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Chapter Text

It may have been snowing outside but inside the Rabbit Hole Belle was starting to sweat. It was Friday night and the bar was packed. By ten o’clock it was standing room only. The people of Storybrooke had nothing better to do this far into winter. Belle fidgeted with the microphone she was singing into. She started this gig back in November to make a little extra money for the holidays. Now it was March and she couldn’t bring herself to leave. She still worked at the library during the week but her weekends were dedicated to this place. As the winter went on she warmed up to the idea of this new persona; coming out of her shell. Tonight she had on a form fitted blue sequence dress and her curls framed her face. The bar paid well but it was the tips that kept Belle coming back. She had to split what money she made with Gaston, the gruff man that played the piano alongside her.

It had been a long week and Belle’s eyes scanned the crowd for a familiar face. Then all of a sudden, there he was. He was leaning against the corner of the bar with a Jack and coke in his hand. When their eyes met he raised his glass and smiled at her. Belle’s heart started racing and her smile filled her face. It wasn’t the first time he came to see her set but she got butterflies every time. At the end of her set she made her way through the crowd to where he was standing.

“Will!” She threw her arms around his neck. “I’m glad you made it.” He placed a kiss lightly on her cheek. They weren’t a couple but it was clear to Belle that something could come out of this.

“Of course, love. I wouldn’t miss it.” He slid his hand around her waist and pulled her closer. The heat from the palm of his hand pressed on the small of her back and she felt her knees begin to give. Behind them someone cleared their throat. That was enough to break the trance and Belle spun around on her heels. The owner of the bar was standing in front of her holding an envelope.

“Miss French.” He nodded an acknowledgement and she reached for the envelope. “We will see you tomorrow?” Belle took her pay and smiled up at the man. He smiled back and the light above the bar gleamed off the gold tooth set in his bottom jaw.

“Of course Mr. Gold.”

Belle spent most of the night draped over Will. It quickly became apparent to everyone else in the bar their feelings for each other. Belle kept her face tucked into his shoulder and he twirled the bottom of her curls. He made his way home shortly after midnight but she stayed. Around two in the morning Belle decided to head home too, she was tired and without Will the fun had quickly faded. The snow was about ankle deep now and she made a mental note to remember to bring better shoes to the bar tomorrow. As snow fell softly around her she pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders and shivered. The Rabbit Hole wasn’t far from her house and she didn’t mind walking, aside from the cold it was actually a beautiful night. Walking down the alley that ran beside the bar she stumbled across Mr. Gold’s black Cadillac, it was parked at the far end of the building. Belle ran her finger along its hood as she walked by, leaving a void in the snow. When she got home she changed into a night gown and pulled on a pair of fuzzy socks. Just as she climbed into bed her phone chimed.

[[Will]]: Make it home alright?

[[Belle]]: Safe and sound. Night night.

When Belle woke up on Saturday it was already after ten and she was going to be late. Scrambling out of bed she started the shower and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Black make-up smudge its way across her face and her hair was ridiculous. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed, but she had to get going. Once she was in the shower she washed away any evidence of the night before. Rummaging through the bottom of her closet she pulled on a pair of jeans and black boots. She tugged a white sweater down over her head and ruffled her curls; she didn’t have enough time to dry them. Angry red numbers above the stove flashed 11:17 AM as she few out the door. By the time she got to Granny’s it was already 11:30 and Ruby was sitting in their usual booth strumming her fingers on the table. She threw her arms up and contorted her face into a look Belle had learned to fear.

“What the hell!” Ruby slammed her hands down on the table as Belle slid into the booth.

“Sorry. Sorry!” Belle put her hands up in defense. The diner was full and her head was pounding enough without her friend’s shrill voice raised at her. “I was out late and forgot to set an alarm.”

“The Rabbit Hole again!? I thought you were done with that place.”

“I know Red. I know. The money is just really good and I think I’ve gotten much better at the whole singing thing and there’s…” Belle’s voice trailed off.

“And there’s Will.” Ruby finished for her. Belle blushed and looked up at her. The ice water in front of her started to drip and she run her finger up and down the glass. “I don’t like him Belle. Something about him just doesn’t sit right.” Belle let out an exaggerated sigh and before she could defend herself the waitress set down their brunch. Ruby was grateful she didn’t have to work weekends at the diner anymore and smiled up at her replacement. The smell of bacon wafting off of Ruby’s plate was making Belle nauseous but she started shoveling pancakes into her mouth before she started a fight. Ruby sighed and set her fork down.

“Listen Belle. I’m starting to worry about you.” Belle kept her eyes on her plate. “You haven’t been acting like yourself lately; hanging out at bars at all hours of the night, running around with this guy. You were half an hour late today, Belle! You’ve never been late a day in your life.” That was true and Belle rolled her eyes at the reminder. “Don’t look at me like that.” Ruby continued. “You know I’m right!”

“Maybe I’m just having fun for a change!” Belle raised her voice more than she intended and a few people in the diner turned to look. Embarrassment washed over her and she slouched down into the booth before continuing. “Ruby, I know you’re just looking out for me but this is something I need to do. I need to get out there and live those adventures that don’t exist in a book.” The rest of the meal went on in silence. When the girls stood to leave Ruby hugged Belle tight.

“Be safe kid.” She whispered in Belle’s ear and trudged out into the cold.

Chapter Text

The rest of the day went on as usual and at nine Belle walked into the Rabbit Hole. Her set on Saturdays started at ten and she usually finished around one in the morning. After a couple of encore songs Belle and Gaston finished later than expected. Every few minutes she checked her phone but Will hadn’t shown up so Belle started to gather her things to leave.

