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Chapter Text

Donnie huffed, pulling himself off the ground as he watched Mikey throwing a whole-ass cargo boat at the shredder. He took the moment of distraction to press the release on his battle shell, allowing the slashed tech to fall to the ground. he looked at the marvel sadly, knowing that repairing it would probably take more effort than just modifying one of his spares to have the flying capability. until then, he'd probably have to rely on his spider shell and his jetpack shell. 

a terrifying thought pierced his already racing mind; he was completely exposed while they were still fighting the shredder. 

He found himself acutely aware of his surroundings suddenly, able to watch as the shredder disappeared among the fireworks over the bay. Mikey and Raph headed back his way slowly, slumping their shoulders, exhausted. April came from the other way after hopping out of the crane she'd used. that relieved the shredder part of his worries, at least for the next 15 minutes.

He fiddled with the tech around his wrist, planning on calling a different shell to him before shreddy (as Leo called it) reappeared. 

"Donnie!" Raph called, less enthusiastic than usual. "where do you think that thing is going to show up next?"

Donnie finished his retrieval command and looked at his largest brother. the snapping turtle was half-bent at the waist, his usually wide eyes narrowed from fatigue. Mikey, beside him, leaned slightly against Raph's shell, looking almost asleep as his weapon dragged behind him. 

As if things couldn't get any worse, it started pouring rain and Donnie shivered, feeling the water droplets run down his sensitive shell. 

Donnie sighed, he didn't know how much longer they could do this. when were Leo and Dad getting back? What could possibly be taking so long? With Leo's luck, the dum dum probably talked his way straight to Big Mamas' battle nexus as a bumbling clown. 

Donnie once again turned his attention to the screen and started inputting the previous locations where Shredder had shown up, so he could make an informed prediction on where it would show up next. without saying a word, he pointed toward the direction and started the long haul, his brothers and best friend trailing behind him. 

April jogged lightly to catch up and walked beside Donnie, whispering to him. "hey dee? you know you don't have your battle shell, right?"

he nodded. "I have a replacement on its way, don't worry."

she smiled slightly, making him feel slightly more energized. he enjoyed April's endless energy and how easily she could lighten his mood. 

as they got closer to the location, there was still no sign of the new shell, and Donnie assumed it had to change course to catch up with him. he couldn't pull up the tracking on it while he was tracking his own location. 

so he would have to wait till they got to their final destination.

he would have to wait, letting the rain chill his already cold-blooded skin. 

he would have to wait and see if the new shell would get there within the next 7 minutes because that was how much time they had left.

Donnie shivered, attempting to take deep breaths to calm his nerves and warm himself. he crossed his arms, rubbing his hands over his forearms. the friction and speed of the rubbing could produce heat according to the laws of science. 

He looked into the alley and slowed. this was it, the location they needed to wait at. 

he heard a groan or two from his two brothers as they passed by him, crouching together in a semi-circle, April joining them. Donnie took a moment to check on where the shell was and a shiver ran down his spine, though this time it was unrelated to the rain.

he hadn't sent the signal to the shell.

how could he have been so stupid? A mistake like that could literally cost him his life. he glanced up at his huddled family as Mikey laid his head against raph, closing his eyes for as long as time would allow. Raph pulled his knees to his chest, putting an arm around the box turtle and staring at the ground. he was stressed, that much was obvious, even to Donnie. Donnie briefly wanted to tell his brothers about his mistake, but he stopped. he was supposed to be able to take care of himself. He couldn't have his brothers worrying about him when the fate of the world was already riding on their shoulders. 

so he sent the signal and hoped the shell would arrive before their enemy returned, then went and sat with his family. the mod across the three terrapins and the human was somber and fragile. Donnie hated it. silence meant observation and observation meant his brothers could realize that something was wrong. 

"According to the coordinates X, Y, Z, and D, for Donnie, axis, I have predicted that this," Donnie put a finger in the air "Is the spot of our final resting place."

He felt the mood drop even more and decided to quickly backtrack.

"I mean, go team!" He was too tired to try to sound convincing, but he hoped the comment would raise their spirits a bit more coming from him.

Then Leo returned.

