "You can't say that! It's the only first date you've been on."

"I stand by my statement." Sunghoon laughs at the way Jongseong's ears redden, a deep maroon accented by the red lighting of the room. He lifts a hand up to tug at one of them, grinning when Jongseong whines.

"Quit it," he says, batting away Sunghoon's hand.

A part of Sunghoon want to grab Jongseong wrist with his free hand, holding him down so he can get another tug in. The other recognizes that that's some middle school level flirting, and that he's better than it.

Instead, he squeezes Jongseong's hand. "I have a lot of fun with you."

The alcohol is definitely affecting Sunghoon's brain in the way free alcohol always does, but he really means it. Parties with Heeseung, Jake, and Riki are usually all over the place, while ones with Sunoo are more subdued; parties with Jongseong land right in the middle of the spectrum. Sunghoon finds he likes parties with him the best.

"You're not as lame as I thought," Jongseong replies, adjusting their hands so he can rub circles onto Sunghoon's. "Still room for improvement, though," he says nonchalantly, not looking Sunghoon in the eye.

"Be careful," Sunghoon warns. "I love a challenge."

Jongseong looks up at him then, grinning.

"I have bad news, buddy," is the first thing Sunoo says when Sunghoon answers his call. He immediately hangs up on him.

Sunghoon lets it ring for a good thirty seconds when he calls again.

"That was fucking rude," Sunoo huffs, and then continues, "I'm not gonna be able to come back for Thanksgiving."

"Can you feel that?" Sunghoon asks. "That wet, slimy feeling on your body? That's me throwing tomatoes at you." He can practically feel the shiver that runs through Sunoo's body as he remembers that one time senior year when Sunghoon literally threw tomatoes at him.

"Something…came up," Sunoo responds cryptically to Sunghoon's unasked question.

Sunghoon frowns. "Something…" he repeats, signaling him to continue.

"I uh—well you see the thing is—"

Sunghoon rolls his eyes and cuts him off. "Are you abandoning me for dick? Is that what's happening?"

"Yes." Sunoo deflates.

"That's so," Sunghoon starts, quickly pulling his laptop closer to him and opening Spotify. "Like, incredibly rude. So rude I think you need to hear how offended I am in a language you'll understand."

Sunoo groans when he breaks out into song. "Traitor? Seriously?" He whines when Sunghoon doesn't stop. "Sunghoon, quit it. I want to talk about this guy."

"Why would I listen to you wax poetic about the guy you're ditching me for?" Sunghoon asks, turning down the volume.

"You can't get mad at me! Aren't you dating that guy?"

"Um." Sunghoon blanks. "I don't know? I think so."

Sunoo goes silent, a clear sign that he's judging Sunghoon so hard.

He backtracks. "I want to be."

"Ask him to be your boyfriend already," Sunoo says, seemingly forgetting all about his new boy toy. "Relationship limbo is so not fun."

"I don't think he wants that," Sunghoon replies. He picks at the skin around his thumb before scrunching his face, remembering how Sunoo hates when he does that. "We're just—"

"Not fucking." Sunoo cuts him off.

Sunghoon groans. "Don't go there! Don't fucking go there, I'll get mad."

"Mad because you're not getting dick?"

"Mad because you think my only fulfillment in life would be to get railed."

"That's not true and you know it," Sunoo says.

"I just—" Sunghoon starts, rubbing at the newly formed stress line in his forehead. "It's casual, okay? We're dating, I think."

Sunoo is silent for a second. "Define the relationship. Please," he says, suddenly very serious. "Don't be stuck not knowing. It'll ruin you."

"I'll think about it," Sunghoon says, ears ringing. "Tell me about your guy."

Sunghoon barely listens to Sunoo tell the tale of his clandestine hookups with his Works in Translation TA, mostly just because he uses a lot of words Sunghoon doesn't have the brain power to understand. Instead, he thinks about his future with Jongseong.

He makes a list. Sunghoon is quite fond of lists nowadays.

1. They've gone on five dates.
2. Sunghoon thinks he likes Jongseong more than Jongseong likes him.
3. Their friend groups have become linked.

