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It's everywhere, and it's beautiful.
Green boughs of red holly wear snow as a white hat, the lampposts they're wrapped around giving them a soft and warm light. Chestnut benches cover their laps with white blankets of the stuff, though they don’t lay unaffected, seeing as passersby have left their marks in the forms of snowy carvings.
A crescent moon is shining proudly in the sky, and its light waltzes gracefully with the snowflakes that glide through the air. It must have been a while since this path was cleared; the bricks below Quackity and his family barely show through the layer of white atop them. The snow on the grass is so thick that Quackity can’t even tell where the ground starts. But his depth perception is just bad in conditions like these anyway.
Still, he has to be an idiot not to appreciate this.
“Papa,” he hears beside him.
“Yeah, baby?” Karl murmurs, gentle with practice but pointed with excitement. Of course he’s excited. Why wouldn't he be? They're visiting New York, just like he always promised they'd do.
Quackity has never liked that he has to turn his head further to look at someone when they're on his left. It means he has more work to do to be able to see Ruby’s amazed expression as she talks to Karl, or Karl’s big ass grin that he can never hide when he’s showing something he loves to someone he loves even more. Quackity never stops adoring the image of Karl holding Ruby at his hip.
“I wanna walk,” Ruby says, already sticking her legs out so her feet land properly when she’s set down. Cutie.
“Okay,” Karl replies, shifting her. “You wanna hold my hand?”
“No.” When she’s set down, Quackity resists the urge to grab her hand anyway. He always has to anytime she does something new. He doesn’t ever give in because she’s a strong girl. Whatever she learns from reality is what she uses to fuel whatever toddler view on the world she has, and for a toddler, she’s incredibly smart.
She doesn’t take advantage of her freedom to run off or jump in the snow. Instead, she takes a careful step to test how the snow crunches beneath her purple boots, and then she walks with caution. Her fathers turn around and slow down to let her catch up.
“You like the snow?” Sapnap asks her with a proud smile. She needs a moment to decide on it, but then she flashes a giggly grin. “Yeah? What do you like about it?”
“Sound,” she says as she stomps her feet.
“It’s cool, right? Chrr, chrr, chrr.”
“Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh…”
“Yeah! Sounds just like that.” Each little achievement of hers is a huge victory in their hearts. For Sapnap, though, it’s like his purpose in life is reinforced over and over and over. The smiles he gives Ruby don’t ever become less genuine, and the songs he sings to her are never less meaningful, and his gifts for her are always filled to the brim with love. His love for her makes their blood flow stronger and smoother.
“Is it hard to walk in?” Karl wonders.
“No.”
“Pos vente,” Quackity tells her, “walk in front of us.”
“¡Voooy!” she calls, bouncing as she sprints toward them before evening out at their speed. He laughs as he spins back around. Now they’re all walking forward at the same easy space.
Quackity watches the snow fall onto his family’s heads. Ruby’s head is kept warm with a beanie and her coat’s hood, and her hair is too short to stick out and catch any snowflakes. Sapnap’s, however, is not. While his hood may be keeping it off his face, the snow lands in the black curtains that run down his shoulder like stars twinkling in a black sky.
And of course he loves what the snow does to them, but it’s remarkable what it does to Karl. Karl doesn’t have anything to cover his head. His spontaneously curly hair has white sprinkled all over it like sugar powdered across a pastry. Or maybe he’s like a brown bunny with white limbs fit for the winter. Yeah. That sounds better. A bunny in its natural home, made for the heat of the summer and the cold of the winter all at once. A versatile beauty.
Quackity doesn’t get away with staring for long. Karl only has to flit his eyes in his direction, and suddenly Quackity is adamant on looking straight ahead while walking.
“You know I'm gonna catch you every time you do that.”
“Shut up.”
“Don’t be like that, Quacky.” He feels an arm wrap around his waist and pull him close. Immediately, warmth fills him and overflows in his face and chest. “You can look at me if you want. I know I like looking at you.”