Leo encouraged the team better than Donnie could have, then all chaos broke loose. The shredder reappeared and panic settled in Donnie. where was his shell?

Mikey got the shredder's attention as Donnie gripped his staff, ready to throw his hanky as soon as he had a clear shot at the beast. 

That moment never came, as the shredder grabbed the flaming ball and pulled Mikey, causing him to go flying into a nearby wall.

"Mikey!" Raph shouted, punching his tonfas together so he could create his larger astral form. 

Donnie heard a whoosh and looked up to see his spider shell cresting over the top of shredders head. Finally!

before it could reach Donnie, though, the shredder caught sight of it and its wiggling arms and reached out to grab it. Donnie internally panicked again as his precious creation found itself clenched in the enemy's hand. Raph used his astral form to punch the beast square in the face, throwing it back as Leo turned to shout at Donnie.

"your shell!" he stated the obvious.

"I had no idea," Donnie replied sarcastically, gripping his bo staff and running to follow raph and the battle. Leo followed, clutching the mystic collar to his chest. 

Mikey also got back up and followed intently beside Leo.

Raph continued bashing the metal-bound demon as the three smaller turtles ran up behind him. there was no time to worry about his shell at that moment. if they could get the collar on without any issues, then it wouldn't have to become an issue. 

so, as the Shredder attempted to get up again, Donnie ran past, using his staff to fling the white fabric at his eyes. he predicted the beast didn't have a mind enough to react in a different way than before. 

he miscalculated.

the claws tore through the fabric before they reached his face and all Donnie saw were two metal flashes, on each side behind him. That's all his peripheral vision made out before he was launched forward, into the side of one of the buildings they were squeezed between. he fell to the ground, rolling over once, and gasping. rockets of pain shot across his back briefly, then nothing, as he took a deep breath, sitting on his knees with his arms holding him up. 

He looked up and saw Raph once again find the shredder tickle spot and Leo jumping over the beast, placing the collar around its neck.

Donnie held his breath as the ominous glowing eyes faded and the armor fell to the ground, lifelessly. 

Big Mama came, and took the thing away, as the rest of his family collapsed, Splinter gathered them together to go home. only after the spider yokai's portal closed did Splinter spot Donatello.

"Purple! Come on!" his father called to him. Donnie knew that, but there were two thoughts drowning out all other sounds.

Don't move.

Something is wrong.

"Purple?" the sound of the rats' voice seemed farther away now as if Donnie was being left behind. 

You're going into shock.

Well, that's not good.

Then he felt it again, more gradual this time, starting with a dull ache in his back, but progressing quickly to a terrible stabbing pain spreading across his skin and shell.

That's not good at all...

Donnie heard his name being called again, but this time, it felt so far away that he doubted anyone could've reached him in time.

that, or he was losing consciousness. 

"Donatello!"

Chapter Text

"Donatello!" 

Splinter's voice made Leo's heart sink. he felt like the world was moving in slow motion as his purple-banded brother fell forward without another word. none of them had been close enough to catch his fall, as they untangled themselves from their exhausted heap.

Leo got to him first, skidding to a halt as he noticed his brother's shell. 

he turned his head as quickly as he could and flapped his hands, looking at Mikey a moment, before looking back at Raph. Raph got the message quickly.

Don't let Mikey see.

Raph turned and scooped Mikey up, running back to Splinter despite Mikey's loud protests. Leo took a deep breath, returning to Donnie's side. he internally wished he was in Mikey's shoes, unable to see the damage across his brother's leathery carapace. 

the three gashes were barely apparent past all the blood, as it mixed with the rain and down the sides of Donnie's torso. Leo first took another deep breath, holding it as he pressed his fingers to Donnie's throat, careful not to jostle him.

barely a second passed before his pulse was felt, which was a huge relief to Leo as he released the air held in his lungs. He thought for a second, only allowing himself that much time to do so. he needed to act, and fast. 

Pressure on the wound, treat it, patch it up, maybe a blood transfusion, then painkillers.

lots of painkillers.

"April! I need your help." Leo called out for his friend and she was almost instantly at his side. her face scrunched up at the sight of his younger twin. "I need your jacket."

she handed it to him without hesitation and Leo pressed it to Donnie's shell. he asked her to hold it and apply pressure. 

a small whimper came from the unconscious turtle as his face scrunched up.