For the first one, it's pretty self explanatory. Sunghoon has taken Jongseong on five dates—and he's not even counting the party, because Jongseong invited him to that one—ranging from dinner to walking in the park, and as much as Sunghoon enjoyed them, he still can't get a read on Jongseong.

Which brings us to the second point. It's not obvious, and could just as well be a manifestation of Sunghoon's repressed feelings of insecurity, but Jongseong always seems to be holding back somehow. Sometimes when Sunghoon asks him things it feels like Jongseong tailors his answers in some way, taking a moment longer to think before speaking. Which—again, could be his insecurities talking—but still, Sunghoon is a little bit worried. He doesn't expect his first time dipping his toe into dating to end in marriage or anything, but he wishes he wasn't left wondering about things at the end of the day.

The third, and most promising point, is that ever since Riki and Jungwon hunkered down on their 'will they, won't they' thing, Sunghoon has seen a lot of Jongseong in casual social settings. He'll sit with them in the library while they all ignore Riki and Jungwon playing footsie under the table, sending little looks of annoyance Sunghoon's way, causing him to feel like there's a never ending hole in the bottom of his stomach.

"Sunghoon," Sunoo stresses, breaking Sunghoon out of his head.

When he pulls his phone away from his ear Sunghoon realizes he lost fifteen minutes in his head.

"Yeah?" He asks, turning around slowly to lay on his stomach. He resists the urge to shove his face in his pillow.

"Figure your shit out," Sunoo responds plainly, before hanging up the phone.

Last summer, when Sunghoon was pulling twelve hour days to keep his dad happy, and Sunoo was doing irreversible damage to his sense of self by dating Riki, Jongseong was doing an internship at their local public library.

When asked about why he picked that one out of his half a dozen offers, he shrugged and said: "Public libraries are the heart of America. They need more attention than any publishing company. I felt like I'd do more good there."

Jongseong has morals, strong ones—the type he'd never abandon. He cares about the little things not many would look for. Jongseong defends boys he barely knows from boys he barely knows, because it's the right thing to do. Strong sense of justice and right and wrong.

"You should go to law school," Sunghoon tells him one day. They're in Jongseong's dorm room, about as sprawled out as two tall boys could be on a twin XL. Jongseong's wearing a thin white tank top in an attempt to stave off overheating due to Residential Life finally turning on the heat. Sunghoon resists the urge to trace shapes into his back, and then realizes that wouldn't exactly be unwelcomed, so he reaches a hand over to touch the small of his back.

Jongseong hums at the contact. "Why?" He asks, laughing quietly. He turns to look at Sunghoon, eyes bright. "Because I'm good at arguing?"

"You care," Sunghoon replies simply, pointer finger moving in the shape of a star.

Jongseong tilts his head. "Is that your only reason?"

Sunghoon slides his hand up, settling between his shoulder blades. He's on his side while Jongseong lays on his stomach, one arm propping up his head. He bites his lip. "Not really. It's the only one that matters, though."

There's a moment where Sunghoon can see that Jongseong wants to push back, always searching for new information to learn from. His eyebrows knit together and his eyes narrow. Sunghoon waits for him to fight, to demand an honest answer, one he could quantify in a way that makes sense to Jongseong, and is completely lost on Sunghoon, but he doesn't.

Instead, Jongseong stops holding himself up and flops onto the bed. His hair fans over the pillow beautifully, a deep brown a few shades lighter than his natural color. The regrowth is especially easy to see in the afternoon sun. Sunghoon brings his hand up to brush it out of his face, tucking his bangs behind his ear as best he can.

"What are you doing tonight?" Jongseong asks coyly, looking up at Sunghoon through his eyelashes.

He's beautiful; there's really no doubt about it. Sunghoon can barely look at him for longer than three seconds, he's that beautiful. It's new—the way Jongseong makes Sunghoon feel; something like time never ends when Sunghoon is with him. Unique and anxiety inducing, but not so much as to cause Sunghoon to want to jump ship.

Sunghoon wants to stay here, in his little bubble with Jongseong, simmering in all the happiness that comes with it.

"Whatever you want me to do," Sunghoon replies earnestly. Jongseong giggles, shoving him lightly. "Hey! I mean that. I'll do anything you ask."