“Fuck off,” Quackity grumbles.
“Sweetheart,” Karl singsongs quietly, just for him. He tries so hard (and fails miserably) to cope with that stupid tone of voice that makes his stomach flip. Then Karl turns his head with his fingers and forces him to look up, and God does Quackity hate their height difference and how sharp Karl’s eyes are when he stares at someone and holy shit does he want to kiss him so bad right now.
Sapnap interrupts them. “You’re in public, sickos.”
“Jealous?” Quackity teases.
“No. Of course not.” He so is. “I just know how you two get before you start making out, and I’d rather keep walking.”
“You got a problem with men kissing in public?” Karl accuses, faking offense.
“I— I am literally engaged to a man! Two!”
“Babe,” Quackity says mournfully, “he’s avoiding the question…”
“I know. Can you believe him?”
“I’m not—! Ugh. Dove, tell your dads to stop bullying me.”
“Stop bo-ying Daddy!”
“See? Now you have to stop because she said so.”
“You sicced her on us!” Karl cries.
“It’s better than—“
Ruby suddenly trips, hitting the ground with an oof!
Her fathers stop in their tracks, watching for any sort of bad reaction out of her. Quackity wonders if she hurt her hands, or if she hurt her knees, or if she twisted something, or if she hit a rock—
She puts her hands onto the ground and gets up. They all sigh with relief.
“Fío,” she huffs.
“¿’Ta fría la nieve?”
“Sí.”
“Ve con Daddy. He’s warm.” Sapnap scoops her up and holds her close, planting a couple kisses on her cheek. She snuggles up to him with a hug around his neck.
“Is fría cold?” he asks. His determination to learn Spanish never stops being heartwarming.
“Yeah. I don’t think touching snow with your hands is fun.”
“You’re a loser, then.” Karl runs up to the side of the brick path, approaching the thick layer of snow. “Check this out.” Despite having no gloves, Karl sticks his hands in the snow, and Quackity can’t imagine how much his hands are fucking freezing. When Karl removes his hands, they hold a small ball of snow.
He cranks his arm back, and Quackity already knows what he’s going to do.
“Karl, no!” Sapnap shouts, eyes wide and smile even wider.
The snowball crashes against Sapnap’s hip, exploding into prisms and chunks of soft ice.
“Oooohohoho,” Quackity growls, “you’ll pay for that!”
He pulls Sapnap to the opposite side of the path and gathers a huge ball in his gloved hand. By the time he turns around, Karl is throwing another. Sapnap manages to block it with his fist, and he sticks his tongue out. Ruby copies him with a kick of her legs. Quackity throws the snowball and misses, receiving Karl’s mockery in the form of laughter. Neither of them notice Sapnap forming his own snowball, and he throws it directly at Karl’s chest. Ruby cackles as Karl pretends to be deeply wounded. He falls to his knees, dragging out his icy death before going limp.
“Suck it, loser!” Sapnap cries. Victory is sweet, but the grin he gains from Quackity giving him a prize in the form of a heartfelt kiss is even sweeter.
Karl picks himself up and walks over. “Do you guys want hot chocolate? There should be a shack not too far from here, and they have cooler cocoa just for kids.”
“I could use a hot drink,” Quackity shrugs.
“You wanna try hot chocolate, Dove?” Sapnap asks. “It’s like chocolate milk, but it’s warm like sopita.”
Soup. That word brings back bittersweet memories. He remembers drinking hot broth in a large bed, curled up next to the most caring men in the world. But he also remembers all-encompassing pain, tears, and the ruining of those memories in the weeks that followed. Sometimes he wonders if that’ll ever happen again, if he’s really safe here with them.
No. He’s safe. They’ve proven that time and time again, and just because they’ve made mistakes doesn’t mean they won’t repair them.