Leo winced at the sound. He knew it had to be painful, but he needed to get Donnie back to the lair first, and he wasn't even sure if it was safe to move him like this. Leo stood, climbing out of the jumpsuit that he had designed for his battle nexus fight. he tore the fabric into long strips, working around where April was holding to tie the jacket onto his brother's back. "Mikey?"

"Splinter took him home. he's giving him the task of making a nest of pillows." April replied, and Leo could hear her voice shaking. 

"good." Leo tied off the last of the strips of fabric, leaning back a bit, hoping his rough patch job would hold up. "We need Raph to carry him. I can make a portal."

April nodded, and rose to her feet, running over to Raph.

Leo watched Donnies face as it twitched a bit, the edges of his lips drawing back in pain. 

lots and lots of painkillers.

Leo, Raph, and Donnie all knew that Donnie's soft shell was his weak spot, that and beach balls. they tried to adapt, tying sizeable items to his back to protect him since he was young. he started with a sponge as a tot, only taking it off to sleep or relax, then they upgraded to a pillow, and once he had almost outgrown that, the family started to figure out what to use next.

that was when Donnie built his first battle shell. 

It had been an ugly metal color, was uneven on the sides, and was heavy enough to knock Donnie on his ass sometimes. 

but just like before, they adapted. Donnie's newer versions of the shell became sleeker, stronger, and more lightweight, and eventually, he started adding features to the shells to help in his training and fighting style. 

Why had he taken it off? 

Why hadn't Leo been quicker, not worrying as much about the dumb costumes or one-liners? 

maybe if he'd been there sooner...

"Leo." Raph's voice snapped Leo out of his stunned stupor quickly and he looked up at the big snapper. in the rain, Raph couldn't tell that Leo was crying. "what do you need me to do?"

"I need you to carry him through a portal to the lair." Leo retrieved his train of thought and re-railed it. he needed to do this perfectly, every step of the way. He needed to hurt Donnie as little as possible in the process because he had no idea how bad the damage already was, or how much worse it could get.

that was wrong, he knew exactly how much worse it could get.

Leo shook his head. "But we need to be careful." He carefully held Donnie's midsection as Raph picked him up, keeping him mostly on his stomach. Leo carefully twisted Donnie slightly, so that Raphs plastron was adding pressure to the jacket. Donnie groaned quietly but made no other sounds. Raph was breathing very lightly as if he was scared Donnie would blow away if he exhaled too roughly. 

Leo picked up his Odachi from where he had dropped it earlier out of his exhausted collapse. he went back over to Raph. he wanted Raph to move with Donnie as little as possible. Leo made a portal, directing it straight into the medbay at the lair. Raph stepped through, keeping his movements fluid, and April and Leo followed, the portal closing behind them. 

Leo took charge, he had to. he hadn't spent months going through every medical website, video, and book he could get his three-fingered hands on for nothing. "Raph, let me help you set him down on the table." Leo swiped all the miscellaneous items from the steel-topped table and wiped it over quickly with antiseptic. he helped Raph lower Donnie onto the cold metal, and continued, his brain running full speed ahead. "April, I need towels and warm water. also, see what the strongest painkiller you can find is." She nodded and exited the medbay. Leo turned his attention to his older brother as Raph picked at his fingernails, staring at Donnie with wide eyes. 

"Raph," Leo felt a bit of pain at the expression that Raph had directed at him when he got his attention. "can you grab all my stuff from the cabinet." He pointed his thumb toward the large wooden doors lined along the wall. Raph hesitated, but nodded, going over to follow his younger brother's request. 

Leo looked down at the haphazard bandaging job and started carefully untying the strips holding it on carefully, making sure not to remove the rain and blood-soaked jacket just yet. 

April came back in with a large Mixing bowl of water and Splinter followed her, holding as many towels as his small form could hold. April set her supplies down and moved to the other side of the table, one hand wrapping around Donnie's. she looked up at Leo expectantly. 