"Anything?" Jongseong levels him with a look, one perfectly shaped eyebrow arched playfully.

Sunghoon flushes. "Within reason."

"Is getting dinner with me 'within reason'?"

"Of course."

Jongseong sighs heavily, pushing up until he's upright, stretching his arms above his head. Sunghoon is still very much a boy—one that yearns so deeply at that—so he doesn't even attempt to stop himself from staring. Jongseong's shirt rides up ever so slightly, tan skin on display.

They've started going to the gym together, and even if they don't work out as a couple, Sunghoon's decided he'll fight tooth and nail to keep him as a gym buddy.

"You're staring," Jongsong points out for no reason other than to address the obvious.

Sunghoon slides a hand over the exposed skin, grinning when Jongseong falter, breath stuttering. "Who wouldn't?"

It's then that Jongseong responds—and by his reaction, with no forethought—with an endearingly honest. "I really only care about you."

And because Sunghoon shies away from vulnerability, he coos and mocks. "Ah, I'm special, aren't I?"

"Yeah," Jongseong responds over Sunghoon's sickly sweet noises, not moving away when Sunghoon moves to pinch his cheek like one would a small child. "You are."

The moment dies down, but Sunghoon still feels electricity buzzing under his skin, and instead of burdening Jongseong with that, he jumps up from the bed and claps his hands together.

"Dinner?" He asks, looking down at Jongseong, reclined back, weight resting on his elbows.

Something blooms in Sunghoon's chest as he stares down at Jongseong staring up at him, pretty mouth set in a soft smile. It nestles right next to every other feeling that consumes Sunghoon when he's around Jongseong—right at home.

"You pick," Jongseong says lightly, reaching a hand out towards Sunghoon. He pulls Jongseong up, catching him in his arms when he missteps and almost falls back down onto the bed.

They're laughing as they leave the room, pulling each other but not harshly, hands finding home on any part of the other they can touch. Jongseong almost topples into next door neighbor and it only makes them laugh harder. Sunghoon laughs a lot when he's with Jongseong.

Sunghoon must have done something to upset Jeongin, because when he leads Jongseong to his car he's met with a slip of paper tucked under his windshield wipers.

"Damn," he says, picking it up to inspect it. Sunghoon internally hopes for it to read WARNING in the blocky letters the tickets are written in, but instead there's a dark $25 written next to the price.

"You get one warning a semester," Jongseong says after he climbs into the passenger seat. "Give it here." He pulls it from between Sunghoon's fingers, and Sunghoon doesn't have a chance to begin to explain his history with campus police when he frowns and says, "Oh, it's a ticket."

Sunghoon can't help but laugh at the put out look on his face. "It's alright. Heeseung owes me money anyways."

"You sure?" Jongseong asks, turning to look at him.

It's dark out in the way only six in the evening in November can be. The street lights are amber, bouncing off Jongseong's skin, coloring him in warmth, making Sunghoon's mouth dry up. He's beautiful. Sunghoon's said it so many times in his head at this point, but never out loud. It feels like too much almost.

Jongseong reaches over to pinch his thigh. "What are you staring at?"

"You," Sunghoon answers truthfully, delighting in the way Jongseong's cheeks heat up. And to add fuel to the fire he finally tacks on, "You're beautiful."

"What?" Jongseong splutters, ears joining his cheeks in darkening with a deep maroon. He reaches a hand up to tug at his earlobe. "Out of the blue?"

Sunghoon smiles at him, unable to look away from his wide, surprised eyes. "Just thought you should know."

He can see the way Jongseong's brain runs at a mile a minute trying to come up with a response. He can also see when Jongseong can't find anything worthy, sinking back into the passenger seat, eyes going soft. It brings Sunghoon a delicious amount of joy whenever he makes Jongseong speechless. Having that sort of effect on someone who always has something to say is addictive.

"Whatever," Jay says, crossing his arms over his chest. There's an adorable pout on his lips and for the first time since this thing between them started Sunghoon almost can't hold himself back from kissing him. "I'm not buying dinner just because you complimented me."

Sunghoon grins. "Wasn't planning on it." He puts the car in drive and checks the mirrors before pulling out of his parking spot, making extra sure to not let the way Jongseong's face lights up distract him from getting them to dinner safely.

