Work Text:
Overcast weather coated the skies in grey blankets and the dulling clouds accompanied the pattering rains.
Pit-pat, Pit-pat .
Drops of water poured from the sky, the tears of heaven raining down loudly on the quaint blue car. It felt like it was warm and cold at the same time. The type of warmth where your limbs are freezing cold but you feel the flutter of heat inside of you, despite your body saying otherwise. The type of feeling where excitement and fear are jumbled all together and you can never untangle them, forever thinking they will just be together as one. Feelings are complicated, oh who would have thought?
The drumming of the rain can be heard and the thought of civilization was both dreadful and comforting to the red man. People were nowhere to be seen, and there were no traces of any individuals living around the place…well, except for that old man earlier, which is something they all refused to discuss further. A claustrophobic fear was in the air, worry and tension drifting through. It wasn't a good day at all, three of them were cautious and for good reason.
"...I don't know, I don't think this is a good idea..." muttering under his breath, Duck is certainly scared shitless. Water came from the skies above, painting the concrete wet. Puddles were scattered everywhere and they were never-ending. He doesn't know what it is, but by god, he was scared of it. Maybe it was just a scary phenomenon, possibly a punishment from whatever god was out there, a punishment for leaving home. But he didn't want to know, and he never did. If it was retribution for leaving then he can be assured he never wanted to leave. No matter how scary, horrible, and mostly traumatic his life was, maybe it was better than venturing out into the unknown and finding foreign objects and risking so many things. He can be considered adventurous, but not in that sense, he can swear that much.
He can speak up about the lessons on occasion, how sometimes they didn't make sense, or how he thinks it's absolutely stupid. He can be aware of many things and be brave enough to stand up for himself. But this is one event that requires far too much bravery, and far too much risk. A risk to lose it all, a risk to forget everything, and a risk to lose his world, his family . It's a gamble he’s not ready for. Yet despite it all, an ember of hope sparked inside of him and he let it grow like wildfire. The hope of feeling the outside world, the hope of feeling real and not like…this. He wanted to get out of this felt madness, the colours keep burning into his skull, and every time he averts his eyes away from it, the glimpse of bright and pastel hues would still be in his peripheral vision. It was truly hell, maybe leaving might be better. He may want to be drowned before admitting it but he does care for the small bunch they had formed.
Red's breath hitches, the sharp sound was too obvious to be let go.
"You alright?" Duck was too scared to ask and too curious to know, a deadly combination often leading to one's demise. He felt like he couldn’t just possibly side with one emotion and it was hard to choose between both.
"I-I just...the sky-water hits this thing and it makes me kind of nervous…'s all." Red mutters, quickly focusing on driving and escaping the confines of the house. He ignores the horrible pain in his head, the ringing in his ears, and the dread deep within his soul. Tainted, tainted , it whispers. Tainted, you tainted, horrible man.
The dread was an emotion, now a thought. A thought far too big to be contained in such a word, now it lives as a voice. One that Red has grown to hate every day. Whispering accusations he knows to be false, he quietly falls into the abyss of lies and deceit of it. It pools into his stomach every time, and the void finds refuge in his disgusting body, forever living as a parasite and leeching off of him. It's not the type that he can easily pry out of his flesh, and throw across the floor in fear of it coming back. It's not something he can get out of his system while he clings on to the toilet seat and lets his insides come out of his mouth. He can't, and he hates it so.
Sometimes he feels like he could just easily dig it out of his body, physically. Almost as if he wants it gone by any means he deems necessary. The voice whispers to him again, Do it, you know you want to. He's stuck, once more, between wanting and hating it. He's scared of himself and the thoughts that he's forced to listen to. It would plague his mind, endlessly, like fresh blood branching out in clear water.