Leo got to work, doing the best he could to carefully clean the wounds. they were deep, that was for sure. Leo had to do some inspecting to make sure that none of Donnie's insides were damaged. the scratches seemed to just barely scratch some of his ribs, and Leo couldn't hold back a shudder. he could see his brother's RIBS. nothing else was hurt inside, and no veins were sliced. 

so why was there still so much BLOOD?

Leo felt his chest ache as he sanitized a needle and some thread, asking April to make sure that Donnie didn't move. He tried to push the ache down, noticing that it was slightly impairing his breathing. he needed to calm down before he even thought of putting a needle through his brother's thin shell. 

He looked up to see Raph breathing heavily by the door where Splinter had exited. His older brother was no longer staring intently at Donnie but at himself. he glared at his hands, biting his lip. 

he glared at the hands still covered in Donnie's blood. 

"Raph!" Leo once again felt the pang as his brother looked at him with the same puppy-like impression. he felt helpless, maybe even useless in the current situation. Leo sighed, relaxing his shoulders slightly. "Go clean yourself up."

"but-"

"look after Mikey for a bit, will you?" Leo cut his brother's protest off. "I'm sure he feels alone right now."

Raph processed for a second before nodding and exiting the room.

"Leo, are you going to do this or not?" April asked. Leo had been attempting to calm his trembling hands. he looked at April and asked her for one more thing before he started. her eyes widened, but she agreed and left for a second, returning a moment later with what Leo had asked her for. He nodded at her "Good. you can set it down for now."

she did and returned to Donnie's side as Leo pushed the needle for the first time into Donnie's shell. 

every prick, push, and pull got a reaction from Donnie. he tried to squirm, but April kept him still, speaking softly, unsure if he could even hear her. Leo got finished with the two smaller gashes on either side first. he looked at the third mark, knowing it would be the most difficult. not only was it the deepest but it was also directly in the middle of his carapace, where his shell was the most sensitive, according to Donnie. 

April had instructions for if Donnie woke up, and Leo didn't want to risk giving him the painkillers yet. he needed to know that Donnie was still reacting because if he stopped doing so, things wouldn't look good. plus, the painkillers were pills only. it wasn't like four mutant teenage turtle ninjas could go to the local Walgreens and buy anesthesia, not that Walgreens even had the stuff.

Leo took another breath, reminding himself to keep breathing, and got to work once again. he had been right in Donnie's reaction, as the pained whines and wiggling only got worse the closer to the middle of the wound Leo got. 

His eyes shot open and he screamed bloody mary. 

Leo Flinched, looking at April. Leo took her place temporarily, pinning Donnie's shoulders down as he struggled. 

Leo bit his lip as tears ran down Donnie's face, his body shaking from sobs, the movement only making him cry harder. 

"April!" Leo demanded she hurry as she held the device in her trembling hands. she wasn't taking this any better than Leo was. 

ready, aim... fire. 

the dart stuck into Donnie's thigh and he howled, his arms grasping at his shoulders for Leo's hands.

April immediately jumped to the front of the table, holding Donnie's face in her hands. she was also crying, as she pressed her forehead against his. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Don." she muttered almost incoherently to the pained turtle "Please, calm down, everything is going to be okay." she sobbed "please, just go back to sleep."

Donnie cried more, clenching his eyes shut, subtly leaning his head into April's in response. 

"shh," April's voice lowered in volume, trying to comfort him as Leo continued to hold him down. he wanted so badly to rub Donnie's head and join April in comforting him, but he couldn't let Donnie hurt himself more. "It's okay. Everything is okay."

Donnie's cries also quieted, as his struggling slowly ceased and his head fell heavy in Aprils hands. she looked at him for a moment, running her thumb over his cheeks to wipe away his tears, before looking up at Leo with an almost hopeless expression.

"Leo-" her voice cracked and Leo inhaled sharply.

"I know," He responded, releasing Donnie's shoulders as April returned to her spot on the other side of the table. "I know," he repeated, more to himself that time. He knew what she was feeling because he was feeling it too. If the idea that twins shared their pain was true, then where was the pain in his back? why was it all in his chest and his stomach? 