“Leaving already, Doll?” Gaston called from beside the stage. “Come on, stay and have a couple brews.” Belle smiled up at him as she wrapped the microphone up. The idea of hanging out at The Rabbit Hole without Will to hang on wasn’t appealing.

“I don’t think tonight is a good idea. I was out pretty late last night.”

“Well last nights in the past! Come on, just one?” Gaston let out that deep belly laugh that Belle knew well.

She giggled. “Alright, but just one.”

One drink turned into two and two turned into four and four has a way of turning into more and next thing Belle knew it was last call. She had been having such a good time drinking and laughing she hadn’t realized the bar was empty.

“Oh my gosh, Gaston!” Her voice slurred as she slapped him on the shoulder. “Gaston! Everyone is gone!” Her voice dropped into an attempted whisper, it wasn’t convincing. The bartender walked into the back room to restock her bar and they were left alone. Gaston placed the palm of his hand against Belle’s cheek. It was too big next to her face and the clamminess made her cringe.

“You are so hot.” Gaston breathed into her face, his voice was low and gravely. The giggle Belle managed was forced and uncomfortable.

“Wow, you’re skunked.” He let out that belly laugh again as she turned to stand from her barstool. He snatched her wrist and pulled her back into her seat. The force caused her to sober up quick.

“Learn how to take a compliment, Doll.” He gruffed as he ran his fingers through her curls. Eventually he hit snags and Belle winced as the curls tangled and he pulled.

“Gaston you’re drunk. Come on, I’ll call you a cab.” When she attempted to stand again he used the hand that was laced through her hair to slam her face onto the bar. The wood was cold against her flushed cheek but a puddle of warmth was trickling down from the crown of her head. Gaston brought his face low and close to hers.

“I’m not ready to go home yet, sweets. I’m just starting to have fun!” He ripped her up into a stand by her hair. The first thought that went through her head was “this can’t be happening” then Belle started screaming and flailing her arms. The back of her hand connected with his mouth and a small trickle of blood made its way down his chin. Gaston grunted and threw Belle to the ground and she slid across the floor and stopped next to the stage.

“Please! Someone help me, please! Gaston stop!” She wailed at the top of her lungs but no one came. Gaston gripped her wrist and pulled her to her feet. Pain radiated down her arm as the bones under his grip grinded together.

“Shut up, slut!” When he twisted her arm behind her back she cried out again. Dragging her onto the stage he shoved her up against the piano. “No one is here!” The smooth finish of the piano was pushed against her face. Belle started to cry, her tears creating a pool under her face.

“Please Gaston. You don’t have to do this.” Her voice wavered and it was barely loud enough to register. She lifted her face up and he palmed the back of her head like a basketball, slamming it back down on the piano so hard a few keys chimed. Uncontrollable sobs wracked through her body and shook her small frame. Belle could hear Gaston’s belt jingle as he unfastened it. Her breath hitched and she choked on a sob, sputtering small coughs across the piano. Suddenly his hand pushed up on her skirt and she felt him reach for her panties. Her eyes squeezed shut and she held her breath. The feeling of his fingers, rough and hastily pulling at her, made the hairs at the nape of her neck stand up. All of a sudden Belle heard something loud shatter and Gaston’s entire weight fell on top of her. She shrieked so hard she emptied her lungs. Gaston’s weight roll off of her and she heard a thud as he hit the floor. She was still screaming when someone lifted her up and wrapped their arms around her. Her first reaction was to try to wiggle free but they gently pressed her face to their chest.

“Shh, it’ll be alright. It’s all okay now. You’re safe.” A Scottish accent lulled her fears away and she calmed down enough to look up at her savior. Mr. Gold, the bars owner, was rocking her gently from side to side.

“Mr. Gold? I-I Um. I don’t know wha-” Mr. Gold cut her off.

“Shh. You don’t need to talk right now. Let’s get you a glass of water.” Slowly, he led her to the bar where the bartender was standing, white as a ghost.

“I-I was in the cooler. I’m sorry I di-” The bartender stammered out what words she could and Gold waved a hand at her. He eased Belle into a stool and she glanced over his shoulder to where Gaston was still laying on the ground. Blood was spilling out of the side of his face and a smashed bottle lay in pieces next to him.

“Here, Belle. Please drink.” Gold’s voice snapped Belle back to attention and her eyes locked onto his. Taking the glass from his hand she turned her stool to face the bar and caught her reflection in the mirror. The glass slipped from her hand and clattered onto the bar but she hardly noticed. Her makeup was running down her face and a patch of drying blood matted her hair down. All at once Belle started sobbing again. Instinctively Gold wrapped his arm around her shoulder and just held her as she shook. Flashes of what happened raced through Belle’s mind and she burrowed her face into Gold’s chest.

After a little while the police showed up and separated Mr. Gold and Belle to ask questions. While Gold didn’t have much to say to begin with, Belle wanted desperately to tell them what happened; she just couldn’t get the words out. The paramedics took Gaston away on a stretched, saying something about a concussion. As the last officer cleared out of the bar, Belle turned to find Gold sweeping up the glass from the smashed bottle he used to sedate Gaston.

“Shame, that was a great cognac.” He looked up at her and smiled weakly. For the first time tonight she let her eyes drift over him. He was wearing a black suit that fit him perfectly and a dark blue shirt underneath. He was putting most of his weight on the broomstick and Belle realized he was holding his cane.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Gold. I can reimburse you for any damages and for your time and I-” Gold cut her off again with a wave of his hand.

“Don’t you dare apologize. This is all that brooding beasts fault. Not yours.” Belle managed a small smile. The weight of the night rested firmly on her shoulders and even though she knew she wasn’t to blame, she felt part of it was her fault.

“Alright, well I’m going to head home now.” She turned toward the door with her shoulders hanging low. Gold propped the broom up against the piano and made his way off the stage.