After dinner, when Sunghoon barely has the car in park after he pulled back into the same parking spot they left from, Jongseong leans over and kisses him square on the mouth.

"Oh," Sunghoon says when he pulls away not even three seconds later. "Cool."

"Oh," Jongseong repeats, but Sunghoon can tell from the redness of his ears he's giddy with the force of his action. "Is that all?"

After Sunghoon struggles with all the syllables in the alphabet, looking for a response, Jongseong grins. "See you later."

Sunghoon watches as he goes, one hand touching his lips, and the other resting on the gear shift.

The majority of the next day is spent thinking about the feeling of Jongseong's lips pressed to his own. It's a bit embarrassing when you consider the fact that it only lasted half a minute, but it's about as much action as Sunghoon's ever gotten in his life, and it was with someone as out of his league as Jongseong is, so he's on top of the world right now. Sunoo had sent him three puking emojis when Sunghoon told him, but he's also sleeping with three different guys right now on a rotating schedule, so he really can't put Sunghoon down too much.

Sunghoon texts Jongseong after dinner, some entirely too honest and just a little bit humiliating text about how much he misses him, and Jongseong responds with a heart and i miss you too. It goes straight to Sunghoon's heart like everything Jongseong does, but this particular moment makes Sunghoon double over, groaning.

"Dude?" Jake asks, tucked into his bed. He has an eight am in the morning that he's only gone to twice the entire semester. It's hit or miss on whether or not he's actually going to wake up for it.

"Holy fuck," Sunghoon says, gripping at his stomach, "I like him so much."

Jake makes a noise in the back of his throat. "Are you dying?"

"I feel like it," Sunghoon responds, flopping onto his side to look at Jake, who's already staring at him in concern. "I haven't seen him all day, and I feel like my world in ending."

The way Jake is staring at him, narrowed eyes and mouth set in a line, makes Sunghoon's entire body itch. "Go to him," He says eventually, adjusting his blankets so they're not obscuring Sunghoon from his line of sight. "He should still be awake."

"And do what?" Sunghoon asks miserably. "Tell him all about the control he has over me?"

"Or you could just ask him how his day was."

Sunghoon sucks his lower lip into his mouth. "We've been talking all day. I already know how it was."

Jake curses under his breath. "Then I don't know, cuddle him, or something. Your energy is crazy right now. I can't handle it."

Sunghoon flicks him off, but jumps down from his bed all the same. Jake cheers him on as he collects his things; slippers, his ID card, and a fuzzy dark blue cardigan Sunoo bought him last year, and dramatically bows to him before slipping out the door.

The door to the third bathroom in Jongseong's quadrant is unlocked when Sunghoon tries the handle, so he pushes forward and walks in. Jongseong looks up at him through the mirror, a look of shock on his face.

"What the fuck?" He's on step three of his twelve-step nighttime routine, fingers rubbing gentle circles over his face, the foamy face wash he uses leaking down onto his forearms.

If it wasn't filled with various chemicals, Sunghoon thinks he might have licked it all up.

"I tried three other doors before this one," he says instead of a proper explanation. "The girl in the room on the corner cussed me out."

"That's what you get for breaking into occupied bathrooms," Jongseong replies, hands frozen on his cheeks. If he dropped his mouth open he'd look like that one painting Riki was obsessed with for the entirety of October. As it stands, he just looks adorable.

"That's what she gets for not locking the door," Sunghoon responds with a huff.

Jongseong stares at him for a moment before going back to the task at hand. He bends down to splash water on his face and Sunghoon, really, really tries to not stare at his ass.

"Perv," Jongseong says when he rights himself.

Busted. "What are you doing tonight?" Sunghoon changes the topic, inconspicuously reaching a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. He's not embarrassed, per se, but a normal person would be, and he doesn't want to scare Jongseong off, so he mimes the actions of someone who is.

"You're literally watching me wash my face." Jongseong deadpans. "I'm going to bed."

"Oh," Sunghoon says, kicking at the floor. "I wanted to see if you maybe wanted to, but don't feel pressured because I'm here, it's no big deal if you—"

"Spit it out." Jongseong cuts him off. Sunghoon smiles shyly. "Do you wanna watch a movie?"