The tumour grows inside of him, the tense atmosphere not helping his internal dilemma. It's afternoon by now, but it doesn't feel like it. The somber sun is almost reaching the hilltops of the view, almost looking like it's hiding from them. The rain hasn't stopped and there's still the sound of water hitting the metal roof of the car. They haven't stopped yet, and they don't plan on doing it anytime soon. However, on some occasions, maybe they would eventually have to—
"...'m hungry…" Yellow complains to both of them. He just wanted the boring car ride to be over, and it felt so wrong to be away from the house. The house was the only thing he knew, apart from the other two, and it felt so so wrong . Being parted from one of the main things he knew (yet still a mystery to all of them), didn't rub off in the right way, but Red was too determined and looked somehow desperate to get out. Just, get out, and somehow not be trapped in that thing. He didn't mind making a sacrifice for his friend, but he missed the house dearly even if so. The other him won't be bored though, he's there everywhere he goes! He doesn't have to worry about him much since he speaks lots of boring nonsense, but it does kind of sound smart. He's sure he'll be fine.
"Eat the raisins then." Red proposes, hopefully, the small boy would stop his nagging. But then again, who can blame him? He lives in such ignorant innocence where everything looks fine on the outside, but what he doesn't know is that there’s a morbid truth that always creeps in the shadows, feeding on fear and enjoying their unease. Red pretends he never felt the sudden protective urge that burst in his chest once he saw the yellow figure glaring at him. What an odd sight it might've been.
"Oh, raisins again!" The boy tasted raisins on the roof of his mouth, the sides of his cheek, and even on his poor tongue! He can't bear raisins anymore, he's decided he's going to be an adult and he will be treated like so. He can hate things now.
"What? What are you insinuating now?! Just sit down, boy, there's still a long journey ahead!"
“But we’ve been here for hours! We left at midday!”
“Oh settle down now, both of you. We’ll get there soon .”
Yellow huffs and crosses his arms, bothered by the lack of answers and the increase of questions. It seemed like sitting still was impossible for the boy, and the statement wasn’t something he'd deny. He's reverted to a bundle of restlessness ever since they left the house.
“Well, if you’d like, we can stop for a while. It’s getting dark now after all. You remember your place in the sleeping room, right? We’d lay down and get comfortable, then there would be black ink in our vision and we'd wake up suddenly and there would be sudden music coming from somewhere.” Red desperately tries to make Yellow remember those memories only he experiences. The self-awareness he’s had within the house felt so isolating, so lonely. He's at least hoping a small part of them would feel how he felt, awful as it may sound.
"What? What are you talking about? You're speaking nonsense again." Duck raises his eyebrow at him and Red sighs, dissatisfied with his answer. He looks ahead into the puddled road and the sun deep into the hills by now. The gloomy sunlight slightly peeked and flowed in between the dimming hills and the lack of light showed.
"Just, nothing. I thought we should stop for the night." Letting the words fall out of his mouth, Red deeply sighs once more. He at least hoped that something would change when they were outside the house, but it never seemed quite like it. Still the same, boring
Still boring out here . He thought while looking under the sky, colours danced together in the troposphere that collided with hues of the universe, a sight like no other. Stars shone in the sky, lived together in groups and started to form different patterns. But it's better than that house.
Red steps onto the brakes and gently pulls over, the inertia coming to a slow pause as he stops the car. He pulled the handle of the car door and it clicked. Leaning out of the door, he stepped on his right foot and felt the cold wind against his fur. The cold cement under him felt rougher than he'd want it to. With both his feet down the road, he then opened the door for the passengers, "Hey, get out first."
Duck gawks at him in disbelief and betrayal. "How rude! You make us leave and THEN you want to leave ME out there? IN THIS HARSH ENVIRONMENT?!" He squawks at Red and with Red done with his bullshit, he pulls Duck by the collar and lifts him up with ease as Duck trashes around, slightly scratching Red's arms. Red gets inside the car and lays Duck on his lap before closing the door of the car's corpse. The seat creaks as Red’s weight is put on the leather seat and he slumps down in exhaustion, the pressure of the situation finally starts to wear him out without realising it. He sighs for what seems like a hundredth time, before craning his neck downwards to face his feathered housemate.