He went back to work keeping an eye on the heart monitor he had set up while he was cleaning up Donnie's shell. he tensed at every odd palpitation, every jerk, or too long silence between beats. his brother needed to be okay. it may have been a selfish request, but Leo NEEDED Donnie to be okay.

he had finished the stitches. he looked at his handiwork, positive that someone else could do it better. he hoped it would be enough. He reached for a can with a black label, with white layers. It was something Donnie and he had worked on together, to help fix Donnie's shell specifically. Donnie had wanted to make it since Raph had fallen on him as a child, injuring his shell. Donnie also made a separate formula built for his three brothers, but like his shell, his was different. 

Leo hoped the spray wasn't still in beta.

after the spray, Leo had April help him sit Donnie up so they could wrap the wound with bandages, gauze, and some healing cream from Splinter. 

Leo took a step back after laying Donnie back on his plastron with a pillow for his head. He looked at his sleeping brother, the background of the steady beeping reassuring him. April leaned against him, putting her head on his shoulder. 

Leo flinched at the touch. "April, you're soaked."

she blinked at him, then pulled at her clothes a bit. "Yeah, I guess I am."

he sighed. maybe he'd have to play doctor for a little while longer.

Chapter Text

Mikey swore, that if sounds were knives, Donnie's unholy screech cut straight through his plastron. 

the box turtle shot up from where he was situating pillows and his head whipped toward the medbay doors. He felt a shiver going down his spine as he immediately sprung across the lair and up towards the sound. He knew the screaming was coming from his purple brother, Leo's scream was far higher pitched, and Raphs's was much more gravelly. 

He was so close to the door, his hand reaching for the handle when something snatched him around the waist. "No!" he scrambled as the massive arms wound themselves tighter around his torso. "Raph!"

"Mikey, don't."

"I need to-" Mikey pulled at Raphs fingers, struggling with all his might. "Donnie needs me."

"April and Leo have him."

"April!" they heard Leo's panicked voice, then some kind of muffled pop.

Donnie screamed louder.

Mikey felt Raphs arms tighten around him, not hurting him, but rather attempting to comfort both turtles. Raph needed to hold something, and Mikey needed to be held. Mikey sunk more into his shell, knowing his biggest brother wasn't going to let him into the room. 

Mikey looked up at Raphs face and was shocked. His brother was staring at the door with a burning passion in his eyes. He wanted to go into the room just as badly as his littlest brother. He wasn't just holding Mikey back, he was holding Mikey to prevent himself from going into the room. 

both of them stood stock-still, Mikey desperately clinging to Raph's arms, finding more comfort in his grip. They stared at the door as Donnie's muffled cries receeded. His voice was followed by the barely noticeable sounds of April crying. 

Mikey finally moved, squirming a bit. "April-"

Raph buried his face in Mikey's shoulder. "She's fine, they're fine." his voice quieted to where Mikey could barely hear him "they have to be."

Mikey sighed. he knew his place in the team. Raph was the leader, and the protector, Leo made decent plans, Donnie was the tech guy, and Mikey was the emotional support. these were his moments. He needed to be Dr. Feelings. 

He removed Raph from his carapace slowly, then, grabbing his arm, led him over to the couch. he sat him down and curled up leaning against Raph's side. Raph didn't hesitate to put an arm around Mikey, holding him close. 

"Donnie is strong," Mikey mumbled, unsure of the words himself, but knowing Raph needed optimism at that moment. "He'll pull through, he always does."

Raph seemed sad at the comment, and Mikey realized the context in his head. Raph most likely thought back to the time he fell on Donnie and injured his shell. he still, to that day, blamed himself for the accident. 

Splinter, in a moment of panic as Donnie was screaming, had pushed the other brothers to the side to take care of the crying turtle. Raph took the motion to heart as Splinter scolding him, despite not saying a word. Splinter had carried Donnie into the kitchen to patch him up and Mikey remembered how Raph broke down. Leo and Mikey found it impossible to console the snapping turtle as he curled in on himself, crying. Leo was the first to figure out that it would help to clean the blood off of Raphs spiked shell. Mikey managed to squeeze himself against Raph's plastron, and they managed to calm him down enough.

After that, Raph changed his manner around Donnie. he always seemed to regard Donnie with a certain bubble around him, like if he stepped into the bubble, Donnie would pop. over time, Raph 'Donnie Bubble' only really separated the siblings. Mikey knew the two loved each other, but they had a certain tension there. It wasn't like they argued much, nor did they get along. it was a neutral relationship, not too much, and not too little. 

