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Tina hated going out on New Year's Eve, but she ran out of excuses and felt she owed it to Carrie to finally join her and her friends to celebrate on that night. The music, the jokes and the endless games of “Heads Up!” exhausted her, yet she couldn’t help but smile seeing her girlfriend happy. She was a good person, she was decent, and this friend group reflected her character perfectly. If someone asked Tina to describe them, and by extension, Carrie, in one word, the one she knew that would fit perfectly was nice. The kiss they shared at midnight was nice too, but the second they parted and Carrie went to hug all her friends and exchange best wishes, Tina slipped out of the room and went out on the big balcony to take a breath.
Looking at the fireworks and city lights beneath her, she couldn’t help but think about all the times she spent a night like this one at home, cuddled up in Bette’s arms, the two of them sharing a midnight kiss that somehow always managed to leave her weak at the knees.
She smiled to herself as a specific memory came to mind: both of them sitting on the floor of an elevator, trapped on their way to a therapy session, discussing everything that made them so good as a couple.
“We’d both rather stay in on New Year’s Eve…” one of them said, a little jokingly, and now Tina just smiled sadly at the thought. Wasn’t that the truth… She took her phone out of her purse, and scrolled through the contact list. Her finger was hovering above the one that just said “B”. Maybe it was the champagne, or spending the whole night with people she barely knew. She didn’t know why, but at that moment, she really just wanted to hear the voice that sounded like home.
“Sweetie, are you coming? Drew wants to show us some holiday photos”, Carrie’s voice felt like a bucket of ice water.
Tina quickly shook her head, and put the phone back in her purse, then headed back inside.
***
"So, what are we doing on New Year's Eve?" Bette's question brought her back to reality. It was a sunny morning two days after Christmas and they were lounging on the couch in the Toronto apartment, sipping coffee and reading, with Tina’s feet on Bette’s lap. Back in their early years they used to do that almost every day when they weren’t in a rush to get to work, and now, to the joy of both of them, they were returning to this habit. Sometimes Bette would go out early to buy an actual newspaper, and they joked they were having their “porch moment”, sitting close together the way they would in their WeHo house, holding hands and browsing through the paper together, enjoying the quiet morning.
"Do you want to go out somewhere with your friends, maybe show me the Toronto nightlife?", Bette asked with a smirk. "Or, I saw there were still some tickets left for the opera thing…"
Tina froze hearing these words, something crawling up her spine. "Oh, um… Well, yeah, if that's what you want to do, then sure", she hoped her voice didn't show how much she didn't want to do it.
"I mean, I haven't talked to anyone yet, but I'm sure we can tag along if they're doing something". She tried to force a smile, then stopped herself. It’s Bette, for Christ’s sake. She knew that this time around she had to speak her mind if she wanted it to work. "It's just that…"
Bette just looked at her, and gave a little nod, encouraging her to continue.
"I was kind of hoping we could just stay in like we used to…", she said sheepishly, before adding quickly, "but I don't want to bore you to death! So we might just as well go out! I'm gonna text Marie right away and ask if her and John have any plans, I know they usually meet up with Alma, but…", she knew she was rambling at this point. It's just that everything with Bette felt still so fresh sometimes, so delicate. In a way, they were trying to get to know each other all over again.
"T…", Bette started, a huge grin taking over her face. "I would love nothing more than to stay in with you.” She took Tina’s feet off her lap and gently put them on the couch next to her, so she could scoot over closer to the blonde.
“I just didn't want to assume anything, I know we always used to do that, but we've both changed, and I thought maybe you're a going-out-on-New-Year's-Eve type of person now”.
After a moment of hesitation, she added, "I remember Angie mentioning once or twice that you and Carrie were out somewhere on New Year’s Eve, so I just thought…"
Tina's heart absolutely melted at that. She knew how much Bette hated that day, that fever everyone seemed to experience, the crowds, the chaos. Yet still, she was willing to agree to it if that’s what Tina wanted now, if that was who Tina became away from her. The blonde cupped Bette’s face and laid a kiss on her full lips.
"I can't wait to stay right here with you, cuddle under a blanket, watch a movie, and if we're feeling really wild", she leaned towards the brunette and whispered the next part right into her ear, "maybe play a game of scrabble."
Bette couldn’t help but feel a wave of desire wash over her at Tina's sudden proximity, but she chuckled once she heard the whispered words.
"My, my, Miss Kennard, sounds like a really wild night lies ahead of us." Her voice was low and she kept smiling. She gently pushed Tina onto her back, making her lie down on the couch, as she positioned herself between her legs and leaned over her body.
Tina’s thighs instantly went around her waist, and she grabbed one of them with one hand, using the other to hold herself up. She took a second to admire the woman beneath her, the blonde hair spread out around her head like a halo. God, she’s so beautiful. Bette thought to herself before she dived in and started feeding her one kiss after another, then headed down lower to kiss her throat.