"God, it is freezing out there." The tall man shudders as he recalls the wind flowing through his scarlet fur. Frowning, he speaks in a voice ever so softly, "I wouldn't make any of you stay out there, Jesus."
It takes a while for Red's brain to register that he technically just put Duck on his lap.
Oh well .
"Can you, put me DOWN now?" Annoyed, Duck glares at him looking embarrassed. Just imagine that, an old man ? Embarrassed ? Hilarious. Red just stared at him, for some odd reason he too didn't know. His gaze trailed to the duck’s unwavering glare and somehow, his sight stayed there. Tempting as it might’ve been for Red, he ignores the will of his body to pull the other man towards him for more, greedy as it may sound. Duck climbs down and sits on the seat, sinking into the worn-out leather, flustered out of his mind. He kept shifting himself and adjusting, the seat creaking and his face was dusted with a slight tint of red. It was horrible, absolutely dreadful . The tallest one? Dare to provoke HIM?! He wouldn’t let it slide so easily now, if he felt weird then he needs to feel the same as well! At least, that’s how Duck’s thought process worked this time.
Climbing up Red's lap again, Duck made sure he gets his little "revenge" (no matter how petty and stupid it may be), and he sits on the taller one's lap out of pure spite. His ego can wait later, but he will not choose to be the "bigger person" in the room, what a silly concept! Most likely also made by silly people!
He audibly sulks, hinting at the taller man of his self-obliged decision, the taller one unknowingly flushed with the same colour as his skin. Red thanks that he was born with that damn colour and that the only light open was the headlights because otherwise, he would be basking in shame and embarrassment which is something unwanted in this circumstance.
Oh, what are you implying then? If it were a different circumstance—
Red decides he doesn't have an internal voice anymore. It does not exist.
"U-uhm, what are you…doing exactly…?" Red stutters, he does not want to. Excited, scared, and happy, a flurry of emotions burst into his chest and spread like wildfire, devouring him wholly. The heat spread to his face, chest, and everywhere on his body and it was uninvited. Red did not like the sudden intrusion. Duck just huffs at him again, refusing to give him a proper answer.
"I'm staying here."
"E-eh? Alright…then…?" Red's just confused at the unexpected decision of the feathered one, but it's not like he minds the company. Whenever his feather grazes his fur it feels…nice, in an electrifying sort of way. Speaking of which, they were never taught the lesson of electricity in your body, and Red finds that quite odd. Teachers were there to teach, so obviously they'd need to tackle the lesson properly. Hmm , Red just decides that maybe they're all incompetent and unfit to teach.
Red coughs, writhing in the unspoken and tense silence that surrounds them. It was far from comforting, yet it was all too familiar. It was the same tension that settled in the room back at the house, whenever they waited for the talking objects to sing a song. It was always an awful feeling always gnawing at them, sitting there and waiting warily, just staring into blank space until something happens because it was all they could do at the moment.
"Well uh, this weather is quite….cold, innit?"
Duck grimaces at him, " 'Innit?' Are you serious? You sound British, and I mean that in a condescending way."
“You’re British too, mate.”
Yellow giggles at the sight of them both, seemingly happy to see both of them getting along even if it was a tad bit…odd. He wasn’t sure how to describe it, it was just, different. And better, from how they used to treat each other. Normally, it would just be them arguing or fighting over things that are actually irrelevant and it would continue for days before one party gives up and says their apologies, which usually, would be Red. Swinging his legs happily, Yellow smiles at his family non-violently bickering for once, and the constant jokingly light jabs that Duck gives to Red. It made him feel airy, and it was different from how everything had been at the house. The claustrophobic air switched to a more lighthearted one, and it felt nice. In fact, the feeling felt so nice, Yellow remembered that he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be happy.
“Well-uuh, guys?”
