Chapter Text
It all started when the teacher deemed it fit to announce Midoriya Izuku's choice of high school after Bakugou's outburst. All your classmates turned back to laugh at him, and you did too, yet your facial muscles didn't twitch in the slightest. Izuku met your eyes with his... big, bug, green-colored ones as the entire class was snickering at him. You detected no malice in his gaze — not when he looked at you, neither when he looked at Bakugou.
You knew he wanted to be a hero more than anything, but you didn't see it happening. Maybe when the two of you were children, you had nodded and spurred him on, but that was all in the past. He was acting like some sorry kid, chasing after a toy he can't have. Get real.
Why were you looking at me like that?
Why don't you hate me?
If you were still on speaking terms with him, you would've probably asked him all that. You found it curious, but you figured it wasn't worth the effort to question him. None of this was about regret. You weren't the type to regret things, or so you told yourself, clinging to your last hope of indifference.
That wasn't all there was to it, though. A powerlessness has been haunting you for years now. If it was ridiculous for Izuku to aspire to be a hero, the same went for you. What hero stands there, watching as a loved one gets tormented and humiliated? Get real!
Yet, not even once had you stood up to Bakugou, not even before you and Izuku fell out of favor with one another. Sure, you ignored Bakugou as if he was irrelevant, and that did well to piss him off, but it wasn't enough. You didn't mean it as an act of psychological warfare — he was just fucking scary, and you would mentally shit yourself, and clam up, and by the time you came back to reality, the altercation had already ended. It was pitiful.
But what the hell, man? Stop looking at me like that, you thought. There was this weird longing in his expression, for you maybe, or if you wanted to be pedantic, for having a friend who believes in him. After all, you were his friend, even if it was long ago. You had been the only person willing to entertain his aspirations, and you're sure with the way everyone treated him, he must've missed that. You whipped your head back around to face the blackboard, no longer able to tolerate the tug at your conscience.
Then, of course, you got bored, and pulled out your phone to play a dumb mobile game for the rest of the lesson.
You had mindlessly wandered back to your classroom, a drink from the vending machine in hand. Apparently you got so distracted in your musing (though calling your mental diarrhea joke compilation 'musing' was pushing it), you went on autopilot and arrived back here, even though you were meaning to leave. Just as you were about to turn back around and maybe admit yourself to a retirement home, since your mind proved to be faulty, something caught your attention.
Bakugou and who you considered his cheerleaders were circling around Izuku. The boy hardly needed an entourage since Bakugou was more than capable of terrorizing him, but those other boys from your class seemed intent on following him. He had noticed your presence, but as usual, he ignored you like most people ignore harmless flies.
You and Bakugou mostly existed around each other, pretending the other isn't breathing or present. Still, at his cruelty, you couldn't help but wince. He was waving something in the air, and you were not yet demented enough to not recognize Izuku's notebook, the one with all the pro-hero factoids. Before you could focus too much on your restored faith in your memory, the object caught fire and Bakugou reached out his hand to throw it away.
Then you exhibited behavior that was very unusual.
Without thinking about it, you ran, straining your muscles as you extended your hand to catch it. Maybe the ability to actually use your fucking quirk would've been useful in this situation. Instead, you almost fell out the window before you grasped it by the edge. Then you pulled your body weight back inside, letting out a tired wheeze as if that was an athletic activity.
Bakugou seemed murderous, while Izuku was stunned, as if you had performed an impressive feat of acrobatics instead of almost dying while doing something extremely simple.
This would be the first time in years you've had Bakugou's direct attention. He stalked up to you with a nasty glare on his face, backing you until you hit the windowsill and it was clear he was about to beat your ass. Before he could get to that part, though, he felt a need to get some shit-talk out of the way. "Hah? So you are sentient after all, you stupid extra?"
Then, you dealt with the situation at hand in the best way possible.
You burped in his face and then continued examining him with a poker face.
Something akin to disgust arose in his expression. But instead of incinerating you on the spot, Bakugou settled for slapping the notebook out of your hold to sate his bloodlust in the meantime. With that, he and his company left, leaving you and Izuku to wallow in each other's awkward occupancy.
You crouched down, then after you grabbed hold of it for a second time, you offered it to him. Izuku took it from you with shaky fingers.
Your throat closed up because he looked like he was about to bawl his eyes out, and you were definitely not equipped to deal with that. You were sure whatever your insensitive ass had to say would've made things worse, anyway. Feeling of betrayal invaded your system again, as you realized how useless you had been, always watching on the sidelines as he got trampled on.
"Sorry," you said.
Sorry? Be for fucking real, you thought to yourself after the words made it out of your stupid, babbling mouth.
Izuku burst out in tears. You fiddled with the pockets of your uniform's blazer.
"Good luck on the entrance exam."
Izuku sniffled, wiping his snot with his sleeve. "Y-You too."
Sorry that I'm still trying to play hero, even though I'm not cut out for it.
You lived in the same neighborhood as Izuku and Bakugou. What you bore witness to was a complete accident.
You were innocently about to go on a walk after you napped a bit after school (since you needed to recuperate after you did something as exhausting as holding out your hand from a window). It came to your attention that Izuku was far ahead of you and Bakugou was strangely stomping in his direction. When you realized this, you started wondering if this was about to turn into a crime scene.
You kind of wanted to laugh at his strange way of walking, but your stomach clenched. What did he want again?
"DEKU!" he yelled like a banshee. "Listen up. I never asked you to save me. You- you didn't do anything! And don't you dare look down at me! I didn't, and won't ever need your help!"
???
Can he chill for a second? Why is he always yelling? Doesn't his throat hurt? Not to mention, you did not know what he was even blabbering about. Somehow, though, you got the feeling you would soon find out.
Having said his piece, whatever any of it meant, he turned around and started trudging on his way back. Your presence caught his eye, and he stared you down for a brief moment before he clicked his tongue and disappeared. You were channeling another burp, if you had to be honest, but couldn't muster the power for it in time.
Again, you found yourself face-to-face with Midoriya Izuku.
It was as if a dramatic anime moment was about to occur until All Might decided to appear out of thin air. "I am here!" he announced, mostly disregarding your presence, his entire focus on Izuku.
With this, you decided today's events were too much of a fever dream, and retreated to your house to take another nap.
You saw the story about the Sludge Villain on the news later that day, when you were mindlessly switching through the channels. What looked like a huge booger with eyes had trapped Bakugou, and now you understood that their conversation made perfect sense.
You turned off the TV, staring ahead emptily for a while with your lips settled into a thin line. So quirkless little Izuku can save someone, but even with my quirk, I can't?
Incompetent. A spectator, a side character in the story of someone else's demise, that's all you had been. Maybe what was delusional wasn't Izuku's desire to be a hero, but your hope that you had a chance of getting accepted into U.A. when you could barely use it, and when you could barely face your fears.
Cautiously, like you were tasting the waters for the first time in a while, you focused your attention on a nearby pen and tried lifting it with your telekinesis, moving the hand you had used to snatch Izuku's notebook.