Work Text:
Cleaning, set-up, final preparations...
All was getting set up for yet another wonderful show here at the wonderstage!
The 4 troupe members worked hard to get everything up and ready for their next performance, after all this would be a big one! one last show to end off the year, it was supposed to be spectacular!
It sure would be a shame if it was all ruined, wouldn't it?
at the back of the stage, just a few minutes before the show was set to start, all 4 of the troupe members could be found putting on the final touches to their costumes, Emu was adding just a littleee more sparkle to her face painting, and Nene was putting some last little ribbons in her hair and on her costume, and lastly; Rui and Tsukasa sat beside one another, discussing the show one final time before finally facing the audience
"I just can't wait to see how the crowd responds when we show off that awesome dragon robot you made, Rui! it's gonna be wonderful!! and I wonder if they'll like the musical numbers we wrote up!! oh oh and I'm so excited to do the choreography along with it! I'll strike an awesome pose at the end!! ah and- ...Rui?" Tsukasa rambled for what seemed like ages, that is until he finally noticed that Rui was not listening one bit
"Ah- Tsukasa-kun, what was that?" Rui turned to face the shorter boy, only to be met with a pout and crossed arms
"You should listen when people talk to you, Rui!!" Tsukasa scoffed back and turned his head dramatically, Rui just stared
It may be rude to ignore others yes, but Rui never meant any harm! ...and what Tsukasa didn't know was that Rui was dealing with worries of his own
But he needed to keep it inside
After all, the others worked so hard- if Rui went and ruined that all then their hard work would be for naught!
And what if...
...Tsukasa-kun yells.
The worry ate away at Rui's mind, but the thought was quickly pushed away upon Tsukasa continuing to berate Rui
"Rui!! the shows starting in just two minutes!! we need to get out there!!" Rui stared blankly, he needed to collect himself fast
"Hey!! are you even listening??" Tsukasa shook Rui's shoulder, the others looked towards the boy's direction, confused expressions quickly turned to that of worry
"Is Rui-kun not feeling well?" Emu asked sadly as she stared at the two from her seat, Nene simply got up and walked over to the two
"Is he okay?" she asked "I'm not sure!! He won't even answer me!" Tsukasa's expression looked pained and worried, Nene shared the same look
It's fine.
You're fine.
Pull yourself together or you'll ruin Everything.
"Ah" Rui started "of course I'm okay! just a bit zoned out- don't worry, huhu" Rui chuckled and put on his silly cat-like grin
Nene and Tsukasa where hesitant to accept that as the truth, but they had a show to start, so it was best to just believe him and not push any longer
"Of course, our director would never fail our show!" Tsukasa smiled and reached for Rui's hand, helping him up as the others walked over to the stage entrance
"Huhu, of course..." Rui may have been lying, but nonetheless, this performance was important, and he wanted to make sure he wouldn't subject the others to his foolish feelings when there were better things to do
Tsukasa spoke "Alright guys! Let's all do our best and go exactly as practiced!! ..and Rui-" he paused, and walked over to the taller boy
"Hm?" Rui replied simply
"I love you" Tsukasa hummed as he reached up and gave Rui a quick peck on the lips
Rui didn't react much, but he supposed the act of affection made him feel at least slightly better
...Even still, nothing could stop the churn in his stomach, he felt so sick from his thoughts
Tsukasa pulled away and regrouped with the others "well then, we're off! We'll see you two on stage!" he signaled for him and Nene to start their opening number, and she nodded along before heading off with him
"Bye-bye!! see you on stage!!" emu jumped and waved happily, Rui simply chuckled
The start of the show went well, Nene and Tsukasa handled the opening wonderfully as planned, and Emu soon joined in once signaled
Last to join on stage was Rui, who was previously just doing simple light work in the back, easy enough when your mind was in shambles, but the next part- not so much...
He was set to bring out the dragon robot, as well as play the villain role in the story
That should be no big task for him, infact he was supposed to be excited! he loved to play the role of villains in the shows they do, and more than that he loved using his inventions to make others smile, and preforming with his wonderful troupe,
But despite all that, all he could feel was complete utter fear
They were watching him; they were all watching him.
Since he arrived at phoenix wonderland those disgusting, putrid, things have been watching him
The eyes loomed around him at every corner, making noises of gurgles and sloshes, ignoring them was no dice- he'd end up just phasing himself out of whatever the activity was and standing there idly like a fool
Even worse, he could end up stumbling down at any moment, his legs could barely hold up, it was taking everything in him to not fall while handling the lights, how could he ever possibly play any role he had in this condition
The nausea felt so overwhelming, the churning in his stomach wouldn't stop, what if he got out there on stage and puked on everything?