"Really?" Jongseong asks. The water drips into his eyes and it takes everything in Sunghoon not to race forward to wipe it off for him. He reaches for the towel next to him and pats his face dry. "Why?"

"I have to watch it for class…tomorrow," Sunghoon replies, "and I didn't want to do it alone."

Jongseong pauses for a moment, thinking. "Do you ever do any type of skincare?"

"I used to." What he means is Sunoo forced him to. "Don't really remember to do it nowadays."

"C'mere." Jongseong motions for him to come closer, handing him a bottle from the counter when he does. "Wash your face, watch me finish what I have to do, and then we'll watch your movie."

Sunghoon stares at him dumbfoundedly. "Seriously?"

Jongseong hums. "Yup," he says, backing away from the sink. Sunghoon watches his eyeline dip down, a smirk on his face. "Now get to work."

Sunghoon wakes up in Jongseong's bed the next morning, a bright pink sticky note on the bed post informing him that Jongseong is in class, but he'd be in the union around noon if you want to get lunch <3. He shoves his face into Jongseong's pillow to scream, but it smells too much like him, so he ends up just sniffing the thing like a horny dog for ten minutes while his brain comes back online.

He runs into Heeseung on his way to the union, which after the whole channeling his inner degenerate thing he realized it was fifteen to noon and if he wanted to see Jongseong at all today this was going to be his only chance.

(Sunghoon ended up adding Jongseong's calender to his Google Calender, delighting in knowing when he's in class or when he's just straight up ignoring Sunghoon for no reason, because Jongseong plans his life to the minute like a freak. Sunghoon's freak. Kind of. Hopefully. Eventually?)

"Good night?" Heeseung asks, a little unnecessarily, taking in Sunghoon's general appearance; ie. looking him up and down in disgust.

"The best." Sunghoon smiles toothily at him, not bothering to cut in over Heeseung's whooping sounds to inform him it wasn't that kind of night, because 1. That's his business and his business only and 2. It's a little bit embarrassing.

Heeseung claps him on the shoulder when he calms down. "That's my boy, God—" he cuts himself off to pretend wipe away a tear, "They grow up so fast."

They walk the rest of the way to the union together, Heeseung uncharacteristically talking Sunghoon's ear off the entire time, some story about Riki that Sunghoon doesn't get fully involved in. He hasn't been spending the most time with them recently, and the Heeseung 18.0 in front of him is kind of making him feel bad about it.

"Look," Sunghoon cuts Heeseung's story about Riki doing something that's probably not ground breaking in the slightest and doesn't really require telling, but it's Heeseung so of course he's telling it, "I have to meet Jongseong like, right now, but I'll text you later and we'll figure out dinner or something."

Heeseung sends Sunghoon a weird look as he makes his way up the steps, one that he'd probably attempt to classify if it weren't for the hot boy .1 miles away from him. "Bring the boy," he says, raising his voice to make up for the new distance between them. "He'll have fun."

No he won't. "I doubt that," Sunghoon replies, laughing at the thought. "But yeah, I will."

Heeseung salutes him before spinning on his heel and disappearing into the crowd.

A week before the end of the semester Jake comes to him with a proposal. Well, more like a statement, and then Sunghoon turned it into a Thing. Sunghoon is quite used to turning things into Things—he has his entire friendship with Sunoo to attest to that, but this Thing in particular is a little…unhinged, as Sunoo would say.

"I want brownies," he says miserably.

Jake is knee deep in studying for his calculus final. Literally. He has two different textbooks, his laptop, four notebooks—half graphed, half lined—a calculator, and a joint balanced delicately on his desk, posing as his reward for getting through his review sheet, all surrounding him. He is absolutely wading through the inevitability of him failing, and he's doing it with a snapback backwards on his head, and determination written on his face.

Sunghoon is not faring any better. What the fuck even is Organic Chemistry and why is he taking it? He thought he was getting an easy degree. "We can make brownies tonight," he says offhandedly, not looking up from his Quizlet.

Jake slams his head on the side of his desk, groaning. "I want weed brownies."