When the brothers had finally figured out Donnie's sensory issues and such, Mikey noticed that Raph took the opportunity to physically interact with Donnie even less. 

Leo never really had that kind of relationship with Donnie. it was more often than not that Donnie completely rejected his twin's touch, sometimes even holding Leo back with his spider shell, as if touching him was poisonous. 

April broke through the 'Donnie Bubble' with ease. she would ride Donnie's battle shell and sometimes cling to his arms unless he asked her not to.

Mikey was the exception. Unless Donnie was in a full sensory overload, he never denied Mikey's touch. He would carry Mikey, let him cuddle, and anything else Mikey wanted with zero protests, and Mikey was usually the only one who could help him when he was overloaded. 

Mikey was the only brother who had ever touched Donnie's shell. 

he only did it once, as the interaction had startled him too much to ever try again. Mikey had a nightmare and went to Donnie, who was the only one still awake (Somehow even Leo had been able to sleep after the eventful day). He curled up in bed with Donnie and fell asleep. in the middle of the night, he awoke to Donnie getting up to go to the bathroom, and Mikey, in reaching for his older brother, had grazed his shell with his fingertips. He was almost scared of the way Donnie flinched and tensed at the lightest tap. the shell had felt so soft, yet firm and leathery, with slight bumps all over it. 

Mikey sighed, his rad resting against Raph's plastron. He pulled himself away from his thoughts and immediately recognized the deafening silence that surrounded him. 

Mikey hated silence. 

In the process of his distracted thoughts, Splinter had come into the room and sat on the other side of Raph, stroking the back of the red-banded turtle's head. 

then the door to the medbay opened and Leo stepped out, rubbing his thumb over the palm of his opposite hand. 

"Leo!" Raph was the first to stand, startling Mikey as he followed suit, Splinter close behind. "How is he?"

Leo nodded slowly "He's okay." the slider added something under his breath that only splinter heard based on the slight lowering of his ears. 

"Can we see him?" Mikey asked.

Leo nodded. "he's still asleep, so be careful."

Mikey didn't hesitate to run past Leo into the Medbay. He immediately scampered over to Donnie's side, nearly slipping, and halting a foot from the table Donnie was lying on. April was sitting on a plastic bench on the other side, laying on her arms, her eyes locked onto Donnie's face. his head was turned to her side, but Mikey could see the drawn-up, strained look on his face. 

April didn't acknowledge Mikey's entrance, but he didn't expect her to, not with the pain in her eyes and the dried tear stains on her cheeks. 

her dark hair was down from its usual puffy bun and tangled around her head in a curly mess. Mikey stood there for a second, suddenly unsure of what to do. he had wanted to see Donnie, and he had. he had seen the thick white bandages that covered his carapace and saw the discarded bloody towels over near the sink. He saw the tranquilizer gun that had been discarded on the ground at the foot of the table, and the dart sitting on the counter behind April. He saw the stitching kit beside the dart and the discarded thread over the edge of the trashcan beside the counter. 

He hadn't seen how hurt Donnie was, Raph and Splinter made sure of that. 

But he could see what it had taken to help him and could put the pieces together from there. 

Donnie's shell had been hurt enough to need stitches, and had bled enough to hollow out his cheeks a bit. His screaming had been from unmedicated pain and he had to be tranquilized by either Leo or April so that they could help him without him hurting himself more. 

He had been hurt enough that Raph had come out of the medbay at first with a horrified look on his face and blood all over his plastron and hands, that now Raph was standing outside the medbay doors, but he did not enter. He had been hurt enough that April had thrown her jacket away, the green fabric stained a deep red that they'd never be able to unsee. 

Mikey hadn't seen it, and internally, he was glad. He didn't know how well he could have responded to it. He hadn't noticed that Donnie was without his shell. Mikey vaguely recalled Leo mentioning something about it to Donnie, but he'd ignored it. he had heard Raph in the bathroom, muttering about how something had felt wrong, he knew it when they were fighting the Shredder that something was wrong. 