The two perk their heads to the youngest, all eyes on Yellow. They were actually waiting for him to speak and they were attentive to what he had to say . Another new thing that he liked, Yellow thoughtfully noted to himself.
“Yeah? Anything you need buddy? If it’s food then we’d have to wait for tomorrow. It’s not possible to forage for toni-”
“N-no! It’s not that!” Yellow dismisses Red, and he takes in a big breath as if he needs to ready himself for this big moment. Exhaling through his nose, he let the silence take over first for some dramatic effect.
“Is it alright if we can all…sleep together?”
Red hums to himself, deep in thought. He considers his offer to be harmless, and useful too. The cold night won’t be over soon, and he’d- , no, they’d need all the heat that they can get. Red leans into the window, his face reflecting into the window covered in a layer of dust. He looks towards the trees, gently swaying in the breezy night, and the water droplets that clustered themselves, forming bigger droplets. His train of thought compared his family to the water droplets, and how they’d grown into each other and formed a clump; it was something better than being isolated and alone.
“Well, I surely don’t mind it! Come on here, then!” Duck urges the two to lean closer into him, his feathered fingers tugging the others' arms and pulling them into his welcoming embrace. Yellow quickly latches himself onto the smaller green figure, and he returns the favour. Red, on the other hand, didn’t seem to know much about this odd gesture of affection and just awkwardly placed his arm over the two. However, Duck didn’t seem to mind his awkwardness or anything, really. He just wanted to be close to the other two, and it felt relieving to feel alive in tight embraces. They haven’t escaped this hellhole yet, their adventure not even halfway finished, but he felt alive in the midst of this madness. He could feel how Yellow pressed his arms and fingers deep into his torso, and how Red only lightly pressed onto both of them. Duck concluded that Red was terrified he’d break the both of them to which he only replied with a groan.
“Oh, come on, you! No need to be scared of some simple affection-giving now!” Duck yanks Red much closer to him and Yellow, the Red man stumbling for a few seconds before adjusting himself upright.
"Much better! It feels much better than before!" Duck happily hums, smiling to himself contently. His tail wags at the slightly forced affection but he enjoyed it nonetheless. It was a better pace than from the house, and he found himself soaking in the love he'd started in this small clump.
Soft sobbing ensued from the hug, beady tears falling from Yellow's tear ducts to his chin and onto Duck's lap. Yellow tried very hard to keep it in but he just couldn't , he felt so happy and sad that it was too overwhelming to handle. He sniffles and pouts as he does his best to prevent the tears from slipping, and small whimpers emitted from him. He grips Red and Duck even more tightly, in fear that they might vanish out of the blue and he'd never get to see them again.
The hug just felt so welcoming, too welcoming that he's scared that it's just another trick for him to fall into. It felt like a gaping void was inside of him and it was filled so suddenly by warmth that it shocked the boy. He accepts it but he wants to let go, in fear that it will hurt him in the future, just like what his… father did to him.
“I-I’m sorry! ‘am sorry! Didn’t want to- To cry! Sorry, so sorry!” He wailed in Duck’s arms fearing punishment, or that they would retreat to their cold demeanour once more, fully ignoring him and ruthlessly insulting him. Duck’s heart ached at the sight of the boy, sobbing and tears forming before falling down. He could feel tears well up in his own eyes too, oh no he didn’t want to cry in front of them, so he sucked it all in, feeling his chest heave and his throat burn. His shoulders clearly tensed and his stomach churned in pity and guilt.
This is what he'd influenced Yellow to be, this is what he and Red are guilty of.
Yellow shook and cried in his arms, feeling the heavy weight of his mistake yet torn between wanting to be selfish for once or to let go out of too much neediness. He’s scared, he’s terrified. He remembers the times he’s been left alone in the dust, to rot in the unforgiving nature of the house. He is just a child, and he wants to feel like a child, not like a grown adult forced into jobs or families or love. He just wants to be loved by Duck and Red, maybe even his dad if he’s ever allowed or given the chance to feel so. But he never was, and he never did, leaving him to completely let his troubles and needs pile up and now it has burst into a million pieces, the bottle cracking and his worries spill, on display for them to see. It hurt so much yet he didn’t know what to do, after all, he is just a child in the end.