"It's um", Tina tried between kisses, as Bette gently licked and nibbled the delicate skin on her neck, distracting her. She had to get it out before she completely surrendered, "It's Porter-Kennard…"
The words were so quiet, Bette was sure she misheard or simply imagined them. She lifted her head to look at Tina's face. "What did you say, T?"
Tina cleared her throat before repeating quietly. "It's Porter-Kennard". She swallowed. "I never bothered to change it."
Bette just stared at her with wide eyes. "Are you serious?"
"Yes… are you upset? I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just--" she couldn't finish, Bette's lips suddenly pressed to hers, taking her breath away.
"I am so not upset, T", Bette smiled into the kiss. "I can't believe you did that,” she said between kisses as she continued to lay sweet little pecks on the blonde’s lips. “I have so many questions, but right now I just want to show you how not upset I am.”
Tina giggled like a schoolgirl, then squealed as Bette grabbed her thighs more tightly and stood up with Tina in her arms.
"What are you doing, silly, we're not thirty anymore…" Tina protested, deep inside thrilled at being back in Bette’s arms like that.
"I will let you know, Miss Porter-Kennard," the brunette emphasized the last part, "that I am in perfect shape”, she readjusted the blonde in her arms, as if she wanted to make a point, “and I am just about to prove that to you”, she said before heading to their bedroom.
***
About an hour later, they were both lying in bed, crumbled sheets only partly covering their naked bodies, the warmth still radiating from both of them. Bette was lying on her side, her head propped up on her hand, so she could look at the woman lying next to her on her back. Tina seemed completely at peace with her eyes closed, one hand thrown over her forehead, a gentle smile on her face, her round breasts slowly rising and falling with every breath.
Bette was drawing lines on Tina’s soft skin with her fingertips. She stroked her stomach, her belly button, then went higher, circled a nipple with one finger, followed the line of the collarbone, then went down the arm and back again.
"So, what were you saying about the Porter-Kennard bit…", the brunette tried a little jokingly, hoping it wasn’t too early to bring this conversation back.
Tina moved her hand and slowly opened her eyes. After a second, she reached out and started playing with Bette’s hair. "Well, I just couldn't bring myself to do that. I know I was the one who asked for divorce, but this just felt so, I don't know, so final. I didn't want to do that, it didn't feel right."
Bette frowned. "But what about the wedding? I guess you would have to change it before the ceremony?"
"Yes, at some point. I promised Carrie I would do it, but I was dreading it, so my plan was to take care of it as late as possible. I told her I never managed to do that earlier because of how complicated the paperwork was, but…” she was still playing with Bette’s locks, but raised her eyes to look at the brunette’s face. She took a deep breath.
“I guess the truth is… I just never stopped feeling like I was your wife, even when technically I was supposed to marry someone else.” There it was. “I know it's awful, and I shouldn't have done that, but I was scared that if I told you, you would be angry, and you’d tell me to change it, and you'd be right, I just…” She couldn’t read Bette’s expression, so she just lowered her eyes again. “I wasn't ready for that.”
The room was quiet for a second. Bette continued to draw circles on Tina’s stomach.
"I wore your ring"
"What?", now it was Tina’s turn to look at Bette and frown.
"I used to wear the wedding band on a chain for almost two years after the divorce. I only took it off when you told me about the engagement.” Bette’s voice dropped a little involuntarily. “It was all for the same reason. I never felt like I stopped being your wife.” Her smile was a little sad. She looked deep into Tina’s hazel eyes, seeing only love there.
"Really?" the blonde furrowed her brows.
"Really." This time, the smile only got bigger once Tina replied with one of her own.
There was nothing left to say, so Bette just lowered her head and pecked Tina’s soft lips.
"I'm really glad I haven't changed the name, you know" Tina said after a while.
Bette chuckled, then kissed her cheek, her jaw, her chin. "I’m really happy too, but what’s your reason?"
Tina’s smile turned a little cheeky now. "It will save us some time when I get to marry you again."
***
On the night of New Year's Eve, they were back on the couch. Earlier that night they actually played the game of scrabble that Bette clearly won, even though she let Tina use some words that were questionable at least ("Is plogged a word?", she would ask with her sweetest smile and Bette just couldn't help but nod with a smile of her own) – another proof that the new Bette was actually there to stay. And after the game, the brunette was the one to pick the movie they’d watch – she insisted it was her right as a winner, another proof that the old Bette was still there as well.
That's how they ended up watching "Four Weddings and a Funeral", cuddled under a blanket. Bette was lying down with her head on the blonde's chest, softly sniffling as she watched the final scenes.
Tina felt the tears wetting her tank top and looked down at her lover's face. "Oh, babe, we've watched this film like a hundred times…", she chuckled softly, continuing to thread her fingers through dark locks.
"It's just the hormones, okay? It's the hormones," Bette said, eyes focused on the screen.
As Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell fell into a kiss, she spoke again, "You know, we could consider this too. We don't have to remarry, we can just continue doing this," she squeezed Tina's body closer to her to emphasize, "for the rest of our lives."