It was getting worse and worse by the second, he could hold on a little when emu was there, but now that he's all alone there's nothing to think of expect his own awful thoughts
Worse and worse, his thoughts spiraled further and further
The eyes, the eyes would watch him and as soon as he went on stage everyone else would watch him too
Everything would call him a fool
Nothing but a fool,
A fool.
A failure who can't even stand to his own fears and hallucinations
It was awful, he looked a mess, even after Tsukasa-kun spent so much time on his makeup and costume it would all be ruined before he could even get out there
He was sweating so much, the paint on his face began to melt from the heat of his face, despite it being so frigidly cold outside
He kept grabbing at himself instead of the handles for maneuvering the lights, pulling at his skin and clothes he just wanted to get out
His skin felt gross and nasty.
He felt disgusting as a whole.
He wanted to just cry and run away,
He didn't want to preform,
He couldn't preform.
He didn't want to puke,
He was in excruciating pain,
Scratching at himself,
Hitting himself,
Hitting anything in sight,
He didn't wanna open his eyes anymore,
The eyes followed him everywhere he went,
He could feel bugs in his clothes like they were digging into his skin,
The bugs the bugs crawled out of the eyes and onto the walls and all around him.
He wanted Tsukasa-kun,
He wanted to be comforted and held.
He didn't want to perform.
He wanted Tsukasa-kun,
He's gonna puke
He can't do this.
He can't do this.
He can't do this.
You have to do this. otherwise, you'll fail them all, you'll fail Emu, Nene, and Tsukasa-kun
"I-I'm sorry..." he muttered to himself, tears pricking at his eyes
You think he'd even want to help your pathetic ass? he cares about the show, not you and your mental problems, if you ruined this for him, he'd probably never wanna see you again.
"nononoonn...nono...noonoooo..."
If you ruined this for him he'd cry.
"I'M SORRY" he yelled, succumbing to the darkness of his mind and collapsing to the floor
He felt the bugs began to eat and tear into his flesh
The eyeballs stared piercingly into his soul
His entire body was in nothing but miserable, excruciating pain
His thoughts dug into his head
He felt like he was rotting into the hardwood floor
He felt like he was truly dying
"I-I d-doonn't wwwannan pukkee" he mumbled hazily, gripping at his stomach as he tossed and turned along the disgusting floor
You'll never make anyone smile with how pathetic and worthless you are
The dragon scene was about to start, and yet no sign of Rui came from anywhere, the lights had fallen into the resting position and the color has stayed the same for quite some time now, he hasn't peeked his head out to see the performance, he hasn't made any noise back there...
Tsukasa heard a faint thud and what sounded like a scream come from backstage, If panic and worry wasn't setting in before it surely was now
He could see the worry setting into Nene's face too, something had to be done and fast
The current scene was hurried along, skipping some minor dialog and the like, Emu seemed confused at first but got the memo once Nene whispered in her ear whilst Tsukasa was doing something to distract the audience
The curtains closed and the scene ended with a "we'll be back shortly!" from Tsukasa, the audience was a little confused, but what was more important now was checking on Rui
Tsukasa bolted to the backstage entrance as Emu and Nene followed closely behind,
Peering inside made Tsukasa's heart drop. Rui sobbing on the floor, a pool of vomit beneath his head, tossing and turning violently as if he was trying to push something off of himself,
And yet nothing was there at all
The other two looked in as well, the 3 looked terrified at the sight before them
Tsukasa rushed to Rui's side immediately and Emu followed along, whereas Nene headed off to the mini fridge to fetch Rui a water bottle as well as a towel to clean him up
"Rui!! Hey!! are you okay??" Tsukasa said, sitting beside him, he didn't mind the puke, he knew he could clean everything once Rui was okay
"Why are you hurting yourself, Rui-kun?" Emu sat on the other side, a sad expression painted clearly on her face
Rui couldn't hear their questions; all he could hear was the pounding voice in his head telling him how much of a pathetic piece of trash he is.