“O-oh dear, oh no…” Duck bit the inside of his cheek, unsure of what to do with the situation. Tears are already halfway near spilling but he refuses to show weakness and fear in this situation, despite how terrified he actually is. He holds it all in and pushes it down, but it fails. He’s already started crying and at this point, there is nothing he can do, so he lets it be, and for the first time in his life, Duck felt peace inside his body. No singing teachers, no control, and no interruptions. Duck closed his eyes and grabbed both of them into a more tighter embrace, whilst Red is still trying to process the situation and trying to take control of it as he always does. His natural role slipped away from his grasp and he, too, didn’t know what to do.
They’re three people with a situation at hand; Red tries to help Duck and Yellow, Duck tries to help Yellow, and Yellow tries to stop himself, but none of it works and now they were just a bunch of sobbing messes that held each other tightly, not wanting to let go. They felt loved, they felt warm. They felt at home.
Sniffles and soft sobs came from the trio, and they just did not want to be untangled. If they were messes, then so be it, they’ll be messes together.
“C-come on, guys, stop doing tha-a-t…why are you both even c-rying…” Despite Red’s monotone voice (along with his voice breaking at the middle), his voice lightened up the mood, allowing a gap in the situation to let in a breath of fresh air so that they all could breathe properly after all of the crying they just did. Duck wryly laughed at him, finding Red’s mood today to be amusing after leaving the house. He then turned his head down to find Yellow gripping his shirt, face down into his chest.
“You know child, it’s okay to cry. It’s…not your fault.”
Yellow slowly craned his head upwards to look at Duck. His eyes were puffy and tears were still streaming down his face, outlining his cheeks down to the chin. It was evident he was trying to keep it in but he was horrible at maintaining it. “Stop saying stuff like that! You’re not supposed to say that kind of stuff! Makes you all weird! And not okay!” Yellow cried as he frowns at the feathered man. “What? Am I not supposed to be nice now?” “NO! It’s just-!”
Yellow stops himself, trying to think of an excuse.
“You don’t…do that. ‘Ya never do. So, I dunno if that’s good…”
Duck feels himself shiver at the response, his past actions coming to haunt him. Silence fell upon the three, Duck was unsure how to explain it when he himself didn’t know how to do so. His brain is wracked, trying to find a response to the younger one. Inhaling sharply through his nose, he lets himself get ready.
“See, uh…” His voice trails off, and his throat dried, but he tries again. “I don’t know either.”
Was it a lie? Was it the truth? Duck was too unsure to ask it, and he thought it lay in the middle of both; a lie and a truth. He didn’t fully know why he’d treat him so badly it caused Yellow to feel scared about being given love, the bare minimum for a child. He had blamed the world, everyone, even Yellow, for his current situation. A man afraid of change, and a man that held a deep grudge. So much so that he hurt people with it, with his willingness for anger he has forgotten the axe he had held in his hands, and the scars he had inflicted will be memories he can’t remove from his mind.
“I don’t know, I think I knew before but now I don’t know. But I don’t want to be like the old me again, with being not-nice, and all that.”
Yellow just stared at him starry-eyed, admiring his determination and courage. A flame sparked up inside of him and he felt it sway back and forth within his chest, and the constant movement of back and forth caused him to feel joy surge through his veins. He swiftly detached himself from the hug and swung his legs. The small child put his hands under his legs and began to speak.
“You’re better than dad.”
Red snapped out of his daze and turned to the boy, beaming with happiness as he smiled at them both. And for some unknown reason, his breaths became rapid and ragged at the mere mention of Yellow’s old man. He turned to Duck whose shoulders felt tense, breath stopping. Both of them were scared, it seemed.