So he just… tries not to think about it. He lets sopita mean something different as Ruby answers affirmatively, and Sapnap encourages her excitement with conversation as Karl leads them farther down the path. The faintest echo of sharp percussion can be heard from here, and it slowly grows as they walk.
“You wanna hear something dumb?” Karl says quietly.
“What?” Sapnap responds.
“I keep thinking about our sleepovers. Like, this makes me wish we were still teens.”
“Why?” he chuckles. “So I could have seen this sooner?”
“Yeah. And that way we could have played in the snow, gone back inside, and watched whatever you wanted on your dad’s laptop as the street got covered in snow. And then we’d wake up to just… all white.”
“…I wish we’d grown up in the north.”
“Don’t say that. I’m only making this sound nice because I want it to be a nice memory. Growing up with snow all around you actually fu—“
“Hey.”
“…Freaking sucks. Just love it while you’re still here.” Quackity hears him give Sapnap a little kiss. And then there’s another. “You’re loving it, right?”
“Yeah!” Ruby yells. Karl giggles, bubbly like a warm jacuzzi.
“You’re gonna love it more in just a second.”
The fog brought on by the snow is just thin enough for a brick building to be seen. The colorful lights hanging around its roof, as well as the massive trees with white lights and stars above them, make it even easier to see the cozy shack.
“Right there!” Karl points, picking up the pace. Quackity grabs his hand so he knows to slow down a little. It doesn’t work. It just makes him have to keep up with Karl. At least he gets to hold his hand.
The music becomes louder as they grow closer, allowing Quackity to really listen. He’s heard this song so many times in the few years he’s been in America but he’s never been able to find its name.
Karl leads them to the center of a circular walkway before stopping, and Quackity feels like he’s in heaven.
There’s a ginormous Christmas tree in front of him. There are decorative presents with all kinds of patterns and colors all around the bottom. Shiny, matte, and glittery ornaments of various sizes hang on pine branches. Some candy canes hang higher up on the tree, but most of the lower ones are missing. The multicolor lights blink softly, making the tree pleasing to watch. Curling around the entire tree is a golden ribbon with a sparkly finish to it, and it all leads to the electronically illuminated star at the top, glowing with the joy of the holidays.
“Oh my God,” Sapnap murmurs. Quackity looks over at him and finds that all the colors on his face, combined with the shadows of the night, turn him into a beautiful mural. His eyes sparkle with the light that shines upon them, and the snow on his hair reflects the lights too. It’s like his hair is a Christmas tree.
Sapnap turns his head. He’s in complete awe.
“I’ve never seen anything this pretty in my entire life.”
“Neither have I,” Quackity replies. He’s not talking about the tree. But even then, he can’t deny that this whole place is pretty.
“Wights,” Ruby points.
“You think the lights are pretty?”
“…I want chotate mi-owk.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what your papa’s doing, but he should be telling us where the hot chocolate is.”
“I’m getting there!” Karl says defensively. “I’m letting you guys take in the sights. Oh! Baby, if you come get in line with me, I’ll let you choose a little snack if you want one.”
“Otay,” Ruby squeaks with a smile. Karl takes her and promises to be back within ten minutes, then walks around the tree to the brick shack.
“I never used to see decoration this intense in Mexico,” Quackity says.
“No?” Sapnap wraps an arm around Quackity’s waist and pulls him close. “Would they still decorate, at least?”
“Oh, yeah.” Quackity hugs Sapnap’s shoulders and rests his head on them. “It was just more ‘ooh, bright lights’ than this. Our tree was pretty, though.”
“What did it have?”
“Barely anything. A little round rug around it, some lights, and this light-up angel figurine at the top.”
“Sounds like a lot to me. I’d consider just lights barely anything. That’s what we had.”
“I still think that would have been just as pretty.”
“How so?”