His eyes where shut tight as tears streamed down his face and more vomit pooled in his mouth, he was pulling at his hair and hitting his head, he just wanted it to stop
"Rui!! listen to me!! Please!!" Tsukasa lifted Rui's torso up into his lap, Emu tried to hold his arms away from himself, but only with minimal success
"NNoojnnoooononoonooo....nmake it stoop makee it stopp make it stopp" Rui cried, he kept trying to hit himself even though emu was holding him back
Nene came along with the water bottle and towel and handed the bottle to Tsukasa "once you can get a response from him make sure he drinks this, it'll help calm him and get that nasty taste out of his mouth
" she said calmly, before then placing the towel on the puddle and wiping it up as good as she could with the minimal access she had
"Of course!! Rui!! can you hear me at all??!" Tsukasa put his hand on Rui's face, it was sticky and gross, but he hoped the touch would help to bring him to reality
"Ueeuehhhn Ttsukaaasaaa-kiujjnn??" Rui barely opened his eyes, a blurry yellow blob was above him, aswell as a pink one "Emmu-kkun?" he seemed distraught, he didn't expect help
"Rui!! look at me!! What's going on?? what happened??" Tsukasa says, cradling Rui's head in his lap
"Yeah Rui! we're really really worried,, why are you hurting?" Emu asked, still holding onto Rui's hand
"We're all here, Rui, you can tell us what's troubling you, we want to help" Nene spoke gently
"mmhn,, Huurtss" Rui replied, his voice was shakey and he was clearly out of breath "iit's loooking at meee"
"What's looking at you!?" Tsukasa asked
"Theeh eyebaklls..." Rui shut his eyes again, he didn't want to see that nasty imagery anymore
"Eyeballs? there's no eyeballs?! are you hallucinating?!" Tsukasa shook Rui slightly, Rui needed to come back to his senses
"The only things looking at you are us Rui!! so please don't cry!!" Tears pricked at Emus eyes herself, she didn't like to see her friends so upset
Rui just continued to sob in response, his breathing was heavy and quick, it was too much
"Rui, take a deep breath, It'll be okay" Nene said placing her hand on Rui's side, rubbing it gently
"mhnm ookayy" he replied, he breathed in and out, slower each time "iit still hurtss" he whined
"Nothings hurting you!! It's okay Rui!!" Tsukasa held him as close as possible
"B-but my skinn,... it feels yuckky andd the buuggss the bugss"
"BUGS?!!!?! WHERES BUGS?!!?" Tsukasa jumped back nearly dropping Rui in the process, but he managed to catch himself in order to keep Rui safe
"Hes still hallucinating, Tsukasa. Rui, you should drink a water, it'll help with the pain and then you won't have to taste the vomit" Nene says calmy
"Ah- right of course!! Here Rui, sit up and I'll help you drink the water" Tsukasa helps adjust Rui into a sitting position as the others move out of the way to give the two more room
"Thsnnkk yoiu Tsukasa-kunnm,,, I lijke watter"
Tsukasa uncaps and holds the bottle up to Rui's mouth, allowing him to drink slowly, Rui keeps his eyes closed through most of it, letting himself calm down slightly at the cold sensation of the water
"There there, It's okay Rui, we're here for you" The blonde rubs his hand gently on the back of Rui's hair, the other two scooch in closer and grasp Rui's hands
"Yeah, next time somethings bothering you, you should come and tell us Rui, you know we will always drop what we're doing to have your back" Nene adds
"Mhm!! I want Rui-kun to smile lots and lots!! so if you ever can't smile you should tell us so we can help you smile again!!" Emu smiles as tears continue to stream down her face
Tsukasa pulls the bottle away and let's Rui reply, still gently caressing the back of the taller's head
"Y-you guys...aren't m-mad?" Rui stuttered, he had stopped crying once he got the water, but as soon as he spoke the tears in his eyes welled up again
"Of course we aren't mad!! why would we be?! we care about your wellbeing, even if it means stopping the show, Rui!" Tsukasa placed the water bottle down completely so that he could then use his hand to dry up Rui's tears
"You're our director!! so if you can't do the show, then none of us can!! and then nobody would be smiley!!" Emu yelped
"I'm s-soorryy...It's my fault your shows all r-ruined..." Rui sobbed through his words; he didn't want to take away anyone's smile
"That's not what Emu meant, what she was saying is that a show without you isn't a show worth our efforts, so if you can't perform then you can tell us, we can always reschedule to another date" said Nene
"Exactly, so it's okay Rui!! you have nothing to fear, as long as we're around we'll always keep you safe!! so just talk to us, whenever your down we'll be here!" Tsukasa hugged Rui tightly as he spoke, soon the other two followed suit and hugged him aswell
"Super wonderhoy group hugg!!~☆" Emu said, Squeezing the boys with all her strength
"aha, that's right Emu" Nene joined in on the hug, wrapping her arms around the others to the best of her capabilities whilst trying to keep the vomit off of herself
It felt nice, finally Rui's thoughts where put to ease, he was glad to have Tsukasa-kun and the others with him, as long as he's with them he's sure he'll be kept safe...
"Huhu, thank you guys, I couldn't ask for a better troupe"
"Yeah yeah, now can we properly clean up please? you guys are all sticky and pukey and its getting on me too-..." said Nene