At hearing these words, Tina lifted her head and gasped jokingly. "Are you saying no to my proposal?"
"I didn't realize you proposed," Bette smirked.
Tina gasped again and almost jumped off the couch, heading straight for the bedroom.
A whine escaped Bette’s mouth as she was left on the couch, deprived of Tina’s warmth. "T, where are you going?"
"I'll be right back", Tina shouted from the bedroom, opening the top drawer in her bedside table and taking out a small velvet box she was looking for.
She came right back into the living room, her hands behind her back, as she approached the couch and got down on one knee right in front of Bette.
“T” the brunette couldn’t help but laugh at the adorable sight, “what are you doing?”
“Bette”, she pulled the box from behind her back, “this is not a proper engagement ring”
The brunette felt tears in her throat as she realized what it was that Tina was holding. “I know exactly what it is”.
The smile they gave each other said it all.
Tina opened the box, revealing the ring she used to wear on her finger for years, and now was keeping safe by her bed. Her wedding band. “Bette Porter, will you do me the honor and agree to marry me, again?”
Bette never actually imagined she would get the chance to marry Tina again. Dreamed, maybe, but never dared to think it could actually happen in real life. She never thought of the circumstances under which it would happen that the two of them would agree to remarry. But somehow, as she looked at the woman she loved her whole adult life, kneeling in front of her in just a tank top and linen pyjama pants, her blonde hair a little messy, her beautiful hazel eyes shining with love, she knew she could never imagine a moment more perfect than this one, even if she tried.
“T, I was joking, you don’t have to do that,” she laughed again, trying to get Tina to join her on the couch.
But the blonde just raised her eyebrows, clearly waiting for a response.
“Yes, yes, of course I will marry you.”
She barely got the sentence out when Tina giggled and almost threw herself at her, straddling her and wrapping her in a hug. Bette could swear at that moment it was the twenty-something she had met all these years ago in her gallery and not the mother of her adult daughter. There were laughs and playful kisses. Tina leaned back, taking one of Bette’s hand from her hip and slipping the ring on one of the fingers. It was almost unbelievable, how right that felt for both of them.
Bette smiled at that, then pulled Tina’s body closer to her, bringing their lips together again. She sucked on the blonde’s lower lip, getting a soft moan from her that made her weak at the knees. Probing with her tongue, she asked for entrance that was eagerly granted by the smaller woman, and soon their warm tongues were sliding against each other. The kiss got heated, and Bette reached up to palm a warm breast through the thin fabric of Tina’s tank top. As she squeezed the soft flesh, Tina broke the kiss to let out a loud moan, then leaned back for a second.
“Can I bend the rules and start calling you my wife again already?”, the blonde asked.
“Only if you won’t get angry by the fact that I’ve been calling you that for months now when I was talking to other people about you,” maybe some other time Bette would be embarrassed to admit that, but at this moment she just didn’t care, and she knew Tina wouldn’t either.
“You have?” the blonde raised one eyebrow in that way Bette absolutely loved.
“Mhm”, Bette was now nuzzling her neck again, inching her way lower.
“Babe, you know how it makes me feel when you call me your wife”, Tina’s voice getting breathy.
The brunette just chuckled into her chest. “Oh I know,” she kissed the top of her breast and tightened the grip on her hips, “my beautiful wife.”
A soft whimper escaped Tina’s throat before she could stop herself. “Bette, if you keep this up, we’ll end up in the bedroom again.”
“Well, that was the plan”, she continued laying more kisses on Tina’s chest, her clavicle, her shoulders.
“No, come on, we can continue later, it’s almost midnight,” and before the remnants of her strength could leave her, Tina got up quickly and moved out of Bette’s reach, walking into the kitchen. “Can you please open the champagne? I’ll get the glasses.”
Once the glasses were filled, Tina stood by the big windows and looked outside. The midnight was less than a minute away now. Bette approached Tina from behind, circling her waist with one arm. She kissed her shoulder softly, before propping her chin on it. They stood there like that, quietly watching the city in front of them, just breathing together and enjoying each other’s closeness.
When the clock struck midnight, Tina turned around in Bette’s arms, and put one hand on her cheek. They smiled at each other and Bette leaned down to kiss her, putting one hand on her lower back, making her lean back a little. Tina smiled and held Bette’s head tighter, so as not to lose balance. Their lips were caressing each other, the kiss sweet and warm and just theirs.
"Mmm, I can't wait to kiss you at midnight every year again", Tina smiled when they finally pulled apart.
"You can kiss me on other days of the year too, you know?" there was a playful smirk on Bette’s face.
At that, Tina lightly slapped her arm, "Bette! You know what I meant."
"I know baby", Bette leaned down to rest her forehead against Tina’s and brushed Tina's nose with her own a couple of times. "I can't wait to spend every year with you for the rest of my life."
Tina's hazel eyes were shining in the low light, reflecting all the colors exploding behind the windows. She kissed Bette again. "Happy New Year, love."
"Happy New Year, T." And somehow they both knew this was going to be a good one.