“Well, like… your dads love you. A lot. Enough to work for the littlest gifts just so you could have a Christmas present each year. So just lights on a tree is still pretty because your family makes the memories of it nice. I guess that’s why I consider my tree pretty; even though the one I had with my old parents had more shit on it, I didn’t like where I was. Once I liked where I was, I liked the tree.”
“Does this tree mean anything to you?”
Quackity looks at it closely.
“I’m in the snow for the first time with my fiancés and our daughter. A cool tree just makes it even better.”
Sapnap kisses his forehead, once, and then twice. He doesn’t know what for, but he likes kisses, so he tilts his head up and lets their lips meet, and that’s when he gets it. Sapnap kisses him slowly, a soft kind of love filling Quackity’s heart. His body warms right up and any tension he had is replaced with gentleness. This is Sapnap giving him more reason to love this tree, if only as a symbol.
Between kisses, Sapnap whispers, “I love you, babe.”
Quackity waits until they’re done kissing to say, “Love you too.”
He suddenly hears Ruby calling them, and they turn to find her running up to them. Karl, who’s behind her, carries their drinks on a cardboard cup holder. Steam flows out of three of the cups, and the smallest one doesn’t seem to have any.
“I got to-tee!” Ruby shouts triumphantly.
“You got a cookie?” Sapnap says, crouching down. “What kind?”
“Mem-mem.” She holds it up to him. The plastic is too reflective to even see the thing.
“M&M! You gonna give me a bite?”
“No!”
“No?” He looks hurt. It’s so funny. “Not even if I say please?”
“…Say peas.”
“Can I please have a bite of your cookie?”
“No.”
“You little menace.”
“I literally bought us all cookies,” Karl says. “Quit complaining and get them out of my pocket. And find us somewhere to sit, ‘cause I want my drink.”
Sapnap starts leading them away from the tree. The light around them fades from bright to gentle, and Quackity turns around to look at the tree one more time. For some reason, the thought of leaving it fills him with an empty sort of sadness.
What he wants to do is move on and act like it doesn’t bother him. It’s small, sure, but he can feel his mood dropping the farther away they get. Something like that isn’t worth going back for, though. It’s just a tree.
But because he’s learned to by now, he ignores that and tugs on Karl’s sleeve.
“Hey,” he mutters, “can I go get a picture of the tree before we go?”
“You don’t have to ask,” Karl responds with a smile. “Just the tree? Or you want us to pose?”
Well, when he puts it like that…
“Let’s just get a selfie or something. Literally just peace signs works.”
“I don’t have hands right now,” Karl whines. They’ve started walking back to the tree.
“You can figure it out,” Sapnap says, “you’re good at taking cute selfies.”
The process of taking the selfie is quick, but it’s so fun nonetheless. Karl has to crouch down a little to both make way for the tree and meet Sapnap‘a height. Sapnap has to carry Ruby at a strange angle, which leads to him holding her diagonally. He and Quackity just stare at the camera because they don’t know what else to do. Ruby knows the photo is happening, but she’s a little too focused on eating her cookie to care.
The result is Karl sticking his tongue out, Sapnap having a resting bitch face, Ruby staring off into space, and Quackity looking bored out of his mind. The tree is joyous behind them. Perfect. Perfect in every possible way.
They continue their walk after that. They don’t find any seats, but they do discard the cup holder in favor of just holding their drinks. The hot chocolate is scorching, but it’s a bit bitter and almost tastes like natural chocolate. It’s so good, and it’s even better with a chocolate chip cookie.
Suddenly, Ruby stops blowing on her drink. She takes a determined sip, and by the look of her puffed up cheeks, she seems to hold it for a moment before swallowing.
“¿Rico?” Quackity asks. She smiles up at him.
“Mmmmm!” It’s impossible not to smile back, much less giggle at her happiness. “Papi, se me ‘ta titano el fío.”
“Qué bueno porque si no, te estarías congelando.”
She gasps. “¡No!”
“Siii. Como una paleta. Ándale, hasta de fresa.”
“No— ¡no tielo sel paleta!”