“Let me give you a ride.” He reached on top of the bar for his cane and keys without breaking stride.

“Oh no, Mr. Gold, really. You’ve already done so much. I only live around the corner.” Honestly, she didn’t want to put the man out more than she already had.

“Don’t be foolish. You need a ride.” He pushed open the door, holding it open for her. She followed behind him out of the bar. The sun was starting to rise and it made the snow that had fallen that night sparkle. Belle found it ironic and couldn’t help but let out a low laugh.

“Go figure.” She mumbled under her breath.

“Sun always rises, even after the darkest nights, sweetheart.” His voice was knowing and she found comfort in that.

When she looked up he was holding open the passenger door of his Cadillac. She slid into the seat and rubbed her palms together before stuffing them under her thighs for warmth. She was grateful for the heat when Gold started the car. They rode in silence most of the way except for Belle’s occasional “turn left” or “right at the stop sign”. When they pulled up in front of her house Belle hesitated. It already felt like a lifetime ago that Gaston was on top of her and a cold sweat ran down her back.

“I haven’t said thank you yet. You saved me back there and I just... I don’t know how.” A soft sigh fell from her lips. “Thank you.”

“Of course Ms. French. And listen; don’t worry about your set tomorrow. You should rest for a few days. Take care of yourself.” She didn’t know what she was supposed to say so she opened the door. Sliding her legs out of the car she turned and looked over her shoulder.

“Thank you Mr. Gold.”

Chapter Text

When Belle woke up on Sunday it was already late afternoon and the setting sun washed her room in a golden glow. She groggily pushed her blanket over and sat up on the edge of her bed when she heard someone knock on the front door. After Gold dropped Belle off early this morning she took a long shower, trying desperately to rid her skin of what happened. Any sleep she could get was spent fighting away nightmares and eventually she gave up and turned on the TV. At some point she had sent Will a text, all it read was “Why weren’t you there last night?” If he had shown up to her set things would have gone differently. Blinking she swiped her finger across her screen to see five missed calls from Ruby, but no word from Will. When the knock echoed through her house again Belle pushed herself to her feet. Dragging her blanket with her she made her way down the hall and to the front door where Ruby’s face was peeking through the seer curtains. Belle lulled her head back with a sigh and unlocked the door. Ruby pushed in with such a force that it almost knocked Belle off her feet. Before Belle could get a word out Ruby wrapped her in a hug. Belle burrowed her face into her friend’s dark mane and let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“I’m so sorry Belle.” Ruby whispered into the back of Belle’s hair.

“Who told you?” The words were muffled by Ruby’s shoulder. The girl gently ran her hand up and down Belle’s back and turned her toward the living room. As they made their way toward the couch Ruby began explaining.

“Mary Margaret was telling me about it. Apparently her daughter was bartending last night.” Belle’s mind flashed to the blonde behind the bar. The memory of how ghost white she looked when Gold brought Belle to sit at the bar. “Do you want to talk about it?” Ruby eased Belle onto the couch. As soon as she was sitting Belle pulled her knees to her chest and cocooned herself in her blanket. It felt like the world was too bright coming through her windows. Today felt like the kind of day that should be dark and rainy but the sun shined anyway.

“There isn’t much to tell.” She inhaled sharply. “You were right. I was on a dangerous path and this is where it led.”

“No! Belle, no.” Ruby wrapped her arms around Belles shoulders. “I had no idea this was going to happen. And promise me you don’t think you led yourself to this.” Belle shrugged under Ruby’s weight. She didn’t blame herself, but she didn’t feel without fault. Ruby started quietly crying and pressed her face into the blanket Belle was wrapped in. Both women sat like that for a long time, the only sound breaking the silence was Ruby softly sobbing into Belle’s cocoon. By the time she came up for air the house was starting to get dark. She wiped her face on her sleeve and kissed Belle’s forehead. “Look at me. I’m crying like a toddler and you’re the one it happened to.” Belle leaned into her, missing the warmth where her body was.

“I don’t think I have any tears left to cry.” Belle whispered so quiet Ruby almost missed it. “I feel like I have no right to be this sad. Nothing actually happened. He didn-” she took a deep breath. “Mr. Gold stopped him before he could do anything.”

“You still have every right to be sad.”

Belle stood up, still entangled in her blanket and waddled to her bedroom. It was time for today to be over. Ruby stood in the doorway and watched her climb into bed and wriggle down into the sheets.

“Should I go?”

Belle shook her head and patted the bed beside her. Ruby smiled and kicked her shoes off. She climbed into bed and burrowed up to Belle.

 “I’m so sorry Belle.” Soon Belle could feel Ruby’s breathing even out, she knew how exhausting crying could be. She lay beside her, staring at the ceiling, chasing more nightmares away.

In the morning Ruby woke to the shower running. It took her a minute to realize where she was. The shower stopped and Ruby pulled herself into a sit.

“Belle?”

Belle poked her head out of the bathroom door. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“I have to open the library.” She slid back out of sight.

Ruby pulled herself out of bed and walked to the bathroom.

“You know you don’t have to do that.” Belle was sitting at the vanity wrapped in a towel pulling a brush through her hair. Her face reflected in the mirror and Ruby could see how drained she was.

“Yes Ruby, I do.”

“Someone else can take care of the library for a few days Belle.”

Belle set the brush down and looked up at her friend. The hollowness of the eyes looking up at her made her so uncomfortable Ruby didn’t know what to do with her hands. Before she could stop herself a huge laugh tumbled out of Belle’s mouth. She threw her hands over her lips but that hardly muffled the noise. Ruby’s face twisted into a question mark.

