Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was quiet. Peaceful. And yet it was eerie.

The porch of their dorm hall has a big set of double doors to invite its students inside but it’s kind of gloomy at night. It’s a little chillier and darker, and no friendly faces are crossing the threshold.

Izuku and Shoto sat on the ledge together, Shoto sitting straight up and Izuku kicking his legs over the side, heels of his sneakers bouncing off the brick. “It can get lonely at night,” Shoto muttered to break the tension.

They both were in loose t-shirts and sweatpants, having come down to the landing in the middle of the night. “I get it,” Izuku replied, focusing on the swinging of his legs, “the nightmares, anyway. I know mine aren’t the same as yours but I do get them. A lot.”

“I am… used to the isolation,” Shoto continued, “I had to try and soothe myself once Fuyumi and Natsuo went off to school.”

Izuku gently rested his head on Shoto’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, “You don’t have to worry about that now. You got plenty of people around now who want to help you.”

Shoto didn’t flinch when he felt the soft waves of Izuku’s hair and the gentle pressure of his head. He let the silence linger to savor the physical affection. “Midoriya,” he spoke again after some time, “If you don’t mind me asking… what… what do you dream about? On nights like these.”

“Are you asking what my nightmares are about?” Izuku asked, gazing toward the horizon line.

“Yes… but you don’t have to answer.”

“No… it’s okay. I trust you,” Izuku leaned more into Shoto… he was comforting in his own way, “I… I’m in combat a lot. Facing off against a villain I’ve faced before… but the missions and battles don’t play out the way they did in the past.”

Shoto looked down at the sweet boy beside him. Knowing they both suffer from nightmares was hard enough. Shoto let Izuku continue, “It’s a lot of ‘what if’ scenarios. What would happen if someone got injured, or I lost control of my quirk… stuff like that.”

Shoto nodded in understanding, and Izuku managed a smile when he felt Shoto’s neck rub against his hair. Izuku continued, “And my thoughts in those dreams sometimes are so silly,” he exhaled a weak chuckle, “like ‘I can’t die; I haven’t kissed anyone yet’.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Shoto replied, “I haven’t… done that before either.”

Izuku held his breath. Being this close to Shoto and talking about kissing was making him flustered, but he couldn’t let that show. He pursed his lips in anticipation of… something… but didn’t know what. “Is it really,” Shoto paused, “Is it really that big of a deal? A first kiss?”

Izuku could finally exhale. “Everyone acts like it is… Ashido always gets so giddy when she hears about people in our class k-kissing.”

This gave Shoto an idea. It was a crazy idea that could backfire in his face, but it was an idea. It’s an idea that could help him know where Izuku stands. “I never understood why it’s so important… would you—“ Shoto suddenly felt a lump in his throat, and Izuku noticed Shoto’s abrupt pause, moving to look up at him, “— would you maybe—?”

“Shoto,” Izuku tried to read Shoto’s face, even though he was in profile, “Are you asking—?”

“I think we should kiss to get it out of the way. So any future k-kissing doesn’t have this pressure.”

It’s what Izuku thought Shoto was thinking. And now he’s caught between a rock and a hard place. Does Shoto just see him as someone to mark off an item on a list? Is that why he asked? Izuku’s been in awe of Shoto for a long time now and while yes, he wants to kiss him, he was worried if he did this now, it wouldn’t be special, or worse: it wouldn’t mean anything to Shoto.

“Midoriya?” Izuku shook his head, realizing he was too absorbed in his thoughts, “Are you okay? You— you don’t have to if you don’t want to—“

Izuku’s eyes were shut tight and his hands were closed fists as his words poured out of his mouth faster than his brain could process them, “— I really want to kiss you right now!”

Izuku smacked his hands to cover his face, embarrassed and not wanting to see Shoto’s reaction.

Shoto slowly turned to Izuku, blinking to attempt to piece together what he had just heard. The silence was deafening.

Izuku’s eyes shut tighter and his throat was closing as he held back tears. Silence is almost worse than rejection. He couldn’t take it. He mumbled into his hands, “I would love to kiss you, actually,” to make sure Shoto didn’t misinterpret, now that Izuku’s feelings are out in the open.

“So you— you want to do this?” Shoto asked, feeling a new kind of heat rise to his face.