“What are you saying?” Sapnap asks. “She sounds distressed. Stop torturing her.”
“Oh, so hearing me speak my native language is torture?”
“No I— I just did not say that! I did not say that.”
“Dude, that’s—“ Karl squeaks, immediately having to stop to let his laughter subside. “That’s twice now! That is two setups!”
“He is putting words in my mouth! That is not my fault!”
“Yeah?” Quackity grins slyly. “You want my tongue in there, too?” Karl punches him square in the elbow for that, and he laughs his ass off.
“Maybe I would have said yes if we weren’t literally in public. Now I only want my hot drink. Idiot.” Sapnap is totally blushing, but he plays it off and keeps an eye on Ruby. The rest of their walk is fairly easygoing. They talk about Karl’s childhood in New York, then they finish their hot chocolate and find a stand-alone bench, and lastly clear it of snow before getting comfortable. Their conversation continues, this time switching to the topic of Karl’s last Christmas in his and Sapnap’s hometown.
“There is so much your parents should not have let you do,” Quackity groans disappointedly after hearing about encouragements to go to parties and knock up girls. It’s an understatement, actually. Hearing about Karl’s parents makes him very fucking angry. It’s no wonder he turned out the way he did, and it’s no wonder it took so long for him to finally start getting better.
“I’m telling you,” Karl scoffs, “they didn’t care where I was so long as I didn’t ‘ruin’ their perfect holiday. If that meant I was happier at home than with them over here, I was fine with that.”
“You could have gone to our house,” Sapnap says meekly.
“I know that now, babe, but I was seventeen and anxious and dumb. I thought I’d be intruding.”
“You’re still anxious and dumb.”
“Well, not as much! My point is I was alone for the holidays with a car and a debit card. I didn’t wanna go to Sapnap’s house and I obviously don’t like women, hookups, or parties. So instead of going with people, I just… sat on my laptop and started watching Rick and Morty.”
“Unbelievable,” Quackity chuckled.
“What? It wound up helping me cope.”
“You were probably so rude back then.”
“…Okay, yeah, I was.”
“Oh!” Sapnap realizes. “Was this the first time you—“
“Shhhh! I wanna tell Quacky. So, I was watching Rick and Morty. Like, binge watch. I forgot to eat for, like, three days.”
“Holy sh—“ Quackity nearly shouts.
“Language,” Sapnap grumbles.
“Jesus Christ!”
“Yep. And then I learned that there were all these different Ricks and Morties from different timelines, and I thought, ‘that’s weird! How does that even work?’ So I googled it, and I learned what the time-space continuum is. The concept of us making completely different worlds just because we did or didn’t do something, it— it was fascinating to me!”
“Hold on, so… your special interest in that stuff came from a literal Rick and Morty hyperfixation?”
“…That is… a valid way to describe it, yes. I literally listened to all these Youtube videos on timelines and stuff while doodling Morty in empty places on my sketchbook, and I didn’t stop until Sapnap messaged me to ask what I was doing. And then I dumped all of this onto him. From Rick and Morty to timelines.”
“Boredom must have hit you hard.”
“It did. The first thing Sapnap told me after I rambled for half an hour was to go drink water, eat, and shower. I’m surprised I didn’t destroy my throat that night after shoveling, like, every bit of leftovers in the fridge into my mouth. But you know what he told me after I finished taking care of myself?”
“What?”
“He told me he was glad we’re in the timeline that we are, where he got to have such an amazing friend this early into his high school career. And he said he would do anything to keep it linear, so it’s just this long line of us being best friends for as long as possible.”
Quackity’s face softens. He feels his heart beat gently, enamored by the notion.
“I was thinking about that,” Karl says fondly. “That line.”
“You think we’re still on it?” Sapnap asks him. Karl takes a sip of his hot chocolate and ponders.
“No. It got off track a while ago.”
