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You never know how much you love someone until they’re gone. Every time Kai loses someone that phrase rings true, when Zane sacrificed himself to stop the digital overlord and the team split up, when Lloyd was possessed by Morro, those few horrible moments when they thought Cole was gone for good, when they lost Wu to time, when he and the team were separated from Lloyd and Nya. But of all of the times he's lost people this felt like the worst, like his heart was being torn out of his chest.
Jay screamed Cole's name and Kai ran to the railing watching in horror as he was swallowed by the dark cloud. Kai didn't think, just turned and ran to the steering wheel, pushing Nya out of the way and attempting to turn the ship around. Zane stopped him with one hand on the wheel and the other on his arm, anger sparked in his chest when Zane told him to stop. One look from Zane and tears sprung to Kai's eyes, he tried to blink them away but he gave up after a minute. Zane held him as he cried and Kai couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed about it.
He had to carry on, he knew that, but it was hard. Every time he thought about Cole being gone it felt like a knife slicing through his heart, especially when they had to tell Lloyd. Kai automatically moved to comfort the younger, hugging him as Lloyd let himself cry. By the time the team had gotten back to the monastery most of them had composed themselves, compartmentalizing for the sake of finishing the fight. The exception was Jay, who still looked like he could start crying at the drop of a hat.
And then they were back at the monastery and Kai pushed all thoughts of Cole away while he re-forged the golden weapons. It was only when he held up the sythe of quakes that he remembered again. He ignored the sharp pang in his heart as he held it out to Nya. The bell was ringing before she had a chance to take it. They all ran out of the forge and soon enough they were fighting the Oni. Kai let his instincts take over, not thinking about anything but the fight.
When Cole's vehicle showed up Kai almost thought he might be dreaming, part of him wanted to run to him, hug him and not let go, another part of him wanted to cry again, but he couldn't do any of that, he had to keep fighting. They were forced to retreat back behind the walls and Cole met his eyes. This might be the end but at least they were all together. It had felt like a piece of him was missing but now it was back so despite the dire situation, he was happy.
Jay caught everyone off-guard by using the opportunity to propose to Nya, at least he finally did it but seriously? "We really need to work on your sense of timing." and then Lloyd suggested the tornado of creation and they were all flung in different directions. Kai ended up pinned under a beam, he wasn't injured but Cole had to help him. For a moment Cole held his hand and he everything was right with the world, until Zane asked where Lloyd was.
Lloyd was buried under rubble. When they got him out he wasn't moving, Kai couldn't even tell if he was breathing. The stabbing feeling was back but somehow it felt duller than before. When Wu said there was nothing he could do Kai wanted to cry again. He walked over to comfort the old man. Then Lloyd was coughing; breathing. Relief washed over him he didn't think his heart could take another scare like that. Cole pulled him into a hug, briefly, Kai thought about just staying there but he didn't. Kai moved to help Lloyd up, pulling him into a half hug for a second. Lloyd was confused, saying something about the first spinjitsu master, and they team led him inside.
For a long time, the whole team was reluctant to let Cole or Lloyd out of their sight. There were plenty of hugs all around. Finally, everyone calmed down, giving into post-battle exhaustion and basically collapsing on the couch together.
Kai hadn't mean’t to but he must have fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes the lighting had changed. He looked around the room to see that Cole wasn't there. Panic surged through him and he untangled himself from the mass of bodies, gently pushing Lloyd's head off of his chest. Lloyd stirred but didn't completely wake up, he shifted turning his head so it now lay on Nya's shoulder.
Kai left the room poking his head outside of the partially opened door. Cole stood outside staring up at the sky. Kai forced himself to relax and walked over to the other boy. "Hey," Kai kept his voice low to hopefully not startle him. Cole turned and smiled at him. Kai walked over to stand next to him. For a moment they stood in silence but Kai couldn't help but look at him, he didn't look hurt, maybe a few cuts and bruises but nothing too serious. Cole caught him staring and raised an eyebrow at him, "I'm really glad you're ok, I don't know what we'd have done if we lost you and Lloyd." Kai told him.
Cole studied him, and then looked away, "when I was down there, in the darkness, all I could think about, other than the fact that I was going to die, was getting back to you." Cole admitted.
Kai's heart did a little flip, "you mean the team?"
Cole glanced at him, "well yeah, but also just you specifically." Kai stared at him, heart racing, "I know that's probably weird, why you of all people?" Kai made an offended face and Cole smirked at him, "honestly, I didn't understand it myself, but I think I do know." Cole met his eyes and Kai held his gaze. Neither of them knew what to say next.
Kai was the one to break eye contact, "I... When we thought you were..." he couldn't say it, "I didn't know what to do. I've lost a lot of people but losing you was worse, even compared to losing Lloyd, or well I guess it hurt just as much but it was different, and I don't think it was because I think of him as a brother is and you as a friend. I mean I guess that's part of it but it was different than losing friends too." Kai stopped for a minute trying to collect his thoughts, "what I'm trying to say is-" he looked over at him again, the setting sun caught his eyes just right and took Kai's breath away. "FSM, I want to kiss you."
Cole was caught off guard but then he laughed, it was the best sound Kai had heard all day. Cole's hand cupped his chin and Cole leaned down, "me too," he whispered. Kai closed the distance between them. It felt like electricity, both of them had been shocked by Jay enough to know, but it was a good feeling. Kai snaked his arm around Cole pulling him even closer. Eventually, they had to break the kiss, stupid air. Cole rested his forehead on Kai's and they stayed like that for awhile. There was no need for words, both were completely content to stay there, holding each other as the sun went down, showering them in golden light.