Mikey hadn't felt that. he hadn't noticed. he was too tired to spare a glance at his most fragile brother. Donnie hated being looked at as fragile, but Mikey couldn't deny that the adjective fit. without his battle shell, Donnie could most likely be struck down with one hit, unlike his hard-shelled brothers. Donnie protected himself, he made sure he wasn't a burden.

maybe that was why he hadn't said anything until it was too late.

Mikey took a step back from the table, still unsure what to do. he had no idea what he wanted. 

April looked up at him, giving him a thin-lipped smile. she patted the spot beside her on the bench and then held her arm out. 

Mikey joined her without hesitation. she wrapped her arm around him and he laid his head on her shoulder. 

they stayed there, the silence made Donnie's steady breathing louder, calming the both of them, and allowing Mikey's heart rate to receed.

Donnie was going to be okay.

Mikey knew it. 

Chapter Text

When Donnie came to, he first felt pain and OH BOY was it bad. it spread across his shell and made his limbs and his head ache. He cringed, but that shot a bolt of pain through his limbs.

He hated the pathetic whimper that came from his throat.

"Donnie?" the soft voice that called his name came from his younger brother. He felt fingers brush his hand lightly, but they didn't attempt any further contact. 

Donnie attempted to open his heavy eyelids, but it was difficult. BREATHING was difficult, especially with how desperately Donnie wanted the pain to stop. 

He saw the blurry figure of Mikey, who was crouched by his head. 

Donnie groaned a bit, his head was foggy. "Mm- M'key."

"Hey, Donnie." the smaller turtle kept his voice quiet, which Donnie was grateful for. "How're you feeling?"

Donnie wasn't sure how to put it into words, so he just muttered a soft "ow." and Mikey frowned. 

"Okay, let me get Leo and we can try to get you some meds." Mikey disappeared and Donnie clenched his eyes shut. He didn't like how bright the lights were.

He felt something else shift beside him and he was confused. He opened his eyes a crack again and heard a voice. 

"Dee-" it was April. she scooted into his line of vision and gripped the edge of the table he was laying on. 

"hmm?" He hummed. 

Her big eyes wavered for a second before her face scrunched up in an upset manner. "Donnie- I'm-" she choked and Donnie stiffened as tears fell down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I-" she started violently rubbing her eyes with her bare arms. Donnie noticed she wasn't wearing her jacket anymore, and instead had on an oversized white t-shirt that definitely did not belong to her

Donnie wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't move, and could barely talk. He frowned, furrowing his drawn-on eyebrows in frustration and worry. 

then he relaxed a bit, allowing his back to stop aching as bad, and churred quietly, interrupting her apologizing. 

April sniffled, looking at him. "Dee?"

"not your fault," he mumbled. 

"but-"

"no." he stopped her. "not your fault."

her bottom lip quivered for a moment as she averted her gaze, looking around the room, her eyes searching for what else to say before they locked on a spot beside his head. she shook her own head for a second before sighing. "Donnie, you scared us back there."

He attempted a sigh as well but stopped when taking too deep of a breath sent ripples of pain through his back. "didn't mean to."

"I know." she took his hand and rubbed her thumb over the back of it for a second until the doors reopened revealing Leo with Mikey behind him. 

"Donnie!" Leo jogged across the room. "hey! how're ya feeling buddy?" he leaned over to meet Donnie's eyes, putting his hands on his knees for balance. 

"where's the bus?" Donnie smirked a bit.

Leo laughed. "no bus this time, just a nasty metal demon."

Donnie hummed and closed his eyes. he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. 

"hey, Don," Leo spoke back up. "I'm going to need you to stay awake for a few more minutes."

Donnie reluctantly reopened his eyes, looking at his twin as he fussed around him, moving and checking on things.

"Can you rate your pain on a scale of one to ten?" Leo asked.

"not movin', so three or four."

"and when you're moving?"

Donnie drew his lips in a thin line. according to how it was when he breathed too heavily, it was a solid ten, but he didn't want to admit that. 

he didn't want to seem weak.

"eight."

Leo paused and gave him a skeptical look. "alright, and would your 'eight'-" he made air quotes "-like some heavy painkillers?"

Donnie swallowed, knowing the medic of the team had seen through him. "yes please."