“Oh. What…”
“What happened? I mean, what else happens? Things go wrong. We screwed up here and there. We had to fix a lot. But we wound up okay, didn’t we?”
“Where do you think you…” Quackity tries, but he trips up on the technical terms. “Like, where did the timeline…”
“Where’d it branch off?” He nods. “Hmm… I think it started somewhere when we grew up. Once we both became adults, we stopped living in the same world we lived in when we were teens.”
Quackity’s eyes flicker down to Ruby, who’s sat on Sapnap’s lap and kicking her legs.
Karl shrugs. “Maybe. Maybe it started when Sap got with his ex. Maybe it was when he became a father. Or maybe it was my doing for going to North Carolina. It could have been any of it, or even all of it.”
“…Did…”
“Hmm?”
“Did I— did me meeting Sapnap, and becoming part of his life… did that change anything? Did that make a branch?”
Karl rests a hand on the side of Quackity’s neck, his thumb rubbing gently. The touch gives him a sense of comfort he wasn’t aware he needed then and there.
“I like to think that was two paths coming together. Less like a branch on the same tree and more like two puddles with splatters that meet in the middle.”
“If you’re on the same line as me,” Sapnap interjects, “does that mean it was also your life that joined with Quackity’s in that moment?”
“I don’t think so. My droplet spilled away and you hadn’t brought it back to the puddle yet.”
“And now we’re one big puddle,” Quackity says. It’s such a dumb thing to say, but within context, it’s enough to make him cry.
“I wite puddos,” Ruby announces. “Jumpy, jumpy.”
Quackity leans down and plants a few kisses on her temple.
He doesn’t cry, though. Not during their walk with hot chocolate in hand and snow atop their heads. Not in the dead of night when they decide they’ve been out too long and search for a taxi. Not upon getting back to their hotel room and taking off their wet coats and hats. Especially not in front of Ruby as he bathes her in warm water and reminds her how glad he is to have her in his life.
Quackity hands Ruby off to Karl and Sapnap so he can shower. He leaves the door unlocked, but would never admit that it’s on purpose. It benefits him either way. Sapnap joins him shortly, and he scrubs the spots on Quackity’s back that he can never reach by himself. He’s sluggish but determined. Quackity can tell he’s tired. He can’t wait to climb into bed with him and relax.
After changing, they spend just a little longer together via brushing their teeth. Sapnap keeps him close with a hand on his hip. Touchy motherfucker can’t go a day without making sure his fiancés know they’re his. It’s not like they’re going anywhere.
They leave the bathroom to find Ruby fast asleep on her makeshift blanket bed. The room has only one bed, so they had to give her the extra pillows, but it works out in their favor. She’s a roller and she likes having a low bed. She’s happy like that.
Karl, who had been watching over her until now, stands up from his spot next to her and leaves to tend to his own hygiene. In the meantime, Sapnap and Quackity climb into bed. They watch whatever is on TV (which happens to be Family Feud) as they wait for Karl, and because it bores the shit out of them, they wind up cuddling and kissing with no clear goal in mind. Quackity likes those kinds of cuddles. The ones where they cuddle just because they can, and not because they want something or because they need to meet a need. It’s just natural.
When Karl comes back, he turns off the lights and climbs in next to Sapnap. They exchange a few deep kisses, and then Karl pulls away to get comfortable.
“Love you, Pandas,” he whispers. Quackity is pretty sure Sapnap says it back.
Family Feud lulls them into serenity. Sapnap is the first one out, his snores rumbling in his chest and vibrating deep in Quackity and Karl’s bodies like white noise in a womb. Quackity eventually asks Karl to turn off the TV, and he seems to lag as he does so. He deserves the rest. Today was wonderful.
Then Quackity hears a whisper.
“Alex?” Karl breathes. Quackity’s real name slips off his tongue like smooth, shiny gold.
“Yeah, hon?”
“I love you. Thank you for being here with me.”
And that.
That is when Quackity tears up.