Izuku peeked through his fingers, hoping the tears weren’t too obvious and nodded in confirmation.

“So how… how do we start?” Shoto asked, nervous and genuinely wondering, pursing his lips and gazing back toward the horizon.

Izuku sniffled and wiped his eyes as he took a deep breath. “Um… in movies and stuff,” he sniffled again. He’s beating himself up inside for crying right before he has his first kiss, “They just like, close their eyes and lean in?”

When Shoto heard sniffling, he turned back to Izuku and was taken aback. “Midoriya?” He moved closer and put his hands to Izuku’s face. He used his thumbs to brush the tears off of Izuku’s face, “Am I upsetting you?”

Izuku hoped Shoto didn’t feel how hot his face suddenly became, “No, I was j—just worried.”

“What were you worried about? Can I help?”

Izuku could feel Shoto leaning closer. And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t leaning in, too. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath once more, hoping it would give him confidence. “Y—you can help by kissing me.”

“Oh—“ Izuku couldn’t help but smile when he saw that his comment made Shoto flustered, “We just… close our eyes and lean in?”

“Mhm…” Izuku’s heart was racing and he could feel his leg bouncing with anxiety.

“Um… maybe on the count of three?” Shoto quietly suggested, feeling just as nervous.

“Yeah, okay,” Izuku nodded in agreement, putting one of his hands on Shoto’s.

They both closed their eyes and slowly counted down to three together. In the commotion of feelings, Izuku ended up using Shoto’s hand as leverage to pull himself to Shoto’s lips.

At first, it was two faces smooshed together, but as they settled, they truly felt each other, and the tension dissipated. They hummed in simultaneous relief and pleasure as their lips gently pressed tender and soft kisses. Izuku’s free hand found Shoto’s neck and his fingers lazily brushed the hair at the nape of Shoto’s neck. This wasn’t just to get the pressure of a First Kiss off their minds anymore. That was never really a priority for the two of them.

After a few moments, their lips parted, but their foreheads pressed together as they both grinned, wanting to live in the moment for as long as they could.

This time, it was Shoto who broke the silence, “I… really like kissing you,” he said, breathily.

“I liked it, too,” Izuku giggled.

They leaned in once more to keep kissing, since they both liked it so much, and they felt warmth and light overcome them on what was otherwise a dark and dreary night.

Chapter Text

Shoto woke up with a start. His room was dark and he couldn’t help but shiver, recoiling from the nightmare he was just in. “Dammit,” he muttered under his breath, clutching his arms.

He shifted in his bed, moving to grab his phone on the bedside table to check the time. 3:00 AM. Shoto sighed, frustrated. Far too early.

He unlocked the phone and swiped through the apps, looking for something to do to take up his time while he tried to drift back to sleep.

Shoto let out a small chuckle when he saw that Izuku posted something a few hours ago. It’s a selfie of him and Mei Hatsune where he’s giving a thumbs up at the camera. He’s wearing his hero suit’s gloves and the caption read “If you need a secret weapon at UA, go to @hatsune.babies for your upgrades and repairs! She’s amazing!”

It’s been a few days since they kissed… life’s gone on as normal since then… it wasn’t life-changing by any degree like Shoto had assumed it would be. The boys continued with their studies and training; spending lunches together with Iida, Ochako, and Tsu; giving friendly glances at one another when they passed in hallways. The kissing itself felt magical and unreal to Shoto, but beyond that, Shoto’s been hesitant to do anything beyond what was perceived as ‘normal’ for the two of them.

…

Waking up at 3:00 AM isn’t normal. Nightmares shouldn’t be part of someone’s daily routine. And yet… Shoto remembered Izuku mentioning the nightmares, too. He scrolled through his phone’s contacts and found Izuku Midoriya, and he stared at the name and phone number on the screen.

The night they kissed, Shoto and Izuku ran into each other in the bathroom, both of them hoping that a drink of water would settle their minds after such scary dreams. But this time is different. They aren’t just running into each other by happenstance. Shoto is considering requesting this boy he likes to go out of his way to help him, and to Shoto, that’s a big ask.

His thumb hovered over the ‘call’ button. “Does Midoriya even keep his phone on at night?” Shoto whispered in the dark, “Would he wake up to answer, or would he sleep through the call?”