“Your.” She breathed. “HAIR!” The giggles spilled out again. Ruby looked up into the steamy mirror. Her dark brown locks had tangled on top of her head into a total mess. It looked like she had horns or perhaps dog ears. Soon she was laughing just as loud as Belle. After a while both girls regained composure and caught their breath and the house fell silent again. A small sparkle caught in Belle’s eyes but the look on her face was unsettling.

“I’m just hoping if I do the brave thing, then bravery will follow.” Ruby didn’t say a word, just wrapped Belle in her arms and hugged her tight. She walked back into the bedroom to gather her things and Belle went back to work on her hair.

The rest of the week went on fairly normal. The library was quiet and that was what Belle needed. The few people that did come in whispered and stared and Belle pretended not to notice. The nightmares still came when she was alone though. At night sobs wracked through her body until she couldn’t sleep. Ruby would stop by with food from the diner; check up on her. She was doing what she could to keep it together, and to her that was all that mattered. At some point midweek she decided to try texting Will again.

[[Belle]] How have you been?

She waited a long time before he answered.

[[Will]] Fine. But, listen I don’t think we should talk anymore.

[[Belle]] Really? Why is that?

[[Will]] Belle, people talk. I don’t need people thinking I was involved in anything that happened. You’re a sweet girl but I don’t need the drama.

[[Belle]] Drama? Are you serious? You’re such a coward that you’re worried about drama?

Belle crossed the line from annoyed to totally pissed off. This was not happening. She typed out the last text and tossed her phone into the passenger seat of her car.

[[Belle]] Don’t worry, I’m fine. Thanks for asking though.

Chapter Text

Belle wanted nothing more than to pretend none of this ever happened. That was why she was sitting at the Rabbit Hole on Friday night waiting for her set to start. She was halfway through her second glass of Rose’ when a hand squeezed her shoulder. Belle was so startled she knocked the wine glass over and it shattered on the bar. She spun around on her stool to see Gold taking a rag from the bartender.

“I didn’t mean to scare you Ms. French.” He soaked up the last of the wine and tossed the rag back to the bartender. “Would you mind coming with me to my office for a moment?” Belle was still clearly shaken but followed Gold to the back of the bar. He held open the door and Belle walked into a room she had never been in before. She sat down on a black leather chair opposite a large oak desk. Her nerves were still charged and she rubbed up and down the arms of the chair. Gold positioned himself behind the desk and folded his arms on top of it.

“What are you doing here?” Gold’s shoulders sagged and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in a week.

“My set is in twenty minutes. Don’t worry; I brought back up music of my own.” Gold let out a sigh and a tired smirk pulled at the corners of his lips. Belle could see the fine lines that formed there, years of making that same face.

“I booked another act for tonight, Belle.” Her eyes shot up to meet his. “I wanted to give you some time.” Belle pursed her lips and stared hard at him.

“I don’t need time. I’m fine.” Her tone was short and crisp.

“Yes, I could tell by the way you reacted at the bar.” Her eyes flooded with darkness and she dug her nails into the arm of the chair. Was he really being sarcastic?

“I am not a child Mr. Gold. When I tell you I am fine, that means I am fine.” Gold put his hands up defensively.

“I’m sorry Belle. I’m sorry. Listen, I just want to know that you’re alright.” Her body eased a bit. “I know you’re searching for some normality in all of this but the truth is there is nothing normal about what happened to you.” She slouched back into the chair in defeat. “You don’t need to be here tonight Belle.” Belle stood up and started toward the door. Before she opened it she turned back and looked at him.

“Do you think maybe-” she paused. “Maybe you could come over and have dinner? With me? Ruby keeps bringing over these casseroles, its more food than I could eat in three lifetimes.” She giggled softly and Gold smiled up at her.

“That sounds nice Ms. French.” He smiled again. “I have a few things to do around here. How about I meet you at your place in about an hour?” Belle smiled an honest smile and nodded at him. She walked out and shut the door behind her and he was left alone in his office. Gold ran a hand through his hair and let out a low sigh. He shook his mouse and waited as his computer came to life. He really did have work to do, but in all honesty he needed some time to compose himself.

Gold spent the hour pacing around his office and getting absolutely no work done. Something about Belle French twisted him up in all the worst ways. Ever since she walked in last year with his singers wanted flyer in her hand, he had been drawn to her. When she first auditioned in front of him, she was alone on the stage. She was clearly so nervous he worried she might cry. From that moment he sensed vulnerability in her. As the winter went on he saw her cover that vulnerability with short skirts and a strong affliction for alcohol. When he walked in on the incident last week he felt like he had broken some unspoken deal. How could he let something like that happen in his bar? How could he let something like that happen to Belle? He paced circles around his desk and ran his had repeatedly through his hair.
            After what felt like a lifetime he stopped and leaned against his desk. His old wound would not allow for this kind of anxiety and he rubbed at the scarred area just below his knee. Eventually he let out a sigh and sat back down. He wanted to scoop Belle up and protect her from the world. He wanted to smash Gaston’s hands to pieces. He knew there was darkness inside his own heart that would probably kill Gaston if he had the opportunity. His head shook at the thought, as if to physically shake it from his head. He glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall opposite his desk. It was time to get going so he pushed himself up from his seat and walked out to the bar.

“David, will you hand me a bottle of Zin?” He gestured at the bartender and waited as he fetched the wine. When he walked back he flashed a toothy smile and handed Gold the bottle. “I’ll be out for a little while but I’ll check in on you before close.” Another smile from the tall blonde.