"Is that really a hard thing to accomplish?" Sunghoon asks, genuine with his question. He is not the weed connoisseur Jake is.

"Sunghoon. Babe. Bestie."

Sunghoon scrunches his face in disgust. "Don't call me babe."

"My love." Jake tries again. "Making weed brownies is so complicated. And we don't have the equipment."

Because, again, Sunghoon really has no idea what Jake is really asking for, he asks, "What would we need?"

"Ghee, something to decarb the weed with, strainers and shit," Jake starts listing, "the works," he finishes, shrugging.

And because Sunghoon is so, so lost, but has lived with Jake long enough to know the guy really doesn't judge anybody for their dumb questions, because he's also dumb as rocks: "How do you decarb weed?"

"Put in in an oven for an obscene amount of time," Jake says, then sucks his teeth. "But we can't do that in the communal kitchen."

"Would Heeseung let us use his place?" Sunghoon offers. Jake shakes his head. "Damn." He zones out for a moment, trying to find a solution. "My mom has an Instant Pot, wouldn't that work?"

Jake leans back, his left hand barely missing squashing the bag of chips Sunghoon laid out for himself hours ago. "Shit. Maybe," he says, voice soft.

"I can borrow it," Sunghoon replies, already reaching for his phone. The moral dilemma of asking his mother to use her stuff to make weed butter in order to assure his roommates happiness doesn't affect Sunghoon at all, but it might later at some holiday when he sees some random side dish being served out of it.

Good thing thats Future Sunghoon's problem.

Jake smiles for the first time since they've sat down to study, all teeth. "Sounds like a plan."

To not bore anyone with the minute details of how exactly one turns weed into weed butter, Sunghoon skips over the first ten hours of the process in his head; because he's kind, and not because it's only Jake who knows what they're doing.

Jongseong knocks on their door ten minutes into the final stretch, after Jake's perfectly measured all the ingredients and dumped them into the cheap plastic bowl Sunghoon bought from Dollar Tree after his class. Sunghoon lets him in with a smile on his face, determinedly ignoring the pang in his chest when Jongseong walks past him without saying hello.

“It smells like weed in the hallway, you guys know that right?” Jongseong asks flippantly, settling down on the floor next to Sunghoon. He crosses his legs, causing the rips in his jeans to stretch out over his thighs, making Sunghoon's mouth go dry.

“I watched the girl that lives next to us snort a line of coke in the bathroom at Chuck's last weekend," Jake says, reaching behind him for their singular spatula. "Nobody is snitching on us.”

Jongseong stares at him. “What were you doing in the girls bathroom?

"Doing coke," Jake says proudly. "Obviously."

Jongseong's face scrunches in disgust, and then he raises a brow at Sunghoon.

Sunghoon raises his hands in front of him. "Not me, I'm a good boy."

Jongseong smiles at that, with too much teeth, but Sunghoon wants them on his body so he's not complaining.

"What are you guys even doing?"

“Making weed brownies," Jake informs him a little sassily, because really, it should be obvious.

"Yeah. Okay," Jongseong replies sarcastically. "Because that makes sense."

Sunghoon looks up at him. "Do you want some?"

"Of course I do," Jongseong says.

"Then stop complaining." Sunghoon glances over at Jake. He looks proud. Sunghoon fist bumps him.

Jongseong rolls his eyes. "Is that a microwaveable brownie?"

"Yup," Jake says, vigorously mixing the mixture. "I think if we split it three ways we'll be fine." Which, he's most likely correct. The brownie is a little bit bigger than a CD, and even though they measured everything but how much weed they put into the butter, Sunghoon surmises that little can go wrong. Is he correct in that guess? Who knows, he's not an expert.

"How many milligrams will be in it?" Jongseong asks, side eyeing Jake.

"No clue," Jake replies.

"You guys are insane," Jongseong says, voice full of wonder despite the rudeness of his words. He sticks a figure in the batter and then sucks it clean.

Later, Jongseong slumps into Sunghoon's side. His body heat is almost too much for Sunghoon to bear, but he'd rather die than push him away.

Jongseong's lips are just shy of Sunghoon's neck when he asks, "Were you like this before you met Jake?"