Leo nodded, satisfied, and set up some morphine that he'd pulled out of god-knows-where and set it up into the iv bag. The relief came within minutes, and the softshell relaxed into the bed he was lying on. 

Mikey plopped back down beside April, setting his chin on the bed and watching Donnie. 

Donnie felt something was off, but the drugs numbed his brain too. He blinked blearily, his body attempting once again to pull him back to sleep.

Leo, Mikey, April...

Leo, Mikey, Apr...

three...

one, two, three...

three, three, three...

four?

"Wh'res Raph?" Donnie mumbled with half-lidded eyes.

Mikey frowned. "He didn't want to come in yet."

Donnie furrowed his draw-on eyebrows in confusion. the last thought before drifting off into blissful numb unawareness was Awe man.

~~~

"come on," Leo encouraged as Donnie stifled a groan. He just wanted to sit up, was that too much to ask for?

his arms felt like jelly and his shell like fire. everything hurt and burned and brought an unwelcome stinging to his eyes.

Damnit.

Donnie stopped halfway, huffing. 

Leo set a hand softly on his shoulder. "Hey, don't push yourself."

Donnie shook his head and willed his body to push the rest of the way up, but it didn't respond. He suppressed a sigh and closed his eyes, frustrated. How was he supposed to get back to work at this rate? he was going stir-crazy lying on his stomach for the past two weeks. He needed to improve. 

Leo made an odd noise and Donnie felt a hand on his plastron.

it wasn't Leo's.

Donnie opened his eyes to see Raph helping him sit up, using his other hand to sweep Donnie's legs forward so he was sitting properly. He released him, then took a step back, keeping his eyes on Donnie, who in turn stared back. 

Leo looked between them and slipped out of the room, leaving them alone. 

Donnie looked away. "been a while. How's life?"

Raph shuffled. "life's okay. How's your shell?" 

Donnie narrowed his eyes. "you carried me here, Raph, I know that. you already know how it is."

Raph wilted a bit. "yeah, I guess that's true."

they remained in silence for another moment before Raph sighed and turned. "sorry Don, I gotta-"

"no." Donnie interrupted him and the snapping turtle froze, turning to look at him with worried confusion. "Raph, you haven't come in here in two weeks."

"yes, I have!" Raph protested.

"correction: You haven't come in here while I was awake in two weeks." Donnie monotoned. "at least stay for a minute or two."

Raph swallowed. "why?"

"Because," Donnie lowered his voice "I need to thank you... for carrying me here... after I ever so unprofessionally passed out."

Raph smiled nervously. "yeah, wasn't your best moment."

the two stared in silence once more before they both laughed. 

"I'm sorry, Donnie. I didn't know-" Raph hesitated, wringing his hands together as he tried to figure out the right words, "how to talk to you after I-" He sighed, resigning himself to his fate as he walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed and shifting the weight, jostling Donnie. "Raph was the closest to it, y'know? Raph should have stopped him from hitting ya or taken the blow instead but- but I froze."

Donnie watched him carefully, and once he was sure the snapper was done, He set a sore arm on his shoulder. "I hate to break this to you, Raph, but Leo is WAY faster than you."

Raph gave him an exasperated look, and Donnie backtracked. 

"what I mean is you wouldn't have been able to get to me fast enough to stop the damage. there was no way of predicting what happened."

Raph looked down at his hands in his lap sadly. 

"and more importantly," Donnie continued, figuring emotions (ew) might outweigh logic just this one time. "I don't blame you, at all. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault."

Raphs face drew up "but you coulda DIED Don, and I couldn't do nothin about it-"

"I didn't die." Donnie interrupted. "I'm alive and I'm safe and I'm healing."

Raph looked at him with big, sad eyes. Donnie smiled as well as he could at that moment. 

"And I might heal faster if you keep coming to visit while I'm awake. Leo and Mikey can be a bit too much sometimes."

Raph smiled. "Awe, Donatello showing emotions? what happened to your 'emotionally unavailable bad boy image'?"

"tell anyone and I will activate SHELLDONs' anti-turtle ray." Donnie glowered.

"why is that a thing?" Raph narrowed his eyes. 

Donnie averted his own. "I have my reasons."