“Not a problem. Enjoy your evening Mr. Gold!” Gold could understand why the local patrons began referring to the man as “Charming”. He walked out of the bar and rounded the corner to where his Cadillac was parked. Setting the wine down in the passenger seat he started the car. He sat there for a long moment, thinking about what had happened. Belle was vulnerable now more than ever and as bad as he wanted to be around her, the timing just didn’t feel right. Eventually his desires won out and he started through town toward her house. He parked across the street and walked up to Belle’s porch and knocked on the door. She pulled open the door and he hesitated, taking her in. All thoughts that weren’t about her, stopped. Her curls were pulled up into a messy bun, with one curl falling loose to frame her face. She was in a pair of dark jeans and a simple white t-shirt. Her barefooted toes wiggled on the hardwood floor. As his eyes made their way back up to her face he noticed she was smiling.

“I didn’t think you’d show.” She stepped to the side and he walked into the house.

“I always keep my word.” He reached forward and revealed the wine he was carrying behind his back. Belle’s smile lit up her face as she took the bottle from him.

“I hope you like lasagna. Ruby’s grandma makes the best!” She shut the door behind them and he followed his nose to the kitchen.

“That sounds lovely.” It didn’t, actually, but at this point he would have eaten a shoe if she asked him to.

“Please, sit. It should be just about ready.” She reached on her tippy toes to pull two wine glasses from the cupboard. A smirk crossed his face, she really was a tiny thing, wasn’t she?  She brought the glasses to the table as Gold sat down. She dug through a drawer and pulled out a corkscrew. Reaching for the bottle he stuck his other hand out for the corkscrew, he wanted to help.

“Allow me.” In a moment he had the bottle open and filled both of their glasses. Belle took a sip before reaching into the oven and pulling out their dinner.

“I’m glad you’re here Mr. Gold.” Her smile was small but it reached her eyes as she set the dish down on the table between them.

“Is that so?” He smirked at her as she sat down. Uncertainty flittered behind his eyes, he wasn’t sure that was true.

“It is. You know, you’re not as scary as people say you are.” She giggled as she served the both of them a healthy slice of lasagna. Sipping his wine he let out a real laugh. That was the reaction he expected, he was used to people fearing him, not asking him over for lasagna.

“Oh really? And how scary do people say I am?’ Belle blushed and looked down at her plate.

“You know what I mean. People talk.”

“Aye, that they do Ms. French.”

“Please, just Belle.” She smiled at him and he set his fork down. He tried desperately to find a direction to lead the conversation but realized he didn’t know anything about this girl. “So Mr. Gold, how long have you owned The Rabbit Hole?” Gold thanked the gods for the question.

“A very long time.” He was well aware of how old he was getting and would rather not admit that in front of Belle. “I left my home in Glasgow as a young man. After a life spent scouring the Earth I ended up in Storybrooke. I procured The Rabbit Hole in a deal shortly after.” His eyes glossed over as he thought about the time he spent searching the Earth. How many places had he traveled in hopes of finding his son?

“Mr. Gold?” Her voice broke through his train of thought and he was grateful. His mind didn’t need to travel there tonight.

“I’m sorry?” His eyes went wide and she giggled.

“I asked why you left Glasgow.” She smiled sweetly and he couldn’t help but return the gesture.

“Ah, there was nothing left for me there.” She cocked her head to the side and he could feel the question in her eyes. He didn’t want to talk about himself anymore though; his life was an exhausting story. “Have you lived in Storybrooke your whole life?” She hummed in response. When she looked up to answer him she had a bit of sauce on her chin; it was adorable. He couldn’t help but smile when he was around her.

“Actually I was born in Sydney. When my mother passed away my father decided we needed a change. That’s how I ended up here.” She smiled again but it was smaller and Gold realized she was hurting; he could see pain there. It made him want to save her, to protect her from ever feeling pain again. His desires must have manifested on his face because when he looked back at her she was flushed. “Please don’t pity me Mr. Gold.” Her nose scrunched in an attempt to stay strong; even that made him smile. “I’ve had a good life; a happy life. I don’t want anyone to think less of me because of the things I have been through.”  He took a long sip of wine as he processed this. His eyes never left hers. There were shadows dancing there that he never noticed before and he wondered where they originated. In that instant he realized, maybe her life was an exhausting story too.

“What was your favorite part of your childhood, Belle?” He didn’t like seeing her distraught and was satisfied to see his question bring the light back to her eyes. Tiny flecks of light reflected off her fork as she pushed food around her plate. He noticed she hadn’t eaten much and wondered if that had become normal. When she looked back up at him there was a childlike quality to her face and he could tell her mind travelled back in time.

“We used to vacation in Greece, when I was little. We would spend a few weeks there at a time, it was lovely. I’d wake up at the crack of dawn, the warm wind touching my skin. Then, eyes still half-closed, I’d shrug into my dress and tiptoe outside. My feet in the sand and being kissed awake by the salty air. I’d watch dolphin schools pass by every morning without fail.” Her smile grew larger the more she spoke. He couldn’t help but be fascinated by her and now she seemed so alive. He finished the last bit of his dinner and listened intently as she told him all about her childhood. She spoke with the stories clearly written on her face as if they were still happening, in this very moment.

“I’m sorry, I am rambling.” Her cheeks flushed at the realization and she stood quickly, reaching for his plate. He rapidly pulled his own plate out of her reach and pushed his chair back. He followed behind her into the kitchen and placed his plate beside hers in the sink. She smiled sideways up at him and he felt the warmth radiating off her body.

“Thank you for coming Mr. Gold.” He hadn’t realized how close he was standing to her until she spoke. He was so captivated by her that he could do nothing but stare. After a moment he reached up to brush a curl that had fallen into her face back behind her ear. She flinches as his fingers brushed her cheek and he immediately dropped his hand to his side. When she looked up at him there were tears in her eyes, threatening to spill down her face. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to pull her in tight, but decided it better not to. He clenched his hands into fist by his side as she brushed the back of her hand across her face.

“I still feel him sometimes.” Her voice was low and smooth, it sent a shiver down his back he didn’t like one bit.