Before Sunghoon met Jake, he spent all of his time waiting for Sunoo to have enough free time to talk to him, but he doesn't think that's what Jongseong means.

"No," Sunghoon says, tilting his head to knock against Jongseong's. "I was the lame friend."

"So what you're saying is that Jake is a bad influence," Jongseong whispers.

Jake is somewhere off on his side of the room, completely removed from Sunghoon's line of sight. Not that he wants to see him, there are obviously more important things to be dealt with right now, like grabbing onto Jongseong and never letting go.

Sunghoon shrugs, because he's probably right, but also doesn't want to say it out loud.

"I wish I had met lame Sunghoon," Jongseong replies wistfully, making Sunghoon's stomach drop.

"Really?" Sunghoon asks, his heart in his throat.

Jongseong nods. "I think he would've been a lot of fun." He's staring off towards the wall where Sunghoon hung up all his old pictures of his highschool friends a month after move in because Sunoo said the vibes in that dorm room are rancid I can feel them all the way over here and hang up pictures of ME because I never bring bad vibes.

"Really?" Sunghoon repeats.

Jongseong turns to look at him, eyes widening when he sees whatever look is on Sunghoon's face. "Don't go changing who you are just because I said something while high," Jongseong says, jabbing a finger into Sunghoon's side.

"Do you—" Sunghoon's mouth is so, so dry, and he's high enough to let his shoddily repressed insecurities bubbly to the surface. "Would you have actually liked me if we met then?"

"Why do you say that like I don't like you now?" Jongseong asks, voice soft. He reaches a hand up to card through Sunghoon's hair.

"Because you don't." Sunghoon is well aware he sounds like a petulant child that hasn't gotten his way, but there's enough in his system for him to be able to send Jongseong a haha sorry about last night I was so stoned text tomorrow and hopefully have him brush past everything that's coming out of his mouth tonight without his permission.

Jongseong frowns. "That's not true."

"Is it not?"

"No," Jongseong replies, voice firm. His eyebrows are knitted together and he's not looking Sunghoon in the eye anymore.

Sunghoon starts to get nervous. "Oh. I just thought because—"

"I thought you didn't think," Jongseong cuts him off in his rebuttal.

Sunghoon smiles dopily. "I think so much. All of the time."

Jongseong stares. "Oh."

And because he has no sense of self preservation, Sunghoon puts all his cards on the table.

"Nowadays all I think about is you."

Jongseong shifts back, shoving an arm under himself to prop his head up, getting a good look at Sunghoon's miserable state. "I didn't think you liked me that much," he says in that tone he used a lot when they first started seeing each other, like he's holding back from something.

Sunghoon doesn't know what exactly he's holding back, and he also doesn't know what exactly Jongseong means by denying Sunghoon's vague accusation that he doesn't like him, but what he does know is this:

"We're dating," Sunghoon says, the words punched out of him, voice flat. It's technically true, even if they haven't put a label on it, he just hasn't had the courage to really ask. Mega-stoned in his dorm room is apparently the perfect time to.

"Are we?" Jongseong looks genuinely shocked when Sunghoon forces himself to look at him.

"We go on dates?" Sunghoon replies defensively."I take you out all the time. I spend more time in your dorm room than mine."

Jongseong shifts. "I just thought, like, that you—" He cuts himself off to bury his head in his hands, groaning. "Holy shit."

"Hey,". Sunghoon says, moving closer to him. He grabs at Jongseong's wrists. "I'm in this for the long run. This isn't casual." He tries to tug his hands away but Jongseong doesn't give.

Jongseong mumbles something.

"I can't hear you." Sunghoon pouts.

He emerges from his hands with glossy eyes. "You actually like me?"

"I like you so much," Sunghoon says, and the admission isn't as scary as he thought it would be.

It's then that Jongseong laughs, full bodied, throwing himself into Sunghoon's chest. He wraps his arms around him, clutching him tighter to himself. Sunghoon's only a little bit confused by the change in energy.

Jake, despite having no idea what's going on—or even an idea of where he is, judging by the way he looks right now—starts to laugh with him.

"I got so used to everyone telling me I'm too much that I kept my distance from you when I didn't even need to," Jongseong says quietly into his chest.