Or even worse… would Izuku get mad at Shoto for waking him up? Would he berate Shoto for interrupting his rest which was so important to have between missions? Shoto shuddered thinking about getting yelled at— but then shut his eyes and took a breath. He isn’t at home. No one is going to treat him like that here— not even Bakugo, and especially not Izuku.

Shoto took a deep breath once more and pressed ‘call’.

The phone rang for a bit.

But Izuku answered. “Shoto? Is everything okay?”

“Um… hi,” was all Shoto managed to say.

“Hi…?” Izuku wasn’t expecting a response that casual.

“Um…” Shoto was kicking himself for not planning what he would say, “Do you remember… the other night?”

“When we—?”

“Both woke up from nightmares, yes.”

“Oh. Yeah that is why we were—“

“I had another one.”

“Another nightmare?”

“Yes.”

“Did you want to like,” Izuku replied with a yawn, “Go outside again?”

“Could you,” Shoto paused, then closed his eyes, “Could you maybe come to my room?”

“I’ll be over in five minutes!”

And Izuku is nothing if not punctual, Shoto realized, when, exactly five minutes later, there was a knock on his dorm door.

Shoto let Izuku inside and Izuku was quick to make himself at home in his oversized t-shirt and plaid pajama pants, sitting on Shoto’s mattress cross-legged, tapping on the blanket beside him, inviting Shoto to join him.

Shoto gingerly sat beside Izuku, sitting on his knees with a stick-straight posture. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Izuku asked, “When I was little, my mom told me if I talked about the bad dream, I wouldn’t have it again.”

“Hm,” Shoto’s fingers started tapping on his thighs, “You don’t mind?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I minded, Shoto!” Izuku leaned on Shoto’s shoulder as he lightly teased him.

“I just never wanted you to think—“

“Think what?”

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for, Shoto?”

“I don’t want to bother you—“

“You aren’t a bother, Shoto…” Oh, the pity in Izuku’s voice stung just a bit.

“I just—“

“Tell me about the dream, Sho,” and Shoto felt Izuku nuzzle against him as a cat would.

Shoto closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I was young again… in the kitchen… it was that day… but instead of the boiling water hitting my face and being done with… it grew… it spread all over the side of my body… it felt so scalding and overpowering…”

They sat in silence for a few moments… and the Shoto felt Izuku kiss his shoulder. It was soft. Izuku smelled like sweet apples… “oh, I’m sorry!” Izuku blurted out, retreating, “I didn’t mean to assume that you’d be okay with that and I know I should’ve asked because consent is super important but I’ve never had someone—“

“Midoriya— Izuku,” Shoto corrected himself, “It was okay… I liked it… it was something I was nervous about.”

“What do you mean?” Izuku asked for clarification.

“I was worried that… maybe because we… kissed. One time. That you wanted it to just be that. Leave it at that.”

“Oh gosh,” Izuku buried his face in his hands in embarrassment, “I was worried that’s what you wanted! I’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend or anything before so I just wasn’t sure what else to do or anything like that and—“

“I’d like to kiss you again,” Shoto cut off Izuku’s anxiety brain.

“Yes good, I too— yes,” Izuku stammered.

They leaned in slowly and gently pressed their lips together, Shoto savoring the sweet apple aroma and Izuku’s soft lips— and hands, once Izuku’s hands cupped Shoto’s face. It was just as warm and light as it was the first time.

Shoto pulled away for just a moment to ask between kisses, “May I… May I ask for something else?”

“Mm, what is it?” Izuku replied between the kisses.

Shoto pulled away to make sure he could ask properly, and pressed their foreheads together, “Would you mind staying with me tonight? I’m… I’m worried about the nightmares… and I trust you.”

Izuku giggled before falling backward onto Shoto’s mattress, holding his arms out. Shoto responded with a soft smile, moving to curl up beside Izuku. Izuku had Shoto at his chest, one arm around his back. “I do have… one more question, Midor— Izuku.”

“Yes?”

“You mentioned… boyfriend.”

“Oh gosh, I sure did, huh?” Izuku admitted, embarrassed.

“Can we… can we be that?”

“You’re okay with that? Being boyfriends?” Izuku was excited now.

“I would like that.”

“Me too,” Izuku kissed the top of Shoto’s head with a big smile.