“I’m sorry Belle.” He sighed. “I should go.” He turned to leave but her voice stopped him.

“Please don’t.” Her voice sounded so small. He turned back to face her and saw a river of tears rushing down her face. This time he couldn’t fight the need to hold her and when he reached for her she collapsed onto his chest. Heavy sobs shook her small frame. He brought his hand up and placed his palm against the back of her head. He could still feel the welt from where her head hit the bar. Belle wrapped her arms up over his shoulders and she cried. His free hand gently rubbed up and down her spine as her cries started to slow. She pulled away from him; slowly peeling herself off his chest. When she looked up at him his heart broke. Her eyes were red and her cheeks tear stained.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Gold.” She sniffled. “I wish I were stronger.” He stood with his hands by his side, not speaking. Furrowing his brow he looked into her eyes, those shadows he noticed earlier were turning her blue eyes grey. Rage lit up the back of his mind and suddenly he was furious. Heat raced through his body to his fingertips and suddenly he couldn’t stand still. He spun around on his heels and marched into the dining room. He snatched his cane from beside the table and trudged toward the door.

“Mr. Gold?” Belle’s voice drifted over him but he didn’t slow his pace.

“I need to go.” He walked out the door and closed it firmly behind him. He didn’t look back.

Chapter Text

He checked his watch as he slid behind the wheel of his Cadillac. It was almost ten; perfect. He peeled away from the curb and barreled into town. Images of Belle’s tear stained face flashed behind his eyes and fueled the rage burning inside him. The fine hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he slammed harder on the accelerator. When he pulled up to The Bad Apple, the only other bar in town, his entire body was fuming. The Bad Apple was a hole in the wall joint, hardly competition and when he swung open the door, less than a dozen faces turned to meet him.

“Gaston!” Gold’s body shook as his voice echoed through the room. From the bar the large man stood and took several steps in his direction. Before he had time to think Gold crossed the room. His fist connected with Gaston’s nose and the man stumbled back, knocking his barstool over. When he regained his balance and looked down a crimson river flowed from his nose. Gaston reeled back to swing but Gold quickly brought his cane up and it smashed squarely between the man’s legs. Gaston doubled over and fell to the floor. All Gold could see was red and he snapped; driving the gold plated handle of his cane into Gaston’s rib cage over and over.

“She trusted you! You had her love! And it’s your fault, not mine! This is your fault!” Gold shouted, each time bringing his cane down harder on the man’s torso. “It’s your fault. It’s your fault!” In a split second Gold was on the ground and he could feel moisture pooling above his eye. Leroy, a short stocky man that had previously been thrown out of The Rabbit Hole, tackled Gold to the ground.

“You need to leave.” The man stood up off him and threw his cane down beside his head. Gold inhaled sharply as he went to stand, leaning the entirety of his weight on his cane. He glanced behind Leroy to Gaston, lying on the ground; blood was rushing from his face. Gold was still furious but decided I best not to test his luck. He left the bar and decided to head back to The Rabbit Hole to check in on David. When he got there the bar was in full swing. Belle’s replacement act was doing a decent job and waves of girls were swooning over his guyliner and leather pants. When Gold walked up to the bar David’s signature smile dissipated and his eyes widened.

“What happened to you?” Instinctively Gold reached up to where his head was throbbing and pressed two fingers to his eyebrow. When he brought them down bright red blood spotted his fingertips. He winced at the sight of it.

“Ah, just thought I’d get to know the floor a bit better.” He forced a smile. “Can I get a cognac, neat?” David rushed away and returned with his drink and a damp rag. Gold took them both and tipped his glass at David. “Thank you. I’ll be in the office if you need anything.” He stumbled to the back room. Deciding to leave the lights off he slumped into his chair. With the rag pressed to his face he threw back the cognac in one shot. A thought crossed his mind and he fished his phone out of his pocket, one message lighting up his screen. It was from Belle and all it said was “I’m sorry”. He let out a low groan and tossed his phone across the desk. Something about this girl messed him up inside. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. All he could see were those blue eyes filled with hurt and he knew he had already lost.

Belle fell asleep on the couch watching Hell’s Kitchen. She woke up Saturday morning to Ruby pressing a coffee cup into her hand. After their sleepover last week Belle decided Ruby needed her own key. Now she was second guessing that decision.

“Ruby what are you doing here?” Belle rubbed her eyes and sipped the coffee.

“I brought donuts!” She lifted a white paper bag and deposited it into Belle’s lap. Belle raised an eyebrow as she pulled a chocolate iced donut out of the bag. “Okay, okay. I had ulterior motives.” Ruby plopped down on the couch and reached into the bag for the other donut. “Did you hear what happened?” Belle stuffed a bite of donut in her mouth and shook her head. “Oh gosh! Okay, so Astrid came into the diner this morning talking about a fight that Leroy had to break up last night at The Bad Apple.” Belle listened intently and Ruby continued. “She said Mr. Gold came out of nowhere and beat the snot out of Gaston!” Belle’s jaw dropped open and she went white as a sheet. Ruby reached over and rubbed her shoulder. “Hey, you alright?” Belle turned to face her.

“I need my phone.” Her tone was even and cool and it maybe Ruby uncomfortable.

“Um, sure okay.” Ruby stood up and looked around. She saw the phone sitting on the dining room table next to the two glasses and half empty bottle of wine for the night before. She grabbed the phone and went back to the couch. “Is everything alright, sweetie?” Belle snatched the phone and quickly typed up a text message. “We need to talk” was all it said. She set her phone down and looked at Ruby.

“I need to tell you something.” Ruby sat down and Belle proceeded to tell her everything that happened the previous night. When she finished Ruby stared at her.