And it's then that Sunghoon realizes he forget to keep something incredibly important in mind: It's impossible for anyone to be 100% self assured.

Of course Jongseong has insecurities of his own, ones like Sunghoon's that would keep him up late at night, worrying about life and their relationship and everything. And of course Sunoo was right when he said talking would bring him the peace of mind he needs.

"Hey, if the past few months is even half of what you'd usually give, it was more than enough for me." Sunghoon points out, head spinning. "But if you want to give more, I'm not complaining."

Jongseong hums, a soft smile on his face, and wraps a hand around the wrist he wrote his number on months ago. "You wanna go out with me tomorrow?"

"Of course," Sunghoon replies immediately.

"I didn't even tell you what I want to do," Jongseong says, coyly tilting his head to the side.

Sunghoon's mouth goes dry. Impossibly so. Jongseong just has that effect on him.

"Doesn't matter," Sunghoon says, "if it's with you, it's gonna be fun."

Jongseong's silent for a moment, eyes searching all over Sunghoon's face. He must come back with what he wanted, because he settles down against Sunghoon's chest and says, "I'm gonna ask you to be my boyfriend."

"Cool," Sunghoon says, smiling wide.

So. Sunghoon does the DTR conversation all wrong, but still gets the outcome he wants. How nice.

December has mostly been spent pulling out his hair while he tries to study for his finals, and sending Jongseong stupid TikTok's Sunghoon's not even sure he watches. But that's okay. Because they're boyfriends now—and boyfriends always get a pass.

Twenty minutes after his final exam of the semester he knocks on Jongseong's door, backpack slung haphazardly over his shoulder, and brain so full he thinks he might explode.

"Oh, hello there." Jongseong answers the door with a peck on Sunghoon's cheek, the minimal contact being enough to sustain Sunghoon for at least twenty more minutes.

Sunghoon smiles as he shuts the door softly behind him. "Hey. Do you have any more finals?"

"One more," Jongseong says, directing his attention back to what he was doing before Sunghoon got here. He shoves a textbook in his bag. "I'm actually on my way there now."

"Can I nap here while you're gone?" Sunghoon asks. He sets down his bag, and then sneaks behind Jongseong to wrap him in his arms. "I feel like I'm dying."

Jongseong spins around. "Sure," he says, placing his hands over Sunghoon's shoulder's. He knocks their foreheads together. "Can we do dinner tonight?"

"Where do you want to go?" Sunghoon mumbles against his lips, and then presses forward to fully kiss him, because he can.

Jongseong's smiling when he pulls away. "Surprise me."

"Okay." One more kiss, because, again, he can. "Good luck."

"I'll see you later," Jongseong says, pulling open the door.

And he will, because Jongseong is his boyfriend, and Sunghoon fucking won at college.

(Jongseong turns to Sunghoon after five minutes of being in Heeseung's apartment and says: "The vibes in here are rancid."

Riki cackles and dramatically bows to him, hands out, offering him a joint. "Thank you."

"You are a toddler," he says in disgust, grabbing the joint, "and codependent on two boys that are a semester away from dropping out—" he cuts himself off from his lecture, frowning. "Do you have a lighter?"

Jake drops one into his open palm.

"Hm," Jongseong says, flicking it on. "Nevermind. Thank you."

Riki drops onto the couch next to him, grabbing the joint out of Jongseong's fingers after he takes a hit. "What were you saying about me?"

"Nothing," Jongseong says, waving his hand in the air. "We'll get back to that later."

Heeseung snaps his fingers at that, gasping. "That's where I know you from! PSYCH 355."

"What's PSYCH 355," Sunghoon asks, leaning his head on Jongseong's shoulder.

"Drugs and behavior," Jongseong replies, turning to look at Heeseung. "No wonder you're the way you are. You dropped the class three weeks in."

Heeseung shrugs. "I changed my major."

And well, Sunghoon could open that can of worms, or he could sink into Jongseong's side and forget all about Heeseung's potential personality disorder.

He chooses the latter, because he's just a humble health and performance major, and he's planning on having Jongseong and Sunoo tag team Heeseung's mental problems when Sunoo arrives next week.)