Yellow turned to the window of the car, which reflected his other self. It stared back with emerald green eyes that shone under the moonlight, and he stared back. The figure held a concerned expression that Yellow interpreted as, “Are you sure?”, but he held an unwavering look on his face, guaranteeing the other their safety with the two. His other self reluctantly nodded, and the reflection turned back to his again.
“D-dad…didn’t like me. Or- or the other me.” Yellow began, his heart pulsing and his body felt heavy once more. He felt like someone was watching him, or was it? He didn’t know but he was terrified of it now. “Or any of us, I think.” Yellow looked them in the eye, daring to face both of them despite his rising paranoia and that the butterflies in his stomach grew to significantly large amounts. “I d-don’t think he was a-a uh…good…one.” Yellow curled himself up, putting his legs on the seat and leaning towards his knees, a yearning feeling inside him that wanted more information to give but he just couldn’t think. “ ‘m head hurts…c-can’t think…”
That was all it took for Red to engulf him in another hug, his parental instinct flaring up and he just wanted to protect the small boy from the horrors they all went through. His…so-called dad …that man, he doesn’t deserve to be called a father . That is a title he does not deserve or is he close to achieving it if he ever even tried, to which Red knows that he didn’t try and he never did. He didn’t give two shits about his damn son and both he and Duck knew that all too well. Despite the gaps in their memories, the blurriness of their experiences, and the overall amnesia and confusion that clouded their heads, they knew that damn well even without knowing why.
“D-don’t think about him, don’t think about that man. He doesn’t deserve you. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…” Red begins to sob once again, his yarns saving the fall of his tears and in turn dampening them. Whispered apologies and sorries did the man say, his genuinity shining through. Red was terribly sorry for it all, he had left the both of them in time of need. By the time he came back out of guilt he saw Yellow, his face stuffed with blood and viscera. The cans seeped with blood that overflowed and the feathers were scattered, blood painted throughout the whole scene and it was the only thing plastered in his head throughout the entire month that they had to endure. The last thing he remembered after those events was a black screen and a humming and whirring that sounded like fans. He regrets it all, he regrets it all so much.
Incomprehensible whispers filled the air as Red desperately tries to clearly voice his sorrows and regrets, Duck stayed still, not being able to do much for the grieving man as he truly didn’t know what to feel in the tense situation. He’d rather not remember the canned man, slowly slicing his abdomen open, the glint of the scalpel catching his eyes and the pain that followed. He doesn’t remember much, some vivid parts of it stuck to him all the time and he’d have glimpses of his body being torn open and organs that belonged to him consumed right in front of his eyes. There would be a faint smell of blood that would occasionally intrude his nose whenever he’d think of such, and sometimes he would think that the canned man is right behind him, ready to strap him to a bed and devour his body to sustain itself. He’d not want to experience those again. No, not once more, never again.
Yellow stared at Red as tears welled up once more, his puffy eyes filling up with crystal-like liquid and just like before, he wasn’t able to stop it. He didn’t want any of them to feel sad like him, and to feel what he had just felt. They all had different experiences and endured different types of pain, but one thing was similar with these three people: the enigma of the house that frustrates them and the regrets they all want to let go do desperately through tears and cries.
The night was young and the cold wind did not stop. They all sat there hugging each other, whether they are feeling peace, frustration, or dread, they all knew it was pent-up and needed to be let go and to have each other know. The rain has stopped by now, petrichor filled the aftermath of the rain. Falling asleep in the embrace, the three felt secure with each other and knowing that it could possibly be better to stick together as a bundle, or a group, or a clump, they all counted it as that. There was no denying it in the end, the three of them could as well be broken children that underwent traumatic events. Even if so, the past is better off left behind, as the three plans for a new, safer world, even if not like a whimsical dreamland, or a promise beyond the rainbows, it was better than before. Three of them were enveloped with hugs and blankets of affection. Three of them, in the present and in the presence of each other. Three of them, just the three of them, and by looking closely, maybe there is a chance for a new life.