“He did that for you?” He tone wasn’t accusatory, just confused. Belle nodded, she felt so tiny in that moment. Right then her phone chimed and she flicked on the screen. “Is that him?” Belle nodded. “What did he say?”

“He wants me to meet him at The Rabbit Hole.” Belle never took her eyes off the screen.

“Now?” Belle nodded again. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, I’ll be alright.” A moment passed in silence. “I should change.” Ruby stood and they said their goodbyes. Belle changed into a pair of jeans and a black sweater, not feeling like doing anything to her hair. She pulled her coat around her shoulders and headed out to the bar. It was starting to warm up, but small patches of snow still dotted her lawn. It only took her a few minutes to get to The Rabbit Hole and she hesitated outside. She went to pull the front door open but it wouldn’t budge. Knocking firmly on the large brass door she stepped back. She could hear the tumblers turn as the door unlocked and darkness enveloped her as she walked inside. Once her eyes adjusted she realized how different The Rabbit Hole looked during the day. All of the stools were up on the bar and the only sound was Gold’s cane clacking along the floor. He kept his back to her as he crossed the room to the bar and pulled down two stools. He went behind the bar and picked up a glass. He finally looked up at her and she could see the dried blood and beginning of a bruise on his brow.

“Can I get you anything?” He lifted the glass in her direction.

“It’s eight thirty in the morning.” Gold shrugged and poured himself a glass. Belle watched as he came back around the bar. She noticed he was still wearing the same suit from last night, just without the jacket. He looked disheveled and unkempt, which wasn’t like him and Belle wondered if he slept here. He pulled himself onto the stool beside her and set his drink down.

“You didn’t have to do that.” She was upset but did her best not to show it. He could have gotten hurt.

“Someone needed to.” He picked up his glass and rolled it between his hands to warm the liquor. He still wouldn’t look at her and she was growing annoyed with him.

“Why did you do it?” He shrugged, keeping his eyes down. She pushed at the edge of his stool until it spun and he faced her. He still wouldn’t look up so she set a hand on either side of his face and lifted until he was looking her in the eye. “Why did you do it?” Something in his eyes changed. Before they were tired and glossed over now they were dark and hungry.

“He hurt you!” He pushed her hands away and stood up. He paced the length of the bar before continuing. “He took your piece of mind! He took your trust and he hurt you!” His voice echoed off the walls of the empty room. Belle just watched him as he paced, seeing the fire burn in his belly. “What was I supposed to do?” He threw his hands up and Belle worried her bottom lip with her teeth as the tantrum continued. “I should have done something then, that very night. But all I could think about was you. Keeping you safe, holding you. All I wanted-” He stopped, realizing what he said. He spun on his heels to face her. Her mouth was slightly agape and her eyes were as big as saucers. “I didn’t mean. I just. I don’t.” He stumbled over the words.

“Gold don’t.” She put her hands up and shook her head. It was all too much to take in at once. Gold liked her? She thought about all the times she had admired him from across the bar. She thought about how raw she had felt auditioning for him that first night. Suddenly feelings rushed her head and it started pounding. “STOP PACING!” Gold froze and Belle turned and faced the bar. He quietly walked over and sat beside her. She pressed her forehead to the edge of the bar. “I don’t want you to think I am damaged goods because I flinch when you touch me.” He went to interrupt her but she put her hand up. “Let me finish.” HE sat back and listened. She straightened up and lifted herself back into her stool. “I feel like I have been apologizing for everything I have done in the last week. I feel broken. I feel delicate. But you make me feel strong. You make me feel protected. I’m glad I have you in my corner.” She paused and leaned back. “I like being around you Gold.” His eyes lit up and she smiled. “I had a really good time at dinner last night. It really upset me that you ended that early so you could, what? Defend my honor?” She paused. “Tell me you can be around me without treating me like a chipped tea cup; like the smallest move might shatter me.”

“Belle.” He folded and unfolded his hands in his lap. “I never wanted you to feel like damaged goods.” He sighed and sat up straighter on his stool. “I never want you to hurt again, by my hand or anyone else’s. I wanted to, I don’t know, save you. I wanted to be the white knight coming down and saving the princess.” He lowered his head.

“I never wanted you to save me.” Her voice was gentle. “I wanted you to hold my hand as I saved myself.” She reached over and laid her hand on top of his. His head shot up and he looked her square in the eye.

“Belle, I fell in love with you the very first time you stepped up on that stage.” His voice wavered but he continued. “When I saw him, on you, I lost it. All I saw was red. And last night when you stopped crying it happened again. I was so angry that someone hurt you. That I let someone hurt you.” He closed his eyes and tried not to get angry again. Belle smoothed her thumb over his hand and it visibly calmed him.

“It’s been a very long time since someone has cared about me this much.” She took a deep breath and leaned closer; her face only inches from his. “I don’t want you to think I care about you any less, but this darkness is difficult to see.” He dropped his face lower, removing his hands from under hers.

“I know. I would never hurt you Belle.”

“This isn’t about me though. I don’t want you hurting anyone.”

“For you.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I can try.”

They sat like that for a long moment. Their foreheads pushed together as they breathed each other in. Belle didn’t know what this feeling was. It was almost a sense of safety; a sense of calm. When she finally pulled away to look at him, tears were forming in his eyes. She looked at him as a tear slid down his cheek. She swiped it away with the pad of her thumb and smiled at him. She didn’t know what this was, but she was happy and that mattered the most.

“Let’s go get some food. Granny’s has the best pancakes you’ve ever eaten!” His smile barely curled his lips but it was something. She threaded her fingers through his. She pulled him up off his stool and they ventured out of the bar. A light snow was falling, most of the flakes melting before they made it to the ground. Belle smiled up at the sky as snowflakes kissed her cheek. She turned and looked at Gold, his eyes were bright and his smile was warm. He genuinely looked happy.

