Archive of Our Own

Chris sighed.

“Sup, I’m going to the grocery store. Do you fuckers want anything?”
“I want eggs and bacon!” Ah, pink hair. Sophie, was it?

“I WANT THAT MAGE FUCK’S HEAD ON A PIKE” Spiky hair, blond, dressed like an edgy knight, probably a demon, fucking hell. Who the fuck even was that ‘mage fuck’? Couldn’t ask the guy for answers, tho, as he’s already slinking back into the shadows.

“mac n cheese n chicken nuggets~!” yelled Egg, as if she were your typical five year old. Aside from the whole… ‘syskid’ thing and the ritual incident, she kinda was.

Then, of course, Chris met Nora.

“... Hey, what are you doing under our house?”

“Oh.. I…I live here… a-and I’m the one who bought that game on the switch…” Her voice wavered as she spoke.

“...Wanna go grocery shopping with me?”

“...Huh?” Confusion was in her brown eyes, and also she had short brown hair. Need to mention that. Ok, description dump: Fair skin, light brown hair, cute girl, pink sweater, green pants, brown shoes.

“Look, I get a bit lonely considering everyone else here is a fuckface, especially our newest fucker, who is the edgest fuckface of all, and will get us fakeclaimed on reddit for being ‘stereotypical’.”

“... Alright…”

So now he was here. Fronting. At the grocery store. With this girl who had been living under their fucking house in headspace in cocon.

... Hey Nora, what do you want?

“... Can I have some poptarts?

Alright.

• eggs
• bacon
• mage head on pike
• mac n cheese
• chicken nuggets.
• poptarts

What flavor?

“...Cookies and cream…”

• eggs
• bacon
• mage head on pike
• mac n cheese
• chicken nuggets.
• poptarts (cookies and cream)

Alright, where to…

“Wait, how does Egg feel about Sophie’s like of eating eggs?”

One time Sophie made a joke about it and cloud started crying so hard… Kids and stuff, y’know. Chris internally said as he put the eggs in the cart.

And then here’s the bacon. Hopefully Sophie won’t mind that they were out of her favorite brand.

“I heard pigs can be pretty dangerous if they run away into the wild…”

That’s why we put fences around them and stuff.

“... I don’t wanna be a pigkeeper.”

Don’t worry, we already have a job.

The classic mac and cheese and chicken nugget combo meal. Just get a few of these for Egg and then we can get your poptarts.

“... I feel like we’re forgetting something…”

Eh, I’ll check before we leave.

Alright! Poptarts! Big box or little box? And I’ll put one in the fridge for you when we get home.

“...Big box!”

Alright. Should I get two big boxes?

“... Sure, why not!”

Huh. She was smiling.

“Hey! You need to check the list!”

Alright, lemme see…

• eggs
• bacon
• mage head on pike
• mac n cheese
• chicken nuggets.
• poptarts (cookies and cream)

Whelp, here’s just one thing there, and it’s something you can’t get at the grocery store.

Guess once we’re done checking out, we go home.

“Yeah!”

Wanna watch me play video games?

A few days later…

SOPHIE’S ALTER COMPLAINT BOARD

• WHY DID YOU BUY ME THE CHEAP STUFF!!!! - Sophie
• WHERE IS THAT MAGE’S HEAD?!
• can you make the mac n cheese for me pls -Egg
• WHY AND HOW IS HE HERE - Nora

Chris sighed.

“Alright, Chris!” Nora said, outloud, and luckily alone in the house. “Time for you to see the wonders of this game!”

She turned on the switch, booted the game up, and copied her save file, muttering something about “not wanting to fight King Mammoth again”.

One of the characters on the selection screen looked awfully familiar, as if…

“Nora.” Chris said with dread. “Is that guy with the blond spiky hair right there… the source character of our guy with blond spiky hair?”

Nora was silent for a bit, before answering with a little “yes.”

“Play his chapter first, I want to know what the fuck he’s talking about when he yells about dead mages.”