“The sun always rises even after the darkest night.” Her voice landed like a song on his ears and he stepped closer, want to be near her. They walked to Granny’s in quiet, smiling at each other the entire time. When they got to the diner they ordered two tall stacks of blueberry pancakes. People couldn’t help but stare, but they hardly noticed. Belle and Gold shared stories about their pasts, reminiscing and giggling. He held her hand across the table, sipping his coffee and watching her laugh. All of a sudden David, the “charming” bartender from The Rabbit Hole came rushing through the door of the diner.

“Mr. Gold!” David shouted from the doorway before scrambling over to the booth they were sitting in. Now everyone was certainly staring and Mr. Gold noticed.

“Mr. Nolan, I assure you, if someone is not dying, I do not care.” He never took his eyes off of Belle to acknowledge the man. David began to speak when he noticed Belle’s hand wrapped in Gold’s he stuttered.

“I uh- I mean.” He shook his head trying to refocus. “The Rabbit Hole!” Gold looked up at him. “It’s on fire.” In an instant Gold was standing. He could see the urgency in David’s eyes and turned to Belle.

“Stay here.” He barked at her while throwing cash on the table. He followed David out of the diner and they proceeded to The Rabbit Hole as fast as Gold’s leg would allow.

Chapter Text

He could smell the fire before he could see it. Musky and dry the scent wafted over him. He saw the flames before he came around the corner, angry red flames licked at the grey sky and black smoke pillowed towards them. Gold swore heavily as he walked closer to the building. Just as he reached the front door a fire engine came screeching to a stop across the street. Several firefighters jumped out and got to work hooking up hoses while the fire chief made his way up to Gold.

            “Gold!” Gold froze but didn’t turn around. “Gold don’t you dare open that door! That is unless you and Mr. Nolan plan on being barbequed.”

            “Mr. Spencer, this is my bar and I will be damned if I watch it burn to the ground in front of me.” He turned to face the man and narrowed his eyes. Gold recalled a time when Albert Spencer had been the one requiring his help. A long time ago Albert’s son was in a bad place and the man came to Gold for assistance. He realized in that moment how much older the fire chief looked now. His hair was completely grey and his face was worn. Gold ignored the stern look on the man’s face and turned back to his bar. He reached for the door when a hand landed on his shoulder. When he turned around rage burned in his eyes. As soon as he saw Belle’s face the fire inside him died.

            “Belle.” He wrapped his arms around her. “I asked you to stay at Granny’s.” Worry flooded his eyes as he realized how close she was to the blaze. He started her across the street.

            “Actually, you told me to stay. But I was worried about you.” They sat down on the curb opposite The Rabbit Hole and a small crowd formed behind them. People chattered and whispered just out of range. Gold wrapped one arm around Belle’s shoulder, pulling her close. They sat n silence watching as the firefighters fought to put out the flames. The battle was long and slow as Gold watched his bar burn, the liquor inside acting as fuel.

            It was early evening before they finally got the flames down to a smolder. The crowd diminished hours ago and Belle and Gold sat staring on the curb. What was left of The Rabbit Hole was nothing more than dilapidated walls and soot. Belle watched as ashes drifted to the ground mixing with the tiny bit of snow left. Little black rivers ran in every direction away from The Rabbit Hole. Fire chief Spencer pulled off his helmet as he walked up to Gold and Belle, still sitting on the curb.

            “There was so much damage it was hard to find a point of origin. I’m not sure I can tell you what happened here.” Gold stood up slow, leaning his weight on his cane.

            “I can tell you exactly what happened here!” The fire burned in Gold’s eyes again and Belle was quickly on her feet. She pushed one hand to Gold’s chest and the other reached out to shake the fire chief’s hand.

            “Thank you sir, for all your help.” The man gave them both a questioning look and headed off to round up his men. Belle turned to face Gold, his body was tense under her hand and she drummed her fingers across his chest.

“Gaston did this!”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. And when I find him he will wish I had killed him last night.” Belle reached up and ran her hand through his hair resting her palm on the back of his neck.

“You can’t let the darkness win.” Gold could already feel his anger waning. In less than 24 hours his life had been turned upside down and he didn’t know where he was supposed to go from here. None of that mattered right now, even though every fiber of his being was telling him Gaston had to pay, he told Belle he could be better than that, and he would.

            “I think I want to go home now.” Suddenly he was exhausted. His body felt heavy and he leaned on Belle for support. He rested his forehead on her shoulder and shut his eyes.

            “Then let’s get you home.” She led him down the side street where his car was parked. “Let me drive.” He slid into the passenger seat and handed his keys over to her. Belle didn’t need directions; everyone in town knew about Gold’s Victorian home. She remembered thinking it looked like a castle the first time she saw it. It was bigger than most homes in town and painted a deep sunset pink. Two large lilac trees stretched across the walk and draped over the front yard. Belle pulled the Cadillac into the drive and came around to open Gold’s door for him. He leaned into her shoulder as she helped him up the walk.

            “Everything is going to be alright.” She didn’t know if that was true but she had never wanted it more.

            “Coming from you, Dearie, I might actually believe that.” As they passed under the trees Gold looked up to see a single purple flower hanging prominently from an otherwise barren branch. His trees only bloomed at the start of spring, once all the snow had been long but gone. He smiled like a child at the flower and a feeling he didn’t recognize rushed through his body. His bar was gone, but money could rebuild it. His heart didn’t feel quite so heavy in that moment. From the ashes of this winter, a beautiful spring would bloom. Belle looked over to see him smiling at the flower and it warmed her. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and giggled when he blushed.

            “What?” He looked so small in that moment, smiling up at the tiniest lilac flower. She turned her head to look too.

            “The sun always rises even after the darkest night.”